#do u have games on ur tome?

[aventurineswife]

hi hellooooo ive never sent in a request to anyone before so i hope im doing this right but i rlly love ur writing and ur works so i wanted to approach u with my little idea and see ur take on it :)

how do you think aventurine and ratio would go about celebrating their anniversary with their partner? would it be through nice gifts, something more heartfelt, or maybe spending the day alone with them? rlly interested to see what you think !! again i really love your writing and would love to see your ideas :) might start requesting things regularly if i have any more ideas heheh

Surprise Anniversary! <3

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Anniversary Celebration, Fluff, Romantic Gestures, Personalized Gifts, Sentimental Moments, Playful Love (Aventurine), Intellectual Love (Ratio), Domestic Bliss, Light Angst (Healing Undertones).

Warnings: Mild emotional vulnerability, Implied deep emotional scars (Aventurine), Mention of intellectual themes (Ratio).

A/N: Writing this after a married ratio fic, honestly fits so well 🤭

The moment Aventurine woke up, his eyes glittered with mischief as he smiled at you. "Darling," he purred, brushing a lock of hair from his face, "you didn’t think I’d forget today, did you?"

Aventurine lived for the grandiose, and your anniversary was no exception. The day began with an invitation—a card sealed with golden wax, summoning you to a private casino event he'd arranged. When you arrived, the room was aglow with golden chandeliers, and every surface sparkled with decadent decor that screamed luxury and sophistication. At the center of it all, Aventurine waited, dressed impeccably in his fancy roulette-themed attire, his peacock feather earring catching the light.

The event was filled with games tailored to your shared memories. One table featured trivia about your relationship, where every correct answer granted a custom prize he had designed just for you—tokens of love disguised as chips that he playfully wagered throughout the day.

“You always keep me on my toes, my love.” you teased as he presented you with the final gift: a heart-shaped roulette wheel, spinning with vibrant gemstones. Each gem, he explained, symbolized a significant moment in your relationship.

Finally, the two of you ended the day alone on a balcony overlooking the city. Aventurine, ever the charmer, held your hand and whispered, “Life’s a gamble, my darling, but betting on us has always been my safest wager.” The sincerity in his voice melted through his playful façade, and he kissed you under a canopy of stars.

Ratio wasn’t one for extravagant displays, but his anniversary plans were no less profound. When you woke up, you found a small, handwritten note on your bedside table:

"Meet me in the study at noon. - V."

The study, one of his favorite places, had been transformed. Bookshelves that usually housed tomes of academic knowledge now displayed mementos from your time together—ticket stubs, photographs, and little trinkets he had quietly preserved over the years. A large chalkboard stood at the center, covered in meticulously written equations. As you approached, you realized it wasn’t math—it was a timeline of your relationship, each formula symbolizing a shared moment.

Ratio stood nearby, his hair swept to one side, his alabaster sculpture absent to reveal his face fully. “I thought it was time to teach you something,” he said with a rare softness in his tone. “An equation I can’t solve alone.”

He handed you a piece of chalk and invited you to complete the final step. Together, you wrote an expression symbolizing your future—a life shared, balanced, and ever-growing. Ratio’s eyes glimmered with emotion as he said, “This is the only theorem that matters to me.”

To end the day, Ratio surprised you with a private dinner, the table surrounded by projections of your favorite constellations. As you dined, he spoke of his admiration for your support and how you inspired him to push beyond his self-imposed boundaries. “You’ve always been my muse.” he confessed, his voice steady but filled with unspoken gratitude.

As the evening came to a close, Ratio gifted you a bracelet adorned with tiny owl charms, symbolizing wisdom and protection. “So that no matter where I am,” he explained, “a part of me is always guiding you.”

[thewafflescientist]

Oohhhh my god I'm going insane over the fifth Anniversary and the correlation it has to the Halloween lore (And coincidentally, my favourite idv character)

To simplify the lore involving Embrace, I'll do a rlly shitty summary of his plans and then explain how this correlates to the recent information in the anniversary

Basically the Embrace wrote the Tome in order to control people, in a way? He is plotting to destroy all of civilization as we know it, and he has heavy ties to Nordic mythology. There's the Nordic compass Vegvisir on the Tome with replaced runes, and the way he wrote the Tome actually cuts off people's ability to go to Nilfheim (And properly "die" in order to reborn)

He's already known to be somewhat of a prophet, or someone who can literally control the path of time, as seen in the literal description for Embrace + alongside the most recent Halloween video regarding Demi's "Last Dance" and Mike's "Tea Party", but that's not as important

Basically, Embrace has "destroyed" the pathway to Nilfheim, which is connected to Yggdrasil's roots, aka the Tree of Life/the World Tree, which is mentioned in the recent anniversary

Not to mention, the whole anniversary is very tied to Nordic mythology, hell Andrew literally speaks in a Scandinavian language within the event, so that just further proves my point, ntm most of the species can be derived from the actual worlds connected to Yggdrasil

