#do people get that about tohru? that she was PAYING ATTENTION

[thetravelerkureno]

crush me with your hatred until I break and can never get up again

[cinnamonest]

holy crap, that tohru fic. Pleaseeeee I MUST know what happens next. Incel misogynist is actually peak content idek anymore what can top that for me. And your writing is so great. When Tohru warned reader he was about to ask a question she could get the wrong idea about, I was like "yeah, it can't be that bad, since he's being apologetic and all," and then he hit her with it 😭 i was like help 💀. I'm also very curious to know how he got fixated on her. Like he was so quick to go, "im gonna kill u because ur not nice enough," but we all know what those small greetings and smiles from darling did for him

To be fair, the more attached guys get, the more volatile they are towards rejection — it's that if I can't have you, no one can type of mentality, and he has it to a very intense degree.

One of the most interesting and captivating parts of Adachi’s character imo is how in the official P4 anthology manga it shows how he's just so bitter and mad that even when he spends a day with the Dojimas and they're actually so nice to him and appreciate him, he goes home and reflects on the day, and ends up getting mad and throwing things and tearing his apartment up — he's one of those people who just can't be happy, can't accept kindness because he's just that bitter.

There's no winning. He'd get angry if he's rejected or reprimanded, but he also can't emotionally handle kindness and love and will push back against it as a defensive measure.

That's why living with him is such a nightmare — you can't appease or placate him. Once he's “mask-off” towards you, you learn he's incredibly pessimistic and interprets everything with bitterness and paranoia. So even if you go out of your way to try to make him happy, his eyes just narrow, he tilts his head and draws the most negative conclusions—

Oh, you're trying to get me to let my guard down, huh?

—or—

You're being awfully nice today. What did you do that you don't want me finding out about…?

—or—

You think I'll just forget about earlier if you're all sweet now, is that it?

Everything, everything you do is automatically viewed through such lenses of negativity. And when he suspects that you're doing something with deceitful intent, he gets mad, and when he gets mad, he gets violent. Holding you by your throat or hair and manhandling you around like a ragdoll.

So you're punished if you're bad, but you're also punished if you're good. But don't think you can escape by trying to stay quiet and neutral — then he gets pissed off because you're being boring and that's annoying, or he interprets it as you avoiding him, giving him a cold shoulder and silent treatment on purpose. And that is probably the worst thing you could do — as always, he's so incredibly sensitive to any form of perceived rejection.

So there really is no winning. You have to give him attention, but if you do, you're trying to deceive him somehow, and if you say you're not then you're lying and that's especially bad. To say it wears on your psyche is an understatement.

Not that he doesn't have his vulnerable moments, in particular when he has bad days at work — he comes home and takes all the frustration out on you, either making you listen to his whining and complaining the whole night, reaming your holes raw and sore, or, usually, both. And in those moments, you sometimes do get a feeling of tenderness, where you physically feel him lose that near-constant feeling of tension in his body as he melts into your touch, lets you rub your hands through his hair and down his back for a few precious, soft moments… but after a bit too long, of course, he snaps back to self-awareness and embarrassment over the momentary vulnerability, and now you have to pay for making him like that.

[therantingfangirl]

Kinktober 2021 Day 19 - Body Worship with Yuki

Kinktober 2021 day 19 -Body Worship

Fandom: Fruits Basket

Yuki x female reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: There were times after you saw gorgeous people staring at your boyfriend that you could not ignore. And it left you feeling so unattractive. You weren't enough...But Yuki was inclined to disagree.

Content Warning: smut, oral, reader is insecure, reader has stretch marks, jealousy

Author Notes: I'm going to get these done before October ends, I swear.

My kinktober masterlist

Minors do not interact! If you do not have your age in your bio, or if your age is under 18, I will block you.

It wasn’t that you considered yourself to be ugly…Really, you could see the beauty in your own features. It was just that it was so much easier to see the beauty in others than it was to see it in yourself. It didn’t help that the man sitting next to you happened to one of the most beautiful human beings you had ever met.

And every girl, and some guys, that you met happened to agree with that assessment.

