#do you ever feel like everything you do is a bad imitation of all the other people and that youre failing and everyone around you can tell
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Caught 2
Pairing: Lighter Lorenz x Reader
Summary: You take care of Lighter after your session and he has a nightmare.
Warnings: Allusion to previous sexual activities, nightmares
Notes: Ok this is gonna be bad im writing this at 1 am publishing with no proof reading. I'll look over it tmrw.... have fun!
The next time you wake up, only an hour or so must have passed. Bleary, you open your eyes. You see Lighter's face- his expression still somewhat fucked out- his eyes closed and mouth slightly open. He doesn't move when you quietly call out his name.
Your room still has the same shitty curtains that let in sunlight even if they're closed, the same cutesy, fluffy carpet that Lucy insisted you needed to have and the same furniture you took great care to choose and buy from folks who simply needed money. An uncomfortable feeling spreads in you. A mix of your muscles screaming at you, your head pounding because of an insufficient amount of sleep and a healthy dose of half dried stickiness from where you're still covered in cum.... Right. That should probably be cleaned.
Groaning, you get up as gently as you can, to avoid waking Lighter up. Then you make your way to a small bathroom that you managed to shoehorn into the already small room. Wetting a cloth with warm water, you wipe yourself off first. It'd be great if you had your own shower, but the sink and toilet were already trouble enough.
After washing the cloth off, you wet it again. Sitting down at the edge of the bed, you stare at Lighter for a moment. The last beams of sunlight stream into your room, illuminating his face just right. His hair glints with a golden hint, his face more relaxed than you've ever seen it while awake. His lips parted, letting out soft snores every once in a while. The scars covering his body can only make you wonder what kind of life he's lived up until now.
Of course, you managed to roughly piece together bits and pieces to get a full picture but... You sigh. Perhaps you will never understand the full extent of the suffering he had, and likely still has, to endure.
For now though, you focus on wiping him down with the cloth.
Pulling back, you observe him once more. His chest still rises frequently and deeply, so he doesn't seem to have woken up. A bit of cum still remains on his side, right in the corner between his body and the bedsheets. You consider moving him to clean, but he's probably too heavy for you. So you satisfy youself with wiping the corners anyway and pushing down the bedding to get everything. After you're done, you wash the cloth off and hang it up to dry. You can wash it properly with the rest of your laundry.
Strewn about clothes from both you and Lighter cover the room. Picking all of them up, you fold them as neatly as you can and place them on the side. You consider putting on boxers, but since he's not wearing any, it's probably fine not to wear any either.
For the third time, you sit down to observe Lighter. Nothing has changed from his previous state. Perhaps it's your headache or your muscle ache that makes your brain so foggy you have to sit down before you continue your tasks.
But before you can move to lie down again, Lighter's chest starts moving up and down faster, almost erratically. On top of that, his limbs twitch, almost clenching his fists. His face scrunches up, seemingly in pain. It's obvious he's having a nightmare. You freeze; what the hell are you supposed to do in a situation like this?
He doesn't give you any time to think, becuase he lets out an awful sounding moan. You vaguely recall someone else comforting their beloved, so you decide to imitate that. Embracing him, you lie on top of him and wind your arms around him. You pepper his face with kisses, throwing in mumbles of "I love you" and "It's fine, it's okay. No one's hurting you" in. Vaguely, you recall one of your parents comforting you like this. Though by this point they're already gone.
It seems to work, as his breathing calms down soon after that, his expression and muscles relax. You're surprised, but he continues sleeping like nothing happened.
Your heart clenches at the thought that he had to endure this all by himself. You press another gentle kiss to his face, a tear escaping you. You sniffle a little and try to distract yourself by sorting out the muddled together blanket and covering both of you with it. With the headache you already have, crying would be fatal for you. So you manage to successfully suppress your outburst and lie down next to him, falling into a dreamless slumber.
#lighter x reader#lighter zzz x reader#lighter lorenz x reader#god i forgot i wrote not smut this time and wanted to tag it as such bruh#fuck... what else do i tag guys#ah#zzz x reader#zenless zone zero x reader#haha suck my dick
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im probably aromantic but i have a degree to finish so idrc about that rn
#also even if i am i will. not be using this word probably#bc ultimately i really dont care its more just that im trying to figure out if its common to not have had a crush on anyone ever#maybe once??? when i was 15?? but im not sure#but this may just be my inability to form relationships in general#bc i assume its not worth it since its not like theyre eve going to last#like apart from my family i only ever had one relationship that master more that 3 years#and my relationship i dont mean a romantic one im counting friendships in this too#and so i dont. think of people as something that will last in my life#and thats probably a huge part why i rarely go out with anyone like its just not worth it#im gonna get attatched and then sad when it inevitably goes to shit bc im unable to engage people#do you ever feel like everything you do is a bad imitation of all the other people and that youre failing and everyone around you can tell#that youre not really a person#would maybe be fun if i wasnt also insanely boring and annoying to be around
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UPDATING MY OZZIE AND FIZZ HEADCANONS 😁
ASMODUES
- Ozzie spoils his significant others. He loves to see them happy. Literally anything you want you get no questions asked!
- ( i don’t know what I was on when I said fizz could cook forgive me ) Ozzie tries to make breakfast whenever he isn’t to busy in the morning! And he lets them ramble on about whatever they want to!
- he’s super supportive of you and whatever your profession is! He doesn’t take disrespect towards his partners. You can dress as sluty or as comfy as you want. No judgement.
- he just tends to sit back and watch the chaotic things you and fizz do and get into. as long as your both not hurt in the process. If so then you’ll be (very lightly) scolded! Be careful next time.
- you’re really only seen next to Gina me fizz. He’s a sin fizz is super popular and you may be to depending on what your profession is. It’s just the best way to keep you safe honestly. You all go on trips whenever y’all wanna get out of the house tho. He lets you both choose we’re to go.
- ozzie checks up on fizz to make sure his limbs are functioning and while the smaller imp bounces around you sometimes cuddle fizz while he waits. Ozzie thinks it’s really cute.
- asmodeus is REALLY bad at keeping your relationship a secret. Yet so is fizz so it’s alright. They can’t hide the way they look at each other! And you of course. Ozzie has been caught on camera making lovey eyes to many times to count. 😭
- he’s always down to fuck if your up for it. It’s pretty easy to get him going. As we saw a good pair of puppy eyes and a smooth big daddy and your good. 👍🏽
Fizzarolli
- he’s so silly. Like actually. He’s all over you and flirting non stop! You can barely keep ‘em off you. He loves quality time and physical touch.
- he runs off of praise and attention from both you and ozzie. He’ll roll over and play dead of left to his own devices for to long.
- you and Ozzie watch in awe as he fusses over his little girls. He pampers his little pets like no other. He has the most fun during walks and bath time! They get water all over the place and he loves whipping his skates out! (Doesn’t want him skating in the mansion.)
- random fashion shows. He loves showing off all of his outfits and stuff. Different hats and everything. He even convinces Ozzie to get him different color limbs for when he wants to match em with the current color.
- he curls up on which ever of you is close when he’s tired. Just slings himself onto you honestly. But be careful! Sometimes it’s a trick. 💀 he’ll nip at you when you let your guard down and run off while giggling the little shit 😭
- Ozzie randomly hums and sings and he randomly imitates different horns and loud instruments. Fizz has made a beat out of his horns before.
- he still pulls pranks. Like screaming in your ear to wake you up in the morning. He’s been fussed at to many times for this so now he uses his horns. (Yay?)
- blushes when shown genuine affection or compliments but turns his head away to hid the blush if in public and regain his composure.
- a total show off but who’s surprised.
- fizz gets turned on if your protective of him. Especially if you can fight. Ozzie is more lax if he knows you can take care of yourself and fizz. But fizz brags about how safe he feels and how sexy it is that you get so worked up over his safety.
#fizzarolli#asmodeus#fizzarolli x reader#asmodeus x reader helluva boss#helluva boss#helluva boss x reader#asmodeus x reader#asmodeus helluva boss
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do you miss us? ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
sirius black x fem!reader
summary: james wants to ask lily out, but she can't because she's always with y/n, so sirius decides to help him a little, that means spending a little time with his ex girlfriend.
warnings: a lil bit of angst! and then fluff! sirius and reader used to date, and a lot of jily!
word count: 2.5 k
a/n: hi everyone, hope you are doing great, this is literally my first post ever! i'm excited but at the same time i find everything super weird, i'm trying to settle in so i'm sorry for any mistakes, i hope to improve!
───❃•❃•❃───
Sirius was a bit fed up with James if he was honest, not to be misunderstood, he adores James with all his heart but he just wouldn't shut up about Lily. The worst part was that he wouldn't ask her out, he could talk about her all day but he wouldn't make a single attempt to ask her to Hogsmeade or anything.
"I understand how much you like her, Prongs, I just don't understand why you don't ask her out, it doesn't have to be anything exotic, you know?" Sirius fiddled with his wand, sitting on the couch in the common room.
"Because she's with y/n all the time! Lily's never alone, I can never get to talk to her, you know, alone" James sighed dropping his body into the chair at the table.
Y/n. It was even a little hard for him to think about her, they hadn't ended in the worst possible way, it just didn't work out the way they would have liked it to in the first place. They had only broken up a couple of months ago, sometimes he thought he missed her, the times he didn't miss her it was because he convinced himself that he didn't, but however! They were still friends… Or something like that, at least he hoped so.
"Well, interrupt them, I don't think y/n would mind you stealing Lily away for a bit" Sirius rolled his eyes.
James plopped down at the table, giving an exaggerated sigh "This is it, we're never going to date, or get married, or have kids, or-"
Sirius interrupted him laughing "What are you talking about? Calm down mate, it's not as bad as you think" Sirius got up, sat down next to James and gave him a little pat on his shoulder "Look, at the weekend we're all going to Hogsmeade, there you can buy her a drink or go for a walk, yeah? You're not finished."
───❃•❃•❃───
It was already the weekend! You were extremely excited as you hadn't been out to Hogsmeade for weeks, there had been so much homework and exams lately that there was no time for anything. An outing like this was a huge respite.
"Look, sour popsicles! James used to give me these in first year" Lily showed you the little colourful lollipops. Just now you were in Honeydukes buying sweets out of hand. It was going to be Marlene's birthday soon and you wanted to throw her a big party.
You gave a little chuckle. "Yeah, let's take those too" You thought it was a bit funny how much Lily talked about James, she did, even if it was unconscious, James here, James there! It didn't bother you though, it was nice to see her denying it.
"What are you laughing at?" Lily asked you with a frown.
"Oh! James used to buy me these! He's so cute! I want to marry him!" You mimicked her laughing.
"What are you talking about? I never said that, I don't even talk like that! Pretty bad imitation of you, huh?" Lily was completely offended, which again made you laugh.
"Oh, hi, James!" You said looking behind Lily, as if James was there, which he wasn't. You just liked to tease Lily.
Lily turned around quickly, arranging her hair, nervously. "Where did you see him? I can't find him." Lily searched for James with her eyes.
"Come on, Lily" You said laughing as you gave her an obvious look.
Lily turned to you, noticing your stare. "Oh leave me alone." Lily's gaze dropped a little, which worried you a little.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad." You patted her shoulder a little in apology.
You played this way with Lily all the time, it never bothered her, you don't know what her sudden sadness is about.
"Don't worry, it's not that, it's just- I don't know, do you think James likes me? I mean, I know he always jokes about it, but he's never tried to go out with me, we've never even had a conversation alone."
"Lily, are you kidding me? All of Hogwarts knows that James Potter has an absolute and complete crush on Lily Evans" You laughed a little, which caused her to laugh too. "Come on, Li, don't be put off by that! He's probably even around, all of us students came, I don't think he's the exception."
Lily smiled gratefully at you "You're right. Thank you, sweetheart."
Suddenly, James appeared behind Lily, this time in earnest.
"What's up, Potter?" you greeted the brunet, not to mention that your ex-boyfriend was standing next to him.
"Listen, Y/n, I don't think it's funny a second time," Lily demanded.
"A second time of what?" James asked behind Lily, giving her the fright of her life.
"James!" Lily shrieked. "Lily!" James shouted back, imitating her.
As the two of them frolicked around as they always did, you shared a couple of glances with the black-haired boy next to James. You examined him a little better, you hadn't seen him in a couple of days, he was wearing his white shirt with the first few buttons open revealing a bit of his chest, he had half his hair up, a little longer than he had when you were done, his eyes looked greyer than they normally did. He looked good. He always did.
"Hello," you said, giving him an uncomfortable look. It was a little hard to meet those eyes that were once yours.
"Uh, hi…" He responded in kind. He was having a hard time seeing your eyes, which were once his.
You don't know at what point Lily and James ended whatever conversation they were having, but Lily turned to you. "I'm doing some shopping with Y/n, sorry" Lily apologised to James.
"But Y/n doesn't mind, do you?" James said looking at you, you looked back at him wanting to know what the hell he was supposed to be talking about. Maybe, just maybe, you missed a lot in the pale boy in front of you.
"Umm, sorry I- I wasn't listening" you stammered a little looking at them.
"James was just telling me that, if we could go to The Three Broomsticks, but you know we're buying Marlene's birthday stuff and I don't want to leave you alone" Lily said looking at the floor.
You realised that this was the opportunity Lily had been waiting for a long time. "Are you kidding? It's fine, it's perfect, don't worry about me, we don't have much shopping to do anyway." You told them with a smile.
"See? Everything is fine," James looked at Lily.
Lily analysed the situation, it was clear that she wanted to go out with James, but leaving her friend didn't sound like a viable option. "No, James, I'm sorry, I really don't want to leave her alone." Lily said somewhat sadly.
Sirius, on the other hand, also saw the situation. He knew Lily wasn't going to leave her friend shopping for things on her own, and he also knew how depressed James was going to be for the rest of the month if Lily turned him down for the one way out he had risked asking her. He thought about staying with Y/n, not that he wanted to of course, but it was for the greater good, it was definitely for that, he was only going to help his friend, it had nothing to do with him.
"Maybe-" Sirius suddenly spat and everyone looked at him "Maybe I can stay with you" He turned to look at you and you felt your heart skip a beat. Stay with you? Just today was the first time you'd been with him in the same room for more than ten seconds without running out since you broke up. "I mean, to help you finish shopping, after all Marlene our friend right?" Sirius tried not to make it sound like he needed to spend time with his ex-girlfriend, which he kinda did.
Lily and James smiled "Actually, it does sound good" Lily said with a bit of hope and James felt his soul return to his body.
You were paraplegic, saying yes meant spending, Merlin knows how much time alone with your ex-boyfriend who you're probably not over, but it also meant that Lily could finally go on a date with the guy she liked and the truth is that didn't sound bad at all, I mean, you knew how excited she was about that and there's nothing you wouldn't do for your best friend, even go shopping with your ex-boyfriend, why not?
"Sounds good" You gave a genuine smile "I hope you're good at picking out candy" You joked to Sirius.
"I think I am" Sirius gave you a wink. You felt yourself turn a little red.
"Thanks Y/n, I promise I'll make it up to you, I love you!" Lily said as James led her out of the tent. You laughed a little at this and Sirius mimicked you.
"I really hope they get married because I can't stand it anymore" Sirius rolled his eyes and that made you laugh.
"What?" You asked him as you looked at the shelves of candy.
"James!" He expelled as if he was taking a weight off his shoulders "I swear to Merlin that's all he talks about!"
"Is it that bad?" You looked at him, you watched as a couple of strands of hair fell across his forehead, you felt the urge to move them, but you couldn't, not anymore.
Sirius rolled his eyes "You doubt it? The worst thing is that I'm the only one he tells, Remus and Peter are smart enough to ignore it."
You laughed "Poor thing, Sirius. He's just very much in love."
Sirius sighed "Well, I was never like that."
You gave him a somewhat sly look, wondering if Sirius ever talked about you like that with James.
Sirius immediately caught your gaze and stumbled a bit over his words "I mean- Not that I wasn't in love like that- Just that I never bothered him that much about it- Not that it bothered me being in love with you- you know." Sirius cursed inwardly, it was kind of funny, he thought of himself as a confident person, somewhat boastful even but when it came to you, all of that just disappeared.
"Don't worry, I get it" You smiled a little "I think I used to annoy Lily a lot" Remembering when you first liked Sirius.
"Did you?" he asked curiously.
"Quite a lot. I hope she wasn't that bothered" You laughed a little.
Sirius smiled "I don't think so, how could you ever bother anyone?"
You rolled your eyes "Don't do that" You said to Sirius.
"Do what?" he laughed, feigning innocence.
"That thing you do, you're flirting with me, don't do that." You smiled.
"I'm not!" He defended himself offended "I'm just telling the truth, which is different."
"Shut up" You rolled your eyes smiling. For a moment you felt everything like it was before, and for a moment you wished everything was like it was before.
Sirius relaxed his face a little "I mean it, you genuinely are the most interesting person I know, I don't see any way for you to annoy or bore anyone."
You felt a bit of tension in the air so you made a little joke to ease it "I know I'm the best thing you ever had, you don't have to tell me."
Sirius laughed "Hey don't you think that's enough candy?" he said looking at the bag you were carrying, you didn't even realise how much you were carrying from talking to him.
"Oh Merlin, you're right, more than enough, let's go pay."
You and Sirius walked over to pay, so you took out the money you had counted with Lily yesterday, you paid and you walked out of the shop, Sirius helping you with the bags.
There had been a freak snowstorm at Hogwarts a few days ago, even though it was the middle of June. Professor McGonagall at first thought it was a prank by the Marauders, eventually she found out it wasn't them as James told her that they didn't play pranks on that silly level. Then she found out it was a prank by some Hufflepuff second graders, honestly you found it funny, they couldn't reverse the spell so we had to wait a couple of weeks for the snow to stop.
"What should we do? I honestly don't think James and Lily are done." Sirius looked at you.
"Definitely not, I think we should head back to the castle so we can take advantage of Marlene being around and I can hide this well" You smiled at him.
