#does NOT change the fact that it’s. gross. always has been. it was just acceptable to be gross back then.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

me writing a letter to schell games about how much i love their female characters in ieytd ESPECIALLY WHEN COMPARED TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (scary) (horny)

[miwiromantics]

Let’s talk about this.

Why both will and el are so connected is because they both have the same storyline. They both have the same end purpose: acceptance.

!!warning: long post ahead!!

Will’s storyline: acceptance of love.

Unlike what most milevens believe, the duffers aren’t planning to end Will’s story with him accepting that he is gay because he HAS already accepted it. He accepted the fact that he was gay and in love with Mike, hence, the painting.

The painting, from the start, was a way of Will confessing his feelings (etc. you’re the heart) but it was never going to be said out loud. He had just planned to give it to Mike during the airport scene and it was supposed to be over.

But instead, he used it as a way to build up Mike’s confidence in himself and also lead up to say ‘I love you’ to El. He used El as a shadow over his own feelings to help Mike.

Will accepts that he likes men and is attracted to Mike. What he doesn’t accept is that he is going to fall in love. We see this in season 3 when he’s talking with Joyce.

This was a scene directly after a canon couple’s scene. Both Jonathan and Nancy are in fact in love with each other and when Joyce says the words ‘you won’t think it’s gross when you fall in love’ it indicates she meant when Will is in a relationship, not when Will is some one-sided love triangle.

So when Will says he isn’t going to fall in love, he is saying this because he knows he’s feelings in a relationship are not going to be reciprocated. He isn’t saying it because he hasn’t fallen in love with someone, he’s saying that it’s impossible for those feelings to be mutual.

Also to remind you, there was no need to put this scene in the first place if it was not hinting at something. It could’ve just been Jonathan and Nancy getting away and Joyce wiping lipstick off his face, indicating that she knew Nance was there anyway.

Throughout season 3, we can clearly notice that Will is struggling with something not related to the mind flayer. He’s struggling with his childhood, his friends and change. And the most important change is his feelings towards a certain friend.

Because of these feelings we get the rain scene. This was Will struggling to accept that he was different (gay) and in love with Mike. This was season 3’s struggle. But in season 4, through the painting, we see it’s been resolved.

He has accepted this but knows he isn’t going to be in love. He knows he’s feelings aren’t going to be reciprocated. So he does the next best thing other than confessing, and help mileven build up their already broken relationship.

Even more so, the scene with Jonathan and Will in the pizza place was acceptance enough for Will to come out. Both Will and Jonathan knew what they were talking about, the subtexts were very obvious. This was the acceptance of Will being gay and in love with Mike.

Now anybody with a right mind would see that this is clearly building up to something more important. A gay boy who thinks he’s feelings are not going to be accepted using he’s only way of confessing as a tool for a problematic ‘straight’ couple.

We must give the duffers credit as we know they aren’t just going to ignore Will’s feelings next season or slap him with some background character as a way of resolving this. There has to be more.

El's storyline: acceptance of independence.

Throughout her whole life, El has always been told what to do. Whether it has been for positive or negative means, she's never made a decision in her entire life leading up to season 2.

Let's be clear that before this girl knew the word 'friend', 'family' and 'love' meant, she had already gotten into a relationship. That before she ever knew what she liked and disliked, she was already in a relationship with the supposed boy of her dreams.

Anyways, independence is something so rooted in El’s storyline. It’s something repeated throughout the seasons. We see it in season 2 when she goes out on her own to find her mother and sister. It is important to note that Mike was not a part of this journey. Mike was not the sole focus or someone El thought she needed at that time.

Even in season 3, we are given the fact that El has never made a decision for herself. The strongest decision we ever see that season was her breaking up with Mike and even that has been disregarded by milevens, saying that Max influenced her or that she ‘didn’t know what she was doing’ or that ‘she’s just a teenager’.

Let’s be clear that anybody in a relationship is given the option to break up and leave the relationship if they want to. Max did not ‘influence’ her, she merely gave her the option. The option that is rightfully hers. By saying that it wasn’t really her decision or that she didn’t know what she was thinking, it’s like saying she doesn’t have an option.

She has the right to leave a relationship if she wants to.

The words ‘not hopper, not mike, you’ is so important to a character like El. A character that has been locked up and dependent throughout her life, finally given a choice to decide for herself is powerful.

Season 3 is important in El’s arc to independence because unlike what Milevens say, she doesn’t require Mike to be there for her to feel complete. The reason that El went to find Mike in season 2 was because they need each other is debunked in season 3. It shows that even when Mike is within her reach, she doesn’t go find him.

Now in season 4, we see a very big shift in her attitude from the previous seasons. She’s pretending to have a normal life when she clearly isn’t. She’s lying and hiding behind a fake persona to make her seem happy. She is still grieving from hopper while trying to put everything behind her and live a ‘normal’ life.

She, like many milevens, is building a reality where her and Mike are the supposed perfect couple. A reality where they are truly in love. She lies to Mike and herself throughout the rink-o-mania scene. And this all unfortunately breaks when Angela (that bitch) comes into the picture.

She throws El’s persona into the fire and absolutely humiliates her in front of the one person she didn’t want to be humiliated in front of. And this is where we see their relationship break (even more).

We see the first crack when El says that Mike doesn’t understand how she feels. To be honest, she’s right. Mike didn’t know how it felt to move to a whole new side of the country without her father and to be subjected to brutal bullying. But disregarding his feelings towards bullying is also something she does.

Now the curtains are open and everything is shown. We then get a scene of El basically pleading Mike to tell her he loves her. But instead of admitting it, Mike gaslights her and tells her their problems are caused by other people.

Mike says he says he loves her but if this was really the most important couple in the show I’m sure the duffers would’ve included the supposed scenes where Mike and El say they love each other TO EACH OTHER. And when she brings out proof, he calls her ridiculous.

Even in the van scene, he says that he’s scared that El won’t need him anymore. He wants to feel like a hero to her, someone that can protect her when in reality, she is way past it. She wants him to love her but he wants her to need him. He wants her to be dependent on him.

Through the beginning of season 4, we see her define herself in the way Mike sees her. While giving him a false narrative of her life, she pretends she lives in them. Plastering a fake smile just so that Mike would think she’s enjoying herself in Lenora and lying about parties to make herself seem cool.

You can see how defeated she looks when she realises that Mike might not love her at all.

She, like so many more milevens, want Mike to be the perfect lover, the person who is with her through all her problems and a shoulder to cry on. But he isn’t that person and she knows it.

But after she leaves Mike, we can truly see what her goals are. There isn’t a scene throughout her journey where she thinks of Mike and you can see her gain more confidence in herself, once again proving that she doesn’t need him to feel complete.

She does better without him.

Her arc was never about romance. Her arc was about finding who she truly is. It was about her finding a place in this world where she doesn’t have to be the hero or villain in the story. It was about her growing alongside the people she loves and the family she built.

We see that she realises that she is her own superhero, that she can solve her own problems and that she doesn’t need a shoulder to cry on. She can take on a challenge headfirst without letting anyone define who she is.

She doesn’t need Mike telling her that he loves her to realise that she is loved or that she can live a normal and happy life just like how she doesn’t need to forgive brenner to know that she is a good person. She is her own person.

And before anybody comes at me, yes. A woman can be in a relationship and still be independent. But once it come to a point of lying about and to yourself and defining who you are through another person’s feelings, it is not healthy.

She has taken on challenges before Mike, during Mike and will continue to do so after Mike (and all this happened without Mike). She doesn’t need him.

Both Will and El need support and love through their journey. It only comes down to what type of love they need that’s important. El does not need romantic love to thrive while that’s the only love Will is lacking.

Anyways we also clearly see that in the end El is on her own journey and that Mike and Will are a team alongside all the other endgame couples.

So byler endgame and El independent arc era.

