#do you all like my drawing of clown phil? i worked very hard on it. clearly.

[dnpg-hiatus-survivor]

remember when we thought we would get videos every day in june? yeah we were fucking stupid.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited.  I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When���s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

[ryanmeft]

Ralph Breaks the Internet Movie Review

The internet is more or less defined by things meant to distract children for the next eight seconds of their five-year-old lives. Sure, there’s a lot of great uses for it, and it makes writing things like this review much easier. Huge swaths, though, are candy-coated emptiness of no nutritional value. So it’s kind of ironic that one of Disney’s funniest, most enjoyable movies was given a sequel set in the internet.

Ralph (John C. Reilly) and Vanellope (Sarah Silverman) have saved the arcade they live in and now enjoy a regular routine as best friends. Co-stars of the original movie, Felix (Jack McBrayer) and Tamora (Jane Lynch) are relegated to cameos; that’s a shame in Lynch’s case, but I was all right with less of the aggressively annoying Felix. Ralph is content with his day-in-day-out pattern, but Vanellope wishes the racing game she’s a character in had more than three tracks, and when Ralph obliges, he accidentally wrecks the game, putting it in danger of being unplugged and leaving his buddy and every other character in it homeless. To fix things, they head off into the internet, newly connected, to search for a replacement part on Ebay. When they end up overbidding a little, they have to earn the money somehow.

The internet, it turns out, works much like the futuristic cities you see in sci-fi movies invariably set in either Los Angeles or Tokyo, except instead of ruined landscapes and menacing biker gangs, you have popular websites rendered as buildings and roadside stands. Pop-up ads take the form of those people you see on the street in New York with giant signs advertising unbelievable deals on flip-flops. The shadiest aspects of internet life are handled in the dark web, though thankfully the movie version is free of self-appointed economists insisting bitcoin is the future of everything.

This brings in a host of new characters. JP Spamley (a mysteriously uncredited Bill Hader) promises easy cash from locating luxury digital items for lazy gamers. Shank (Gal Gadot) is a stylish race-car driver in a post-apocalyptic game called Slaughter Race, whose deadly courses and unpredictable gameplay feel like home to the bored Vanellope. Alan Tudyk voices the personification of a search engine, who is always trying to predict people’s sentences. Alfred Molina is a seedy hacker who looks like Jabba the Hutt. Taraji P. Henson is Yesss, a personified content algorithm on a down-market Youtube (if you don’t know what a content algorithm is, you will not grasp much of this movie’s humor).

Yesss is the movie’s new-character highlight. Blue, stylish, and completely obsessed with the trend of the next few seconds, she helps Ralph make money off videos of him doing stupid things, which rack up the hits and therefore the money as if from a firehose. This is exactly how writers feel when someone posts a half-formed fart on Twitter and gets 80 billion retweets, not that this bothers me or anything. Henson’s voicework is perfect for a character who represents the internet’s most vapid, fleeting impulses. The best sequence, however, belongs to the aforementioned violent racing game, in which writers Phil Johnston and Pamela Ribon have placed a terrifically funny satire of something that is obligatory in every Disney musical: the dramatic number in which the heroine sings about her dreams. This time, it is accompanied with longing looks into a puddle of spilled soda and psychotic clowns.

As expected, the movie is drawing a little criticism for the wealth of product placement and pop culture references that litter it. I was afraid I would feel the same way, as the trailers place heavy emphasis on an incredibly self-serving scene full of Disney heroines. Make no mistake: this scene is in the movie to inspire little girls watching it to go beg their parents for more Frozen merchandise. It also happens to work. Given what could have been shamefully transparent marketing, we instead get a PG-but-rather-biting takedown of every trope Disney ever stuck into a princess movie, culminating with all the girls lounging about in t-shirts and jeans, discussing how they are so over being saved by handsome princes. The various princes are nowhere to be found, presumably because there’s a game on. They even managed to make Jasmine look Middle Eastern.

