#does anyone remember animated james

[sissylittlefeather]

Animal Instinct: A Johnny Tyrone Story

A/N: I hadn't written a movie character one in a while, so it just felt right. Also, even if you hate Harum Scarum, the smut here is some of the hottest I've ever written so, y'know, read it anyway 😂

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, all the smut, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, face fucking, ejaculation, Johnny is a bit bossy, but not mean, idk this is a smut fest

Word count: ~2k

Johnny surveys the room while his movie plays on the projector. This is a wild crowd, exotic and unique, but also beautiful. His eyes move from face to face, admiring the women as he scans for someone to entertain him tonight. He's leaving in the morning, but he has this evening to fill and he knows what he's in the mood for.

That's when he finds you, a cocktail waitress, moving clumsily from table to table. It's obvious you're a little uncomfortable in this role, but he finds all your stumbles and apologies endearing. Especially when you bend over to pick up a dropped fork and your tight skirt rides up in the back and perfectly hugs the curve of your ass. Eventually, you bring a tray of drinks over to his table. You notice him immediately, looking almost like James Bond in his white jacket with the black bow tie. As an American expat who's living here with your family after your father moved to the area for business, you're familiar with Johnny Tyrone. Without thinking, you lean over the table to hand someone else a drink and he gets a good peek of your cleavage. Now he's dead set on making something happen with you. He just has to find the right opening, the right line. But he doesn't even need one when you accidentally slip and drop a whole glass of red wine in his lap, staining his white jacket.

“Oh my God! Shit. I'm so sorry!” He chuckles a little at how you curse and fumble to find a napkin.

“It's really fine-”

“No! I ruined your jacket!” You go to work frantically wiping his lap to try to clean up the mess you've made, not even thinking about which part of his body you're touching. He tries to decide if he should stop you, since you're basically stroking his cock at this point, but he decides this is his opening. That's when you feel him and gasp. He's rock hard under your palm.

“Oh!” You freeze and pull your hand back quickly. “Oh God, I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be, honey, I was quite enjoying it.” If he was any other man on earth, that might be creepy, but he gives you a small lopsided smile and you melt, your panties getting noticeably wetter.

“Your jacket…” He looks down at the giant red stain at the bottom of his jacket.

“I bet you've got something in the kitchen that'll get this off. Don't ya, honey?” His blue eyes are on fire and you know he's not talking about getting a stain off.

“Yeah… some club soda… or something.” You bite your bottom lip and rub your thighs together, praying he doesn't notice, but he does, of course. He's got you exactly where he wants you.

“Well, I'm following you, honey.” You notice he adjusts himself so that his erection won't be noticeable when he stands up. Nodding, you let him put his hand on the small of your back and then guide him to the kitchen.

Thankfully, everyone there is so worried about what they're doing that no one bats an eye when you walk in with him. He leans down and whispers in your ear, pressing himself up behind you.

“We need somewhere more private to take care of this… stain…” You wrack your brain and look around the room. That's when you remember the dry storage closet. No one ever really goes in there after the cooking is finished and it's big enough for two people to move around comfortably.

“C'mon.” You grab his hand and take him to the closet, prepared to tell anyone who asks that you're looking for club soda, but no one even acknowledges you.

When you make it inside, he has his hand on your ass before you even close the door. Once it's locked, he pushes up against your back again and whispers in your ear.

“I'm Johnny, honey. What's your name?” You whisper your name back to him breathlessly as he presses his lips to the side of your neck. “You're very sexy, honey. Anybody ever tell you how sexy you are?”

His hot breath on your ear has you dripping with desire as his lips graze your skin. You whimper as he puts both hands on your hips, bending you forward a bit, and then runs them down the front of your thighs to the hem of your dress. He moves his fingertips under the edge of your skirt and around to the back of your legs. One hand grabs your ass cheek and the other slips between your legs up to your slippery center. He pushes your panties to the side and runs a finger through your folds, moving his other hand up to your hip to hold you still.

“Damn, honey. So wet already and I haven't even touched you yet. Daddy’s gonna take such good care of you, princess.” You gasp as he pushes first one and then two fingers up inside of you, pumping them hard. “You like that? You like it when daddy fucks you with his fingers, princess?”

“Y-yes… oh God, daddy.” You whimper and moan as he slams his hand against you. After a few seconds, he slips his fingers out and then pulls you back to his chest, whispering in your ear.

“Just wait until I get my cock in you.” You moan loudly and grind your ass against him where he strains against his pants. “Is that what you want, princess?”

“Fuck… yes, please.” It comes out as a whine and he smiles.

“Tell daddy what you want.” He slides both hands up your front to squeeze your breasts.

“I w-want you to fuck me.” He groans in your ear and bucks his hips against your ass. You feel him pull back a bit as he undoes his pants and frees his dick, pumping it a few times. He rips your panties down with one hand and they get stuck at your knees, but he doesn't care. You whimper when he pulls your skirt up roughly, exposing you to him. You've never been with anyone this intense and it's turning you on like crazy.

“Such a pretty little ass.” He spanks you and you yelp a little. “I'd love to get my tongue in your pussy, but I'm not sure daddy can wait that long tonight.”

As he talks, he rubs his tip around in your arousal. You can't see his cock, so when he starts to push into you, you gasp a little with the size of him.

“You're taking daddy’s cock so well, princess. D’you like it? Like me fillin’ you up like this?” You whimper and nod your head, unable to make words. He bends you forward and pushes on your lower back to arch it a bit as he finally bottoms out, so deep inside you it makes you want to scream in the best way possible. Then, he grabs your ponytail, wraps it around his hand, and pulls as he waits for you to adjust to him.

You hold onto the metal shelves filled with dry goods and he slowly starts to pick up a pace of pounding you from behind. Each thrust gets a little harder and eventually things are falling off the shelves as he slams into you over and over, one hand in your hair and one hand on your hip. “Fuck, honey, this little pussy is so good. So good and tight for daddy.”

You moan loudly as droplets of sweat slide down his forehead. He hasn't had a fuck this good in a while and he's not exactly eager for it to end. Still, he can feel you getting close and he's also not going to let you go unsatisfied.

“You gonna cum for daddy, princess?”

“Yes, oh!” You're a whimpering, gasping mess at this point.

“Be a good girl and rub on your clit for me.” He says it with such authority that you don't even think about it. You just run your hand between your legs and go to work dragging your fingertips over your sensitive bud as he ruts into you from behind. “That's it, honey, good girl. Make yourself cum for daddy.”

“Fuck…” It comes out as a moan as you get closer and closer to the edge.

“Come on, honey. Daddy needs to feel you.” That's all it takes to push you over the edge into the wildest climax you've ever experienced. It's like someone lit your blood on fire as it rushes through you and you shiver and throb around his cock. He fucks you through it and you damn near pass out with the sensation of him hitting your g-spot as you cum.

When you go floppy, he pulls out and turns you around, pushing you up against the door. He lifts you up by your thighs and slides into you as you wrap your legs around his waist. You bite your lip to keep from screaming at the overstimulation, but it feels so good that you'd never dream of making him stop. Almost anticipating what you're thinking, he whispers huskily in your ear.

“You can do it, princess. You can take this cock until I finish like a good girl.”

“Fuck, daddy, please…”

“Please what?” He kisses your neck so tenderly as he pounds you harder than you've ever been fucked before.

“Please don't stop…”

“You want daddy to fill you up with cum, princess? Or you want it all over you?”

“On me.” He grins and captures your lips in a bruising kiss. Then, he pulls out and sets your feet back on the floor. Your legs are shaking like crazy though, so you're thankful when he gives you a new direction.

“Get on your knees, princess.” You eagerly do as you're told and he runs his thumb along your bottom lip. “Open.”

He pushes his cock past your lips and as far back as it'll go without making you gag. Somehow, he knows just where to stop, as he holds your ponytail again and thrusts slowly into your mouth. Your eyes water, but you use your hand to pump the rest of him. He's too big to fit entirely into your mouth.

“Yes, princess. You like when daddy fucks you like this? God, you're so pretty with your lips on my cock.” You can't do anything more than let out a muffled moan. “Gonna cum soon.”

