#does anyone know what im talking about lol
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monamipencil · 24 minutes ago
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this is my fav series. (yes i've said it a hundred time and i'll say it a hundred times more). i absolutely loved this ep lol, it was the right amount of lore with crack. their dynamics take me out everytime lmao. i love how you characterised all of them !! and ofc my fave parts below!!
“There's no room for but Y/n.” Seungcheol finally spoke, looking up. “Quest season is approaching and we cannot have a weak link on the team.”
??? weren't you trying to kiss her just yesterday ???
“Are you keeping tabs on me, newbie?” Mingyu bent down, smirking at you. “Can I consider you interested?”  “Your schedules are on the white board genius.” You rolled your eyes, letting him go and pointing at it. “We need to talk.” 
smh, the realities of living with 13 men
“The house Gyu, my house. I have a final plan for it.” 
THE HOUSE, YOU IDIOT
“I was bored and jerked off.” Soonyoung washed up his bowl, shaking the water off his hands. “It was a good one.”
?? uhm, thanks for the save ig (he's a sweetie pie)
Or could they? Because Jihoon was yet again looking at you like he knew everything
when does he not? i love his lil character lmao
“Though if those are your concerns, you can move into my house. I live close to the Great hall and I have a loft - you won’t have any issues there.” Oh no. No no. You weren't about to fall from the frying pan into the fire. 
lmao, frying pan into fire–also like yk gyu is like the son of hephaestus and fire and ikyk. I love your writing skills mia!!
you had in fact, caught him butt naked.
uh? asdfghjkl
He simply grabbed a towel, wrapped himself and walked straight past you into the locker rooms like you didn't even exist,
LMFAOOO
“For someone who is the daughter of Hestia, hospitality isn't really your trait is it? 
thanks ig
He leaned back with a small smile. “I don’t read people’s minds but their bodies. I can tell when one is sick, or hungry….or even horny.” 
ah yes, cough cough mr. healer, i feel very sick, will you please check ^3^
 it’s different and my guess is it has something to do with being Hestia’s daughter.” 
im very invested in this lore btw. It’s just itches my brain the right away :))
 Sighing, Jihoon sat down beside you. “You can’t allow yourself to be governed by emotions Y/n. You are the result of a God’s lack of resistance to impulses - those who sit in Olympus have their own flaws. If you run your whole life seeking their validation, you will keep running. They will keep you running.”
that got deep real quick. And also a very good life advice. Ngl, i kept thinking about this line
 “Funny that a man who pairs socks with sandals is judging me about my outfit.” 
that is so foul, choi seungcheol. wth, he is a man afterall
“Can I ride with you?” You turned to Mingyu, looking at him just a little pleadingly. 
well my friend over here actually meant to ask if she can ride yo-
“I’ve been to funerals better than this.” 
help??? lmaoo
“Maybe because it’s an illegal blend?” Seokmin shrugged before realising what he had let slip. “You cannot tell anyone. Everyone in camp will kill him and Soonyoung will resurrect and kill me.” 
lmao, very characteristic of seokmin to say shit he’s not supposed to
Soonyoung laughed, nonchalantly wiping the cream at the edge of your lips with his thumb.
what are we soonyoung?
Though you didn't have the intention of continuing anything at all with Soonyoung, something about being interrupted this way stung differently. 
... that rly did sting
She looked away, pretending like she was thinking before turning back to him with a smirk. “Yes, I do. I didn't wear any underwear today.” 
nahhh. woman, trust me, i dont wanna know any of that
He doesn't really care for them because he knows it's a mere chemical attraction thanks to his dad. 
for some reason “mere chemical attraction thanks to his dad” is tickling my funny bone more than it should. But still lmao
Joshua? You frowned. How could he be anything but a sweetheart? Soonyoung’s girlfriend maybe was an obnoxious toad but not Joshua. He was flawless. 
LMFAO?? TOAD??
Minghao’s eyes darkened as he looked at you wordlessly. Strangely, you felt something shift inside you too - oh god he was right.
clears throat WHY IS EVERYONE SO HORN—nvm this is an aphrodite rager
“No.” Minghao shook his head, silencing the voices behind him as he slid his bracelet off his wrist and hooked it to the door handle, eyes not leaving you even once. “Get in.” 
i–yes
“I'll owe you one.” You sighed. “Whenever, wherever, please Minghao….” “Remember those words.” He whispered, his hand snaking around your waist to unbutton your shorts, fingers lingering over your skin. 
😌😌😌
“Good boy.”
sub soonyoung, anyday, anytime, anyplace, everywhe–
Except deep down you knew it must mean something if despite being drugged Soonyoung rejected his girlfriend because of you and Minghao who was a man of impeccable self control was crumbling for you. 
... yes
“Bold of you to assume this is my first time.” Soonyoung smirked as he sucked off Minghao's fingers and you grinned to yourself. Atta boy. 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“That’s my good girl.” “Xu Mingao.” Soonyoung groaned as the other man drew back. “What the hell?!”  Minghao simply chuckled. “You know how much I enjoy pain.”
GOOD GIRL?!? I ENJOY PAIN?!?!?
“Didn’t you say you could watch her all day?” He smirked at the older man, hand snaking around your waist. “Now watch.” 
cocky minghao is doing smthn to me
You simply stared wordlessly, as the blonde man's eyes found you, flickering from the jacket you had donned, to Soonyoung's hand which was still holding yours.  Behind him lightning cracked opened the sky and rain began pouring furiously. 
well fuck you too seungcheol. ngl, i giggled like hell reading the last line
Camp Seventeen: Chapter 2
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Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13 (Soonyoung x reader x Minghao)
Word count - 13K
Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut, fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up!
Previous chapter
Chapter summary - As you delve deeper into the world of the demigods, a party throws you spiraling down a road less taken. While it seems there's one member who may be able to help you with it, there's another you want to lend a hand to. And more.
A/n - I do have a taglist so comment on this post to be added! And if you enjoyed reading, please don't forget to leave feedback in the comments or tags - we've got lots of chapters to go and hearing thoughts really helps <3
Smut warnings - I'm trying this thing where I won't be adding any detailed warnings as of now now, I will be including them after 1 week instead! I'm trying to keep the suspense for those who are interested but I understand there might be some of you who are wary of reading certain things - I will be adding warnings for your sake in a week's time! (There are no trigger warnings for this fic though!)
(edited) - Sexual tension phew, fingering (f.receiving), male masturbation, oral (m.receiving), threesome, sub-ish Soonyoung, dom Minghao, slight mlm? (feeding her cum), couple of spanks, unprotected sex (plis refrain), they're kinda rough - she's struggling to breathe, Minghao is mean and a bit of a sadist, deepthroating, edging, marking, hickies, sloppy seconds, they both finish inside her, I think that's about it?
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Today you slept with both the windows and the curtains closed. 
Not just Seungcheol's eagle, even the late morning sun couldn't wake you up, leading to you casually strolling into the dining hall, late in the day. As you walked in, still dressed in your pajamas, twelve heads turned towards you, following your every step. 
Seokmin turned towards Seungcheol who's gaze was fixed on his food, like it was adamant not to meet yours. Hesitating, the former cleared his throat, taking one for the team, questioning you instead.
“You uh….didn't come to train today.”
“Yes, I didn’t.” 
Walking in, you grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and sat as far away from Seungcheol as possible. If anyone noticed the hostility between the two of you, they didn't say anything. Seokmin looked at you like he was expecting to hear more - then he realised that was all you had for an answer. 
“Why didn't you…...” 
“I got wet in the rain last night.” You munched on your fruit. “Felt sick in the morning.” 
A part of you expected at least one of them to have the decency to ask you how you were doing now but all the boys simply exchanged looks. As you frowned at them confused, Joshua finally looked at you. “Demigods don't fall sick Y/n.” 
You blinked. “What?” 
“We're half gods, so uh…. stuff like bacteria and viruses don't really have an effect against us.” 
Suddenly, at that point, the last 25 years of your life made a little more sense - you realised you hadn't ever fallen sick. You also realised that last weekend when you offered to watch a movie with Seungcheol because the two of you were alone in the house, he had declined, stating he had a cold and didn't want to pass it on. 
Of course he lied. All that man did was lie. 
Scoffing, you shook your head. “Of course we don't.”
“Is there a problem?” Minghao narrowed his eyes at you conspicuously. “Any particular reason you couldn't or didn't want to come?” 
Sighing, you shook your head. “It's just been hard getting used to things, I'm trying but-” 
“There's no room for but Y/n.” Seungcheol finally spoke, looking up. “Quest season is approaching and we cannot have a weak link on the team.” 
“Cheol.” Jeonghan cautioned, looking at him just a little sternly. “Enough.” 
Seungcheol stared back at Jeonghan like he wanted to retort but when the latter shook his head at him, he got up, throwing his plate into the sink a lot louder than anyone had expected. 
If Chan hadn’t muttered that the cab was ready to leave, you would have exploded - how dare he? He was the one who hinted at something more last night and he was the one who had left you in the middle of the storm so why was he behaving like this was your fault?? But before you could say anything, Seungcheol and the members going for morning shifts grabbed their things and set out for the day, unusually quietly. As Mingyu began to follow the crowd, you held him by his wrist, 
“Where are you going? You don’t have work today?” 
“Are you keeping tabs on me, newbie?” Mingyu bent down, smirking at you. “Can I consider you interested?” 
“Your schedules are on the white board genius.” You rolled your eyes, letting him go and pointing at it. “We need to talk.” 
Mingyu frowned, both confused and curious. 
“The house Gyu, my house. I have a final plan for it.” 
“Oh! Okay sure let’s go-” 
“Wait.” Joshua stood up shaking his head. “I don't know what's going on with you Y/n, but unlike Cheol, I cannot walk away from what I am responsible for in this camp. You're going to put that fruit down-” He pointed at the plum you just reached for. “-go shower, have a full breakfast and then you can sit with Mingyu and finalise whatever you have to.” 
“But Shua-” 
“No.” He said in a tone that you knew meant that this was not open for any more discussion as he turned towards the man who was stuffing his face with cereal. “And Kwon Soonyoung, why are your sheets still in the dryer?” 
Oh fuck. 
Soonyoung looked at you confused - you had completely forgotten about that.
“I uh couldn't carry them back in the rain last night.” He muttered, drinking the last of his milk straight from the bowl, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I'll take them now.” 
“Why did you need to wash your sheets in the middle of the night?” Hansol frowned at the man beside him sceptical and Soonyoung glanced at you but you were suddenly deeply interested in some random crack on the table surface. 
“I was bored and jerked off.” Soonyoung washed up his bowl, shaking the water off his hands. “It was a good one.”
Hansol groaned disgusted and you looked at Soonyoung scandalised as he shot you a cheeky wink before disappearing out of the hall. A part of you was kind of relieved - you were worried after last night, especially considering what he said as you were leaving. Perhaps you heard it wrong because Soonyoung seemed just as relaxed as ever, like nothing had changed. 
You were thankful for that - now things could go back to like they were before. 
Or could they? Because Jihoon was yet again looking at you like he knew everything
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“This is your final plan?” 
“Yes.”
“Isn't this the first plan you had made?”
“Yes.”
“Y/n,” Mingyu groaned. “If you wanted to do this we could have finalised it days ago.” 
“I told you, I was confused about the whole bathroom situation.” You muttered, tracing mindless patterns over the floor plan. “Let's just make the residence alone. I'll adjust with the common showers.”
“We can still arrange to build a bathroom for you.” Joshua glanced at the papers. “Since we have to divert water pipes, it'll just take a little longer-” 
“No.” You gripped the pencil tight. “I don't want anything that takes a little longer. I want this house made as soon as possible so I can shift to my own space.” 
Your adamance was definitely new but neither boys commented on it. Instead Mingyu pulled out his phone and scrolled through clumsily.