Anyways, in the event they mention that Yggdrasil's roots were destroyed. Which is very oddly specific, bc that isn't normally part of Nordic mythos, and is entirely specific to Embrace & Halloween lore

And might I add that the game they're playing is based around real events. The author who passed away based her writings off of true experiences, which could also be why instead of "Embrace" and the "Bloodline", it's Baelzorath and wraiths that were created by Bael in order to continue functioning under a certain purpose which is so !!!! cool to me that they're incorporating Halloween lore w Anniversary. I was rambling about how I find it intriguing that they included Yggdrasil with Andrew's costume considering that's mostly specific to Embrace and the Halloween event lores, and began rambling about Embrace's lore when my friend told me that they mentioned Yggdrasil's roots were cut off so my brain has been the living definition of the !!!! ever since bc I love Victor Grantz and I love when he is a little fucked up n evil

Also I looked up Baelzorath to see if there was any ties to the Ars Goetia or other gods/deities possibly but I couldn't find anything so if anyone has found things I wld luv ur input and thoughts on this

I jus rlly rlly adore how the "writing" about Baelzorath and the wraiths perfectly mimic the Bloodline and Embrace but in a more straight forward way, and the fact that it's only rlly obvious to people who have fully dived and wasted literal hours of their life into it is so fun to me bc if by some chance they do end up tying the two together definitively in the future and give content of Embrace I am going to be SO happy

anyways thank u to anyone who read all of this ilysm n am givin u a fat smooch in sporit (if u so desire)

[vhvrs]

Hi! Do you have an au Rick? I’m planning on drawing a bunch of ricksona’s all together and was wondering if you had one :)

hiya! ended up using this as an excuse to sketch up more final designs for them but i do actually got 2!

i got my grumpy old cat lady rickie who just wants peace n quiet n her mortys to play their video games not at 4 am

and ly, normal humanoid and relatively kind rick who does spell tome keeping for his spitfire morty! (tho a bit creepy by rick standards)

sorry to use u as a springboard momentarily, but best of luck w ur ricksona adventure o7!!!

[eggs-mushrooms-moths-and-gay]

yalls have never followed a crack acorn and if shows like they just say ramdon shit and ur like Tahts hilarious because i hate my self hhahahahahah and theyre like hahahahaha me to do u want to see a racoon tatoo on being tated (whats the vebbof that what is a verb verbbbbbbbbbb FERB) on barty while he's crying and eating puckle flavored sour punch starws

ONMG i was on a road trip the other day and we went to this has staion in the middle of nowhere and we saw there pickle flavieres sour punch straws but it was like a rulet thimg ( sound rulet out becuase i cant spell) so there would be other flavors liek watermelon or apple and stuff so we bought it and we alll were like this is crazy and one of my sibs was like im not doing this ok so we r a cuoe rohnds in noone has gotten one yet and my sibling who didnt want to play said fucking give me a straw

so now where there ny brother counts us down and then we all eat the straws but the straws have like a very heavy cotian ( cockinv coting COATKNG ) or suger or sour or what evet and then we all like fuckknv spit it out at the same tome BECUASE ALL OF US GOT PICKLED ( hehehhehehe pickled) and yall dont understand it was like straight up pivkle juice i dont mniw how it happened but it was crazy

then later on that drive we llayed a random game of dnd where i was a nija turltle with a daughter who didnt love me anymore and a weird thing for violence, my brother was a rando with a wife who got turned into a worm ( and then died later)who also had a thing with violence and my sister who was a therapist ( she was goong thro some shit becuase the later it gets the fucking higher j actanf my brother always acts kinda high) we all wnded up running a pizza shop and j got to talk to my faughter agian and j also had the powers to have a random slice of pizza at all times LIKE SUEZU FROM GRAITY FALL s

[bougainvilea]

aya i don’t know HOW it hadn’t fully registered that you are also a person of culture (a person who plays dnd) i HAVE to hear about your characters thank u

LET ME TELL YOU!!!!!

ok my baby my number 1 baby of all time is alaira. she is an arcane trickster rogure who is a water genasi. she went to wizard school and got kicked out and framed for cheating (she didn't fuckn do it) but then went to work as a sex worker and then realised that being a theif was actually super easy and fun so she did that for a bit, but still had these like small ish magic abilities from when she was a wizard. so like, she's a charisma rogue, but with intelligence skills, which is a bit rough for her bc her spells r quite weak HAHA. but then we went back to her hometown and the wizard principal basically acknowledged that he knew she didn't cheat the whole time. so she was really mad but as an apology he gave her one of those big tomes that PERMANENTLY INCREASES UR INT BY 2...... and then we levelled up so i took a level in wizard (and changed the fighter level i had at that point to wizard) so now i'm an arcane trickster rogue x bladesinger wizard (level 11) and it's pretty slay!! she loves her daggers n stuff, and loves flirting, but her party is suuuuper trusting of literally everyone so she ends up being the angery Leader (actually now that i think about it i think kaz of six of crows is the right vibe.... but i was actually enormously inspired by celaena sardothien from throne of glass first two books vibe.) anyway we're about to fight an ancient white dragon as a party so lets see how that goes.... tho we did just beat its death tyrant lair guardian!!!!

my other characters are less active atm, but include a brainwashed protection/order cleric (we homebrewed her subclass), a circle of stars druid, and a tiefling bard. i don't think any of those r on their way back into rotation tho.... due to Social Circumstances.