You push the shoulders of your shirt down and expose your breasts, squeezing them together to give him a target. He groans and pulls out of your mouth, pumping his dick a few times before he cums long and hard all over your chest.

“Fuck yeah, princess. God, you're so sexy wearing my cum like that.” He holds your chin in his hand and smiles down at you, still fully dressed in his white jacket with the wine stain on it. With his help, you shakily get to your feet and he finds a napkin to wipe you clean with. But before he does, he pulls your shirt back up, leaving you a mess under your top.

“Johnny, what-?” As he wipes the parts of your chest that can be seen, he smirks.

“Now you know, and I know, that you're covered in me where it can't be seen.” Your mouth pops open in slight shock, but the thought turns you on so much that you close it again.

“That's… wow…” He leans in and kisses your cheek. “What are you going to do about your jacket?”

“I have another one in my room. Speaking of…” you feel him press a key into your palm. “You should head up there as soon as you finish here. I'm not quite done with you, princess.”

He winks and clicks his tongue as he walks out of the closet, leaving you to clean up the room. You pick up everything that fell off of the shelves and straighten your dress to go back to work. But no matter how hard you try, you can't ignore the feeling of his release under your shirt. You look at the key in your hand and sigh. There's not a damn thing that could keep you out of his room tonight.

******

The End

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[serpenera]

One of the things that most irks me in the HP, and especially Snape discourse, is the misinterpretation of the meaning of the patronus. The general consensus seems to be that the shape of the patronus indicates one’s true love but that is a massive oversimplification that creates numerous inconsistencies. In other words, when we look at it like that, the patronus makes NO SENSE. Except the patronus makes PERFECT SENSE. Just let me explain.

The patronus, as we know, is a charm that repels Dementors - an anthropomorphized representation of clinical depression. Keep that in mind as this is important. You conjure it by focusing on a happy memory or should I rather say a happy thought.

Memory is the word Lupin uses when he first explains the patronus to Harry and I’d argue this is the reason why Harry initially fails at conjuring one. He remembers his first time on a broom and winning the house cup. Both happy memories to doubt but “not powerful enough” as Lupin puts it. So what makes a powerful memory?

Harry tries again and succeeds by focusing on the memory of finding out he was a wizard and would be leaving the Dursleys and going to Hogwarts. What makes this memory different than the other two is that it wasn’t just that of a fleeting moment of glee but of an event that marked a major change in Harry’s life, a change for the better. Yes, it was a moment from the PAST but one that influenced Harry’s PRESENT and FUTURE.

See, this is the key to understanding the patronus. The trick is not to remember a happy past long gone, it’s to find something in the past that gives you a reason to move forward. Anyone, who’s ever been depressed to the point of wanting to off themselves will know what I’m talking about here. And those who don’t, good for you.

Anyway, back to Harry. When he conjures his first fully corporeal patronus at the end of PoA, he thinks of going to live with Sirius. And when he uses the spell again in GoF he thinks of celebrating the end of the Tournament with Ron and Hermione. In both cases, he doesn’t even recall an event of the past but projects into the future. And note that regardless of whom or what he thinks of (and not once does he think of his dad), his patronus stays a stag. Even after his love and admiration for James falters due to the discovery of SWM, his patronus stays a stag. This is because the stag, while visually traceable back to James, does not represent James as a person but rather a concept that James himself is a representation of. The stag stands for family, legacy, and a sense of belonging. What keeps Harry moving forward despite all the obstacles is not the mere memory of having had a dad once, it’s the realization that he’s not alone in the world, that he has friends who care about him, and that he’s part of a community.

If we look at the patronus through this lens we can logically explain the shape and origin of all the major ones present in the books.

Snape is often accused of being a stalker incel and whatnot because (apparently) his doe patronus is the same as Lily’s.

First of all, did you pull that information out of your ass? ‘Cause I checked and nowhere in the book(s) does it say what shape her patronus was. The same goes for James. He was a stag animagus. We don’t know what shape his patronus was. That, assuming they both even knew the charm. Although, as Order members, they probably did. If they hadn’t learned it at school, Dumbledore or another Order member would’ve taught them.

Okay, for the sake of this argument, let’s assume that James’ patronus was in fact a stag and Lily’s was a doe and also that the animals represent them respectively. People will argue that the fact the patronuses match (they don’t actually cause they’re two different species of deer but never mind) implies they were each other’s soulmates. To back that argument they will cite Tonks’ patronus which changed into a wolf after she fell in love with Lupin. At the same time, they will argue that Snape’s doe indicates an unhealthy obsession with Lily. Can you spot the issue with this reasoning?

Snape’s and Tonks’ cases are analog: their patronuses turn into animals related to the other person. And yet in Snape’s case, it’s obsession, and in Tonks’, it’s love?

Lily/James and Tonks’ cases are opposite: Lily/James patronuses turn into animals related to themselves while Tonks’ turns into one related to her love interest. But in both cases, it’s true love?

If Snape’s obsessed with Lily then Tonks is obsessed with Lupin and Lily and James are just obsessed with themselves. Contrarily, if Tonks loves Lupin then Snape loves Lily, and Lily and James, again, just love themselves respectively. Moreover, if you follow either logic, Harry is obsessed / in love with James and Dumbledore with Fawkes.

See how none of that makes ANY SENSE whatsoever? Also, no, it’s not a plothole. Y’all are just looking at it wrong. Now let’s rewind and analyze all of these the same way we did with Harry’s at the beginning of this rant.

James’ case is very straightforward. Similarly to Harry, James finds meaning in the traditional idea of family, clan legacy, and belonging. Remember how on the train to Hogwarts he says he wants to be a Gryffindor just like his dad? That, in my opinion, is already very telling, and considering that right after school James marries the girl he decided would be the future mother of his children and promptly gets her pregnant we can easily deduce what he values and what he believes his higher purpose to be. When facing a Dementor and being consumed by despair, perhaps remembering the loss of his parents and perceived betrayal of his best friends, in order to push through he certainly focuses on his wife and especially his son.

Lily’s doe patronus has nothing to do with Snape. Or with James for that matter. Instead, it has everything to do with Harry. See, many real-life women who find themselves at the edge of despair for one reason or another declare they only push forward because of their children. I think Lily is no different. I mean, she did die trying to protect her child. So I think that facing a Dementor, she thinks of Harry. Her wish to be there for her son and protect him is what keeps her going forward despite everything. She has to be strong because she is needed and that is what her doe stands for.

The doe and the stag, somewhat complementary animals, both symbolize family-related but very different concepts. The stag carries a distinctly masculine meaning, that of the passing of legacy and prolonging the bloodline. The doe has a more feminine feel, that of nurturing and protecting.

Snape’s patronus is the same animal as Lily not because he loves her or is obsessed or even just friends with her. It’s the same because both these characters find purpose in the same thing: being needed.

While for Lily this mindset seems to stem from her motherhood, for Snape it seems to have always been there and for very a different reason. The severe neglect he experienced in his early childhood conditioned him to always seek external validation. It’s as if he couldn’t find value in himself unless someone else found it in him. This is why he was trying so hard to be useful to Lily when they first became friends. This is why he got himself groomed by the Death Eaters. This is also why he was so easily manipulated by Dumbledore.

Speaking of Dumbledore, he has to have taught Snape the patronus charm and it must have happened sometime between his defection and the Potters’ death. Now imagine what that might have looked like.

Dumbledore explains how the patronus works. Snape tries, recalling one of his happy childhood moments with Lily, and fails. He chooses another memory and fails again. Dumbledore tells him it has to be something really powerful. Snape is out of ideas, the only happy memories he has are of his childhood friendship with Lily but that friendship is over, it has been for a while, she’s married to his bully and having his child, and on top of that, she’s being targeted by Voldemort and it’s all his fault. Reminiscing their past together is nowhere near enough to fuel the patronus. Then Snape projects into the future in which thanks to him, Lily is safe, she forgives him for his past mistakes and they make up. This time he successfully conjures his trademark doe.

I imagine that, after Lily died, Snape would have had trouble producing a patronus. That would be until Dumbledore pointed out how even in death she still needed him to protect her child. He would then focus on a future in which Voldemort is defeated, Harry is safe, his debt with Lily is paid and his sins are redeemed.

