#do you guys not realize how dehumanizing and disrespectful it is

[slytherinshua]

begging for bonedo x babyfever gf!reader ( texts or written wthr you like idc ) if you still writing for boynextdoor though 🙏🏻🙏🏻

i was actually excited to write this but seeing that its a request you also sent to other writers i'm not gonna do it anymore...

[mischief-night-ghost]

(plz read to the end bc my thought process is strange. Try not to take things out of context, I try my best to be clear)

I also feel this way. I simply just wanna understand. But within social circles, saying something like "I'm a trans guy, but a lesbian" doesn't make sense to me.. as a trans guy.

It is one of those moments where it must be realized that if you purposefully contradict a label that was put in place to make things LESS confusing for people who already didn't understand it, then you are taking away that understandability, which then follows with the group as a whole being disrespected and dehumanized.

I never want to invalidate experiences, ever. Never something I wanna do, but I have been told that because I say, "well, you saying you're a lesbian, but not in any form identifying yourself as a woman/femme aligned, does not make sense in the context that the words is to be used."... That I have internalized homophobia and transphobia...

But.. I don't.. I, personally, describe myself as a gay-demisexual man, specifically because if I had to pick one, I am the most attracted to other men. HOWEVER, I always make a note that if I fall in love with someone in general, their gender identity isn't going to inhibit that from me.

That being said... I simply just need this trend to be explained to me in baby words because im tired of asking for clarification, because I wanna learn more about it, but then just get a big "you're a bigot" sticker slapped on my forehead like it's an answer.

(I find the ppl that do that more often than not are ppl that are currently in 2024 in the age range of 18-22 specifically. Bc 23-24 year olds [I.e. my age] are all confused on how this contradictory labelling works, bc it is confusing.)

It also doesn't help that I have autism which makes all these social implications harder for me.

"mspec lesbians arent valid" "lesboys arent valid" "lesbian is woman liking only women" how about you shut up and we all kiss

[deaneverafter]

Insulting Jensen because you erroneously think it hypes up Danneel is not the woke feminism some of you seem to think it is. Insulting him is in no way a compliment to her, like some of you seem to think it inherently is and it is possible to say something nice about her without demeaning him. It is possible, it is allowed, it's the only polite thing to do. And if in some bizarro world, it was a compliment to her to insult him, that would still not make it okay to degrade and demean him the way this fandom does, it would still be awful and wrong, and not only would you be not a fan of his for disrespecting him like that, you'd also just be a really bad person, because he doesn't deserve that, not as a celebrity but on a basic level, as a person

[beomglocks]

in the morning ; k.th

summary : taehyun tries to keep you safe from the world’s wandering eyes.

pairing : yandere!taehyun x “captive” s/o!reader

warnings & other : angst (?), blood, there’s a dead person, yes the body is described (not in too much detail), enclosed spaces, dehumanization (?), honestly ignore the title i didnt know what to call this

w/c : 1.7k

your bedroom door creaks open allowing a sliver of light to shine onto your bed and down on to your face. you scrunch your face in frustration but merely turn over to face the wall to continue your peaceful slumber.

a finger pokes at your face annoyingly and you swat at it to leave you alone. "my love, wake up," you hear someone whisper.

you groan but make no indications that you'll be listening to the annoying voice in your head. you feel something cold drift across your face and down your neck which makes you shiver. when you bring your hand up to your neck to pull it away, you flinch and sit up quickly.

"ow!" you inspect your hand which now has a large bleeding gash from gripping whatever was on your neck. now that you're semi fully awake, you look up to see taehyun. great, he's back from doing whatever it is he does at this godforsaken time. you wonder if it's a normal day when he's home but no- you know there's a reason why he's in your room right now.

"i wouldn't have gripped that like that if i were you," he snickers playfully. you look down at what he's holding and frown at him. "what...did you put a knife to my neck?" crazy bastard, you knew something would go wrong whenever he was within 10 centimeters of you.

"had to wake up the sleeping beauty somehow," he grins. his face immediately goes stony and he grabs your hand, looking at the aftermath of his actions. it scares you how quickly he could change his expression. sometimes you weren't sure how to act around him because you weren't sure how he would react.

"im sorry though, i'll clean it up right away." he quickly gets up and grabs some alcohol and tissues that are laying around, and rushes back to you.

"so no light today?" you ask quietly while he cleans the wound skillfully. he stays quiet for a moment and you're about to ask him the question again in case he didn't hear you but he soon speaks up.

"n-no not today.. i don't wanna be seen like this. it could scare you," he laughs dryly. he scrubs your hands with more haste now, afraid that you'll take initiative to turn on the lights.

you sigh. how considerate of him however it's not like you haven't seen him with blood splattered across his glass skin before. it wasn't out of the ordinary to see him like this after all. your room only has a tiny window above the bed and you couldn't even look out from it since it was too high. the only light that was available to you was the moonlight. unfortunely it didn't even reach far enough to shine down on taehyun to give you the luck of seeing him.

"when are you going to stop this?" you ask mostly to yourself. "i'll stop when it gets through people's heads that you're mine."

he grips your injured hand as the anger of what he had to witness today comes rushing back to his memories. "t-tae my hand," you wince.

he loosens his grip just a little bit, enough for you to not feel that much pain but obviously, it still hurts. god, you really wish he wasn't here right now.

"why...why did he- it's his fault you know. it's not like i wanted to kill him," he says. you can hear the anxiety in his voice and it makes you want to comfort him a little bit. only a small part of your brain feels bad for his current mental state but that's only because of how kind taehyun was to you way before well- this. somewhere in you, you hope that he will change but you know he's too far gone at this point.

"he had it coming though," taehyun smiles, looking down at your wound. "he should've known not to mess with other people's property." you clench your jaw at his words. it's unfortunate how taehyun doesn't see you as a human anymore, only an object for him to keep enclosed in a glass case, like some china doll.

"you're not entirely innocent y/n," he grits. he grips your hand purposely and you let a tear roll down your face now. "taehyun you're hurting me," you manage to choke out. he pouts mockingly at your plea.

"you hurt me and you hurt that guy i had to kill," he says in a matter of fact tone. "when he said hi you should've just kept your mouth shut but no you just had to make conversation and let him hug you like some-"

he cuts himself off before he can say something that he might have to force himself to apologize for later. you both sit in silence minus your ragged breaths mixed with his heavy ones.

"you killed him," he says simply. "what?" you breathe out. "you killed him y/n! if you had just focused on me like i focus on you then i wouldn't have been forced to kill him like i did."

"taehyun i-"

"go say sorry," he sighs. you look at him bewildered but it only takes you a moment to realize what he means. "taehyun," you sob. you don't want to say that you can't believe he brought a dead body home but the sad fact is that you can believe it. he mustve had no where to hide it once he was done. taehyun is not one to make empty threats. he chuckles, shaking his head, "go say sorry to your friend."

he tries to pull you from the bed but you cling onto the bedsheets, adamant about not moving. "what so now you don't want to give him the time of day? earlier you seemed just so over the damn moon speaking with him!" he shouts.

you shake your head frantically. you want to speak, to reason with him, but nothing comes out your mouth other than choked sobs. "don't be like that, it's for your own good. now let's go," he says.

this time he uses all his force to rip you from your hold on the bed. "my love...im gonna teach you something about respect," taehyun speaks lowly. his monotone voice sends chills throughout your frigid body. you kick and scream and punch his back, hoping that you can shake him enough to let you go but nothing you do phases him.

he walks through the house with you slung over his shoulder for about a minute before stopping in front of the jacket closet. he sets you down as gently as he can in front of it and you stare blankly at it, not ready to face whatever is inside.

"it goes both ways," he finishes. you hesitantly look up at him, finally seeing his face for the first time since earlier today. you flinch when you notice just how much blood is scattered over his face. the kill must've been brutal enough to send that many splatters of blood flying.

"don't look at me, look at him. don't be disrespectful," he says. when you turn back towards the closet you flinch harshly at the sight. the guy whom you spoke to earlier was now slumped over in your closet. you remember how lively he was when speaking to you but now his skin was completely drained of life and pale in color. his lips were dry, probably from trying to heave in air to try to live. you're afraid to further gaze at the body because the further down you go the worse it gets. so much so that it's practically dosed in blood.

"say it, say you're sorry!" he commands. you know that you're not really saying sorry to the dead man in your closet. taehyun wants you to say sorry to him. you know he couldn't care less about this man. he wants you to regret putting him in the position to kill another human being.

"i-im- im-" taehyun sucks teeth impatiently. "if you don't say it naturally i will lock you in here all night. i don't want to do that so you better do it right."

a noise leaves your throat when he shoves you closer to the body. you whine, trying your best to control your voice and tears. "i-" your voice gets weak but you use every bit of force in you to say it. you don't wanna risk having to stay in that closet all night.

"im sorry," you blurt. you hear taehyun chuckle behind you, satisfied for now. "was that so hard?"

"y/n you're mine and only mine. i feel so livid when others so much as look in your direction, do you understand?" he says calmly. you nod, already wanting to be back in your bed, under the covers, away from all of this.

you hear taehyun hum and suddenly you're shoved into the closet. it catches you so off guard that your body slams into the dead one. you yell in panic and scramble as far away from it as possible. "taehyun! w-what's going on?!" you call out.

the closet is so dark when it's closed that you can't even see anything. atleast you know you're not near the body. "y/n- i-i'm doing this because i love you ok?" he says uncertainly. "this way no one can look at you or talk to you and try to seduce you."

you bang on the door, your heart beating with each slam. "p-please let me out," you plead weakly. you already know that once taehyun has done something he doesn't change his mind so it's no use trying to reason. "i-im scared- please."

he stays silent for a moment and you're about to burst into tears again thinking that he's already left but he speaks up after a couple beats of contemplative silence.

"don't be scared ok y/n. you'll be fine. i'm going to come back for you in the morning." he goes silent again and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and wet sniffles. "please don't be too mad at me, i love you," you hear him whisper before you hear his footsteps retreat.

the night is spent without much sleep and your fist pounding at the closet door, hoping for an early release but it never comes.

[suchalonelysunflower]

Over And Out (l.h)

End Up Here - Part 4

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x 5sos! Fem! Reader

Summary: A tour. A secret relationship. And rumors only grow...

Warnings: Angst, mild smut. Mentions of harassment, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, creepy men, jealousy, alcohol, cheating, fighting, sexism, and many frustrations. Language and some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 10k

Author’s Note: this is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever written, I believe. Next part will be up on March 14th. Remember that Reblogs, Fedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help me ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Series Materialist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3

Liked by michaelclifford, 5sosfan4eva and 1,573 others

lukehemmings and away and away we go ✈️

View all 347 comments

5sosfan4eva THEY ARE TOTALLY DATING

↪️ calumlovesash I hope they’re not 🤢 she was much better with Madden or Josh. At least they’re famous

yn5sos I’m changing seats with Michael

↪️ lukehemmings @yn5sos 🥺

*

@5sos EUROPE ARE YOU READY?!

“I can’t believe we’re already here!” Y/N cheered as they got to the hotel.

It’s been a month on the road already and they finally had a few days to rest before traveling to yet another destination. They had the idea of doing a tour to promote not only their new singles and tease the album release that’s bound to happen next year, and it ended up being one of the most incredible ideas they had after spending almost a year without doing shows.

They started with a small tour in Europe, then they will move on back home in Australia for a couple of shows, and then the big finale in the United States where most of their shows were already sold out. By that time, the fans would’ve already listened to the new songs and be even more hyped for the new album.

Luke was the newbie on tour, this not being the first time he traveled away from home, but the first time he did it with people he cared about. He was having the time of his life with Y/N, the boys, and their s.o. It all felt like a dream. He was actually living the life of a rockstar on his summer break, even if most of the things they did they had to keep it a secret.

When Y/N invited Luke on tour there was no way he would’ve said no to her - not just because he pretty much can’t say no to her, but that’s another story.

She said she wanted to take it slow and that was exactly what they were doing. They didn’t put a label on whatever they had going on, but rather they enjoyed the moment stealing kisses and nights whenever they could.

They would sneak out into each other's rooms late at night, longing to be closer. They would spend hours upon hours tangled in the sheets, loving each other and sharing whatever was on their minds at the time. Making those moments their own amid their borrowed time between destinations. A moment for the two of them.

Luke found it weird at the beginning; hiding their relationship from the world until it became official. But these last few months he could see a change in Y/N, she seemed happier, more open to talking about her feelings and her past. He understood that this was important to her, to live a normal life until she feels ready to share it.

If time is what she needed, time is what she’ll get.

The boys and their girlfriends were all supportive. They too understood the importance of keeping some things private as well as the changes in Y/N’s behavior. They were all happy to see their friend back, just in time for tour.

But it was almost impossible to control what was put in the media. The fans already know who Luke is and that he spends a lot of time with the members of their favorite band. They speculate about his relationship with Y/N, creating rumors that even though he wants to, he can’t confirm nor deny. And when it came to the media outlets, those were much, much worse.

They didn’t say much about him “The privilege of being normal” Said Calum once. But they did have a lot to say about Y/N…

“Y/N L/N is back at it again with a new man?!”

“No tears this time? Y/N L/N Caught smiling and getting cuddly with a member of her team! Can she mix work and pleasure?”

“Serial heartthrob Y/N L/N seen with other men while still refusing to talk about her most recent break-up? Sounds fishy to me!”

“What was she thinking?! Y/N L/N was spotted in an outing with his “new friend” wearing very thin shorts and a crop top. Not so family-friendly apparently”

Horrible things were written about her every day but she ignored them as if they didn’t exist. Luke wished he could do the same.

Every little article, tweet, or comment about Y/N made his blood boil. It was clear that they were completely made up to be some “big news” when the reality was far from that and they kept disrespecting them and their relationship even if it was still on the down-low.

But Luke could not stop reading them. It was addictive how he couldn’t resist clicking on her name every time it popped out, not because of some morbid reasoning behind it, but because those articles seemed to know more about Y/N than Luke himself. People kept talking about a past he didn’t know she had. Were those made up as well? Or are they based on reality? Would he be able to know the difference?

Truth was, he couldn’t. He loves Y/N blindly, he got to know her in one of the most genuine ways but it feels like that is not enough. It’s almost like she is living a secret life he doesn’t get to know.

He wonders when it will end. This seemingly permanent stage of seating on the sidewalk, waiting for the light to turn green so they could walk freely into their relationship. Where people will support them, respect her and let them be happy. But that could never happen when she’s the one who doesn’t want to move.

Luke respects that she is not ready to talk, as she said time and time again. But he just couldn’t comprehend how she, right now, could be so at peace while her name is thrown through the mud and back. Smiling with the boys as they take pictures for promo while management arranges the check-in. Does she not know what they are saying about her or she just accepts it without any retribution?

He was asking himself all these questions as he watched her so happy, his mind tormenting him with a dark cloud over their sunny day. He wants to protect her, but he doesn’t know how or if she would even let him.

And yes, maybe that was selfish of him. Banging on a closed-door with his heart in his hands. But what about the person with the key and the lock? Aren't they a little bit selfish too?

“Hey!” He heard Kat said as she sat beside him, nudging her shoulder against his.

Luke turned to her, his eyebrow still locked in a frown as he muttered a little “hey”

The blonde girl scrunched her nose at him “Yikes, what's happening that it has you all worked up, buddy?”

Luke pressed his lips on a thin line as his eyes traveled back at Y/N. She was laughing at something Ashton had said when she turned to look at him.

Y/N smiled, winking at him as she waved. Luke stared at her for a while, a small smile playing on his lips as he raised his hand in acknowledgment. He could feel his heart skipping a beat every time their eyes met, but the dark feelings in his mind made his expression turn sour the moment Y/N turned around again, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the girl sitting next to him.

“You read them again, didn’t you?” Kat asked, already knowing the answer just by looking at how his shoulders tensed the moment she asked it.

They were all aware of the tabloids and the stories, being a regular occurrence to them, but not for Luke. They all knew this was new to him as well and how overwhelming it might be. So they all tried to ground him as much as possible, not letting him get affected by it as he had before.