However i also dm a game for my friends!!! i hope that continues soon... my most Beloved NPCs are a halfling monk and a human Almost Princess who are in love.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURS PLS!!!

EDIT: OH BTW HERE'S MY COMMISSION OF ALAIRA DONE BY THE ILLUSTRIOUS @may12324

[celibateweedeater]

expanding on those tags, i wonder if there's a good mage/brawler type class as a mod for ToME. Because I now really really wanna as a jacked spellcaster. Unfortunately, ToME antimagic abilities totally lock you out of anything magic, so none of that.

That specific idea, of a hybrid brawler/spellcaster casting antimagic zone against other mages and beating the shit out of them, is so so good and really activates me. Its so cool when you have a global effect that substantially hurts you, but you use it anyway because it hurts the opponent more. itd be like a hogaak deck running rest in peace against another, more degenerate graveyard deck*, and just opting for straight beatdown strats. its so cool.

and just generally i love any deck/build/class/whatever that's flexible enough to completely shift playstyle depending on your opponent. its why Sun Paladin appeals to me so much where Arcane Blade doesnt in ToME, even though they're both ostensibly melee/magic hybrids. Arcane Blade just uses flurry and blows up whoever they're looking at, all the time. Sunpal is a lot more dynamic, particularly because of Path of Light, my favorite talent in the whole game. It does so much, but most of all, when used well, it enables Sunpal to be at whatever range it wants to be, all the time. And in a game where positioning is this important, that's a very good ability to have.

Anyway, the point is, i love being able to adapt my playstyle based on the opponent's weaknesses, and i really love hurting myself in order to hurt the opponent more - see also, Lilliana of the Veil in classical Modern Jund, where you get it so ur both topdecking, but your cards are individually stronger than theirs so you have the advantage.

*i have a vague memory of something like this actually happening. but leyine of the void exists so idk why hogaak would do that, also i think hogaak's not usually white. idk you get the idea. leyline of the void is stupid, total shutdown hate cards like that should be symmetric, make things interesting. Luv u Thalia Guardian of Thraben

[rejectspath-moved]

“ what are you doing ? ” a tilt of the head, as corrin stands on their tiptoes to peer over robin’s shoulder. “ are you winning ? ”

@fellcarnate​

[03713]

ive met THE nicest cloud player ever!!!!! im crying

[cryptidofthekeys]

The next dragon age game should be out in the next few years and netflix has a dragon age show coming out (I'm nervous about that tho,knowing Netflix and their habits)

Also: ELDERSCROLLS ONLINE while they dont have as many lgbtq+ elements as the Dragon age series,they are trying. Its been a few years since I did a through play through, but there are many gay men and women in the game,the daedra are sexless entities who chose their own pronouns ( he/him,She/her) and there is an intersex god,though he goes by He/him pronouns, and there's a MtF trans woman in the Summerset Expansion who you go to find for her sister,but her sister didn't know that 1.she was trans and 2.She had used magic to fully transition. And while at first her sister Deadnames her out of shock,once she realizes that she has A Sister and not a brother,they embrace and they sit at the beach to talk to one another because the Cis sister genuinely loves her Trasgender Sister and feels that its time she truly gets to know her.

Honestly I'm so happy that as tome progresses,fantasy games get more and more inclusive and openly so.

Also in dragon age inquisition there are 4 main possible lgbtq romances I'm aware of

Dorian-Gay wizard,his dad tried to use forbidden magic to force him to be strait,when he caught wind of what his dad planned,he left. You can help reconcile the two,and if you're character is male, you can romance him(ive romanced him as a male character cause one of my closeted friends wanted to do so but couldn't risk getting caught,so I romamced him and recorded it for him on my phone at the time,and let him use my phone whenever he wanted,things are much better for him now btw) if you dont romance him,he dates The Iron Bull.

-The Iron Bull: Man or woman he don't care,if your a consenting adult,he will fuck you. I love his pick up line. "Ive picked up on your hints and its obvious you want to...Ride the Bull"(Like YES! YES I DO!)

-Sera: Lesbian mischevious Elf. She has alot of internalized racism to her own people due to childhood trauma but I have a soft spot for her. Shes passionate and while she may see things in Black or White,when she loves someone,she loves deep. Also I love her Tit jokes.

Josephine:Lady Josephine is the eldest child and has many resposabilities. She has great diplomatic skill and empathy. She's a little dense and it takes Liliana (lovingly) threatening you with harm if you harm her for her to realize you like her romantically (you also just gotta plane tell her) you can be either gender. Also you get to duel for her hand in marriage.