“I need to place an order for the brick and cement and sure Chan has got a decently sized cab but it's going to take a couple of trips to bring the whole load.” He sighed, not looking up. “It's going to take a couple of weeks to get the house ready-”
“No, no no.” You shook your head. This couldn't be happening. “I need my own house as soon as possible, Mingyu….” You looked away rambling as both men frowned. “I'm in my final year, I've uh got projects and submissions to work on. The library isn't well lit enough to study all night and Seungcheol's house is too far from the charging station in the Great Hall, I can't keep making such long trips just to charge my laptop? What if it rains like last night again? What if all my stuff gets wet and-”
“Okay, okay, I get it.” Mingyu set his phone down and tried to calm you down. “Though if those are your concerns, you can move into my house. I live close to the Great hall and I have a loft - you won’t have any issues there.”
Oh no. No no. You weren't about to fall from the frying pan into the fire. 
“No Mingyu, what I need is my own space, like every other member of the camp.” You sighed. “And I know it's a lot to ask but I hope we can be done with it fast.” 
“I really wish I could help Y/n.” He looked at you pitifully. “You’re an architect, you know the kind of time it takes to build a house. Maybe if you had opted for something simpler, like a wooden cabin-” 
“Can you build that faster?” 
“I mean we do live in the middle of a forest and I do have automations to cut trees-” 
“How long will a wooden cabin take?”
“A few days.” Mingyu rubbed his chin in thought. “Provided it doesn't rain or-” 
“Do it.”
Both men looked surprised. 
“You're sure?” Joshua spoke up this time. “Wooden homes tend to feel colder, it would also be harder to-”
“I'm sure.” You nodded, gathering the sheets. “I'll have to make a few amendments to the layout then you can start. Meanwhile, why don't you go ahead now with the….. wood gathering?”
Mingyu nodded, stuffing his phone into his pocket, resting his face on his interlocked hands. 
“What're you waiting for Mingyu?” 
“Now as in right now??”
“Yes right now.” You looked at him like it was obvious. “Please.” 
Joshua nodded, signalling Mingyu to leave and grumbling, the bigger man left, much to your relief. Just a few more days. You could handle a few more days with Seungcheol, right? 
“You cannot.” Joshua turned to you. “You cannot survive with a group of people if you don't communicate Y/n. Do you want to tell me what's going on?”
You let out a deep breath considering it for a minute but then shook your head. “It's not worth discussing. I'll deal with it on my own.”
“Well you better do it fast because,” Joshua pulled out a sheet from his bag and slid it across the table to you. “Things are about to get a lot more hectic.”
You were too scared to extend your hand and reach for that paper. Good god, what else was in store for you. 
“Seokmin and Minghao are already covering physical training for you but being a demigod is so much more than just combat - you need to learn about this world, about its people, about the laws that govern it.” He looked at you apologetically. “I've drafted a schedule where the members will cover these different areas with you. Of course you will have time for your own obligations but you will also have to strictly adhere to the rest…..” 
Joshua's words trailed off as your eyes landed on the timetable and the names scribbled on them.
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You counted 12 names, all the members were scheduled to help you except- 
“Wonwoo.” You breathed out. “His name isn't….here?” 
“Yeah…” Joshua scratched the back of his head. “Wonwoo isn't really available for stuff like this, he's got other things to do….” 
Of course he did. He was a top secret government official, he did guard duty at night, he was working on your case too, you could understand that he was busy. 
But what you didn't understand was why he always ignored you. Even earlier when you popped into the showers forgetting that Wonwoo usually washed himself much after everyone, you had in fact, caught him butt naked. 
Any normal person would've covered himself up or at least responded to your small scream, quick turn and innumerable apologies but Wonwoo? He simply grabbed a towel, wrapped himself and walked straight past you into the locker rooms like you didn't even exist, the trademark scent of his perfume the only thing lingering behind. 
“Y/n where are you lost?” 
You shook your head. “I was just thinking about how the bath house would've been more efficient if the showers were attached to the locker room so we didn't have to walk so far in a towel to change.” 
Joshua looked at you like he didn't understand a word you were saying. Or why you were saying it. 
“It's just…. I'm just being an architect, don't bother.” You shook your head then the paper. “Thank you for this.”
“No worries.” He smiled sweetly, getting up, leaving you to your breakfast. “I see your first lesson is History of the Gods. Unfortunately I think Chan is busy with some delivery in the evening so, it'll be just you and Jihoon. I hope you'll attend the lesson earnestly.”
You nodded, giving him a hard smile. 
How were you supposed to last 2 hours with a man who read you like an open book? 
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The darkness behind your closed eyelids was supposed to be comforting. That's why you were lounging in your chair, half asleep while waiting for Jihoon to show up. But somehow, it felt like you were being watched and sure enough when you opened your eyes, the face of your instructor of the day was inches away from you.
“Jesus Christ Jihoon…” You sat up scrambling, pulling yourself away from him. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“You're tired.” He tucked his hands in his pockets walking back. “I was wondering if I should let you rest-” 
“I'm fine.” 
“-but it's strange considering you skipped training and slept all morning, yet you're incredibly sleep deprived.” Leaning back against the table he looked at you amused. “What might have happened last night that exhausted you so?” 
Words refused to leave your mouth considering you didn't know if he was teasing you or actually concerned. Given the last few days you assumed it was the former and ignored him as you began closing all the books you had strewn on the table before you. 
“I see you're doing pre reading.”
“Chan gave these to me before he left for work. He said I should read to understand better.” 
“Did you?” 
Of course you didn't. You were almost snoring away and Jihoon saw that, yet he asked the question like he wanted you to feel embarrassed about the answer. 
“I thought you were supposed to teach me.” You shut the last book and glared at him. “If you just expect me to just read off a book, I don’t see why you’re required here.” 
“Are you suggesting I leave my own class?” He raised his eyebrow amused. “I’m going to have to disappoint you but unlike some, I take what I’m told at camp seriously.” 
You glared at him like you were contemplating throwing the book straight at him and you almost did when he walked around the table, sat down on the chair and cocked his head at you. 
“For someone who is the daughter of Hestia, hospitality isn't really your trait is it?  
“How would I know, aren’t you supposed to be teaching me about this God stuff?” 
“I am.” He nodded, crossing his arms. “But it depends on how much the mortal world has already taught you.” 
“I’ve never really bothered myself with Greek mythology.” You rolled your eyes. “They’re just stories for bored children.” 
“Except they aren’t. They are your reality.” 
“Not by choice.” You mumbled. You did not wish to be an outcast in the only world you knew and thrown here. You did not wish for any of this. 
“Parentage is no one’s choice.” Jihoon sighed. “But to be a demigod is a gift. It’s a shame that you disregard your power.” 
“What power?” You scoffed. “I don’t have any….” Trailing off you gulped. 
That was a lie. 
“I am the Son of Apollo which means I was there at the Court of Delphi when the Oracle assigned you.” Jihoon reminded you of the fateful night.
The night when a couple of masked men had forcibly picked you from your dorm, throwing you into a large room of unknown people and a round crystal in the middle on an altar. No sooner than you took a scared, confused step forward it spoke - Daughter of Hestia, Camp Seventeen. 
“The Oracle only recognises those who have God's blood. So if you’re telling me you don’t have any powers and this is all a mistake, you must think I’m an idiot.” 
“If you’re so smart-” You narrowed your eyes at him. “-why don’t you do that mind reading thing you do and figure out what my powers are?”
“I can’t read minds Y/n,” Jihoon looked at you quizzically. “I’m not Athena’s progeny.” 
“Y-you can’t? But all these days…..” You blinked at him confused. “Oh my god, can Jeonghan??” 
He shook his head. “Neither can Jeonghan. Not all of Athena’s children are mind readers. I’ve only ever come across one in my life and if she wasn’t busy shuffling through everyone’s brain in the quest, perhaps she wouldn’t have been killed.” 
You opened your mouth and then shut it, unsure which of the hundred questions in your mind to ask first. 
“If you really must know, my father is the God of Medicine which makes me a natural healer.” He leaned back with a small smile. “I don’t read people’s minds but their bodies. I can tell when one is sick, or hungry….or even horny.” 
You gulped, feeling your heartbeat raise. Could he tell that too? 
“It goes without saying that a demigod's powers are associated with their parentage. So as the daughter of the Goddess of Hearth and Home, I’m assuming you have some sort of bond with fire.” 
Tightening your fists, you refused to meet his eye. 
It made sense why you never told anyone in the human world about your ability to create fire out of thin air but somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone in the demi-world either. 
You had seen the powers the boys had - Seokmin was the son of Posiedon, God of the Sea, but he couldn’t create water, only bend it. And Mingyu? His father was the literal God of Fire and even he was only immune to flames. 
But you, birthing fire from thin air? Something told you that even in the world of demigods, the world where you belonged, you were a freak.
“Or maybe I’m an architect because of you know, the ‘home’ bit.” 
“I don’t think so. Your college preference is pretty much just a personal interest.” 
“Then I guess I don’t have any powers.” You shrugged. “Maybe the Oracle made a mistake.” 
“The Oracle isn’t human. It never makes mistakes.” 
“Then maybe my powers are too insignificant for us to care. I mean think about it - what can the daughter of such a goddess have to offer? I most definitely don’t have anything of value.” 
Jihoon stared at you like he had too many thoughts. 
“Do you know the life cycle of a demigod?” 
You shook your head confused about where he was going with this.
“Not everyone born half breed inherits powers and even if they do, it is dormant until puberty. At the ages of 16 to 18, demigods are at their highest energies which gives them an aura that makes them instantly identifiable - the stronger their abilities, the stronger the aura. After they are picked either by their parents or our scout force, they’re taken to the Oracle who puts them in camp where they will be best suited to train and learn to harness their powers. If a demigod isn’t placed in camp by 18, you best believe that they are dead.” 
“Huh?” You blinked. “Why is that?” 
“Because either the inability to handle their own powers will kill them or in rare cases, monsters.” 
“M-monsters?” 
“There’s always good and bad in the world. Where you have gods, you have monsters too.” Jihoon opened one of the books to a page filled with sketches of the most gruesome creatures you’d ever seen. “Most of our predecessors have already locked up many of these in the Underworld but there are still some out there, lurking around. If they sense an aura and you aren’t trained for combat, you don’t stand a chance.” 
“So you think because I’ve managed to survive the last seven years, on my own and untrained, I am powerful?” You frowned. “Did you consider the fact that perhaps my aura was so weak no one could detect me?” 
“I did. That was my first assumption till the Oracle.” He leaned onto the table. “Even Gods have to touch the orb for a reading but your mere presence lit her up Y/n. Your aura isn’t weak, it’s different and my guess is it has something to do with being Hestia's daughter.” 
You hummed, trying to make sense of things. “Well, did the same thing happen with her other children?” 
Jihoon shook his head. “We don’t know. Unfortunately for us, there are no other known children of Hestia - you are the first ever.” 
You stared at him, letting the weight of his words sink in. 
“I’m her only child?” 
Jihoon nodded slowly. 
If that were true, the whole of last week made no sense. Ever since you had discovered the temple, you had been trying to reach out to your mother every other hour. You assumed she might have been busy or probably had too many places to be to tend to you, but to learn that you were her only progeny and she still didn’t care hurt differently. 
Scoffing sadly you shook your head. “What kind of mother doesn’t care about her only child?” 
“One who is not proud of her momentary lapse of judgement.” 
“What do you mean?” 
Jihoon sighed. “Hestia is one of the three virgin goddesses, along with Artemis and Athena. She’s not supposed to have any offspring, much less one with a human. If anything, you are a walking talking symbol of her weakness.” 
“I am her child-” 
“In theory.” Jihoon emphasised. “But in reality, you’re merely a fragment of her.” 
“I don’t understand.” 
“Humans and Gods don’t mix Y/n. Hell, even humans and demigods can’t.” 
“I’m aware.” 
Jihoon took a pause before he narrowed his eyes at you playfully. “Why and how are you aware of that?” 
“Irrelevant.” You brushed off. “But if what you’re saying is true, how can demigods even come to be?” 
“Because it’s not unlike even the Gods to succumb to lust. At any time they feel particularly attracted to a human they enchant their partners.” When you frowned like you didn’t understand, he sighed and continued. “Enchantment is what we call the process of gods…to crudely put it, possessing people. Taking over their bodies, controlling them.” 
Your jaw dropped. 
“You mean they possess one person to have sex with another???” 