“Now why are they saying that?!” He spat as he threw his cellphone on the leather couch, calling the boy's attention.

It was a normal day at the studio. They were all getting lunch as they laid back in the break room while Y/N and their girls went out to get them coffee.

Calum was the first one to speak, confused by his friend's sudden outburst “Uh, what exactly? And who?”

“This!” He said, grabbing his phone and tossing it at Calum. The rest of the boys gathered around as Luke plopped himself down on the couch.

Ashton began to read out loud “Seeing the growing rumors of Y/N’s mystery man, here’s a list of every guy we wished would date her”

“Okay that’s fucked up,” Michael said, swallowing his food.

“It’s better than the last one…”

“What?!” Luke asked, outraged that there are worse things out there.

“Dude, chill,” Calum said, “We understand this is beyond fucked, especially now that you’re dating or whatever. But you getting this angry at it won’t solve anything”

“Won’t solve anything?!” He said in a loud tone “That’s my girl they’re talking about. My girl dating other guys while she’s with me!”

“But they don’t know that,” Michael argued.

Luke shook his head, taking his phone back from Calum’s hands as he started typing furiously.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?! Letting them know that they can go fuck themselves” Luke answered, eyes still on the phone, a second away from pressing send before Calum snatched his phone.

“No!” He said “You are not going to out your relationship without her consent!”

“But-“

“Plus, I already took care of it,” Ashton said, holding his phone up “I tweeted at them telling them how incredibly disrespectful they’re being, now the fans are onto them and I already messaged management to deal with it”

“And that’s it?” Luke’s eyes winded “That’s all you’re gonna do?”

“That’s all we can do right now,” Ashton said with a sigh, sitting next to it “We know these situations suck, they’re horrible and dehumanizing and we are glad more people are realizing just how shitty the media is. But if we respond to every rumor there is it’s going to be a never endless battle, it’s going to backfire. We know, we tried”

“But all the stories are aimed against her” Luke said, running a hand through his face with frustration clear in his eyes “She didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Why do you think that is?” Michael chimed in “Think about Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears… They aim for women because they think are easy to kill”

“Which they’re not. It makes them stronger somehow. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if I was them” Calum said “Women are stronger than you think when it comes to this, Y/N included”

“We’ve been living with this kind of shit show for years. We defended her with knives and teeth, dragging every single outlet that posted something against her. But that shit only made it worse for her”

“They loved the attention they were receiving” Ashton’s voices laid with sarcasm “Every interaction we had they profited from it, creating even more rumors, one worse than the other, just so they could have the clicks. Eventually, Y/N asked us to stop defending her publicly and she decided to ignore it altogether”

“But we still fight for her, though. We flag the post, demand they take it down, talk to PR and management for damage control, and even sue for defamation a couple of times. She’s never got to go through any of that on her own, we wouldn’t have allowed it”

“And what am I supposed to do, then?” Luke asked, a mix of frustration and desperation filled his voice “Just do nothing?”

“Be there for her” Calum answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world “Support her. Love her. Comfort her. Whatever she needs. She’s a strong woman, one of the strongest we know. But there will come a time when she will have to lean on someone, and you have to be there and ready for her. She trusts you. Don’t let her down”

Kath placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder, understanding the man’s pain.

“I just-“ He said with a sigh “She never reads them, you know? The articles. But I do, I can’t help it. They seem to know more about her than me and that’s just-“

“Fucked?”

“Yeah,” He said as he took a long breath “I don’t know… I’m trying. This is all very new to me and she’s a professional at dealing with this kind of shit. But at the same time, she never tells me anything, how she feels about them or if they’re real or not. It’s fucking me up”

Kat hummed “And I assume you don’t ask her about it either”

The girl crooked an eyebrow at Luke, seemingly seeing through him “I- I don’t want to push”

She sighed and patted his shoulder “Let me tell you something, Luke. From girlfriend of a celebrity to the boyfriend of a celebrity” She started, earning Luke’s complete attention “When I started dating Calum we decided to keep it private, out of the eyes of the media and even from some of his friends. It was good at the beginning, great even! But the heart is ambitious and it always ends up wanting more. We fought a lot during those times, part of us wanting to hold on to what we had but at the same time longing for some kind of freedom. In the end, we did end up going public, as you know. We endure a lot of hate, we still do. But we knew what we were up against, you’re still trying to figure that out. But I’m telling you to know there is something you’re lacking”

“And what is that?” Luke asked with curiosity.

“Communication” Kat smiled sweetly at him “How do you expect to reach a meeting point while you’re sitting here in your own dark cloud and she’s over there with no clue of what’s happening with you and vice versa?”

The blonde girl got up from her seat next to him, giving him one last piece of advice before walking towards Calum “Don’t give up before you try. No one said it was going to be easy but, it’s your choice to see if it’s worth it”

Luke watched her walk away, rousing her arms around Calum’s waist as she smiled sweetly at him, giving him a small peck. Luke smiled at their love.

He thought about their friends, how in love they are with their partners and how free they are to love publicly, facing the retaliations of being in the public eye. But they seemed happy, they were happy. And he realized he wanted that for him and Y/N.

His mind drifted off to the possibility of going public, cleaning the air once and for all. No more “mysterious guy” or “Y/N’s possible secret lover” he’d be Luke Hemmings, the proud boyfriend of singer Y/N L/N. They could be happier, free. They could fight those rumors together and face the stormy weather that would come. He’d defend her until the end of times, protecting her with his life and supporting her in everything she does. He wanted that for them. But it wasn’t his sole choice to make.

“Babe!” He heard Y/N call.

She was walking up to him, a playful smile on her face as the nickname rolled off her tongue. She was wearing one of his hoodies, making her look small as she approached him.

He noticed that her eyes were shining, lately, they always did and he couldn’t get enough of them. He could get lost in her eyes willingly, throwing away the map and making himself home.

He loved her. Oh, he was so in love with her he didn’t even know what to do. The more he thought about it, the more sure he was about wanting to love her freely. He just wished she thought about it too.

“I got our keys” She smiled, pulling two cards out of her back pocket.

“Oh?” Luke asked playfully with a grin drawn into his face “And where am I supposed to sleep this week?”

In order not to create any suspicion about their relationship, they decided that Luke will have his own hotel room on tour - even though everyone knows that’s not where he sleeps or where he wakes up in the mornings. Usually “Luke’s room” is used to store the extra luggage they carry.

Y/N fake pouted “Sadly, Mr. Hemmings. Your room is at the other end of the hall”

Luke gasped “That far away?! Is there any way I can be… closer?”

The girl bit her lip as she rounded her arm around his waist, standing on her tippy toes as she softly whispered in his ear “Let’s see what I can do about that, Sir”

Y/N giggled as she heard Luke let out a soft groan, pecking his cheek with a small kiss as she stood in front of him again “Baby, you’re going to be the death of me” He said, trying to get a hold of her by her waist. But she was quicker, swiftly moving a step back as she started walking towards the elevators. One last look over her shoulder got him grabbing their things as he followed her without any questions.

The elevator ride is quiet, the beating of their hearts being the soundtrack to their wait as they reached their floor. Y/N didn't look at him as she walked towards the door, unlocking it with one swift movement of the wrist and leaving it open for Luke to come in after her.

When he opened the door, she was nowhere in sight. He wondered if she hid somewhere, this not being the first time she would jump and scare the shit out of him. But then, his ears picked up a soft humming coming through the bathroom door, and with a devilish smile he let their luggage at the side of the closet, he locked the door and made his way to her.

Y/N was humming one of her favorite songs when Luke caught her reflection in the mirror but she was not looking at him. She was putting some lotion in her hands, fingers tracing up until her upper arm with barely-there touches.

“Remember we have a party in a couple of hours, Hemmings,” She said when she felt him getting closer “We should get ready soon” He just hummed in agreement, not really paying attention to her words.

Softly, he placed his hands on either side of her hips, pulling her closer to him. Y/N kept ignoring him as she dried the excess of product out of her hands and it wasn’t until Luke pushed away some of her hair and started kissing along her neck that she finally gave him a proper response to his action.

Luke smirked as he felt her let out a shaky breath as his lips traced the shell of her ear, kissing it softly before moving lower and lower, kissing and sucking on her skin as slow as he could, making her tremble under his touch.

“Luke,” She said, holding her breath as she felt his calloused hands travel under the hoodie she was wearing. His hoodie. The one that always smelt like him.

“Hmm?” He asked, not stopping his movements for a second.

“We- uhm” The girl stuttered in a whisper when his hands started touching her over her bra, softly rolling over the nipples and making them hard “We should - oh - we should start getting ready soon”

“We should, huh?” He asked, voice raspy and low “It will be rude to go a little bit late. Wouldn’t it?”

Y/N let out a sigh when his hands left her breasts, trying to regain her breath before she lost it all over again when his fingers started playing with the hem of her jeans.

His fingers wandered carefully, fiddling with the button and zipper until they weren’t an issue. His lips grazed her neck up and down, kissing it softly as his fingertips finally reached her center.

She let out a soft moan when she felt him over her panties, tracing her lips over them and feeling her arousal “I’m sure they could wait a little bit longer” He said as he pressed a finger to her clit over the fabric “We need to take care of a few problems before that, don’t you think?”

He pressed his hips onto her, a soft whimper escaping her mouth when she felt his growing erection against her.

“So wet for me, my love” He groaned as her hand flew to the top of his hair, trying to find balance as she tugged on his curls “Always so beautiful for me”

“Luke-“

He opened his eyes just in time to catch her staring at him through the mirror with a desperate look in her eyes. It took him less than a second to spin her around and press her against the countertop, ceasing his lips into her like she was his last meal on earth.

She tangled her hands behind his head, fingers deep into his hair as he grabbed her by the back of her thighs, easily lifting her off and taking her to the king-size bed where they made sure to lose track of time between kisses and moans as they satisfied their needs with each other, over and over again until they fell through the abyss of pleasure together, whispering sweet confessions as their breath went back to normal.

It was easy to say that they were the last ones to reach the lobby. What was hard for them to ignore was the knowing looks and teasing smiles from their friends that were waiting for them for a good amount of time.

“Don’t say anything” Y/N threatened Ashton as he opened his mouth. But he just laughed

“If you want Luke to walk around with his fly open then sure, I’ll keep my mouth shut”

*

The ride to the party was filled with laughter and chit-chats. They were all in a great mood to finally have a mini-break in between shows and what better way to celebrate it than at a big party?

Luke stole glances from Y/N as she talked to Bethany. She looked beautiful with her black dress, making Luke proud and a little bit snug about him being the one who would take her home afterward.

But he knew that after tonight they needed to talk. And not “talk” like they usually do. No, this time he was going to express his concerns to her, his hopes for them, and confess his love for her over and over again. He wanted her to know how he feels, he needed to know where they stand and what she needs to feel more comfortable and what he can do to help her feel at ease.

He just needs reassurance, something to hold on to while he provides the same for her. In the end, he knew they would be okay.

After a few minutes, they reached the house of the host. Luke marveled at the mansion that stood proudly in front of him. When Y/N mentioned a party with some label associates, she never mentioned that the party was going to be hosted by the president and owner of the label.

He felt Y/N tug on his hand a couple of times before separating herself from him and going to stand next to the girls.

For a moment Luke forgot that they needed to keep appearances and couldn’t be together romantically in public. He could feel his heart aching as he watched her walk away with her friends, laughing together as they stepped into the party.

“Hey,” Michael said behind him, following the eyes of the sad man next to him “It’s just one night”

He tried to be comforting, but all Luke could wonder was: Would it be just for a night?

The party was wild. That’s the first thought everyone has in their minds as they step through those doors into a world of darkness mixed with neon lights, smoke machines, and three open bars scattered around the hall. People were separated into groups: The ones who were too drunk to stop dancing, the ones not drunk enough to start dancing, and the ones who were networking their way into the industry.

Everyone that was someone was at that party. Producers, artists, songwriters, performers, agents… You name it. It was a party for the big leagues and Luke could not help but feel out of place the moment he stepped foot into the scene.

“Hey! 5 Seconds of Summer. C’mere!” A voice called over the music.

Standing not too far from them there was a man, his bald head shined under the lights as he held a drink to his lips, beckoning the band to come over.

Y/N and the guys started walking towards the man without a second to wait, leaving Luke and their girlfriends to witness the interaction from afar.

“Who’s that?” Asked Luke, getting closer to Danielle as they watched their partners laugh with a bunch of men who were now surrounding the band.

“That’s Anthony Kellinghs” She answered, swiftly grabbing a drink from one of the trays carried by the passing waitresses “He’s one of the big bosses in the industry. Ashton said his team approached them not too long ago to see if they would be interested in changing labels and work with them”

Luke glanced back to the group. Y/N was standing next to Calum, talking about something that made Anthony smile even though her face was serious. He did not like the way that man was looking at her.

Anthony laughed loudly, making other guests turn his face towards them. Y/N and the boys shared a confused gaze as they laughed awkwardly along with him. The bald man kept laughing, clearly intoxicated as he lowered his hand and rounded his arm around Y/N’s waist.

Luke’s breath got caught in his lungs as he watched how Y/N’s body movements came to a halt and her eyes widened in discomfort, her smile seemed stiff but she didn't stop laughing or talking to the guy. Luke could feel his blood boil as he watched his girl in the arms of someone else, acting like nothing was happening and that everything was fine, in front of him.

“What the fuck?” He muttered under his breath. Debating on whether he should go and punch that dude in the face. No matter how important he was in the industry, he wanted him away from Y/N immediately.

But he didn’t move and neither did Y/N. Luke didn’t know if it was because she physically couldn’t or because…

No, he rejected that thought immediately. It was clear to him by her eyes that she was desperate to get away from his touch. And apparently not only to him because the moment that man put his hands around her Ashton and Michael called his attention away from her, moving a few steps back so Y/N could have more space to free herself the moment she could. Calum had his eyes on her, too, with his arm placed to his side as if he were to take her away from there at any second.

Yet the man did not move an inch away from her. Instead, his hand trailed lower with every word he spoke, until Luke couldn’t see it anymore. All he could see what’s Y/N’s uncomfortable face as she suddenly jumped forward, fear written all over her eyes.

Luke let out a curse as he took a step forward, ready to beat that man’s face to dust. But he stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait!” Danielle said, eyes locked on the scene played in front of them.

Luke stared ahead and let out a breath of relief when he saw Calum taking Y/N away from the group and towards the bar, seemingly excusing themselves to get a drink. He saw how his friend’s arm rounded around her shoulders, making it impossible for her to look back and for anyone else to notice her face as they walked away with no intentions of coming back.

Luke lost sight of them as he watched them disappear into the party. “Good,” he thought “At least she’ll be safe and away from him” But that thought did not calm the rage he felt towards the creep that dared touch her in front of her friends.

“I’m going to kill him” He hissed, once again trying to step forwards but once again being pushed back by Ashton’s girl.

“The guys got it covered,” She said, her sweet voice laced with a warning as she whispered loud enough for only them to hear “They will handle it and make sure they never work with that man, ever. It’s not the first time this has happened”

“This happened before?!” Luke said, attracting some curious eyes to him. But he couldn’t care less about it at the moment.

The girls looked at each other and then at Luke. How could they explain to the man that this happens more times than Y/N would be able to admit? They knew first hand how the industry was full of creeps and disgusting men, having dealt with them in the past as well, but Y/N…

She was the front girl, the main focus of attention. She was beautiful, talented, hot… that’s all they saw, never caring about her caring personality, or how intelligent she was, how she was the driven force of 5SOS. She was more than her looks, she was a girl trying to live her dreams. But men only seem to see one thing.

“I’m going to check on them,” Kat said as she walked towards where Calum disappeared with Y/N. Bethany mentioned going to Michael to try and make them get away from the conversation they were still having with that fucker.