Sirius nodded and took off his coat and placed it on top of both of you so you could get to the castle without getting covered in snow, on the morning you went down to Hogsmeade the storm wasn't this bad.
You grabbed the edge of the coat next to you to cover yourself better and discovered the initial of your name embroidered with red thread that you had made a couple of weeks after you started dating Sirius. A small smile escaped your lips.
This little thing of embroidering your initial on his stuff came about as a silly joke that people would realise he belonged to you, obviously you didn't mean it, but he didn't have a problem with it, so he embroidered a couple himself.
"What's up?" Sirius asked when he saw your smile.
With a small smile you showed him the edge of his coat.
He rolled his eyes with a smile. "Leave it."
"Why didn't you take it off?" you asked curiously.
Sirius frowned "Why should I?"
"I don't know, because we broke up?"
"So?" He turned to look at you. "Just because it's over doesn't mean it wasn't real, you're the realest thing I've ever had."
You stopped walking and looked at him "Sirius, you don't mean that."
"Of course I do" He stopped as well, he picked up his scarf and showed you the corner, where your initial was also and his ring, which on the inside he wore it as well.
" I take you wherever I go." He said to you with a nostalgic smile.
"Do you miss us? Because I feel your absence wherever I go." You asked him directly, feeling your soul leave your body.
Sirius dipped his hand into your neck and you felt your neck crawl.
You smiled "Just to confirm? Will you tell me?"
Sirius moved to your lips and kissed them tenderly "More than you can imagine." He murmured against your lips and kissed them again.
"This is great" You smiled and moved the strands of hair that were in the way of his forehead. "I've wanted to do that since I saw you."
Sirius laughed against your lips. "I have to cut it" Referring to his hair.
You let out a gasp. "Are you mad? You cut your hair and we're done again I swear."
"We're done again?" Sirius repeats. "Does that mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend again?" Sirius asks with a grin.
"Absolutely. Any problem with that?" you smiled back.
"Never" Sirius grabbed the back of your neck and kissed even harder, careful to never let go again.
Though if he did, he'd always take you with him anyway.
#the marauders#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#sirius black x reader#harry potter#james potter x reader#lily evans x reader#the marauders x reader#x reader#angst#fluff#fanfic
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I wanna share something because I don't want to suffer alone with my thoughts 😅
It's one of the scenarios where Tav knew Astarion before he was turned, but I've never read anything where it played out like this.
I apologize if something is wrong, English is not my native language.
Imagine that Tav is an elf and Astarion's lover before he was turned.
They're devastated when they finds out that Astarion has been killed. Mourning his death for a very long time and even moving away from Baldur's gate because everything reminds them too much of Astarion.
They know that all their happiness and love are gone. No one can fill the void that Astarion's death has brought them.
And now, two hundred years later, they stand on the beach, the sun beating down on their head, the burning Nautiloid at their back and before them... Astarion?
Only it's all wrong, his eyes are red and he's pale... paler than he's ever been.
Anger rises up in Tav. How dare some shapeshifter even take on Astarion's form after their beloved has been dead for 200 years?
And do a bad job at it!
Before the pale creature could even call for help again, Tav lunged at him with an angry cry, surprising the imitation and truckling it to the ground, dagger pressed to it's throat while they straddled his body. "How dare you?! How dare you to take his form?! Show me who you really are... now!" They command, surprising even themselves with their actions. But they couldn't stop... not when someone is using Astarion's face for gods knows what.
"Darling, there seems to have been a little misunderstanding. I don't know what you're talking about, and I'd appreciate it if you'd remove the dagger from my neck." The shapeshifter replies, his voice smooth and flirtatious and so unmistakably Astarion's that it hurts, and Tav presses the dagger a little harder against his neck.
"Shut up, shapeshifter!" Tav shouts at him, gaze anchored on that so familiar yet different face. "Where did you even get his face?! His voice?!" They ask angrily, the hand holding the dagger starting to shake. "You have no rights to pretend you're Astarion when he's... when he's gone. And to do it badly!" They continue, still angry but deep seated sadness linger behind.
The shapeshifter's eyes widen, opening his mouth as if he wants to say something, Tav noticing the fangs there and even worse idea that him being a shapeshifter, starts to creep into their mind.
"Tav?" Fake Astarion finally speaks, saying their name as if he were saying it for the first time in a long time, tasting it on his lips. The previous flirting gone. Instead he looked confused and as if just now he remembered something that was hidden in his mind. "You are them, aren't you? Gods, how could I forget... so beautiful." His red eyes glide along Tav's face, his voice nothing than a whisper. He's clearly lost in his head and Tav swallows thickly, realisation slowly grasping their mind but they fight against it.
"No, stop! Stop it! You can't be him. You can't... he's dead and your eyes are wrong. You're wrong." Tav says, their body starting to shake all over, threatening to cut him by mistake with the dagger still against his neck.
But now it's easy for 'the shapeshifter' to take Tav's wrist and move their hand away from his neck, easily wrenching the dagger from their fingers and tossing it aside. His lips stretch into a sad smile.
"That's what vampirism do to you, my love." Astarion says ever so softly, the deepest pain and sadness etched in his voice and Tav knows, feels it in their soul, that he is telling the truth.
So that's how Tav meets Astarion again, this encounter more painful and bittersweet than anything else.
They stay on the beach for a little while, Tav crying their heart out and Astarion trying to hold back his own tears. Both of them not expecting something like this to happen.
(Sorry if Astarion seems ooc.)
#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion x gn tav#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#astarion x gn reader#baldur's gate tav#baldur's gate astarion#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#tav bg3#bg3 astarion#bg3 writing#bg3
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[project page]
>walk away, go with the nomad. i love you.
since you cannot cry, you make an effort to push the stale air out of your lungs, a poor imitation of a sigh - i guess bad habits really die hard. if the nomad has noticed, then it pays you no mind and simply carries on. casting one last lingering glance at the water and the sky above, you dutifully follow. after a short while, it becomes clear that something has changed. the nomad has picked up its pace, moving in erratic strides. here and there, you find it dashing across the sand, beak and head angled upwards, as though searching, or following an invisible thread in the air, one that you can feel, but cannot quite grasp, like a long forgotten name - always on the tip of your tongue, yet never to be spoken aloud. at times, you struggle to keep up. it's so hard, you're so tired, it's too much. your eyes burn with fatigue. you want to scream, to beg the bird-thing to slow down, but the words evade you everytime you open your mouth, and the nomad does not so much as look at you. a hot and bitter pressure builds behind your nose and muffles your ears. once again you feel yourself falling apart - but the blanket wrapped around your frame and the water sloshing in your hollow stomach seem to work against your body's trajectory to disintegrate, two forces swirling inside and all around you, like a wicked pendulum that propels you forward despite, despite.
i won't let you go, should have known that from the start.
---
tenderly her eyes made their pilgrimage across the mounds of glass and steel, mourning perhaps hunger is a cure for insanity, shut-you-up-real-nice knowing full well being alive is a horrendously beautiful thing while the dogs, blood stained snouts dig out the madness, turn it into a five course meal heaving, a still-beating heart melts like butter on their lips as poorly clipped nails fumbled and fussed,
just enough to make a day-ride.
---
in this fashion, you and the nomad dance across the white sand for some time, until a hillside comes into view. upon closer inspection, you are awed to realise it is made entirely of roots. at the foot of this strange hill, a grove - an incredible indent in that tangled mass that is the tree-hill - opens up and presents an even more curious sight: 12 creatures, each bearing the likeness of a bird, but is clearly not one. they stand stock-still and solemn, with multitudes of dried flowers and glittering gemstones at their feet. their faces, elongated and coming to pointy, beak-like ends, are not dissimilar to the nomad, but much more haggard; and so immobile, it is easy to mistake them for statues, has there not been the occassional puffs of dusty smoke and shrill noises, like a kettle boiling over, coming from their beaks and throats that betray any hints of liveliness about them.
the nomad slows its steps, and looks down. it keeps its eyes to the ground as you get nearer to the grove. it occurs to you that it is avoiding the living-statues' gaze. surprisingly, they reciprocrate the gesture. Ever so slightly each of them turn their head, so their eyes fall off the nomad, and onto … you. you, who does not belong you, who comes on a leash, believing it to be choice you, who dies, and nothing changes
to your bewilderment, the statues came to life, all at once. they grovel at the flowers and gems, and toss them in handfuls at you as the nomad leads you through the grove, leaving a trail of petals and stones. when you pass the 12th statue and come to the end of the opening, everything suddenly shifts: slowly, mechanically, the roots shape themselves into a winding stairway, leading you up the hill.
calmly, the nomad signals you to go up.
what do you do?
[previous chapter]
#illustration#fiction#drawing#impossible nomad#writing#storytelling#prose#poetry#poll#stories#ocs#creatures#monster#art#artists on tumblr
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🫧My experience being friends with the Moon signs 🫧
-Please remember that this is not a reflection of everyone with said placement. The behaviors of a single asshole aren't that of the many (sometimes). Also, I don't/didn't have friends with all Moons. Some would have one person or no specific person, and rather so, I'll be giving general observations.
🫧Taurus Moon🫧
Friend #1: Kind, loving, generous, thoughtful, quiet, slow, and internalizes everything. She is one of my closest friends ever. She is practically the father figure of the group, helping everyone out, protecting them, advocating, giving advice, and making sure that they're set and good. Picky with her friends, many of them are people she has known since childhood, and most are her cousins with very few that aren't related to her. Tech and cyber expert. A big animal and nature lover. She loves her space and peace, she is slow to return texts, hates calls, and has the social battery of a sloth. Good singing voice. Loves video games, and is OBSESSED with whatever she has an interest in. Overall, her emotions are well-regulated, however, as an Earth Moon she rationalizes herself and stays pretty chill, even when she needs to pipe up.
Friend #2: Obsessive, jealous, sensual, persistent, indulgent yet very frugal, and stubborn af. A big-time foodie, he does have quite the appetite. Good singing voice too. Always at the clearance section of 'Bath and Body Works'. Thrifty. Got to have three of the same body spray. Candle queen. Trust issues with a very paranoid outlook on things. A bit greedy. Always asking people to buy them things. Very sexual. Cares for his younger sisters and loves his family and friends.
Friend #3: Big-time nerd. Memes are his only talking reference. Great singing voice and can imitate voices very well. Shy extrovert. Loves animations and even studied to be an animator and designer. Hugger. Big animal lover (he legit has what seems like a zoo of pets at home).
Friend #4: Obsessed with history (especially medieval history). All about death and our relationship with mortality. A literal cat. Isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. Goes all in on a subject of interest. Has the same appearance and sense of style as always.
I find Taurus Moons to be very comforting and a joy to be around. They defiantly bring a sense of stability to the relationship, mainly because they're predictable. Not in the "boring" sense but rather that they're people of clear and simple emotions no matter how grand they're in expression, it's pretty clear what they feel, how they feel, and why; Basically, there's no catch or an underbelly to their emotions. Other qualities I have found was that they're pretty aloof, they hate to be intimate with people they barely know, and they actually like fast-paced relationships (only if they really like you), they love to dress simply but chic, and they do have a well known "thing". They always got that "thing" you associate with them and they have it for comfort, like a kid with a blanket or a toy. They also love animals, pastels, the color brown, and karaoke. Hates confrontation and always second guesses their gut feeling. They're also very stubborn and in general, find it much harder to break out of habitual cycles of disconnecting and detachment when shit gets real.
🫧Gemini Moon🫧
Friend #1: Very smart. Great writer and lyricist. Talented musician and singer. Loves people. A bit timid about being in the spotlight. Loves to connect with others over interests, especially art and social issues. Great dresser. Romantic. Bends too fast. Dislikes confrontation but would stand up for a loved one. Bad judge of character (always attracts cheaters and assholes).
Friend #2: Certified L.A.B (lying ass bitch). Says shit for the sake of saying shit. Fake trauma bonding. Leeches off of people. Toxic. Abusive. Always with abusers. Manipulative and hateful. Been around the block. Would do anything for validation. Makes up stories about others to play the role of the victim. (Very likely she has a cluster B personality disorder and no Gemini Moon would claim her.)
I think I have experienced two extremes of this moon, with one being highly and continuously evolving and the other being consistently trash. I am fond of the energy that Gemini has on the moon. There's this innocence that they possess at the core, and it could be the purest and most genuine thing or the biggest fabrication in history. Nonetheless, I do love to be around them and the energy they bring to a relationship. It is always lively, fresh, and new, they'll always come up with something to do with you, and always find a way to spend time and be close to you. They definitely give mixed signals since they tend to be a bit playful, especially in their platonic relationships, and they are very touchy. They're bold and outspoken generally about how they feel. They're less guarded and more likely to share and talk about their problems and their opinions. In contrast, they would rather die than open up about their deep true emotions.
🫧Cancer Moon🫧
Talking about their ex was their favorite pastime. Never misses an important function. Celebrations and social events were considered important. The person that would want to go somewhere but then gets upset because things did not go how they imagined they would. Ruminates on past events and feelings. Vents a lot but also gives you the space to do so. Strong stan on temporary emotions and circumstances. Feels how she feels and doesn't care how others perceive her for it, or what they think about it. Low key ferocious (I live for it though). The only person I know that isn't afraid to publicly voice their boundaries when crossed.
I don't think I met another Cancer Moon besides this person, and we became friends only because we were together in similar classes at uni. Overall, I would say from what I have observed, her relationships with her friends were always great and seemed pretty solid. Romantically though, sis was very challenged, and I don't think it was totally her date's fault. She is an acquired taste and she knows what she wants. Seems very hung up on the idea of meeting expectations and fighting an imaginary clock to get THE perfect life. Good luck with that.
🫧Leo Moon🫧
Creative. Self-motivated. A visionary. The definition of an untamable person. Careful of who they keep company. Lives for an adventure. All about self-expressing, being authentic, and breaking the system. Great philosophical talker. Has true parental instincts. Very comfortable with themselves. Sexual. Great body-mind attunement. Good at mirroring others.
I have heard/read a lot of shit spewing about this placement, but I have to say that I do love to meet them. They're a breath of fresh air. Although I get how they can give an impression of a know it all "I am better than you" life dula, I never detect malice in their approach and usually they're more than respectful if you talk to them about it. They carry the weight of life with such ease, and I envy their perseverance. They definitely love to live life to the fullest. They have their select few friends that they have for a lifetime and like to keep it that way.
🫧Virgo Moon🫧
Never been friends with a Virgo Moon, although not for lack of trying but they themselves are quite apprehensive of bonds with people. They're close to their family and the friends they have they got to know them through school, work, or because they had no other option than to be around you. A molded chaos, and an organized mess. Life runs much faster for them and there's never enough time to finish anything. Despite their tendency to give everything a sense of debilitating urgency, they aren't hypochondriacs. Being strong and well functioning is important to them, as such they take good care of their bodies and surroundings. Oddly spiritual with a devolution to routine rituals. Their emotions are well hidden, they have the hardest exterior to crack. However, they're avid about mental health and wellness. I have also noticed that they tend to lash out, uncharacteristic of them, when they're overwhelmed or feel cornered.
🫧Libra Moon🫧
Friend #1: Very sweet. Bad Bitch™. Always looks good. Best dancer I know. Craves love and relationships. Attracts drama. They are very close to their family. Heavily underestimated. "Legally Blond" but Elle is a Latina that studies medicine. Loves astrology. Takes care of their friendships. Always on the go. Meeting new people all the time.
Friend #2: Pushover. Non-confrontational yet very aggressive. Easily frustrated. Closed minded to different interests. A bit extreme and abrasive. HATES astrology. LOVES the show 'Friends'. Self-critical. Insecure.
A placement that perfectly embodies Libra. Heavenly body and presence. Indecisive as hell. Always stuck in bad relationships. Head is always in the clouds. Romanticizing everything. Walking like they're being filmed. I would say there is an emphasis on companionship and finding "the one" throughout their lives, plus drama is second nature. They might be used to drama so much so that they lose sense of their boundaries and self, in turn making them vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. Their "all about me" era is like no other and is a true turning point in their lives. They seem to thrive when are surrounded by masculinity and masculine people, or overall very competitive and cut-throat environment. They use being underestimated to their advantage.
🫧Scorpio Moon🫧
"Me, myself and I". Paranoid as hell. Big spender. Artistic. Good at portrait sketching. Dresses well. Loves drama. Is the drama. Tone deaf. Low-key ungrateful. An immense sense of self-importance. Passive aggressive. PETTY. Mature exterior with very childish interests. Hypercritical of everything, including themselves.
"Jesus take the wheel" was made as a phrase for dealing with a Scorpio Moon. I get the fragility and being highly emotional and sensitive, that I read about. However, I mostly find them to be disagreeable and pensive. You never know what is the truth, so I assume everything is a lie, and if it's the truth then there must be a catch. They would wake up and the day already sucks. They love to surround themselves with expensive things. It's uncomfortable to be around a placement that seems to believe their own projections and preconceived notions of others rather than getting to know people, or maybe just mind their own business. I would say though that having a Scorpio Moon is probably unpleasant, but I have seen worse happen to other placements with "favorable" moons. And of course, I am talking about the ones that I have met and not every single Scorpio Moon out there.
🫧Sagittarius Moon🫧
Friend #1: Life of the party (actually the life of life). Loves to laugh. Comfortable with everyone. Always hype. Smokes like a chimney. Either brave or stupid. Hype. Frequent dealings with older guys. No chills. Loves to play with friends. Car hangouts over going into places. Funny on the outside, sad on the inside.
Friend #2: Very smart. Tarot mogul. Always a good time. Great convorsaitonlist. A softie. Very sensitive. Expressive.
Friend #3: Would cut a bitch. A true ride or die. A person you want to be on her good side. An unofficial dominatrix. Sweet but feisty. Loves her cat. Always lit. Would do anything for her friends. A good bullshit detector.