Dumbledore knows that Snape’s doe patronus is related to Lily but it’s probably because he taught him the charm himself and in doing so he learned that it was thoughts and memories of her that fueled it. Not because it was (presumably, mind you) the same shape as hers.

That said, I’m firmly convinced that if Snape had survived the war he would again have had trouble producing a proper patronus, not because of any change in his feelings towards Lily but rather because with Harry safe and Voldemort gone, he’d find himself lacking a purpose. If, for example, he got himself involved with someone else, someone who would make him feel needed, he might be able to produce a patronus again but it would most certainly remain a doe.

Tonks’ patronus is an interesting one because it actually changes its shape in the course of the narrative. We know it became a wolf after Tonks fell in love with and started dating Lupin.

Yes, it’d be easy to assume that the wolf represents the character whose name is literally Wolfy McWolf and who’s also a werewolf but that would be both shallow and inaccurate.

Tonks’ wolf, not unlike Lily and James’ stag and dear, is symbolically tied to the concept of family and friendship. We don’t know what drove Tonks forward before she became involved with Lupin but we can easily deduce that what drives her afterward is the thought of being with him. When she conjures her patronus, she probably thinks of a future in which they have a proper relationship or perhaps start a family. When Snape makes a dab at her patronus he isn’t just being mean. Knowing Lupin, he probably expects him not to take responsibility for his actions towards Tonks and wiggle out of the relationship the moment things get a little bit too serious for his liking. In saying her patronus is weak he’s trying to warn her not to put her faith in Lupin.

In the end, I’d like to mention Dumbledore’s patronus. Just like a phoenix is reborn from its ashes, Dumbledore rises up from the pit of his troubled youth. When in the vicinity of a Dementor, he must be plagued by thoughts of his misplaced aspirations, of Ariana’s death, and his fall out with Grindelwald. The thought I believe he focuses on in those moments is that of having rehabilitated himself in the eyes of society, and having ultimately become a champion of the light.

[koko-canie]

❥⠀Orin Ayo Headcannons　｡｡｡

Warnings　𓎟𓎟　 Mentions of Death regarding Drug use , Gun Violence , Body horror , Mentions of abuse , Cult mention ( obv ) , Kidnapping , Trauma etc

NOTES : Nothing is explained in super graphic detail of course but there's alot of dark themes here , its a horror mod so yeah. also some of these headcannons are personal !! don't take these seriously its just my interpretation

DREAM / LIE :

Lie isn't an exact "personification" of someone's trauma , but really an unnamed corpse who like the others is a victim of Tab's cult.

He's called "Lie" by the others as they do no know his actual name nor origins.

he has no memories of his past life

Lie also doesn't talk either , not that he isnt able to but he simply remains quiet for the most part.

Nonbinary , but only bc they cant tell what his gender is ( however he still uses he / him )

HART :

Her and James ( along with Kurt ) have a sibling like bond , James lets her sit around him

is able to remember her past but often doesn't like to.

Before Death she used to be a dancer ( ballet dancer )

while she cant speak very well she does whisper , you can hear her when its very quiet

BAYLEE :

He's very sarcastic but given he's a statue head bust its not surprising

While he isn't chatty , Baylee may make one-off comments or remarks to anyone he happens to see

he cannot move at all , others have to help him move

he has no memory of how he died , nor why he's even in a the cult in the first place

his face being covered in clay prevents him from making expressions but he can change his tone of voice

HUE :

in my mind , his design is different ( /glowingparasite's design of hue is what he looks like in my mind bc his actual design sucks poo poo )

Like a Tiger , he makes a "chuff" sound when pleased or content

he also knocks a lot of stuff over just because ( dudes a huge house cat tbh )

When he talks it sounds more like growling

James sometimes tries to pet hue when he isn't looking ( James is a softy for animals )

PROTOTYPE 3 :

legit cannot speak , only uses sound effects to communicate

i don't have much for her sadly

ETHAN :

He could play just about any instrument

He has a tenancy to move his fingers around when standing ( he's got the tism )

Despite being blind , he still remembers how to play most instruments by memory

Type of dude to say "Wowzers" and "Aw shucks" unironically

has a lisp

HETY :

was originally a pretty devoted followers of the cult , when she died Tab decided to bring her back to life.

very mentally unstable

She does have a body under the mass of ferrofluid and wires , but its very hard to notice and see

she is able to use these wires to grab things and attack ( she attacked lilac so yeah )

Reasoning for attacking iliac was due to her being a big fan but lilac ultimately rejected seeing her because of her sneaking back stage without permission. this lead to Hety attacking lilac.

DOUGG :

His inclusion to the cult was simply because Tab didn't like him. Dougg didnt actually do anything.

before death he was a gambler

he's a pretty sneaky dude though , sometimes playing pranks on the others for the hell of it

Likes to mess with James because of his reactions

AZ-TF :

When they talk it sounds like two people speaking at once

AZ has the deeper voice and TF has the higher one

they have no memories of their past

They often bicker about small things

STANLEE :

Before his death , he was actually friends with Andrew ( and even lived with him for a while )

When Stanlee is sober he is surprisingly well spoken and actually pretty smart

His addiction developed at 21

Due to his now ferrofluid blood , he cannot become sober and is forever high

he struggles with his memory

ACHETURE ( FLICKERR ) :

Can communicate though words on its screen

despite being a TV , its still sentient

Acheture still retains its memories before death

KURT :

He's often around James or Hart as he doesn't trust the others. ( its like a sibling dynamic )

Originally he was very scared of James , this changed over time

He also likes to keep the duck around for comfort

Kurt likes to draw to show how he's feeling

His vision is very blurry

CRATZ PURR :

Oldest within the cult in terms of age

he's just everyone's grandpa

he's a nervous wreck however and tends to get overly worried about the others

his voice sounds sorta autotuned with an organ

LILAC :

She's a lesbian ( sorry but i cannot see her dating a man , i don't ship her with neester at all :/ )

she still has her guitar but she cant play it

She considers Ethan to be a little brother

she frequently argues with James due to him being rude to everyone

Before her death she was very influential in the goth rock scene

JAMES :

I already wrote some headcannons for him in this post but ill add more

he struggles with empathy and often disregards others alot

despite this however he is very nice to Kurt and Hart

he also likes the duck

DERICK :

He isn't able to speak , like at all

i don't have anything for him srry

DUCK :

She's basically the cults pet

James is responsible for feeding her

KASKI :

Bi disaster

Often makes internet references that nobody understand ( aside from Baylee and Ethan )

Meows at people ( vocal stim )

has attempted to plat games on prototype 3 before

The hands on her body are tattoos but they can move

ANDREW :

He's a very slow talker , his voice is also very low

He often sings sea shanties to himself

when alive , he lived along the coast. from there he sailed off for fun.

at some point he met Stanlee when he was alive and even let him live with him. the two were very very close. however one say Andrew would get high and fall off his boat , resulting in his death. this had lead Stanlee's addiction to worsen and lead to his death too.

Andrew often stays around Stanlee within the cult , even if Stanlee cant quite remember him. ( doomed yaoi oops )

[turvi]

Sweeter than Sweets

Image Source:- Pinterest

Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Your friendship with the Marauders was unexpected but very welcoming. You were introduced to the group by Remus. Remus shared a few classes with you and got acquainted with you. One day he saw you eating lunch by yourself in the Great Hall and invited you over ignoring Sirius' glares.

Remus warned you before he introduced you to everyone "Sirius can be very cold and hostile, but he can be kind too, just try not to let the rudeness of his first words to you cut you too deeply."

It seemed like Remus was true because while everyone gave her a warm welcome Sirius gave you a cold shoulder every time you tried talking to him. You gradually got closer to the Marauder and Sirius didn't like it. But you liked Sirius a lot. You would overhear his conversations and the soft voice he would use on other girls and wish he talked to you like that. You loved his smile the most. It felt so innocent so opposite to his flirtatious nature.

Sirius was annoyed at how you were always bright, you made bad jokes but your laughs made others laugh sometimes even him but he won't admit it. He hated how everyone quickly opened up to you and even Remus Lupin who has a hard time talking to someone new just confessed to you that he is a werewolf and the rest of the Marauders were Animagus.