The movie embraces today’s here-and-gone pop culture fairly warmly, with not much of substance to say about it. Of course, mid-century Disney movies like the wildly popular Davy Crockett catered to the heavily romanticized sense of Americana that defined childhood at the time, without criticizing it. RBTI is being made to appeal to a generation who literally lives in the internet. You can like that fact or not like it, but Disney was never going to be too hard on the culture that encompasses so much of their young viewer’s lives.

If the movie has a weakness, it is in the third act, which eschews the rampant humor and the always-engaging banter of Ralph and Vanellope for a comparatively standard showdown that is resolved in the exact same way as almost every Disney movie in the last 30 years has been resolved. In this regard, the inside-the-internet setting really did have a chance to offer something different, and it very much doesn’t. The mostly light issues with product placement get really bad for a moment as Disney shoehorns their self-marketing into the finale. Overall, directors Rich More and Phil Johnston, responsible for the original film and the excellent Zootopia, keep things light-hearted and fast-paced enough that these momentary lapses don’t hurt the film greatly.

Wreck-It Ralph was a joyous ode to the days of my ancient youth, back when arcades were still everywhere and kids knew what “got next” meant. I was at San Diego Comic-Con the year it released, and a throwback arcade there had set up a machine with the titular game on it. The entire city was filled with movie stars, famous artists and events showcasing the best in pop culture, and my roomies and I missed half of it because we were trying to stop Ralph from breaking windows. That infectiousness translated into the movie itself and has survived intact in the sequel, with humor, heart and action winning out over Disney’s obvious fetish for promoting itself. Ralph is one of the few Disney franchises that could keep supporting new movies. And if the studio can inflict another Frozen on the world, surely they can see fit to keep this old arcade’s lights on for another film.

Verdict: Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

 You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

 Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

 All images are property of the people what own the movie.

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its 10:02 pm dark/chilly/woah!!

Welcome to “8 Questions with….”

Before the cheetah and I teamed up to become the best film reviewers ever,I used to just use films as white noise (I have shared this story in a past blog). Around 2015ish I started to actually WATCH what was on my screen and one of the early films I did take a interest in was a movie called “The Hit List”.  I bought it because it had former teen star Joey Lawrence on the cover looking very dapper and with a very cute blonde. Now I’ll be perfectly honest here,I wasn’t expecting much because I had never seen anyone cast Lawrence in a serious way. But to my pleasant surprise,”The Hit List” was really good and Joey Lawrence was easily the best thing about the film,up to that point,I can say its the best thing he has done and I was really impressed with him. I looked at who the director was to have that much faith in Joey and had gotten such a good performance from him. I saw the name Minh Collins and then promptly forgot it. Now its 2020 and a young PR guy named Phil Herman pings and wants to know if I am interested in talking to a director of a new horror film called “Clown Fear”. I type up Clown Fear up in IMDb and see Minh Collins name,when I looked him up and saw his credits and “The Hit List”,I was pretty pumped. Hell YES,I would love to talk with Minh. I knOw that this man has skills and more importantly,he was into taking chances with his casting choices. To be able to get the best out of a cast is never a easy job for a director and I’ve seen that enough while reviewing movies. Minh Collins is such a director and I really enjoyed putting his 8 Questions together and even more happier that you get to read them……so let’s get going,shall we?  

      Please introduce yourself and tell us a little about your latest project ,”Clown Fear”?

