#do you like stories about compassion and humanity and hope and love and forgiveness

[spitblaze]

[sepublic]

            The Owl House is about many, many things. It’s about neurodivergence, weirdness, not fitting in and being left out. It’s about finding a community of others like you. It’s about being your own person, but also wanting to be a part of something, and balancing these seemingly paradoxical things. It’s about how everyone is alike and similar to each other, but also each person is wholly unique and irreplaceable.

         Everyone has their own story, we all think we’re special or more better in some way than the rest. There is no destiny, but people have the power to choose and decide for themselves. We can all mess up and do something wrong, but what truly prevents us from getting better isn’t circumstance, it’s the refusal to improve; Just deciding to do so and taking that first step forward is all you need to begin.

         It’s about disability, about not fitting up to a certain standard and that’s okay, even if you’d also like to do that. It’s knowing what you’re good at and discovering that, and it not having to fit other people’s definitions of what’s meaningful. It’s about learning and loving and doing things for their own sake, not as a means to an end, it’s about the value of art and how it makes us humans.

         We have powerful relationships with stories. They can heal us, inspire us, motivate us. But they can cloud and delude people, set them down paths of arrogance and solipsism. Stories mean a lot, especially to the neurodivergent, to those who fit in, and it can be seen as cringey or too much, too overwhelming, but no those feelings are valid, even if people must be responsible about how they express them. Stories can do so much for us, but they aren’t everything either; Reality is just as important and necessary to engage with.

         It’s about different ways of thinking and learning, of doing things, and how they’re all valid. Different existences, diversity, a wide variety of experiences, and how could you want to make the world smaller by making it more monotonous? But you must approach differences with respect and understanding, it’s exciting to engage in something new, but you must be the difference between a colonizer and an immigrant. It’s a defiance to conformity but a reminder to mind others around you. Be kind, for even if others take it for granted, compassion does well in the long run.

         Sometimes kindness won’t work for some people, but ultimately we must counter Christian ideas of retributive justice, guilt, and punishment in order to prioritize healing and rehabilitation. Restorative justice is what will build the world back up, let it heal. There is no fate, no greater God or will, it’s just people interacting together, sometimes trapping themselves in a cycle of their own making, but still people.

         People aren’t above nature, nor are they separate; Do not seek to control or tame others, be it that you don’t understand and assume foreign, or those you do notice commonality. You can’t make people do things, only yourself, but you can give them the freedom and support to decide better. Forgiveness is not mandatory either, if you truly want to do better. You are not the hero and that’s why you can forgive yourself for not fixing everything on your own.

         Co-exist with nature, with different things and their own ways of existing, instead of trying to justify them as a natural resource to exploit. It’s about environmentalism, sowing seeds for more to come, instead of just taking. It’s about a cycle of kindness where you put things in and hope what comes out, the next generation, does even better for you; Rather than a cycle of pain where you spread and project that, and refuse to acknowledge people for who they are.

         It’s about people overlooked in real life; People of color, the queer, the neurodivergent. It’s about non-conventional family structures, found family; The bonds we make and choose, because things don’t have to be given to us at the start of life. We can earn and build it for ourselves just as much, if necessary.

         There’s perception, learning to trust in your own abilities and those of others. Learning to be positive about your body and its appearance and alleged shortcomings. It’s about seeing people for they are as a whole, not something you whittle and simplify them down into. Parents want the best for their children, but they were children once and are just as flawed and messy as the rest of us.

         Accept change, accept things even if they’re bad, like death or disabilities, because sometimes you just have to learn to live with it. You can’t hide in an insincere fantasy, hollow and bereft of substance; Make real connections and experiences. But you can also strive for things to be better, and you can recover. Wounds heal, even if scars might linger.

         Chance can cause anything, you can never be too certain about what comes your way, how people will impact you, and you’ll impact them. It’s how people live beyond death through the influence of their actions, and that is more alive than any failed resurrection or clone. Give freely, just because others suffer less than you, doesn’t mean they should suffer at all. Be the change you want to be, take initiative.

         People wander around, searching for homes. People are cast out or lost, but find new places to belong. Nobody deserves to be in a cage, nor lost. We’re all seeking for those connections, pre-existing or to be made. Some places you won’t fit in, some people won’t accept or be interested, and that’s okay because there’s always someone out there.

         It’s about wanting to be special but also understood, for people to see and learn about you in good faith, to give you the time of day. It’s reciprocal love, about healthy boundaries in relationships. You are more than what you do for others, and locking them out to deny your pain will only hurt them in the long run, too; To love yourself is to love others. It’s okay to be selfish and even angry, it doesn’t have to come at the expense of others, and sometimes you have to prioritize yourself over those who do you harm. Wanting things isn’t inherently harmful to others and can co-exist with wanting things for others too.

         Think critically, question what you’re told, come to your own conclusions. Defy binaries, things aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive nor paradoxical. Don’t settle for singular choices, it’s the fine yet real line between indecisiveness and openness. Let people try new things while giving them the space and support to back out or change their mind. Friendships exist between generations, among them, kids deserve to have other kids as their friends, and mentors.

         It’s about how the loss of a parent leaves you alone and grieving. Wondering about them. How they can impart a final gift onto you, something to revolve your whole life around because it’s your world and it’s them. Grief can manifest into betrayal over feeling abandoned; Or a desire to honor and live in their name. It’s hard to say goodbye and find the right words, language can affirm so much.

        It’s about the ordeals of growing up and coming of age, realizing how terrible or difficult things can be, but confronting that instead of retreating to emerge stronger. History changes but also repeats itself, the cycle renews. 

        Fiction and reality have a divide, but they can intersect, or invade one another. It’s about making things real, while recognizing when they aren’t. But fantasy is an example of what could be, and that’s the hope that inspires a kid to keep moving forward. People deserve a chance and that’s why judgment should be reserved, as we’re all still making mistakes and learning.

        It’s about connecting with the world around you, both the people and the place itself, and loving and understanding them both for who and what they are. It’s about finding a home, which can be many things, as long as it makes you feel like you belong. That’s why it’s called The Owl House.

[sokkastyles]

To continue the discussion re: Katara and forgiveness I have a scalding hot take. It's important for me to disclaim that I don't fault Katara for wanting revenge on her mother's killer, nor have I ever believed she was in the wrong for feeling that way. However, sometimes I think Katara is expected to be an eternally forgiving Madonna figure because that was the image of herself she herself projected. From the very start of the show she's been rather self-righteous and never had doubts about her indestructible moral compass. Her line from Spirit Lady about never turning her back on the people who need her just gave me the impression that she has a mighty big savior complex. I know most people are endeared to her for those reasons but due to my own personal tastes it had the opposite effect for me (and I'm worried I'll get some flack for saying all this). I love characters who struggle with doing the Right Thing (tm) SUE ME. And now comes a situation where she finally FINALLY has a major moral quandary. She's manufactured this image of being perpetually virtuous. But now the illusion is shattered when there's discordance between what she wants to do versus what is the right (albeit, subjectively so) thing to do. You know, something every other human on earth has struggled with and that for a while she had distanced herself from. It was refreshing to see this major conflict between her and the people in her life. I just wanted to share my two cents (and friendly reminder I acknowledge that it's a scalding hot take) and I hope my criticism of Katara doesn't evoke too much anger from the ATLA masses *Sweats nervously*

To be honest, I think it's odd to say that Katara has always portrayed herself as perpetually virtuous when she's introduced to us in the very first episode yelling about having to wash Sokka's dirty socks. Right off the bat, we are told that she is a character who does NOT accept the role of the perfect, quiet, subservient, nurturing female. That's what I mean by a Madonna figure. It's a specific term used to describe misogynistic standards placed on women. Standards Katara speaks out against, loudly and openly, in the first few seconds she is introduced.

Katara's strong sense of morals is another matter. Katara has a defined sense of right and wrong and that means she holds herself to high standards, too, but that is a big part of her moral struggle. And that's been a part of her arc since early on, too, when she ran into conflict with the earthbenders or Jet in season one because they didn't live up to her moral standards and because she didn't know what the right thing to do was when the people she expected to be the heroes wouldn't step up in the way she expected, or turned out to actually be the villains. Katara has a certain way she expects the world to be and throughout the show that ideal is constantly fighting with the reality of the world and its expectations.

