#doctor strange slowburn

[xia0ming56]

Im drawing. A lvl prelims is next wk and im dRaWinG!!! 😭😭😭

[drgnflyteabox]

lament [1]

part one -> honey || part two -> tbd

series masterlist

pairing: john price x fem reader summary: as you recover from prolonged illness, you meet a man on a hike in the woods just as strange things begin happening around you. tags/warnings: creepy / horror vibes, slowburn, phone sex, masturbation, injuries, mention of hospitals, pneumonia, mobility aids, softdom!price (for now), dubcon due to intoxication, tags will update as the story does w.c: 5.9k

The woods are a peaceful, meditative thing. You’ve been spending your mornings there walking with Diva, meandering through the local trails and venturing off for pictures of red mushrooms or Diva in her little yellow raincoat, sniffing something or other.

The trails were scarcely used and took a couple of hours to finish, a longer trek in taller trees that closed off the sunlight and created peace through insulation, like an echo chamber of wet pitter patter from rain the night before and the gentle calls of birds, broken only by the sounds of your hiking shoes crunching gently through pebbles and leaves.

Quiet. It’s just what you need, slowly erasing memories of bright fluorescent lights and the smell of antiseptics. The trail isn’t elevated, it’s long, but not elevated. That’s important for your recovery, two months spent in a hospital bed attached to breathing apparatus.

Relief, freedom, as slow as your steps are and as beleaguered is your breathing, it’s pure relief. You’re no longer breathing through a straw, building strength walk by walk, spending time with Diva and watching her little tail wiggle under her coat. This time is good for her, too. You could sink to your knees and praise a higher being for the time off and sick pay policies your job has - so could Diva.

The shaking continues, your limbs still weak, muscles unused to standing and walking. You often find yourself sitting, on a log or a rock, and taking time to breathe and recover. Sometimes a granola bar makes its way into the mix, sometimes a handful of trail mix.

The last few times, there’s been a man. Tall, imposing, walking much quicker than you even with a brace around his knee. His posture tells you he takes himself pretty seriously, or he’s military, if there’s any difference.

Mutton chops, mustache, cargo pants. He’s been coming up behind you with sure steps, barely a limp even with his knee, and going by you so fast there's a breeze, makes you a little nervous to get mowed down.

Diva is weary of him. Her hackles raise, though she doesn’t bark, and she tucks close to you when he goes by. You don't feel unsafe, just a little surprised at the break in monotony no matter how tiny it is.

Doesn’t help that it’s pretty nice watching him go, that broad back and tight shirt, those well sculpted legs. Hey, you’re still sick and weak, still recovering. Sue me, you think, leaning on a tree when your lungs start burning again a little too much.

He stops, a few feet in front of you.

“You broken?” His voice is just as you imagined, rough maybe from smoking, maybe from overuse.

“What?” Broken?

“You alright?” He repeats, turning then. The quiet is a little oppressive now, with your struggle. You’re wheezing.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine-” you cough, dryly. “Just asthmatic.” It’s an easy explanation, you’re trying to get him to move on. You’ve never felt in danger, but it’s still the middle of the woods and he’s still a strange man.

“Need a hand?” He has to look down at you, even from a distance. His head is tilted down, arms folding across his chest, biceps calling to you like sirens.

You shake your head, squatting down as best you can, taking the breaths learned from your doctor and pulling out your steroid inhaler. One puff, two puff.

The man looks at you skeptically, eyes small and narrowed, flitting once to Diva who would fail as a service dog, but tries her best at guarding you despite being so small. Her gaze is pinpointed to him, as stiff as he is.

”Right, then,” is all he says before he’s back to his soldiers march.

You imagine him with horse blinders on and pulling a sled behind him, wheezing a laugh into the empty air.

Recovery is not linear. That’s what your doctor tells you, what you were told before you left the ICU, before you were discharged all together. There’ll be ups and downs, moments where you feel you’ve backslid to the point of having to start all over.

You get it, really. It’s a mantra. Recovery is not linear.

What they don't warn you is that it’s different when you’re actually feeling it, waking up weaker than ever and coughing, burning in your chest. It’s jarring, every cell in your body crying for oxygen and yet you aren’t low enough that you need to go back to the ER, just sit up in bed and stare out the window to the fortress of green that surrounds your house.

Recovery is not linear. You watch comfort shows - animated Halloween specials, a couple months too early. They fit the cooling temperatures, the slow yellowing of the trees.

Food is hard when you can’t stand for long periods of time, so you order in. Soup, and an extra chicken crunch treat for Diva on her dinner.

It’s only when you turn Charlie Brown off that you hear it.

Tap tap tap. Deliberate, timed taps, like a mini hammer on a mini nail. Quiet enough that your ears strain, and yet you can just barely catch the sound. It’s coming from the side of your house, opposite to your bedroom and closest to the living room you were just in.

Tap tap tap. Maybe it’s the vibe you put yourself in, but you shiver with apprehension. Could be an animal, you do live fairly far out, and by the woods. Your driveway is long, separated from the highway just outside of town.

Diva is usually a false alarm - she raises her hackles at the stove, she’s not trustworthy when it comes to alerting you. And yet you look, and find her standing straight up and staring at the wall the sound is coming from, lips peeling back.

Only there's nothing you can do. You aren’t gonna go check, not with your weak limbs and thin breath. Theres a landline in the kitchen with a long cord, and your cellphone. The best you can do is lock the windows and doors, which you do, shuffling so as to make the least amount of noise possible.

Next the lights and curtains, drawn and shut. You tuck a knife under your mattress, more for reassurance than anything, and close your bedroom door behind Diva.

The only reason you’re able to sleep is the bedroom door locks. The handle has one, and there’s a chain above that. You tuck into bed under the covers like a child hiding from their closet, straining to hear the tap tap tap. Sometime between you locking all the entries and exits, it stopped, but you’re still unmoored.

Your lungs fare better the next morning, eased by rest. You’re back in the woods by late morning, driving up to the trailhead through the canopy of trees. It really is beautiful, part of the reason you moved here, other than peace and quiet.

There's another car as you pull up, a reliable model in a dark colour, a surprise since you’re usually the first one there. 

You park away from it in an effort to not be creepy, but still sneak a peak while Diva does her post-car ride shakeout and pee.

It’s the man from before, sitting in the front seat, talking on a phone. He looks serious, frowning, talking in a measured way but you can still hear the volume as you pass by.

He waves, and you wave back, giving him a little smile.

Diva leads the way, prancing into the woods without fear even as the leaves start blocking out the sun. She inspires you - a little dog, brave, braver than you were last night.

God, it was probably a rabbit or a possum stuck somewhere. Maybe a mouse, and though you hope it isn’t it is the season for them. Cooler temperatures means creatures trying to enter your house. Means you have yet to drive down to town and pick up insulation supplies for your windows before fall really hits and you’re freezing.

Making a mental note of that, you lean heavily on your walking stick and pause. It’s one of those days, needing more aid than usual after yesterday and more breaks.

Crunch.

“Sorry, honey,” the army man holds his arms up, seeming sheepish as you flip around to face him. “Didn’t mean to scare ya.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay,” your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “Just jumpy today.”

“That’s alright,” his eyes crinkle at the corners, softening at the edges. He’s approachable today, not speed walking through the woods like there's a pot of gold at the end. “Mind if I join you?”

Unexpected, but with your eyes at pec-height it’s an easy yes. You deserve a handsome escort for the second half of the trail, and your emergency alarm is tucked in your front sweater pocket if you need it.

“Sure,” you nod. “I’m pretty slow, though, just to warn you. Recovering.”

“That’s fine, I should be taking it easier anyway. Make my physio happy for once,” he gestures to his knee with a chuckle. “John.”

You tell him your name. John. It suits him, the masculinity of it, the simpleness too. He gives the impression that he’s careful about how he presents himself, that outside of this sudden friendliness he’s very closed off - the way he was when you’d come across him before. Now he calls you honey, and touches his fingertips to your back as you navigate a patch of rough terrain warped by roots.

“I’m off until my knee is battle-ready, again,” he says it like it’s a joke, but there’s a steel edge beneath his words. You ask about his job: contract work, he says, not self-employed but with pockets of free time.

“Did you move here recently?” The wind shivers the trees, chillier than last week, as you meander.

“Ah, didn’t move here,” he scratches his thumb with his nose. “Staying with a friend. Needed the fresh air.”

“I get it,” your shoulder brushes his arm. “That’s why I moved here too.”

“Helps your asthma?”

You pause for a moment, confused. And then.

“Oh!” You’re a little embarrassed. “I don’t have asthma, actually. I mean I could have it, or develop it. But really I had pneumonia for a while, really wiped me out.”

“Ah, I see,” his voice says surprised, but his face stays the same. You wonder if he notices. “Terrible, that. My mum had a bad bout of it a couple years back, gave us a scare.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” you aren’t sure how old John is, but you can assume it was dangerous for his mother to have caught such a bad infection. “How’s she doing now?”

“Much better. Healthy as a goat.”

“A goat?” You’re laughing, then. A giggle that has him smiling back at you. “Haven’t heard that one before.”

John hums when he doesn’t reply verbally, and nods like you’re giving a university lecture. The attentiveness is nice, but it makes you self conscious, unused to having so much attention so focused on you. And he is so focused, like you’re discussing nuclear launch codes or what a quark is or something important. Honestly, it makes you hide your face in an embarrassingly shy way, avoiding eye contact.

He walks with you slowly, patiently down the path, arms crossed behind his back. Every once in a while either or the two of you laugh, which seems to bother Diva, whose been looking back at John suspiciously or trying to get between you the whole time.

“So sorry about that,” you really don’t know what’s gotten into her. Sure, she’s a pro at finding innocuous things suspicious, but you’ve been walking for a while now and she usually warms up when she realizes you’re okay with the offensive person or item.

“Don’t worry about it, honey,” honey again. He sure knows how to make a lady flustered. “She’s just looking out for her mama, right?”

If your pussy reacts to that, it’s no one’s business but your own.

The air chills, day by day. John has begun joining you on your walks every other day, and sometimes you catch him jogging to the trailhead from the road instead of driving it. It makes you wonder where he’s, whether it’s close or he’s really pushing his knee, and whether or not he’s flirting with you when he shows up all sweaty in a tight shirt.

Another anomaly is that the tapping has returned, nearly every night. You’re scared every time, won’t even let Diva out for a final pee and have stuck to walking up at the buttcrack of dawn to make sure she’s taken care of.

Tedious, is what it is. Ridiculous. And yet when those little taps come, in different places around the house now, different walls, you hide under the covers with Diva growling her little growl at the bedroom door and try to sleep.

When cabin fever starts to set in, anxiety and insane thoughts like, what if someone is trying to break into my house? You decide it’s past time for a visit to town.

The trip serves many purposes, anyways. Diva needs treats, kibble, and a new ball. You need groceries, tampons, new socks. Overall worth it outside of the fresh air and human interaction with more than just one person.

“Hey! Hey you!”

You’re in the bakery, weighing with your hands two loaves of artisanal bread. Just the one will do, since your freezer is small, but you want both. Pumpernickel or dark rye? Which will go better with the honey ham sandwich slices?

“Hello? Earth to-”

Your deliberation is interrupted by a waving in your face. You realize Jo, your only real friend in town, has run across the street to catch your attention.

“Oh gosh, my bad,” you look down at your shoes, then reach for a hug. She squeezes you.

“That’s okay, babe, off in your own world?” She’s dazzling, too cute for such a small town. Her ringlets bounce on her shoulders and her mouth, which is always smiling, is stretched wide with mirth. Makes you feel warm inside that she cares for you.

“Trying to make a hard decision. You know, end world hunger or stop all wars.” Stupid, but she laughs. You love making her laugh, and if you were lesbian you’d have made a move on her. Maybe you were, just a little.

“Why not both?” Her hands find your shoulders and squeeze. It’s then that you notice someone behind her, a much taller someone. At first the muscled chest and thick neck make you think it’s John, and a small squeeze of jealousy grips your stomach.

Then you see the mohawk, the difference in height. This man is looking at you with a similar intensity, though, all piercing blue eyes, thick furrowed brows, pin-straight posture.

“You’re right,” your laugh is more awkward, then, motioning with your eyes to the man.

“Oh, I’m so rude,” she turns to him. “This is Johnny, we met a few weeks ago.”

A wink. Ah, they met a few weeks ago. You picture them in the only bar in town, low lighting and Jo looking like Botticelli’s Venus, plump cheeks and red lips. And yeah, Johnny’s pretty good looking. You’d laugh about the mixup and the names if it wasn’t rude.

“Nice tae meet ya,” his accent is thick, palm warm and rough against yours. “Shall we, lass?”

He’s talking to Jo. They exchange glances, him looking at you once so fast you almost miss it. There’s something uncomfortably familiar about the look he gives you, but you shake it off. Nerves, you think. From the taps.

“Right,” Jo looks a little sheepish, then. “We’re off to the movies, but nice to see you!”

You raise a brow. You can’t help it, it’s 10am. Jo laughs and they leave.

You bake, sometimes. It’s a good hobby for someone on a leave of absence with nothing much else to do but read, walk and play with her dog.

The oven sometimes scares Diva, and she curls up in your room indignantly until you’re done using it. You’ve always wondered why, since she came to you as a puppy and hasn’t got a single reason to be upset with the appliance. 

Oh well.

You decide to bring brown butter chocolate chip cookies on your hike, hoping to see John and give him one. Your interactions haven’t progressed past leisurely chatting and walking together, but he’s a handsome man and you're still a little stir-crazy. At least with work, it wasn’t just hours on hours of uninterrupted alone time.

Funny how that works, isn’t it? You spend every day at work wishing not to be at work, and once you have the opportunity you have no idea what to do with yourself.

John loves the cookies. He takes two right out of the Tupperware, flattering you by groaning as he eats. The recipe is that good, but you think he might be putting it on a bit anyway.

It’s sweet.

“Fantastic,” he says, licking his fingers. You try not to look. “You bake often?”

“Just something to do, keeps me busy.” Diva has growled at John again, her second offense. She’s being a real heel today, rude and fussy. You elect to schedule a vet visit for a checkup soon.

“No one to keep you company in that house?” He stops when you need to stop, takes the opportunity to stretch his bad leg.

“What?” You take a puff of the inhaler, frowning a little.

“Are you lonely?” A weird question, but you chalk it up to small town weirdness.

“A little, but that one over there keeps me company,” as if she knows, she turns and yips. “What do you mean, that house?”

“You mentioned you live in your grandfather's house, no? Inherited it.” He chuckles at Diva.

“Did I? I don’t think…” you fully frown, thinking back to your conversations. Did you mention that? You haven’t even thought of it yourself for a while, not wanting to revisit painful memories. Your grandpa did pass you his house, but you’re usually more private than offering more than surface-level information to strangers.

“I believe so,” he looks deep in thought himself, squinting up at the umbrella of trees above you. That comforts you, the fact that he’s trying to recall. You’ve been so anxious lately.

“I must have forgotten, sorry. I’ve just been so scrambled lately.” John perks up at that, turning towards you as you finally continue walking.

“Scrambled?” His palm finds the back of your arm, the meat of it. He squeezes you, and it fills you with warmth. “How so?”

“Ah, well, just some animals around my house. I think,” you meet eyes, and he gets the best of you, so you elect to stare between his brows.

“Want me to take a look?” His tone is very serious. You shiver.

“I don’t think it’s necessary… I think there’s just some mice making a home for winter. I gotta call an expert,” He slides his hand down to your elbow, holding it gently. You’re nearing the end of the trail, the woods getting brighter around you. Diva marks her territory here more than anywhere else and yips at John again. 

“I could do it for free though, honey,” the air drops where you are, a gust of wind creating a symphony of sound all around you. A little romantic, you think. Ridiculous.

“Well,” far be it from you to pass up free help. “Only if you let me pay you back somehow.” 

“You have already,” he holds up the cookie Tupperware, shaking it gently. 

“Then let me make you dinner. Whatever you want!” The enthusiasm in which you say it has you cringing at yourself, but mentally you justify it; it’s completely normal to invite a friend over, especially to pay back a favour. You’re not being obvious that you’re attracted to him at all, no sir. Definitely not scared and in need of comfort, Mr John sir. 

“Sounds like a plan. I’m free after 7 o’clock.”

You elect to be cliche and make British food. Good British food, a proper roast. Something you’d had a few times with friends in pubs or that time you’d visited London as an exchange student. Hot, smothered in gravy, salty and perfect with a mug of beer British food. You really hope he likes it, that he doesn't think you’re weird or making fun of him for his accent.

John is a proper gentleman, so punctual that he knocks on your door the very second it turns to 7:30 on your oven timer.

Diva has to battle her hatred of the stove with her need to announce a guest, staying in hallway purgatory barking at both.

The smell of garlicky roast beef, rosemary and thyme, salt and boiling potatoes is rife in the air, no doubt spilling into the woods through your badly insulated windows.

The moment it hits John, you can see it. Your door opens, creaking, and his eyes fix to you so quickly it’s almost physical.

“Hey! Thanks for coming,” you open it, motioning for him to come in. “Don’t mind Diva, she’s not a fan of the oven being on.”

He toes his boots off, still staring, like you’re a prize heifer and he’s set on buying you at the farm auction. A little sexy, mostly nerve wracking. Diva peeks around the corner at him and the sound of her little nails on the hardwood breaks the tension.

“Smells like home,” he leans closer to you to put his coat up on the rack. “You really went through all this trouble?”

“It’s the least I can do for your help.” At that moment, he seems to remember.

“Right, the mice. Want to show me where you heard them, or can I not steal you away from the stove?” His voice deepens as he talks, intensifying, grating hot coals and growling like a bear. Blue, focused eyes find the half-apron you’re wearing. You swear his pupils dilate, but he shakes his head before you’re sure.

“I can show you, there’s still a few minutes left for everything.”

The air is biting outside, cold with the evening breeze and dark already. So dark you equip your biggest, brightest flashlight and walk around the house with him, explaining the taps all around.

“I figure it’s them trying to dig holes so they can get in,” you hand the flashlight to him, feeling your fingers brush, and shivering in response. “I’ve been too chicken to check, to be honest. I keep thinking it’s a person walking around, not some animal.”

John nods as you speak, squatting by your little tool shed, looking diligently and moving items as he needs to. Then, he looks up, smiling a little.

“Why don’t you head inside, darling? Let me take care of this.”

“Sure,” you squeak. Squeak. Your stomach makes a knot and you scurry like one of the mice he’s looking for back into the house to mash the potatoes and make the gravy.

You are quite proud of this meal, not a proper cook by a long shot but it looks and smells pretty good. The Yorkshire puddings are alright, too, and that was the hardest part. Plus, you think, it’s free food. He’s gotta be happy with the effort, even if he winds up not liking it, right? That’s something your mother always told you. Someone’s put in a lot of effort for this meal, she’d say, pointing at you with a long nail. Better eat it.

“Think I found the little buggers,” John startles you just a little as he comes in, toeing his boots off again. You’re plating his plate, huge portions of mash potato and roast carrot and brussel sprouts nestled to the beef. His eyes look at the plate, then to you, then down to your apron, and you pretend you can’t see him adjusting his pants.

This isn’t what you think it is, you remind yourself. Two friends, one lending a hand and the other paying them back. You don’t even know his last name.

“Oh god, how bad was it?” You ladle gravy over his portion, then yours, pretending to be unaffected when he walks into your kitchen and takes a huge sniff.

“Not too bad. I’ll have to come back with some traps, if that’s alright.” You want to say John, you can come back anytime, but you don’t.

“Glad to know it was mice at least,” that’s the truth. A feeling you didn’t totally realize you had turns from paranoia into relief. “I was really scared it was some creep walking around my house, trying to get in.”

“Here,” John takes his plate when you hand it to him, but puts his phone into your hands before you can get yours. “Put your number in there, honey. Call me if anything like that happens.”

Honey. You fucking love that, so much it renders you temporarily mute as you punch in your number. He doesn't let you bring your own plate to the table, picks it up while you’re busy and comes back to shepherd you there with a palm on your lower back.

“Thank you,” you say, struck timid by his casual and yet firm guidance of you.

Diva makes an appearance for supper, summoned by the smell of beef and the oven being turned off. Her little claws tip tap against the hardwood as she circles your chair, tucks herself under the table looking for scraps, and whines at John while he’s trying to eat.

You nudge her away from him with a socked foot, stuttering that she isn’t usually like this, honest, only for him to brush it off kindly.

After supper, when you’re full and you can’t handle him looking at you with those half-lidded, well-fed bear eyes anymore, you move to pick up the dishes and bring them to the kitchen.

“Ah ah,” John cuts in front of you, stealing the plates and cutlery. “You cooked, I’ll clean.”

Useless to argue - he’s built like a brick shithouse. You’re forced to pack up the leftovers, one container for you and one for him to take home. For no reason other than you’re feeling especially soft and gooey, you wrap up a few homemade fig and date granola bars for him to take too.

“Thank you,” he gruffs, rolling his sleeves to his elbows, flexing his forearm muscles, making you hot again.

“It’s really the least I can-”

Snap. Fuck, the day that creepy noises don’t happen near your house is the day you convert to whatever religion that’ll make it happen. Both your heads turn to the living room window, where the sound came from, a crack in the otherwise quiet night air.

Anxiety curls in your stomach, sharp and dreadful. You try to remind yourself that you live in the woods for gods sake, there’s gonna be sounds, but that awful sense of danger is back and if you were Diva your hackles would be raised.

John frowns, wiping his hands on a towel. He doesn't seem as phased as you are, probably because he’s not worried over boogeymen haunting the forest like you are, but when he looks back at you and sees your fright he leans in and murmurs that he’ll go take a look.

“It’s okay, it’s probably one of my furry friends,” you try, but he shakes his head, putting a palm on your hip for a brief moment as reassurance and then he’s out the door.

God, you’re so nervous you whip out a bottle of wine, desperate for a little courage. The feeling is so strange, you’re used to feeling safe and cushioned by your home, by the forest. Even your little dog whimpers, tapping her way into the kitchen, rubbing her face on your leg like a cat. She’s a comfort still, something about there being a more nervous person (or animal) that inspires bravery. Still, you won't peek out the window.

The wine is good. A little too dry, but still good. A housewarming gift from your mother, even though she knew you didn’t drink unless it was social.

Or unless you were nervously waiting for some man to come back, having dealt with your problems for you. She’d weep to see you, aproned and wringing your hands and sipping red wine too quickly. Whatever, you think. There’s nothing wrong with letting him help.

John comes back in, maybe a few minutes later or maybe a half hour, you can’t tell. Your wine is half empty, and you feel awkward about it so you pour him one without asking.

“Think you’ve got more than one furry friend,” John says, laughter in his voice. In his fingers he’s got tufts of light brown hair, which he holds up. “Dinner, if you hunt.”

“Ah, I don’t,” and you wouldn’t. You’re fine eating meat or even purchasing it from a local hunter to eat, but there’s something in you that’s deeply uncomfortable with the idea. Maybe it’s cowardice, unable to do the dirty work and yet enjoying the fruits of someone else’s labour. Maybe you’re putting stock in something that really isn’t worth stressing over. Either way, you’re overthinking, and only stop when John steps into your space.