A favorite of mine, it is very hard not to like a Sag moon. They're so caring of others and are always making sure that you're good and having a good time. They're the type of person to trust if you're in a bar or a club. I would say that there is a very sad side to them under all that happiness. They're always anxious, which is probably why they don't sleep or eat very well. They also get a lot of migraines. If they open up then they really really really trust you (which is important to them since they can vibe and hang out with anyone but barely trust). They usually have a much calmer Earth sun best friend. I would say that they act much older than their when young but then seem to stay stuck on childish cycles of defensiveness and escapism as they get older.
🫧Capricorn Moon🫧
Friend #1: Artistic and crafty. Resilient. Capable of being very sweet and stern. Good with money, planning, and organizing. Maticolus. Conscious and realistic about their growth and development. Loves animals. Loves to be active in nature. A strong believer in karma.
Friend #2: A true powerhouse. Wonderwoman. My mentor and only real-life role model. An established businesswoman. Rags to riches. Despite having a physical disability she can drive, open pickle jars, do lifts and push up, plus she is a fashion designer that can sew. All of that with one arm. A fighter through and through.
Never had the privilege of being friends with many Capricorn Moons but I have known quite a few and some are very close friends of my family. A rough start in life. They really do take time to peak, however, the glow-up is real. Least spiritual Moon sign. Not egotistical or cold as I read so often. Quite warm and welcoming actually. They might be borderline Darwinists when it comes to the importance of human life and mortality. Believers of hard work and initiative. Lovers and fighters. Silent passion. When young, their relationship with their mother can be described as codependent, and their relationship with their father is strained with a sense of animosity. However, with time the roles seem to slowly reverse. Regardless, their family defenatliy takes precedence throughout their lives. They value respect more than anything else.
🫧Aquarius Moon🫧
Friend #1: Devoted to volunteer work and other people. The "fixer" type. Wants to be needed. Self-help books are all they read. Their interests and style are influenced by the people they're hanging out with. Accidentally (or maybe not) trauma bond with others. Desires to be a leader. Emotions focused. Worries about their reputation a lot. No luck with love. And also in friendship. Many friends, very few that are close, and only one has been consistent so far. Loves to have hangouts with large groups.
Friend #2: Music is their soul. Hippie. Loves acting. "center of attention". Dress based on aesthetics. TikTok addict. Interested in astrology and spirituality. Cold. Performative.
Friend #3: Know-it-all. Bad at expressing themself. No filter. Self-centered. Radical thinking. "Everyone is stupid". Loves to stand out. Learned how to finish a Rubix cube just to show it off. Having low grades is a "red flag" to him. Has a strong desire to be loved, yet none to give it back.
Friend #4: All about the drama and lights. Emotionally explosive at times. Hiding behind a facade. Loves to meet different people. Business savvy. Guarded but would give you their heart once they let it down. Displays emotions as anger when in reality they're scared. Superficial connections to others are more prevalent.
Generally, these people are dynamic and quite sociable. They're people focused in the best and worst ways possible. There is a constant desire to change surroundings (and at times help others change and grow) but they themselves tend to be relatively rigid at the core. Impressionistic (even though they would probably deny it). Self-image is usually not the reality (this could manifest in being overconfident or self-critical). They love to work with their hands a lot and do much better when working with others in comparison to working alone. They are altruistic but aren't attentive to others' desires; as a result, they believe they know better about everything and "what is best" depending on the situation. Imitates emotions rather than naturally expressing them.
🫧Pisces Moon🫧
Another very close friend of mine. Hard to read. Intelligent. People smart. Their friends are family. Uncomfortable with expressing their emotions, yet a good listener. Extroverted introvert. Loves to go out and meet people. Likes to club, going to parties, playing video games, and trying out new things. Loyal. Tough shell, soft heart. Doesn't give a flying fuck about what strangers think of them. Trophy hunter. A very realistic and pragmatic view of the world. Melancholic. They are perceived as troubled when they're just quiet. Low-key altruistic.
This Moon sign is not as bubbly as I have heard about it. They're hard to pinpoint as they usually come off as either Aquarius or Scorpio Moons. They tend to go through much more emotional turmoil, especially as children. They have a floaty feel to them. They feel a lot but nothing at once. They are usually witnesses to harm done to others and suffer losses related to other people rather be it themselves directly, which contributes to a sense of isolation from their peers. They do definitely grow into brave people that face life despite all the baggage they seem to drag around. By far the moon sign that takes the longest to open up honestly and completely, although they do experience spats of anxiety from time to time. Also FOOOOODDDD. They love food and everything that brings them comfort. Vices.
🫧Aries Moon🫧
Very emotional yet not expressive. Dedicated and strong-willed (she is a pediatrician). Hung up on "the one that got away". A true badass. So pretty yet so sad. Her dogs are her babies. Always choosing violence. Femme fatal that drives a Jeep Wrangler.
Emotions that cut deeper than a sword. They seem to compensate for emotional and inner needs with material things and career achievements. Very intimidating when you meet them at first, as they appear put together and quite the expert in their field. They spiral downwards if life doesn't go their way. Personally, I think this moon sign is the most emotionally rigid. Not for their lack of desire to change but rather that they get stuck on what their heart desire and can't seem to see or want anything other than that thing or person that they can't get. They also seem hellbent on trying to control what we can't control, such as the past, other people, and unforeseen misfortune. Highly upkeep on their exterior. Needs some form of vice to process emotions, usually it's smoking and drinking. They tend to be their parents favorite.
#astrology#astro observations#astro notes#astrology notes#astrology observations#aquarius#aries#cancer#capricorn#gemini#taurus#virgo#libra#pisces#scorpio#leo#sagittarius#moon signs#aries moon#taurus moon#gemini moon#cancer moon#leo moon#virgo moon#libra moon#scorpio moon#capricorn moon#aquarius moon#pisces moon
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sorry it didn't entirely occur to me that race play wasn't inherently racist. Guess I literally should've just googled that to see, flew over my head. Wasn't intending to be bait or whatever, I was genuinely confused what goes too far in fiction or not, since you could write practically anything including immoral stuff. It was hard to wrap my head around and entirely forgot POC could write stuff that would be considered racist if a white person did it. My bad I understand the reasoning now. Again sorry was genuinely just curious cuz I'm not a "professional" in what's right or not (I usually follow the majority to determine what's right, I'm a sheep, my biggest fear is to be offensive in any way so I try to listen to people who know their stuff and follow), terms and complicated words (at least complicated to me) tend to go over my head. Perhaps I should've used a tonetag to show I was being genuine in my response and meant to be curious and not to harm. I apologize sorry for making you mad have a nice day/night afternoon :) I really appreciate the work you put in this blog, it's very informational for me
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Oh god. You're in earnest? Well, in that case, you were doing a pitch-perfect imitation of the people you've been reading, and those people are annoying.
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It's fiction. Who cares what's in it?
The thing that makes it matter is how the fiction is disseminated and the whole context around it. For example, media aimed at young children is held to higher standards because four-year-olds often aren't that competent at telling fiction from reality or understanding that depiction isn't endorsement.
Mainstream US TV shows have millions of viewers. If they reinforce mainstream unconscious prejudices, that tends to encourage the audience to continue unchecked in those beliefs.
Weird niche porn or fanfic on AO3 have tiny audiences, often deal with things that are already contentious, and are labeled as non-mainstream in the first place by their very nature.
"But what if people write immoral fiction?" is itself an unethical position. It is the domain of the religious right, radfems, and other assholes who believe in thought crimes.
Yes, sheep do follow these people. This is an unethical behavior, but it is common.
The tyranny of the majority is not a good thing. The fact that a large number of people on social media say that such-and-such makes them feel gross is not an excuse for them to tell a smaller group with "gross" tastes what they're allowed to do in their own circles. Lots of people are horny over weird shit. This is fine.
The fear of ever offending anyone is a prison that will cause you to make bad choices.
Genuine harm is bad, but lots of people are offended at the drop of a hat. Yes, this goes for nonwhite people too, and it definitely goes for idiots white knighting in fandom spaces and going "You can't write X about characters of color! You can't write Y! Everything is problematic!"
As has been discussed on here many times, a lot of fans, including nonwhite fans, find that kind of behavior stifling to the point where they can't write about those characters at all. The response is often a huffy "Well, they shouldn't feel like that." But they do feel like that. It's not on purpose. Most people feel like that, to be honest. Living in a fishbowl has a chilling effect on art just like being afraid of offending paralyzes you yourself.
Offensiveness is highly dependent on context. Not only will it vary with your cultural background, but a great writer can handle material and make it feel nuanced, while a crummy writer will fall flat on their face with the same material.
If we are too precious about "Nobody should ever offend anyone", we're calling for all fans to publicly disclose their demographic and for all fans to be extremely skilled. Pity the poor, dumb teenager who just wants to write about their black blorbos because they are black themselves... and a shitty writer... who likes sex pollen.
If you look again, you will notice that a lot of fandom drama around offensiveness boils down to "You have a rape kink and that's not okay".
The bottom line, anon, is that fandom has a bullying problem. The internet has a bullying problem. People who are too scared to have their own stance on what's offensive or what's correct behavior are easily weaponized in bullying campaigns. This is the problem with being a sheep. You'll reblog shit saying "Well, I'm not sure, but this sounds important..." and then it turns out to be a smear campaign. Or maybe you personally won't do that, but you will stay silent when you should speak out.
Doing the right thing often involves offending people.
Look, anon, I've been canceled before for supposedly being "fandom's worst racist", and yet there are a bunch of fans of color in my comments section because they're tired of prissy jackasses who won't ever expose themselves by having an opinion, think it's more important to never be wrong than to have a conversation and risk changing their minds, who think only one very specific, very American, and very era/platform/fandom-specific standard is okay, and who hate on kinky fanfic day in and day out.
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To interact with other humans is to risk offending someone. Yes, I think it's on all of us to at least recognize extremely blatant racist stereotypes, but that doesn't mean agreeing with every single moron who walks up and goes "I had a yucky feeling, and now that's your problem."
A lot of this pearl clutching makes one think of that line from Cold Comfort Farm:
"I saw something nasty in the woodshed!"
The matriarch of the family took to her bed years ago, claiming to have been prostrated by the sight of some unnamed horror (in context, probably people fucking). For years, she has used this supposed ~harm~ to bully and control the rest of the family.
Fandom is also full of this behavior lately. "Other people's fiction made me shake and cry!!!" is not actual harm. It is, at best, people who are genuinely upset but who need to take it up with a mental health professional. Very often, however, it is shitty, manipulative, abusive behavior that is entirely intentional. Do not fall for it.
Some people are just children and need to be told "No."
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concert ticket - Lando Norris
summary; Lando Norris x reader
You're hyped to get concert tickets for Taylor Swift - the Eras tour until everything is sold out and you're very upset about it. Lando gets very creative to cheer you up!
warning(s); none, little bit angst, fluff, maybe grammar errors
author's note; hi ✨ hope you enjoy this one!
Quickly reminder my request box is always open 💞
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"hey babe, Taylor Swift is going on tour!", a squeak escapes your mouth, too excited since you heard the news. Lando huffs, rolling his eyes, "I'll not go with you!". It's not like he hates the singer, he likes her songs but for two or three hours nonstop?
You blink twice, "why not?". You put on your begging face which lando never could resist. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, "I'm not a fan of songs like "Stopp you're losing meee", he imitates the lyrics with dramatic body gestures. "You cry over her songs like you're lovesick and you're in a happy relationship with me!", he argues.
You can feel how your mouth changes into a small, thin line. "don't you dare to talk about this masterpiece like that, Lando Norris!". When it comes to Taylor, you're ready to fight. He bites on his nails, if it makes you happy, he would go with you.
"One deal, you have to organize these tickets and I'll go with you", he smiles apologizing. Here you are, one month later in front of your laptop since thee hours.
It's frustrating. You're not the only one with the plan to buy tickets and you need to wait. "argh!", you smash your hand on the keyboard, it could be such a happy day.
When you click to the main page, the worst nightmare came true; no tickets available. Sold out.
Of course you didn't call Lando - he would throw a party just not going to this. But for you it meant the world.
After three days Lando is worried, he was away for promotion and you were awkwardly quiet. Too quiet.
He knows the ticket sale started, you talked nonstop about it for one month straight. He's sure you got tickets, that's why he didn't bought any.
He was sure you'll get some.
Unlocking the door he steps in, ready to say hello to you with a big hug, kisses and good food.
"Hey darling", Lando steps in the kitchen and kisses your neck from behind, because you're cooking. "Hm", you mumble under anger about the world.
"Someone is in a bad mood, huh?", jokes Lando in love. You look so cute when you're grumpy.
"Shut up", you hiss in his direction under tears, bad mood is no explanation for your feelings. All hopes are gone.
"What happened?!", Lando got big eyes, shocked about your reaction. It's atypical for you. "We're not going to the Eras tour", you sob whilst holding the pan. Cooking his favorite meal. With his favorite tv show. And you're not even allowed to see your favorite artist, your biggest idol.
"I'm so sorry ", Lando steps closer and hugs you tight, "you're not!", you sob even more in his chest.
"I am", he lays his chin on your head, thinking about what he can do. He can't help with concert tickets but he can help you.
He kisses your hair, asking you randomly, "you're free thursday night?", you just nod. After this you sit down and eat the dinner without more conversations about this. But he has ideas.
Four days to get the ideas to your best night ever. He goes to shops, asks his friend to help him and learns Taylor Swift song lyrics. He ordered fan merch. It's not hard to hide from you because you have a busy time schedule at work so you're not coming home until 8pm.
"Lan-oooh!", you see glitter on the floor inside his apartment. "Lando?", you look through the open door, where you can see ballons, more glitter, different colors, colored snacks and letters on the ceiling, 'eras tour' on it. "aww how cute!", you can't believe he did it for you. A Taylor Swift themed night.
"Change into your fanciest, most glamorous dress because we're having the best night ever with Taylor", he dances like a goofball in the living room. Before you walk into your wardrobe, you walk back to Lando and kiss his lips, "i love you", thankful to have this man in your life.
He wouldn't say it loud but maybe he got two tickets. But that's a surprise for later.
#lando x you#lando imagine#lando x reader#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando fluff#lando norris blurb#lando norris imagine#formula one blurbs#formula one x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1#formula one
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suicide is so unnecessarily dramatic and for what
#bc i think hanging is my best option#but idk it feels like such an annoying thing bc then someone finds you and it’s a whole thing#i just wanna be dead and for my body to disintegrate#and i wish i was never born bc so far it’s just been 20 years of being achtelt aware something is wrong with me and i can never fix it#there’s sth about knowing that at any given moment you’re the dumbest ugliest and least interesting person in the room#and that everything you do always feels like a bad imitation of others#the way you talk or dress or move feels wrong and everyone can tell#also i think i’m gonna start starving myself again#bc i can’t stand the way i look and food makes me feel gross and i hate the feeling of a full stomach it’s so fucking disgusting#and all i ever think abt when i eat is if i’m gonna gain weight anyway so it’s not like there’s mental stability to lose#and there’s no break to this either bc every single interaction i have with anyone just makes me feel worse no matter who#it’s the worst at uni bc everyone is cool and smart and going somewhere and i’m not#and yeah i’m not the only one who’s mentally i’ll but everyone is still somehow able to be prepared for class and have a relationship#and go out and meet with friends and work#and i can’t do anything but lay in bed and cry and it’s not fair idc#and nothing brings me any joy anymore i don’t draw and reading is tiring and i can’t get up to do any japanese practice#idk if i just wish this could end
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BAD MEMORY AND RECORDED CONFESSIONS
reader x seungkwan ; fluff ; messy kisses ; once again it is not proofread sorry for any mistakes! ; all of this started from me trying so hard to remember things but failing?? ; 0.7k wc ; friends to lovers will be forever so special <3
The people at the party were slowly going away, you and a few other friends lying on the couches while drunk from alcohol and sleep.
Drunk yes; but not tired enough to shut you and Seungkwan talks. He was your crush forever, and finally, you were talking to him for more than five minutes!
"Memories don't disappear yn" Seungkwan said.
"All right, so why I can't remember everything? Or at least choose what memories to keep! Why can't I remember the first time we kissed? But I vividly remember when I started liking you...well, I like this memory...but also-"
"We can't choose which memories to keep, but we can choose the ones to cherish - oh, and you don't remember our first kiss because we haven't kissed." he kept saying.
You were drunk and you knew it. But how drunk and tired you were to confess all of your feelings to Seungkwan?? You froze, afraid to even breathe and hoping so much that he didn't hear you.
"...yet" he whispered looking now at the ceiling.
"Wait what" you replied opening your eyes
"We can't choose which memories to keep but-"
"Yes I get it, the phrase after"
"We haven't kissed.."
"Yes and what's the exact last word you said?"
"...yet" he whispered
"SO YOU WANT TO KISS ME," you said a little bit too loud. Realizing the whole meaning of the statement, you could almost feel his lips on yours as your wish came true.
"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT CONFESSED TO ME" he replied a bit louder while his whole face was changing its color.
And then the silence came. You both didn't dare to say a word, but what was stopping you? What fear? What embarrassment? Why the hell he was not kissing you?
Oh, wait.
After your last thought, you turned around and looked at him. His cheeks were still pinkish, and his eyes were sparkling more than ever thanks to the soft lights in the room. His lips never looked more charming and kissable, and your heart started to beat so fast that you could feel it in your throat.
"Mh, so can I?" he said, coming closer to your face and slowly erasing the distance between your lips
Oh, wait, now you were kissing him.
His hands were now caressing your waist while your arms were around his neck. Your eyes were closed, and your breaths were rapid and interrupted by the sound of quick kisses.
After a few moments, you had to separate to catch air. You could see his reddish cheeks and his messy hair, and you two were still close to each other. You both gasped for air and attempted to catch your breath. Breathing deeply, while keeping eye contact at all times.
You started to feel a little too hot, due to a mix of embarrassment and the temperature of the room. Sitting on the couch together, you ended up between his legs and in front of Seungkwan the entire time. Now, you put your forehead on his shoulder and calmed your breathing by imitating his.
"I do not want to forget this," you said, almost whispering it.
"Are you scared to forget this because of alchool, your bad memory, or because of what we did?"