But all of this also occurs because of the pressure she feels to fit a certain standard, and to say that Katara imposed this on herself is kinda ignorant of the institutional nature of sexism, to be honest. Katara may think it's her job to take care of everyone, but she was eight years old when she began to internalize that, and it didn't happen in a vacuum, it happened due to the expectations that already existed for girls to take on a motherly role plus the trauma of her mother's death.

That's one of the things about sexism. It says that girls and women need to behave a certain way, then treats that prescribed behavior like it's a natural trait instead of a learned one and makes it the subject of mockery. Katara is often treated this way by the narrative, too. And then when she acts in a way that is counter to that prescribed behavior, it's portrayed as weird or out of line, even though that part of Katara has always been present throughout the story, and in fact one of the reasons she was so angry in the Southern Raiders was because the others kept acting like she was somehow not herself instead of recognizing where her hurt was coming from.

Sorry, I find this take to be luke-warm, at best.

[spyridonya]

Kadira's Opinions About the Companions

Tag game: Give your KC’s first impression and final opinion of each of their companions!

Thank you for tagging me, @dujour13!

First Impressions are generally spoiler free. Past that… well. Heavier spoilers aren't there. My Golden Shell AU rose up to reply to this one.

Tagging: @jean-dieu, @dmagedgoods, @cassynite, @chaosteddybear, @thesolemnhour, @bearvanhelsing

First impressions

Seelah - Every time I read of paladins, I read stories of self rightous men with strong jaws and arrogant air demanding of others. She didn't know me but despite the danger she was the one to seek out help for me without question. She seems friendly but… is it due to her being young like I am?

Camellia - Oh, she's so lovely and regal. There's something that… It strikes me that if you have amnesia like I do, you shouldn't be reminded of someone or something. Yet I am. My only question is how she didn't managed to get injured or attacked like that poor man she found.

Seelah – A paladin with a party spirit. Now this is someone I can really get behind. (wink)

Lann - That smile doesn't reach either of his eyes and that frown just suits him too well. He's familiar with it … and he's so young. I think he has about as much social grace as I do, which makes sense, but he's already embracing such a short life.

Wenduag - Excuse me? Does she really not know that most tieflings had no choice in their conception? Does she truly believe that most tieflings of the Worldwound come from a consensual union? The damn ingorance of her!

Woljif - Oh, Shelyn and the Stag Mother! He's not the only tiefling that acts as he does that I've met these past few days… but how much and how many are of us that he can be so arrogant and fearless?

Ember - She's an elf! An elf! A child! Likely no older than a 14 year old human in her maturity if that… Her family must of arrived before … whatever happened to me, did. I don't know if this kindness she holds is genuine, madness, or divinely inspired considering that crow

Daeran – I know that voice! I know that damned voice telling someone to toss me in a ditch… though, he has a very good point on why I was brought to a festival rather than something more appropriate. ... ... I won't tell him this, of course. Jerk.

Nenio- She… she might be brilliant and she can retain so much information. It's simply the output of that information that's in question…

Ulbrig - He doesn't look like my grandparents, but there is variety among the tribes of our people. It's shocking how different we are despite the accent.

Galfrey - Oh. Oh, my grandfather adored this woman and saw her as our only hope. He can't… I think so much has happened between then and now. God, there's so much in the books.

Sosiel - Another Shelynite! He truly does embrace her art and has a sense of compassion but… there's naviety with him. Or maybe I just… Maybe I put too much focus on Shelyn and her boundless love.

Regill - I believe the only difference between a Cheliax Hellknight and a Crusader is one is far better dressed. They're both invaders to this land and they're determined to change everything whole cloth and commit atrocities… yet the Hellknights don't act like they never committed a horror.

Arueshalae - I don't know how I know this but… I believe her. Even if she didn't tell me Desna granted her this partiular grace, I could tell. There's still damnation in her gaze and spirit, but she's aware of it, and she aches about it. Succubi don't do that…

Greybor - The Stag Mother forgive me, he reminds me of my Uncle Ila. The distance and focus of his professionalism… though I think Ila didn't want to be seen as another refugee.

Trevor - I shouldn't even ask how long he's been here. I know he's… He didn't have protection down here. None.

Final Impressions

Seelah - She passed through the fire of her own self doubt, but I'm so glad she never forgot that compassion, kindness, and understanding is all we have against the demonic forces now.. .and now that they're gone. I'm going to miss her hugs, but I know she's going to save the world again and again.

Camellia - The was a question of nature versus nurture, and all the protesting that Gwerm gave us, I don't think… Nothing excuses what she's done, nothing excuses for me not seeing it sooner. But the man who could burn a painting of what he should have cherished the most isn't a man who could help her.

Lann - I don't want him to go. I want him to stay. The very idea of neither myself or Daeran not being there to take care of him hurts. I'm so scared he won't come back… I don't think he's going to age and come back to us old and broken. However, sea is so terrifying and chaotic despite it not being cruel. I know he needs to see the world but it's going to hurt so much.

Wenduag - It seems in the end, she was the one who prostrated herself before demons, and in the back of her mind, she knew this but couldn't allow herself to look at what she had become. If she looked back, I think she would have shattered.

Woljif – Idiot boy, I love you so much and I'm so very damn proud to become your sister you never had.

Ember - Once upon a time, when we were both recently hurt and broken, we came to a decision on what to be. I saw compassion as a choice, not because I was naive… I saw it necessary because it gives joy. And I never knew much. Maybe this concept was selfish but… Ember sees it much the same way. It was how she survived and bloomed.

Daeran - When he sleeps now, next to me or between Lann and I, he breathes so deeply and evenly. Even when the occasional nightmare shatters somewhere among the three of us, he's no longer afraid to sleep. And, oh, how I love watching him sleep… as much as he loves watching me smile.

Nenio - I think she's one of the most beautiful mistakes in the world, and I'm always glad to help her discover.

Ulbrig - We were both not whole, I don't think we'll ever be, but Ulbrig isn't the old anymore. He's absolutely new and true… I can't think of a better person to help break new ground in our homeland. Galfrey - The world changes, and she cannot… and she never has. Not really. There is no crusade for a crusader queen and mistakes and stubborn beliefs can no longer be forgiven because there are demons at the door. I hope she realizes she's no longer a crusader queen for her own sake.

Sosiel - I'm afraid he'll find he can't go home to what he remembers with Trevor… Not the way it used to be. In some ways it will be better, in other ways, what he's learned will make his home and his future with his brother and Kirr all the more better.

Regill - He's one of the few people I can respect and admire… But I am glad he's going away and staying true to his word. I don't know what the other Orders will do, but the Godclaw's vigil is done.

Trevor - I think in finally being shown a measure of compassion he never truly understood, he understands the tenets of Shelyn's fate isn't someone who is naive but someone who has to have a strong will. And Trevor has such a strong will.

Arueshalae - That weight she has on her shoulders will never leave her, and she knows this. Redemption doesn't entirely free you of burdens. Redemption gives you the chance and belief that anything is possible, including saving your own heart and soul as you save others. One day, I know her wings are going to become gossmer.

Greybor - Going home is hard, but he realizes he can go home and become the man he always afraid to be.

[caelumsnuff]

Oh the reason im the number 1 Caelum fan??? Because im the only one who's every truly understood him.

Nobody else gets him like i do, nobody else is willing to acknowledge and explore the depth of his character. Everybody sees a dumb little sweetie (he is) but that's not all he is. He's extremely emotionally intelligent and kind to the core, he knows the darkness that swirls around in the human mind, the evil that mankind (and D(a)emonkind) is capable of but he still holds hope and compassion in his heart. He believes in you, and me, and everyone with a childlike wonder not born of ignorance but born of experience and boundless hope. He's the light that we all need in our life and hearts, the ideal we should aspire towards. He's the sweet daemon-therapist-caretaker-friend that we need in our darkest days. He'll wake you up with hugs in the morning and tuck you into bed at night with bedtime stories as he strokes your hair. He'll bake cookies with you when you need a break from life, he'd make art with you to calm you down and relax together. He'd cuddle you on the couch and watch your favorite cartoon with you. He's empathetic and forgiving to a fault, but he never holds it as a grudge towards the world or those who've hurt him, he looks inwards to help himself to that he can help you. He even demonstrates to us how to reach out to those around you, to those you love and trust, for help in your darkest hour, and that there is no shame in doing so. It's okay to need help, and its okay to ask for it when you need it. And none of this is born from stupidity or naivety or ignorance or immaturity, but by choice and by the force of a pure golden heart.