(My writing is a bit sloppy here and there so if there are any questions regarding it pls ask. Also again, sorry for long post)

[gabessquishytum]

That ask of dream having to work the summer at one of his family's resorts and being perved on by hob is so delicious to me. But consider: hob is very rich and powerful, yes. But nowhere NEAR the level of the Endless family and would probably never have even talked to the cute shy waiter who had no idea what he was doing if he knew who dream was. Dream knows this. He really considers telling his supervisor about hob bc it would be taken care of by dinner but he kinda likes the attention... hes always thought people only talked to him bc his family name but here hob is catcalling him across the pool and laughing at him when it makes dream spill his tray of drinks. Hob has no idea how this kid got THIS particular job but hes very glad he decided on extending his stay and might do so again:) hob is constantly demanding dream as his server and tucks his more than generous tips in the band of dreams tiny shorts before sending him off again with a slap to his ass. Hob is mostly playing chicken when he tells dream change into his swimsuit and let hob teach him to swim but dream AGREES and returns in the rarely chosen uniform one piece suit and hob can finally see his little tits cupped by something tighter than the sadly shapeless uniform polo. Hob "accidentally" sends it off to laundry forcing him to remain shivering in his swimsuit and dream knows thats a lie but hob calls him pretty and offers him a drink in apology. Then another, because dream deserves it for working so hard. He cant say no when hob tells him hes going to a yacht party that evening as hobs guest instead of an employee. The last minute addition means theres not enough chairs at dinner but hob waves his protests away and pulls dream onto his lap, keeping him quiet with a glass of wine to his lips and his other hand up dreams dress. Dream is wasted as he walks back to his room with his shoes in hand, he figured he should leave when hob got pulled into conversation when they got back. Hes frustrated because hob never made him come but theres another waiter dreams age whos hes sure has been giving him looks behind those shades and maybe Corinthian is capable of pleasuring him unlike hob :/ hob is pissed his arm candy left before he could get dream to beg for relief writhing on silk sheets but he does get to break rodrick burgess' nose for touching whats HIS and if his pretty boy thinks this was for moral reasons? Hey, hob is eager to accept dreams gratitude and dream rethinks his opinions about hobs sexual prowess when hes got dream moaning on his dick til sunrise.

-🔪

I'm sooooo thirsty about this au. I just love the idea of Hob teasing Dream until he's a little riled up mess, bless him. All those touches with those big warm hands have him aching, and maybe he shouldn't want it... but oh, he does. Its the fact that he could stop it at any time, that he technically has the power in the situation... but Hob doesn't know that. So Dream can really lose himself in his helpless slutty waiter fantasy.

When Hob finds Dream after the yacht party, they even have a little "fight" - Dream says that he's sick of Hob being gross, he's going to call Cori to take him to bed and report Hob for harassment tomorrow! And Hob is holding the hand that he used to punch Burgess and he's like "oh :((( OK I guess. You should know that Roderick won't bother you again by the way, I knocked him out." And Dream is like "oh? you defended my honour?"

And they fall into bed immediately. Hob tears Dream’s dress down the side seams and eats him out until he's thrashing and crying, the bedside lamp is on the floor, the sheets are soaked because Dream squirted everywhere. When he finally gets fucked he's just gushing, coming all over Hob’s dick as soon as its inside him, moaning until he's hoarse as Hob lifts him up and down with one hand. He's never had sex like this. Every slap on the arse, every lewd comment, its all worth it. Hob is some kind of sex-god disguised as a rich asshole.

They sleep in late next morning and Hob is like "won't you be in trouble for skipping work?" Dream just smiles and straddles Hob’s thighs for another go... And that's how Hob finds out that he's been perving on the prized third son of the Endless family...

[wendytestabrat]

gerald is spitting straight out facts abt kyle LOL

ok i loved how s20 rlly explored gerald & kyle’s dynamic and how much of a strained relationship they have and how gerald is closer to ike & likes him more and understands him better than kyle. it makes sense tho that gerald & ike would have a special bond with each other bc they’re the more laid back and chill ones of the family compared to kyle & sheila LOL. and bc they’re both guys too which s20 rlly explored when gerald kept having all those one on one talks with ike to talk abt guy humor and shit. it’s obvious gerald can’t have these kinds of talks with kyle and talk abt fucked up gross shit bc kyle is just gonna get all upset and be a huge drama queen as usual. so i feel like this is def part of the reason why kyle is so fucked up bc he feels neglected af by BOTH his parents and misunderstood & unloved since he’s his dad’s least fav child. i also feel like that’s the whole reason behind why kyle is so damn preachy all the time and constantly has to yell at everyone and force his beliefs on them bc he feels like no one is listening to him or cares bc it’s shown his parents ignore him A LOT, unlike cartman’s mom who gives him wayyy too much attention and smothers him. cartman & kyle are both narcissists who constantly crave validation but for different reasons. cartman thinks everything is all about him bc he gets TOO MUCH attention and always gets his way wheras kyle thinks everything is abt him bc he’s a total victim who feels like NOTHING goes his way and no one acknowledges him. but also the fact that kyle doesn’t even act like a normal boy and is gay af and has a lot of feminine qualities by getting all overly sensitive and worrying abt dumb shit like a girl does is prob a HUGE reason why he doesn’t connect with gerald as much as ike does. and i def think this is a HUGE reason why kyle is in the closet and doesn’t wanna admit he’s gay LOL. gerald prob makes kyle feel like he’s not the son he wanted and he doesn’t like how kyle can’t act like a normal dude and laugh abt dumb shit. i feel like gerald might be homophobic af which was shown in “mr garrison’s fancy new vagina” how he had a problem with lgbt shit when he didn’t like mr garrison having a sex change. and then sheila gets on his ass lecturing him abt how being trans is perfectly fine and he should be more tolerant. so that’s why i feel like sheila would def be the way more accepting parent abt kyle being gay than gerald (AND it’s been shown she gets along well with cartman too). so yeah it makes sense kyle wouldn’t wanna come out as gay if his dad doesn’t like it and basically shuns him for all of the gay qualities he already has LOL. that’s also why i feel like kyle overcompensates by acting all aggressive and feisty af all the time (and of course hiding being gay would make someone rlly pissy and irritable too), it’s his way of trying to seem more tough and maculine than he rlly is bc he’s embarrassed abt the side of himself that’s rlly just soft and nurturing af. but at the same time i feel like kyle still has a closer relationship with gerald than sheila (which could also be a BIG reason he’s in the closet bc he cares abt gerald’s opinion the most as the parent he looks up to more) bc he’s not as crazy and off the wall as her LOL. even tho kyle is way more similar to his mom than his dad i feel like kyle still tries his best to be more like his dad and model after him bc he knows damn well his mom is just a fat bitch whom no one should be like even tho he won’t admit it and gets mad whenever anyone points it out.

[fairycheol]

nct 127 as older brothers

warnings: implied fem!reader, mentions of food, periods, minor injury and mental health issues

서영호

Johnny loves teasing the crap out of you, in front of family, his friends, YOUR friends, and especially around anyone he knows you like. (why you gotta be like that John ☹️)

He’s very overprotective. Luckily no one has ever tried anything with you cause ain’t nobody trying to get a 6ft tattooed man threatening to shove them in a locker (he has fr said this).

Given that Johnny was an only child for like half of his life when you first came into the picture he was NOT happy. He never liked to hold you or even sit next to you, he just thought you were gross. (it’s a baby johnny be fr)

As time went on though he grew to actually like you 😱. No but seriously, he’s very proud of the person you’ve become and tries to show up to very important events that you have because you’re his younger sibling and he loves you that much.

이태용

If i remember correctly Taeyong already has an older sister so when he found out he was getting ANOTHER sister, bro almost broke down.

Actually no he did in fact have a break down.

Unlike Johnny tho, he swore from the second you took your first breath that he was gonna nurture and care for you. He was acting more like a mom than your actual mom 🤦‍♀️

He makes you breakfast, lunch and dinner. Always has the pantry filled with your favorite snacks. He does your hair even when you don’t want him to and most importantly he keeps you from loosing your sanity.

When it came to school Taeyong always made sure you weren’t exhausting yourself physically or mentally. He’d let you cry in his arms for however long necessary to get all the nasty feelings out.

中本悠太

Yuta also already has sisters so when you were born he simply accepted having a brother would probably never happen.

Because of his older sisters Yuta is great at painting your nails, doing your make-up and doing your hair. He’s also very careful around you when it’s yk that time of the month. He’s been traumatized before and he is not gonna risk anything.

He LIVES for any school drama and it’s mandatory you give him every single detail, he’ll sit crisscross on your carpet listening to you rant while giving his two cents,

“no way she did that!” “see i never trusted her smth about the way she walks” “what a two faced bitch like seriously 😒 “

yeah he loves gossiping.

김동영

Doyoung was a little awkward when you were born because he was used to playing with other guys so having to be taught how to play with a baby let alone a girl was a little confusing.

