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monstersinthecosmos Ā· 1 year ago
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Some Marius/Pandora content from the Pandora draft at Tulane:
He set me down in the middle of this library, amid its couches and racks of scrolls. He stared at me. Beautiful Marius. I realized he was looking right at my nipples, at how pink they were, and then shamelessly he let his eyes wander over my entire form. I didn't realize yet that all wrinkles of age had been smoothed away. I knew only that I intoxicated with my new vision and that he desired me so much his heart was quivering in him. I reached over and pulled at his tunic. I pulled at the buckle he wore on his shoulder. "What are you doing." "I want to see you as well," I said. "I want to see this marvelous Osirian phallus, that is now no more than an ornament." He rebuckled his tunic. "Why do you cause me pain like this? Why?" "Because you treat me badly," I said. He stepped forward and clasped my face. He meant to kiss me. I wouldn't have it. "Look, master magician. Conjure up a tunic for me. It's not my habit to launch into religious debates while stark naked." He was poisoned by my words. It broke my heart to see how I had hurt him. I did not want to see the blood film rise in his eyes. But I knew his pain as if it had tentacles and they could surround me and draw me deeper and deeper to the core.
I fucking can't get over the concept of Marius as a fledgling trying to make sense of desire and thirst and sexuality. Pandora is so much more open about wanting to poke at it and figure it out and yet he's so burdened and traumatized already, so unable to be vulnerable. I wish we got more canon about this time phase of vampirism from other characters aside from David in the beginning of Merrick, it's really so underexplored!
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word-count-bullet-count Ā· 4 months ago
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I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great
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bacchuschucklefuck Ā· 5 months ago
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
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bixels Ā· 10 months ago
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader ā€“ā€“ an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
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Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best ā€“ā€“ if you've been wrong the whole time ā€“ā€“ that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
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14dayswithyou Ā· 3 days ago
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HAPPY VARENTINES DAY, ANGEL ! I've been facing some tech issues recently, but!! To celebrate Ren's birthday and Valentine's Day, I'll be releasing Day 5 (the Early Access version) for all the Beta Testers in a few days!
And for those who aren't part of the 14DWY Discord server, don't worry! The public version will be available for everyone to play once the beta testing period is over ^^
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#I don't have internet right now because my service provider is ass </3 I fear we may be livetweeting from my campus wifi right now lmao /hj#Anyways!! For those unfamiliar with how the whole ''Day update'' releases work; it's as follows:#Beta Testers ā†’ 14DWY Discord Server ā†’ Public Release#I always feel bad for those who pay money to boost da server (or donate to my ko-fi); so I want to offer them early dev logs and game acces#But members can also become a Beta Tester for āœØfreeāœØ by chatting and reaching level 50 ā€” or by taking part in server events >:3#They get access to all dat + unique server perks (like special name colour; upload & emote/sticker perms; [REDACTED] pixels lmao; etc)#And just so that it's not too overwhelming for da folks on Discordā€”#ā€”I don't think I'll make a Twitter/Bsky announcement until Day 5 is officially available for beta testers to play#Or... until I can find a new service/phone provider because an additional $40 a month is NAWT the vibe!!!!! T_T#I also do not want to drive 1.3 hours into the city just to use my uni's/McDonalds wifi hjgdgjdhjgd#But I fear this may be the price I need to pay to have extended wifi coverage to the middle of nowhere </3 /lh /silly#Oh lawd.... How am I going to upload the files to Itch........... T_T#Brb brawling and bawling a certain internet provider real quick <3#šŸ’– ā€” 14 days with queue.#šŸ–¤ ā€” updates.#šŸ–¤ ā€” shut up sai.#I'll make a new rebloggable announcement + use the 14DWY tags once Day 5 is officially out!!
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erabu-san Ā· 9 months ago
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I enjoyed every second of this quest
[This art has platonic intention. Thank you for not tag ship!]
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umblrspectrum Ā· 2 months ago
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happy solvermas
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fictionadventurer Ā· 1 year ago
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How did Treasure Planet manage to come up with the greatest aesthetic in all human history? Victorian elegance plus space-age flair, with just enough dirt and grime and wear and tear to make it feel real? A combination of traditional and computer animation that perfectly embodies the movie's blend of old and futuristic? How does it get any better than that?
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keferon Ā· 3 months ago
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Guess who spent two days trying to understand how to draw a kiss
Based on amazing incredible gut wrenching Mistakes on Mistakes until..
