#doctors I would need vitamin d from

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

The docotor post you did I literally died. I would not want to leave either. LMFAO! Are you planning something ?👀 also curious who are you top three favorite doctors??? I think I know who one is ! -hari

Hari honey!!!!!! Babe omg I would literally be a patient for my whole entire life if they were taking care of me until one of them out a ring on it 🤭 I just need one of those vitamin d dose daily if it happened. 😘💜

Me and @sashi-ya have something in mind it will mostly likely be a collab like did for the lust and spiritual pressure which was a big success but with more fandoms! I enjoyed writing for it so much. We are still working some things out for it debating to open request or not for it. But stay tuned!!!!

Ahhh putting me on the spot well I know two spots are already secure . The third was tough for me to choose

1. MARCO (husband #1 if you know you know, I will always be his little bird-yoi, this man is my type and will breed me every single time, feral during mating season, beside my horny talk he is so compassionate and mature and damn right great with kids😩😩💜he is tattooed on me 💜💜 )

2. Hatori ( I loved with him since 2006. Marco took his place about 4 years ago. Heavily invested in him for so many years. I wanted to fix him and I still do !)

3. Hongo (this man is a neat freak like me and he is tall and knows how to fight, smart as hell and I know his pussy game is strong)

I have a thing for fingers I noticed they alll have such long fingers yasssssss👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 getting to excited lol 😂 but yeah I love all the doctors on here even though two of them would literally kill you 😂 i hope your having a good day honey💜💜💜💜

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey! If you don't mind sharing, I'd be interested to hear more about your chronic illness diagnosis journey (I also get that it can be a private thing!).

I've been struggling for the last 5 or so years with chronic fatigue, muscle weakness, muscle pain and brain fog, and my doctors have checked a bunch of different things. EBV, thyroid, vitamin D, "are you sure you're not just depressed" and they've now gone for ME/CFS. A part of that just doesn't feel right to me because I feel like they should have done more tests or walked me through alternatives before settling! Especially because it fluctuates so much. Sometimes I can't leave the house, sometimes I have to borrow a wheelchair if I'm in a shop, sometimes I can walk 5000 steps??

Love and support for you and your gluten free adventure - potatoes, rice and polenta tend to be pretty good for me when I want something bready! (Doesn't quite hit the spot as well as buttered toast does though...)

My decline was really painfully gradual. I didn’t realize why things were getting so much harder. It manifested first with friction between my beloved because they were frustrated I was always too tired to run little errands myself. I went to the doctor and talked about my fatigue but was assured I was fine. I went on Chinese herbs and they buoyed up my reserves so I could keep functioning.

That went on for months, just getting more and more tired. I’d wake up sobbing because I wasn’t any more rested than I’d gone to bed. I went to a new doctor at that point. I got diagnosed with anemia until my blood work came back normal and then I was told I was fine.

Then I started fainting. My hair was falling out. I went to a different doctor. She ran my blood. I got told I was fine, but that maybe I had a food allergy. She slapped me with a full elimination diet that broke my spirit. I did feel some minor improvement but I wasn’t healthy by any means.

Finally, my good friend who is a doctor said that’s enough. She was in a different state but she was furious that I wasn’t getting any help. She ran my blood on a bunch of different ailment tests that were less well known. She tested for antibodies to EBV. If you have over 20 they consider you to have an active infection.

I had over 700 which is when they stop bothering to count.

I was so chock full of virus I was pound for pound virus by that point.

Then came the hard part. Knowing you’re bursting at the seams with a virus doesn’t make it easy to treat. The virus was living in me, in my cells. Too much of the medication and my body would start siccing it’s defenses against its own tissue.

I went on a bonanza of supplements. There was syrups to boost energy, pills to increase my immune system, antivirals, iron and vitamin D because those were kinda low. It was a three times a day regime of medicines.

My initial dose of antiviral was too high. I experienced a pain unlike what any mortal should bear as a result, dropping to the ground to writhe in agony when it hit. My dosage got lowered and my progress crept along.

I started school sometime in there and barely kept my head afloat above coursework. My stress load from school correlated to how much energy I had and I longed to finish my degree and just prioritize feeling better.

Then things got worse. My original doctor friend let her prescription rights for my state lapse, it didn’t make financial sense to keep them. A different friend from yet another state wrote my antivirals for a while but eventually I needed a new doctor.

I found another, this time a naturopathic doctor like my friends, hoping I’d keep receiving good care in that scope of practice. I didn’t. I had the most painful blood draw of my life in her office, writhing in agony, then didn’t hear back from her. I got ghosted by my doctor. When I pestered her for results she wrote me a script for antivirals but that was all.

I’d find out about eight months later when my health was declining and my friends demanded to see my blood work that my iron had been dangerously low but she hadn’t bothered to tell me. I got on iron supplements and staggered along.

Through precision time management I could budget my functional time into schoolwork then collapse to recuperate. It was working, but barely.

When my scrip on antivirals ran out I hunted once again for a doctor. This time I’d realized that any good care I’d gotten was when I’d made a personal connection with the doctor, a rare privilege not many people got. So I sought out a friend of a friend, someone I’d seen on occasion in the doctory social circle.

I have never been more happy with a doctor. She tested my viral numbers and pronounced herself satisfied that it was in check but was suspicious that although my thyroid numbers always looked normal that something was going on there. She ran more tests and lo. A thyroid imbalance.

Around that time I’d sunk into needing the chair. I stopped functioning, it was almost as bad as my first collapse. And yet again the fun part of getting my thyroid in balance was a delicate balance of making sure I wasn’t taking too much and hurting myself.

That balancing act took about a year to stabilize. I was still so weak from years of fatigue and inactivity. An able bodied person cannot imagine how hard it is to build up from ground zero on all your muscles. And the worst part was any time I felt tired I was terrified I was going to slip back down into the depths of exhaustion.

Then my beloved and I got Wyvern the puppy. And before we realized we had both somehow developed allergies to dogs and had to break our hearts giving him up, he saved me the last time.

Potty training meant I had to get up every two hours to take him out. I didn’t have to walk far but I had to do it consistently. Every single day I’d go to bed aching in every muscle, terrified to wake up. But every day I woke up with energy and was able to do it again.

It was like puppy boot camp, and I was able to go longer and farther every walk. By the time we realized we couldn’t keep him I was mobile again, I hadn’t needed my chair at all. When we said goodbye to him I promised I wouldn’t lose the progress he helped me make.

Now I finally, for the first time in six years, feel healthy again. I can go on long walks, I can run little errands for my beloved, I can fill my days with activity and wake up to do it again the next day. It’s the most amazing thing.

I hope you can stumble upon a doctor who can listen to you and help you. I know how hard things can get, but sometimes they can get better.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Update to the Vitamin Drawer (an explaination):

- I have a crazy salt deficiency thing, so my diet has to be fucking loaded with salt

+ This leads me to crave the least fucking nutricious saltiest bullshit

- I also work nights and rarely see the sun, so I take Vitamin D

- I fuckin hate the taste of veggies

+ Because of this, I take a multivitamin to make up for it

- My parents are Old and need CoQ10 because of a side effect from blood pressure medicine

- All three of my family members have s vitamin c, vitamin b12, and zinc deficiency

- My mother has Osteoperosis so she takes calcium to help her bones

- One of the bottles is iron pills which I used to take because I would lose a LOT of blood to nosebleeds or work accidents

+ No I never got workers comp

- Brain health has the fatty acids your brain needs because my mom flips her shit if I ever make fish because she hates the smell

- Potassium pills in there because dad was told to take it by his doctor for some health problem or something idk

And yeah thats. The summary! Heres my current meal as i type this: mac n cheese with wine (blackberry)

Modern medici9ne is so great. (Now I want mac and cheese)

[yan-lorkai]

Hello! How would yandere twst react to the fact that reader cannot get pregnant in any way, and thinks that she has infertility, but how did it turn out later that it was yandere who suffer from infertility? How hurt will they be by the fact that they will not be able to give what reader wants, who is now demanding an end to their marriage due to their infertility and has already found herself a new candidate by making contact with him?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Hii anonie! I wasn't sure if you wanted all the characters from the babytrap hcs so I just picked Malleus and Leona, but let me know if you wanted the others too I'm more than happy to write them! :D

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, Infertility and talk about pregnancy/children, imprisonment, possessiveness, malleus using his UM

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Malleus is determined to try a thousand times if need be, the thought of building a family still circling his mind as he hopes to get you pregnant this time. Several factors may be preventing you from getting pregnant such as stress, lack of vitamins or health problems, so Malleus changes your routine to a calmer one and brings the royal doctors to you to find out what the problem is.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Even though he's a little delusional, Malleus can see that maybe there's a problem he didn't foresee: you're infertile. But even if you're infertile he still loves you dearly, if you can't have kids biologically then he's sure maybe you could adopt.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ But when does he find out you're not infertile? Malleus doesn't quite know how to feel, he knows that it only means one thing and that the problem is him. And the world trembles under his feet, the sky is swept clean of any sign of the sun as thunder crashes to the earth, Malleus hadn't considered the hypothesis that he might be infertile and even though royal doctors talk about this or that, he doesn't catch a single word. He can't, he can't give you what you want, he can't fulfill his role as a husband and he fears your reaction to his hypothesis.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ That night he comes to lie beside you, quiet, and he holds you tenderly against his chest, stroking your sides and looking at you like it's the first time he's really seen you. And he shares his suspicions about his infertility with you, watching each expression pass over your face, expecting you to yell at him and storm out of the room, but you don't. You stay there and you both tremble in each other's embrace, and Malleus thinks for a second that maybe you don't care either and that maybe nothing will change in your relationship.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ But as time goes by he realizes that this is not the case. And one day he enters your shared room to notice that your bags are packed and that you intend to leave, Malleus doesn't need you to tell him why, he knows, deep down he knows why you're leaving him. And he feels a terrible pain go through him, especially when you tell him how you've been exchanging letters with another man and that you didn't want to be with him anymore. And if Malleus were just a little less selfish, maybe he would have let you go and live your dream of having a child, but he can't think of that and he loves you too much to give you up, so he puts you to sleep with his magic, trapped forever inside your own body.