And Luke stood there, not able to do anything “Y/N wouldn’t want you to cause a scene, that’s why the boys never do it anymore. She knows how important image is for all of them and a scandal is the last thing they need right now. Especially if some “random dude” goes and punch one of the biggest names in the industry”

Danielle was right and he hated that. He hated that he couldn’t do anything to defend his girl because she didn’t want to be defended. But the fact that she knew how to handle these kinds of things didn’t make it any less wrong or difficult for him to ignore. More so because their relationship was still kept a secret.

Luke couldn’t help but think that maybe if people knew they were together, things like these wouldn’t happen. After all, the only thing men like Anthony respected was the presence of another man.

Ashton and Michael returned after a minute, both of them with their jaws clenched and eyes filled with the same feeling of powerless Luke felt.

“Where is she?” Ashton asked, standing beside Dani and holding her close by the waist, almost as if he were scared something might happen to her.

“Kat went to check on them, they still haven’t returned,” She said, comforting her boyfriend by running her hand up and down his arm.

“This is bullshit” Luke murmured, frustration lacing his voice as he grabbed one drink from one of the waitresses and drowned it in one go without flinching. He turned around and started walking away from the group.

“Where are you going?” Michael asked, half concerned and half furious from him walking away at this moment.

“I need air” He answered as he took another drink and walked through the garden doors. Not even sparing a glance back when Y/N called his name as she watched him go.

Luke spent most of the night going back and forwards between the main hall and the garden. He drank whatever was being offered to him and sat down on a bench as he watched the casual smokers come outside, accompanying him from a distance.

He knew he was being childish. He didn’t understand much about the industry, nor how people that worked in it were. All Luke knew was that Y/N was nothing like them; she was not greedy, nor was she a creep, she wasn’t evil or ill-hearted and she didn’t deserve what happened.

He wanted to be with her, apologize for his shitty behavior, and tell her that he loved her. Because he did. He loved her with all his heart and it hurts him to see her like that. But every time he stepped through those doors back to the main hall - every time more intoxicated than the others - she was nowhere to be found. Or she didn’t want to be found, but that didn’t stop Luke from looking for her.

And every time, wherever he found her, she would have company. Sometimes she would be with the boys and their girlfriends laughing along with some other group of people - usually men - that stood a little too close and personal with her. Other times she would be on her own, talking to some guy or girl he didn’t know, too preoccupied with her conversation to even notice Luke standing at a distance, looking at her with longing eyes as he tried to find the courage to talk to her.

Then, he would go back to the bar, order his drink and go back outside or with the group, tightening the grip on his glass as he watched the girl he loves being swept away in conversations he couldn’t be a part of, after all, he was just one of the composers and her friend. Nothing else.

The guys and their girlfriends tried to cheer him up, including him in conversations and inviting him to dance. They knew how new this was to him, having to remind themselves every once in a while when they caught his sad eyes dancing across the room on the looks of his fleeting love.

“She came looking for you a few minutes ago while you were outside,” Dani told him the third time he came by the group.

“Why didn’t she go out with me?” He asked, eyes on Y/N as she talked to Michael and one of the producers they met in London a few years back.

“She was going to,” Ashton chimed in “She walked over there but I think Niall caught wind of her and they started to catch up”

Luke clenched his jaw at the thought of Y/N with other men. His mind couldn’t help but to go back to all those articles about her exes, her possible new partners, her possible future partners. Cheating scandals, break-up songs, parties where she didn’t leave alone… All the things she refused to acknowledge came to the surface, hitting Luke in the face as he realized that they might not all be lies.

He hated to think about her that way, to think that he didn’t trust her enough or that she didn’t trust him enough or whatever the fuck was wrong with them. But as he saw how Y/N hugged a stranger, all his thoughts went out the window.

“Who is that?” He asked no one in particular.

“Who?” Bethany asked in response, following Luke’s stare towards her friend “Oh, that’s Josh”

“Josh? As in Josh Benthlow? Her ex?”

Beth furrowed her eyebrows as she saw the look of pure rage on the blonde���s eyes “Uh, yeah? But you got something wrong there” She said, “They never dated”

Y/N laughed at something Josh said, pushing him playfully on the shoulder as he kept telling his story. Luke recognized the look in his eyes; it was the same way he used to look at Y/N when they first met: Pure adoration. And, he didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his system that was making him see things that weren’t there, but he could swear he saw Y/N flirt back at him.

“Friends don’t act like that” He spat, taking another sip from his drink, already losing count of how many he had that night.

“Hey!” Beth called his attention, taking the drink from him “That’s enough now. Alcohol is making you act like a complete asshole”

“I-”

“I don’t care.” She said, interrupting whatever he had to say before he even said it “Look, I get that you’re getting used to all of this. But you need to stop with the jealous act right this instant. She’s famous, yes, they all are and that means that you will have to share her with the world whether you like it or not. It’s her dream after all, and besides Y/N would never do something like that to hurt you and you know it”

Did he?

Not long after the group decided to go back to the hotel, having already stayed at that party longer than necessary given that they have a show the next day. The ride back was quiet, everyone either being too tired to even speak or too smart to try and cut the tension that was being created by the new couple’s behavior. Even when Y/N sat next to Luke he didn’t acknowledge her, keeping his eyes looking outside the window the whole car ride.

Y/N was one of the first ones to get out of the car, walking up to the elevators and not waiting for anyone as the doors closed.

Luke clenched his jaw as he contemplated not going to their room tonight, fighting with the feeling of not wanting to see her and the feeling of never wanting to let her go.

“You need to go there right now,” Calum said, taking a step next to Luke but not looking in his eyes “Having been her friend for so long I can see that she’s upset… Nah, fuck that. Even idiots can see that she’s upset”

Luke scoffed “She’s the one that’s upset?” Voice laced with sarcasm.

Calum hummed “Guess not every idiot can see that” He pressed the button of the elevator and hoped in with Kat, not waiting for Luke as the door closed in his face, but not before saying “You’re not the only one hurting, you know?”

It took another 20 minutes for Luke to open the door of their room. Again, Y/N was nowhere to be seen, but the light coming from under the closed bathroom door let him know that she was there.

He sat at the edge of the bed, hands covering his face as he now wished he hadn't drunk as much as he did. His head was spinning, he couldn’t decipher if it were because of the alcohol or because of his intrusive thoughts that wouldn’t leave his head.

Y/N got out of the bathroom for what it felt like an eternity later. She was wearing her Spongebob pajama and her hair was tied in a messy bun. Her makeup-less face looked tired as she didn’t glance at Luke before sitting by her side of the bed.

They stayed in silence for another five minutes before she decided to speak.

“Are we going to talk about tonight?” She said, voice neutral of any emotion.

Luke scoffed “Now you want to talk?”

She ignored him “I didn’t see you all night, Luke. I was worried”

“Oh, you were?” He mocked with cruel sarcasm as he got up from the bed and started pacing around the room “Funny way to show it you weren’t around!”

“I wasn’t around?! Luke, you spent half the night outside! Every time I came over you were nowhere to be found!”

“And every time I was there you were too busy talking to other people”

“I was working, Luke!” She said with a groan, massaging her temple as she turned to look at him “It’s part of my job to make connections at these kinds of events. And if you didn’t notice, Calum, Ashton, and Michael did the same”

“Well, you must be pretty damn good at your job then!”

Y/N looked at him, shocked by the way he was speaking to her “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Luke was angry at her question. How could she not know? “Why don’t you ask Josh what I mean?”

“Oh my fucking GOD,” She said with the loudest tone he’s ever heard her talk “That’s what this is all about?! He’s a friend!”

“I was a friend, too and we still fucked!” Luke matched her tone of voice, probably waking the people in the room next to theirs.

Y/N laughed humorlessly “You have no right to-”

“And whose fault is that? Huh? Whose fault is that I cannot call you my girlfriend in front of other people? Whose fault is that I have to stand to the side and watch you flirt with every guy on earth just because “it’s your job”?” He asked “Y/N, I’m trying so hard for you to let me in and the only thing you do is push me away! Are you embarrassed by me in any way?”

“No,” She said, finally meeting his eyes and seeing no more anger in them, just an incredible sadness for both of them “No, of course not”

“Then why?” Luke asked, taking a step towards her and cupping her cheek with one hand “Why can’t you let me protect you? Why can’t I be with you freely? I know some things are hard for you to talk about, love. I get that. But I’m drowning here, not knowing what to think or what to say to make you trust me”

Y/N stayed quiet as she looked into his eyes before looking away. Luke sighed.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now. But we’ll have to do it eventually”

“I know,” She said with a string of voice.

“Sorry for the things I said”

“I’m sorry, too”

Luke wanted to kiss her, to comfort her. Even though he is still mad at her, he still has this need to protect her from the wrongs of the world. But she’s got to let him in first.

Instead, Luke placed a kiss on her head and walked towards the bathroom to get changed for the night. When he came back Y/N was already asleep on her side of the bed, her back turned to Luke’s side.

He let out a sigh as he turned off the lights, laying down facing the other side as he murmured a “Good night” Barely missing the soft sniff she gave in response.

The next morning Luke woke up without her by his side. He felt a tug in his heart as he remembered all the things he said to her, the cruel way in which he implied that it was all her fault when both of them had a bit of blame to put in their names. He wouldn’t be surprised if in the middle of the night she decided to leave and sleep somewhere else.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, ready to give her a call and apologize properly, hoping she’d pick up. But just as he was about to press the call button, the door opened.

Y/N walked in, sandwich and orange juice in hand. A small smile came to her lips when she saw him already awake.

“Hey,” She said softly, almost like if there were someone else in the room that was sleeping “You missed breakfast, so I bought you this. It’s now much but-“

“Thank you,” Luke said with complete honesty.

Y/N nodded, walking up to his nightstand to place the drink and the sandwich. But before she could walk away again, Luke grabbed her softly by the arm.

“Luke-“

“I’m sorry,” He said, his baby blue eyes looking into hers. He was sad to see no emotion in them compared with how shiny they were yesterday before the fight “I didn’t mean it”

Y/N let out a sigh as she sat on the bed next to him “No, you’re not” She said almost resignedly “And yes, you did. And it’s okay, I deserve it”

Luke shook his head, feeling even worse than before “No, Y/N I was out of place and-“

“You were, but that didn’t make your words any less than truthful. I hurt you, Luke. Even without wanting to” She said with a broken voice, but the tears didn’t come “But I want to change that. Tonight, we can talk after the concert. Okay?”

“I don’t want to pressure you” His hand flew to her face, placing a strand of hair behind her back. She smiled softly and kissed the palm of his hand.

“I know, but I want to” Finally, she got up from the bed and started walking into the bathroom, gathering some of her things. “We’ll start early today with some interviews and sound check, and the girls wanted to go shopping so they’ll meet us there. I will send a car for you before the concert and then we’ll talk. Alright?”

She grabbed her back and headed towards the door, giving Luke one last look and a soft smile before she left.

Luke didn't forget how she didn’t kiss him before she closed the door.

*

The day passed by and Luke was still in their room. He sat in front of the table with his notebook and pen, writing up words that, at that moment, reminded him of her.

He didn’t like how they were acting with each other. How quick everything went to shit after last night’s mistakes when words were louder than actions until those words became apologies.

Y/N said he didn’t mean his apology, and deep down he knew it to be true. He regrets the way he told her, admiring that he would have handled things a little better than he did. But he meant what he said about her pushing him away by not communicating. They were both trying but apparently, they sucked at it.

Truth was, there was no one to blame. Truth was, they were both at fault. And, truth was that he would still fall to his knees for her the moment she asked. Because he had never loved someone as much as he loved her.

When the time of the concert was almost upon him, he quickly jumped into the shower, ignoring all the beeps and rings of his phone as his thoughts and hopes filled his mind. He thought about what he was going to say to her, and he hoped that they could finally get past this and leave this whole situation behind; to start over and just be free.

He was putting on his shirt when his phone started beeping again, finally checking it to see what the fuss was all about.

Thousands upon thousands of notification flooded his screen, and they all said the same thing:

“Y/N AND MADDEN BACK TOGETHER?!”

“THE ENCOUNTER OF THE YEAR! MADDEN BANKS AND Y/N L/N SEEN TOGETHER AGAIN TALKING ON THE OUTSIDES OF THE VENUE”

“OMG Y/N X MADDEN SHIPPER REJOICE AS THE COUPLE SEEMS TO HAVE REKINDLED THEIR RELATIONSHIP AFTER CHEATING SCANDAL”

Luke felt as if an elephant was standing on top of his chest, losing his balance and falling to the bed with his phone in hand, unable to look away from his screen. 

His breathing became elaborated as his eyes filled with tears as he read the tweets and article titles. He knew he shouldn’t click on them. He knew. And yet…

“Lead singer of the band 5 Seconds of Summer, Y/N L/N was last seen talking to her ex-boyfriend, Madden Banks, in a secluded alley outside the venue where the band is going to perform their concert tonight. 

We last saw the couple last year around August when Madden announced their breakup after cheating scandals came out to the surface. None of the parties made any comments about it, but it was set to believe that Y/N was the one who committed the mistakes after a set of tweets on Bank’s personal account where it said that he was feeling “broken-hearted” by the situation and he hoped no one had to get through that ever again. 

Now it seems that the past is the past! As Y/N and Madden were caught by paparazzi talking again, and by the looks on both their faces it seemed like their relationship was not over after all! 

We are still waiting for confirmations from either of them but congratulations to the couple ❤️”

A set of pictures were attached to the article. All of them of bad quality and from questionable sources. 

On the first one, you could see Madden smiling with Y/N’s back facing the camera. On the second one, Madden was closer to her, almost cradling her face as if to kiss her. The third picture had Madden pointing out the paparazzi, a surprised expression plastered on his face as Y/N appeared out of focus. The last picture had Y/N walking away with Madden following behind, both of them with angry faces seemingly for being interrupted. 

Luke was gripping on his phone tightly, a sense of rage coming over him as he wiped his tears furiously and walked up the door. Turning off his phone before he could read Y/N’s message:

Y/N: it’s not true! Let me explain…

*

He did not go to the concert that night, nor did he stay in their bedroom, opting for sleeping in the room that was originally assigned to him. 

His emotions walked him into a bar last night, letting him drown his sorrows in alcohol as he slowly drifted away from his senses. He doesn’t remember getting to the hotel, but he does remember not wanting to be with her that night. Feeling betrayed and used, what was the point? 

It was pretty late when he woke up the next morning, too late for Y/N to even be in the hotel knowing that they still needed to do a lot of press before traveling to their next destination. It was sufficient to say that he was not going to go with them. 

He was about to book a flight when he noticed his phone died while being turned off last night. He was in such a rush that he forgot to bring his charger with him, but he felt confident that it was safe for him to go back to her room now that she was gone. He would pack all his things and leave, he was not about to endure any of this shit anymore, no matter how much it hurts him. 

When he opened the door to her room, however, Luke noticed that he was not alone. 

“You didn’t come last night” 

Y/N was standing by the window, looking at the street through the thin curtain, hoping she might catch a glimpse of Luke walking back to her. She was wearing the hotel’s robe and had her hair tied in a ponytail. Her voice was fragile, tired, and broken as if she spent all night crying. 

“Good,” thought Luke “at least we’ll both be miserable” 

Luke didn’t answer that, instead, he just asked “I thought you’d be doing the press tour” 

She shook her head, her back still facing him as she sniffed “I couldn’t go. I didn’t know where you were” 

He would’ve thought it was touching and he might’ve felt bad for her if she hadn’t shattered his heart the night before. So he said nothing. 

“I needed you last night, Luke,” She said, voice a little firmer as she finally turned around. Luke’s heart ached when he saw her delicate figure, she looked sick, pale, and tired. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red from all the crying. Part of him wanted to go to her and hold her, but her betrayal was still too fresh on his skin.

Luke scoffed “Sure you did” He didn’t intend for his voice to sound with such malice, but it was almost as if his tongue had a brain on itself “Was Madden not enough?” 