Now Sirius was furious and as a result, he was having an argument with Remus right now. "Have you lost it Moony? Why did you have to tell her all that? If you are in such a mood to reveal your secrets let us announce to the students in Great Hall that we are a bunch of feral animals"

Remus chuckled "Oh Padfoot you say you don't like her but you two are so similar. You know mate I won't just tell anyone. I trust her that is why I told her."

Sirius was about to berate Remus when he interrupted "give her one chance Padfoot then you can ignore her as much as you want. Why do you even hate her so much?"

"I don't hate her Moony. She just is so bright and happy all the time. She has overused her motto about how life is too short to take it seriously while absurdly winking at me."

"Just talk to her once will you?." With that Remus started to leave his room.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, Y/n is making a cake for us. Too bad you don't like her you would love her cake."

Sirius hated the smug look on his best friend and decided to talk to you because it looked like you were going to stick with the group.

You were sitting in front of the fireplace reading your book. Sirius started to feel nervous to talk to her. This is not his first time talking to a girl but normally he would be able to predict how the girls will react to his words, either they will hate it or love it. You are so far best described as unpredictable.

He slowly approached her. "Hey Y/n". You cautiously looked at him "hey Sirius". He felt a slight pain in his chest as he saw how you didn't give him the bright smile you give his friends. He pointed towards the empty space beside her "can I sit here?" You patted the empty seat but were still cautious.

Remus told her how Sirius can be loving once you will get to know him but before that, he can be very cold and rude. You were cautious not to upset him more. Of course, Sirius never blatantly told you but she could see he didn't like her as much as his friends did.

"So you like baking?" Sirius started awkwardly. You stared at him blankly then remembered that two days ago you made a chocolate cake for the three boys. "Uh I do, I don't know if I am great at it but Remus ends up finishing the deserts I make, he has quite a sweet tooth."

Sirius chuckled at her words "he does, chocolate is his favorite flavor." You turned to him immediately "tell me about it, that boy finished up three chocolate mug cakes while James and Peter were busy talking to me. I had to make more for the poor lads."

Sirius started laughing as he imagined Remus eating mug cakes in one corner. "What is a mug cake?" You gasped at that "come with me I have to make you a mug cake right now." You grabbed his wrist softly and tugged him towards the kitchen. For some reason, Sirius found your smile very soft today. The whole night as you made mug cakes for him, Sirius opened up to her more and found Remus was right about her. "She is as sweet as her desserts". He enjoyed the dessert you gave him but after spending time with you he wanted to consume a different dessert. You.

It was a warm day outside and the marauders took the opportunity to take a dip in black lake. Sirius decided to stay out of the water as he couldn't keep his mind off of you who he opened up to last night.

It felt like a fever dream to him, how he started to enjoy your bad jokes and how he shivered under your accidental touches. The smell of your citrus perfume lingered in his senses. He was confused as to why he felt like this. He never felt his opinion about someone change so quickly. All he could think about was if your kisses will taste sweet or not.

"Hey guys" your voice interrupted his thoughts about you. He groaned not because of frustration but because he realized that now he is falling for you. Sirius finally comes up with what he thinks is a brilliant idea.

"Hey, you know what Prongs I think I will join you guys in the water. You are joining us Y/n?"

Everyone looks at Sirius as he gently asks. You shyly decline and he nods and jumps into the water. You notice how beautiful he looks, you have always noticed that but he also seemed more intimidating than others. You noticed that he immediately got out of the water, his white shirt stuck to his body revealing the black ink that decorated his body. He had.... tattoos? You immediately looked away when you realized that you were staring at him.

You didn't know Sirius had tattoos. And you didn't know you had a thing for tattoos. Sirius noticed you looking away, your face flushed. He smirked and quickly ran towards you. "Doll could you pass me the towel?" You wordlessly nodded and handed him the towel without looking at him. Sirius enjoyed how easily you got flustered by him.

"Do you mind if I open my shirt?" Your mind started short-circuiting when he asked that. It's ok he is just opening his shirt. No big deal and oh dear you feel like you might faint when you glanced at him and he winked at you as he opened his shirt. He sits beside you still keeping a respectable distance from you.

"Is the grass more interesting than me love?" You should have brought your book with you so didn't have to stare at the grass while a very shirtless Sirius Black sat beside you.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" concern was very evident in his voice. He made it hard not to fall for him. "No Sirius it is alright I don't want to make you uncomfortable"

Sirius chuckled "it is ok I don't mind, I only take off my shirt for girls who share their dessert with me." You chuckled at that.

He continued "I am sorry for being so harsh with you, I have trust issues."

"I understand, then why did you give me a chance?"

"Well it looks like you are here with us to say and those three idiots kept saying how sweet you are I had to see for myself."

"And what is your judgment? Am I sweet?"

"Darling you are sweeter than your sweets" Sirius scooted closer to you when he saw you smile.

"There is a question plaguing my mind."

"What?"

"if you taste sweet too." he got closer to you "Can I have a taste?"

"Yes." He kissed you like he had no other purpose. He held you so gently but his kiss was fiery. When you separated to regain your breath you asked him "so? what do you think?"

"They can have your sweets I am having you."

A/N: This is long. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. sorry. REBLOGS AND FEEDBACKS if you like this.

[deafeninggalaxycandy]

✨️KENNY MCCORMICK HEADCANONS✨️

TW: mentions of drugs, death, alcohol, weed, sex stuff (not nsfw just sex related things. I mean it's Kenny, cmon)

• Kenneth James McCormick

• He/They/She (Genderfluid)

• Born on March 22nd, 2004

• 5'8"

• Pansexual

• Kenny was depressed for a long time about his immortality and never being able to die fully while being in constant pain and having added ptsd from his deaths.

• Eventually, he decided to drown his pain in drugs and alcohol since he'd just come back the next day

• He's done every single drug he could find. Mostly cocaine, painkillers, percs, and Xanax

• He's still kind of perverted but that toned down as he got older, and he got into more serious relationships

• Biggest pothead in the universe. He is never not high as fuck unless he's with Kelly or Karen.

• He's not violent, but if you hurt his friends, sister , or girlfriend, there's a chance he'll kill you, but a guarantee he'll break at least one of your bones.

• Kenny has died 1,600 times so far. 1,473 if you exclude the 127 times he died before the age of 10.

• He keeps a positive attitude because he's terrified of becoming a miserable abusive drunk like his father. Also, it takes a lot to really get him pissed off. He has a high tolerance for bullshit.

• Humans are 75% water; Kenny is 75% mango Arizona

• He makes incredibly gross (but funny) sex jokes

• He listens to every genre of music. His main favorite artists are lil peep, eminem, outkast, smash mouth, and green day

• His favorite movie is shrek 2 (he loves the entire series).

• Kenny was born in Texas, hence why his mom and brother have the accent, but they moved a year later after authorities found out about Stuart's "relationship" to the underage Carol.

• He works at McDonalds as a dishwasher in the daytime (like mother, like son)

• He bounces between jobs a lot, but he makes it a rule to never be unemployed for more than a month

• He mostly eats blue Taki's and Sour Patch Kids

• He's amazing at art. He spends a lot of time sketching (mostly anime characters or porn). He's drawn on his and Stan's converse.

• He also gives everyone piercings and tattoos including himself.

• He does track in High-school. He's used to running for his life so he's pretty fast.

• He's covered in scars, bruises, and cuts. Since nobody remembers his deaths, he has to make up some lie for anyone who asks, so he doesn't seem crazy by saying "Oh I fell off a bridge yesterday." Usually, he just keeps his shirt on to avoid questions.

• He gets pretty decent grade. Bs and Cs sometimes an A. He's not dumb but he has ADHD so he zones out a lot and isn't great at focusing.

• Kenny has a special drawer that he keeps all of Karen's gifts, cards, and paintings in.

• Eventually told Karen he was Mysterion. He retired the costume but keeps it around just for the nostalgia.

• Kenny's skinny due to him not being able to afford food, but he's still pretty strong.

• He hangs out with the goth kids and tells them stories about his deaths.

Yall Carol is literally 26, Stuart is 42, their oldest son is 13 💀💀💀

but also Kenny is the best. I love him. 🫶

[fandomfluffandfuck]

https://www.tumblr.com/fandomfluffandfuck/760383227115536384?source=share

YOU HAVE TO WRITE MORE. PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

the original link goes to my tags on this post here, but... I think you'd be more interested in this other iteration, lol, so I'm linking that one, too.