⠀⠀⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Leona feels that he has failed you and him, especially if you have high expectations of having a child with him. No matter how many times you try, none of the attempts are fruitful and he can hear the servants' mean comments in the corridors, he can see what those whispers and giggles do to you. Until one day, his mother suggests that one of the two of you may have some problem that prevents you from conceiving and Leona is terrified of the thought. He could grunt and murmur that Cheka bothers him, but he wanted a child and when you married him Leona imagined what that child would be like, would they have your eyes or your smile? Would they be as beautiful and graceful as you?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Knowing that maybe they can't be born because one of you is infertile breaks his heart as much as yours, but he stands strong to support you during this delicate time as you visit the medical wing.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ And honestly, the confirmation that he was infertile leaves him stunned and afraid, as if he were just going to be a hated boy again and that no one believed he was worth anything. And he knows well the look of disappointment that passes over your face and it hurts him more than he lets on, he would expect this from anyone but you, this is not something he can control but maybe there is a treatment or something he can do. And he starts to plan as the two of you return to your room.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He knows as he watches you spend time with Cheka or other kids that this is something you wanted to experience and something you won't be able to have if you stay with him, he knows that at some point you'll leave or maybe stay long enough until your relationship deteriorates. He just didn't expect it to hurt so much when it happened, with you throwing divorce papers in his face while announcing loud and clear that you're leaving, that there is another man in your heart who can give you what you want and how you've been exchanging letters with him this whole time. But he can't let you go, no matter how much you scream or cry or how much you run from him, you're his and there's nothing you can do or anyone to turn to for help.

[brailsthesmolgurl]

“Wake up”

Preview: How the boys usually wake up, either on their own or with you by their side.

Zayne

“What time would you like to meet tomorrow?” He is the type to set only ONE alarm the night before. Even if he has less than 8 hours of sleep, he would still get out from bed the moment the alarm rings. He is a very disciplined man given his profession and he is probably used to working 24 hour shifts during hospital overload seasons. When staying alone, Zayne is very much the early bird. He likes to wake up an hour early prior to get ready for any plans he has for the rest of the day. Even on the days when he is not required to be at the hospital, he would much prefer waking up to his daily dose of Vitamin D and enjoying the breaths of fresh morning air. A little light workout in the morning never hurts for this doctor to keep himself in shape as well.

When he is with you, he might laze in a little more. “It’s alright, you should rest more.” He would say something along these lines, running his large palms from the top of your head and down your back, soothing your warm skin with his icy touch. He enjoys waking up earlier than you sometimes and just watch your undulating breaths as you dreamed. If he is lucky, he might catch you sleeptalking and might record your voice on his phone so he could ask you what you were dreaming of just a while ago. He would never wake you up against your will. A little twist of your lips or a little frown would get him to back off immediately, not wanting to ruin such a peaceful moment of yours when for most of the days, he can only get to deal with your hyped personality. “Sweet dreams my angel.”

Xavier

Never really the one to be waking up from his dreamscape. When he is within the solidarity of his own home, he would sleep whenever he pleases. Morning or night, daylight or moonlight, he does not care. He can practically sleep anywhere; sleeping while reading at his balcony, sleeping right next to his dirty dish after he had finished eating on the countertop, sleeping right when he is about to finish his business on the loo. The possibilities of waking him up are endless as Xavier is such a sleepy boy. Funnily enough, he has a guilty pleasure for his sleeping routine on those sleepless nights. He will never admit to the fact he enjoys listening to Mukbang ASMR until his YouTube search history reveals otherwise.

However, if you happen to be with him, no doubt you are going to be the early bird. Dazed, you would watch him sleep sometimes and realise that even when he was asleep, he twitches ever so often and it made you wonder was it because his battle with the wanderer was so tough that it got re-enacted in his dreams as well. But if you tend to wake up, prepare for a lot of lounging around and “I just need a bit more sleep” but with him still ending up dead asleep after a minute. You can shake him, rattle him, shout at him or utilise any other methods, but this boy would wake up for a glance and drift off again if he wishes to. On days with activities planned out, he will always be timely, but the amount of time he takes to get ready will always remain a mystery to you because sometimes it would be as short as 5 minutes and he is ready to go. Perhaps, another time would take more than an hour because he ended up falling asleep while standing in the shower. “You should stop trying to wake me.”

Rafayel

He is the king of setting alarms for every one minute. This simultaneous alarm situation only applies if he has plans with you. But if it’s for his art exhibitions, or any other activities that does not include you, be prepared to have Thomas charging into his room to drag him out of bed. Rafayel has a specific ringtone set just for you so in case you call him anytime in the night, or while he was quick asleep, he would wake up in an instant to reply you. The ringtone of his is definitely applied to his alarm tone as well because let’s be honest, only you are able to get Rafayel to plan his day with you and for you. Rafayel himself is a light sleeper but on certain situations when he burns the midnight oil for his work, he will give himself the leeway to relax within the embrace of his soft bed.

Being with you would be somewhat different. He might wake up earlier than you sometimes or he might laze in bed later than you sometimes. It depends entirely on his mood or the occasion for the day. “Don’t rush me, the date has to be perfect so of course I am going to take my time in getting ready.” If the both of you have plans, he would weigh the amount of activity and type of activity throughout the day to decide on whether he wakes up 20 minutes prior or 2 hours prior. 20 minutes prior include him having to take his morning shower, brush and blow dry his hair and to change his clothes. While the 2 hours routine involves him soaking himself in a warm bath, styling his hair, shaving his baby-like face, planning his outfit and maybe just having enough time to prepare breakfast in bed for you if you are staying over for the night. “Good morning my love. I made breakfast for you because I kept hearing you muttering eggs in your sleep last night. I made the scrambled the way you like it!”

[sashi-ya]

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟑 DAY 23: MEDICAL PLAY Kisuke Urahara x F! Reader

Requested by: @electronicwitchcollection ➡ Hiya! I’m not 100 sure on how this works. But For your kinkiest could I please request 2 and you choose which you prefer? I can’t decide 😂. I can’t wait to see them all 💜 both with female please 20 shunsui kyoraku 23 kisuke Urahara. tw: mdni. medical play. mentions of pregnancy. kisuke kinda gaslights reader. tied to the bed. fingering. squirting. vag. wc: 855 masterlist

Kisuke Urahara isn’t a doctor, but he is a genius. Kisuke knows about the human -and souls- body perfectly well, and, when it comes to try new things, you are in charge of helping him…

“I honestly don’t understand the purpose of this experiment, Kisuke” you sigh, tied to a gyno bed.

“Come on, you know I won’t hurt you… I just want to see if Shinigami can get pregnant from a human without the need of a gigai” he calmly says, as he sits down in between your spread opened legs.

You widen your eyes. And lift your hands up.

“STOP… STOP! STOP!- WHAT? PREGNANT? KISUKE I AIN’T GETTING PREGNANT?” you protest, trying to close your legs with no positive result; your ankles had been tied to the bed.

You hear him scoff. How could he be that calm when you are freaking out?

Kisuke stands up and shows you how he in silence puts his gloves on. He comes closer, right in between your legs and smiles.

“I wasn’t planning on trying it on you… I just needed to take a look at your human features. However, now that you named it… I would pretty much wish my experiment was successful with you…” he jokes. -or maybe not-

You tilt your head and narrow your eyes. “You better don’t…” you sentence him, with your index pointing menacingly in motherly scold towards him.

He lifts his hands in sign of innocence and sits back down to keep “working” in your exposed core.

“I must say, however, that the idea might have turned you on, (Name)” he murmurs, playing with the wetness already forming in your sex. It was true, the idea seemed… interesting to say the least.

You soon notice the sterile intrusion of a latex surrounded finger. It makes you gasp, because you could swear your core felt a lot more sensitive than ever.

But you keep it calm. You don’t wanna give him the pleasure… why not? you still aren’t sure.

Then, a second one. He hums while he does, as if it was very normal to finger your “patient” with no sexual intentions.

“KISUKE!” you finally scold him. “What are you doing?” you ask, despite knowing it very well. He is having fun, and you will eventually come if he keeps doing that.

“What?” he mumbles, acting all innocent and peaking with his naughty eyes from above your legs. “I needed to test the way the human walls spasms around, in this case, my finger. I believe that part of a successful conception has to do with the capabilities of the female anatomy more than the man itself… this will be very helpful to improve my gigai prototypes”

You massage your temples, because even if it makes sense… you are sure he knows about that more than well…

“You liar…” you whisper, looking to the wall on the right. “Why am I a liar, (Name)? don’t tell me you can’t take it? Should I apply anaesthesia, so you feel more comfy?” he asks, smirking with a mocking tone.

You sigh, louder.

“Or do you want me to keep going because it feels very good? Mh?” he insists, standing up and coming even closer to your sex. “If you tell me… I can go further; orgasm is something I also need to fully study”

You feel your cheeks on fire, as you swallow and cover your eyes. “Go… further, Kisuke…” you mumble, shily -and honestly so needy-

“Say less!” he energetically answers back, and prepares to give you his special finger treatment… along maybe, with some vitamin D injection.

Kisuke sits back down, this time he takes off his gloves. “We don’t really need this, don’t we?”

One and then two fingers slide inside with no problem, and with beckoning motions he hits the upper wall of your insides. Kisuke knows exactly where and how to touch, and his hand on your lower belly pressing down makes it harder for you to keep it quiet.

You begin squirming, as the sounds of squirting liquids resonate all around his lab. You lose control of your lower half, trying to forcefully close your legs -and failing miserably-.

Orgasm is soon to arrive, and you can’t even moan by now… your eyes met his from above the brim of your hospital gown, and his smirk makes you shiver.

“Kisuke… I can’t- I am coming-“ you inform, even if he already knew by the growing spasms of your walls.

“Are you? Show me so I can take notes on every little sensation…” he whispers, calmly destroying your insides with his masturbating torture.

You nod, letting yourself go, exploding in a wet orgasm that bathes his forearm and gets him harder than ever before.

And, Kisuke, who is not willing to miss the sensation around his dick of your milking climaxing walls, immediately lowers his pants to guide his hard sex into you.

“Can I? this is also part of my investigation, you know” “Fuck me… you can investigate all you want, Kisuke ~” “Thanks for your contribution to science, (Name)… ngh fuck, you are too tight…”

taglist: @miabiaria @carmenthedreamer @stygianoir @electronicwitchcollection @aizenwifey @deputy-videogamer @efrodd17 @mizugami @uzxotic @cyberdazetragedy @bookandyarndragon @fushiguroshotwife💖

[scientia-rex]

Good morning! I have a question. When I look up info about vitamin D, I come across many claims that people generally don't get enough of it. In a recent episode of Maintenance Phase, however, the hosts called it a "scam" or overblown, at least (I don't remember the exact wording). So, like, what's the deal with vitamin D? Do Americans get enough of it?

