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have some post book six finn angst? i guess? that’s been in my drafts unfinished for months. mainly inspired by the fact that finn literally stabbed one of his best friends from childhood and it got kinda waved away??? therapy and meds are good but not that good. this is very rough very unedited but it’s 2 am so ya know.
His skin is red from the heat of the shower; scrubbed raw until tender. The water long stopped running pink but it doesn’t matter. He can still feel the blood on his hands, under his nails.
He should get out. Go to the infirmary, Philby and Maybeck were still out of it, after all, talk to the girls. Talk to security.
Are they going to send security after him? They probably should. He did kill someone, after all.
His knees give out at the thought. God, he killed Dillard. He’s sitting on the floor of his stateroom shower because he needed to wash off his best friend's blood before he could do anything else.
What is he supposed to tell his parents?
What is he supposed to tell Dillard’s?
His stomach rolls dangerously. Do they even know where their son is? He wasn’t supposed to be on the boat. He wasn’t supposed to be involved.
He isn’t supposed to be dead, either, though.
He buries his head in his knees, hands fisting his damp hair. Jesus Christ. He never should’ve come on this cruise. He never should’ve become a DHI. Screw his friends, how on earth could they be worth this? He never should’ve met Wayne.
Wayne. Anger flares inside him, but it’s muted. Wayne got them all involved in this. He’s the one that decided children could end a war that adults had been fighting for years. He’s the one that made Finn a Keeper. He’s the one that made Dillard a martyr.
Someone’s knocking on something far away. Everything sounds like he’s submerged in a swimming pool; white noise echoing in his ears. Someone is breathing loudly in the next room.
The door opens, light pooling in from the bedroom, casting shadows onto his mother. She looks worried, panic pinching her face. He can’t bring it in him to be embarrassed that she’s just walked in on him. He wonders why.
“Finn!” She rushes to him, pulling his face up in her hands. “God, you’re freezing, hold on.” Oh. He is freezing, now that she mentions it. The water’s turned ice cold; his skin is numb. How long has he been sitting here?
She leaves, just for a moment. The water abruptly shuts off and she comes back, towel in hand and clothes damp. She wraps it around him before smoothing his hair off his face.
“It’s okay, Finn, but please, breathe. You’ve gotta calm down” Breathe? He is, isn’t he? But no, the heavy breathing from before is him, not someone else. He’s hyperventilating, he thinks distantly. You’re having a panic attack, Larry.
God, how many times has he heard Charlene talk about panic attacks after tests? How many times has Willa called him at 2 am, crying from old nightmares? Why did he think he was so invincible, so well grounded that this wouldn’t ever happen to him?
Well, he supposed anyone would be crying in the shower if they‘d just stabbed someone.
He barks out a laugh at the thought, startling his mother. God, what is wrong with him?
He doesn’t know how long they sit there, on the floor of the shower. She breathes slow and even, willing him to do the same as she rubs his back. It feels like forever until he can take an easy breath of air.
Vaguely he wonders how his mom knows how to do this; whether it’s just some inherent knowledge that comes with age and children.
It takes longer still until he stands on shaky legs to grab a change of clothes, towel pulled tight around him. He’s not shaking, anymore, but he’s still cold. Still a little numb. His lips are chapped.
She leaves to let him change, looking weary at the thought of leaving him alone. He doesn’t blame her. He feels like he’s still teetering on the edge of another breakdown; one good push and he’ll be sent sprawling. She had grabbed his pajamas, he thinks idly. An old t-shirt his aunt sent him years ago that he’s yet to grow into and a pair of plaid sleep pants. They both smell like the lavender laundry detergent she uses back home.
Shit, he wants to go home.
“It’s a little late,” she says once he comes out of that bathroom, moving to put her hands on his shoulders. He doesn’t want her to move away. “Do you want to order room service for dinner? Or I could go pick something up?” She offers, but he’s already shaking his head.
“Can we order? Please? I just…” he trails off, not knowing what to say, but she’s already nodding, moving away to find the menu and call in dinner.
He stands in the middle of the room and tries to think. He needs to go down to medbay and talk to his friends. Philby and Maybeck are awake, no doubt, and they’re going to want to know what happened. It’s what a good friend would do. What a good leader would do. Hasn’t he fought tooth and nail to hold on to his precious leader title? He should be explaining; strategizing (apologizing). Instead, he’s leaving Willa and Charlene to explain everything, half of which they don’t even know because they didn’t follow him into that cave.