“Hey- you alright, darling?” You like darling too, just as much as honey.

“Yeah, sorry,” your hands find the wine glass you poured for him, and you hand it over. One thing about abstaining is that it hits you quickly, even with the big meal. “Want to sit? I’ve got a fireplace.”

You cringe at yourself, not meaning to sound so suggestive. Oh well, he doesn’t seem to mind, just nods and takes you by the elbow again to your living room.

“This all the heading you’ve got?” John asks.

“Er, no. I have to get my windows insulated for winter, then I can turn the heating on without it all going to waste. For now, I make do with the fireplace,” when you sit, Diva runs to you both and demands to be swaddled in her blanket. It’s an old knitted one, a college project finished between essay assignments and readings. There’s sentimental value there, especially with your pup who doesn’t even let the presence of a strange man come between her and her cozying up.

“I can help with that,” John says. Briefly, Westley pops into your head shouting As you wish! and it makes you smile.

“That’s okay,” you sip, tasting spice. Would’ve been good with dinner. “I owe you double now for helping me again.”

“Not at all, sweetheart.” Oh, he’s full of names - and getting bolder. 

The conversation ebbs and flows naturally. Sometimes you both sit in silence, sipping, refilling glasses, staring at the fire. He’s easy to talk to, soothing, his confidence and sureness leaving you relaxed.

“I better get going,” he grunts as he stands, extending a palm to you.

“Are you okay to drive?” You’re half worried, half disappointed. There’s been a steadily building sense of heat between your legs the entire evening, brought on by his touches and his pet names and his taking care of you

“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. I live close-by.” That’s one mystery solved.

“Well, okay. But will you call when you get home?” If you weren’t three glasses in, you might be embarrassed. John crinkles his eyes at you while he puts his boots on.

“John?” You’re in your pajamas, face hastily cleaned with a makeup wipe. Your door is double locked again, anxiety beaten down by the wine.

“I’m home,” he sounds distant. You can’t really hear anything, just his breathing, the sounds of him taking off his coat and his boots. “You tucked in bed, sweetheart?”

“I am,” you breathe, eyes slipping, drunker than you thought you were. “Did you drive okay?”

“I did,” he laughs. His keys jingle and make a clamor as he tosses them. You imagine him in a house that fits him, a log cabin or a house built by hand, before remembering he’s talking with someone. Disappointment dampens you a little.

“I guess I should let you get to bed then,” you try to keep it out of your voice, but you’re curled on your side with a hand pressed against your clothed pussy and it’s hard not to be sad at the fact that you have no idea if he’s actually been flirting with you, or just being friendly.

“You sound disappointed,” either he’s perceptive, or you’re more obvious than you’re trying to be. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you without saying goodnight.”

A pulse, between your legs. You rub with all four fingers, moving the phone away from your mouth.

“That’s okay, I don’t want to keep you,” you scrunch your eyes shut, trying to stop, not being able to. You’re starved, really, haven’t been touched or talked to like you’re desirable in quite some time and he makes you feel safe. Taken care of.

“You touching that wet little cunt, sweetheart?” A shockwave, from your nipples tightening to your toes tingling, curling. You stop hiding, breathing whines into the phone.

“I’m so sorry,” you mumble, biting your lips. It feels like permission, and maybe it is or maybe it isn’t, but you stuff your hand into your pants and start focusing on your needy clit. “I’m so-”

“Shh, sh, sh,” you hear a mattress creak, a grunt, and imagine him laying back. Maybe palming his cock. “That’s okay, baby, I could tell how needy you were.”

Panting, you stuff two fingers in your soft hole, grinding your palm into your clit. You hear him making sounds, quieter than you, but you’re straining to hear them.

He starts talking you through it, murmuring into your ear, calling you sweetheart and honey and baby, telling you to put three fingers in and to play with your tits.

“Go ahead and touch your nipples, sweetheart, go on,” his breath is growing laboured. “Needed to come so she could sleep, did she?”

For a moment, you think he’s talking about you.

“Poor little pussy needed some attention,” his voice gets rougher again, like when he walked in and saw that you had made him a roast. “Give it to her then, baby, go on, let her come.”

That’s all you need. You squeeze your nipples one last time, letting your tits out of your shirt and turning over to hump your hand unashamedly. Your clit drags against your palm still, hips desperately moving, listening to him grunting and groaning on the other side of the call, waiting to hear him come before you let go.

You shake, shiver, curl into yourself as your core tightens and explodes like an elastic band snapping. It’s great, just what you needed, and you’re half asleep by the end of it

“John..” you mumble into your pillow, just enough consciousness left to pull your hand out of your pajama pants.

“It’s alright, it’s time to sleep now, alright? Close your eyes.”

“Alright, John.”

“Good girl,” his voice is distant, sleep taking you, muscles more relaxed than they’ve been in so long.

You’ll deal with the rest in the morning.

[judasgot-it]

Soulmate AU

"I can't believe you said that. You know that's going to be on my chest for the rest of my life now, right?"

Scenario: You and your soulmate meet. It's hard convincing yourselves that it's a good thing.

I'm timeskipping a bit, think of this as a sort of slowburn lol.

8,700 k words (jesus crhist)

Every person had spots on their body that marked the things that showed what their soulmate did that day.

Typically, they appeared at the age of five. Usually, they would be words and sentences, or pictures, sometimes depicting ideas. It was representative of what their soulmate was like - sometimes they were in different languages, or had patterns that only their soulmate could discern.

There was always one mark that would appear, and stay on the body for what was usually for the rest of someone's life. Sometimes small, sometimes big.

Some people were born with theirs. Others had theirs appear at the end of their life. They were rather random, it seemed.

Yours was strange. It wasn't a picture, and it wasn't a poem. It wasn't a sentence, and it wasn't anything compared to your family or classmates. When you were twelve, you had gained a large pattern on your back - something that if you reached around, you could feel mostly with your fingers.

If you squinted, you could maybe see it, but it seemed invisible.

Your mother had told you that it was almost like a scar, but it wasn't ugly. There was a pattern, but no one seemed to really know what it meant.

It was hard to really know what it was from looking at it in the mirror. To you, it looked like just a splattering of lighter and darker skin, now slightly raised in some areas. It was only visible in the light, and looked like you had splashed bleach on your skin.

All you knew was that it hadn't gone away in weeks. The doctor had said that it was most likely one of those marks that lived forever, and was possibly a sign that your soulmate was blind. Either that or some sort of fucked up artist.

It had left you angry for months. You didn't know why, but it upset you - maybe because you had expected a poem that would tell you how much you were adored, like your friend had. Or cute portrait, of some beautiful vacation spot.

You still wanted to dream. But instead, you got something had you scratching your back like a madman, trying to understand something that you couldn't. It left you impatient, trying to understand a puzzle that apparently, only a blind man or an asshole could solve.

Maybe both.

When you met your soulmate, you were going to slap the shit out of him.

-

At sixteen, you had debated on whether or not your soulmate was worth 'waiting for' or 'finding'. There was a big debate going on for decades anyway - was it worth falling in love with your soulmate?

Part of you wanted to try falling in love with someone else. Maybe it was because you had seen soulmates who hated each other - they had words permanently etched onto their bodies that said:

"I hate you" and "I hope that you die"

Seemed like proof enough that it was fake.

Your own soulmate seemed less like a real concept, and more like a cloud in the sky. There were never pictures of his day, or that many words to hear about. It was only feelings - there were cuts that had showed up along your skin, long lines that were in concerning places.

Once you had one show up along your chest, underneath your breast. You weren't sure if it would work, but you had written "Stay alive" and hoped it would show up along his skin. You wrote it in Sharpie and kept it there for days, just in case he needed the reminder.

He never seemed to have any words back. The only words you ever read on your skin were concerning. Once, words had shown up along your arm, written in a messy cursive, almost impossible to read:

"Go ahead and kill yourself. I don't need you anyway."

That started to convince you that your soulmate might have deserved the knife in the chest.

Despite this, you could never bring yourself to go past a second date. None of the guys who asked you out seemed to really 'click' in the way you really thought you would.

One of them was so bad, you had taken the Sharpie out and had added "I love you" close to where you remember adding the line.

If your soulmate really was blind, it was most likely a stupid thing to write - if it even showed up. But it made you feel better in the moment, so what was the harm?

-

When you were in your 20s, you had graduated university.

You didn't know what your soulmate was doing, but you had started to care less than you did when you were younger.

Before, it tore at you - there were a lot of dreams and ideas you had of what he was like, and what it would be like when you finally met the one person made for you.

Over time, you learned to accept that there was a chance you might not ever meet him. You knew people like that - those whose soulmates died, and those who never had them. Those who had met them late in life, and were still living good lives.

You had become content. In a way, your life had become better, knowing that you didn't need someone else there in order to live your own life.

There were friends you had. And you had an apartment. And now, you had a new job, one that was respectable and you had worked hard for. Life was looking up.

Part of you was convinced that your soulmate was either dead or still living a life that would lead to it. The marks that showed up were the same as when you were sixteen - they were lesser than before, but they were still scary when they did show up.

There were more words now as well. Something changed, as they were more positive.

"Stay behind me, I'll protect you."

That was one that had shown up today. Along your inner thigh, making you glad you wore shorts today.

Maybe he wasn't in a gang but was just a cop with a bad attitude. Unfortunately, your soulmate had never said his name, and you had no clues as to how to find him.

-

This job was great. But god, the military really couldn't keep a damn thing organized.

You might be the only person who knew where anything was at this point. Which left you carrying several boxes of confidential files to the office of Ouchi Fukuchi directly, because no one else knew where to find the paperwork that was needed.

He was also three months behind on all of it. Which was fine, it was only a matter of national security, after all. It wasn't an important thing, really. Who cared?

You weren't stressed about it at all.

"Do you need help?" A voice filtered through the elevator, and you almost cried with relief. The boxes were heavy, and based on the man's voice, he sounded like someone who actually could handle carrying them.

Unlike you at the moment, who was using every last bit of strength you had in order to keep them from spilling all over the carpet at the moment.

You worked at a desk. This was more lifting in a day than you did a year. Yes, of course you could use some help. Obviously.

"Yes. Can you push the number for Mr. Fukuchi's office? And also grab one of these boxes? If you aren't busy."

You were praying that he wasn't busy. Those few seconds as you waited felt like hell, but eventually you felt the man's hands touch your own, taking the boxes from your arms and relieving the agonizing weight from your spine.

Sighing, you leaned against the elevator door, feeling how it slowly lifted up to the highest story. Slowly, because despite appearances, the Hunting Dogs headquarters had disgustingly slow elevators despite the million-dollar planes they had parked in the vicinity.

The stairs might have been faster, honestly.

You could also have avoided the man's staring - the brunette was tall, and he glanced at your exposed skin as if you were naked. You turned to the doors, avoiding his gaze.

"Do you, know your soulmate?"

The man was blunt, his honey eyes staring directly at your wrist. He was holding the boxes as if they weighed nothing, and watching him made your back hurt more. What did they feed those military guys?

"No, I don't. Sorry, I know it's nasty. I feel bad for whoever Tecchou is, he doesn't seem to get along with him."

You tried to laugh it off, looking down at your wrist. Right there, you could see what your soulmate had said today, in the same messy cursive he always spoke in:

"Go to hell Tecchou, your food is always shit and I hope you die."

It had only shown up right when you had to go and deliver the files. Because of course it did - your soulmate really had to embarrass you like that in front of everyone.

You remembered when you were twelve you said you would smack the shit out of him. Maybe you would still do that, because right now it felt embarrassing to be stared at like that.

It wasn't your fault your soulmate had such a foul mouth.

Now you were going to meet the leader of the Hunting Dogs, and he was going to see what an embarrassment of a soulmate you had.

Thank god it wasn't on your forehead, at least.

The doors of the elevator opened, and you tried to keep your body straight and rigid, waiting for a greeting from Fukuchi himself. You watched the brunette walk in with the files, straight to the front of the desk as if it were habit.

You followed behind him, hoping you made a good impression.

"Ouchi Fukuchi! I am-"

Before you could finish your greeting, the man held a hand towards you.

"Tecchou, didn't I tell you to take a walk?" The older man was stern, and you stayed silent in hopes that he didn't turn his cold gaze towards you.

"...She looked like she was struggling." His voice was deep and monotone, and he looked almost bored from behind the stack of files he was hiding behind.

"So you decided to be an errand boy?"

"Yes."

There was a silence. You couldn't tell what was going on between the two men, but you were terrified. The look Fukuchi gave was terrifying, worse than was portrayed in the films you had seen before - he was scarier in person. His gaze was intense, as if he was trying to kill the man with his eyes.

"Sir, if I may add. They are very heavy, and I appreciated the help a lot."

You didn't know what came over you. Both men looked at you, and it had you putting your arms and head down, praying that the floor would eat you.

Fuck. You just needed to deliver the files and just go back to your office. You didn't even work for the Hunting Dogs, you worked for a completely different part of the government. This wasn't your business to get into.

"Sorry. Um...Those files, there is a file on top about their contents. They are to be completed and sent out ASAP. Requested by the prime minister. Apologies."

Your voice was firm, despite the sweat that was collecting on your palms. Without looking at anyone or anything, you nodded at the men and walked out, pressing the button for the ground floor several times.

This was terrifying.

-

The Hunting Dogs were hunting you. Ironic, but you now had one of them showing up at your office, wanting to 'talk' - what was there to even talk about?

You had only been there for maybe ten minutes at most, like, a week ago. If something happened in that facility, you had no part in it.

If you could, you would hide underneath your desk forever. But that most likely made them think you were guilty of whatever crime they suspected you of, and you did not want to seem like a criminal to them.

Their investigation tactics were more than infamous. You did not want to become another horror story.

Steeling yourself, you walked out, bracing for the inevitable interrogation that was about to follow. The man that was waiting for you was standing with a little girl - you vaguely remembered her as the vice-captain, although the man you couldn't really place his name.

His two-toned hair seemed familiar though. You might have seen it on a photograph before, when you were told about the group in a discussion about how lazy they were with paperwork. His closed eyes seemed strange, but tried to avoid them.

The man smiled at you, and it seemed more calculating than warm and friendly. The girl, someone you remembered to be known for her combat skills, didn't seem to be interested. She only blinked at you, bored at your office outfit.

You had to convince him that you were innocent. Of whatever it was that they had thought you were guilty of.

"So. Trying to get all pretty for me?"

The man was grinning, and you didn't know what to say. He had taken a step closer, and out tried to stay as still as possible, slowing your breathing.

If it was fight or flight, you chose freeze.

Keeping your face calm was hard, but you paused your breaths, trying your best to keep your body as cool as possible as the two didn't state why it was urgent that they speak to you. In the middle of your work day.

"Um. Is there a reason why you guys asked to see me?"

You were staring at the daisy-haired man's forehead, praying that he didn't notice that you were trying your hardest to not make eye contact with him.

"Did you deliver files to Fukuchi?"

The girl was bored, rocking her feet back and forth, slapping the man next to her with her ponytail.

"Um. Yes. I did."

"And did you meet a man named Tecchou Suehiro while you were there?"

"The brunette?"

"Yes. And tall, with three stupid tattoos under his eyes. Did you meet him?"

"I believe so, yes. He helped me carry the files to Mr. Fukuchi's office."

"What did your arm say that day?"

That was an odd question. That wouldn't have something to do with any sort of crime, would it? Or were you not thinking straight?

"Oh. Something about killing a man named Tecchou."

It felt like a pause button had been pressed at that moment.

Tecchou was an uncommon name. And Fukuchi had certainly called that man in the elevator by that name as well. How could you have missed that detail?

"...Why are you asking me about that?"

Tecchou had asked about the mark too, now that you had thought of it.

"Did my soulmate kill him?"

Either that, or Tecchou had killed him, and this was how you were going to find out that your soulmate was dead. He was dead and gone before you had ever gotten to meet him. Just one of those tragic cases of a love that never got to happen.

You steeled yourself for the news, taking in a deep breath.

"Jouno your soulmate is stupid."

The girl walked away, huffing and shaking her head. The man in front of you, Jouno, clapped your shoulder, breathing out a sigh.

"Tecchou is still alive. Unfortunatly."

The man's eyes hadn't opened to look at you, staying closed as he struggled to find the words. He was in your space, and you could taste how he struggled to find the words to say what he wanted to say.

Somehow, he was still smiling through the awkwardness, but you had started to realize-

He was blind. And your soulmate.

Your soulmate was always blind.

The strange spot on your back made more sense now. It wasn't some stupid art piece, but most certainly something he felt because he was blind.

"-I don't think I need to say anything. You know."

The man gave up on forming sentences, instead choosing to rub your shoulder and smile.

"Um. Yeah."

You spent nearly twenty years waiting to meet this man, and this is all you had to say? Wasn't there something more?

"Um. Shouldn't we do something?" His hand was still on you, and you didn't know if you should tell him to let go or not. This was the first time you had ever met, and frankly - you actually liked it a little bit. He was warm, and he didn't give you a weird feeling compared to some other people.

"Do what?"

"I don't know. We're soulmates. Shouldn't we like, have a moment?"

In the movies you had seen, there were soulmates who would meet and have a 'magical contact' moment. You couldn't look into his eyes and swoon, but surely he was having a magic moment right now? Wasn't he going to ask you on a date and try to live with you forever or something?

This should have been the start of...something.

"No. This is good enough. Honestly, I'd rather not see you again."

Or not.

His face didn't portray anything - he was still smiling, as if he was working at a front desk and not meeting his soulmate for the first time. You felt like you were looking into it, but surely he also wanted something more?

That smile couldn't be real.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. It's nothing with you, but it's probably best if we don't try to make this a thing."

He let go finally, and that shoulder felt cold as he stepped away. You didn't know what to say, watching as he slowly removed himself from the little bubble the two of you had.

There was magic, and there was no magic. It was a mirage, more like it.

"So. You just, wanted to meet me, I guess?"

"Just know that you're alive. And you are. Good for us."

Us. But there is no us, because there is no thing, apparently. Just a him, and now you had to suppose a you. A lonely, singular you.

"Sorry. Um. Yeah, okay. Then let's not talk. That's fine."

It wasn't. Or maybe it was. You didn't know what to think, because your soulmate, who you now knew was the Hunting Dog Jouno, had come and gone in what felt like a matter of seconds.

But you supposed that was the end of it. You met your soulmate, and you would never see him again.

So why were you about to cry?

-

Ever since that meeting, the universe had been playing tricks on you. Or whoever had deemed soulmates to be a thing.

Before, whatever Jouno had put onto your body was so abstract that you could barely understand it. Now it felt like he was playing tricks on you.

"If I die, I don't care."

It felt like he was playing a game. You had only met him once, but if he died, you would care.

You would care so much.

The petty part of you had taken to those high school days, grabbing your sharpie and writing little responses underneath those types of sentences.

"I care." and "I love you, stay safe." was something you had started to write over and over again on your body.

It likely didn't matter. He was blind. But if it ever showed up on his skin, you hoped someone on his team would see it.

Part of you wanted to write it on your forehead and neck, just to shame him. Maybe he didn't care, but you cared - he would have everyone know just how much his soulmate cares about him.

But you didn't want to wash that off. You also were sure that your concealer wasn't going to cover that up.

It would just make the both of you look stupid.

-

Your day was just going great.

Great. As in, you were stuck next to a shitty criminal, who was pulling at your nice dress and tearing the buttons along the back.

This was expensive.

God. What a dickhead.

And who was going to save you from this guy? He had some weird fucked up ability, and it was freaking you out.

You didn't really deal with that stuff.

This was a time when you chose to freeze again. You wanted to choose something else - to fight back and be brave, or to run, do something.

But you felt frozen. It was honestly hard to breathe, but that might have been from how your dress was pulling against your neck, restricting your airflow.

"Oh shit, it's the Hunting Dogs."

The guy next to you groaned, and you tried your hardest to disappear as you felt him tug and pull you around.

The gunshots were loud, and you were stuck choosing between covering your ears and pulling against your dress as the man tried to choke you with it.

You chose your ears, in the end. However many gunshots he fired, you didn't count, instead trying your best to become a ball. One that would be unmovable, immune to the hellfire that was happening.

Maybe if you became deadweight, he would drop you and run away. He had no reason for you, right?

You didn't know why he chose to use you as a distraction anyway. This was your day off, couldn't he have chosen any other person?

"Goddammit, I said get up!"

The man pulled at your hair, and you screamed. As much as you fought back, clawing at his arms, he started to drag you away from his little spot in the building, to the open area where you could see a whole crowd had gathered.

It was hard to see if any of the Hunting Dogs were actually there, as you could only focus on the pain you were in.

Weren't they going to do their jobs? What the fuck was taking so long.

This felt like it was taking forever. This guy was tugging you around, and talking about something that you couldn't even bring yourself to care about. It was something that a man who would try to blow up a building would say - they're spying on us, they're killing us, they made it all up. Whoever they are, and whoever the us is. It didn't matter, because now your day was ruined.

Maybe you were pathetic, still trying to fight back. The guy seemed ridiculously strong.

"Run."

The word was whispered to you, in a soft voice and with a gentle hand on your back. It might have only been a second - but the moment the grip loosened on your hair, you took the moment to run.

God knows where. But you ran. It might have been the fastest you had ever been in your life, if you were being honest with yourself.

You were just glad the nightmare was over.

-

Ever since that...event. You haven't had a good dream since.

It was hard too. You would wake up to the violent hair pulling, the smells, and there would be that voice at the end each time.

You would be crying, and each time the voice would say something different. In real life, all he had said was "Run" but in your dreams, he said rather sweet things.

They were things that frankly, you had wanted to hear. He had a gentle voice for a man, and it was hard to believe that it was the same voice as your soulmate.

You kept pretending that it wasn't him. As time went on, you were more hurt by the words he said, you started to pretend that the voice you heard was just a different man you had conjured up.

Something you made while you were delirious with fear. And now he was haunting your dreams, because you were a lonely and loveless woman, who couldn't stop crying in her kitchen because she was scared of something that had already happened.

It was stupid. You knew it was stupid, and you just wanted to be over it. But for some reason, you were left sitting at the table again, forcing yourself to drink a glass of water and play through another round of solitaire.

The knocking on the door scared the shit out of you.

...

Another knock.

Fuck.

Gettting up, you stalked slowly to the door, hoping that the intruder to your miserable peace wouldn't hear your approach the door. You wanted to pretend you weren't there, even if it was obvious you were home.

Another knock.

Loud ones. Impatient ones.

"I know you're in there. Listen, I just need to talk to you real quick."

Peeping through the peephole, you saw him - Jouno, who was clad in a dandelion bedhead and grey sweatpants. His hoodie was a strange faded color, and you were sure it was old enough to be his father's.

Taking a moment, you breathed as you watched him. It was hard to believe he was standing there, actually at the front of your door.

At like what, two in the morning?

You opened the door a little bit, feeling the cold night air breeze by. It made you pull yourself closer together, as the shirt you wore barely covered you enough to protect you from the cold.

