#do you really think JK would do that to us
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ohnoitstbskyen · 10 hours ago
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Ok so I’ve had this question for a while and I feel like you’ll be able to give me a good answer. I understand that we’re absolutely not supposed to support anything JKR does monetarily and I never intend to do so. However is engaging with Harry Potter media *at all* also something I should not do or is it only things that give her money?
Like, would there be anything wrong with me playing Hogwarts Legacy if I pirated it? Is fanfiction and fan art ok to consume? Or is engaging with the IP at all going to be harmful in a way that I don’t see atm?
Thank you for your time!
I don't really think a cis person is the right person to ask about this, but I also know that trans people are sick to death of having to field these questions so I'll do my best to answer this, if everyone who reads my answer will promise me that you will NOT use anything I say in this post as an annoying argument against a trans person who has a different opinion on the matter. Remember whose opinions are actually important here.
And look, number one, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Nobody can stop you. If you, in yourself, in your soul, feel morally comfortable consuming Harry Potter by some convoluted method of Ethical Consumption™, then go and do that, and own it, and have the strength to be judged for your decisions.
Trans people might not trust you - hell, I'll probably not trust you either. They might get angry at you, and criticize you, or roll their eyes and call you a fucking loser. If you have the moral conviction that what you are doing is right, and that you are acting in accordance with your beliefs and you are not doing harm, then stand by that conviction and face the consequences. Have that strength of character.
But if you feel the need to go around posting and arguing that it's unfair, that you shouldn't be judged, that you should get to be a special exception and people are unreasonable when they get mad at you... then that is evidence, proof positive, that you are a fucking loser. That you are cowardly, and you don't actually believe that what you are doing is right, you just want the world to affirm your fragile ego while you enjoy your little treats.
To be clear, I am not accusing you of doing this (you seem to just earnestly be asking for guidance), but there's a hell of a lot of people who do do this, and you don't want to be one of them.
So that's number one. Do whatever the fuck you want, and face the consequences with a spine.
Number two is... just fucking drop it. That is my earnest advice to you. Just fucking drop Harry Potter. They are children's books from the early 2000s, they just are not that fucking good or important. The Hogwarts Legacy game is live service slop; the movies are passable at best and their quality comes from the actors being better than the source material. Just drop it. Harry Potter has nothing to offer that you can't get elsewhere from better media with better authors, or problematic authors who have good grace to at least be dead.
Don't waste your life thinking about complicated ways to circumvent the moral problem of JK Rowling's rancid transphobic hate-aura at the center of the franchise, don't waste your finite time on Earth trying to thread that stupid needle. Harry Potter isn't worth this. Rowling is old, and shriveling from hate and mold fumes, at the very least just wait for her to fucking die, and for her political project to fail, before you pick that world back up again.
I speak as someone who read the first book at age 11, hyperfixated on relating to Harry, and whose entire cultural life was consumed by the franchise for over a decade. It is not worth it. You don't need it, you don't need the stress of trying to navigate how or whether to engage with it ethically. You almost certainly have an enormous backlog of other books, games, movies and TV shows you've been meaning to get around to, so just go do that instead. I promise you it will be infinitely more rewarding, and infinitely less compromised by stress and guilt and cognitive dissonance.
And while you're at it, send some money to a trans charity and go scream invectives at a transphobic politician some time.
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lizardsfromspace · 1 day ago
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Talking about Chris Columbus made me think about what was probably the most prophetic part of JK Rowling's bad wizard books at the time
If you go back to coverage from the time (which I did verifying the info in the Chris Columbus post, discovering this) you see that she wanted a capital-d Director for it. A visionary auteur worthy of her wizard book for children. She wanted Terry Gilliam; the studio said no. She wanted Guillermo del Toro; he said no. She wanted Steven Spielberg; he said yes, then dropped out due to "creative differences" (he wanted to do it as an animated film, and chose to make A.I. instead). Then with the third movie, they landed one: Y tu mamá también director Alfonso Cuarón. At last, she would get to see what it was like for a visionary creative to tackle her work, as she wanted all along
And when it came out, there was one problem. The reviews were really, really good...and all of them were praising Alfonso Cuarón. They were saying that he had added so much to the wizarding world of JK Rowling (TM). Some were even implying he handled the material better than she did, and a few were saying that outright, because it was true
Suddenly, the prospect of her work being handled by a Visionary Aueteur was less appealing. Cuarón couldn't give less of a shit, he went off to make Children of Men, so strange how basically everyone involved in the bad wizard movies used the money from it as a springboard to kickstart a successful career doing shit they actually care about it except its writer. So two movies later, we meet David Yates, whose filmography looks like this
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He does have works other than this - all of it on TV. Miniseries/TV movies and TV episodes. Though his only TV work since Harry Potter was one TV pilot.
Someone who had spent years talking about her hopes that Spielberg or Gilliam or del Toro or M. Night Shyamalan would add their Visionary Touch to her books was now happy having some random TV director handle everything forever. A random TV director who hardly does anything except Harry Potter. Whose career depends on her and her series. Anyway I'm sure she just really liked his miniseries about human trafficking a lot
It reminds me of when the director & writer of the first 50 Shades movie did a lot of editing to remove the unnecessary guff that was only in the book bc it was in the original fanfic - like pointless side characters who were only around bc they were a Twilight character in the original - & make it work better as a film, and then E.L. James fired everyone and had her husband write the sequels so they wouldn't ruin her baby. JK Rowling really wanted the prestige of her movie being made by a Steven Spielberg but didn't realize that a director like that would alter the material for film even when adapting a good book. She just wanted a famous person to enthusiastically co-sign that her book was very good and perfect and required not one change before becoming a classic of cinema. Meanwhile Alice Walker, Michael Crichton, Philip K. Dick and H.G. Wells are all better writers than JK Rowling, and none of them were granted that level of deference
Anyway who could have foreseen that the writer who made sure her film series was made as bland as possible after having one director actually dare to change and adapt her work would one day get so mad at her movie's cast no longer speaking with her she tries to remake the whole series to "replace" them
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slaaverin · 13 hours ago
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As a newish fan, so since 2023, the solo era, I have to say I cannot believe way this fandom operates. I know there are cultural differences between us all the world over, and then differences between us and the members. But we are all human, and humans tend to have very similar emotions/traits no matter what. So in that case, how can people willingly believe that JM and JK are with any other member but each other. Because from what I see, and what I would do, would it not be beyond odd, and/or disrespectful to that ‘other’ partner, to enlist together?
From my observations we have people who genuinely believe this, that they are with x and y member, and then another fraction of the fandom who thinks that they are closer to someone else in the group if only as friends, so vmin for example.
But that just isn’t true is it, because if it was, they surely for scenario a) would have enlisted with said other person/alone, or scenario b) with the person they are closer too?
Because there are Army who say ‘soulmates’ don’t separate, that are ignoring the fact they chose to willingly separate themselves – not just during enlistment, but prior.
The elephant in the room being these men are all really good friends, family even, but they have their own lives, just like us. Private lives that we are not privy to, but it is the absolute truth that JM and JK made a very private decision to enlist, together, and I cannot fathom as a new fan how the fandom cannot admit and see that. It is the truth, there is no other option, again as human beings, their choice means only one thing – they are the closet. Because if they weren’t – this would not have happened. It was a physical choice, an adult choice to do what they did.
It’s not a case of ‘oh JM would rather have gone with V, or JK with RM’ if they wanted to do that as the grown ass men they are, they would have.
If that was m, in the same position, I would not stand for the nonsense, I would put everyone in their place.
The pervasive narratives have gone on long enough, and I think honestly to move forward, to somehow create a better fandom, boundaries need to be put in place, and ‘truths’ told (no, I am not talking about anything wild).  
By truth I mean that no hate should be tolerated towards any of the members based on bizarre fandom narratives, ships and lies.
I agree with you anon,
The fact they enlisted is an indisputable fact and proof they are the closest and there is nothing that can disprove this moving forward.
Unfortunately haters shippers and whoever else don't care about facts at all since they are led by their own selfish desires - that don't match the current reality.
It's simply hopeless to expect otherwise.
Best we can do is call out the lies, report & block and focus on spreading jikook's good energy out into the world.
As for calling them out of course I agree that it would be great and a part of me hopes that Jungkook has enough of it at some point and snaps. But there's also the possibility it never happens for several reasons so I'm not too certain about that.
Most likely they will let things go as it is and do their thing as they've always done.
But maybe I'm wrong.
We have to wait&see to find out.
I think that the "jikook karma" smashing into their faces everytime shippers&haters move is already a good punishement lol
And they are going to suffer oh so much more once jikook are out.
Let's be patient and wait with popcorn 👀
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ineffablehusbandsshipper · 4 months ago
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Weasley Family + Harry Holiday Hcs
Every year the entire family will have a competition to see who can get Arthur the most bizarre rubber duck for Christmas.
Molly doesn't actually cook most of her holiday feasts. She buys the turkeys and side dishes from a nearby muggle supermarket because it's hard to cook everything for ten people.
Bill flirts with Harry every time he sees him just to confuse Ron.
At one point Charlie tried to bring an adolescent (and very well behaved) dragon into the burrow, but it didn't fit through the door.
Percy, despite the Scrooge exterior, does actually very much enjoy spending time with *most* of his family.
Fred and George spend every holiday together because they both definitely survived the battle of Hogwarts and I'm not delusional haha.
Ron spends the holiday season trying to make sure Harry feels more loved than what the Dursley's gave him.
Ginny trys to help Ron.
Christmas at the Burrow was one of the first times Harry ever felt included and part of a family.
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thecoolerliauditore · 2 years ago
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beauty of the divorce quartet actually is that no matter where you draw the relationship lines you get a fun and fucked up dynamic to think about
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pens-and-paperbacks · 5 months ago
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"Vander and Silvo grew up like brothers! Them being together is weird!"
Ok, listen. You're valid, but listen. In the original universe we get, I completely agree. Vander nearly killing Silco and them fighting for dominance of Zaun is brother vs brother, power vs power activity. I don't think that universe went any further. There was no room for it to go beyond that betrayal and bitter feelings.
Within the Timebomb universe however I think they became something more after reconciling.
The letter was found, they talked it out, probably fought (which, head cannon, probably left Vander with a new scar somewhere we didn't see) but after that I think they saw each other in a new light. They were now on completely even footing, fighting for the exact same vision of Zaun in the exact same way, through peace vs violence because now they've seen what violence brings and they don't want that to happen ever again.
They don't want to lose each other again.
They only really had each other, Powder and Vi to take care of after losing their parents, which is what probably got them thinking about being together as a couple of they hadn't been thinking about it already.
I just can't read their reactions/looks in that universe in any other way. It's just too tender? I just look at them looking at each other and see, "unwavering devotion."
Two kings rule over Zaun in that universe and they're very happily married, despite everything that's happened. Because how could they not be after everything that's happened?
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whattheskyknows · 2 months ago
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Was toying with the idea of planning a despair disease fic and it's turned into an entire chapter 3 rewrite,,, I don't know how this happened??
#strong emphasis on planning a fic because I'm burnt out beyond belief 😔#I was kinda like I wanna maybe write something using the despair disease one day#originally I wanted it to be during the first chapter but then I wanted to include oumota because of course I do#so I thought setting it during chapter 3 would make more sense because Kaito and Kokichi would've had more time to know and hate each other#then I started thinking about drv3 chapter 3 in general and realised how pointless the motive was because it wasn't?? really used??#then I started thinking about how much of a mess chapter 3 was in general because?? it started with removing Monokuma#then introducing a motive that?? literally wasn't used?? and did not motivate anyone??#monokuma got lucky korekiyo decided to just?? seesaw I guess#ANYWAY I thought despair disease would be a better chapter 3 motive because its technically a much more brutal time limit#and I absolutely love the idea of Korekiyo hunting down the monokubs for more information about the despair disease#because it shouldn't exist and yet it does?? as an anthropologist Korekiyo wants answers#I wanted to give the disease to Gonta Miu Himiko Shuichi Maki and Kokichi so it took out half the group#oh yeah I also wanted to use this fic as a chance to write Kaito and Tenko being friends and working together because#I love their friendship#kaito wants to save his sidekicks and tenko wants to save himiko#haha what if they planned to work together and plan a reverse hangar to save everyone haha jk unless??#also want the chance to write Angie because she's so interesting#I also want to give Kokichi a certain disease which I think will be the last disease anyone will expect him to have#which will help strengthen kaito and kokichi's relationship#but yeah for now this is just a?? idk what to call it?? me daydreaming??#you know what at least this hasn't turned into my 3rd Danganronpa rewrite lmfao
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birb--birb · 4 months ago
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Soooooo I did lich emmrich...for science..
AND IM SORRY I DONT LIKE IT HOW IS IT MORE COMON THAN SAVING MANFRED??????????
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flour-is-a-spice · 7 months ago
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The potential friendship between Connor and North is something that really interests me. Would she ever trust truly him? And if she did, what would their dynamic be?
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bmpmp3 · 8 months ago
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genbu ai has been found dead in miami.
#JK JK this is really exciting im glad kotarous getting an ai singing bank first#the whole point of virvox is a variety of masc synth voices after all and hes got like a really interesting voice#like his goofy very character-y tone is pretty unique so thats gonna be pretty fun#i seriously would have thought ryuusei would be the first tho. mostly just because hes so popular#but then again his voice provider might be busy. hes doing a lot of vtuber stuff and theres the upcoming aivoice2 talk bank#and yeah i didnt think genbu would be first LOL i prophesized this......#i mean i didnt know for sure but i did think it would be kind of funny. and it is kind of funny <3#also low key... i wouldnt be surprised if they gotta hold off for a bit. genbu might be cursed? they have been so so SO unlucky with him#king of software deprecation. king of contracts falling through. hes trying. hes trying#so i was like okay the first ai singing bank might not be him KJDSHJfdsjhkfds#besides as much as i would like an ai bank for benby (i would selfishly prefer a SV bank specifically so i can have my SV conveniences LOL)#im pretty satisfied with his concatenative. if you havent noticed <3#also selfishly i hope the next singing bank announcement (whenever that is) will be sourin. i think hes another really unique vocal#and also i want that old man. i need that old man. who said that#but any of them im exicted for. the younger guys kotarou and takuto i think about a little bit less often than the others#but i still like em a lot so it'll be fun to have that (not)catboy around#when we get more info i may start planning out some songs for him to cover.... ruh roh im already considering a few....#edit: im hoping SV because i like it but i'll be fine with any engine. except someone reminded me ace studio exists#i went from no fear to one fear in seconds flat. nothing against the software ive never used it its just#subscription software is not something i can do orz. please anything but that. i will be happy with anything but that LOL
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smol-tired-binch-blog · 2 years ago
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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
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thetangibleghost · 7 months ago
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I gotta confess it is so much more fun talking to Sal as if he is a separate person like he wants and not a member of the system. He's super creative like. Its just fun.
#It was hard to understand because they were wrapping up a bunch of stuff kinda fast. and it seemed like they were introducing new#things too? The fight scenes were cool.#person with Delusional Disorder: so hear me out#playing a dangerous game#Were bonding over sailor moon#JK btw like dont worry. The delusions dont really work like that. You could say i guess that thats his personal delusion?#idk its kind alike a severity scale MOST if not all of us have the truman show delusion. to some degree in some form. the specifics very#and then certain alters have additional delusions.#there all pretty bizarre. like I think thats the category you could put pretty much all of them in#which is interesting#some of them are more whatever the one where you think people are after you is called#so technically we would be mixed type? but idk if we would even fall into the type-able like... because the way it interacts with our DID#at first i thought my therapist was totally bullshitting this but the longer im like. living alone away from family the more sense this#diagnosis makes?#esp cause last time i googled it there was like. no fucking info. jut the wiki page about how this disorder gets misdiagnosed in people who#are part of grand conspiracies and how when thats not the case theyre basically just doing it to them selves :/#but i guess theres more research now? or something because now theres like medical articles!! and they make way more sense and actually#align with what we experience so thats super cool#its still kinda like. Huh??? but i guess it runs in families and i can totally think of several family members who i think have this#I also had drug induced psychosis i think. so- interesting how my therapist was able to parse that. i should text him.#omg yeah so apparently Sal (or specifically one of his alters) has seen just the end and ive seen just the beginning!!#i know thats so silly and like. Too Perfect. kind of thing but its fun!!!!! He said it was confusing and he liked it but it took him a#couple watches to know what was going on.#he actually didnt know what season he had seen (other than it definitely wasnt the first one lol) so i read through the ep titles until#he reconized them. he stilll didnt reconize them really but like half way through the last season (I went out of order) he was like#“this sounds sorta right. there was a lot of space fighting and stuff”#he had to think about it for a minute because i guess he just hadnt consider that that was the end#he was relieved to hear that theres specials and stuff after#but maybe hes lying 0-0 thats always interesting !!!!#syst
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minbon · 3 months ago
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🐰 JJK Fics 🐰
a.k.a. the fics that introduced me to a whole new obsession.
or in other words... i thought i was never into jjk, but these fics proved me wrong 😩😩😩
°°°°°°•
One Night Stand by @buryhny (ceo!jk, a,f,s, pregnancy, slowburn) ["wanna go upstairs?"]
Sweet & Spicy by @ktownshizzle (fluff, idol!au, strangers to ?) [“Are you also on the menu?”] (this is a drabble to K's T&C)
Play pretend ! by @frmisnow (smut, angst , fwb) ["Fuck, I think I like you"]
Just a Veil by @jjungkookislife (430 words BUT the angst in here???) ["You would never be Jungkook’s bride."]
Navigating Tides by @jjungkookislife (exes to lovers, a, f, s) [“Let’s make up for lost time.”]
RUN [ I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII] by @neonlights92 (arranged marriage, gang au) [“I suppose I should welcome you to the family, ...Mrs Jeon.”]
Colour Me In by @taegularities (fwb, fake dating, college!au; f, a, s) ["I need you to be my boyfriend. Please.”]
Ruin you (ft. kth) by @taegularities (established relationship, fwb; f, a, s) [“Do you really want that so bad?”]
Mature by @jiminrings (angst, fluff, f2l) ["What I'm not okay with is that you didn't even give me the chance.” ]
fifth wish by @jiminrings (a,f, unrequited love (at first)) [“For us to never see each other again.” ]
how long will we fall by @jiminrings (soulmate au, unrequited love (at first), a, f) [“What happens if your soulmate doesn’t want you?” ]
Chasing Cars by @oddinary4bts (brother's best friend, s, a, f) [“You fucking touch her, you’re dead.”]
tolerate it by @back2bluesidex (angst, breakup) [Yes. Yes you are not her. ]
Poison by @back2bluesidex (s, a, unrequited love) [“I pick my poison and it’s you.” ]
and they were roommates (ft. kth) by @hoseok666 (college au, sloooooowburn) [“Hi, new roommate!”]
WINE Series by @hoseoksluna (smut) [“If I were to have a glass of wine with you.. Then, there would be no party to go to.”]
Little Juice (WINE drabble) by @hoseoksluna (smuuuuut) [“You must be thirsty after all that dancing”]
Mutual help by @personasintro (fakedating au, slow burn, a, s, f) ["Can you pretend to be my girlfriend?" ]
Pour up (ft. kth) by @jungkxook (smuuuut) ["Pour up, baby girl.”]
Maid for you (ft kth) by @forgottenpasta (smuuuut, dvp) ["Will you let me clean you up, doll?”]
Just Friends by @kinktae (bf2l , s, f, a) ["You just love to run your mouth, don't you, baby girl?"]
Clandestine by @junghelioseok (f,s, brother's bestfriend) [“I knew you were into me.”]
••••••°
H A P P Y R E A D I N G (~°○°~)
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heegyukeluv · 5 months ago
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complementary - the physics of your body [part 1] (sjy)
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pairing: brother's best friend!jake x afab!reader
synopsis: The thermodynamics of your bodies together, the sound wave of your moans, the gravity that pulled you towards each other. You were a perfect combination, the right equilibrium, complementary.
my's note: i had to break this work into two parts due to the size of it, i'm so sorry. i'll post the part 2 in a few days! my longest (and dirtiest) work lol. i used some physics concepts but funny thing hah i know nothing about physics SO PLEASE don't think too much into it... also don't know if i'd commit this much with a fic if wasn't for ari freaking out whenever I teased to add something new so please everyone say thank you ari! <3 on a side note: this is especially for her. i love you, ari 💞
warnings: mention of trauma from parents, jay is y/n’s older brother, jake is jay's best friend and three years older than the reader, physics stuff lol, reader blushing/turning red!, drama/arguments, fluff, angst a little (with happy ending!!), pet names (babe, doll, good girl...) SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!!), oral (m.), choking, jk cum inside, gag, overstimulation (m.). lmk if i missed something!
wc: 27k.
NOT PROOFREAD.
taglist 💖: @yvnempire, @marigold-sunflowers
“I know that delaying it seemed the right thing to do at the time, but I don’t think you can run away from physics anymore, kiddo.”
As your eyes rolled, annoyed with the nickname, you smacked the pizza dough into the cold marble, kneading it to make it perfectly soft. The inner core of your stomach tightened with the reminder, bringing a bitter taste on the back of your throat that made you gulp.
“I’m literally in my second year in college and you’re still calling me that.”
Your muttered words elicited an immediate laugh from Jay, your big brother, who had his body resting on the door frame while watching you across the kitchen, panicking over the fact that you would finally have to deal with your biggest fear in school, by choosing to randomly make pizza at 4pm on a thursday.
‘It helps me to destress,’ you explained once. ‘To smack something that’s not someone’s face.’
“You’d always be my kiddo,” he answered back fondly, yet with a hint of mocking, as he moved to sit at the kitchen peninsula chair. 
Jay never really raised a question over your decisions and behaviors, applauding and supporting you every time while shooting loving eyes towards you whenever you were around doing your silly little things; just like now, as he followed your movements, a bit concerned with your deep frown and how quickly your hands worked on the dough, but nearby just in case you needed some help.
Over the years, the two of you shared a strong, healthy bond, especially within the walls of the house you grew up in.
Having wealthy parents came with its perks and its drawbacks, but for you, the drawbacks often outweighed the rest. Pursuing a dream that didn’t align with your dad’s expectations felt almost like a betrayal of your family’s values, as if you were intentionally choosing to disappoint them by turning away from the prospect of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or even a future CEO of the family company.
Some would say you were crazy for challenging yourself into a rougher path, giving away the possibilities of a stable life to pursue your real dreams. However, it didn’t sound right for you to live a life without your wills being the main worry of it, forcing yourself to fit a model instead of creating your own.
Amidst the chaos you grew up in, Jay was always there to hold you close and feel proud with your achievements, protecting and looking after you.
He would drive you to your classes every morning when he started high school and you were still finishing middle school, buy you expensive gifts, and take you to fancy restaurants for your birthday. He always had his bedroom’s door unlocked for you to come when you felt like crying in the middle of the night because of something shitty your parents screamed at you. He never minded skipping work or classes if it meant staying home to take care of you when you were sick. And he had no issue scaring away any guy who, in his eyes, never seemed to be worthy enough of you.
You couldn’t help but laugh whenever his protective tactics worked, knowing that, deep down, your brother was just a big softie, never ever daring to kill an insect and crying over romantic movies.
Moving in with him always sounded right, it was part of your big plans; finish school, get into college and share an apartment with your brother, who would be just wrapping up his own studies.
Jay offered you the reliability you needed.
He was three years older than you, now working as a CEO in one of your family’s company subsidiaries after finishing administration school, and tried his best to give you everything you wanted and needed to live a good, comfortable life at least until you achieved your goal and stability by yourself, not wanting for your to do side jobs and focus only on studying.
Jay never cared much about doing it for him, choosing to pamper you to the brim without asking for anything back, even though you unconsciously paid with your happiness.
Due to your tough relationship with your parents, you never really took it for granted, working hard to keep yourself steady enough to live alone if you need to – Jay, on the other hand, would move mountains for that never to happen.
Jay fought for his place in the world with a little less struggle than you, and he blamed himself for it to some extent.
Your parents beamed with joy when he announced he would be studying business administration; you still remember that night of celebration, with your father practically glowing with happiness – the kind of happiness you knew you would never be able to give him, since you wanted to follow the artistic path of the spectrum.
Eventually, with your decision’s outcome, Jay made it his mission to take care of both of you, because he understood that life had been unfair to you. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t want to follow the pattern they had set out for you based only on their expectations. You didn’t deserve to hear the hurtful words your parents threw at you, expressing their disappointment and sadness over who you had become.
Jay, however, admired the incredible woman you had turned into, in awe of your strength to keep fighting for your dreams, and he worked tirelessly to ensure you were safe, sound, and happy.
Now, you were in your second year in college, studying fine arts with Jay’s unwavering financial support; he offered you a comfortable place to live, covered your tuition and fees, food, clothes, and even your materials and books without bothering to ask for anything back in return.
The only thing he wanted was for you to concentrate on your studies and be happy.
And focus you did, although you had postponed as much as you could to finish a part of the core curriculum.
After everything you had been through, you could honestly say that physics was your biggest – and most frustrating – enemy. 
You hated physics with passion, never understanding why the fuck you had to study it.
The speed of the light? Why bother? You would never use it to measure anything in your everyday life anyway. And gravity? Yeah, you knew it kept you grounded on Earth, but it sure didn’t help you keep your steps steady. You were constantly tripping over your own feet.
It just never made sense to you. It only made you want to scream in frustration, tearing at your hair with every weird equation and choice of words to explain annoying, bullshit stuff.
“I just hate physics,” you groaned, breath heavy as your anger increased; a few strands of hair fell messily across your face, making the whole situation worse. “I hate it,” you muttered, punching the dough harder. Jay laughed. “Hate it, hate it, hate it!” You repeated, each word punctuated by another angry smack against the poor pizza dough.
Jay, trying to hide his grin, shook his head. "I don’t think the pizza dough has anything to do with your physics situation," he teased.
As much as he loved you, he was your brother and would always find a way to taunt your nerves before really offering a helping hand. 
A deep sigh escaped your lips as you fluttered your eyes close and threw your head back. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, a mix of irritation and helplessness washing over you working as a perfect mix to send you to the edge of losing control, and you wondered why you got so triggered over such a trivial thing.
Then, it clicked. Of course, trauma from your parents. 
You had always pushed yourself over the limit to be better, to get the highest grades and do your absolute best in school, only to feel frustrated when you couldn’t achieve perfection.
In your parents’ eyes, you would never be good enough no matter how many perfect scores you aced on exams and assignments.
In college, despite moving out of their house and ending contact almost entirely, you still held yourself to the same impossible standards, sometimes even worse.
Confronting a subject where you knew you couldn’t be the best felt like a trigger, a reminder of everything you had been told over the years.
Useless. Incapable. Insufficient.