   Hi, my name is Minh Collins. I’m the writer/director of the new horror film “Clown Fear”. This movie was inspired out of frustration while casting another action film called Asphalt Jungle. I had funding in place for that movie but needed to cast a name actor. My team spent about a year in preproduction and were on the verge of signing a big star, but it wasn’t meant to be, because at the last minute we had scheduling conflicts. I was then informed at that time of Lionsgate opening slots for their horror films in the coming year. I immediately switched gears and started writing the script. I knew casting for a horror film would be much easier because I didn’t need to rely on a name actor to greenlight my project. By the way, here’s a great story of how I cast all the female leads in my horror film. I was at a bar in North Hollywood while having drinks at a friend’s birthday party. I was talking to a group of ladies and one thing led to another when someone suggested we all do a film together. It was all talk at the time while under the influence of several cocktails, flash forward a year later we started principle photography on Clown Fear. I kept my word and hired all the girls for the movie. I truly love the casting process on this project because it was so much easier to not rely on one actor to greenlight my project. My producer Asif Akbar and I made all the decisions and as you can see, most of the cast are friends that we have worked with on past projects. There are so many amazing talents in LA.

 What was growing up in the Collins home like? Did you always love films even as a young child? Were you parents very artistic and did they encourage you to express yourself?

Growing up in the Collins home was pretty normal. My family loved sports and my brother and I were athletes. We lived in Ventura near the beach so I participated in Jr. lifeguard every summer, played youth football during the fall and little league baseball in the summer. My dad was very involved with us kids and coached our team until we went on to play in high school. Pretty much year round sports for us, so I had aspirations of playing professional sports but an injury while playing on the varsity football team at Buena High School was a setback. My parents wanted us kids to be doctors or a lawyers so being artistic was not encouraged in our household. Growing up, my hobbies were photography and painting.

 When did you know you wanted to get into the film industry and and how did you end up behind the scenes when so many want to be in front of the camera?

While working at U.C.L.A. medical center, I learned about the film industry. My first job was doing background on a T.V. commercial. The first time I stepped on the set, I knew I wanted to direct. I quit my job and started working as a P.A. on the U.S.A. network show called Pacific Blue.  Even back then, I never had any aspirations of being in front of the camera.  I did appeared in a small role in Star Trek Voyager years ago where I played an alien.

   What was directing your first project like? What were three things that prepared you the most for directing? Should new directors do short films as a rule?

I directed my first short film back in 2004. It was a twisted comedy call “Gratuity”. It’s available on Youtube if anyone would like to visit my very first film. I had such a fond memory of that project and also learned so much. This was back when digital was just emerging as the new media and everyone shot in 35mm. I remembered the Canon XL1 was the rage but I didn’t like the looks of it at the time. So I decided to go with the Panasonic HVx 100 that gave the movie a closer to film look. We shot the short in 2 days at the old Holiday Inn on the beach in Ventura. That film led to acquiring funding for my first feature film “Hit List”. So, yes I truly believe directors should do short films. It’s the best way to show investors a sample of their work. I don’t know if I have three things that prepares me to direct a film. It’s more like 100 things but here are three very important things to me. 1. I believe a director needs to have a vision. Without a vision then it’s very hard to convey what is needed from the cast and crew. 2. A director needs to know his/her shots. Either a storyboard or a shot list. 3. This is the one that I believe should be the most important, a director needs to know how to work with all type of different personalities on a set.

 What is the biggest difference between being a film director and a producer? Which hat do you prefer to wear and why?

This is a great question! I prefer to being a director than a producer. The director has all the creative control of the film. Of course things can change in post but I like to also work with my editor to finalize the final product. On this project, we had an extremely short shooting schedule and it was up to me as the director to capture all the shots. I needed to be 110% prepared with my shot list because there’s not enough time to try and figure things it out during the shoot. I like to describe the role of the producer as someone that creates the atmosphere for the director to paint his art.

What was the genesis of “Clown Fear” and why do you feel people are so scared of clowns? How did you draw Grindstone and Lionsgate into the project?

I’ve touched on how the concept of “Clown Fear” was inspired earlier but as why people are afraid of clowns. Hmm? It’s an enigma to me. Everyone has phobias and coulrophobia is definitely a very interesting phenomenon. I’m not afraid of clowns, but I have a theory why. I believe it stems from childhood when parents have a clown at their children’s birthday party. A kid’s first association at the age of five of some weird clown makeup person could be extremely scary on a child’s impression.