Thank god Jouno was blind at least. He would see a lot more than he bargained for, you imagined.

"...What do you want?" You wished you could have your voice sound firm, like an interrogator. But you could still hear the tears in your voice, and it made you want to hide in your bed like a mole dug into the dirt.

You sounded so lame.

"Listen. Let me in, real quick."

He was smiling, the same one that you saw when you first met him. Like a fucking customer service representative, trying to sell you something. At two in the morning.

"I'm not a booty call."

"No, what? Just let me inside-" You started to close the door, not caring for the force you used. He could handle it.

"Bring me flowers if you want to ask me for anything next time."

Jouno fought back easily, but was polite enough to stay between the door and the entryway. He only kept half of his body there to maintain conversation, allowing you the ability to slam the door on him if you so wished.

It was tempting, at that moment.

"I need you to listen. This isn't sex or anything."

"Can't you say it in the morning? Some people sleep."

That was a lie, but you weren't in the right mind to speak to him at that moment. He made you emotional - maybe his whole existence was making you feel too much, but that was likely heightened by the fact that you hadn't slept well for the last few nights.

"That's exactly it! You aren't sleeping. Now I can't sleep. So let me in, because I want to go to sleep-"

He pushed through your hold of the door. He had both let himself in, and you had let him.

"You're so selfish."

For some stupid reason, you had let him into your home and had already started to cry again. It had taken so long to calm down, and now you were starting the process all over again.

God, you were really starting to hate your soulmate for doing this to you.

"What? What's selfish about that?"

"You came here just so you could sleep. Why don't you figure out a way to go to sleep on your own!"

The words were spilling out of your mouth, and frankly whatever you said was not even registering in your brain.

All you knew was that you were feeling a lot at the moment. You hadn't felt like this since you were twelve and had the big mark show up on your back, making you mad for weeks.

Maybe you were still mad. And you were remembering it all just now.

Or maybe you were just really tired.

"I did try! I took enough melatonin to kill a man, but you won't let me sleep with your stupid nightmares!"

The man in front of you looked stressed, and you wanted to feel bad. But at the moment, your mind could only think of the worst words to say to him, to twist anything to try and hurt him.

You took a breath. A deep one, feeling how you were choking your brain from oxygen.

Why were you screaming at each other at two in the morning?

"Listen. I know PTSD is stressful, but you can find a way to cope with it, can't you?"

Jouno put his hands on your shoulders. He stepped into your space, and he was so close you could smell the coffee on his breath.

Maybe it wasn't you, but the caffeine he was drinking so goddamn late into the night.

"I don't have PTSD. I've never been to war."

"Then what is this then." He shook you, as if you were the stupid one here, despite walking over to someone's home in the middle of the night.

"Just something I need to get over."

That's something you had always been told. And you were sure it was something that would go away. Eventually.

"See. This is the problem. You don't even know how to deal with the problem you have. And now, I can't sleep."

The man didn't give you a chance to argue back. Before you could say anything, he hauled you onto his shoulder, his hand traveling along your back.

Desperately, you grabbed at his sweatshirt, pulling at the fabric and praying you wouldn't fall onto your face.

"Where's your bedroom? You're sleeping whether you want to or not."

Without caring to listen, he attempted to navigate your home anyway. It was a little entertaining, feeling how he turned his body in circles as he tried to figure out where to go.

"That's the wrong way. It's the other way. On the left."

You pitied him. If only a little bit.

-

"Is sleeping really that hard for you?"

Your bed wasn't small, but Jouno made it feel small with just his presence alone. His body was warmer than yours, and you could feel the heat radiating off of him as you laid side by side, with a few fingers space between each other.

Now that you had though about it, you never had really made space for another person in your bed before. There really was only enough space for you.

"I have a strange man in my bed, can you blame me?"

"I'm your soulmate, I'm not just anyone."

Now he wanted to be something. When he wanted it to benefit him.

Maybe you were deeply bitter about the way he rejected ever wanting to be anything at all.

"You really are selfish, you know? You said you didn't want this to be a thing, but now you're going on about being my soulmate."

Because that meant something. It meant having an actual bond, a sort of relationship. This wasn't anything - at most, you had vague conversations, and now he was just a man in your bed who was upset at you for a stupid reason.

And you were mad at him. And you hoped he knew that.

"I wouldn't do this if I couldn't sleep. We're just...people who need each other."

His voice sounded off. As off as you could tell, as if he was lying, even to himself.

Why did he say these things if even he didn't believe them?

"Do I really need you?" You said the words only loud enough that the pillow could hear you, hoping that he had finally managed to go to sleep, or thought that you had.

But you felt him turn around, bouncing the bed and pulling at the blanket the two of you shared.

Of course he heard it somehow. What a freak.

"Clearly! You couldn't even save yourself. You're lucky I was there."

He was closer now, his voice nearly kissing your ears. You groaned, his volume too loud for your wallowing.

"That's your job, isn't it? To save people?"

Waving him off, you didn't bother to face him - like it would matter, when he couldn't even see you. Instead, you hugged the pillow in front of you closer, feeling how the cold fabric kissing your exposed skin.

It was rather cold for the summertime.

"...I didn't want to know you more, because I didn't want you to be hurt."

His breath tickled your neck, and somewhere along the bed you could feel his fingers dance along the fabric, far too close to your shoulders.

You didn't know him too well, but his touch didn't bother you as much as you wanted to pretend it did.

"How were you going to hurt me?"

"My job. I'm going to die, eventually. It'll be a miracle if I reach 40."

His voice was gentle, without the tone of an insurance agent. He sounded honest; speaking as if he really meant what he said.

It left you breathless, and you had to remind yourself that you needed to breathe in order to live.

"That doesn't mean anything. I would still like to know you when you're here."

There was a laugh behind you, a tired one. Maybe he was only saying these things because he was also exhausted.

A lack of sleep was worse than drugs, you had once heard before.

You couldn't even open your eyes anymore at this point. It was just your mind fighting you.

"That would be nice. But I'm not the best person, I would just make your life miserable. You're right, I am really selfish."

"I know. But I think you're worth it Jouno."

-

After that night, something felt different. Your body felt different.

For one thing, you now had Jouno's phone number. He had texted you, and told you to call him in case of emergencies only.

You had learned that meant when you couldn't couldn't sleep, he really couldn't sleep. And when you couldn't eat, he couldn't eat. and it was an emergency.

Maybe because he was blind, his soulbond appeared differently. It wasn't visual at all, but instead tormented him with your own physical sensations.

It had you wondering if he had ever felt your pain. Or felt anything else you felt.

It wasn't a conversation you were willing to have just yet. You had just started to feel comfortable texting and calling him.

Having him sleep in the same bed was as far as you two had gone, and it had only happened a few times after. He had shared meals with you as well, after you lost your appetite from a bad stomach bug.

It was a strange relationship you had formed. You weren't sure if you were ever going to get closer than you were.

Maybe you were ok with knowing him like this. Like a strange acquaintance, learning weird bits and pieces about him, with unanswered questions that you were too scared to ask.

He was your soulmate. Maybe he didn't need to be anything more than that.

-

"You know, because of you, I can't really go out shirtless anymore."

Jouno was relaxed against the table, bored as he played around with the food on his plate. Recently he wasn't able to each much at all, and you had stayed over for the last while.

But it didn't seem to have much to do with you. Right now you were stuffed, and it seemed like it was all on Jouno at the moment. He had only eaten a quarter of his plate, and you had considered feeding it to him like a child so he would eat more of it.

"Why?"

"Because. You put this on my chest."

Jouno leaned up from the table and forgot his food; taking off his cotton T-shirt, revealing what you had always believed would be there.

Two lines, right by a little ugly scar - "Stay safe, I love you."

They were a little close together, not a work of art by any means. Your handwriting on someone's skin looked...funny. Almost unreal. It looked blotched out, and it reminded you too well of how stupid you were as a teenager, tracing over the Sharpie over and over again, hoping your blind soulmate would see it.

"You're mad about it?"

"It looks like a shitty tattoo."

That was your one mark on him forever. And he called it a shitty tattoo. It wasn't like the stupid daily quotes and one-liners, it was forever.

God forbid you care about someone.

"...I thought you got stabbed." You didn't really see the point in getting hurt by what he said in anymore. This was just how Jouno was.

"Did you feel it?"

"Don't get excited! No! Weirdo!"

You kicked him from underneath the table, easily kicking at his long calves as they stuck out towards your space. Always your space, because he was a tall freak who loved to walk into the space of others, and yours was his favorite.

The man in front of you only giggled, playing footsie with his too-cold feet.

"I see it. Every time you get hurt, it shows up on my skin. You don't really give me pictures or colors. Sometimes I see sentences, but it's not enough. But I always know when you get hurt."

Which was true. You didn't have his scars, but you knew when they hurt. Because the little lines showed up.

"Not enough? Do you like hearing about my day?"

The man's voice sounded ecstatic, smiling as he trapped your feet between his own, almost in a handshake. Maybe he was playing with you, trying to flirt when he didn't mean it at all.

"I like it when you say positive things. It's not really common, you usually are threatening to kill people. It gets boring after a while."

You let him win, instead choosing to take a bite out of his uneaten food. It was right there, and you might as well take your chance, right?

"Well it did help me find you, didn't it?"

"I guess. Yeah."

You tried to take another bite, but the daisy-haired man took you hand and led the fork straight to his mouth. Part of you wanted to kill him, if it wasn't his food you were stealing from.

Maybe you actually cared about him, despite how weird he was.

"Can I ask you something?"

Jouno nodded, starting to eat now knowing that you were willing to take from his plate. Watching him was funny - trying to be as unmessy as he could, while smearing half of his face in sauce.

It was a little cute, seeing him struggle each time.

"Since I was twelve, there's this...mark, on my back. It's not really something you can see, but something you can more feel. It should be related to you, since no doctor has had an explanation for it."

Saying that was strange. The culprit was right in front of you, and now you were asking him politely, despite him being a man who broke into your home at least three times now.

"What do you think it is?" He spoke with his mouthful and no table manners, and at this rate you would rather have him eat with his hands.

"I don't know! Some fucked up masterpiece by a blind asshole I'm attached to for life. If you're an artist, I'm smacking the shit out of you."

You were starting to remember that promise when you were twelve. It really irked you that you hadn't kept to it yet.

"What? Why?"

"Because it's annoying."

Since it showed up, it ruined a lot of things for you - your expectations of your relationship, your fantasies, your dreams. It was really a bad premonition, because Jouno was just like that mark - fucking impossible to understand. And stuck to you for life.

"I can't believe you think the mark that signifies me, and our bond, is annoying. Wow, you hate me."

"You called mine a shitty tattoo!"

He stopped chewing like a marmot, going back slowly as he registered your words.

"...Okay. And?"

"Whatever. But you should get it." At the very least, if he was going to be a thorn in your side forever, he was going to be a useful one, and solve this for you.

"Why would I?"

"Don't play coy with me! That's how soulmates work! Didn't anyone tell you anything!"

"No not really. I honestly figured I would die before I met you, so I never cared."

He said this normally, as if he had said it before. It was just more dinner talk to him, as he chewed senselessly on his salad.

"...what?"

"I just never thought it would matter. I didn't think we would even meet, and I never thought about what would happen next. I don't think it's that big of a deal, really."

The world turned silent to you, as you heard him say that.

I never cared. I don't think its that big of a deal.

Then what were you doing here?

-

You never got your answer for that mark.

Stupid Jouno had disappeared to East Europe for the last two weeks, and you haven't heard back from him. Maybe you didn't want to.

He never cared.

You had spent years, before even knowing him, caring about what he would be like. You cared when he got stabbed, and you cared even when he rejected you.

But he never cared at all.

Did he never think about you? Not when you had broken your wrist? He felt your pain, didn't he feel that?

When you went to work today, you thought about getting hit by a car and seeing if he would call. Just to know if you were okay.

But that was selfish. He was probably busy, and making someone else feel the pain of getting hit by a car was more than a dick move.

You also needed that money from your job. They paid your rent, not your soulmate. That would stay a fantasy, and a dead one; where you and Jouno could function like a normal couple, and live together and maybe even get married.

If he was just a normal man. Who didn't say stupid things and hurt your feelings that you hated you had.

It was ruining the makeup that you spent hours on this morning.

-

"Hey."

"...It's been two months, and that's all you have to say? Hey?"

You had been ready to receive the news that he had died while he was there. Or at least see it on TV. He was practically MIA with the other Hunting Dogs, and no one in the government knew what the hell was going on.

"Listen. It's been a rough two months. When I come back, I want to see you. First thing.

"The hell am I to you? A dog? Should I come back with the morning newspaper?"

"I didn't realize you came with perks." He sounded exhausted over the phone, but his laugh was still the same. It managed to annoy you as well, even after not hearing it for two months.

"Go fuck yourself!"

"...Are you mad at me?"

Yes. You honestly had been mad at him since you knew him, but that wasn't something you wanted to admit to yet.

"No. You just caught me at a bad time."

"Just be at my apartment, alright? And wear that short dress with the strings. Or nothing at all."

"Is this a bootycall?"

"I call you for more things than that."

What an asshole. Jouno was supposed to be a logical man, but he had no clue how to navigate a human relationship it seemed. It was as if he was stepping on seashells every time, and you had to watch them crumble underneath his stupid boots.

He is horrible at navigating anyone's emotions. He only seemed to be able to hurt them.

You tried to keep your voice calm, despite the fact you wanted to cry. Part of you was proud that only your eyes were wet, knowing that Jouno wouldn't know how much he bothered you with his stupidity.

"We aren't anything. This is something."

"...Can we be something? I miss you."

He was almost whimpering over the receiver, and you hoped that someone on the other end could record what he looked like. Because he must have looked funny, begging and pleading like a dog.

"I'm expecting flowers. Or chocolate."

"You like dark, right? You have horrible tastebuds."

"Says the idiot who drinks more milk than coffee." He really should just add an espresso shot to his glass of milk, it was disgusting how much he added and then claimed he loved caffeine.

"Okay. Whatever. Love you."

God, what the hell was wrong with Jouno?

-

"The mark on your back."

Jouno's hand trailed up your spine, his fingers dancing along the little lines that made up the mark, as if reading it like a page in a book.

It felt good.

"Yeah?"

"It's a map." His lips were right above your ear, and you could feel how his breath fanned across your face. This man had no sense of personal space around you.

"Okay. And of what?"

"It's a map of my childhood home. I haven't been there in years. I don't know why it's on your back."

His fingers went lower, to the little part that was raised more than the rest. It looked like a mole, although the skin around it gave the impression of a faded scar, from what you had been told.

"How do you know it's a map?"

"I memorize everywhere I've been."

"And you know just by feeling it?" His hand splayed out against your back, making you feel small. Jouno's hands were not as soft as voice, and you could feel the work he put in them as his callouses brushed against your skin.

"I've never felt it before. But I know. It's strange that it's on your body."

"Well, it means something. It's been there since forever."

Over a decade now. It had taunted you for over a decade.

"...I haven't been there in a long time."

The man plopped his body down next to you, drapping half of himself on top of you. He was heavy, and his face was nearly smushed against your own as he lay there, as if he were a weighted blanket and not a man.

"You know there's another half of the bed, right? You own a king-sized mattress."

And silk sheets, that smelt really good.

He could roll over and still have space to spread out. There was no reason for him to treat your space like it was his own.

"You smell good." To exaggerate, he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you closer, smelling your neck and ear as if you were a living room candle.

You tried to push him away, laughing as he stuck his nose in the one ticklish spot along your neck, but it was hard to fight in the position you were in. Pulling against his hair and kicking against him was futile as he pulled you in closer, grabbing you two into a hold as he decided that your sweaty body was the best thing he had smelled since soap had been invented.

"Freak!" It was hard to stay serious as his arm danced along your sides, having you choke on the word as it sputtered out in laughter.

Jouno only laughed at your struggles. Because of course they were funny to a sadist like him.

-

"I um. I got you flowers."

Jouno looked funny when he tried to be anything other than a soldier or an asshole.

He dressed up - and not to beat a man to death, but because he was seeing you. On a date.

The first one since you had actually known each other. It was such a mundane thing, but it felt like you were seeing a wild animal playing dress up. His hair was done as nice as it usually was, and he was dressed in an outfit that you could picture him wearing to an event - he looked like he didn't have a criminal record.

The flowers added to it, bouncing from in front of him and between his side, as if he had never given a woman flowers in his life before.

His smile said otherwise, which couldn't help but make you laugh inside.

"For?"

"To apologize." He decided to push them into your hands, grabbing them around the stems and making sure you weren't going to drop them to the floor.

You would never do that. They smelled too nice.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"There's a lot of times I've made you cry. Usually, you apologize for that." His voice was low, as he fixed the bouquet he couldn't see. His hands were nervously looking for things to pick at, as if they had eyes of their own and could fix the world one little detail at a time.

His face stayed frozen in his stupid little smile.

"Well, it's not like I'm upset about it now."

"Can't you just accept some flowers?"

His hands decided to fix your hair, brushing down flyaways that didn't exist. If you stared only at his smile, you would think he was as calm as a still pond.

"...They're nice." They were your favorites. They matched what your childhood self had pictured for her stupid little wedding day. One you had given up on, but still wanted to believe in.

Maybe still did, in some way.

Jouno wasn't exactly what you pictured - he looked more like a fox than a handsome prince, and the way he smelled your head right now was more weird than romantic, but you were willing to take it.

He might have been your handsome prince.

"So is there a date planned? Or are we just standing in a park?"

"Why do you always question me?"

"You don't really know what you're doing."

Jouno was a brilliant man in a lot of things. But god he could not make up his mind when it came to you and what he wanted out of this.

Was this really that hard?

"You've seen me at work."

"Okay? Are we going to kill bank robbers or something? Is that our first date?"

The man most certainly had his gun on him, which confused you, because you knew that he hated using it more than any other weapon he owned. But yet you were sure that tucked away in his Chelsea boots was his little handgun, that he would pull out in a moment's notice.

Maybe he had one tucked away in his pants somewhere. He didn't seem to bring his sword, which is the only weapon he hadn't complained about to you yet.

"...It's the boring romance stuff. You like that."

"It's not boring-"

"I've seen your movies. It's boring."

He rolled his shoulders back, scanning the park as his earring danced against his neck.

"And what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Never really thought about it." His hands started to dance along your jacket, pulling against the lapels as if there was lint that he could actually see.

"Maybe you actually like the boring stuff, and just don't know it."

You started to ignore him, instead deigning to walk ahead of him with the bouquet he gave you.

Were you going to carry this the entire time?

"A walk in the park? You think that's fun?" He only took two big steps to catch up to you, and you dared to kick at him. You didn't care if you were trying to trip a blind man - Jouno wasn't a regular blind man, and he would probably throw you both into the grass eventually after one of you said something stupid.

"It's fun when it's with people you love."

Taking the bouquet, you gently slapped him with it. The daisy-haired man snorted back.

This is close enough to what you wanted.

Hey guys ignore the fact that I originally uploaded this half unfinished yesterday! This is for my Valentine's day event, so go check that out lol. Also sorry that its. So long.

[kikyoupdates]

Heartbreaker ⭑˚💔⭑ 𝑑𝑒𝑗𝑎 𝑣𝑢

bnha x f!reader

reverse harem, isekai, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

You awaken one day with virtually no memories. The only thing guiding you is some strange system that likes to dictate your every move, and for some reason, it insists that you make certain people fall in love with you. Desperate for answers, you decide to go along with its demands. After all, how hard can it be?

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No matter how often you found yourself here, it still didn’t make the fear any less intense.  

As always, it was pitch-black as far as you could see. Your first instinct was to scream out and beg to be released, but unsurprisingly, the system didn’t grace you with a response. Panic rushed through your veins. You had no idea how long they intended to keep you here. You couldn’t even begin to fathom how long your suffering would go on for, and if that wasn’t horrible enough, you would be unable to move for the whole duration of it.  

Wait. Actually... you could move.  

This had never happened before. When you took a few cautious steps, you found that you were able to move just fine, like in the real world. Hesitantly, you patted the sides of your face and various parts of your body. You could feel things. Something was different. But why?  

Suddenly, you remembered the last message the system had sent you.  

[“𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.”]

You hadn’t the slightest clue what they meant by that, but if the past was any indication, it couldn’t be good news.  

That being said, you could actually move this time, so instead of sitting still and lamenting your fate, you decided to try and look for a way out.  

“Hello?” you called. It was probably pointless to wait for an answer. Not like there was anyone else in here but you. Still, you were choosing to believe that the system wasn’t all-powerful. If you made enough of an effort, perhaps you could find its weak spot. Perhaps you could break free of the iron-clad grip it had on your life.  

You walked and walked, for several minutes without stopping. Unfortunately, the longer you searched, the less hopeful you felt. It was way too dark and disorienting. You could have been going in circles for all you knew. 

“This isn’t fair,” you whimpered. “Please let me out of here. I’ll fix things with Katsuki. I-I'm not sure how, but I promise I will.”  

They still weren’t responding to you. Even though you’d known from a while ago that they were far from being your ally, you were slowly coming to the realization that they truly were rotten to the core.

Right as you were about to crumple to your knees and start crying, it happened.  

You saw him.  

From the distance, you couldn’t even really tell that it was a man at first. You just barely saw the outline of his silhouette, light surrounding his body in place of the darkness all around. There was a person in here. You weren’t all alone. Someone might actually be able to help!  

“Wait!” you cried out, breaking into a run. He was walking away from you, and you struggled to keep up lest you lose him altogether. “P-Please stop! I need your help! I need to get out of here!”  

He finally turned towards the sound of your voice, stopping in his tracks. His pause allowed you to catch up, and now that you were closer, you could finally get a good look at him.  

You couldn’t tell his exact age, but he was definitely older than you. A young adult, perhaps? He had dark brown hair that was short-cropped and showed off his beautiful golden eyes. They were piercing and bright, with long lower lashes that made them stand out that much more. You got the sense that he was probably quite handsome, but unfortunately, the mask he wore prevented you from seeing his full face. It was red with gold detailing, styled in the likeness of what plague doctors used to wear.  

And once again, you were faced with that nagging sense of familiarity. The sense that this wasn’t the first time you’d laid eyes on him.  

Not that his appearance really mattered. What mattered was that he was in here with you, and thus, your only means of escape.  

“I-I’m trapped,” you said meekly.  

The man didn’t so much as flinch. He gave you a curious look, tilting his head to the side just slightly. Actually, you were starting to have your doubts about this whole thing. He was eerily quiet. Was he even real, or just a figment of your imagination? Had you already lost your sanity and were now simply hallucinating?  

Hoping to put your suspicions to rest, you reached out and tried to touch him. If you could feel him, then he had to be real, right?  

As it turned out, that was a grave mistake. You didn’t realize it until your fingers made contact with the exposed skin of his forearm, and he shrunk away from you, disgust lacing his features.  

“Don’t touch me!” he exclaimed, revealing a deep and husky voice. He then glanced down towards where your hand had made contact with him. You realized that small hives had risen to the surface of his skin.  