(They’re going to have to tell them how they woke them up, he thinks wryly. He’s almost upset that he’s almost certainly already missed out on Philby blushing as red as his hair; Maybeck’s cool persona cracking at the thought that he and Charlene kissed and he wasn’t even aware).
Would the girls wait for him to tell them what he’s done? Or do they already know that their leader's a murderer?
Maybe Philby should be the leader. No one’s died on his watch. What does Wayne’s opinion matter now, anyway?
He should go to them, even just to sit in silence with his friends. But the mere thought sends anxiety clawing up his throat. He’s terrified of what he might see when he looks into their eyes (disgust, horror, fear, anger, even sympathy).
He’ll be alone for tonight, he decides. Plead exhaustion if anyone asks in the morning. It isn’t a lie in the slightest. He feels drained, down to the very marrow, and just wants to sleep.
(He won’t be able to. He’ll toss and turn all night when he does finally drift off around four in the morning he’ll wake up from a nightmare with bile in his throat and phantom blood on his hands.)
-
His hands itch. They’re clean. He washes them anyway.
-
His hands start to crack. They’re dry, constantly, from the repeated washing and relentless hand sanitizer.
Their water bill is going to be astronomical, he thinks belatedly.
It’s been a little over two months since…since.
They haven’t crossed over once, Philby putting a stop to it as soon as he was back at his computer, not needing to ask the others if it was okay. There wasn’t much of a need for them, anyway. The OTs were surely scrambling to figure out what to do without Maleficent.
None of them end up caring too much.
They haven’t gotten together much since they arrived back in Florida. They had individual meetings with some high-up Disney execs and then were told to please forget this unpleasantness had happened and sign the new NDAs and oh, don’t forget they needed to post on the official Disney Host Interactive social media at least twice a month.
(His contract is extended for two more years. He doesn’t read the fine print as he signs away his life again. Not that it matters. They’ve already made a killer out of him.)
They’ve slowly been talking in the group chat again, small comments about class and families that carefully skirt around anything too heavy. Charlene sends a picture of her cat in a sink and Maybeck sends back his latest attempt at a donut vase and slowly, slowly, they start to feel like friends again.
Amanda keeps coming over, stretching out the last few days of summer with him whenever she can. He’s rotten company; doesn’t talk much but she doesn’t mind. She talks endlessly about her days, long and boring though they may be, until her voice goes hoarse and he can’t help but get up and grab her a glass of water.
He’s trying, slowly, to explain what happened to her. It had been surprisingly easy to hear Willa and Charlene fill Philby and Maybeck in on the story, he himself stepping in to fill their gaps. It’d been mindless, almost; he’d been too focused on how necessary it was that the panic and fear hadn’t hit him until hours later, hands itching until he’d scrubbed them raw.
(“PSTD,” his therapist says when he finally works up the courage to see one. “Trauma responses and rituals to help self soothe.”)
It’s amazing, really, dealing with grief. How often had he really thought of Dillard before the cruise? They’d certainly been growing apart in recent years, Finn spending more time with the Keepers and working and far less with his childhood best friend. It’d been easy to justify, at the time. Dillard wasn’t a Keeper, wasn’t a DHI; couldn’t understand what he and his friends were going through no matter how hard he tried; not like Jess and Amanda could.
Well, not until Wayne dragged him in.
He misses Dillard at the most random times, sharp aches deep in his chest at the mention of his favorite foods, the theme to his favorite video games; snatches of conversation from other neighborhood boys about girls and school and games. A sudden wave of grief and guilt a misery so strong that he’ll climb into bed and not be able to leave for days.
And then other times he won't think of Dillard at all for days at a time; feel content, almost, until he remembers and then the guilt of forgetting, of neglecting his best friend’s memory is almost the worst part.
He’s fifteen. He’s famous. He’s killed his best friend. He’s a soldier in a war he never should’ve known about. He’s a leader, or at least he’s supposed to be.
His hands itch.
#look if ridley’s gonna wave away trauma and mental health SOMEONE’S gotta point out that these kids aren’t alright#finn is sad willa is sad jess is sad THEYRE ALL SAD#and probably really mad a disney which#how very girl boss of them#what even happens after they get off the cruise?? how on earth does disney explain a passenger that wasn’t supposed to be there dying???#what do they tell his parents??#do the other keepers go to the funeral???#does mrs whitman know what happened???#do their classmates??#is it common knowledge that dillard got stabbed or is did they spin it as like a cat accident or something???#also where did his parents think he was when he was on the cruise?#why do i have so many thoughts on a badly plotted hardly edited kids series from the 2000s that was effectively one giant ad campaign?#idk mental health reasons probably#do you guys ever read my tags?#i put a lot of bullshit here normally. just a lot of thoughts. like a little journal!#anyway#my wrtitng#finn whitman#dell philby#terry maybeck#charlene turner#willa angelo#amanda lockhart#jessica lockhart#kingdom keepers#ridley pearson#not tagging wayne because he really is a jackass
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midoriya-sensei!