“Stop,” 

“Is he here?” He asked, voice mocking interest as he walked around the room “C’mon Asshole!” He called, opening the closet doors and walking into the bathroom “You won, motherfucker, you can have her! It’s not like it’s hard anyway” 

Her eyes widened at his words, cheeks turning pink at the realization of the insult “Luke!”

“Was this part of your plan?” He asked, turning towards her with nothing but the rage inside his eyes “To bring me here to make him jealous? To make me fall for you so easily? Is that why we never went public? Ha! Should’ve known you just wanted a free pass to whore around while still making sure you have a secure fuck waiting back at the hotel” 

Y/N froze. Not even Luke could believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, but he was too far gone in his own anger to process them or to take them back. 

“This is the part where you apologize,” She said, eyes filling with tears she refused to spill. 

“No, this is the part where I tell you to fuck off” Luke spat, taking a step towards her, not realizing how she flinched as she took a step back “You know, I tried so fucking hard for months to make you happy. And every day I read those fucking articles that were talking shit about you and every fucking day I told myself that those weren’t real. That you weren’t like that… surprise, surprise! Looks like the cat is out of the bag. Makes sense! That’s why you never wanted to talk, you never wanted to admit to what you did because you never take any fucking responsibilities for the damages you cause! I thought I knew you, at least some parts of you. Turns out everyone is right about you. Every fucking word of it” 

He turned around, ready to grab his things and go, but the adrenaline was kicking in and he just couldn’t stop.

“Tell Madden that he’s an idiot for taking you back,” He said with his back turned to her “That he should’ve left your cheating ass alone. Let you get what you deserve”

“I never cheated” She mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. 

He scoffed “Yeah, right” 

“I never fucking cheated!” Y/N raised his voice, making Luke turn around to face her. Her face was red with tears and she had her fist clenched to her sides, knuckles white from all the pressure she was putting in.

“I never cheated on Madden! I never fucking cheated on you! On anyone! He cheated on me, repeatedly and with several people for all the course of our relationship! I never touched a person outside ANY of my relationships. I have been nothing but faithful to you and now you’re throwing that shit at me without knowing an ounce of my side of the story?! 

You want to know, Luke, why I never tell the story as it was? Why it’s so fucking hard for me to tell the story even to the people I love?” 

It was a challenge, he knew from the look in her eyes that she was not going to stay quiet any longer. She didn’t even wait for his answer. 

“I was fucking abused, Luke! Physically, mentally, sexually… you fucking name it! During that whole relationship. Want me to tell you the details or you could figure it out yourself?! I was getting beaten almost daily! I had to hide the bruises and cuts in front of the guys as they slowly watched me fall apart. I had to lie to them for YEARS because I genuinely thought he loved me. He said he did so I believed him. It wasn’t until one night where he got too far that I had to tell myself that it was enough. But what could I say? I was so fucking embarrassed I couldn’t go to the media that calls me a liar every chance they have! I couldn’t go to the police because he has money and could easily get away with it! I was so fucking alone until I met you and… You took his side” 

Luke felt like his heart was taking a punch with every word that she said. Every tear that fell off her eyes was like a knife in the back. The guilt was eating him inside out, crashing into him like a tsunami. He should’ve kept his mouth shut, he shouldn’t have let his emotions take the reins, he should’ve... He felt all of his emotions turn to mush, all but shame as he stared into her eyes knowing he was the one who fucked up. 

“Y/N-“

“I needed you last night when he cornered me. I needed you by my side as I broke down backstage because you weren’t answering your phone. How do you think I felt when I came into our room and found it empty? I was ready to tell you everything and then you just decided that wasn’t worth it anymore. That I wasn’t worthy anymore. All without giving me a chance” She cried, shattering sobs running through her body as she remembered the feeling of hopelessness she had “Not only that, but I come to find this on your side of the bed”

She threw his notebook at him, he didn’t need to open it to know what she read. Already regretting leaving it there. 

“Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed

Don't know if you love me or you want me dead.

Some days, you're the best thing in my life

Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife

Then you turn into somebody I don't know

And you push me away

Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth

Late-night devil, put your hands on me

And never let go” 

She recited the words by memory, having read them over and over again as she waited for him to come back.

“Is that really how you see me, Luke?” She asked, voice broken as she looked into his eyes. 

Luke felt his body tremble with shame as he looked at her. He has never seen her look so sad and fragile before, the smile he loved so much was gone and he knew he might never see it again. He wanted to scream that that’s now how he saw her at all. Those words were written out of frustration, out of anger. He wanted to tell her that she’s the most amazing, loving, strong, intelligent person he know but... how could he even look her in the eyes?

He knew that he went too far. That he should’ve given her a chance to explain what happened instead of just letting the media fill his brain with lies; lies he believed without question because of his insecurities. He broke the strongest girl he’s ever known, but she was still standing. 

Despite the hurt, he caused her, she was still standing in front of him. Demanding answers he doesn’t know how to give. Still being so much braver than him.

“Y/N, I-“ He began, voice breaking as he was left speechless. How could he ask for her forgiveness now that he broke every ounce of trust she held for him? 

“Luke, I think you should leave,” She said, rounding her arms around her torso as she looked back at the window. Unable to hold her gaze to him any longer. 

“No,” Luke begged of her. Pleaded, even “Y/N, baby don’t-“ 

“Leave” She repeated more firmly “If I’m such a monster, the best thing we can do is for you to go home” 

She turned her back to him once again, and he knew that he had just lost the battle he was too scared to even fight.

Y/N cried silent tears as she heard him gather his belongings and pack his bags, feeling as if she might collapse into the floor if she weren’t holding herself too tightly. If she concentrated, she could hear him cry, too, until he closed the last of his bags and walked through the door.

Because, after all, he would still go to the ends of the world if she asked.

.

.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash​ @alltimesos @kingxnichole @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hufflehemm @girl-toxxic

[morethanonepage]

☕ + the last jedi

it's sucks.

ok but really TLJ is just. so weird to me. the thing that really gets me. like REALLY gets me. is that RJ was given the second movie of a trilogy, the eight part of a nine part series, and decided that he was -- just going to go FUCK IT to all of the themes and genre expectations and tone of the star wars.

like i'm not even saying that's BAD. Rogue One does a great job with adding more dimension to the events of the original trilogy by basically doing that. Solo wasn't GREAT but it was fun and went in for the heist film element. Most of the subsequent live action star wars shows have had their own twists and tonal differences and unique storytelling viewpoints. And all of that is great!

but MAYBE doing it IN THE MIDDLE OF A TRILOGY that you're not even making any more movies for is uh.........just very self centered of you. like there is a time for subversion! there is a time for thoughtful critiques of the heroes of our childhood!! but is that time REALLY two movies from the end of a nine part series????

it's also SCREAMINGLY annoying to me that everyone associated w star wars/disney corp keep trying to gaslight us into thinking Finn's storyline in that movie was good. like EVEN IF you like the reylo shit and whatever else is going on in TLJ, can you HONESTLY explain how Finn's character arc in that film is ANY DIFFERENT from his character arc in TFA.

In TFA: Finn deserts from the First Order and puts his safety and that of Rey over helping the Resistance bc he's already been through TOO MUCH with the FO and just wants the chance to be free of them & protect his friend, but then comes around to helping the Resistance after all because he realizes the FO needs to be stopped and he's got the ability to help do so.

In TLJ: Finn wakes up and immediately tries to leave the Resistance, putting his safety and that of Rey over helping the Resistance bc he's already been through TOO MUCH with the FO and just wants the chance to be free of them & protect his friend, but then comes around to helping the Resistance after all because he realizes the FO needs to be stopped and he's got the ability to help do so.

RJ gave SO FEW FUCKS about Finn that he didn't even give him a new storyline!!

Like obviously I also find the Poe stuff bad for personal reasons -- Poe's INITIAL, right from the start characterization in TFA is, Leia sends on crucial mission that requires him to gain the trust of a reclusive old man, which he does. The second part of his characterization is, he opts to defend innocent villagers from a FO attack DESPITE that mission, but still thinking ahead to give the map to BB-8 in case he DID get captured. He's kind to Finn and makes a POINT to both object to how he was dehumanized by the FO AND immediately recognize Finn's humanity, despite Finn being a storm trooper LITERALLY five minutes ago. Poe is also shown to be a good leader that his squad mates trust and listen to, and is calm and competent in that planning meeting for the attack on Starkiller. Like he's a normal, competent, fundamentally decent guy. And then TLJ rolls around and it's like, "if I can't blow it up from my x-wing I don't give a fuck about it," with a helping of "The Galaxy's Greatest Misogynist, Poe Dameron, Doesn't Like Feminine Women". To see the cultural conversation change from, Poe Dameron Is The Internet's New Boyfriend after TFA to, Poe Dameron Is The Real Villain of TLJ was certainly uhhhhh something.

Like in general it's just so fucking convenient that the heroes of Star Wars get deconstructed and torn down and demoted compared to the main character White Girl only once those other heroes are cast as non-white. Non-white male characters just can't be competent and good people in a Space Fairy Tale, OBVIOUSLY.

Like in the OT, neither Han nor Leia (nor later, Lando) are not treated with the level of disrespect Finn and Poe are, because no matter what they CANNOT be as good as Rey at ANYTHING. They CANNOT understand her, and they CANNOT be her equal, which is all a function of, isolating Rey so the Reylo shit could happen.

Also I know this is actually more of a TROS complaint but honestly: the co-generals thing bugs me. I know everyone thinks it's cute, I know it was probably meant well but. Leia, Han, and Lando are all generals by the end of the OT. They're never called co-generals. It's never implied that they need to be co-generals because they're not capable of whatever it is their duties are ON THEIR OWN, which is the vibe I get from Finn and Poe in TROS. Like, Finn and Poe both being generals, together, in the same military group makes a lot of sense and would be great. And obviously I love teamwork and I love the idea of them working together. The "I can't do this without you" though is like -- both Poe and Finn are experienced military commanders??? Poe more than Finn TBH but Finn probably makes up for it given the intensity of his FO training. I think they very literally could do the job on their own. BUT THEY'RE NOT WHITE SO NO THEY COULDN'T, I suppose.

[bhadpodcast]

Why Scott McCall Is Teen Wolf’s Worst Character

There is this notion in the Scott/Posey fandom that they can do and say whatever they want. When Derek and Stiles fans called them out for harassing a Teen Wolf fan who had the audacity to dislike Scott McCall, the Scott McCall defense squad defended their own disgusting behavior by whining that “they disrespected Scott McCall in the general tags.” The problem with that is that these are the same bullies who would go into full-on attack mode if you dared post anything even remotely critical of Scott McCall in the anti Scott McCall tag.

I’ve seen these people post their anti Derek, Stiles, Sterek - pro Scott crap in the “Derek Hale”, “Stiles Stilinski” and “Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski” tags on purpose.

Scott/Posey stans act as if the truth is determined by how loud and toxic they are. Since Stiles and Derek are the fan favorites, the stars of the show, and they overshadowed Scott from the day one without even even trying, then they can do as they please, even harassing Teen Wolf fans and dropping into the Stiles Stilinski or Derek Hale tag to say how much they hate the character.

I personally feel that the reason behind his is that antis identify with Scott so much that if you dare criticize Scott’s canonical abusive actions and behavior, they feel you’re insulting them. They have bought into the wish fulfillment that Scott McCall represents.

Scott McCall represents the idea that you can treat everyone around you like crap, you can insult people, invade their privacy, emotionally or physically lash out at them when you’re upset, but as long as you’re in a position of power and arguably charismatic, people will still love you and treat you like you’re a hero and the bestest friend ever. It doesn’t matter how much you hurt the people around you, because the entire power fantasy is that people will accept your behavior, and instead of asking you to apologize, they’ll instead apologize to you, even for the most minor meaningless slight, because only your feelings and your emotions matter.

It’s what has made characters like Scott McCall so popular among the antis, no matter what show they are on. And why this particular trope, the Average Whiny Asshole With A Plot Armor, is only popular when played by an attractive guy.

Of course, in antis’ fan fictions, Scott McCall will have most of their canon traits (such as violence, jealousy, possessiveness, bigotry, entitlement, and cruelty) removed, because as much as Scott Stans love Scott McCall for being a toxic asshole and getting away with it, they understand they can never admit that. So they turn Scott into a self insert Mary Sue and give him all the positive traits stolen from the Teen Wolf characters who they claim to despise.

This conceals the fact that they liked Scott McCall exactly because of his lack of positive character growth, including his utter refusal to acknowledge that his abusive actions and behavior have consequences even if he manages to hide them or blame others for them.

Scott spent six seasons using his friends and victims as a cover for his actions, and no one ever held him accountable for what he did. The production ended up with a character who is stuck in the same static condition he was in the pilot: a character who never gets to learn or improve any part of himself. By the end of the show, Scott McCall is still the same whiny, cruel, bigoted, entitled asshole that he was when he first showed up on the show. The very same boy who thinks that the hunters had a valid reason to slaughter the Hales, lashes out at his best friend, and then lives out his Werewolf Jesus fantasies and delusions of grandeur through his friends’ suffering.

Instead of growing, Scott got reasons he should be allowed to be an asshole. He lies because “he has to”. He’s violent because “You may be an alpha, but you are not mine!” He’s abusive because his victims provoke him. He’s cruel because he is a werewolf. He’s jealous and possessive because he’s in love.

With characters like Scott McCall, the point isn’t for him to improve and overcome his problems. It’s for other characters to make allowances for his problems. In its fan service, the show let him stay the same entitled little boy he always was. Even in the final episode, he gleefully ruins his friends’ chance to have a life outside of him and of Beacon Hills just because he needs their help to save his own cowardly ass once again. Scott literally ends the show being his usual toxic self and recruiting traumatized children to fight his own battles. Hell, the rare times Scott did show character growth, like finally admitting he’s utterly useless when left to his own devices, his stans reacted with anger, because how dare they have Scott admit he can’t even plan his way out of paper bag without his smarter than everyone friends’ constant help and support?!

This leads to Season 5, where Scott once again lashed out at Stiles, blamed Stiles for his own mistakes, dehumanized Stiles for defending himself against his abuser, gaslit Stiles, tried to isolate Stiles from his support system, accused Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and a serial killer, and then acted as if he was the victim. And then of course Scott lies and plays up an injury that had long healed for six episodes straight just to convince his friends not to abandon him again because “I healed when we were together again. Where we were pack.” That is exactly what Scott/Posey fans wanted though: a character who can get away with this crap yet still be seen as a woobie and hero at the same time.

Then people wonder why Teen Wolf fans, critics, and viewers (and the actors themselves) come to despise Scott McCall and see him as everything wrong in fandom. It’s because Scott brought down the show by undermining its themes and other characters whenever the show, due to Posey’s jealous fits and temper tantrums, let him get away with the things like attacking Corey and plotting Josh and Tracy’s murder begins everyone’s back. When the show let him constantly insult Stiles and Derek, without giving Stiles and Derek a chance to push back at him. When the show let Scott abuse Isaac, and acted as if it was okay for Scott to do so because it was done in a humorous way. When the show let Scott sell Derek and his Pack out to Gerard and then justify it. When the show let Scott sacrifice Erica and Boyd to look good in Allison’s eyes and never called him out on it. When the show let Scott be abusive, and mean, and a bully, and acted as if those scenes were ok because Scott was a “true alpha”.

When you dare to criticize Scott’s abusive behavior, his delusional squad will excuse it by yelling “but Scott is a Mexican boy!” (he is not), or “Scott is depressed!” (he is not), or “Scott is poor!” (he is not), or “Scott is the most important character of Teen Wolf!” (he is not), as if that somehow makes Scott’s behavior okay, never realizing how racist and insulting that is to real Mexican people who aren’t complete assholes to everyone around them the way that Scott is.

_______________________________

This is a great piece of meta. Very well thought out and presented. Tell a friend. 

[haunted-radishes]

I just want to talk a little about some characters who are similar in their motivations and roles, but I haven’t really seen talked about together before. Wen Zhuliu, Wen Ning, and Su She. The righthand men.