You automatically remembered last night, when you sat at your desk, eyes wandering over the physics textbooks sprawled open on the surface, words coming in a blur. You couldn’t pinpoint when exactly it was due to your incapacity to understand them or to your tears that flowed easily after some minutes sitting in trance.
The weight was almost suffocating and you called it a day when your hands started to tremble and your body ached for rest, feeling extra tired just by… staring.
You rested your hips on the cold marble, blinking your eyelids open to glance at your brother. He had now a softened expression, calm and fond, hands comfortably placed on the countertop.
“I think I’m just oversensitive,” you said, voice barely above a whisper as your hands now played with the dough absentmindedly, eyes slowly lowering to watch how your fingers disappeared into the soft white mixture. “Y’know, our parents they…” You trailed off, not really wanting to verbalize your thoughts.
“Yeah,” Jay nodded, sighing. The knot in his heart tightened seeing you so pouty, understanding from how deep and particular your frustration came. “Listen, I know you hate it, but you have to at least do the minimum to pass. You don’t have to ace it all.” Jay spoke while standing up to wrap around the counter and stand by your side, his body resting on the counter as well. 
You leaned into the touch when he caressed your hair, your whole body shifting to a less tense figure.
Jay tilted his head forward enough to search for your sad, puppy eyes. Suddenly, an insight crossed his mind and his lips curved into a smile.
“I have a friend,” he said and you finally glanced at him. The unexpected mention of his friend and how he sounded like having a great idea sparking your curiosity. “I think he’d love to help you.”
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“So, I invited the guys over,” Jay said while placing some beers on the minifridge near the entrance of your shared living room. You were standing up awkwardly in the middle of the room, eyes following Jay’s excited figure as he organized the house to welcome his friends. “And while me, Heeseung and Sunghoon do something fun, you and Jake can do the boring stuff.”
Jay had a plan, a solid one. And in any other circumstance you wouldn’t be so nervous about it. 
It was just another regular Friday. It was also routine for you to go out with your friends to some bar, club, or even have a girls' night at someone's house, while Jay would head to the house his friends shared.
Jay always used the excuse that he would rather keep the house free for you or not bother you, especially on those nights when you would choose to stay home to relax or study, though part of you suspected that sometimes he was actually heading to a girl's house and just didn’t want to tell you.
Either way, today felt different.
It all started with him inviting the guys over to his place instead of the other way around, followed by a surprisingly sweet request for you to stay in and not go anywhere.
Soon after, he revealed his plan: he, Sunghoon, and Heeseung would play video games in the living room while you and Jake studied physics in some other corner of the house. He promised they would keep the noise down so as not to disturb you.
As said before, in any other situation you wouldn’t be reacting the way you were; hands sweating, heart pumping loudly in your eardrums, head spinning. But in other situations there was no Jake in the equation.
Sim fucking Jaeyun, also known as Jake, was one of Jay’s closest friends, acting as much as siblings as you two.
They met in school and hadn't left each other’s side ever since, sharing hundreds of stories together, with a bunch of adventures and countless funny moments. You closely watched them grow up and accomplish things side by side, constantly attending Jake's birthday parties and other of his family’s events, even participating vividly on some of the “boy’s night” in your house where you crushed them in the video games they choose to play, always eliciting surprised sounds from Jake followed by compliments excitedly said, that, at some point, started to make you feel things.
When Jay moved out to start college, you were left alone at the house that aimed to destroy your dreams and, indirectly, you, having to deal with a lot on your own, constantly hearing the harsh words from your parents and having to lower your head without the courage to fight back, because Jay wasn’t there to defend you anymore.
Jay’s routine became heavy, as he landed an internship early during his second year that consumed most of his time, barely having minutes to talk to you over the phone, moments where you opted to listen to his news and college life instead of filling him with your teenager suffering bullshit. 
On the other hand, Jake, who was also in college, had way more free time. Whenever he went back to visit his own parents, he would set a time to take you out on weekends, helping you clear your head by treating you with some ice cream and any other snacks you wanted while listening to your concerns.
You grew really close to Jake during your high school years, noticing the genuine attention he gave you. Jake would always be close to you as a protective older brother, someone who looked out for you and took good care of you, a very trustworthy and sincere friend.
And yet, you always, always felt guilty for letting your feelings for him go beyond “just friends.”
Jake was the same age as Jay – three years older than you, three years more experienced, three years more everything. He was, now, a man. A very attractive, hot, appealing man. 
You had the chance to watch Jake grow up right before your eyes, transforming from a good-looking teenager into a charming young man. He had an irresistible smile, warm brown eyes that radiated kindness and sweetness, and a genuine aura that permeated his personality – always wanting to help others in the most caring way possible.
He was friendly, easygoing, sociable, and intelligent.
And when you saw him blossom, it was impossible not to feel completely captivated.
You vividly remember the time your brother posted a photo with his friends at the beach, and there was Jake, shirtless, showing off his toned, slightly sun-kissed body to the world. At that time you were already in your first year of college, while he was finishing up his own studies deep into the engineer life he chose to live. 
Your relationship had cooled off a bit, as his academic demands increased and his visits became less frequent, until you eventually moved in with your brother. You assumed you would see Jake more often, but, for reasons unknown, Jay rarely invited his friends over to visit and Jake never really reached out for you.
It became awkward.
You attended parties with your brother and met Sunghoon and Heeseung, Jay’s college friends, that created a unique bond despite having known each other for less time. The four of them became as close as family, and Jay made sure his friends knew you in order to keep you safe when he wasn’t around, constantly allowing them to pick you up on your way back home due to some unexpected schedule that kept him from doing it himself, for instance.
Jake, however, became distant. He would always have excuses not to do any of that and whenever you saw him at parties, he would at most give you a forced smile and a slight, polite nod, quickly diverting his path and avoiding you for the rest of the night.
It was painful in a way, especially since now that you were grown you realized your chances with him might actually be within reach. 
As a teenager, your crush was as subtle as possible, aware that neither Jake nor Jay would ever approve of any kind of relationship between the two of you, so you never truly considered anything happening.
But now you had become a woman. And a relatively attractive one, if you did say so yourself. So, just as physics had never made sense to you, Jake’s reaction to your presence had become just as baffling, until eventually you buried your feelings completely and moved on.
At least, that’s what you thought – until Jay came up with this wild idea of having Jake as your physics tutor.
You gulped down your nervousness for the probably ninetieth time, now intensified by the bell ringing. Jay was in the bathroom and shouted for you to open the front door, saying it was the guys that had arrived.
As you made your way towards the entrance, your legs felt wobbly and your heart was racing fast as you clutched the door’s knob. You took a deep breath, silently counting to ten before finally turning the handle.
“Y/N!” Heeseung was the first to greet you with his usual bright smile, wrapping you immediately with his long arms in a tight hug, not minding that he carried some bags with his hands or that they clashed against your back. His blonde hair was perfectly parted, giving a very enticing aura to his already charming presence. 
You smiled in response, warmed by his sweet embrace. By his side stood Sunghoon, his dark hair and thick brows framing his pale face perfectly. His cheeks rounded up as he gave you a shy, endearing smile before pulling you into his own hug.
“Missed you,” he muttered softly against your hair and you chuckled, squeezing him just a bit tighter before stepping back.
“You guys never come to see me, so I don’t know who’s really missing who here,” you shot back with a teasing grin, pretending to pout as you moved away from Sunghoon, almost forgetting about the third presence standing behind them in the hallway. 
After hearing their laughs and letting them in, your eyes flickered to the man awkwardly waiting for the interaction between the three of you to settle. Your breath hitched when your gaze met his, and you had to dig self control from the depths of your mind not to overreact. 
Jake was as handsome as ever.
He was casually dressed in a leather jacket over a white shirt and distressed jeans that seemed to fit him almost too perfectly. Effortlessly good, rough and soft just like your heart enjoyed, which was beating loudly in your ribcage, enough for you to fear to be heard even with the noises from the other two who had just entered your house and were greeting Jay. 
“Hey,” Jake managed to say without giving you a proper look, eyes avoiding your figure at all costs. 
“Hey,” you replied with a forced small smile, stepping back to give him space to pass through, even though there was more than enough. You felt like it would be like that the whole night: awkward and distant. And it only increased your anxiety.
As you closed the door, feet glued on the ground, you wondered if it would be harder to understand anything physics related or to deal with Jake’s presence. The only coherent answer you found was that either would be a pain in the ass, and you would be the one getting fucked at the end. Emotionally and academically. 
Watching them settling into your apartment, comfortably lounging on your couch while laughing and drinking the beer Jay served, you couldn’t help but think when exactly the whole tutoring thing would start. You waited for someone to bring it up, because although it seemed like a good idea, your inner self had doubts about your own reaction when being in a place alone with Jake and had no plans to pursue or engage it.
The couch’s armrest had never felt so awkwardly uncomfortable as you sat there, listening to the endless, nonchalant chatter around you. One of your arms rested on the back of the couch, propping up your head as your eyes shifted between Jake and the others. Whenever he caught you staring, you quickly averted your gaze, pretending to act like you weren’t a bundle of nerves just being in the same room with him.
Heeseung was the one near you, casually using your legs as a makeshift support to his own arm, and Jay sat beside him, completely indifferent to Heeseung's touchy nature – it became routine, to some extent.
Sunghoon and Jake took place on the smaller couch opposite to you, Jake smiling along to the conversation while adding his own points to the whatever story they were telling and Sunghoon laughter filling the room. 
You always found it amusing how Sunghoon seemed to be the reserved one, but when he was with his friends he was definitely the loudest.
Heeseung and you grew closer than you expected, often being the one giving you rides home, even raising some suspicions among your friends about being your boyfriend. As nice, gentle and charming he was, you never saw yourself having feelings for or even dating him.
Not when Jake was on the equation.
What?
“But hey, Jake,” Heeseung suddenly cut the topic and gave a quick squeeze on your thigh. “Weren’t you supposed to be helping Y/N with her studies?”
A cold chill immediately filled your belly and you froze in place, the smile lingering on your lips by listening to their funny chatter fading slowly as you lifted your gaze to Jake. Heeseung was innocently asking, but it caused your stomach to flip a whole 360, and the room was now dividing looks between you two.
You watched as Jake’s expression faltered for just a moment, then quickly returned to his usual easy going demeanor. Before he said anything in response, Jay took the front of it.
“Oh, that’s right,” Jay said, leaning back into the couch with a teasing grin. “I asked you to help my sister, not come here to drink my beer and lounge on my expensive couch.”
You wanted to sink into the floor, or at least disappear. Jake shifted uncomfortably, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips though you could clearly tell he was faking it. Jay’s obliviousness only made it worse, as if he couldn’t even sense the awkwardness between you and Jake.
There was no blame on him, though, especially because no one expected any type of tension between any of you. 
You shot a quick glance at Jake again, who was avoiding your gaze once more, and all of a sudden the room felt too small, too crowded, as if the space around you was closing in, sinking you deep into a pool of anxiety. 
“You don’t have to bother, really,” your voice filled the room, words waving weirdly in the air. You let out a mild chuckle, pushing yourself from your seating to stand up. “I’ll go to my room, so you guys can hang–”
“Hey, no way,” Jay interrupted your attempt of running away, frowning and lifting his beer bottle to point it at you, yet blind to the real atmosphere unfolding. “Don’t try to escape from physics, kiddo.”
Heeseung’s small snort followed Jay's words, giving you teasing glinted eyes before remarking, his lips against his beer bottle. “Yeah, Y/N. You’ve been avoiding it for God’s know how long.” 
Somehow Heeseung’s choice of words seemed to light up a strange feeling in your chest, as if he was reading beyond reality, slightly aware of the you and Jake situation – to begin with, there was no you and Jake situation. No way he would say that about your relationship with physics alone. Anyway, your cheeks warmed instantly, your eyes wavering to any other place rather than the rest of the people sharing that abruptly small space with you.
“I think the kitchen is far enough for you both,” Sunghoon quickly added with a relaxed nod, sipping on his beer. “We promise not to be loud, yeah?” He smirked, completely aware he was the loudest in the house so far. 
You chuckled, switching your weight on your foot. “I can’t believe it when you’re the one saying it,” you teased back, eliciting an immediate laugh from Sunghoon. “But yeah, the kitchen seems to be an okay place. Besides, there’s food and I can totally escape from physics or whatever with food,” you shot Jay a playful grin, quirking an eyebrow, challenging. 
“Don’t you dare.” Jay said firmly, but not really. You knew he was nothing but a worried brother about your mental health and how your academic performance affected it, wishing to give you only the best.
Unfortunately, the best in his vision wasn’t necessarily the best you needed at that moment. 
Jake finally stood up, fixing his clothes as he did so, running his fingers through his thick hair and glancing at you; your eyes tracked his every movement, the sinking feeling in your stomach tightening with the view. He was so damn hot. 
“The kitchen it is, then.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump of nervousness in your throat that came back in a strike, after reminding you would be spending quite a long time alone with Jake, having nowhere to run nor anything to calm down your fluttering heart.
Your legs betrayed you, feeling weak under the pressure of the situation. Still, you forced yourself to move, muttering a quiet “I’ll go grab my books,” before rushing off towards your room.
As you came back, hands shaking and mouth dry, you headed straight to the kitchen wishing to have some more time alone to organize your thoughts, gather yourself and regain your senses before calling Jake. Unexpectedly, he was already there, sitting stiffly on the chair he chose while his slender fingers rapidly danced on his phone screen, unaware of your presence.
Your entire body froze, your plan going down the drain right away. You bit your lower lip, a soft, involuntary action that seemed to be the only thing holding you together in that moment. You had to keep moving forward. You had to. But you couldn’t. Not when Jake was just… there.
A glimpse of a smirk curved the corner of his oh, so plush, distracting lips, glistening under the kitchen’s light while his attention was all on his phone, clearly chatting with someone. Girlfriend? The thought crossed your mind briefly; a man like Jake was probably taken already, and, to be honest, a small part of you almost hoped for it to be true, so you could stop torturing yourself over your silly feelings for him and really move on.
But Jake didn’t ease your side, cheeky tongue every so often playing with the corner of his mouth, teeth pressing his plump bottom lip, and from where you stood you could see his pretty eyelashes fluttering with each blink, oblivious to the effect he was causing on you, oblivious to the storm happening inside your chest.
With a loud and sudden laugh his body jolted, phone slipping from his hands and clattering onto the table as he threw his head back, one of his hands messily running through his silk brown strands out of habit.
Only then he noticed you, standing up in the kitchen’s door, hugging your books, clearly staring. 
“Holy fuck, Y/N!” He blurted out, a hand flying to his chest as if to steady himself, his puppy eyes widened to you, shoulders clearly tensed. “You scared the shit out of me!”
“I–I’m sorry,” you stuttered, stepping further into the room and trying to sound casual, as if you weren’t watching him from the past seconds with your heart almost ripping your ribcage open. “Didn’t mean to.”
Jake took a second to regain his composure and his eyes involuntarily lingered on your figure longer than he wanted to, nearly shamelessly tracing the lines of your body; the soft curve of your bare shoulders, how your spaghetti strap top appealed to evidentiate your collarbone and tightened just enough on your chest. Then he paid attention to your pretty fingers clutching the edges of your notebook and books, lowering to the tiny bit of exposed skin of your belly, then your beautiful hips and covered legs. 
You had chosen a comfortable outfit, not giving a thought about appearance at all – after all, not only the boys had seen you way worse, but the night’s plans gravitated towards studying and studying only.
Even so, Jake had to hold himself back. There was something about the way your clothes hugged your form that had him silently disorientated, heart faltering some beats and breath hardly passing through his airways, his own body heating just by visualizing you.
He cleared his throat, glancing down to fidget with his phone as a way to ground himself, breaking the tension settled thickly between you two. The small sound brought you out of the daze you got yourself into without realizing it.
“So…” Jake finally said, his voice a bit unsteady and lower than you expected. “Where do you want to start?”
His sweet eyes lifted to meet yours again, and his usual easy smile had a hint of something more cautious, more careful, as he focused on your adorable wide-eyed expression. He noticed your cheeks with a faint blush and couldn’t hold back a little grin when you diverted your eyes shyly. 
You slid into the seat across him, sprawling your materials over the table with a quiet sigh, your eyes anxiously avoiding Jake’s.
“I have no idea.” You admitted, letting out a nervous chuckle, struggling to soothe your nerves. “The basics?” You added unsurely and Jake was fast to nod tenderly.
Though he was dealing with a lot in his mind, he would always have a soft spot for you. 
“Basics, yeah. Sounds great.” He agreed with a small smile, carefully reaching out your notebook and opening to scan your notes. 
A wave of embarrassment flushed over you as you remembered the stupid things you wrote during your classes, fighting your demons trying to understand at least the bare minimum, scribbles that hardly made sense, and that now probably got you looking extra dumb and childish under Jake’s judgment.
You heard him humming before grabbing one of your books, his fingers brushing yours quietly and quickly as he did so. You ignored the burst of electricity induced by that simple touch, watching how his slender fingers casually flipped the pages until he reached the one he was searching for.
“You know, I can explain this easily to you,” Jake began to talk, his voice dropping to an unexpected gentle teacher-like tone as he leaned over the table a little, enough to get closer to you, enough to have your stomach twisting and flipping to every direction possible with the warmth his body radiated. “Just don’t mind me if I get too technical sometimes.”
“No problem,” you managed to say, grateful your voice was steady enough for you not to sound stupid or squealed, your eyes glued to your handwriting, tracing the lines of each word as a way of desperately dodging the possibility of meeting Jake’s gaze.
Even the faintest peek of his furrowed brow when he was focused was enough to make you melt, and he had no idea of how attractive he looked when he was all serious and devoted explaining his nerd things.
“Promise me you’ll tell me if you stop following me, alright?” He added, a smile tugging at his lips that you only saw by the corner of your eyes. 
You nodded quickly, swallowing hard; the scent of his cologne was flooding your senses, drawing you in closer, making it harder to think straight.
“Okay,” you replied, quiet and breathlessly.
For the following few minutes Jake explained the concepts slowly, his voice calm and steady as he walked you through the basics, but your head kept drifting your attention away, deeply engaged with the way his gorgeous fingers traced the lines of your textbook. The following thoughts were too dirty to even continue with.
Jake had that familiar Australian accent that naturally made you weak, and now, combined with the way he had softened his tone, speaking so close to your face, it was enough to drive you completely insane. You couldn’t focus on anything but how his warm breath traveled gently, brushing against the sensitive skin of your cheeks, increasing your fluster.
Your heart raced. It raced far too quickly.
The realization of how your body was reacting brought back memories of the times Jake had caused similar sensations in the past, back when he treated you with that older-brother tenderness and you would instantly overreact, shivering at his subtle touches, stuttering whenever his gaze landed on you with his usual captivating smile.
It was undeniable that something had shifted at some point; once there was the slight possibility of getting something more from him, no more holding “Jay's little sister's” place. You couldn’t quite grasp what happened or understand what had triggered such a sudden change, especially since you couldn’t recall having done anything wrong.
Your mind kept drifting away from the materials in front of you. Physics was never your thing, and in that very moment no amount of effort could make it so.
Not when Jake was all over you; in your head, by your side, overwhelming your senses.
Every so often his gaze flicked back to you, expecting to see your attentive, engaged expression, and consequently catching the way you chewed on your lower lip or absentmindedly twirled a pen between your fingers with furrowed brows. 
You had tied your hair in a bun as some strands began to fall over your face, working as a distraction – you were already surrounded with an overwhelming distraction, there was no need for more. That simple act had Jake stuttering, fumbling amidst his words and losing track of his thoughts as the hairstyle gave him the privilege to see your bare, beautiful and kissable neck. 
His hands tingled, urging to touch you there. Would you like to be choked?
Ok, that definitely wasn’t physics. 
Jake fell silent, swallowing hard as you leaned forward to see the drawing he was just explaining, thinking the delay was intentional. When no words came from his mouth and the air suddenly grew thicker, your eyes followed the trail from his fingers to his veiny hands, from his covered torso to his face, hovering longer on how clenched his sharp jaw was and how his Adam’s apple bobbed nervously.
You shot a questioning look, blinking innocently with brows raised just slightly. 
Jake wavered under your curious, yet somehow intense gaze, averting it immediately in order to regain his conscious back. Your lips had pursed into a small pout that did nothing to help his way out of his messy head.
Everything he could think about was how bad he wanted to kiss you.
“Something’s wrong?” Your velvety voice enveloped the room, a naive question with a supposedly simple answer that got caught in Jake’s throat.
Jake never saw you as a potential partner or lover, let alone as an object of his desire. 
You were Jay’s little sister that he cared for as if his own. He saw you grow up, he watched you achieving your goals and got inspired by your strength to overcome the toxic place you had to call a house. Jake cherished your relationship with Jay, grateful for both of you having each other, and that was pretty much you to him.
Even in those times when he treated you to ice cream and snacks during his college breaks, when he visited his parents back home, he kept you in a certain specific spot in his life – something close to family.
He loved to tease you, exactly like a mischievous older brother, laughing when you tripped, when your mouth was stained with chocolate, or when you fumbled through words while talking about your school crush.
Jake had always seen you as a younger sister he needed to look out for.
Until you grew up.
He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when the switch happened, when he stopped seeing you as a little girl he had to tease and began noticing you as a ridiculously attractive woman, but seeing you in person after two years definitely played a role in that.
Jake had been your closest company through your first two years of high school, filling the role of an older brother, a place Jay couldn’t quite manage to fill because of his own study and work demands, unwillingly. 
During your last year of high school you stopped seeing Jake, as he had gotten caught up in the same cycle as your brother: studying and working. And you completely understood, knowing that soon enough you would be in a similar place.
Then you graduated and started your own college journey, and Jake, deep into his own responsibilities, went another year without seeing you.
It was at the beginning of your sophomore year in college that you two crossed paths again – at a party when Jay finally agreed to take you with him, after much persistence on your part.
Jake froze.
Jake quite literally forgot how to breathe, forgot how to blink, how to properly work as a human the moment his eyes landed on you, stunning in a short, wine-colored dress, casually holding a drink in your hand.
Jake didn’t remember your body looking anything like that, used to seeing you in casual, loose clothing rather than that fitted, short dress that framed your thighs so perfectly, drawing his hungry gaze to stare as a starved man, with a subtle neckline that hinted at the curve of your chest.
Hot.
That was all he could think. Until he realized it was you.
He remembered it vividly: watching you from behind as you danced, immediately struck by how attractive that random woman seemed to be. But as his gaze traveled upward and found your face, he froze, utterly overwhelmed with shock and panic. Especially when you noticed him looking, shooting a cute, surprised smile and a little wave, almost as if you were going to come over.
To say he ran away from there was close to an euphemism, rushing over the bathroom within a lame excuse thrown at his friends before heading back home after using the bar’s back door as his way out.
The walk home was painful. Jake’s head was filled with nasty thoughts that made him completely unable to disable it from happening, swirling around in a dirty carousel. 
Jake felt like a naughty, filthy pervert. You were Jay’s little sister. The one he played innocently with, hung out countless times without the slightest thought of having you as a true woman; and if the thought ever crossed his mind, he would feel disgusted, because it made no sense and was wrong.
So, the only way to overcome your effect on him was to ignore you at every possible opportunity, not expecting you to care that much about it.
It was a stupid choice, an asshole one even. You used to be friends and now he would rather choose to be eaten by a bear than see you up close and act normal.
Jay’s sudden plan of asking for his help was the start of his downfall for you, and now he was dealing with the consequences of his previous decisions. 
“Jakey?”
The nickname. The fucking nickname you last called him years ago, now sounding even mellow and sweeter, yet as sultry as ever. Jake wondered how would it be to have you underneath him, moaning his name as if your life depended on it with his dick buried deep into your cunt.
“Y–Yeah?” 
Jake immediately damned himself for the stutter, afraid of being too obvious with his nervous reaction. He made the mistake of looking at you, trying to act as normal as possible, and somehow his brain managed to picture your oh, so cute eyes fluttering close as he pleasured you.
His face heated instantly, as if fire was being spread all over his skin. His body was hot as hell, the loosen pants now not so comfortable as before, tightening on his crotch area.
“What happened?”
You nonchalantly touched his covered forearm as you asked, concern written all over your face as you struggled to understand what was happening. Jake's abrupt reaction of moving away from your soft hands startled you a little, your head cocking to the side as you frowned, reading Jake’s widened and panicked eyes.
Unaware of the real deal, oblivious to the torrent of emotions and feelings dancing inside Jake’s head and chest, you started to feel really annoyed.
Was Jake slipping back into that strange, sudden habit of ignoring you, like he had been since you had started crossing paths again?
There was no plausible explanation for his reaction. The two of you used to go out together all the time, comfortable touches being a natural part of your relationship – especially since Jake was almost ridiculously clingy with his close friends. 
When the whole ‘avoiding you’ situation first started you were very confused and questioned what you did wrong. Then you grew mad and eventually got over it since you had no contact at all with Jake throughout the following months, nearly forgetting his existence. 
But now you had to face it all again, confronting the feelings you once went through; a familiar bitter blend of anger and hurt. It stung like reopening a wound you thought it healed. Exposed, sensitive, vulnerable, bringing back memories you hoped to erase.
“Nothing happen–”
“Why did you stop talking to me?”
Your interruption was as abrupt as Jake’s reaction to your close presence earlier. He noticed the spark of rage flashing your two orbs suddenly, causing him to blink, caught off guard, eyes widening even bigger if it was possible, trying to understand what you just had hit him with.
“Huh?”
You let out a frustrated huff before repeating yourself even more mad, your hands traveling to your hair fix some random strands as an anxious fidgeting habit to ground you. 
“You started to ignore and avoid me. Did I do something wrong? Did I piss you off?”
Jake was taken aback with your outburst of questions, lips parted, words caught somewhere down his throat. There was something close to a knot pressing the back of his tongue that made it hard to speak steadily.
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean, Jake.” You sighed, expression softening just slightly, studying his face. “We used to hang out. We were friends, even.”
Jake exhaled, biting his lip as a way to hold back his words. If he let it all out, he would scare you so fucking bad. 
“Yes, when you were younger.”
“What changed?”
You saw how his shoulders tensed, his neck moving as he swallowed hard, demonstrating to feel flustered under your inquisitive gaze. His eyes dropped to his lap, where one of his hands rested comfortably. He dug the depths of his thoughts to keep it as safe and subtle as possible, not wanting to pour it all on you.
“I... I always saw you as a little sister. That’s how I looked at you, like family.”
You nodded along, following his soft-spoken speech. You didn't understand what exactly he was aiming for with it so far, so you let him continue, hoping it would bring a closure for your relationship to blossom again.
“But then–” He hesitated, eyes flickering up to you and then drifting away. His voice dropped an octave as he added. “I got overwhelmed with my last year in college and eventually with my work. So I didn't have time to see you often. Life just got… Busy.”
Deep down he knew you wouldn’t buy his lame explanation. However, didn’t stop him from holding tightly the small string of hope you would let it pass. 