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aroaceleovaldez Ā· 7 months ago
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arguably this is the funniest part about Jason in The Burning Maze:
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aalghul Ā· 10 months ago
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once again thinking about jason as dukeā€™s robin. heā€™s ~4 years younger than jason, and that puts him at 8-12 during Jasonā€™s time as robin. thatā€™s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.
and if we try to keep dukeā€™s meeting with bruce in zero year + dukeā€™s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. Iā€™ve literally connected the dots
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mfshipbracket Ā· 2 years ago
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lucabyte Ā· 7 months ago
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
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#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 1 year ago
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The musical episode.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā€“->Ā Next
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luanna801 Ā· 28 days ago
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Oh so when Nie Huaisang tricks a guy into stabbing his best friend to death it's ""justified revenge"" and ""very girlboss of him"" but when I, Xue Yang--
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royalarchivist Ā· 1 month ago
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Bad: I donā€™t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of likeā€¦ The real raw mental impact, so Iā€™m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with ā€” like your best friend ā€” BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what thatā€™s like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I donā€™t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: Iā€™m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. Iā€™d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because ā€” even knowing like, all the trauma and sufferingĀ and stuff like that ā€” because it was justā€¦ It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
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Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript ā†“ ]
ā€”ā€”ā€”
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, likeā€“ but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chatā€“ here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I donā€™t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of likeā€¦ The real raw mental impact, so Iā€™m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy Iā€™ve given to every person who Iā€™ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebodyā€“ [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anywayā€“ Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I saidā€“Ā  I was giving them an analogy.Ā 
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you wereā€¦ playing Minecraft, with likeā€“ you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, ā€œHey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies ā€“ theyā€™re currently your best friend, Chip ā€“ but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.ā€ Can you imagine what thatā€™s like, Chip?
I donā€™t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? Iā€™m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but itā€“ Chip ā€“ but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where youā€™re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! Youā€™re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And thatā€™s the problem, Chipā€“ is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you donā€™t understand Chipā€“ I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chipā€“ mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But hereā€™s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. Iā€™m genuinely likeā€“
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one dayā€“ I was like, ā€œIā€™m going to move pastā€“ā€ here, letā€™s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, ā€œIā€™m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like Iā€™ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesnā€™t have to be underground.ā€ But I donā€™t think itā€™s possible now Chip, because I thinkā€¦ I just donā€™t know. I feel like the paranoiaā€“ thereā€™s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But hereā€™s the problem Chip: I donā€™t think I donā€™t thinkā€“ I donā€™t think people understand it. Like, I just really donā€™t. But I also donā€™t blame them Chip, ā€˜cuz I donā€™t think itā€™s possible to fully understand it if you havenā€™t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMPā€¦ Iā€™m talking about the QSMP, I donā€™t- I donā€™t know if that was obviousā€“ if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I donā€™t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I donā€™t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, itā€™s just one of those things thatā€“
[Heā€™s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming outā€¦? But anyway, Chip. Thatā€™s the food for thought.
But thatā€™s the problemā€“ Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But thatā€™s the pointā€“ Iā€™m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. Iā€™d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.Ā 
[He falls down] Dangit, donā€™t come over here Chip, ā€˜cuz Iā€™m coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because ā€” even knowing like, all the trauma and sufferingĀ  and stuff like that ā€” because it was justā€¦ It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wiā€“ I donā€™t think itā€™s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I donā€™t think itā€™s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Becauseā€¦ because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, likeā€“ itā€™s sort of emotionally likeā€¦ Itā€™s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through thatā€“ and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to aā€“ see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, Iā€™ll talk it over with them and be like, ā€œHey, what do you think about this?ā€ Because I genuinely think on one level, likeā€“ itā€™s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, itā€™s- itā€™s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still likeā€“ there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didnā€™t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I donā€™t regret it, and I donā€™t think it was a bad experience. Iā€™mā€“Ā 
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that youā€™re like, ā€œYou know what, maybe this wasnā€™t a good thing that this happened,ā€ but at the same point, you still arenā€™t necessarily upset about it, becauseā€¦ itā€™s like growing as a person, right? Hereā€™s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Likeā€“
Even if youā€™re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesnā€™t mean that only bad things have to come from that. Thatā€™s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be thatā€“ you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think thereā€™s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, youā€™re not the only person whoā€™s experienced it. You know what I mean?
#Badboyhalo#BBH#Bad#QSMP#January 8 2025#Edited#I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks#Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing#This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic#Tumblr exclusive#Anyways business aside ā€“ that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That#Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying#I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got#Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange#I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom#But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole#It's a complicated feeling#I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here#It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating#We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too#I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears#I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently#If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication#I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust#And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community#I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot
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