#do u understand. how happy i am to hear he pursued teaching. do u even understand#i also like to think him and bkg still keep in touch relatively more than him and his other classmates cus their families are close#bnha#mha#midoriya izuku#bakudeku#bakugou katsuki#bkdk#fan art#becki draws stuff n stuff#bnha manga spoilers#mha manga spoilers#mha 430
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Some concept ideas from the “To Be or Not to Be” episode!! 👑🐸🥀
I’ve never really used maroons combined with purple like this in any of my art before, so experimenting it with these screenshots was so fun!!! It didn’t turn out exactly as I had hoped but I still think it gets the aura I was reaching for :D
#Marinette only auditioned bc Nino asked her to#and it was very clear Chloe was passionate about the play and the part#“passionate” by threatening classmates and belittling but#yes I am aware the title has nothing to do with the princess and the frog#BUT PLS IGNORE THAT#miraculous ladybug#chocoau#mlb
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the fact that people just put their Full Names on the internet fucking terrifies me. my roommates were talking about someone from their class and one of them went “wait let me find their instagram” and i kid you not it didn’t even take them 30 seconds. and their account wasn’t even private, meaning we could fully see their entire life. their schooling, hometown, family, place of employment, close friends, everything was right there. all because we knew their name. that’s genuinely terrifying to me and neither of my roommates even seemed phased. not to sound like a boomer but for the love of god we need internet anonymity back
#icarus speaks#they do this SO often#just. find classmates on instagram#sometimes by first name ALONE!!#you should not be able to do that by god 😭
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demanding a series in the same vein (heh, vein) as Dexter/Hannibal wherein a prolific serial killer plays cat & mouse with the police--except the serial killer in question is a preteen schoolgirl. this would make for compelling television due to the fact that middle school frequently causes girls to become deranged, and more media should reflect this
#she hangs out at active crime scenes in a way that should be a red flag but 'evades' the police simply by merit of being in 7th grade#the ONE 'detective'/nemesis who is convinced she had something to do with The Murders#is the classmate who sorta tried to bully her at the beginning of the school year but then the vibes got all intense and sapphic#so she backed off and has been Ignoring the Nerd she does Not have a special interest in#except then The Murders begin and she has so many Suspicions BUT#everytime she confronts the antihero the interaction ends in accidental intimacy followed by furious blushing#the nemesis's father is an (unsympathetic) cop character who repeatedly ignores his daughter's concerns#'dad i think the weird girl in my math class is a serial killer' 'that's not an excuse for failing algebra. go do your homework'
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Consider for a moment: A slow-burn identity reveal “no one knows” AU with an emphasis on ghosts being taken seriously as an actual, world-changing threat.
Ghosts are treated as an exceedingly dangerous, but unavoidable force of nature. They can come and go without warning, through naturally occurring spontaneous portals. They're territorial, driven only by obsession and hunger for the living. Particularly powerful ghosts are on par with natural disasters.
Life goes on because there's simply no other option. All major buildings have varying levels of ghost shields, some stronger than others. Just about everyone has some form of personal shield, weapon, or general deterrent. For the most part, humanity takes this apocalypse in stride, barely keeping it all together because there's just enough safety to keep them all sane.
Which is why the rumors of Phantom being able to fully mimic a human body incites panic in Amity.
Phantom was already a nightmare as it was–one of the most powerful and intelligent ghosts on record. His territorial fights with other ghosts for haunting (hunting) grounds in Amity have made global news several times already. Powerful ghosts could appear more human–but to think he was transforming down to a cellular level? Hiding among them? Bypassing ghost shields and alarms? Picking them off one by one?
The focus is mostly with Lancer's class, and how the school deals with this new threat on top of everything else. Everyone is a suspect, no one is safe, and Danny Fenton in particular gets slowly more and more exhausted, apathetic, and… unnerving.
The stress, the lack of sleep, the fighting, no one to turn to, not even his best friends or family–it takes a toll on him. Starving himself doesn't help, but he refuses to do more than take small bites from the ambient life energy and emotion of the living around him. Nothing that won't actually do lasting harm. He begins to slip up more and more, which Sam and Tucker begin to notice but haven't quite connected the dots yet.