At the same time, he had a tingling feeling telling him to blurt out everything he went through when you were the subject. How hard it was to act normal when Jay talked about you, to not get hard seeing your cute instagram pictures, not picture himself getting lost in the middle of your plush thighs. 
God, you worked him up too easily.
“I get that part, I really do,” you replied, boldly and kind of unconsciously placing your hand on top of Jake's. This time he didn’t flinch, taking in your soft, innocent touch. Still, his breath hitched. “But when I moved here, you started avidly avoiding me,” you continued, voice dropping to something near a whisper as your fingers traced delicate patterns on the back of his hand. “You’d ignore me at parties, never stopping by to visit. I just didn’t understand.”
Jake shifted uncomfortably on his seat, embarrassed of your accurate analysis.
“The visiting part is Jay's fault. He was the one who suggested for him to go to our house instead of us three coming over here. Just… Making things easier, I guess.”
“That makes sense,” you murmured, pulling your hand away as you realized the weight of the intimacy, afraid of being too weird. “But the avoiding and ignoring me… It doesn't make any.”
Jake closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep sigh. There were no more ways to run away from the topic; his weak excuses had long been overrun by the intensity of your pressing curiosity. You were ready to dig deep and uncover the truth at any cost. Jake knew you well enough to expect this – your persistence, your determination, your stubbornness were traits he had always admired in you and your brother.
“I’m sorry.”
“If you can explain why you’re sorry, maybe I’ll accept it,” you challenged, arching a brow and immediately grabbing his attention. You knew Jake’s competitive side and loved to play with it as a coaxing manner to get what you wanted.
You watched his eyes wavering just enough to make you wonder if your tactic would work that time. But then, he chuckled dryly, blinking away from your awaiting expression.
“I’m sorry for acting like that, Y/N.” He started. “I– I panicked,” his voice was subtle as a feather. If you weren’t alone and far from the noise happening in your living room, you doubt you would be able to hear it clearly. 
“Panicked?” you echoed, confusion knitting your brow, your head tilting just slightly. “Over what?”
Jake’s face turned a deeper shade of red, especially on his cheeks and on the top of his ears. You got even more puzzled, especially after he answered with just a single word.
“You.”
You. 
It hung in the heavy air as thick as a volcano’s smoke, deepening your confusion, your heart starting to beat faster and your hands getting sweaty. 
“Me? What do you mean?”
You didn't expect your voice to sound so quiet as you spoke, but you got somehow caught by surprise with how things turned out. 
So you really did something wrong?
“You… grew up, Y/N. You’re–” He struggled to find the right words, shifting uncomfortably once more, his eyes traveling between the floor, the table and his lap, never daring to look into your eyes. “I’m sorry, but you’re beautiful. And… more than that. You’re… You’re hot.”
An awkward and tense silence filled the room right after Jake’s stained voice trailed off at the end of his sentence, as if he wished he could swallow them back together with the knot on his throat.
Now that he had just verbalized the main reason for his behavior towards you, he was feeling extremely disgusting and pathetic. He could feel the weight of his own shame pressing down, and an almost nauseating guilt pushing at him; a reminder he was wrong for allowing you to go out from the safe and special spot as a “little sister” in his heart, to occupy a darker and more lustful one.
It wasn’t your fault, though. Jake would never in his life blame you for a mistake he had authorized to happen. This wasn’t just a fleeting, harmless slip; he had seen you, had filthy thoughts before fully realizing it was you. And afterwards he did nothing much to stop those thoughts from creeping back in, the only option being avoiding you instead of facing it as a true man.
He swallowed hard once more – becoming a natural habit at that point – and forced himself to look up for a brief moment. All he saw was your stunned expression, mouth slightly agape and eyes apparently trying to search for some kind of joke, to which it only fueled the growing dread inside him.
Jake’s mind was a spiral. The fragile line he had been teetering about you began to fall apart as he realized that you would probably cut him off completely, screaming at him the words he deserved to hear. 
A creepy, weird and disgusting man. 
His pulse quickened, panic creeping in with every second that you didn’t speak, an urge to break the silence immediately, as if maintaining his being in it would drive him completely insane. With that in mind, he opened his mouth to babble.
“I– I don’t expect you to understand. God, I wouldn’t even blame you if you decide to never speak to me again. I’m sure– I’m sure we can arrange an excuse to Jay about your study, or even tell the truth– I’m–” He cut himself briefly to look away from you, who still had your same expression. His hands were busy gesturing anxiously. “I know I crossed a very dangerous line. It’s so fucking wrong and– And I’ve tried to come up with anything to push it away, even ignore it. But then, there’s you.”
Jake’s voice faltered, as though his world was colliding, ending, as though he was on the verge of losing his mind somehow. 
He was.
“There’s always you, looking like some kind of goddess that makes me go insane.”
The realization of what you just heard made your pulse quicken. Jake’s babbling worked perfectly to ground you and, ironically enough, to send you back to heaven, as you felt like dreaming after hearing his first sayings. 
Over the years you thought about having Jake in other ways rather than just a friend or an older brother, but never quite grasping to it completely due to the small, yet existing age gap and the different stages of life drifting you apart. 
To acknowledge how Jake really felt towards you was similar to living in a vivid fever dream, it got you clenching your thighs, panties pathetically dampening just enough to make you shy, as if he would become aware of your body reacting to his words.
You opened your mouth to respond, to try to find any words that could make sense in between the mess of emotions happening inside you; relief, desire, passion. But before you could even begin, a familiar voice cut through the tension, as sharp as a knife, startling both of you as if you had been caught red-handed.
“How's study going?”
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After Jay broke into your studying session with Jake and consequently interrupted the development of your newfound possibility of relationship with the said guy, you couldn’t help but dive into a sea of frustration. 
Jake immediately panicked and ran away, muttering a lame excuse that he had things to take care of and he would catch up with you later, leaving you sitting there, bewildered, confused and angry – with him and with you brother, who even though had no fault, shattered your chances to voice out your side of the story and maybe, just maybe, get Jake to your bedroom.
Jay didn’t flinch a little, aware of how Jake could be impulsive and random with his spontaneous persona and let him go, smiling softly to you after gently stroking your hair and ask if you wanted to relax with him and the remaining guys, thinking you could use some of it after the long minutes you spent studying. 
You were quick to dismiss the offer, seizing the opportunity to excuse yourself to your room, pretending to be really tired and to need some time alone after reading so much physics hard stuff.
However, as you crashed into your bed and stuffed your head into the soft pillow, your body didn’t feel like soothing any time soon, your brain working overtime to remark each and every word uttered by Jake, his low voice as clear as crystal water as it repeated restlessly. 
You’re hot. A goddess. Makes me go insane. 
That night, you met a brand new and nameless sensation. It was close to frustration but layered with the tempting awareness of something you could nearly touch, yet not claim.
Jake ran away, as he always did, without even giving you the proper chance to tell him that, God, you felt the same – perhaps even worse.
His mere act of voicing those genuine, sultry words had already done enough to ruin your self-control – and panties, taking away the opportunity to express just how incredibly irresistible he looked, how you longed to devour every centimeter of his slightly sun-kissed skin, to taste his plush lips, to make him wholly yours.
You asked for Jake's number to Jay the next day, under the pretext of needing to get some extra materials and maybe schedule your following meetings, hoping for it to be reasonable enough. And though Jay willingly accepted and supported your idea, Jake partially ignored you, at most answering your texts with “ok” and “sure”, never leaving an opening for you to draw him into a longer conversation.
So when Jay served you a stack of pancakes on Monday, you expected everything to happen but what really unfolded. 
“I scheduled another study session with Jake today. That cool with you?”
The forkful bringing you a piece of your food froze midair, the assimilation of what Jay’s just said made your movements halt shamefully instantly as you raised your eyes only enough to encounter Jay’s relaxed face.
“Mhm?”
“Jake’s coming over after work today,” Jay repeated casually, munching his food. “I think he gets off around four, so he’ll be here when you’re back from your classes.”
Ok, you definitely – and unfortunately – had heard him right. A spark of excitement and an urge to get yourself dressed extra prettily for college rushed over your body as you straightened your posture on your chair, using of a simple nod to silent agree with the deal.
You feared your words would get stuck on your throat.
“Oh, and I’ll be working from home today, so you won’t be alone with him.”
All the efforts were made for you not to choke on your food, but the honey sauce dripping straight down your throat elicited a quiet, small cough from you. You gulped down whatever was on your way to voice out anything, and all you managed was to mutter a confused “Huh?”
Jay smirked at your reaction, but not really reading into it.
“You know, just in case,” he shrugged nonchalantly and your brow furrowed, stomach twisting with nervousness.
“Just in case of what, exactly?”
You damned yourself for using such a fearful tone, like a frightened kid that had hidden a secret from their parents, leaving gaps for an overinterpretation that Jay could try doing if he was devoted to completely understanding the strange way you were acting.
You deeply wondered if he knew about whatever happened with you and Jake that Friday, or worse, if he eavesdropped on Jake's confession about how he felt about you.
It wasn’t like Jay would be fine with Jake coming over if he did in fact know or heard the conversation. And knowing your brother, he would rather have a civilized and polite conversation with you instead of playing around. 
“I don’t know, Y/N,” Jay started, a glint of mischief twinkling in his eyes. “You hate physics and I called Jake to come teach physics to you. The other day, you were kneading that pizza dough like it owed you money. Don’t know what you’d do to someone who’s a walking physics encyclopedia.”
Your pulse quickened, but your shoulders loosened. Gladly, Jay had already moved on the subject, unbothered, yapping about how he preferred doing his job from home and how annoying it was to deal with paperwork in person. All you could do was to nod along, anxiously counting the minutes.
With almost absolute certainty, none of your classes that day could hold your attention. And so it was. The professors' words seemed like random sound waves, failing to form coherent sentences for you, and you had to fight the constant urge to get up from your chair and leave, even though you knew Jake wouldn't be there yet.
Mondays were exhausting. You had to attend multiple classes, and especially that day there were practical lectures that kept you stuck on campus later than usual. By the end of the day, despite the exhaustion, you were still buzzing with anticipation.
You practically ran back to the apartment you shared with your brother, trying not to make too much effort and break a sweat – after all, you wouldn't have time for a shower or to get dressed properly before seeing Jake.
You felt like a teenager nervously preparing to meet her crush in the hallways between classes; your hands were trembling, your whole body thrilling with excitement, as if each part of you was electrified with anticipation.
Your heart pounded relentlessly, as if each beat echoed louder than the last, straight into your eardrums. The closer you got to your shared apartment, the harder it became to calm your racing thoughts, and the overwhelming mix of excitement and nervousness almost made you dizzy when you grabbed the door knob and twisted it open. 
Jake was sprawled on your couch, golden specs casually resting on his face and his brown, silky hair poking to different places since he was playing with it nonchalantly while the other hand held his phone. His eyes raised up from the screen when he heard the sound of the door opening, and with a subtle smile he greeted you.
“Hi, Y/N.” 
Your gaze instinctively hovered across the room, searching for Jay’s presence. At the same time, you fought against the urge to make yourself comfortable with Jake on your couch. He looked so inviting, cozy and fluffy laying in there, his demeanor soft and relaxed, nearly pulling you close, drifting your thoughts away from reality.
It took seconds for it to hit harshly, as you remembered the intimacy that had once been so natural between the two of you no longer existed, and the possibility of reclaiming that closeness felt slightly out of reach. It was a bitter thought, one that reminded you how fragile things had become.
However, for Jake’s misfortune you weren’t one to give up so easily, now aware of his feelings and thoughts towards you, there was no way to back down so quickly. Not knowing he nourished a desire strong enough to make him opt to avoid you in order to get over it. 
“He’s in his office room,” Jake explained when noticed what you were doing, kindly breaking you out of your trance.
“Oh,” you mumbled, nodding awkwardly. Jake sat straight on the couch, eyes boldly locking into yours as he did so.
You licked your lips out of habit, a bit taken aback with the idea of being in a room alone with him again, the anxiety you had built up throughout the day exploding in your chest just like fireworks.
The slightest motion of your tongue dragging along your plump, cherry colored lips didn’t go unnoticed by Jake’s nervous gaze. His eyes flickered downwards right after, and you silently cheered when he took his time to appreciate your bare thighs in full display for him. 
You had chosen an outfit that was simple yet comfortable, but also bold, different from what you had planned for the day before knowing you would spend time with Jake; a relatively oversized sweater that would protect you from the gentle breeze of the day, paired with a short skirt that highlighted your rounded thighs – thighs you knew Jake would enjoy seeing.
And he so fucking did. The way he parted his lips, swallowed nothing, and shifted uncomfortably on his seat confirmed your theory. 
Jake’s cheeks warmed when he realized what he just did, checking you out carelessly and right in front of your beautiful eyes. He cleared his throat, ready to throw some random small talk to guide the situation to the real deal – the whole studying thing –, but you had other plans. 
“I’m not mad.” 
After years sharing moments with Jake, having him practically living in your house similar to a family member, you had gathered enough sources to know Jake was torturing himself with a guilt you didn’t see to be necessary, not when you desired him as much as he wanted you, not when things could be as simple as one plus one. 
Jake was smart enough to catch onto what you were referring to, still, he hesitated, quirking an eyebrow in disbelief. He remained silent, waiting for your following words when you opened your mouth and closed, as though struggling to find the best, right ones. 
Your feet moved towards his direction and you took the seat beside him, keeping a safe distance. A distance that would keep yourself under control not to jump on his lap, tug his hair with your hands while kissing him passionately, using your hips to rut onto his bulge, aiming to hear his lascivious noises.
Swallowing your impulsive thoughts back, deep on your throat, you continued. 
“I’m not mad that you…” Holding back a shy smile, you bit your lip. “I’m not mad that you think I’m hot.”
Your voice came out as quiet as possible. The fleeting sensation of being heard by your brother weighed heavy on the air, pushing you to keep it as hushed as you could. 
Once more, Jake shifted on his seat, his own fluster increasing after hearing you voicing out his last confession. He didn’t feel stupid, though. It was impossible to feel anything other than thrilled.
He couldn’t pinpoint precisely what turn that conversation with you would be taking; the small hint of fear creeped his chest, but the excitement of positively reading the situation was deliciously overgrowing it. 
“But we have to talk…” You tried to sound firm, yet gentle, not wanting to scare him away. The way your eyes rested on his face made Jake’s heart skip a beat. You were so fucking beautiful. “You know, I didn’t tell you about my part in this story.”
Jake felt his body untensing with your relaxed, tempting even, words; the atmosphere heavy but not with anything bad. It felt suffocating in the bestest way possible, as if a hundred of amazing possibilities could unfold, each of them having your lips pressing against his as a starter and his dick buried deep in you as a finisher.
“Do we?” Jake tilted his head to the side, eyes gleaming with teasing after the realization. The same behavior he would have with you was brought back in a snap, nonetheless, you doubted your strength to deal with it, especially when his two brown orbs showed a hint of something darker.  
“Yes.”
A quiet, feather-like whisper. It was all you managed to say, failing to keep up with your steady, collected image.
“Okay, we can talk,” he nodded softly, and though his eyes showed affection, the faint smirk adorning the corner of his lips triggered your inner core to pleasantly twist.
Jake leaned closer, now relaxed before your presence; your compliant demeanor easing his way through it, taunting his bolder side to shine brighter. Your breath hitched when his eyes wandered your face carefully, his body nearly pressing yours as he drank in your perfect features before gently grabbing your chin to pull you closer.
He was centimeters away from touching you where you needed him the most – firstly. Because your entire being craved for him. 
“But unfortunately, I have to teach you physics before, pretty.”
That was how you ended up sitting at your desk after announcing your arrival to your brother, saying you would be with Jake in your bedroom for studies purposes.
Bullshit.
Jake brought an extra chair to sit by your side, and you truly made double effort to keep your focus on whatever he was explaining, but his words sounded slurred, vague, like a baby talk. His voice and accent were unnecessarily attractive, inducing your head to concentrate on its sounds instead of the meaning. Not to mention his fucking kissable lips, so, so, so close, yet so far. 
Each time your eyes darted to the side, you caught a glimpse of his side profile. Distracting, beautiful, captivating.
Jake had a nose you swore it was sculpted by the finest, most talented artist; sharp and smooth just right, softly curved at the tip, gorgeously displayed on his handsome face. That high bridge triggered your most profound and dirty thoughts, your eyes dropping to a darker shade almost instantly as you got drunk on his features. 
Jake’s whole being was attractive, tempting, a living demon who now taunted your worst behavior and you loved every bit of it. Alongside that, the unveiling situation between the two of you was eating you alive, slowly consuming your mind.
After the little study session you agreed on talking about the dangerously unspoken matter, with the hope of resolving things. On your bed, if you were lucky.
You wanted to have Jake’s hands exploring your body, gripping and pulling you closer, pressing you against the mattress while fucking you from behind, hard, deep, fast, whatever he decided to. You needed his lips marking your neck, his face stuffed between your legs, his mouth working on your pussy while you screamed his name. 
You could almost feel how his tongue would work perfectly in your clit, licking, sucking and–
“And that’s how thermodynamics works. It’s amazing, isn’t it?” 
You blinked confused towards Jake, feeling just a little bad for not really enjoying your private lessons as much as he was. It was cute to see how talkative he became whenever physics was the topic, and extremely hot to witness his smart brain working in full motion to explain every word to you.
Nonetheless your attention span was long gone, ever since his scent started to intoxicate your senses, making you wish to have it all over your skin with his body hovering yours. 
“But of course you’d be paying more attention to my lips and my nose.”
You widened your eyes, speechless. Jake clicked his tongue, shaking his head in a faux discontentment. You trembled on your seat, unconsciously moving back from the closeness of your bodies; there was a fear creeping in your head of losing your inner battle to the raw passion tingling your skin.
“Listen, Y/N. I’m really trying here. I’d appreciate it if you did some effort too.” 
Jake was once again teetering the same risky line, this time with less hesitation, his confidence bubbling as he realized you wouldn't be pushing him away.
The moment he caught your hungry your devouring him throughout the entire tutoring, how willingly to let him in you seemed to be, devoted to the idea of fucking under your brother’s roof, he threw his self control away and started to think with his other head. 
You gulped, eyes lowering to your notebook peacefully resting on your desk. 
“I’m sorry, Jake.”
“Y’know what?” Jake suddenly stood up, offering his hand with his gorgeous slender fingers full of silver rings for you to grab. “Com’ere.” 
Your squinted eyes flickered between his digits and his face, searching for some proper explanation that unfortunately you didn't receive. So you followed his steps, standing up as well and shivering with the touch of his mildly cold skin against yours.
With the way Jake grinned, your stomach tightened, fearing whatever he had on his mind. Trying not to be so obvious with your embarrassing reactions, you frowned.
“What are we doi–”
“The first law in thermodynamics is that energy can’t be destroyed or created, it can only change forms.”
He said his speech within his teacher-like tone once more, interrupting you without caring to explain why standing up and explaining it to you again would make the material magically settle inside your brain.
Especially when you wanted to settle on your bed with him on top of you.
“What the f–”
“So, if I do this,” Jake raised a hand, gently placing it on your right cheek. You winced and retracted a bit with the unexpected soft brush of his slightly cold skin on your, now, heated face. “Do you feel it?” He whispered, fingertips tracing the warm flesh underneath his touch, his body instinctively getting closer to yours as his eyelids softened. “The heat of your skin will work its way to make mine less cold, y’know? Mine is absorbing from yours, to stabilize our temperatures together. The energy isn’t being destroyed nor created, it’s transferred from one body to another until they find the perfect equilibrium.”
It was pathetic the way you nodded along, Jake’s words and presence reverberating throughout your body similar to a wave of pure pleasure, your eyes sparkling with a mix of curiosity and shock with this new method. 
So, physics can be interesting, huh?
“Now,” Jake got closer, his voice dropping an octave while the hand that held yours found comfort on your waist, eliciting an immediate gasp from you. “Question: what happens when two equally heated bodies touch each other?” 
Jake’s face was just a few centimeters away from yours, his lips ghosting, tempting a kiss you wished to happen as soon as possible; he seemed to be testing the waters, glad that you allowed him to do so.
The way his warm breath tickled your skin was dizzying, yet addictive. You shivered, respiration quickening with the way Jake’s eyes dropped, almost closing, as he got charmed by your soft, plump and oh, so kissable lips.
There was no adequate explanation to how your body reflexively reacted to his stimulus, your hands traveling slowly to grip onto something as a way to ground yourself, finding the thin fabric of Jake’s shirt on your way through it. 
“Nothing–” You gulped when you started talking, because the simple motion had your lips grazing Jake’s. He nodded reassuringly, as a way to incite you to keep speaking, the grip on his shirt tightening. “Nothing changes.”
Your eyes lazily fluttered close and open, the tension nearly palpable in the air. Out of habit, you wetted your lips with your tongue; a habit that now got you brushing it against Jake’s lips as well. His breath hitched, surprised, but he didn’t stutter. 
“Yeah,” Jake muttered, letting his hand thread through your strands, tugging it gently. You moaned softly, lips parted, a small frown gracing your features. 
Jake drunkenly groaned, throwing caution and patience aside with your reaction. Fuck, his self control was down to hell and for seconds he forgot where he was, because you were everything and everywhere in his head. 
He could feel how tight his pants became as his dick twitched for some attention, hard and heavy.
“You’re a quick learner when there’s practice involved, aren’t you?”
Jake’s lips were now grazing featherly on the sensitive flesh of your neck, teasing to kiss but never truly giving in.
You didn’t even notice how much you were leaning into his touch, as within every tempting brush on your skin you melted deeper, growing impatient each passing second.
Your fingers boldly slipped underneath his shirt, tracing the subtle lines of the abs you dreamed of licking and kissing and sucking and… God, you were on the verge of crying out of desperation. Your fingernails dug harder into his skin, eliciting a jolt from Jake that immediately pressed you against himself in response.
“Please, Jakey–” You whimpered when you felt his hardened bulge poking you, together with – finally – his wet kisses on your neck, nibbling gently the area with an aching slow.
Jake chuckled in contact with your sensitive skin, loving the way you tilted your head to give him more access, loving the way you were needily pressing yourself on his body, loving the way your hands involved his waist firmly; goosebumps flushed over as he delighted in your sweet and lascivious noises and responses. 
A phantom of a smirk tugged the corner of Jake’s glistening lips as he trailed soft little pecks through your jawline and near to your mouth, laughing gently with the way you searched instantly for more with hooded eyes.
“Wan’ me to kiss you, pretty?” Jake asked, voice thick with raw desire. He now held you with both hands on your hips, one shamelessly lowering to your ass every so often, while yours glided over his chest until they reached his firm shoulders.
You watched Jake’s eyes flash with a mischievous spark and you promptly knew that you could play that game too. So instead of answering right away, you feigned the purest expression you could, batting your eyelashes deliberately as you looked up to him, big doe eyes twinkling with a playful innocence. 
Jake wavered under your gaze, breath twitching, clearly weak to your tactics already. You held back your smile, keeping your faux naivety; the single action fueling Jake’s craving deeper.
“Only if you want it too, Jakey.”
You had no right to sound so pure, as if you were immaculate, untouched, never once ruined, yet dripping with lust and desire. So fucking filthy. 
“Fuck, doll.” Jake muttered faintly, not holding back anymore, his jaw clenching as he harshly dragged you over the room, far from gently as he pushed you to bounce on the soft mattress of your bed. “I’ll kiss you,” he said, hovering on top of your body, the excitement bubbling pleasantly in your low area. “And then I’ll fuck you so, so fucking hard.”
You giggled, getting comfortable on your bed as Jake positioned himself between your legs, which hugged him naturally. As he lowered his face to do as he said, you smirked. 
“Is that a promise?”
Jake’s eyes darkened, pupils wide showing you a sea of unknown feelings you never thought you would witness with him. His lips curved into a slow, teasing smile, one hand trailing deliberately the curve of your hip, your waist, chest, until it was gently wrapped around your neck. 
“Bet.” 
Driven by a mutual need, Jake dived into you passionately, almost desperate. You let out an instantaneous satisfied moan with the feeling of his soft lips pressing harshly on yours, one hand flying to take place on his silky, thick strands, the other gripping his wrist, keeping his hand in place on your throat. 
It took seconds to have Jake’s wet tongue infiltrating the electric touch and unapologetically searching for yours while his body grinded just slightly against your clothed cunt, making it pulse in desperation, dampening the fabric of your panties.
You tried to remember if you had locked the door beforehand, the faintest peak of your moral appearing just to be completely vanished, forgotten due to the vibrations of Jake’s small noises; his groans sent signals straight to your throbbing core, each clutch of your fingers tangled on his locks igniting a new sound that you discovered to be your favorite. 
Jake tightened his fingers around your throat faintly, starting a path of sloppy kisses down to your neck and shoulders, his hot tongue savoring each piece of your exposed smooth skin, and everything you could do was to squirm underneath him, struggling to maintain your sounds low.
With your movement, you accidentally brushed your knee on Jake’s crotch area the exact same moment he released your throat, causing him to open-mouth moan and frown, lips now working on your covered breasts, busying his free hand to squeeze your hips; just the fleeting contact of his heavy, still clothed, dick against your body fueled your craving deeper, your hands gripping on his strands harder.
“Jake, can you please hurry up?” You said in between a moan when he nibbled your nipple over your shirt. “We– We can’t be caught.”
Jake looked up at you, beholding the view of your beautiful fucked out expression with just a few minutes of making out while his hands explored your body. He would bet millions that underneath your underwear, you had already made a mess – the thought alone enough to make him gulp, thrilled to feel your spongy drippy walls enveloping his throbbing length. 
“Newton’s third law,” Jake mumbled suddenly against your stomach, eyes glazed in yours that now showed a confused state, eyes sparkling with pure desire. He curled his fingers on the waistband of your sweatpants, lowering it enough to give him access to your laced underwear. “For every action, there’s a reaction.” 
His explanation didn’t do much for you to understand right away, your frown deepening asking why he would say that so out of the blue. But as soon as he pressed his fingers over your panties and started to draw circles on your clit, you kind of got it. 
“Shit,” you whispered within a whimper, rolling your hips forward as a way to get more of what Jake was offering you, making his lips curl with a satisfied grin. “I swear to G–God…”
The slowness of his movements got you sighing in frustration. It was clear he was playing with you – quite literally –, and the possibility of Jay hearing you two or even worse, bursting the door open and caughting you mid-act was as frightening as arousing.
Having to be quiet, to keep it down, to not raise suspicions. You clenched around nothing. Jake nearly felt it.
His tongue was constantly wetting his lips, mouth watering, his breath heavy, eager, like a starved man who had his favorite meal on full display but couldn’t do anything other than… watch.