Anyway imma try and sleep,gotta doc apt. In the morn but thank u for letting ne ramble!

oof i dont trust netflix in the slightest and imma be he s i t a n t on that part

and honestly so far that sounds incredible!! gjkfdldkjfsd god d a m n so much rep right there, its makin me smile from ear to ear like a doofus <3 and im glad things are better for your friend, it sucks that ur friend couldnt get ‘caught’ like smh get caught what? Get caught loving another human being even IF that being is fictional? but at least things are better for your friend now and it was a v kind thing for you to do to record it for him!!

and HGJFKLDJFGDSL The Iron Bull sounds amazing too and im loving him immensely so just from desc alone rn Sera sounds lovely in her own right tbh- poor girl tho, childhood trauma- not,, not fun- can fuck up a l otta shit- and FUCK YES!!!! DUELING FOR HAND IN MARRIAGE- THATS THE GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE!!! jfgkldfgnjds can you tell i love shit like that??

and got’cha, hope the doc apt goes well!! and no problem!! anytime ya feel like ramblin my inbox is always open!

[kpopfanfictrash]

You're a hosting sleepover in ur place, if could invite ur characters who would it be? It'll be more fun if u could add gifs of the members to see what style of members you'd choose. Also what activities/ games would u play!?

OOOO LOL honestly, this is very hard lmao. I have like, over 90 published stories on this blog for BTS alone haha ummmm I’m going to choose one version of each BTS member that I’ve written

Namjoon: Kakistocracy!Namjoon

Seokjin: Heathens!Seokjin

Yoongi: Romancing the Tome!Yoongi

Hoseok: The Rich Man’s Crochet Club!Hoseok

Jimin: Atalanta!Jimin

Taehyung: Chism!Taehyung

Jungkook: Paralian!Jungkook

I just think.... this would be an interesting mix of characters. LOL proposed games for the party: Never Have I Ever, Truth or Dare, Pictionary, Charades and Cards Against Humanity.

Here is............. a small drabble of said group playing pictionary.

“Look at it!” cries Taehyung, jabbing his pen on the page. “Isn’t it obvious what this is?”

Jungkook squints at the paper. “All I see is seaweed. I... don’t understand. Draw something else.”

Brow furrowed, Taehyung adds another squiggly line. All of them seem to extend from a strange triangle in the corner. “Here! Here!” he insists, jabbing at the page.

“You saying here doesn’t help,” groans Namjoon, rubbing at his temples. “Maybe if you added something new to the drawing.”

“Five seconds!” Yoongi calls, gleeful while holding the stopwatch before him.

“They’ll never get it,” says Seokjin smugly, leaning back on the sofa.

“Never,” says Hoseok, toasting him with his glass. 

Although the two of them come from wildly different worlds, they seem to be getting along oddly well. Just the toughest cleaner in the mafia business and a former college frat boy now working in sports.

Jimin fails to respond, seated on the edge of the sofa to stare intently at the board. He seems to want to speak, but has been assigned a different team from Taehyung and cannot help them win.

“Time!” crows Yoongi, pressing end on his watch. “Unfortunately, team - wait. What’s your team name again?”

“Team Braintrust.” Slowly, Namjoon sighs. “We thought it seemed appropriate, given our team is comprised of a God, a King and the single person holding the free world together. AKA, me.”

“Ah, but you’re no Team Kim Seokjin.” Seokjin raises his glass.

“Team Seokjin.” Yoongi swivels in his seat to face them. “Would you like to steal the guess?”

“It’s Wind,” blurts Jimin, the words bursting free. He grins and glances at Taehyung. “Right? Those squiggly lines are the wind being blown by some God. It’s obvious, given the heavenly light in the corner.”

“Correct!” Yoongi announces, to loud protests from the rest of Team Braintrust.

“How was I supposed to get that?” Jungkook cries out. “My world doesn’t even have Gods!”

“More’s the pity,” Taehyung notes, arching a brow. When he sighs, a chill seems to settle over the room.

“You’re doing it again,” notes Jimin calmly. He has the most experience with errant Gods.

“Whoops. Sorry.” With a flick of his hand, Taehyung resets the temperature.

“And my world has many gods,” grumbles Namjoon, ignoring the interaction. “All of which seem to have left the building lately, though.”

Yoongi largely ignores this, tallying up the scores. “Team Seokjin is the winner!” he declares, holding up the board.

“Sails,” Jungkook sighs, slumped low in the seat. “Even in this alternate universe.”