I have no idea what to add, though... like, no thoughts, just depraved mental images of Steve and Bucky fucking hard 🥴🥴

I do think about Steve getting fucked in his uniform often, though. I can't help myself. Especially the stealth suit, y'know? Like, okay, it's just a hot suit, but pulling that thread, he stole the red white and blue combat uniform from the museum, specifically to help jog Bucky's memories.

However.

The stealth suit was still a big fucking part of CA:TWS to me.

And I just feel like as Bucky was piecing his memories back together--finding out who he was again and being pursued so fucking heavily by this big man in his kevlar-swathed suit, all dark navy and secretive, containing his large but lithe form so well, nearly a damn catsuit--that suit definitely ended up being a part of some harsh, fast, forbidden feeling fucks.

With Steve on the run, sometimes hitting up safe houses or sometimes random ass hotel rooms, but always with Bucky lurking just around the corner, slipping in the window or lingering in the woods around back... yeah. There were definitely times that Sam was out collecting supplies, or Nat was running ahead to meet with her elusive contact, leaving Steve alone and raw feeling. Then, stumbling into Bucky and clinging to him while Bucky took to him like a desperate, wild animal. Defiling him in that suit. Both suits. Stealth and flashy red, white, and blue. But especially the stealth suit. Because the vaguely familiar suit had Bucky feeling a little gentler. He knows this man. He does. He had this man before. He was precious to whoever James Barnes was. But the stealth suit... that's a stranger. That doesn't belong to James Barnes or anyone, and whoever the soldier is, whoever he is now nameless and drifting, he desperately wants to own that stranger.

He's beautiful. And it's a fucking problem. He is drawn to him helplessly. Recklessly. Blue eyes. Mused blonde hair. Plush, pink lips (especially that bottom one, lord have mercy). He's big and set and stubborn. His jaw square, shoulders huge, and waist tiny. Yet, when he touches him, grabbing harsh and rough, reckless, and cut-loose, he crumbles as if he isn't anywhere near as strong as he looks.

Whimpering and crying out beneath him, begging wordlessly for more. Anything he could dare to give him, he wants. Hands biting into his waist, digging into his hips, collaring his throat; lips on his lips, lips around his pert, pink nipples, too sweet for such a large, heavy-set chest, lips on his weeping cock; dick shoved deep into his tight, drooling mouth, dick squeezed between his thick, quivering, somehow hairless thighs, pale and untouched, dick carving itself into his body, fighting to find room in such a tight, hungry hole.

It's feral. That's what it is. Feral, unchecked lust and strength that can only be found in the sheer desperation of two lovers who thought they lost each other forever and know each other so viscerally yet have been so ripped apart. It's the ferality of mine. Mine. Mine. Clawing at each other, moaning and shaking and crying.

It gets to the point, Bucky taking out those feelings he can't remember and can't name on an all too willing, sexually frustrated Steve, that Steve can't, even years later, put on the stealth suit without having a Pavlovian response to it. He slips into it, and, oops, his blood immediately turns thick and slow and hot, boiling in his veins, craving the language of teeth and nails and harsh grinding, hips against his ass, so deep in him he can taste it.

[askew-d]

Can I ask, who are your top favorite romantic couples (can be canon or non canon) of all time from any media? Why you love them? Thx :D

here i go with another grand list that i was very happy to write! i’m in love with these asks, really. i’ll mention all of them, but at first i was in doubt if i could include one that isn’t ‘canon’, but rather rpf. either way, i added bonus couples for good reasoning! let’s go.

1. wangxian (lan wangji x wei wuxian), from mo dao zu shi — they are THE moment, they are THE couple, they are THE goals. who ever could have imagined someone would come up and write a troublemaker who falls into demonic arts and gets reincarnated to fight together with a sucker-for-rules expressionless man and make it work? they fit into any au as well, this fandom rocks. my lovely cultivators!

2. kagehina (kageyama tobio x hinata shouyou), from haikyuu!! — i dont even play volleyball. i dont even like sports! why do i love this anime and this duo specifically so much? they are so passionate about their hobbies, the rivalry and frenemy relationship? the POTENTIAL. the STORY they have. the "someone better will come and find you" promise. sheer beauty. they are silly and fresh and cute and i dont think i'll ever get tired of it.

3. yizhan (wang yibo x xiao zhan), from the untamed cast rpf — i know all the problematics about writing real person fiction. i KNOW, okay?? but people, let me like them and support them in peace?? 😔 i have so much love for these men, and its overall hella fun following their life unfold, even if they are not working together anymore. nonetheless, they are my dose of serotonin when i need it.

4. daiharu (kambe daisuke x katou haru), from fugou keiji: balance unlimited — i will not scream for a seson 2 here. i will scream for more FICS of them here! there ain't enough! its not even about the 'sugar daddy' appeal, its more about the 'partners in (solving) crime' appeal. oh and also the 'i hate you you arrogant prick but i WILL do anything for you' part. everything and every detail of this show.... seriously though: gold.

5. hilson (gregory house x james wilson), from house m.d — oh, my sweet stupid and repressed doctors, i would do unspeakable things for you. wilson has been through every hard moment of house's life. you can name them, he's been there. through every ridiculous situation of his too. it is overwhelming, honestly. the ending couldn't have been more reasonable and fitting for them, in my opinion.

6. hannigram (hannibal lecter x will graham), from hannibal — this gif alone of them with scratches and smiling conspiratorily to each other sums up their entire dynamic. they're toxic and no one's doing it like them. like, yeah, no shit, who would even dare, right? murder husbands can do anything and eat the rude as much as they want, i will be sipping on my drink and watching intently. (man truly looked at this detective he framed for murder and said he would remember their moment together forever??? just dont throw him in jail then???)

7. shiguang (lu guang x cheng xiaoshi), from link click — these pretty boys traveling through time invented the concept of yearning, and i will not explain more to not give season 2 spoilers. i fell in love with them as soon as i saw the first shot of the anime. it doesnt help that they have the same dynamic as wangxian, too. cheng xiaoshi, my beloved, you would never do anything to harm anyone (not purposefully) and i (as well as lu guang) worship you 🙏

8. renga (hasegawa langa x kyan reki), from sk8: the infinity — let's be true tho, can they never do a sports anime without pulling up homosexuals?? not that im complaining at all. please continue, in fact. every couple in this story is valid (adam does not exist), and i love this spirited, young concept of redescovering the beauty of a hobbie. lovely, all of them, but most specially my langa and his admiration for reki. their dynamic has no complications, its just so sweet.

9. moshang (mobei jun x shang qinghua), from the scum villain self-saving system — i will not share a pic of moshang official art because i find shang qinghua appearence too much childlike and annoying, meanwhile i find him much more interesting in the book and fanarts. in any case, i love this couple more than the main couple simply because our airplane-bro can make everything so hilarious. there are fics of them out there which are peak entertainment (check this one!). mobei's tsundere attitude and shang qinghua's shamelessness are a great combo.

10. hualing (hua cheng x xie lian), from heaven official’s blessing — the longing is unbearable. hua cheng loves this man so much, for real. waiting 800 fucking years?? being his most devoted believer? can you believe the audacity?? my man, though he has low self-steem, does anything to protect his god. he doesnt care about any realm. he only cares for xie lian, his dear god. they are the cutest couple.

bonus: aziracrow, johnlock, tododeku, victuuri, blackbonnet, mafuyama, redblue (from this is how you lose the time war).

these are my favorite ships ever! they are what i scream about alternatively, and when i say so, i'm not joking. one week i'm freaking out over new link click content and in the other one i'm reviewing house m.d episodes. my life's a circle with my favorite ships in it and i ain't regretting anything.

thank you for asking, by the way! big hugs! 🤍

[not-poignant]

If that's how much Gary loses it with just efnisien's sub-larentins, how does Augus handle being with omegas in full heat all the time? Or is Augus just more accustomed to it and is just like Gary this so embarrassing for you 🤭 one whiff of larentin and you can't make sentences 🤭

OR is it with an omega in heat and a peak alpha that's its just. Full animal going at it from both of them?

