#doctor gets gives u infection (he is not a medical doctor)

[fishyizm]

I HAD a dream your ocs were like uber famous and there was a convention nearby going on just about them. I went to the convention and ended up getting a weird zipper tounge piercing that got infected immediately. it was awesome.

asa ivanov world domination!!!!!

[starrywilliams]

guilty as sin? | abby anderson

“these fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath, taking all of me, we’ve already done it in my head”

warnings: masturbation, slight masochism, ruined orgasm, angst, perv!abby (a little), internalized homophobia (discussed in more detail below)

notes: no surprise my favourite ttpd song is the gayest one on the album, but guilty as sin? screams lesbian guilt i fear!!!! i’ve been writing this for over a month so i hope u guys like it 😭

cw: discussion of lesbian guilt & comphet - these are somewhat based on my own experiences with my sexuality and i absolutely!!! do not think a man can ‘cure’ a lesbian or anything similar to that. nor do i believe anyone should ever feel guilty for being gay. realising i’m a lesbian has been extremely freeing & dykes r the best x

wc: 1.8k

likes, comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated :)

the door slammed harshly behind abby as she stormed into her room. she pulled her jacket off desperately; her skin hot under its tight vice. she’d been in the gym, trying to work out her endless frustration of late, when you’d walked in.

you’d only said “hi" and smiled politely at her before setting your things down. but she felt her stomach churn, a black hole opening inside her. abby stood up, pulling the weights off the barbell and onto their rack. she grunted softly, glancing at you from the corner of her eye.

you’d started stretching, currently bent over as you touched your toes. her eyes drifted for an infinitesimal moment, locking onto the swell of your-. she looked away - wrongwrongwrong.

but then she looked back, her stare feasting on your body. she wondered whether you were doing this on purpose, trying to tempt her from across the room. she wondered if you knew her dirty little secret, abby picturing a smirk on your face as you mocked her for such indecent thoughts.

she didn’t want to feel this way. she didn’t want to feel the poison ivy swarming around her chest, getting tighter, tighter. the rash spread inside her; this invisible whip of lust lashing against her skin whenever your face appeared in her mind. well, had it been just your face maybe she wouldn’t feel like some depraved sinner.

now it wasn’t like abby believed in god, in a world where death and destruction infect every crevice you’d have to be mad to believe that any ‘god’ wanted its followers to suffer so greatly. but something inside her screamed every time she had these thoughts. these impure, twisted thoughts about you.

she didn’t know what made her feel like this. what made her resent you for simply existing; and what made her resent herself.

she recalled her teenage years, when manny had subtly suggested that owen liked her - so she was supposed to like him back, right? and she tried! she loved him even - but there was always that something, that feeling in her gut that told her that something was wrong, something about him that just would never sit right with her.

but all the other girls wanted a boyfriend too, and the jealousy was nice at first - she’d thought. after all, mel was the star student, a doctor in the making, her dad’s favourite; and nora was this freshly trained medical officer, and abby was- abby was just abby.

her dad began noticing her more too - previously too preoccupied with his firefly duties and his favourite student. now his little girl was slipping away from him, he finally began paying her the amount of attention she’d craved for so long.

before, their conversations had often drifted into talk of mel and her new achievements, or his hopes of a vaccine, or some animal he was tracking. never anything about his daughter’s life.

having a boyfriend made her interesting, it gave the other girls something to envy. which was a nice reversal, for a while. then her dad died, and she had become this object of pity. owen helped a bit, she supposed. he tried to distract her and keep her focused on their new role as soldiers, but she barely cared about him anymore. all she wanted was revenge, and with revenge, came you.

you were one of the gyms trainers, passionate about helping the members of the wlf stay fit and healthy! you’d helped her start lifting weights, squealed as she reached every milestone, and had remarked jokingly about just how much you loved her new physique.

it was innocent at first, the most being her brain going a little fuzzy when you’d bit your lip while spotting her; a slight blush when you’d hugged her a little too tight. then, once she and owen were finally broken up, these new pictures began hanging themselves on the walls of her mind. still, innocent, just slightly tainted with desire - the true nature of them still an avoidable matter for her back then.

when she could ignore the truth in her recent behaviour, abby loved spending time with you. after all, you were just really good friends! anyway, she’d had a boyfriend before so everyone knew she was normal, and absolutely not different, and she would never ever have to feel like an outsider.

yet it took a mere three months before she gave up on this foolish lie. she liked you, and as long as nobody ever found out, it wouldn’t matter.

but as her mind grew dark and twisted - joel a constant topic in her head as she obsessed over finally getting to enact revenge - her thoughts got worse in turn. she wanted you - filthily and desperately.

every gym session ended with another cold shower, a desperate plea for her body to stop and let her focus on the task at hand; a hopeless attempt to bury this ache into the ground; an endless endeavour to escape these urges for just one second.

but then she came back changed, every hair on her body endlessly erected with guilt. the way she’d killed him so mercilessly, the way it had done nothing to ease the pain, and the way you had tormented her mind ceaselessly throughout the entire trip.

maybe, had she never met you, she could’ve just killed him and been satisfied. maybe had you never offered to train her personally, she could’ve just stayed comfortable in that stuffy closet. maybe if she found the right man she’d stop feeling this way.

abby deemed such ideas unfathomable now.

owen made her feel nothing. being with him was like an eternal thursday, an endless wait for the week’s end and its pleasure to turn up at her door. every day she’d wait for some spark to arrive, the routine only becoming more and more tedious by the minute. but he helped her get people’s attention, which was enough when she was just abby.

but then she was abby anderson, top scar killer and isaac’s favourite. she got attention on her own, she was praised for her own accomplishments: people worshipped the fucking ground she walked on. but they didn’t know who she really was.

they didn’t know she liked girls the way she was supposed to like boys. she’d seen it in enough of those wlf movie nights - cruel jokes about anyone who even thought about being different. she’d heard the way people gossiped, “did you hear that they’re moving lesbians into the family unit? what a joke.”

they said it like it was something dirty, something egregious, something that she had to hate about herself. so she did.

but as long as she kept it secret, kept it locked away in her mind, maybe she’d be okay. after all, only your actions talk: it was the age old question really, if a tree falls in a forest and no one else hears it, does it make a sound?

abby fell back against her bed sheets, calloused hands pushing her cargos down to her ankles as she replayed the sight of you in her mind. bent over - she felt like you were trying to tempt her on purpose.

she felt like a heathen; staring, fantasizing, worshipping. her mind was bursting with the idea of every possible position she could put you in; head a chorus of every little noise she wanted to hear you make; eyes screwed shut as depravity filled her every sense.

she shoved her bralette up her chest roughly, fingertips dragging over her nipples with little mercy. she pinched them, the peach skin stinging underneath her touch.

she wanted it to hurt; wanted it to feel like some sort of punishment for her thoughts. but as her hips bucked into the air, a long whine dragging from her clenched jaw, she realised it needed to hurt more.

she imagined you, finding her like this. disgust burnt into your features - what the fuck was she doing? repeating your name like some subverted prayer, fingers harshly scratching along her stomach as she tried to make the pleasure feel more like pain, trying to induce some connection between the two.

if it hurt enough, would she stop? force herself to forget? could she torture this part of herself until it surrendered?

her hand slipped over the top of her boxers, a finger running tentatively over her clit through the now darkened fabric. she bit down on her lip, groaning against it as she pushed down harder and harder, attempting to break through the skin.

another finger pressed down, beginning to draw circles down on the throbbing bud. she jolted against her own touch, your head between her legs burning into her mind. your hands, trailing along her flesh - groping at her with little tenderness; tongue, swiping at her pussy with no intent of fulfillment: she wanted you to make her weep, smoke out her lungs with shame, deny her from gratification until all she could feel was regret.

she pulled away, only to cover her fingertips with her spit - diving under her boxers to continue with her corruption. abby let out a strangled sigh, hips grinding against her fingers as they toyed with her clit.

she moved a hand to her hair, knuckles stretching against her scalp as she began to pull her braid. she grunted, yanking even harder. she whispered your name: pained, hopeless.

she sped up her assault against her pussy, feeling that pit in the bottom of her stomach begin to grow. “pleasepleaseplease” her voice cracked as she begged, unsure what she was pleading for.

she wanted to stop, but she needed to try and make this feeling go away. she knew it would come back, it always did - but even five minutes free from your torment on her mind might save her.

her fingers kept going, drawing desperate circles against her weeping pussy relentlessly. the void was growing, almost consuming her entirely at this point. she thought of you laughing at her current state: a crying mess, pussy wet with perversion.

it was sick, really - how the idea of you hating her for this made her need even worse. you’d probably think it appalling: someone who was supposed to be your friend, now sat here burning at the thought of you.

a part of her wished that you shared this sickness. that you too let yourself be overwhelmed by the thought of sin. maybe you didn’t let the guilt swallow you whole - she hoped so.

but there was no point lingering in the what-ifs, they were far too fleeting.

her deft fingers quickened their pace, the ache all consuming. the climb began - a desperate jump towards oblivion. closer, closer. the flames scorched her bedsheets as her breathing hastened.

fuck, she hissed before reaching the apex with a scream of your name. a scream? a whisper? a thought? it didn’t make her actions any less deplorable.

her conscience grabbed pleasure by the throat as she ripped her fingers away, putting out the blaze on her hips like a cigarette crushed on the ground.

the desire imploded within the walls of her torso; scratching against her insides in the vengeance of her denial.

it was wrong; she had to stop it. yet still, the guilt poured into her lungs with no chance of resolve. she was a fool for thinking it would fix her. maybe next time it would work. maybe next time the exorcism would finally purify her.

until next time.