[notaverygoodlistener]

Hello, sorry to butt into ur conversation with other anon but I was wondering if u could maybe give an example of what to say in character intro. U don't have to but Im very nervous about wording so. Thanks either way :D

no no i love it i will do my best for an example

i made a new character in x game and they’re great they’re a race class and they like to eat bugs and skip rocks on water (i think i’m talking abt a frog now) originally they were from here but now they live here, they prefer to wear this kind of stuff and here’s a description of some item they carry (i.e. an important tome, a stolen locket, a lovingly made sword, etc) they’re friends with blah and dislike djsjsk. they’re gay. if u wanna know anything specific abt them please ask i love character building, thank ye and goodnight

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p. 1)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

More Jolex on your timeline because y’all seemed to love what I posted before! Also I’ve posted this whole piece on AO3 as well so it might look familiar.  

this idea came to me in a fever dream and i am not sorry that y'all have to deal with it. 99% of this fic will be in "texting" format, so be prepared for that. 

Jo is regular Alex is italics

Saturday 11:04 PM

heeeeey is thiss doctor evil?

I gotta say ur phone sex namee needs sum weerk

u soud like a comic book village 

fuck

village

VILLAIN

Who the hell is this? And how did you get my number? 

i’m just a girl at thee bar!!!! 

Joe’s Bar?

noooooo

i’m at enerlad city bar

You didn’t answer my question. 

u asked a quesitoon?

whata was it?

i’m goos at takifjg tests 

How’d you get my number?

it qas in the bathrooom!!!

it said “for a good tiem txt dr evil spawne” 

so I did

I am ready to havee fun

You’re drunk, obviously, and I’m going to have to kill Cristina for putting my number up. 

ooooooh is thatt ur girleifnd?

hirlefiend 

girlfriend**

Wow you’re really gone. And hell no, she’s my roommate. One of them. 

ooooh how many do u hav

roomees not girlfriends 

Three. Two girls and a dude. 

intereeesting...

well it’s tome for fireball shoots

steph is yeeling at me 4 txting too much

goodbey doctor eviel apawn!!

Oh lord. Tell Steph you need water. Or an IV. 

I’ve got her. she’s throwing up on her shoes. thanks doctor. - steph

  Sunday 10:11 AM

You know you’re pretty funny, Bar Girl. 

jesus christ what fucking time is it?! 

10 AM

I’m assuming you have a massive hangover. 

hold on I can’t hear you over the sound of me vomiting

TMI as the kids say these days. 

what’re you a grandpa or something?? 

No I just don’t know how to use text lingo. Except WTF. I know that one very well. 

quick question

who the fuck are you?

Dr. Evil Spawn. You found my name graffitied in the bathroom of Emerald City Bar. 

holy shit

I thought I dreamed that... WHAT THE FUCK

Nope. I’m real. 

holy shit i’m so sorry

my texts were so annoying

Who hurt you? I mean you were shitfaced, I’m assuming someone broke your heart into tiny pieces. 

the opposite actually, I was at a bachelorette party

not mine, i’m so single it hurts

Ahhh that makes sense. So you got shitfaced in solidarity? 

exactly you get it

you seem like you’d be the DD at a bachelorette party

Well seeing as I’m a dude I don’t do Bachelorette parties. 

Well I did go to one, but that’s a different story.  

hmmm you seem like a very interesting man doctor evil spawn 

going to bachelorette parties, living with women who aren’t your girlfriend 

OMG ARE YOU DATING THE GUY YOU LIVE WITH?!

George? No absolutely not. And before you ask, my other girl roommate is gay. 

so you’re single?

i’m only asking so when you murder me the police have as much information as possible

Haha very funny. I would be a terrible murderer. 

you didn’t answer my question

Fine. Yes I’m single. 

i’ll note that in the “serial killer file” i’m building 

gotta go, I have to do work :/

Have fun, don’t die. 

  Sunday 8:38 PM

Arizona is trying to set me up on a blind date. 

who’s arizona?

My gay roommate. She wants me to meet this “bubbly blonde” she knows from her pilates class. 

ahhhh. why don’t you go?

Bubbly blonde is not my type. Sounds like she’ll spend the whole date talking about how much she loves dogs or her knitting hobby. 

Plus she does pilates, that tells me more than enough. 

you’re making some good points. I don’t pity you. 

You better not. How was work?

the longest day of my life

it was just paperwork, I don’t actually work on the weekends

What do you do?

hmmmm that’s exactly what a serial killer would say

i’m an elementary school teacher

Oh so you sing and dance and paint pictures all day?

what school did you go to?

were working on multiplication tables and basic photosynthesis tomorrow

Wow that sounds like a lot.

it’s may, ive got three weeks of school left so I have to cram all the crap we didn’t cover into these last few weeks 

Ahhh that sounds more accurate.

and what do you do? 

besides text strangers that you don’t know

I’m a pediatrician. 

oh so you make kids cry and wipe snotty noses all day? two can play at that game

Well we both have to deal with snotty noses sooo...

I GET IT!! Doctor Evil Spawn!! 

why evil spawn though? 

I wasn’t this nice when I started med school. My personality is an acquired taste. 

ha! that’s a funny joke. 

so if you’re a fancy schmancy doctor why do you live with three other people?

I’m only a resident, not making the big bucks yet. Everyone else is a doctor too. 

are they all pediatricians?