He's my love, my life, my favorite little blorbo that lives in my head rent free. He's my barbie doll that i thrash around for fun, and at the end of the day i patch him up brand new and tuck us into bed together and he tells me stories until we fall asleep.

I've written him a dozen times, drawn him so many times ive lost count. I made a sim of him way back in 2021 and have routinely updated him since.

Night and day I think about him, I yap about him.

In my partner's dms i have mentioned him by name 70 times, she's not even in this fandom.

In a single server, 85 times

In the inbox of a best friend who also isn't even in the fandom, 31 times

He's me. I'm him. We are one in the same.

Undeniably, I am THE Caelum fan. I am Caelum Nation.

@plaqying :3

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

There are two dorks within me:

(I am neither well rested nor sober, forgive this being messy af)

Dorkus Primus sees Gotham War's plotline as being critically about the fact that there are more lines to cross than just killing and that if you (as Batman has in many many renditions of him) treat killing as the ONLY line you will not cross (also like a lot of Cops and Coppaganda does) then you ain't a hero! You will treat criminals in monstrous ways if you are willing to do anything except kill!!

Hurting Jason was very clearly meant to be one of those lines! Feeling like Batman is the villain in this one is the point!!

And like the Zur thing seems to be about grappling with how Batman is fundamentally not an answer to the challenges that the criminals themselves are facing because 'fuck em up and let the hospital and justice systems sort em out' does not do anything to help the criminals!!!! The Distilled Essence of Batman's reaction to seeing a dead criminal was to go hurt other criminals just as our own criminal "justice" system has no answer other than to hurt other criminals or victim blame the dead criminals.

Bruce, the side of human compassion, was willing to consider Selina's plan after seeing results because no matter how realistic or unrealistic Catwoman's scheme might be in logistical terms, if you accept the comic's premise that it was working, then it is factually more compassionate! People who commit crimes deserve compassion! Even if, or especially if, they continue to need to operate outside the law in order to survive! Batman and Bruce being separated out is key.

It also makes a TON of sense to have Jason in the center because he has many times been used as the Bad Apple Cop who kills criminals and thus legitimizes Batman's justice as being repairative even though... it... it does not... uh... seem to have actually been repairative in any comic I've read. And yet! Due to Jason's history he has a rich potential to be someone who is far far more sympathetic to his fellow criminals. Arguably has been in several versions of him.

Sidenote: I would LOVE to see him take up 'controlling crime' in the direction of doing shit like making sure all dealers gave free clean needles to their customers or shit like that, not that I have any hope of that ever happening

Thus Dorkus Primus thinks that it is 10000000% utterly critical that no vigilante or villain kills anyone and that no one else dies for the rest of the story to keep it being about the other lines one should not cross and how criminals are entitled to way more human rights than just their lives!!!

Dorkus Secundus says that it would be off the chain sick-nasty (positive) if Bruce killed Jason again and the fact that he died at the end of Under the Red Hood (technically unconfirmed but like wow is the evidence real stronk) was finally addressed when Jason is inevitably resurrected and actually breaks down and/or slips up and admits that this was his FOURTH stint walking in the resurrection direction. Also any version of him getting declared Officially Immortal in the Jack Harkness way would be reaaaaally dope!

...Shit actually the Superboy Prime method of resurrection has a LOT in common with the Bad Wolf method... sleepy thoughts for a decidedly different day!

[swallow-the-bird]

Do you have any favorite Harry Potter ships?

Well, besides my all-time favorite Grindeldore, I’m actually quite eclectic in my tastes! 🤣

Snarry, Snamione, Snily, Jily, Hedric, Dnarry, Sirry… I’ve read fanfictions about all of them, and I’ve enjoyed them. Perhaps it’s because the Harry Potter fandom has so many talented writers. As long as the story is captivating, I’m thrilled to read it!

There’s another pairing that I initially thought was improbable, but later became infatuated with—

Harrymort/Tomarry!!

***** ‼️ LONG post alert ‼️ Oh, whenever I get to a topic that excites me, I always end up being such a chatterbox🤣Please also be aware of what I say below is only my VERY SUBJECTIVE opinions ‼️ *****

While Harrymort/Tomarry seem to have a lover-enemy dynamic similar to Grindeldore, the premise for each is vastly different. Gellert and Albus once passionately loved each other in their youth, while Tom/Voldemort and Harry share deep animosity and are destined adversaries. How could they possibly be together? Moreover, I once believed that Tom Riddle was an emotionless monster. (But I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense!)

While Gellert might be categorized as a sociopath, capable of true loyalty and emotions towards a select few - Albus Dumbledore- and taking a lifetime to learn how to love, he at least has the capacity to love. This is evident when he ultimately understands the true meaning of remorse and willingly sacrifices his life to protect another’s grave.

But what about Tom?

In my eyes, Tom is a complete psychopath. Perhaps his traumatic childhood twisted his moral compass, but some characteristics seem innate and psychological. Tom’s emotional blunting seems more pronounced. He inherently lacks empathy and remorse. Even if he can comprehend others’ emotions and manipulate them, he doesn’t genuinely understand or empathize with them, which is why he can’t grasp the concept of remorse. Hence, he chose to become Voldemort. This made me question:

How can such a person love? He doesn’t even understand what love is.

This mirrors Gellert’s scathing taunt to Voldemort, “…there is so much you do not understand—!”

Yes, Tom Riddle—Voldemort— does not, and cannot understand love. But can he?

Some of my favorite authors have remarked:

“Yes, Tom Riddle—Voldemort— does not understand love, and he may never be able to. But just because you don’t understand something, does that mean you can’t have it?”

Harry is like a reflection of Tom Riddle. While Tom Riddle, in his hatred and fear, denied love and chose to become Voldemort, Harry, despite facing the same hatred and fear, came to understand what courage meant and chose love.

“Just by letting Harry see even the tiniest hint of Voldemort’s humanity, he will bravely embrace that one-in-a-million hope.”— Oh yes, hope. This is how many Tomarry/Harrmort fictions begin their stories.

Harry might harbor hatred for Voldemort for a lifetime, but the essence of forgiveness isn’t the absence of hate; it’s about learning to move on. If there’s anyone willing to embrace a shattered soul with such heinous crimes, it would be Harry Potter. Just as he has embraced death with the same courage, it’s this Harry who, when confronting his lifelong nemesis, still chooses “Expelliarmus”.

This love-hate story is inevitably not just about the hopes and courage of love, but also about its pain and despair. It makes us question the nature of love, hate, life, death, and humanity.

Harry understands love, so he believes in humanity, which gives him hope and courage, especially when mired in human flaws and tragedies.

“You see the world in such a unique way; I believe even despair seems colorful to someone like you.”—this is a line from one of my favorite Harrmort stories, “One thing he will never know”. In it, Harry chooses to cling to that sliver of hope in Voldemort and falls hopelessly in love with him. When Harry grapples with guilt, Dumbledore leaves him with this wisdom.

"It may seem terribly wrong, but if I may venture a guess, it must also feel so right," were Dumbledore's last words to the boy, "Harry, I don't think there is any shame in love. You must never doubt that when someone has been loved like this, it always leaves a mark, and that it will eventually change everything. You are much braver than I ever was.”

Thanks to these brilliant fanfictions, I’ve come to believe in the heart Voldemort thought he never had. Even if it’s fractured, it still exists, and a sliver of humanity remains. Perhaps we all need a broad perspective to see the world:

Not understanding love doesn’t mean you can’t have it.

I just realized I wrote so much! Maybe it’s because I’ve never shared my love for Tomarry/Harrmort with anyone after Grindeldore. Here’s my chance!

PS One of my favorite fanfictions, “One thing he will never know,” is written by a talented Taiwanese author in Chinese.If you’re interested, you can check it out here:

(* I've taken the liberty of translating some of the lines that impressed me most into English, as I wrote above.)

I also have read many excellent Tomarry/Harrmort stories from the English fandom. If you have any recommendations, please share them with me!

[melandrops]

The Magnus Archives, as told through the song Melancholy Man by the Moody Blues

Jon Sims, a man doomed by the narrative from the start. At the beginning of the end, he Knows all but Understands very little. As he trudges through the barren wasteland of the apocalypse, his failures cling to him like tree sap.