Probably, mostly. At the very least, people should be tested before starting repletion. It probably has a role in osteoporosis treatment and prevention, BUT how much to take and what form and when is HOTLY debated and frequently conclusions are changing.

Just to take you on a spin through the most recent Cochrane reviews (THESE ARE NOT SINGLE STUDIES, in case any of the research-naive out there want to get pissy about them; look up what a Cochrane review actually is before trying to shit on it; also note that I did NOT say this will cover every fucking person and every hypothetical they can come up with, jesus CHRIST):

No role for vitamin D in asthma

Insufficient evidence to recommend it in sickle cell

Raising vitamin D levels in cystic fibrosis patients is not beneficial

No evidence of benefit of vitamin D in MS

Supplementing vitamin D in pregnancy may have small benefits but also risk of harms

No clinically significant benefit from vitamin D supplementation in chronic pain

Insufficient data on vitamin D in inflammatory bowel disease, but no evidence of benefit

No evidence of benefit of vitamin D supplementation in liver disease

Vitamin D does not appear to prevent cancer in general population

No evidence for benefit in supplementation of vitamin D in premenopausal women to prevent bone density loss

Possible small mortality benefit of D3, but not D2, in elderly patients, but also increased risk of kidney stones and hypercalcemia

Vitamin D alone ineffective, but combined with calcium may be effective, in preventing bone fractures in older adults

Insufficient evidence for vitamin D improving COVID-19 outcomes

Now, vitamin D plus calcium in people who have post-menopausal bone density loss does seem to prevent fractures. This is why doctors routinely recommend it. However, dosage and formulation are still debated as data are insufficient, and uncertainty still large.

So, do you need to supplement? Probably not. There is some fairly weak evidence that vitamin D supplementation may help with depression, but I would argue that it's going to be most relevant in people with pre-existing deficiencies, which Medicare is just hellbent on not letting me test for anymore. They've narrowed the coverage codes for testing so now even know vitamin D deficiency isn't considered a good enough reason to test. So Medicare has very clearly decided it's not relevant, for whatever that's worth, I spit on their graves, etc. Of course, then you get into the question of what counts as a deficiency, which we also really don't know.

And to be clear, I wasn't looking through the Cochrane review results with an angle--those are most of the first page of search results on their site, with the only one skipped being similar to another one I mentioned, and I stopped when I got bored. These should not be paywalled, as I am not logged into anything and I can read it all, so try clicking the side menu on the right if you have trouble getting into the weeds.

If anything, running through this little exercise has made me less likely to recommend vitamin D supplementation, so do with that what you will.

[yandereunsolved]

Dissect Me, Doctor - ,, yandere JPM with a psychologist reader

cw(s): yandere themes, dismemberment, suggestive themes, (James) necrophilia, noncon touching, cannibalism, mention of reader having breakdowns & panic attacks

✧ James found you by God's hand one fateful day. You could say it was more than a mere coincidence, eh? He had just finished killing one of the hotel guests. He was about to call Miss Evers in to clean up the mess when he spotted something sticking out of the dead gentleman's breast pocket. He plucked the card out of your pocket and read it allowed, 'Doctor...' His curiosity was the least bit piqued. Psychologists weren't exactly popular in the 1930s. The true study of the mind hadn't emerged, but James had always lived to study humans. To study their fight or flight instinct, how their bodies react to various torture methods, and how fear affects the human psyche. Perhaps he has found someone who shares his fondness for such things. It would be a great way to meet someone new. Considering Elizabeth refuses to speak with him, he has grown desperate. Not even defiling his killings tapered his already suppressed desires. 

✧ He got Sally to teach him how to use this magic witch named 'Wi-fi' who owns the internet—or something like that. Most new technology is just rubbish used to get people to make inauthentic connections. Although perhaps just this once, it can be used for the betterment of his temperament. He has Sally schedule an initial appointment at the hotel. Sally uses the excuse that James is bedridden and terribly ill (non-contagious), but he hates telehealth and just wants someone to talk to in person. You were skeptical because of the rumors surrounding The Cortez, but you were in desperate need of another client, and he was willing to pay extra—a lot extra.

✧ You had your first session in his room, and you immediately got strange vibes from him. He wasn't ill, that was for sure. Perhaps he was a little pale, but he probably hasn't gotten enough sun or vitamin D lately. He was even smoking! He was sitting all relaxed on a couch, dressed up in 1930s-esque attire, with a cane leaning against his lap. He introduced himself as James Patrick March, and you immediately understood why you were called. He either has a personality disorder or is a compulsive liar. Perhaps both. You asked him simple questions, such as his real name and when he was born. You were only getting nonsensical answers. He could not have been born in the late 1800's or early 1900's; that is ridiculous! 

James only felt himself grow hotter with each question you asked. It was like a fire had been lit beneath his skin, and he needed to put it out. Then you asked the question that really got him going.

"Since you refuse to use your real name, I'll just call you Mr. March. How is your personal life going? Are you currently sexually active?"

"I have peculiar interests and refined tastes. How do you modern people phrase it? 'Where there is a hole there is a goal'?"

✧ With that astounded expression on your face, he feels his urges compell him to end this lovely conversation early. That look would look perfect on your dead corpse. He takes the sabre out of his cane and tries to slit your throat; he narrowly misses. Somehow, you unlock his room door and bolt through the hallways. How promising. He walks through the winding hallways slowly. You scramble to find the exit, and he struggles with not just outright chasing you through the maze. No, he must preserve the hunt. After what feels like an eternity to you—only eleven minutes in real time—you finally trip over a stair and hit your head on the railing. Talented fox. You nearly escaped to the lobby. You are too much of a challenge to let go so easily. He's going to keep you to get his release. In more ways than one. 

✧ You wake up in the middle of the night in the same room as before. It's freezing, and your clothes are nowhere to be found. Your head is pounding, and you are barely able to breathe. James drugged you with some cocktail of drugs—some legal, most not. You feel blades ghosting your body. You feel them just barely slicing into your skin. It must be sleep paralysis, you rationalize. Something whispers sweet nothings into your ears. You are barely able to discern what those words are. 

"You taste... a dream."

"Never leave."

"The best prey— never leave me."

✧ You drift off once again before groggily waking up in a different room. You are still in the Cortez, now in room seventy-four. You feel much different today, weighed down and yet free. You don't have any marks on you that would indicate you were harmed last night. You feel the need to escape, but you are also incredibly confused. A maid is in your room, setting down a new set of clothes. She explains that you passed out after you tripped on a stair while leaving the session early. You accuse her of helping the strange man you interviewed who tried to kill you. She chuckles and says that you aren't his type. Her voice has a little bit of spite in it. That was the moment that you were introduced to Miss Evers. Quite possibly the only person who simultaneously envies you for getting all of James attention and pities you for your lack of self-awareness and intelligence in the situation.

✧ Before you are even able to shoo her off this JPM impersonator comes in your room and greets you. You are naturally apprehensive. He is naturally enthralled to see that his trophy prey has awoken. He cannot wait to just see how you react today. You try to leave and he explains that you never finished your session. You accuse him now of trying to murder you. He brushes it off and insists that you at least have breakfast with him before you leave. You are about to answer firmly when Miss Evers folding of a towel loudly snaps together. This 'James' scolds her and she gives him a doe-eyed look. Before you are even able to say no he is ushering you down the hallway in silken pajamas someone put on you while you were passed. The thought makes you shudder.

✧ You both were served a hearty and delicious breakfast. It isn't very filling to you, no matter how much you eat. It must be how queasy you are from yesterday. If it happened. Perhaps you had a mental break due to all the stress you have been through lately. You don't get a lot of time to think because you are snapped from your thoughts. This James speaks about your future together and how you will have a long and fufilling relationship. He asks you to give him a psyche evaluation. When you say no, he subtly threatens you with the thought of not paying because you didn't actually fill his full session. You reluctantly agree.

✧ He's both incredibly frustrated and intrigued by your persistence. How many times must he explain to you that he isn't a 'cosplayer' or someone with a personality disorder. He is simply the great James Patrick March. No matter. It will make you even more fun to play with.

"Your delusions, doctor, are clouding your mind. So I suppose I will have to make you see the truth—one way or another."

He sets up small 'challenges' to see if you can pass them. He wants to test how long your mental fortitude will hold up. 

✧ The first of those was dismembering himself in front of your very eyes. He does it multiple times, and they are all random. He will pluck his eye out and stir it in his tea. He will cut open his chest and stuff his organs into your suitcase. He will remove whatever is covering his neck and finger from his suicide wound. He asks if you would like to feel it, stroke it, touch it, or play with it.

"Doctor, I understand you only deal with the human mind, but would you like to feel this and assess if it is real? Do you believe me now?"

He will stab himself in the heart during one of your sessions and tell you that this is what you do to him. In the most extreme cases, if he isn't getting your coveted attention, he will take himself apart limb by limb and place them on your bed like a cross.

✧ You begin to come to terms with the fact that, at least, this man is psychotic. Perhaps not a ghost, but definitely a killer and wickedly sadistic. You try so many of the phones in the hotel, but so many seem not to work. You try to find your way out once again, but you seem to be trapped within these walls. Which comes to one of his many other tactics: trapping you in The Cortez's hallway maze. He is able to distort the minds of his guests and make sure that they never get out. Like a rat trying to find an escape from a box maze that has no exit. He enjoys just slowly walking behind you and taking in your panic and your quick breaths when your clothing rides up on you. He is able to take a respectful peek at what he will inevitably see time and time again.

✧ He keeps you trapped in the hotel. You never even have a chance to get to the lobby. He has a nice breakfast, lunch, and dinner with you. He has his daily sessions with you. Outside of that? His torture. All of his torture. All of it. He threatens you with it subtly if you do something that he is displeased with. He'll even lock you in that death closet of his and make you stand right near the spike. Sometimes you prefer to be in there because you can hide from him. He likes it when you hide in his death traps. So he totally leaves you alone and totally just doesn't sit right outside your ability to view him.

You are coming to the point where those times when he is cordial are the times you crave. All part of his plan, of course. Although—he hopes that you will keep up the chase, he likes that fiery spirit of yours.

✧ You often find him getting release from his dead victims. You know because your relentless cycle of agony and pleasure stops. At least he doesn't force himself on you when you are awake. You end up doing your best to stay as far away as possible from him during that time. Only you always end up stumbling into the same room as him. You avert your eyes, yet he always has something cheeky to say to you.

"Ngh—darling, darling, wait! This.... this could be us. This could be me. You and me. Nothing could be a replacement for how your flesh feels against mine."

He always turns around and gives you one of those godforsaken winks of his.