"Yes." you said, too exhausted to realize his question.
"Okay...well, I promise I won't forget this," he replied, lifting your cheek to force you to look at him.
As soon as your gaze locked again he moved to kiss you again.
"So before you become the sleeping beauty, can I ask you, can I be your boyfriend?" he said between your kisses.
"Of course" you replied letting yourself sink into him "WAIT I am going to record you saying that, you know...just in case I forgot" you lied.
You quickly took out your phone and you started the video.
"Yn are you recording this because of your bad memory, or to be able to watch this again and again? Mh?". he asked, while smirking at you, not even caring for the camera.
"Who knows!"
"Okay, whatever you say pretty, let me ask you one more time. Can I, Boo Seungkwan, be your boyfriend?"
And your eyes sparkled after he said the whole sentence.
"Yes! I, Yn Yl, would love to be your girlfriend" And then the video abruptly ends, showing you getting closer to him and his lovely smile appearing just as you drift off to a peaceful sleep full of happy dreams.
#k labels#boo seungkwan x reader#boo seungkwan x you#boo seungkwan headcanons#boo seungkwan imagines#seungkwan imagines#seungkwan x reader#seungkwan x you#seungkwan headcanons#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen headcanons#seventeen reactions#seventeen imagines#svt headcanons#svt imagines#svt reactions#svt x reader#svt x you#seventeen#svt#boo seungkwan#seungkwan
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Full House lll - Eddie Munson
Authors Note: Omg. Me? Staying on schedule? Never.
Word Count: 10112
Warnings: None? Idk.
Part One HERE and Part Two HERE
(Thank you for the gif @psychecreations )
Enjoy!
“When’s the first doctors appointment?” Nancy asks, walking up to where you were currently standing at your jobs wait station. You jump, dropping the order pad you had been scribbling in as you turn to find her leaning on the wall.
“What? Why are you here?”
“I was craving chicken and didn’t want to hear Steves kfc imitation. So we decided to come here.” She smiles, rubbing her stomach ever so slightly. “Plus it meant I got to check on you.”
“Oh I’m fine.” You lie, forcing a smile on your face as she narrows her eyes.
It’s been 4 days since the Christmas fiasco, and 4 days since you realized Eddie was leaving. You tried to pick yourself back up the day of Christmas but ended up telling everyone that you were really sick and should shut the party down early. They had all gone to Steves and you were truly embarrassed to think of what they might have been saying about you.
God, did you have to ruin everything you touched?
“You never answered my question.”
“Oh? I was just sick. It’s not a serious bug or anything. I just didn’t want to get you guys sick on Christmas. That would have been bad” you lie again, feeling a coiling feeling in your gut. “Why don’t you go sit?”
“Y/n, girl I love you. But you’re showing.”
“Am not.”
“Are too. Especially in this waitressing uniform.” It was true. Normally the old school 70s uniform fit you like a glove, falling just to your thighs and it made tips so much easier. Right now? It was on the tighter side…… which made tips even easier because your boobs looked great but you felt terrible about everything.
“Does he know?” Nancy asks, and you have to stop yourself from telling her or shove off. After a moment of silence she seems to take that for an answer. “Y/n….. Eddie needs to know.”
“Why? So I can trap someone else?” You laugh bitterly. “That poor guy has already put up with enough of my shit. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go grab tables.”
You walk past her, not giving her a chance to argue as you completely avoid looking to their tables direction and move to your own section of the floor to greet a new table.
Pam, one of your favorite regulars, sees you and greets you with a smile. “You never work Friday nights!”
You always spent Friday nights with Eddie and the girls for movie night. But Eddie ran and you needed to make rent so tonight Max was watching them.
“Starting now I will be. You want your usual babe?”
“You know it!.” She giggles.
-
Steve tried saying bye before they left and you pretended you didn’t see him as you took orders, by the end of the night your feet were killing you and you all but limped inside to where Max was sitting at the table doing college homework with her headphones on.
Either she didn’t have them loud or she was on edge, your guess being a bit of both, she knows you're there and turns to you when you enter the kitchen.
“Thank you so much Max.” You mumble, pulling out the tip money you had set aside for her. “I’m sorry I ran late.”
“No need to pay.” She smiles, pushing the money away. “I like spending time with them.”
That tight feeling in your stomach is back, digging in as you stare at the redhead. She had been part of the reason you chose Hawkins, Billy had (in one of his rare good moments) described the way Max seemed to blend in and find a home here. He told you about the friends she made and how she managed to grow into a brave person and you wanted that for your own. So, assuming she was gone, you moved out here. Little did you know you find her soon enough along with an entire group of people connected to your ex.
You had always been told max was dead.
Max had always been told Billy was dead.
You didn’t know how she figured you out until Eddie told you about VECNA and Lucas told you about his girlfriends sight for things.
“I…. I saw the tickets.” She admits, blush traveling her cheeks as you move to make a cup of tea. The cupboard was still broken and you couldn’t bear to look at it.
“What tickets?”
“You left your folder out on the table. I saw that you were figuring out where to go.” Max admits and you can’t help but tense.
“I just….. I don’t want the girls being surrounded by…..”
“Billy?”
“Yes…..” you admit, still keeping your back to her as you boil water. “And Eddie. I just don’t want them knowing that he left them. They adore him too much.”
Coward. Coward. COWARD.
“I’m not a mom, but I can get your urge to protect them.” Max mumbles. “But what if they end up hating you for taking them away.”
“Then they have someone to blame. I’d rather them blame me than themselves. It is my fault anyways.” You admit, tears springing into your eyes. “Anyways. Take the money, go have fun.”
“Do you need me again this week? I saw that you work on New Year’s Eve.”
“No. You should be going out with your friends.”
“The boys have a start of the year campaign and El is taking a trip with Hopper. I’m free.” She laughs, trying to break the tension built up. “I’ll be here at 2.”
You can’t get the words thank you out because of how tight your throat is, so you just mouth them as she grabs the money and passes.
-
Steve could not stop laughing when he saw Eddie’s face the day he brought the car into the shop, leaning over on his knees to catch his breath as he wheezed out.
Dylan, the other mechanic, kept looking over to watch the scene unfold as Eddie tried to focus on his friends car.
“Harrington.”
“Dude I know- it’s just that your face is so purp-hahaha.” Another fit of laughter and Eddie is debating throwing his drill at him. He was in no shape to be dealing with him today.
Truth was Eddie had barely gotten a wink of sleep, he couldn’t manage to. Not used to not having you beside him, or not having the girls night light and soft lullabies. It had been 5 days since he saw you and he was beginning to lose his mind and resolve.
Almost every night he nearly talked himself into going back, then he remembered Motleys broken cries as they carted him off and the way she clung to your hip. The way she screamed for her dad as Eddie attacked him.
Monster monster monster.
“Gotta give it to Hargrove. He knows how to punch.”
“Yeah well, hope he had his fun.” Eddie snaps, leaning back to make sure he adjusted the part correctly.
“Did you get him back?”
“I got a few licks in.” Eddie mumbles, feeling guilty about the pride that washes over him as he remembers the way he beat Billy's face in. That was motleys dad. As much as he enjoyed hitting him he probably just scarred the Metalhead for life.
“Oh a few licks.” Steve scoffs, moving to take a seat on the stool at Eddie’s workstation. “I know how strong you are Munson. You got more than a few licks in.”
“I shouldn’t have.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because Motley was right there! She’s gonna hate me forever.” Eddie scoffs.
“Oh you mean more than they already do?” This pulls Eddie’s attention, he had been doing so good about not asking but he was dying to know. What had they said? Were they happy he’s gone? Mad that he fought Billy?
“What’d they say?”
“Not much of anything. Nancy knows something is up but your girl is keeping her lips sealed pretty well. I didn’t even know about your fight with jackass until I saw your face.”
“But you said they were mad.”
“Yeah man, you missed Christmas and just dipped. Leaves a bad impression.”
“Oh whatever. They are better off, I just ruin everything.”
“Oh. My. God.” Steve gasps, looking at Eddie like he’s figured everything out. “You’re self sabotaging!”
“What?!”
“Yeah! You think you’re the bad guy and so you’re trying to run away which is just making you even more of a bad guy which means my wife can stop threatening to shave your head.”
“I….. no man you don’t get it.”
“I do get it. I get it more than anyone else and let me be the first to tell you that you’re being a massive idiot.” He sighs, standing up. “Motley was waiting by that window to spot you that entire day.”
“S……she was?”
“Yeah Munson. She was.”
“I just….. I don’t want to be the one holding them back. I don’t want her to hate me.”
“Did you ever think that maybe Motley chose you? Like you chose Wayne?” Steve asks, watching Eddie deflate before his eyes before turning to the car. “I’m not paying by the way. Consider my advice enough.”
“Ass.”
-
Eddie spends the day of New Year’s Eve by the phone, fighting the urge to call.
What would he say? How would he explain?
No. Don’t call. This is for the better.
Yes. Call. Just pick the phone just for the chance to hear your voice.
God damn when did life get so complicated?
“What are you doing?” Wayne asks, watching eddie from his spot on the couch. “Quit wearing down my carpet.”
The carpet has been worn down since Eddie had moved in, but he chooses not to comment instead he sits by the phone, keeping his pinky on the handle of the plastic and glaring at it.
“You expecting a call?”
“No.” Eddie groans, rubbing his chest to try and relieve some of the pain built up. God he missed you guys. “Fuck. I’m gonna go smoke.”
He rushes to the back porch before Wayne could argue, hearing the old man laugh as he slams the door.
There is a dog out there when he exits, chewing on a stick found from the trees and sitting right by the fence. Upon looking a little closer he sees that the dog actually seems caught under the fence, like he was trying to sneak in.
“Jesus.” He murmurs, keeping the joint between his lips as he walks up, socked feet stepping on sticks and stones making him grunt out and try walking on his tippy toes.
He looks back with a smile, expecting a giggle from one of the girls at his weird walk before he realizes he’s alone. Shit.
The dog is panting patiently when Eddie comes up, and the man reaches a hand to let him sniff before moving to help. The dog chooses to kiss at his arm, tongue lapping at the skin as Eddie lifts the fence to try and help free him.
“Why you sneaking in pal?” He grunts, bending the fence. “You hungry?”
Within moments the dog is out, jumping up and kissing at his face for being rescued. “God. Motley would love you.”
-
“Shhhhh Ziggy.” Motley whispers to her baby sister, pulling her closer to the corner. The way daddy eddie set up her room was perfect.
He had put her bed in the center which left a small corner by her nightstand hidden from the door.
Over the past week she had looked for Daddy Eddie’s number, finding it sprawled under the label emergency numbers where he had written it under Wayne.
It was so weird that Daddy Eddie called his dad Uncle Wayne. Adults were so confusing.
Before you had left for your shift that night you made sure to wish Motley a happy new year and made her promise to behave. Little did you know that she had crossed her fingers behind her back.
The second you were gone she dashed to grab the closest phone, pulling it into her room and hiding it as Max struggled to cook nuggets for dinner.
Later that night when Auntie Max was reading on the couch Motley tiptoed to Ziggys room before sneaking her sister out of her crib and tip toeing back as Ziggy giggles happily.
“Sissy…” She giggles, pulling at Motleys cheeks happily. “Zigsy.”
“No your Ziggy silly. I’m motley.” She corrects as she shuffles with her sister in an awkward half hold half walk carry until they are in the corner. “Okay Ziggy. Sissy needs your help. You remember the plan?”
“Zigzy!”
“Oh boy��..”
-
The phone rings late, and Eddie sits up in the couch to lean his upper body to answer it, stressed and annoyed.
The stray dog lifts their head, huffing at being woken up and tilting to hear, one ear shooting up. “Easy Zeppelin.”
The dog barks, and Eddie likes to think he enjoyed the name as he picks the phone up. “Munson residence.”
God it felt weird saying that again.
“DADDY!” Motley whispers, sounding scared. Eddie is instantly up, standing on his feet and swiping at his face to wake up a little more.
“Motley? What’s wrong baby?”
“Someone’s trying to get in daddy.”
“Get in where? Where are you?” He’s already reaching for his keys, heart beating through his ears as his hands shake.
“We’re at home.” She whines.
“Where’s mommy?”
“At work!” Fuck. “Okay. Okay. Just hide. Just like daddy told you, remember? If anything happens, hide. You know where Ziggy is?”
“She’s with me.”
“Good girl. Get under your bed or in your closet. I’ll be right there.” He mumbles, calling out to Wayne to grab the phone before booking it out of the trailer.
He gives no time for the van to warm up, tearing out of the trailer park so quickly he’s sure he hit someone’s patio chair, mumbling under his breath a panicked “fuckfuckfuck”
-
The van is uneven as Eddie pulls in quickly, shifting gears to park so hard it makes a grinding sound before he is swinging the door open and tearing out. His feet hit the gravel before the grass as he rushes to the front door, using his shoulder to shove it open harshly.
A scream tears out in to the air at his entrance before a book is thrown at him which makes him yell out at whoever is in the house.
“EDDIE?!”
“MAXINE?!” He snaps, blinking at her. “What the fuck you doing?”
“What am I doing?! What are you doing?! You physco!”
“Motley said that someone was trying to break in!”
“I put Motley to bed an hour ago.” Max grunts, confusion lacing her features.
“You’re babysitting?”
“Obviously.”
“But her car is in the front.” Eddie felt like he was going crazy. “And since when does she work nights?!”
“Her car wouldn’t start so she took the bus today.” Max sighs, rolling her eyes. “And she needs extra cash. Probably for the plane tickets to get out of here.”
“Tickets out of….” Before Eddie can process her words any further there is a small pair of eyes looking around the corner drawing his attention.
Ziggy moves quickly, coming around the corner with a very excited giggle, walking to him as fast as her little feet would allow. “Da-Ed-ay!”
“Hey there baby girl.” He smiles, picking her up and swooping her into his arms to kiss all over her face. It was odd, just how much he missed this and it seemed like she had gotten so much bigger in the 4 days he missed.
“I swear to god I put her to bed. How did she get out of her crib?!” Max glares, right as the culprit behind it all comes rushing out to run at Eddie.
“I knew you’d come! I knew it daddy!” She giggles, running at him and throwing her arms around him tightly. “You came back!”
“Motley?” He starts, brain beginning to process what she was saying. “Did you…. Lie to get me here?”
“I did!” She smiles, peering up at him with big doe eyes. “I lied daddy! And now you’re here and you can take all my Barbie’s!”
“If you know lying is bad and you’ll get punished, why did you do it?” He asks, pulling her off before squatting to her level. “Metal head, that was very dangerous-“
A gust of air leaves him as her arms wrap around his neck tightly, tears springing from her eyes. “I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.”
“Motley I’m not mad, that was just dangerous and it scare-“
“No! About Billy. I’m sorry daddy.” His heart plummets, his brain racking to figure out what she was talking about. Why was she sorry?
“No. No I’m sorry.” He sighs, turning to see Max staring at them intently. “Hey max. Think you can take Ziggy for a moment?”
“Sure thing mop head.” The redhead scoops Ziggy up causing the young toddler to scream and kick, reaching chubby fingers out for Eddie. As much as he wanted to take her back he had to focus on Motley.
“Come sit.” He nods his head, leading her to the kitchen table sitting in the chair beside hers and angling it so they were facing. “Listen….. Daddy ha- Well I have been feeling really bad about Christmas Eve. I never meant to do that, or to attack your dad in front of you.”
“But-“
“I owe you a big apology for that Motley. And I don’t know what you’re feeling sorry about, pretty girl, but it’s not your fault and you have no reason to be sorry.” He murmurs, swiping the tears that fall from her cheek. “You have done nothing wrong.”
“I told Billy he couldn’t come for Christmas Daddy!” She blurts, her tears hit against his thumb as he keeps swiping her cheek. “I’m sorry!”
“No no no. You don’t be sorry.” He moves to pick her up, sitting her on his lap with her face pressed into his chest as he rubs his palm over her hair to try and soothe her. “Let’s just take a deep breath, okay? Then you can tell me what happened.”
There’s something coiling in his gut at her tears. Pain, anger, sadness. He truly could not tell, but he kept her close and rocked her back and forth to let her cry. When she finally calmed down enough to talk she started telling him.
“He was really mean daddy. And he kept t-telling me that y-you we’re gonna replace me-“ her body racks with sobs again. “He said you didn’t want me. A-and I was upset! But he w-was mean to you-“
“Easy.” He whispers, wiping her cheek once more. “You gotta breathe pretty girl.”
“He was m-mean. Said mean things about you daddy and mean things ab- I’m sorry! I-“ her sobbing gets worse and Eddie shushes her, choosing to rock her back and forth and keep her in his tight embrace. “And you w-were ma-you were madatme.”
“No no. I was never mad.” He sighs. “Daddy was never mad at you.”
“You were.”
“No, I was just scared. I…. Daddy didn’t want you hating him.” Eddie explains. “I just wanted to give you space. Having 2 dads is confusing. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“He hit you.”
“Did he ever hit you motley?” Eddie asks sternly, squeezing her a bit in comfort.
“He spanked me.” That feeling in his stomach settled on rage.
“That’s not fair. And you shouldn’t have had to go through that.”
“Please don’t leave again.” As much as he wanted to promise her that he wouldn't, that wasn’t a promise he could make. You probably hated him, and he would have to talk this out with you first.
“Let’s get you to bed yeah? Daddy will tuck you in.”
“I want mama.”
“Well she’s at work.” He mumbles against her hair.
“Can we go get milkshakes?”
“I don’t know…..” it was almost 10. Then again it was New Year’s Eve and he didn’t want you taking the bus home so this would give him an excuse to go pick you up. “Only if they have chocolate.”
“You already know they have chocolate!” She giggles, and he can’t stop the way his heart seems to light up.
-
It was a busy night, and the smell of the jalapeno nachos all your tables were ordering was making you nauseated and angry. You wanted to throw up, maybe cry, maybe throw up then cry.