[katedrakeohd]

Heartstopper (Part 4)

Masterlist

Rated: PG for swearing.

Cast: King Nicholas, Drake Walker, Bastien Lykel, Olivia Nevrakis, various members of the Royal Court.

Word Count: 4160

Tagging: @tessa-liam @sazanes @rafasgirl23415 @nestledonthaveone @choicesficwriterscreations @lizzybeth1986 @kingliam2019 @lovingchoices14

Drake was released from the hospital at 5:30 the next morning. He checked in at the nurse's station to fill in the gaps in Kate's information and listed himself as her next of kin. He stressed that she was to have no visitors other than himself or King Nicholas, and asked that a hospital security guard keep watch over her until she had recovered enough to be released.

Drake took a deep breath of fresh air as he left the hospital building. The pain in his chest had subsided, and he had been prescribed a rescue inhaler just in case he had any lingering cough or shortness of breath. He was also given a bottle of water to sip on and some medicated throat lozenges to combat the dryness in his throat. The nurse advised him to rest his voice as much as possible. But he couldn't see that happening, because he was anxious to talk to Nicholas about what was going on.

As he walked over to the silver sedan that he'd "borrowed" the night before, he noticed the yellow slip of paper tucked under the windshield wiper. A parking ticket.

Pulling it out from where it was tucked against the glass, he shook his head as he saw Officer Turner's signature on it, and then crumpled it up and stuffed it into his pocket. When he’d arrived at the emergency department the night before, the parking lot had been full and he abandoned the car at the curb.

His clothes reeked of smoke and he was desperate for a shower. But first he had to check in with Nicholas and find out what his next moves were as Kate's bodyguard. He couldn't just hang around at the hospital and wait for her to be released, because he’d just be in the way. He couldn't keep the Ambassador’s car much longer either, because even with Nicholas giving him spoken permission to do whatever he wanted in his pursuit of Kate, that wouldn't hold up very long if the Ambassador decided to press charges.

He got into the Audi and started it up for his drive back to the Palace. Linking his phone to the car's  bluetooth gave him the benefit of talking hands free and he dialed the new phone number that Nicholas had used. He wasn't surprised that the King was awake at such an early hour.

"Hello?" Nicholas said, sounding tired.

Drake checked over his shoulder and then did a U-turn in the hospital driveway. "Good morning, Your Majesty," Drake replied, his own voice a little rough.

Nicholas sighed with relief, "It's good to hear your voice, such as it is. Are you on your way home?"

Drake turned left, speeding up to match the flow of the traffic. "Yes,"

He coughed, and then continued. "I'm a little dry, after being on oxygen for a while. Swallowing all that greasy smoke didn't help me either. I'm going to be fine, by the way. But, yeah. I'm on my way home."

"And Kate's status?"

"When I left she was still sedated, but the doctor said that the amount of mucus in her lungs is responding to the medication. She's being monitored closely for infection and is on antibiotics. She's not totally out of the woods yet, but she's strong and otherwise healthy and should make a full recovery." Drake said, feeling optimistic.

"Good, good... I'm so glad she's going to be okay." Nicholas replied, and Drake could hear the smile in his voice. "Once you get home and cleaned up, we need to meet and discuss what our next steps are.  Would 10am be good for you?"

Drake checked the time on the car's console, 5:45.. "That works for me. We can meet in my room. Send me a text when you're on your way, just in case I doze off or something. The drugs they gave me were great and all, but the environment wasn't exactly quiet enough to give me much sleep."

"Do you want me to bring you some breakfast?" Nicholas asked.

"I'm not sure what I can comfortably swallow right now. So I can see my breakfast being water and cough drops. I'll figure out lunch later. Thanks for offering though." Drake struggled to reply, reaching for his bottle of water to take a sip. His voice was getting weaker by the moment.

"I'll let you go for now. Preserve what voice you have left for our talk later. Park the Ambassador's car in the fleet garage when you get here, please."

"Understood," Drake whispered, and then hung up.

....

Nicholas sat on the edge of his bed looking down at the phone in his hand. So far the only people who knew he had it were Drake and the friend who had given it to him. He’d been warned by that friend to keep the phone's list of contacts to a minimum. There was no point of having a secret phone for sharing secret information if everyone knew you were using it. He needed some advice to help him make sense of the mess he was in. Drake was barely in the loop as it was, and he wasn't sure how much he could trust Bastien.

He needed help from someone outside the Palace who he could trust, someone who knew the inner workings of Crown politics as well as he did. He knew who to call, but given how last night's Coronation had ended, he wasn't sure how receptive she’d be to talking to him.

With a deep feeling of apprehension he punched in her phone number from memory, and hoped that the unfamiliar number he was using wasn't going to be ignored. The dial tone repeated in his ear and he waited for the inevitable voicemail interruption. But he should have known better. Olivia Nevrakis didn't use anything as conventional as voicemail. She either answered her phone or ignored you.

Her angry voice was full of impatience when she finally answered, “Hello?..Who the fuck is this? You better not be some spineless paparazzi scum or I’ll…”

Nicholas interrupted, hoping the amused smirk on his face didn't come across in his words, “Relax, Red. It's just me.”

There was a brief pause and Nicholas imagined her looking at the unfamiliar number on her screen with an angry frown, “Nick? You have some nerve calling me this early in the morning.”

He scrubbed at the bristly stubble on his cheek, trying a more polite approach. “Sorry. Good morning, Duchess.”

Olivia huffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “No, don't you suddenly Duchess me, Your Majesty.  What's with the weird phone number? You called me Red.… You haven't used that nickname for years.”  There was a pause and then her voice softened with concern. “Wait. Did something happen to you? Whose phone are you using?”

Nicholas heaved a deep sigh, “The phone you gave me. Remember months ago you secretly slipped it into my pocket at your estate, after you so publicly kissed me on the dancefloor? You said that if I was ever in a position to need your help, to activate it…well that day has come.”

There was a long pause on the end of the phone line, and Nicholas imagined Olivia being deep in thought. He wasn't sure what he was going to get from her next, a barrage of sarcastic gloating and ‘I told you so’ or genuine friendly concern. In the end he got a mixture of both.

“Oh. Now that you've got yourself accidentally hitched to the icy Countess of Fydelia, you suddenly turn to the Duchess of Lythikos for help. I warned you about that insidious family a long time ago. It amazes me that you've survived living with that snake Regina for all these years. No doubt Madeleine is beside herself with triumph too."

"Honestly, Nick.  After last night I don't blame you for feeling heartbroken and miserable. Thanks to that silly tabloid story, your American sweetheart has been blacklisted and likely shipped back to New York as well. I’m surprised you're coherently sober this morning.”

Nicholas allowed himself a grim smile. Olivia could never be accused of sugar coating the truth. “I suppose I deserved some of that snark, but actually Kate is still here. Her SUV crashed on the way to the airport and she's in the hospital..”

“Jesus, Nick…”

“But luckily Drake was following them and helped get her out of the vehicle.” Nicholas continued.

“Of course he did..” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Liv..,” he warned.

“Sorry..sorry. At least that ridiculous drunken oaf wasn't the one driving the SUV. Although it had crossed my mind when you mentioned the crash.”

“Seriously, Liv! That's uncalled for. Even from you. I know you and Drake don't get along, but that's a low blow.” Nicholas replied incredulously.

Olivia sighed, “Forgive me, it's stupid early in the morning and I haven't had my coffee yet. After leaving the Coronation early last night, I spent the rest of my night working my way down to the bottom of a bottle of wine.  So.... Kate's in the hospital and Drake's been playing hero like the loyal dog that he is. What do you need me for?”

“Over the past few months, there have been threatening letters sent to my office. Some of them contained photos….”

“That's nothing new,” Olivia interrupted. “As a famous person with great authority, with every two pieces of fan mail that sing your praises you're bound to get some hate mail too.”

“Yes..yes, I know. But what if the SUV crash wasn't an accident? Some of the threatening letters had Kate's pictures in them too. What if Kate was a target? Would someone hurt her to get back at me?”

“I know the social season was competitive amongst us Royal Suitors, but I hope you don't think I would deliberately target her. Or one of the other women? Would Madeleine stoop that low? The tabloid story was damaging enough for Kate. Whether it's true or not.”

“I have no doubts about your loyalty to me, Olivia. Or Drake's either. Bastien I'm on the fence over, though. I already know that Madeleine and Regina were working together to keep Madeleine as a frontrunner in the competition for Queen. They're related after all. But going back to that insidious Amaranth family reputation you mentioned, I need to know just how deep the corruption goes.”

“I’ve been keeping files on Fydelia and Krona for years. Do you want me to do some more digging for you?” Olivia replied excitedly.

“Please. But as discreetly as possible. Are you back home in Lythikos already?”

“No, I’m still in the capital. After leaving the Palace last night I checked into a hotel to drown my sorrows with a bottle of your wine. I plan on returning home today.” she said.

“I hope you stole a bottle of the good stuff.” He chuckled.

“Naturally.” She replied. “It was from your Coronation gala.”

“What hotel are you staying in? I want to talk in person before you go back. I can show you the threatening letters and photos I received too.”

“The Victoire on Fenton Street. Call me when you get here and I'll meet you in the lobby.”