✧ That isn't the only time his victims come into play. You are always suspicious of the food he serves you. It's either drugged or the meat could be made from his victims. You first learned that the hard way. You were served meatloaf, and James called in manloaf. He stated that it was made in this very hotel by the very guest who was trying to help you leave. You wanted them so bad, you can have them—in your stomach.

✧ Not even the Countess is able to help. Not that she tries. She is too busy luring more men in. She's forgotten about James mostly, except for the betrayal. She gives you a few warnings and some caution when she can. You are almost like one of her children. Perhaps she would help you if you really were in need. Maybe.

✧ You still get those sensations in your sleep. The feeling of fingertips ghosting on your figure. How the sheets seem to slip off your body. A warm presence keeps you close throughout the night. It often manifests in such strange dreams. It feels like James's thoughts are being injected into your own mind. You dream of him against you—sometimes he is brutally murdering you, and in others he is sensually caressing you. He always seems to tease and taunt you with those tantalizing images in your mind.

✧ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ ⁿ⁰ — You often have panic attacks and breakdowns because of him. Your heart rate quickens as sweat rolls down your body. Your legs shake and give in. The entire hotel seems to spin around you. You have to seek him out for your own comfort. It's so twisted and vile. You can feel bile rising in the back of your throat when it happens. You almost have to crawl on your hands and knees to reach him. Yet, it feels like heaven. His skin is so soft and supple. His suit is always made of the most comfortable materials. His body is always so cool to the touch. In those moments, your body melts into his. That is, until your mind stops its dissociation long enough to realize the trauma you were going through. You are falling for him—a classic case of Stockholm syndrome. You couldn't stand for this. You need to fight against this, against him.

✧ Unfortunately, your non-belief in ghosts stops when you see multiple people you thought were dead trying to warn you. You see your patient, who was killed in this very hotel. They tell you that they're so happy to see you. They are so happy you are here with them. You have to put on your therapist hat again and calm them down. It all clicks. Other people you thought were guests here were warning you. You are being oddly welcomed into the space. The others are cautious of your presence and afraid to upset the owner, the one who holds so much power over them. That strange being that seemed to flicker in and out of your peripheral occasionally. You finally make peace with the fact that James Patrick March is indeed a ghost. You really do need to escape here.

✧ You steal the hotel's shipping schedule for their toiletries and linens. You make a plan to escape. You think you are so clever, and it really makes James hot under his white buttoned collar. He lets you think that you are so much more astute than him. It makes him a little desperate, but he won't show it. He needs your touch so badly. He needs you to love him so badly. He needs you to be his little trophy victim. He needs you to help him chase his highs. He needs you. He needs you. He needs you. You, only you.

✧ He confesses his undying adoration for you and clings to your waist as you try to walk out. He sighs and tries one more tactic before you step out the door. He promises to tell you the entire truth. You are caught off guard by this, and your hand slips off the door. He leads you to his trophy room and shows you his 10 Commandment killings. He directs you to the corner, where your body lies. You are covered in wounds that have long since dried out. Your eyes are lifeless. You have his name etched across your naked chest. You scream, shout, and sob. James gently holds you and soothes you even as you thrash, kick, and gnaw at him.

"You've been trapped here the entire time. Since that night."

As if that makes it any better. You aren't that stupid. You could connect the dots—lack of appetite, coldness, the odd sensations, everything. You are stuck with this monster for all eternity.

"Hmm, yes! I saw you and just knew that I had to have you. Have you gotten my diagnosis yet, my love? It's lovesickness, and your body is the cure."

.ೃ࿐ -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- .ೃ࿐

⟿ taglist: @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @cxndiedvi0lets @doll3tt33 @lacucarachapisser @etheral-moon @fear-is-truth @marchsfreakshow @girlyfart @nahoyasboyfriend

.ೃ࿐ -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- .ೃ࿐

[seokmattchuus]

Stray Kids Reaction to you fainting

A/n: This is angstier than intended but I didn't know how else to make it? Anyways, I'm not entirely proud of this so if it sucks, don't point it out. p.s.idon'trememberifiproofread

- Requested -

Chan: Gets over the initial shock fairly quickly, the natural leader in him quick to work out what needs to be done in order to get you to the hospital with little to no one finding out. When the doctor informs him that it's due low blood sugar, he couldn't keep the disappointment from coming out once you woke up. He couldn't figure out why you wanted to put yourself through something like this, and he couldn't hold back.

"And for what?" He asked, his voice lacking emotion. "For what others have to say? The press?" He scoffed, his fear coming out as anger. "Do my feelings not matter? What if something worse happened?"

Minho: He couldn't wait for your special stage. He helped you practice ever since you got the song, knowing how perfected you wanted it to be. Not once did it seem like you were pushing your limits, so when he saw your slowing down, he quickly headed to the side of the stage, ready to run out and get you if he needed to. Just when he thought you pulled through, the second you made it backstage, your legs gave out.

"Hey, hey," He says sternly, supporting your neck while fanning you. "Y/n, c'mon." The panic in his voice grew as he called out to staff. "Can we get some water, please?!"

Changbin: He insisted on accompanying you to go do bloodwork. He was free, and he knew how long those appointments lasted, so he didn't want you to be bored. He was lucky he chose to as the second you looked down to see the blood flowing, you went limp.

"'I'll be fine' you said. 'Who passes out from blood' you said." He mocked half-heartedly, the seriousness passing now that you're awake. "Guess I'm coming to the next appointment."

Hyunjin: You had pranked him by doing this before, so he didn't believe you when you fell to your side on the couch. He continued making your lunch and waiting until he was finished to acknowledge that it happened. Gradually freaks out while trying to figure out what to do.

"Okay, you got me," He put his hands up sarcastically, his heartbeat picking up as you still hadn't gotten up. "Y/n, it's not funny." He said as he knelt down by you, trying to wake you up.

Jisung: He knew you needed your vitamin D supplements, but you insisted you would be fine for a few days while you helped them on set of their new show. That didn't stop him from worrying, though. He refused to take his focus off of you, and it worked out for you when you stood up to call for a break, just to fall right back down into the chair, your head lulling back before you held it up again.

"Y/n!" He yelled as he dropped what he was doing to run towards you, the staff beating him to it. "Is there anything I can do?"

Felix: He knew you were nervous. He could hear your foot tapping against the floor and the way your chest rose too much. You were taking deep breaths, trying to calm yourself on your own. You were trying to keep it from him, and he didn't want to call you out, knowing it would make you feel worse. He doesn't act on it until he sees you fighting to keep up right, and eventually failing, his arms wrapping around to catch you, and slowly lay you on his lap.

"No," You breathed out when you felt his hold slip away.

"I'm not leaving, I promise." He said, his voice calm and steady as he gave you a reassuring squeeze. "I'm right here, okay? Just focus on getting your breath back."

Seungmin: He knew you were stressed about school. The bags under your eyes, the untouched bed from when you last made it, the growing empty Starbucks cups under your computer desk, and the lack of groceries in your fridge. He decided to cook for you, hoping it would help you feel less stressed, but the second you got up, he saw your eyes roll back and bolted to your side.

"Do you need anything?" He asked worriedly as he helped you sit up. "Just wait here, let me get you some water."

Jeongin: He told you this would happen, but of course you were stubborn. He knew how hot it got backstage and he also knew you hadn't had much to eat since you wanted to eat after the concert. He turned to give you a kiss for good luck when he saw the loss of focus in your eyes. He freezes in panic, never having been in charge of something so serious, quickly calling for anyone to help.

"I-I told her eat something." He mentally kicked himself as he watched Changbin pick you up and carry you to a room that had fans. "She'll be okay, right?"

[swampstew]

Best Doctor in Town

Summary: Inspired by this gif submitted by @quinloki (sorry I lost the original!)

Warnings: Marco the Phoenix X Transmasc Reader with he/him pronouns - modernish AU, consent is implied, vaginal penetration/fingering.

Minors DNI - my content is for mature audiences only

You shivered under his scrutiny, despite having asked him to check on you after a fall that left you feeling severely bruised. You fell in front of him so maybe the bruise was actually your ego screaming out in agony over the embarrassing tumble in front of your long-time crush.

Marco being the kind soul he was, gently inspected every ligament, joint and then some, then had you lay on your back as he spoke.

“Well the good news is: nothing is broken-yoi.”

Your skin broke out in goosebumps, which made you feel even more vulnerable, being half naked down to your underpants on Marco’s futon as he looked you over. You’re not sure why he said your pants had to go, but truthfully just hearing him speak the words had the fabric tossed over the furniture faster than you could process them.

“Oh,” the face you made didn’t look convinced, though it was because you were trying to disguise your inner yearning.

The blonde doctor had already discarded his gloves but that didn’t stop his hands from returning to your abdomen. Fingers traced down your trembling body and you weren’t sure if he was doing it on intentionally or not.

A concerned look on his face, “Hmmm, maybe there is something going on. You’re running a bit hot all of a sudden.”

Despite the fairly cool atmosphere, your body broke out into a sweat being so close to him – even if the setting wasn’t exactly intimate in nature to begin with. You saw your squirming reflection in his glasses as he examined your glands and your forehead. You felt his warm breath against your flesh as he murmured different hypotheses for your condition. His touch was soft as he ran his thumb over your ulnar artery

“Quivering, sweating, increased body temperature, no swollen nodes…sudden tachycardia? – Y/N do you feel any unease right now?”

“L-like what?”

“Anything you can think of. Are you aching or sore aside from where you fell?”

Could the tightness in your stomach be considered an ache? What about the sudden tension you felt as his hands pressed down on your body once more as he assessed for lumps or undiscovered sensitive areas. Fingertips ghosted over you – a sudden jolt startled you both.

“Hmmmm,” he glanced at you before he prodded you again.

Your hips tilted forward and practically jumped him.

Your only real reaction to anything since he began his examination – you didn’t let out even a yelp at the initial fall.

“I see. Yes, I know exactly your condition-yoi!” he snapped his fingers, looking mighty proud of himself.

“Do I have your consent to examine you further? Even it gets a little…messy?”

You nodded, a little too eagerly despite not knowing what ‘messy’ could mean. However, the vibe in the room had spiked since your hips had thrown themselves at him; and you were like 90% sure you were picking up what he was putting down.

Hips don’t lie, you mused.

Folding back his sleeves, he parted your thighs and continued his examination. Sliding his finger over the damp folds of your pussy, he felt your wetness leaking from the fabric.