Subservience

Of course, one of the first things about them is that they aren’t the masterminds or the ones calling the shots. They all have someone else in charge telling them what to do. Wen Zhuliu is simply unquestioningly obedient, Wen Ning literally surrenders control over his own body every so often, and Su She follows the man with the plan.

Loyalty

They may have secondary motivations (WZL doesn’t really seem to have one, WN has his moral compass, SS wants to get back at the high-born cultivators who cast him aside), but at their core, all three of them are motivated primarily by loyalty to a savior of some sort. Wen Zhuliu wanted to repay Wen Ruohan for adopting him into the family, Wen Ning wanted to repay Wei Wuxian for saving his life, and Su She wanted to repay Jin Guangyao for respecting him as a cultivator and clan leader.

Although it’s interesting to note that these all have very different approaches to the balance of debt vs. compatible goals/ideals vs. personal loyalty

For Wen Zhuliu, the relationship seems to be entirely about repaying an unrepayable debt. Wen Ruohan adopted him into the Wen clan, and he spends the rest of his life doing everything he can to repay that, regardless of whether it lines up with what he wants or thinks is right.

Meanwhile for Wen Ning, from an objective life for a life standpoint, there should have been no debt between him and Wei Wuxian for much of the story, but he stood by Wei Wuxian’s side for a combination of moral reasons, practical reasons, and personal loyalty (roughly in that order). I’m going to go by the CQL storyline here bc it’s the one I’m most familiar with, Wei Wuxian saved Wen Ning’s life during the Waterborne abyss night hunt and gave him the protective talisman. Debt owed. Wen Ning takes out the dog in the Wen dungeon and gives Wei Wuxian medicine. Debt repaid. Wen Ning saves Jiang Cheng at Lotus pier and retrieves the bodies of Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan, because it’s the right thing to do. Debt owed, going the opposite way. Wei Wuxian resurrects Wen Ning and saves as much as his family as he can. Debt...... repaid? I’m realizing now that you could interpret this as Wen Ning thinking of Jiang Cheng as being the one who owes him after Lotus pier, and that Wei Wuxian didn’t have to save his life, but anyway, getting back on track, after that, Wen Ning stays by Wei Wuxian partly out of necessity, and partly out of personal loyalty, regardless of any debts owed between them.

For Su She, on the other hand, compatible goals and ideals played a major part in their alliance. Su She was cast aside by the noble cultivators and wanted to get back at them for it. Then along comes Jin Guangyao, who actually respects him as a clan leader. Better yet, he’s half low-born, and therefore understands the disrespect Su She endures and is exactly the kind of person those snobby nobles wouldn’t want obtaining any power, and even better, obtaining power is exactly what he plans on doing. If there must be someone in the chief cultivator seat, Su She would want it to be someone like Jin Guangyao. And if they have to kill a few nobles and do things that would make the oh-so-righteous great sects mad to achieve it, that’s just a bonus for Su She.

Standing

Kind of tying into the loyalty thing, although I wanted to address it separately, is the fact that besides their special person, people look down on the righthand men.

It’s not quite as obvious/bad with Wen Zhuliu, but Wen Chao, his master’s son berates and whines at him constantly (although to be fair, that’s just what Wen Chao is like), and Madame Yu is very quick to jump on the fact that he wasn’t born anything special, and that he wasn’t “really” a member of one of the great sects. Of course, in life, Wen Ning was looked down on by his clan as weak, and in death he was dehumanized, and I’ve brought up what’s up with Su She enough that I don’t have to remind you here.

Power

The final (I think) thing I want to bring up is that the righthand men have powers above and beyond the average person, even power that all or most named characters can’t match, but most importantly, it’s a power that their masters lack.

Wen Zhuliu obviously has his unique core melting hand, capable of reducing the greatest cultivators to the level of ordinary people, but beyond that, he’s one of the best swordsmen in the series, certainly the best in his clan. While Wen Ruohan is an effective strategist, warlord, and if you ask CQL, necromancer, none of the main Wen family are shown to be particularly good fighters. Wen Ruohan just gives dramatic speeches, Wen Chao is constantly hiding behind Wen Zhuliu, and Wen Xu just bullies already defeated forces and gets decapitated offscreen.

Wei Wuxian is still a force to be reckoned with, what with his demonic cultivation and genius talisman work, but the loss of his golden core left him far behind the rest of the cast in the physical strength and direct fighting ability department, but hoo boy does Wen Ning make up for that. And as far as others of his class (fierce corpses) go, not only is Wen Ning the first intelligent one, he’s stronger than any other.

People tend to forget it because of his (apparently) mediocre musical abilities, but Su She is an incredibly powerful cultivator. Being able to hold your own for any amount of time in a fight with Lan Wangji is impressive, let alone getting out of that fight, and he regularly uses transportation talismans, which a) are straight up said to use a massive amount of spiritual energy, with Wei Wuxian immediately deducing that he’s a strong cultivator just because he used one, and b) no one else ever uses. We can only deduce that they use too much spiritual energy to be practical at any point for most characters, but he uses them at multiple points. How much spiritual power does this guy have? Contrast Jin Guangyao, who, having no one to teach him for most of his life, has an extremely weak golden core.

I never see people talking about the similarities between these three men, and I think that should change. Many characters are more similar than they would seem....

[kaypeace21]

i'm losing hope of byler being an endgame :( milevens say that we are invalidating mileven, besides having several scenes that they show "passion/love". they make fun of us, besides always giving reasons why mileven is an endgame, and disrespecting other people's ship, and maybe actually Will will be with another boy right?? idk but I really hope I'm not being deluded

lol  lets not focus on byler for a sec and mostly discuss mileven. what scenes show mileven’s  ‘passion/love’? Because the show invalidates mileven constantly-why they’re so aggressive/afraid of us.THEY KNOW IT’S DOOMED (they live in head canons and nothing else).  I’m going to try keeping this short by doing bullet points.

-The writers in s3 threw in a telemarketing joke just for Mike to say “El. no. sorry not interested” and hang up the phone. 

- Flo  in s1: “only love makes you that crazy and that damn stupid.”

Mike: “if we’re both going crazy. we’ll go crazy together right?”will: “yeah, crazy together “ *smile and stare longingly at eachother *————————————————————-Mike: “they do say it makes you crazy”El: “what makes you crazy?”(the exact opposite of crazy together as she continues to be confused over every explanation he gives of love 😂)————————————————————-During the byler fight  Mike says “el’s not stupid!” After this, Will calls himself “ so stupid “ 4x .  rips up photo where they said they’d go crazy together and cries . But, El after fighting with mike happily says: “there’s more to life than STUPID boys .”  El’s catchphrase being “not stupid” which she says in s2 before going to see Mike at the school. And Nancy before Mike says he loves El / Mikeduring the byler fight (about mileven) say “El’s not stupid!”

original gifs  sources

-the s3 stobin confession parallels mileven’s s3 shop confession (full analysis in link). Both El/Robin have bandages on their legs and both pairings sit together (on the floor) during their confessions- and are interrupted by Dustin. And in both straight baits- the guys use the terms “stupid/crazy” but subvert the expectation of it being romantic-as both girls say they’re not “crazy” or “stupid” for the guy. El saying “what makes you crazy?” in response to Mike. And Robin saying she was not into Steve’s “stupid hair” (similar to El saying there’s more to life than ‘stupid boys’/other saying she’s not stupid.”Also the song ‘the first i love you’ only plays twice in s3. During Steve’s romantic confession and robin rejecting him because she’s gay & El’s romantic confession and awkward kiss with mike (where Mike doesn’t reciprocate). Cause Robin/Mike are both gay and will reject the romantic confession.

- Erica making he-man and barbie kiss: “Hey , They’re in love!”Lucas (livid- and standing right next to a rainbow forcing them apart): “No, actually,  they’re not. they’re not even from the same planet.”  El even watches he-man in s1! Mileven is not in love!

Cue El and mike being compared to ET and Eliot -WHO AREN’T FROM THE SAME PLANET (by the Duffers in multiple interviews and in the pilot script ) .   And then there’s the  old euphemism of “girls come from Venus, and boys come from Mars”.  The Duffers saying mileven isn’t in love cause they’re not from the same planet (aka the same gender) -is just them telling us Mike is gay so he can’t fall for El-who is a girl/diff species. They literally have Will say to Mike “welcome to my world” as a contrast. So El telling mike he should ‘stick with his own species’ (aka boys) is another gay hint.

In s2 they even had El wear the same shirt as a 1986 movie character (staring Winona Ryder). The movie is called coincidentally “lucas”- and he’s in an unrequited romantic relationship with a gal named maggie. And he later says him and Maggie are  from “different worlds.” El being movie-Lucas in a unrequited romance, in this scenario. And the other easteregg is the Duffers have st-Lucas  say the “planet/worlds” similar to movie-Lucas.

some milevens also attribute romeo/juliet to mileven cause Dustin mentioned it while mileven was out of shot. But romeo & juliet weren’t actually in love-it was just kids in infatuation. And also used to describe the unrequited infatuation of Lucas/Maggie.

-Also when dustin in s1 says el is “like a wizard” (like Will.) Mike corrects dustin and says “more like yoda”. Really hammering down the alien references- which the Duffers reference to el in interviews all the time-by comparing her to et . In the pilot they even said mike and el are like “Eliot and et.” They said they made el dress like a ghost cause et did so- and then for the extra burn they made mike a ghost hunter/buster. And they also said that EL’s makeover in s1 was like et’s in the movie. And sorry ... who compares the girl they “crush on” with a green gross alien (yoda)- kind of shows how he sees her more as this foreign superpowered entity rather than a girl/crush. And on what planet is et /Eliot romantic??Answer is -it’s not. 

- In contrast, They have Mike and Will parallel  Diane and Venkman. In ghost Busters, Mike -is Venkman- and Will -is Dana Barret- who Venkman flirts with shamelessly until she is possessed. Dana finds a demon-dog in her fridge, and hires the ghost busters. And right before Venkman goes on a date with her she is possessed by the big-bad, Zuul, and is transformed into the gate-keeper (who controls demo(n)-dogs). Venkman proceeded to try to talk to the real Dana , ignoring her possessed form and eventually realizes how serious her condition is, is forced to sedate her. Eventually with the help of his team, Venkman closes the gate to Zuul’s dimension, rescuing Dana in the process. And Venkman plants one on Dana before riding away in triumph. While, El is a ghost and Mike is a ghost hunter XD

Notice in the same season lucas says mileven is ‘not in love’ and compares mileven to he-man and barbie .  Dustin has a  he-man & Et next to each other (along with a ghost buster sign above them, and the ghostbusters-trap next to et). This just reinforces the mileven eastereggs I’ve already talked about -  and how they want you to make the connections  about mileven not being in love. They showed et/barbie next to he-man, had El watch he-man, compared El to Et (who had a barbie-like makeover/ghost costume), so the next he-man ref of ‘not being in love’  cause rhey’re from different planets would connect in a more obvious way to mileven.  Same with Et next to the ghost trap and ghost busters sign (and El dressing as a ghost and Mike as a ghost buster-as an extra burn).

- Mike dehumanizing El is hammered down again when they compare s1 mileven to s2 dart /dustin (a demo dog) , to further show how un-romantic it is. Fin even said the duffers told him Mike saw el (OFFENSIVELY) as a “puppy’ (right after s1).  And of course millie accurately said “what a horrible way to describe me!”But the parallels are there: Dustin/Mike sharing sweets ( nougat vs eggos) for breakfast and saying they’ll have to wait for them to come home from school. And having mike annoyed, say  “a bond? cause you shared nougat?!” is dissing milevens who think the ego thing is cute/romantic. Dustin/Mike saying they ‘promised’ to take care of them and that they ‘trust’ dustin & mike. Dart killing a cat and El almost killing a cat. Dustin/Mike trying to convince Lucas- Dart & El aren’t bad. The boys thinking both El & Dart were bad guys causing both to end up running away because of that. Mike even admits in s1 he doesn’t like eggos and told El she doesn’t have to eat “like a dog” anymore.  it’s ironic when Mike says to Dustin “she’s not a dog” cause he treated her as such. Why El says in s3 angrily , “am I your pet?” It’s because he did/does unfortunately treat her this way to some degree. 

-They Parallel Mileven to Hopper & El (since mileven isn’t actually romantic)!

*teaching the meaning of promise vs com-promise. And making “promises” to eachother is not some super romantic thing- for just mileven.

* Telling her to eat “real food” vs eggos

* saying her new look is “cool”and saying it’s “bitchin” after El says the look is.

* Saying others are “corrupting her” and in response gals say neither respect her ability to make “decisions” in regards to romance. Hopper not accepting Mileven together (want them to break up)  and Mike not accepting she dumped him.

* Max saying to not let Hopper/Mike control her

*El saying “you lie” to both of them

ok , back to listing other points

- they dance to ‘every breath you take’ a break up song about a stalker ex who can’t accept he is now with her friend. The writer of the song also has said many times “it’s NOT a love song.” The duffers obviously knew that. Lumax also danced to it and Lucas was called a ‘stalker’ . El also stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike says he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 he said not to do that and she just says ‘i make my own rules’.Plus, sting (the singer) mentions it’s supposed to sound romantic but the lyrics are sinister. And that the ambiguity/deceptive happy -romantic tone was intentional. Kind of like how people think mileven is healthy and in love when the show (ambiguosly says ) that it’s not -and the “opposite”.Just like the song being misinterpreted as romantic because of its deceptive packaging -mileven is the same . Mileven got popular cause everyone missed all the warning signs it wasn’t healthy (cause it was packaged as ‘cute’ and ‘ in love’) when behind the surface it was shown to be the opposite and not healthy.

 Not to mention Nancy teaching Dustin how to dance is a direct parallel to Mike teaching El. 

Mike also tries to act like Dustin, and  forces Will to dance with a girl (who’s wearing a rainbow hair clip). Trying to be a good sport like Dustin is about lumax. And right after this we see Dustin look sad about Max/Lucas dancing and Mike (next to Dustin) look sadly at Will/girl dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these 2 shots to emphasize their sadness/jealousy.Then they both sit down (mirroring each other) on the verge of tears before Nancy and El show up to comfort them and distract them.  As El once again (presumably) wears Nancy’s dress. Mike after El asks “will you be my brother?” “you cant go  (to the snowball) with your sister... i mean you can but it’d be really weird.” 

- before their first kiss in s1 she asked if he would be like her brother (after being compared to a cousin, and being compared to Holly, and wearing Nancy’s dress.) In s2 they even make a direct parallel to Luke &Leia (who were siblings who had a weird romantic relationship/kissed before realizing they were related). Mike (as Leia) saying “it’s a trap” to El (Luke). 

- Mike in s1 writes a d&d story for Will inspired by star wars.  in ep one Will tells Mike “it was a 7, the demogorgan it got me.”At the end of the season Mike writes a whole story of him and his friends killing a 7 headed monster, and showing the decapitated head of the monster to king Tristan (Will). Similar to how at the hospital he tells Will to not worry cause “it’s dead now”. This is right after Will rolls a 14 (cause Mike and Will are 7s together). And Mike who is a fan of starwars has King Tristan give them medals after killing the monster. Cause he wants Will/king tristan (instead of Leia -a girl) to present him with medals and be his romantic love interest (and praise him for being a hero).