“Excellent. Thanks, Liv. I've missed our talks. See you in a few hours.”

“Mmmhmm,” she replied, and then hung up.

Olivia and Drake were so much alike it was comical sometimes. Although they would both vehemently deny it. Nicholas wondered how they were going to behave when they found out they were going to be working together.

….

Nicholas sat at the head of the breakfast table feeling totally alone, although the room was full of members of his royal court. All familiar faces, but not a true friend or ally amongst them. Madeleine sat to his left and Regina on his right. Kiara Theron and her brother Ezekiel, Penelope Ebrim and her mother Emmeline filled out the other chairs. The room was full of conversation surrounding last night's Coronation and the upcoming Royal Engagement Tour.

Nobody was talking to him, and he was fine with that. The people he really wanted to chat with over tea and toast were absent. Kate, Drake, Hana, Maxwell, Olivia and Bertrand. The few people he felt were on his side. As far as he knew, Bertrand and Maxwell were still in custody of the Royal Guard. Drake was likely still sleeping after his harrowing night out. Poor Kate was fighting for her life in hospital. Hana had left Cordonia three days ago to go home to China after receiving word of her mother's cancer diagnosis. And Olivia. At least he’d spoken to her today.

He knew that Bastien was stationed outside the breakfast room, and that gave him a little bit of comfort. Setting his empty teacup down on the saucer he reached into the pocket of his jacket for his phone. His personal one. He was aware of Madeleine's eyes briefly cutting towards him, but he ignored her and then looked back down at his screen to unlock it. He picked up Bastien from his onscreen contacts and tapped out a quick message.

We need to talk, alone. Give me a reason to leave breakfast early.

A few seconds later his phone vibrated with a response.

That's all the reason you need, Sire.  Library, two minutes?

Nicholas answered back, Thank-you.

He tucked his phone away in his pocket and then straightened his jacket and sat back in his seat. Madeleine reached out to place her hand on his arm.

“Something wrong, Dear?” she asked quietly. The fake smile on her lips was a direct contrast to the stern look in her eyes.

He casually brushed his hand down his sleeve and then she quickly pulled hers away. “Nothing to be concerned about, just checking in with Bastien. If you’ll excuse me..”

Placing his hands on the table he stood up and pushed his chair back. All eyes turned to look his way as the conversation stopped. He addressed everyone, “Thank-you all for sharing breakfast with me this morning. But I have a meeting to get to.”

He nodded to Regina as he passed her chair and felt everyone's eyes on his back as he approached the door. He paused as a servant opened the door for him, and then glanced toward the security guard from the corner of the room who stepped forward to escort him. Nicholas waved him off with a shake of his head and then stepped out into the hall. When the door closed behind him he breathed a sigh of relief. Bastien wasn't at his post by the door, but James was.

“Sir.” He spoke up, standing up straight from where he’d been leaning against the wall. “Do you require an escort?”

Nicholas shook his head, giving him a smile, “At ease, James. I'm meeting Bas in the library. I'm pretty sure I can get there on my own.”

“Understood.” James nodded.

Nicholas heard James speak quietly into his radio as he turned right to enter the hallway. “He's on his way.”

Unbuttoning his suit jacket and stuffing his hands into his pockets, Nicholas made his way down the familiar corridor, the soft carpet muting his steps as he went.  He looked up at the wall of regal portraits, as usual, as he went through the gallery. He stopped at the painting of his father and his mother. They both looked so youthful and vibrant, as if they could just step out of the past. Constantine, so stoic and stern, wore an imperious commanding expression. Eleanor, fair haired like himself, was smiling and angelic in comparison. His heart ached for her, and he longed to hear her kind voice again. It astonished him to think that nearly twenty years had passed since she'd died. He could really use her advice right now. He wondered what she'd say to the adult Nicholas she never knew.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Bastien had been kept waiting long enough. He would have to settle for the counsel of his head of security for now. Nicholas had been King of Cordonia for less than a day, but had years of courtly training ingrained into his character by this point. Although he hadn't talked with his father in over a week, his voice rang clearly in his memory. It reminded him of who he was and how the fate of his country was now his responsibility. Now that Constantine was in no position to give orders, he needed to establish with Bastien where the hierarchy of power lay moving forward. And it no longer began and ended with Regina.

Resuming his walk to the Library, he quickened his pace, feeling a rush of adrenaline spurring him forward.

…

Bastien Lykel stood in the library, looking out through the open doorway and into the dimly lit ballroom across the hall. He glanced at his watch. I should have given the King a longer interval of time. It's already been four minutes since I've left my post.  He was reaching into his pocket for his phone again when he heard the echo of footsteps coming down the hall. He straightened his posture and stood at attention as he saw Nicholas breeze in through the doorway. He watched the King turn and pull each of the double doors closed. There was a resounding echo as the heavy wood of each door connected, sealing them into the cavernous space.

Nicholas sighed, slightly out of breath, as he leaned back against the door with relief.

“Good morning, Bastien.”

“You wanted to speak to me, Sire?” Bastien replied.

Nicholas smirked, rubbing at his jaw. “Please, Bastien. You've known me my whole life. I'm not your father, and I'm definitely not my father either. 'Sire' isn't my style.  Going forward, ‘Sir’ when we're alone. Or I suppose ‘Your Majesty’ while we're in the presence of the court is fine.”

Bastien nodded, “As you wish, Sir.”

“Bear with me, please. I'm new at this." Nicholas began to pace nervously as he tried to organize his thoughts.

"Something on your mind, Sir?"

Nicholas stopped, and then leaned back against the end of a bookshelf. "Yes. I've noticed that since we returned from Applewood, there are new faces among the security staff. Why? Who hired them?"

"Countess Madeleine has brought guards with her from Fydelia. Plus, Queen Regina has dipped into the staffing pool and shuffled some of the guards between Applewood and the Palace."

Nicholas crossed his arms with a frown, "Did she explain why she did this all of a sudden?"

"As Head of Household a shuffling of staff is something she's done periodically for years."

“Oh, I see. I'm assuming the two guards who abducted Kate last night must have been two of Madeleine's then.”

Bastien blinked with surprise, then frowned. “Abducted? No, they were supposed to escort her to the airport.”

“I saw them lead her across the courtyard. They didn't escort her, but rather forcefully pulled her along by the arm. When she resisted getting into the vehicle, she was struck and then roughly shoved into the backseat. They treated her like a damned criminal. She didn't deserve that. The photos taken of her and Tariq at Applewood were clearly a setup meant to smear her reputation.”

Bastien looked down at the floor. “She wasn't supposed to be harmed,” he said quietly.

“Harmed? The bastards nearly killed her!” Nicholas shouted. His voice echoed in the stillness of the large room and Bastien flinched.

The captain of the guard looked up into Nicholas’s angry face. “A police officer informed me that there had been an accident involving one of our SUVs and that the victims had been taken to hospital. He wanted to know if I could identify the occupants. He didn't tell me about Kate’s condition, but he said that Drake had been attempting a rescue when the emergency vehicles arrived on scene.”

“He told me about it.”

“The police officer?” Bastien asked.

“No, Drake did.” Nicholas replied.

“I should talk to him too. Is he here, or at the hospital with Ms. Darling?”

“He's been treated and released. But no, I don't want you talking to him about the accident. I sent him after her, not you. He’s not one of your guards, so he's not under your command.” Nicholas insisted.

“But he stole the Ambassador’s car. That's breaking the law. He needs to be punished for that.”

“There was no time for him to politely ask to borrow a vehicle. He didn't have keys to one of our fleet vehicles either. I gave him permission to use whatever means necessary to go after that SUV. I saw what those guards did to her and feared for her life. Knowing now that the vehicle they were driving crashed with her in it, doesn't that put them more at fault than Drake?”

Bastien shrugged, “I don't know. You said that you had given him permission to use whatever means necessary. How do we know he didn't run them off the road?”

Nicholas gaped at him, “We both know Drake would never do such a thing. Especially with Kate inside. I expected him to intercept and neutralize the guards at the airport and then usher her to safety.”

“Well the guards were certainly neutralized. I contacted the hospital and they informed me that they'd died. I was politely informed that the female occupant was to have no unauthorized visitors, and they weren't disclosing her condition to anyone besides her next of kin.” Bastien said. “Was that your idea?”

“More or less. I told Drake to keep watch over her while he was at the hospital. The rest he arranged on his own. Who else knows that Kate didn't get on that plane to New York?”

“Well the guards that were waiting for her at the airport know, of course. But they were sent there by me. They reported back to me that the SUV they were expecting hadn't arrived, and that the flight had left.”

“I certainly didn't order her deportation. So who did? And don't say it was my father. He's too ill to pass along any orders.” Nicholas demanded.

“Fletcher contacted me and said that incriminating photos had been leaked to a tabloid. The details of those photos would reflect badly on you, and could have influenced your decision last night. He informed Queen Regina, and then the order was passed along to me. I was told that if the photos happened to go public, that I was to arrange Kate Darling’s removal from the country.”

Nicholas sighed, looking down at the floor. He could still remember the offensive words that Regina had said to him about Kate. And the triumphant look on her face as she’d said them. He couldn't fault Bastien for following her orders. “Well, did you report back to Queen Regina that Kate didn't get on that plane?”

“No, I didn't.” Bastien answered with a grin.

Nicholas shook his head in disbelief, “Really?”

“As far as she's concerned, Kate Darling has been sent home.”