“Oh dear, you have a serious condition. It seems you need a healthy dose of Vitamin D. Would you like me to send your prescription to your usual pharmacy, or would you like me to give your dosage personally,” he rubbed his thumb and forefinger together.

He didn’t stop his prodding, going as far as peeling down your underwear – the sudden cool air hitting your steaming warm core, forcing a low hiss from you.

“I can give it to you orally, or through suppository. A few doses should fix you right up.”

Your body answered for you, wiggling closer to his lap from where he sat above you. Your face flushed red, not quite brave enough to answer him.

He let out a light laugh, “No problem, I can give it you in any manner. So long as you sing for me, little birdy.”

A hand over your face, you whimpered, “Y-y-yes doctor.”

“Good boy,” he cooed, sinking a heavy finger into you.

[balkanradfem]

Health news!

So, I've been having neck pain, that turned into head pain, for a year and a half now, and while I've had some more comfort since the center of pain was switched to my head, I've still been unable to walk, run, dance, jump, or use any tools like a hammer or a hoe. My right arm became functional again, but my left arm hurts from even holding a cup of tea. I had a neck MRI, and then a brain MRI, and there was no visible cause of pain, so I had a talk with my doctor, and she decided to test my blood for low vitamin D and low B12, and to check my thyroid function.

It turned out my thyroid is fine, but I had low b12, and critically low Vitamin D. She explained to me I need to get b12 shots every month, and that this could be the cause of the pain. When I came in, the doctor seemed overjoyed we finally found something concrete that is wrong with me, that we could treat, while I was wildly skeptical because I've been looking up symptoms of the deficiencies. While I had every symptom for vitamin D deficiency, I had none for b12, and only one article suggested there could be muscle pain as a result of it. Seems like feeble proof.

I have not been ignorant of my poor diet and living habits, I knew I had low vitamin D, and had supplemented it over the winter months, but apparently the store-bought dose I was taking was not enough. I did suspect a b12 deficiency as well, and was starting to take some B vitamins recently, but then read somewhere that they're dangerous to randomly take so I stopped. So what I'm saying is I knew I was sorta deficient, didn't think it was a big deal, I thought I was fixing it, I wasn't, my supplements didn't affect my pain or health. I got prescribed some powerful Vitamin D supplement, and got a b12 shot.

I have to say though, the nurse who was giving me the shot was acting ridiculous, first she was saying it to me like I'm a child, and I'm an adult, so I said 'I like shots, this won't be a problem'. She was not impressed. When she put the needle in me, I commented on how I can barely feel it, because I love acting cool in front of women with my high pain tolerance, but then she said 'When people tense their muscles it can get real bad and the needle can get stuck inside of them'. She said that while the needle was in me! I said 'I don't think I should be hearing this right now' and struggled to stay relaxed, and then she quickly pulled it out and it was fine. Maybe she just hated my positive attitude about getting the shot and needed me to be more apprehensive and afraid, which I don't feel is an attitude a medical professional should have?? Anyway. The shot was free for me so I love that.

The doctor told me 'you're going to feel much better next few months', super confidently, but I am still skeptical, I mean I wish I did feel better, and I'm relieved that something at least is getting attempted, and maybe a healthy dose of vitamin D will help with mental health, so okay, that would be an improvement. I doubt it will cure my head hurting while I walk though. Maybe I just don't understand deficiencies.

[roughcass]

Part 2 of https://www.tumblr.com/ssacassie/747166593478426624/wrio-x-femreader-kinda-angst-blood-swearing @sangoqueenkoko

not proof read or anything i need sleep enjoy

Wriothesley x fem!reader

The infirmary laid eerily still. Evidence of life was very little, other than the occasional sound of paper being turned. Heavy clanks on the lithium was heard ascending towards where Sigiewinnie sat, next to you. "How's she lookin'?" The dukes voice broke the silence. "Your grace, the chances aren't in our favor." All he was able to do was nod, exit the room and repeat this process.

The previous few days was all the same routine. He'd walk around for hours pondering on what he could of done different to have prevented this. Every step he took was a constant reminder of how surreal the last week has been. After a few hours he'd need to use the bathroom, or Sigewinnie would be able to convince him to sleep - all though that never lasted longer than three hour intervals. He's barely left your side. "Okay, you need to go to the surface," the nurses voice echoed down the corridor as she followed suit. Confusion arose in the man, why would he? You're down here. He's not leaving. "You're growing sickly pal and honestly I couldn't accurately tell you when you last saw the sun." "But-" "Get her flowers and come straight back if you need to." Wriothesley was still about to protest before Sigewinnie slammed the door giving him no alternative. "Doctors orders! It'd be unlocked once you catch some fresh vitamin d!"

With a simple phone call, it so happened Wriothesley ran into Neuvillite on pure coincidence. As soon as Neuvillite got a call from Sigewinnie, the worst was expected. To hear you were still fighting but he needed to distract his friend, he was waiting by the fleur shops. "Wriothesley," the dragon alerts his friend of his presence. After Wrio picks out the perfect flowers for you the silver haired man starts digging.

"When was the last time you slept?" 'Cause you look like you're the one dying.' "A few hours ago." "No, actually slept. Fulls nights rest?" A pause filled the air, whether it was from him debating the truth or just purely thinking he possessed the answer. "Days ago." At this Wrio felt him stop moving, staring at him.

"We all feel horrible for what happened to her," 'To you',

"But the truth is there's nothing we can do now other than let Sigewinnie do her job, and for everyone to hope." Icy blue eyes were finally able to meet, a pathetic sigh escaping Wriothesley. He knew he was being irrational and his friend was right. Before he could muster a response, "Go back to her. Make yourself comfortable and sleep. She'll be there when you rise, I promise you." And with that, Wriothesley watched him walk away. Alone, there he stood holding the flowers that mounted to know more than a bouquet of clumsy words and feelings.

The rest of the walk was short before he was able to open the door, true to her promise the door slid open with ease. A part of him hoped he'd see you awake, laughing. Or even better yet, awake from this nightmare with you holding him saying it was all just a bad dream. But neither of those were the cards. Nothing changed other than the nurses location. 'When will this paradox end.' he scoffed.

The flowers were now placed in a vase next to you, true to his word Wriothesley made a bed right on the ground next to you and slept.

------------------------------------------------------------

Sun shone in on the room evidence of a new day. The duke groaned getting up, stretching realizing how sore his body was from sleeping on the floor. In a weird way he believed it was worth it, he felt more energized. And for a while, even if it was only a few minutes in his dream; everything was okay again.

However once again his routine of reputation started.

as the day grew later a new guest snuck in the infirmary "How long has he been like this?" Navia asked, "Hours. A day." she quickly nodded before walking towards the duke.

"Wrio man. This? This isn't doing anything for anyone other than hurting yourself. Why are you torturing yourself more? I understand what you're feeling, we all are sorry for what happened to her." Theres those words again. 'We all feel bad' 'We're sorry.' How can anyone else understand what he feels? He's the reason you're dying. He should of looked sooner at you. He should of taken that side. He should of finished quicker to help you. He should of known an abush was going to happen. He shouldn't of even let you get out of bed that day. You're going to die and its all because of your sincerely,

A harsh snap drags him out of his thoughts. Resting her hand back at her side she continued. "Listen man you just gotta' hang in there for all of us and most importantly her." "I kn-" He's cut off by Sigewinnie rushing down to their spot. With his throat getting dry he feels his heart sink to his feet. What happened to you?

"Your grace, she requested to see you." His eyes lit up and sprinted to your room, swinging open the door hastily. "Hi." He froze staring at you. You're alive. His eyes search your face all over, not being able to say anything. What felt like forever but was realistically thirty seconds, "Are you just going to stand there or come and give me a hug? Sigewinnie said it wouldn't affect any of my stitches."

Needing no further push he was at your side in seconds holding you close to his chest. Your head laid on his heartbeat; being able to hear it. Muscular arms wrapped tightly around you, his head was placed on yours. After a few more seconds you can feel a tear slide down onto your shoulder. "I'm so glad-" he couldn't find the strength to finish that but both of you knew what the next words were. 'That you're not dead.'

"Sigewinnie told me how lucky I am," "I'm the luckiest baby. I don't know what I would of done without you, I'm so happy you woke up love." subconsciously his grip on you grew tighter. He pulled back, tears glossy as he held you. Smiling. It was the first time a smile grew on his face in days, he was truly a goner without you.

"I love you so much. I never want another moment to go to waste between us, ever again. I don't know what I woulda' done without you, princess. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to protect you better." "You didn't know, neither of us did. Okay? You can't beat yourself up about it. All that matters is that I'm going to recover, because its not our time to part yet. I love you too, Wrio."

The rest of the night he spent glued to your side.

As days ticked down, you were cleared to go home under the pretense you kept a low profile. Which obviously wasn't a problem as the duke was your right hand man, not allowing you to do anything alone. Out of curiosity and fear.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Babe you almost ready?" Wriothesley asked, fixing his tie. In honor of your life he felt the two of you needed to go out to dinner and celebrate, he wanted nothing more than to spoil his precious girl.

"Mhm! One second," you saying while looking at yourself one last time in the mirror before deciding you loved how you looked for tonight. The rest of the date went well, Including Wrio doing everything for you. "You look so fucking gorgeous darling." he showered you in compliments. And honestly? Spoil you he did.

"Was renting the whole roof top really necessary?" and it was as if that sentence triggered something inside him. He took a deep inhale getting nervous before taking a long sip of his champagne.

"Yes."

Before any questions were asked, he was holding your hand kneeling in-front of you with the most gorgeous ring you've seen.

"Y/n. I'm so badly in love with you. I knew I loved you the moment I met you; and from then it only grows every day. I've never been more sure about something in my life before. You. And losing that, was the worst week of my life. You bring me so much happiness I could never love another soul as much as I love yours, princess. I never want another day to pass without you knowing you're the love of my life, and the only person I want to grow old with. Will you, Y/n L/n. Marry me?"

and just like that, in the same way he did just seconds ago before turning both of your lives forever - "Yes."

The biggest smirk sat on the mans face as he stood up to kiss you, maybe the worst week of his life wasn't that bad at all.

[thedisablednaturalist]

If you have mysterious chronic pain and have the means, here's a list of doctors you should see other than your primary and a rheumatologist:

Neurologist and/or sleep specialist

Pain management doctor (also sometimes called pain and spine doctor)

Therapist that specializes in helping physically disabled people (having chronic illness sucks and you need someone to talk to)

Psychiatrist (most people with chronic illness also need psychiatric meds)

Physical therapy or rehabilitation center that specifically has procedures for chronic illnesses. My chiropractor acts as this for me but I'd only recommend that as a last resort. If you have something like fibromyalgia or ehler dahlos syndrome you need to be very careful with how you stretch and how much exercise you do. My chiropractor has special exercise equipment that is very gentle and has a lot of padding to reduce pain.

