#do something man

[hopeforchanges]

***dramatic inhale, lungs full of air, cheeks puffed out, dramatic exhale***

OKAY HEAR ME OUT. Galadriel Gets Hanahaki Disease Post-War: An AU No One Asked For But Everyone Needed the Last Alliance of Elves and Men pulls through (barely), Sauron’s defeated, and Middle-earth is ready to exhale for the first time in ages. Evil’s gone. Everything’s fine. Sure, Isildur fucked off with the one ring, but he ended up face down ass up in the river so nvm actually.

Cue Galadriel, just vibing in her forest home. She hears the news: Evil has been defeated. Sauron vaporized. We don't know if he dead but he sure look dead and his bling has been lost.

She’s a bit conflicted, but quickly pushes the thought where all the thoughts of this nature had gone ever since she got stranded on the raft: back of the head, sealed with fire, never to be thought of again.

She’s doing her ethereal elf-lady thing—checking the Mirror, side-eyeing Celeborn, contemplating the unending march of time—and suddenly… she coughs. This is the kind of cough that comes with ✨trauma✨. She feels something in her throat, hacks into her hand, and what falls out? A flower. Like, a full-on delicate, blood-streaked petal.

She has heard of this disease, she has seen it, back when Morgoth first brought war to Valinor, some elves and men both that managed to survive that unspeakable horror ... but that was a long time ago. Middle-earth has been healed since, no?

Except standing there with a bouquet growing out of her lungs because she’s repressing some next-level unholy feelings. She tries to hide it, of course, because what’s more elf-core than denying your feelings until they literally kill you? Celeborn starts to notice, though.

She’s coughing up black petals now (Nightshade? Some evil flower with a ridiculous Elvish name like Mornothlossë?).She stops sleeping (as if she slept much before lol).The golden glow she usually has? Fading fast.

The flowers keep coming. Her power wanes. Celeborn tries everything—herbs, healing songs, taking her on long walks through Lothlórien’s version of Whole Foods (idk what Elves do for fun). Nothing works.

One night, when she’s feeling particularly weak, she whispers in her husband’s arms: "It should have been me who destroyed him. I should have gone to him.

And she just looks away, her hand covered in crimson-stained petals, because she knows.

She knows.

Does Celeborn, the ultimate sad husband guy, do something reckless like trek to the ruins of Mordor to find closure for her? Or—does Sauron, who may or may not have some lingering, half-dead spirit floating around, somehow catch wind of her condition and decide, “Welp if there ever was a time to turn myself into a floating flaming eye..."

Meanwhile, Galadriel in her golden halls, coughing up dying Mallorn flowers because her heart is tied to something so dark it snuffs out even her light.

Should I write this? Should YOU? Someone PLEASE write this.

[beebfreeb]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!

(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)

[egophiliac]

still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)

anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)

[no-face-no-shame]

Locking in seconds before doing the most insane thing possible

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[talesfromthecrypts]

I get so frustrated by "yeah make vampires scary again" stuff every time a vampire movie has a "monster" vampire (Nosferatu, Voyage of the Demeter, etc). It reeks of an attitude that thinks all horror is about something being ugly and horrifying on the outside. If you can't see the horror in Interview With the Vampire, or a Jean Rollin film, or The Hunger, or Carmilla, or the vampire sections of Baldur's Gate because they are attractive that is absolutely an issue on your end. There is such a rich well of themes to dig into with horror and vampires, especially where sex and romance are concerned, but people are so desperate to separate romance and horror. The despair of being frozen as a child even while your mind matures, the loneliness of an eternity alone, the terror of eternal hunger that can't be sated, the awful seduction by something beautiful but monstrous. Trying to turn vampires into just any other monster doesn't make them more horrifying, its just a more kind of overt horror that can only be done so many times and is often covered better by other monsters.

[gothamite-rambler]

That was actually a good deed, Jason.

Jason Todd walked over to Bruce Wayne scrolling through photos on his phone. He tapped the man on the shoulder.

Jason: You want baby pictures of Damian?

Bruce spat out his coffee in shock. Jason chuckled.

Jason: You have to pay me.

Bruce (frantic): You better not be lying to me because if you have baby pictures of him I will pay you whatever price you ask.

Jason: Um okay I have about 10 I can give you now so $10,000 for each one.

Bruce: Stay there, gotta get my phone and I'll transfer the funds to your bank account.

Bruce ran out of the room leaving Jason Todd with Alfred watching the entire interaction, impressed.

Alfred: Jason, how did you get baby pictures?

Jason: Remember, I knew about his existence before Bruce ever did. I visited the kid for the first 9 years before Bruce found out about him. Talia paid me to take photos of him for memories.

Alfred: That's very wholesome of you.

Jason (confused): I said Talia paid me.

Alfred: Money or not, you did a good deed. Now Master Bruce can have a few photos and trust me, he's been begging Talia for baby pictures for years. Be proud of yourself.

Jason smiled.

Jason: I appreciate you saying that.

Alfred: I mean every word of it. You're welcome.

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[thelostmoongazer]

you all dont know tragic yaoi like i do.

[inkiedraws]

One day i will have huge arms just like Zoro.

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[egophiliac]

queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎

I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠

[billiewena]

thinking about how the only time bobby and cas interact in season four is when he knocks him out cold to talk to dean alone. and the next time bobby sees him, cas is powerless and just comes to steal dean's necklace in a weird interaction that had to be filmed close-up because dean and cas are just inches from each other's face. the next time is an offscreen interaction where he just gets dean's address from bobby and probably left immediately after. combine this with the fact that bobby knew dean had a male siren the season before (and tried to be supportive) and let cas be in the family photo a few episodes later, there is a nonzero chance bobby singer was the first destiel shipper.

[slavhew]

hm

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)