He caught on relatively quick though (he got some paternal instincts fs) and was settling in to being a protective older brother just fine.

The two of you would eventually team up to bully your eldest brother because well it’s just what obnoxious younger siblings do.

Back to the paternal instincts, Doyoung for sure has you promise to message him every hour when you go out with friends and insist he pick you up from school or anything that involves you being gone for hours at a time.

One time, you got stood up on a date and when he picked you up and eventually got you home he snooped through your phone (cause you knocked out after crying) found the guys address and was almost arrested for destroying someone’s property.

Don’t mess with Doyoung.

정윤오

Jaehyun is just a weird older brother. That’s just the vibe he gives me. He doesn’t really care what you do or who you hang out with but if any of his friends try flirting with you *cough* Johnny *cough* then he’s gonna get overprotective,

“i love my friends but they CAN NOT be trusted in relationships, they all function on one collective brain cell” Nvm Doyoung might be the only one he trusts around you.

Jaehyun def thinks your an obnoxious little shit after you tour his ass apart for legally changing his name to YoonOh (why Jae? WHY?!), but that’s just what he gets for always making fun of you.

I also think he’s the type of brother to ask your opinion on a girl before he asks her out and if you have a y problems with a girlfriend of his cause let’s say she’s being a bitch, he 100% listens to you and breaks up with them. Love that for him.

김정우

Yk how Jungwoo kind of kept his older sister a secret? Yeah the members didn’t find out about you till like a few months ago and it was in the worst way possible.

Jungwoo was bringing the entirety of 127 to your parents house and stepped out for some groceries and told nobody you’d be getting home from school so walking through the front door you were met with a bunch of grown men standing on top of your couch holding pillows up as protection 💀.

Jungwoo likes to bring up that moment and any other embarrassing moments of yours that he’s witnessed to make fun of you, like the time at a dance recital you tripped and face planted in front of everyone. (you were 6)

Jungwoo is another MAJOR gossip queen. It’s to the point y’all have code names for people (which like same), but it really makes no sense since Jungwoo is never gonna interact with your classmates you have drama with 😭.

이민형

Idk why but Mark gives me the vibe that he’s an older brother who for some reason is just terrified of you 😭. From day one bro has kept his distance and i think he has the mindset that he’s gonna do smth to upset you so he’d rather play it safe.

The whole distance thing changed when he began spending like 90% in the SM building training at the age of 13. He got really homesick and missed the full family moment’s.

He’s a great listener tho, when school is getting stressful or arguments with friends/significant others occur he’s gonna let you talk through your feelings and on some occasions he’ll give you advice.

He’s def written poems about his family, like i’m thoroughly convinced he has written for his mom, dad his brother and now YOU 🫵🏼, it’s his way of showing his appreciation without yk, getting embarrassed having to verbally say anything.

idk if you can tell but i started running out of ideas so please give requests even if my writing is bad 🤟🏼.

[rottentiger-art]

Ugh the bathtub scene!!!! So underrated!!!!!! Little introverted Quinn sitting in the bathtub because she’s overwhelmed and the way she immediately started talking about clogged drains was so cute lol. Like she’s still Quinn you know. I love the idea of her just blurting out facts when she’s uncomfortable, it’s a cue for Zoey, Logan. Etc to know somethings wrong. (Now I’m thinking about Logan not even being phased when Quinn just blurts out random facts 🥺🥺)

ANYWAY, also the whole “i never imagined a wedding but I fell in love with someone who did, I want to do this for him” the way her face SOFTENS when she thinks about Logan and how happy this makes him. Such an indication to what a strong couple they are and how much they love eachother, don’t take eachother for granted and have the other as their priority.

I did like that moment, despite my reluctance to accept (and my hate) Zoey as Quinn's best friend, that scene showed she does care for her and might be the only time on the movie JLS had chemistry with someone (my hate may make me biased but while I recognize she has improved on her acting, I did not feel her give... much). It was nice to see Quinn having that moment of vulnerability with a friend and of course her nerdy comments and fact droppings like she used to, I wish there were more moments like that in the movie.

I like to think Logan is endeared by her when she starts talking about science stuff. I mean, everything she says turns him in the embodiment of the heart-eyes emoji lol, so I wouldn't be surprised if her science talk has the same effect. I can't remember if we saw him react to her fact dropping once they got together in the show (besides the moment on "Dinner for Two Many" where she says something gross about the food they were eating and everyone including Logan were grossed out)

But I also loved the scene it showed how much Quinn loves Logan. We always fawn over how head over heels he's for her, but we don't talk as much about how Quinn is just as in love (or at least I hadn't been doing much on that part)

I am conflicted about the whole "Quinn never dreamed of a wedding", bc to me Quinn has always been a hopeless romantic that just lacked of social skills. Quinn was feminine and into romantic things while still being independent, feminist, girlboss in the making and all that, in my perspective. Both Logan and Quinn are into romance, despite their contradictory personalities imo, and that's something I always loved.

But despite that, I really liked we got a scene proving she's as willing to change and compromise for Logan as he is for her. This scene, accompanied to Logan's "I only want what you want" and settling for a wedding she feels more comfortable in, bc he also cares more about her than a ceremony, is a beautiful way of showing why they stood the test of time. Why they were and still are the best couple of the show and movie.

I just fucking love these two so much omfg

[summerroomspring]

random thoughts about the 'cookie dough' speech

Buffy Summers : I'm well aware of my stellar history with guys... (sighs, leans beside Angel) And, no, I don't see fat grandchildren in the offing with Spike, but I don't think that really matters right now. (chuckles) You know, in the midst of all this insanity, a couple things are actually starting to make sense. And the guy thing— (sighs) I always feared there was something wrong with me, you know, because I couldn't make it work. But maybe I'm not supposed to.

Okay. I'm cookie dough... I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m- or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then... that's fine. That'll be then... when I'm done.

Angel : Any thoughts on who might enjoy... Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?

Buffy Summers : I'm not really thinking that far ahead. That's kind of the point.

Angel : I'll go start working on the second front. Make sure I don't have to use it.[starts to leave] 

Buffy Summers : Angel... I do... sometimes think that far ahead.

Angel : Sometimes is something.

Buffy Summers : Be a long time coming. Years, if ever.

Angel : I ain't gettin' any older.

I've never liked this speech, and not just because I find the "warm cookie Buffy" metaphor gross. Like a lot of things in Chosen, it feels like it's here because "something for the Bangel shippers" and "a female empowerment moment where Buffy realizes it's okay to be single for awhile so that shippers will leave us alone" were both on the writers' checklist of things that should be in a BTVS finale, rather than because it made sense for the story and characters.

Buffy having a moment where she realizes that maybe it's okay if she doesn't "make it work" with a guy for awhile feels like a weird lesson to learn. Has Buffy been obsessed with finding the right guy for the past couple seasons? She was never trying to make it work with Spike, they never even dated. Her relationships with Spike and Riley both suffered from her being emotionally closed off (maybe because she still saw Angel as her true love and couldn't commit to anyone else) not her being afraid to be alone and desperate to make things work.

Also, does this speech take place in an alternate dimension where Angel isn't the one who broke up with Buffy, and Buffy "brushing him off for Spike" is the reason Bangel aren't together? Am I the only one who remembers how Angel left her because he wanted her to have a normal life, and he couldn't give that to her?

Despite the fact that Angel's the one who left Buffy, and seems to have accepted the fact they're not together (even when Buffy died, Angel mourned but was okay) in Chosen he's acting like he's been rejected by her, or like he's changed his mind for unexplained reasons and suddenly thinks they could be together. Considering Angel's behavior in this episode and ATS S5, it starts to seem like Angel's sudden pining after Buffy has less to do with him changing his mind about the likelihood of him and Buffy ever being able to be together, and is either triggered entirely by his rivalry with Spike, or by the fact that his family in L.A. has fallen apart, and retreating into an old fantasy of being with Buffy some day is a coping mechanism for him.

I don't mind Angel's bejavior in TGIQ (where he also acts like a rejected ex of Buffy's) as much as I do here, because there it's just transparently played for comedy because the writers found Spike and Angel's dynamic hilarious. And I also like Spike and Angel's dynamic, so I'll take it.