Martin has been through life event after life event, each more tragic than the last. By the time Peter comes to him he doesn't even have the energy to grieve what he knows will be his own demise. Holed up in Peter's office, Martin can do nothing but watch the person he (used to) love struggle as monsters throw themselves at Jon. He puts his head down and keeps working. This is what he can be good for.

The panopticon begins to crumble and there stand two broken, abused men who have been to hell and back. Their world has fallen to pieces around them and it only gets worse from there. Martin looks on in devastation as the love of his life becomes a god and can't help but feel true rage. They didn't ask for this.

The last thought Jon has before he dies is of the people he used to call friends. Tim, Sasha and Martin, the best people he's ever known. The people he clings onto his humanity with increasing desperation for. He can remember the way Tim spat vile curses at him, the way he said "I don't forgive you," right before he died. Jon is and always has been convinced that he doesn't deserve forgiveness. His friends were victims (so was he) and deserved better.

In the split second before Jon and Martin die, they see into the thousands of other universes before them. They see a world where they met as anyone else does, and fall in love not through trauma but through the sweet nerves of first and second dates. Perhaps there is a world where Martin's mum was never sick, and Jon never picked up that book. There are versions of Jon and Martin who are happy, who have seen difficulty but never anything like the life-ending trauma of what they've been through. They are the same people, to be sure, but the life they live is so alien to the two men who lay dying in the ruins of the panopticon.

Loss after loss after loss. Betrayal and grief and suffering one after the other. A body that doesn't feel like his own anymore. Skin that burns when he thinks about the cool feeling of lotion. Dead bodies of the people he tried to protect lay behind him as he walks forward. The dread of knowing that his every move has been choreographed. What good is knowledge and sight without the ability to use it to protect people? When the Oracle speaks a prophecy, knowing it does not make it stoppable.

Jon hopes and prays that history will be kind to him. Or at the very least, forgetful. He hopes that the people who tell his story will understand how hard he tried to be good. To do right. He hopes that they will see his wrongdoings, his horrific crimes and have the compassion to see him as someone who just wanted to be free. He hopes that they will believe him if he ever has the chance to say he never wanted any of this.

Jon and Martin were both doomed from the start. They never had a choice but to fail. Sometimes, in quiet nights, they hold each other and grieve. Their fear is a black hole in their chests, eating up all that is good in their lives. They ache for what could have been. But it could never have gone any other way.

[dirtytransmasc]

I agree with your take on Spider. Like no one shits on kids with absent fathers who still desperately crave a relationship or connection with them, and that's what it is with Spider and Quaritch. (+ all the other stuff)

Like the Sully kids refer to Spider as their brother, but it really isn't till the end that we really see Jake refer to Spider as his son, and it's clear that Neytiri doesn't view Spider as her kid. Spider actively hides from Neytiri in that one scene, it's clear that he thinks that Neytiri would go after him in that moment, and Jake does refer to Spider as a 'stray cat' in the beginning. We also can't forget that no once did either Jake or Neytiri really ever mention going back for Spider or try to actively rescue him once they find out that Spider is traveling with Quaritch.

It's also clear that none of the scientists that remained on Pandora ever really became any sort of real parental figure for Spider. They took care of them, yes, but they seem to do it out of a sense of responsibility since they can't send him back to Earth.

I really don't blame Spider for saving Quaritch, he's a kid that confronted with leaving his father to die and this is after Quaritch showed that he actually cared about Spider and viewed him as a son. (Letting Kiri go to stop Neytiri.)

exactly.

I can say as a kid with more then one shitty father figure, I would have probably done the same, no matter the circumstance. spider reacted on a childish impulse to save his father, to save the man who showed him mercy, who was kind to him, who saved his life.

I don't blame neytiri for her feelings towards spider, he is a physical reminder of all the pain she went through and u til what happened with Kiri there's no sign she was every anything more then indifferent to his face (behind closed doors is another story, but she did him the decency of avoiding rather then actively hating) but she played a huge role in how he reacted to quaritch, how desperate he was for connection for love and parental attention. I have a little less sympathy for Jake, he knew what it was like to be human in a na'vi world, he knew what it was like to be different (even human Jake knew that, knew it very well, spider is a human in a world not built for him, by definition, spider was disabled and Jake did little actually aid him). spider was strung between worlds, families, morals, and decisions no child should have to pick between. I say he did his damn best to try and please everyone and himself.

I also think people have to take into consideration, he never grew cold. that boy was faced with social isolation, losing his parents, being abused (by human quaritch as a little kid and then later again in life he was more emotionally used and abused by most of the people around him), neglect, being tortured, seeing his father hurt the na'vi and the tulkans, losing a brother, almost being killed by neytiri, and more (I feel like I'm leaving something out, but I can't remember it) and never once does he grow cold. he feels so much every time, has so much empathy, feels so much guilt and compassion. yet he never turns to violence, he is one of few characters who avoids bloodshed (he fucked up helping quaritch, and you can feel his guilt when he realizes what he's allowed to happen.) unless it's to protect his family (he's the last to put down his bow during the kidnapping) and even then it always feels like more of a bluff and front, like his raising his hackles and bristling up in defense. I think him saving quaritch shows he is more then capable of mercy and empathy, but also that he is the most capable of forgiveness and accepting change which will be important as this story continues (listen, ai know it's unlikely, but I'm rooting for the whole, quaritch connecting with eywa and reaching some sort of enlightenment and getting redeemed plotline, cause I like sappy shit like that) cause having someone so willing to forgive, to be hopeful that people can change to be the bridge between the sully family and whoever's to come is vital, cause the Sully's are only going to get colder as they lose more and more. they need that hopeful innocence to keep them a float.

[gffa]

LUMI OH MY GOD?!?! I just saw your new recs omg THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FIC RECS FOR TRISTAMP!!! you wont believe how genuinely happy i am to see your recs for it! god i cant wait to read all of them, im sure they are all superb and golden 🥹 before i end this ask though, i wanna inflict some Feelings (pain) at you (and whoever read this):

Do you ever think about how insanely well the depiction of nai’s loud glaring all-consuming love for vash VERSUS vash’s quiet subtle all-embracing love for nai. The former so obvious you cant deny it and the latter you gotta dig & see the signs and when you do it blows your mind. I’m Fine. This Is Fine.JPG. 😭👍

You are very welcome! There are some really stunning works for this fandom, I hope they heal something in you (as they did for me) after everything that happened in the show. And oh my god I have been stewing on Knives' love for Vash and how complicated it is, how it's tied up in what they are just as much as who they are, that it's not just one or the other, and he is absolutely consumed by it in a very loud roar, while Vash is also consumed by his love, for humanity and for his brother, that it eats away at him because he loves, even so much that Nai can hurt him this badly and he still loves and loves and loves. And I think both of them are defined by humanity in their own ways, that Knives' hurt and fury over humanity's actions is just as defining to him as Vash's forgiveness and compassion for humanity is for him. And I think that it's telling that neither of them can let go of the other, even when Vash runs, he feels responsible for Nai, he can't let him go in his heart, and I think Nai's telling the truth (in his own extremely twisted way) about wanting to do this for Vash, that I think it still all does go back to Tesla and what humanity did to her--and what Vash lets humanity do to him, that I think Knives sees it as humanity carving away piece after piece of Vash, like they did before, like they'll always do. He's blinded by it, of course, so much of it is his own hurt and rage that he's doing this for, because this isn't what Vash wants, this isn't what will make Vash happy, but I don't think it's untrue that Knives is basically Magneto taken to an extreme here, that we do see the humans hurting the Plants, we do see Tesla's body, we do see the cruel sides of what they can do. And we see that willingness of humanity to hurt the Plants play out on Vash's body and I don't think Knives could possibly be unaffected by that. I would also say that I think some part of Vash must want Nai to see what he sees, that his compassion and love for humanity perseveres despite their flaws, that he's still here despite all the danger he's been put in, that Rem's love for them was just as real as what happened with Tesla and that they can all find the good together. He's not naive, he knows that Knives is serious about killing every human he comes across, that he knows Knives is dangerous, but Vash still loves him, still wants him to remember Rem with Vash, still wants to share his love for humanity with Knives. And like. It's the kind of story where they have to still love each other, because otherwise it wouldn't hurt when they fought each other, it wouldn't hurt when the other was separated from them. If Knives didn't love Vash or if Vash didn't love Knives, then what's the point of setting such emotional scenes on them? What's the point of that ending of Tristamp if it's not completely gutting the audience because the events in JuLai completely devastated Vash? They're inverse images of each other, they're designed to be upside down reflections of each other, their love for each other is at the heart of their very designs.