You angrily propped yourself on your elbows, tugging Jake’s hair to pull him back to be face-to-face with you, his fingertips never stopping the circles on your cunt. Your lips were centimeters away from each other, eyes hooded, deepened in lust. Jake saw a remnant of your playful aura getting lost amidst the lewd words that came out of your mouth.
“You can’t keep up with your promises, I see,” you murmured, your voice low, sultry, laced with challenge; the smirk dancing on your lips heightened the defiance’s level, triggering Jake’s pulse to quicken. His breath caught as he arched an eyebrow “Should I ask you to leave so I can finish this myself?” You teased, pulling his head to the side by tightening your grip on his locks. “Are you all talk, Jaeyun?”
Jake froze for a brief moment, his mind working hard to connect your words, and the moment it did, his features hardened, utterly lured by your bait; jaw clenched, eyes darker, breath ragged. It dropped to a deeper shade of craving, raw and delightful.
Your core buzzed with anticipation and you unconsciously let out a gasp when Jake pulled you to lay back down on the soft mattress by the waist, hands immediately removing the last piece of cloth that covered your lower body, quickly to undress himself from his own shirt and jeans, exposing his torso and his hardened cock pressing against his underwear.
Absurdly hot. 
Jake was absurdly hot. 
A single silver necklace graced his beautiful neck in contrast with his subtly tanned skin, his chest, toned enough to drive you insane, rose and fell faintly. The way his perfect v-line drew your attention towards his underwear seemed almost purposeful, the stained portion on the thin fabric around his tip got your mouth watering. One thing you were sure of: Jake was big.
He smirked with the way you devoured him whole with your filthy gaze, feeling as much wanted as he desired you too. He playfully dropped his eyes down to his own cock just to glance at you before getting completely naked, catching just enough of your reaction over his bare body.
You had little to no time to appreciate the view as Jake hovered over you quickly, propping himself in between your spreaded legs. Your eyes gleamed with longing and your mouth fell agape when Jake started to glide his dick on your wet folds. He couldn’t hold back a groan with the feeling too, eager to get your pussy hugging his shaft.
“Condom?” He asked, lips kissing the corner of your mouth while waiting for your answer about where to find the said protection. Your immediate reply got him throbbing.
“No.”
Jake fully halted his hips, looking you dead in the eye, and when he saw nothing other than certain, he groaned. “Fuck, pretty. You can’t say th–”
“Raw, Jaeyun.” You repeated yourself, fingernails digging deep on his biceps, a moan escaping from your lips when his heavy cock brushed your clit.
“Damn,” he mumbled against your neck, aligning his length within your pulsing, drippy hole, aching to be fulfilled.
As Jake’s tip pressed against you, a messy kiss took place of your mouths in order to muffle your noises, sloppy and hot, tongues everywhere, teeth pressing each other’s bottom lip harshly, caring little to nothing about hurting.
You whimpered with the feeling of him filling you so good, going deeper and deeper each passing second. When he finally buried himself completely, a groan got lost in between your kisses, and he kept still while you adjusted, though it was extremely hard to wait when you tightened your walls so perfectly around him. 
“You– You feel so good,” he muttered against your lips, voice weak, losing himself in the feeling with his face contorting in pure pleasure as he licked and sucked your bottom lip, asking for more kisses.
The wording and how he said it got you clenching more and Jake felt it right away, your eyes fluttering close as he didn’t hold back and started thrusting on you slowly. He was so deep and intense on you, yet deliberate, a pacing you would curse if you weren’t enjoying that much. 
A soft knock on your bedroom door interrupted the blissful moment, panic instantly taking over your faces as you widened your eyes and gasped, instinctively covering your mouth with your hand. 
“Shit,” you whispered, looking at the closed door over Jake’s shoulder, your heart beating loud inside your chest.
You never prayed so hard for a door to be locked.
“Y/N?” Jay calmy called out from the other side.
“Answer him.” Jake whispered demandingly against your cheek, enjoying it a bit too much for your liking, especially because if you two got caught, it wasn’t just you who would get screwed. 
His eyes scanned your expression, how heavy was your breathing, how bright with fear your eyes shone, although there was a thick layer of pleasure not hiding your enjoyment of the situation. 
“Yeah?” You tried your hardest to sound steady and not stained, but it became a difficult mission when Jake was pushing himself even deeper within each deliberate roll, clearly searching to hit your sensitive spot. 
“Are you alright? Did Jake leave already?”
Your eyes darted over to Jake, who was keeping the grind slow, painfully slow. You arched an eyebrow, not saying a word as you waited for the man on top of you to decide if he was going to lie to his best friend or not.
Jake smirked.
“No, I’m still here,” he kind of shouted, biting his bottom lip to contain a whimper when you tugged his hair at the same time you squeezed him with your walls. After realizing his weakness of having his locks being pulled, you started to use it as an advantage. “And she’s fine, we’re–” he interrupted himself because of the quiet moan that escaped your parted lips, forehead resting on yours, the fear of being heard creeping stronger, fueling, feeding his arousal to the extreme. “We’re wrapping things up.”
Jake managed to let it out in one go, luckily and supposedly believable enough for Jay not to try open the door or ask any of you to do it. 
“Oh, um, okay… I just finished my work,” Jay said casually. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
Oh, great. Jay’s room. The one next door. 
“Alright, bro,” Jake was the only one able to speak, especially because you had now your teeth pressing on his shoulders as a way to keep yourself quiet. “See you in a few, then.”
You two not-so-patiently waited for the sound of Jay’s footsteps to fade far enough down the hall before continuing, Jake’s eyes filled with teasing when he looked back at you and immediately started to faster his thrusts, taking in from your instant response of curving your back with lips parted, the slightest moan escaping from them.
“Shh, baby girl. Don’t make any noises, yeah?” Jake whispered in your ear, his hot breath fanning your skin. With the way his fingertips traced softly your thighs, only to harshly grip into your flesh and pound deeper, you couldn’t hold back your whimper, wincing. “Shh…” He shushed again, an obvious smirk adorning his plump lips that now rested on your swollen ones, his low voice causing your whole body to feel like on fire, skin tingling in despair.
You wanted to scream his name so bad.
“J–Jake…” You moaned underbreath, struggling to keep it quiet. Jake chuckled, amused by your reckless behavior.
“Do you want your brother to hear us, sweetheart?” He asked, filthy, feigning a mocking tone. “I don’t think he’d like to know how deep into you I’m in right now.”
With that, he thrusted once more, hitting your sweet spot right away. You nearly cried as you threw your head back, walls clenching around his dick furiously, fingernails sinking into his flesh, back arching.
Jake grinned, in complete awe with your surrendered, fucked up form, wishing so bad to be able to get more of you – your screams, your whimpers, you chanting his name, anything. He just knew you would sound even hotter. 
“Such a dirty little girl. Dying for someone to hear us, huh?” 
“N–No…” You whined, pathetically shaking your head and softly smacking his shoulder as you got lost in yourself. You felt your body starting to convulse as Jake kept on hitting your g-spot over and over, barely noticing he had his forehead resting on yours again, his hard breathing blowing harshly on your face. “Can’t– So big–”
You rolled your eyes with the speed of Jake’s hips increasing. He wanted to go harder and faster, but the slapping sounds were already growing too loud, teetering the edge of getting caught a bit too much. Not to mention the blend of quiet moans, whimpers and groans you both exchanged in between pants and messy kisses.
Within minutes Jake felt the coil on his stomach tightening, his release was near and by the way you started to sound desperate, you were close too.
“I’m not gon’ last much longer, pretty,” Jake hissed when you wrapped your legs around his hips and pushed him deeper, helping him to maintain the rhythm of his thrusts. “Fuck...”
You fluttered your eyes open – didn’t even remember when you had closed it – right on time to catch a glimpse of Jake’s necklace dangling close to your face as he propped himself up to ease his pushes, his sweaty hair part sticking to his forehead, part hanging down, grazing softly on your nose. 
The overwhelming feeling of Jake’s burying himself deep into you, filling up each centimeter inside your cunt, his scent all over your senses, his sweet and hot silent moans, the way he had a pleasant frown gracing his features, every now and then biting his lip.
You felt your orgasm building up in a delightful, electrifying wave that flushed your trembling body.
“I wanna–”
“Come to me, baby,” Jake urged you, his own climax teetering the edge, voice cracking. “Wan’ feel you creaming my cock.”
A mild louder noise escaped your lips as you shivered, legs shaking with the amount of pressure your body was releasing. Jake bursted right after your juices coated his length, stuffing you up with his warm seed.
Your heavy breaths filled the room for a while. Jake’s tired body pressing against yours within an intimacy that made your heart flutter, realization hitting that you just had fucked your crush, who just happened to be your brother’s best friend.
You closed your eyes, a sting of a bittersweet feeling growing inside your chest. 
“We still need to talk.”
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The talk never really happened, since the constant visits unfolded your relationship with Jake better than you expected.
It seemed to be a no strings attached type of relationship, with you and Jake kissing and fucking anytime you had the chance to in between your tutoring classes.
You couldn’t help but feel guilty, and foolish to some extent, because tasting Jake's body and mouth awakened the same feelings of love you once buried deep within you, feelings that you now had to bury again, fully aware that they weren’t nearly reciprocated.
Jake probably saw you as woman he could fuck, and you thought you could live with that.
Your encounters with Jake became as usual as your classes, and gratefully Jay obliviousness blinded him from the real thing happening under his roof, because in no world you would need everyday physics lessons, even with your tough relationship with it. 
At some point you started to believe that your tactics to restrain yourself around Jake had been perfected.
When Jake changed his behavior with you, avoiding you at parties and the other events where you both accidentally crossed paths, Jay never suspected a thing. First, because he knew how busy Jake was with his work, and second, because he believed friendships were flexible and often riddled with uncontrollable nuances – meaning, you and Jake were simply going through a phase where things weren’t aligning.
It became routine to pretend you were still in the same cycle, with Jake acting as a casual friend who was just helping you with your studies enough to pass the course.
Jay had no idea you had promised Jake that you would only let him eat you out if you aced your exams – although you would let him do it anyway.
It was just so fun to watch him throw tantrums at you, whining how much he needed to feel your cunt pulsing and dripping on his tongue. You couldn’t deny the excitement of receiving a head from Jake was big; the way he kissed you and how high bridged his nose was, were enough proof that he would do a hell of a job.
As the semester was reaching its end, your anxiety grew.
You felt secure in most of your subjects, because even though Jake was actively present in your life, you managed to find out time to focus on your individual studies and felt confident enough in them.
But then there was physics.
The one you were supposedly studying, locked in the room with Jake. The one you learned while feeling the heat of his body against yours, his soft whispers, groans in your ear as his hands explored every centimeter of your skin.
It was undeniable that Jake's practical method worked wonders, and that was exactly why you took the lead and suggested that for that day's study session.
“You wanna do what?”
You and Jake were sitting across each other in your room: Jake on your bed and you at your desk chair. He had just arrived for your tutoring of the day and you immediately greeted him with a suggestion that had him with the most dumbfounded, in disbelief, shocked kind of expression written all over his face.
“Suck you off while you explain the basics of that shit,” you repeated yourself casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Quantum.” Jake pointed, his eyebrows skyhigh at that point. 
“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling innocently while playing with a pen and wiggling your legs off the chair.
“You want me to teach you the basics of quantum physics while you suck me off?” He echoed, still trying to completely comprehend your proposal. 
“That’s exactly what I just said.”
It was an undeniable proposal, right?
Jake blinked, his brain falling into a dangerous short-circuit. To imagine you, kneeled in front of him, his dick buried deep in your throat, free-fucking would be his wettest dream come true.
However, there was a big chance of him losing control of his sounds – and himself – the very moment your pretty lips wrapped around his dick, tongue playing with his sensitive length as your gorgeous doe eyes looked up to him.
Jake damned himself for getting hard just by the thought of it.
“And how does that help you… Practically talking?”
He was really trying to logical think and follow your thought process, shifting on his seat while his mind traveled away.
The whole fucking while studying was a thing not only because you both wanted it to happen, but mostly because Jake could partially dodge the creeping guilt, knowing his work was getting done, even if that meant him shoving his dick inside you while doing so – a win-win situation with his peculiar, yet effective technic. 
With that particular request, he couldn’t quite pinpoint where the logic leaned, triggering his mind to wonder if you were getting dangerously close to crossing the unspoken line that came with your agreement.
Jake’s eyes tracked as you stood up and walked close to him, casually sitting on his lap, arms naturally wrapping around his shoulders.
“Well…” You trailed off, fingers slowly and shamelessly drawing a soft line across his chest, feeling his breath hitching beneath your touch; your eyes dropping to a darker shade of lust, shifting the whole atmosphere. “Hearing your moaning voice would… Y’know, help me internalize it,” you smirked, letting each word teasingly hang in the thick air.
Jake’s eyes narrowed with a spark of intrigue, head tilting slightly as he searched for a hint of humor or mischief in your gaze that would give away your plan. But you held his stare, unwavering, eyes burning with a confidence that left no room for doubt, no suggestion of play.
“So…” He murmured within a gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing drawing your attention briefly. “You’d remember the explanation… Because I’m…”
“Moaning it.”
The wording left your lips light as a feather, yet as sultry as the taste of the finest wine – tempting, subtle, delicious. Jake leaned in, failing to ignore your bait, his jaw clenching as his grip on your waist tightened; a quiet curse escaped him, underbreath, the moment you busied your lips on his sensitive neck. 
“Fuck…”
You rolled your hips just slightly, teasing a touch you wouldn’t be giving to him. Not so easily.
“What do you say, mhm?” You kissed Jake’s jawline, his chin, the tip of his nose and then his plush lips. 
There was something about the way he kissed you back, deliberate and tender, as if you were everything he waited for his whole life.
After days of sharing intimacy, you began to notice that sometimes Jake kissed you like a lover that long dreamed of you – mouthful and yearning, as if he couldn’t get enough of you. Like a soft breeze fanning your skin on a warm summer afternoon – comfortable enough to make you sigh, yet stirring something deep. Like the glow of the sun fading beneath the horizon at dusk – beautiful, fleeting, and full of possibilities. Like a first lover – fear of losing the sight of you and unforgettable. 
Jake kissed you like he was slowly allowing himself to fall in love with you. And you didn’t know yet, but he was.
Each attach of lips elicited new waves of euphoria through your veins as your feelings emerged without a proper warning, kicking the front door of your heart open and making a delightful mess.
You couldn’t help the strong pump of your heart and the flutter on your stomach the moment Jake crossed your sight. How thrilled you got when scheduling your meets, not caring about the studying neither the fucking; eager to kiss, to hug, just to have Jake close.
In that very moment you wished, more than ever, for him to feel the same way. You could sense the desire in his every touch, in the way his body pressed flush to yours, demonstrating how much he needed you, how much he was losing himself in you, like magnets.
You could feel it in the way his hands roamed, the warmth of his touch, the intensity in his gaze. It was tangible, undeniable. Jake wanted you. But was it enough? Did Jake want more than just a moment, or was it just an ephemeral passion, burning brightly before fading into memory like ashes?
On the other hand, Jake’s mind slipped into a haze, zoning out while drowning deeper in the warm and cozy ocean that was you.
He found himself lost in the memory of your first kiss – fueled by a mixture of fear and excitement. Not the fear of being caught, but the terror of realizing he had already fallen too intensely, his entire being consumed by the intoxicating pull of you. And he did nothing, nothing to fight back or to swim back to the top, utterly, willingly under your spell.
You had him wrapped around your fingers from the moment you first crossed paths at that party. 
Jake had tried to keep his safe distance, as a way of respecting your brother’s implicit boundaries and you, the little girl he grew up with. But mainly because he was completely aware that once he succumbed to the temptation of you, there would be no turning back.
When you both embarked on this brand new journey of friends with benefits, Jake knew that he could end up losing himself more than he should.
He believed you deserved to be treated like a queen – to be adored and desired as the most precious thing in the world. And he could be that person if you allowed him to.
But it was as clear as crystal water that you didn’t see him in that way. Not when you withdrew from acts of intimacy, not when you pulled back as the kiss grew too passionate, too full of love, not when you showed that you weren’t ready to take another step forward together.
Jake didn’t mind being used for your pleasure, not at all. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement: you got your physics lessons and some good orgasms, and he got to have you for a brief moment, just long enough to satisfy the hunger he felt. Then he would return, craving more, locked in a cycle he knew all too well, hoping his excuses of giving extra hours of teaching would be enough to keep you by his side just a little bit more.
That first taste had done more than ignite a flame; it had marked him, like a brand, leaving him completely, irrevocably at your mercy. Jake was yours. You just didn’t know yet.
That one kiss lingered painful longer than any other. When you finally pulled away, your breath came in short bursts and you were unsure whether it was the intensity of his touch or how quickly your heartbeats increased in such a short span of time.
Jake wore a lovestruck expression that had your body responding immediately – heat spreading through your chest, leaning forward, wanting more of whatever he had to offer.
“You pull me like magnets, you know that?” Jake casually and suddenly dropped in, voice barely above a whisper but thick with something unfamiliar to you so far, something that got your stomach fluttering with an emotion you didn’t want to name yet, scared of being real.
You swallowed down your immediate reaction, trying to regulate your breath while being torn between letting your heart follow along or keeping your feet on the ground, afraid of reading too much into that unusual moment that was just starting to unfold before you.
“That’s not today’s subject,” you managed to mutter back, a tinge of anguish holding onto your voice as your eyes traced Jake’s handsome features. 
You could lose yourself in him for hours and never grow tired. He had the most perfect face, soft puppy brown eyes filled with sincerity, prominent cheekbones that constantly shone brighter when he was smiling big, showing off his pretty dental arch with the slightest curl at the end of his plush lips. His sharp figure juxtaposed perfectly with the softness of his nature. Sweet, tender, endlessly loving.
For you, it was effortless to fall for Sim Jaeyun.
“When would it be, then?”
Jake had gathered all his strength and courage to throw that question at you, wavering just a little when you answered with a dumbfounded frown and a quiet “What?”.
“When the fact that you pull me like magnets, opposites but still ridiculously attracting me towards you, would be the subject?” He asked, his hands pressing harder on your hips as if he was trying to ground himself out of his nervousness, as if he was struggling to not falter. 
You arched an eyebrow, an unconscious smile creeping on your mildly swollen lips as your breath hitched. Before you could reply with another question, Jake continued, making it difficult to keep thinking coercively, since each of his words traveled straight into your heart.
“‘Cuz, pretty, it’s pathetic,” he chuckled as softly as his voice came out, head leaning to the side. “When I’m with you I feel like I’m a particle in motion, constantly accelerating in pure devotion,” Jake's orbs were so, so filled with softness and fondness as he kept on saying. One of his hands cupped your cheek and he brushed your lower lip. “You make me feel like I’m at the center of a black hole. No matter how much I try to escape, I’m just pulled deeper into your gravity.”
With that you giggled, head being thrown back as the flustered heat creeped on your cheeks quickly, your eyes briefly flickering away from Jake’s loving ones for a moment before glazing into them again, this time intensely exposing your vulnerable side.
You finally lowered your guard, allowing those same feelings you had been nurturing for years to come into the light to face the beautiful, thrilling possible outcome.
“Did you just confess your feelings for me using physics metaphors, Sim Jaeyun?” You asked with a playful glint in your eyes and a teasing smile that had Jake nuzzling his flustered face on your neck, holding back his own shy smile within a bit on his lower lip.
“Yes. I, indeed, did,” he muffled against your skin, making you shiver a bit.
Your heart vibrated with pure, unexpected joy. Your afternoon had a turn you weren’t waiting for, but now that it did, relief flooded your senses. Jake had feelings for you too.
Another giggle escaped your lips. Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined Jake confessing his feelings to you, let alone as you sat on his lap, sharing intimacy and knowing you were the ultimate reason for his body to be so reactive. Couldn’t be more perfect, everything seemed too good to be true.
With a light lean back, enough to pull Jake away from your embrace, your eyes dropped to drink in his perfectly drawn full lips. The air shifted, this time, not only with a momentary lushness or vague desire how it used to be, but carried with a ton of something close to love as well.
You rolled your hips and Jake groaned, sensitive to you already.
“So,” you purred, your teeth sank into your bottom lip, a mischievous grin tugging the corner of your mouth as you pushed yourself forward, making Jake’s heart flutter as his back encountered the soft mattress of your bed. “Does my pretty physics boy want me to suck him off while he lays down or…?”
Jake’s body instantly winced with the way your eyes darkened and how velvety your voice came out of your gorgeous lips; the nickname didn’t go unnoticed either, causing his dick to twitch inside his pants.
Your touch feathery, yet trailing flames through his covered chest stirred up the deepests feelings he used to hide. Jake took in your reaction as a quiet yes or maybe a subtle “me too”. Knowing your nature so far, you would rather give him a head, as in a taste of your affection, than admitting out loud you liked him back.
Little did he know you were on the verge of panic, fighting the urge of shying away because, although he just confessed to you, you felt pathetically nourishing feelings way more intense towards him, with your heart pounding loud and unsteady and an overwhelming ache not-so-quietly overtaking your being.
You craved to give Jake your everything, to devour every centimeter of him if that meant being close – closer than words alone could ever take you. There were no syllables together to form a proper sentence that showed a quarter of what it felt to love Jake.
“I– I honestly don’t know…” Jake murmured as soft as fluffy clouds, contrasting your demeanor at that moment, with your lips now placing slow and soft kisses all over the sensitive flesh of his neck.
You chuckled when Jake started to squirm a little, his hands nervously gripping on your ass and quiet moans escaping his lips as you took your time to enjoy his warmth with your mouth. There was something so arousing about how Jake was always reactive to your touches, either the lightest or the more intense ones, his body clearly faltering deliciously under your control. It made your panties wet quite instantly. 
When you started to nibble that same area, you also felt Jake bucking his hips upwards, as a way to get some friction to satisfy his neglected dick. Jake was very sensitive on his neck and didn’t have to admit it out loud; the fact that he was getting harder and harder underneath you was enough to show it. 
His puppy eyes lighted up with an adorable blender of curiosity and excitement under your piercing gaze when you lifted yourself to straddle, knees on each side of his hips. The same gaze roamed his whole clothed body as if you could see through it, ravishing each small portion with adoration.
Jake had an extra cute and confused expression taking over his face when you suddenly stood up and let him go out of the warmness of your body, a playful grin dancing on your lips as you softly tapped his thigh before saying.
“Get comfy, Jakey,” there was a thick layer of desire on your voice blended with a hint of mischievousness that got Jake’s dick throbbing while he did as you said, propping himself on his elbows to properly lay on your bed.
You positioned yourself on top of him again, smiling cheekily as you lowered your face just enough to purr against his ear, your hot breath making him wince. “Cuz I’m about to make you forget your own name.”
The way Jake’s eyes widened after hearing your non-filtered filthy words had you giggling, his Adam’s apple attractively bobbing up and down as he swallowed, your lips attaching to it because you truly wanted to devour Jake as whole. 
“But Jay–” He tried to reason with you, his hands betraying his rational side as he intensified the grip on your ass once again, pulling you down so he could rut against you; his pants growing uncomfortably tighter each passing second.
“Shh,” you shushed him, gently pressing a finger on his plump lips before shaking your head. “He’s not home,” you added, planting a few kisses along his neck, jawline and lastly on his lips, propping yourself up on your arms, one on each side of Jake’s head.
A low moan escaped Jake at the sight of your fierce, determined gaze, fearing he wouldn’t be able to handle whatever you had prepared in your mind. You stared at him like a predator about to strike a prey, and damn, you looked so unbelievably sexy doing it.
“It’s just the two of us.”
Just for a few brief moments, he thought, considering adding. But you seemed more unwavering than ever to follow through with your plan, and honestly? Jake didn’t care anymore.
Not when you slowly stripped him down until only his underwear remained. Not when you were kissing and licking every centimeter of his chest and abdomen, your enchanting eyes giving innocent, pure glances that contrasted sharply with your every move. Not when he could feel your hands deliberately exploring every part of his warm skin, leaving trails of burning desire that were far too overwhelming for him to remain still.
When you paused at the waistband of his underwear, all Jake could do was breathe heavily, bite his lip, and watch you expectantly, his airways feeling like closing as you finally gave him the freedom he needed. 
“You have such a beautiful and big cock, Jakey,” you hummed with a smirk, tongue wetting your lips as you felt your mouth watering. Jake groaned when you grabbed the base and started pumping it, painful slowly, smearing the leaking precum to lubricate. “I’d love to feel it down my throat.”
And without a warning or leaving him to properly think about your words, you gave a long, savoring lick of his veiny length just to suck at the tip, eliciting an immediate moan within a thrust forward searching for more contact.
You kept swiping your tongue across his throbbing hardened dick, always finishing with a pop on the very end, and when you felt like your spit and his arousal had coated it enough to ease your movements, you opened your mouth wide to take him whole, each centimeter causing Jake’s body to tremble and his voice to falter in between his groans.
When you had your nose bumping his lower stomach, you stood still, feeling Jake’s hands caressing your hair kindly. You had to use your everything to remember to breathe with your nose, especially when the view of Jake’s head being thrown on the pillow as he, himself, struggled to regulate his own breathing was unfolding right before your eyes. 
Jake's body at that point was flaming hot, sweat dripping onto his forehead while his free hand clutched the sheet in a way to keep him sane, though your warm cavity embracing his dick, up and down, was leaving no room to maintain the silence. 
“Fuck, baby–” His voice was hoarse, consumed by the indescribable sensation of the way you took him so pleasurably, so skillfully, so delightfully. “T–Taking me so well…”
He waved his hips just slightly with his hands still on your head, bucking against your throat and unintentionally making you gag. He didn’t feel sorry at all, not when you kept on your pace, barely giving a thought about it, even stirring a muffled moan out of you.
A choked whimper escaped Jake’s swollen lips as he felt your throat pressing against his sensitive tip again. It was bizarre how it seemed like you had been molded just for him, and only him. Jake wanted you in every possible way and was grateful because you seemed to want him just as desperately.
You increased the rhythm little by little with hollow cheeks, giving some more attention with your mouth to Jake’s reddened tip, tongue pressing at the slit every once and a while as your hands worked on the base and his balls. 
There was a thin string of morality that held Jake in reality, preventing him from moaning your name – though he wanted so badly to –, but he couldn’t help the following whimpers and small cries that left his throat, the flutter on his stomach indicating he was getting closer. 
You noticed it almost right away after so many moments together. Jake always started to whine in between his noises and his body would shake within each minimal stimulus, squirming like he was growing desperate. So you quickly repositioned yourself, supporting your weight with your arms on the bed and staying still, eyes blinking expectantly at Jake, waiting.
“Why did you stop–” Jake cut himself when he propped his head up from the pillow to look at you, another half-choked groan slipping out his parted lips when he caught the view. “Don’t tell me you want me to…”
You nodded, still waiting. Jake chuckled, in pure disbelief and desire, because you just had held yourself with your tongue poking out of your mouth, expecting him to simply throat-fuck you.