[proshipezreal]

Ok so I saw you say you were happy to explain some stuff so. I've gotten to the point where I'm just like,,, idek why this all got blown up. Like yeah some shit makes me genuinely uncomfortable but also. Some ppl deal with their own trauma and shit that way. Idk where I stand in anything and I thought I'd ask for your pov? Like ik youre on the proshipping side but that's the point. I want to have a genuine conversation with someone abt this. A lot of the stuff I see on both ends is just really aggressive sounding and I'm kind of sick of it (like anyone sending anyone death threats is just fucked). So if you're willing I want to know your pov.

I don't think fictional effects reality on a 1:1 scale, but I still think it can play a part in shaping how people think. But ik it's a good way to explore topics in a safer way and I think getting rid of all depictions of smth is stupid. I genuinely don't get some stuff but I want to know your and others sides. I wish there was some way to just talk about this without ppl losing their minds (not directed at anyone in particular, I've just seen people (including antis. def including antis like holy shit) get way worked up).

Obv you're not needed to respond. Ik you have your own life. I thought I would just ask. This is a lot of text so thanks even if you just read it.

Hi!! So there's not really a question you're asking here, you're just kinda rambling, so I'm not sure what kinda response you were looking for but after reading this a few times this is what I've come up with:

Disclaimer: I'm gonna get real personal here but I promise it has a point.

I'm someone who has extreme homicidal tendencies, I have since I was a kid. And I've regularly consumed horror and slasher content from a young age. But never once have I seen a murder or violent scene in fiction that made me believe it would be okay to act on my impulses. I've always known that it's wrong, and no matter how many villains I sympathize with and can understand their actions, it's never made me think that killing was good or acceptable. Yes, I can understand why someone would do it, but it's never once changed how I viewed right or wrong, even as a kid.

We all agree video games don't cause violence, right? And we all know that correlation does not equal causation, right?

So why does that logic get thrown out the window the moment it's shipping or darkfic instead of video games.

The average person learns to distinguish fiction from reality at a very young age. Sure, not everyone can and or not everyone figures it out at the same time. But ultimately the average person older than 15 can tell a difference between fiction and reality. The average person does not let fiction they consume shape their morals. Yes, there's always going to be outliers that do, but they're few and far between when you really consider how popular fiction and even dark fiction is.

Fiction is supposed to affect your emotions, it's supposed to make you feel something, not think it.

I've been in almost exclusively abusive relationships (none of my current ones are, thankfully <3) and using unhealthy, "gross", taboo, and even triggering(to myself) topics in fiction with my little dolls and daydreams has helped me cope with the fact it's not my fault, it's helped me be able to overcome certain triggers, and has even helped me make certain realizations about myself along the way. Even without that being the intent. Sometimes you just want to write a little fucked up story and all the sudden you're having a realization about something and texting your therapist at 3am.

Fiction is a powerful tool, but it's (usually) not powerful enough to reshape someone's whole world view. And if it does, that's not the fictions fault? A persons morals and their beliefs are their own choices and own thoughts and feelings. No one else is responsible for that. Plenty of people in bad situations turn out good and plenty of people in good situations turn out bad.

There's always, always, going to be something out there that makes you uncomfortable or even triggers you. But just because you have that reaction to it doesn't mean everyone does. Banning or even just limiting/censoring what other people do for your own comfort only helps you and harms countless others. The best thing you can do is block people, block tags, filter words, don't cross tag, and don't go searching for stuff you know upsets you on purpose.

[rise-my-angel]

I find it so funny that the North is such a brawny masculine place and yet the Starks and a lot of the other family's feel way more feminist then any of the so called Queens in the show.

Like obviously in comparison to a more modern society, no they aren't particularly progressive, but in the terms of their own world, there are interesting hints that showcase they are actually a lot less rigid then their reputation precedes.

(Here's a read more beacuse I am living in Yap City apparently)

Maege Mormont is Lady of Bear Island, has never been married and has five girls, none of whom has an identifiable father and no one really bats an eye. She calls them Mormonts and so does everyone else. There's an interesting exchange between the Tarlys and Gilly when she and Sam are in Hornhill, where Sams mother after hearing that Gilly knows how to hunt, explains that she once met Greatjon Umber, who had taught his daughters how to hunt and Sams sister expresses interest in that beacuse her father never would bring her hunting.

Ned himself never looked back negatively at Lyanna in her interest in less formal Lady like duties, and thus he doesn't look down on Arya for it either. He at first struggles to allow his daughter to use a sword, but then he talks to her, hears she has a genuine interest in it, and goes out of his way to hire a tutor for her that can teach her a fighting style better for her then normal men learn. And when Arya explains to him that she does not see her future as marrying a lord and ruling his castle, Ned doesn't talk down to her. In fact he has to turn away from looking at her suddenly, because he starts to smile and hides that he isn't at all disappointed in her for it. She starts wearing pants, doesn't spend time fancying her hair, is covered in scrapes and bruises just like his sons growing up no doubt and even in the capital, never tries to get her to change.

He has visions for her from the way he grew up, but Ned is accepting that Arya is different and fosters her unique, more typically masculine traits beacuse those are what make her happy. Same with Jon, who was brought up just like any other Northern Lords son. He enjoys those things about Arya, and fosters that passion by making her a sword suited to her size and tells her just like his father does later, "This is no toy." He takes her interest seriously.

But like Ned, he also never is seen putting Sansa down for not being like that. Sansa at the start of the series is more traditionally feminine, and Jon nor other male Starks are ever seen looking down on her for it. She likes embroidery, cross stitching, she makes her own dresses and likes having her hair done all fancy and prides herself in being ladylike. (Jon and Aryas personal issues with Sansa are outside her femininity, Jons is her classist attitude being an extension of the way Catlyn treats him and Aryas is a resentment of Sansa's femininity soley out of an anger brewed from years of her and her friends bullying Arya).

Obviously they aren't perfect. The North has always practiced traditional inheritance, meaning sons before daughters. Sansa herself tells Sweet Robin that girls where she comes from didn't participate in things like executions and violence.

So lets talk about the typically most popular anti north/anti stark point against them: The First Night.

Now there's speculation of just how prevalent the practice of First Nights were in the North, which is the now mostly extinct tradition of a Lord or King having the right to bed the bride of a smallfolk couple on their wedding night. They could do it with highborn brides but this rarely took place as to avoid causing potential conflicts between great Houses. In ancient times, the men engaging in this were seen as strong and it was considered an honour. Which is dumb. We all know thats dumb, and that this was a gross practice.

But I have my own theories based on what we know of the people whom have actively spoken about it and what we know about the North in the first place. Now this did stem from The First Men, but considering the First Men's records of this started at The Dawn Age (before the Long Night so this is MORE then 8000 years prior to the start of the series).

Now note that the Andals when they arrived some 4 to 6 thousand years prior to the start of the series, they adopted this as well. Meaning this was not strictly a Northern thing, but more like a then culturally accepted thing. Much like how slavery in Westeros used to be culturally accepted. Like our world, times change and traditions fade until they are outlawed. Yes the First Night thing is gross, and eventually it was outlawed rather late.

But the mutiliating act of flaying men was also not outlawed until Ned Stark himself outlawed it. That doesn't mean it was a rampant tradition. Note that actually, the only Northern characters who participated in flaying, and also are directly referenced to First Nights, are the Boltons. Roose and Ramsay both indicate that this was something Roose Bolton still did in secret, much like how clearly they still flay their enemies when it's also outlawed.

Most likely, First Night was not a thing for a very long time. Most Lords and the Starks realized that this was not an acceptable traditon, and slowly it stopped. By the time the Targaryeans came and outlawed it, I'd find it more likely that it was a case like outlawing flaying.

It was not a universally practiced tradition, but those who did, went overboard with it until an authority figure had to step in and outlaw it just to force that specific party to stop. (Its the Boltons its always the Boltons, the Boltons were literally House Starks greatest opposition during their time as an independant Kingdom).

Thats usually the biggest flag against the North, the First Night. But I extend people to realize that it is highly unlikely it was a rampant tradition that was outlawed suddenly. That would've likely caused a big stir against the Targaryeans, suddenly outlawing a massively practiced tradition. More likely, no one really engaged in it anymore but those who still did (the Boltons cough cough), were enough to say enough is enough now its just outlawed. Like a "You clearly can't just behave like a civilized human being so now being a FREAK is illegal, grow up."