ENT (Ears, nose, throat doctor)

Nutritionist

A primary care doctor will at most only perform blood tests. Many illnesses do not show up on these blood tests. You want to get checked for rheumatoid arthritis, lyme disease, and lupus. Even if your doctor tells you it's because your vitamin d level or iron is too low, I would still recommend further testing.

They'll most likely refer you to a rheumatologist regardless, but unless you actually have arthritis I wouldn't rely on them too much. Mine charged too much for a 10 minute appointment where all she did was give me meds and would not discuss any other treatment or management options. She also laughed at me when I asked about a mobility device. It might just be I had a bad experience but it seems like those doctors are just given chronic illness patients cause no one else wants them.

You need to get your spine looked at. An MRI is essential. At the very least get an xray of your neck and spine. A neurologist or pain + spine doctor will most likely order one.

Neurologists will check your nerves and brain function. They'll check if your nerves are overly sensitive or unresponsive. You'll get stabbed and shocked a lot.

Pain and spine doctors are the ones who will give you pain medicine. It will not be immediate. They will need to examine you (MRI) and try other medications and treatments first. This is because insurance is not going to pay for stronger drugs until you've exhausted other options. You'll most likely start with something like duloxotine, gabapentin, prescription NSAIDs, and/or muscle relaxers. Once my results came in from the MRI I was given steroid shots in my spine. They will give them in different spots first to see which spot is most effective, so don't worry if it only works one time and not the others. I cannot stress the importance of having this type of doctor on your care team. Being able to have the power to manage my pain has helped so much. This is also the doctor that signed my form for my handicapped parking permit.

Sleep studies are expensive, but sleep is extremely important for your quality of life. So many people have sleep apnea and don't know it. CPAP machines today are really quiet and comfortable. This will be essential for tackling chronic fatigue.

An ENT doctor is only if you end up having sleep apnea or have any issues with your sinuses. I had to go and get my nose fixed because even with my cpap I still wasn't getting enough air.

You need to have some way of moving your body. Only do this after you are already on a treatment plan. It's hard to do things like exercise when you are still dealing with pain and fatigue. Doctors will want you to do physical therapy first but that's not a good idea because you won't stick with it due to pain. You need to deal with the underlying problems before working on stuff like exercise and nutrition. Able bodied young people who don't exercise and don't eat well are not in constant pain, so you shouldn't be either. If they tell you to lose weight drop the doctor, that's a cop out response.

I haven't reached the step to get a nutritionist, but changing what foods you eat and when can really help with pain management. You also may find that something you eat is exacerbating your symptoms.

With my insurance plan I can pretty much call up a doctor and make an appointment without a referral. I know some plans need referrals, so either call your insurance for one or get your primary care doctor to give you one. Idk how this works for medicare but I think you can just make an appointment with anyone who takes medicare.

I have not been able to obtain a script for a mobility device from any of my doctors. If you have a type of doctor you'd recommend for that please chime in. I've heard occupational therapists are the way to go though but still need to look into that myself.

Also do not feel bad if you cannot afford these. It is not your fault. Healthcare especially in the USA fucking sucks. This is mostly only useful for people who are in the investigative stage who have insurance. I'm not saying "oh just do yoga". Your pain is not your fault, and it can take a long time to figure out a plan that's right for you. I didn't know what doctors I was supposed to see when I started out, and was just given to a rheumatologist since there isn't a fibromyalgia doctor. I only had blood tests at that point. Hopefully this helps people save time and make sure they can fully investigate the cause of their pain (or at least how to manage it better)

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

So to really oversimplify it, Calcium is what your body releases to signal your muscles and tissues to tense up, and Magnesium is what your body uses to tell your muscles and tissues to relax again.

An imbalance of these is BAD.

Too much or too little of either can stop your heart in extreme cases, and suddenly changing your serum/blood levels is particularly dangerous.

Part of why vitamin D is important but also why it's so fucked up supplements often contain magnitudes more than they claim they do, is because vitamin d so strongly impacts how much calcium -also iron- you will suddenly be absorbing from your food, which can trigger cardiac spasms [heart attacks with no clot].

This is why hard water causes muscle cramps and headaches, because it causes you to overdose on calcium, or alternately magnesium, depending on the hard water, location etc...

This is why "calcium channel blockers" relax heart muscle tension, lower your blood pressure and relax your muscles.

This is also why trying to relax your muscles more without lowering your blood pressure is fucking impossible. A problem for anyone with muscle tension but also low blood pressure. You literally cannot treat one without making the other a lot worse.

This is why magnesium supplements -IF YOU ARE DEFICIENT- can help with sleep, high blood pressure, pain and muscle tension.

This is also why -due to the physical feedback created by being physically unable to relax to your nervous system- magnesium can help with anxiety.

You need both for healthy bones too, btw, not just calcium supplements as you age.

Low calcium or too much magnesium can also cause slowed heart rate, missing heartbeats, dizziness, weakness and fatigue. HOWEVER, too much calcium can also cause skipped heartbeats and dizziness from a lack of proper circulation because your heart isn't relaxing enough between beats. Both are dangerous.

BOTH of these minerals can build up in your body and aren't like 'water soluble' nutrients in the body in the same way that vitamin C is for example where too much will just be flushed away, your body stores these bitches in your bones pretty obsessively, so it's a good idea to get your levels checked if you think supplementing either might help you. [Technically they are water soluble, but it's helpful to think of them as being like 'fat soluble' nutrients that your body will hold onto, just like, for bones and not fat... This is also why meat broth and meat in general is high in calcium, once life isn't holding the minerals in the bones it dissolves out into the meat.]

If you have problems with blood pressure, heart symptoms, tension or fatigue at all, it is a good idea to rule out low or high calcium or magnesium as a cause because it's a really simple thing to treat with supplements or dietary changes that doctors can't deny you once you have the information about your blood levels in your hands. You only need them to agree to check your levels here and there to make sure nothing is getting out of hand.

I'm not just saying "ask your doctor before supplementing" I am saying "Doctors are necessary idiots ask them to actually CHECK your blood levels before advising you on whether or not to supplement".

This is why I find it interesting that people with high blood pressure or chest pain or cardiac spasms are asked about their salt intake or told to avoid salt but aren't ever asked about their calcium intake. I'm kind of low-level pissed at all times that doctors don't check both of these mineral levels on a regular basis for everyone.

Having the right mineral levels, including these but also phosphorus and potassium and iron etc... has such a HUGE body-wide impact on things you would never guess they would impact so so badly, but they are like, the main components of the molecules your body uses to do everything, including like, signal nerves and move muscles. You use these things every time your heart beats and every time you breathe or have a thought, etc... They impact everything. Everything.

Hell a lot of lists of the minerals you need will straight up not even mention phosphorus, but your body uses phosphate groups to make ATP... You know, the molecule that is literally "energy" in your body at a cellular level. It is recommended that healthy adults get between 800 mg and 1,200 mg of phosphorus each day. And it's hard to source because most plant sources aren't bio-available unless you soak your grains [remember that trend of "activating" nuts and grains?... I like cokey-cola because is uses phosphoric acid in place of citric acid which gives it a dryer taste and helps my energy levels in ways not accounted for by the caffeine]. But also too much Phosphorus can pull calcium out of your bones and leave it free floating around your body to build up random places and cause problems!

Potassium is an important electrolyte in your BRAIN and without it you can't think critically and can be prone to all sorts of mental problems like confusion, depression, mental fatigue, running instinctively on autopilot and not engaging critically with ideas because you brain literally can't! Low Potassium makes you more susceptible to mental manipulation and lowers your defenses to negative thought patterns.

I know it can sound stupid and fake, but getting the nutrients you need really does impact your day to day health and specifically your energy levels and mood. Mineral deficiencies can cause depression, fatigue and anxiety and can make existing mental health problems so so much worse.

Kowing your micromineral levels is important! [I am sure trace minerals are important too but your body needs so little it's usually a lot harder to be deficient unless you have a very restricted diet or absorption issues].

Check your levels periodically with your doctor's help and make sure you keep them -not just- "in normal ranges" but have your doctor specify whether they are on the high or low end so you know where your wiggle room is to adjust accordingly depending on your symptoms and how those potentially reflect your personal body's needs. [ie: just because your iron isn't dangerously low doesn't mean supplementing it wouldn't help your energy levels, so long as you aren't getting too much, etc]

Btw this is also why starving yourself fucks you up. And it's why having a lot of food aversions gets tricky to manage. You need to eat. You need specific nutrients and not just calories [you need those too]. And by *need* I don't just mean you might feel slightly crappier in some vague abstract way, I mean you need it for your heart and brain to function correctly and for your muscles to move. [Your brain is you]

[anteroom-of-death]

Teacher's Pet part 14

Synopsis: The Reader gets a potential glimpse into her future. She also makes an enemy.

A/n: yeaaayyyy. More fun. Fuckery world building. Thanks to all my readers. I should probably do a tag list instead of zapping ur inboxes. Uhhh....yeah. to my mutuals who have to deal with me and aren't attached to this, I am sorry. I love you and I would donate my organs to you.

Grades were posted. Most were good, nothing to really write home about. You did far better than you expecting. The self-doubt really was deep-rooted, wasn’t it?

Except one. That stupid alien gave you a near-perfect. Just one point shy of an absolutely perfect one-hundred percent.

So much for no favoritism…

You’d take it anyways. And not bring it up…

Work was slow but it was steady.

He even met you between shifts at your park.

You started feeling a tad insane without him. Did love feel like this? You admitted you had little experience with love. Just what you attempted to create in the past. And trashy books and television shows and movies and songs…

You needed him like you needed a cigarette and a stiff drink after a long day.

Bella Swan would be so proud of you, you degraded yourself in your mind.

“How is work going?” The Doctor asked with genuine shine of curiosity in his tone and face.

“The amount of professors in now…I have to dodge them! I do think the statistics professor I had two terms ago recognized me!” You spoke in a shocked, scared tone. You didn’t need that getting out. Could ruin your future plans.

“Oh no!” He chuckled, as he handed you a bit of sandwich.

“You aren’t forgettable.”

You skeptically glared over at him.

“Any who. How was your gig at the student union?”

“No one appreciated the irony of Pink Floyd.”

“And?”

“Everyone loves Doctor Disco!” He flourished then played air guitar.