The way you were just… staring, patiently idling until Jake had your hair threaded through his slender fingers to finally move was an extremely alluring, sultry sight.
“You have no idea of how sexy you look right now,” he muttered under his breath, lowering your head while resting on his free elbow, because there was no way in hell he would lose the enticing scene you were just about to give him. 
Jake didn’t know he would be able to endure much longer of that treatment you were giving him, his body extra sensitive as he bobbed your head up and down his cock; free using your body for his own pleasure sounded a lot out of his league and he took a mental note to repay later. 
It took just seconds in that new position for you to have Jake rolling his eyes back with his mouth falling open, a quiet moan escaping as he speeded up his hands on your head before forcing you all the way down, pressing the tip of his throbbing cock on your throat while the thick ropes of his release filed straight down your throat.
You kept steady, motioning the swallowing movement to ride Jake through his high; it felt amazing to have him shaking in between random waves underneath you, soft whines coming out of his parted lips while the grip on your hair tightened.
As soon as he loosened the said grasp, you finally removed his now a bit softened cock out of your mouth, kissing it briefly before moving up to settle yourself on Jake’s chest. 
“That was insane,” he whispered in between small pants, involving you with his arms. You cared little to nothing about his sweat sticking to you, knowing you both would have to take a quick bath before Jay got home. 
“I know,” you replied back with a grin, looking at him and kissing his lips with passion, now free from your own fears’ restraints. 
You used to avoid sharing too many intimate moments with Jake, the aftercare barely happening due to your constant excuses to run away, scared of falling deeper into something you couldn’t really grasp at. Not until that day. 
It felt great to experience such loving touches without having to run away – light as sweet breeze fanning your face, your heart pounded in joy inside your chest, stomach fluttering with dancing butterflies.
You suddenly giggled, parting the kiss to glance at Jake with your adorable, playful eyes. He shot you back a tender gaze, waiting for your following words.
“You didn’t teach me about quantum,” you quirked an eyebrow and Jake immediately widened his eyes in panic.
“Oh, shit.”
You laughed at his dramatic reaction, at how he wanted to leave the bed to grab his clothes and try to use the last minutes of your tutoring session to teach you anything.
“Calm down, big boy,” you pulled him back. “Jay’s probably not even at home yet.”
As if you had summoned him, a knock on your door got you and Jake startled. 
“Y/N?”
Both of your bodies tensed immediately. With a jolt, Jake was rushing over to get his clothes from the floor and wear them as quickly as possible while you frantically patted down your hair and smoothed the wrinkled fabric of your shirt, wiping away any hint of lingering fluids from the corner of your mouth.
“Coming!” You shouted, hurrying towards the door.
You cleared your throat, giving a final, stealthy glance over your shoulder to make sure Jake was, thankfully, no longer naked. When you opened the door, you greeted Jay with an overly bright, oh-so-forced smile, praying he would buy your attempt at casualness.
“Hi!” 
“…Is everything alright? I heard some noises. It sounded like someone was in pain…” he replied, his brows knitting in concern.
“Uh…” Your mouth fell open and your eyes widened comically, your brain nearly visibly overheating, struggling to process an acceptable explanation. 
You could closely feel Jake’s gaze burning on your back as the realization that Jay might have heard pretty much everything.
“It was me!” Jake interjected, cutting through the awkward silence with an impressive smoothness. “I, uh, stubbed my toe on Y/N’s bed frame when I was heading to the bathroom,” he added with a sheepish chuckle.
“Oh,” Jay replied, nodding with an air of understanding that sent a wave of relief through your tense shoulders, your smile naturally coming back to your face. “That makes sense.”
However, Jake was naive enough to notice how his best friend’s eyes dropped briefly, as if scanning you two, a faint, knowing look flashing across his face before he added with a small, friendly smile
“I’ll leave you two. Don’t wanna interrupt your… Studies.” 
“Thanks!” You were quick to answer. Almost too quick. “We’re almost finished!” Your voice was stained enough to raise suspicions but you opted to ignore it.
As the door clicked shut, Jake exhaled with a low mutter, his fingers scratching through his hair. “I think he knows.”
“What!?” You exasperated, though trying to maintain your voice low. “There’s no way!”
Jake’s lips curled in a fond smile as he studied your adorable disbelief expression, hands finding comfort on your waist. For someone who just had partially sucked his soul out of his body through his cock, you were acting a bit almost innocent. He couldn’t resist the urge to tease you, his fingers drawing circles on your hips.
“Did you really think he bought that excuse?” he chuckled softly, eyes gleaming with amusement.
“Of course he did!” You stomped your foot, crossing your arms.
Jake's hands slid from your waist just to gently unfold your arms, guiding them to his shoulders as he pulled you closer.
“I wish you were right, pretty girl, but I don’t think we’ve convinced him this time,” Jake said and sighed, your cheeks warming when he used a finger to tuck a strand of your messy hair on your ear. Your pout deepened and Jake giggled. “Who the hell moans when getting hurt, sweetheart?” He murmured, his voice soft, but his lips twitched in a playful smirk.
“I mean,” you started, flustered but trying to be reasonable, “there are probably people who–” Jake cut you off with a quick peck on your lips, startling you into silence as your protest dissolved into a surprised smile. The sweetness of the gesture caught you off guard, and a good warmth bloomed in your chest.
Definitely you would have to get used to that.
“I don’t think he bought it, pretty,” Jake eyes traced over your features, his smile lingering longer as he studied each part of it. He caressed your cheek, brushing your bottom lip before kissing you, a delicious shiver running down your spine as he did so. “But it’s fine, yeah? We’ll figure out something.”
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The woman staring back at you in the mirror was expressing everything but “I’m casually going to study.” Sure, you had chosen a chill outfit, taking advantage of the sweet autumn breeze to wear one of your cozy sweaters, but you had left your legs bare, pairing it with a short skirt that framed your thighs perfectly. Perfectly enough to drive Jake insane.
It was amusing, thrilling even to see how he now reacted so openly, nearly pathetically to your provocations. Anytime you found yourselves in a safe space – mainly your room or the living room when you were absolutely sure Jay wasn’t home – Jake would unleash a stream of shameless obscenities adoring you, his hungry gaze devouring your body without a care in the world. It always earned a laugh from you before you both gave in to the heat of the moment, leading to a long, intense kiss. 
Today, you didn’t know for certain if Jay was home, and frankly you didn’t want to find out either. If he was, he would probably see you and question where you were going, an endearing yet slightly overprotective habit of his. So, you walked through the house as quietly as possible, practically on tiptoes, hoping he had been held up at work or had gone out with his friends, as he usually did on Fridays.
The evening was just setting in, and Jake had mentioned earlier that Sunghoon and Heeseung were going out that night, which was the main reason you had felt comfortable enough to head over – freedom. And, admittedly, because your finals were starting next week, and you genuinely wanted to review a few things with him, even – and luckily – if that meant to have his breathy moans brushing against your ear as he fucked you dumb.
With your nervous eyes hovering the apartment in search of anything that resembled your brother’s presence, you finally reached the door, clicking it open with a relieved sigh.
However, fate had other plans for you.
“Where are you going?”
You startled and stopped immediately on your tracks, turning in your heels with an awkward smile to see Jay standing near the dinner room door frame with a confused expression. You had forgotten that he normally sat there while working on boring stuff on his phone sometimes, where he could definitely see you passing by.
“Um... To Jake's.” You quietly told. “Y’know, my exams start on Monday, so…”
Jay arched an eyebrow, his jaw clenching ever so slightly as his eyes roamed your body, his frown deepening within each passing second. Now you damned yourself for choosing such a short skirt.
With a brief nod after his silent inspection, he muttered. “Ok.”
You squinted, tilting your head, your expression shifting to something almost investigative as you struggled to read Jay's reaction – a calmness that felt almost unsettling, like the lull before the storm. You half-expected him to ask dozens of questions, and the fact he didn’t got you wavering, stomach twisting in a bitter anticipation.
“Okay…?” you echoed, waiting for… something more.
“Yeah, have fun.” He replied, shrugging slightly, hands being buried deep in his front pockets. “I mean, it’s physics. You can’t really have fun with that,” he teased, but at the same time, you felt weird, like there was something more to it.
“Um, right,” you nodded, forcing a tense, small smile. “Definitely can’t.”
The words lingered in the air between you two, the air dense as volcano smokes; a volcano you trusted wouldn't erupt soon. Or at least you deeply hoped for it. 
After a quick goodbye, you headed to Jake’s house, having to deal with your stomach aching in nervousness after your brief interaction with Jay. You truly wished for your brother to be oblivious enough not to suspect anything more than he already had, nonetheless you and Jake weren’t being that cautious about your ongoing relationship.
On the other side, the said man was patiently waiting for your arrival. He had just declined Heeseung and Sunghoon’s invitation to hang out as they usually did on Fridays, trying to sound as casual as possible when explaining you would be there soon to finish your studies, since you had exams the next week.
Bullshit. 
Jake was playing with fire. Taunting the devil. Flirting with danger. Whatever.
He had a vain certainty that Jay was suspecting your relationship with him, especially after the last encounter in your room where your brother’s eyes shifted briefly into something close to understanding beyond what he had seen. 
Still, Jake called you over, praying for the best outcome instead of facing whatever consequences Jay would make him go through once he finds out he has been sleeping with his little sister.
Jake wasn’t an only child, however, having an older brother didn’t do much to help him in portraying being in your place.
Of course he would go insane if he had a little sister and she started to screw around with a friend of his, especially if she tried to hide it. But Jake didn’t plan to be the asshole type, to use your body for his own satisfaction and discard you once he got bored, never. He couldn’t even create a thought about leaving you at that point. His heart beat for you, and you only. 
You became an important part of his life throughout the past weeks, months even. Since the moment you both allowed and agreed to the friends-with-benefits arrangement and it had evolved into something much deeper. Now, Jake found himself nurturing strongest feelings for you; it wasn’t only about the curves of your body, the smoothness of your skin, the longing to have you all over him, no. 
Jake could easily say he had fallen in love with you.
It was crazy how you got him wrapped around his finger – both abstractly and practically –, as if it was such an easy task to do. 
Life with you was way more interesting and enjoyable. Jake could spend hours fucking you, yes, definitely. But nothing compared to having your body snuggled against his, the shared warmth leaving no room for anxiety, tiredness or sorrow.
After a tough day, all Jake wanted was to be with you, cuddling while receiving your shower of kisses and hearing your giggles as you did so.
Jake fell deeply in love with every part of your personality: how determined you overall were and especially when it was about to win him over, how rational yet emotional you could be, how genuine and at the same time assertive you expressed yourself when talking about your hobbies.
Acts of service were your primary love language, and Jake loved how you put in effort to express affection in such a thoughtful way, since the shared routine made it extra hard to ease your side. 
Taking care of his tired body after he stayed on top of you for quite a long time, giving him water and cleaning him whole. Bringing his favorite coffee whenever he stopped to pick you up from college. 
When you both actually studied, you didn’t just listen to his explanations; you appreciated the effort he put into making even the most complex topics easy to understand. But more than that, you always did your best to make him feel comfortable. Whether it was adjusting the air conditioning when you saw him shivering or sweating, or quietly flipping the pages of the textbook when you noticed he had finished reading the last paragraph, your attention to detail never went unnoticed.
On a random day, Jake reached into his back pocket and found a small note you had quietly slipped there. It was a sweet declaration, simple but meaningful, words that reflected everything you didn’t always say out loud.
He knew that you worked best through actions, but the note reminded him of the affection that was always present in every little thing you did.
The sound of the doorbell ringing had Jake jumping off the couch, eager to greet you. As the door swung open, he gave you no chance to breathe, pulling you closer to lessen the longing of the warmth of your body, his lips crashing onto yours with a fervor that told you everything you needed to know for now. 
“Hi– To you– Too!–” You tried to mumble against the kiss, giggling at how desperate Jake was behaving while stumbling on your legs as you entered the house, struggling to follow his messy lead.
“Want you.” He whispered as a vain explanation, guiding you both to his room without a care in the world.
With a blink of a second your half-closed eyes caught his deep frown, and your smile faltered while your body tensed straightaway. It triggered a strange feeling in your chest to perceive Jake’s urgency. You sensed something was off, weird even; you had just left home under Jay's analytical gaze, knowing you were hiding a huge secret from him, one he could be absurdly close to discovering – or maybe he already had. Now, with Jake’s unforeseen demeanor, if you forced yourself hard enough to connect the dots, you would say the man kissing you was holding some information back.
Or atleast holding something back. 
“Wait, wait–” You tried to break the sloppy kiss by pushing Jake’s chest lightly, away enough to attempt to pry an explanation out of him without his mouth devouring yours. “What happened?”
Jake’s eyes roamed your concerned face briefly, a flicker of hesitation flashing before he smiled tenderly. His hands on your hips pressed the area ever so mildly, as though he fought a way to anchor him, as if he suddenly started fearing to lose your touch.
You didn’t buy his smile.
“Can’t a man miss his woman?”
His woman.
Though the manner of addressing you had your heart swirling in a sweet, thrilling carousel and your cheeks warming up, you couldn’t help the growing bittersweetness slowly and painfully swallowing your entire being. 
“Yes, you can,” you didn’t hold back your half-smile before your eyes softened, nearly teetering a probing, piercing one as your hands softly caressed Jake’s face. “But I feel like there’s something more.”
Jake’s breath hitched, not due to how intense he was kissing you just seconds ago, but mostly because you were so fucking right.
Jake had a problem sleeping last night after you confirmed you would visit him the next day. Excitement? No. Fear.
Inviting you over to his place felt like a way of grounding the relationship, making it real. Alongside the once-conflicted feelings that had now settled comfortably into love, there was the weight of responsibility to bring you into his world, to make it real for everyone, make it real to his best friend. To your brother.
Jake wasn’t exactly afraid of his friendship with Jay falling apart. Though hurtful, he for sure could find ways to live through it. He did worry about you. To Jay, you were family – true family, tied by blood. If things went wrong, you wouldn’t have the luxury of cutting ties; you would be forced to navigate whatever fallout happened. Jake hoped fervently that it wouldn’t come to that, that you wouldn’t have to face a harsh reality just because you both liked – loved – each other. 
Yet, a new sense of resolve was rising within him, making him believe that no matter the outcome, he would do whatever it took to keep you by his side. Fighting for you felt easy. Making you happy was his ultimate goal. 
Jake would cross oceans, move heaven and earth if that meant to stay with you.
So, you were right, because he was overthinking the possibility of telling Jay about your relationship. But before, there was going to be a relationship to begin with.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” 
Jake caught on your body shifting and backing away a little, your breath stuttering, eyes widening, wavering before his proposal. He found himself panicking within a snap prior to your silence, cursing internally for letting his feelings take over and the question to escape his lips.
A bit longer. Just a bit longer he should have waited to understand where you stood emotionally when the subject was the two of you, because beyond considering your feelings, Jay was in the equation as well, difficulting the possibilities of the said relationship to blossom. 
There was no coming back, though. The words flew out of his mouth, lingering in the air and weightening it as you quietly processed what you had just heard, wondering if you were tripping. 
Jake gulped and immediately started to ramble, fumbling over his words with a voice that broke a bit once and a while as he did so, trying to cover up the angushing lack of noises between you both.
To some extent, Jake feared you would somehow hear his heart beating in panic. 
“You don’t have to accept,” he began, his voice unsure, yet full of vulnerability. “I mean, we’re seeing each other almost everyday, and I really have feelings for you and maybe... Maybe you feel the same? For me?” He hesitated, puppy eyes wide and glistening with hope and desperation searching for any sign from you. He found nothing.
“L–Like, we’re having sex quite often and I like your company a lot,” he stammered. “I’d love to call you my girlfriend. I know there’s Jay and he’s your brother and he may not accept it, but I’m willing to–”
“Shut up.” You cut him off sharply by pressing a finger on his mouth.
A deep frown marked your forehead as you pondered thoughtfully, your gaze focusing on some random spot down the hallway behind Jake’s back, your mind racing.
Jake froze, eyes growing bigger at your reaction, his lips pursing together in a small, adorable pout that made your heart twist.
“Ok.”
You almost felt guilty for making him go through whatever was racing in his head; hearing his voice falter made your chest ache. At the same time, you couldn’t blame yourself, not when Jake had literally just asked you to be his girlfriend.
It was the question, the most important one of your life so far, the very one you had dreamed of hearing from him with his attractive Australian accent, nearly bordering a childish fantasy. 
“Please, just say something…” Jake pleaded, voice cracking with anxiety. “Even if it’s a no…”
His words hit you like a wave crashing onto rocks. Your head snapped towards his direction, your wide eyes shooting a skeptical, confused glance, increasing his own confusion. Jake tilted his head to the side, just like a puppy, and then the realization hit. 
“What?” You exclaimed, a hint of laughter tempting to burst out. “No! Babe, no…”
There was a clear layer of desperation on your voice now, as you shook your head frantically and sweetly placed countless kisses on Jake’s plump lips, cupping his face gently to keep him steady. He tried to ignore how his chest burned deliciously with the pet name.
“God, no, I’d never say no,” you muttered, his breath of relief fanning your face kindly, enough to ease your own heart. “I was just… Taken aback. I never expected my lifelong crush to ask me to be his girlfriend,” you giggled as you said, feeling a fluster creep up your neck towards your face. 
Jake’s half-open eyes enjoyed the tenderness touch you showered him with, but then he suddenly dropped to something similar to confusion again, pulling back just slightly to look you in the eyes.
“Sorry, lifelong crush? Me?” His voice was a mix of disbelief and amusement. 
You laughed again, the sound light and full of affection before you hid yourself on the crook of his perfumed neck; the scent easing your senses right away. 
“Yes, you,” you mumbled, shyly. “You– You have been on my mind for quite a long time, Jaeyun,” to admit it out loud had you even more embarrassed, so you choose not to pinpoint precisely when. Not for now. Gladly, he didn’t push you as well. He would make the most of it later on.
“So…” He trailed off, pushing you off your hideout to offer you the most beaming expression you ever saw him having.
Jake was so, so gorgeous, with his wide, contagious smile, the soft curve at the ends framing it perfectly. Eyes sparkling with adoration, giving you the most tender and expectant look.
“Yes, Jake. I’d like to be your girlfriend.”
“Mhm,” he nodded, feigning a cool, relaxed demeanor you both knew wasn’t actually true, trying to hide the actual urge to jump like crazy behind a mischievous smirk. You arched an eyebrow, expectation growing slowly in your chest. “Where should I first take you as my girlfriend now?”
You giggled, biting your bottom lip with a naughty smile as you felt your heart palpitating harder; Jake would always be your crush after all. And to know you had him as your boyfriend only increased your arousal amidst the unfolding talk.
“How about your room, mhm?” A finger slowly traced his jawline, eyes dropping to something more intense. “Bet you have a lot of physics stuff in there, am I right?” 
Jake laughed at your subtly mocking, yet naive words, especially because you both knew you weren’t wrong at all – and where that type of conversation would lead.
“Oh, you have no idea, darling,” he shot back, mirroring your tone as he pressed you back against his bedroom door, pushing it open with a deliberate motion. “Gotta show you how physics explains some… very special positions, yeah?”
You weren’t entirely sure how it happened, since things with Jake usually escalated quickly once your lips met, but now he was hovering over you, his firm body pressing you into the bed, kissing you slowly and consumingly, as his fingers roamed over every centimeter of exposed skin.
You were well aware of how tempted Jake was by your legs – one of the reasons you had chosen that particular skirt – but you were uncertain if you would ever get used to how he grasped at you, his fingers digging in as though he needed to pull you closer, as if he desperately wanted to break the laws of physics and turn you both into one single body, occupying the same space.
Each time he rocked forward, grinding himself against you in search of any fleeting relief, waves of heat and excitement coursed through your veins straight to your core.
When a soft moan escaped, the noise vanished in between the heated touch and Jake lost composure. His mouth left yours only to travel lower, finding the sensitive line of your neck, lips pressing eagerly, his tongue tracing over the spots he knew would make you shiver, followed by a soft scrape of his teeth as he teased every weak point with deliberate care.
Your nails dug into his shoulder as your head fell back onto his pillow, granting him full access, your other hand tangling in the softness of his brown locks, gently tugging as his lips moved with purpose. But Jake’s impatience was hard to miss. He drifted down to your jawline, then lower, hands trying to slip beneath your sweater in an attempt to feel more of you.
“No,” you tugged his head back by his hair. “No, no, no. Listen, I get you’re excited and believe me, I am too, but–” You tried to speak between the sloppy kisses Jake continued planting along your jaw, a clear attempt to quiet you. “We have to study.”
“Please,” he breathed, a whine escaping him, not giving a care about how tight you gripped his strands, lowering himself, nuzzling his nose against the fabric of your sweater. “Please, I need you. I need to feel you.”
“We have to study.” You echoed what you just said and somehow it seemed to be rather to bring you back from the blissful lust than to take Jake away from it.
“Please,” with a plea, Jake locked his eyes onto yours, his voice thick with desperation.
You swallowed nothing as you saw deep, raw, intense desire once you met his gaze.
Jake had his two beautiful orbs oozing with craving, with need. His jaw was clenched, his features somewhat sharper under the dim light of his room. The sight nearly made you moan aloud, perhaps longing to have Jake between your legs more than him himself. 
The blaze in your stomach increased as he leaned down slowly, fierce eyes still glazed onto yours, little by little decreasing the distance between his face and your still covered cunt, teasing to get under your skirt.
You knew exactly what Jake wanted. He had hinted at it so many times it was almost impossible not to relent. And yet, despite the power he somehow had over your decisions in moments like these, sending you easily into a haze of desire, you were a woman of your word.
“No,” you murmured, reluctantly pushing his head away and sitting up. “Do you remember our deal?”
Jake's gaze flickered, torn between your tempting thighs with the pretty skirt framing them perfectly and the inflexible expression on your face, the frustration evident. God, he could already picture himself getting lost in between your legs, your thighs squishing his head because he was pleasuring you so good. And preferably wearing the exact same skirt you wore.
“Fine,” he huffed, rolling his eyes like a scolded child. “Let’s study so you can ace that fucking exam.”
You bit back a grin as you read Jake’s pouty face, reaching over to grab the collar of his white shirt and pull his body onto yours one last time, starting a slow, savoring kiss. You sucked his bottom lip within a quiet smack sound as you drew back.
“Sorry, can’t help myself,” you muttered with a cheeky smile, eliciting a chuckle from Jake. 
Your eyes tracked the motion of his tongue sweeping across his swollen, reddened lips, stealing any lingering remnant of your taste before standing on his foot.
“You’re trouble,” he said while offering you a hand. “And I like that.”
When he headed you over his desk, you smirked, ignoring the slap he gifted your ass with before sitting. 
“So, sound waves, huh?” you purred, fingers tracing over the open page before looking up at him with a playful glint. “I’m curious how you’d explain it to me.”
Jake would always follow the same flow. He would start with you beside him, explaining the concepts from the book in simple terms, and you would initially go along, absorbing the material through the practical examples Jake offered so effortlessly.
But then your attention would start to drift – to the way his lips moved, the soft, deep resonance of his voice that seemed to echo through your entire body, the way his slender fingers moved as he gestured with every point he made... And soon, Jake would begin to lose his composure, deciding to take a far more hands-on approach to his “teaching.”
After a call from Jay asking what was taking so long for you to go home – an unusual demeanor that got goosebumps spreading over your skin – and a lame excuse that you were deeply focused on reviewing the materials for your exam, you ended up back on Jake’s bed, on all fours with his hardened, throbbing dick pounding fast into you.
“The louder you scream,” Jake thrusted deep, hitting your g-spot tirelessly, making you cry his name out just like he was saying. “The greater the amplitude of the sound waves. It carries more e–energy.”
“Fuck, Jake,” you rolled your eyes, though no one could actually see you doing that. 
Your hands clutched the colorful sheets underneath you as a way to keep yourself sane, to maintain your conscience stable and grounded; you doubted you wouldn’t even remember your name, nonetheless. It was hard to think of anything else other than Jake’s name being chanted by your tired throat, Jake’s dick buried deep into you, Jake’s hands grasping your hips to keep you still, Jake’s desperate moans, searching for his release. Jake was everywhere. 
“So– deep–” You whined, your walls clenching around his length, your dripping juices coating precisely each part of it. 
“Yeah, babe?” Jake’s voice dropped an octave, squeezing your hips hard enough to leave marks. The fleeting thought made him groan, because it sounded like you were his propriety. “Like my cock deep into your pussy, mhm?”
“Fucking hell, yes,” you faltered on your arms, dropping almost completely on the bed if wasn’t for Jake’s steady grip on your waist. 
You could feel his dick twitching inside your cunt, the realization he was getting close sparking up in between the haze bliss you were going through, lost in pure, raw desire. Jake was fucking you so good.
“So fucking perfect,” Jake managed to say with trembling voice and between groans before his rhythm grew frantic, uneven, irregular. “My good girl, isn’t that right?”
You agreed within a mumble, not able to form proper words, eliciting a chuckle from Jake. 
“I want your cum,” you said muffled, somehow finding strength to force your body back and meet Jake’s thrusts. “I want it so bad, Jakey–”
After testing words, dirty talks, movements, even decisions when sharing those moments with Jake, you managed to select a few things you could do to drive him insane, near the edge almost instantly. So it took just a few pumps for you to be filled with Jake’s warm liquid, his orgasm hitting strong as he threw his head back, choking in between a long, delicious moan. He held you still, his dick deep into you as his body shuddered, hips stuttering while he enjoyed his overwhelming pleasure. 
With a hiss Jake released you from his grip, removing his length slowly, eliciting a discontent whine from you since not only you didn’t cum, but also felt the immediate lack of fulfillment and the feeling of his seed dripping down your legs. His hooded eyes were blurry, but he caught a brief view of it together with your slightly bruised skin before dropping his exhausted body onto the bed. Hot.
You quietly watched as he laid near you, how his chest rose and fell heavily, the known silver necklace moving together with it; you took the opportunity to come back to yourself, regulating your own breathing and regaining control of your body – deep down you knew Jake was just getting ready to give you your own climax. However, a mischievous plan popped into your mind and you couldn’t let it slide so easily, not when you finally had the chance of hearing him screaming your name without fearing your brother. 
“Lemme ride you,” you muttered suddenly and moved to position yourself on top of Jake, hands finding support on his torso, straddling with a knee on each side of his body.
“Babe, wait a bit–” He said within a frown, but not really doing anything to stop you; he just rested his palms on your waist, watching you grab his slightly softened shaft to align on his lower stomach. “Doll, please–” When you wiggled your hips to fit your wet, warm folds in his cock and started to deliberately grind, he nearly screamed. “Please, stop–”
Your eyes darted over his contorted face, not halting your movements as you did so, a soft moan leaving your mouth.