Female warriors are more common. No one bats an eye that Maege and Dacey Mormont are active and skilled warriors in Robb's army, they are just there amongst the sausage fest and there isn't this big subplot that they shouldn't be. Dacey even dances with Robb at one point and its noted how graceful of a dancer she is, meaning the Mormont women are clearly good balances of ladylike and engaging in masculine traits.

Because Northerners in universe have a reputation of being cold, stern, rigid, and uptight, I think people misidentify them as also being conservative in nature. But they aren't. Especially the Starks and the Mormonts. They value duty and honour but not through the disrespectful treatment of human life. The treatment we see of Northern women is much more open and fair then Southern women.

The Starks and the respect they still showed Arya despite her engaging in not ladylike behavior. The North in their simple acceptance of the Mormonts, and how the women run the island and do not confine themselves to that of marriage. Maege's daughter Alysane is also unmarried with two children who don't get called bastards. Not everyone is going to do this with theirs, but we never see other Northern characters actively look down on the Mormonts for these things. They are valued and welcome friends like any other.

Sansa gets treated like a stupid girl in Kings Landing beacuse she's just that, a girl. Whereas, Jon is constantly arguing with Sansa about his rulings, beacuse he does not treat her with kid gloves. He argues with her the way he argues with any of his men, her being a girl has nothing to do with why he shuts down her suggestions. (he shuts them down beacuse hes good at ruling and Sansa SUCKS at it)

Ned talks about wanting to find Sansa a better match "Someone whose brave and gentle and strong". Not because he wants to control her through marriage, but beacuse SHE wants to get married and he'd rather see her marry someone who will make her happy as opposed to someone who would just expert her to make him happy. Arya is only a couple years younger then Sansa, and Ned doesn't even entertain the subject of betrothals to her, because she does not engage with it.

He only tried to placate Lyanna about her unhappiness with marrying Robert, beacuse he was not in control. That was their fathers choice, Ned cannot change that and he recognizes Roberts faults. So he tries to say that maybe it won't be as bad as she thinks, because he cannot help her get out of it, so he tries to help her not be miserable about it.

The North is this harsh, brutal and masculine place, but it does not expect women to be the same, nor does it look down on women for engaging with that culture in either direction.

The clown car show portrays any women who does not fall into the "free independent woman" trope as either delicate like Helaena, or just plainly in the wrong, like Alicent. It's Rhaenyra's woman way or bust, no real argument there. And yet STILL, they portray both these women as soft who do not wish for war and bloodshed and blame the men in their life for causing this strife.

When in the books, Rhaenyra and Alicent BOTH wanted bloodshed and violence and vengeance. They were not just victims to the actions of the men around them, they took part in the same desire for action and war as those men, even if just not ON the battlefield.

Young Rhaenyra is actually far closer to this "feminist" angle they are going for. Beacuse while she is a petty, violent, arrogant, self centered brat, she has her own agency. She knows what she wants and takes it, for good or bad. She is in control of her life, and works around the control the men wish to impose on her for her own wants.

Adult Rhaenyra does nothing, cries, is powerless against what the men in her life do, and would rather prefer peace then being fucking violently angry at the woman who is protecting the man who killed her son. Alicent who I must emphasize, HELD A KNIFE UP TO RHAENYRA SHAKING IN ANGER, suddenly just wants her friend back and has no wants or needs beyond what everyone around her is doing separate of her involvement.

These women have no agency, but the show is not at all aware of that. They think this is the portrayal of equality we deserve.

Women who cannot control the brutish men and just want peace and have no thoughts and hangups of their own that define them as both good and bad at the same time. They are EITHER bad or good, but deep down, they're literally just mothers. We're mothers and so we do not want bloodshed.

Tell that to the version of Alicent that was ready to stab a bitch for her mutilated, now disabled sons sake. Where is that Alicent? Where is the Rhaenyra that said children scream like boars and then proceeded to later violently hack and slash at one because she actually enjoys the violent side of her life.

Where are these womens fucking agency beyond whatever the men are doing at any given time?

[sneezemonster15]

Why do like 90% of males think male homosexuality is disgusting? I read somewhere that they think it's as gross as rotten flesh 😭 also why do they laugh at it and make jokes about it too like they can't take it seriously? They're so insufferable, I see this so often. Not that I care about their opinions but they're the same kinda guys who gave yaoi loving girls the name fujoshi meaning "rotten girl" because that's how disgusting they thought they were. Freaks. It wasn't like this in ancient Greece, was it? What changed? Now they're more annoying. Before they were only misogynists and not homophobic but now they're both :/

Hah. This is one of the ramifications of the well entrenched patriarchal system in the midst of which, we live and operate. It has always been like this. Didn't happen overnight. It's intricate and quite a bit of it is invisibilised and the rest is normalised. It's better in some places, worse in others. But it's everywhere barring pockets of tribes which are matrilineal, which seem almost inconsequential in the larger picture of things.

Within the patriarchal set up, men also are conditioned to potentially satisfy certain expectations, whether it be of a provider or a leader, decision-maker. They are taught that certain things are acceptable where others are taboo. A heteronormative society, whether it be a man or a woman, would glorify or normalise heterosexuality and denigrate anything that comes into opposition with it. Heteronormativity is the narrative they grew up with, that's how they were conditioned. They were inspired by or impacted by their parents, neighbours, teachers, members of their peer group, also heteronormative, who reinforced these narratives and with time, they became a line that is not to be crossed. Taboo.

These dudebros online are just insecure little boys. That and very dumb. Naruto is shounen battle manga and most men/boys take it for granted that it's targeted at them (because it is) and they do end up enjoying it. When you have got super straight and super popular shounen MCs such as Luffy or Goku, it just reinforces the notion that Naruto also will be the same way. And Naruto the story does have all the nuts and bolts of a typical shounen manga, even if it also has a lot of other stuff that is a bit more subtle. A lot of dudebros really relate with Naruto and proudly. A lot of them incelish. Imagine how they would react to the fact that Naruto is gay. Lol. It really troubles their sense of masculine identity to think Naruto could be gay, that's why so many of them would get so bothered whenever Naruto would get super focussed on Sasuke. Lol. And so many of them think that Naruto was wrong to 'let Sasuke free' at the end. According to them, it was unpatriotic. Because that's what they think this story is about. Lol.

Like I said, most Naruto fans are way too attached to their lens. It's emotional for dudebros too. And you can't really argue with an emotionally affected illogical bigot. That's just too many odds against reason lol. They also think Itachi is hell's bells. Itachi is a Sigma male for them. I bet you can find many dudes who fangirl over both Itachi and Andrew Tate. Hahaha.

They are both misogynistic and homophobic, they have always been. Misogyny kinda goes hand in hand with homophobia with these men. Anything that threatens their narrative about men, women and their heteronormative m/f dynamic, will trigger this juvenile, bigoted behaviour in them. And their sense of entitlement as men makes them think they can get away with it. They do get away with a lot of times because reasonable fans usually don't invest in them, considering it a waste of time.

When I was in school, I had a few male members in my group. Three of these boys were very close. Straight boys. But you know, they were growing up, their hormones were welling up. One time, after graduating from school, we were drinking and one of these inebriated boys told me this. In school, after the sports period, they would take a shower together and sometimes, they would jerk each other off. Straight boys. They were curious and their sense of sexuality was not consciously set in stone. They didn't think of it as an overtly sexual act, for them, it was just boys having fun. They would get bored of jerking off themselves so someone else's hand did the trick for them. Another boy. A very good friend. When my friend later told me about it, he was aware how sexual an activity it was. He had realized that it was 'controversial', it was 'gay' and he felt guilty about it. He felt shame. So did the others, so they made a pact to never talk about it.

Kids often indulge in sexual acts while not being consciously aware about its nature. They are discovering their sexuality, their newly minted desire, their changing bodies, the unsettling surge of sex hormones. It's understandable. A lot of kids unconsciously experiment with overt or not so overt sexual acts without being consciously aware of what it implies. Which is understandable. I have heard such accounts from many men. They would never share it with another man though. Their sense of male masculine pride would shatter. Doesn't help that more often than not, there's no one to talk to them about it. Most parents don't, especially in conservative societies. No one to tell them what's right, what's acceptable, what's certainly not. Sex is still a very taboo subject among a lot of societies. Even reproductive sex, and not just recreational sex.