No. Arizona is too but Cristina is a cardiologist and George is a trauma specialist. 

interesting!! I too live with my coworkers. it’s not fun. 

the table is always covered in craft supplies. 

Well I can never read the grocery list on the fridge. Stupid doctors script...

oh that’s a classic. you’re pretty funny Dr. Evil Spawn

Thanks Bar Girl. 

I gotta go. monday tomorrow and you know how fourth graders can be. night!! 

Night . 

  Monday 9:47 AM

there’s not enough coffee in the world for monday mornings. 

  Monday 10:52 AM 

Sorry I was yelling at the interns. We have a decent coffee cart here. Keeps me alive. Are you texting in class?

no it was recess

now they’re at spanish class

i’m not totally irresponsible 

Oh good to know the future of America is in good hands. Teacher Princess is “not totally irresponsible”

teacher princess?

Well, Cinderella lost her shoe, you puked on yours. Same thing. 

wooooooooow

that was so uncalled for...

I thought it was funny. Gotta go set a broken arm. 

broken arm vs. adverbs... can we switch? have fun lol

  Monday 3:26 PM

I don’t even think I know what an adverb is. 

how did you become a doctor??

Don’t need to know adverbs to fix a couple broken bones and snuffy noses. 

oh darn I should’ve gone to school for seven more years then

Haha. How were the adverbs?

better than expected, grading papers while I wait for my roomies to be done

we carpool, saving the environment and shit

Okay Eco Warrior.

you text like a 60 year old man

you’re not a 60 year old man are you?

No I’m a 28 year old man though

28 a doctor and you’re single? your personality must be worse than you described 

I’m a busy man, I don’t have time to settle down. And I have no desire to. 

yet you have time to text a complete stranger? 

hmmmm interesting...

Ouch, that one hurt Princess. 

steph is making me socialize with the other teachers

if I don’t respond, they killed me or dragged me to an essential oil party

Hahahaha

  Monday 5:18 PM

Did you get roped into a pyramid scheme?

nooo but therew as wine

I should sotp drunk texting you so often 

It makes your presence that much more entertaining. And bearable. 

woah woah dude

i’m a gem 

I can tell. Elementary school teacher with a heart of gold. 

awwww your too sweet tome

It’s a Monday. Who the hell gets drunk on a Monday?

teachers

we deserve it

You’re a teacher and you’re single and still going to Bachelorette parties. You’re what, 23? 

i’m 25 and i’m doing greta thanks you very nuch 

cnat believe that i’m supplying my perosnal info to a serial killer

What makes you so sure that I’m a mass murderer? 

ur weird nickname and ur intimate knowledge of the himan body

Mmm yes well a good amount of women do find themselves screaming around me often. Or under me. On top of me...

omg are you sending me dirty jokes

you’re crazy 

What can I say. 

Gotta go, I’m on call tonight. Get to bed safe, Bar Princess. 

mmmkay thanks Doc

  Wednesday 11:29 AM

What do you think is worse: School lunch or hospital food?

hospital food, no doubt

thursday is mac and cheese day here... I could bathe in that stuff

We have Spaghetti Wednesday but that’s the only good thing here. 

mmm how depressing

the teachers do a pot luck once a month and that’s always good

the art teacher next door to me makes the BEST blueberry muffins. 

Lucky. All I get here is vending machine cookies. Anything interesting happening in the elementary world? 

a first grader got lice last week so naturally we all have it now

I had to chop off six inches of my hair

Holy crap. Lice can be vicious, be thankful you didn’t have to shave your head. 

it feels like I did, my hair hasn’t been above my shoulders since the backstreet boys were still touring

Wow. I’m glad to know you’re well cultured. 

of course I am

gotta go, kids are back from music class

Don’t be too hard on them, they deserve a break every once in awhile. 

  Thursday 3:06 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jenna you forgot your lunch pail. Have a good day!”

“Hello?”

“Hi Mrs. Peters. I didn’t grade Henry’s test yet, I’ll have it tomorrow. Thanks bye!”

“Helloooo?”

“Steph I gotta grab my things, I’ll be there in a seco- oh shit. Hello?”

“Bar Princess?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn? I must’ve butt dialed you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay I... I don’t mind the interruption. Are you leaving work?”

“Just about, we’re wrapping up the solar system and I have to bring home the diorama.”

“I was never good at the models, I prefer working with the real thing.”

“Oh ho, a man that works with his hands. I can appreciate that.”

“You know now we’re officially talking and we still don’t know each other’s names.”

“Well around here I’m Miss Wilson, but you can call me Jo.”

“Jo. Hmm I like chicks with dudes names. I’m Dr. Karev but you can call me Alex.”

“Well nice to kinda meet you Alex. I’ll talk to you soon, I gotta get out of here.”

“Talk to you later.”  