“Good, and I don't want her to know any different. The fewer people that know about Kate’s whereabouts the better. Tell nobody, especially not Countess Madeleine. When Kate's well enough to leave the hospital, I'm entrusting her to Drake’s care. He doesn't know it yet, though.”

Bastien chuckled, “Do you think that's wise? I know he's your best friend and all, and I've known him since he was a child, but for what purpose do you want him to keep Kate?”

“I love her, Bastien. And if it weren't for those photos and the story made up to go with them, I was going to propose to her. I already know that she would have said yes. I'll begrudgingly go along with Madeleine on this Engagement Tour, and show the world the King I can be. I need to give the false impression that I've rejected Kate, and I hope the media coverage of the tour outshines what the tabloid said about her.”

Bastien looked skeptical. “So you're going to do the tour, and then do what when it ends…marry the Countess anyway? Or Invoke your right to change your mind and marry Kate instead? Why bother to go through with the tour at all?"”

“Between the time needed to make arrangements and then complete the tour itself, we’re talking several weeks. That should give us plenty of time to find out who took the photos and restore Kate's reputation.”

Bastien nodded. "And hopefully keep her actual whereabouts a secret until then."

"Yes, and if Madeleine is with me the whole time I can keep her suitably distracted. If I can charm her into believing she's getting exactly what she wants, it will be all the more satisfying when I take it all away," Nicholas said.

[nezz-cringe-crib]

The little nose line u do on your art is my favourite thing

Not an ask but share ur faves if u want bye

if i don't draw a nose line assume i've been killed and replaced by a very intelligent otter

also i appreciate how "faves" is not given a specific genre so therefore you get to hear about my fave doctor in the world mr. doctor robert liston give it up for the only mf to achieve a 300% mortality rate wwwoooooo!!!!!!!

he's my favorite 1800s guy in the world. did you know he was one of the quickest surgeons ever and got the nickname "fastest knife in the west end" and he had a catchphrase that went "time me, gentleman!" each time he did a surgery do you know how silly that is.

did you know one time he beat up a necrophiliac with his medical class watching. halfway through teaching a class he decided to burst through the guy's room and then throw the dude to the ground and then went to give the body a proper burial with his whole class just watching.

did you know he was the first ever doctor in europe to use anesthesia did you know that.

maybe he did accidentally kill 3 people in a surgery for 1 person by accidentally cutting something wrong and then it infected his assistant and then somebody in the audience died of shock but ssshhhhhhhhh shshshsh

did you know this guy was so cool anyways that's my fave man i love that 1800s guy

[tfpriests]

August n co weird hospital AU and they’re all just freaky horror doctors/nurses/ect in all different ways

Josiah :: rlly erratic,’fun’,really enjoys needles and stabbing and pulling,threatens with abunch off different items before just sticking to shoving pills in mouth or quick injections,enjoys theatrical acts and problem likes casting reslllly scary shadows on the curtains.tight uniform ofc very fetishy.suprisingly clean until she’s not

Able :: most accurate to a normal doctor,fun of it for him is the betrayal (for example the guy u can trust in a horror game was just weirdly really into watching you loose ur calm),careful with his methods of harming but gets really gross in the details,kinda talks like a strict therapist.a formal uniform for his own dignity and the sake off “making sure they’ll always see me around no matter where they are “ also cus he probably likes being in power so he dresses for the part

August ;; probably a patient ,scrubs maybe,always ends up sleeping right besides patient(think of that one Mikan scene),always ends up giving the wrong medication,always eager to help for the more ‘grosser’ and ‘personal’ actions,probably has his own weird medications passed down from his family that he insists help,always causes infected wounds

[mushroommanchanterelle]

I got tagged by my good friend @goodluckclove for an OC interaction game! Below, I'm going to describe a day spent between Magnus Experah and Scott Skylark Kaufner at the Bay Harbor Institute for Magical Sciences. Scott is from their series Songbird Elegies! I'm gonna tag @korblez, @daisywalletchains, and anyone else who wants to play!

Read below for more ^u^

Scott Skylark Kaufner is a 31 year old human birthright from the Bluerose Refuge Hub, a witch town on the coast of Oregon. He is intersex, born with Kleinfelters Syndrome, and chose to undergo a masculine puberty and identify as a man. Scott is Greek-Romanian and I think German on his dad's side? I haven't established that yet. But he's a shorty at 5"5, with long and wild black hair and large, dark blue eyes. He identifies as a man, but prefers to dress in loose dresses in fun colors and soft materials. No shoes.

Scott is a bipolar variant birthright, which means he once had the ability to reflect his emotions onto those around him. But after travelling for years to find Eddie, he used his powers so often to get through social situations that they were infected, forcing him to inadvertently control the intentions of anyone that made eye contact or extended physical contact with him. Usually this ended with the person wanting to sleep with him. As a sex-repulsed asexual, this resulted in a rough few years for Scott. The fact that he was unable to see human faces due to the torture of the Eldritch horror trying to possess him did not help.

At his best Scott is friendly and talkative, though he tired quickly socially - as much as he tries to hide that fact. He loves the ones closest to him deeply and passionately and he has a tendency to get weird and overdramatic about it. There is an undercurrent of some manic intensity to him that most choose not to bring up and he doesn't seem to notice.

He's an obsessive piano player since infancy that can't read music but can learn anything by ear if you give him time. He also has perfect pitch but pointing that out embarrasses him. Scott loves the library and thinks that librarians, service workers, and anyone in the medical field are the most important members of society. Especially librarians. He loves reading books of Greek mythology but has a different relationship to them since his upbringing in magic causes him to think most mythological/supernatural things could maybe be true. He also loves a good snack and he's not great with technology but he's really good with Excel. Magnus Experah is an agender Petraedict, a species that resembles a cross between a monkey and a cat. They have large, mossy green eyes, mostly taken up by iris, with a rounded pupil in the center, with a light complexion. White markings wind up and down their skin, covered with a thin, near invisible, layer of soft fluff. They stand at an average height of 5 feet 7 inches, with a tail two feet long ending in a fluffy mass of fur the same color as their copper hair. They wear a set of smart, small spectacles that sit on the bridge of their flat, feline nose, covering the small spattering of white freckles that dot their cheeks. Magnus is a stern scholar, often stoic even amongst their closest friends. They prefer to be called by their student title of Honorable, the Bay Harbor equivalent of a Doctorate student. They struggle with tone and inflection, often coming across far more flat than they intend to be, and they find it difficult to discern tone in voice as well. They prefer to dress sharply, in suits of autumnal colors, and try to appear professional, as if they've already been approved for their dream job at the Magus Council. When they aren't studying, Magnus enjoys walking along the coastline, watching the ships sift through the ever present fog along the sea. They're partial to reading, as well, spending much of their time in the Institute's library, or in their study at home. They're fond of music, as well, though they prefer instruments to singing, and they like their music played softly. Magnus has a condition known as PNES, or psychogenic non-epileptic seizures, and as such is usually accompanied by at least one of their friends in the event of a seizure. Unfortunately, part of the process of seizing means they end up dumping all of their radioactive magic into their surroundings, warping and twisting them into something horrific. As such, they take great pains to avoid situations where there might be an abundance of noise, crowds, or yelling. They also tend to avoid conflict. They are quiet, a bit high strung, and prefer to be a wallflower.

That was a lot of fun c: Thanks for the tag!!

[augment-techs]

Whump Ask Game: “Only, Only the Promises I can’t keep” + Adam Park

Title: Only These//Only the Promises I Cannot Keep Rating: E or U Warnings: Rape; Graphic Violence; Character Death. Relationships: World of the Coinless Adam Park/Tanya Sloan; World of the Coinless Adam Park & World of the Coinless Eugene Skullovitch; World of the Coinless Adam Park/Scorpina; World of the Coinless Adam Park/Rocky DeSantos/Aisha Campbell. Additional Tags: World of the Coinless; Alcohol Abuse; Asphyxiation; Depression; Child Death; Non-Con; Medical Assault; Consensual Somno; Consensual Making Out; Poly Characters. Summary: Here's the thing, even while the world was falling apart around their ears, even with the separation of friends and family and the familiar, life finds a way. Adam managed to finish out his last year of high school while Rita Repulsa and Drakkon were fighting the Power Rangers. Had managed to learn and earn a trade in tailoring and textiles and weaving. Had found a girl to fall in love with a have a baby. Life finds a way. Until it doesn't. Toxemia after giving birth to a child is rare, but stranger things had happened by the time Adam and Tanya were in their twenty-third years. Even if the mother had no complications during the pregnancy or birth, there was always danger from infection or hormonal fluctuations that could lead to depression. "I'll find a way to help you." Then the baby, which they had not named until they thought they could get a grip on a nonbinary name to choose from with their personality; they got sick from a lung infection. "I'll find a way to help you." Adam was going to try and go to the Coinless, bargain or barter or beg for contact with a doctor or Trini; but there was a flier on display at the market encouraging people to sign up for Sentry duties, which listed benefits highlighted in bright green that gave Adam something to hope for. ...Two months later, his wife was dead. And his child. And he was still in training, which was required before any benefits could be given, and only after Adam had spent at least thirty days in service. Three months later he was on guard duty in front of Drakkon's bed chamber, half in the bag because some of his fellow sentries had given him a warning about what that meant. Four months later, the only reason he had thrown himself off of the highest building he could find was a pair of warm, strong hands pulling him up, cleaning him up, and saying the right words, "But what would Rocky and Aisha think?"