“Well, sometimes it’s just sex but sometimes it is love. They stay on Earth for years together till the lesser gods aren’t able to handle things and they are forced to go back.” Jihoon got up, pacing around the room. “Demigods are born to two human parents who are completely unaware about what happened with them and what their child actually is.” 
“Wow” You breathed out dumbfounded. “You mean to say I have two parents in the Mortal world and one sitting in Olympus-” Jihoon nodded. “-and neither of them care about me?” 
Jihoon looked at you like you had given him more information than he asked for. 
“I can’t speak for your mortal parents but as far as Gods are concerned, they don’t really care about their half human children…… unless they are powerful.” He locked his arms behind his back. “Demigods train for years to become worthy of their parents' attention.” 
“So being a demigod isn’t really a gift after all.” 
Sighing, Jihoon sat down beside you. “You can’t allow yourself to be governed by emotions Y/n. You are the result of a God’s lack of resistance to impulses - those who sit in Olympus have their own flaws. If you run your whole life seeking their validation, you will keep running. They will keep you running.” 
“What do I do then?” You blinked at him lost. “I think I have more than one question I want to ask the woman because of whom my life is a mess. How do I get her to notice me?” 
“Play it smart. First, learn about our world and the things that shape it. Understand how Olympus works - what the God's weaknesses are, what ticks them off, what will bring them on your side.” He turned to you. “If you play your cards right, trust me, your mother will come looking for you in no time.”
Letting out a deep breath, you whispered hesitantly. “Will you teach me how?” 
Smiling in a way that made your stomach turn a lot differently than it used to for Jihoon before, he nodded. “I'd love to.” 
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You didn’t even realise when your supposed two hour session with Jihoon dragged on till after the sun had set. 
By the end of it, you had a book full of notes stuffed in your backpack and a head full of information that your instructor had filled. As you stepped out of the library building, Jihoon offered to walk you back to Seungcheol’s house given it was nightfall and as much as you wanted to continue talking to him, you politely refused. You weren’t ready to face that man just yet but just as you began walking towards the Great Hall to grab a snack or two, your eyes fell on Jeonghan and Seungcheol whispering away near the trees. 
As you skidded to a stop in your path, they turned towards you, both surprised and relieved by your presence. When you noticed Jeonghan nudge Seungcheol making him take a step towards you, you immediately walked back, knocking into someone behind you, earning a shriek. 
“Watch it rookie.” Seungkwan muttered as you apologised under your breath. From the corner of your eye, you noticed a couple of the guys standing fully dressed like they were headed out to a party. 
“Y/n.” Seungcheol took another step, trying to get your attention again. “We need to talk-” 
“I can’t,” You walked over to the boys, placing yourself right in the middle of the group. “I’m going out tonight.” 
“Dressed like that?” Seungcheol raised his eyebrows, looking up to down at a really old t-shirt you had donned over a pair of worn out shorts. 
“Funny that a man who pairs socks with sandals is judging me about my outfit.” 
Behind you the boys snickered, glancing down at Seungcheol’s feet. 
“That’s not my point-” 
“Can you drop my bag in my room?” You looked over the leader’s shoulder at his sidekick. “Since you love roaming around that house anyways.” 
Jeonghan caught the bag you threw to him, sighing as he swung it over his shoulder. 
“Well, that would make a total of eight of us..…” Seokmin looked around, doing a headcount. “Dino’s car can take us all but it will be a bit congested-” 
“I can take my bike.” Mingyu offered, running his hands through his hair. “It’ll be more convenient for you guys and-” 
“Can I ride with you?” You turned to Mingyu, looking at him just a little pleadingly. 
Even though you were on the way to a party, you weren’t in the mood to be stuffed in a small car with a bunch of guys right now - all you wanted was some air and space away from Seungcheol. 
Shooting you a small smirk, Mingyu nodded, just in time for his mechanical bull to jog over, modifying into a slick bike the moment it neared him. As he got on, you followed him, gripping his shoulders as you clambered on. 
“Hold tight.” 
Wrapping your arms around his waist, you glanced at the two boys left behind - Seungcheol’s jaw was tight and Jeonghan looked mildly curious, eyes darting where your body pressed up against Mingyu’s back. You could tell the normally cocky Mingyu did seem slightly tense under your touch, perhaps because you were not wearing a bra and he could feel everything very clearly. 
“Shall we?” He muttered, turning on the engine. 
Sighing, you nodded, a part of you well aware that tonight was most definitely going to be a long night. 
“Let’s go.” 
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“I’ve been to funerals better than this.” 
You muttered to Seokmin about fifteen minutes after reaching the house that the boys had brought you to for the night. Your expectation had been that of a frat party, one with pizzas and chips and dip and booze instead you were looking at a living room filled with pink balloons, rose gold streamers and french appetisers. 
“Wait till Soonyoung’s alcohol goes around.” Seokmin half giggled, grabbing a canape from the table. “Things always get so much fun after that.” 
You watched the man in question pulling out some bottles from his pockets, handing them over to some boys at the corner of the room. 
The moment Chan’s car had stopped at the location, all the boys had practically disappeared. Seungkwan headed over to a bunch of people Mingyu said were some of his very close friends. No sooner than he said that, he too disappeared as did Chan, Soonyoung and Mingao. The only ones who remained by your side were Seokmin and Joshua but just as you stepped into the house, a couple of girls pulled Joshua away, leaving you with your current company. 
“Why do I feel like something about Soonyoung’s alcohol is sketchy?” 
“Maybe because it’s an illegal blend?” Seokmin shrugged before realising what he had let slip. “You cannot tell anyone. Everyone in camp will kill him and Soonyoung will resurrect and kill me.” 
Laughing you shook your head, grabbing a cracker and topping it with brie, stomach rumbling due to the lack of dinner. 
“You don’t have to keep me company Seokmin.” You turned to the man who was sweet enough to stay by your side. “I don’t wanna ruin your night.” 
“It’s no big deal.” He muttered, putting himself between you and a drunk guy leaning over you to grab a drink from the table. “I know you don’t know anyone here-” 
“I’m not looking to socialise anyways.” You confessed, piling a bunch of stuff on your plate. “I’m just going to sit outside and grab a bite in, hopefully, some peace and quiet.” 
“Oh.” Seokmin looked a little upset, like he wanted to hang out with you but before you could tell him that you didn’t mind his company, Mingyu popped by out of nowhere, pulling his friend by the elbow and dragging him away excitedly. Chuckling, you got back to piling your plate. 
“You worked up an appetite.” 
You turned to see Soonyoung hovering behind you, hands tucked in his pocket. 
“Yeah….” You shoved a spoonful of cold but nevertheless tasty pasta salad into your mouth. “Apparently spending three hours learning about Greek gods can really drain you.” 
“Jihoon can be a bit intense with teaching.” Soonyoung laughed, nonchalantly wiping the cream at the edge of your lips with his thumb. “The trick is to remind him about his workout. He'll drop everything and run.” 
“Huh.” You laughed uncertainly before struggling to swallow your bite and turning to him. He stared at you stuffing your mouth with an expression you couldn’t quite read. 
“Soonyoung we…. “ You swallowed. “We didn't get to talk about last night.”
“Oh.” Soonyoung blinked. “What about it?”
About what he said. About if you heard it right. About if he meant it. 
“About if whatever happened was…. of any use with Mina?” You diverted like a coward.
“I uh haven't spoken to her yet.” Soonyoung confessed, scratching the back of his head. “Surprisingly I haven't returned any of her calls.”
“Why is that?” 
“I don't know.” He looked at you intently. “I don't feel like doing it.”
“Is there…” You whispered softly, wondering if you should even be asking this. If you were ready for his answer. “....something else you feel like doing?”
Soonyoung nodded, his tongue running across his lower lip, his eyes darting to your mouth. Just as it seemed like he leaned in, out of nowhere, the most beautiful girl you had ever seen, threw her arms around Soonyoung's neck, pulling his mouth to hers instead. 
“Hoshi.” She mumbled against his lips, pressing her body up against him not so subtly. 
You weren't sure why exactly you were continuing to watch the two people before you shoving their tongues into each other's mouth but perhaps that's how shock worked. Though you didn't have the intention of continuing anything at all with Soonyoung, something about being interrupted this way stung differently. 
By the time they had separated, you had chugged an entire can of beer, crushing the metal in your hand.
“And who might this be?” She looked at you, pushing her hair back. 
“She's the new member of camp seventeen Y/n,” He pointed between the two of you, “Y/n, this is Mina, my uh….”
“Girlfriend.” She smiled, with an unbelievably perfect set of teeth. “So the rumours are true. The infamous all-boys-celibate camp finally has a female presence. Tell me,” Her eyes glowed. “Have you gotten your eyes on any of them? Or even better,” She lowered her voice. “Have you gotten your hands on any of them already?”
You looked at Soonyoung, utterly uncomfortable. 
“Mina, you can’t ask such things-”
“Why not? It'll be between just us girls-” 
“Please.” He pulled her back. “Last I saw you, we broke up and now you just waltz back and-” 
“I know, I know. We never should have broken up in the first place. That whole fight was stupid.” She pouted, wrapping her arms around him tighter. “Forget about it Soonyoung-” 
“Forget about it?” His expression was of disbelief. “So you don't have anything to say to me?” 
She looked away, pretending like she was thinking before turning back to him with a smirk. “Yes, I do. I didn't wear any underwear today.” 
Inwardly groaning you stared at the design of the tile hoping the ground would just swallow you instead. You wanted to get the fuck out of here since this conversation was of no interest to you but moving was impossible with both their intertwined figures blocking the way. 
“Come on Soonyoung, it's been so long and I'm in the mood tonight. The bedrooms on the second floor won’t be free for long.” 
Soonyoung’s adam's apple shifted, his words stuck somewhere there as Mina held him by the wrist and began leading him away. As he was dragged off, you expected him to turn and shoot you a grateful look, instead, he looked at you wistfully. 
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Your plan was simple - stuff your face with all the incredibly bougie food, catch some air in the patio away from all the noise and then leave with the boys whenever they were ready to go. Instead here you were, your plate somewhere unattended while you were gripping the edge of the sink, leaning over it, chest heaving as you stared into the mirror. 
Now you knew you weren’t supposed to be hogging the washroom for this long but you couldn’t bear to go out. One, you didn’t want to see Soonyoung and his girlfriend again - especially if she was going to be all over him like a leech because something about that sight made your stomach turn violently. And two, you were somehow, for no reason at all, incredibly wet.
Perhaps it was because suddenly, everyone in the party was quite literally all over each other, or because you were thinking about what happened in Soonyoung’s residence this time yesterday, or because you were just plain desperate to have something, anything inside you. 
Last night awakened something in you that you didn’t know existed and now nothing seemed to satiate the beast. Chiding yourself for being out here when you could have been in your own room, having your way with Soonyoung’s toy or your own fingers maybe, you gripped the sink tighter, feeling your heart rate rise unprompted. It was getting harder and harder to stay modest. 
The only thing that stopped you from putting your hand down your pants in a house full of sixty people on the other side of the door, was the knock on it. 
“What part of I am throwing up in here do you not- Oh!” You gasped, walking back as the door flung open and in stepped a slightly inebriated Chan. “What are you doing!?” 
“You won’t open the door….” He slurred. “It’s been so long, Seokmin was worried.” 
“How the hell did you open three locks….” You stared at the door as he slowly shut it behind him. 
“My father is the God of thieves. Are you really surprised that I can open any lock and any door?” 
“I guess not.” You muttered, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “But you didn’t need to, I was going to come out-” 
“You’ve been in here for over 20 minutes.” Chan crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. “I thought you passed out or something.” 
“I wish.”
Passing out would be much better than whatever was going on between your legs. 
“You don’t look like you’re enjoying the party.” 
“I’m not. I’m just waiting for us to head back.” 
“Then why ask to tag along?” He raised his eyebrow. “Does it have anything to do with the hostility between you and Seungcheol?” 
“So you noticed.” 
“I think everyone did.” Chan chuckled. “Do you want to tell me why or should I guess?” 
“Shoot your shot.” 
Chan shrugged all knowingly, “He rejected you.” 
You looked up at the boy before you so fast, you nearly fell back thanks to the inertia. 