  Thursday 4:34 PM

I wouldn’t mind if you were my teacher.

how did I know you’d send me something along those lines

I’m predictable. I’m still calling you Bar Princess. 

as you wish doctor evil spawn

I get to assist on a surgery today. Tonsillectomy. 

like removing tonsils? that’s awesome

for you, not for the kid

Oh she’ll be fine, she gets ice cream and jello for a week.  

okay yeah I might be jealous of her now

id love to be off work for a week and have you waiting on me hand and foot

the ice cream is a nice bonus

You think that’s my job?

well you said you aren’t making the big bucks yet so.... yeah 

Keep dreaming. I’ll talk to you later, gotta scrub in. 

have fun!!!!

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[horizonwalkers]

11 :3c

if you got the chance to play at a “celebrity” DM’s table (e.g. matt mercer, griffin mcelroy), what kind of character would you design and why?

oh boy uh, i’d probably try to make a new character for their setting and the niche they needed filled with a guest npc? I’ve done a lot of ‘guest’ npcing in campaigns where i’ve come i worked with the dm to do something, or played an important character for a few sessions before dipping with that character and coming back in with anoher/ most memorably is i am actually playing on and off as a villain who will betray the party in one of my friend’s games. (i feel bad. the players haven’t figured out im evil and i haven’t betrayed them yet so rip...)

but yeah, i have a very set philsophy for making characters in general. i always want to work with the dm and come up with a concept hat we can build together in their world! like we did it with rowan! i came up with ‘ranger wizard who learned magic by stealing an ancient arcane tome in the feywild’ and well, you came back to me 4 hours later and said ‘hello you’re 30k years old’ and then i was like ‘sweet lemme get a wife’ and that sort of back and forth bouncing ideas off each other has created like, a super interesting fun pc to play and i think she fits the integration of ur world super well! 

HOWEVER, i am still chomping at the bit to find hidden rowan lore u monster, release my backSTORY

[literature-islit]

David Foster Wallace - Mr Squishy (2000)

Yes, this is a post about another short story. Sorry, I guess I just read a lot of them or something. I guess I retract what I said in a previous post, that they are unsexy and unappealing to read. They’re totally okay. You should read more. And, as usual, there’s a bit of a back story as to how I got to this one... 

So, I’ve considered Dave Eggers to be a great writer ever since I read his 2013 novel The Circle (now a major motion picture starring Emma Watson) which portrays the dystopian perils of a Facebook-like company urging everyone towards maximum disclosure. 

what’s on ur mind? Everyone would love to know haha. Keep refreshing the page for more likes and shares and dopamine hits! Don't be left out! Tell everyone what you are thinking - all the time! Help us help you! We just want you to connect....

The Circle is a great book. I was like - man, I’ve got to read more writing by this man. But, the rest of his writing? 

I’ll let everyone battle it out on GoodReads. Some quotes:

it's *so cool* to be post-dave-eggers, and talk about how you didn't really like this book all that much, and it's even cooler to totally hate this book.

I was reading this book and around page 237 (or was it 327?), I figured it out- he's talking to ME. He wrote this book for me. Dave Eggers looked into the future and saw that I would want to read a self-referential, self-satisfying memoir.

I disliked so very much about this book. 

The reviews above are talking about his debut novel, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which I... don’t have much to say about. There were good bits. There were incredibly tedious bits. 

I would rate it a solid 3/5

It being pitched as a non-fiction memoir, then using lots of narrative elements that are mostly associated with fiction kind of confused me. I was like - ok, there’s no way this guy actually used his inheritance money to launch a real life street press magazine, and then convinced an actor to fake his own death just for the publicity. 

But he did. 

things u cannot do with social media

And anyway, long story short, kind of fascinated by the idea that in the 90s, at a time before media conglomerates had acquired almost all small press and advertising revenue was at all time lows, and even getting people interested in actually paying money to hold a magazine in their hands and read it was probably the most major barrier to entry to the market; the idea that in the 90s it was fair game and a bunch of college kids could just make a magazine and print it and kind of guerrilla their way into that market, as some kind of genuinely authentic counterculture... wow. I knew I had to try to find out a little more about these types of magazines that Dave Eggers curated and published. 

The 90s

Which brings me to The Best of McSweeney’s, a compilation of some of the best content to be published during the run of McSweeney’s which was yet another magazine thing published and curated and etc by Dave Eggers. 

The whole book is worth a read.

And the stand-out story, Mr Squishy by David Foster Wallace. 

I’m conflicted on how I approach David Foster Wallace’s legacy because he does have  a history of abusive treatment towards women, yet on the whole I feel like his writing is revolutionary and unique, and acts to undermine the dominant paradigm instead of reinforce its ideology. My ambivalence is shared by Electric Lit’s 20 Authors I Don’t Have to Read Because I’ve Dated Men for 16 Years: (”A list like this wouldn’t be complete without DFW, but at the same time his inclusion feels disingenuous, because when it comes to Wallace, I am the literary bro cornering you at a party to ask if you’ve read him and why not. I love DFW’s work in the same over-personal obsessive way this list is meant to mock. Wallace is also an author whose body of work defies the kind of easy summary that can be gleaned from listening to a dude talk at a party about his favorite writer, or applied independent of actual engagement with the writing...”)