If someone had reassured those boys at the time, if someone had talked to them about it in a balanced way, perhaps their sense of sex and homosexuality/sexual orientation would be more mature, less prejudiced, more inclusive. Don't look at me, I was also quite young, I had not started delivering sermons and lectures yet haha. I did laugh my ass off when he told me though. It was not helpful at all. Hahahaha. You should have seen his face.

It's sad how so many grown and mature men still feel icky about homosexuality. I have seen so many of them who wouldn't be overtly homophobic but they would still show it in some way or the other. One time, i was working on a project where one of the team members was openly and flamboyantly gay, and my very 'liberal', foreign educated, upper middle class male boss hired him on an urgent basis and then appointed me to supervise him. One time, I needed some approvals so I told the boss to talk to him directly. He said no. He acted like it creeped him out, made him uncomfortable. For the rest of the project, I had to act as the liaison, which was fine for me, we became good friends. But it was pretty clear how 'open minded' my boss really was and how entitled he felt to be wearing the mantle of 'liberalism'. He was also a misogynist under the garb of feminism. Another member of the team, a woman, was fired by him. Now she was definitely to blame for her otherwise unprofessional behaviour, but one of her concerns about mistreatment by one of her own assistants (male) should have been addressed with respect. It wasn't. Instead, she was made fun of by the boss. He simply bypassed her complaint about harassment by her male assistant.

My boss would also make fun of the gay man behind his back because of his 'body language' and 'feminine' disposition. He would do it subtly, like it was just harmless ribbing, just a joke. But of course it wasn't. It was more than microaggression. It was disrespectful and very homophobic. I have seen so many men act like this, and it's crazy how so many men never talk amongst themselves about it. In my circles, they would tell me because I am not too judgmental, because I am a woman and because I am not conventionally 'feminine' in opposition to their conventional 'masculinity', which always seemed to reassure them. They thought of me as just one of the guys. I am not. I often found it funny but also quite sad.

So many of these men would open up only after getting sloshed. Their inhibitions would only be relieved when under the influence. Imagine all the energy spent on towing this line, the way both men and women are conditioned how to be.

A five minute shallow interaction online isn't going to do the trick. These men need to be rehabilitated. Their notions about sex and sexuality with respect to the world in all its inherent diversity need to be reexamined and changed where needed. It's difficult to feel sympathy for such men, yes. Some of them. But I am sure they will not be receptive to aggression, they have a degree in aggression themselves. You need to find their emotional Achilles heel, a chink in their armor, to find an in. It's honestly quite easy to crack most men. If you wanna break them, hit where it hurts most, their ego. If you wanna gain their trust, play up to their ego.

Why call them freaks? Lots of women also act like them. It's quite easy to see why they act like it too. We all come with our notions. We all have certain narratives we have grown up with. Certain hardlines we aren't supposed to cross. Certain socio politico cultural structures that reinforce these narratives that form the foundation of our lived experiences from babyhood that most people don't question, whether it be men or women. Our society was not built to be conducive to questions or challenges. It was built to repress them and eventually squash them. So obviously, we aren't able to reach an understanding about something that needs empathy and an open mind, that could really benefit with a balanced dialogue. Especially something that needs us to relook at our belief systems/established narratives. Such as feminism, homosexuality. What we don't understand, we hate or fear or revile.

One would really need to hunker down and have a proper dialogue, if you really want to change these narratives. It would take time and effort and lots of patience. You would need to invest. Build a new narrative. Look at all the ingredients that make up these narratives and start at the root. Change them one at a time. Unless that is done, one cannot convince them of Naruto and Sasuke being gay and it being a gay love story.

[abrthephantomq]

Encoder Zim - pt 2? pt 2

Please, my fellow humans, take a seat for a moment and study the image displayed on the screen. Does this look like someone who could take out one of the planet’s greatest leaders? 

[An image of Dib, approximately 34 years of age. He’s stick thin and tall. Lanky is a good word for him – like his limbs were just slightly too long for the rest of his body. There’s an eyepatch covering his left eye – well, it’s more like there’s large, twisted scar that makes up the left side of Dib’s face and a dainty little patch of black resting on top of it, where his left eye should be. 

He’s wearing what you’d expect a Dib to wear; black trench coat, black boots, blah blah blah. It’s Dib. An filthy human worm from a filthy planet of filth.]

“....no?” 

WRONG. 

[The image on screen changes to one of Dib, sans trench coat, but otherwise looking as gangly and awkward as always. This picture appears to be older, as it’s a bit frayed and Dib’s hair isn’t anywhere near as long as it is in the first picture. That stupid scythe-lock of hair sticks out on top – and Dib’s face, while still scarred, looks freshly healed.

Also in this shot, Dib is actually doing something kinda cool like fighting a weird Earthen monster. Something huge and hairy and definitely not normal. You’ve seen many different gross and disgusting species of animal in your day, but even this creature gives you the creeps.]

This is the same dreaded heh-yuman who wiped out Jif Bozos, the richest man on the planet. He may look stupid, but he is remarkably capable, despite his stupid appearance. 

[More images of Dib, from various angles – from various locations. It’s clear that the Dib has been traveling. They’re clicked through quickly, though there are…. quite a lot of them. Probably more than is necessary. It takes a beat too long to click through them all.]

(Note to self: tell GIR not to put so many pictures of the Dib in the slide deck, next time.)

He is a member of the organization known as the Swollen Eyeballs. Apparently, their goal is to keep the planet safe from ineffectual and terrible leaders. And by “ineffectual and terrible” they mean leaders who care about the econ-o-me and who want to keep it growing and growing and growing. 

(You pause, turn on your heel, and allow a flash of teeth.) They want to get rid of you. 

(The crowd, as you’ve predicted, gasps and boos, and you have to fight back a smile. The fact that the humans have such a soft word for such a threatening display, and that you’ve deemed it acceptable to use in your thoughts, barely pings something deep within you. Years ago, it would have.

Probably.)

Now now – I know, I know. You love your money. Of course you love your money! Money is great and it must be protected at all costs.

[An image of yourself, standing tall and powerful, laughing maniacally over a pile of green bills. A Dib-worm lays dead at your feet, limbs tangled together like puppet with its strings cut. It’s clear that the Dib is dead, because there is a puddle of human life force spreading around him and he has x’s for eyes – oh, and his tongue is sticking out of his mouth. Like a fool.] 

Behold! You can hire me, ZIM, to take out this – thorn in your collective side. I have information about this man that no one else does – connections across this pathetic – this perfect planet that only I can utilize. 

And thus concludes my presentation on the greatest threat to the world econ-o-me. Thank you.

(You step down from your platform. The humans mumble among themselves, whispering behind their hands as you walk away. 

You know one of them will be contacting you, soon.)

[papalo-palo]

WHM 43, MSQ 27

I hired a retainer! When I apologized that it would take me some time to obtain the ventures to pay him for regular service, he just nodded solemnly and said that all things worth doing will always start slow. It is by starting slowly and steadily that we learn how to do things right. He accepted my initial gear as his own with gracious humility as the only job I could give him is the sole job I have as a conjurer, and somehow I feel even great and small for knowing him.

Would that he could be my adventuring companion, but Sable, my chocobo, makes up for the lack. She is a fine friend, even though she is smaller than most breeds. What she does not have in height, she makes up for with tenacity, and is vicious towards any that would attack me. I removed the Twin Adder barding she came to me with. We may both serve the Grand Company as citizens of Gridania, but she is my friend first, and a mount second.

I still struggle with gear. Other adventurers tell me that I could pick up gathering and crafting and make my own gear, but when I inquired of the time and materials required, I realized I just don't have the time for all that. One of my new friends did pull me aside and spoke quite strangely and enigmatically of a friend of theirs that has been watching me with interest from the shadows. Apparently, they are something called an omnicrafter but keep to themselves lest their skills be abused. They sent along a message of encouragement and a promise: If I remain on the path of the White Mage, when I prove myself as dedicated to the art such that I am ready face the trial that Ray-O-Senna and A-Ruhn-Senna will require my assistance with, that they will give me a gift greater than anything Stillglade Fane could grant to me.

I will be honest, my dear diary, I am skeptical of this claim. But my friend was eager that I believe them, and they have not done wrong to me yet.

Speaking of skepticism, I have been so busy that I forgot to record that I had felled a god! And so busy to record my involvement with the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, though, for an order that is supposed to be secretive, I am surprised to find that a lot of people already know about them! Also, the Waking Sands is in the basement of a building that is literally on the shore! How is that basement not flooded! Somehow, I suspect the Sharlayan Urianger to have something to do with it. It sounds like mysterious magic is at work, and he is certainly as mysterious as mages come.