[murderbot]

i am so sorry to come back with bad news. samah took ammar to the hospital to get the medication he needs for his heart, but the examinations the doctors took showed that he also had severe lung infections and low blood oxygen.

he needs an oxygen cylinder and a nebulizer to give him the oxygen amount he needs while he is struggling with this, and unfortunately these are both extremely expensive things: the nebulizer costs at least $545 and the oxygen cylinder costs at least $1285

because any delay or cut-off from the oxygen means that ammar will die, she only has until tuesday or wednesday in palestine time to get this amount - just about a week

collectively these items cost $1830, but keeping in mind the 30% fees gazans still have to experience on money transfers, that is $2,700.

it is a lot of money to gather in a week, but i truly hope we will be able to help samah with this

$25 / $2700

let me know if you do not wish to be pinged

@honeygordo @councilcrawler @sweetsweethate @femmefitz @2002-interlude

@ruerue244 @trans-lunarinjection @cowgirlmilkers @anophelei @mushroomjar

@hehemechief @veryveryvomit @stepter6 @somnisphinx @strawbearyhoney

@yourlocaleccentricscientist @wolfsskull @lun4rc0w @bi-worm @dykenanaosaki

@pantropikos @the-acestronaut @beefchurger @heydreamchild @ferretly

@beeffizz @altlashehe @skullc0r3 @thatsonehellofabird @revalentinee

@ratjamtime @c-u-c-koo-4-40k @4rthstandbreak @snorkmaidxn @rainy-fog

@thefightinfoggy @chippymint @12furbies @croftingturnblr @multiifandomer

@mephal @magic-can @hojanaranja @strugglingqueer @bi-worm

@nwenny @thebelovedlion @beastren @paintroller @pokemonhammerandsickle

@pikslasrce @carfuckerlynch @orbleglorb @tlirsgender @camelspit

@dadpilled @momomcstank @momomcstank @sailorsleepymoon @angelicdevil

@councilcrawler @noble-kale @dannyketch @z-moves @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness

@randommmmie @cauli-flawa @autizta @heliopixels @palhelp

@sar-soor @roadimusprime @hollowslantern

@heydreamchild @girlinafairytale @heliopixels @palhelp @lesbianmaxevans

unfortunately, samah's @ammarfamily2 son ammar is in trouble. as we were not able to raise the funds required for his injection to help his heart for a long while, he has gotten very sick. he has extreme fatigue, which is terrifying to see in a baby

samah is terrified that ammar may die, and she needs this amount as quickly as possible, so donations sent to the gofundme campaign will not reach her in time. she has asked me to switch my focus on ko-fi from getting this injection to getting him the medication for this.

the medicine costs $346, but due to fees that take around 30%, if not more, of the money sent to gazans right now, in order for that money to reach her i have had to set the amount to $500

her campaign has been shared by 90-ghost

she requested i use my ko-fi as shown here

$0 / $500

[nonlethal2]

04/24/24

Well, last night on Instagram, I unfollowed/unfriended Kerr. After I did it, it felt like heartbreak all over again. Looking back, I don't know why it hurt so much being that he was still the same jerk he has become. Plus, why should I give access to a person who just tries to tear me down. I don't view him as a friend. I don't think he knows the meaning of being someone's friend. This all started when he I didn't know tracked me down on Instagram. He is and will always be blocked on Facebook.  He sent me a friend request, which I ignored. He took the request back. He sent another one, which I don't know why but accepted. Then, on Messenger on Instagram, he was back playing games like changing the theme to Willy Wonka and sending emojis. I didn't change it or acknowledge it. Then this was around the time Dave was in the hospital dealing with his foot and infection.  Kerr changed the theme to Winter Wonder Land. It has snow and a snowman on the background, which I thought was adoreable. I sent a heart emoji. Then Allan told me he was suspended  at work.  Here, he refused to take a drug test, and if you refuse, they could fire you. So I messaged him to ask him why he didn't test. Of course, he couldn't just tell me. I was worried at first that the reason he didn't test was that he was taking steroids or he was sick and taking some medication he didn't want people to know about. All he said basically was that he was suspended until he decided if he could have his job back or if he was fired. He then told me that with him being suspended, he was getting paid to go to the gym. Plus, he had enough money that he didn't need to worry.

I finally got it out of him that the reason he didn't test was because he wasn't able to sleep and he went to the doctor who wouldn't do anything for him so he decided to smoke. That's why he didn't test and told management the reason. However management instead of firing him, gave him the opportunity to resign from what he said so if a new employer called them to get his work history they wouldn't be able to say the reason for him being fired.

So he went to work at Asda distribution center, which I told him he wouldn't be able to do because of how physically demanding it was. He did quit there and got another security guard job in some refuge hotel. Seemed pretty sketch to me.

Anyway, he started sending me memes, which felt like he was making fun of me. For the most part, I would ignore it or send memes to try and get under his skin. Then we started this back and forth of what a man is.

He sent me this meme that said this sandwich causes brain cancer. That I don't need to worry since I don't have a brain. I replied back great that you are safe. Now you can leave me alone. He said boo hoo. That my life would be empty without him. I told him no it wouldn't that I have friends with a lot in common. I told him to go harass his son, future daughter in law, his brother, Susie. He replied back triggered? I will do that.

Than he said Before I go

Another definition of a man is someone who doesn't raise there hands and hit a female

Another one is when your wife is getting fucked by Another man u do something about it

Bye.

U will be in touch again

Like I said.u can't be without me.

I said back Not triggered. I don't need to waste time and energy on someone who always thinks he is right. Wants to hurt people. Yeah, and a definition of a man is to be there for someone in their time of need. To help them not continue to put them down and make them feel worthless. Not to play games by making comments on post. One minute blocking them, and the next sending friend request

I won't be in touch. You're the one who contacts me when no one else wants to bother with you. Just like you sending emails randomly.

Now this morning I go on Instagram and he has already sent me a friend request.  Are you serious??? I am suprised that he even noticed that I unfollowed him with all his gym following. 

[wetslug]

.

[izzy-b-hands]

Cute/emotional little Roach centric fic. Went sort of flowery prose in bits, forgive it if u can, if not I absolutely get it and valid lmaooo

TW for brief descriptions of medical care/treatments & allusion to abortifacients (no actual abortion or miscarriage occurs in the fic, this is just a general allusion as it being noted as part of his medical knowledge.)

---

"I know," Roach sighs. "I'm sorry!"

The little girl wriggles on her mother's lap, but lets him finish her stitches.

"Thank you," the woman sighs and hands him a few coins. "I don't quite have-"

"This is more than enough," he cuts her off gently. "Make sure she keeps that clean. If anything starts to look infected, she'll need the next doctor that comes through."

She nods and waves as she and the girl leave the small empty shack he's commandeered for the duration of their stay at the port.

He told the captains that he simply prefers to find his own accommodations, but truthfully, it's because he doesn't need the crew knowing about and hanging around all this.

Part of why people come to him, after all, a transient pirate doctor/cook, is for the discretion and quiet.

He's helped out girls and women needing certain teas, with ingredients his mother taught him about.

There are babies growing up that he delivered, then for a fee took and found a home (sometimes as easy as reaching out to the local church or orphanage, other times begging a better off family or a pirate captain in want of an heir but lacking a family to consider a new baby.)

Broken arms he's set while ignoring blackened eyes and listening to insistent protests of a bad fall. He always mentions how easy it is to simply disappear on a ship, should one need to escape from anywhere for any reason.

And worse. So much worse, often begged to be kept secret, but they simply had to tell someone who might help.

And a doctor always tries to help. A decent one, at least. He may not be quite decent yet, but he figures he's close enough.

"Please," the man comes skidding around the corner, wailing bundle in his arms. "I need five minutes. Just two, even."

"Hey," Roach says softly. "What's up?"

"She left me with him," the man holds out the bundle. "He won't stop crying. I can't take it."

Roach silently takes the baby, and points the man across the way towards a cheap inn. The coins the girl's mother gave him will be enough for that, and the man can sleep for the first time in days.

"You're giving your dad a lot of trouble," Roach says over the baby's cries. "And all of what, a few days old?"

He's joking, but he feels bad when the baby wails louder.

To make up for it, he doesn't set the baby down in the bassinet in the shack (one bassinet and one small cot, in case anyone needs to be monitored overnight or longer), even after the baby sleeps.

Instead he walks the small square of the shack and rocks on his feet and drowsily mumbles shanties and lullabies until the two blur into an odd mix of fish in cradles knocked out of tree boughs by sailors.

Four hours later, the man returns with an older woman. Grandma, who upon hearing the situation has agreed to come and stay with them.

Roach hands over the baby with a bittersweet ache. Memories of younger siblings held and the idea of a family of his own (incredibly unlikely considering his career) and the physical ache of his arms from cradling the baby for so long.

"Here you are."

He peers out as his latest patient is carried off, and there stands Ed.

Pipe in hand, smoke lazily drifting through the candlelight shattering the dark. He looks imposing, every bit the fearsome Blackbeard of legend.

He also looks incredibly, almost upsettingly attractive, but Roach is fairly sure Ed just has that effect on most if not all people.

"Can I help with something?" Roach asks.

"Everyone else is waiting for you to come out with us," Ed replies. "But no one knew where you went. When I volunteered to find you, I didn't know what I'd expect to find you doing-"

Roach braces for a lecture about being a pirate, or something to that effect. It won't stop him doing this, and he'd be disappointed in Ed, but this wouldn't be the first captain to disapprove of what he did, of the time and loyalty they always claimed he took away from them with such work.