So, he was real. But he looked upset that you’d touched him without asking.  

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. Based on how strongly he’d reacted, it seemed like the right thing to do.  

Unfortunately for you, it was too little, too late.  

“You’re a vile little thing,” the man hissed. You’d only just realized that he was wearing white cloth gloves, and you watched with a mildly perplexed gaze as he began pulling one of them off. “How dare you lay your filthy hands on me. I feel like I’m going to get sick.”  

It all happened in slow motion. You could see his ungloved hand reaching towards you, but your brain couldn’t process the information in time for you to move out of the way.  

The second his fingers touched your arm, it erupted into a bloody mess.  

You screamed louder than you’d ever screamed before. The pain was all-consuming and utterly unbearable. You were missing an arm. He’d barely touched you, and just like that, your body had been mutilated beyond repair.  

“W-Why...?” was all you managed to splutter, cheeks streaming down your cheeks. “I s-said I was sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m just scared. I’m so scared...”  

You were losing blood at an alarming rate. Your head was all light and fluttery, to the point that it was a struggle to even keep your vision steady. So much blood. All of this... was yours?  

The man watched you bleed out, and although you couldn’t see the lower portion of his face thanks to the mask he wore, you were certain his expression was devoid of any remorse.  

“You shouldn’t have touched me,” he grimaced, carefully placing his glove back on, then shaking his head. “Good grief. Everyone is so diseased.”

You could feel your breathing getting fainter. Short, stuttering gasps left your lips. Your cheeks were drenched with tears, but you were starting to feel less and less of your body. Every part was slowly getting number by the second, and you felt as though something heavy was weighing down on your chest, slowly suffocating you.  

Your eyes rolled back into your skull. 

Just like that, you died.

But then, you were alive again.  

Air rushed into your lungs, and when you opened your eyes, you found that you were in the same position as before—lying on your back and staring up at the sky from when Katsuki had pushed you down.  

Instinctively, you screamed, hands darting to where your arm had once exploded into bits of flesh. Unlike before, there was no gaping wound; no indication that you were missing any limbs. There was no pain, either. At least, not to the touch. But in the recesses of your mind, it still lingered. You couldn’t forget it so easily.

[“𝐈 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.”]

You shuddered and let out a disbelieving gasp. Just like when you’d been trapped in the void, tears started pouring down your cheeks. It wasn’t fair. This was too much to bear. It was just too cruel. Why did you have to endure something so horrible? Just because you’d unintentionally gotten on someone’s bad side?  

You were being tortured over something like that?  

[“𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭. 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐒𝐨. 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭?”]

You choked on your tears, clamping a palm over your mouth to keep from hyperventilating. “I-I’m—I really didn’t mean to, I was just—”  

[“𝐀𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐱. 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.”]

They were completely and utterly remorseless. Just like the man from earlier—whether he was a real person or something fictitious the system had concocted—neither of them cared about your suffering in the slightest. The system had told you from the beginning that they weren’t a human being. They probably couldn’t even begin to wrap their head around the concept of sympathy.  

Something told you that if they wanted to, they could put you through things that were much, much worse.  

Mustering up every ounce of your willpower, you clenched your fists and slowly stopped crying. A few more tears kept on rolling down your cheeks, but at the very least, you weren’t sobbing out loud anymore. 

“I... understand,” you said weakly. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.”  

For the time being, the system seemed satisfied.  

[“𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝. 𝐍𝐨𝐰, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐞?”]

You nodded vacantly. It didn’t even occur to you to hate them for what they’d put you through. All you felt was terror.

As much as you wanted to say that the next few days went by normally, that would’ve been a lie.  

Even though the system didn’t punish you, the memories of the nightmare you’d been forced to experience were still fresh in your mind. You did your best to swallow your fear and pretend like everything was fine, but in the back of all your thoughts was the same question.  

What happens when I screw up next time?  

You could only imagine that each rendition would be more horrible than the last, which made it almost impossible to stay calm. You were always wondering when another one of your love interests would get upset with you and make the system lash out. For that very reason, you felt hesitant to even contact Izuku or Shouto, afraid that one misstep would ruin all your progress and put you back at square one.  

You knew you needed to be stronger. You wouldn’t be able to make it if you kept breaking down at the first sign of trouble. But you just couldn’t help it. Even when the system reassured you that they would play nice as long as you didn’t royally screw things up again, you didn’t believe them. 

After all, given everything they’d already put you through, how could you?  

The days felt long, and your exhaustion ran deep. Nonetheless, you trudged onwards. The thing you wanted most was to regain your memories. Perhaps once they slowly began to come back to you, it would make the situation a bit easier. You might even find out exactly how you ended up like this to begin with.  

You were resolved to be free of this system one day, no matter what it took.  

“That’ll be 550 yen,” the cashier said.  

You nodded listlessly and deposited your coins on the counter, then grabbed your cup of coffee. You weren’t sure if you used to be a heavy coffee drinker, but given how worn-out you were, it was the only thing that was really keeping you going. You’d hardly gotten any sleep the past few nights. You kept seeing that man with the golden eyes in your dreams, and every time, he killed you.  

You exited the store and took a gulp of your coffee, not even stopping to think that it would be incredibly hot.  

“Shit!”  

You burned your tongue, and the sharp pain made you fumble with the coffee cup and drop it onto the ground. You watched with a blank expression as the dark brown liquid spilled onto the pavement. It wasn’t even a little bit, either. You’d barely had a single sip of your drink, and now it was all gone.  

[“𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝟓𝟓𝟎 𝐲𝐞𝐧.”]

It wasn’t a big deal. It was just a cup of coffee. That’s what you tried to tell yourself, but it didn’t make the tears stop. You were just frustrated. Frustrated, and beyond that, incredibly overwhelmed. You didn’t what to do, or how to do it, and your anxiety was at an all-time high. 

Sometimes, the smallest of things were all it took to push someone over the edge.  

Feeling hopeless, you slumped down against the sidewalk and buried your face in your palms, then began crying. You knew you shouldn’t be doing this. You needed to stay strong. But as hard as you tried, you just couldn’t escape the paranoia and emptiness that consumed you. Was it so much to ask that you just be normal? Did you used to be such a horrible person that you actually deserved this?  

You didn’t know, so you just kept on crying. Mercifully, the system didn’t berate you for it or chime in with any malicious remarks. They let you bask in your sadness until you’d had your fill.  

Honestly, you probably would have gone on sobbing for a while longer if not for the stranger that called out to you.  

“Hey, kid. Are you alright?”  

With a shuddering breath, you managed to lift your face and look up. There was a man standing in front of you. He had long black hair—which was admittedly rather unkempt—equally black eyes, a scruffy bit of facial hair, and wore a black jumpsuit with what appeared to be some sort of cloth piled around his neck as if it was a scarf.  

Ah. It’s happening again.

There was yet another person that was giving you some weird sense of déjà vu. But he clearly didn’t recognize you, so how could you possibly know him?  

Regardless, before you even realized it, your lips had formed a sound. 

“Aizawa?” you mumbled.  

His eyes went wide. It was completely silent, and all you could do was watch as his brow furrowed, confusion and mild worry overtaking his expression. 

“How do you know my name?”  

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[valiantartwritingweasel]

Infatuation ❦

The slowest slowburn that ever burned. (If you can even call this a romance)

When “reaction time of a turtle” and “I say three words a day” meet and they start to admire the other in odd ways you also have to squint to see it

Side note: English isn’t my first language and I’ve never written anything this long before

I know there’s a gazillion ways to portray Dottore but in this he’s pretty calm (and odd) 

Gender neutral casual brainrot <3

TW: It’s boring and unreasonably long (almost 7k words man) and I lost the plot like three times

❦

The trip had been way longer than you had expected. You figured: ‘Hey just a few days’ but no, it had been weeks by now and to top it all off you were in a wildly different climate than what you were used to. The warm heavy air stood in stark contrast to the cool clear air back home. And of course there was the stark difference between your usual chillouts at the facility that stood in contrast to the overgrown jungle you were traversing right now. 

You had been given a mission. The Doctor had given you the simple task of retrieving something that you could only describe as a “metal thingy”. Said thingy was now sitting neatly in your pocket as you stomped your way back through the dense forest. You wouldn’t call yourself angry. But you wouldn’t consider yourself calm either. Definitely agitated enough to mutter various disagreements to yourself. Laughable of him to call this task “simple”. 

If his definition of “simple” was it, to have you follow some dusted old map that showed just enough trees and mountains to somewhat navigate the way to some old dusty ruins, only for you to then fight your way into said ruins, to be then met by various doors with fifehundredsixtyseven puzzle mechanisms to solve, to be then met by more enemies, then yea sure, it was simple indeed. 

The whole thing was so hard to overcome that you had even wondered whether or not you were even supposed to come back alive or if he had just used an excuse to send you off to death for the heck of it. Fair guess maybe if you thought about the way your coworkers whispered about the man and his crazy ideas but you did find the metal thingy and it was too strictly guarded for you to take it as something as simple as “send that one to death for fun”. Again. Nothing about this had been simple.

There was nothing you could do about this now though. The job was done and, even though you needed four days for the task instead of two as he had asked of you, you were on your way back to the Port. The probability that someone had watched you during the task was incredibly high too, now that you thought about it. Running was not really an option. Not that you really considered it anyway. Sure, the facility was strange and the vibes felt off sometimes but you kind of faulted your coworkers for you to think that way. They always spun the weirdest stories, similar to teenagers who had just found out that graveyards exist.

You shook the thoughts out of your head and straightened your back to look ahead of yourself. Figuring out how to get back was more important than those tales.

❦

Not only had you reached the Port with no further difficulties, as luck would have it the doctor hadn’t been there ever since you left. If luck chose to stay, then you had a good chance of Dottore not finding out about you exceeding the time limit at all! Not that you necessarily believed every rumor you had heard but that didn't mean that you had to test them yourself.

Instead of worrying about it, you spent your time at the Port in relaxation, leisurely strolling through the streets and eating some local delicacies. You had to admit that Sumeru had started to grow on you. If you ignored the insects and the crushing heat, it had some really pretty plants and buildings. 

You also found a talent in befriending strangers and deeming them your new day-travel companions. You had spent the day doing just that and were just in the process of waving your new short-term friend goodbye as he sailed away from the Port and back to his nation. When you could barely make out his blue hair amidst the waves, you figured you could end your day as well. You turned around, only to be met by a person standing right behind you. “Oh” you coughed embarrassed as you glimpsed at their face. It was Dottore, just inches away from you. “You’re back” you choked out in surprise before you bowed your head a little. “Do you have it?” was his one simple question. “Yeah. Yes, it’s in my room”. A sharp “Get it” was all you needed. He was intimidating indeed. With another nod you took a step around him and hurried off to the house that you stayed at. He caught you so off guard that you had found it hard to focus on any other thoughts except the mission now. You were in and out of your room in mere seconds and were already running back to the docks with great speed.

Upon return you couldn’t spot his figure among the docks so you beelined for his ship instead. The scrap was sitting neatly in your hands and you were careful not to drop it.

You walked on board and wasted no time to enter his little office. He was sitting behind his desk, his hands neatly held beneath his chin. For a second you thought about the way he looked a little out of place in all the wood works around him but you shook your head and wasted no further thought on it. You walked towards him and held out your hands to place the thing on his table. “Here it is.” you eyed him with a hint of curiosity. Why was that thing so important to him? He reached out and took the thing into his hand to eye it before he mumbled “It’s a core”. His tone was…condescending. You could tell that he wasn’t impressed by the fact that you did absolutely nothing to understand what it was for in the first place. You coughed up a little air to cover up the embarrassment creeping up on you and nodded. He continued, “Did you run into trouble?”. His head shifted, indicating that he was, probably?, looking at you. “Well” you started, scratching your head, unsure whether or not you should lie about how much you had actually struggled “some here and there. It was pretty guarded.” He simply nodded before he shifted his attention back to the core at hand. “Dismissed.” You did a small courtly bow before turning to leave his office. You took a deep breath as soon as the door closed behind you. That went…okay. Not as bad as you thought it might. You exhaled the air and shook your head. 

❦

The past few days had been a blur but the one thing that caught your attention was the way your superior had been switching his demeanor every now and then. He went from being calculated and calm to giggly and a little crazed. It was so weird. The shift was never dramatic but it was enough to make a grown man uncomfortable. And you weren’t the only one who noticed. Sometimes you could hear the soldiers whispering, always wondering and fantasizing about the reason for his behavioral change. Though, they spun the regular odd stories that sounded almost fanatical, so you paid them not much mind. 

You were walking around the Docks when you caught a glimpse of the Doctor on his little boat. As if he had sensed your presence his mask matched your gaze and he waved you over immediately. If your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you, he was smiling the smile that graced his features every now and then. An odd grin did he have. You sighed but made a point to not let it show on your expression before you walked towards the bridge. You had stepped foot on it and taken a solid two steps on deck before the boat started to move. Instinctively your hands took hold of the railing. Huh. It seemed like you were done around here. You looked towards the Docks as the ship slowly brought distance between itself and the port. The last thing you saw was a woman dressed in white and a thing floating next to her as they watched you sail away. 

❦

The journey had been pretty boring. It was just you, some fatui soldiers and Dottore and no one was doing much for morale. You could’ve sworn that you once read something about pirates and how they always made sure to include entertainment on long journeys to ensure the mental well being of their crew. Well, this boat had no such policy. No one ever said a word and if they did then only in murmurs. Some of the soldiers just seemed on edge by the Doctor's presence, others just seemed uninterested. You were just bored. 

It took a few days of being on the boat before you finally managed to convince a few soldiers to play cards with you. The day had been nice, the waves played in calm rythms and while the sun was out it wasn’t grilling you alive. Multiple soldiers had moved to the deck and were actually starting to enjoy themselves. You sat among them, in the midst of three soldiers, playing a round of OOH. The rules were pretty simple. You had to slap cards on the table and if you threw the right one you had to yell OOH. You had trouble remembering who came up with that. The soldier next to you had just slapped his cards on the table and was about to let out a glorious “OOH” when Dottore passed your table. As if on command, all four of you kept still with held breath as he passed by. Not only was it unusual to see the man outside of his quarters, it was also obvious that something wasn’t right. He was emanating a weird aura and it almost looked like he was vibrating. It was so odd..Everyone could tell that something was off. And suddenly, as if someone had struck him, the blue haired man crumbled into pieces adorned by dust.

It felt like everything stood still. Everyone's eyes were focused on the spot the man had been standing in. For a minute not even the waves uttered a word. Then chaos broke out and spread like a wildfire. Every third soldier on deck started yelling and accusing the other of treason. All you could do was stare at the crumbled pieces lying on the floor. What was going on? Did he just evaporate- The only thing that finally pulled you out of your shock was a chair that launched past your head. As if awoken by a splash of cold water you shot up from your seat and ducked away into your cabin while you tried to not get into the punchline of a soldier. You figured someone should stop and calm them down but you also figured that it wasn’t going to be you, so instead you locked your door and sat down on your bed. Blurring out the sound of the fight was easy but figuring out what event had just taken place was a hard one. To you it did look like he…died? And an even bigger question, if he had died, what was the cause of death?

❦

The rest of the trip had been awfully awkward and uncomfortable. Even more so than it had been before. After all, your superior had just disintegrated into thin air, leaving the rest of you without a leader. Of course the soldiers manned up, the fight hadn’t gone on for too long but the tension had been on edge ever since.

After the incident the tales about the Doctor had only grown even more ambiguous and fanatical in spirit. Some soldiers uttered rumors about a hitman, others blamed the gods, a fraction wondered if he simply had a stroke and a really small percentage told verses about his life potion juice running out. You paid no mind to them but did in fact wonder along with many: Who would have to pay for the sin of Dottore vanishing? Returning to his facility and having to say that you lost the second Harbinger sounded awfully insane.

So imagine how surprised you and your fellows had been when the man who welcomed you back at the facility docks had been none other than Dottore himself. He stood there in all of his glory, waiting for everyone to see him before he turned around and went back inside. He didn’t take the time to answer questions and everyone was ordered back to work. So all you could do was return to work, everyone feeling dumbfounded and exhausted. All of that ruckus for nothing.

❦

Days went by quite uneventful. The only thing of note you found out was the fact that it had been a known fact, and not a crazy tale, that the Doctor could, in fact, multiplicate himself. You also learned that he had apparently given those segment things up, so to say, which resulted in his copies “passing away”. No one of the attending boat crew had to die for their sins that day. 

You had just thrown on your clothes, ready to face another hard day of making sure everyone was staying hydrated, when you were called into Dottores’ office. You wondered, like any other time it happened, why would he? But you shrugged it off, nodded to the informant and proceeded to make your way to the Doctor’s office (HA). 

You knocked on the door. A low “come in” came in response. You opened the door, stepped inside and made sure to close the door before you walked fully into the room. Your eyes landed on the man sitting at his desk. He had one foot placed on his knee and his head placed on his hand while he held something in his free hand. 

“Sit” It was a clear order that you followed by taking a seat on the free chair on the opposing side. With less distance between you, you could see that he was holding the core that you had retrieved for him weeks ago. “It’s useless” he said before he slammed the thing on the table. He slid it over to you harshly enough for it to make a nasty squeaking noise. He retracted his hand from the object and leaned back into his chair. 

You had your hands in your lap and went stiff in your seat, staring at the core. Were you supposed to give an answer to that? You directed your gaze towards Dottore who was looking at you as if he was waiting for something. You choked down a little spit and answered “Why?”. Clearly you lacked in the thoughtful response department. He let out a sigh “It’s not powered. It doesn’t turn on. It’s useless”. You blinked at him and tried to shoot an apologetic smile “My bad. Is there something I can do to help with that?”. You weren’t sure if you read him right but he seemed to be somewhat satisfied with your answer. Or at the very least it looked like he accepted it as a valid one.

“Nothing you could do right now. I will call for you if that changes.” You nodded but he continued without wasting much time “Get me a coffee”. Taken off guard you let out a surprised “What?”. It took you a long second to remember your place and added “What kind?”. His short lived answer was “Just coffee.” before he waved you out.

You stood up so fast that you almost knocked your knee into the table. But you caught yourself and hurried out of his office and into the kitchen. The whole process of the art of coffee making went past you like a wind. You were used to the task but not to the receiver. Why were you suddenly on coffee duty for the Doctor? It was so odd. Him having an assistant like that had been rare. It was also odd that you had never seen the man as much as you had ever before over the course of the past few weeks. If you had to guess you’d say you’d have seen him like twice a year before that, and that for multiple years. Now you had even seen him die. Well, technically. You took a long exhausted breath while you rubbed your hand on your forehead. It was all so much, especially considering that being Dottores direct assistant probably carried much more weight and consequences with it than just being his subordinate's subordinate. With another deep breath you tried to ground yourself. The thought of having to spend less time with the fanatical workers around you didn’t seem all that bad at least. You took the cup of “just coffee” from the stove and made your way back, careful not to spill any.

He took the coffee without another word, only dismissing you with a wave of his hand. 

❦

Ever since that day you had been in and out of Dottores office on a regular basis. At first it was delivering coffee, then it was messages and then it turned into you running medical files from one room to another and sorting through various of his documents. You could say that the job sounded important but most of the things you sorted through looked quite boring. Of course you never looked past page one but still, most of the headlines and titles sounded like they were about various diseases and financials, so really really really boring. 

You had just put a ton of medical files into chronological order (the Doctor seemed so tidy and clean, why was it such a mess?) when you heard footsteps approaching. By the way they sounded, you could guess that it was the man himself walking into the room. You had memorized the pattern of his footsteps so well, you guessed right almost all the time. Prepared for the interaction you turned around and greeted the man with a bow of your head. He nodded in return and motioned for you to come with him. Then he turned around and walked out of the room. You, of course, followed suit, by now being used to following his silent orders without question. 

You walked with him all the way back to his office, only to be met inside by the man you had mentally deemed the most annoying man you had ever had the displeasure of meeting. Pantalone, the absolute chaotic man of unreasonably high expectations of the world and an unreasonably high drive to start yapping about it. You suppressed an eye roll at the way he greeted you with his fake little smile and his fake little wave and instead greeted him with a fake little smile and a fake little wave of your own. You figured both of you were aware that you detested each other. Dottore paid no mind to the interaction and placed himself behind his desk. He did not sit down but instead stood behind his chair. Pantalone made no move to sit down himself and stood across on the other side of the table, not even glancing at the chair placed before him. You crossed your arms and stood off to the sides. You would've been annoyed at their stupid nonverbal petty fight over who’s cooler, if you hadn’t been wondering about why you were even here in the first place. Sure, Dottore had wild ideas and weird tasks for you but their importance was never as high as listening in on two harbingers. 

The man grinned a half crazed grin towards Pantolini and said “Let’s talk business”. And thus the most boring two hours of your life had begun.

Not only did you not understand more than half of the things the two men mentioned and argued about, you had also started to feel your heel painfully pushing into your leg. No matter what, you would never ever get used to standing around for such a long amount of time, especially not when that time was filled with awkward silence on your side and a strong yearning to step outside the room. Dottore had just been muttering down some reasoning when Pantalone cut him off. “This is not a risk worth taking. Think it through some more and then call for me again. As of now, I am not on board.” With those words he turned, gave you a courtesy fakey smile and sauntered out of the room. You watched him close the door with distaste. You did not stare for long as a sigh caught your ear and a loud metal clunking on wood directed your attention back to the Doctor. Your eyes wandered to his face and…you were looking at Dottores face. You were looking at Dottores' face. Yₒᵤ wₑᵣₑ ₗₒₒₖᵢₙg ₐₜ Dₒₜₜₒᵣₑₛ' fₐcₑ. You could not help but let a gasp leave your lips. It took much out of you to close your mouth in an orderly fashion. His eyes met yours. Much too enamored with his eyes and the burning red color of them, you failed to recognize the irritated expression on his features. He was staring daggers into your soul. 

You came back to your senses by rapidly blinking the embarrassment off your face. 

“He’s insufferable,” he muttered. You nodded in agreement. You didn’t listen enough to know what had bothered him about the man this time but you did overall agree with the statement. “Greedy, greedy, greedy man” he continued to mumble as he slid his mask to the side of the table before he sat down on his chair “Coffee”. You nodded again and hurried off into the kitchen. You were used to getting orders in short sentences now. He knew you knew what he meant seventy percent of the time and he knew that you actually had the courage to ask if you didn’t. Sure, he didn’t hold you to the standards of a genius but he held you to the standard of being honest and.. pretty normal. Which he found had always been hard to find, being the man that he was. 

❦

Days had passed and you were seeing less and less of your coworkers. In turn you had spent much more time at the side of Dottore. You were still in your position of being his assistant. Nothing bad had happened to you ever since, contrary to some peoples’ belief, and you were even starting to have some sort of conversations with the blue haired man. It wasn’t all too much compared to general standards but in Dottores’ standards it was quite a lot. Though it was almost never a conversational exchange. Sometimes he just asked you a question that you had time to think about for the entire day and other times you made the mistake of asking him about one little thing he may take interest in only for him to go on a tangent about said thing for hours. He gave you access to so much knowledge and you disregarded half of it. Not that you didn’t care at all. You just couldn’t remember most of the things he said. You would've had to have some sort of degree in math and science to follow most of his monologues. But you liked listening to him. He had a unique voice and you enjoyed the sound of it. 