Such a lustful sight. Jake had his beautiful and swollen lips parted, silent, whispered pleas escaping it as his brows furrowed deeper; eyes closed tightly, cheeks flustered and breaths coming out ragged, mixed with airy moans that only intensified as you started to rut back and forth faster.
“Please, babe, ‘m sensitive–” 
Jake felt his head spinning, quite literally as he squirmed and abstractly, nonsense words cutting through the thick air, because, God, it felt so strangely good to be overstimulated by you. 
“Do you want me to really stop, Jakey?” You asked sweetly, yet a bit concerned that he was actually not enjoying it as you leaned forward to suck the skin of his sensitive neck.
He moaned. Like, really moaned and shook his head frantically.
“Mhm, fuck–” You lifted your body again just in time to catch his eyes rolling and fluttering close. “D–Don’t you dare to, fuck, to stop–” 
You kept on rolling your hips with a grin dancing on your lips. Jake’s sensitive tip touched your clit even so often, provoking your body to spasm a little. You aimed to get him hard again, so you could finally fuck yourself and achieve your orgasm, and because of the earlier interaction of your bodies you weren’t that far from coming.
Jake opened his eyes lazily, taking in the view of your exposed chest that quickly was being abused by his big hands, pinching your hardened nipples and kneading the soft flesh of them. You threw your head back, mouth falling open with the feeling of Jake touching almost everywhere.
At some point, Jake’s length was completely stiff beneath you and you took no time to position it in your pulsing hole, sinking in one go that had you and Jake throwing heads back with loud moans. 
Your breath was irregular when you propped your hands on each side of Jake’s face, starting to bounce in an unwavering pace that, together with the way you locked eyes with Jake, fierce and full of determination to finish, got him moaning within a smirk, proudly.
“Look at you,” Jake cooed at you, his voice hoarse, hands raising to tenderly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear to give him the full view of your pleasant contorted face.
“Yes, that's it,” he encouraged, sliding his fingers down your sides, squeezing it mildly; his lips stretching into a bigger smirk when you started to whimper and clench around his length. “Ride it, baby. Use me to get yourself off.”
And so you did, speeding up your rhythm as you chased desperately for your own release and consequently led Jake towards his – he was extra reactive due to the overstimulation, so at that point he was practically holding himself back not to cum again, craving to keep on feeling your tight walls squeezing his dick and eventually you creaming it.
Jake was big, hard and deliciously leaking inside you, his tip reaching your g-spot with ease and constancy, enough to make you start to scream as your moans grew louder. When his slender fingers found their place on your clit, rubbing fast circles to help you out, you couldn’t help but close your eyes with your mouth agape, a blender of whimpers and whines melodically falling from your lips as your arms began to fail to hold you in that position, making you slightly falter forward.
“J–Jake– ugh, fuck, so fucking good–” You stammered amidst cries of pleasure, feeling the coil in your low stomach teasing a strong build up.
At the same time your thighs began to burn, frustration emerging together with your desperation to cum, your own body betraying your release as you wavered the pace. Within seconds Jake took notice of how exhausted you were starting to act, and in no world he would let his girl down, so to maintain the same posture he propped his legs up, feet planted on his bed as he whispered for you to stop for a second.
“Just… Trust me,” he mumbled after seeing your confused face while letting go of your sensitive bundle of nerves from his skilled fingers to grab your ass, full hands in each cheek, holding you still as he started to push himself upwards.
You rolled your eyes quite instantly, letting your body fall onto his, your face finding its place on the curve of his pretty neck, where you started to pant and messily kiss in between your heavy breaths. Jake was leading the entire moves, pushing you down and pulling him up, heavenly deep. 
Each desperate, frantic, urgent thrust was leading you closer to your climax; you could sense it was going to be a strong one, and your whiny moans gave it away for Jake, who found himself teetering the edge as well.
“Close– ‘m close– So close–” He cried, feeling his dick leaking precum already. 
With a snap you let it go completely, your body shaking in uneven spasms as your juices fully coated Jake’s length within a long, striking moan. His own release followed yours, since your clenching cunt and the lewd wet noises as he rode you through your high left no room for any sanity or self-control. 
Jake’s big hands squeezed the flesh of your ass, shoving his cum inside you and the rhythm slowly faltered, hips stuttering as the last waves of pleasure coursed through both of you.
The room suddenly shrank as you both started to deliberately drift away from the blissful raze of raw arousal, nearly gasping for air as you did so. 
“Don’t pull out,” your words sounded more slurred than you expected, but the sweet silence in the air helped Jake to understand you, still experiencing the aftershocks of his orgasm.
“Holy.” 
It was everything he managed to say before the quietness took over again. You felt Jake caressing your bare back, slowly and tenderly, filled with an affection you wanted to receive only from him, fluttering the butterflies in your belly.
Eventually he was stroking your hair and hugging you close, his length still inside of you, prolonging the amazing sensation of being full. And somehow, you fell in love even harder.
“So that’s what freedom tastes like?” You heard Jake mumbling against your ear after a while, his honeyed voice cutting through the air kindly, and a tired laugh escaped your lips.
You couldn’t help the small sting in your heart as you heard the question, afterall, none of those escaping and hiding moments would be happening if he wasn’t your brother’s best friend. You wanted to be able to love Jake openly. And hoped he could love you back just as much. 
“Yeah…” You whispered within a broken smile that Jake didn’t catch. 
“I may grow addicted to it.”
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Jake wanted you to stay for the night, caring little to nothing about whatever could happen if Sunghoon and Heeseung found out. But you weren’t worried about them that much, you could easily coax your way out of it. 
You were frightened of your brother. 
So after a soothing warm shower to calm your nerves and with Jake reassuring you that the excuse you had created was perfectly convincing, you headed back, praying for Jay to be sleeping already or, even better: not at home. 
You moved as quietly as possible, trying not to make a sound while unlocking the door, like a teenager sneaking in after breaking curfew, heart racing in anticipation of being caught.
It was so weird to have that feeling, to hide things from your brother, the one you trusted blindly because he would never judge you. Still, the situation was fragile, unusual. It was a new territory where if you pushed too far, the consequences could be far worse than you were prepared to handle.
Jake somehow eased your stirring anxiety with his sweet words and calming voice when he embraced you in a last comforting hug before you left. 
“He would never be mad at you, darling.”
With Jake’s voice whispering tenderly in your head like a mantra, you finally opened the front door, stepping into the darkness of your apartment. 
A deep sigh of relief escaped as you closed the door behind you, careful not to make a sound, the faint click of the lock triggering a shiver that quickly vanished as you realized you might be alone. You could practically feel how your tensed shoulders loosed as you started to casually slip off your boots.
“So, how was it with Jake?”
You froze in place, back turned to where the voice came from.
Jay.
The lights suddenly turned on, but you had no courage to turn and face your brother, especially after feeling the burning sensation on your back that told you he was staring unwaveringly. The question hung in the air, thick and tense, as much as your body began to feel right after. His voice wasn’t accusing, but it still carried an underlying heavy weight you feared to understand completely. 
"It was fine," you forced out, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out thin, shaky. The lie tasted bitter on your tongue as you unfortunately became aware it wasn’t enough to fool him. Not anymore. “W–We studied sound waves and… Watched a documentary. About it. He ordered food too… It was… Cool.”
Your sentences were barely coercive. Unstable, insecure, because your mind was no longer working properly.  Telling blatant lies was something you never imagined yourself doing to Jay, and you certainly couldn’t consider yourself good at it at all. 
Still, you pushed through, trying your hardest to sound convincing, desperately hoping to make it through the day. Your body was screaming for a proper rest, drained from the adrenaline and energy spent earlier that Jay was oblivious so far.
Maybe the next day would be easier – maybe confronting Jay wouldn’t feel so impossible.
“Yeah?” Jay muttered and you finally turned on your heels to look at him.
He was leaning on the wall, smiling – but not a very pleasant smile. He had his hands shoved inside his trousers’ pockets, jaw clenched, eyes fierce, cutting through you as if he read your deepest secrets. You gulped nervously, hands starting to tremble; you could feel your heart pounding in your eardrums. 
“Did he teach you about sound waves while you screamed his fucking name?”
Your instant reaction was to almost mutter a quiet and confused “how did you know?”, your face dropping as the panic started to crawl in your skin. You just got caught and you had nowhere to run.
“Did he tell you two were alone, Y/N?”
Your heart dropped to your stomach immediately as he questioned and started to walk. Each step Jay took towards you felt like a heavy drumbeat, as if time had slowed down painfully, weightening the atmosphere absurdly, grounding you way too much; it felt as though heavy shackles with iron balls were bound to each of your feet, holding you in a way that left you suffocated and powerless. Excruciatingly overwhelming. 
“Because you probably were.” He stopped in front of you, his nostrils moving within each ragged breath. You could picture the haze of pure anger his mind got lost through his fierce eyes, eyes that never left yours. “During the first hour.” He added between gritted teeth and you shivered, your eyes widening as you took a step back, fearing falling because as realization hit, you practically felt the ground being pulled from beneath your feet.
There was no way Jake had lied to you, right? Leading you into a trap just to ruin your relationship with your brother. Why would he do that? You couldn't believe it, because that wasn’t the Jake you knew – it wasn’t the Jake who had just asked you to be his girlfriend with eyes shining with passion before giving you one of the most heartfelt kisses you had ever experienced. Jake wouldn’t do that.
How did your brother find out, then?
Jay shook his head slightly, his expression hardening further before a bitter, dry laugh escaping his pursed lips. He saw the look of disbelief in your eyes, the shock written all over your face and he read it precisely.
"No, Jake didn’t tell me,” he explained briefly to your racing thoughts. “He just didn’t know Sunghoon would be home earlier than expected."
Jay, though clearly upset, spoke with an edge of reassurance. His voice was low, barely concealing the tension and irritation simmering beneath it, still, worried about you.
A cold wave sprang in your chest as the realization struck like a bolt of lightning, your body quivering with fear and your wide, glistening eyes teasing to collapse in tears. You felt exposed. Vulnerable. Your secret was no longer a secret, and you instantly cursed yourself for holding it secretly to begin with.
Stupid, dumb, idiot.
Jay took a deep breath and you, another step back, trying to run away from the radiating rage coming out of his frightening presence. Jay was bigger and taller than you, and right at that moment, you felt even smaller.
“Do you have any idea of what it's like to find out that my little sister is screwing around with my best friend? And worse – hiding it from me?”
Jay didn’t yell, in fact his voice was dropping an octave, low as possible, and was more than enough to leave you on the verge of crying, your eyes stung, averting his angry ones. You lowered your head.
“I'm sorry, Jay, I–”
“Wasn't thinking correctly? Didn't think I'd find out? Cut off with your lame excuses, Y/N.” 
It was the first time Jay talked to you with such a cold tone, sharp as a knife, yet quiet. Something about the fact that he was mad, and still had a lowkey calm voice triggered the worst on you. 
“You lied to me, Y/N. Lied.” His voice faltered, but only for a moment. The raw emotion in his words was enough to pierce through the façade he had been trying to maintain, his eyes glimmering with tears, bringing the worst from your own feelings towards the situation.
Your breath hitched, the sting of betrayal and guilt washing over you. Unfortunately though, Jay wasn’t finished. 
“We promised not to lie to each other, Y/N. And you broke that promise.” His eyes burned into you, like they were seeing right through the walls you had built to shield yourself, the same barriers Jay once helped you to create, to feel stronger before the ones who tried to destroy your dreams. To destroy you.
For seconds, you saw your parents on Jay. For a brief moment, you pictured your younger self being scolded for your small mistakes and decisions, never being good enough. For the slightest millisecond, you hated your brother.
“Go to your room.”
You lifted your confused eyes only to see Jay cleaning his tears with the back of his hand. 
“Are you grounding me?” You asked quietly, but a hint of angriness stirred to snap out. 
Jay chuckled again, humorless. “No,” he gave you a last look with a mild head shake. “I just can’t see you now,” his sincerity was like a slap on your face. And you had no doubt that receiving one would hurt way less. “And you’re old enough to know you’ve fucked things up big time.”
Saying you cried all night would be an understatement. Having feelings for Jake now felt like a bittersweet ache, hard to swallow and to have close to you. You couldn’t help but get into a spiral of darker thoughts.
Was it worth it?
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part 2
3K notes · View notes
mygcherryy · 1 month ago
Text
dirty little secret | jjk
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you’re tired of being hidden away, and he’s given one last chance to show you what you mean to him.
pairing — bf!jungkook x gf!reader
content — angst, fluff, smut
wordcount — 8.7k
warnings — jungkook and reader have an argument, jk is a bit of an asshole?, bigdick!jk, kissing, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, hair pulling, unprotected sex (stay safe hotties), creampie, slight dacryphilia, body worship, aftercare, really fucking emotional sex omggg
notes — this is my first time posting on tumblr in yeeeears omg i literally forget how to use it, hope you all enjoy !!! :)
18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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he's done it again.
every time you two go out, it's always the same routine: take separate cars, arrive at different times to avoid suspicion, and most importantly - never, under any circumstances, be seen together. it's like you don't even exist in each other's lives when you're out in public, and it eats away at you every single time.
you should be used to it by now. you should have learned to swallow the bitterness, to accept the reality of what you signed up for. but tonight, something inside you snapped. something fragile, something exhausted.
you have had enough.
because tonight was different. it was namjoon's birthday - jungkook's bandmate, his best friend, one of the most important people in his life. it should have been a night for him to show you off, to not be afraid to be seen with you, but it was anything but that. tonight, he didn't just ignore you - he barely even glanced your way. not once. not even in the brief, stolen moments he usually gives you, when his gaze flickers to yours across the room, just long enough for you to catch it before he looks away. tonight, it was like you didn't even exist.
and maybe that's what hurts the most.
you had watched him, watched as he laughed, as he leaned in close to whisper something to someone else, his expression easy and unbothered. watched as he lived his life so effortlessly while you sat there, locked in this quiet, invisible cage of his making.
he looked free.
and you, his best kept secret, felt like nothing.
your fingers curl into your palms as you step into the bedroom, a deep, aching frustration crawling beneath your skin. one of jungkook's drivers had just dropped you back to his apartment, and because of jungkook's dumb "separate cars" rule, you were the first one home. you tug the zipper down on your dress with shaking hands, peeling the fabric off your body as though shedding the weight of the entire night. it falls to the floor in a careless heap, but you don't pick it up. you can't.
there's a lump in your throat.
god, you feel stupid.
stupid for thinking you could handle this. stupid for believing that the stolen moments, the whispered "i love you"s behind closed doors, would be enough. stupid for waiting - for him, for something to change, for the day he might finally choose you without hesitation.
you pull an old t-shirt over your head, one that used to belong to him. it shouldn't bring you comfort, but it does, and you hate yourself for it.
when you catch your reflection in the mirror, you barely recognize the girl staring back at you. her eyes are tired, rimmed with the remnants of mascara she hasn't wiped away yet. she looks small, like someone who has spent too many nights waiting for something that will never come.
you reach for a makeup wipe with more force than necessary, dragging it across your skin like it'll somehow erase more than just the smudged eyeliner. like it'll erase the way you feel - this dull, aching loneliness that clings to you even when he's right beside you.
but no matter how hard you scrub, it doesn't go away.
you toss the wipe into the trash, letting out a slow, unsteady breath before crawling into bed. the sheets are cold, empty, and offer little comfort - at least not in the way it usually does.
you lie with your back to the door, eyes fixated on the picture jungkook kept of you both on his bedside table, a small tear rolling down your cheek as you try to shut your mind off and sleep.
a few minutes pass before you hear the front door open. your heart clenches, but you don't move. you just listen.
to his footsteps. to the rustle of his jacket as he takes it off. to the quiet sigh he lets out before making his way toward the bedroom.
the door creaks open, and you don't need to look to know he's standing there, watching you.
waiting.
but you're too tired to be the first one to break this silence. not this time.
"y/n?"
his voice is soft, hesitant. you hear him shift in the doorway, the weight of his presence pressing against the silence.
"are you okay?" he asks, then whispers, "are you asleep?"
the question makes your chest tighten. he sounds so unaware, so oblivious to the storm that's been brewing inside you all night. you don't trust yourself to speak, to keep the bitterness from spilling over, so you say nothing.
let him believe you're sleeping.
you hear him sigh as he switches off the bedside lamp. the rustle of fabric as he shrugs off his jacket, the clinking of his rings as he pulls them off one by one. then, the sound of his belt unbuckling, the faint drop of his jeans hitting the floor.
he moves around the room like this is any other night, like he hasn't just spent hours pretending you don't exist.
the bed dips as he climbs in beside you. warmth radiates from his skin, his presence filling the space you had just started to get used to being empty.
then, his lips.
soft, pressing against the bare skin of your shoulder.
you tense.
he doesn't notice. or maybe he does, and he just doesn't care.
his mouth trails up, lips brushing against the curve of your neck, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver down your spine. his hand finds your waist beneath the sheets, fingers grazing your hip, his touch light, teasing.
like nothing is wrong.
like he didn't just spend the entire night pretending you were nothing to him.
like he isn't the reason your heart feels like it's cracking open inside your chest.
"stop." you mutter.
"oh." jungkook smirks against your skin, plating another kiss on your shoulder. "so you are awake."
his hand travels down from your side and onto your stomach and up towards your breasts, gently caressing them as his thumb swipes over your nipple. "you looked beautiful tonight baby." he purrs into your shoulder. "couldn't wait to get you home..."
"jungkook, stop it..." you warned. "i mean it."
he chuckles, his alcohol stained breath vibrating against your neck, making your stomach turn. "mmh, i love it when you play hard to get." jungkook teases, nibbling at your earlobe. he stops playing with your boob, and his hand snakes down to your core, palming you through your pants. "come on baby," he grumbles lowly in your ear, kissing your nape again. "been thinking about you all night."
"stop it."
jungkook's fingers press into you through your panties as he pulls your hips back to meet his, desperately. "come on... it's been three weeks." he whines. "need you..."
something inside you snaps.
"jesus FUCKING christ, jungkook, get off of me!" you yell, swatting his hand away with more force than necessary, shifting out of his reach.
he freezes. "what?!"
you push yourself up on your elbows, turning on the light, and  turning to face him. in the dim glow of the bedside lamp, you see the confusion knitting his brows together, the flicker of surprise in his eyes. like he genuinely doesn't understand.
that only makes you angrier.
"are you fucking serious right now?" you let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. "you ignored me all night. you acted like i wasn't even fucking there. and now you just think you can climb into bed and try to fuck me and act like everything's fine?"
his expression hardens. "y/n, i don't like it either, but you know why we have to-"
"do i?" you cut him off, your anger bubbling over. "because i'm starting to think this has nothing to do with protecting me, and maybe you just like having me hidden away."
his jaw clenches. "that's not fair."
"isn't it?" you scoff, folding your arms over your chest. "you don't fucking get it, do you? you get to go out and live your life like normal. you get to laugh, have fun, talk to whoever you want. but me? i just sit there, waiting for you to remember i exist."
jungkook exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. "that's not how it is."
"then tell me how it is, jungkook," you snap. "explain to me why this is okay. why i should be okay with being treated like some dirty little secret."
his face twists, frustration flashing across his features. "you know that's not what you are to me."
"then why does it feel like it?"
silence.
his lips part like he wants to say something, but no words come out.
you shake your head, voice quieter now. "i love you, jungkook. i really fucking love you but... i can't. i can't carry on like this."
his eyes widen slightly. "y/n..."
but you're already looking away, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from spilling over.
"just forget it." you sink back against the pillows, turning your back to him as you turned off the lamp. "go to sleep."
but sleep is the last thing on your mind.
the silence in the room was suffocating. jungkook had finally settled beside you, his body warm against yours, but his presence felt miles away. he didn't say anything, he just laid there, his breathing steady, the tension between you two thick enough to cut through with a knife. you could feel his eyes burning through the back of your head, but you couldn't bring yourself to turn back around and look at him. there was too much unsaid, too much that had broken between you tonight.
an hour passed in this aching quiet, each second a reminder of everything you'd tried to ignore for so long. his steady breathing, his soft sighs - each one was a stab to your chest. you cant stop the tears that slowly well up, your eyes burning with frustration and confusion. why did it have to be like this? why did you have to hurt so much when you loved him?
you turn over slightly, wiping the silent tears away, trying desperately not to wake him. but as you stare up at the blank ceiling, the weight of everything finally broke you. this isn't love, not anymore. the realization crashed over you, cold and sharp, like a slap in the face. you can't do this anymore.
you had spent so many nights convincing yourself things would get better. that he'd see you. that he'd finally love you the way you deserved. but tonight, something inside you snapped. the love, the passion - it was there, sure - but it wasn't enough. it would never be enough if he kept you hidden. if he kept treating you like you were something to be tucked away and forgotten.
your chest tightens, and before you could stop it, a broken sob escaped your lips. you bury your face in your hands, trying to stifle the sound, but it doesn’t matter anymore. nothing matters.
you have to leave.
with shaking hands, you slip quietly out of the bed, the coldness of the room wrapping around you like a cloak. you don’t care that it’s late, don’t care that he’s still lying there - your body moves on autopilot.
you make your way over to his drawers, pulling open the top one that he kept for your clothes. you hold back quiet sobs as you empty all of your belongings into one of his gym bags. your breath keeps catching in your throat at the realisation that this was it - you're leaving him.
your fingers fumble as you slip on your sweatpants, tears blurring your vision, but you don’t stop. you can’t.
you are halfway into your hoodie when you hear jungkook stir, a soft groan escaping him. you freeze, panic surging in your chest. he shifts, mumbling something incoherent, before the bed creaks under his weight as he pushes himself up, clearly confused. "y/n?" his voice is hoarse, thick with sleep, but the moment he spoke, something inside you snapped. his voice, the one you had always loved, sounded foreign now. it breaks you all over again.
"what are you..." he mutters sleepily, still not fully awake. his eyes flicker open, and he glances at you, blinking through the haze of his sleep. "y/n, what are you doing?"
you dont look at him. you can’t. if you did, you might break completely.
"i'm leaving." you whisper, the words almost impossible to get out. the sobs come again, but this time you let them fall freely, your heart breaking with each one. "i can't stay here anymore."
jungkook's confusion quickly morphs into panic. he bolts upright, his gaze frantic as he looks at you, then the bed, then back to you. "no..." he says, his voice urgent and desperate. "no, please, don't-"
but you don’t stop. you have to leave.
"y/n, please," he begs, his voice raw, breaking apart with every word. "please don't do this. we can talk, we can fix this—"
"i can't fix this." you interrupt, your voice small and trembling, but firm. "not anymore. i'm tired, jungkook. i'm so tired. i'm going home."
"what are you talking about?! this is your home!"
his words hit you like a slap.
slowly, you turn to face him.
jungkook's sitting on the edge of the bed now, watching you with wide, uncertain eyes. his hair is tousled, lips slightly parted, still trying to piece together what's happening.
but you're already breaking.
a sharp, bitter laugh escapes you, one that holds no real humor. "my home?" your voice is unsteady, and you shake your head in disbelief. "you really think this is my home?"
his brows furrow. "y/n..."
"this isn't my home, jungkook," you cut him off, voice rising. "this is a place i stay when it's convenient for you, whenever you want a fuck or someone to keep you company. a place i have to sneak in and out of like i don't belong here." you let out a breathless, pained laugh. "you want to know what home feels like? it's where you don't have to question whether you matter, where you feel wanted and appreciated. and this..." you gesture around the room, at the dim lighting, the bed you've laid in so many times, the walls that have held too many secrets, "...this isn't it."
his expression darkens, something shifting in his eyes. he stands abruptly, the mattress bouncing slightly with the movement.
"that's not fair." jungkook says, voice low. "you know what we have is real."
you scoff, shaking your head. "real? real for who, jungkook? because it sure as hell doesn't feel real for me."
he takes a step closer, hands reaching out like he's desperate to hold onto something slipping through his fingers. "y/n, stop."
"stop what?" you throw your arms out. "stop feeling like i'm not enough? stop wanting more than to be treated like some shameful secret?" your voice cracks, and you hate how raw it sounds, how vulnerable. "because i can't, jungkook. i can't just turn it off."
his jaw tightens. "you think i don't want more?" his voice rises slightly, frustration creeping in. "you think i like this? you think i don't hate myself every time i have to pretend you're just a stranger?"
your chest rises and falls rapidly, your breaths uneven. "then why do you do it?"
silence.
his mouth opens, then closes.
and that's all the answer you need.
your vision blurs, your throat tightening as you pull your sweats up the rest of the way.
"look, please, just... don't do this." jungkook pleads, stepping even closer. "please, i'll be better. i fucking love you y/n."
but you shake your head, stepping back, keeping the distance between you.
and that's what makes something shift in him.
his desperation turns to frustration, his hands clenching at his sides as he follows you out to the hallway. "so that's it?" he exhales sharply, voice laced with barely contained anger. "you're just gonna walk away?"
you blink rapidly, your hands trembling. "what the fuck else am i supposed to do?"
jungkook's eyes flash. "stay."
it's a single word, but it cracks something inside of you.
because it's not enough.
because it's always you who stays. always you who sacrifices, who waits, who breaks.
"i can't." you whisper. "i can't do this anymore."
his expression falters, pain flickering in his gaze.
but you can't let yourself fall apart now.
so you turn away, reaching for your shoes that rested at the front door with trembling hands.
and this time, jungkook doesn't try to stop you.
your fingers tremble as you grab your shoes, your heartbeat roaring in your ears. you can feel him watching you, his presence thick in the air between you.
but he doesn't move. doesn't speak.
and for a second, you think he's going to let you go.
you swallow the lump in your throat, blinking hard against the sting behind your eyes. this is what you wanted, isn't it? to walk away, to finally put yourself first? so why does it feel like your entire chest is caving in?
your hand grips the doorknob, and you pause for a moment to hold back your tears.
"don't go."
his voice cracks, low and broken, the sound of it like a knife twisting in your chest. he's crying. you freeze, your heart racing, your body trembling. you can't tell if it's his voice that has you paralyzed or the desperation in his eyes.
"y/n, please."
his words break apart as they leave his lips, like they're being torn from deep inside him. the anguish in his voice cuts through you, and you feel something inside you shatter, something fragile that you didn't even know was there.
you squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to hold it together, but it's useless. tears spring to your eyes, and they fall before you can stop them. "jungkook..."