Apparently a town next to Hawkins lost power so a bunch of people were driving to this place to have a good new years which meant you were going to be stuck here forever. You found yourself stressing about the bus’ schedule as you dashed to run food.
This is what you had been doing when you spotted him. Running a tray of jalapeño nachos to your table, keeping it a safe distance from your nose as you thought about the fact that you might have to walk, and there he was.
Standing in the doorway, leather jacket and wide eyes, as you caught him looking for you. And he was holding Ziggy.
What the fuck Maxine?!
“Y/n get a move on!” Your manager calls and you snap out of it, moving to deliver the tray as the host seats Eddie.
You hear Motley call out “mommy!” And instantly knew that they would now be sat in your section. Did it make you a bad mother if you admitted you would rather die than face him tonight?
“Mama!” Your daughter calls, making you look over as she slides in, Eddie sitting right next to her and then you are forced to confront this. You should have learned about birth control. Better yet maybe you should have practiced the art of condoms more.
Thinking of all the ways you could have prevented this situation as you gaze at your daughters adorable smiling face. God she was beautiful….. still should have used a condom.
“What a surprise. I could have sworn I left you guys with Max.” You try to smile, avoiding looking at Eddie as Ziggy reaches for you. You grab her gently, bouncing her on your hip and she starts playing with your hair clip.
“I got daddy!” Motley admits proudly, pointing to Eddie which makes you look at him. Your heart thumping against your chest, adrenaline rushing through you as he stares at you with those god damn brown eyes.
“Munson.” You greet, turning back to Motley. “Girls, stay in the booth for a moment. Okay? I’m gonna talk to him outside.”
You walk off after that, leaving Eddie no choice but to follow as he jumps up and runs to catch up. The winter hair hits you, and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself to keep some of the warmth, the crappy waitress outfit doing nothing for you.
The second you hear your name fall from his lips you whirl, slapping him in the chest to push him back. “What the fuck is the matter with you munson?!”
“I…. Give me a moment to explain, please.”
“Explain?! EXPLAIN?!” A bitter laugh splits from your lips. “Look. I get it. My life was a bit too messy and fucked up, I’d run too. But you bringing the girls here is just making it worse. You’re going to get their hopes and it’s gonna crush them.”
“Too messy? Who said anything about it being too messy?”
“WHY ELSE WOULD YOU RUN?!” Your voice raises louder than you thought it would, but you don’t back down. “And I don’t appreciate you talking to my daughters without me. Now I gotta tell them-“
The words ‘my daughters’ sound wrong, and you can’t fight the disgust that coats you as you trail off, eyes widening as he stares back at you with a set jaw. “I just mean….. I get why you left okay? My life is chaos and you were really nice for staying and pretending like it was fine. But those girls…. They can’t know you left cause of that. I was hoping, as shitty as it sounds, that after a couple years they’d forget. Y’know?”
You are swiping at your cheeks as tears stream down your face, trying not to look at him. You catch him moving up, his hands outstretched, but you move backwards so he can’t grab you. “Eds. Y-you should just go. Okay? It’ll be fine.”
“No it won’t-“
“It will. I’ll be fine. I won’t be mad-“ then his arms are around you, pulling you in quickly as he shoves your head into his chest and you get to inhale his scent once more. Doing your best not to outright sob.
“I was the mess.” He blurts. “I was scared, okay? I was scared that Billy was gonna turn everyone against me, and I was scared that I ruined Motleys Christmas.”
You scoff, trying to pull away, not really believing the excuse. Before you can fully move he wraps an arm around your waist, his other hand moving to your jaw to drag your eyes up to his own. “I was scared. I was a coward.”
“But-“
“No buts. I didn’t leave cause I thought you were a mess, baby I think you’re perfect and your daughters are so fucking precious to me. I…. You really thought I was running cause I couldn’t handle it?”
“I just-“
“Y/n!” Your boss calls from the door, looking exasperated. “You gettin sick again? Need to go? Or you wanna get paid so you can afford maternity leave?”
You tense again under Eddie’s touch, stomach curling as you try and take a step back while Eddie’s brows knit in confusion before he turns to glare at your boss. “She’s sick.”
“Fine. Take her home. Just have to transfer tables.” The man snaps, turning to walk back in before Eddie is whirling on you.
“Am I crazy or did he just say maternity leave?”
“Eddie….” You sigh, feeling saliva build up as you panic. He watches you, taking a step back just as you lean forward to puke.
-
The car ride is silent. Not the serene kind of quiet and more so the anxiety inducing type.
You had no clue what to say to him at this point. Suddenly everything just seemed to….. silly. You’re reaction and his reaction. You should have just called. Why hadn’t you called?
No, he should have called.
You were being a decent person and giving him space and “mama?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?”
“Ya!” Ziggy yells, making Eddie chuckle under his breath as he leans to turn the heater in the car up. It had been forever since you had ridden in this van, since he deemed it unacceptable to drive the girls around in since it lacked seatbelts or a backseat. Even now everytime he braked he means a hand out to block the girls even with Ziggy in your lap.
“I don’t know…”
“Please! Please please.”
“We will talk about it when we get home.”
Only there was no talking about it, the second you got home with the girls Motley ran to throw away her to go milkshake cup then dashed to your bed quickly which turned into a screaming fit when you tried to tell her no.
The word condom just kept circling your mind as you finally just told her to lay down, she did so and Ziggy soon made her appearance to crawl onto the bed.
Eddie takes off his shoes. Moving to lay with the girls as you turn off one of the lights so the room was dark enough for them to fall asleep, and then you shuffle to the bathroom to shower before bed so you didn’t smell like grease and beer.
It wasn’t even 10 minutes before you heard the door open and shut softly, you turn already knowing he is heading for the shower and watch as the curtain opens lightly.
Normally he would jump right in like he belonged there which would make you laugh, tonight he had a questioning gaze, trying not to over step. You give him a small nod and then the curtain is pushed aside and he dives in, still in his shirt and jeans.
“Edward-“ you warn before his lips are on yours in a searing kiss. He keeps one hand on your jaw to keep your lips connected as his other wraps around your back to keep you close as the water runs over both of you getting his clothes soaked. By the time you pull back he’s already working his way down your neck with kisses as you earn him again “clothes.”
The hand holding your jaw moves to cover your mouth quickly as he peers at you, giving you a fake angry expression that has you laughing. “Do not wake our kids.” He whispers before stepping back to undress.
The jeans take a moment to shuck off since they were wet but the second he is free Eddie dives for you again, showing up just how much he missed you.
-
You sit with him on the floor of the kitchen by the fridge, using the light above the oven as your only source of light while you both snack, keeping cuddled together in nothing but your robes.
Nothing has been said yet, and you were just fine with that, exhausted and happy that he was there. But he has to ruin it, of course he does.
“I’m still sorry.” He murmurs, scraping the cream of one side of an Oreo using the empty side.
“I am too. I think we’re both incredibly stupid right now.”
“You’re telling me.” He blushes. “I just…. There was a time in my life when I hated Uncle Wayne. I had this image in my mind that he was trying to tear me away from my dad. Fuck I just wanted to be with my dad, I looked up to him whether he beat me or not and- the way I treated Wayne and the way I hated him….. my dad didn’t help, everytime I went back with him my mom and I just ended right back up at Wayne’s with more bruises than last time. And when she passed I was the only one there to inflict it. Wayne for him arrested and I swore my world was ending, swore I would never talk to Wayne again.”
“You thought that was what was going on with Motley? That she felt like you were tearing her and her dad apart?”
“Yes and no. I just was trying to prevent that from happening, I didn’t want her to have to experience that choice.” He whispers, picking at the robe. “I just wanted to protect her.”
“She wanted to protect you too.” You whisper back. “That’s love.”
“Billy told her that…. That I was gonna try and replace her.” He gulps, and you stop smiling instantly. “And now that you’re pregnant, and as happy as I am because I am so happy, I need to make sure she knows that I’m not trying to replace her.”
“We’ll make it work.” You mumble, laying your head on his shoulder. “We always do”
He hums out, laying his head on top of yours and sitting in the silence for a moment before you break it once more. “Where are your rings?”
“Haven’t worn them since I got arrested.” He answers, holding up his bare hands. “My fingers were too bruised and swollen at first, then I just couldn’t care to put them on.”
“Eddie?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s go to bed..”
“Give me five more minutes.” He whispers, turning his head to kiss your own, keeping his nose pressed into your hair.
“Why?”
“I just…. I just want to be near you for a little longer.”
-
The sun peaks through the curtains, hitting Eddie right in the face which in return makes him groan out, moving the pillow around to try and block it. I’m his attempt to move Ziggy wiggles around, giving a displeased noise that her dad woke her up from sleeping before moving to lay right on his chest.
Motley does not move an inch, mouth wide open and eyes sealed shut, Eddie has to reach a hand out to poke her and make sure she’s not dead.
She wrinkles her nose, moving closer and shoving her face in your pillow, staying peacefully asleep.
You’re sitting at the edge of the bed, and he can only blink at you trying to straighten his eyesight as he watches you zip up your work boots. (For some reason I imagine go go boots with the 70s look. I don’t know guys. I….. I have no clue).
“You going to work?” He blurts, making you jump.
“Sorry, yeah. Max will be here soon to watch the girls. We agreed on it last night before I left.” You mumble, moving to grab your apron.
“I can watch em….” He whispers, staring at you. The way the sun from the window hits you makes you look angelic.
“Okay.” You smile, moving to kiss Motley and Ziggys heads before you move to walk away. Fully offended Eddie snatches your hand and draws you back, annoyed at the shit eating grin on your face.
“Baby,” he whines making you let out a small laugh and lean down to kiss his lips before rushing to leave.
He lays with the girls for a little longer making sure the blanket is covering all three of them before the day truly has to start and he forces himself to get up. Setting Ziggy down without waking her up was a difficult task but he managed, shuffling to the bathroom to change into todays clothes, thankful that he no longer has to wear all the shit clothes he left at Wayne’s when he originally moved out.
Upon exiting the bathroom he nearly trips over Motley, who had been sitting in front of the door. “What are you doing Metalhead?”
“You took forever…” she whines, wrapping herself around his calf which makes him smile. “I wanna stay with you.”
“Okay,” he answers, moving down to peel her off his leg and letting her climb up for a piggy back. “You’re gonna help me make breakfast then.”
“Waffles?”
“We’ll just have to wait and see.” He smirks, walking down the hall as the front door opens to reveal Max.
“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” She rushes out, face red from running. “I woke up a little late and-“
“It’s no problem. I’m here if you had other things to do.” Eddie offers. “Or you can stay and have some breakfast?”
“Sounds great. I’m kinda ignoring the rest of the group right now.” She explains, setting her bag down and following them into the kitchen. Eddie gets Max set up at the table, trying to set Motley with her but the girl wiggles and whines so he allows her to stay.
He listens to Max rant about the group as he moves around to make waffles, enjoying the easy feeling he gets being here. God why did he ever leave home?
“-And Lucas is just always set out to fight Erica. You’d think he had a crush on Dustin and wanted to date him. You know? I get it, your baby sister starts dating your closest friend. A little weird. But get over it!”
“I think Uncle Dustin and Auntie Erica are so cute!” Motley adds which makes Eddie chuckle a bit.
“Lucas is upset because he always thought they were in agreement that Erica was annoying.” He explains, bending down to set Motley down and bring the food to the table. “But it’s been months. Time to move on.”
“Exactly!” Max sighs right as Ziggy comes pounding in with an angry look.
“Alone….” She whines and Eddie smiles at her. “Aweee did you wake up alone? My poor little baby.” He coos, picking her up and bringing her close to kiss before setting her on his lap to help her eat. He already knew she would not be into the high chair based on the way even Motley was clinging to him.
Even now, as she used a spoon to shove waffles in her mouth, she kept a hand on his own arm to keep him close.
“I’m gonna work on mamas car today.” He explains. “I’ll be right outside. So maybe you girls can stay in here and keep Max company.”
“I wanna stay with you.” Motley whines, giving him puppy dog eyes.
“No it’s too cold. You stay in here. Okay?” And then Eddie gave her his puppy dog eyes. Oh yeah, can’t beat dads game.
She groans and looks at Max who smiles in return. “I’ve been practicing my barbie voices just for you.”
“Fine! But barbie is married to G.I. Joe! Ken is the villain. We’re not arguing about it again.”
“But isn’t it Barbie and Ken? Wouldn’t Joe be the villain?”
“Maxine.” Motley warns, slamming her tiny hand on the table.
“Fine. Got it.”
-
It didn’t last long.
Eddie had put on his mechanic suit, trying to keep warm as he took a look at what was going on with your car. 15 minutes in Motley came out wearing her snowsuit and smiling. “Look daddy! I can help!”
“I thought I said to stay inside-“ a laugh breaks out when she takes off the hood of the snow suit to reveal that she tied a bandana over her head like a hat. “That’s not how you tie it. Come here.”
He helps her tie it like his, telling her to sit a little closer to the grass as he keeps working, making sure the radio is on a station she would like as he does so.
By the time you get home she is making snow angels in the snow of the lawn as he curses under his breath.
“What’s going on?” You ask, making him jump and hit his head on the hood of your car. “Oh! I’m so sorr-“
“It’s good. I’m good.” He laughs, letting you fuss over him anyways. He takes his chance to kiss at you before you are pulling back.
“You are covered in car nastiness-“
“You mean grease and oil?” He laughs, keeping you trapped in his arms to rub his cheek on your shoulder. You yell out playfully, still trying to escape as he does so.
“Does this mean you guys are good?” Steve appears, dustin behind him. “Are you done being mad at me Y/n?”
“I was never mad at you!” Eddie keeps his arms around you as you turn to look at Steve, making sure Motley is good.
“Yes you were. I waved at you the other night and you completely ignored me.”
“I didn’t see you wave.” You reply and Eddie can’t help but laugh.
“I called your name!”
“It was a busy restaurant, how am I supposed to hear everything.” You scoff, pulling from Eddie’s arms and flipping your hair. “Come on Motley. Let’s go inside.”
“Just admit you saw me wave!” Steve groans, following you to the door before Motley turns to shove him and close the door in his face. “Rude!”
“Steve, did you just get beat up by a kid?” Dustin laughs.
“It’s Eddie’s kid. Does that count?”
“My kids are great!”
-
Things took a moment to get back to normal, but that was to be expected.
Eddie found the folder of all your research on places to go, running his fingers over the math you sprawled across the pages to figure out how you would afford it, he promptly threw it in the trash bins outside.
Motley stayed glued to Eddie as much as she could, and in the mornings when he had to get up for work she made sure to wake him up and give him a kiss by the door making sure that he swore to come back before she would dash down the hall and lay with you.
Makeup Christmas happened, except it was only Wayne that was invited and instead of a whole feast you guys ordered a crap ton of Chinese food.
Wayne came over early, sneaking around the back and coming in through the back door which confused the girls to no end but they were excited to see their grandpa.
Ziggy also proved that she learned 2 more words by saying “shit grandpa!” All excited and reaching her hands up for him to grab her.
He howls with laughter, scooping her up and throwing her in the air as she screams in excitement.
Everyone sits around the tree opening gifts, Wayne on the couch with Ziggy on his lap helping her open the gifts. Eddie sat by the tree, passing them out with Motley right by him and you next to her.
He pulls out an envelope that has his name sprawled on it and looks at you.
“I had a plan for Christmas. But I kind of had to redo it. I planned on giving you the stick, but figured since you already know I’d get the ultrasound.” Yoh blush, watching his excitedly tear it open.
It’s quiet for a moment as everyone watches him admire the photo, smiling from ear to ear.
“Anything you notice?” You ask, waiting.
“What do you mean?” He asks, before Wayne snaps his fingers and grabs the photo gently.
“There’s two.” Wayne grunts before his eyes light up. “You’re having twins!”
“Obviously….” Eddie mumbles, “we already knew that?”
“What?”
“The stick? It had two blue lines? So that means we’re having twin boys? Right?” Eddie mumbles, staring at you like your crazy.
It’s quiet for a moment as you and Wayne process what he said before you burst into laughter, the girls following even though they had no clue what was going on.
“Not even close boy!” Wayne cackles as you have to wipe some of the tears from your eyes.
“Does that mean you’re pregnant mommy?” Motley asks, turning to look at you with wide eyes. Your heart stops, going back to what Eddie had told you.
“Yes. Mommy is pregnant .” You wait to see her reaction and Eddie finds himself reaching for the gift he had added two days ago. “Motty. I have something for you.”
He snatches the tiny box, holding it out to her. “It’s a really important gift though. Okay?”
She nods slowly, taking the box from him and opening it just as slow. Inside held a simple chain necklace, but when she pulled it out it revealed that he had hung his mothers ring on it, the one he normally wore on his right hand by itself. “I was told to give this ring to someone very special. It’s from my own mom.”
She gasps, turning to him. “You’re giving it to me?!”
“Well yeah! You’re my oldest kid. My firstborn.” He laughs, moving to help her put it on. Then he snatches another box and hands it to her. “This one is for both you and your sister.”
She reaches for it and opens it gently, pulling out a heavy chain that has a dog tag connected to it. “Another necklace?”
“Well…..” Wayne laughs, flipping it to reveal what the dog tag says.
“Who is Zeppeplin?”
“Zeppelin, baby.” You correct, already standing up.
“Who is Zeppelin?” She giggles, which makes Eddie laugh, picking her up by her armpits to make her stand as you go and open the back door.
The dog, a young little puppy at most, snaps his head to the noise and wags it’s tail excitedly upon seeing you.
“Come in!” You smile and he bolts from his spot tearing up sticks to get inside. Once he hits the threshold of the house he is everywhere. Sniffing the fridge to the chairs, jumping on his hind legs to clean up the high chair where Ziggy left her banana. After inhaling that he bolts to explore more, completely missing the living room as he bolts down the hall to sniff all the rooms.
Once Motley sees the flash of fur she screams in excitement, which draws the puppy back and they both just feed off each others excitement.
She’s jumping up and down, screaming in excitement and the dog starts howling to match her while his butt starts wiggling at how hard he is wagging his tail.
