#doctor who crack

[roxannepolice]

They'd bond.

[neptune-scythe]

No one:

The master: I got drums in my head and they won't go

[queenmeriadoc]

Me in Doctor Who: Whose horse is that?

[korixae]

been made a purchase

[yelsapo]

"It was the wrong anagram" needs to be added to the list of dw lines that sound arbitrary on their own but are absolutely HORRIFYING in context

[starlessmistake]

The Doctor & "Would you fuck your clone?"

[truebluewhocanoe]

-5, 10, 11, and 13 are knocked out almost immediately in the fray -3 picks up and bodily throws 2 (KO) -7 is taken out by the tag team duo of 9 (brawn) and 8 (biting onto him so hard as to latch on and weigh him down) -1 and 12 duke it out, 12 gets the upper hand but 3 comes in and bonks their heads together (double KO) -6 jumps 9, 6 wins due to superior sensory offenses -4 and 8 engage. 4 calmly places 8 on top of a very high shelf. 8 falls off, bumps his head, and loses his memory (KO) -3 takes a Venusian Aikido fighting stance as 6 approaches. 6 mirrors the stance, and they circle. 3 then breaks his stance and swiftly kicks 6 in the crotch. (KO) -4 uses the opportunity to grab 3 with his scarf and attempt to choke him out. 3 frees himself, and one awkwardly angled karate chop to the shoulder is somehow enough to knock out 4.

3 wins!!!

[causalityparadoxes]

Rtd said: oh you want me to fix canon?

And then took a literal novelty sized HAMMER to it

[nobleriver]

DOCTOR WHO | Forest of the Dead

[stewy]

Martha’s eyes prickled with tears, but she forced them away, taking charge. "OK then," she said, "I’ll make some sparks for you!" On a wild impulse, Martha pulled the Doctor towards her – and she kissed him.

And suddenly there was a light in the darkness of his mind, a blazing bolt of honey-gold colour. Strong and powerful, glittering like a tiny sun. He felt a shudder of fear ripple through the Clade web, and the Doctor grinned.

"You know who that is?" he demanded, new strength returning to his thoughts. "That’s Martha Jones. You tried to destroy her and you failed. You tried to use her against me and you failed."

THE DOCTOR & MARTHA JONES in DOCTOR WHO (SERIES 3).

[astrhae]

-- "I really do remember, though. Every second with you."

[roxannepolice]

Eleventh Doctor's subconscious deciding his next face: I'm going to look like the man I saved from the fixed point of Pompeii, to remind me that my duty is to help, first: do no harm, every life is valuable. Fifth Doctor's subconscious deciding his next face: That one random guard was cute, tee hee.

[curioscurio]

me: doctor help I have multiple stab wounds

doctor: overweight. exactly 25 facial hairs more than the average woman. not conventionally attractive. period was a few days late. *speaking loudly and clearly into a mic on his label* Patient has PCOS and she needs OZEMPIC to live.

Ozempic Investor: *nodding in approval of brand name drop and donates 3million to the hospital*

me: *bleeds out*

[queenmeriadoc]

Me: Why do you feel the need to lick things?

The Doctor: I just do it to exam it, I need to know what it is. Besides you licked that one painting!

Me: That was different, that was a Van Gogh.

[olympain]

Don't laugh!

[secondhandgasstove]

im starting a compilation