"i can't lose you." he chokes out, and you can hear the pain in every syllable.
your breath catches in your throat. you feel as though the air has been stolen from your lungs, and for a moment, everything stands still. everything except the sound of his crying, the raw, unfiltered emotion that's breaking both of you.
and then, before you can even react, he's there.
his hands are on your arms, gripping you like he's afraid you'll slip through his fingers. jungkook turns you around, forcing you to face him. his eyes are red and swollen, tears streaming down his face, and you can't breathe. you don't know how to breathe when the sight of him like this tears you apart.
his touch is desperate, frantic, like he's trying to hold on to you with every ounce of his being. "please, y/n." jungkook whispers, his voice trembling. "please... don't leave me. don't fucking leave me like this."
your chest is tight, your heart breaking in a way you never thought possible. tears blur your vision, but you're angry, too, the weight of everything you've kept inside finally coming to the surface. "why should i?" you croak, your voice thick with emotion. "why should i stay when you keep making me feel like i don't matter?"
you're shaking now, your hands balled into fists at your sides, your entire body trembling with the storm inside you. the anger and pain rise up, mixing with the ache in your chest, but it's his words that cut deeper.
"because i love you." jungkook says, the confession leaving him raw, fragile. it feels like he's breaking as he says it, his voice hoarse, soaked in emotion. "i don't know how to do this without you. the thought of you walking out that door..." he swallows hard, his voice faltering. "it fucking kills me. i can't... i can't lose you."
you tremble, tears blurring your vision even more, your breath hitching with the weight of it all. you want to be angry. you want to push him away and demand that he finally be the person you need, but the depth of his pain is suffocating. it's too much.
"then why do you make me feel like i'm nothing?" you whisper through broken sobs, your words barely audible. "i don't deserve it, i fucking love you."
jungkook's face crumples at your words, his eyes brimming with fresh tears, and something shifts between you. his hands reach out again, more tender this time, more fragile, like he's afraid that if he moves too quickly, you'll disappear. he steps closer, his forehead resting gently against yours, his breath ragged.
"you are everything to me," jungkook says, his voice barely a whisper. "everything."
and then, the anger, the pain, the frustration, all of it melts away in an instant. the kiss happens so suddenly, so urgently, it feels like it's the only thing keeping you both from falling apart completely. his lips crash against yours, hot and desperate, like he's trying to pour every single piece of him into you. his hands are shaking as they cup your face, pulling you closer, and you kiss him back with everything you have, all the hurt, all the longing spilling into the kiss.
you both cry, tears mingling on your cheeks as your lips move against each other. the kiss is messy, but it's real - raw, desperate. every sob, every broken sound, fills the air between you, and somehow, it feels like this is the only thing that matters.
his hands move to your waist, gripping you so tightly that you almost wince as he gently pushes you against the wall, but you don't pull away. you can't. not when he's holding you like this, like he's afraid you'll disappear. not when you feel the exact same way.
his lips trail from yours, down your jaw, to your neck, kissing you like he's trying to apologize for every mistake, for every moment of silence between you. "i'm sorry..." jungkook murmurs between kisses, voice hoarse, strained with emotion. "i'm so fucking sorry, y/n."
you close your eyes, tears still falling, and swallow hard, the weight of his apology settling in your chest. you don't know if sorry is enough. you don't know if anything will be. but right now, you don't want to think. you don't want to question it.
so, instead, you pull him back to you, kissing him again, desperate, almost frantic. because deep down, in the silence of your heart, you're terrified that one day, it will be too late.
and in this moment, this breathless, painful moment, all you want is him.
the kiss becomes a battle of desperation, a collision of raw, pent-up feelings that neither of you can hold back any longer. his hands grip you like he's afraid you'll vanish, each touch sharp, urgent - like he needs you to know how much he's drowning in this.
you're both breathing heavily, lips swollen from the intensity, as if this moment is the only thing that matters. his fingers tangle in your hair, pulling you closer, deeper, until you're pressed against him, your heart racing in time with his.
"y/n," he breathes against your lips, voice thick, trembling. "please... don't leave me." there's something broken in the way he says it, a vulnerability that cuts through your anger and leaves you raw and exposed.
the flood of emotions rises in you, and for a moment, you want to say something, anything, to push him away, to walk out that door. but his touch is so insistent, so full of need. your own fingers curl into his skin, clutching him as if you need him just as much.
his mouth moves down your neck, the press of his lips searing against your skin. every kiss feels like a plea, every touch like an apology you're too afraid to say aloud. you can feel the heat of him, his chest rising and falling against yours in quick, desperate breaths. his hands move lower, slipping under your shirt, fingers brushing the sensitive skin of your waist.
you gasp at the touch, a shiver racing down your spine. but you don't pull away. you can't. the ache between you both is too overwhelming, too consuming.
"gguk..." you whisper, your voice needy.
jungkook's grip tightens, pulling you toward him until your body is flush with his. he groans, deep and raw, as if he's been holding onto this moment for far too long.
"you're everything to me." he whispers against your lips, his breath warm and desperate. "i don't know how to fix this. i don't know how to make you stay, but i need you. i love you too fucking much to see you walk away."
you're not sure where the anger goes, or if it even matters anymore. all you can focus on is the way he's touching you, kissing you, as if it's the only way to prove he hasn't given up. your hands move to his chest, slipping beneath his shirt, your fingertips tracing the muscles beneath his skin, feeling him shiver under your touch.
there's no more talking. no more arguing. just the need to be close, to feel each other, to erase the space between you that's grown too wide.
you feel his breath against your skin, quick and shallow, as his lips trail down your neck, each kiss leaving a burning mark where his mouth touches. you can't stop the shudder that runs through you, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders as if he's the only thing keeping you grounded. it's almost like a dream, the way he's touching you, too intense, too urgent, but you don't want him to stop. you're afraid of how badly you need this.
his hands slide down your back, pulling you closer, and the space between you is gone, your bodies pressed together like a puzzle piece that can't fit anywhere else. his fingertips slide under the waistband of your pants, grazing your skin, and you can't stop yourself from letting out a soft, desperate sigh.
"y/n..." his voice is thick with emotion, ragged and almost pleading as his hands shake against your body. "please don't pull away from me."
you tilt your head back, letting him kiss down the line of your jaw, and it feels like a surrender, like you've given in to something you can't fight anymore. your breath catches as his lips press harder against your skin, the desperation in each movement, each kiss. it's impossible to ignore. his hands are everywhere, desperate to pull you closer, as though he's trying to meld into you.
you drag your hands down his chest, your fingertips grazing the hard lines of his body, pulling his shirt off in one swift motion. his eyes flicker with something fierce, something raw as he stares down at you. he's waiting. waiting for you to make the next move, but you can feel the urgency in him, the way he's trembling as if he's on the edge of something that might break him.
you kiss him again, hard and fast. it's no longer just a kiss, but something deeper, something desperate. his hands are everywhere, pulling at your clothes, fumbling to get you closer. you let him, because it feels like you're both drowning in this, caught in the same tide of need, of raw emotion that doesn't have a name but pulls you under just the same.
he groans, his lips trailing down your neck again, and you can feel how much he's holding back, how much he's trying to keep himself in check. but you don't want him to hold back. not now. not when everything inside you is screaming for him.
"i need you, y/n..." he whispers, voice hoarse, pleading as he connects with your lips again. "please."
your body trembles at the way he says it, at the vulnerability in his tone. and for a moment, all you can do is nod, breathless, too lost in him to say anything else. there's no more space, no more words. it's just the heat of his body against yours, the frantic energy that rushes through you both as if this is the only thing that matters.
jungkook's hands slide down your body, tugging your sweatpants down in a swift motion. he breaks away from your lips, gently planting more kisses along your jawline before peeling off your hoodie and his shirt that you were wearing underneath. he stands back a little to admire your bare chest, noticing how beautiful you look, how the moonlight that crept in from the window bounces off of your boobs, casting a blueish hue on your skin that drew him in like a magnet.
"you're so fucking beautiful..." he mutters with a smile, pressing his forehead against yours and kissing the tip of your nose as his hands slide up and down your sides. "my beautiful girl."
jungkook places a gentle kiss on your forehead, before trailing sloppy kisses down your neck, onto your collarbones, and down your torso. your hands reach down to him, your fingers getting caught between his sweat coated locks.
his kisses become delicate when he reaches the bottom of your stomach, just above the waistband of your panties. he pulls your sweats down the rest of the way, giving you a moment to step out of them, before hooking his fingers around the hem of your panties, pulling them down slowly as his kisses fall closer and closer to your heat.
you let out a sharp breath as his nose brushes past your clit, his heavy breath against your heat sending shockwaves up your spine. he begins lapping at the juices he caused to flow from you, moaning as he does so. you are that addicting to him.
your pussy pulsates against his tongue as jungkook hungrily starts eating you out.
"my girl." he mutters against your folds. "you taste so good."
your grip on his hair tightens as he flicks at your clit with his tongue, and jungkook immediately grabs the back of your thigh, placing it over his muscular shoulder to get a better angle. his hand travels up along the back of your thigh to find your asscheek, his fingers gripping your thick flesh tightly and pulling you in closer to his face.
you try with everything in your power to fight the urge to grind against his mouth, not wanting him to win, but you can't resist. he's taking his time with you, showing you how much he loves you and needs you, using his pretty mouth to convey everything he can't say. his tongue grazes your entrance, and you let out a helpless yelp at the sensation as he begins dipping his tongue in and out of you.
"gguk..." you moan, practically pulling his hair out. "fuck baby, just like that..."
as jungkook hungrily laps at your clit, his hand slowly drops from your ass as he slips a finger inside you, causing a loud moan to fall from your lips at the feeling. the thrust of his finger matches the tempo of him sucking on your clit, and you nearly fall apart on him there and then, your slick walls tightening against his long tattooed finger.
you don't want this, not like this anyway. you don't want him to just kiss you and eat you out and pretend that none of it ever happened, to let the heat of the moment erase the hurt that still lingered between you. from an outsider's perspective, that might be exactly how it seemed - just another argument followed by an impulsive, reckless attempt to patch things up.
but it wasn't.
this wasn't the same jungkook who had spent two years keeping you at arm's length, hiding you in the shadows of his life. this wasn't the jungkook who held back, who let fear and hesitation dictate his every move. this was different.
because right now, every touch, every kiss, every shaky breath and moan against your skin felt raw, unguarded - like he was laying himself bare in a way he never had before. there was no restraint, no carefully measured distance. only him, pulling you close like he was afraid you'd slip away, pouring everything he had into the way his hands traced your skin, the way his lips molded against yours, they
there was love in every movement, a depth of emotion you had never truly felt from him before. passion, yes, but something else, too - something desperate and aching, something that made your chest tighten.
and for the first time, you weren't left wondering if he meant it.
just as he was about to slip a second finger in, you tug at his hair again to get his attention. "gguk... gguk..."
he kisses against your clit and looks up at you doe eyed. "yes baby?"
you nearly melt looking in those fucking eyes.
his gaze is so impossibly large and dark that it nearly swallowed you whole. it wasn't fair, how effortlessly he could undo you, how just one look could strip you of every last bit of anger, leaving you defenseless against the love that radiated from him like gravity, pulling you in.
"want you..."
without another word, he draws his attention back down to your pussy, slipping his fingers out of you and giving your folds one last swipe with his tongue. he lovingly plants kisses from your clit all down your thigh, before gently lifting it off of him and towering back above you. his thumb traces the curve of your jaw, slow and deliberate, before sliding to the nape of your neck. with a gentle but insistent pull, he brings you in again, his touch firm yet gentle.
"i fucking love you..." he mutters, his voice thick with emotion, barely more than a breath. the moonlight casts a silver glow over his face, catching the unshed tears in his wide, dark eyes. his brows knitted together, his gaze scanning every inch of you like he was afraid this was just a dream, like he was still trying to convince himself that you were really here. the thought of you walking out tonight - of losing you - makes his throat tighten, his chest ache. he sniffs sharply, trying to hold it together, but his lips trembles as he mouths, "more than anything."
your breath catches in your throat. the way he looks at you, the way his entire body trembles with the weight of his emotions… it shatters you. because this wasn't just desperation. this wasn't just fear. this was love, raw and overwhelming, spilling from him in ways he had never allowed before.
your hands find his face, cupping his cheeks with a tenderness that made him close his eyes for a brief moment, like he was leaning into your touch for strength. a single tear escapes him, trailing down his cheek, and you catch it with your thumb, brushing it away as gently as you could.
"i love you too," you whisper, voice trembling. a smile ghosts your lips, but its weak, fragile, weighed down by the emotion coursing through you. your own tears fall freely, hot and relentless, cascading down your cheeks like a flood you couldn't stop. "more than anything."
his breath hitches. his hands, still gripping your waist, tightenes as if he was grounding himself in you, terrified that you'd slip away. "promise..." his voice cracks, and he swallows hard, blinking rapidly to clear his blurred vision. "promise you won't leave."
you inhale shakily, your thumb sweeping along his damp lashes, wiping away the remnants of his heartbreak.
you meet his gaze, steady despite the storm inside you.
"show me how much you want me to stay."
without hesitation, jungkook scoops you into his arms, one strong arm beneath your knees, the other wrapped securely around your back. his grip is firm, effortless, like holding you was second nature - like you belonged there.
the world blurs around you as he carries you through the dimly lit hallway, each step slow and deliberate, his chest rising and falling steadily beneath your cheek. the night, the fight, the tears - it all fades into the background, swallowed by the quiet sound of his breathing and the warmth radiating from his body.
as he crosses the threshold into the bedroom, his hold on you tightens for just a second, like he needs to convince himself that you were real, that you were still here.
as jungkook lowers you onto the bed, his hands linger, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist like he's hesitant to let you go. your back meets the mattress, but before you can even catch your breath, he's hovering above you, his face so close that you can feel the warmth of his breath on your skin.
his eyes scan your face - your lips slightly parted, your cheeks wet with tears - and it's like he's memorizing every detail, like he needs to etch you into his mind. and then, without a word, he kisses you.
it's different this time. softer. slower. but no less desperate. his lips mold against yours with an aching tenderness, as if he's afraid you'll slip through his fingers. his breath mingles with yours, warm and shaky, and his hands cradle you like you're something fragile. the weight of everything that's happened seems to melt into the way he holds you, the way he kisses you like it's the only way he knows how to speak now. an apology. a promise. a plea.
"baby..." you whisper against his lips. "need you now."
"you've got me." jungkook smiles, pecking your lips again. "you've got me forever."
his hand caresses your boob again as he kisses you while your fingers travel down his toned torso. you begin palming him through his briefs, and he moans in your mouth at the sudden contact. "you're so hard." you giggle, massaging his bulge as your other hand gets lost in his hair.
"only for you." he replies, his hand reaching up to cradle your face, his thumb moving over and back against your flushed cheek. "my pretty girl."
you smile at him, and he helps you to tug his briefs down. you almost gasp when you see his cock spring up and slap against his abs. it looks bigger and needier than ever, and you can feel your pussy pulsating at the sight of it. jungkook kisses your jaw before reaching over to the bedside table, and you know exactly what he's doing.
"no," you blurt out, stopping him. "i... i want you raw."
jungkook's eyes grow wide. "are you sure?"
you nod. you need it. you need to feel him. it's like some sick contract or declaration, you need to feel him to know he loves you. he's asked you so many times before, and if you were ever going to do it, tonight was the night. you reached down and wrapped your fingers around his thick shaft, and a sharp breath escaped his mouth, hitting you in the face.
"want to feel you." you groan against his lips. you can feel his curl up into a smile as he places his hand on yours, and helps you run his needy cock through your slick folds. you both groan in pleasure at feeling each other like this for the first time, and jungkook eyes pierce through yours as his tongue pokes at his lip ring.
his eyes fall to your lips, kissing them tenderly. "ready?" he asks, his breath heavy against your mouth. you nod as you let go of him, and wrap your arms around his neck. he looks down between you, letting his dick run up your wet slit one last time before slowly entering you.
you both gasp at the sensation of feeling eachother for the first time. it truly feels like the first time. this is the first time jungkook has conveyed such love to you, anyway. "holy shit..." he says, his chest rising and falling as he struggles to catch his breath. "baby... fuck, you feel so good."
he buries his head in your shoulder as your eyes stay wide, trying to steady your breathing. you hold the back of his head, and run one hand down his muscular back as you moan lovingly in his ear as he slowly pulls out, before sliding back in again.
"baby," you whine loudly, unable to keep a lid on your moans. as jungkook slowly drives deeper into you than he ever has before, you let out a sharp breath, almost screaming in pleasure. "gguk... baby..."
you can barely get your words out, and jungkook grabs your hand, placing it above your head, lacing his long tattooed fingers through yours. he lifts his head up from your shoulder and places a soft kiss on your neck. "i know baby..." he groans lowly. "fuck... i know."
he starts speeding up his thrusts, his breath growing heavier with each movement. you look up at him, and it's like the rest of the world fades away. nothing else exists - just him. the way his tongue flicks at his lip rings, glistening under the dim light. the way his brows draw together in concentration, his expression torn between pleasure and something deeper, something raw. his dark curls cling to his forehead, damp with sweat, his skin glowing with the sheer intensity of the moment. his mouth falls open with every ragged breath, every broken groan that slips past his lips, and you swear you've never seen anything more beautiful.
and for a moment, your heart clenches.
because you were about to give up on him.
the thought nearly knocks the air from your lungs. how could you have been willing to walk away from this, from him? from the man who, despite everything, still looks at you like you're his entire world?
he isn't looking at you, too caught up in the space between you both, watching where your bodies meet. his lashes flutter as his gaze drags upward, slow and heavy, drinking you in, mapping every inch of you like he's committing this moment to memory.
and then he sees you.
his eyes find yours, locking on, and for a second, neither of you move. but then, his lips twitch, curving into the kind of smile that knocks the air right out of your lungs. it's warm. real. and for a fleeting moment, it's as if time rewinds, pulling you back two years, back to the beginning - back to the moment you first fell in love with him.
and now, right here, in this moment, you realise that you're falling all over again.
not because of lust. not because of the heat in the air or the way he makes you feel. but because he wants you. because he needs you. because he loves you. and right now, he's showing you in every possible way.
"i fucking love you."
his voice is raw, stripped of anything playful or teasing. there's no smirk, no hesitation, just a declaration, a truth laid bare between you. his eyes are dark and glassy, filled with something desperate, something real, and it makes your chest tighten, your breath hitch in your throat.
your fingers slip from his, trembling slightly as you reach up, cupping his face in your hands. his skin is warm beneath your touch, and when you brush his damp hair from his eyes, he leans into you like he needs it, like he needs you.
your breath is sharp, uneven, as tears well up again, burning at the edges of your vision. "i know..." you whisper, voice barely holding steady as he rocks in and out of you. your thumb traces over the curve of his cheekbone, grounding yourself in him, in this moment.
"i love you so much..."
and you do. god, you do. with every aching, fragile, broken piece of you.
he kisses your shoulder sloppily as he picks up the pace. "shit..." you whine, your eyes fluttering shut as you throw your head back on his pillow. "faster gguk..."
he obeys your order and speeds up his thrusts, growling lowly as he does so. his lips find your neck again, leaving gentle kisses as his hand reaches down between your legs to rub slow circles on your swollen clit, making you yelp in pleasure. "fuck!" you breathe out sharply. "baby... you're making me feel so... so fucking good..."
jungkook's lips make their way up to your earlobe. "my girl..." he groans, a moan quickly falling from his lips as your pussy clenches around him. "fuck... baby, do that again... driving me fucking crazy..."
but you can't even help it. his fingers speed up on your clit, and his dick hits your spot over and over at the perfect pace, and you know you're not going to last much longer. "i'm so close..." you moan, a tear falling from your lashes out of pure pleasure. "gonna... gonna cum..."
"i know baby." jungkook moans in your ear, nibbling at your lobe. he throws his head back, and shifts his position, hoisting himself up on his hands and steadying himself above you. his head falls back down to look at where you both connect, the sight of your pussy swallowing his raw cock alone driving him crazy. "gonna cum too."
"want you... want you to cum in me baby..."
jungkook's eyes shoot up to meet yours. his breathing grows more rapid at the thought of it. "yeah?" he groans, speeding up his thrusts to an animalistic pace. "you gonna let me cum in your pussy baby? you gonna stay with me forever?"
you can barely breathe, but you managed to swallow hard and pull yourself together. "never gonna leave..." you promise, a moan escaping from the depths of your throat. "never gonna leave you baby, love... love you too fucking much."
jungkook's head falls again as he buries his head next to yours. "fucking love you." he groans, his hot breath hitting your neck. "gonna cum... cum in your pretty pussy... my pretty's girls pussy..."
your hands claw at his back as you feel yourself reach your high. you genuinely feel as though you are about to pass out from all of the pleasure he's sending through your body with each deep thrust. it's overwhelming, and tears spill from your eyes, and this time you don't try to hide them.
you hear jungkook whine every time your pussy clenches around him. "cumming..." you cry out, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your head in his shoulder. "jungkook... i-i can't... i'm gonna cum..."
"come on baby..." he encourages as your head drops down again. he kisses your lips gently. "come on, cum with me... fuuuck..."
your orgasm hits you like a train as you feel jungkook paint your walls with his cum. you've never been this loud, but you can't help it. you're moaning into eachothers open mouths, unable to contain yourselves. jungkook slowly pulls out of you with a groan, looking down to watch his cum spill out of you.
"holy fucking shit..." he groans, staring in disbelief. his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths, his dark eyes flickering over the scene in front of him before he drags a hand through his damp hair. "i can't believe you let me do that."
a breathless, shaky laugh escapes your lips. "neither can i."
jungkook exhales, then laughs with you, the sound warm, genuine, full. he reaches for you, tilting your chin up with gentle fingers, his thumb brushing against your jaw as he leans in. "come here." his lips meet yours in a soft, lingering kiss, full of something deeper than just desire - something raw and unspoken. when he pulls away, his gaze holds yours, unwavering. "i love you so much, y/n."
you smile this time - really smile. because you believe it. because for the first time in a long time, you feel it. "i know." your reply softly. you press a quick kiss to his lips before whispering, "i love you too."
his grin is instant, bright despite the exhaustion in his eyes. "i better clean you up." he chuckles, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before reluctantly pulling away. he climbs off the bed, stretching slightly before disappearing into the bathroom.
you hear the sound of running water, the shuffle of cabinets opening and closing. a moment later, he returns with a towel, crouching down to clean up his cum that spilled out onto the sheets. his muscles flex as he works, his jaw tight in concentration, but there's an ease to him now, a lightness in the way he moves, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.
once he's done, he tosses the towel aside and grabs a clean pair of briefs, pulling them on before turning to you with a familiar softness in his eyes. he pulls out one of his oversized shirts from his drawers, walking back to the bed, and hands it to you with a small smirk. "here baby."
you take it from him, fingers brushing against his for a brief second before you smile, slipping the fabric over your head. the scent of his cologne clings to it, wrapping around you like a familiar embrace, like home.
before you can say anything, he's already crawling into bed, shifting the covers as he settles in. he looks at you, eyes warm, and lifts his arm in invitation. "come here."
you don't hesitate. you move toward him, sinking into the space beside him, your body molding against his as your head finds its place on his chest. his arms wrap around you instantly, holding you close, like he never wants to let go.
as the night settles around you, the world outside fades away, leaving just the two of you tangled together beneath the sheets. jungkook's arm is still draped around you, holding you close against him as your head rests on his bare chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat soothing in your ear. his fingers move gently through your hair, absentmindedly twisting the strands between his fingers, his touch light, reverent.
for a while, neither of you speak. there's no need to. the silence between you is no longer heavy with unspoken pain, no longer thick with tension. it's warm, safe, a space where you can finally breathe.
but then, his voice breaks through the quiet, soft and unsure.
"i'm sorry."
you lift your head slightly, peering up at him. his eyes are dark in the dim light, searching yours for something - for forgiveness, maybe, or for reassurance that this, you, are still his.
"for what?" you whisper, though you already know the answer.
his fingers tighten ever so slightly in your hair. "for all of it. for making you feel like you don't matter. for making you feel like i don't love you, because i do. so fucking much." his brows knit together, his lips pressing into a thin line. "i never want you to doubt that again."
your chest tightens at his words. "i don't. not anymore." your hand rests over his heart, feeling the steady thump beneath your palm. "and i'm sorry too. for almost leaving. for thinking i could walk away from this… from you."
jungkook shakes his head, his grip on you tightening. "i wouldn't have let you."
a soft laugh escapes you, but it dies quickly when you see the look in his eyes, completely serious, completely broken at the thought of losing you.
"we'll never give up on each other." he says it like a promise, like something absolute.
you nod, your fingers trailing up to cup his jaw, your thumb brushing over the curve of his cheek. "never."
his expression softens, relief washing over his features before he dips down, pressing his lips to your forehead. "i love you."
"i love you too."
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kissforyouu · 3 months ago
Text
too much ☆
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pairing : sugar daddy!jungkook x fem!reader
genre : smut , fluff
warnings : sugar daddy x sugar baby relationship , implied age gap (reader 20s, jk 30s) , size kink, BIGGGG DDDD (9 inches) , choking , groping , d riding , daddy kink , hickeys , slapping , creampie , panty sniffing , use of petnames (angel, doll, baby, sweetheart) , he talks u thru it , squirting , anal penetration , slight dacryphilia , he gets off to her orgasming , the whole point is he’s too big for her
Today was the day.
You’re so determined to do it. You can do it. Yes, you can.
You were fully prepared, laying on your sugar daddy's expensive ass master bed, wrapped in white lace like a little present for him to unwrap. You looked as if you were a sweet angel fallen into his room filled with all things black and the only thing light being the white walls. And the little parts of you you'd leave hanging around. like makeup, books, clothes, etc. etc.
Too excited, that's what you were. but also nervous, in a way, but you had one goal for tonight. And that was to fit your sugar daddy's cock inside and ride him.
There was a very evident size difference between the two of you. Him being 6ft tall already gave it away, but to add to the list you stood at 5'2ft. He was big in every possible area you could think of, even his cock was massive. fuck. His palm could easily cover your asscheek perfectly without any flesh slipping out. He was a tall successful man with broad shoulders and a muscular body. Thick thighs, big arms—everything you liked in a man.
In addition to that, he was rich. So so rich that he offered you to be his sugar baby. You both met at the mall. So excitedly you went through all the cute dresses you could wear, but definitely not afford. You were still in college. No further explanation needed.
“Ah! this, er, maybe that? don't know!” You were on facetime with your friend, reviewing all the cute dresses you would buy if you had the money. Delusional!
“Nah, nah, nah, the purple one with butterflies would look so good on you!” Your friend squeals, making you squeal back. You might be making too much noise in ths store, but you didn't care.
“You know what would look good with this dress? a cute cardigan and I’d pair this up with some gold hoops."
“Hmm, sounds really pretty”, your friend answered.
“Wish i had the money though...” there was a pout formed on your lips when you look back at the prize tag.
Somehow, your friend ended up having to leave the call due to some work. You end the call, ready to exit the store with absolutely no bags whatsoever. But someone, a man, stops you.
And then he asks you the most out of the blue question ever.
“Want me to buy you that dress?”