But, well. What else can Danny do when Pariah Dark comes knocking on Amity’s doorstep, and his whole class is in the line of fire?
#Danny Phantom#zilly squeaks#btw i very much hc that ghosts are so intrinsically WRONG to all our senses that Phantom basically has a built in de-recognition spell#people surmise he's a young adult but that's about it#like they can see him perfectly but their brains refuse to connect his face to a human face#anyway i have brainworms this Friday night. how are y'all doing#kinda want Danny's friends and classmates to be terrified of Phantom#as a treat#(the treat is for me)#also there's not enough Mr. Lancer i love that man#by the way if anyone wants to write this#uhhhhh STRONG possibility I'd make you a ton of art for it#if you'd like to collab even. hit me up
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Oh my god I can’t believe I have to say this but:
DISABLED PEOPLE CAN HAVE GOOD DAYS!!
Just because I had one day when the pain wasn’t there for long enough for me to enjoy it doesn’t mean I am suddenly “cured from my issue” or that I don’t need accommodations anymore.
#are you for real#i just told a classmate about going to barre#the enthusiastic response was oh my god are you over your thing#bro what THING#my disability?#because obviously fucking not#then he was like#do you have to do classes online still#im shre if you can do exercise you can come to class#my disability paralyses me with pain on the regular#we found the solution guys#all the years of suffering have come to an end#you just need to go to ONE barre class#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#disability#disabled#disability awareness
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sexualization of female athletes is so disgusting and it makes me SO mad. a woman can never focus solely on her sport, she also has to make sure her physique looks good in skin tight spandex. and she has to constantly self-monitor to make sure she’s not accidentally flashing the crowd. and even if she’s the most skilled and talented athlete in the world, she still gets dolled up and paraded around like some kind of sexy show pony. it’s seriously ridiculous.
#female athletes#women’s sports#radblr#radical feminists do touch#like i remember being a literal CHILD forced to wear underwear in front of all my friends and classmates#and any time i dove for a ball or moved at all i would get jeers from the audience talking about my ass being out#like let me wear knee length shorts???#it’s so stupid
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id fumble him so bad
#really really rushed but ill probably go back and clean these up tmrw anyway#i havent played stardew valley but ive been meaning to because i have a little crush on this guy ^_^ hes cute#idk why but smth about him is really endearing. like between him and sunburst i feel like theres a pattern here but idk what#i guess my type is boys that whimper#the last two images are based on a real conversation i had with my doctor a few years ago lol. deadass stared at me for a good 2 minutes#i wanna make a farmersona too...... if my minecraft gameplay is anything to go by id probably play with animals all day instead of#actually farming........ can i just do livestock in stardew.. i dont have a green thumb i managed to kill a succulent once......#actually idk if my computer is even strong enough to run steam but i dont wanna get it on my phone. maybe ill get the microsoft download#unless stardew has its own website like minecraft. i really dont know anything abt it so im going in blind from the start#my art#myart#doodles#puppysona#sona#sdv#sdv harvey#stardew valley#whats funny about this is i have a classmate who kinda looks like if brian david gilbert and harvey had a baby. i havent told him this
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[ @orvwomenweek ] ljh + childhood || day 2
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#lee jihye#ljh#orvww#AGHHHHHHHHHH [RIPS MY SHIRT OFF]#conceptualized sketched developed and colored this mostly within 2 classes.#still just barely made it within the day#CHRIST. i was scaring my classmate w how frantically i was drawing#i went from having noooo idea what to do for today to being very ambitious. ehe#na bori cameo btw#also woe. lee jihye design hc be upon ye (its very slight though)#i gotta rest my wrist now. GOOD NIGHT
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wanna draw book 6 stuff again i love them
#twisted wonderland#twst#ツイステッドワンダーランド#ツイステ#mmarts#twst oc#twst yuu#rook hunt#epel felmier#nrc tribe#im not tagging all of them lmao#twst book 6 spoilers#IM DEF GOING TO DRAW ME AND THE BOYS LOOKING FOR CLASSMATES#ill do it later
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this has been a roller coaster of a design journey but finally I can present you: class swap artificer!adaine and rogue!fabian