- They had Dustin call mileven “bullshit” just like stancy (who were never in love). And in s3 for almost every single character in the show to dislike mileven . if that isn’t a cry for help from the writers idk what is XD

other stancy parallels: Making out on a bed to cheesy music. stancy wasn’t in love but they kissed the most in the series and nancy and steve (similar to mileven exchanged ‘i love yous’) but weren’t endgame and it was never love. Mike and Steve sing to their gfs and neither girls are fans and cut them off.In s1, both Nancy/Mike slap Steve and El and then both yell “ What is wrong with you?!”  Stancy/mileven are compared to Karen/ted who according to Nancy “never loved each other”. El is a fan of ted’s lazy boy. (Karen in s3 looks at Ted in the chair when the lyric “I should have walked away “ plays). And Steve and ted continuing to eat chicken as their gf /wife storm off from the table upset , and they do nothing. After the mileven and Karen/Ted fight- Steve says while eating “what did I do?what did i do?” And mike while eating says about el after their fight “what did i do wrong? what did i do wrong?!Steve and Ted both tell Mike to “stay on the bench/you’re on the bench.” Karen/ ted that they “never loved each other” (just like mileven and stancy which are “bullshit.”) All 3 wheelers were with people cause it seemed like the rational choice ( rich guy/ popular guy/ girl). Not to mention mike said “ I don’t remember” ( in reference to saying he loved el ) . And doesn’t say it back when el says “I love you”. Which mimics Nancy in s2 saying “I don’t remember ” (saying the stancy relationship is bs) . And she is also unable to say she loves Steve when he says“say you love me.” And Steve and el walking away as both wheelers stand there in silence. Unable to say “I love you” back.  Also, when stancy officially breakup it also pans to mileven on the porch as another parallel.And 11byers mentioned (at Christmas)  jancy has a moment but despite stancy’s issues she goes back to Steve where she looks sad over the decision .  Similar to how Byler have a moment , but then after , mileven talks about christmas  and they have that awkward kiss. In s3, steve when talking about stancy and trying to be popular even says “dustin’s right it’s all a bunch of bullshit.” (meaning Dustin’s right about mileven). Steve even says “everything people tell you is important that you’re supposed to care about- it’s bullshit.” (same season Mike mimics Lucas’ words from s1 about El being the “most important thing”.

-They also had Mike tell Max “i don’t hate you. I don’t even know you.”  Aka he can’t hate Max or love el cause he knew both for a week-and doesn’t know them. The amount of mileven burns that were in s2 -were insane XD.

other direct contrasts between Mileven & byler 

besides the ones already mentioned. 1) ‘crazy together/so stupid’ vs ‘what makes you crazy?/el’s not stupid/more to life than stupid boys & 2) ‘they’re not in love they’re not even from the same planet’ vs byler’s ‘welcome to my world’

3) Mike has drastically different expressions after the byler/mileven fights and the difference in weather and music selection ,convey how Mike is feeling. He looks regretful with Will, and almost annoyed with El dumping him.  Mileven breaks up to upbeat music on a sunny day (the break up being in front a crowd and a joke) vs the morose music and the storm shown (with just Mike and Will fighting ). We are supposed to take the byler fight seriously and the mileven one as a joke.They had Mike apologize to Will immediately. But with El he says “what did i do wrong?’ (Kind of like how ted, after pissing off karen says “what did I do?”)And then had Mike wait by the phone for her to apologize- says sexist stuff about her. Then have mike laugh/burp and talk about cheese and El to laugh about the break up/high five max and immediately oggle a pic of another boy/male celeb (unlike Will who looks sadly at the pic of Mike after their fight). And then after staring at the  teen-male celeb,  El says she’s not sure if  Mike’s a good kisser cause he’s just her “first boyfriend” and she has no other boys to compare him to (implying she’s thinking of other boys in the future).  Contrasted to Will who said he thought him & Mike would never get gfs but just spend the rest of their lives together. El after all these events, then happily reads comics  as Max says she shouldn’t hang out with Mike all the time. VS Will having him sadly read his comic to distract himself  only to throw his comic on the ground right before he looks at the pic of mike from Halloween (where they said they would go ‘crazy together’), calls himself stupid (unlike El saying there’s more to life than stupid boys/mike saying El is not stupid-aka in love ). And then destroys castle byers /crIES after the their fight. These events were perfect opposites.

4) When Mike says in the pool shed she’s the “most important thing in the world” to him. she cuts him off and says Hopper is right about them spending too much time together. But when Mike in the shed says asking Will to be his friend was the “best thing he’s ever done” (it was practically the cliche of true love breaking the curse) XD.

When Mike says to El  “you’re most important thing to me” in the pool shed. El doesn’t even acknowledge the comment (and neither should the audience- cause the words were empty). The framing of this mileven scene was not cinematic or heartfelt, and neither was the delivery from Mike. He’s not crying, trying to reach her with proclamations of his genuine feelings. There’s no dramatic music, framing, lighting or shot composition (and the scene was incredibly short).And El just responds and cuts his supposed ‘true feelings’ off- only to agree with Hopper and says “ what if he’s right”  . I didn’t speed this up FYI.

Juxtaposed to the MUCH longer byler shed scene. A literal single tear falling down his cheek as Mike , recounts the first day they met. This whole monologue is only of tight shots of just their faces (their bodies aren’t shown like in the pool shed scene). With contrasting colors of light and shadow.This is a personal moment between them and them alone- and the fact we zoom in on their faces (expresses this to be important emotionally) . And when we see Will’s reaction to Mike saying “it was the best thing I’ve ever done”. We just see Will’s face only- no music is playing and all we hear is  Will’s whimpers and Mike crying in the background.*

5) Max in s2 at Will’s house questions how Mike can still trust Will now that he’s a spy for the mf . Max (in s3) at El’s house: says that Mike doesn’t trust El- and Mike mentions that her spying is why he doesn’t trust her.  in s2, Mike: “if anyone could stop them it’s Will“. Max: “ I thought we couldn’t trust him that he’s a spy for the mf now?” Max in s3 calling Mike out  : “El has saved the world twice. And Mike still doesn’t trust her.” Mike: you want to talk about trust really?! after... Eleven spied on us! I guess girlfriends don’t lie they SPY!”

Not to mention - the fact is... El has “saved the world twice but Mike still doesn’t trust her” to fight the mf. Yet he 100% believed Will could defeat the mf -despite Will being possessed/a spy for the mf . And despite the fact Mike  thinks Will has no powers - unlike El ( but we all know he does , though :P). And, Mike even says Billy is dangerous cause  the “mf is in him ...Billy’s mind is sick, diseased” (but with Will possession -Mike still trusted him).  Max rolls her eyes and stares challengingly at Mike cause she remembers what Mike said about Will in s2- and the hypocrisy . And she finds it annoying how little faith he has in her compared to his almost unmoving-trust in Will (who at the time was possessed) . Mike has 100% trust and faith in Will-but simply doesn’t trust El.  And MAX KNOWS IT! Cause she’s paying attention. Like her facial expression/raised brow, at the end, is a challenge- you think non-superpowered Will could defeat the mf but not El with a history of fighting monsters? You say Billy possessed by the mf is dangerous- but still have more faith in Will possessed by the mf- than your own gf?! tbh El couldn’t defeat the mf (so technically him trusting Will over  El was proven to be correct). He wasn’t right about the El ‘giving up’ bs and he was still wrong for not respecting El as her “own person” with her “own free will” : not believing in El’s ability to make decisions like breaking up with him/ not believing El made the idea to spy on him, etc . But, Team work has always been what saved the day in s1-2, so over-relying on El to do it all and acting like she was the messiah ( like most of the st fanbase) was a poor plan . It’s not the El-show (it’s an ensemble cast with several mains). When they relied on her only ,to be the chosen one- she lost her powers, 30+ people d*ed, and they had to save her.

6) ) El and Will both calling for “Mike” alone in the upside down . And Mike “never giving up” on them.In the exact same ep (s2 e2) , both call for Mike from the upside down. El saves herself without Mike’s help. But Mike rushes to save Will crouching to comfort Will (whose body language mirrors El’s but who was alone in the forest after she sees mike and he did nothing). 

in s2 ep 1, both call for Mike ,but Mike only comes for Will -not el. It was like how Nancy in s1 called for Jon, and jonathan pulled her out of the upsidedown.  And as Jonathan and Mike both pull Nancy and Will back from the upside down , Jonathan says “I got you”. And Mike says “I got him “ twice. But mileven is like how barb while in the upsidedown called for Nancy (but nancy didn’t hear her screaming her name-cause it shows symbolically Nancy does not return Barb’s romantic feelings). Just like mileven.

Mike even saw Will’s dead body but the second he heard his voice he convinced everyone he was alive. Mike deep down assumed El was dead he brushed off seeing El as seeing things (like how Hopper described seeing Sarah). He even tells Max “ they took her just like they took bob” who was dead. Then a few minutes later lies and says he “never gave up” on her when she appears alive (which was a lie cause he just said she was dead). When El goes to his house Mike doesn’t ever go the forest to find her (unlike how Mike went into the forest in the pouring rain twice for Will). The truth is the only person he ‘never gave up on’ was Will.

7) They have El & Will have pics of Mike on Halloween (same night of the ‘crazy together’ speech). El only has a pic of Mike being miserable  and Will has pics of Mike staring at Will, and smiling next to him- despite the joke Mike never smiles in photos , this isn’t the case when mike is next to Will (he always smiles with Will). Cause being crazy with Will makes him happy - unlike his relationship with El who he fakes being ‘crazy’ about .

zoom in of Will & El’s pics of Mike: Will’s pic on left vs El’s on right . XD

8) Millie said El is “obsessed with Mike” so she has Mike-themed stuff all over  her room. She has a drawing with a heart that says mike on it/random heart pics, mike pic, dice that spell out mike, mikes’ stuff. So, It’s funny that mike has nothing relating to El at his place. In contrast to this, he still has 5 d&d drawings from Will on his wall (that he’s kept on his wall for 3 years despite removing an old poster from that same wall-which he gave to El). Mike even put up a 6th Will-drawing in s3- next to his new poster. And he never put a single 1 of her many drawings on his wall-just Will’s).

back to other points...

- They compared mileven to karen/billy. El in s2 , mimics Erica Kane who m(in the ep she is watching) rushes into a relationship with a writer named Mike Roy. (That relationship is not endgame-and  literally ends with one of them stalking and sabotaging their next relationship, but eventually accepting it’s over). This, also parallels Karen/ Billy. Before she meets him in s2, Karen is reading a romance book that has a guy that resembles Billy on the cover. The Duffers even mentioned they changed the cover to show the resemblance between Billy and the fictional book character. And we see Karen reading the sequel in s3 before Billy appears. Both El and Karen don’t/didn’t love Mike or Billy- they just projected onto them fictional characters they were infatuated with. El being into Mike roy- but projecting her crush on to Mike wheeler.

-They had El’s whole s2 arc be destroyed to show mileven is bad for her. “friends don’t lie” to let me lie to my friends so I can kiss mike and ditch them. lucas even said “they’re lying (about her curfew).”And lie to Mike about hearing his confession. Then in s2 trying to leave the cabin to experience the world and see my friends and fam again. To literally ignoring them all for 6 months and never leaving the cabin-despite Hopper letting me leave the house in s3.

- El in s3 says Mike treats her “like a pet” and “garbage”.

-In s1 Mike referred to her as a ‘weapon’  to help get Will back. smacked her when he thought she lied about Will being alive and said Lucas was right about her all along when he thought Will was dead and he couldn’t use her anymore. 

- They had El never apologize for spying/stalking . And  Mike never apologize for lying -despite it being the cause of the breakup . And had mike not reciprocate the kiss/ or say ‘i love you ‘ back  and had his eyes open while the same exact song plays that robin came out to: called ‘the first i love you’). These are the only 2 times the song plays in s3. The ‘first i love you’ also sounds like ‘the first lie’ - that song played when jancy said they were just friends. it sounds the same cause jancy lied about it not being romantic while mileven lied by saying it was.  He never apologized for lying cause the love is the lie- like Max said “boyfriends lie ALL THE TIME”. And it’s why the camera panned to Will when Lucas asked why Mike lied to her. And he never answers El’s question of ‘why do you lie?!’ (he just looks up silent and guilt ridden).This awkward kiss all happens in Will’s room too while Mike is in front of an open closet (while El is holding Will’s old bear).  

Plus he also fought with Hopper in s2 (’about El’) in Will’s room too. He wasn’t actually calling Hopper the liar he was calling himself “a stupid disgusting liar”out of self hate .  That scene was foreshadowing his lying to El in s3 (about his feelings for her). He blamed Hopper for his feelings for Will cause he told himself it wouldn’t have escalated if El had been around to ‘fix him’ . “I BLAME YOU! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK. YOU STUPID DISGUSTING liar, liar, liar, liar”.starts crying.

- Mike says “i never gave up on you (to El). “ When moments earlier he says “it took her just like it took Bob.” HE’S LYING AGAIN. He always thought she was dead -he was just hoping she was alive so he didn’t have to blame himself. He felt bad for treating her like a “weapon”. Mike saw El and didn’t even bother looking for her in the woods cause he assumed she was dead and was hallucinating. Mike saw Will’s dead body- but heard his voice and got him from another dimension (for El he couldn’t even bother to walk into the woods). Despite going into the woods in the pouring rain 2x for Will in s1& 3. El and Mike both call for Mike in the upside down (Mike in the same ep only comes for Will).

- They barely spoke to each other and all they did was makeout for 1 ep (while Mike put a drawing of ‘Will (the fire wielding) wise’ on the wall to help him kiss her/ with rainbows pic everywhere in the room to signify he’s gay and lying).  All while listening to a mixtape Will gave him as he kisses El.As Mike moves her hands off him (and sings a song from ‘boy in the box’) and El says to Max later she doesn’t know if mike’s a good kisser . And Mike rushes to one of his many established double-dates with Will and lumax  (x). And Mike in s3 when dating el, removes the sign of the heart being propelled by a rainbow (which he had before meeting El in his basement) .BUT it follows him symbolically ,as a drawing of a heart being propelled by a rainbow (in el’s room- cause no matter how much he kisses el there, he can’t escape his rainbow/being gay.)

-as mileven kiss in s3 e1. We zoom in on the drawing of Will the wise (the lyrics over the pic are “a little more time can open closing doors”). And then Mike continues to sing this song from ‘boy in the box’ (cough closet).Will in s3e1 says he won’t fall in love and the song then a diff song plays “love that was new to you , you open up the door.” mileven at the end of s3 kissing in front of Will’s open closet door with Mike’s eyes open not kissing back , and saying he doesn’t “ remember “ the love you and just says it was “in the heat of the moment”. The mike song being from “boy in the box” (closet). And they make out to “I can’t fight this feeling” which the singer says is about wanting to admit your feelings to your friend of many years and being afraid it’ll ruin the relationship. Aka even when kissing El he’s thinking of Will and admitting his feelings and not being able to fight his feelings

- Mike saying about Max “awesome? you don’t even know her.” Dustin says “ i don’t have to i mean look at her.” El was said in s1 multiple times to look like a boy (specifically Will). So Dustin and Lucas had no interest in her -only Mike did. BUT when max (a girl who looked like a girl) arrived- they as straight boys  were smitten. And Mike was not interested at all (cause he’s gay). The fact people don’t realize Mike was rude to her because he thought Will liked her too makes me laugh - he even was 1/2 honest in s3 saying he was jealous of her  XD 

why in s3 (when she looks like a girl) the compliment to her look is almost the same as Hopper’s comment to her makeover in s2. Paralleling Mike to her dad is the opposite of romantic!

-people say in s3 Will saying “a day free of girls” is gay coded but everyone ignores Mike in s3 saying “BOYS ONLY”. Same energy.

-MiKE has more rainbows than Will: Mike’s rainbow bedroom blinds, the rainbow-heart wooden sign in the basement in s1, the rainbow heart drawing that says Mike in s3, a rainbow sticker in his room, byler standing behind a rainbow poster in s2. And Will with the rainbow ship and the girl he danced with having a rainbow hearts-hairclip.

- People mention Mike saving El in s3 was romantic ( when he hit Billy). But when Billy slapped max he charged in to save her too and tried punching him (despite their beef). that moment wasn’t romantic (unless you think madweheeler is- which no). Mike is just a good person- he also risked his life for dustin. He’s brave and will defend HIS FRIENDS. 

- we’re almost to the end for those not keeping tract mileven is compared to stancy, ted/karen,  karen/billy, stobin, Dart/Dustin, max &mike, barb/nancy, nancy & dustin, siblings & cousins & a parent/kid dynamic. And contrasted to byler.