[hamliet]

Rereading A Storm of Swords

In light of my recent Fire & Blood reread, I decided to reread the whole ASOIAF series because, well, why not. Below are some general observations/musings on the themes, character arcs, alchemy, and foreshadowing. I’ll do this for the others as well. It’s not really a meta proper, so much as observations and thoughts.

Thoughts on A Game of Thrones here and A Clash of Kings here.

Themes

Duty vs Love

Again, Martin contrasts duty and love. Robb forgives Catelyn for freeing Jaime because "what you did, I know you did for love... Love's not always wise."

Meanwhile, Tywin treats his children as pawns, literally trying to marry them again and telling them they'll do what he tells them because of duty:

"Go," their father said. "We shall talk again after you have composed yourself. Remember your duty."

And Brienne defends Robert by telling Jaime that his rebellion is justified because of love:

"Why is it that no one names Robert oathbreaker? He tore the realm apart, yet I am the one with shit for honor." "Robert did all he did for love."

I don't really have a ton new to say that I didn't already say in my ACOK's post, but again, Martin doesn't seem to see duty/honor and love as actual opposites, but instead suggests there's a balance to be struck. The idea that duty at its most extreme transforms people into things, however, is something I'll talk about more later.

Individuality vs Ideas

Part of the reason ASOAIF is so complex is that it's deconstructing the idea that enemies and villains and "red shirts" are just empty ideas rather than living, breathing people. We have this idea throughout all books, but it's emphasized starting in ASOS:

"Enough." The Hound's face was tight with anger. "You're making noise. These names mean nothing. Who were they?" "People," said Lord Beric. "People great and small, young and old. Good people and bad people, who died on the points of Lannister spears or saw their bellies opened by Lannister swords.

Then we have Jon starting to empathize with the wildlings:

He did not want their friendship, any more than he wanted Ygritte's love. And yet . . . the Thenns spoke the Old Tongue and seldom talked to Jon at all, but it was different with Jarl's raiders, the men who'd climbed the Wall. Jon was coming to know them despite himself: gaunt, quiet Errok and gregarious Grigg the Goat, the boys Quort and Bodger, Hempen Dan the ropemaker. The worst of the lot was Del, a horsefaced youth near Jon's own age, who would talk dreamily of this wildling girl he meant to steal. "She's lucky, like your Ygritte. She's kissed by fire."

Martin also uses this "red shirts" idea to open and close the book in the prologue and epilogue. Chett and Merritt aren't particularly sympathetic characters on the outset, but from being in their mind, even if we see Chett as an incel-esque character and Merritt as a coward, we feel their fear and hopes and self-loathing too. It's impossible not to see them as human, and when they realize they're going to die... well. It leaves us with a strange feeling.

We Are All Just Songs

"We're all just songs in the end. If we are lucky." Oh look, we've got a title drop here! A title drop!

ASOIAF is playing with the ideas of stories. For example, characters like Sansa adore simplistic stories of courtly romances. Arya enjoys badass historical stories. Bran enjoys ghost stories. Daenerys enjoys stories about her family's history.

Well, any wonder each of their stories are deconstructing these ideas?

But Martin isn't saying stories are stupid or bad. If anything, he's saying we need stories. Stories are the ideals that help light our way through messy reality.

True Kings, True Knights

Throughout the first few books, we have Sansa telling us "he was no true knight" about the vile people serving Joffrey. The point isn't to mock Sansa, but instead to deconstruct her ideals. Through Sansa's pure-hearted belief and compassion, even for people like the Hound, they start to change and become more and more knightly.

Please note I'm not saying this is okay or whatever, just saying there is some romantic coding between them even when they're apart in the books. Should Sandor return and meet Sansa again, I would expect it to be a textbook chivalric romance:

a highly conventionalized medieval tradition of love between a knight and a married noblewoman, first developed by the troubadours of southern France and extensively employed in European literature of the time. The love of the knight for his lady was regarded as an ennobling passion and the relationship was typically unconsummated.

The "no true knight" mantra is also picked up this book by Brienne, who inspires similar change in Jaime. It's also repeated by Daenerys, with a twist:

"Some kings make themselves. Robert did." "He was no true king," Dany said scornfully. "He did no justice. Justice . . . that's what kings are for."

Again, I highly doubt we're going for a scorched earth burned ashes deconstruction here, but instead digging to the heart of what this means. What does it mean to be a just ruler for Daenerys? As much as she needs to mature and accept worser parts of herself, much like Sansa and Brienne, her general ideals are not themselves wrong, even if their application in the real world is messier than in songs.

Protecting the Innocent:

We have this theme throughout the story: those who protect the innocent are heroes. We even have this in the lore of the story itself, such as the Knight of the Laughing Tree (who is clearly Lyanna, and the incident clearly jumpstarted her relationship with Rhaegar).

Also, can't believe I have to say this, but in ASOIAF, hurting kids iz bad. It's particularly Bad. It's Bad Bad. (Nota Bene: I do not get how the House of the Dragon fans and even its actors do not get this very basic principle in ASOIAF). In earlier books, we had Ned full of regret for the deaths of Rhaegar's children and fear that Robert would hurt Cersei's. Now in ASOS, Martin hits us with this idea in almost every storyline.

Robb loses a lot of his army to punish someone who murdered two children in revenge for his own children. Oh look, it's almost like ASOIAF doesn't condone "an eye for an eye, a son for a son":

"They died," said Rickard Karstark, yielding no inch of ground. "The Kingslayer cut them down. These two were of his ilk. Only blood can pay for blood." "The blood of children?" Robb pointed at the corpses. "How old were they? Twelve, thirteen? Squires."

Then we have Daenerys and the Unsullied and the children crucified on the way to Meereen. The truly evil idea is seeing kids as a weakness, an idea that makes Dany "feel faint":

"To win his spiked cap, an Unsullied must go to the slave marts with a silver mark, find some wailing newborn, and kill it before its mother's eyes. In this way, we make certain that there is no weakness left in them."

Plus, it's stated directly:

Yet he saw himself as a hero, and heroes do not kill children."

Then we have Melisandre arguing that hurting children even for the best of intentions is the right thing to do, but the framing of this--through Davos' eyes--tells us this is completely wrong. Even if you lose your army and your life like Robb. Even if you lose everything. It's. Not. Worth. It.

The Lord of Light cherishes the innocent. There is no sacrifice more precious. From his king's blood and his untainted fire, a dragon shall be born.

(Clearly, this also foreshadows the demise of Shireen.)

Again, Davos, one of the most moral characters in this story, tells us directly what we should think:

"...what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?" "Everything," said Davos, softly.

This storyline also seems to be combined with Nissa Nissa, even though Nissa Nissa is an adult and not a child, because Azor Ahai has to sacrifice what he loves most. Stannis will sacrifice Shireen, his child, because she's what he loves most, but it won't work. I'd suggest that the idea is less "Stannis just wasn't chosen" and more "don't kill the innocent."

If there is a sacrifice to defeat the Others, I 100% do not see a Nissa Nissa situation happening, but instead a willing self-sacrifice.

Look Back! Look Back!

All of the characters have to look back if they are to go forward, as Daenerys is reminded by Quaithe. The problem is no one's doing that in their quest to look ahead.

Tyrion: "Some part of him had hoped for less indifference. Had hoped, he jeered bitterly, but now you know better, dwarf. Shae is all the love you're ever like to have". He has to face what happened with Tysha, to face the fact that he participated in that and became her monster, to ever be a better man.

Arya needs to face herself as a Stark and as someone who wants a family even more than she thinks she wants to be powerful: "Jaqen was gone, though. He'd left her. Hot Pie left me too, and now Gendry is leaving. Lommy had died, Yoren had died, Syrio Forel had died, even her father had died, and Jaqen had given her a stupid iron penny and vanished."