So, yes, I have felled the Amalj'aa god Ifrit. If this had been my first encounter with power, I would have been curled up afeared and undone. But after helping clear the grotto of Sastasha, the Tam-Tara Deepcroft, and the Copperbell Mines, facing Ifrit was just another encounter to me. When I told my friends, they smiled and laughed and said that the world had been changed to be kinder to new adventurers and that it was not such when they first came into the world. I asked them to explain, but they said I had more pressing needs than to listen to the aching of old adventurers.

To further catch up on what I have done to date: Minfilia had encouraged me to join a Grand Company! She said that it was my personal option whether to join a Free Company, but it was necessary to join a Grand Company as my skills would be needed by the people of Eorzea more than the Scions. As she would not entertain any further conversation until I had done so, I went to the memorials held in the three city-states and judged each one.

I will be honest again, dear Diary, the Scion Alphinaud said plainly and with better words what was stewing in my heart. I had only seen a portion of the world, and what the three leaders said in their speech to their people was a gross alteration of the facts. How each one painted themselves as the sole voice of reason over their ignorant brethren! How each city-state was to be protected as the last bastion of civilization against the others that have chosen to ignore what had happened!

I see each city-state is falling into old patterns and forgetting the lesson learned on the plains of Carteneau.

But Minfilia was unrelenting, so I went with the people I already know, and joined the Order of the Twin Adder. Is it by this decision that I was granted Sable. And perhaps you will understand why my first free action was to remove the order's barding. We may serve the order on paper, but we are both free.

I must bring my writing to a close. A healer is needed for an adventure into a dungeon, and I am next in line for such an assignment.

May you, dear reader, walk in the light of the crystal.

[golbrocklovely]

I’m not in the snc fandom by any means and I have no plan to do so but being just a causal fan of them, I have seen the way their fans act towards them, especially Colby. It always leaves a horrible taste in my mouth.

I sincerely wish these guys would start setting more boundaries with their fandom. There are sometimes where I see replies to their tweets or just looking up their users on twitter because I’m a nosy rosey sometimes and the things some of their fans say to them, especially Colby is just horrendous and down right yucky. It seems to be getting worse in my end too. The way some of their fans treat Colby likes he’s stupid, slow or like a child is just so gross. He’s a human being. It’s one thing to make a joke, but it’s another thing to treat him like he was born literally yesterday. It sometimes feels like infantalazation. Like this is a huge problem and I just wish that Colby would put his foot down about it. Hell, when everytime there’s a girl involved in his life everything goes haywire towards him. I just feel so bad for him at this point. if I had fans and they were pulling stuff like this, I wound definitely say something, and start muting/ blocking people if it started getting too much. Maybe Colby hates confrontation which I can totally understand. Maybe he hates drama as well. But if his fans keep getting away with basically being overbearing and weird, they’re never gonna treat him like a human.

I also have a hunch that he might be neurodivergent and has anxiety. I see a lot of myself through him. He does a lot of things I do. But I don’t wanna diagnose him because I personally don’t know him like that. I just hope he has a good head on his shoulders when it comes to this type of stuff. and I also just hope one day some of his fans grow up and stop treating him like he’s a dummy when he’s a very intelligent person. It drives me nuts when people do that to him. He clearly is very smart and very empathetic. A bright soul who deserves so much better. 🩷

this ended up being extremely long so... sorry about that haha

i getchu. i understand not wanting to join this fandom. tbh i only really enjoy the fandom on here and that's about it. insta there barely is a fandom, the tiktok fandom is too young and just makes shit up 90% of the time, and twitter…. is insufferable lol

and i completely agree with you about the treatment of colby. it's a weird mix of both treating him like a sex doll and treating him like a baby, which makes both behaviors all the more gross.

like i'll be honest, i don't love all the decisions he makes, and i have talked about that on here countless times. however, i don't actively tell him on social media how to live his life (aka i don't @ him on twitter when he does something that annoys me like a lot of other fans do). and at the end of the day i accept whatever he wants to do with his life. me complaining on here about some of the questionable ppl he has in his life isn't even half as bad as what i've seen on twitter, especially when it comes to some of the girls he occasionally is seen with.

over the years it's gotten worse, and i'm not sure for what reason. it feels like the fans started out on the right foot. they care about colby and don't want to see him get hurt. and i get that, i feel the same way. but at the same time, he's an adult. and in life you're gonna make some dumb decisions, and be friends with dumb ppl that you shouldn't have been. and that's your choice. and that's your mistake to make.

i think part of it is a lot of fans think they are owed a part of colby's life and having a say in it. maybe bc they've put time, effort, and money into being a fan, maybe it's bc they feel like they are friends with him and thus think they can say shit that a friend would say even tho they are a complete stranger to him. and while i can understand somewhat why someone would feel that way briefly, it doesn't change the fact it's not true. you aren't owed anything just bc you've been here a long time or bc you buy merch. so what. you aren't special in either one of those regards.

and when it comes to colby and his dating life… oh boy, that's where most of the drama lies. again, a lot of it comes from fans not wanting him to date a questionable girl. understandable. i get that protectiveness. however it has become very apparent that NO GIRL is good enough for him. fill in the blank on whatever reason, it doesn't matter. there is not a single girl that exists that everyone in the fandom can agree on. and that just shows that a lot of the concern comes from both jealousy and, if we're being completely honest, misogyny.

certain fans are jealous they will never get a chance to be with him, no matter how many y/n insert fanfics they read. and no girl is good enough bc nine times out of ten the reason is bc of something sexist like she's a slut or a gold digger or isn't pretty enough or is too pretty or isn't as good as other girls.

my favorite phrase, highkey, is when a girl is seen with colby, ppl start hating on her and then when asked why someone doesn't like her they respond with "idk she just gives me a bad vibe." lmao happens like clockwork.

all of this is to say that a lot of fans, while they love colby, don't respect him. they don't trust him to make his own decisions bc in their minds, he can't make the "right" ones. and thus needs to smothered into making the right one. and if he doesn't do that, then he deserves to be bitched at for eternity.

tbh i'm surprised colby tolerates half the fanbase at this point. if the fandom isn't yelling at him for breathing wrong, they're making fun of him. and while it's fine to be playful and banter with him, there's a difference between a one off comment and constantly picking at everything he does down to whether or not he has facial hair. like… why are we talking about his body hair? yall are weird for that one.

if i was colby, i wouldn't have fans anymore. bc i would blocking ppl left right and center. idc that you supported me for a long time, if you're mean to me, you're gone. and i ain't gonna listen to (usually) a child yell at me for fucking a random girl (or maybe not even fucking a random girl). that's why last year i wanted him to go chaos mode. i wanted him to fuck every and any girl that said yes strictly so fans would come to the realization that YOU DON'T CONTROL HIM.

get over it or gtfo. it's really that simple.

and as for whether or not he's neurodivergent, that's obviously something he would have to explore himself. i personally have always thought he might secretly have depression and definitely anxiety since he's talked about that part himself. there's a lot of things he has done in the past that make me think there might be something under the surface and reminds me a lot back when i was in denial of what was going on mentally. and there are times he gets into funks, and you can just see the light drain out of him for a bit. but in the end, that's for him to explore and seek help for if he so chooses and feels the need to. i would hope if he truly did ever feel bad he would ask for help.

he's a very strong person and has such a love for life. i just hope he lives it to the fullest. i truly just want to see him happy.

[lightningshow]

Ramblings on clothing and body image, warning for weight and numbers, SA and abuse mentioned:

Since I started recovering from my ED, I tend to buy clothes that are oversized. I get most of my clothes second hand, but even the ones I buy from stores I tend to buy one size bigger and online I always size up "just in case." Because of this, I can still wear some of the same clothes I've had since middle school and the majority of my wardrobe that was purchased around age 15-17, despite having like a 30-40+ lb weight gain since then (the worst of my ED occured around age 14-16). This of course means that the stuff that did actually fit my body back then, doesn't fit anymore. This has led to two things.

1) Holding onto clothes that fit me back then "just in case" I fit into them again (which like. I don't know why I do this because not only will they never fit me again, if I did need a smaller size I'd just probably buy new fucking clothes).