You burst out laughing. With a quick roll of your eyes, you shook your head.

“You’re such a nerd.”

“I invented the concept!”

“Probably true!” You let yourself think of his time on Earth. Who knew what funk he has spread? You weren’t going to delve into it much more.

Yet.

One day, when you felt brave enough.

“I have to go to London for a while in two weeks. Just maintenance of the Black Archives…I need to streamline some stuff for making it easier for my next few regenerations. And update some things about a plan for proxy since another organization is down to a woman named Gwen and her husband and she’s thinking of retiring the entire engagement. Her…leader hasn’t returned to the planet in ages. I doubt he ever will. This planet has caused him too much pain. Which, ironic, since his ancestors came from here. Talk about mother wounds! Just upload all the databases for UNIT to deal with.”

“Inviting me?” You clarified.

“Yeah…I think it’ll take a week. Especially with the layers of bureaucracy that is in place these days.” He looked over, his hair caught in the wind. “Could you spare a week? No TARDIS, no time travel. Just hop to, hop out, the slow way around.”

You licked your top row of teeth and scraped it back into place.

“Sure?”

“Perfect. I’ll have them ready a room, a better room for us.”

“One with a window?”

“If they do have those.”

You nodded.

“It’s a date!”

“Fantastic.” He smiled but seemed to flash in his eyes some hidden response from just the one word…

You chewed your shared sandwich and sipped your can of Coke Zero. The weather was getting warmer and the sun was actually shining in one of those perfect, photo-ready days.

“The vitamin D feels good, doesn’t it?” You turned your head to face the sun. The heat felt too good on your skin. You let a little moan slip through your lips.

“Perhaps. I might need a sun crème soon.” He replied.

You snorted. He was bone pale, but you didn’t know how alien skin worked yet.

“Yeah, you are pretty pale.”

Your alarm went off and you had to go.

Final good-byes said and you stalked off.

You had to plan out your little London escape. If it was hard work for him, you wanted to kill time in comfort. Do some sightseeing. Nothing major. London had tons of viral cafés and pop-ups.

The time flew by…

And suddenly you were off and away in another fancy armored Range Rover with armed escorts.

He did do you a bit of justice and got you a room with a view. Just not a particularly stunning one…

He went off, rather rapidly if you did say so yourself, because something needed him to submit his DNA and he couldn’t have any radiant interference. Petronella needed to be with him to get her DNA analyzed or something. You were not going to try to comprehend.

Fine by you, you’d nose around. There were so many floor and he gave you some sort of weird blank paper he said would get you through anything you needed.

“It’s psychic paper!” He said, smile up to his ears.

“Looks like a piece of printer paper shoved into an old wallet to me.” You replied as you regarded the object.

Fine by you, you stuffed it in your jean’s pocket.

You found yourself on the first floor, and saw a door open. There was a sign posted on an easel. ‘Companions and Surviving Family Support Group’, it proclaimed.

You put two and two together. It was probably in reference to the man doing who-knows-what.

You weren’t a companion per say. The Doctor assured you as much.

Did you invade? Did you go look at your future? Or a potential future? It mentioned family members…

Your curiosity got the best of you. Like that damn cat!

You walked in, it was set up like a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Coffee, sweet treats, chairs all in a circle.

There were already a crowd of people.

And your entrance wasn’t exactly planned.

You slid onto the chair that was closest to the door. An east exit if this was too much.

“Oh! A new face!” A woman with a lot of life etched into her face with a kind smile and a mop of white-shock hair, her lips as red as blood.

“Does, is…am I late?” Was the best you could choke out. You could feel your eyes start to bulge. You swallowed hard. All eyes were on you. You didn’t like it. You preferred anonymity.

The mistake was already clear in your mind.

“No, dove. Right on time! We’re still waiting on Ian! I’m Jo!” She scooted her chair closer to you.

You thrust your tongue out and bit it’s side.

“I’m (y/n).”

A short woman with a leather jacket and all the authoritarian air of something that placed your hairs on the back of your neck at attention glared at you and Jo. “Why don’t we save it all for introductions…”

You got up and grabbed a bottle of water and sat back down.

An ancient man wandered in and sat down.

“Oh! Ian, love! We got a new straggler!” Jo said to him and gave him a hug that seemed too strong for her aged body.

The bossy girl cleared her throat. “Now we can start.”

You hated her already. She clearly ran this group with an iron fist.

There was Jo, Ian, the bitch’s name was Yaz, Martha, a woman who called herself Ace, a married couple named Nyssa and Tegan, a grandmother and grandson duo named Graham and Ryan, a Mel, and some young man named Luke…

Quite a big group.

It came down to you, you introduced yourself. And were supposed to give some brief synopsis of your relationship with the Doctor.

You stared off into space.

“Yeah, he’s here…doing something. I don’t know. I’m his…girlfriend. He’s also a professor at my university.” You stared at your left palm and gauged the reaction. “Nothing major. I’ve got his promise that he’s not going to get me in the way of death.” You finished with a shrug. “He introduced me to his…ex recently. Some milf named Missy. Have you lot met her?”

Yaz’s eyes could have make entrails out of you…

“What? Did I not brush my teeth correctly?” You pointed that faux-question towards her.

“She told me she didn’t do relationships.” She spoke in a tiny voice eventually.

“Well, maybe I’m special.” You shot Yaz a shit-eating grin masked as an innocent smile.

“Oh! I heard the Master went female!” Jo broke up your brewing tiff. “He was such a softie towards me! I enjoyed our little battles.”

You laughed and covered up your palm.

The conversations went on. Mainly centered around Missy now. Apparently she was the prime minister and tortured Martha and her family. Also, body-snatched Nyssa’s father. And became a cat. She’d certainly done her fair share of damage. No wonder she was chained up in a basement in Bristol of all places.

That explained her feline nature.

“Which Doctor are you with?”

“I don’t know. Tall? Thin? Scottish? Severe face? Plays guitar? Wild grey hair. Dark roots, too handsome…yeah.” You didn’t know how many or what the Doctor looked like previously.

“Oh. So the one before Yaz and Graham and me!” Ryan piped up. “She mentioned being a grey-haired Scot right before we met her.”

“Oh, so he got his wish of being a chick next.” You affirmed.

“Wonder what happened to you!” Yaz said, venom starting to leak into her voice.

“Nothing I need to know about, okay?” You pressured back. Two could play this game.

She clearly had sour grapes over you getting chosen and not her.

More conversations broke out, more story-swapping. You started to feel beyond way out just out of your depths. You had to keep your calm. Especially in front of your new foe. Any weakness and you were going to be either throwing down with her or she’d do something unspeakable.

She was apparently a police officer, after all!

“So you’ve never gone on an adventure? To space? Not even back in time? Or forward?” Ace spoke incredulously.

“No, I’m not going to put my life at risk. I made him promise to not. He’s retired. He just needs to help UNIT and rehabilitate Missy.”

“She doesn’t stay good!” Yaz spit out. She then told her tale of him and how the only way to break free from him, the Doctor had to hand Missy over to the Nazis.

“Not my problem.” You said, after finally scraping your jaw off the floor.

“And wow, what the fuck happened between now and when? Handing over someone to the literal Nazis?” You shot up an errant hand and glared. “And hanging around cops. No offense. It’s like historical Jesus versus American Jesus.” You made the decision to bite your middle finger nail in a covert attempt to flip her off.

“Maybe you had something to do with it.” She accused.

“Oh, yeah. Blame me.” You said.

Others attempted civility between the two of you.

Martha seemed between two minds here.

“Just remember how powerful your emotions are!” Ian called out. “Especially how deeply the Doctor evokes them in us!”

It dawned on you, and you decided to take the highest of roads. “Yeah, were dealing with some alien. Like…damn. We really are out here getting….cut up over an alien. He’s our weird alien. But yeah.” He was your alien. And you were going to defend your man, but you didn’t want Yaz and her feelings to make you any less powerful. “His body count has got to be in the millions.” You used the term in a way to dig in that the Doctor picked you for the mainstream meaning and not Yaz. But it worked for companions too!

“Who knows how many of us he’s taken a shine to!” Suddenly you felt yourself heart plummet. You knew you weren’t special as part of a group, but you decided to soothe yourself with your marked differences. No magical abduction story. Just a normal, morally-grey student and teacher relationship. Only it was your luck to end up with the most ran-through alien.

And, it did suit you. You too were ‘ran-through’.

You wished he was free and you could get some comfort here…

You felt yourself return to normal, and decided to pass the ultimate catch.

“Sorry for getting heated. The past month or so since he’s revealed his double life to me, has been…shattering. I’ve only recently discovered that he was…you know, not some man I hang out with. I only recently started calling him Doctor. Not Professor Smith.”

The though of him not taking anyone else as a lover after you did fill you with a sense of pride. Whatever impact you had, that was a mark in your favor. Loyal to you…even if you were dead or broken-up or whatever your fate was to mess around with anyone else.

A permanent (y/n)-shaped hole no one could even get close enough to fill.

When he was done with his task you’d have to slap him and then suck him off.

Martha finally put in her two cents.

“Just don’t get hurt. The last time he was in love when I was with him…so bad. The ending was enough to destroy me.”

“Thank you.”

The conversation went back to normal. You really enjoyed Jo’s stories. Apparently he was a white-haired debonair sort for her. You were curious to see what that had looked like. You doubted it could compare to your particular Doctor, but it was probably very close.

You found yourself laughing and getting along with most. Except for Yaz. You both kept finding yourselves shooting daggers at each other.

You tried to rise above it.

However. You were only human…

You heard a sharp rap at the door and turned at the noise.

It was your Doctor.

“Sorry. I was going to the toilets. Heard some nice familiar voices. Smelt the coffee! I love a cup of coffee after genetic sequencing…Hello!”

There were nary a word as he strode over and made a cup, dumping about a dozen sugar packets in.

“I’ll let you all talk amongst yourselves. Oh, and (y/n), I have tickets to walk through the Chelsea Physic Garden at three. Will you join me? And Martha, I am so deeply sorry for all I’ve done to you. It’s weighed on my conscience since I was a young man in a bow-tie. Truly. From the bottoms of both my hearts. And, oh, faces I don’t know yet, catch your laters.” He shot a quick peace sign.

He breezed out with the same ease that he came in with…

You flushed hard and felt yourself wanting to kick your legs hard. The smile that crept up around your face was probably very goofy. You felt suddenly very giddy and lovesick. And embarrassed.

You swore you heard Yaz mutter something about “Daddy issues”.