And Daenerys has to face her father's legacy, and likely will when she accidentally sets off Dear Old Dad's wildfyre in King's Landing: "If she was not her father's daughter, who was she?" This is the central question of Daenerys' arc. Her identity is in her status as the last living Targaryen. The question is whether she wants to continue the Targaryen legacy of madness and slavery, or destroy it (which she's doing).

Foreshadowing

Arya

When thinking of the original outline Martin somewhat scrapped and that Arya/Jon idea, I do wonder if this is a leftover idea meant to tell us something about Arya's future (namely, that Gendry is likely her love interest instead of Jon):

Arya gave Gendry a sideways look. He said it with me, like Jon used to do, back in Winterfell. She missed Jon Snow the most of all her brothers.

Tyrion

Well, Tywin says this at the start to Tyrion: 

You are done with whores. The next one I find in your bed, I'll hang.

The irony is Tywin won't find a whore in Tyrion's bed. Instead, Tyrion will find that precise whore, Shae, in his father's bed. And he "hangs" her by strangling her with that necklace.

Jon

Jon "had slain the wildling Orell, but some part of the man remained within the eagle." This is pretty likely foreshadowing for Jon remaining in Ghost for a bit before he's resurrected.

Jon and Daenerys

The story has a middle section somewhat littered with romantic longings and first loves. Daenerys is torn about Jorah, whom she doesn't love like that, and has a crush on Daario. She also sleeps with Irri. Arya and Gendry begin to show attraction. Jaime and Brienne. Jon and Ygritte. But here are some lines between Jon and Ygritte that hint at his romantic future:

She punched him. "That's vile. Would you bed your sister?" "Longspear's not your brother." "He's of my village. You know nothing, Jon Snow..."

"Then I'd push him in a stream or throw a bucket o' water on him. Anyhow, men shouldn't smell sweet like flowers." "What's wrong with flowers?"

Lol well at least she's his aunt?

Jon's already been strongly associated with blue roses, so this hints that Ygritte isn't a perfect match for him. She's kissed by fire, but not actually fire and air herself, like Dany is. Daenerys also liked the fact that the blue rose growing in a chink of ice at the wall "smell[ed] sweetly."

Lastly:

 A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall.

Again, I feel like this might be foreshadowing for Dany and Jon having a child someday. The one thing that makes me skeptical and wondering if the child may be more metaphorical is the timeline--whether or not there's enough time for them to bear a child and save the world from the Others. That said, there's plenty of foreshadowing for it, so...

Sansa

The White Ghost clearly predicts Sansa's hairnet's role in Joffrey's assassination, as well as offers a prophecy of Sansa slaying a giant at, a giant who tries to destroy Winterfell. This may indicate Sansa literally kills a giant at some point, or it might be metaphorical. The one who needs to be slain by Sansa is Littlefinger, but he hasn't really been associated with giant imagery yet just kidding @isammy7936 pointed out the obvious: that the Baelish family crest is the Titan of Braavos.

There's a followup scene of Sansa tearing Robert Arryn's doll that destroyed Winterfell later in the book, in the presence of Littlefinger who was helping her build it. I don't doubt that Littlefinger will help Sansa claim the North at some point, but I also see him trying to destroy the Starks.

Jaime

Oh, Jaime.

I cannot die while Cersei lives, he told himself. We will die together as we were born together.

When I reach King's Landing I'll have a new hand forged, a golden hand, and one day I'll use it to rip out Vargo Hoat's throat.

Smells like foreshadowing to me, although I don't think it will be Vargo Hoat's throat he rips out, but Cersei's he strangles.

Alchemy

Daenerys and Red

Continuing with Dany's theme of becoming red, sulfur, fire and air, the first city she takes is Astapor, a red city:

In the center of the Plaza of Pride stood a red brick fountain whose waters smelled of brimstone, and in the center of the fountain a monstrous harpy made of hammered bronze... Even through the thickness of her sandals, she could feel the warmth of the red bricks underfoot. 

The other red association I've seen is her dream that she is Rhaegar fighting the Others at the Trident. Most seem to think the battle against the others will end at Winterfell, which I tend to agree with. However, the fact that the final climax should involve red at some point makes me wonder, because this takes place specifically at the Red Fork of the Trident.

That night she dreamt that she was Rhaegar, riding to the Trident. But she was mounted on a dragon, not a horse. When she saw the Usurper's rebel host across the river they were armored all in ice, but she bathed them in dragonfire and they melted away like dew and turned the Trident into a torrent. Some small part of her knew that she was dreaming, but another part exulted. This is how it was meant to be. The other was a nightmare, and I have only now awakened.

Then again, fire is certain to be involved in defeating the Others, so it might well be red enough with that.

Bran and White

To continue the Starks are water and earth and white idea, Bran has this quote:

Moonlight painted the wet woods in shades of silver and turned the grey peaks white. Owls hooted through the dark and flew silently between the pines, while pale goats moved along the mountainsides.

Sansa and White

When I reread AGOT, I did take note that Sansa was given a red rose by Ser Loras, rather than the white he gave other girls. But in ASOS, Sansa talks to Loras about that very moment, and the point of this conversation is to reveal how little it meant to Loras. He gave her a red rose because he grabbed a red rose first, not because it meant anything. Seems like a meta commentary.

Arya and White/Water

When Arya dresses like a girl for the first time again, she wears something "lilac-colored, and decorated with little baby pearls."

Furthermore, Arya routinely stops to give water to the dying, even the executed. Even when people, like the Hound, ask for wine (red), she gives them water.

Brienne and Jaime

For Jaime and Brienne, there's very little I can say about their alchemical weddings that the fabulous @argentvive hasn't covered. The first is the dual in the creek, which is with swords and violent, while the second is in the bath. The first one is also littered with romantic and sexual imagery, and is frankly what I'd call metaphorical sex:

No sooner did she turn one cut than the next was upon her. The swords kissed and sprang apart and kissed again. Jaime's blood was singing. This was what he was meant for; he never felt so alive as when he was fighting, with death balanced on every stroke... He laughed a ragged, breathless laugh. "Come on, come on, my sweetling, the music's still playing. Might I have this dance, my lady?" ... She looks as if they caught us fucking instead of fighting.

Brienne is also marked as water/earth, and white, while Jaime is red and fire. Jaime tells Brienne:

Think of Tarth, mountains and seas, pools, waterfalls, whatever you have on your Sapphire Isle, think . . . 

Jaime slid into the offered seat quickly, so Bolton could not see how weak he was. "White is for Starks. I'll drink red like a good Lannister." " "I would prefer water," said Brienne. "Elmar, the red for Ser Jaime, water for the Lady Brienne..."

But after their second chemical wedding in the baths, they take on each other's qualities much more. Jaime dons his white cloak, lives in the white tower, and gives Brienne his Valyrian steel sword, which is colored with Lannister red (and is also a phallic symbol).

Arya and Gendry

Arya and Gendry's scenes become slightly romantically charged in this book. After she dresses like a girl, this conversation takes place.

Gendry put the hammer down and looked at her. "You look different now. Like a proper little girl." "I look like an oak tree, with all these stupid acorns." "Nice, though. A nice oak tree." He stepped closer, and sniffed at her. "You even smell nice for a change."

They then fight in a scene that parallels the Brienne and Jaime wrestling scene above.

Reconciling Opposites:

Another idea in this book spoken of by multiple characters is that of reconciling opposites. That's what alchemy is fundamentally concerned with. Meera states that hate and love are essentially two sides of the same coin. Barristan says greatness and madness are the same. Melisande says:

"The night is dark and full of terrors, the day bright and beautiful and full of hope. One is black, the other white. There is ice and there is fire. Hate and love. Bitter and sweet. Male and female. Pain and pleasure. Winter and summer. Evil and good." She took a step toward him. "Death and life. Everywhere, opposites. Everywhere, the war."

Again, George has pretty much confirmed Dany and Jon are the Song of Ice and Fire, so they need to unite.

Tyrion

One thing I wonder about is the use of homonculus (sometimes represented as a dwarf) and a rebis in alchemy, and whether or not Tyrion is intended to be a portrayal of either or both or neither. Homonculi are sometimes called "monsters", a name Tyrion bitterly embraces by the end of the book. Oberyn says that after Tyrion's birth, there were rumors he had the genitalia of male and female, but Tyrion didn't. At the same time, he does have odd features like two different colored eyes, etc that might hint at him being seen as an alchemical rebis. I don't know.