   Going into this project, I knew we had a good chance of getting Grindstone/Lionsgate to look at the script. Of course there were no guarantees of them picking up the distribution. I’m glad we were able to finish the deal once we were done with the film.

 How hard is it to co-write a script with another person? Walk us through a typical writing day and tell about your process.

The writing process was very tough because I knew we had a short window to turn it in for approval. I was finishing my documentary at the same time with my producer on a documentary film “Rocking The Couch”. We spent about twelve hours each day for two weeks straight editing and at the same time I would be writing.

 What is the line between “horror” and “torture porn” and how does a director decide when enough is enough in terms of violence?

There are many horror films that I considered torture porn. For me, it’s when the nudity and sexual content stops being a part of the story. I try to stay within a certain criteria for “Clown Fear”. We were able to get the “R” rating through the MPAA board. If it doesn’t pass with the “R” rating then we would have to re-edit the movie to meet the criterias. Fortunately, we passed with the “R” rating the first time through but I knew we were well within the criteria. Each pass can be extremely expensive due to re-edits and re-submissions. Grindstone/Lionsgate would not accept our film if it got an “X”.

 What is the health of the indie horror industry in your opinion?

I believe indie horror industry is doing well in today’s changing market. There was a recent article in Forbes about the horror genre still being the most lucrative for investors. The reason is due to a horror films can be produced at a low cost and there’s a constant demand for new contents from horror fans.

 What three actors have you enjoyed working with the most and what makes them so great to work with?

You guys really ask tough questions. I really enjoyed working with so many actors over the years. I had such a great time working with Joey Lawrence on “Hit List”. Joey and I had the same understanding of the script and we saw his character in the same light. When the lead actor is easy to work with then it makes my job a lot easier and we can focus on being creative. I love working with Darcy Demoss on Clown Fear. Darcy was such a great person to collaborate with on this film. It’s nice when someone is a pro at what they do, then it’s easy to mesh the role into one vision. The other actor that I enjoyed working with is Marv Blauvelt aka Tiny Clown. In life, sometimes being in the right place at the right time is what it takes to get that break. This was the case with Marv, I had problems with the lead actor on the first day of filming and decided that it Iwasn’t going to work out. I had kept Marv on standby and decided that day to do a last minute replacement. Marv gladly dove into the lead role of Tiny Clown and never looked back. He had a lot of energy and passion for the part but just needed some direction to create the persona that made the character come to life. I loved what he brought to the table and there were times I knew it was too over the top and curved him back. I prefer to work with someone that is enthusiastic with a role than someone thinking they are above it and will just go through the motion.

 What scares you?

Well, for one I was never afraid of clowns until we filmed this movie. LoL! I don’t have coulrophobia if that’s what you’re thinking but I have respect for them now. There were so many “fires” during the filming of this movie. We had so many things that went wrong that it became a standing joke with my producer and I. We blamed it on the “Clowns” as if they were playing jokes on us. So after all the craziness that happened, I now believe there was a real clown entity that was there playing a role with the entire production. It’s like the clown spirits watching us, so now I understand why people have a fear of clowns.

 The cheetah and I are flying over to watch your latest film but we are a day early and now you are playing tour guide,what are we doing?

I’m going to run you both by my town of Hollywood Florida. It’s the best hidden gem of the east coast. Most tourists will visit Miami or Fort Lauderdale but nestle between these two cities is my little town of Hollywood Florida. It’s a quaint beaches community with great restaurants and bars on the ocean front. Beautiful sunsets on the intercoastal waters and the best film festival in the state (Hollywood Florida Film Festival). https://www.floridahollywoodfilmfestival.com/

I like to thank Minh for taking the time to talk with us about his craft. “Clown Fear” is out now and can be found at Wal-Mart,Best Buy and other large retailers. While you’re at it,snag a copy of “The Hit List” off Amazon or EBay,you’ll be glad you did!!