“I am so excited for Chinese later.” Wayne murmurs, coming to hug you as Eddie tries to calm both the noisemakers down. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“Of course, you’re grandpa.” You smile, watching Ziggy from his arms just stare intently at the scene before her. “She can’t tell whether to be excited or scared.”
Wayne laughs, pointing to the dog and trying to help Ziggy see him.
Later that evening everyone sits around the table, Max with you all, as you pile Chinese food onto the plates. Motley keeps showing Max the necklace she got while Wayne keeps bragging to Eddie about his new Jean jacket.
Zeppelin chooses to sit by Ziggy, and it’s very clear that the dog has already figured out who will drop the most food. Ziggy giggles every time she drops a piece of broccoli and he catches it.
“Now we’re gonna have to watch her every time we give her veggies.” Eddie groans. “She’s got an accomplice!”
“Zeppy and Ziggy!” Motley cheers like their superheroes.
-
February rolls around soon enough, and your daughters biggest catastrophe had nothing to do with the restraining order on Billy, or her dads new bike (which she was terrified of). No. Motleys world was ending over valentines cards.
Eddie had helped her pick them out, little heart shaped cards that you could stick lollipops in, and had sat with her to write in them as you took Ziggy in for a haircut.
The only one that Motley had not written a card for was Troy, and now the morning of Valentine’s Day she was still panicking.
“I can’t write love cause then he will want to get married!” She explains and Eddie nods like it’s super serious. “And I can’t write like, because then he will know I have a crush on him!”
“Glad you can admit it.” He nods and she rolls her eyes. “Here’s an idea! Okay, you ready metal head?”
“Ready daddy!”
“You can write ‘from Motley’.” He laughs, watching her face go serious.
“That’s what I wrote on the others!”
“Exactly.” He watches as she thinks about it before nodding quickly and writing it down, tossing it in her valentines box and dashing to grab her backpack.
“She finally figure out Troys?” You ask, shuffling Ziggy in. “It’s been days.”
“She did. We decided on writing ‘from motley’.” He smiles, leaning forward to kiss you before leaning down to kiss your stomach then Ziggy.
“Stevie….” Ziggy giggles, running to the phone. It didn’t take long to figure out that she would be the one to run the phone bill up, even now she spent every morning learning to dial her uncle Steve’s number. She dialed Dustin once but deemed him “poopoo head.”
“Nuh uh. Come eat pretty girl.” Eddie calls, pointing to her chair. “Zeppelin is waiting.”
The dog, who just a month ago had been tiny enough to lay under her chair, now sat at full height beside it. Still a puppy, just bigger.
Ziggy runs, her little pigtails bouncing as Eddie picks her up by the overalls to sit her in the chair. Now trained Ziggy eats his dog food beside her rather than everything she drops, and if somehow someway some of her waffle drops in his bowl then it can’t really be considered his fault.
“Motley, hurry up baby.” You call. “We gotta go.”
“You good to pick Wayne up?” Eddie asks, moving to grab his lunch.
“Yes. I’ll drop Motley off at school and go and grab him.” Wayne had injured his hip, so today you’ll be taking him to the doctors to see what the plan was while Eddie went to work.
“Okay. And Ziggy is still good to-?”
“Ziggy and Zeppelin are going to Nancy’s, yes.” You smile. Nancy had just given birth to her third boy, and she liked having Ziggy over because she liked having another girl in the house.
“Okay. Tell me how it goes?” He asks, leaning to give you one more goodbye kiss as you nod before moving to say bye to Motley. “BYE BEAUTIFUL LADIES!”
The day had started off so well, you should have known it would only go downhill from there.
Wayne sat in the passenger seat of your car, irritated and ranting about shitty doctors. “I’m not doing it. You hear me? Just give me some Tylenol and I’ll be fine.”
“MOMMY!” Ziggy screams, from her spot on her car seat.
The doctor had told Wayne he needed hip surgery and could not work, which meant that Wayne was pissed and you were panicking about what to do. He couldn’t work which meant he wouldn’t be able to make rent and he would need some help to move around. Then when you got to Steve and Nancy’s she had told you that Ziggy had taken quite a stumble off the table and scratched her chin on the corner of the table.
It was a mess.
Both of them were not having a good day and Zeppelin was howling at their ranting and screaming and as much as you loved them you truly debated crashing the car.
Then you got home to yelling.
Eddie stood in the living room, still in his work attire with his hands on his hips and his eyes wide. “You’re in rare fucking form today, you know that?!”
The response to his question is met with a demonic scream from down the hall and you can only assume that Motley was having a bad time as well.
“I’m not getting a surgery, you hear me Edward?” Wayne snaps, limping to the couch.
“What the fuck are you on now?” He snaps back, looking at him annoyed as Ziggy rushes past crying. “What the fuck is going on?”
“It’s apparently a meltdown day.” You sigh, moving to kiss his cheek and go into the kitchen to make a snack for yourself.
Todays pregnancy craving was potato chips with lime juice and pickles, Eddie watches from the entrance of the kitchen with a smile as you settle at the table and enjoy your snack.
He moves and takes the seat next to you, following your lead on snacks.
“Why is Metalhead in ‘rare fucking form’ today?” You giggle, watching his face pinch in annoyance.
“I pick her up and she gets in the car, right? And then she just starts screaming at me! And I mean screaming. The entire ride home! And from what I gather Vinny didn’t give her a valentines card.” He explains. “God. She was yelling like she was possessed. Then I tried explaining that maybe it was lost and that made it worse.”
“Did she get one from Troy?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think she cares either.” He sighs, rubbing his jaw.
“Okay, we let her ride out the fit in her room. We’ll call Steve later to see what happened.”
“Sounds great to me.” He smiles. “She scared me a little. Threatened to cut her hair and everything. Then threatened to cut MY hair.”
A small laugh tears from you as he steals the potato chip in your hand before looking to Wayne’s direction. “They recommend surgery?”
“It wasn’t a recommendation.” You sigh, grabbing his hand and tracing the tattoo. “I think we need to move the house around.”
“What?”
“If Wayne gets surgery he needs to be here. I’ll cut back shifts at the diner and help him out.” You start. “He won’t be able to use the stairs so maybe we can move our room downstairs which would give more room for the twins cribs in our room, but Ziggy has problems with the stairs and she likes coming in to sleep with us cause of the nightmares but-“
“Easy. Easy.” Eddie mumbles, turning his hand up quickly to snatch your hand and pull it to his lips. “We’ll figure it out.”
-
And so you did.
Eddie moved the house around, and turned the basement into a bedroom for you guys. Now with more room and your own bathroom down here he could set up the cribs.
Wayne took your old room, and though the man threw a fit the girls got excited that Grandpa Wayne would be living here now.
He got the surgery in the beginning of March, and Motley and Vinny were still fighting.
You spent your days helping Wayne, taking him to pt and helping him move around the house.
Motley and Vinny got put into separate classes which lead to a whole argument between Steve and Eddie about whose kid was the one to blame.
Life was a bit of a mess.
It all came to head at the children's father dance.
Eddie had dressed in a tux, making sure he looked good as you got Motley ready for the night. With Wayne napping on the couch with Ziggy asleep on his chest drooling (a daily nap these two took) Zeppelin follows at your feet, keeping close to you as you did Motley's hair.
“How do I look?” Eddie asks from the door of the bathroom. “I have a date tonight and I’m really nervous.”
“Daddy!” Motley giggles, rushing to him in her puffy little skirt, hugging him tightly.
“Alright you two. Let me get a picture.” You smile, rushing past to find where the camera had gone. By the time you got a picture of them Motley was rushing Eddie out, ready for the dance.
He struggles to find parking, and ends up finding one right next to Steve’s car, rolling his eyes when he sees Harrington fixing his jacket while Vinny reads in the car.
“Harrington.” He greets coldly, fixing his leather jacket and moving to open the door for his daughter.
“Munson.” Steve matches the tone, scoffing at Eddie’s jacket. “Little Munson.”
“Uncle Steve.” She huffs, fixing her hair.
“Really? A leather jacket Edward?”
“You look like you stepped off a Queen music video, Steven.” Eddie snaps, holding out his hand for Motley. Fighting or not they wait at the front of the car for Steve and Vinny. Walking into the dance together.
“I’m surprised that they even let you in here. Your child is a danger to society.” Steve snaps as they wait in line for tickets.
“Let’s talk about your kid giving everyone but my sweet Angel a valentines card. That’s barbaric.” Eddie defends, watching Motley wave to her friends.
“He didn’t want to. And I don’t need to tell him what to do.” Steve blushes, turning to look at something to avoid looking at Eddie.
“There it is again. You’re acting so fucking suspicious about that card, man.” Eddie points at him, silver rings glinting in the light. “Tell me what you know.”
“Tickets?” The poor woman asks, interrupting their stand off.
“Yes please. Four.”
“No two. I’ll get my tickets.”
“No I’ll get them”
“You’re not buying me ,Steven.”
“He’s buying me.” Motley smiles, snatching the money from Steve’s hands and setting them on the table before grabbing two tickets. “Let’s go get some pop, daddy.”
Eddie can do nothing but follow, letting the little lady lead the way.
After about an hour of Motley showing him everything and introducing him to all her friends she abandoned him to hang out with some of the girls in her class, making sure Eddie was okay where he sat at an empty table nursing a can of soda.
It felt like high school again, watching the way all the other dads surrounded Harrington as the pta moms that decorated huddled together and giggled in the corner. At least the kids were having fun.
Eddie wished you were here, you would be sitting with him.
“Jesus. Gary never shuts up.” Steve mumbles, snapping Eddie out of his train of thought. “I got you a slice of pizza.”
He sets the slice down, giving Eddie a weird smile as he scarfs down his own slice. But eddie wasn’t very hungry, instead he surveyed to check on motley and see her giggling with all her friends as they dance in a circle.
“Your kid has been sitting alone, you gonna help?” Eddie asks, looking to where Vinny sits reading a book.
“I tried earlier. He just said something about me embarrassing him more.” Steve sighs. “Then complained that I ruin everything.”
“What happened? I’ve never seen him alone at a party.”
“Have I not told you? Your daughter is the popular one. They made her move classes and he was left in their old class struggling to make friends.” Steve mumbles.
“Why don’t you get one of the many dads following you around to get their kids over there? It feels like I’m in highschool again, waiting for your cronies to shove me in the bathrooms and lock me in again.”
“How long were you in that bathroom, again? Two hours?”
“Three.” Eddie sighs. “I smoked and set off an alarm so the principal found me.”
“Sorry.”
“Wasnt one of your worst. I was fine.” Eddie shrugs. “Sorry about Vinny.”
“I have faith.” Steve sighs, leaning back in his chair. “I also cannot believe I’m at a daddy daughter dance.”
“It’s a father kid dance?”
“They didn’t want the boys feeling left out.” Steve explains.
“I see.” Eddie smiles, picking at the pizza.
“He wrote one. You know?”
“Sorry?”
“Vinny wrote one. He wrote a valentine for Motley and got her a big chocolate bar. But a girl made fun of him in the parking lot and he panicked.” Steve explains. “Ripped it up and left the chocolate on my car to melt on the seats.”
“I can clean that.”
“You can?!”
“Oh yeah. I got you Harrington.” Eddie laughs right as another dad comes to the table.
“Howdy gentleman.” He smiles, sitting down. Eddie has to blink to recognize, holy shit that’s Tommy. “Oooo. I’m sitting at the hellfire table. So scary…”
“Do you have a kid here…?” Steve asks, blinking slowly.
“Yeah.” He slurs, pointing to the young kid stuffing his face with marshmallows. “You guys want some whiskey?”
“Jesus. I smell it from here man.” Steve snaps, standing up.
“I’m driving. Hard pass.” Eddie laughs, standing with Steve.
“It’s so weird to me that you two are friends! That shit is like….. mind flowing!”
“Blowing.” Steve corrects and Eddie sighs. “Damn it Harrington. It was a trap.”
“Blowing is more for you guys, if you know what I mean.” Tommy laughs and Eddie shakes his head.
“How did you fall for that Harrington? You made that line.” Eddie grumbles, moving to find Motley. “Hey Metalhead?”
“Yeah daddy?” She asks, coming up with her cheeks bright red from all the dancing.
“Have you eaten?” He asks, offering her a bite of his pizza before looking back over to Vinny. “Think you can go help him out?”
“Yeah. I guess.” She sighs, kissing his cheek and rushing to find Vinny and bring him out to dance.
By the end of the night Eddie has danced to about every little pop song she wants, and by the time he is bringing her to the car it’s more of a carrying her situation as Steve tries to trip Vinny up.
“Have a good night Harringtons.” Eddie laughs.
“Sleep tight Munsons.”
-
“Shouldn't you be in bed?” Eddie asks, peering up at you over his book as you shuffle and pace around the room.
“Shut up.” You grunt, waving your hand at him. Your face is pinched up and Eddie finds himself sitting up and staring at you.
“What’s going on here?”
“Edward shut UP!” You snap, pacing back to the wall and holding your hands against it to try and breathe in. “Sorry. Sorry that was mean.”
“Are you in pain?” He mumbles, standing up and putting on his slippers.
It was your ninth month, and Eddie was anxious because he had never experienced the pregnancy part of it all before so every kick and movement made him worried.
“Eddie. Edward. Eds.” You grunt out, and right there something trickles down your leg.
“Did you just pee?”
“EDWARD!”
(Would you guys want me to keep going? I have more ideas {Especially Motley in high school} Feel free to message me if you want me to keep going or if you have any blurbs or requests for them in mind)
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— 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
abby anderson x reader
★ summary ⸻ abby feels terrible, she don't want you to spend time with her knowing that you thrive on social interactions. She feels like she's holding you captive with her introverted ways. ★ sfw! ⸻ purely fluff! very lovey dovey 😩 including; i love u's, usage of nicknames, mention of marriage 🫣. and anything else i forgot to add. this is for ( @paqerings ) they requested " https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRcgu17H/ - this for abby" ★ taglist ⸻@paqerings @vvynia @slut4mascss tag-list is open :) ★ note ⸻i was planning on having this fic out wayyyy sooner but college work took to much of my time. also, after this and a couple more of tlou i will be posting aot content as well!! so stay tuned for that. i hope this doesn't flop ( first time doing anything other nfsw related ) okay bye. now read 💋
⸻ 4:30pm. evening. jacksonville florida. summertime
this is probably the most relaxing evening you ever had in your entire existence. you felt the most safe at home with abby. you had no problem dropping everything to be with abby at home, doing the most mundane things known to mankind. some of your friends would even say you and abby are in yall the "boring couple era" however, the way you would rephrase it would be, "quality time". you didn't mind doing things that might feel boring to others with abby like watching TV, reading together on the couch, or even doing a puzzle on a friday night rather than going out to a club. it didn't matter what. just along you were being touched by her presence. and you know, when the time comes she will be there to cater to your social needs. always.
"I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make- I feel bad
you were feeling like a gooey pile of mush. it didn't matter how many times you re-watch 10 things i hate about you it seems like that movie had the undertone superpower to make you feel like your heart has been broken into a million pieces - and the craziest thing is that they are fictional characters. astonishing. you were so hypnotized by the movie that abby's words fell deafly onto your ears. with a small touch from abby, you peeled your eyes away from kat and patrick. looking at the sight of your beautiful girlfriend, the small colored freckles scattered all around the bridge of her nose. The best feature you loved was her nose and her watercolor eyes. the way her eyes would create this type of expression was only found in the imitation of the wild ocean water. you adored how blue they were under the shining light and how dark they would become in the shadows. "hm?" you blinked a couple of times, staying still upon her sight.
the pads of her fingers slowly and lightly stroke the peak of your shoulder. you moved in closer, head tilting in the process. "you okay abs?" you spoke softly. the guilt-ridden expression painted on abby's face, her chest heaved . "I feel bad" Abby's hand immediately went to the back of her neck while lowering her head. "oh baby" you cooed. the palms of your hands reaching the warmth of her cheeks, lifting her face to make her look at you." why? My love" god. if y'all couldn't get any closer. you moved from the soft cushion onto abby's lap. you draped your arm around her neck while your fingers found the shell of her ear; playing with it to soothe her overwhelming nerves.
"mmcht - I don't know. I feel like you shouldn't be doing this. you should be out - with your friends. I don't want you to be forced to be here just because-
"imma stop you right there, abs" Your lips drew this amused smile, her warm plumped lips being covered by your hand. her eyes flickered down to your hand and quickly back up to your orbs whilst her eyebrow frowned a bit -- giving the impression she was gonna whimper a bit. however, the hand that played with the ruffles of your satin shorts never stopped.
"When I first met you I knew we were the total opposite. I knew that I was more extroverted than you are. which is okay. I didn't let your social awkwardness or your introverted ways stop me from dating and loving you" you reassured. your eyes soften, you love abby with all your heart and when you love someone, you love them whole.
Your hand vibrated against abby's moving lips for a mintue or two. "I agree" you let out a small laugh. you both forgot your hand was taking up space on her face. she removed your hand from her mouth and into her own and as if it was a daily routine between her and you, she intertwined her calloused finger in between yours. "I enjoy my solitude, but ever since I met you I enjoy it even more when you're in it" abby whispered the small confession, god. there are not enough words in the universe to express the amount of love you harbored in your heart for them.
"I love you. I really do" You were lost for words, you love it when abby expressed these types of thoughts she had for you. abby heart swelled with pride at being your girlfriend because she never met someone capable of understanding her in a way she thought only she would. you are her soulmate. In a quick small vision, abby had imagined you in this most beautiful wedding dress known to man and with your ring finger decorated with the most expensive ring ever.
you notice abby was deep into thought so you nudged her slightly, "penny for your thoughts?"