2) Being perpetually afraid of buying New clothes that actually fit me just in case my body changes again etc. When I do buy clothes, I still tend to get a bigger size but I've been trying very hard to get away from this recently and just be accepting of the fact that this is probably how my adult body is going to look and feel for a good long while.

3) Feeling extremely fucking uncomfortable in anything that does actually fit me. Anything that allows people to see the shape and size of my body under my clothes stresses me the fuck out. In sophomore year of college I wouldn't go out without at least 3 layers on. I've had a lot of trouble buying anything fancy, more expensive, made to measure because I don't feel comfortable having even the impression of my body out there.

4) I think that since I've started unpacking how my issues with SA have impacted my body issues, this makes a lot of sense. I'm scared not only of people seeing how I look, but also of the possibility of anybody finding me (specifically my body) attractive. It makes me feel literally insane because not only am I afraid of people seeing me and thinking "ew, gross," I'm also afraid of people thinking I'm hot.

Anyways. I'm the world's most normal guy I promise.

[septembersghost]

If I am being honest since mh thing i am starting to see Taylor in a different light. Up until this point I excused some of her friendships like Lena Dunham and mh because in industry you have to have connections, even with questionable people. But this is so upsetting for me because while I can see a need for rebound why would she associate with him unless she does not care about the issues she spoke up against??? This makes her look like a hypocrite. He is a racist! How can she excuse that?!? He is a misogynist!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even look at her without feeling 'fake' anymore because I genuinely believed she cared about my community and WILL NOT TOLERATE SOMEONE WHO ACTIVELY DOES. ........[points at everything] THIS. It's so hurtful and many swifties are finding justification like if she's happy then why can't you accept that. Was all this 'I wont tolerate racism its disgusting' thing simply performative activism?? It hurts like hell.

oh anon :( i am so sorry that you're hurt and that you're upset processing this, and i will not presume to tell you how to feel or talk over your confusion here. i've seen a lot of fans upset at the idea of "shaming her for backsliding," and i want to be very clear that that's not the issue here, and that her behavior and reaction is understandable and human, even if it's messy, and i do believe we need to offer people grace to make mistakes and to respond to major life changes however they feel they need to. the issue here for many fans isn't her doing this - we have no say over it any way and we shouldn't! it's not our life or relationship or business - but rather...him specifically. i don't believe other people should be blamed for someone else's actions, either, matty's gross and bigoted stuff is all on him, but i DO understand the concern regarding the tacit excuse of it. that said, if we're going to be mad at taylor, or hold her accountable, do we have to extend that to jack, who apparently facilitated this? to phoebe, who's very good friends with him and has been far more outspoken politically than taylor has? i felt this way about the debate over amsterdam too - it was a horrendous choice on her part, but she appeared for two scenes, so don't we also need that angry energy for margot, and christian bale, and rami, and anya, and john david washington, et al? it becomes hard because, like you said, the industry is full of problematic situations and people. idk it's very complicated and tangled, and having a confused/conflicted reaction to that is normal. that said, the intimacy of dating makes it harder to excuse as ignorance. working together or being loosely professionally connected/friendly and dating are starkly different dynamics. for her to be so clear on her stances and then be involved with him is causing cognitive dissonance.

for whatever it's worth, which i know doesn't seem like much right now, i don't believe that her ideals are fake or that her compassion and inclusion is performative, i think she's always wholly meant that and has tried to back it up with actions like diversity in her casting choices and such, but she is also an exceedingly wealthy white woman who lives in a world of privilege we can't comprehend, and she cannot understand what it's like to be in our world either. the sad bottom line of that is, no matter how real her love for her fans is (and i think it is), no matter how real her empathy is (and i think it is), no matter how good her charitable actions are (and they are), her awareness is always going to be a bit limited, and she's always going to make choices serving her interests, especially about her personal life. this just happens to be an unpleasant one for many to see - the fact that there's nothing we can do about it and there's a boundary regarding intrusion doesn't mean your hurt isn't legitimate, and you are not obligated to tolerate his behavior that's caused you distress, nor excuse her seeming unconcerned about it.

we also cannot dictate other fans' reactions, i get that we care for her, and the automatic response from many is to want to support/defend her. she and her music mean so much to me, and it has for so long, and i do dearly love her, i tend to feel a lot of understanding for her, but to be honest, i have no interest in justifying this. and saying that is hard. if you don't want to hang in until this passes, you don't have to. if you want to come back after some time, you can.

however you feel is valid, and i hear you, and i wish i had some comfort to offer other than this.

[percontaion-points]

5 Survive chapters 25 & 26

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 25

“When would he have bugged the RV?” Reyna returned, just as the chorus did, and Red had to strain to hear. “We haven’t left it unattended.”

I feel like it’s in the same sort of way that Mr. Sniper knew that they would make a wrong turn down a completely random side road in the middle of nowhere. 

That is to say that it only works because the author commands it to. Logic be damned. 

Yes, sir, right away, sir. Red blinked. It seemed Oliver had already forgotten that two people just died less than fifteen minutes ago, bleeding out on the road out there, blooms of red around their once-heads. He was already on to the next thing.

I’m kind of with Oliver about this. Don and Joyce are dead; there’s nothing more that they can do to help them. The only thing that the kids can do is to try and stay alive themselves. 

 She paused as, right then, Oliver and Reyna reemerged from the bedroom. Reyna’s eyes shifted, rubbed red, and Red wondered whether they’d been fighting in there, in whispers so the others couldn’t hear. How bad could their secret be? Worse than hers?

Is it bad that I’m wondering if Reyna is pregnant? Or is that too obvious? Maybe she had an abortion. 

Red scrabbled in the darkness for the toilet paper, ripping some free and folding it up.

Okay, this is the SECOND time this book has given us almost graphic details of Red urinating. What the fuck. 

“So why does your uncle have a photo of someone else’s family in the glove compartment?”

Chapter 25 summary: The others are obviously confused about how Mr. Sniper could have put a bug in the RV when they’d pretty much been with the RV this entire time. However, I guess since there’s nothing better to do, they all start to search. 

Red searching through the cabinets and fridge honestly takes up sooooo much page time. Like we get it; she searched and found nothing. Move on. 

Arthur passes her a note that asks if she’s okay, but she says no. They briefly talk about Don and Joyce. Red has this idea in her head that if literally one tiny thing had changed, then the elderly couple would still be alive. Arthur tells her that it’s not her fault. 

There’s also this tension between Oliver and Reyna. Like their secret is due to the fact that they’re a couple. Hence why I’m thinking of pregnancy. But seeing them coming out from the bedroom after they’d clearly been fighting makes Red wonder what Simon’s secret is. 

Then there’s a really gross passage where Red tries to go to the bathroom. She’s about to undo her pants when they turn all of the lights off in the RV so that they can search the light fixtures, so she has to go in the dark. To make matters worse, they’re literally RIGHT outside the door, and it’s awkward. The entire passage should have been removed, since IDK what the author thinks that it’s doing here. 

They don’t find any bugs, and Oliver is clearly becoming more and more unhinged when each and every one of his ideas fails. Maddy finally produces a random photo from the glove box, and Simon is like “Uh… That’s not my uncle.” (His uncle owns the RV.) 

Chapter 26

“One of us is working with them.”

Chapter 26 summary: For some unholy reason, they need to argue about this mystery photo. Simon eventually tells them that his uncle’s used car dealership… Doesn’t always sell legal goods. And that he’s helped his uncle to acquire some of these vehicles occasionally. Because his mother isn’t some hotshot lawyer, and his family isn’t swimming in money. Not like Oliver’s and Maddy’s family. 

However, Simon is quick to point out that he accepted the offer of this unknown-status RV because Maddy had insisted that things be as cheap as possible for Red’s sake. This obviously makes Red feel like shit… Especially since she’s standing right there. She has to brush it off and act like she doesn’t care. 

Simon and Oliver start arguing about the note. Again. 

It’s at this point that Red realises that she left the walkie-talkie in the bathroom. But she’s so bubble-headed that she forgot that it was in there. When she does find it, Oliver has the sudden realisation that maybe the bug is in the walkie-talkie. Red offers to disassemble the device, since she’s done it a million times with her mom’s old police radio. 

However, as you might have imagined, there’s nothing in there that shouldn’t be. 

This leads Oliver to the conclusion that somebody is working for the snipers, and has been reporting back in. Which… wow. The paranoia and delusions have set in with him suuuuper quick, haven’t they?