Thanks to Phil Herman as well…..this was a lot of fun!

As how you can follow Minh’s next move…….

You can follow him on his IMDb page. You can follow him on Twitter. You can also follow Minh on his InstaGram page.

Thank you for reading and sharing Minh’s interview with your friends and peers. If you’re new to the blog and the “8 Questions with….”series,you can catch up here. Feel free to drop a comment….

8 Questions with………..film director/producer Minh Collins its 10:02 pm dark/chilly/woah!! Welcome to "8 Questions with...." Before the cheetah and I teamed up to become the best film reviewers ever,I used to just use films as white noise (I have shared this story in a past blog).

[blschaos3000-blog]

Its 5:02 am cold/chilly/clowns!!

Welcome to “8 Questions with……”

In doing this interview series,it is often that I find the folks I chat with here. But once in a blue moon,I will get a email from someone asking me to interview someone they know and whose story they think should be heard. This is how I met our next guest,the lovely Courtney Akbar who is starring in the new horror film “Clown Fear”. I was pinged by a very cool dude named Phil who asked me if I would be interested in talking with Courtney and I instantly jumped at the chance. I could tell by the way Phil was talking about the film and its cast,he was pretty stoked to help promote it and I could sense the excitement in his voice when he was talking about it. It told me that Courtney is a very talented and hard working actress with a very bright future. I know that excitement myself when I find someone who I think is the next big thing. I quickly put this interview in motion and I really hope you all like meeting Courtney as she answers her 8 Questions……so quit clowning around already and start reading!!!

    Please introduce yourself and tell us about your current project.

Hi! I’m Courtney Akbar, thank you for taking the time to interview me today. My latest film, Clown Fear, just released last month in the US by Lionsgate on February 18th! This is a fun horror comedy about a murderous and insane clown family preying on all of the outsiderswho impede into their town. My character, Kat, is the only daughter of the cult family’s leaders, Tiny Clown and Myrtle. Kat doesn’t seem to fit into the family she was born into and has finally reached the crossroads to her future. She is stuck between two worlds wanting to have friends outside of her small town or succumbing to her family’s traditional and murderous festivities.

What was it like growing up in your home? What are your three  fondest memories growing up?

I’m very fortunate to have spent my childhood in the same house with my family in a small town in Massachusetts. My fondest memories growing up are all times spent with my family. Rather than a particular day, I have so many great memories spending summers at the ocean in Rhode Island! My dad isn’t a big fan of the sun so my mom took us on most trips. We basically had a routine of having some friends spend the night, waking up at 5 or 6 am, heading to the grocery store to pack a giant cooler with what we wanted that day for lunches and snacks. We were always some of the first people to set up ‘camp’ in our usual spot in the sand; we would just spend the entire day on the beach walking, swimming, boogey boarding, eating, and napping! Another summer tradition we had as a family was spending a week every summer on a lake in the mountains of New Hampshire. We spent lots of time swimming, going out to restaurants, playing games, walking our dogs, gazing at the stars, and just spending time with each other.

When did you get the acting bug and what was the reaction from your family and friends? Did they support your goals once they saw you were serious about acting?

What was the defining moment you knew you wanted to entertain?I’ve wanted to be an actress for as long as I can remember, I was always drawn to the arts. I remember all throughout junior high and high school I would talk about moving out to LA to become an actress and I don’t think anyone really knew how serious I was until I actually made the move. I have so much support from my family and friends with my career that it’s really humbling to see how many people get pleasure out of seeing me succeed and being happy living my life the way I’ve always wanted to.

What was the first film you did as an actress and what left an lasting impression on you from the experience?