He himself loved to talk about his interests, especially when talking about them made him seem like a smart man. Which it did. Most of the time. Sometimes, when you tried to listen and understand what he was getting at, he sounded so smart and eloquent one second, only for him to throw in some wild theories the next second, all while using the vocabulary of a madman. He was either serious or he enjoyed confusing you on purpose. Neither would surprise you. 

You had also learned that, while yes the man seemed somewhat put together, he was indeed a little crazy as people had said. Both intentionally and subconsciously. Most of the time he tried to gaslight you into thinking he was normal but sometimes he couldn’t hide his little grin that reached his eyes in a crazy light whenever he thought a bit too hard about surpassing the gods. Which, oh right, you also found was a fair factor for you to deem him as at least unhinged in spirit. You sometimes thought back to the tales the people had spun about him and while you could see now why they had gained such popularity through the facility, you did not deem them to be fair assumptions about Dottore. He was odd and fairly annoying at times but not creepy. You respected him, of course, but sometimes you felt like you were a rich prince's butler, not the subordinate of a “mad and creepy” genius. 

All of these thoughts and more were rushing through your head while you were once again watching Dottore fly around his lab. He was yapping about some nectar (or something?) while he played around with some chemicals. Or as he would call it, “conducted experimental research”. You were just off to the side, watching him swirl around while listening to his voice. Nothing else occupied your mind. Just you, Dottore and your thoughts in one room. 

Dottore on the other hand, had sensed that you had been absent minded for a while. After he had started to talk about the process of mashing up cashews into soup, he knew with certainty that you weren’t paying attention to his words anymore. Yet your eyes were fixed on him. He still had your attention and that pleased him enough to keep yapping about whatever came to his mind. 

❦

There was one day you remembered vividly. It could’ve easily been a boring day, easy to be forgotten and mushed in memory with all the other days. But the universe and all the stars that resided over you did not like that idea.

You had brought Dottore his seventh cup of coffee that day. A small voice in your head reminded you that more than five cups a day would be too much caffeine for one person but the last time you voiced those thoughts in the Doctors’ presence, he broke a pen. So you figured you wouldn’t do that again. The man had been on edge the entire day, brooding over something he disagreed with. You guessed that it had something to do with Panini but decided not to inquire about it further. You had never been on the receiving end of Dottores’ anger and you liked it to stay that way. His eyes were fixed on his desk and yours were fixed on his. He had stopped wearing his mask around you more frequently. Only when he needed you to focus on something else than his eyes did he put it on. And it worked. 

Now he was bare faced and you were busy watching him, sitting on the chair in front of his desk and letting time pass by with great calm when he muttered “What’s the craziest thing you would do?”. So it was one of those days. You were distracted and answered with half of your mind intact. “You.” The questions he asked were always phrased somewhat simple minded but you liked to think about your answₑᵣₛ… Everything in your body stood still for a moment. Even your heart acted still, waiting for you to process your answer. The more the realization came through, the more your eyes widened. “ᵒʰ” the sound that left your lips was barely audible. You looked at Dottore and your eyes met his. He certainly looked pleased with your answer, the anger that had distorted his features before had resided. He looked… well definitely not as offended as you think he could potentially have been. 

Initially he figured you’d come up with an interesting answer based on creativity, one that could help him take his mind off of things, not the quick unthoughtful one he had received. He could’ve argued that he didn’t like to be called crazy. But then again, who was he to argue now that you had helped him change the topics that had been plaquing mind?

❦

The grin that had plastered itself on Dottores’ features after your simple minded answer followed you into your dreams longer than just one night. The image of it sat deep in your mind and left you to wonder. It didn’t make him look cheerful nor did it make him look intimidating. The first adjective you would plaster on it would’ve been “desirable” but you felt odd just thinking the thought. You shook your head and stared at the ceiling. The only sound that hollowed through the room was an odd whirring noise that could be heard throughout most parts of the building. There was no clock in sight but you didn’t need one to know that you had been lying half awake throughout most of the night again. Which Dottore had been entirely at fault of. His grin was one thing but the man had assigned you to a new room as well. It was closer to his office and further away from the bustle of the facility. He successfully kept you away from the loud bustling of the other workers. In order to keep you focused or whatever. But you needed more time to get accustomed to the lack of voices that had always trailed past your door well past midnight, creating an unwelcome but familiar soundwave to fall asleep to. Without the ruckus outside everything had suddenly been too silent, making way for more room in your head which it could now fill with annoyingly loud thoughts that pestered you through the night. You groaned and pulled your pillow over your face after yet another mental image of that stupid harbinger. “How annoying” you muttered into your pillow before you rolled around to try and find a better sleeping position. 

❦

While you had spent your time going through countless sleepless nights, it seemed that Dottore had not been affected at all. You hadn’t really been counting on him losing his shit over your previous comment but it was still a humbling experience to see him so overly calm and collected, no matter how deep of a look he took into your eyes. 

Honestly, nothing had changed at all. Except for your eye bags of course but you had only yourself to blame for that. Neither your job nor Dottores’ attitude had changed. 

Not until you had entered his lab one day, not without invitation of course, only to see him assemble something that looked like a…marionette? You figured that’s what it had been based on his older clones. You never knew the difference before the incident on the boat but since then you had once caught a glimpse of one singular unfinished clone lying around the lab. You hadn’t taken a closer look at it but the vague image of it still resided in your memory and it fit the image of the half assembled doll you had laid your eyes on that day. The Doctor, who had been standing next to the marionette, waved you over. Once you came close, he immediately put you to work, shoving various body parts and limbs into your arms before informing you about all the places you needed to attach them to.

While you had hardly been able to keep up with his instructions, you didn’t fail to notice that the doll did not look much like Dottore. Of course, it had no head but still you were sure it carried little to no resemblance. No, the doll did not resemble Dottore at all, you just couldn’t figure out who it it looked like instead. It seemed awfully familiar but you couldn’t put your finger on who exactly it reminded you of. 

Nontheless you focused on your work, assembling the limbs with great caution.

Not once did you question his intentions. Any and all information you received, he had laid out on his own accord. And while yes, some might argue that that came from a lack of intelligence on your end, he felt like it came from a place of trust instead. You did not question his intentions because they did not seem a threat to you. All they were to you was just another task, another part of being his assistant. 

He used to think he’d appreciate it if you had a more curious nature but after some time had passed the little curiosity you exhibited had been more than enough for him. You only asked questions when you were curious, never just to fill the silence. Sure, it had been disappointing to see you not take interest in his creations at all but he enjoyed knowing that you didn’t care. He enjoyed the authenticity. He had craved it ever since he was young, ever since people had started lying to him. But you never did. You never lied. 

❦

More time had passed, although you had no way of telling how much time it had been exactly. You had quickly lost count of the days and never cared enough to ask. You had not seen any coworkers at all ever since you moved rooms but you honestly could barely care less. The last time you had crossed paths with one, it was a woman, one of those fanatics, she had whispered warnings to you. Warnings about the Doctor and his weird habits. You had half a mind to agree with her that, yes, the man had the oddest habits indeed, but you had mentally clocked out once she had started to mention his unstoppable desire to peel off the first layers of fat his victims carried under their skin as, according to her, that was what had granted him immortality. After that revelation you figured that you did not care if you would never come across any of your coworkers ever again. You understood why they were thrown off by their superior. Of course you did, you had spent most of your time with him by now, he was odd for sure.  But you would never get used to their spooky tales about his person. Safe to say, you would gladly live without them. 

The more you grew accustomed to your new life, the more satisfaction he experienced. He enjoyed watching you settle into your new life and he enjoyed your willingness to solve whatever problem he threw your way. Of course he would have to be careful not to overstep the line of using your talents to his advantage but weirdly enough he didn’t feel the need to do so. Your presence made him feel pleased enough as it was. To his surprise, he found that he did not want to jinx that. He liked having you close, without having to use an ounce of force for once. 

You stayed out of your own will and he found peace in that. 

❦

It had been months since he had recruited you into his close vicinity and he hadn’t regretted it once. He found that you were reliable, smart and talented with your hands. One time, it had been a few days ago, he had watched, mask placed on his features, as you carefully knitted another marionettes' limbs together. He found the way you moved your delicate fingers satisfying to watch. When you were done with your stitches he had carefully taken your hand in his own and moved it closer to his face as he inspected it. “Close enough”. He didn’t mean to say it out loud but he figured it didn’t matter. One look at you let him know that you were so distracted by his action, you clearly did not care about anything beyond that. He gave a sly grin as an answer to your awestruck expression. Then he placed a delicate kiss on your fingers before letting go of your hand. He proceeded to not waste more time on more unnecessary gestures and focused on inspecting the marionette instead. You had done excellent work on the limbs, much as he had expected. “Wait in my office” he mumbled the order absent mindedly while he was gazing down at the doll. He watched you leave through the corner of his eyes. Then, when you had finally closed the door of his lab, he picked up the marionette and carried it to a closet that he had kept locked for no one but him to see.

He opened it and placed the marionette next to the other few that had been in there. He hadn’t perfected any of them yet but he knew he was getting closer. Of course, the goal had initially been for him to reach higher levels of humanity but after he had lost all his process he felt inclined to be bored at the thought of doing it all over again with the exact same recipe to follow. But replicating someone else, well you, now that sounded interesting. Analyzing you had been a fun activity for him over the past weeks. You had many good qualities, good morals and a cute face. Which personally he did not care for but it did cross his mind once, so he figured that would be a popular opinion among others as well. Overall he felt that your presence, may it be through more individuals, would not cause as much terror as his own always had. 

He closed the closet and locked it tight. Then he took off his mask and stepped towards the door to his office. He had already found out so much about the way you answered and thought about things, yet he felt inclined to find out even more. 

You had been standing in his office for a minute or two. It bored you but recently you had found that most things did. After the minutes had passed the door opened and the Doctor came walking in, carrying a sense of purpose in his steps. The door closed easily behind him as he disregarded his mask on a nearby shelf, only for him to step towards you. You didn’t have much time to formulate any coherent thoughts or figure out a reaction to anything, as he had simply waltzed over, cupped your face in his hands and proceeded to place a calculated kiss on your lips. 

Ever since that day, all the barriers of distance that may have stood between you two before were gone. Instead you had only spent more time at his side now and he had welcomed that change with a multitude of questions to ask you. Of course, sometimes he still digressed into monologues of his own, but he had found a liking in listening to your thought out answers and views as well. It surprised you but you didn’t mind. The only struggle you found with that had been the lack of stories you had in mind whenever you thought to answer with something from your life. Most of the stories you knew were about him after all and even those you barely remembered.

He seemed pleased with you either way though, so you figured it didn't really matter. 

And with that, unbeknownst to you, he had found the perfect subject for his studies. You on the other hand had found solace in your work and his presence now, never wasting a thought on anything that didn't have anything to do with your new routine. 

❦ - le fin

I’m thinking their voicelines about each other would be among the lines of like

You about him:

“The Doctor? Oh *ahem*, yes I would consider him a trustworthy companion. Don’t give other peoples’ comments about him much thought. He’s pretty normal, all things considered. I would know, I’ve worked with him for a while now. Anyway, I should take my leave now. Good luck. What?.. Oh no, i can't stay, I'm really busy. I'm sorry. See you”

Him about you:

“Yes, they have been much help to me over the past few years….What? You want to see them? They're busy, try again another time… A message?....No, you can’t take them with you. Find someone else to do your work for you. Now leave.” 

[nuzipilled]

I really love your human au designs (as an ugly man I must stay silent on how much I love J she's so fuckfkfnc pretty)

I do have some questions about the B-team and the rest of the au hahaha

Are Thad, Doll and Lizzy a friend group or are they mostly separate?

Is there a plan on what Khan, Nori, Yeva and Alice up to? Personally I'd love to hear your ideas on their 'regular' counterparts (Khan's definitely doing home security or door manufacturing)

Is the Jessa gonna ever be real...

Who in the gang can actually drive and what car (my vehicle autism wouldn't let me not ask this question)

Will we ever see some Intern Mitchell representation in the au?? He's the best character in the show after all (/j)

oh gosh J is probably my fav out of all of them—(I may be biased) I just had the most fun drawing her. as for the B team, they’re not exactly a group but doll and lizzy are friends with eachother and make it everyone elses problem.

Khan, Nori, Yeva and Alice are all in this au, Yeva is Nori’s sister which makes Doll her cousin. We dont focus too too much on them but there will be a few (mostly awkward) interactions courtesy of three traumatized veterans, their autistic, creepy gremlin of a housemate/sister, and their equally as autistic doctor who’s methods are…hippocraticatically questionable that their strange kids bring home like a box of stray kittens. I havent figured out Yeva, Nori or Alice but Khan is definitely in some kind of engineering/security company.

JESSA IS REAL and the one thing i will be saying about it is that nuzi is NOT the painful awful torturous frustratingly oblivious slowburn ship of this au. Tessa is STUPID. J is GAY. we will leave it at that

Tessa can drive. She has a shitty toyota corolla she paid more money to ship over to the states from AUS than on a first class ticket or a rental car. Its name is Bertie, she has no AC, shocks, or a working left back door and everyone HATES it because it is their main source of transportation. V is capable of driving but does not own a car. N and J are both unfit to drive for different reasons but both as a result of post traumatic stress.

As for mitchell, i dont know! it would be cute to have him in here somewhere, if only i could find a way to work him in…

[travalerray]

please tell me about your chengxian timetravel au

[The Grandmaster of Accidental Time Travel]

Omg, thank you for the ask!!

Okay so. Basically, the AU starts from Jin Guangyao's stab being very fatal and Jiang Cheng dying and returning to when he was ten years old.

Most of his concentration is focused on a) stopping Wei Wuxian b) stopping Wei Wuxian c) stopping Wei Wuxian— you get the idea. Except we all have read the novel and know that Wei Wuxian is real bad at listening to Jiang Cheng. Or anyone really.

So shenanigans follow. Except due to certain things (Jiang Cheng's knowledge of future events, things getting shifted by a little bit, a shift in attitude and a certain case of fever etc etc), things keep getting shifted. Lan Qiren is called to Qinghe earlier, they discover the skeleton of Qingfeng-jun's teacher, fight the Waterborne Abyss muuuuch earlier and somehow also manage to prevent Wei Wuxian from getting sent back to Yunmeng. How? Well, Jiang Cheng kinda gets in the middle of the fight, because he is trying. A little. To avoid. Jin Zixuan fucking dying. And he may or may not have gotten a horrible reaction from the fight. The reaction also may or may not have been exaggerated due to certain reasons.

The engagement is still dissolved. by a letter. All hail the greatest father of all time, Jiang Fengmian.

Now, in the background what did happen is. Lan Wangji manages to develop an unfortunate one sided crush on Jiang Cheng. Lan Xichen thinks it's hilarious and pairs them up for a night hunt. It goes horribly, important things are revealed and Wei Wuxian finally gets to the gay station without reading the name of the station. Everyone suffers.

the real reason for the time travel is a fuzzy thing I have in mind which involves taking a certain element from 2ha (Three Forbidden Techniques) and fusing it with the ghost path invented by Wei Wuxian. I am thinking more specifically that the creature ZhanCheng do encounter on their unfortunate night hunt could give a nod to the two souls residing in Jiang Cheng's body (while he keeps having strange dreams that shouldn't belong to him. Now, I personally think that the idea of some of Wei Wuxian's tendencies to be transmitted onto Jiang Cheng via golden core exchange fucks heavily but like. What if they literally ate each other. What if I didn't know where I began and you ended. What if separating you from me would kill me. What if you doomed us both. What if—) which would fuck him over more. I mean, there's still Wen Qing left who is also trying to change the past to save her side of people, but that would involve another fiasco. Anyways

Jiang Cheng being an actually good sect leader trying to convince his father (who reportedly is like That™) that a war is coming is going to be horrendous. On top of which, Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Yanli are 100% convinced that the fever knocked Jiang Cheng silly in the head and made him worse with auditory problems, while Jiang Cheng is going, "I am acting like a normal 16 year old. Which is totally a normal and possible thing to want to achieve". Wei Wuxian himself isn't normal but even he thinks Jiang Cheng's habits are a little insane at times. Like. Diving into the lake for five hours at a time (tfw you used to cry in the lake while helping people dig out your family relics but can't tell your still alive family that lest they bring every single doctor in the jianghu to Lotus Pier AGAIN). Or other such things. I do think he might be able to convince Yu Ziyuan faster than Jiang Fengmian if he tried hard enough. But that's after the Qishan Wen Conference and after he finally says fuck it and invents evidence to get Yunmeng Jiang moving and contemplates the best way to alert the Gusu Lan Sect about the burning.

Since this is a slowburn, Chengxian do not kiss properly until like the end of the war preparations (before which Jiang Cheng strangles Meng Yao, panics, runs off, has a breakdown, swallows a whole vat of soup, cries and curses random things). Since this is also a slowburn the POV shifting is funny because it is:

JC: A war is coming. I need to make sure people do not die and Wei Wuxian does not give me a golden core and become a demonic cultivator. That's all I want, really, the fact that he's probably going to end up with some other guy is definitely not heartbreaking—

WWX: *trying hard to be normal* Shidi looks hot when talking about array formations. Did talking to Zewu-jun turn me into a cutsleeve.

anyways.

Since Jiang Cheng had managed to gain the trust of Gusu Lan Sect, the Cloud Recesses is mostly saved, which means Qingfeng-jun leads the war effort this time. Which means that the time travel plot which actually had been resting on the back burner kicks up since his backstory is very much connected to the whole schtick going on. Which also means that we get to see Yu Ziyuan yelling people's ears off as per usual, but this time it's not Wei Wuxian.

I do think about the reveal though. since in the original world, Wei Wuxian is dead for the second time and has given up his soul in trying to bring Jiang Cheng back. When Jiang Cheng figures out the whole situation, things are going to Not Go Well. Because that's exactly what he had been trying to prevent! Why can't they ever be happy without one of them being dead like that! What do you mean happiness can't be found without being writ in blood!

.......Wei Wuxian is going to have a stroke learning this.

[vellichorom]

favorite ships for the new year?

looks around. what, just generally? 👀 ouue,,, how does one go about doing that so casually,

WELL,, let's see now,

GoreGuts ( The Narrator x OC; The Stanley Parable ) of course; i can't begin to describe in words what this ship has done to me over the course of the 3-ish years it's existed, but i'll have you know it's the most devastating & visceral thing i've ever seen & one of the most invested i have ever been in regards to a ship ( that you know about (( when i tell you about all the crossover ships i've formed in rp with my friends & all the lore that comes with that you will keel over, )) )

NanaIwa ( Shuu x Kazuaki; Hatoful Boyfriend ) my more recent addiction, the DEFINITION of " toxic yaoi "; to forcibly become a man's EVERYTHING after he ripped what fragments of happiness you had right out of your hands,, to be stripped of all your influence & might by a victim you didn't think twice about & be reduced to his very own patient; how ironic for a doctor fallen from grace... ouhhh my god. the game's final ending will make You a believer. i mean- what i just described doesn't explicitly happen but i don't think it's that far of a stretch to assume Either. of course, i could be insane;

KingShuu ( Shuu x The King; Hatoful Boyfriend: Holiday Star ) this one's hard to explain without full context but just know it involves two dead guys & the co-dependency that comes with being the Only two dead guys in a separated section of the afterlife. one of them was coerced into suicide & went on to Make this separated section of the afterlife & the other was passively suicidal to begin with & got dragged Into this afterlife by the other prematurely & just let himself go. there's also a bit of " the royal dates one of his would-be servants " going on except the king's a pussy & the would-be servant could kill him twice, so it's really just strange & gross & unusual in there. once again a ship built off of co-dependency because there Is no one else for either of them,

Godiance ( Godseeker x The Radiance; Hollow Knight ) who doesn't love a bit of god x devout, eh? godiance FEELS right, with the godseeker & her tribe's undying adoration & worship fueling the radiance's EXISTENCE & both of them needing the other to survive ( albeit in different ways ),,, oh- more co-dependency, t'would seem i'm a sucker for that, there's also something so Damning about how the godseeker's worship toward the radiance directly perpetuates the plague of hallownest but that's Probably not a concern to her / a blessing in her eyes & that just makes me downright insane, especially considering the endings that involve godseeker - feeling vaguely like a representation of them both going down & Needing to, as a pair, to wipe the radiance & her plague from existence, godseeker ( & by association, her girlfriend ) makes me upset did you know that,

Godseeker x The White Lady/Midwife/Flukemarm/Herrah - any of the other women in hollow knight unironically, i assure you there's an ungodly amount of potential in godseeker, the devout directly attuned with the gods, interacting with anyone from the Gods Themselves to Important Figureheads Linked to The Gods to even the random villagers around dirtmouth,, & they all just so happen to be lovely bug women 😳 please invite me to go on at length another day,

Sagimita ( The Ultimate Imposter x Ryouta Mitarai; Danganronpa ) OH LOOK MORE CO-DEPENDENCY; a young man who desires to abandon his identity in order to work himself to death in peace & another who desires to steal others' identities just to feel like they exist - their desires were one in the same. & then they sort of got tangled together as the imposter gave too much of a damn about ryouta's wellbeing & now they're situationshipping me into a FUCKING GRAVE. they just introduce a REALLY interesting dynamic to me, & invite some Delicious slowburn as the anti-social animator slowly lets the imposter into his heart against his will.... yum, & put mikan in there for some Extra spice,

SagiKiyo ( The Ultimate Imposter x Korekiyo Shinguji; Danganronpa ) i don't even have good reasons to ship these two but i Do because they are my favorite characters & this is simply what happens,

FujiGishi / Chigishi ( The Ultimate Imposter x Chihiro Fujisaki; Danganronpa ) issues with identity & gender identity,,, finding solidarity in another who deals with similar problems.... size difference....... i'm running out of steam here but it's actually a dynamic i'd Really like to explore someday,

FowlPlay / ChickenDinner ( The Narrator x Shuu Iwamine / Rosemary Baker x Shuu Iwamine (( or polycule it )) ) no i don't know either. indulgences. you'd be surprised how well i think it could work. THIS ONE I JUST TURN OVER IN MY BRAIN SOMETIMES

UM YEAH. I SHIP A LOT OF THINGS & not a lot of things at the same time,,, but feel free to come back & ask for more if so you are that intrigued.... if i listed all of them Ever here we would be here for decades, SO TAKE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED & CONSIDER THESE SHIPS AS NEW BRAINROTTING MATERIAL FOR YOUR NEW YEAR,

& thank you for asking!