"But this is awesome! I could hear that kid clear across the way earlier, but look at you!" Ed smiles. "How'd you quiet them down so fast?"

"Practice," Roach shrugs. "Siblings, then patients."

Ed's eyes grow wide. "Midwifery?"

Roach nods. "Sort of. As needed, thankfully not too often."

"You've got stories," Ed beams. "You've gotta come tell us-"

He pauses. "You're open all night to help people, aren't you?"

Roach nods. "But I can-"

"No, hang on!" Ed says. "I'll go get everyone, and we'll have things here. We can help you with anyone who comes by! We've got food and drink we can carry over, and I want to hear stories while we eat! Gorier the better!"

Ed claps a hand on his shoulder before jogging off to wherever he left the crew, leaving Roach stunned.

Stunned, but incredibly happy. Not just for the company, but for the extra hands. With them, he might even get to sleep for an hour.

[azsazz]

Kind of a personal question so feel free to ignore it but have u ever dated anyone? What was ur first relationship like?

Oooh getting deep I see.

Sooooo, this is actually like not a great story...and i basically just word vomited my life on here 😅

TW: mentions of poor mental/physical health, cancer

Yeah, I've only been in one relationship and it lasted for 3 years (too long) lol.

It was great at the start. I'd met him when I went away for college and we were friends which is what I liked the most. We met at a karaoke bar my school had that my friends and I would go to every Thursday night and so would he and his friends so we all kind of became this large group that did that almost every week.

And it was my first relationship ever you know so I was all dumb and head over heels and the whole thing was just a mess looking at it now. My family and friends didn't like him and I became a terrible friend because I would basically spend all of my time with him and not them, so when we broke up I had like no friends of my own because we would only hang out with his friends and that's a whole other mess I won't get into haha.

But basically we were together and things just got worse and worse. He was very jealous and overbearing, had to know where I was and what I was doing all of the time and when we first got together he would tell me what he was doing all of the time and I'd be like okay? I don't need (or care) to know what you're doing all of the time, that was just a natural thing for him I guess. So then he conditioned me to basically be the same way and it was awful and I hated it.

Eventually, things were so stressful. I'd gained so much weight and I was deeply unhappy. All of my relationships were strained and I had no one to turn to. If we fought I'd basically have nowhere to go if I needed time to get away. He chased me down in his car once when all I wanted was some space to think.

Towards the end of our relationship I was literally the most miserable person ever. I hated everything and I started feeling even worse. I got a cold around my 22nd birthday and then that turned into something much worse. I kept getting sicker and sicker and I had no idea why. The doctors I went to thought I had an ear infection, then bronchitis, then that again. They just kept giving me medication for things that weren't helping.

I'd be freezing cold at night but wake up sweatier than ever.

And one day I literally just blurted out during a fight that we should just break up and then we did.

I lost like 30 pounds in a week but was sicker than a dog and I thought it was just because I was sad or whatever and I went to a therapist who literally said to me "Why are you so negative?" I'll never forget that. like lady i'm here to tell you about my problems what fucking part of that is positive?

Like legit I could barely go to class because I was so sick, I had no motivation to do anything. I'd go to class, come home, and go to bed. I barely even did homework because I had no energy.

I visited my brother at his school which was five hours from mine and my parents were there visiting him for a weekend and by the end when it was time for me to drive myself back I started bawling my eyes out and pleading to my parents that i didn't want to because I felt so awful it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Fast forward to thanksgiving break, i went to see another doctor in my hometown because I was still sick (so it started september and it was now november) and she said lets wait a few more weeks, see if this goes away and we'll check again at winter break (december).

So i go back to school and am miserable and finish my classes and I come home at christmas break and am trying my best to tough it out. I was literally the most miserable person on the planet i can't stress this enough how awful i felt. I had no energy to do anything, I'd be so angry at everyone for no reason, and I'd had a terrible cough, nothing was going alright.

At the time my two other siblings were still at school so it was my parents, my little brother, and i. My mom said "if you want to go to the hospital let me know." and i had a friend over at the time so i tried to tough it out but in the end i wanted to go to the hospital.

Basically they told me that I had stage 4 cancer (Non-Hodgkins lymphoma) and man I was in utter shock.

And then I had to leave school to get treatment so I moved back home for that.

So basically long story short I haven't been in a relationship (or even kissed/slept with anyone) since (4 years now, im 26 😳) because now I have this irrational fear that I'll get sick again or something and I just like don't even know how to talk to people or want to talk to them. And I just don't want any of that shit to happen again so idk what im doing with my life in terms of relationships lol.

But I've been in recovery since the middle of 2019 so I am very grateful for that.

sorry for the longest answer in the world that really took a turn. if you read all the way through thank you 💙

And if you should ever need someone to talk to about anything, I am here for you 100% 💙💙

[under-sedationnn]

the arcana: main six reacting to injured! reader

anonymous: Could u do m6 reacting to mc coming home injured? I want some hurt/comfort >:))

Warnings: talk of being injured, blood. if that bothers you or tiggers you in anyway, please scroll away! i want this to be a safe place, only :)

thanks for the request anon!! i hope you enjoy!! <3 requests for the kissing prompts and physical affection prompts are STILL OPEN. please send them in with the character of your choice (which could be any character from any series i write for) and i will create an imagine!! thanks and happy reading!!

- tries his very very best to stay calm

- you can see panic bubbling under the surface

- faust is on high alert

- slithers around your shoulders and squeezes you for a hug

- "friend! hurt!"

- doesn't immediately ask what happened, just gets you to a comfortable place to be cleaned up

- then, and only then, will he brave to ask what happened to you

- or who did this to you

- wipes the blood from your skin with very gentle swipes

- winces when you wince, and apologizes profoundly

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "i fell in the market, tripped over a stone"

- "and nobody helped you?"

- in this case he's disappointed with the bystanders, but does not become angry

- in a situation where someone hurt you?

- oh god

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "yeah, well, somebody had their eye on the same apple i picked up. somehow, though, they managed to push me to the ground and steal it from my hands."

- i don't even think he would know what to say

- and asra is not really the type to march out into the streets of vesuvia and seek to challenge the one who hurt you

- but he would certainly hold a grudge against whoever it was if he did find out

- and would feel absolutely awful about letting you get hurt

- his mind would race about the possibility of losing you again

- because he simply can't handle it

- and what if that person had been particularly violent or malicious? what if you had been taken??

- you'd have to comfort the hell out of him to make sure he knows that you're okay

- "asra, hey, i'm fine! i can handle myself, you know that"

- "you're right, and i know you're right. it's just hard"

- "it's still hard for me, too. the market still makes me a little nervous and i got caught a little off guard, is all"

- that would make him feel better

- would finish patching up your wounds and would make sure to bring you to julian the next day if they were too bad for him to fix or needed stitches

- would also create a special brew to help with the pain and ease you to sleep

- "why don't i go down to the market tomorrow?"

- "why? so when you pick a fight over apples, i can pay you back for all of this high quality medical treatment?"

- "well of course, surely you didn't expect all this tender love and care to be free" *wink*

- panicked doctor mode enabled

- immediately begins checking you over, asking questions

- something tells me it would be a head injury of some sort

- "oh darling, what happe- you're bleeding!"

- "julian, i'm okay! it's just a little scratch"

- "no no no you might need stitches, come sit down. i'll go get my kit!"

- there's really no use in arguing

- he has cold ass hands, so he tries to warm them up before he begins suturing the wound

- tries to be gentle, and his expert hands move quickly without any snagging

- "so, how did this happen?"

- his voice is literally trembling

- "well, i was in the clinic grabbing the list of ingredients we need for our next grocery trip and there was a puddle of... something on the floor. i slipped and hit my head on the corner of your desk"

- immediately thinks it's his fault

- like "oh shit i should have cleaned better that could have killed y/n and then what would i have done-"

- doesn't necessarily voice this, but you can tell by the silence that follows that he's feeling really guilty

- would kneel for you, head on your knees

- "y/n, i am so sorry"

- "juli, it's really okay, i should have watched where i was going"

- "i'll make sure to clean better from now on, okay?"

- would guard you throughout the night in case of concussion

- nurse juli <3

- but let's say someone had put their hands on you

- would patch you up the same way, and apologize profusely for not being there with you

- tuck you into bed and fetch mazelinka to keep an eye on you throughout the night incase of a concussion

- would most definitely be self destructive and seek that mf out

- maybe not successfully, but would try his hardest

- "i'll be back in the morning, get some rest"

- "I can find them myself if I want to, you know"

- embarrassed blush

- because he KNOWS you can take care of yourself

- "of course, but right now you're hurt. as your partner, i will do what must be done on your behalf darling"

- probably shows up the following morning with battle scars of his own

- the guards found you in the garden, passed out in the maze

- blood trickled down your arm, a large gash marking your bicep

- ran you up to the palace and immediately to the medical wing

- them]n nadia gets word

- the calm, collected queen act disappears

- abandons anything she's doing, anybody she's talking to

- "we will finish this at a different time, i have more important matters to attend to"

- she is so worried and it's honestly adorable

- very much giving "where tf are they?" energy

- god i love her so much

- anyways um

- asks the nurses over and over what happened, if you're okay, etc.