People who you believed to be so much more attractive than yourself hitting on your boyfriend always left you feeling insecure. You couldn’t help it. Why would he want you when he could have anyone he wanted? You just waited for the day that he woke up and decided that he wanted one of them instead.

“What are you thinking about?” your boyfriend’s voice broke through your inner turmoil.

You blinked rapidly and shook your head, trying to get the image of the drop-dead gorgeous brunette who had just asked Yuki if she could buy him a drink out of your head. You placed your gaze back over at the man and forced a smile onto your face.

“Oh, just about the trip,” you told him.

Yuki smiled brightly at the reminder of the days to come. He was taking you to meet his friends from high school—the two most important people in his life. Though, based on the brief conversations you heard between him and Kyo, you had a hard time believing that the two had ever been actually close. He had been excited for the trip since you agreed to take it. He couldn’t wait for the three of you to meet. And all you had heard was how amazing Tohru was.

No pressure or anything.

Not that he knew how often you thought about the seemingly perfect brunette that he said saved his family. Didn’t know that too often you stared at the picture of Tohru and Yuki hanging on the wall of your living room.

You tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear, letting your gaze drift back to the woman who had approached Yuki. You looked her over, noting the definitive curve of her breast and sway of her hips. Her legs were ridiculously long, stretching out from the hemline of her dress for miles. Her pouty lips had been painted a ruby red. She was sex on legs and you couldn’t believe that Yuki had dismissed her so easily.

Hell, if she had asked you if she could buy you a drink, you may have said yes.

Yuki called out your name, interrupting your attention on the other woman. You turned to look back at him, blinking rapidly. His eyebrows were scrunched together, his eyes narrowed as he looked at you.

“You know that I declined the offer, don’t you?” he asked, ever so perceptive.

You took a deep breath, tugging softly at the ends of your hair. “Yes, I know that.” You tilted your head to the side and clenched your jaw tightly. “Why didn’t you again?”

Yuki only stared at you in confusion. “Do I really need to answer that?”

You sighed heavily and leaned back in your chair. “No, I guess you don’t.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him getting up from his chair and offering you his hand. You glanced up at him while slowly taking his hand in your own. “What are you doing?”

“We’re going home now.”

“We’ve only had one drink.”

But he gave you a look that didn’t give way to argument. You got to your feet and intertwined your fingers with his. He led you back to the bar and closed his tab, paying for the two drinks that had been ordered. He led you back outside and to his car, his eyes narrowed in determination.

“Yuki—” you said, but he didn’t even respond. He opened the passenger door to his car and gestured for you to get in. You slid in and buckled up as he went around to the driver’s side.

He immediately took your hand again once he was in his own seat. He placed a soft kiss against your knuckles before letting your joined hands rest on your thigh. The drive to his apartment was short, but the silence in the car made it feel so much longer. You didn’t know what to say—didn’t know how to voice the self-consciousness that you felt whenever you saw an attractive person so much as looking at your boyfriend for too long. You thought that maybe if you talked about it for too long, you’d start crying. And you really didn’t want to cry.

When he pulled up to the parking lot outside of his apartment building, you thought that maybe the tension would die down. That maybe now that you were going back into the apartment that was covered in pictures of the two of you—and even was decorated in some places by your own hands—that you’d be able to take a deep breath and get over the feelings from earlier.

But when he led you directly into his bedroom, completely bypassing the couch that you would normally both collapse onto to watch some television, your heart skipped a beat entirely. Your breathing picked up, anxiety shooting throughout your body.

Yuki led you to the end of his bed. He cupped your cheek in his hand and tilted your head back, forcing you to fully look at him. “Stop that.”

“What?” You squeaked out.

His gray eyes bore into yours, and you knew that they saw everything. They saw every insecure thought, every raw emotion. You never could deny him—could never evade his all-consuming gaze.

“Stop thinking that you’re not enough.”

“I never said—”

“You didn’t have to say anything.”

Yuki’s hands moved down to your thighs and hooked into your hemline. He brushed his nose over the shell of your ear, his warm breath cascading over your sensitive skin. He continued to tug your dress up your body, even as your body froze up against his unveiling of your skin.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?”