[starlitangels]

Lol i know what it like being picky with my asmr. Theres just somethings a cant stand. Its not just the voice, its the sound effects, atmosphere and who someone can build a room without being blunt. Okay bare with me, these are all the series I've collected over the years and its ALOT(these are all series but i can suggest more oneshots) Here the list

-Rescued From Aliens |KimCarter| (More about roleplay with some storyline. Also alot of VA channels collaborated for this one. Alot of sound effects but can be overwelming with some viewers. Im pretty sure this story is continuing)

-Gator Boys |Obsidian Lantern| (In siren son's universe also featuring as a character. Good amount of storyline without it making you confused. Somewhat slowburn without the whole story being overly romantic. Turns listener human and the character halfbloods. Also okay sound effects. Story is still continuing but it takes him a long time to update this series)

-Demon Roommate |Yuurivoice| (More romantic roleplay with no real storyline, more like a bunch on oneshots with you two growing closer. Cute and simple with a great voice)

-Bittersweet |Yuurivoice| (A personal favorite series with GREAT storyline containing secrets and some lore without being confusing. Romantic, angst, forgiveness with a twink thrown in there for goodluck. Series is continuing but its kinda at a standstill)

-Daughter of Khan |Joseph Holloway| (platonic roleplay of sherekhan and his daughter growing up. Good storyline with great soundeffects without being overwelming. No real lore but still good RP. I highly suggest checking out his other works. Season 2 is coming out)

-The Theif's Tale |Nomads tales & Audios| (Decent story with good sound effects. Two thiefs who do heists together realize their old partner may not be as they seem)

-The City Wolf and the Country Lamb |Nomads tales & Audios| (Series that helped me through covid. Decent story with decent acting from a small handful of other creators. Romantic story with themes of little angst and some betrayal. One of the detective ones i like with more episodes on the way)

-The New Jersey Rats |Escaped Audios| (I LOVE this series! Mafia themed without all the overused sterotypes of other roleplay. Good story with good sound effects Series is at a end but theres a video of before this series which is also pretty good.)

-Strange lands, Stranger people |Hollow_VA| (More asmr that the rest of these series but still good storyline. Theres more episodes but hes not the best at making playlists. One of my first series i liked. About a mage escaping from their town but needs a guide through the dessert to meet who they're looking for, Luckily Jackle is there to charm his way. Im pretty sure he stopped this series without actually announcing it.)

-Daisy |Audio by Dominic| (Mafia x florist listener. Some mafia sterotypes but with a great spin. Decent story with good sound effects. Series is ongoing)

-Time Traveler Husband |Exhibit A| (My absolute first series i loved. Decent storyline with decent effects. Doctor who inspired romantic themes with a tad of angst. Series is ended)

-Wolf Falls for Red RiddingHood |Allegretto| (Smal series but still decent. Alot more romantic than the others but a cute story)

WOO i think thats all the series that comes to mind after about 4 years of liking roleplay audios. Tell me if you like any of them!! ^^

Well! Considering I've already seen a good chunk of these reminds me that I've been lingering on the Audio RP scene for... a long time. Like, Hollow_ was one of my first Audio RP channels back when I was in uni. I first listened to Strange Lands, Stranger People like 5 years ago or something? (I graduated 4.25 years ago-ish so... I got into Hollow_ like 6 years ago? Hotel Sanguine was actually one of my favorites of his. Which means I've been listening to SalemAudio for like ~7 and he was I think the first proper Audio RP channel I listened to back when he was still "unasmr")

Let's see, of these, I've seen Rescued from Aliens (though I was unaware it was ongoing. I'll have to check out the rest! I was really excited for the huge collab that was the first one though!), Gator Boys (Looove Obsidian Lantern's sense of humor and creative style), bits of both Yuurivoice series (I have a hard time keeping track of his stuff), both Nomad ones because Nomad is one of my absolute favorite storytellers, New Jersey Rats (Escaped is a chaos gremlin here and I'm here for it), and Strange Lands, Stranger People (as mentioned above)!

I'll see about poking my nose into the other ones and see if I like anything. I've heard one or two Joseph Holloway audios but never followed it closely.

I'm really interested in those last two! Audios By Dominic's voice never quite vibed with me but we'll see if I can give it a shot.

Thanks for the reccs!

[katy-kt-katie]

For FicTober, I’ve been writing a chaptered story. I’d say it’s 50% slowburn hallmark movie and 50% smut.smut.smut. I used Twitter polls to vote on the initial story concept and some of the story arcs. Check it out. 29 chapters are complete on AO3- Get a chapter 1 and 2 sneak peek below and read the rest: HERE.

The Toy

Mulder and Scully take on a case involving strange deaths during sex.

Chapter 1:

Religious people often talk about critical situations being the work of God or the Devil. I’m not a religious man, but as I sit in this moment, I have these same thoughts. How on earth did I get here? How on Earth am I going to move forward from this?

Mmmmm.

She’s moaning. Scully is moaning now, just feet away from me, as she prepares to orgasm—not just orgasm, but to have the best orgasm of your life, according to the readers of Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Don’t look, just listen, okay…it would be awkward if you saw me…you know.

That’s what she’d said earlier; the ground rules she determined made her feel safe and okay with this experiment. But I still see her—as I lay back and close my eyes, my imagination fills in all the blanks. Scully in her silk robe, lying on her back. The robe has fallen open, and she’s pinching her nipple with one hand while her other hand is between her legs, bringing herself pleasure. She wiggles and flexes, her face blushed, and her eyes closed.

But in reality, I can't see any of that. I’m sitting on her couch in the dark with my back to her as she’s chasing that orgasm in her bed. The door is cracked so that I can hear her. And what’s my role in all of this? I’m monitoring her for safety, ensuring that what befell the others doesn’t happen to her. Mulder, you're the only one I trust... I’ll make some noises so that you know I’m still okay, she had said when we agreed to this…situation. And the noises are driving me wild.

Oh my god, oh my god, she whines in the distance.

So it is God then, I think, and maybe it’s the Devil who is responsible for my hard and hot cock demanding attention in my jeans.

Chapter 2:

ONE WEEK EARLIER

I duck as the pencil I’d thrown at the ceiling plummets back toward my eyeball.

“One of these days, you’re going to maim yourself, Mulder,” a familiar voice says. I snap my gaze to the door to see Scully reporting to work. She brushes some snow from her coat and hangs it on the hook before adjusting her high-heeled shoes and cracking her neck on her way to the desk.

“In that case, I look forward to the very thorough and diligent care of my personal doctor,” I wink at her. Flirting…that’s what I'm doing. It’s what I’ve always done for years with Scully.

Since we’d kissed at New Year’s, our flirty banter feels a little different to me, but I guess not to her—she’d said she enjoyed kissing me, but it couldn’t happen again. The next day, it was as if the kiss had never happened.

“If you came under my care, I’m sure a colonoscopy would be in order,” she teases.

I shake my head and grin as I grab four files and toss them across the desk toward her.

“What do we have?” she asks, immediately transforming into Special Agent mode, flipping through the top case file.

“Four deaths, spread across the Pacific Northwest. All women—various ages—all died of heart attacks unexpectedly without pre-existing conditions.”

“Hmm,” she says as she flips through the file. She is both meticulous and swift when processing information, a true pinnacle of efficiency. “Mulder heart attacks are unfortunately quite common in women.”

I throw another pencil at the ceiling as I wait for her to catch the common link, the countdown playing in my brain… three, two…one —

“Wait,” she demands. “The heart attacks all occurred during the act of sexual intercourse?”

“Yep.”

“Well, that is rather odd. But, still, about one-tenth of one percent of people die during consensual sex,” I notice her cheeks blushing now, her gaze dropping, and her hands fidgeting. Her body shows signs of nervousness as she talks to me about this, but her words are one hundred percent Dana Scully, MD. “Sex can be very strenuous.”

I chuckle, leaning back in my chair and propping my feet on the desk. “Dr. Scully, how many of those one-tenth of one percent of people dying during sex would be women with no pre-existing cardiac conditions?”

“Well,” she stalls. “I agree. It is an anomaly.”

“The computer picked it up,” I say, grabbing the files back from where she’d laid them down.

“Computer?” she asks.

“You know, the new TI-6969 the boys have down in the lab with the profiling algorithm. It looks for connections in seemingly unconnected cases. And it hit on this.”

She rolls her eyes and scoffs. Oh, how I love bantering with this woman.

“So I’m assuming we are heading to the Pacific Northwest, Mulder?”

“Plane leaves at eleven.”

READ ALL 29 CHAPTERS: HERE

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2023

[bellaxgiornata]

Below the cut is an unedited and very rough excerpt from chapter one of yet another side project I'm currently working on. It is a Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader story where Reader can travel the multiverse and is being hunted because of that ability. It is tentatively titled Keep Coming Back to You. There's also a world of intelligent zombies Reader gets pulled into whenever she really panics which she calls Nightmare 1. In the story, she starts out meeting college Matt and Foggy but because of her ability and her need to hide, she obviously disappears often. So she eventually meets a slightly older Matt (season 1?) as time passes. And this story will be an angsty slowburn after some initial romance (all thanks to you Elektra).

This is a very, very rough concept I'm still working on which will also probably involve Doctor Strange at some point.  And I'm going to say it's 18+ for some smut (because we all know I write smut) and violence/gore (I mean...there's zombies). Just curious who is even interested before I invest too much time in this one.

Anyway, below the cut is a raw snippet from the middle of chapter one!

_________

"You can't hide forever, girl," they called out again. 

You tried to ignore them, your eyes searching for the thread that you had always felt a slight draw towards, though lately it was getting harder and harder to find through the multitudes of universes. Home–that thread meant Home to you. Or at least lately it had become something like Home. You figured you’d jump there and then quickly find somewhere else to jump to lose them for good for a while.

"The others couldn't hide from me either," they told you, their voice closer. 

Their words caused you to pause, momentarily distracted as the threads glittered before you, varying shades of colors and lights softly reflecting along your jeans. 

"You’re not the only one, Serena," they continued, smug satisfaction in their tone. "And I know that's not your real name, girl."

Your head snapped to your left. They were standing at the bottom of the playset’s slide now, staring right at you through the dark with a menacing smile. The teeth of the young man they were currently possessing flashed at you like a warning. A terrified shiver ran down your spine at the sight.

"I always get them eventually," they called up to you. "Just like I'll get you."

Ice cold fear shot its way through your veins. Before you could control it, something was tugging sharply at your body. That horrifyingly familiar feel of cold hands gripping your shoulders and yanking you forcefully backwards hit you hard. 

And then you were falling. 

Your stomach felt like it was flying up into your throat, your organs shifting and squeezing unpleasantly inside of you as you were pulled–the second worst possible thing that could have happened to you in that moment. 

Just as fast as it had started the sensation stopped. You landed hard on your knees along cracked pavement, wincing in pain at the rough drop. Your hands instinctively flew forward, scratching roughly along the broken cement as you tried to steady yourself on all fours. Panting hard, you looked up and surveyed your surroundings while hoping against all hope you weren’t where you thought you were. But your heart fell to the demolished road beside you the moment you took in the sight of the plant life overtaking the decrepit houses around you. Eyes closing, you tried to fight back the sting of tears.

Not here again. 

A fresh wave of panic rolled through you as you quickly and quietly rose to your feet. It had been awhile since you’d been to this world, but you remembered exactly what you needed to do. You needed to be silent. You needed to remain calm. And you needed to get the fuck out of here as fast as you possibly could. Before one of those things found you. You just needed a second to catch your breath and scan your surroundings to make sure you were safe and alone. Then you would find a safe universe and jump again.

That's it, you told yourself. Just calm down. I'll get out of here, I always do. Just need to stay calm.

You tried to take a steady breath, keeping your eyes open while you scanned the area around you. Carefully you expelled the breath as gently as you could, your eyes taking in the sight of the apocalyptic neighborhood. There was a gaping hole in the roof of the house just in front of you, the front door entirely missing. Both houses beside it had broken windows and ivy snaking its way up the front of them. The exterior paint had long since faded and the mailboxes out front were rusted and tipped to the side. But at least you didn't see any movement. As you observed your surroundings, you kept an ear out and listened to every single noise around you. For now, the soft whistle of wind through the copse of trees nearby was thankfully all you could hear. Everything else was quiet.

Good. Silence was good here. Silence met one of those things weren't about to jump out and try to savagely rip you to shreds and eat you like you were their last meal.

Or infect you.

Fuck, I hate this place.

Cautiously you made your way through the tall grass as it brushed against your jeans, the soft swish of it hitting your ears. The overcast light from the sun sneaking through the cloud cover overhead was a sharp contrast to the dark night you'd just been running through moments ago. 

Traveling through worlds was incredibly strange. It could be broad daylight in one place, but then you could jump and end up somewhere where it was pitch black seconds later. Same with the weather–it could be springtime somewhere, with birds chirping and flowers blooming, and then another moment you were landing in three feet of freezing cold snow in a pair of shorts. 

Your concept of time was entirely fucked at this point.

Moving on the front of your feet, you tried to make as little sound as possible as you walked. It was difficult to catch your breath, trying in vain to keep your labored breathing steady and quiet after that chase you’d barely escaped. You just wanted to get your back against something solid and search the threads for a universe that felt safe to jump to. That was your focus right now.

You moved slowly, careful to be as soundless as you could and grimacing at the stains of old blood you saw splattered along the panels of the house as you walked. You crept your way gradually around to the side of the house, glad that it was windowless. Very carefully you turned, stepping backwards until your back hit the wall. At least nothing could sneak up behind you while you worked now.

With a sharp exhale through your nose you tried to focus on the space before you yet again. Gradually the threads of multiple universes appeared, shimmering in the overcast light of the day. This time there was a rush of blues and purples that came forward. You squinted, reaching two fingers tentatively out and trying to get a feel for a few threads of light. 

Maybe you needed to find somewhere new. Somewhere that they wouldn't easily think to find you. But you hated finding new worlds. You never knew what you would be walking into every time you jumped. Though usually if you trusted your instincts you would end up in a world similar to your Home. Right now that's what you needed to find.

A noise came from not too far away, cutting through the silence. You froze instantly at the sound, your fingers holding onto a thread as your eyes darted to the side. And then the jarring, guttural, screeching noise that plagued your nightmares rang out through the trees nearby. The hair along your arms instantly rose, a prickling feeling growing at the base of your skull.

Your jaw clenched, your heart rate rising again. Time was up. You needed to get out of here now. You didn't need to encounter one of those again. You had nothing to fight it with and you sure as shit wouldn't manage to outrun it. 

As the terrifying, rasping growl cut through the air around you yet again, you knew exactly what that sound meant from the time you’d spent here before. It was searching, probably having caught onto the fresh scent of the blood on your scraped hands. But before you could pull the thread of light between your fingers and jump, it disappeared. All of the colorful lights before you suddenly vanished.

"Shit," you whispered. 

That loud, rasping roar reverberated through the air again and shot another spike of fear and adrenaline through you. 

It had gotten closer. 

As you turned, trying to remain calm, you prepared to hide in the house behind you. But that’s when you heard it. Something like a high-pitched shriek in response. There was a second one. And they were communicating with each other. You knew what that sound meant.

They knew something was here.

[coraciias]

CHARACTER ⸺ BAHAR ; the wingweaver heretic , and the sullen matriarch // ship tag ⊹ character tag.

❝ o, but look here now, this is just absurd, he way our famous poets talk of girls as weak and winsome, weak? is this a word to use of those who, with the shake of curls and with the triumph of a modest glance, can lead the very gods a merry dance? ❞ — BATRHARI.

01 ⸺ moodboards. yuan and bahar

02 ⸺ doodles. character sheet ノ pillowtalk ノ a touch ノ warmth ( with you )

03 ⸺ writings.

tropes ( in canon ). slowburn ⊹ mutual pining ⊹ saving each other's life ⊹ stuck in a prison cell together ( hahahaha ) ⊹ she fell first, he fell harder ⊹ hurt / comfort ⊹ forbidden romances ??? ⊹ redemption and second chances ⊹ two old, hurt people vibing ⊹ warrior x healer ⊹ warrior x healer but the healer WILL throw hands ⊹ stranger in a strange land ⊹ healing ⊹ can take tragic turns ⊹ size difference.

tropes ( modern au ). slowburn ⊹ mutual pining ⊹ retired ceo yuan x doctor bahar ⊹ something ripped out of a sardonic british drama ⊹ she fell first, he fell harder ⊹ hurt / comfort ⊹ so much banter ⊹ sitting in the car and sharing food ⊹ domesticity!!!! AND STICKY NOTES!!!! ⊹ tease x easily flustered ⊹ they're both over their thirties and they're still acting like teenagers get them a therapist ⊹ size difference.

playlist. set me free ( floruit show ) ⊹ darling ( usha uthup ) ⊹ shrike ( hozier ) ⊹ technicolor beat ( the oh hellos ) ⊹ masakali ( mohit chauhan ).

[prpfz]

❤️‍🩹| I'm looking for an 18+ advanced lit+ roleplay partner who enjoys themes of hurt with/without comfort, unhealthy dynamics, and more. I would preferably play (B), and I prefer MxM. I would like to find people with interesting and unique characters instead of the typical stock archetypes.

This is rather a rather dark rp. I have very few to no limits with the hope that I can find someone similar, but I'm always happy to accomodate! Also, please, please be active. I'm not asking for rapid fire, but I don't wish to wait weeks inbetween responses.

No drawn or anime fcs please.

Love by Proxy | 🩹❤️ ( MxM, slowburn )

( A ) becomes recently disabled or incapacitated. They are expected to make a full recovery if they follow their medical treatment, including therapy, medication, and rehabilitation.

Though this is temporary, their eyes are opened to the many struggles other experience. They meet many people in not only physical but mental therapy, populating their lives with a loving group.

One day they find themselves face to face with (B). (B) was an otherwise unassuming neighbor, the two not even really speaking aside from the typical plesantries. Once (A)'s situation becomes apparent to (B) they suddenly become extremely interested, helping all the time and checking in on (A) constantly. Soon they are enjoying meals, time, and eachother's company together.

(A)'s recovery date comes and goes, and doctors are unsure of why they have made little to no progress. Members of their support group are concerned when they stop showing up. (A) is having so much fun with (B) that they constantly forget the time.. and day.. and where they are? Their prescriptions never seem to run out, and they don't even have to lift a finger.. much to their detriment.

Fevers, headaches, mystery aches and pains with bruises and rashes that cannot be explained. (B) is with them through it all. Their condition seems to be worsening, but why? Everything seems to hurt (A). Loud noises, the sun, humidity, tap water, electricity.. Soon they are essentially trapped inside of their home with nowhere to go, (B) increasingly protective over them.

Over the course of time they find themselves slowly being consumed by (B). Their time, their things, their humanity. They can't do things without a curfew. They can't go to therapy anymore. Their list of medications are piling up. (A) isn't even allowed to even fetch their own water for fear it would be over a strangely specific ounce and Ph balance. Will (A) escape all of this and recover, or will they simply lay down and accept it?

Kink friendly, ooc talk appreciated, love to chat, plot and make art! :)

give a like and anon will get back to you

[kikyoupdates]

Heartbreaker ⭑˚💔⭑ 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ

bnha x f!reader

reverse harem, isekai, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

You awaken one day with virtually no memories. The only thing guiding you is some strange system that likes to dictate your every move, and for some reason, it insists that you make certain people fall in love with you. Desperate for answers, you decide to go along with its demands. After all, how hard can it be?

previous | story masterlist | next

You didn't know what had happened to you, but you needed to get to the bottom of things—one way or another.  

[“𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠?”]

“To the police,” you gritted out. “I should have done this in the first place. Even though I’ve lost my memories, surely someone will be able to help me. Or at the very least, they can admit me to a hospital so that I can be examined by a doctor. You claim I have no family, but there must still be some sort of documentation for them to go off. I’m confused, and really scared, and I don’t know what the hell you’re on about, making people fall in love with me or whatever. I thought you could help me, but it doesn’t seem like you’re willing.”  

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭.”] 

“No offense, but I’m done listening to you. All you’ve done is made me more confused. I need someone who will actually help.”  

You didn’t know where exactly the nearest police station was, but you figured you could find your way by asking around.  

Except you apparently weren’t permitted even that much.  

“Ugh!” 

Your head was hurting again, except easily ten times worse than before. It was so bad that you ended up crumpling to the ground in a fetal position, pressing your hands against the sides of your head and biting back tears.  

The system clearly wasn’t happy.  

[“𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐧𝐨. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝. 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐈𝐭’𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧; 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝. 𝐍𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”]

Fucking hell. You gritted your teeth and wiped at your damp eyes. This system really was a major pain in your ass. It expected you to do their bidding without even questioning anything. How could they even be sure that your memories would come back if you completed these so-called tasks? If anything, they were probably using your amnesia to their advantage. There was no guarantee that your memories would return even if you went along with their demands.  

“Please let me go,” you begged. “All I want is to remember. That’s all. I don’t want to be your puppet and make people fall for me or whatever else. Is that too much to ask?”  

There was a lengthy pause, and when you heard the next ping, the edges of the projection seemed to have turned a reddish color. The color of anger.  

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧. 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞. 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.”]

Your face turned pale. “What? What does that mean? Hey! What are you trying to say—”  

Once again, your world was plunged into darkness.

You couldn’t tell if it had been minutes, hours, or days. When faced with a vast expense of nothing, your sense of time was understandably warped.

Just like before, you couldn’t move a muscle. All you could do was talk, and for a while you did exactly that—cried out into the darkness begging to be released, begging for the system to let you out. But you didn’t receive a response. They were deliberately ignoring you, and you guessed that placing you back here was meant to be some sort of punishment. 

A very cruel punishment, for that matter. 

You stopped struggling after realizing that it was futile. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you sobbed quietly, but no one came to help you. In here, you were completely and utterly alone.  

[“𝐒𝐨. 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭?”]

The system was talking to you again. You blinked wearily, vision partly blurry from all the tears stinging your eyes. By now, it was undeniably clear that they weren’t an ally. They were your own personal tormentor. They could lock you up inside this endless void for as long as they wished; torture your mind for all of eternity, if they so desired.  

After two instances of this sensation, you decided that you never wanted to be trapped in here again. You’d already had enough. If cooperating with the system was the only way to avoid such a thing and possibly regain your memories, then it looked like you didn’t have much of a choice.  

“Alright,” you said weakly. “I’m just... tired. All I wanted was for things to make sense. But I’ll listen now. I promise I’ll listen, so please don’t lock me up in here again. It’s horrifying. Please.”

[“𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧, 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.”]

They had already proven to be incredibly untrustworthy, so you didn’t want to put complete faith in their words, but it didn’t seem like there was any other option. You just hoped that as suspicious as they were, they weren’t also a liar.  

“Can I go back now? I want to get out of here. I can’t take it anymore.”  

[“𝐎𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞. 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞.”]

When you opened your eyes, you were back in the exact same place as before. It didn’t look like anything had changed since you’d left. Based on the sun and sky overhead, you doubted much time had passed either. Did time flow differently inside that isolated space when compared to the real world?

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮��𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.”]

Honestly, you weren’t sure whether or not to be relieved. On the plus side, it sounded like there were no consequences to being pulled into that strange void. Your real body wasn’t vulnerable in the process of doing so. But on the other hand, that meant there was no limit to how long the system could keep you there.