- watches the physicians and nurses like a hawk as they clean the wound and suture the cut

- and they're so intimidated lmao they never come face to face with her literally ever

- brushes your hair back from your face as they do so

- holds your hands

- would demand that you be brought to her sleeping chamber

- so that's where you wake up! how cute

- she's laying beside you, her brows furrowed

- maybe even her eyes are a little hazy

- "y/n, sweetheart, do you remember what happened?"

- patiently waits for your answer, you're still a little groggy

- you were either attacked by an animal and passed out from the fright

- or you were attacked by an armed person and was knocked out

- either way, the guards are on it

- nadia isn't letting whoever or whatever did this get away without a fight

- the palace is meant to be a safe haven for you

- for the both of you

- "well, don't you worry, we'll take care of that"

- you try to sit up but she won't let you

- "oh no, you must stay down, y/n. you are possibly concussed from the fall"

- "oh okay, sorry"

- "is there anything i can get you?"

- the countess of vesuvia, serving you in your time of need

- "just some water would be nice"

- "of course, i'll have some brought up right away"

- i literally feel like he would just start crying straight up

- cause like he has some problems anyway

- he big sad boi

- and you coming home to the hut bleeding from a gash in the arch of your foot is not helping

- picks you and carries you to the bed without a word

- just starts examining the cut

- inanna is also very concerned

- she licks the blood from the cut, she's trying to be helpful

- meanwhile muriel is stumbling around the hut looking for anything to stop the bleeding, disinfect it, bandage it, anything

- but he's not the best about keeping that stuff in stock

- keeps looking back at you with worry in his eyes

- he doesn't know what to do

- "muriel, let me see if i can contact asra. maybe he or julian can bring me a salve. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna need stitches"

- low-key makes him feel worse

- cause he feels like he's unable to care for you and keep your safe

- even tho this was just an accident

- he's breathing really fast, his anxiety creeping

- agrees anyway, but goes to get them himself

- "i'll be back soon, just keep this piece of cloth pressed against it"

- cause you're bleeding like a lot

- inanna stays behind

- he returns very quickly with julian in tow, though he doesn't look happy about it

- leaves the hut without another word

- julian gets to work immediately

- "so, you cut your foot i see"

- smartass.

- "yeah, muriel always tells me to put on shoes when i walk in the woods but i love to feel the grass beneath my feet"

- julian chuckled at this

- "and i'm assuming you, what, stepped on a rock?"

- "...yeah, sliced it right open"

- after julian is done cleaning up the cut, he tells you to just stay off of it for a while and make sure it doesn't get infected

- once he's gone, muriel trudges back into the hut

- "muriel, baby, it was just a cut it's not a big deal"

- but his eyes look hurt, and you beckon him toward the bed

- "hey," your hands on his cheeks, "i'm okay, really"

- "sorry, i just got scared. blood is still a trigger for me and since you got hurt in my woods, i felt like it was my fault"

- "muriel, of course it wasn't your fault"

- he really needed a hug

- after this instance, he made sure to keep medical supplies in the hut and you promised to try and wear shoes in the woods more often than not

- "i'll try my best to be more careful. deal?"

- sweet lil smile

- "deal."

- "oh my god, y/n, what the hell happened??"

- you were tending the garden

- without her supervision

- and the garden sheers might have sliced into the palm of your hand

- deep

- brings you over to the sink and runs water over the cut, covering it with a towel when the dripping blood had been washed away

- girl is on the move

- cause she knows what to do! love that

- low-key a main reason why julian managed to live as long as he has

- pepi is curiously perched atop one of the counters, peering down

- finds her personal first aid kit she had stashed in the bathroom

- guides you over to sit on the counter while she tries to figure out what to do

- "damn, you really cut yourself, y/n"

- "sorry! i think i just got a little carried away"

- she giggles at that, though she is still worried about the fact that it won't stop bleeding

- gently wraps the cut in gauze and adheres it together

- places a kiss to your fingertips

- "all done! no more gardening for you!"

- "hey, why not?"

- "well you don't want that cut to open back up again and again, do you?"

- "no"

- "alright then," she smiled, moving to put away the first aid kit again, "and we're going up to the palace medical wing first thing tomorrow morning to make sure it's not infected"

- eye roll

- "yes ma'am" you mocked

- even though you know it's just because she loves you

- "but since you got hurt, you want me to bake you some cookies?"

- "only if you let me eat the dough!"

- good god do i love this man

- but he is so self-absorbed it's actually insane

- and I feel like he wouldn't even notice at first

- cause he's too focused on himself

- gazing into the mirror without a care in the world when you walked in

- "y/n, thank goodness you're home, how do you feel about these pants?"

- you just hobbled to the nearest seat, hand resting over the gash on your knee

- mercedes and melchior were lazing across a rug at the base of his mirror, their attention set on you

- "u-um, yeah, they look good"

- literally just trying not to bleed out, over here

- "good? oh really, now, y/n don't they look amazing?"

- "yes, they look ama- ow, damnit"

- then he turned around

- immediate shock and worry! oh no oh no y/n is hurt!

- mercedes and melchior walked over first, whining as they took in the cut, brushing around the edges

- lucio raced over, squatting down in front of you, and began examining the cut

- "hey, hey, what happened?"

- "i accidentally tripped on my walk in the garden and scraped my knee on the cobblestone"

- he was lightly touching around the cut, gauging how sensitive it was

- when you flinched he stopped, looking into your eyes with a soft "sorry"

- "i think i need to go to the palace infirmary"

- "oh there's no need, i can take care of you!"

- you were not convinced he could take care of you, at least not well

- "uh, lucio, are you sure?"

- he looked slightly offended, at that

- "you know, y/n, i did fight in battles at one point. i have not only tended to my own wounds, but the wounds of others, as well"

- you giggled at the thought

- "much to your protest, though, i'm sure"

- he moved to the small cabinet of medical supplies in the ensuite to your bedroom, returning to your side with it in hand

- "at points, but i don't mind helping you in the slightest"

- for all of his antics, his soft side was enough to make you fall in love all over again

- and although i know he would take care of you in literally any situation, i can't say for certainty that he would stick around and place nurse lucio for long if a person had hurt you

- attacked you

- much like nadia, the guards would be sent out without a second thought, lucio leading the pack in the search for you aggressor

[mango-bango-bby]

NSFW alphabet for my loving husband yandere-worshiper Kai?🌚💜

♡ Yandere Overhaul NSFW Alphabet ♡

My worshipper husband 🥺💕💖

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) ♡

Kai is going to make sure you’re ok afterwards. Did he make you feel good? You weren't bleeding were you? He just makes sure you’re ok. Kai would love to stay and cuddle you but if you don’t want him too, he won’t. Kai understands if you don’t want him to dirty you more than he already has. But he really wants to cuddle and comfort you after.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ♡

On you, everything. You’re a goddess, you’re perfect and beautiful in every single way. On him, whatever you like best, is the thing he’s most proud of.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) ♡

No. Kai’s already dirtying you enough by just having sex with you, he wouldn’t want to taint you with his disgusting cum. Although if you want him to cum inside or on you, what kind of worshipper would he be if he refused his goddess?

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) ♡

Kai does have very impure thoughts about you from time to time. It’s normal but Kai’s very ashamed of thinking of his goddess in such a way. Thinking about you in such sexual and pervy situation.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) ♡

None whatsoever. Kai believes everyone is infected and sick, so why would he ever touch one of them? Let alone sexually touch them?! You’re the only pure person.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) ♡

Anything that you prefer. Kai would like to see your face, though. But, in the end, you’re a goddess and you should get whatever you want.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) ♡

No. None at all.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) ♡

Kai will honestly do whatever you want. If you don’t want him to have hair, he’ll shave. If you want him to have hair, he’ll let it grow (although the hair will be neatly trimmed)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) ♡

Kai wants to be extremely intimate with you. He wants to worship the hell out of you. You’re beautiful and need to be shown the love that you deserve. He’s not very romantic in his words, though. He uses very cold and clinical wording. Kai is very bad at dirty talk.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) ♡

Admittedly, Kai has masturbated to the thought of you. He’s very ashamed about it. He knows as a worshipper he shouldn’t be having such lewd thoughts about you. But sometimes the image of you nude consumes his brain and he needs to relieve himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) ♡

This should come as no surprise, Kai is into medical fetishism. He is technically a doctor and gives you checkups at least once a week. You look so gorgeous and pure in a hospital gown. He doesn’t like to admit he has a doctor kink. So he’ll just start fingering you, and saying it’s for an exam. You see through his lie fairly quickly.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) ♡

Your bedroom or his doctors office. Pretty much the only two room you’re allowed in. He would prefer your room though. Your bed is more comfortable for you. A goddess shouldn’t have to be fucked on a cold examination table.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) ♡

You. Just you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) ♡

Kai will not hurt you and will not let anyone see you. Everyone is disgusting and diseased, even him, therefore they shouldn’t even be near you. Kai doesn’t mind if you want him to top you or if you want him to be a little bit rough with you but he draws the line at hurting you. You’re to pure to be choked or spanked.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) ♡

Kai will give you oral but you can not give him oral. Lord knows what kind of bacteria lives down there and he doesn’t want you anywhere near it. Kai doesn’t mind eating you out, though. You’re pure! Although he’s not very good at giving you head...