- Finn, after s1, said the duffers told him,   Mike thinks of her as a “puppy/ “et” , and that Mileven was a  “first summer love thing”- foreshadowing what was mileven’s downfall during the Summer (aka s3). He repeats this “first summer love” phrase 2x.  Millie when he mentioned what the duffers said, rightfully thought the puppy thing was “awful”, but Finn was clearly told mileven doesn’t last -very early on.Summer love” by definition fails-as it only lasts during the summer.  

-It wasn’t a break it was a breakup. Like Max and Will said in response to Mike  “ she said she dumped your ass! That doesn’t sound like a break?!/ it wasn’t!’ Or El knocking all the candy out of the machine, except the kit kat Mike wanted. Slogan of kit-kat “ having a break , have a kit kat.” In other words, it was NOT a break. It was a breakup. Difference is - in s4 it’ll be El who can’t accept this fact , not Mike. Max having to correct El that Mike is her “ex boyfriend” after the breakup (in s3) foreshadows this.The other couples in s3 who fought -were always still paired together in framed shots (jancy/ lumax) were on a break (but got back together- by the end of s3,  not confident about their futures together, but they still have a distinction from mileven-based on such framing). That mileven didn’t get back together. El in s3 was always on her own and Mike was paired with Will (while the other couples were in frame). 

this could go on and on honestly. there’s so much other stuff proving mileven is not going to be endgame. Not to mention all of Mike’s queer coding (x) XD   

[hamburgerhelpersotherhand]

Finally someone who writes for the Lost Boys! I’ve always been curious what it would be like for the boys to be yandere for the same girl, so could you write headcanons or a scenario on that? Thanks!

Kind of wild to imagine that a lot of the media that gave me nightmares growing up also fuels my darkest fantasies today.

ANYWAY, I originally wrote a lot more but took most of it out... because I realized I had a pretty good idea for a fic with these guys🤭 To try and make up, I added Star as a bonus.

Warnings: Possible dubcon??? idk anymore. It’s yandere vampires.

First of all, you’re human.

The Lost Boys probably picked you up at the boardwalk. They’re not exactly secretive about their attractions with each other, so after finding out they all had mutual interest in you, they made their move.

David is the leader, so naturally he gets first picks and the final word. It’s almost hard to imagine that any of the others would dare overstep the boundaries he has set... but they sometimes do.

However, I’d like to think David is the type to take a backseat and let his Lost Boys have at you, as opposed to locking you up for only himself. Maybe it’s because you’ve been annoying him or... maybe he just wants to see you cry.

Dwayne is the quiet one. He watches you, not necessarily from afar. He likes to be close and you don’t quite know why. One would think he’s trying to protect you, but he shows no problem in witnessing the others pull and grab at you.

He’s probably also the rougher of the four, unintentionally if I may add. He doesn’t mean to handle or hurt you the way he does, but he’s also not going to apologize.

Paul is a social butterfly. He likes to talk and was the easiest one to approach, but he’s almost equally as cruel. He’ll turn your trust into regret when you least expect it.

Though, he’s a little more romantic than the others. He would probably be the only one to get you a gift on your birthday, I’d imagine. No matter how shitty it is, he’d ask for something in return... almost like he believes he earned it for being so sweet.

Marko is a little hard to read. He’s similar to all of the boys, but sticks out by possibly being the one who lacks the most empathy. He’s younger and obviously picked up a lot from the others, especially Paul.

All of the boys are kind of sadistic bastards. They’ll keep you in their hideout, sometimes forget to feed you a real meal rather than just scraps or snacks, and they’ll disrespect your own sleeping schedule until you’ve adapted to theirs.

It’s dehumanizing to be treated like you can’t care for yourself, especially when they finally bring you outside. Someone’s eyes are always on you, they don’t forget you’re there, even if you feel invisible to everyone else.

I don’t think any of them have bitten you, or atleast they fight themselves not to. It’s difficult and they threaten it a lot, but David doesn’t want to break skin just yet. Of course, they don’t tell you that.

If you ever try to run away, they’ll wait till dark and hunt you down. It’s actually kind of fun and very thrilling for them, so they don’t necessarily enforce any measures to keep you from running! They love the chase, so why not leave some open doors?

Bonus Level:

Star is probably the friendliest of them all. She’s not in the same boat as you, but understands it nonetheless. Her freedom goes much further than yours, especially because she’s never completed her transition and remains a half-vampire.

She’s capable of leaving when she wants, but stays for you.

Whenever the guys aren’t around to toy with you, you stay glued to her hip.

You two probably sleep in the same bed together and, sure enough, your arms are just as wrapped up around her as hers are around you. It’s comforting when everything else around you has been beyond terrifying.

She’s protective and will defend you, but knows to step down when David gets involved.

If she could, she’d run away with you. But she knows what they’ll do to the both of you if they ever caught up.

[draculcid]

do you think it's fetishizing when a straight woman ships a mlm relationship? it happens less but as a wlw I don't think a straight man shipping a wlw relationship is fetishizing either. like even if they only read or write smut. I don't mind it as long as they aren't homophobic or disrespectful to lgbtq+ people

sorry if it's out of the blue lmao I just read your post about Billy hate blogs where you mention fetishizing so I got curious whatcha think

hello. before i talk about what I think, i just wanna say that i’m open to /constructive criticism/ on my ideas, and i’m willing to take responsibility if i say anything wrong. just please don’t attack me in my inbox lol.

okay!

first of all: shipping ≠ fetishizing 

i agree with the notion that if a straight woman only writes or reads smut, it’s not entirely fetishizing.

however, it becomes problematic if said woman is dehumanizing the character so that they just become their sexual orientation. and i mean, when the character just becomes a symbol of gay sex. a kink, pretty much. gay people shouldn’t be reduced to just a kink.

if a straight person writes or reads about gay ships PURELY for their pleasure, then that is fetishizing.

NOW. it’s also BAD when it begins to affect how they treat real life queer men.

i’ve only been in one relationship (with a man) and lemme tell ya. there is a ridiculous amount of people that go “your relationship is just like wattpad.” it sounds weird but it just makes your sexuality seem FICTIONAL. frankly, it is embarrassing. like, shipping m/m is fine, but you have to realize that gay people exist outside of fanfiction.

a lot of straight people also see any gay relationship and quickly turn it into their fictional ship. (like, for example; when someone sees a blond guy and a brunette dude holding hands in public, they just go “oH harringrove! billy and steve! woah! gay people!”)

that’s . weird. don’t do that. they’re real people and they don’t represent your fictional ship.

basically (IMO):

queer fictional ships are completely fine, no matter your sexual orientation or gender, ASSUMING you don’t put these two (or more) characters together for YOUR pleasure, and as long as you don’t turn it into uncomfortably shipping (or forcing something onto) real people.

-

oh and i wanna end this by saying that i think it’s okay to explore parts of your sexuality and gender identity through fanfiction. i think it helps a lot of people figure out that maybe they’re aren’t really straight. (:

[dirtydobrik]

too far - d.d.

requested: yes, i had two requests that were somewhat similar so i combined into one story! 1. You + all the VS are hanging and Jonah makes some rape joke (or something like that) and you yell at him and have a panic attack. The girls calm you down and then you open up to david (and maybe the girls + zane and heath) about your sexual assault. lots of angst and fluff and comfort and 2. can you do the reader snapping at david bc he laughs and eggs jonah on when he’s disrespectful to the female vlog squad members

word count: 1210

warnings: mentions and description of sexual assault, rape jokes

masterlist

"Jonah, what did you just say?" David asked, picking up his camera and pointing it on him. All your friends were over and once again, Jonah had taken a joke too far, both him and David failing to realize it.

"I knew a girl once who constantly kept rejecting me and then one night, when she was drunk, we finally hooked up."

"So you took advantage of her?" you asked, trying to keep calm.

"It's not rape if she liked it," Jonah joked and you could feel your blood boil.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you shouted, now on the verge of tears.

"Jesus, calm down. It's not like it happened to you," Jonah rolled his eyes, annoyed at what he thought was your overreaction. Your hands were trembling as you lifted one, ready to slap him across the face.

"Hey, it's not even worth it," Mariah whispered, slipping her hand around your waist and pulling you into the guest bedroom. Carly, Erin, and Corinna followed quickly behind you and locked the door behind them.

You sat down on the bed and let out a sob, Mariah sitting next to you and rubbing your back to help calm you down. Your breaths were shaky, your cheeks were tearstained, and your eyes were bloodshot.

"You're okay," Mariah whispered repeatedly, but that only made your cry harder.

None of the girls asked questions, even though you hadn’t told anyone besides Mariah about it. They knew you didn't want to talk and that you’d tell them if or when you were ready.

You heard a soft knock on the door, followed by David's voice. "Baby, can we talk?" he asked from the other side of the door. You shook your head, even though David couldn’t see you.

"Dave, go away," Corinna said. "She'll talk to you when she's ready."

"Thank you," you whispered. You really weren't in the mood to talk to your boyfriend who had just let his friend make a joke that disrespected and dehumanized women for his YouTube channel.

"Of course," Corinna replied with a sympathetic smile.

A little while later, you had finally calmed down and had even fallen asleep. All four girls had stayed by your side, none of them wanting to leave you alone in your fragile state.

"Hey, how are you?" Erin asked when you opened your eyes.

"Better," you smiled, standing up to go find David. You wanted to talk to him about what happened earlier and in the past.

You walked into the living room to find him editing, the girls following behind you. Zane and Heath asleep on the couch with him.

"Dave, can we talk?" you asked, glancing around the room. "Alone."

David stood up and followed you into his room, scared to say anything in fear that it would upset you.

"So, about earlier," you started, taking a deep breath. "I need to tell you something serious, okay?" 

David nodded.

"You might want to sit down for this," you said and David listened, sitting on the edge of his bed next to you.

You kept your eyes low, too ashamed to make eye contact with him. "My second year of college I was raped," you rushed out, your voice in a low whisper. You swallowed a lump in your throat as tears rolled down your face. David wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, hugging you and holding you tight. And you wished that was all he had said. You wish he would've just dropped the subject and just comforted you. But that didn't happen.

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have let Jonah make any of those jokes and I would've been more gentle with you," David rambled.

"I'm not broken, Dave. I don't need to be treated any differently just because a guy took advantage of me when I was drunk. And you shouldn't let Jonah, or anyone for that matter, make those kinds of jokes. They're disgusting and vile and so many people in this world deal with sexual assault. It's not anything to joke about," you spat. You were angry. Angier than you thought you would be, but you needed to talk about this.

"I know that it isn't," David sighed.

"Oh, do you really?" you snapped. "Or would you have put the clip of Jonah from last night in your vlog if we weren't having this conversation right now?"

"That's not fair," David protested, answering your question without actually giving you an answer.

"Yes, it is!" you shouted. "You would've used a joke that glorified sexual assault and not have seen any issue with it and that's the fucking problem. You egg people on, especially Jonah, and let them make disrespectful comments that you see as a joke. You don’t realize that they affect people that have gone through the situations you joke about!"

You were mad and frustrated at him and you didn't know what to do.

You ran out of the bedroom and into the living room, where Zane and Heath were awake and joined by the girls. All of them were sitting in silence, clearly having heard you yelling at David.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Carly asked, and you nodded. You sat on the couch between Carly and Zane, both of them holding you tightly, while Corinna and Erin grabbed one of your hands.

"I was in my second year of college and I had just joined a sorority, so we had parties with different frats. I had too much to drink during one of these parties and I'm not sure what else happened that night, but I was woke up in a room I didn't recognize with no clothes on. I don't know what happened that night because I was so wasted and for the longest time I blamed myself." You stopped talked to swallow a sob and Erin squeezed your hand for support. "I know now that it wasn't my fault and it took me a long time to realize that."

You watched Corinna blinking back tears and pulled her in for a hug, her tears now streaming down her face.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

You held back tears as Mariah told you she was proud of you for being able to talk about it and Zane called you brave. You were thankful to have friends who cared about you so much. You felt loved and supported as you sat on the couch, engulfed in their hugs.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw David standing against the black mirror painting in the hallway. His eyes were bloodshot and when you locked eyes on you he opened his mouth to apologize, but he couldn't find the right words. Everything he wanted to say didn’t seem like enough.

He walked over to you and held you in a tight hug, his hand rubbing your back. "I love you, and I'm so sorry," he whispered, holding you tightly and kissing the top of your head.

You were still beyond pissed off and angry at him but right now you didn't care. You just wanted to hug your boyfriend and have him stand by and support you.  

[outgrowings]

hi i saw your post about aot and i wanted to hear more thoughts. to disclose im still a bit of a fan but i agree with some stuff you said. and i think its great your post has so many notes to talk about important issues. i promise i only mean to have a discussion and i mean no disrespect. also i apologize for bad english. i think my main question wouldnt we still hate the nazis of the story either way? that no matter what they shouldnt have did what they did to eldians? (1)

i won't post the rest of the ask bc it has aot spoilers, but the main point of that post is that whatever anti-oppression and anti-racist theme that the mangaka tries to give has still dehumanized the eldians IN their first appearance, because the lore of the eldians is introduced a bit later to make us realize that they were humans too. which is a problem.

if someone wanted to make an oppression allegory story, maybe he shouldn't have made them into monsters in the beginning. depicting an oppressed ethnic group as man-eating monsters is insulting to people who could spot similarities between themselves and the eldians, whether it be a group that has a history being victims of nazi germany or the victims of japanese imperialism. the series may have shown how shitty the malreyans are to their own subordinates and the eldians, and how eldians were experimented on even if they weren't doing anything. the intention of the author is there to make us sympathize on the eldians, but it's not just about intention. it's about how he made the eldians inhuman in the first place as an introductory guide to the worldbuilding of aot, because we know them as scary titans first and eldians later. it's disrespectful. especially since we only witness the eldian origins in part 2, and if jewish ppl are already uncomfortable with part 1, then it's not really a good allegorical story.

and if it's not nazi propaganda, then it still is heavily connected to japanese imperialism. and if the malreyans are supposed to be a critique on how bad the japanese military is, then depicting the victims of imperial japan (korea, china, southeast asian countries) a bunch of uncontrollable, uncivilized monsters is equally as terrible. revealing the lore of the eldians is still unsalvageable for his depiction of an oppressed ethnic group when it's revealed too late.

it's not about who we root for, it's how he drew and wrote the eldians from the start. especially after the whole conspiracy theory where grisha reveals that they wanted to take over the world, which is why the malreyans fought back. (essentially, giving out a "justifiable" excuses to continue the genocide of a people. there is nothing justifying about genocide. nazi germany didn't have one, they just hated on jewish ppl, yet isayama gave an excuse for the lore.) when it comes down to it, he decided to make an ethnic group inhuman. we are supposed to hate the bad guys, we are supposed to root for the eldians, but in the end, isayama made them monsters first before he revealed them as humans.

[justjimedits]

Why Scott McCall Is Teen Wolf’s Worst Character

There is this notion in the Scott/Posey fandom that they can do and say whatever they want. When Derek and Stiles fans called them out for harassing a Teen Wolf fan who had the audacity to dislike Scott McCall, the Scott McCall defense squad defended their own disgusting behavior by whining that “they disrespected Scott McCall in the general tags.” The problem with that is that these are the same bullies who would go into full-on attack mode if you dared post anything even remotely critical of Scott McCall in the anti Scott McCall tag.

I’ve seen these people post their anti Derek, Stiles, Sterek - pro Scott crap in the “Derek Hale”, “Stiles Stilinski” and “Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski” tags on purpose.

Scott/Posey stans act as if the truth is determined by how loud and toxic they are. Since Stiles and Derek are the fan favorites, the stars of the show, and they overshadowed Scott from the day one without even even trying, then they can do as they please, even harassing Teen Wolf fans and dropping into the Stiles Stilinski or Derek Hale tag to say how much they hate the character.

I personally feel that the reason behind his is that antis identify with Scott so much that if you dare criticize Scott’s canonical abusive actions and behavior, they feel you’re insulting them. They have bought into the wish fulfillment that Scott McCall represents.