BBC Culture considers his magnum opus Infinite Jest to be a cult book that has lost its cool. 

But, if that’s the case, how do you explain Mira Gonzales (in a defiant act of anarchy that would appall even the least-conservative librarian) constructing a pipe out of the book to smoke weed from, BBC? How do you explain that?

Removed from the context of this preceding discussion, however, I regard Mr Squishy as a work of art. 63 pages of DFW’s signature dense prose (the kind of prose that catches you slipping; this is a story to read with your morning coffee, not just before you hit the hay at night) about a marketing focus group for a new Mr Squishy snack, a story that highlights the manipulations of advertising, marketing groups’ ultimate impotence in the face of a brand that knows the kinds of conclusions it wants to have proved, and the way world wide web technology loomed, casting its great shadow over the particular slice of history Wallace is writing in, threatening to rupture the security of the jobs around which people like marketing facilitator Schmidt have based their entire lives. 

This is a story of many layers. 

Many people have already written much better on this story than I could ever dream of. 

Amazing blog interpretation highlighting the multi-layered nature of the narrative (did I mention the narrative has layers?)

570 word sentence highlighted and dissected for its brilliance (don’t let something so ominous as a 570 word sentence deter you, pls)

How are you gonna get yourself a copy of this story to absorb its brilliance, to appreciate the way it delves deeper inside a fake character’s head than other writers make it seem possible to go? I don’t know. I’m sure there’s a PDF flying about on the internet somewhere. You can borrow The Best of McSweeney’s from any library in South Australia. The story also, I believe, can be read in DFW’s short story collection Oblivion. However you find it is not important. What’s important is that you read it. This man does things with words you never knew were possible!

And, yes, I bragged on Instagram about having started to read DFW’s epic Infinite Jest. (Having re-read this blog post I feel the need to clarify that the picture above is not me, nor my hand; I found it on the internet). That was two years ago, and I am still about halfway through the 1079 page tome. It takes time, okay. Time and patience. I am in the (elongated) process of reading it, and anticipate I will finish it soon... 

[simonarmstrcng]

for leo: ⁇, ツ, # // for mateo: %, ✆, ツ

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

FOR LEO

[ 1:46 AM ] : leooooo oooo ooooo ooooooooooo oo ooo  ooo[ 1:49 AM ] : id k whre i m i lsto u[ 1:53 AM ] : i mss u loeooooooooooooo[ 1:56 AM ] : ur my fvorite,. my FAVORTE [ 2:03 AM ] : ur always s nice tome. yor symtrcical fce mkes yo sem meAn bt??? yur so NCIE[ 2:09 AM ] : also i thnk i drankk 2 mch??? dnt fel gr8[ 2:23 AM ] : omg nvermnd ts oK i mde sme new frinds !1!![ 2:36 AM ] : were levin now oleoee!![ 2:39 AM ] : were gong to the clb111![ 2:47 AM ] : bbeyeeeee leoooooooooooooooooooooo oo ooo oooo oooo  oooo

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ 10:23 PM ] : LEO[ 10:25 PM ] : i found a drinking game for pokemon [ 10:27 PM ] : for POKEMON [ 10:33 PM ] : this is amazing i didn’t know this was a thing!![ 10:43 PM ] : oh my god wait you take a shot every time pikachu says pika[ 10:47 PM ] : oh my god is this designed for the players to die???

Send “#” for a RANDOM text. 

[ 1:23 PM ] : i think i took home your headphones from the party last night[ 1:24 PM ] : or it could be one of your friends?[ 1:33 PM ] : i’m not sure but i mean i can give them to you after school on monday maybe?

FOR MATEO

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ 2:23 PM ] : are you a dog or cat person[ 2:44 PM ] : do you believe in aliens? would you want to meet them?[ 2:53 PM ] : do you have a favourite avenger [ 2:57 PM ] : am i asking you too many questions[ 3:03 PM ] : cause i can stop  

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

[ 8:23 AM ] : you left your lunch at home! i have it [ 8:25 PM ] : maybe we can meet up before lunch and i can give it to you then?[ 8:26 PM ] : or if you want we can eat lunch together![ 8:27 PM ] : but if you don’t want to that’s okay too! 

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. 

[ 5:05 PM ] :  mateo i have set up all my favourite arthur faulkner movies on queue on the living room tv!!! we’re all set for our marathon!![ 5:13 PM ] : there’s one that i think you’re really going to like so we’ll start with that i think, but you can also look through all the summaries of the movies if you want and pick out which one you wanna see first yourself!  [ 5:18 PM ] : honestly they’re all great though!![ 5:24 PM ] : do you want salted or sweet popcorn??[ 5:28 PM ] : or i can put m&ms in, have you tried that?? it’s amazing