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) ♡

Kai’s pace is mostly slow but hard. However, he will speed up the pace if you request so.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) ♡

No. You deserve the best, you deserve to be treated amazing and that means long passionate sessions.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) ♡

Kai is willing to do truly anything you want. He really tries his best to be the best worshiper possible. Kai wants to please you, show his goddess how much you mean to him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) ♡

Kai doesn’t have very much stamina. He can probably go around to your hree rounds before he’s tired. However if you want more, he’ll power through a few more rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) ♡

Haha, no. All you need is him. You don’t need anything else.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) ♡

Kai is very straightforward so if he’s going to tease you, it will be a complete accident. He’ll say accidental-teasing things like,

“You’re very wet, Y/n. You must be very aroused.”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) ♡

Kai is very very quiet n bed. Sometimes he’ll mutter out the occasional pet-name or praise. Sometimes he grunts and groans but it’s rare. Although he does breath very loudly and heavily.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) ♡

Kai is a virgin.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) ♡

Kai’s member is slightly longer than average. He’s also fairly muscular, although he doesn’t think so.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) ♡

Kai has a very low sex drive. It’s rare for him to get super horny. Usually you’ll have to initiate sex.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) ♡

Kai will wait until you fall asleep or if you want him to leave, he will. Or you can use him as your personal teddy bear! At least that’s what he would prefer. He will bathe all the disgust off of you before he puts you to bed.

[dinomight]

I’m literally about to be a whole slut in ur inbox because I love u and also WHUMP 👀👀👀👀

Ok the first one that caught my eye was #18 with Zhang Rishan/Liang Wan because I’m notoriously predictable but I will probably be BACK with more soon so feel free to ignore/do whichever ones speak to u!!

...slutspeare? being a whole slut? in my inbox? it's more likely than you think--

Anyways jokes aside sniffles ilyt thank you so much for sending these in! <33333 I had so much fun with this one you don't even know

Read on ao3 here.

18. The Doctor is In

“What,” Liang Wan says flatly, “is that.”

If she hadn’t seen him face down impossible horrors with nothing but his bare hands, maybe the innocently blank expression on Zhang Rishan’s face would work on her. But right now, with the throbbing gash in her leg, and the perfect view she has of the goddamn sewing needle and gold thread in his hands—Liang Wan is not amused.

“You need stitches,” explains Zhang Rishan, like she hadn’t been the one to say that all but two minutes ago.

She stares at him. The fabric of her favorite cream cardigan, currently tied around her thigh, is slowly turning red. “Yes. Stitches. With a sterilized needle. And sterilized thread. That is meant for stitches, and not embroidery.”

“...I’ve used these on myself before,” he says with a little frown, looking at the needle intently. “It worked fine.”

“How many—” A fresh wave of pain shoots through her thigh, and she has to bite her lip to keep from groaning. “Never mind, we’ll—later, later issue. I stashed a suturing kit in one of your weird cabinets the last time our date got interrupted.”

It’s a testament to how well he knows her by this point that he doesn’t have to ask any questions to know which one she means. He pulls out the kit and brings it over, crouching down next to her.

“Pull out the wipes first, I need to clean my hands before I put on the gloves,” Liang Wan says, holding one hand out as she runs through the steps in her head.

“No.”

Liang Wan blinks. “No?”

“You are not giving yourself stitches,” Zhang Rishan says—no, orders, in that firm tone she’s heard him use on Luo Que. He doesn’t wait for a response before starting to clean his own hands.

“But—” she splutters, pain temporarily forgotten as she shakes her head. “I’m the doctor!”

“And you’re the one who is injured,” comes the infuriatingly level reply, followed by the snapping of gloves on skin.

“Do you even know how to do stitches?”

He nods.

“With actual medical supplies?”

“I imagine it wouldn’t be harder than without them,” he points out, fixing her with that dark, unreadable gaze that hides a century’s worth of love and loss behind it. The look that Liang Wan’s been helpless against since she first met him. “Whatever I don’t know, you can teach me.”

She pouts, like she always does, but gives in. “Fine. But if it gets infected and I lose my leg, I’m going to make you carry me everywhere, president or not.”

The corners of his mouth tug back in that tiny hint of a smile that might as well be a grin coming from Zhang Rishan. “I wouldn’t dare assume otherwise,” he says as he readies the supplies.

It takes less time than she’d expected, though maybe that’s just her pain-addled mind playing tricks on her. Zhang Rishan is, as always, a quick study with his study, she walks him through the process twice before she has to curl forward, bracing one bloodied hand on his thigh, and just try to breathe, but he takes it smoothly from there. By the time it’s done, she’s shed more than a few tears and wants nothing more than to lie down right there, on the floor of Zhang Rishan’s office, and go to sleep.

She must’ve said the last part out loud, or else some part of her expression gave her away, because when he’s done packing away the kit, Zhang Rishan doesn’t hesitate before slipping one gentle arm around her back and the other under her knees, and scooping her up off the floor.

“My leg’s not gone,” she mumbles into the collar of his soft sweater. Distantly, she can still feel the ache in her thigh, but she’s so tired it can’t quite reach her.

“I know,” he says quietly, with a hint of amusement, bending down his head for a moment to brush his lips against her forehead, his grip not shifting in the slightest.

One of his hands is curled tight around her shoulder—it’s that shoulder, she realizes. There’s an instinctive part of her that wants to pull away, to hide, even though she knows the tattoo can’t possibly be visible with the shirt she has on. It wouldn’t matter if it was, though. Zhang Rishan’s seen it. He’s seen all the worst parts of her; he’s seen her jealous, angry, half-starved and terrified out of her mind, even seen her red-eyed and struggling to breathe through the pepper in her throat. To be fair, he’d been responsible for that last one, but still. He’s seen all of that, and he’s stayed.

“Thank you,” Liang Wan murmurs, not even sure he can hear her as he maneuvers them both into his room. But then comes his equally soft response:

“Always.”

[thekingsparty]

//ok so like, i’m not on a complete hiatus, but my time on the laptop is going to be limited for a little while, 2-6 weeks most likely. 

why, you ask? 

lemme tell you my story under the cut. (i’m sorry, it’s been a long few days and i’m feeling dramatic lol.) 

anyway, last week my left eye starting being a little weird. i get this every now and then, feeling like i got something in my eye, it’ll be tearing up, weak against light and all that jazz for a few days and be fine after. but after 2 days of it getting worse and starting to hurt, my mom noticed grey spots on my eye? on the pupil. on friday night, the pain was so bad i drove to the hospital because eyes are scary and after some waiting, i got a doc to see me. she told me that the bad pain was an infection in the eye, which ... ok, sure, i assumed something was up. but she also told me that the grey areas i have on both pupils, and that those were damaged cornea that kinda healed and got overgrown by blood vessels. she told me that it was most likely my eyes getting too dry and the cornea tearing and that it was a thing of years of it happening, likely due to a skin disease stopping my eyes from getting the fluid they need. 

she told me if i didn’t take this dead seriously that my eyes wouldn’t be holding on for much longer. so, safe to assume i got hella scared. 

first thing monday i went on a doctor hunt. due to covid pretty much every doc in the city has switched to appointed-only and appointments aren’t available until november. so me, who has the social skills of an egg plant had to go and beg for an emergency appointment. ofc i read up on docs and reviews and found like, dermatologists sending people with necrosis away and that didn’t really help my fear of doctors, or the fear of communicating with humans or y’know all that. 

the night before i managed to sneak in an appointment with a very fancy dermatologist who thankfully also sees insured ppl so i got lucky there and only had to worry about an eye doc before that. 2nd doc was the charm, i explained my case and with a little wait, i got to see the doc. the hospital forgot to give me like, my case result paper thing - so the doc had to look me over properly again and the medication that had confused her before suddenly made sense to her. (it’s apparently a very strong dose, i got 2 v expensive antibiotic eye drops i gotta use 5 times a day each, usually one of the 2 or a salve is prescribed) doc lady like.. exhaled sharply when she checked my eye under that blue light thing as apparently my cornea is torn and badly infected+inflamed in 2 places and not just the eye like the hospital said. so, because my vision on the eye is down to 20% of normal she also prescribed me antibiotic salve for the night, more drops and the urgent demand i come see her before my appointment on wednesday next week if anything feels wonky. the eye drops burn the life outta me and the salve is weird lol. so i’m like in constant discomfort or pain rn. 

it’s apparently gonna be weeks till it’s even remotely close to starting to healing and in the meantime i gotta try and be gentle with it. hence the low screen time i got planned. i got exams coming up which will put strain on my eyes too so ye. 

i got to my new dermatologist who got kinda upset at first that hospital blames my eye issues on a skin disease without being dermatologists lol, but when he checked my face, he understood. (it kinda fits, cause 2-3 years i’ve been in pain and suffering bc of my face and that’s about as long as eye doc said my eyes have been suffering.) apparently i got rosacea, the kind that is in your genes and breaks out in “young women in their mid-20s” ... and i was like 25 when it started bc ofc. >_> so, bc i don’t take meds when the eye stuff isn’t a thing, dermatologist wants to try an internal way of dealing with it. my skin’s already kinda damaged af so he wants to go all out lol. thing is, it’s a strong antibiotic and i’m taking all those drops and salve that are antibiotic so i gotta wait and get by with hydration for the eyes for now. >_>

anyway, yeah... not gonna lie but i’m super glad i was brave enough to go to the hospital bc every day mattered and i caught it before it got too late. normal me would’ve waited... and waited. anyway, yeah, so that’s it. eyes are important so i gotta sacrifice tumblr time for a while.. i love u all <3 and i’ll be on phone and disco, just not writing much due to me needing constant screen breaks.