The first film I worked on as an actress left a lasting impression on me by teaching me that sometimes you really just need to be at the right place at the right time. I was hired on the film “Assassin X” to be the assistant production manager and ended up being asked to take a small role in the film! That’s also when I learned my skin is sensitive and I broke out with a horrible bumpy rash all over my face as soon as the scene was over! So embarrassing *lol*.

What draws you to horror? What do you look for in a horror script before taking the part?

I’m a big fan of watching horror movies myself which makes filming a horror movie even more fun! I love the adrenaline that comes with watching a good, scary movie. Horror is usually my go to when browsing to pick a movie. Before taking a part in a horror film I do look for a good storyline in the script and that my characters have substance to them.

Is there a creative limit in what you’ll do in a part? How do you handle any “last secend script changes”?

Fortunately I haven’t come across a scenario where I have discovered a creative limit for myself. With my experience in filming there are always last minute script changes, large and small. As an actress I am flexible and have experience adapting to changing scripts due to last minute reasons. I do my best with this wild career that I love!

Why do you think people are scared of clowns and are you yourself scared of them?

I think some people are afraid of clowns because they’re people in disguise and the face of a clown can carry many different emotions. Having your face heavily painted is almost like wearing a mask, making you unidentifiable and mysterious. I’ve only had a few interactions with real clowns in my life and none of them were bad so no, I am not afraid of the standard clown. But, if I were to see a dark, purposefully scary looking clown I definitely wouldn’t run up and say hi! I think the Clowns in Clown Fear will definitely give people with coulrophobia nightmares.

What is the state of the indie film community in your opinion? Is there more work because of streaming or less because of the competition in getting roles?

I feel as though streaming has become a double edge sword for the indie film community. It’s absolutely a lot easier to get your content out and available to mass audiences globally, but with so much competition it’s never a guarantee that your project will get picked up or become hugely popular by one of the major platforms. I think the benefits of streaming outweigh any negatives as we do have the demand for more content now, more than ever.

How do you prepare yourself before a day/night of shooting? Do you have any routines you do?

How I prepare myself is different on a day to day basis depending on the scenes being shot. If I have a heavy scene with crying then I like to spend my day rehearsing somberly, in contrast to shooting a party-like scene I would spend my day blasting music lightheartedly. I like to rehearse a ton and know all my lines and which scenes I have for the day/night ahead of me, along with any questions or ideas I have for the director and my co-actors. I don’t have a set routine but I like to include facials, manicures/pedicures, plenty of sleep, and lots of studying and research on my role!

What do you like to do for fun when you are not working?

Some of my favorite things to do for fun are going to the beach, going on hikes, watching a movie or tv series with my husband, playing with my Pomeranians, baking, and photo shoots! I’m happiest when I’m with my family so even a simple trip to Target with my husband can be fun for me!

The cheetah and I are flying over to watch your latest film but we are a day early and now you are playing tour guide,what are we doing?

Definitely brunch in Santa Monica followed by a walk on the beach! Then maybe hit the Grand Central Market for a coffee and some more food! We could end the night in Hollywood at a comedy show or concert, or anything else you & Cheetah would like to do! Oh, we can’t forget a quick stop at the infamous Hollywood sign for a picture!

  I like to thank Courtney (and Phil) for taking the time to chat with me. But we ain’t done with “Clown Fear” just yet,we have a couple more surprises up our sleeves for you so stayed tuned.  You can currently buy “Clown Fear” at WalMart and Best Buy.  I’m sure that you’ll agree with us after you watch it that Courtney’s star is on the rise.

You can see what Courtney is doing next by visiting her IMDb page. You can follow Courtney on her InstaGram.

If you’re new here to the “8 Questions with…..” interview series,you can quickly catch up by going here. Thank you for your support and please feel free to drop a comment below.

8 Questions with……..actress Courtney Akbar Its 5:02 am cold/chilly/clowns!! Welcome to "8 Questions with......" In doing this interview series,it is often that I find the folks I chat with here.