"you wanna get marry?" abby spoke nonchalantly. you were taken back, as one would in this situation. Your eyes practically popping out of your sockets. "what?" you exclaimed.
abby shrugged her shoulders," I mean it"
you dwelled about it for a minute. me? mrs. anderson. that does sound good.
the enddd. 💋
#writers on tumblr#writing#black fem reader#abby tlou#writerscommunity#abby anderson smut#abby x you#abby x reader#abby anderson#abby the last of us#tlou abby#tlog#abby anderson sumt#mass lesbian#abby x fem!reader#abby x reader sumt#abby x y/n#abby sumt#abby anderson fluff#abby anderson sfw#wlw ns/fw#wlw love#abby anderson hcs
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Escreva em português: Can you create a headcanon for ROTTMNT’s Raph who is secretly in love with a female reader? She is an antisocial, hot-headed, and fearless woman who excels in combat and prefers to solve her problems with her fists. She embodies the typical ‘tough girl’ stereotype, and she has no idea that Raph has feelings for her
An: Olá amigo! (I hope that's right) Thank you for the request! If I understand correctly, you want this written in Portuguese? Because, if so, I'm afraid I don't know any other than the odd word here and there 😅 Nonetheless, I really love this idea and I hope you enjoy <3
Sucker Punch my Heart
Raphael x Reader
Considering how much of a softy Raphael is deep down, he was slightly scared of you at first. Your first interaction with him and his brothers was met with being barked at for getting in your way whilst fighting off some random threat.
However, with how brazen you are in the face of danger, it was only a matter of time until he fell for you. He has done and always will be an admirer of those who love to engage in a good fight, fearless to any challenge.
You've given him a run for his money with how quickly you resort to laying in a smackdown. Even if a situation doesn't call for it, you'll find any excuse to raise your fists. Surely, this must be a prime circumstance for the two of you to become good friends at the very least.
Yet, you're more stone-cold around him than anyone else in his family. He can't figure out why. All he's ever done is try to be welcoming towards you. Luckily, April and Mikey share their insight, deducing that it's because he's the strongest and that was likely your M.O. before meeting the turtles.
He's a nervous bean when presented with intimidating situations but stammers like a broken engine whenever you're around. Given the added cold shoulder, this is why he usually admires you from afar. He has less chance of making a fool of himself or giving you more reasons to dislike him.
Plus, it stands to reason that you're someone to be admired. Everything about you has him enamoured: the way you hold yourself, your form in a fight, how your eyes narrow and your lips curve into a smirk when you've defeated an enemy. This guy is down bad for you.
You've never liked being the "damsel in distress" and that hasn't changed since befriending the turtles. That doesn't mean Raph hasn't tried his hand at saving you a few times amidst the battlefield, though.
The first few times was because he was trying to impress you and that much was obvious, which is why it frustrated you so much. You don't need someone to swoop in and be your hero, let alone in a futile attempt to 'wow' you.
Matters were different the fifth time. Enemy numbers were overwhelming and it was just the two of you. It was less of a save and more of a side-by-side, fighting together, and you discovered that you actually make a pretty good team.
Showing gratitude for being helped isn't something you know how to do but when you presented your fist to him for a bump, he knew you were trying. Although, part of you wanted to punch him in the arm and tell him you could've handled it.
From that point on, you started showcasing a slightly friendlier side. By no means are you completely sociable around him yet but it seems like it's been getting easier as the weeks go by.
On the rare occasions that you do let your walls down, you both share your love for the world of wrestling. He doesn't reckon he's ever met another avid fan of Ghost Bear before and it just adds to the stockpile of reasons why he loves you.
Don't even get him started on the first time you laughed around him. It was at his expense for trying to imitate a wrestling move but the sound was like music to his ears. Not even a jab to the gut has winded him so badly in his life.
Raph isn't sure if he'll ever gain the courage to confess his feelings but, for now, he's just glad to have a friend out of you. As loudly as his pining heart screams at him to say something, he doesn't want to ruin the good relationship that he's worked so hard to get.
Your metaphorical shell is arguably harder and less penetrable than the large snapper's, but maybe - just maybe - you're beginning to form a soft spot for him. Maybe.
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#rise tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt x reader#x reader#raphael#raph#headcannons#raphael x reader#tmnt raph x reader#raph tmnt#raph rottmnt#raph x reader#tmnt headcanons#headcanon#request#answered
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It's all over now, baby blue (1/12)
Ushijima Wakatoshi/Female Reader/Oikawa Tooru
Multi-chapter sequel to "Red, like Blood. Blue, like Love."
General Warnings: rape/noncon; nsfw; depictions of post traumatic stress disorder; a lot of negative self-talk (reader pov) Chapter Warnings: panic attack (reader pov); internalized misogyny (reader pov) Note: nsfw stuff won't happen in this chapter since this is a slow-ish burn
“It’s bullshit,” the woman huffed. “This whole soulmate business— it’s all bullshit.”
It's the assault of nicotine that finally made you wince. Of all the things said in that room, a cigarette is what got a reaction out of you.
A cigarette .
How typical.
Crouched down to the pavement, you folded your arms above your knees and buried your nose further into the crook of them.
Her back has yet to part from the wall behind the both of you. There's a mottled stain along the pointed toe of her left shoe. An imitation of a birthmark on this poreless, rouged lipsticked, executive coiffed up haired woman.
And it's not like it escaped your notice, but she's really quite tall, isn't she? This one; more so with three extra inches on.
You shook your head, sank your face further into your knees until you’re just about tasting your own sweat, and pressed your eyes shut. Pointless observations.
Earlier, she made exactly zero effort to conceal her opinion about you, which essentially boiled down to: piss off . Not exactly a new one in your long and illustrious career of not being wanted in any room you walk into. No, she wasn't the kind of person you’d need to catalog observations for. You're never speaking to each other ever again.
But then, all things considered, she tucked the pack of Seven Stars in her blazer with a swiftness that someone who has a cigarette only does when they're caught doing it in a place they shouldn't be. Last you checked, you’re both in the smoking area. There's even a large sign for it.
Right there. “ Smoking area ,” it said.
Yet she hid the thing before you could even shake your head and say, “ I’m good, thank you . Go kill yourself in peace. ”
Because you did hate it, that smell of early death saturating the air. More importantly, you didn't bother hiding it. And you didn’t feel bad not hiding it.
Maybe that was the most important tell about her character.
She didn't say anything. Didn't throw your words back at you– tell you to fuck off, if you're gonna be such a judgy miss despite the fact that it was you who ran here for refuge.
You opened your eyes to take a peek at her again, nape stinging from the effort.
She met your blank look as she dragged a cigarette, then waved through the fog of nicotine like she's shooing a stray.
Suck in. Huff out. Smoke rushed through a grin. For all your open distaste, you let it waft through you anyway. You let her drag another and another.
You only stared, head tilted upwards, the sun exposing phantoms that swirled around the decisive flapping of her hand, driving everything away to God knows where, and you wondered.
How is that possible?
It's all just cigarette smoke to this woman.
Japan wasn’t this humid as he remembered it to be. They were already in the throes of the summer season, to be fair, so maybe Wakatoshi should probably just be grateful that he wasn’t already drowning in his own sweat. Though he’s very close to doing so now.
To the credit of the League, they did take heavy measures to avoid that from happening.
He turned away from the boys he’s instructing, glare forcing him to squint, and finally paid mind to the trailer parked right in front of the court. It was a gigantic thing equipped with a kitchen, bedroom, jacuzzi tub (?), and an AC unit.
On the other hand, his students– boys, stout and lanky things not older than fourteen– were no different from the freshly hatched chicks that he used to watch over when he was growing up in his grandfather’s farm. They blinked at him with wet hair matted to weak, delicate skin. Wakatoshi removed the trailer from his line of sight and, despite complaints for pausing the lesson so soon, barked for some water bottles from a nearby tent.
They rushed to him, ice cold condensation dripping down their fingers, then passed down the water bottles from Wakatoshi to the children.
“You wanna rest for a while?” one of the staff he came with asked. Some Chisaka or other.
“No, thank you,” Wakatoshi replied. “Where are the younger ones?”
The man grimaced and wiped his forehead. “They’re by the food tent having some snacks. Listen, dude, massive fan, but you really don’t have to… do all this. You sure you don’t wanna…?” He nudged his chin towards the trailer again.
Shaking his head, Wakatoshi then promptly left some pointers for the boys in the court and headed for the largest tent propped up in the orphanage grounds.
Summer breeze whispered through the trees. The tent’s blue roof rippled like ocean waves.
The boys there erupted in squeals seeing him, while the rest couldn't be bothered to give him the same attention that they're gracing the sweets bar. That was fair. Nothing could ever compare to a nice fluffy anpan, and certainly not Wakatoshi.
The trailer was still visible from here.
Somehow, it looked even weirder from this vantage point. Massive four-wheeled chrome on barely trimmed grass. Like an alien ship that’d stopped by for some drinks.
The League spends such things on him.
Big dinners with a bunch of suits. A penthouse suite that they insisted that he should start using. Exclusive matcha flavored floss.
The people who Wakatoshi signed a contract with seem to have a different idea on what he came home for. When his contract had ended with Orzeł Warszawa after these couple of years, he really did mean to return to Japan and represent it in the next Olympics.
And the one after that.
The one after that , too, if he gets lucky.
He wasn’t going anywhere. But–
“ Hey. Big guy, big guy. Calm. This isn't amateur hour. You know why they’re doing this ,” his agent had blabbered the moment they’d arrived at the orphanage, a way of pacifying Wakatoshi after he’d given the man a look.
That was a warranted reaction. Wakatoshi came here expecting children who had too much energy to spare, and one named Hiro. That was the one who’d written to him in blue ink– his kanji still rough around the edges, that he’d been watching Wakatoshi play since he was in diapers (that was an exaggeration, they explained to Wakatoshi); that he’d be very extremely so, so happy if he came to see them for his tenth birthday.
He didn’t expect– nor wanted, really– a national TV crew, a couple of magazine reporters, along with a catering service waiting for him in their stead.
“ All eyes are on Japan right now. You guys are hosting after, what, ‘98? How long has it been? ” His agent patted his back as he led Wakatoshi to an interviewer with startling white teeth. “ Not kissing up your ass or anything, but don’t go all modest on me. You know you’re the hottest player in the game right now. You’re the guy. You’re the fuckin’ guy. So many motherfuckers across the globe are gooning to have you on their side and your team sure as hell won’t let those slimy bastards nab you. They’re showing you off and they’re showing off to you. Just enjoy the ride, yeah? Welcome home .”
Welcome home, he said.
Wakatoshi pulled out his phone and skimmed each mail notification that had piled on the screen. More excited-to-have-you-back’s. More invitations to parties that he’d immediately swiped off. Wakatoshi scrolled through international SMS and expected one from a certain area code continents away.
It’d come up empty.
He felt a tug at his shorts.
He looked down to eyes the size of saucers peering up at him. The creature was ninety percent uncombed black hair and ten percent child.
“Aren’t you gunna eat, Uwaka-sensei?” the five year old boy asked. A few hours ago he’d sprawled on the floor crying, which Wakatoshi only managed to placate by giving him a single pat on the head. Now, he’s got strawberry cream smearing his cheeks; a crumb stuck between jutted out gap teeth.
“Not hungry yet,” Wakatoshi replied.
The boy proceeded to raise a slice of cake to Wakatoshi’s knees. “Miss said having leftovers is bad manners,” he argued.
Wakatoshi felt his lips quirk.
“Alright,” he said, plucking it from (hopefully) clean fingers.
Once the food was cleared, of course, the children sprang from their chairs and ran for the volleyball court. The warnings of upset stomachs from the orphanage volunteers went from one ear to the other. Wakatoshi followed. He watched and noted their positions, and reminded everyone about the things that they should have learned earlier. Postures were corrected. The older ones who he’d left with a few practice drills were now engaging in a match of their own.
Wakatoshi peeked at his phone again.
Still, nothing.
The announcement of his return was released months ago.
Excusing himself from the volunteers, he made his way far from the court and the tents, thumb still pressed on his phone.
It wasn’t as if Wakatoshi was expecting felicitations– far from it, but it was even more out of character to not even receive…anything.
Something like “ Can’t wait to smoke your ass ” or other comments that only he could utter without shame, in spite of his age. Their teams are facing each other once again and this time Japan is not cutting corners. Everyone involved is bringing only their best.
Everyone involved is only the best.
There’s nothing on this earth that Oikawa Tohru would love more than that.
All of them had parted and made promises; had defeated each other and won against each other, but they hadn’t had the opportunity to be on the same court all at once in such a long time. All of them– Oikawa more so, had only gotten better over the years, like a blade that had been sharpened beyond perfection. No one would fault Wakatoshi for feeling like he’s back in Shiratorizawa again. Like his agent had said, how long has it been ?
The image of Oikawa standing on the same side of the court comes to him like a ball that hightailed past his defenses. A sudden lightness overtakes him.
He really is getting old, Wakatoshi mused.
All this time, maybe he’s just chasing what he’s owed. The urge to be the first to break the silence between them cropped up—
…but the sound of glassware crashing interrupted Wakatoshi’s plan.
Phone slipped back in his pocket, he searched for the source and landed on the nearest classroom. It had been turned into a makeshift storage area, he noted upon closer inspection.
The door was ajar. Barely a sliver of light inside. Wakatoshi opened it and saw– among the crates of napkins and crockery and table linens– a woman .
She was curled in a ball on the floor. Shards surrounded her like star clusters.
“Is everything alright?” Wakatoshi asked, shoes brushing sharp fragments aside.
He searched for signs of injury as he bent down, knee hovering above the floor. Peering at the tag pinned to her uniform, Wakatoshi tried to call out her name, but to no avail.
Her blown out gaze was inseparable from the floor. Her hands were trembling, back rising and falling in rapid, shallow successions. Wakatoshi became conscious of his own breathing and immediately kept it even, as if tugging at the leash of a trained dog.
His next words were uttered softly, well-practiced, while he tried to make out the movements of her mouth.
“....me,” she murmured.
Wakatoshi leaned, careful not to get too close.
“ Please…help……me. ”
Last Saturday, or was it Monday?, the tap stopped working.
No tap. No shower. The dirty dishes that you promised you’d get to washing after your shift piled up. Leftovers clumped together and fossilized on the surface of each plate, chipped at the edges. The swirl of unfinished tea and soup and juice and accumulated trickles of water when it still worked surrounded it like a moat protecting a reclusive hoarder’s tower. “ The water people came by weeks ago, pumpkin ,” the sweet old lady running the complex told you. “ You forgot again? ”
And because you’d spent everything on groceries, and overdue bills, and medicine for the cough and cold that had left you on the bed with nothing else to do because they couldn’t risk a liability at work, you could only stare at her and say, “ Right ,” and breathe. “ Sorry, ma’am, ” you breathed.
“Breathe."
Breathe.
Weren't you just telling yourself that earlier? This morning, was it? You forgot. But you told yourself that. Inoue couldn’t come today and though it’s not your day yet you went ahead and replied sure yup I can make it :)) to the work group chat even though you’re sure you still smelled like shit. Because you could do it and you’re not weak and you are responsible and in control and–
When that little volleyball exploded on the sleek, polished floor, and you'd dropped the tray like a complete fucking idiot? You told yourself to breathe.
It’s easy. You could do it. You pushed through it. What happened to that, pretty girl?
You're not breathing now are you?
Oh, dear God. Dear, dear. God. You haven't even paid rent yet. What will you tell your manager? You'd just washed those. Are you still breathing now? Look at them. Twenty a piece. Five hundred. Six. You ugly little bitch.
You said you could do this, kitten.
"Breathe."
It’s not you saying it now.
The voice was deeper. Just like mine. Not like that.
"I'm going to help you stand up," he said. "We're getting out of this room."
Not like that. Not like that. Notlikethat– The voice did not tease. My pretty, pretty girl. It didn't have that rise-fall lilt that took pleasure in keeping you on your toes.
This one's as straightforward as an arrow.
Unbending.
True.
"Breathe," he repeated.
But you were breathing. What was this guy saying? You are breathing, aren’t you? The chasm in your chest may have gotten bigger, sucking in all matter and trapping everything inside until there’s barely anything to hold onto– not even air, but you are breathing.
“Look at me,” the man said. And you followed. You felt your neck crane up.
Green eyes, like leaves on branches. Swaying behind him. “Breathe with me.”
Odd. His chest was expanding, inflating like a balloon at a kid’s party, once, twice, then he– woosh went his mouth. You did the same. “Inhale,” he murmured. Once. Twice. “Exhale.”
Woosh .
Wind trickled in, the chime of bells, and all at once you felt like you’d drank water after a good cry, but you hadn’t been crying. You weren’t crying, were you?
“You’re outside now.”
Yes, you are. No, you're not. You're still inside that dark cage, dust in your nose. Iron– hot and suffocating and angry, is molding you, tearing you apart from the insides until muscle and fat are stretched into thin ribbons. Your mother’s warnings, sharp as the squeak of shoes, clear and deafening as boys shouting. Red means run. Blue means–
“Do you smell that? Barbeque.”
The man was incredibly tall.
Smoked meat and onions sailed with the breeze. Birds chirped like you'd just woken up. It felt like that. You closed your eyes and opened them again, looking at the warm anchor before you.
His white shirt was darkened by sweat.
He didn't look like the type to smile a lot, but his face seemed softer now. Severe brows sloped down a determined but gentle gaze. Something began to itch at the back of your head, like you were supposed to remember something.
"You did well," he told you.
And you believed him. ‘Cause he said it like he’s just saying, “ The sun is hot. ” You did well, as in “ A ball is round ” or “ Birds fly .”
And so, you did well.
"What do you need now?"
The feeling of sandpaper in your grip registered in your senses. You glanced down and realized that you'd been holding his hands. For how long, you could hardly tell, but the heavy weight of them held you down, kept you from floating back to the darkness where something waited for you, its starved eyes glowing red and blue.
His palms were rough wrapped around yours. You found that you didn't mind.
"I-" you began. You cleared your throat. "I'm- I'm okay. I think."
He gave a nod in response. His thumb dwarfed yours. And when he brushed the back of your hand– why, you wouldn't have believed it, but your fingers glided, cool as can be, just like dandelion fluffs through the spaces between his.
Silence sat unperturbed between the two of you.