That was how it all started. He offered you to become his sugar baby after a full day spent at the mall of him buying you random things. At first, you said no. But he gave you time to decide and also kept sending you gifts over and over. At the end, you agreed. To be fair, you expected him to be the most obscene, rude, horrid man ever. But he's actually...pretty nice. sweet. caring.
Your relationship was 50/50. All you had to do was to take care of that man emotionally, shower him with love which you'll gladly do and also have bomb ass sex with him and he'll pay off all your bills and buy you a shit ton of things in return. The sex wasn't even a topic brought up at first, he didn't need that kind of favour. Just needed a pretty baby to spoil who'll love him in return. The sex just happened on a random friday night. Ever since, you've been getting the best dick you've ever had in your entire life. But there was one problem.
He was too big.
And you were too small.
Sure, the sex was so good and he always made sure to make you cum at least twice each time. It was so good that you couldn't even count the stars rotating around your head each time you orgasmed. But one thing that always managed to bother you...was he satisfied? Because of the obvious size difference, it was hard to fit him inside. Most of the time you’d end up stopping him because it hurt. He won't even be fully in when that happens. Although he always reassured you that he's far more than satisfied with you, you still wouldn't buy it.
But today, you’re going to do it. Gonna make all of him fit inside and give him the orgasm he deserves.
You laid on your back with your eyes fixed on the pattern of the ceiling, feet kicking in the air as you mindlessly waited for him to return home.
But a flirtatious whistle catches you off guard. you immediately rise back up from the bed, eyes darting to the man leaning against the door frame looking at you with a smug look.
“Jungkook!” you squealed.
“Was wondering where you were.” He makes his way towards you.
“I was here.” you mumble.
“I can see...” he snorts.
He lifts you up to sit on the bed by his hands on your waist, then touching your bare stomach, right above the little lace skirt you were wearing.
“For me?” there's a little smug look on his face.
“Who else would it be for?” there’s a sly smirk on your face, batting your lashes as you spoke.
"hah, you little minx" he slaps your cheek with the back of his hand, soon cupping your chin and raising your head up.
"when did you buy this?" his thumb teasingly caresses your lower lip.
"mmm, last week. bought it when i went shopping with mina..."
jungkook snickers, thumb now poking in between your lips. instinctively, you open your mouth for him to easily slide his thumb in between. you let out a muffled giggle, swirling your tongue around his thumb.
you both had wide grins on eachother's faces, fully aware of where this was heading.
you choke on his entire thumb the moment he pushes it all in, his thumb and a part of his hand, stuffing your mouth full. with a little bit of drool slipping out of your mouth, you close your eyes with a hum, but jungkook pulls his hand out.
hurriedly, with a satisfied grin, jungkook begins to unbuckle his belt. but before he could move any further, you were quick enough to stop him, bringing confusion to his face.
"huh?"
"kook, the bed. get on the bed, please." you request.
jungkook raises his eyebrow as your unusual request, but still obeying. he removes his shoes first, then gets on the bed, legs spread and leaning against the headboard as he waits for your next move. you couldn't help but let out a small giggle, excitedly making your way to sit in between his legs.
jungkook, in the other hand, admist his confusion, still couldn't hold back the little smile that threatened to come out. let's just say...this relationship was more than just being a sugar daddy and sugar baby. for him, at least. he'd like to think so.
you push some of your hair back, brushing it along the way and letting it fall down your shoulders as you made yourself comfortable between his legs. pretty, jungkook thinks.
"what're you going to do?" he asks, voice as gentle as ever.
you let out a long hum, fingers struggling to open the zipper of his trousers. he was rock hard, so it was hard to get the zip down. ugh.
jungkook chuckles at your struggles, "want me to take it off for you?"
you shake your head in denial. no. you were gonna do everything tonight with no help from him. with the help of the strong mentality you've set on getting goal done, you manage to successfully pull the zipper off.
you sigh, relieved, but jungkook just laughs at you, almost mockingly.
"what?" you ask.
"nothing, baby, 'just love watching you trying to please me. you're gonna take my cock tonight? hm?" the corner of his lip curves up.
"hmmmm, yes" you're moaning.
jungkook snorts, as if he's not believing you. but he takes off his trousers and boxers, leaving his lower body bare. you're gulping while staring at his erect cock, finally free from the restraints of his white calvein klein boxers. he's already leaking precum.
you lean forward, taking his fat cock in your hands, giving it a few pumps. smearing the precum all over the tip, you use it as lube, pumping his cock again. it barely fits in your hands. you have to use both your hands to hold it.
your ass was up, back slightly arched as you took his cock in your mouth. a muffled moan immediately escapes you, as you slowly slowly take him in deeper in your mouth inch by inch. fuck, was it hard. suddenly getting the urge to cough, you quickly pull him off of your mouth and turn your head around to cough.
"shit, you okay, doll?"
nodding your head in embarrassment, you take hold of his cock again to leave kitten licks all over it. you begin by licking the tip of his cock, swiping your tongue over the small alleyway of his cockhead several times. jungkook hisses at the feeling, eyes droopy. happily, you're licking all over his shaft as if it's your favourite ice cream.
you lick a long stripe up his shaft again, then circling your tongue on the dent in his cockhead. pulling away to spit on his cock, you rub your saliva all over the base with both your hands, then taking his cock in your mouth again.
you sink it down your throat further, slobbering all over his cock, saliva gushing out of your mouth and covering his cock full. his hand instinctively lands on the back of your head, caressing your hair and giving your scalp a subtle massage.
you were so beautiful, he thought.
slowly, you move your head up and down his length, sucking his cock in your mouth. his cock repeatedly hits the back of your throat, causing him to let out a few grunts from here and there. he was surprisingly very vocal during sex. and that just got you even wetter.
"mhm, that's right. taking my cock well, huh? taught you good?" his free hand taps your cheek, feeling his cock against your cheek. your cheeks were hollow, your face felt hot. it was obviously heating up, and so was your pussy. jungkook's hand leaves the back of your head to touch your other cheek, both hands holding up your face now as you took him in your mouth. he grunts, releasing another breath.
you slurp up your saliva on his cock only to spit it back, swiping your tongue on his base. you bob your head on his cock, enjoying all of his moans to the fullest. his thumbs swipe over your cheeks repeatedly, wiping away the small tears that are falling down.
"bet you're soaking right now, hm? fhuck—i can imagine how pretty your panties look right now. drenched and sticking to your pussy? isn't that right, angel?"
you hurry to nod your head, still sucking him in your mouth. fuck, you were so cockdrunk. jungkook knew exactly how to get you riled up. the small touches and caresses, holding your face and hair, he knew you liked that. of course he did. he knew your body like the back of his hand.
"yeah?" he acknowledges your nodding, petting your head. you try to best to flash him a smile, moaning in between. "that's right." his palm lays flat on top of your head again as he pushes your head back down on his cock, his cockhead hitting the back of your throat again.
you're pretty sure it's gonna bruise there.
up! down! up! down! you go, warming his cock up by the insides of your mouth. your right hand is wrapped around the rest of his cock that you can't fit while the other squeezed his balls.
the harder jungkook pushed the more you gagged on his cock. it felt suffocating, but you knew jungkook would never do anything to hurt you. you're whining, clawing his thighs. your eyes rolled to the back of your head followed by a series of cusses coming from jungkook's mouth.
"ohhh, oh, hah, fuck, fuck." his head is thrown back against the headboard of the bed. he lets out a whiny little moan, spilling his load into your mouth. jungkook wipes away your tears once you slip his cock out of your mouth with a pop, reassuring you on how well you did.
"you did so well, angel. took my cock so good." he pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail to raise your head back up. you looked so fucked out just from his dick in your mouth. it was definitely a huge ego boost for him. as much as he loved seeing you pretty and dolled up for him, this look on you has got to be one of his favourites. naked, sweaty and fucked out from his dick. you were so pretty.
"hmm...", he groans, hand sliding up from your left breast to the back of your neck, pulling you on top of him so that you'd be sitting on his lap. "liked having a mouth full of cock?" he grins mockingly, left arm folded on his back as he rests back on it. you nod your head, eyes still closed. the man chuckles, wiping away the drool on your face and chest. he makes sure to wipe his hand on your asscheek also, then slapping it afterwards.
"good now?" he checks up on you.
"yes. all good." you flash him a toothy smile with a thumbs up. jungkook smiles, tongue poking his cheek. "c'mere." he pulls you closer by your waist and securely wraps his right arm around you. your cheek was resting against his peck while he caressed your hair, giving your scalp a few massages here and there.
jungkook trails kisses from the back of your ear down to your neck, darting his tongue out to lick some areas known to make you moan. "let me take care of you, doll."
your sugar daddy gently lays down your body on the bed, hovering over you quickly. he takes a moment to stare down at you, a stupid little smile brightening up his face. you raise your eyebrow, quick to pick up on that. "what? why're you smiling like that?" you ask.
"why not?" jungkook snickers, he pinches the tip of your cheek, thumb gently caressing it afterwards. you feel your cheeks heat up. leaning into his touch, you smile a little.
jungkook lifts you hips up, angling his cock with your entrance and you almost— almost forget your plan. immediately, you halt and place your hand on his chest with a shake of your head.
"why? something wrong?"
you nod your head, gently pushing the man back.
"what're you doing?" you shush him up with your index finger pressed against his lips and shaking your head. jungkook raises his eyebrow.
"i wanna ride you."
jungkook just stares at you as if you've just told him the craziest thing ever, eyes wide as well. stop. this is making you feel embarrassed. what if he just laughs at you?
"what, you're gonna ride me now?" jungkook couldn't help but laugh a little, but immediately shutting himself up when he sees the frown on your face. "okay, sorry, sorry."
"yeah, i am." your voice came out almost inaudible. you felt so small in his large presence. with his big eyes boring into yours, you feel put on the spot. like. like everyone's looking at you holding a mic to your mouth expecting you to talk.
the corner of his lip slightly twitches up, then he breaks into a smile. big hands land on your hips and effortlessly drags you closer to him, he then lifts your chin up, thumb swiping over your lower lip. "sure you won't hurt yourself?"
"yes, daddy. not gonna hurt." jungkook chuckles at the nickname, finding it amusing. you both never really used the name daddy, just once or twice. although, you can't deny how the nickname gets you feeling sort of...thrilled? aroused? jungkook could say the same.
"daddy, huh?" he clicks his tongue.
you nod your head with a small hum, raising your body up to sit on your knees. "lie down, please."
jungkook listens to your request with a teasing smirk on his face. hah, you wanted to fuck that smirk off of him soooooo bad. he lies down on the bed with two pillows supporting his back and makes himself comfortable. he raises his eyebrow watching your puzzled expression, trying really hard to read your face. his legs are spread, fat cock rock hard and leaking that precum you love so much. you gulp down the drool that was already pooled up in your mouth, eyes darting between jungkook's eyes and his cock.
"what're you waiting for? come fuck me, girl."
and you do.
gliding yourself over his muscular thighs, you settle yourself on top of him, your thighs on each side of his waist. you avert your gaze down to his massive cock, twitching with pre cum leaking from the tip, impatiently waiting for you. you take a long deep breath before raising your body over his thighs, then angling your pelvis over his cock. wrapping your hand around his base, you teasingly rub the tip on your folds. jungkook tugs on his lower lip as your pussy twitches against his tip, both your juices slightly mixed with eachother. you raise your hips up again and this time, a string of wetness appears connecting your hole and his reddened tip.
"fucking nasty. you're soaking." jungkook couldn't help but reach out to touch your pussy one more time. you groan once his thumb harshly rubs on your clit while his fingers sunk into your pussy for a moment. he pulls them out before you could even enjoy the feeling, ending it with a slap on your clit. "go on. get on this dick."
jungkook was such a slut.
the moment you finally sink yourself in, or try to, both of you let out a soft gasp, taking in how genuinely tight it felt.
"god, kook...mh", your chest heaved up and down as you balanced yourself, still not fully sunk in his dick yet. you move your hand down there to spread your pussy lips a little further apart, then pushing yourself down a little further.
jungkook stayed silent watching you struggle for a few seconds before deciding to step in. "you okay? want help?" his fingers caressed from your waist to hips, trying to soothe you. you whine, frustrated, ugh—
"i can't. can't do this—mh, too big!"
you give up.
jungkook clicks his tongue, clearly disappointed. he shakes his head, disapproving your decision. "come on, baby. 'know you can do this. you're a hardworking girl. it's okay."
"no, no, no, ahh, can't." you shake your head in denial.
"tsk. no. you're gonna do this. slap my thigh if it's too much, m?" a tear escapes your eye as you finally agree to proceeding to pursue your initial goal. jungkook decides to lend a helping hand by rubbing your clit in various patterns slowly to get you wetter and make it easier for you. "better not cum."
"hmm...", you moan out.
with your throbbing clit being rolled in between the tip of the big man's fingers, you sink your hips down his much bigger dick, eyes widening at the newfound sensation.
"SHIT— oh, mm!" his tip hit your g spot, causing your entire body to tremble a little. the action makes jungkook laugh cockily, his lips forming into a mocking pout.
"gonna cum already? my dick only had to get in? you're that needy?" he slaps your cheeks lightly. you give him nothing but a small enticing glare. jungkook groans and taps your hips as a signal for you to get moving.
your knees buried deep into the bed sheets, you steady yourself before guiding your hips up and down slowly. honestly, it hurt. your walls were so mushy and tight, firmly gripping the base of his cock.
"ah, loosen up, angel. if not, you'll make me cum just from that tightness—shiii."
you try to loosen up your pussy hole, relaxing your entire body but ugh, you just can't do it. with a whine, you continue thrusting yourself downwards on his cock. jungkook adjust himself to you fully— your pussy felt soooo full. so fucking stuffed. his tip reached your womb. you didn't even know having him this deep could be possible. it hurt so bad, yet it felt so good. jungkook's hand reaches behind your back to grab the flesh of your ass and mold it into his liking, slapping and pulling on the flesh.
by now you've learnt how to sit on his dick fully inside. and now, you're doing to fuck it.
"h-haaa—" a breathy moan surpasses through as you begin riding his dick, your walls tightly squeezing in his fat base. your moves were slow and careful, careful trying not to hurt yourself too much. it already hurt so bad, no—burnt. your pussy felt as if it was burning, overwhelmed by the size of his dick. you squeeze your eyes shut, suddenly remembering why you've never tried fully taking him in. cause your cunt was too small! and fuck! does it hurt!
still, you try, brushing away the second thoughts. the skin slapping noises grew louder each thrust as you let his cock hit deeper and deeper areas. jungkook was in pure ecstasy. the most attractive woman he's ever seen (he would never never reveal that to you) is riding his dick. he loved every second of it.
his hands cup your tits through the sheer fabric of your skimpy lingerie, thumbing your nipples hard. he could feel your nipples grow harder, he just could. which drove him crazy. jungkook's thumbs swipe on your nipples, swirling the bud around too. the bridge of his nose brush against your collarbone as he leans his face closer to your neck, whispering sweet nothings.
"i fucking love watching you struggle like this." you grip onto his wrist tightly, twisting it around with your nails digging deep into his skin and probably creating scars. thankfully for your wet slick, it progressively got easier for you to slide up and down.
"take this off. mm, now." his fingers toyed with the straps of your skimpy ass top, tugging on the fragile material and pulling on it. you groan, hurriedly taking off the annoying ass top and throwing it away to let it land on wherever.
you breasts were fully bare for him, big and juicy, nipples hard as fuck. you were such an eye candy. he loved—liked everything about you. so fucking hot. he could go insane.
your jaw falls open, shoulder pushed back and chest popped out as you rode his dick. such a pornographc sight. your tits bounced along with each of your jumps. puffy clit rubbing against his pelvis with each thrust of your hips, his dark pubic brushing against your clit, creating some sort of friction as well. fuuuck.
jungkook caresses your hips, fingertips also dancing across your asscheeks, bringing you a relaxing feeling amidst the heavy workout you're putting yourself through. you slam yourself onto his dick, pussy quite literally splitting into two. you've never fucked someone this hard. this is so crazy, you're actually taking him— you gasp, letting yourself feel out his dick fully.
fuckfuckfuck you could feel his dick tightly smuggled inside your chubby cunt, feeling out the tight clasp of your walls as you literally squeezed him shut. shit, you're scared he wouldn't be able to pull out even. you're squeezing him that tightly. you hold onto his broad shoulders, long manicured nails digging into the skin, probably—most probably leaving marks. you inhale in the musky scent he always has once he gets back from work. you loooveeee it.
"please, i—literally—like, fawwkkkk jungkook!" jungkook hisses, hands messily searching for the discarded dirty panties on the side of the bed. he finally finds them and brings them upto his nose to take a long sniff out of it. a looongg nasty sniff. "you're so dirty, daddy."
his eyes drift from the dirty material to yours in a second. he quickly dropped it off and snakes his arms from under your thighs to hoist you up the bed. you squeel in surprise, arms immediately wrapping around his neck for stability. jungkook looks at you from below, big doe eyes glistening at you as you stared back. you giggle a little once you feel his hand slap your asscheek and grab it again.
jungkook leans forward to envelope your lips in a sweet kiss. you sigh in content, kissing him back passionately as your tongues swirled on eachother. you both were eating out eachothers face so good. moving your heads rhythmically in sync while your nails scratched his back real good. you exchanged saliva, head tilting to various sides as you shared a sloppy messy kiss. so fucking hot.
"mmh, put it in...", you try to reach behind your back and grab his dick but jungkook beats you to it, swatting your hand away. he grips his cock, squeezing the red tip with a hiss. "inside me, daddy." his mind feels fuzzy as he slides his dick inside you again. this time, it enters pretty easy, much easier than before. well, since you're well lubricated and all. you both moan in sync, shoulders dramatically falling down as he fills you up again. you hug his muscular body, gliding up and down his dick once again. second time feels much better than last. shiiiit.
"you're so big. i—" you sigh deeply, whole cunt swallowing his fat dick. "hm, it slips in so easily now." you grunt into his neck, trying to adjust yourself. "yeah, cause you're slippery as shit."
"c'mon, sweetheart." he pats your back as you start over, again. you begin riding his dick once more, this time gripping onto the head of the bed and his head. "you know you're doing so good, yeah? never been more proud of you." you could feel the bone of his nose poke your neck as he inhales your sweaty scent in. jungkook presses tiny kisses all over your neck, down to your collarbone. little kisses all over your collarbone. little hickeys forming all over your collarbone ૮꒰ ⊃ ⸝⸝ ⊂ ꒱ྀིა
yeah you know what, maybe you overestimated yourself. fuck does this hurt. did your pussy get smaller or what. you were squeezing him so tight. so fucking tight.
"koo— haaarrd... 'm struggling." you grunt into his neck.
"lemme take over, then."
"wha—no. i'm fucking you." you refuse his offer quite literally right away.
"you're barely holding on. can't even keep my dick inside without moving around. hm?" he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, squeezing your cheeks together mockingly. he treated you as if you were a feeble little being who couldn't even complete the simplest task.
nothing simple about this dick.
he made sure his dick was perfectly tucked inside, ready to absolutely break you apart on it.
your pussy suddenly starts pulsating, clenching around his dick repeatedly. jungkook lets out a gruff moan, palm slapping against your waist.
"stop fucking clenching. you gonna cum, yeah? is that what this is?"
"mmmhm, i don't want to cum." you break into a whine into his shoulder. "'s okay, just let it out on me, yeah?" he sneaks his arm in between you guys and sticks his thumb out on your very swollen clit. you flinch once he starts rubbing your clit, and in no time, you cream his dick.
"fuck, no, i—i don't want to cum yet." you punch his arm and bite his shoulder, agitated that he just had to make you cum. "i wanted to make you cum first. fuck you." "too bad. i barely even moved."
"are you making fun of me?"
"maybe."
you tug on his hair and bite his arm as revenge.
"i haven't cum yet. did you forget?" he pulls on your hair.
"you know that i wanted to ride you." you huff,
"and you did."
"barely." you roll your eyes, snuggling closer into him, face nuzzled into his neck.
"yeah, my bad my dick's too big."
"you're so over the head."
"okay, but we both know i'm right."
"my vagina is burning."
jungkook pinches the top of your ass and flips you over so that you'd be laying on your back. the sudden movement catches you off guard as you yelp in surprise.
"ow! that hurt."
jungkook doesn't respond to you, but slowly, carefully, pulls his dick out of you. he's still rock hard. you're not surprised.
"you said you wanted to make me feel good, yeah?" he caresses the side of your face, moving away each and every hair sticking to your face. gentle kisses all over your face, cheek, nose, eyes—he suddenly stops, the eye contact between you two breaking the moment he looks away. your breath hitch, there's a tingling feeling all over your body, it felt like the tip of a feather gracing over your face.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Mhm.”
Jungkook squeezes the fat of your belly with a soft kiss on top and suddenly—he was so sly with it too—enters his dick inside your cunt again. “AH!”, you yelp out due to the sudden waves of pain and pleasure sent right from your swollen fucking pussy.
“Come on, girl, take it. I know you can—haah.”
He plunges his dick deep in you with a hard thrust and immediately going at it. He didn’t stop. No he did not. Jungkook rutted into your wet cunt like an animal in heat, desperate to hear the high pitch moans coming out of your swollen lips.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, back arched and gasps left your lips repeatedly. It hurt so bad. Your pussy was fucking burning. It hurt so bad that it felt so good. He’s never done this before. He’s never probably been inside you fully. You swore to the heavens above that your cunt was already torn apart. There was no way.
“Jungkook—mmhphhhhhhhhhttttt!!! It hurts so much! Stop, ah, fuck!”
You raise your legs up, slinking them around his toned sweaty fucking torso. Jungkook grabbed a handful of your meaty thighs, using the fat for support to cling onto you more.
“Please! Stopstopstopstop it hurts so much!”
You didn’t actually want him to stop. You would’ve used to the safe word if so, you and him both knew that very well.
Jungkook grunts in annoyance with a slap on your ass to shut you up.
“Shut up and take my fucking dick. You wanted this. Finish what you’ve started. Take my fucking dick like you said you would!”
He was so big.
“You’re a big girl made for taking big fucking cocks like mine, yeah?”
Without a warning, his palms slap against both your asscheeks before hoisting your entire body up into his arms. Jungkook had you on top of his thighs, carrying your entire weight on his arms as he thrusted from below. His thrusts were so harsh and aggressive with the intention of only wrecking your pussy apart. You were bounced on his cock like a ragdoll. He used you for his pleasure, letting his cock mold the insides of your pussy to the perfect shape that'll fit him always.
"I'm not letting this pussy go now. Hah", he rocks your body upwards again, letting you fall onto his. you cling onto his body for dear life, arms wrapped around his neck, breasts bouncing in front of his face. you could feel his balls slap against your ass repeatedly. they were wet, slimey and sticky. he spread the stickyness on his balls everywhere, constantly reminding you of the fact that he was deep inside you now. like, finally.
"da-ddy! i can't believe you're fucking me like t-this."
you close your eyes tight, your nails gripping onto jungkook's scalp as you let out a scream.
"please, oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD! i'm g'na- HAAH!"
jungkook recognizes the familiar high pitched sound you make, hand sneakily rubbing your puffy clit again. and as a cherry on top, he spreads your ass cheeks apart and sneaks his thumb in between to penetrate your neglected tight little hole. he rubs your hole and inserts the tip of his finger in, repeating the process after. You were so tight down there, considering the fact that you were still an ass virgin. He always said he was gonna take your ass sometime, but you always said no. This was your first time. Fuck.
The finger in your ass caught you off guard as you let out a shriek, your asshole immediately tightening at the sensation.
“Jung…hah. My ass—hhnmpht!”
He shushes you up with a kiss and got into work, rubbing your swollen little clit with his right hand and finger your tight asshole with his left hand, all while his cock absolutely ruined you from below.
“Stop! Too much! Too much! Too much!”
You slobber all over his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably as your entire body shiver and crumble against him. You didn’t have to tell Jungkook once, he knew you were just about to cum.
“Cum, baby. Let go. You’ve done amazing.” He fastens his pace on your clit, giving you just enough simulation.
“Ah! I’m g’na pee! FuckfuckfuckfuckSTOP!!”
You let out one more loud cry before aggressively trembly. Your pussy is so used and swollen and your ass hurts so much. Fuck. It didn’t take that long till your pussy starts squirting angrily. Your eyes widen, back arching as you let your pussy take full control of your body.
Jungkook pulls out of you for a brief moment to let you squirt wherever. His hand never left your clit though, continuing to rub at an increased speed. Your pussy convulses aggressively, squirting on everything and everywhere. The sheets behind you were fully drenched with your squirt and so was his dick, that was right under you.
“I’m sorry I’m making a mess all over your bed,” you cry into his shoulder, completely overwhelmed with everything that’s happening.
You’re still squirting. You don’t know if you’re actually squirting or just straight up pissing yourself on him. This was so embarrassing. Your face was so red. This is so humiliating fuckfuckfuck.
“I’m so”—you choke,“—embarrassed. Ahh, I’ve ruined everything.” You cry out, covering your face with your hands. Jungkook understood that this was an intense moment for you. You’ve squirted before, but never this hard. He soothes you by bringing you into his embrace, tracing patterns on your back to help you calm down.
You choke on your tears again. You were crying so much. You’ve never cried this much during sex before. As concerned he was for you, he was starting to admit he liked that sight. He liked it when you were crying out for him.
You let out the last bit of squirt on his cock, drenching him fully. Jungkook’s cock twitches, it’s angry head starting to let out spurts of cum.
Fuck, he couldn’t believe it. He was cumming. He was cumming so hard from just watching you orgasm. He was getting off to your orgasm.
“Fuck. Shit. Oh my god”, Jungkook groans. He throws his head backwards, letting his cum spurt out as you squeezed his balls. There was a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead as his face changed into various expressions as he emptied his balls into your mouth.
You made sure to put your mouth on it and let his cum fall right onto your tongue, just how he liked it. And you also made sure to swallow it all, just how he liked it.
You were still getting off of your high as well, body still crumbled against his.
“It’s okay, babygirl”, Jungkook coos into your ear and soothingly rubs your pussy slowly with your palm till you calm down.
“It stings”, you whine.
“Hmm, I know, baby. Take a deep breath.”
You obey him, taking a deep breath as he wiped off your tears. You sniffle. Your pussy was still throbbing and hole gaping. Fuck. You’re gonna stay stretched like this for a while. He ripped you apart.
“My gorgeous girl. You did so well.” He presses a kiss to your temple. “I can’t believe I fucking came to you squirting”, he chuckles.
“I wanted you to cum in my pussy.” You whine, spreading your pussy lips apart once again.
“I know. But this is more than enough. You know I get off to your orgasms.” He swats your hand away.
“Let her rest.” Jungkook leans down to press a kiss to your swollen worn out pussy.
You cry out, scooting closer to him.
Jungkook then picked you up, took you to the bathroom, made you pee, and brought you back to bed after changing the sheets.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
What?
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