“W-what makes you think that?”
“Sons of Zeus and Daughters of Aphrodite have a natural tendency to attract the opposite sex.” He stated like it was obvious. “Seungcheol has women swooning over him like they're in some sort of trance. He doesn't really care for them because he knows it's a mere chemical attraction thanks to his dad. Instead he just ignores them or if things get unbearable, he breaks their hearts so they snap out of it.” 
You knew Chan had to be quite tipsy to so bluntly place you in the list of women Seungcheol had rejected. It wasn't like that was it? Yesterday in the rain, he had hinted his feelings for you, he almost kissed you but….. what about what you were feeling? Was this irresistible attraction you felt towards him nothing but chemical? 
Considering how you had been feeling since Mina wrapped herself all over Soonyoung…. You wouldn't have felt that if your heart was set out on Seungcheol right? 
Then again….. it was Seungcheol’s name that left your mouth as you orgasmed yesterday. 
Staring at the floor you shook your head slightly. You could not think about last night again, not with how soaked you already were at the moment. 
“Hey,” Chan inched closer, putting his finger under your chin, lifting your face to meet your eyes. He did not however notice the way you pressed your thighs together at his touch. His eyes skimmed over the features of your face, a slight amused smile forming on his face. “You’re flushed…. Did you have any of Soonyoung’s alcohol?” 
You shook your head but were unable to shake his fingers from your face. “His blend is not my drink of choice.” 
“Oh gods, please don’t tell me you had any beer.” 
“I think I had two cans…… or maybe four?” You frowned. “I can't remember but I'm not drunk! Beer barely makes me-” 
“Y/n,” Sighing, Chan finally let you go. “Party rule number one, you never drink alcohol at an Aphrodite rager.” 
“Why not?” 
“Because Aphrodite’s children are a bunch of troublemakers. Don’t let their gorgeous faces fool you.” He brushed the hair off your face. “You must think people like Joshua are the finest to walk the Earth, but don’t judge a man without knowing his stories.” 
Joshua? You frowned. How could he be anything but a sweetheart? Soonyoung’s girlfriend maybe was an obnoxious toad but not Joshua. He was flawless. 
“You might as well have drank Soonyoung’s disgusting blend.” Chan muttered. “Why do you think his alcohol sells so well at these parties?” 
“Because his annoyingly beautiful girlfriend is a daughter of Aphrodite?” 
“Yes, but also because only the insane drink the booze served at an Aphrodite party. She may be the goddess of Love but she’s also the goddess of Sex and more importantly, her children are addicted to it.” Chan looked at you just a little worried. “Those drinks are their special concoctions of aphrodisiacs.” 
“A-aphrodisiacs???” 
“Aphrodite, aphrodisiacs - not far off huh?” He shrugged. “I’m not sure if it hit you yet - do you feel anything?” 
“No….” You shook your head. 
The correct answer was hell yes. Everything going on with you suddenly made sense but you couldn't tell Chan that, not him. 
“Are you not feeling unnaturally hot?” He looked at you concerned as he sat down beside you, his body unwittingly brushing against yours. “Doesn't the tiniest bit of proximity rile you up?” 
You didn’t answer him. You didn't need him to know just how much even his presence was affecting you thanks to those stupid sex potions.
“I should tell you beforehand, when it hits, it’s going to be intense but the longer you resist it, the stronger it gets.” You turned to him, only just realising how close his face was to yours. “The only chance you have of getting out of it…. is to give in.” 
Gulping you stared at him. The boy who was always bright, laughing around and cracking jokes like he was an old man was looking at you with unusually darkened eyes, his thighs pressed against yours, your hand inches away from him. 
The only chance you have of getting it out is to give in.
“Chan do you think….” You gulped. “...you can guard the door for a while?”
Perhaps if it were anyone but Lee Chan you would have climbed them by now. Because he was right - the more you tried to control yourself, the more you felt yourself slipping. But not with Chan, definitely not with him. He was far too sweet and innocent to be dragged into whatever mess was going on with you. 
“I might uh need a few minutes alone here.” You mumbled. 
Chan blinked like he didn't understand but when you looked away, wiping the sweat trickling down your neck in a pretty cold room, he seemed like he got it. 
“Oh y-yeah sure.” He got up quickly, not looking at you. “I'll be right outside.”
And with that he scurried out, closing the door behind him. 
The moment he disappeared you smacked your head - you didn't particularly enjoy beer anyways, why did you have to drink it tonight? If you were being honest, it was because of Soonyoung and his irritatingly gorgeous girlfriend and their unnecessary antics right in front of you face- 
No. 
No no no. 
You couldn't be spiralling with these thoughts again. Chan said the longer you resisted, it was going to get worse so you were going to do whatever it took to get this feeling out of your system. 
As you unbuttoned your shorts, you got up and leaned against the sink to avoid seeing your face in the mirror, barely able to meet your own eyes given what you were about to do. Pushing your embarrassment aside considering the need of the hour, you slid your hand past the material of your underwear, fingers feeling exactly how drenched you were. 
“Fucking hell.” You muttered. How was it possible that you were this wet absolutely unprompted and for no reason at all? What the hell was in those concoctions?? 
You thought you could just get off with your own fingers but given how easily they were sliding past your hole there was no way you could do this on your own, especially not here. Annoyed, you pulled your hand out and turned, washing it under the running water, sighing at your reflection in the mirror. Chan was right, you were incredibly flushed, your pupils were blown and the sheen of sweat was very evident - oh it was definitely getting worse. 
Maybe you could go find Mingyu and convince him to give you a ride back to camp. If you could get your hands on Soonyoung’s toy again, you could help yourself out of this. That was perhaps the best thing to do right now. 
Adjusting your hair and your clothes, you gave yourself a determined nod and opened the door, expecting to see Chan but finding someone else entirely guarding the door.
“M-Minghao.” You stuttered as he looked over his shoulder, eyes finding you.
“Party rule number two, never trust Lee Chan to do anything in a party with alcohol.” 
You should have known - he might be your age but Chan was like an overexcited child. And did Minghao just say rule number two? Did that mean he was aware….
“You’re still very aroused.” He smirked as you felt your cheeks heat with embarrassment. “I’m guessing whatever you were trying to do in there didn’t work out.” 
You groaned. “I can’t believe Chan told you-” 
“He didn’t.” Minghao shook his head amused. You watched as he ran his eyes from your face down. “He didn’t have to, it’s pretty evident.” 
“I just need to get home and I’ll be fine-” 
“I don’t think so.” He dropped his voice, his wide frame covering anyone from seeing you. “On the contrary, you might quite literally pounce on the first guy you see-” 
“You’re the first guy.” 
Minghao’s eyes darkened as he looked at you wordlessly. Strangely, you felt something shift inside you too - oh god he was right.
“How much longer-”
“There’s bedrooms upstairs you know-” 
”Are you guys done-”  
“No.” Minghao shook his head, silencing the voices behind him as he slid his bracelet off his wrist and hooked it to the door handle, eyes not leaving you even once. “Get in.” 
Surprisingly you obeyed, taking a step back, allowing him to enter as he closed the door behind him much to the disappointment of the many queueing outside. 
“Y/n,” How was his voice so much deeper suddenly? “This is the exact kind of trouble the Aphrodite children are looking for. They want the drama that comes from the inability to control oneself, you’re better than that.” 
“What do you want me to do?” You groaned. “Before you shoved me back in here, I was trying to leave and get back to camp so I can deal with it myself-” 
“The art of war lies in self control.” He slid his arms in his pockets, looking at you just like he did every morning on the training field. “As a demigod, you are at your best when you learn how to control yourself. People misunderstand how this aphrodisiac works - you don't have to give in, it does wear off after a point. Most just don't happen to be able to control themselves till then.”
“Wears off at what point because Minghao, it's been barely 20 minutes since I’ve had those drinks and I’m barely able to get a hold of myself.” 
“Which is precisely why leaving right now is a horrible idea - you don’t have a hold over yourself.” He let out a deep breath. “We can fix it. We can stay here for however long you need and you can let this pass. Consider it a lesson in your training.” 
“We’re training in the middle of a party?” 
“As warriors we’re always training.” He walked past you, sitting on the edge of the bathtub like you had been just a while ago, looking annoyingly relaxed. “Do you think I enjoy these all-pink, snooty french parties? I come here just for the drinks.” 
Your jaw dropped. “Y-you had the beer too?” 
Minghao nodded. 
“On purpose? After knowing what they do?” 
He nodded again.
“Why in the world would you do that?” 
“To practise self control.” He stated like it was obvious.
“By drugging yourself?” 
“A good warrior is one who doesn’t allow himself to be governed by any kind of emotion - lust is usually the hardest to control.” 
“So that concoction has no effect on you?” 
“It's starting to hit.” Minghao looked at you intently as your eyes flickered down to his pants, noticing the bulge. “But I'm not the kind to give in.” 
“Well I think I'm the kind to.” You muttered, throat going dry as you peeled your eyes away. Minghao didn't. “I don't know how to explain it.” You shut your eyes tight, embarrassed of the words leaving you but you knew he might be the only person who understood where you were at. “but I have this feeling like I'm being clawed on the inside, like if I don't have anything in me right this second, I might just lose my mind.”
“I get it.” Your eyes flew open to find him standing right in front of you, his face inches away. “I feel like I'm on the edge of my sanity too but you can fight it.” 
Gulping you looked at the way his lips moved, the vein of his neck stark as was his collarbone peeking from under his shirt. Before this, you hadn’t actually noticed just how handsome Minghao was. 
“l can't.” You whispered, running your eyes over his features. “Can…can you help me?” 
Leaning closer, his gaze hardened. You could see there were thoughts running in that head of his - the warrior was engaged in a battle with himself. 
“Minghao please.”
Grabbing your waist, he spun you around swiftly, trapping you between his hands and the sink, meeting your eyes in the reflection of the mirror. 
“Help you how?” 
You looked at how his mouth was right by your ear and his frame so wide behind you that he was engulfing you merely with his presence. On one hand there were his arms, veins running up them as he gripped the edge of the sink and on the other was the fact that if you just took one step back, you knew you would feel his length pressed against you - both of which were making things exponentially worse. 
“Tell me how you want me to help Y/n.” He muttered, his breath soft against your ear.
“I… you know how-” 
“I was helping. I was telling you what to do-”
“Can't you do something instead?” Knowing exactly what you were doing, you took a small step back, pressing your back against his chest and your ass against his length. “Didn't you say it hit you too?” 
You thought it was a fair enough proposition. Both of you had taken the drink so it was easy to put the blame on it for anything that might potentially happen.
“But I don't need any help.” He shook his head adamantly. “If I help you, what's in it for me?” 
“I'll owe you one.” You sighed. “Whenever, wherever, please Minghao….”
“Remember those words.” He whispered, his hand snaking around your waist to unbutton your shorts, fingers lingering over your skin. 
“W-wait.” You gasped. Though this was exactly what you were expecting when you asked for his help, as it blended into reality, you felt an uncertainty kick in. “W-what if someone opens the door-”
“A door that has the bracelet of Ares on it?” Minghao's reflection raised his eyes amused. “They'd be crazy to.” 
“b-but what if…. I'm too loud or something. Wouldn't we be in trouble?”
“Y/n.” His hand drew back just a little. “Are you sure you want me to….” 
“Yes.” You shut your eyes mortified that just the feeling of him withdrawing his touch was physically painful. “Yes please …” 
Almost instantly Minghao obeyed, his hand snaking past the material of your shorts, just the thin layer of your underwear keeping his fingers away from you. 
“Oh you poor thing, you're drenched.”
You nodded as his hand pushed aside your panties, running his digits along your folds, smearing your arousal everywhere, a fingertip prodding your hole ever so slightly. 
“I'm not sure two fingers are enough for you.” He muttered, groaning. “You really want a dick inside don't you?” 
“So bad.” You whispered back. “I wouldn't even mind two of them in me right now-” 
You felt your words die in your throat as Minghao chuckled, slipping his fingers into your wet hole. “Let's start with two of these first.” 
A soft moan left you as you agreed, hands gripping the edge tighter as his digits simply stayed inside you. 
“Look at you.” He muttered in your ear. “Open your eyes and look at yourself.” 