It let the summer critters chatter among themselves. It let the boys playing a game of volleyball just be boys playing a game of volleyball. It let the world just be what it always has been. And it…it was warm, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.
Like being swaddled, almost.
You felt yourself breathing in, the precious seconds right before drifting to a dreamless sleep. (Whose hand caressed whom? Was it yours?)
The haze, however, had to be cut short. Sliced clean through by a pained, guttural noise.
"What's wrong?" you blurted out.
He hissed. " Nothing. ”
Irritation disturbed his once calm features. You felt your heart twist as he discarded his hold on you. You almost begged for its return.
"I'm sorry," you cried, although you weren't sure of your crime. Doesn't matter now. You'd inconvenienced this man. You have to pay for it, kitten. You know what he'll do to you, don't you? Oh, beautiful. He's going to–
He grunted, as if using all his strength to stop your derailing thoughts from setting up in flames.
"I'm sor-"
One sharp look was all it took. You clamped your mouth shut as he grabbed his wrist, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. Seeing his intimidating form bent over ignited prickles all over your palms.
And there it was. Again.
That itch. You're forgetting something. Your hands were burning, but you didn't feel the pain, like they'd been scorched beyond sensation before being dunked in ice cold water. So you looked at them, just to make sure they're still there.
First, the forked lines.
Then, the dashed ones.
"Look at their palms!"
Both of you turned to the sound of cameras clicking. Grown ups and children alike stood before you. They gaped and pointed as more people ran from the bottom of the hill. You felt your stomach drop. You searched his eyes for answers, but those keen olives were just as perplexed as you were.
Knowing that you'd come up short of explanation among the ruckus, he retrieved your hand, disgruntled expression still in place, and turned it palm side up.
"Who woulda guessed, huh?!" somebody yelled.
Neither of you were looking anymore. Not at the audience that you'd suddenly gathered. Not at your palms. You met his gaze, his breathing mimicking yours, chests moving in a familiar rhythm.
Camera flashes made you wince. You could barely tell your left from your right.
That look in his eyes didn't help either, burning you with what seemed like an accusation and–
“I knew it. You really should stop trying to run away,” somebody had said, snickering, right up to your ear.
Inhale. Once. Twice.
“I knewit . You really shouldstoprunningawayfromme–”
Exhale.
“I’ll always find you.”
You took a step backwards.
“I’ll always always always always alwaysalwaysalways–”
The enclosing crowd are heavy double doors, rusted hinges creaking shut, and there is never going to be a way out.
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED INTL
Volleyball Star Scores Destiny Ahead of 2028 Summer Olympics
Temperatures are rising and the competition is getting heated in more ways than one!
Last Wednesday, FIVB Nations League MVP Ushijima Wakatoshi was caught in a first soul glow during a charity event for underprivileged orphans. “We are very happy for him,” Coach Blanchard said to NHK. “He’s been working so hard his entire career. He deserves this.”
The video of the two gained massive attention worldwide. It has a whopping 2 million views on the VolleyWorld Youtube channel and is still gaining traction among non-volleyball fans on Twitter.
@rdlty12
HE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE A PRINCE?? LORD I SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE FOR OTHERS
@_itsmejayne
it’s actually their world n we’re all just living in it i feel sick rn
@KINGPQW
bro met his soulmate while on his way to grab an olympic medal who is doing it like him
@strawberryhertz
not even into volleyball like that but if you catch me watching the olympics for a grown man playing an intense version of don’t let the balloon touch the floor MIND UR OWN BUSINESS
Orzeł Warszawa did not miss the assignment and showed support to their former teammate.
@OrzełWarszawa_Official
See you, lover boy ;))
The identity of the Olympic favorite’s soulmate, however, is yet to be known. Ushijima himself refused to make a statement about this momentous occasion. Nevertheless, with a home advantage, a dream team on its back, and an inspiration of a magical magnitude bestowed upon their ace, it now begs the question:
Is Japan finally ready to take back their gold?
The last time your mother had worn that red lip gloss was when you’d won an award for something. “ Perfect Attendance ,” your teacher had announced.
She came with you to the ceremony, cherry polka dot blouse and vibrant lips, and you couldn't quite explain it then, but you were so sure that having your mother see you win was probably the closest thing that a person could get to flying.
That was in grade school.
The certificate for that is now molding in a cardboard box somewhere.
"What was he really like?" she asked you as the ribs under her knife bled thick sauce.
Her eyes twinkled. Your throat felt tight like you'd eaten too much with little to no space to store it in. You're yet to put a dent on your plate.
She hummed and wiggled her brows, nudging you into revealing more about the man who– in the span of a day, flipped everything you'd settled to believe about your life. You limply stabbed the celery with the prongs of your fork.
Nostalgia truly is a funny thing. Yearning handed out with a grin and a twist to the gut.
"He's tall," you started, shrugging.
"He is," she giggled. "Handsome, too."
A grin miraculously fought its way to your chapped lips, though you may have failed the execution. It seems that it didn’t produce the look that you were going for. Your mother made that face that she makes when she catches you mid-prayer to the porcelain deities.
"Is there something wrong?" she eventually asked. Who wouldn't ask that when you’ve got that permanently ugly, bearer-of-bad-news look on your face?
Is there something wrong, kitten?
You remember that? Same question, wasn’t it? When you ran home all those years ago with your school jacket wound tightly around your waist. Like it could hide shit.
“ Is there something wrong? ” she asked you.
She should’ve stopped asking that question by now. Seriously, how old are you? Something “wrong” only happens to girls who wear their skirts too short and then wander alone at night practically begging for it, not full grown adults who should be more than capable of shelling out for their own life.
Nothing wrong should ever happen to you again. Or what would that make you? Hm? Some little girl whose life goes in circles? Fucking up then, fucking up now?
And just like what you told her before, you said–
“Nothing, mom.” You dropped the fork. “I was just thinking that–”
“ Do you think we can go…far away.. Again? The kids here are mean and– I don't know, I- I just thought, maybe, things would be– ”
“... Different,” you muttered. You pushed yourself to meet her troubled eyes. “It feels…different than how I’d…imagined it to be. It’s odd, that’s all. Can’t help but think that if I hadn’t stood in for Inoue’s shift today… I don’t know–”
I don’t know. The ignoramus shrugged once more. “Woke up that day to Inoue’s message. He said he couldn’t make it. It was supposed to be his shift. I didn’t wanna– you know, I didn’t wanna say I could. I wanted to go back to sleep.” Told myself that I could do it ‘cause that’s what people who can’t do anything say.
“You’re still not feeling well?” Her brows are knitted together. Lips dulled now by the sauce and meat.
“No, no I am. Better. I am better, Ma. All I’m saying is, it’s all just– funny, is it? It could’ve easily not happened.”
“But you still went,” she pressed. Her smile could’ve put the sun to shame even as it’s beaming in all its glory this month. Features softened, voice firm: “It would have anyway, baby. I know that.”
Of course she did.
The story hung above your heads, above the dining room, like motes of dust struck through by the light, waltzing in the air all untouchable, refusing to settle but always, always there.
Sit down. Get comfortable. It goes something like this:
Once upon a time, your mother had walked around the city in the middle of the night, alone and in her pajamas– as one does when they’re nineteen and had decided to sit out on a party because they believed that their friends secretly hated them. She bought a tub of ice cream, sat by the river bank, cried her eyes out, and rode the last train going back. Then, just as the track took a sharp turn and she’d stumbled on her feet, a kind stranger had caught her before she could fall.
The man’s palms glowed as blue as hers.
On their way home (because, yes, he walked her back to her apartment) and her friends had caught sight of the two (“ Girl, where were you?! ”), one of them perked up seeing the man and exclaimed, “ Hey! You were at the party too, weren’t you? Aoto-kun’s classmate, right? Why’d you go home so early?”
That’s why your mother could say stuff like that with all the sincerity of a fish vendor and the finality of a god. She could boldly proclaim, “One way or another, he would have found you even if you or him decided to turn away from destiny,” because it happened to her. All of it– everything that they put in the movies to encourage young girls to hope and dream and someday leave their hearts out in the open for all the world to step on. That was her reality, once upon a time.
But what was it to you, cutie? What will it ever be to you, other than a bedtime story and a dead man in a photograph?
Perhaps that's what separates women like her from the likes of you. Her soulmate took one look at her and immediately decided to keep her safe, swaying her hand in his like they're dancing while playing two truths and a lie.
Yours took one look at you and couldn't be more relieved to see you walk away.
Is that it? Is that the demarcation? Did somebody up there determine who gets to be the woman that gets loved and the woman that gets ra–
Something soft and warm patted the back of your hand. Your mother had reached across the table. “Baby,” she said, prompting you to look at her again. “This is a good thing.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” you mumbled, taking a bite out of an asparagus.
“Everything is meant to be,” she repeated. And, “When are you seeing him again?”
Your mom cooked this food. She called you here for dinner. It still tasted like how it did many years ago. Maybe even better. And don't you think she should be wearing that lipstick forever?
When she’d called you over the phone, as soon as the news broke, she’d– “ I knew it! I knew you’d have it just like the movies. Oh, you should’ve seen Mrs. Sasaki’s face– ” sounded a lot like the angels had woken her up to the vision of her old washing machine running again without the empty clang clang clang. Like you got off your ass and stapled and clipped your insides together and it finally held together.
This time, for sure.
You smiled.
“Hopefully, soon,” you replied, chewing.
#tw noncon#tw non con haikyuu#yandere ushijima#yandere oikawa#dark content haikyuu#ushijima wakatoshi x reader#oikawa toru x reader#red like blood blue like love sequel#chapter 1
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Death Waits
Then there’s Rio. Rio, who laughs like a hyena, sulks whenever Agatha is cruel, loves puppet shows, sleeping in, bad puns, watching people die and for some indeterminate reason, Agatha.
Agatha and Rio in their dating period. Agatha realizes how much Rio would like to personally kill her.
Death is relentless, implacable, everywhere and nowhere. She comes for everyone, stands at bedsides and roadsides, watches them all grapple with the circumstances of their own ends. Sometimes Agatha really sees Her, larger than life, too big for even Agatha to comprehend, one of the sacred mysteries of the universe.
Then there’s Rio. Rio, who laughs like a hyena, sulks whenever Agatha is cruel, loves puppet shows, sleeping in, bad puns, watching people die and for some indeterminate reason, Agatha.
Of course, she isn’t any good at being human, not really. Agatha catches it, in all the little ways and the big. How Rio forgets to breathe, enjoys half-rotten food that she doesn’t always chew and has no understanding at all of what it’s like to be afraid of dying, the latter of which Agatha happily uses to her own advantage, because the most convenient way Rio isn’t human is that she’s not going to die and leave Agatha behind.
Still, sometimes Agatha finds herself watching Rio, sprawled on her stomach, observing a butterfly with apparent fascination and she’s slightly amused that there’s an immortal part of the balance in there somewhere.
She crawls over on top of Rio, murmurs in her ear, ”Drop the mask?”
Death turns her head unnaturally far to look at her, skeletal, noseless, a thousand endings in her eyes, small deaths and big ones, the end of a life, the end of a civilization, the end of a solar system. All hers.
“Why?” she asks and Agatha shrugs, caught, entranced.
“Sometimes I just like to see,” she admits.
“You aren’t afraid?”
“Of course I am,” Agatha says. They both know how much Agatha Harkness fears her own end. “You’re still beautiful.”
Those bottomless eyes change, and now they are not many deaths across all scales, but one death in many ways and Agatha finds herself affixed, frozen, watching herself die over and over again. At the stake, by the sword, of disease, of drowning, in a strange vehicle, to a falling ceiling, to Death hers—
The mask snaps back into place. Rio blinks and then tries an imitation of a human smile while Agatha grapples to understand everything she just saw. “Was one of those you killing me?”
The way Rio shudders under her is slightly unnerving, she knows the other woman well enough to recognize excitement. “That’s almost never allowed,” she says, and yes, that’s definitely excitement in her voice.
“But you want to.”
Rio hesitates, scans her face, then nods. “Yes, Agatha, I want to. I really—yes.”
Agatha has been aware for some time that her death excites her lover. Still, she isn’t sure how she feels about knowing that Rio wants to do it personally.
“Creepy,” she murmurs and there is a flash of real concern in Rio’s eyes. She sits up, spills Agatha off and wraps her arms around her.
“I don’t want it to bother you,” she says.
“You don’t want me to be bothered by the fact that you want to kill me?”
Rio nods. “Right.”
Agatha can’t stop herself from laughing, a small, snorting laugh. “Well, if you don’t want it…”
“Agatha.” Something serious in that tone, something that is going to end in sulking and knives unless Agatha picks another tactic.
Agatha gathers up her lover, warm and soft, smelling not unpleasantly of dirt and growing things, currently remembering to breathe. “It’s fine, it’s fine, it doesn’t bother me.”
“Really?” Rio sounds genuinely uncertain, as uncomfortable as Agatha has ever seen her.
“I do wish you would tell me what happens after,” Agatha murmurs against her ear, always desperate to learn the mysteries of what happens after death. It would just be comforting to have a map. “Who knows, maybe I’d let you.”
She’s on her back with a knife to her throat on the last syllable, too fast to understand what’s happening. Rio’s eyes hold the kind of wild, electric excitement that happens whenever Agatha manages to be something like romantic. That normally ends with Agatha being dragged to bed for hours on end, hardly the worst fate.
Agatha isn’t as sure how this one ends. Her breathing has caught, her pulse is racing and she's staring up at her girlfriend, who is currently looking even more deadly than normal. “Rio…”
“Say it again,” Rio begs. “Ags, say it again.”
“Uh. If I do.”
“Yes,” Rio says, promises, the knife pressing in. “Agatha, come on, come with me, come see what’s behind the veil.”
“Okay, how about we calm down a little first…”
Rio growls, a guttural, echoing sound. Around them, plants have started to sprout, flowers and vines and small trees, the small, flat clearing transforming into a jungle.
“Hey, hey, Rio,” Agatha says, overly aware of the knife scraping skin when she speaks and the way her lover is staring down at her, impatient, hungry, a very, very familiar look. It is the same way Rio watches her when she kills other witches.
Agatha swallows, feels the knife, lets a tremor of real emotion sneak into her voice and says something she hates, “Rio, please, you’re scaring me.”
That breaks it or at least gets the knife to disappear and Rio to collapse on top of her, holding her tight.
Agatha notes that her lover has once again stopped breathing.
“Sorry. Got too excited,” Rio murmurs. “Don’t be. Ags, don’t be scared.
“I’m not,” Agatha says, with her normal brazen contempt for the idea of fear. “I did want you to drop the knife, though.”
Rio pulls back, studies her. “Really?”
Agatha snorts. “Me? Scared of you?”
Rio cuddles tighter against her. “…Good. I don’t want—you can be scared of death. Don’t be scared of me.”
“Of course not,” Agatha says, kissing her hair. “Who could be scared of you? You get distracted by butterflies and cry if I say anything even slightly mean.”
“…I like butterflies, they don’t live very long. And I don’t think I even know how to cry.”
Agatha shrugs. “My point is, knife aside, you’re very unintimidating.”
”Sure, Agatha.” She can hear the smile in Rio’s voice. “…You’re being nice about it. Thanks.”
Agatha cuddles the woman who loves her, the woman she loves so much that it scares her more than Death ever could, who definitely wants to kill her personally. The same woman who laughs at her jokes, puts up with her many personality flaws, lets Agatha drag her from place to place. The gorgeous, compelling, inhuman woman who surprises and delights her, shares her bed and her life, promises never to leave, the one person in the world Agatha has started to believe it just might be safe to love.
”…As far as flaws go, wanting to kill me isn’t that bad,” she decides.
“No?”
“Could be worse. Imagine if you were boring.”
Rio’s shrill laugh against her ear. “Truly terrible. You either, Agatha. You’re never boring. Never entirely what I expect.”
“That’s flattering. You’ve known a lot of people.”
“Not for very long.”
“Still.”
“…You really don’t mind?” Rio asks, still sounding slightly uncertain.
And now Agatha is beginning to see her favorite thing, the angle. “No. Though…you know, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you feel guilty.”
Rio groans with a mix of affection and exasperation. “Oh no. Agatha Harkness has found a weakness to exploit.”
Agatha gasps in mock-offense, a skit she's done a hundred times before. “Would I do that?”
“Always. You know, I do still have a knife.”
“I know. The one you want to kill me with.”
“…You’re going to use this for a long time, huh?”
“Probably. It does seem like me. But you love me anyway, right?”
Rio sighs against her skin, a whisper of warm air. “More than you will ever know.”
"And that's why you want to kill me?"
Rio snickers. "Yes, Agatha. That is why I want to kill you." There is something longing in her voice and her hands on Agatha are starting to move more purposefully, unlacing the back of Agatha's dress.
"But also why you won't?" Agatha murmurs, pressing feathery kisses against Rio's cheeks, the corner of her lips.
"I won't because I'm not allowed," Rio says, even as Agatha's attentions elicit a soft whine from the end of all things.
Agatha kisses her lover, soft and sweet, a caress, an adoration, an act of worship. "But also because you love me. And you know I'm not ready to stop yet."
Rio nods reluctantly. "…Yes, Agatha, all right. Have it your way." A smile curls her lips, and it isn't a nice smile, too sharp, too big, an inevitable promise. "I can wait for you as long as you need me to. But let me do it, all right? When the time comes?"
Agatha, even Agatha, can't help but suppress a shudder. "Sure," she agrees. "But when I'm ready, okay? Until then," her hand cups Rio's cheek. "Wait for me."
She never fails to be delighted that she can make Death tremble. "As long as I have to, beloved."
That will be forever, if Agatha has her way. She can't imagine wanting to stop, wanting any of this to end. On the off chance it ever has to, though, on possibility that she someday changes her mind, well, she supposes Rio will have earned it. Agatha Harkness isn't an easy prize. She can make even Death wait.
Want to read something else? Try Agatha Sleeps for Rio being a good secret second parent or check out the master list for more
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