You wanted to snap and fight her on the floor.

Jo and Ace heckled. “Oh, he’s back to being a groovy gentleman.” Jo said. “I recognize that red jacket!”

After a while, everyone seemed to wrap it up.

You received quite a few warnings about how passionate a relationship with the Doctor is, and how it would eventually run it’s course.

You didn’t know whether to heed it, or believe him. You were airing on the side of him. After all, he could have popped down here in his TARDIS, but he was following your regulations down to the letter. Changed behaviors, and for whatever reason, when you were long gone, and he was a she, the Doctor didn’t take Yaz up on her romantic offerings.

You felt ashamed of your ‘I can fix him’/’I am the only exception’ mindset. You were a rebel to the idea of monogamy usually. You also didn’t believe in true love. Not after all that you’d seen at work and even experienced in your personal life. However, the beating of your heart and the ache in your soul and the throb of your cunt interfered…

You felt like you were his favorite.

Maybe you were.

You were delusional enough, you decided.

With final hugs and you swore you’d get down and learn more about your shared alien, you’d exited to go and text him that you were out front, smoking.

“You know, maybe you died from lung cancer.” Yaz materialized, carrying some stuff to her car. “Or emphysema.”

You blew out a puff in her general direction.

“I don’t need a lecture. He’s already on my ass enough to get me to quit.” You played back.

“So, lady Doctor. What does she look like?” You asked. Curious. You tried a friendly route. “Still Scottish?” The two incarnations of Time Lords you had met had been. It was an honest question. You even tried a cordial laugh.

“No, definitely not Scottish.”

You nodded.

“She’s blonde and has the most amazing eyes! I took her to get her ears pierced. She’s the most incredible and infuriating person I’ve ever met.”

“Apparently that’s par for the course.” You agreed.

She gave you some agreement.

“Does she still play guitar?” You offered an opportunity to bond, girl to girl. You may have hated her, but a cop on your side may come in handy. One day. And you both were tied to each other now.

So…you had to act your age or whatever.

She was a little younger than you. You could remember being her age. Empathy.

“No, she can’t even carry a tune. She sings all the time.”

You had to let a small snort escape.

“He can sing really well.” You cupped a palm to your mouth. “It’s a bit annoying at times, you know. He frequently does during his lectures.”

“So…that hadn’t changed.” You could see the gears in her brain turning.

“Wait, he’s your professor?” She exclaimed.

“Not currently.” You shrugged, as his text saying that he was coming down popped up, absolved of guilt.

“That’s so wrong!”

“Honey, the Doctor abducts barely legal girls with a degree of regularity. I think a tame affair with a student who started uni later than most is the best-case scenario. You included.” You flicked a bit of ash off your cigarettes end. “No offense.”

“Yeah…” You clearly won.

He swanned into the little front garden at the entrance of UNIT. He changed to a hoodie and simple black blazer and a relaxed pair of checked trousers.

It made your heart skip a beat.

“Hey. I was thinking Italian for dinner. Or Thai. In the fifty-second century there’s a great collision of their flight colonies.”

You smacked your teeth together and let out the final puff of smoke.

“You’re the Doctor before my Doctor.” Yaz gazed up, a look of pre-mourning in her eyes.

“As my wife, River, would say, ‘Spoilers, sweetie.’ It’s nice to meet you early. I’ll try to wipe you from my memory to make it easier for my future self.” He gave Yaz’s shoulder a squeeze.

“Yeah, good luck. See you soon?” You called out as you let yourself be swept off your feet by your particular Doctor.

“Sure?” You heard her say.

A few blocks later and going on the Underground, you pulled him close by the lapels. You gave him a firm kiss and slapped his ass. It was a ‘thank-you’ in a small, simple way. You’d never end up, all things go as planned, like any of those perfect victims. Who knew, maybe you’d dump him. It was all open-ended.

You had your entire life ahead of you. More or less.

For now, it was just you, the Doctor, and a walk in a garden with a fabulous dinner date.

“What was that for?” He looked at you quizzically.

“You’ll never know…” You grinned immensely and a little psychotically. You felt your nose crinkle a bit.

“Oh?” He replied back, skeptical in tone.

It was a start.

“Yeah…” You breathed, inhaling this moment. Inhaling the scent of him, you felt sane, safe, stable and most importantly- in love and loved back.

The train pulled up.

A perfect start to a perfect week.

He snaked out the psychic paper and tapped it like it was an oyster card. You entered the platform and smiled up at him...

Yeah, life was beyond awesome.

[gemmakesart]

Gaz x TM!reader

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Transmasc reader

Summary: You explain to Gaz how you can never be a real man, and he proves to you that you are, at least in his eyes.

Note: Mentions of dysphoria, heavily implied psychological abuse in the past, scars, nudity, depression, non-violent self harm

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You couldn't remember how long you'd been sitting there, staring yourself down in the mirror. It's slanted frame was supposed to make you look better. Why wasn't it? Why could you just never be good enough to even think of yourself as a man? Your thoughts were running at a million mile per hour, mostly thoughts of hate, when the door to your apartment creaked open. You couldn't even afford a good apartment. That's how much of a failure you were. Your mother would be disappointed.

She'd say, "What happened to my little princess? Why did you do this to yourself? Did you even think about how I would feel, as a mother? You selfish, selfish devil daughter. Never even send me money."

Your thoughts were spiraling when you felt those hands on your shoulders. You whipped around, half expecting your mother's cold, sharp acrylics in your delusion. No. It was your boyfriend, Kyle.

"Love? Are you alright? You don't seem.. here." His voice was concerned as your cold gaze turned down. Couldn't even cry. He pulled you into his hold as he saw the way your eyes fell.

He'd been away for some time, out on deployment. You hadn't had an outlet for your hysterical thoughts, no one to tell you they were illogical. You'd spent most of your time, after the first few weeks that were good, crying. Curled into the sheets that barely smelled like him anymore, painful sobs racking through your body. If only you could do that now.

"Kyle." His name felt guilty on your tongue. "'M sorry. I-I was just... thinking. About my mum, and myself, and..." You trailed off into sadness, grateful for the way he pulled your hips into his lap, and hushed you gently. "I've been doing to much thinking. Haven't I?"

Kyle softly rubbed your back. "About what hon?" You had to force the words out. Your mouth was so tired.

"Stuff. How I won't ever really be a man, how- how I shouldn't even be here.. how my dad should've left before I could happen." You said all these like factual truths, testaments to your worthlessness. You could see the concern in Kyle's eyes.

"That's not true. You're a man to me, and you're a man to you. That's all that really matters, yeah? And if you weren't here, hell knows where I'd be right now." He ticked through, one by one, trying to make you see sense out of your mental echo chamber of negative thoughts. It hurt to think about. It stung you, that you had possibly hurt him by hurting yourself.

You curled your arms around your cold, starving, naked form. That's right. You hadn't even been able to get yourself out of bed to make food. Kyle placed his hands on your shoulders, seeming to notice your protective movements, and the littered scabs of vomit around your mouth. (You'd gotten sick from staying inside to much. The doctor had said a vitamin D deficit and lack of proper diet, and given you a concerned look.)

"Look, love. How about I make you dinner, and then we can talk. I think you'll feel better on a full stomach." You nodded. You knew that you needed food. You just didn't want to feel needy. He rubbed his thumb on your cheek. "Hell, I'll draw you a bath. You deserve it." You nodded again, the same tired, struggled movement.

With that, Kyle scooped you up, moving you into the bathroom. You laid against his form, trying to memorize every little change of his body as the bath slowly filled with warm water. You missed the sensation of him until you felt the warm water caress you, stinging at every raw patch you had scraped into yourself. You whined. Kyle carefully laid you down. "You know, you're still awfully handsome. You'd look more handsome with food in you and less pale, but you're handsome. I'll take care of you now." All you could do was nod along, finally being able to let out some of the tears that welled up in you.

You sunk as far into the bath as safety would allow. You were embarrassed at how dirty you were. But Kyle didn't seem to mind. He never minded. He grabbed the softest washcloth you two owned, wetting it in the bath water. "You need help washing up, yeah? I'll help you." He scrubbed gently, but with expert precision.

You couldn't help but want to cry as he went over your chest. You'd tried so many things before. You'd gotten top surgery, but it was slightly botched. You were uneven, and had to get a follow up because you'd gotten infected. You ached at even the memory. He worked farther down, and you winced as the washcloth went over the bumps that were your ribs. You'd lost almost all of the muscle and fat you had built up when Kyle was here. You were stick-thin now, and you hated it. He scrubbed your inner thighs, raw from rubbing together when you cried. Your knees that hurt from disuse, your feet that were nearly frozen off.

He dipped your head into the water, getting it thoroughly soaked before he scrubbed shampoo into it. His fingers traced across your scalp, feeling incredibly good as he rinsed the shampoo out. The water was still pretty hot, so he gave you a little kiss on the forehead, standing up.

"I'm gonna make dinner, yeah? I'm gonna make you the best food you've ever had. I promise you. You just sit here for a bit." With that, he walked away, and you curled into the hot water.

You could have sat in that water forever, but you liked when Kyle came back, not hesitating to wrap you up in a warm towel, which you burrowed yourself into. He helped you slip into your clothes, comfy ones, and dried your hair gently. You looked very fluffy by the end of it.

He led you out to the kitchen, murmuring about how you were doing "so good", and you just needed to keep it up. He sat you down on a chair around the coffee table (your apartment wasn't big enough for a full dining table), where there were two plates of food. Rice and beans and chicken. Filling, hearty foods.

"I- Thank you. 'M sorry that I upset you." You curled more into your sweatshirt. Kyle seemed very concerned at this. "I'm not mad at you. You should have this. Why don't you eat?" You just nodded lamely, forcing yourself to eat the food. It wasn't bad food. It was definitely good, but you just hadn't had food in so long it almost hurt to eat even just that plate. You wanted to cry.

You could only manage to eat about half of the food, before you groaned and leaned your head onto Kyle's shoulder. He quickly moved it down to his lap. You didn't mind that. You curled into his lap, enjoying the warmth. He combed his fingers through your hair, gently propping you up again. "I bet you're tired, huh?" You nodded weakly. You'd been in bed, but were ashamed to admit you hadn't slept much at all. You wouldn't mind getting some good sleep tonight.

He lifted you up, gently plopping you down on your bed. He snaked his arms around you, leaning into your neck. "I missed you." You murmured back, your tired eyes closing and sleep drifting into your mind. You slept relatively well, only waking up twice through the whole night. Safe to say, your life was much better when Kyle was there.