It's definitely not just the sub-larentins! Efnisien wasn't even in heat, and we've seen Gary react to Efnisien in (a partial) heat and he wasn't out of control, but he did grow increasingly uh, invested, or maybe aroused by Efnisien the more time he spent with him, and the more he came to interact with him sensually/sexually.

Gary's not attracted to omegas, and he can suppress his reaction to omegas when they're in heat. We also know that he can have this intense reaction to alphas, which is why James only agreed to having penetrative sex with him less than a handful of times a year. So it's definitely not just a 'sub-larentin' thing, though I think that played into why things lasted so long, Gary could always go into that feral headspace because he literally warns Efnisien over and over again what he's like, because of his experience with alphas. Which is important to remember! Gary hasn't been that intense before, but that doesn't mean he isn't intense, because that's what he's been trying to prepare Efnisien for mentally for some time, from the size training, to other things, to kind of give him a 'hey, don't fuck around with peak alphas, I mean it' heads up.

But Gary didn't know that he could fuck for three days straight, and that's where I think the sub-larentins had a partial (but definitely not full) influence.

how does Augus handle being with omegas in full heat all the time?

Most peak alphas (including Gary) don't react to omegas in heat the way most alphas do. Most peak alphas aren't attracted to omegas at all (in fact many aren't attracted to anyone, they're attracted to power), so Augus doesn't have the same issues that some alphas do if an omega goes into heat (he has other issues, but that's a whole other thing).

Tbh in this world it'd be more like 'that's embarrassing for Augus' re: how he's able to be so in control all the time. He's considered on the weaker end of the peak alpha perspective. (If Temsen and Gary are at a 90/100, Augus is at a 20/100 for power, lmao, kind of like of the alphas, Janusz is on the lower end and Caleb is on the higher for power).

Augus is very good at sublimating his instincts into BDSM, but he's really quite atypical and is the only peak alpha companion in the world because of it. A meaner peak alpha would probably call that a skill issue, lmao.

But we also haven't seen Augus with an omega during their heat. We don't know how he's affected. We can't draw any conclusions about it, especially since alphas are meant to fuck omegas for days without stopping during a heat, because that's like...part of the responsibility of taking care of an omega. So if he can do that and is invested in doing that, he's just being normal.

But yeah no, Efnisien wasn't in heat! He wasn't making more sub-larentins than normal. So whole 'one whiff of larentin' isn't why Gary couldn't make sentences. That had nothing to do with it. Gary was like this before with alphas who don't make sub-larentins. It was the length/intensity on top of everything he doesn't expect, but he memory loss, the lack of ability to form sentences etc. that's all normal for him. That's peak alphas being in the haze of utterly destroying/dominating someone, and that is something they very much enjoy (if they're attracted to anyone at all) with alphas.

OR is it with an omega in heat and a peak alpha that's its just.

Efnisien was never in heat for this! Efnisien wasn't in heat, didn't "need" sex, wasn't producing more hormones for sex. He was just, in that moment, a regular alpha who was curious about having penetrative sex for the first time.

We can see Gary's reaction at least to a partial heat earlier in the story, and it's very different, so we know he doesn't lose control of himself / and can still make full sentences when Efnisien's in that state.

[siriusblack-the-third]

Sweatshirt

Sirius wants to die.

Or lick James' abs. Either one works.

James stands across the common room, a slight grin on his face and a tumbler of Firewhiskey in his hands, talking to Marlene, the other Beater on the team. Gryffindor just won the match against Slytherin; the party is in full swing, and James, as the captain of the team, came dressed to impress. Low rise black jeans that belong to Sirius hug his thick thighs like a second skin, and the diamond studs in his ears were a gift from Sirius for his seventeenth birthday. The hair is surprisingly kind of tamed today, and the kajal lines his eyes as it always does. The pièce de résistance, however, is the sweatshirt.

It is a Quidditch sweatshirt, bright crimson with glittering gold lettering on both the front and the back.

04 BLACK.

The red thing hangs a little loose on James' tall, lean frame because it belongs to Sirius and despite their similar height, Sirius is a lot bulkier than James is, courtesy of whacking at heavy iron bludgers with a metal bat for hours on end. It slides down James' shoulder to show off a protruding collarbone, and Sirius suddenly wants to bite down there, to stake his claim, to let the world know that James is his. Has been his since the day they met on the King's Cross platform, and will be his till and beyond death.

That, however, is not the most important aspect of the sweatshirt.

No, the most important aspect, is that James cropped the sweatshirt.

The red cloth ends right above James' lowest rib, hugging his waist snugly and showing off his slim hips and the abs that he usually hides under pressed shirts and comfortable knit sweaters. It also shows off James' belly button piercing.

Sirius needs to get his brain back to rights.

It was bad enough when James stumbled in through the dorm door three nights ago, giggly and flushed with excitement about his new piercing, but now he is showing it off. He is swinging his trim hips left and right, making the green jewel sparkle in the warm golden light of the common room against his tanned skin, attracting the attention of literally everyone in the Gryffindor tower. No one can take their eyes off of James despite the raging party, and Sirius is no better than the rest of them.

It does not escape his notice that almost everything James is wearing is his. His jeans, the earrings gifted by him, his sweatshirt with his name and number.

Sirius is pushing off the wall and halfway across the common room towards James before he realises what he is doing, but it is too late to change his trajectory, and he slides into the little space next to his boyfriend. When he presses a hand to James' lower back, the skin there is hot to the touch, and the tip of his thumb brushes against the soft fabric of James' sweatshirt.

His sweatshirt.

"Jamie," he says slowly, like he's trying not to spook a cowering animal, except if anyone is about to lose their mind it is Sirius himself. "Mon beau, what are you wearing?"

James ducks his head and looks up at him through long eyelashes, the wide, kajal lined hazel eyes and impossibly cute shy smile completely at odds with the rest of him.

Fuck. Sirius wants to die.

No, he thinks suddenly. What Sirius wants, is to mark James up. He wants James to wear his clothes, show off his gifts, wear piercings he gifted him. He wants to sink his teeth into James' neck, collarbones, abs, hips, thighs and he wants James to show those off too.

He wants to tell the world that James is his.

"Your sweatshirt," James says blithely, and Sirius has to grapple with his own mind for a second to remember what question he had asked. "Don't you like it?"

Is that even a question?

Sirius stares at James, eyes slowly sliding up from his red converse to the stretch of black denim over his thighs to the low waistline hugging his hips and accentuating his V to the emerald piercing in the centre of defined abs to the gold 04 BLACK to the peeking collarbone. When he locks eyes with James, both of them have flushes high on their cheeks.

"Oui," Sirius whispers hoarsely after he finds his voice. He clears his throat, and tries to remember his English. "Oui, je– yes, I like it."

.

.

.

Inspired by this

Tag list:

@padfootastic @in-flvx @narcissa-black-supermacy @xxmysticrose18 @gracelesslady23 @ghostie-06 @ad1thi

[colourful-void]

Okay please fact check me on this, bcs it's just like a vague memory of mine but:

A while ago I used to watch James Somerton pretty consistently, but I stopped after getting the impression that he didn't watch the shows (particularly anime) he was talking about. He still had me fooled, i thought he just did a lot of research, but regardless, not the point.

In one of his videos, I believe about Sk8 and queercoding, he has a small section where he talks about Pokemon, and mentions like, a lack of gay people in the games or something. This was the last video of his i ever watched. There is however like, one line where he says something about "the anime has no problem showing queer characters" and then there's footage of Ash and Goh. Like specfically I think it was the Gulpin scene.

At the time i thought it was like, a nod to how it can be interpreted, like queercoding and stuff but like. Now i'm not sure, does he think they're canon? ????

Top Questions: - How did he find out about Satogou anyway we're not that popular, - Is that footage also from an amv - does he know. they're not canon. - it might've been a mere moment but im not ruling out that that was plagiarized too, so if it was who did he take that from.

the videos were still deleted last i checked, but if anyone knows where that particular section comes from or remembers watching this lemme know bcs i cant stop thinkin about it.

[hail-ey-m]

кαтѕυкι вαкυgσυ—ιη¢σяяє¢т qυσтєѕ

Relationship: up to reader

!!TW: A good bit of cursing (it’s Bakugou what’d you expect) mentions alcohol, mentions murder for satirical purposes!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Y/n: What is your biggest weakness?