Hesitating you obeyed, catching sight of the two of you in the mirror as his free hand wrapped around your waist, holding you in place against him. Something about the way your small frame fit against his wider one was….nice. 
You wanted to ask him to move his fingers, to give you something but before you said it, he slowly began pumping his digits in and out, burying his face in the dip of your neck. As his mouth brushed your skin, you felt yourself tense around his fingers. 
“So tight. ” He mumbled. “Oh you'd be such a delight to fuck.” 
“Then fuck me.” You moaned as his fingers picked up speed. 
“Tempting.” His voice left him like a low growl as his teeth grazed your skin. “But I'm a man of principles.” 
“Are you sure?” Reaching for the hand on your waist, you led it up your torso under your shirt, guiding him to your tits.  
“No bra?” He half groaned, squeezing it. “What a doll.”
“Don't you want to fuck me?” Moaning you tried to push your ass further against his rock hard self. “Use me and we can both be free of this-” 
“Don't be greedy Y/n.” Contrary to his words, he let a third finger join his act. “Take what I'm giving you.” 
Feeling a lot more full now, you felt your jaw slacken and no words left as both his hands took turns to harshly pump and squeeze, his mouth along your shoulder and neck, leaving painful, stinging marks of red. 
“Faster.” You panted as his tongue ran along your skin to soothe the burn and fingers obeyed, stretching you out just right. Minghao could tell it wasn't enough and his thumb darted to your clit, having you keen in his arms. The moment he curled his fingers up, met your eyes in the reflection and whispered, “cum for me doll.”, all that was building inside you instantly snapped, your orgasm washing over you in waves. 
Thank god he held you up against him because as you pressed your legs, riding out your climax, they began trembling. When your sight became clear and you came around, Minghao slowly let you go but whatever fire was burning inside you was not satiated. 
Fucking hell. 
“You need more?” Minghao chuckled as he took a step back and you turned to him, eyes still hooded with lust. 
“Perhaps just another…” You ran your hand down his chest, unzipping his hoodie, revealing his black tank top. “Finish off the favour.” 
“I don’t think so.” He shook his head. “As your campmate I did help. But now as your trainer, I'm going to let you get over the rest on your own.” 
“Minghao….” You groaned. If he was going to leave you halfway, he might as well not have done anything. Now you were, in fact, much more turned that you didn't think his fingers could even do the job anymore…..you needed the whole package. 
But like he said, Minghao was a man of principles, he wouldn't give in…. unless you could tempt him enough? 
Humming you looked around. The four walls of this bathroom did not seem like the right place to try and entice him but thankfully, you remembered Soonyoung’s girlfriend mentioning the bedrooms upstairs. 
“Fine.” You agreed, adjusting your clothes and buttoning up while Minghao washed his hands. Perhaps if the two of you found yourself in the proximity of one of those rooms, you could get him to succumb.
As you pulled your hair into a ponytail, Minghao opened the door, holding it for you to leave first but being the girl you were, you wantonly brushed your hand against his erection, pretending your actions were innocent. He stared at you as you walked away from him, stopping only at the edge of the staircase to glance at him before heading up, hoping he was following. 
Pushing through the crowd of people making out and feeling each other up in a way that was far from decent, you glanced down the corridor, slightly surprised. The house didn’t seem so big from the outside but the corridor before you looked endless with dozens of rooms on either side. You walked past them, avoiding the ones with socks on the knobs, knocking on some to receive screams of ‘go away’ and ‘taken’ and opening some unanswered doors to sights you wished you never saw. Half disturbed and half amused you continued to try and find an empty room when the sound of a particular something made you stop your tracks, eyes widening. 
Your name. 
Your name sounding like a strangled moan, repeated over and over, getting breathless with each word.
Gulping, you slowly pushed the door next to you open, both terrified and curious about what you were going to see because a part of you recognised that voice - it was one you heard on camp all the time. 
Sure enough, before you was a large bed, Soonyoung sitting against the headboard, his pants pushed down his thighs and his dick in his fist, pumping it hard and fast. He didn’t seem to notice your presence, his eyes screwed shut as your name continued to spill from his mouth. Of course this wasn’t the first time you were seeing Soonyoung do this but something had most definitely changed since last time. 
When you took a step ahead, letting the door close behind you, the click of it shutting was what finally got his attention, his eyes flying open. Catching sight of you he immediately swore loudly, tucking his length back into his pants, face turning a lot more red than it already was. 
“God woman, how long have you-” 
“Long enough to hear whose name you were saying.” You looked at him guiltily. “Soonyoung, you have a girlfriend-” 
“Mina and I are not together.” He confessed, gulping.”She wanted to but for the first time ever I refused to….” 
“Why?” You whispered, terrified of the answer. Please, please, please. Kwon Soonyoung cannot be in love with you. 
“For the last ten years I thought no one could make me feel the way she did and that’s why the two of us belong with each other but….” He sighed. “I learnt that that’s not true.” 
You blinked at him as he looked at you softly. 
“And you know why it’s not true.” 
“Soonyoung we….” You walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What happened between us was just a favour, one friend to another. How can there be something between us-” 
“I know.” He nodded. “I’m not saying I’m in love with you or something, I…. I myself don’t really know, all this is new to me too.” 
“But what you were doing,” You tried not to glance at his pants where his erection was still very much evident. “That seemed like-” 
“Y/n I’ve only ever been with one woman my whole life who gave me a boner before I turned her down for good.” He couldn’t look at you either. “What else could I really do…..” 
A part of you understood him. You too were incredibly wound for a while now and you knew what it was like to try and fight it - you too had succumbed. In fact you were still not fully rid of the feeling and Soonyoung was right before you, just as aroused. Yesterday could be justified as an ignorant act whose consequences were not expected but if you went through with this today, there was no coming back from it. It wouldn’t be right…..
.
.
.
But fuck it. 
“You didn’t finish, did you?” 
Soonyoung shook his head slowly
Sighing, you kicked off your shoes and climbed on the bed on all fours, crawling towards him as he held his breath. 
“This is yet another favour.” You clarified, more to yourself than him, “Just so you can understand if it's me you want to fuck or just anyone who's not your girlfriend.” 
W-what?” He stuttered as your hand found the waistband of his pants. “We're going to…?” 
“We don't have to if you don't want to-” 
“Yes.” He breathed out, nodding fast. “God yes I want to.” 
Smiling just a little, you pulled his pants down a bit, the way they were when you had entered. His erection sprung out, lying against his shirt, the tip pink and flushed. You were familiar with how it looked, but this was the most up close you had seen it and the first time you touched it as you wrapped your wrist around the base, earning a hiss from him. 
“How long have you been hard?” 
“Over 20 minutes.” He groaned. “Ever since we spoke at the table…. your ass looked fucking good when you bent over the table.” 
“Yeah?” You pumped his length slowly. “You're not too bad yourself. Your abs are hot.”
Almost immediately, without needing to be told, Soonyoung pulled his sweatshirt over his head, tossing it on the floor. 
“Good boy.” Tongue darting out, you licked the precum on his slit, looking up at his blown pupils. “You taste good too.” 
“Fuck y/n, I might just cum right now.” 
“In my mouth?” You cooed. “Not inside me?”
Groaning Soonyoung threw his head back. Honestly, you had no idea how these words were even leaving you - you owed it to both the aphrodisiac coursing through you and also how submissive Soonyoung seemed in your hands. So reactive, so easy to please. 
The moment you took his tip in your mouth, his hand gripped your ponytail, trying to push himself further in. Pulling back with a wet pop, you clicked your tongue. 
“Uh huh.” You shook your head. “If we do this we do this my way.” 
“Do whatever the fuck you want.” He panted, his thighs twitching. “I'm all yours.” 
Although you had some thoughts about that statement you didn't voice them. One because you really wanted to suck him off and two because you heard a voice you knew most definitely wasn't Soonyoung. 
“So this is how you choose to tempt me.” 
Before you Soonyoung froze, eyes looking past you at the door where Minghao was standing. You could tell the man before you was both shocked and embarrassed and wanted to cover himself up but you didn't move to give him room for that. 
“If you're worried about your modesty Kwon, you should know I don't give a fuck.” Minghao leaned back against the door. “I'm only interested in what Y/n has to offer.” 
Soonyoung looked at you confused as you smiled just a little. Oh you managed to crack him and it didn't even take much. 
“Tell him my offer is still open.” You ran your tongue from his base up. “If you’re okay with it too that is.” 
Soonyoung’s eyes widened, finally realising what was happening. You doubted that he wouldn't be okay with it - the man was quite literally falling apart in your hands. 
Sure enough, he slowly nodded.
“From only one woman ever to this overnight?” Minghao raised his eyebrow. “Your girlfriend must've put you up to a really strong dose of those sex potions.” 
“I didn't drink a-any beer.” Soonyoung muttered as you ran your eyes over his face. He was the same as you - pupils widened, face flushed, breath fast and shallow. 
Oh. 
“You're telling me that woman isn't capable of slipping in a little something to entice her boyfriend who won't crawl back to her like he always does?” Minghao chuckled. “Because I think so.”
Well wasn't this ideal, now you could justify everything that was happening - it was simply three people succumbing to the effects of an aphrodisiac - nothing personal, nothing beyond anything physical. Except deep down you knew it must mean something if despite being drugged Soonyoung rejected his girlfriend because of you and Minghao who was a man of impeccable self control was crumbling for you. 
Except he hadn't really yet. 
Deciding to leave the thoughts for another time, you slightly looked over your shoulder at the man who was leaning against the wall. 
“Only my mouth is busy, I have two more free holes you know.” 
You could tell that something about the energy in the room had shifted the moment you said that, like it was only a matter of time before Minghao joined. Sure enough, you heard the lock of the door click behind you and from the way Soonyoung gulped and his eyes followed his teammate, you could tell Minghao had neared. Wrapping your mouth around the older man's tip again, you hummed at the weight of his dick on your tongue. 
“F-fuck.” Soonyoung groaned under his breath. 
As the bed dipped behind you, you knew Minghao had climbed in, finally succumbing, finally giving in. . 
“Is that the best you got?” He chuckled with a deep voice, pushing your knees apart with his own and running his hand down along your back as Soonyoung stared at him wide eyed. “That won't be enough for me.”
You could feel your mouth practically water, drool leaking down the corner of your lips as you took Soonyoung further in your mouth, earning a pained hiss. Minghao though was still not satisfied as he bent over, one hand unbuttoning your shorts, his breath at the shell of your ear, whispering. 
“Take care of my friend and I'll take care of you.” You looked at Soonyoung to see his eyes flickering between the two of you. “The louder he moans, the harder you'll get it.” 
Most definitely motivated, you sunk Soonyoung’s length deeper into your mouth, his tip touching the back of your throat, a deep groan leaving the man as his hand gripped your hair again to hold you back. 
Minghao smacked it away with the shake of a head as he drew himself back, fingers hooking onto your waistband as he pulled down both your shorts and panties in one go, letting it pool at your bent knees.
You could feel your arousal drip down your legs given how incredibly wet you were. A part of you wanted to see Minghao's face but then you would have missed the sight of Soonyoung panting, looking down at you like the mere smell of you had awakened something wild in him. To make things a whole lot worse, Minghao ran his fingers up your slit, playing with your wetness before gathering it on his digit and holding it out to his friend. 
“Want a taste?” 
“Bold of you to assume this is my first time.” Soonyoung smirked as he sucked off Minghao's fingers and you grinned to yourself. Atta boy. 
Minghao chuckled as he pulled his fingers away, smearing the wetness on the cheek of your ass, landing a smack that sent a sharp sting, making you moan around Soonyoung. 
“Barely a week in camp and look at you.” He mimicked his actions on your other cheek, the impact jerking your forward, Soonyoung’s length slipping into your throat. “Good girl.” 
“So fucking good.” Soonyoung moaned. “That mouth is divine.”
“Not more than this.” Cupping the curve of your ass, Minghao dipped his finger into your quivering hole. You keened at the sensation, but didn't stop working on Soonyoung's dick - you knew if you gave Soonyoung what he needed, Minghao would give you what you wanted and god did you want to feel full of him. When you grinded against his hips, his hands left you and you finally heard the sound of Minghao's zipper despite the lewd noises leaving your mouth being much louder. 