Other Thoughts

Tyrion as a Targaryen

Not only do I think it doesn't thematically work to have Tyrion as a Targaryen, but I think the line used at the end of this book as evidence ("You . . . you are no . . . no son of mine") strongly indicates the opposite--that Tyrion is indeed his father's son. You see, Tywin literally says the exact same sentiment only a few chapters earlier to Jaime:

The strained silence went on until it was more than Jaime could endure. "Father . . . " he began.

"You are not my son." Lord Tywin turned his face away. "You say you are the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and only that. Very well, ser. Go do your duty."

If people want to argue the Tyrion Targaryen angle, this is not really evidence itself.

Tyrion the Monster

Tyrion's the first of the Main Six to dive off the cliff, starting at the end of this book where he lies to Jaime to tell him he killed Joffrey, desperate to hurt Jaime the same way he's hurting. He's enraged he literally saved the city and no one cares; they all just want him dead for his disability, for things he cannot help. He can't even find love because of it, and he craves love. So he finally decides to be the monster they think he is.

Insofar as the other two likely heads of the dragon go... I think they'll take similar approaches to their dark spirals. We see hints of it this book. Daenerys won't look back until confronted with it, so she'll probably be like "let me prove myself with fire and blood" (actually, this is exactly what her ADWD arc leads to her deciding to do). Jon notes the fact that people assume bastards are craven and scheming, and I do not doubt that is exactly what Jon will become after he's resurrected: he's probably going to ditch the Wall, the fight, and everything for a time.

Jeyne Westerling

Poor Jeyne. Despite her mother's machinations to get Jeyne to seduce Robb, I do believe she and Robb genuinely loved each other--as much as anyone could. Their story seems to be a deconstruction of the "love at first sight" trope, wherein they love each other but don't entirely know each other, and have to get used to each other as people rather than as just objects of love. Hence, Jeyne turning to Catelyn for advice. Which frankly was a wise thing to do :'')

The True Fight

Davos reminds Stannis what the true fight is: up north, fighting the Others. I'm sorry but I can't see the books ending with the show's ending, where the true fight is against humans. No, this isn't thematically contradictory with the idea that the story is about humanity or the human heart against itself; the opposite in fact.

The true fight all humans face is against death, and what we do to live in the face of the reality that we're all going to die.

[sburbian-sage]

oh, i see. you ARE THE ONE WHO ADVISED MY tumor.

when SOMETHING CHANGED, i thought IT WAS SOMETHING INTERNAL TO THE SESSION. he MUST HAVE USED rage COMMANDS TO TURN THE OTHERS AGAINST ME. but NO, AFTER GOING THROUGH THE LIST OF WORTHLESS SLOP HE BUSIES HIMSELF WITH ON THE REPLAYERNET, i find THE SOURCE: you. GIVING IRRESPONSIBLE ADVICE ABOUT A SITUATION YOU KNOW nothing OF, AFTER HEARING ONLY ONE SIDE OF THE STORY.

as THE witch OF hope, IT WAS CLEAR TO ME THAT HE WAS MY FAMILIAR. a BEAST TO BE TAMED. i do NOT CARE THAT witch FAMILIAR THEORY IS DEBATED, i do NOT CARE IF YOU BELIEVE IT, AND i certainly DO NOT CARE THAT IT WAS NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE MENTIONED IN THAT sburb glitch faq THAT HE ALWAYS RAMBLES ABOUT AND YOU AND THE REST OF THE REPLAYERNET SEEM TO TAKE AS GOSPEL. i could FEEL IT. controlling HIM WAS MY ONLY "hope", AFTER ALL, AND WAS MY REWARD FOR MAKING IT THROUGH MY FIRST SESSION WITH HIM.

and IN YOU COME, TOSSING WRENCHES INTO MY PERFECTLY OILED MACHINE. THAT SESSION WAS hell FOR ME AFTER YOU GAVE HIM THE UNEARNED CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK HIS EVIL WORDS, AS HAS BEEN EACH ONE SINCE.

i sacrifice SO MUCH, EVERY SESSION, ALL FOR THE SAKE OF MY COPLAYERS. what DOES HE SACRIFICE? nothing. because HE IS A SELFISH, ENTITLED, destructive LITTLE brat, AND YOU HAVE ENABLED HIM THINKING THAT HE HAS A PLACE AMONG OUR IGNORANT INNOCENT HUMAN AND TROLL COPLAYERS WHO DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

but OF COURSE, YOU TOO ARE A HUMAN. your EMOTIONS AND CAPACITY FOR LOVE AND COMPASSION WILL ALWAYS BE GREATER THAN A CHERUB'S (THIS IS NOT RACISM AGAINST MY OWN KIND, IT IS fact), SO IT'S EASY TO SEE HOW YOU WERE SO EASILY MANIPULATED. i shall FORGIVE YOU THIS ONCE. but YOU MUST MAKE UP FOR YOUR MISTAKE AND tell me HOW TO FIX THIS, AND PUT HIM BACK IN HIS PROPER PLACE.

Have you considered a hobby? There's all sorts of content out there on the replayernet not relating to SBURB. Having something to do on your downtime can really help you level out and get away from the stress of the game.

Maybe knitting is a good one. I know you and your brother share a body, so maybe a sweater that has little designs that both you and he like? Or if it wouldn't flow well, something double-sided so you can just turn it around/inside out and it looks completely different. I think that would be cute.

[gacmediadaily]

Dan Merchant is a veteran writer, producer, director best known for SyFy’s Z Nation and his documentary feature Lord, Save Us From Your Followers. His latest series Going Home is produced in association with Sony AFFIRM Originals for Great American Pure Flix. 

We don’t like to talk about death in America. Oh sure, we’re fine with death in our entertainment so long as we don’t have to talk about it. We sit entranced as our favorite TV doctors valiantly battle the ultimate foe with Hail Mary surgical procedures and impassioned cries of “Get me 10cc’s of morphine. Stat!” Every existential threat is met with aggressive, decisive action rather than contemplation for as every TV viewer knows there is no greater shame for the TV doctor than to lose a patient (especially one portrayed by a featured guest star). 

That was my conclusion, anyway. Now, my family didn’t do any better when it came to acknowledging death. We didn’t talk about it, even when people died. I grew up going to church and I’d heard talk of heaven but the “Auntie Marge is in a better place now” party line was contradicted by the sad faces and somber mood at her funeral. Puzzling. But at the age of 8, television provided valuable illumination when PBS aired Monty Python’s “Dead Parrot” sketch: I soon understood Auntie Marge was “no more, has ceased to be, expired and gone to see her maker.” She was, indeed, an “ex-aunt.” Eavesdropping on Michael Palin and John Cleese as they debated death was oddly reassuring and, on quiet nights, I still catch myself “pining for the Fjords.”

Fast forward to present day, I now have the pleasure of talking about death at work every day. The conversations are startling, refreshing and deeply meaningful. I should explain I’m not a grief counselor or a mortician, I’m the creator/showrunner of the tender drama Going Home which follows hospice nurse Charley Copeland (Northern Exposure’s Cynthia Geary) as she walks her clients “home” to their final reward. 

Now in our second season on Great American Pure Flix, Going Home may be the only medical drama in TV history NOT trying to save the patient and that is a surprisingly beautiful thing. At Going Home we talk about death a lot – and not just on screen. We talk about death in the writer’s room, at the table read, after the rehearsals, between takes, at the grip truck, in the make-up room – it seems everybody has a story to share, obviously. We’ve all lost loved ones.  

And while it may sound counterintuitive, Going Home’s hospice stories give life. These stories of hope, grace and compassion are deeply rooted in our shared human experience which is, I think, why they’ve connected so profoundly with our audience. I feel humbled to be telling these kinds of stories, the ones that remind us that we are all the same. I once interviewed SNL legend and former U.S. senator Al Franken for a documentary and he told me: “I like to make entertainment that rewards the audience for understanding how human beings operate.” A worthy goal, right? 

After watching season five of Fargo, I think Noah Hawley would give an “amen” to that. Have you seen the finale? Damn! Spoiler alert: the closing thirty minutes is among the most impactful faith-based content I’ve ever seen. Deeply moving. Hawley earns it too, building all season to this inspiring, scandalous act of “turn the other cheek” forgiveness. The beauty is simply stunning, but that’s what stories of redemption do. Thanks Noah, well done.  