You really could be trapped for eternity, and the thought was so horrifying that it made your entire body tremble.  

Like before, a projection of a map appeared before your eyes.  

[“𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐩. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠.”]

You definitely needed a proper break, not a time-out inside some lifeless prison. The thought of being able to sit back and kick your feet up was certainly appealing. It wouldn’t solve all of your problems, not by any means, but at least it was a start. 

After following the map for a little while, you arrived at your destination. Thankfully, it hadn’t taken very long to get there. You supposed the system had purposely brought you to an area near your home.  

You were standing in front of a house. It was on the smaller side, but then again, you were only one person, so you doubted you’d be in need of much space.  

“How do I, um... get in?” you asked.  

[“𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐚 𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭. 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭.”]

What the... how long has that been in there?  

You decided not to sweat the small stuff, and as expected, the key was able to unlock the front door. After taking a few moments to collect yourself, you stepped inside.  

Well... it was certainly minimalist, that much was for sure.  

And by that you meant that there was literally no furniture. It looked like your dreams of sinking into a plush sofa were something unattainable. Goddammit. You had no memories, practically no autonomy, and now no furniture either. 

[“𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤?”]

You decided not to risk upsetting them again and chuckled weakly.  

“It’s nice,” you lied. 

[“𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞. 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐰.”]

“Uh, what?” you gaped.  

[“𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐬𝐞. 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰.”]

Right on cue, a new projection popped up. It was an image of a wooden chair with what appeared to be a cushion seat. You furrowed your brows, wondering what you were meant to do with this information.  

[𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 + 𝐂𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐭?]

>> [𝐘𝐄𝐒]

The second you tapped on “yes”, something bright flashed in front of you. You let out a little squeal and shielded your eyes. When you reopened them, the chair from the image had somehow appeared, as if by magic.  

Stunned, you gently tapped on the chair, just to make sure that it was real. It was solid to the touch, so no doubt about it.  

You’d just created that thing out of thin air.  

“That’s so cool!” you gushed, but unfortunately, your excitement didn’t last long. All of a sudden, you felt drained beyond belief. If you were a battery, then you’d just about completely depleted your charge. Your exhaustion was so heavy it felt like you’d been hit by a truck.  

Thankfully, you now had a chair to collapse onto.  

“Ugh,” you groaned. “I’m so... tired. I-Is this normal? Did I do something wrong with my crafting?”  

[“𝐍𝐨. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟. 𝐄𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.”]

You supposed that it was still nice to have an ability like this. Since people apparently had all sorts of powers called Quirks, you were glad to have a power of your own. If only the system wasn’t such an asshole at times.  

“Can I make food too?” you asked hopefully. 

[“𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.”]

Figures. That would have been a bit too over-powered.  

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧, 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡. 𝐈𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞.”]

You blinked. “Creating money? Like... counterfeit bills? But that’s... illegal. I shouldn’t be doing something like that.” 

[“𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐥𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐩𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐨𝐛, 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲. 𝐍𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐧𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.”]

The pit in your stomach told you that you weren’t the sort of person to relish this choice of behavior. But you supposed that so long as you were only using enough to live... it was okay. You didn’t know anything about what your life had been like up until now, after all. And defying the system didn’t seem to be an option, otherwise they would put you through hell again.  

It was the only way. That was what you told yourself to avoid feeling like an awful person.  

You slumped back in the chair and let out a heavy sigh. God. There was so much to think about. So much that you didn’t know. Not only were you physically exhausted after using the system’s powers, but you were mentally exhausted too.  

The system seemed to realize as much. 

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫. 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐩. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧.”]

You nodded weakly. Sleep was good. You were really craving sleep. Maybe a bit of sleep was just what you needed. Maybe you’d wake up with your memories fully intact. It sounded like a stretch, but it wasn’t entirely impossible. Given everything that had happened with the system so far, you could confidently say that much.  

You barely managed to unfold the futon before you were out like a light.

As it turned out, you were so tired that you ended up sleeping all the way until the next morning. And this time, when you woke up, there was a new message there to greet you.  

[𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊: 𝐑𝐮𝐧 𝟓 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.]

“What the hell?” you muttered. “I have daily tasks too?”  

[“𝐘𝐞𝐬. 𝐎𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐄𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞.”]

You supposed going on a run certainly wasn’t the end of the world. Since you had amnesia, it was probably important to maintain your health and fitness. The last thing you needed was to develop other medical complications as well.  

“I’m hungry,” you groaned. “You said I had a wallet somewhere, right? Can I please have it? I’ll go for a run and then buy something to eat afterwards.”

[“𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰.”]

[𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲?]

>> [𝐘𝐄𝐒]

They were right that you didn’t have much else apart from the wallet. The only other thing was what looked like... a hospital wristband?  

“I want the wallet,” you said. “And I’d like to take a look at the wristband as well.”  

At your words, both items appeared in your hands. The wallet was, well, literally just a wallet, but the wristband intrigued you for some reason. You lifted it up to get a better look at it, and oddly enough, the writing on it appeared to be faded. You couldn’t tell what it was supposed to say.  

Why do I have this?  

You tried asking the system the same question, but they said they didn’t know. They could have been lying, or they could have been telling the truth. It was hard to tell. 

You felt that this wristband was important, though. For reasons you couldn’t put into words.  

“I’ll put the hospital wristband back for now.”  

Just like that, it disappeared from your grip and reappeared back in the inventory screen you had open. Your head was hurting again, although you were starting to get used to the pain. It would probably be a recurring trend.  

You stashed your wallet in your pocket and let out a sigh. “Alright. I guess it’s time to go for a run, and then I can finally get some food.”

Despite the fact that you knew almost nothing about yourself, it seemed like your body’s physical state was fine, for the most part. Running didn’t cause you any excess pain or otherwise indicate that you had any injuries. 

You didn’t feel like you were incredibly athletic, though. If you had to fathom a guess, you were fairly average. But it wasn’t like you were trying to win any awards or anything. Being average was just fine by you. What you cared about was regaining your memories. Running 5 kilometers was a small price to pay if it would eventually get you closer to your goal. You could probably finish that distance in about thirty minutes.  

Or so you’d thought.  

You ended up slowing to a stop, but only because you’d caught sight of a familiar face. There he was again. Bakugou Katsuki. The same guy you’d spoken to yesterday, and based on what the system kept saying, someone you needed to get close to.  

Except this time, he wasn’t alone. There was another boy with him—one that had curly hair, big green eyes, and freckled cheeks.  

For some reason, he also looked familiar. You winced, a palm instinctively clutching your head, which was throbbing once again.

Oddly enough, the system wasn’t saying anything. Didn’t they want you to approach Katsuki again? That was one of your tasks, wasn’t it?  

Maybe they were just waiting to see if you’d be proactive on your own. Maybe this was a test. And if you didn’t make the right choice... 

You shuddered when you remembered being trapped in that god-forsaken void.  

No way in hell am I going back there.  

With apprehension fueling your actions, you changed your direction and headed for the two boys instead. They were talking. Well, not really talking, actually. Arguing was probably more accurate. And if you were being even more precise, only one of them was actively saying things. The other was shrinking away out of what you could only assume was fear. 

Katsuki was harassing the other boy. You watched as he grabbed onto his victim's shirt and pulled him closer, steam rising from the point where his palm had connected with fabric.

You weren’t sure why exactly, but something told you that you had to intervene. If you didn’t, the freckled boy was going to get hurt.

The thought of him getting hurt made your chest ache for some reason.  

“Stop it!” you cried out, pushing Katsuki away from the other boy without even thinking it through. You realized your mistake quickly enough.

Shit. You were supposed to get closer to him, not make him hate you even more! 

At first, Katsuki’s eyes widened from shock, but it didn’t take long for them to narrow. He was glaring at you the same way he had yesterday, when you’d introduced yourself for the first time.  

Actually, scratch that. He was easily angrier right now. 

“You again, stupid bitch?” he grimaced. “What the hell? Are you stalking me now or what? Who the hell gave you the right to touch me?”

STATUS UPDATE:  

[Bakugou Katsuki thinks you are incredibly annoying.] 

[-10 love points.] 

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:

[𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠.]

[-𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Fuck! I shouldn’t have cut in! So much for being a good person.  

“I-It’s not good to pick fights with people,” was all you could think to say. Honestly, though, you would’ve been better off not saying a word. Katsuki kept on reaching new heights of anger—ones that you hadn’t even thought were possible.  

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do,” he gritted out, then shoved you back so hard that you tripped and fell onto your butt.  

[𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮.]

[-𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Noo! They keep decreasing! 

“If you ever show your face to me again, you’re going to regret it,” he warned.  

On that note, he stormed away just like last time. You heard one final ping before another projection popped up. 

[𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮.]

[-𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

[𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬: -𝟒𝟎/𝟏𝟎𝟎]

Devastated, you just stayed sitting on the ground. You weren’t sure how you’d managed to fuck things up so badly. Clearly, you’d underestimated just how easy it was to piss Katsuki off.

Just as it seemed like the day was off to an awful start, a timid voice cut through the silence.  

“T-Thank you.” It was the boy that Katsuki had been about to hit. You’d managed to keep him from getting hurt, at least. That was better than nothing. 

The system isn’t going to be happy, though. I might actually snap if they put me back in that dark place again... 

“That was really brave of you,” the boy continued. He was blushing a bit while speaking. Perhaps he was naturally shy? “Helping a total stranger like that, I mean. I-If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?”  

Surprisingly, you heard another ping.  

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.]

[+𝟑𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

[𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝟑𝟎/𝟏𝟎𝟎]

Huh. 

Well, then. You thought that you’d made a total mess of things, but in the process of pissing off one of your targets, you’d made a good impression on the other.

It was funny how things worked out.  

You managed a smile and slowly stood up. “I’m [Name]. And you?”

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💔 main masterlist ♡ oneshot masterlist

[limetimo]

RAB FICS I READ (JUNE pt2)

The Mystery of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place by altaiswrites time travel, harry hops to the 70s, Harry/Regulus

Just Different, Apparently by risetherivermoon (moonriverrise) super cute jegulus meet cute!!!!!!

i fell hard (in your arms tonight) by grimstars touched starved regulus in jegulus

by the milk-light of moon by dalula for just_a_whorecrux sirius/regulus PWP

The Left Right Game by grimstars a horror story, I read the first chapter and realised that I'm not in a good place for psycho stuff but the writing is really good so if you're into horror, go for it

The Day Bleeds Into Nightfall by acari regulus revenge-fucks james before going to the cave

Butterflies by xpandorasbox texting au jegulus

Running Away From The House of Black the Slytherin Way by Melancholy_Pug what it says on the tin, future jegulus

carpe diem by els31 modern au doctor regulus jegulus

Paper Rings by apricusapollo jegulus love is for poets by arainai (alarainai) for aureusprongs lowkey angsty jegulus with good ending

paint it black by damagecontrol MAFIA AU very nice

Lead The Way by thissucks Sirius suddenly finds himself Regulus' guardian. Everybody agrees that regulus will eat sirius alive. loving the bartylus

Rich Kid, Asshole (Paint Me as a Villain) by Loki_Demon this is so good, regulus is such an entitled little asshat who goes down with his hubris i would fistfight him in a tesco parking lot

The Long Game by lackadaisical_lizard artist reg jock james jegulus

the deadly seven by remusjlupin1981 regulus had a son, dropped him off on narcissa's doorstep and fucked off to hunt horcruxes. things are not fun

Home is not a place by regulusarchieblack (AlRiddle) for coincidences accidental choild adoption

on behalf of the good dark regulus reborn as draco, a series

Drugs and surgical scrubs by anauro doctor regulus ends up with a stabbed drug addict james on his couch. he's not happy about it but at least the guy is hot

After Everything, Always by Reggie4dayzz jegulus

Empire by Saphireraven13 regulus is alive and married and has 4 kids and it's a crossover and i dont know the other fandom, so.

grievance and dirt. by anonymoussqaure black bros

Basic Instinct by ilios28 bartylus! also reg murdered his parents, love that for him

could we pretend (this won't end?) by a_sentimental_man for queerofthedagger harry/regulus, regulus accidentally travels forward in time

Auror Academy - the class of 1979 by Regulus_Potter ♥♥♥ jegulus slowburn, reguls lily friendship

Grimmauld's Home for Unsafe Learners by averea ♥♥♥♥♥ Regulus is potion master instead of snape and by god he will offer a sanctuary to all students with bad homes dumbledore can shut his whore mouth

love sticks, sweat drips by riomariyn fight club? jegulus

do you have a best friend? by coincidences for regulusarchieblack (AlRiddle) regulus and his daughter move to hogsmeade and become astronomy professors, v cute

this is me trying by witchhunts regulus dies and travels back to his younger body

Regulus Black vs Dish Washing by writer_of_sorts recovering after war fic v neato

Fall, Drown, Reborn by melanie_bxx jegulus and smut and uuuh regulus almost dying

The Strange Serendipity of Regulus Arcturus Black by shy_attention_whore reg dies wakes up eleven

if you think you can save me by dxncingquxxr regulus survives, is astronomy professor

The Paths We Take by nagemeikenu  detective lily goes searching for missing regulus (1940s au)

What It Cost by Anonymous regulus keeps surviving for harry

The Gringotts Job by TheWomanInGreen heist time, baby, or reg sirius marlene james and lily stealing the cup

Prawns by wandering_thought "my animagus will be better than your animagus"

Bonding In Different Directions by nagemeikenu regulus trains horses, sirus is an actor, they meet on a job

enough contrition to spare by xslytherclawx for quandrix_quizard regulus goes to dumbledore, it sucks, but he's alive, so.

orn of Blood by Moe64 percy jackson au jeglus wolfstar ect ect

I Will Not be Brave by TheWomanInGreen regulus fucks up and is captured by DEs and shares a cell with Marlene and later, JAmes

No Love for the Wicked by VigilanteVampire4311 harry gets yot to a version of past where tom riddle is a dada prof. this version of regulus is so funny to me

Somebody to Love by Graceless_Lady for KaiSkitty Regulus/Lily

a red 'happy birthday papa!' lego cake by sunburnt (orphan_account) cute

okay, who brought back the damned legos? by sunburnt cute jegulus raising harry

hope is the thing with antlers by stardiver jegulus

all i want for christmas is you by lemndrps toxic bartylus MCD

[eleni-cherie]

a thief's origin✨ || bts • kth - chapter 0.7

"you're afraid I won't wait." "I'm afraid you will."

a criminal and a doctor should be as different as the sun and the moon - but unexpected things happened every day. like him finding his safe haven in her.

© 2024 | eleni_cherie

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers s2f2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

30th December Barcelona, Spain

There was no trace of snow in the foreseeable time and Cassandra's already gloomy mood only dropped more as she averted her eyes from the grey buildings outside.

If it was cold, it should at least snow, she believed. But she knew something like this was impossible for a city right at the mediterranean sea. The only thing they got there was humidity and gusty winds.

It was the day before New Year's eve. The second-last day of the year. One day and eleven hours more and it'd be the next year already.

It was a strange feeling considering to her it didn't feel like a year had passed already. The only evidence it did being the coldness outside that had suddenly picked up in the last two weeks. 

She returned to study a patient's file. Today would be another double-shift. Could be worse, at least she wasn't working the next two days.

After asking one of the nurses to give the patient 150mg codeine, she finished her round right on time for her lunch break. Already spotting Stella and one of the assistent surgeons and Stella's on-off-crush, Julio, sitting at a table in the far back of the cafeteria and bickering over something as usual. And Cassandra gave them a quick wave, signalising she'd seen and would join them, before going to pick her lunch. Her stomach was already rumbling when a different kind of buzzing caught her attention then. It was the phone in her pocket.

doc (6:30am): happy birthday, wherever you are :)

cool guy (1:12pm): you remembered! cool guy (1:12pm): thanks :P

Her lips instinctively curled up. It was Taehyung. 

It had been a week since they'd last spoken, which wasn't surprising considering he had a different kind of busy life.

At least he took time to ressurface at all. Kind of like a penpal, where she had to wait for his letter to arrive and respond before having to wait yet again. Especially since they were indeed one-sided penpals with him sending her postcards from all the places he visited.

She was used to it, but that didn't mean she wasn't worrying a little whenever a longer period of time passed with no trace of him. Unpredictable things could always occur, despite him and his friends being unmatched in what they did.

doc (1:14pm): ofc i did :O

After typing in her quick reply, she shoved it back into her pocket when it started buzzing again. Perplexed by the unexpected incoming call, she hesitated for a moment before eventually accepting it.

"Hey." 

She inhaled with a smile. Something about his smooth voice greeting her so cheerfully always making her a little weak.

"Hey, your timing's as great as ever," she giggled when the line moved and she took a step forward. Hearing his surprised 'Oh?'.

"To what do I owe the honour of this call?"

Taehyung could hear the smirk all the way through the line. Laughing under his breath.

"What do you mean? It's my birthday after all. So I deserve actually hearing your birthday wishes."

She bit back a laugh, having missed his silliness. "Happy birthday, cool guy. Was that all you called for?"

"Almost," he said, his tone turning gentle then,"I also wanted to hear how you were doing."

"Well, I.." she began but paused. 'Fine' was her first instinct, however, she concluded he'd most likely see through her blatant lie, because in all honestly she wasn't doing fine at all. So she settled for a more vague response. "..I'm a little tired. But otherwise everything's fine. How's it there?" She knew he'd never tell her where exactly in the world he was currently at, so she didn't even attempted to find out.

"It's.. yeah, it's great. We're working on something.." His voice faded then and Cassandra was about to carry the conversation to the turn of the year, when he spoke up again. His concerned tone taking her aback."You sure everything's fine?"

She swallowed. No matter how hard she tried, she'd always be an open book to him it seemed. Even when he was miles away. 

No, she thought, nothing's fine. I almost lost a patient because of bureaucracy, almost messed up a chest tube on another one, haven't properly slept in days, I'm gonna spend the turn of the year all alone and I'm an idiot because I miss you. 

She couldn't bring herself to let any of these words slip from her lips though. She didn't feel like making him feel bad and pity her when he was who-knew-where in the world right now and couldn't do anything for her misery anyway. Besides, she also didn't want to embarrass herself.

"Yeah, it's just, you know, work. It's not always that easy." This wasn't even a lie. But she felt he still wasn't completely sold on it. 

"Hm, you sure that's all?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because work's always tough for you but you sound more distressed than usual."

She froze. Did she? She didn't even notice anymore, but others obviously did. Or at least, Taehyung did. So with a sigh she gave in, elaborating more after all. "It does take a toll on me. And tomorrow's New Year's eve, which I can't celebrate with my family and I have no plans, which could be regarded as sad and pitiful by some, but hey! At least I'm not working like some colleagues, so can't complain." Her casual laugh to gloss over her gloominess probably sounded forced. And she licked over her dry lips. "I just didn't want to dump everything on you.. I know you're busy with your own work." Another small giggle getting automatically added at the last words, another poor attempt to save her pride. "Anyway, it's also a shame you can't see your birthday gift, you know? It's pretty mad after all."

"A mad gift, huh?" He played along with her sudden change of topics. Although he could sense there was more to her previous words. "And what gift?"

The line moved and it was almost her turn at the registry, "Never heard of a surprise? You've got to wait until coming here again."

Taehyung scoffed playfully on the other line. "Oh, that's how it is?"

"Of course."

"Alright. I'll hurry up then, I guess."

»»»

31st December

Cassandra usually celebrated this day by playing cards and drinking with her family. Since it wasn't possible this year, she settled for eating a whole pizza by herself and watching one of her comfort shows. The perfect plan really.

It was past 10pm on New Year's Eve now and she was in the middle of her little rewatch party, when the sound of the door bell startled her and she paused the episode. 

Cassandra didn't expect seeing anyone that night. Especially since there were barely any hours left till the turn of the year.

A knock at the front door followed then, causing her to tense up even more. She wasn't a particularly fearful or easily scared person. However, due to the late hour and randomness her first instinct was to switch off all lights and remain quiet. Only when an annoyed and whiny: "Cas, open up already! It's cold!" was heard from behind the entrance door, her tense muscles finally relaxed.

The last person she had expected seeing standing in front of her door was Taehyung and yet, there he was. Doing just that with furrowed brows and an amused laugh.

"Were you hiding from me?"

"Wh.. no. No. Well, yeah, but I didn't know it was you," she defended herself with a small pout.

His cheeks were slightly flushed and raven hair tousled due to the harsh wind outside, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of his dark brown coat. He looked quite cuddly and inviting.

She instantly shook that thought away, though. Eyeing him suspiciously when also spotting the bare neck and open collar.

"And since when do you feel cold?" she sarcastically snorted then. A knowing smirk on her lips as she let him enter. Meeting his wide boyish grin.

"Maybe I fibbed a little there."

She laughed under her breath, shaking her head. "What are you even doing here? Thought you were working on a job."

"Well.." He let out an awkward laugh when a shiver crept up his skin. He might not freeze, but that didn't mean he wouldn't feel the coldness at all. Especially with the temperature difference inside there. "I don't know actually."

She took a step back to narrow her eyes at the taller man. A puzzled smile tucking on her lips as she tilted her head. "So did you just randomly come here all the way from wherevever you were?"

"It's just.." It sounded too silly, thinking about it now, but frankly, he simply had a feeling of her needing him. And he realised how completely irrational and odd it must sound if he said that out loud. So he stick with another excuse. "We were done with the job earlier than expected and wanted to take a little break, so.. might as well come to collect my birthday gift."

Cassandra blinked. Somehow she wasn't quite buying it. He never struck her as a guy who'd travel countries just for a simple gift. Especially since he should know it wasn't anything of value compared to the actual treasures they were hunting.

"Hope you don't have too high expectations of that gift, though," she mumbled with a coy smile as he followed her further inside, "Might get disappointed otherwise."

Taehyung shrugged with a cheerful, almost childlike grin. "A gift is a gift. I take what I get."

He observed her crunching down at other side of the living room to pick up a rather big square, wrapped in fancy paper, from her desk. She felt her fingers trembling all of a sudden, not having expected to see him this time around after all, so she hadn't had any time to mentally prepare to get embarrassed yet. And the few steps she walked back to him clearly weren't enough.

"It's nothing special, really. I mean, what do you get someone who can literally get anything he wants? But I hope it's not too terrible."

Cautiously, he accepted the object from her with a scowl. Her intention was to lower his expectations but all it did was hightening his curiosity, especially since he didn't have any clue what it could be. He'd appreciate it either way though, whatever it was.

"Happy belated birthday, Tae."

He tried not to rip the paper when opening it, but as it accidentally did, he gave up midway and just tore it off making Cassandra laugh amused at his childish eagerness. Only for her to bite down on her bottom lip and avoid his glance when he finally unwrapped it.

His expression softened, brown eyes grew round in astonishment.

"A painting." He looked up at her in awe. "You drew this?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, still not daring meeting his eyes. "You said you liked my drawings and.. you also said you'd like having one of yourself like, and I quote, 'one of these sleazy rich guys'," she added air-quotations for the dramatic effect. Her hands dropping to the side then. "I know considering you travel around from hideout to hideout, it's not practical, but.. I don't know, maybe if one day you do get that house of your own, you'll find some space for it." 