“Fuck baby just like that.” Soonyoug groaned as you picked up the speed, making him feel more and more of your throat. 
You still couldn't tell what Minghao was doing, the absence of his touch testing your patience, your teeth accidentally grazing Soonyoung’s dick making him hiss in pain. 
Minghao chuckled, adjusting your body on each knee to pull out the clothes on your lower half and when he aligned himself behind you, you could tell he discarded his own too. His hands returned to your ass which you guessed was faint red, a colour that was exceedingly a part of Minghao's life, a colour he seemingly enjoyed. Although you did want him to rail you into tomorrow, you didn't mind if he took a moment to admire what he saw. 
As though he was lost in thought about the same, Minghao dragged his dick along your folds, his length bumping your clit and sending a jolt down your nerves, before he aligned himself.
“W-wait” Looking at his friend, Soonyoung let out a strangled cry. “She hasn't been prepped-”
“Oh Kwon.” You felt his tip pushing into your needy wet hole. “She's already ready for me.” 
And with that he buried himself to the hilt, the suddenness making you choke around Soonyoung’s length much to the latter's surprise and delight. Barely giving you the time to get a hold of yourself, Minghao began thrusting into you, the force pushing your mouth to take more of Soonyoung, your hands painfully gripping his thighs. The older man, who could have been a little more considerate, also began ramming his dick into your mouth, barely allowing you to breathe. 
You could feel yourself losing a grip on reality, one man fucking you onto another - you never thought you would ever find yourself in a situation like this but here you were, being wrecked on both ends by men who were strangers just a week ago but god did it feel good. 
Minghao bunched the material of your shirt, pushing it up along your spine, as you pulled yourself away from Soonyoung, desperate to get some air before you passed out. He groaned at the loss of your warm mouth but his expression turned fond as you looked up at him, drool running down your chin messily. Considering you looked absolutely fucked out, you didn't get why he was so enamoured as he tucked your hair behind your ear. 
“Shit I could watch you all day sweetie.” 
You wanted to say something back but your throat felt too sore and bruised so you settled on just giving him a sweet smile. Minghao watched the interaction between the two of you intently, his movements slowing down to deep, hard strokes. You could feel him so far in, reaching spots no one ever had before. Not even Cheol’s dildo model. 
“Do you need a breather?”
Soonyoung's concern laced voice was echoed by another one that sounded a lot more condescending.  
“Do you?”
Though you had barely gotten any air in you for so long and your eyes were threatening to roll back, you knew Minghao would only allow you to cum if Soonyoung did and man did the latter have the stamina of a bull. 
Shaking your head you spat in your hand and wrapped your fist around the base of his cock, stroking it. 
“I'm tired.” You muttered. “Fuck me Soonyoung.” 
Forgetting Minghao’s previous instructions to not use his hands, Soonyoung obeyed, gripping your hair again, guiding your mouth back to his cock. 
“Tap me twice if you want to stop.” 
Much to his surprise, you took him in at a whole new depth, making him throw his head back in pleasure as he held your head down, dick getting squeezed down your throat. At the same time the man behind you decided to pay attention to your clit, making you tremble at the combined sensation but there was nothing you could do - you were at the mercy of both men. 
As Soonyoung loosened his grip, allowing you draw back, you barely had the time to catch a breath before he was fucking his dick into your mouth, at the same speed Minghao was ravaging you from behind. 
“Fuck fuck fuck.” Soonyoung groaned as his movements got sloppy and his grip tight. 
“Fuck I'm gonna come.” 
Oh fucking finally. 
But to your complete surprise, you felt Minghao's weight press against your back as he leaned over you, hips not stopping their abuse on your hole, whispering, 
“Enough.” 
Although you knew it was cruel, you immediately tapped Soonyoung’s thigh and the moment he let you go confused, you pulled away, looking at him guiltily as you got on all fours.
“That's my good girl.”
“Xu Mingao.” Soonyoung groaned as the other man drew back. “What the hell?!” 
Minghao simply chuckled. “You know how much I enjoy pain.”
“Sadist.” Soonyoung mumbled, trying to push himself to the edge again, pumping his length slick with your spit, hard and fast. 
“Oh no.” Minghao shook his head, continuing to fuck the living daylights out of you. “If you cum I'm not letting you get a taste of this.”
“That's for Y/n to tell.” 
“Tell him doll.” 
You didn't know how he expected you to answer as he rolled his hips against your ass, hitting all the spots.
“Tell him what you want.” 
“Don't you…” You moaned as Minghao tightened his grip on you painfully. “Don't you want to cum inside me?”
Muttering under his breath, Soonyoung looked at you with eyes filled with lust. You could tell he was leaning to kiss you, but suddenly Minghao's hand wrapped around your neck, drawing you away. 
Sitting on his ankles, he pulled you back till your thighs rested on him and stripped you of your shirt, baring your body to Soonyoung like a mannequin on display. 
“Didn't you say you could watch her all day?” He smirked at the older man, hand snaking around your waist. “Now watch.” 
You finally seem to understand where the shift in intentions was coming from as he began snapping his hips up into you. Though he wasn't hitting you as deep, his fingers found your clit again and was tightening that knot in you unbelievably fast, your body growing hot and tense. 
It was the sound of Soonyoung’s soft sigh that brought you attention back to him as he watched where Minghao disappeared into you with unwavering eyes, fully discarding his pants. When you let out another unholy moan, he looked up, not before his eyes lingered at your tits, his tongue running along his lower lip ravenously. At the sight of him and with Minghao hitting that spot once again, you finally convulsed around him, your orgasm hitting you with an intensity it never had before. Under your grip as tight as a vice, Minghao swore in your ear as he came too, ropes of his release painting your insides. 
It was only when his warmth hit your walls that you realised he had not worn a condom and you had not cared.
Before you could justify to yourself that Demigods probably didn't get STDs and it didn't matter, Minghao pulled himself out, depriving you of his girth to clamp around. With a swift movement that was all a blur to you, he manhandled you around till you felt your back aligning against Soonyoung’s chest, the latter spreading your legs apart, the mixed releases leaking out of you, onto his dick. 
“Just a little longer.” Minghao tilted your head up by the chin, face hovering over yours. “Be a doll will you?”
You nodded as Soonyoung slipped himself into you with a groan. 
“Fuck I don't think I'm going to last long enough anyways.” 
Considering you still hadn't even fully come down from your orgasm yet, Soonyoung's intrusion felt like an intense surge of pleasure shooting up your being. Overwhelmingly, in less than a thrust or two, you found yourself cumming again almost immediately, walls fluttering, tightening around him. 
Muttering a string of fucks, Soonyoung bit down on your shoulder, his hips moving erratically as he felt himself nearing his high. Cooing into his ear though his thrusts were starting to get painful given your sensitivity, you rolled your hips and with two sharp jerks, Soonyoung finally emptied his load straight into you, cumming copiously. 
As he softly held you against him, letting your breaths slowly become regular again, your vision finally cleared and you caught sight of a half naked Minghao before you, watching you snuggled in the arms of his friend. Your eyes ran down, finally catching sight of the dick that had been inside you, lips curling into a small smile. 
“Good?” 
He asked, scanning your features as he slid off the bed.
“So good.” You muttered, beckoning him with your hand. 
Narrowing his eyes confused, he walked around, picking up all the clothes tossed around before he neared you. Pulling him closer to the edge of the bed by the hand, you wrapped your hand around his dick, leaning over to take it in your mouth. As you licked it clean, tasting your mixed releases along his length, you watched his eyes darken. 
“Just wanted to be fair.” 
“You're not satiated are you?” He smirked amused as you slowly shook your head. “Careful doll, you won't be able to stay conscious through another round with us.” 
“I know..” You muttered, snuggling back into Soonyoung’s chest. “I’m tired. Wanna go back.” 
“Let's clean you and get you dressed first.” Soonyoung patted your head softly, unwilling to move as your eyes began fluttering shut. “Hao, open that third drawer under the sink, there's washcloths in there.” 
“And how do you know that?” 
“This is my gir- ex girfriend's room.” Soonyoung muttered. 
That information seemed to surprise even Minghao who was usually quite unfazed. “You're crazy Kwon.” 
He voiced your thoughts as he disappeared into the bathroom, shaking his head. Within seconds he returned, handing a white towel to Soonyoung who slowly wiped you clean, trying not to brush any sensitive areas.
Just as he finished and his lips softly pressed against your temple asking you not to fall asleep, the sound of a knock resounded in the room, along with a voice.
“Anyone from Camp Seventeen here?” 
“Yes.” Minghao and Soonyoung replied at the same time.
“Someone is here looking for your team. Says it's code yellow.” 
You watched as the boys shared looks, panicked. Slowly pulling himself away from you, Soonyoung caught the clothes Minghao threw to him, the two of them moving quickly to dress themselves.Pulling your hair into a neat ponytail again and trying to ignore your aching body, you swung your legs off the bed.
“What’s going on?” 
“Get dressed.” Minghao handed you your clothes, looking tense. “When a team member calls a code, it means everyone needs to gather immediately.” 
 You nodded, half understanding as you began to dress yourself. “But what's code yellow?” 
Looking at your shivering self, Minghao threw you his hoodie, which you slipped on, letting it envelop you in its warmth. 
“Yellow is a moderate danger alert.” Soonyoung held the door open for you as Minghao stepped out. “It most likely means the camp is under attack.”
Oh fuck. 
Pushing through the crowd, you followed the boys downstairs, trying not to lose them in their hurry. Noticing you lagging behind thanks to the fact that you were struggling to walk, Soonyoung grabbed your hand, wrapping his hand around your wrist. 
From the corner of your eye, you saw Seokmin and Joshua laughing away with a group of girls but before you could call them along, you were dragged away in the urgency of the boys you were with. As you reached the front door, coming to a halt right behind Minghao, your eyes fell on the familiar back of a man leaning against the frame. 
Oh no.
“Chief.” 
Seungcheol turned as both boys bowed, greeting him. 
You simply stared wordlessly, as the blonde man's eyes found you, flickering from the jacket you had donned, to Soonyoung's hand which was still holding yours. 
Behind him lightning cracked opened the sky and rain began pouring furiously. 
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a/n - please send me your thoughts - this series is waaaay out of my comfort zone, I need to know I'm not completely messing shit up and if I missed you in the taglist, please lmk! Also please be patient for chapter 3 - I have to temporarily shift focus to my other stories as well, I will be back here soon!
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lenaswritingandstuff · 2 days ago
Text
Home ▪ Mattheo Riddle x bff!fem!reader
Requested: No
Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x f!reader
Summary: y/n wants to makes something special for Mattheo's birthday, but little does she know how special it is about to get.
Word count: 3.1K
Warnings: Fluff; English is not my first language.
A/N: Thank you guys so, so much for over 300 followers, love y'all!! That said, I don't think I like this one lol. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Sorry for the typos. Hope you enjoy it! xx
Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus @wolfyychan @blocked-zombieartist
Tag list for this story: @lilloves-34
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“Aw, how lovely it is to see you two!”
“Hi, mum.”
Your mother held you warmly before turning to the person next to you.
“You’ve grown taller, Mattheo, dear.”
“As always, Mrs. y/l/n.”
She held him too, and Mattheo did his best to return the hug. His dark eyes turned to you and you offered him a small, affectionate smile. He suddenly looked more comfortable and smiled at your mother when she let him go. 
“Leave your luggage here, dears, it can be unpacked later. Come, I’ve made you two some snacks.”
You and Mattheo follow her into the kitchen, and you can’t help but look at Mattheo. Partly because, well, it’s not like he wasn’t the most handsome boy you’ve ever seen, but mostly because you know he’s not always comfortable in your mother’s house, despite having living here for over two years now. 