Bakugou: I can be uncooperative.

Y/n: Okay, can you give me an example?

Bakugou: No.

Y/n: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...

Bakugou: You would eat yourself?

Y/n: I wouldn’t even question it.

Y/n: Hey Bakugou can I get a sip of your water?

Bakugou: It's not water.

Y/n: Vodka, I like your style!

Bakugou: It's vinegar.

Y/n: Wh-Wha-

Bakugou: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Y/n: Top 30 reasons why Bakugou is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Bakugou: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

Bakugou: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Y/n: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Bakugou: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Y/n: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Bakugou: No! Four to five seconds!

Y/n: Too late!!!

Y/n: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Bakugou: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Y/n: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Bakugou: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

*Y/n and Bakugou skipping stones on lake*

Y/n: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Bakugou, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Bakugou: You're right.

Y/n: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Bakugou: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Bakugou: I prevented a murder today.

Y/n: Really? How’d you do that?

Bakugou: self control.

Bakugou: So what’s for dinner?

Y/n, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Bakugou: You love me, right, Y/n?

Y/n: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Y/n: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Bakugou: What's that?

Y/n: Remorse code.

Bakugou: I'm even angrier now.

Bakugou: I'm 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?

Y/n: It means you were second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Bakugou: but what’s the first worst thing?

*Awkward pause*

Y/n: Bakugou, they...they weren’t always orphans.

Bakugou:

Y/n: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Bakugou: Stop romanticizing the past.

Y/n: Am I in trouble?

Bakugou: Take a guess.

Y/n: No?

Bakugou: Take another guess.

Y/n, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!

Bakugou: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,

Bakugou: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!

Y/n, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Bakugou: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!

Bakugou: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND

Y/n, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

© 2023 Shiggy | All Rights Reserved | No portion of this work may be used or adapted in any way without the author's explicit consent.

[scrybe-of-death]

FRANTIC FANFICS

TITLE: For the funny (is this even for all ages??) FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: sun, gnagle WRITERS: elsie, xeya, tailsbot RATED ALL AGES

One day, Gnaggagngle and Sun decide to go to therapy. Unfortunately for them, the only available therapist is Ragatha, who immediately has a mental breakdown because girlie needs help.

This now turns to Gangle, Sun, and Ragatha all crying together, doing pure crack as they did so. Wh.. do I even want to know?

Anyway, Sun then flared and died, falling facedown onto the table in front of them.

So now a high Gangle and a high Ragatha are next to a dead body.

"wow, that sure did happen, im still depresed" says Gnangel "Lets go kill Jax, for the funny!" ragatha exclaimed "For the funny!" gangle replied

so then the two went and found jax, who was chilling in a t pose as one does "Jax we here to kill you" said gagnle "No u" says Jax 'oh ok" replies ragatha, as both her and gnglea do the family guy death pose and die.

"wow! they had crack on them!" says Jax "im gonna do the crack, and then ill blow up Mars!" Jax proceeded to do the crack, and blew up mars

Jax then proceeded to become the new tumblr secymand

TITLE: Gangle's Secret love FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: gangle, james/mask WRITERS: gummy, tailsbot, xeya RATED ALL AGES Gangle and Mask were at a cafe, waiting on their order. Gangle had been showing off her sketchbook to Mask, flipping through pages, when suddenly Gangle remembered a particular sketch that was in there… Gangle was too late to snatch the sketchbook back, when Mask flipped the page. "What the hell is this?" He said incredulously. "NO NO NO NO NO!" Gangle screeched.

Unfortunately, all had been revealed…

as her life crumbled before her, she sat, watching the terror in masks face, as they witnessed the page. Her biggest secrets, shown to the world, now everyone would know that

Gangle drew herself, KISSING ZOOBLE!

Mask stared down at the BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIFYINGLY DETAILED DRAWING and slowly turned to look at Gangle. "Are you…" they began, their voice trembling… "…a homosexual?" Gangle profusely denied, but the truth was out. Gangle was gay for Zooble. "Gangle.. why didn't you tell anyone?!" "It was… sniffle… it was too much!!! I COULDN'T!!! ZOOBLE WOULD FIND OUT IM GAY FOR THEM!!!" Mask committed a hit and run on Gangle by smacking her upside the head with her sketchbook and ran over to Zooble. "GANGLE IS GAY FOR Y-" Mask was pulled backwards into the shadows by a mysterious ribboned force and was never seen again… Emerging from the shadows was Gangle! "Hello! Everything you just heard is WRONG." Gangle faded away.

"…What the f-"

TITLE: TOP TEN ANIME BATTLES: #1: SANS VS FREDDY FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: sans, five nigt fredy WRITERS: xeya, gummy, elsie RATED ALL AGES Sans was gearing up for battle against Freddy Fazbear. He shined his Gaster Blaster and FUCKING obliterated a dummy. (mad dummy)

Freddy Fazbear showed up in a full blown mechasuit.

What the fuck.

Sans chuckled as he brandished his weapon. "I know your sins, Freddy. This won't end well for you." Freddy chuckled. "you may be strong, but you're still just a skeleton. One hit and you're done. I know you have a limit. How fast can we reach it?" Sans's eyes narrowed, and he pulled a hand from his pocket, his fingertips glowing blue. The bell rang, and the battle began, Sans dodged Freddy's attacks left and right, shooting arrays of bones in every direction. Freddy was hit several times, but this old bear was strong, and resisted the damage enough to keep going. "You're bear-ly taking a hit, arentcha?" Sans, joked, winking. Freddy Fazbear ignored this, and kept swinging.

Sans kept dodging attacks, but wondered how long he could keep this up…

And then he realized Freddy’s weakness… He’s electronic. And Sans has a bucket of water from an old door prank…

SPLASH

It was done.

@zooooble @thecomicallytragicgangle we wrote shipfic about you by the way

[torukamacktoyu]

Recom Headcanons 4

Brown and Prager

Quaritch & Lyle • Zdinarsik & Walker • Ja & Lopez

Brown

Full Name: Alex Rafael Torres Brown

He/Him

Goes by Rafael or Raf.

Ecuadorian.

Best friend is Prager.

Keeps fucking up his back because he always forgets to lift with his knees.

A bit of a scaredy cat when he finds something gross. Mainly bugs with many legs and stuff that oozes.

First language is Spanish.

Tries to help when Lopez forgets what a word is in english, but struggles because Ecuadorian spanish is not the same as Mexican spanish. 

Tactile, takes it out on Prager because he knows that he doesn't mind.

Really likes dancing and is pretty good at it, but can only dance like dollar bills are being thrown.

Absolutely Loves getting his head scratched.

He and Prager accidentally made a secret handshake, as their greeting dap up just kept getting more and more convoluted.

Can play the guitar. 

An okay singer, but can never remember the full lyrics.

Would name his Ikran Dulzura(f), because she's a sweetie.

Dulzura, or Zuri as the Deja Blu nicknamed her, is absolutely a sweetie… for Brown. For everyone else she's a jealous, picky, bitey, hissing brat, that demands everyone stays at least two wing spans away from her and gets especially upset if another Ikran gets too close to Brown. 

Prager

Full Name: James Prager

He/Him

Goes by Jamie.

American.

Best friend is Brown

Likes asking absurd questions, weird hypotheticals, and impossible would you rathers. 

Does Yoga, regularly drags Ja into doing it with him. The other Recoms don't make fun of it, cause they got hassled into doing a routine with him one time and he absolutely kicked their asses.

Was very displeased with how stiff he was straight out of the Amino-tank. Being curled up in the foetal position while your muscles are artificially stimulated for muscle tone doesn't leave one feeling the most lithe or limber, who woulda guessed.

Amazing singer, doesn't often sing.

Was the eldest brother of eight and was very surprised by how directly the ability to corral rowdy kids translated to keeping tabs on his Squad and stopping them from burning their base down.

If it's nothing official and they're not on a mission, Quaritch has always told the squad that Prager is in charge when he leaves. The squad never fails to find Wainfleet's following pouting-session hilarious.

Knows how to massage, frequently massages Brown into a purring puddle.