He hummed, his eyes preoccupied with the painting in his hands.

The detailed strokes, the soft-coloured paint. He wondered when she'd even found time to create it in between of sleeping and working. What amazed him the most, however, was the expression on his painted face. The look in his eyes. It tucked on something in his heart, the way she captured this brief moment of tranquility in them. He wondered if anyone else had ever noticed this kind of expression on him when not even he himself had.

That painting was how her eyes saw him. The way she saw him. And it was beautiful. It touched him how someone could see him like this. So.. human. Not a thief. Not a gunman. Just him.

He swallowed. His silent gaze wandered back to her then, catching her impatiently peeking at him as he was taking quite some time to silently gape at the present, increasing her insecurity about it.

He didn't understand why she was belittling herself so much when she didn't have to make him a gift in the first place.

"Thank you, Cassandra," he breathed eventually. His voice unintentionally cracked at the end as it came out hoarser than expected. She had almost missed it, so quiet that it was. But when she realised, her eyes slowly met his already smiling ones and all the nervousness she had felt before was suddenly swept away when seeing the sincerity in his face. He meant it.

She gave him a small nod in acknowledgment.

"Say.." he said then, taking another glance of the painting in his hands, "You said no plans tonight, right?"

»»»

"Should you not avoid such crowded spaces?" Cassandra yelled over the loud background chatter of half-drunks. One of them bumping into her shoulder, his red glittery party hat slipping from his head and almost poking her cheek.

Spending the final hour of the year at platja del Somorrostro, one of Barcelona's busiest beaches, surrounded by a New Year's crowd of strangers brimming the entire area wasn't where she had expected to find herself at. 

And all because of Taehyung.

His dark waves peeked out from between a couple of people in front of her, him clearly not hearing her nor noticing her absence beside him and she squeezed herself through to reach for his sleeve not to lose sight of him again. He paused when feeling the tug and looked over his shoulder, catching Cassandra puffing out her cheeks. "Hey, wait for me!" she pouted and he laughed.

"Sorry, did you say anything?"

"Yeah, I asked if you shouldn't be avoiding such crowds."

They pushed through the mess and Taehyung made space for her to follow behind him as he navigated them to a low pavement wall, seperating the sand from the street.

They reached the uplifted sea promenade soon and he climbed onto it when spotting a gap between some chatty teenagers. Holding his hand out for her which she accepted, letting him pull her up.

"More the opposite," he clarified then as he let his eyes wander over the sea of funny party hats, chaplets and woolen beanies. He could bearly spot where the actual sea began and where the crowd ended. His eyes then returned to her with a cheeky grin. "The more people, the easier it is to get lost in the shuffle."

Cassandra could only smirk at this. "I assume that's your go-to tactic at heists as well?"

"Hm, maybe. Who knows," he reciprocated her smirk. Knowing exactly how riled up it'd get her whenever he stayed vague and not providing more info. He simply enjoyed teasing her too much to ever let go of it, besides the obvious benefits of her not knowing any details for her own safety.

To be fair, this New Year's Eve was also quite different from what he'd originally planned for it to look like. The original plan foresaw him and the guys to sneak into a yacht party at the coast of Alexandria - something he wouldn't tell her though.

Partially because he didn't want her to ask why he was missing it out, partially because he couldn't let her know any details.

Furthermore, he'd never been a man of big parties and celebrations anyway, everything always seeming shallow and blown-out-of-proportion to him. And that sense only intensified when sneaking into some fancy party to steal idiots' jewelery and money. So in a way, he also did it for himself and not only for her. Besides, if he acknowledged the influence she had on him to just ditch anything at the mere feeling of her needing him, he'd need to apologise to Jimin for all the times Taehyung had scolded him for doing the same exact thing for Arabella.

"I hope we can see the fireworks from here."

Her words interrupted his train of thoughts and he watched her tiptoeing beside him before setting her heels back down and taking a sip from the mojito bottle she'd bought at a convenience store earlier. Cheeks already rosy from the alcohol in her system due to being a light-weight.

He took a swing from his own bottle of red wine. "Don't worry, we got a clear sight up here."

Cassandra hummed, getting tired of standing she decided to sit down on the cold stone next to a woman with a blue wig. Wrapping her arms tightly around her angled legs and bringing them close to her body. The midnight air making her shiver under her coat.

"Oh!" she exclaimed then, holding her phone up.

He narrowed his eyes at the dim display. The clock said six more minutes to midnight. He glanced at his wrist then, making sure his watch said the same. It was precise after all, something necessary when doing a coup. And indeed, six more minutes.

Explained why people around them became more jittery.

"Do you have any New Year's resolution?"

He mused for a moment over her question. Flashing her a grin then. "Not getting caught. You?"

The red-head lightly laughed at this before shaking her head. "No, don't think I got any."

"Huh, didn't expect that," he blurted out and felt her inquiring eyes on him.

"Yeah? Why not?"

He shrugged. For a moment he contemplated how to phrase his disbelief, licking his lips shortly which had become dry in the low temperature. "You striked me like the kind of person who'd have a whole list of resolutions to be honest. That's all."

Cassandra blinked, taken aback as she indeed used to always have some kind of resolutions while growing up and this might've been the first time she didn't. Perhaps she was more obvious than she liked to admit after all. A dry laugh left her lips then.

"Well, I used to -"

"Knew it," he grinned triumphatically and took another sip from his drink, "What happened?"

"Nothing. I just realised none of my wishes or resolutions ever came true. So I stopped."

Four more minutes.

"But if you would have to do any, what would it be?"

She took a moment to genuinely think about it and hummed while doing so. Only obvious ones popping up in her mind. "I guess.. to successfully complete this training year, not lose my mind in the hospital and.." Her eyes lowered and she paused, smiling to herself in a sheepish manner. "The last one is a secret."

His brows arched, but he didn't press considering it must be private.

He looked down at his watch again. 

Two minutes.

Somewhere in the distance behind them someone had already started blaring firecrackers. The loud cracking roaring over the drunk slurring, yells and chatter of the people scattered around them on the sea promenade. As far as the eye could see, streets were completely filled with people choosing spending the turn of the year outside among strangers in the cold. Most didn't seem to mind, Cassandra being the only one shivering.

And Taehyung noticed, scooting closer to her in a poor attempt to shield her body from the wind which had pushed its way through after all.

It was quite unfair, she pouted to herself when leaning into Taehyung's shoulder, how she, with her onion-layers of clothes, thick coat, scarf and beanie, was still freezing while he was out there with nothing but a sweater and a thin coat doing just fine.

"Thirty seconds," he announced when looking at his watch again.

Cassandra tilted her head to take a glance as well. "Twenty."

He sensed her warm breath brushing over his exposed skin. The pink-tinted tip of her nose and cheeks contrasting her pale skin which was faintly glowing under the yellowish streetlamp's light further away.

Everyone around them began counting down at the top of their lungs then.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Eight!"

Taehyung searched her eyes, seeing she was already smiling at him. And they held each other's gaze while continuing counting down with the crowd.

"Seven!"

"Six!"

Their smiles widened.

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

Fireworks errupted from the main square in the distance, splashes of colorful lights painting the black sky and illuminating the crowd with loud popping sound of explosives. The hooting party horns and cheers from the crowd jarred into a deafening wave and everyone fell into each other's arms.

And yet, despite the commotion by the boisterous mass of people, all Cassandra could see was the curve of Taehyung's bright smile. Losing herself in the glittering sparkles in his irises. Just for that moment, it felt as if it was only the two of them there.

"Happy New Year, Cassandra"

"Happy New Year, Taehyung."

They laughed lightly, breaking eye-contact and instead decided to watch the rest of the elaborate fireworks show and its golden rain when some odd - to him at least - customs caught his attention then. "Why're so many people kissing or eating grapes?"

Cassandra tore her eyes from the colourful shapes to briefly glance at him, redirecting them to the night sky again. "New year's traditions. People eat twelve grapes for each month for good luck. Or kiss to save themselves from a year of loneliness."

He seemed intrigued by this. "Are there more?"

"Not sure, I don't believe in this superstitions."

He huffed a laugh at her bolt claim. "Says the girl who bought a lucky charm to a heist with her."

Gasping, she averted her eyes from the fireworks again only to face his shit-eating grin. "T-that's something different. It was my emotional support!"

Taehyung only arched a brow, continuing giving her a doubtful look. Much to her annoyance. "No, I mean it. I don't believe in these New Year's traditions. Or at least I try not to but, who knows.." A rueful smile ghosting over her lips. ".. maybe that's why none of my New Year's wishes ever comes true."

Taehyung looked at her indeciphable expression before looking back at the firework.

"What about you?" She assumed to already know his answer but she was still prying to know.

"I'm superstitious. A little bit at least."

She smiled softly, somehow not being surprised at all. "Oh yeah?"

"I need to, sometimes it's a matter of luck. Especially in what we do." He threw his head back in gleeful joy as another set of fireworks was fired. A cheeky smirk gracing his lips then. "And don't they say luck and timing is everything you need?"

She agreed. Even in medicine where everything was scientific and empirist, they still often had to rely on luck and hope. When it came to a therapy or medication to work or when the surgeons needed to wear their own lucky charms to boost their confidence and succeed in a difficult surgery. But it also depended heavily on the patients themselves, if they believed in it or not.

She laughed under her breath. It was a laugh of self-pity as she felt she neither had luck nor timing. At least not in the way she wanted to. And she emptied her bottle in a swing. A feeling of fizziness and light-headness overtaking her mind.

"You know what?" she blurted out after a short while and giggled highly bemused, "We should kiss for good luck!"

Usually she'd know despite the bubbling feelings for her criminal friend, which she still tried convincing herself didn't exist, that kissing him while being tipsy probably wasn't a good start for anything. But any rationality was clearly last seen 0.5l of mojito mix prior, the very few enzymes she apparently had to break down alcohol, already saturated awhile ago. So her intoxicated mind simply found that sudden idea marvelous and entertaining. She'd never get a proper kiss from him anyway - or any guy in the forseeable future with her work schedules - might as well make him her platonic and amicable New Year's kiss in a desperate attempt for any kind of good luck for that upcoming year.

Taehyung, however, only chuckled when seeing her flushed red cheeks and the empty bottle. Not taking her random request seriously until he saw her face turning into an offended sulk. Bottom lip sticking out. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah, it's the tradition!" she pouted, "I don't want a year of loneliness. So you gotta kiss me!" She had an adorable, almost naive giggle decorating her puffy lips. And for a second his eyes lingered on them before eventually shaking his head.

"I don't think -"

"Then don't think," she grinned. "Let's just do this. Just a quick peck."

"Okay, fine," he dragged a sigh, surprised at himself for giving in so quickly when he and Yoongi always accused Jimin of getting easily wrapped around pretty women's fingers. "O-only 'cause I really don't want you to end up a lonely cat-lady though."

Rolling her eyes, she puffed out a snort. "Thank you. That'd be very kind of you!"

She turned her body fully towards him then, head getting dizzy at her abrupt movement.

Why was he even considering this? Oh yeah, to do her a favour. 

Emptying his own small bottle of wine, he also shifted in his seat before taking a brief look around them.

Kissing in public usually wasn't his style, but this could hardly be considered public as they were practically unnoticable in the amount of people around them. And besides, there'd been several others, whether friends or couples, who had exchanged pecks at the stroke of midnight.

So he exhaled and placed his hands on her arms, holding her in place so she wouldn't accidentally lose her balance as she was already swaying with a silly smile. 

"Alright."

"Mhh, do it."

"I-I'm doing it."

"Fine, then do it."

His skin felt on fire. He shouldn't have drunk that much. He might not be a light-weight like her, but he wasn't a big drinker either.

"Just kiss me already," she began whining impatiently, wiggling under his grip. A couple of loose curls falling from the side and framing her face while doing so. "Or I'll be a bigger loner than I already am."

He frowned with a snort. "That's emotional blackmail," he deadpanned then in an attempt to distract from his irrational nervousness.

But Cassandra immediately paused staring at him wide-eyed as if someone had slapped her and she only now realised where she was and what she was doing.

With an awkward laugh, her eyes fell to the space between them. Perhaps the buzz was beginning to wear off or it was a moment of clarity, but she realised it was pointless if she had to force him. Perhaps that would even give her bad luck in the end. And she already had enough of that.

She shook her head, embarrassed of her tipsy self. "Y-you're right. Forget it. It's a stupid tradition anyway. Can't remember the last time I kissed anyone on New Year's."

His brows furrowed at her sudden change of mind. "No, it's fine. I'm gonna do it."

"No, seriously. We don't have to," she ensured him, her words muffled from her woolen scarf as she tried burying her face in it. Cursing herself from minutes ago for even speaking out that rash nonsense.

However, Taehyung's grip around her upper arms only tightened. Making her grow stiff under his stare.

"I said I would and I keep my word." His voice was calm yet determined, which surprised him considering his hesitation and she dragged a breath, straightening herself under his hands. 

Was it weird that she didn't feel nervous despite it all? Probably. She blamed her low cogitation and the knowledge it wouldn't have any romantic significance anyway. Just friends following a tradition like many others around them.

"Fine, let's go."

He swallowed as he met her warm orbs. And he began fidgeting all over again. "Alright, okay, great. That's what I'm gonna do."

"All right."

His hands left her arms, instead placing themselves around her delicate neck and caging her velvety curls in his palms. A light shiver ran down her spine and she wasn't sure if it was the coldness of his fingers or the warmth of his touch. It was firm yet tender and she sensed her pulse picking up in rate with each passing second.

"Okay, ready?"

Cassandra only nodded, unable to speak all of a sudden. Maybe she wasn't drunk enough to stop her feelings and thoughts taking over her senses after all. 

Her eyes flicked to his heart-shaped lips before making the stupid mistake of glancing back at him and meeting his eyes. His face was open and vulnerable in the streetlamps and fireworks above them and she caught a hint of wonder on it as they stared at each other. Slowly, he began leaning closer. And she swallowed down the tiny gasp that dared escaping her lips.

"One, two.." He paused then, scowling at himself. "No, wait. I'm not actually gonna count down."

"O-okay."

"That's not my style when I kiss."

"Okay."

"I don't count d-"

"Tae, it's fine," Cassandra giggled, interrupting his ramble. She'd never seen him ramble before. Was he.. flustered? She'd always imagined him kissing lots of women in disguise. Even if he always claimed not even Jimin, the actual flirtatious among them, did that.

The thumbs on her cheek gently brushed the stray strands aside then. His eyes shifting to hers again. The last fireworks sparkled in them and for a moment his heart forgot how to beat.

"R-ready?"

"Yeah," she breathed.

He closed his eyes, his face coming close. A deep crease set between his brows then, making his face look rather angry for a kiss. And her tipsy mind ultimately lost focus upon that hilarious realisation.

"What's this face!" she bursted out laughing, unable to contain herself and he backed off, irritated about her laughing fit.

"W-what face?"

"You can't make that face when you try kissing someone," she choked out in between of laughs while pointing at him.

"Oh, so you say something's wrong with my face now?" Taehyung only scoffed, somehow glad about the interruption though. He wondered if his fingers were actually shaking or if it was from the vibrations of her laughter.

"No, idiot! You're handsome and you know it!"

Startled at the unexpected compliment, a timid smirk tucked on his lips at her drunm words. His chest warming despite him downplaying the muddled feeling that was raising. "Oh, so you think I'm handsome now?"

She groaned in annoyance, lightly hitting his chest over the coat. "Don't pretend."

"So, do you want me to kiss you or not?" His teasing smirk returning.

"Maybe if you didn't make that face."

"That's very nice of you considering I'm doing you a favor here," he laughed under his breath. Not remembering any woman having ever made him laugh so much despite complimenting and confusing him at the same time. 

Cassandra inhaled and exhaled deeply, calming himself again somehow. "Alright, let's do this already. No big deal," she nodded to herself, sternly, "Just kiss me."

"Nope."

She gasped at his evil grin. "You were about to, though!"

Taehyung only shrugged unimpressed and abruptly let go of her. "Yeah, before you bruised my ego," he retorted simply, causing her to huff.

"C'mon," she nudged his arm, "I'm sorry. I promise I won't laugh again."

"Apology accepted. But I'm not gonna kiss you." His lopsided smirk torturous, making her frustration grow.

"You're making such a big deal out of it, just kiss me already!"

"I'm not gonna kiss you!"

"Kiss me!"

"No! Not like this!"

Cassandra paused. Her parted lips, ready to counter something back in their bickering, abruptly pressed together into a thin line when processing his last words. She stared at his now bewildered face when he also realised what he had just unintentionally confessed.

"What?" she blinked confused, "What does that mean?"

Taehyung's eyes were wide, panic clouding his mind. "No. No-nothing. I just, I didn't mean it like that," he began with a terrible stutter the longer he looked at her inquiring eyes.

It didn't make sense. He was always capable of staying cool-headed even in stressful situation. It was inevitable in heists and when being in diguise. Then why did he totally blank out with the way her warm bambi eyes were digging daggers into his as the seconds passed. "I just, I mean we can't like that because that's not - it's very - like, you don't.. That's not what -" 

But Cassandra didn't even seem to be listening anymore, staring absendmindedly up at the sky instead, being clearly still tipsy and all over the place - he could tell.

Taehyung stilled then. The beanie was pulled to her brows, scarf hiding half her face. Only her round eyes peeked out, holding a lovely innocent wonder in them.

It was irrational. It was scary. How it was more thrilling celebrating with her and cheap wine from a 24/7 store at the beach, than being in an expensive smoking on a yacht surrounded by millionairs while drinking the most expensive champagne.

Cassandra abruptly shook herself out of her short abstraction then and flashed him a smile. 

"Come, let's leave or you wanna get hypothermia?" She was joking, but he noticed her anew shivering and he realised she must still be cold. 

"Y-yeah, let's go."

»»»

The new year was only a couple of hours old. Quite early to go home for most, but Cassandra felt exhausted despite having completely sobered up by now. Much to her own dismay, she wasn't the night owl she'd used to be anymore.

The air felt colder when she turned into her street. The way home taking longer than expected due to what it seemed half of the city being out on the streets and traffic jams everywhere. Lines of cars, impatiently honking and only moving for a few centimetres before having to stop again.

Taehyung followed behind her, wanting to fetch his gift before leaving the city again. It wasn't unusual for him to only stay for a day there before having to move again, but somehow she'd hoped he'd stay longer. 

The night breeze hit his warm cheeks as they reached the front door and she fumbled with the keys in the dark. Eventually finding the right one and unlocking the door, allowing them both to enter.

The painting was on the coffee table where he'd left it. He picked it up, examining it one more time in silence before tucking it under his arm and heading back to where she was in the hallway. Still busy taking off her shoes and jacket.

"Thanks again for this," he smiled gently and watched her lowering the beanie, ruffling through her curls to give them some of their lost volume back. "I'll make sure to store it in a save place." His voice was almost a whisper when he attempted to open the door, only to sense her tugging at his coat.

"Wait, I-" She pursed her lips, gaze falling as she saw his questioning glance. "I wanted to say thank you for spending the turn of the year with me.. I appreciate you coming all the way here so I wouldn't be lonely tonight."

His lips parted, taken aback. Had it been so obvious after all? However, he chose to pretend being confused and not knowing what she meant instead. "Who says that was my reason?"

Cassandra shrugged, lips curling into a rueful smile. "Maybe I just wished it was.. Whatever it was, still thank you. And I'm sorry."

Taehyung frowned. Gaze falling as well. "No need to apologise," he muttered, instinctively knowing what she was referring to. He swallowed then, shoving his free hand into his pocket. 

In retrospective, it hadn't been such a big deal and yet, he was glad he hadn't proceeded to kiss her like that. He knew he'd have regretted in the long run.

"I feel like it, though," Cassandra continued then with a sigh, "I feel so stupid. I shouldn't have insisted on keeping a tradition. Especially since I don't even believe in supersticious stuff."

He eyed her with a doubtful look, making her roll her eyes and sigh in defeat.

"Fine, I do. Sometimes. Some stuff. Not all."

He chuckled lightly making her smile.

Truth was, Cassandra was disappointed in herself for getting so weak and desperate, putting him in such a position and creating this awkward tension between them.

"Tae, you didn't have to kiss me." She felt like she needed to underline this. Her voice small and filled with guilt and shame. "Please, don't feel bad."

"I know, don't worry," he reassured before they grew quiet. 

In times like this she really disliked his withdrawn and secretive personality. Usually his aloof and coy aura intrigued her, but right now she needed him to speak to her. And the fact he didn't, made her fidgety.

They stood there for a second longer. 

Faint music was echoing from somewhere in the building while the piercing sound of lonely firecrackers was heard from the streets.

"Well, okay good then.. goodnight. And Happy New Year again." She tried sounding cheerful, masking her regret of screwing things over in her irrational state.

She wouldn't see him again for an indefinite period and that was how they'd be parting ways now. She hated herself from two hours ago.

Dragging out a breath, she reached for the door handle to let him out when a grip on her elbow prevented her from doing so. 

Taehyung grabbed her arm and in a swift move, pulled Cassandra into his chest. Strong arms catching her, wrapping around her smaller figure and before she could even properly react, his lips had already engulfed hers.

That was it. All the self-control she'd exerted over the past months went straight out the window in that moment. Her neurological system completely shutting down by the overload of neurotransmitters, hormones and endorphines, simply swiping her mind blank with the only remaining thought being how incredible his warm lips felt against hers.

Her arms instinctively found their way around his neck to pull him even closer. Feeling the cold metal of his necklace against her fingertips. And she kissed him back fiercely, Taehyung wounding his hands more into her long hair at this. It curled around his fingers, silky and fluffy and for a moment he lost any sense of time or his surroundings when all he could feel was the vibration of her skin against his and the bewitching rum-lime taste of her lips full of unspoken feelings and endless promises. 

Their lips moved, molding, melting into one another. Whatever logic and reason there had been, had long gone away. There was nothing left but their intertwined lips and breaths.

Eventually, they slipped from each other after what felt like an eternity but could have only been a minute. Panting against each other.

Their eyes remained closed, not daring opening and letting that moment ending in smoke so soon. Taehyung rested his dazed forehead against hers and leaned in. Planting one last kiss on her lips, this time less heated but rather tender and mellow. Savioring the last bit of the sour-tasting liquor mixed with his sweet wine. And Cassandra leaned into him more before they let go of each other at last.

Her eyes fluttered open immediately, dark lashes lining against her pale skin in a state of surreal haze. He wasn't sure if she'd ever looked more beautiful as in that moment, right after he'd kissed her and he felt the urge to do it again at this sight. 

"I meant something like that."

With that, he stepped back and picked up the painting from where he'd set it on the ground. Brushing past her. And he left without saying anything else.

Cassandra stood there in the empty hallway, stunned. Everything around her was spinning and she feared she was intoxicated all over again.

Her fingers slowly rose then to touch her numb lips. Ensuring they were still there. Along with the lasting sense of Taehyung's touch.

Her New Year's wish had finally come true.

»»»

next chapter: 0.8 here

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