Mattheo and you had been best friends since your first year at Hogwarts. But as the years went by, knowing Mattheo was alone at Hogwarts during the holidays made you feel so upset that you started asking him if he wanted to spend it with you, which he accepted with a gratitude he had a hard time hiding. And, naturally, you also asked him if he wanted to come for summer break here as well. From the day Mattheo met your mother, she adored him and soon considered him a full member of the family, sending him sweets and gifts while at school just like she did for you, offering him gifts for his birthdays and Christmas as well, and he started coming every holiday without you asking him. You knew Mattheo was thankful for your mother’s hospitality and affection, as he always made sure to let her know, but you knew - despite him doing his best to hide it - that he felt that he somehow didn’t deserve the kindness and care you mother had shown him. It broke your heart to know he felt like that, but Mattheo wasn’t the kind to easily speak about his feelings so you never dared to bring it up, only sometimes telling him how happy you were that he was here, and that this house was his home.
But what your mother - or anyone else for that matter - didn’t know was that now having Mattheo around at all times was bittersweet for you. You absolutely loved having him in your house, where you knew he was finally loved and cared for, but it also made you two closer and made feelings for him grow - feelings you didn’t know were shared or not. It was slowly breaking you from the inside, and you didn’t know how to deal with it. Of course, you could talk about it with Pansy, who was your other best friend, or your mother, but you perfectly knew what they would both tell you: “tell him how you feel.” Merlin, no. You just couldn’t. Not only because if Mattheo didn’t feel the same way, your friendship would never be the same at best - or completely destroyed in the worst case scenario - and in both cases, you knew it wouldn’t take long for Mattheo to decide to leave your house. If I ever do tell him how I feel, it’s better to wait until we’re both out of Hogwarts and have our own places. 
You walked in the kitchen to find your favourite snacks on the table. 
“Aw, thanks, mum.”
“Yes, thank you, ma’am.”
“You’re more than welcome. Come, sit.”
The three of you sat around the table, you being next to Mattheo on one side and your mother on the other. You and Mattheo started eating while your mother asked about yours and Mattheo’s lives at school. You and Mattheo took turns in making conversation and even had a few laughs as you recalled some of the funny memories you had. After both your stomachs were full, you decided to go unpack your luggage. Mattheo had the same idea, and went to the bedroom that was now essentially his. You both finished at the same time, and found yourselves in the corridor of the second floor. 
“I’ll go take a shower,” Mattheo said quietly. “If you don’t mind.”
“Of course not.”
He walked to the bathroom, but before he came in, you called for him. “Matty?” 
He turned to you and you continued, “As always, this is your home.” 
He gave you a single nod before quickly turning away and going into the bathroom. Letting out a small sigh, you went down downstairs in the living room and found your mother reading a book. 
“Mum?”
She raised her head from her book, “Yes?”
You sat on the sofa next to her, a small smile on your face.
“You know Mattheo’s birthday is coming up?”
“Yes,” she nodded, “I already got his gifts and have everything I need to make his favourite cake. Why?”
“Well,” you said, “I thought that we could do something else for a change. We usually have quiet birthdays and it’s nice but I’d really like to do something for Mattheo this time.”
Your mother frowned, “Like what?”
“A surprise party?” you answered. “I could write to the boys and invite them to celebrate?” 
“That’s a good idea, darling. I’ll soon go to Diagon Alley to buy some decorations and, well, more food and drinks.”
You smiled and went to give her a quick hug. “Thank you, mum. You’re the best.”
The evening was nice and quiet, spent playing chess with Mattheo on the ground in the living room like you always did, with your mother playfully cheering on the one winning from the sofa. Mattheo and you laughed a lot while playing, and it warmed your heart to see him relaxed and happy. You knew he was usually shy in the first days he came here, and while you perfectly understood it, you couldn’t wait for him to be his warm, chill, funny self again. The Mattheo you knew and loved. After dinner, your mother went to bed and soon after, Mattheo and you decided to follow. You both went upstairs, and you then went into the bathroom to take a shower and put on your pyjamas. Mattheo had his own bathroom, and he was likely getting himself ready to go to bed. Once you were done, you went to your bedroom, and you weren’t surprised to see Mattheo casually laying on your bed. You went to close the shutters, and when you got in bed, Mattheo’s arms immediately wrapped around your body, and you put your head on his chest. Mattheo and you had taken the habit of cuddling to sleep since the first night he spent here, where a discussion before going to sleep ended up with you guys falling asleep and for some reason waking up in each other’s arms. You found that you slept way better in Mattheo’s arms, so much so that this situation continued in Hogwarts - and it was made easier by your roommate Pansy essentially spending all her nights with Blaise. At first, you just enjoyed the feeling of warmth and safety Mattheo’s embrace gave you, but as your heart started to feel more than friendship for him, cuddling, just like his perpetual presence, became bitter-sweet. You still loved cuddling with Mattheo, in fact you didn’t even know if you could even sleep without him now, but you wondered if it was a good idea to continue like this. But even if I decided it was better to stop, how do I tell him? 
“You alright?” you whispered, raising your head to look at him.
He nodded, “Yeah. Why?” 
“I just want to make sure you’re comfortable here. This is your home, Matty. And it will always be. But if you’re feeling something different, I want you to tell me.” 
“I’m fine, y/n, really. I’m grateful for your mum and you, you know that. Don’t worry your pretty little head over me.”
He kissed your hair, his hands started gently caressing your shoulder and the middle of your back. Soon after, you felt yourself going to sleep, and thought you heard a voice saying “sleep well, princess.” 
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
The next following days, Mattheo and you spent all of your time together. Every meal, every activity - playing Quidditch in the garden, reading, studying, taking a nap - was done with him. You loved it, but it made it harder to write to Mattheo’s friends to invite them to the surprise party or to prepare the said party without him knowing, but you still managed to do it while he was reading a book in the living room. Thankfully, all the boys answered your letter and said they would come, and thankfully also, your mother had time to buy what was needed and had the idea to hide it in her room, where you and her knew Mattheo would never dare to go. 
On the day of his birthday, you woke up once again in his arms, and kissed him on the cheek as he was slowly waking up.
“Happy birthday, Matty.”
“Thank you, pretty girl.”
You had managed to get Mattheo agree to go to Hogsmeade in the beginning of the afternoon to get his favourite sweets from Honeydukes so your mom could prepare everything for the party and welcome the guests. You spent some time here, and once you knew everything was likely to be ready, you and Mattheo got back home, and you had a hard time not smiling. But you also suddenly worried about how Mattheo would react. Last year, Theo had a surprise party and Mattheo was happy to help prepare it. But does that mean he wants one for himself?
You opened the door, and entered the silent house. Mattheo looked around the corridor, and put his bag full of sweets on the floor in order to take off his jacket.
“Is your mom here?” he asked. 
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Let’s check the living room.”
Mattheo remained silent and approached said living room, and you had the biggest smile on your face when he suddenly stopped.
“Happy birthday!”
There was some cheering and applause, and Mattheo turned to you as you approached him.
“What-”
“It’s a surprise, Matty,” you couldn’t help but laugh at his confused face. “You deserved to have your friends and your brother with you today.”
He stared at you for a long minute, and you felt your heart beat faster, and he finally smiled at you.
“Thank you, y/n.”
You smiled back at him and gestured for him to go say hi to his friends, who were quick to wish him a happy birthday and greet him warmly, and his brother Tom, who was colder and more silent than the others. You looked around the room, and what your mother had done to decorate was incredible: there were numerous small fireworks up in the air alongside big golden letters saying “happy birthday Mattheo”, small decorations all around, and the long wooden table, usually bare, was also very much magically decorated. Mattheo hugged your mother to thank her while Pansy came closer to you. 
“Well done, dear. If you’ve put it together for a friend, I can’t wait to see what you will do when you’ll be dating him.”
“Don’t start,” you warmed her. “Mattheo and I have always been friends and will always be.” 
“We’ll see,” she teased.
You rolled your eyes and went closer to Mattheo. It was now time for him to blow out the candles and make a wish, and everyone was gathered around him as your mother brought his favourite cake decorated with whipped cream and full of magic candles.
“Happy birthday again, dear,” your mother smiled. “Make a wish.”
Mattheo closed his eyes for an instant and then blew out the candles. You applauded alongside the others, and everyone gave Mattheo their birthday gifts - books on Quidditch or history or wizards, Quidditch equipment, special quills, a watch - and then came your turn. Feeling your cheeks becoming red, you handed him your own gift, scared he might not like it. He unwrapped it and then saw the book.
“It’s, um, a photo album with some pictures we took along the years and, well, I wrote down some of my favourite memories with you.” 
You heard some whispers among Mattheo’s friends - his brother Tom remained silent - but your only focus was on Mattheo’s reaction. He turned some of the pages, smiled at some of the pictures and read the memories you wrote down - and the note you had also written him about how much he meant to you and how special you genuinely thought he was. After a moment of apparently being lost in thoughts, he gently put down the book on the table near the others books he got and looked at you to give you a half-smile.
“Thank you, y/n.”
He gave you a quick, strange hug, and then turned to his plate. Feeling confused, you wondered if he truly liked the gift. You went to sit between your mother and Lorenzo, and as you ate the cake, you looked sometimes as Mattheo, who was now the center of attention, and as time went by, you saw him switching from his usual, funny self to a more quiet, uneasy self, barely listening to what Theo was saying to him. You guessed he was feeling overwhelmed, and as the others finished their plates and went to sit on the sofas, you saw Mattheo mumbling an excuse before leaving the room to go to the garden. You wanted to follow him to make sure everything was fine, but you knew he probably needed some time alone. After a while, you finally went outside, and found him sitting in the grass, lost in thoughts. You approached him slowly before sitting down next to him.
“Are you okay, Matty?” 
He nodded, “Yes. Was it your idea to have this party?”
“Yes,” you said quietly. “Why?” 
“Thank you, y/n. It means a lot,” he looked at the grass before shaking his head. 
“You deserve it,” you said with a gentle voice. 
“Actually, I’m not sure,” Mattheo said in a low voice, his head now down.
You frowned, confused. “What? Why?”
Mattheo turned to you and had a small sigh.
“Honestly, y/n. You and your mum have already so much for me. Letting me live here, giving me gifts, being there for me, and now this…What did I ever give you back? Nothing.”
You opened your mouth, but it took a few seconds to answer. “Mattheo, have you not read what I wrote in the photo album?” 
He didn’t answer, still looking at the grass.
“Well?” you insisted. “What did the text say?”
“That you deeply cared about me,” he said, almost mumbling. “And that you thought of me as caring, and kind.”
“I meant it, alright?” you said in a more serious voice, wanting him to understand. “You’re the most exceptional person I know. You’re kind, gentle, funny, and caring. You’re a great friend to the boys, and you’re doing your best to have a good relationship with Tom, even when it’s not easy. You’re always there for me, you're always ready to spend time with me no matter the activity, and I know I always count on you whenever I need help or need comfort. You always know what to say, and you always listen to me when I have something to say. You’re also smart, and a damn good Quidditch player. I know you’re scared of becoming like your father, but I know you won’t. Because you two couldn’t be more different. And even if you started to be like him, we both know I’d smack some sense into you.” He had a hint of a smile and you went on, “Yes, sometimes you’re annoying and I think you love to fight too much, but nobody’s perfect, and I wouldn't want you to change for anything in the world. You’re the best person I know, Mattheo, and that’s why I’m in love with you.”
He whipped his head towards you, and that’s when you realised what you just said. 
Oh, no. Oh, no. Merlin, no.
“I…Just…Forget what I said.”
You quickly rose up and almost ran back to the house, but you suddenly felt a warm hand on your wrist. 
“Wait!” Mattheo said, “What the hell, you can’t leave like that after saying that to me.”
“Yes I can,” you retorted, panicking, “and that’s what I’m doing, just…forget it happened, alright?”
Mattheo let go of your wrist to run a hand through his dark curls. 
“But, y/n, I can’t forget,” he said, frowning, as if it was obvious, “and I don’t want to. Did you really mean it?”
“Mattheo, I…”
“y/n, please,” he cut off more severely, both his voice and eyes now pleading. “Please, answer me.”
Doing your best to not look at him, you hesitated before nodding, feeling the need to disappear. He looked at you in a strange way, and you wondered what he was going to say.
“Look, Mattheo,” you started, “I know our f…”
“I love you too.”
It was now you turn to look at him with confusion. “What?”
“I love you too,” he whispered. “You’re…all I want, and all I need. You said this house is my home, but the truth is, you’re my home.” 