Scott McCall represents the idea that you can treat everyone around you like crap, you can insult people, invade their privacy, emotionally or physically lash out at them when you’re upset, but as long as you’re in a position of power and arguably charismatic, people will still love you and treat you like you’re a hero and the bestest friend ever. It doesn’t matter how much you hurt the people around you, because the entire power fantasy is that people will accept your behavior, and instead of asking you to apologize, they’ll instead apologize to you, even for the most minor meaningless slight, because only your feelings and your emotions matter.

It’s what has made characters like Scott McCall so popular among the antis, no matter what show they are on. And why this particular trope, the Average Whiny Asshole With A Plot Armor, is only popular when played by an attractive guy.

Of course, in antis’ fan fictions, Scott McCall will have most of their canon traits (such as violence, jealousy, possessiveness, bigotry, entitlement, and cruelty) removed, because as much as Scott Stans love Scott McCall for being a toxic asshole and getting away with it, they understand they can never admit that. So they turn Scott into a self insert Mary Sue and give him all the positive traits stolen from the Teen Wolf characters who they claim to despise.

This conceals the fact that they liked Scott McCall exactly because of his lack of positive character growth, including his utter refusal to acknowledge that his abusive actions and behavior have consequences even if he manages to hide them or blame others for them.

Scott spent six seasons using his friends and victims as a cover for his actions, and no one ever held him accountable for what he did. The production ended up with a character who is stuck in the same static condition he was in the pilot: a character who never gets to learn or improve any part of himself. By the end of the show, Scott McCall is still the same whiny, cruel, bigoted, entitled asshole that he was when he first showed up on the show. The very same boy who thinks that the hunters had a valid reason to slaughter the Hales, lashes out at his best friend, and then lives out his Werewolf Jesus fantasies and delusions of grandeur through his friends’ suffering.

Instead of growing, Scott got reasons he should be allowed to be an asshole. He lies because “he has to”. He’s violent because “You may be an alpha, but you are not mine!” He’s abusive because his victims provoke him. He’s cruel because he is a werewolf. He’s jealous and possessive because he’s in love.

With characters like Scott McCall, the point isn’t for him to improve and overcome his problems. It’s for other characters to make allowances for his problems. In its fan service, the show let him stay the same entitled little boy he always was. Even in the final episode, he gleefully ruins his friends’ chance to have a life outside of him and of Beacon Hills just because he needs their help to save his own cowardly ass once again. Scott literally ends the show being his usual toxic self and recruiting traumatized children to fight his own battles. Hell, the rare times Scott did show character growth, like finally admitting he’s utterly useless when left to his own devices, his stans reacted with anger, because how dare they have Scott admit he can’t even plan his way out of paper bag without his smarter than everyone friends’ constant help and support?!

This leads to Season 5, where Scott once again lashed out at Stiles, blamed Stiles for his own mistakes, dehumanized Stiles for defending himself against his abuser, gaslit Stiles, tried to isolate Stiles from his support system, accused Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and a serial killer, and then acted as if he was the victim. And then of course Scott lies and plays up an injury that had long healed for six episodes straight just to convince his friends not to abandon him again because “I healed when we were together again. Where we were pack.” That is exactly what Scott/Posey fans wanted though: a character who can get away with this crap yet still be seen as a woobie and hero at the same time.

Then people wonder why Teen Wolf fans, critics, and viewers (and the actors themselves) come to despise Scott McCall and see him as everything wrong in fandom. It’s because Scott brought down the show by undermining its themes and other characters whenever the show, due to Posey’s jealous fits and temper tantrums, let him get away with the things like attacking Corey and plotting Josh and Tracy’s murder begins everyone’s back. When the show let him constantly insult Stiles and Derek, without giving Stiles and Derek a chance to push back at him. When the show let Scott abuse Isaac, and acted as if it was okay for Scott to do so because it was done in a humorous way. When the show let Scott sell Derek and his Pack out to Gerard and then justify it. When the show let Scott sacrifice Erica and Boyd to look good in Allison’s eyes and never called him out on it. When the show let Scott be abusive, and mean, and a bully, and acted as if those scenes were ok because Scott was a “true alpha”.

When you dare to criticize Scott’s abusive behavior, his delusional squad will excuse it by yelling “but Scott is a Mexican boy!” (he is not), or “Scott is depressed!” (he is not), or “Scott is poor!” (he is not), or “Scott is the most important character of Teen Wolf!” (he is not), as if that somehow makes Scott’s behavior okay, never realizing how racist and insulting that is to real Mexican people who aren’t complete assholes to everyone around them the way that Scott is.

[whumpsideblog]

14 Days

Part One//Part Two

The next day the hero brought him a surprise. He entered the room, telling him it was a gift, and Sidekick already knew not to trust whatever the metal ring in his hands was. However, he did nothing to struggle away when it was clasped tightly around his neck, small prongs in the inside making it incredibly uncomfortable. 

 “You really like this whole pet idea, huh? Collaring me and everything. Weirdo.” He muttered, avoiding the hero’s gaze. His throat was hoarse by now, he’d been up all night coughing and hacking up blood. 

 “You’re too defiant, and it’s getting annoying.” Hero said bluntly. “This is more for your sake than anything, my patience is wearing thin and I need to control you somehow. I have a remote to trigger it, however certain words and phrases can do so as well.”

 “Control me?! Good fucking- agh!” He was cut off by a sudden and intense shock from the collar, his whole body seizing up. It was over just as quick as it started, leaving him stunned and confused.

 “Yes that’s another thing. Your profanity is absolutely out of control, so swear words will also trigger it.” Hero grinned down at him. “It’s quite a genius design, really.” 

 “You’re a terrible person.” Sidekick glared at him. “I hope Villain uses those god awful videos to show the people what a monster you are, torturing a poor, powerless victim.” 

 “Oh please.” Hero rolled his eyes. “If Villain wants to see you again then he wouldn’t do something so stupid. Not to mention you aren’t a “poor, powerless victim”, you know that. You’re just as guilty as he is, just as deserving of punishment as he is. However, I’ve been thinking about trying something different…”

 “Different…?” Sidekick frowned, he knew this wouldn’t be good.

 “Yes, instead of punishment, I was thinking more along the lines of… training. I hear that you’re very intelligent, you could be very valuable to have around. Not to mention, Villain doesn’t seem to be coming around, in fact, he doesn’t seem to even know you’re missing-“

 “You’re wrong!” Sidekick snapped abruptly. “He… he wouldn’t just… not notice… the poor idiot is probably worried sick right now… he’s probably going mad looking for me…” He needed to believe that, he needed to hold on to the idea that Villain cared enough to search for him, cared enough to want to see him again.

  “Don’t interrupt me.” Hero said sternly, using a small remote to activate the collar again. Sidekick let out a shrill scream, the sudden convulsions doing nothing to help his aching ribs. The shock stopped and his scream was cut off by harsh, body wracking coughs, he spit a mouthful of blood on to the floor, struggling to breathe. Hero knelt down in front of him, for once getting on his level, roughly grabbing his face. “If he cared about you so much, then why hasn’t he given me what I wanted? You clearly mean less than whatever he’s gotten his hands on.”

 “He… he’s probably busy… he’s probably figuring something out… I don’t know, i just know he has to be looking for me.”

 “And what if he isn’t? What if the 14th day passes and there’s no word from him and you are deserted here?”

 “You… you said you would kill me…” he frowned. 

 “I did. But honestly, that would be a waste of your talents. If I could get some use out of you then it’s worth it to keep you alive, you just need the proper training.”

 “What do you mean by training? What the… what would I have to be trained for?” He asked. He wasn’t considering it, but he had a feeling whether he consented or not Hero was going to make some use of him. 

 “Well, naturally I’d have to train this insufferable disobedience out of you. You need to learn your place, learn your manners, honestly Villain should’ve done this for me already, I can’t believe he’d keep such a disrespectful sidekick.” Hero shook his head, getting back up.

 “Villain doesn’t treat me like an animal. We’re equals.” He said seriously. 

 “And that’s his mistake. Someone so low needs to show their master more respect. Even if he does get you back he should be grateful for the work I’m going to put into you.” Hero said with a grin. “I was thinking we should work on your manners first.”

***

 Villain was exhausted, that much was for sure. He hadn’t slept much at all since Sidekick had gone missing, and that was only made worse when he’d received the first video from Hero. Seeing Sidekick in such a dangerous situation, seeing how adamantly he wanted Villain to keep the information he had, he didn’t know what to do. He knew he had to get sidekick out of there but he also knew he just couldn’t give everything up.

 He’d known for a long time now, Hero was up to something. Even if he was  the “bad guy” he had to draw the line somewhere, and when he began to suspect that Hero was the cause of many recent catastrophes, most of which were blamed on Villain, he started looking for a way to prove that. 

 It was Sidekick who found all the evidence in the end. Though he may not have had powers of his own, he was a genius, especially when put in front of a computer. Though Villain had urged him not to, he pulled many all nighters in order to get everything, he skipped meals and hardly left his room but he was so determined to prove Hero guilty. Even though he scolded him, Villain was proud of him, grateful that he would work so hard for him. He’d sent him back to their shared apartment, telling him to get some rest and tomorrow he’d take him out, no masks or powers or heroes and villains involved, just two normal people spending a night out together. 

 And then he’d disappeared. Villain didn’t worry too much at first, in fact, he figured he was in his room sleeping most of the time. He finally went to check on him around noon and found his bedroom empty, looking as if no one had touched it. That’s when he began to panic.

 It was around eight pm that night when he received the first video, a window that suddenly popped up on his computer. What bothered him most was that it was his home computer, though him and hero had contacted each other countless times, he always made sure it was only done through computers at his base. Hero should’ve never known where he lived. 

 He was luckily awake when the third video came through, just barely anyway as it was incredibly late. He was on his third cup of coffee, staring blankly at the screen when the window appeared, he was so desperate to see Sidekick alive he didn’t hesitate to click it. 

 He felt sick seeing him like this, on his knees with a collar around his neck. His shirt had been torn open, Villain could see the bruises littering his torso, big dark splotches against his pale skin. His blue eyes were big, hopeless, scared, Villain just wanted to grab him and hold him. He wanted to protect him, more than he’d ever wanted to protect someone before. 

  “You’re going to behave now, right mutt?” Though he wasn’t in the frame, Hero’s voice was clear. Sidekick kept his eyes on the floor, refusing to look up.

 “Y-yes sir…” He murmured. A light went off on the collar and he suddenly screamed, arching his back. It went on, ten, twenty, thirty seconds before the light turned off, leaving Sidekick gasping for breath. His breathing sounded off, not what Villain expected, his fears confirmed when sidekick coughed hard, coughing up a great deal of blood. It was a horrible thing to watch but Villain couldn’t look away.

 “Look at me when I’m talking to you!” Hero snapped. Sidekick reluctantly lifted his head, looking to wherever hero stood.

 “Yes sir… I… I’m sorry, master…” He said slowly, his voice hoarse. 

 “There's a good boy.” Hero sounded amused, and Villain’s heart broke when he saw how Sidekick flinched away. “You know what happens when you disobey, right?” The question must’ve been rhetorical, Sidekick wasn’t given a chance to answer before the collar lit up again, he let out a shrill scream as he was shocked. Villain had to tear his eyes from the screen, he couldn’t keep watching him shake and convulse, blood running down his arms in rivets from the cuffs cutting into his wrists. 

 The screaming finally stopped, Villain reluctantly looked back to the screen. Sidekick didn’t look too good, blood running down from the corners of his mouth, he was struggling to breathe and his eyes were darting around frantically.

 “Sidekick.” Hero said sternly, and Sidekick quickly looked up to him. “What do you say?” 

 “Th-thank you… sir…” He said slowly, almost hopefully.

 Something snapped in Villain at that, at hearing him tearfully and hopefully thank the person causing him so much pain. He had jumped up from his chair, already looking around for something to take his anger out on. He didn’t even realize the lights were dimming fast, he was close to causing another blackout in his building again.

 He knew he needed to calm down, but he was furious, he was furious and scared. He hated the way hero spoke to Sidekick, demeaning him, dehumanizing him, no one had the right to treat his sidekick in such a humiliating manner. He never ordered his sidekick to call him sir or master or anything ridiculous like that. They were partners, a pair of equals, and nobody was allowed to treat him as lesser. 

 He had to stop this, he thought as he anxiously paced his bedroom. He needed to save him but if he gave up everything he had even more people would get hurt, innocent people with no role in all of this nonsense, it was too much for even villain to accept. However, if he tried to make it public, hero would do his worst to sidekick, if he killed him he was going to make it hurt, and no one would care because Sidekick was on his side and everyone would assume that he deserved it.

 No matter what though he had to do something, he had to get Sidekick out of there

[kissmethroughthebone]

i still get annoyed thinking about that girl who i told about sugaring that basically fucked a guy several times for free...... without bothering to discuss any sorta allowance or gifts she wanted.... her goals.... all he did was give her a fruit plate and weed and she went "alright this qualifies" and fucked him. on one hand, happy for her since she was struggling through a breakup and wanted good sex. BUT not happy when she openly ignored all of the safety advice, AND had the nerve to claim she wanted a sugar daddy so we could both move into our own place together.

ive had some foolish run-ins or near run ins before, and definitely even teetered the line between sugaring and escorting a lot, (sugaring on fetlife, lol luckily naive little me never did that before i found the community here,) even had a few of my own dangerous situations. (i know, dumb of me to sugar out of desperation, or to do PPMs that were "directly sex", but, eh.)

BUT i still knew what to do and what not to do. so it is frustrating, spending days giving a girl safety advice and how to score a potential whale, and this bitch goes to the house of a RANDOM MAN AT MIDNIGHT in lingerie with jeans over it, in an entirely different city, with the first guy that goes "i dont like sugar babies that do it for financial gain or social status"...... (she literally was braindead for that.)

she even got an attitude with me for caring about her safety, since she waited until like 2pm the next day to bother letting me know that she had been safe..... bitch. :(

Anyway. At least I cut her out my life. Plus, everyone sugars different. When I was younger, of course getting like 400 just to have dinner and sleep with an old man seemed great.

And of course, everyone was impressed when I was young.

But.... eh.

I guess it is annoying, or at least now that I actually have fully clear skin, a nice wardrobe, and nicely done hair and wigs for the bad hair day. Since now, 400 dollars just seems... so low?

And then paired with how gross and entitled the men are. Even a supposedly mega rich guy. And certain dehumanizing shit. (Just ugh....)

And my most recent SD ended up giving me tons more money, even up to 800 dollars? Just a kiss and a hand hold.

And the realization of "You CAN treat sugaring like dating, you know.... If they act weird, gross, treat you funny, are boring or inappropriate, you CAN move on." (Harder to do when not desperate, but still very valuable.)

And then realizing how many men I've gotten things from just for being gorgeous and uninterested... made me also realize to get in where I can fit in. No more creepy bastards with poor hygiene or people who disrespect my boundaries. (I still loathe the time I let that one man DROOL into my mouth, and seriously question if he did that just to be disgusting and to spite me, or was he just THAT idiotic in terms of how kissing worked..... His tongue was fully white, and I didn't notice till after, aaaand got severely ill at me swallowing at least THREE mouthfuls of his drool.... Gross. I wish I just drooled it all back into his, to see how HE liked it. Fucking. Gross. Or that other man who literally unprovoked started to make out with my armpit, then KISS ME AFTER LICKING IT, giving me a gross mouthful of old man slobber, Degree Mens deodorant, and armpit sweat...)

So i think im gonna make the transition to just a spoiled girlfriend.

Because if the world is so fucked that men only like me with my clothes on and me actively seducing them while rejecting them, then, so be it.

Also..... too many men mix up sugaring and a proper escort. Since even if i do also have sex with them, itll be pulling teeth to get them to talk about themselves or ask me shit, (i plan to call more men out on their inability to hold a conversation,) and then oh so quick for them to try and have phone sex or whatever... it's just super gross.

I forgive myself for what I naively allowed back in 2019. I was a newbie, uninformed, alone, and pretty desperate.