Neutrally tactile. Only actively seeks it sometimes, but never turns away or rejects anyone else that comes to him for cuddles, friendly, reassuring, or comfortable touch.

Named his Ikran Nova(f)

Babies the heck out of Nova. Scritches and praise are available 24/7 for 'the most perfect Ikran in the galaxy'. Would also like to baby the other Recom's Ikrans, but not all of them enjoy it.

Really likes animals and animals really like him. Would pet a Palulukan, 70% chance the Palulukan would let him.

[t-the-ring-master]

Part 4 of my, T, crushes.

No one is safe. You get some from show’s this time around. Enjoy. Keep in mind, some of these were from when I was like 7-8.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧

Lemony Snicket(series of unfortunate events): ummmm…. Yeah I get a pass on this one right? Anyways, 10/10 show, would recommend.

Throk(httyd race to the edge): only after Fishlegs taught him how to court. Would not trust bro with my hand 🤣.

James Norrington(pirates of the Caribbean): yep, another one of these dudes. Not even he was safe. Specially in the 2nd movie.

Otto(Odd squad): does anyone even remember this show? C and I loved it. Our family knew by 4:00 you’d have to be off the Tv so we could watch. Kicked em off the whole day and skipped school when they did a marathon one time lol.

Big McIntosh(my little pony): yep, Sombra, now this dude. I actually only had a crush on him in the first 5 seasons until he started dating sugarbelle. I honestly preferred him with the teacher character.

Prince Eric(the little mermaid animated): I liked he had more time in the live action… but animated was cuter to me. Bro was chill.

Captain Barnacles(octonauts): seven year old me loved this dude.

Martin Kratt: pretty common but yeah.

Chris Kratt: yep-

Oscar(Odd squad): again, eight year old me loved this dude.

[magicmindless]

Yknow what gonna ask for skip hcs. If possible

A HC list but it’s just Skip

- Totally a dad type. Charming, levelheaded, all around a great guy

- Has a New York accent. “Ay I’m walkin’ ‘ere!” And all

- Never knew his birth parents. He’s been in an orphanage ever since he was a baby, and then later lived in a foster home until he was 18. Though he was never officially adopted by anyone his foster guardians were usually kind and took care of him well

- He got his RV from some guy on Craigslist (or what the Flipline equivalent is) who was giving it away practically for free. It wasn’t exactly in the best shape when he got it but a deep-cleaning, a few repairs, and some help from friends did the trick. He even managed to live in it for a couple of years before getting his apartment

- He’s always wanted children of his own, and even not being married he wanted to adopt children. He eventually adopted James and Mary when James was 7-8 and Mary was a toddler

- (If you don’t like the thought of them being family then we’ll just say they’re all friends and Skip is like a dad with his 2 dumb children in this case)

- Master on the grill. He can grill anything, steak, kabobs, you name it. He even grilled a watermelon once (it was awful, but he did it)

- Didn’t always know how to cook the way he does though. Back then he relied on mostly instant food or things he knew were easy to cook like hotdogs. He took cooking classes later in life though

- He can’t bake though. He can’t bake at all, his skill in baking is like the complete opposite of his cooking skills

- Not much of a sweets fan. He likes salty stuff

- Aside from tailgating, he also likes to drive his RV out of the city to go glamping. It’s a refreshing way to spend some time alone and away from the busy city life, just in nature and silence

- Extroverted introvert. He’s the type of guy who gets along with everyone and can be the life of any party, but he never overstays his welcome. He gets tired pretty easily and needs to take time to himself to properly recharge

- He really likes his naps. He works hard all day, so if he’s not hanging with his pals, watching tv at home, or taking care of Pastrami, he’s probably taking a nap. He’s like a grizzly bear (oh he also snores VERY loudly)

- Besides sports, he also likes watching sitcoms and comedy shows, action movies, and documentaries about kinda niche topics

- Speaking of Pastrami, Skip adopted Pastrami from an animal shelter long after Mary and James moved out. Pastrami was a pet rat abandoned by his previous owner and left in the streets of Oniontown. Skip felt bad for him, so he adopted him. Unexpectedly, their bond grew quickly, and now they are inseparable

- Pastrami is pretty attached to Skip. He’ll whine sometimes if Skip tries to go somewhere without him. Also, despite being blind, he has an excellent sense of smell so if they do somehow get separated then Pastrami can trace his scent to find him. He loves cuddling, though just be careful that he doesn’t try to crawl into your shirt (it’s happened before)

- Skip is thinking of getting another rat for Pastrami. Just as a little friend to keep him company when he couldn’t be around

- Used to volunteer at a library as story time reader and a tutor for kids and teens. He even tutored Allan when he used to live in Oniontown. When they met again for Mocharia, Skip recognized him which caught Allan by surprise as he didn’t remember him at all

- A popular guy in Oniontown. Pretty much everyone in the city knows his name and he’s respected by peers, even by Radlynn and Sarge Fan

- Though he’s usually nice, he’s been known to be snarky towards tourists. When he was talking to Koilee and she told him about her getting scammed he laughed right in her face about it, and still thinks she’s an idiot to this day. And when NuMarcus’ brick scam was going on he didn’t even bother to tell anyone they were wasting their money

- He was always a builder at heart. Back in his youth he used to hang out in Oniontown’s junkyard with his friends scavenging for stuff to make things with. A couple things they built were a tall platform they could climb on and even an incredibly janky go-kart out of scrap metal and spare parts. It wasn’t safe at all but it was fun

- The worst injury he’s ever had was when he drove the said janky go-kart down a hill of junk. He broke his arm so bad he had to get a metal rod inserted in for it to heal properly

- He likes the thought of being in a relationship and getting married, but isn’t totally sure about it. He’s had crushes but has never been on any real dates before. He doesn’t even know where to start when it comes to romance so he’s thinking of asking a friend when he’s ready

[rrain-writes]

“We’ll find away to fix this mess, together.” James promised, eyelashes kissing his own. “I swear.”

The golden collar fell to the ground, rubies reflecting the sunlight. To anyone else, it would be beautiful, but to Will, it was an ugly reminder of the person he longed to disconnect from.

James’ slender fingers gently touched his own neck, as if he could still feel the ghost of the collar choking him.

Then his eyes focused on the boy in front of him.

“Will?” He said, gently.

Will flinched involuntarily.

“James.” He whispered, hating how he felt like a cornered animal.

James smiled, and to Will it was brighter then the golden sun shining above a honey soaked meadow.

“Are you ok?” He asked, and Will could only see concern in his bright eyes.

“You don’t.. hate me?” He asked cautiously. “Or want to kill me?”

James’ eyebrows raised at this, like the question was absurd, then his gaze softened and he took a step forward.

A step towards Will.

“Of course not.” He whispered. “I could never hate you.”

Will felt a hysterical laugh bubble up inside of him, part amazement and part fear.

“Don’t you remember what I’ve done? My hands are stained with blood in both lives.”

“Don’t you remember? What the sun king did to you? What the light did to you?” James inquired.  He frowned at whatever he saw in Will’s expression. 

“Will.” He started. “No one was ever wholly good, or wholly bad. Both the light and the dark committed atrocities towards each other, but from what I remember,”

James was closer to Will now. When had he moved forward?

“Sarcean were only ever trying to protect his people.”

Will took note of how James said ‘Sarcean’ and ‘His people’. He treated Will and the Dark King as two different people.

“Explain the collar then. Explain what the Stewards-“

“History.” James interrupted. “Was written by the winners. And I don’t care about what might have occurred in our past lives anyway.”

“You should.”

James shook his head, blond hair swaying with the motion.

“Does it really matter? Because I know everything you have ever done for me, done for others. I’ve seen with my own eyes how much you care, Will.”

James’ hand rested gently on his cheek.

“And I love you.”

Those three words made Will’s breathing stop, made the world seem to spin. All he had ever longed for was love and approval from the people he called home, and here was James, saying those three words with so much sincerity there was no hint of a lie.

“I love you.” He repeated back to the golden boy, his lifeline.

“Will.” James breathed, like the broken boy in front of him was all he’d ever need. 

“James.” Will whispered, like he was standing on a precipice and James was the only thing stopping him from falling down.

“We’ll find away to fix this mess, together.” James swore, eyelashes kissing his own. “I swear.”