All of a sudden, he stepped closer to you and brought his hand to your face, slowly caressing your cheek with all the gentleness in the world. You wondered what you should do next -  put your hand on his? Put your own hand on his cheek? - but he made the decision for you, suddenly lowering his head towards yours.
“Fuck, y/n…”
And after that whisper, he pressed his lips on yours. It took you a few seconds to kiss him back, but when you did, he immediately grabbed your waist to pull you closer before putting a hand on the back of your neck. You let out a moan, and he deepened the kiss. You had a hard time believing what you had been dreaming for years now was actually happening but at the same time, Mattheo’s lips on yours and his hands on your body was all you could feel, all you could think about and all that mattered. When he finally pulled away, you were both out of breath. 
“Does you saying that you love me and this kiss count as two more birthday gifts?” he suddenly asked. 
“If you want,” you laughed. 
“Then, it really is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”
You both smiled at each other before he kissed you again before taking you into his arms, holding you as if he died if he let go. You held him as well, feeling that, wherever you were, Mattheo was also your home. 
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eddie-rifff · 3 months ago
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i feel like the people geeking out over the grandpas on instagram with weak singing voices doing lana del rey covers just don’t know that there are old people out there that age that actually sound really good and that earle from minnesota really is not doing anything special and in fact kind of sucks
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emailsicantsnd · 4 months ago
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does anyone perchance have an HQ photo of the poster sold on the EVOLution tour? like not the tour dates one but the one where she's on the stool with her name and the tour name on the bottom? i have it hanging in my room in a frame but need a photo of it without the glare and i cannot reach high enough to take it down and do what i need to do rn
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infiniteseriesofhalfways · 24 days ago
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also here's two terrible photos of what ive been knitting this week:
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there's too many stitches so i cant stretch it out properly, and the construction makes it hard to really show it off. also im in bed so it's the best i can do right now.
anyhow this is clue 1 of Stephen West's Go Go Dynamo MKAL, which im two weeks behind on but it's fine. it's been fun so far, minus the 'bubbles', which are the bane of my existence.
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ganondoodle · 4 months ago
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i wish confidence found its way into my head as easily as doubt does lol saw a single tweet about how a big problem in media criticism is alot of people think they can do the job of the devs/writers better when they dont and i immediately go ... oh god im one of those arent i ...
posts like those are probably rly obviously talking about a specific kinds of people but if its not clarified my brain just goes "could be you :)" and leaves it at that :^)
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cerealmonster15 · 5 months ago
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deuce calling riddle boss is everything to me btw
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zymstarz · 5 months ago
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
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#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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kiddokori · 3 months ago
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i dont ship them per say i just think they understand each other in a way no one else can and while this could bring them together it’s much more likely for them to reject the horror of being known and cannibalize each other like oscars
#eunyung baek and haejoon goh. to me#i dont think they’re getting together i think theyre going 2 years without talking and then runners into each other and acting like no time#passed at all i think theyre just like adult besties that kinda hate each other#like yeah thats my best friend hes a shithead tho. kinda cant stand him. we’re going out for drinks thursday and i just know hes gonna be#a mess and itll suck. but ill go anyways#haejoon texts him like hey man whats up its been a few months whereve you been#and eunyung sends a photo of himself like in the mountains or some shit with no context#hes like yeah i joined an expedition lol ive been living in the woods for 3 months#they go like a full year without talking and haejoon goes wonder what hes up to and its always something crazy#i think thats how theyd have to be i think if the less time they soend together the better friends they are#eunyung: i joined a commune i think its a cult tho idk its kinda fun#haejoon: please just fucking use my guest room for the love of god#eunyung transitions and visits for the holidays because juwan invited him and haejoons like#something is different. is it weird if i ask. does everyone else know. will they think im homophobic if i ask#eunyung: hey can i bring my boyfriend to thanksgiving#haejoon: absolutely fucking not.#eunyung: homophobic.#haejoon: im gay bitch i dont want anyone youre dating in my house regardless of gender. im going to hate them.#haejoon sends him job listings and apartments and is like i will drive you to your interview please get a normal job#and stop getting involved in multi level marketing schemes#and eunyung goes no 🫶 die#i hust wanted to talk about them. miss them. i caught up to my translation im reading and now i gotta wait for updates
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poppyseed799 · 1 year ago
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btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.
#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad#trafficblr#life series#secret life spoilers#secret life smp#jimmy solidarity#also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!!#LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT#HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST#having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few#days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community.#LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL#I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore#does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character#cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of#WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man
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climbdraws · 2 years ago
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cat chomps me cause he's overstimulated while being pet but also purring extremely loud just reminds me of that "forgive me Lisa there is a Gougar inside of me 😔" post
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hassianlovebot · 1 month ago
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i've seen some people talk about einar's romance dialogue and how it feels offputting and rude to him but i'm gonna be honest,,, i never really saw it that way?
like i do agree that the player's dialogue options Suck compared to the other romances. something about it just feels really childish and definitely not as,,, "serious" or even committed as the other romance dialogue options. that being said, it never felt patronizing toward him.
to me, it feels like the player is just. being human. while einar is being galdur. the player doesn't get mad at him for not understanding certain jokes or not showing affection in the same way. and einar doesn't get uncomfortable with the player being human, making human jokes, or showing human affection. they're just Being Human and sharing their humanness with einar. which einar, while not always understanding of it, is completely used to and Does understand and enjoy it later on in the 3-4 levels. not that he didn't enjoy it before, but once you get closer to him, he Does understand more of the jokes and even joins in on certain ones (like the catch one!).
idk man it just always felt like the player and einar are just sharing their perspectives, personalities, and culture with each other. and of course there is the chocolate thing where he says he doesn't need it and the player has to learn what he actually wants from the relationship (ie spending time together). and there are still jokes that he ends up taking seriously, which yknow, that's kind of what i meant when i said the player's options often feel very childish compared to other ones. but it just never came off as patronizing to me, especially since einar repeatedly says that he enjoys spending time with the player and engaging in their "togetherness".
like to me it always felt like he enjoys learning about new things, even if he doesn't want to participate. like at the maji market when he says that while he doesn't understand the hotpot game, watching it fills him with "oneness". he enjoys learning about human and majiri culture and seeing them just be themselves! none of his dialogue implies that he's uncomfortable with the way the player shows affection (there Is something to be said about the dialogue options only ever showing one form of it,,, but tbf they can't put in 50+ options to cover the minutia of human brains lol)
idk i want to be clear im not shitting on anyone else's opinion on this!!! there's room for all perspectives here. i just wanted to share! i've seen SO many people say that romancing einar feels patronizing and like. i've just never seen it that way ! and it always confuses me when i see it akjhgd tbf i think some people are also neurodivergent (same lol) and don't appreciate the dialogue options that einar doesn't understand because in real life it Does feel patronizing when someone does it on purpose even knowing you won't get it. but for me, einar being galdur and not a neurodivergent human/majiri is an important distinction. he shows multiple times that he enjoys learning about human cultures and perspectives, that he enjoys talking to the player even when they don't understand each other, and that he's capable of understanding the player's jokes and sarcasm once explained to him. he Likes that they're different !
einar seems to enjoy the player acting "human" with him because he gets to learn about them! and he wouldn't want them stifle their true personality just to please him! einar is alllll about being true to yourself, your beliefs, your oneness, etc. he wants the player to understand him and his affection, but he also wants to understand the player's personality and affection. he wants them to share each other's "quirks". and don't get me wrong, i do wish there was more we could do to share in his way of affection (especially if his way is our way,,, like i'm Not flirty or jokey like that irl at all and i'd love to have more options where it really is just "hi i enjoy parallel playing with you :)))" lol) and that the dialogue options were less jokey or at least more affectionate/serious but idk,,, i think for me, i've just always seen einar as someone who wants to know and appreciate everything about the player, even the things he doesn't Immediately understand. he wants the player to explain things and share their culture with him SO bad
#long post#(sorry)#i just have so many thoughts!!#its so interesting to see how people feel about the npcs#like ive also seen Multiple people say that tish feels really naive and kind of rude but ive never seen her that way#she's not naive she's just upbeat and not involved in the cartel lol#like reth Intentionally hides it from her so she doesnt feel bad - that doesnt mean she doesnt understand how the world works yknow?#but thats a dif convo#or like how some people think kenli is very goofy silly and i find him really annoying akjgdh#i DO agree that the player dialogue options Often suck ass and there are so many times where just. none of them are good#and i would love it if they revamped the romance dialogue options with einar because.. So fucking childish i hate it#but idk they just never felt patronizing to me#it always felt like the player was just being human and not going out of their way to be like a galdur#which from everything we know einar's personality and background - i personally think he appreciates that a lot#because it means he gets to learn more about humans which is basically one of his onenesses#i agree that his romance is def not traditional and honestly feels more... aroace + demi? ish?#and honestly sometimes it feels like the devs intentionally made His romance dialogue somewhat vague and not like#the majiri npcs. like there's a noticeable difference in how he talks and shows affection and its not Just his personality#but again dif convo that's not the point ajkhg#idk i feel like for this it really depends on the intention and how the other person feels#the players intention is never to be patronizing and einar himself doesnt feel like it is#so like. PERSONALLY i just never saw it that way#sorry - im saying personally and 'to me' a lot cause i dont want this to come off as like rude or vaguey#i just didnt want to add in on anyone's conversation with a big wall of text essentially going 'i disagree' aljdhg#like again !! i respect everyone's opinion on this !!!#but i wanted to share! cause ive seen sooo many people say this! but i also know it can suck to have some rando on your post going 'nah'#aljdhg#einar#i Really want to hear more opinions on this like what do you guys think !! does the player dialogue sound mean to you?#or like patronizing? uncomfortable? misleading? etc??
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spikeyjo · 2 months ago
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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taeyungie · 1 year ago
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😺
#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet#i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean#he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today#and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this#its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back#but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason#he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much.#he would want that for all of us right#but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus#the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months.#thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time#and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol#my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most#when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most.#but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway#i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit#i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody#because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right#and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated.#i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do.#to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him#nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it#anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓#please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓#we have esch other and we will be okay 💓#sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓
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fiendishartist2 · 1 year ago
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the bar for "revolutionary" webhorror is so low. what happened
#god lord im so sick of itttttttt ToT#if you dont know analogue horror is on is deathbed and now ppl are onto ''digital horror''#which is the same thing except using digital mediums instead of analogue (like the internet instead of vhs)#and i do mean the same thing lol nothing has changed#not the conventions of storytelling not the limitations of the medium not the types of scares it presents#the only thing that has changed is the aesthetic. and that is unbelievably sad#if youre going to do a horror series based in the internet then why not.... actually use the medium of the internet for horror#theres so many scary things about the internet (esp early internet!!!!!) and yet no one is using that for their series#just the same old ''missing children's spirit communicating through tape oops i mean the website :)'' like cmon man.... :(#why not use things like viruses or the sudden connection to any and everyone through the internet or early hoaxes/creepy ads#lack of regulation on the early internet or the isolating/uncanny aesthetics of old hardware (kid me was so scared of computers lol)#or literally anything else that is DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO THE MEDIUM YOUR SERIES IS BASED ON#does anyone else on earth care about this or am i just picky??? hello???#i just want smth that leaves a genuine impact. i just want a series that feels like smth thats never been done before#i just want webhorror that knows what it wants to be and fits neatly into the confines of its medium#petscop felt like a real videogame. it felt like smth i could see in an ''obscure ps1 games youve never heard about!!'' video#it had a will they wont they about whether or not the game was actually talking to paul (through ghosts or other users etc)#but it was never in your face and it was left just vague enough that instead of breaking immersion it sucked you in even more#paul felt like a real person playing a real game and experiencing genuine fear and obsession alongside the audience#there was never a point where the screen started turning red and pauls voice became distorted and ''scary'' while creepy imagery popped up#bc petscop works entirely within the limitations of a man playing a videogame. no more no less#thats the kind of dedication to the medium that i want!!!!!!#i only critique webhorror so much bc its my favourite type of horror and i want it to improve
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ichigosoju · 5 months ago
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💭
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