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#fh class quangle#goodbye... goodbye hoodie kid adaine..... we have mecha pilot/power armor adaine instead#I couldnt really land how she'd get a hoodie reliably in freshman year given the abernants pattern of confiscating shit from her#so I kinda switched gear and dug a bit into a like sukeban aesthetics instead. and since shes with the AV club I like the idea of#like a radio coord thing for her. hence the suspenders#I fully admit the sukeban thing is influenced by the hacker woman in ghostwire tokyo who I have a small crush on#she's SO cool. too bad about a number of things with that game#the jacket of useful things is a racer jacket this time bc Im predictable like that#her ensemble in junior year is her tank top + overall it might not be clear enough in the pic...#just had the thought ''man I should do turnarounds for all of them'' and immediately had to slap myself out of it#anyways uh! fabian I have inflicted with my favourite thing to do to characters who like to stealth or fly under the radar#which is Bright Extremely Noticeable Jacket That Hides Your Hands#fabian's ghost motif has led me to the famous horror movie trope of silhouette with iconic jacket from afar#(see Sinister and Alice Sweet Alice)#and I love to imagine him hanging the coat up somewhere and opponents aiming there instead of at him#but also the raincoat is specifically modeled after the yellow fisherman's raincoat#and. that led to. me thinking abt fabian pulling riz up at that cliff with a net instead of the battle sheet lmao#so his junior year design is fully Fishing. which is so fucking funny it has obliterated all other possibilities from my brain#ranger flavour: captain ahab#I still debate making him carry around an actual fishing rod tbh. right now Im giving him a rifle grappling hook thing#gods. I just think High School Classmate Suddenly Gets Way Too Into Fishing is the funniest fucking thing that can happen#thank you fabian. thank you for giving me this. love you buddy#still blanking on kristen but! throughout this whole storm here I've realised I just need to fuck around
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ladies on some sewing rulers.
#i continue to flex my tailor’s era#sewing rulers#french curve ruler#neckhole ruler#a classmate of mine have these really fancy rulers that works perfectly for bigger body proportions#compared to the ones we were able to find in the beginning of classes#those were licherally made out of cardboard (i already accidentally bent my hip curve in half *cry*#instead of buying some online..we traced the fancy ruler on thick sintraboard and cut/sanded those out#our instructor requested me to paint her rulers#specifally with some anime on it 😂😂😂#im just gonna print these gorlies on a vinyl sticker and stick em on the rulers hahahah#im struggling what to do with the thinner curved rulers#anyways this is my lil parting/graduation gift to her
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THE CUTESITS
#YIPPEEEEE#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#cinnamoroll#sanrio#sure. Hwho care#GYAAAAA NEXT PRSK BROADCAST ANNOUNCEDDDD ISOBE KARIN I WOUVVV YOUUUUU#i hope emukasa fes isnt until 3.5 if emu gets another lim do soon and tsukasa gets 4 in one year it's just over. wonderhover.#um i have no idea what any of the songs on that thing they post on twitter will be. suddenly ive never listened to a song ever#the only song i can beg for is oyozurebito and none of the songs are 2 characters long sooo. boo#i should draw the covers i want. in fact i will. in fact i have already for some#this looks saturated to hell with my nightmode on HAUSBDJAH emu color flashbang bwaaaaa#otori emu#proseka#i always forget these ones. my bad#i hate tagging on every website forevevrrr and ever#omg wait i forgot to say. I drew this in an aggie canvas w my classmates#and found out you can COPY AND PADTE TRANSPARENT STUFF from aggie to procreate. crazy#i rendered it a lil but aggie kind of awesome for choosing colors bc the interface is so unintuitive on mobile. and cradhes so mach.#so i have to think abt it more and grab and go
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How would the end of middle school go with them fused, since the entrance exam is in Feb and the school year ends in March? :0
everybody laughs at them </3
but fr I was actually just thinking about this, and it would be so embarassingggggg lol imagine you and this other kid that you bullied since kindergarten get stuck together and have to go to school like that, where all the other kids are hyper aware of how much history is between the two of you. They probably do laugh lmao
The thing is, none of them really like Deku, right. They all think his dreams are laughable and childish, but they also don't really like bakugou either. They all think he's annoying and an egotistical jerk (which he is) so there's definitely no sympathy for their situation and poor Katzuku probably spends that month fairly isolated just like... figuring himself out while everybody at school gives him a wide berth and snickers behind his back
#ask#fusion au#they'd be too scared to full on mess with him#but see it as karma for katsuki or something lol#wait this also raises further questions about their grades omg like what do they do about that ?#this was mostly answering how they're perceived by classmates but we haven't even delved down into the more technical part of it#how Does it all work? idk
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HOSHI ✯ 240529 Just Do It
#svtedit#kwon soonyoung#soonyoung#svtsource#svtcreations#seventeen#*#*gifs#*ksy#*svt#flashing tw#거침없이 (Just do it) @한양대학교 ERICA 'ESPEROBEAT'#look at my classmate i'm going to fail all my classes
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