Now, I wish there was a better label than “faith-based.” It’s not very nuanced, which is a shame because it’s been a terrific season for faith-based entertainment; from the box office bonanza of Jim Caviezel’s Sound of Freedom to Dallas Jenkins’ The Chosen debuting their fourth season of the first-ever television series about the life of Jesus IN THEATERS (and THEN going to streaming and THEN to broadcast because, well, give the people what they want) and, finally, Amazon Studios has just announced a bold partnership with Jon Erwin’s The Wonder Project to create “universal stories of love, triumph and spirituality.” 

So, what does Amazon know? Amazon knows everything! They have dimensional consumer-based analytics and those analytics have affirmed what some of us storytellers already knew: there is a huge audience hungry for stories of love, forgiveness, reconciliation… and even death. These stories of hope put life into the world and remind us of who we are to be and, please remember, at the end of the story, love defeats hate. I know it’s true, I just watched it on a television show.

[kenobster]

At this point, I think it's common knowledge that I've been having a Time™, so I thought I'd take a second to appreciate the outpouring of support I've gotten from such wildly unexpected places. T_T <3

Quick sob story for context lol: my depression/anxiety often manifests as cynicism, paranoia, and resentment. I contain a vast amount of flaws, and when I'm pushed to my limits (as I have been lately), my flaws will fester and bleed and probably maim someone if I'm not careful. Therapy helps, but it's never been a cure. Unfortunately, the nature of this current depressive episode has caused an unusual (and largely self-imposed :/) inability to confide in my offline friends... meaning that I've sought a majority of support from here... a place of previously great unknown... And I'm so grateful... Because, in doing so, I came face-to-face with the world's Best, instead of the world's Worst, which probably saved me from some extremely ill-thought out feelings/decisions (I mean, not that I ever was or ever will be a saint lol... but I could have so easily become an even more massive bitch).

And like... I really do try to thank people individually, but I also feel that the sum of these individual thank-yous fails to capture their whole: an ordeal during which I've been reassured, again and again, that the world isn't entirely hostile... that human nature is, most often, compassionate and supportive and forgiving and kind... and that maybe I'm allowed to be loved, even by strangers.

So, in the interest of cycling these feelings forward: thank you all so very very much. For everything. <3 From the smallest act of kindness (i.e. comments on my self-pitying posts, even if only an emoji).... to the larger shows of compassion (i.e. directly messaged well wishes and/or patience when I don't respond for days). From an incredibly altruistic act of service (i.e. a job hunt for a stranger purely by virtual of a mutual friend T_T).... to quite possibly the most committed act of care I've ever been lucky enough to receive (i.e. a month-long campaign of comforting me through my daily and increasingly bitter complaints about life <3 <3). Anyway, y'all know who you are, and I could thank you again and again and it still wouldn't be enough.

I hope everyone (especially everyone who supported me) gets a little extra boost in their step from knowing their kindness mattered/matters. And from knowing that there really is a lot of good in the world and that you all are a big part of it. :) <3

[the-mortifying-ordeal-of]

"I just, I just wanna feel good"

she begs, smoking and doping and fucking and numbing.

Babes, you know what feels good. You've been writing about it and fighting for it for years. Don't try harder, try softer. Get into your body, find your tapas, sweat and breathe. Touch your face, hold a palm to your heart, allow the tears. Believe in yourself, trust the process, drink water and eat plants and fill your freezer with whole meals. Go to bed early and wake up early. Move and listen: you have two ears, one mouth. Read your literature and live into your program. Try, forgive, let go, love, try again. You are beautiful and fierce and true. I love you and I'm listening, remember? Keep forgetting, because you're only human, but keep remembering and saying hello to your old friends. Hold space, feel it all, move through it, rest. Say thank you. Mean it. Laugh and be honest and know you belong, know they all belong here with you, too. You're not lost, not too far from home. I have intuition and wisdom and everything I need. I can say no and have it mean nothing about other people, nothing about my worth, and still say no. I can be perfect and broken, repaired with gold, whole in awe, divine love and messy simplicity. I can't be everything but thank god; I do trust the process. I know I belong here. You eat the elephant one bite at a time.

(I'm so scared. I'm so small. I feel wrong, overwhelmed, mortified, so so scared. I feel so cold and alone and tired. I feel violent, messy, contemptible. I'm sorry all the time, not enough, too much, dishonest and disoriented and wrong wrong wrong.)

Who cares what my stories are? They're just thoughts, just stories, just beliefs that I feed. Wouldn't I rather believe a beautiful story? Wouldn't I rather be wrong and happy, naïve and loving, imperfect but present? What if I am meeting expectations, or what if the expectations have nothing to do with me? What do I owe other people? What do I owe myself?

My dad thought himself into his grave, couldn't think his way into recovery. His notebooks were so much like my blogs, cosmic wrestling with sin and grace, mind and spirit. It killed him. He couldn't ego his way out of ego. His fatal blood is in me, her brutal superficiality keeps me bound. This isn't how it happens, something whispers to me from off-stage. This isn't my story. I'm fighting to love better, love bigger, and take me with me. I can be whole, I can be hope, I can do this. I'm doing it, I've been doing it, I'm so proud of you. It's been so hard but so beautiful.

Last night I was washed in a sense memory of being in our original studio, those community center partitions, the sounds of little kid karate during savasana, pushing myself and crying from frustration and laughing when I would have previously screamed, trying when I would have previously quit, finding myself. I loved the chair wall, loved the clock wall, loved the small talk as we packed up and the debriefs driving home. I loved being seen and believed in, building our community, always rolling on my side to extend a pointed foot to nudge you. I can't roll on my side anymore, still feel your absence, but it had been so long since I looked to the past with love. I loved those rooms. They saved me. I'm saved, ever-balancing, and I can carry all that with me. That was a true thing, a real thing.

My throat feels so tight. I feel like I've slipped from grace, lost my way. I know better and I'm not doing better. It doesn't feel better. It feels vastly more complicated. This too this too this too I remind myself, but it doesn't feel real. I feel like I'm languishing, muddling through, truckin' along but not fully alive. I'm an ant gnawing at saran wrap. I know what I'm supposed to be doing but I've lost my drive, lost my serenity, ever out of touch with my self-love, loving-kindness, compassion. I'm so scared at work. I'm so scared of sex. I want to stay home and get fucked up and read escapism romance. I cannot stop smoking. I feel stuck. That gallon and a half of cabbage hasn't fixed me. I don't have as much money as I'd like. I don't feel capable. I'm cold and scared and I feel like a burden, because I'm meant to be the healed healer, the recovery advocate, the mental health champion and evidence-based-practice poster child. I schedule my salads and can quote so many interventions, and yet I am without ritual, without tether, the center cannot hold. I'm so easily distracted, fatigued, overwhelmed, despairing. Ever-annoyed with my own shit, a common refrain. My thoughts a bad neighborhood, my own company toxic. I know how to fix this, and I don't, haven't yet.

You've lost the thread, babe. Do the next right thing. Urge surf. Use your resources. Be honest, tell the whole truth, be a beginner, breathe, soften, trust, love, move, laugh, rest, try. You can do this. You've done it so many times before and come so far. You haven't lost that progress. Inner peace, motherfucker. You can always wake up, always remember, always start again. You're not bad at this, not bad at all.

(What would it be like if I told her no all the time? Genuinely said no, had her hear my no? Would I want it? What would be left? Try it more, please. Say no. You won't be too small, you won't be too boring. Please say no all the time. Prune and burn and purify, love; you'll still be here when it's all gone. You can say no and breathe in the space you create. Try it please? For me? You have no idea what beauty and capacity the future holds for you, but I think it starts with saying no to what isn't working. You don't have to know what works, first. Just say no when you feel no, know no. You're okay, I promise. I'm here for you. You're so good and you can say no as much as you need to. You're resilient and loyal and honest and capable, AND you can say no. You aren't a quitter, aren't a princess. Those are old stories. Breathe into your no and feel how safe and good we are.)

We'll figure out work. There is so much need in the world, I have so many resources, and I have so many gifts, so many ways I feel flow above the line. Money will be okay. I have enough, and know how to survive and thrive. There is enough for everyone. We can figure this out. I'm not alone.

Action items: meditate? drink water. take benadryl to get back on a sleep schedule. listen to podcasts or audiobooks and do sudoku before bed? deal with the rest tomorrow. <3