“Yuki—”

“Don’t try to argue with me,” he told you with a quiet chuckle against your skin. He tugged the clothing over your head and tossed it onto the ground aimlessly. He took one step back from you, his eyes taking a long and slow look over your body.

You fidgeted under his stare. You rubbed your hands together and rocked back and forth on your feet. He reached a hand out, brushing his fingers across your stomach. His fingertips traced the contours of your stomach, circling your belly button intentionally.

“Do you know what you do to me?”

Yuki stepped up to you and you stepped back in response, the back of your knees banging against the mattress. He rested his hand against the small of your back and pressed his chest against yours until your back fell against the top of the covers. He rested his knees on either side of your waist and ducked his head down. He pressed his lips against the expanse of your neck while his hands explored your exposed torso.

“Yuki, you don’t need to—”

“I want to,” he mumbled against your skin. His hands slid beneath you and unhooked your bra. He tugged the straps down your arms and let the underwear join your dress on the floor beside you.

He trailed his lips down to your breasts, carefully tracing around each curve before landing on your hardened nipple. He tugged your nipple into his mouth, sucking it lightly between his teeth. You arched your back, eagerly pushing yourself closer to him. You slid your fingers into his hair, sucking air between your teeth.

“Yuki,” you mumbled out.

He hummed around your nipple. He slowly trailed his kisses to your other breast and traced that nipple with his lips. “I think about doing this to you more often than I should,” he admitted against your skin. “You’re a drug that I can never get out of my system.”

“Sounds healthy,” you grunted out.

He laughed quietly and kissed down your stomach. He kissed alongside a particular stretch mark that you had always been self-conscious of, a few indentions along the curve of your hip. You sucked your bottom lip between your teeth and tugged on it harshly. A chill ran down your spine and to your toes, causing them to curl against the mattress.

Yuki hooked his fingers in your underwear line and tugged them quickly down your legs. He pulled back, looking over your naked body. “Look at you,” he mumbled quietly. He took hold of your leg and pushed it open, exposing your most intimate area to the world (well, to him and his room).

“So beautiful,” he crooned. He bypassed where you needed him entirely and began to kiss a line down the inside of your leg. He traced your knee carefully with his lips and fingers, fingernail dipping into the indentions on your leg. He made his way down to the top of your foot before switching to your other leg and trailing the same line with his lips up to the apex between your thighs.

He slid his arms underneath your hips and propped you up.

Self-consciously, you started to cross your legs, but he kept them pushed open. “Don’t hide from me,” he mumbled before dipping down. He ran his tongue over your slit, letting it dip just slightly between your folds. He collected the slick that dripped from your entrance and brought it right up to your clit. He sucked it lightly before pulling back. “You’re just so beautiful.”

Yuki ran his hands over the expanse of your legs slowly. “Every inch of you is perfect for me,” he told you as he ran his hand up the swell of your hip. He ducked his head back down and quickly took your swollen nub into his mouth. His other hand came up and he slid two fingers into your entrance with ease. He began to stretch you out with his fingertips while his lips greedily sucked on your clit.

A quiet moan fell from your lips. You closed your eyes tightly and let your head fall back against the pillow, reveling in the sensations that flooded throughout your body.

“Yuki,” you whimpered out. You grabbed hold of the sheet beneath you, digging your fingertips into the fabric.

He sucked even harsher, his finger dipping deep inside of you. It wasn’t going to take long, you could tell. That familiar knot in your stomach was tightening at an alarming rate. His words had ignited something within you—something deep and primal. And it was all going to snap.

“Just let go, my love,” he mumbled into you. “Let me take care of you. I’ll always take care of you.”

His fingers picked up speed, thrusting in and out of you as he gave your clit a harsh suck. Your knees banged against the sides of his head. Your hips bucked upwards and you gasped loudly just as that feeling tightened until it couldn’t tighten any longer. His name was a plea on your lips, a never-ending chant that you couldn’t contain.

He worked your body until your moans turned into quiet whimpers. He didn’t pull away until your legs fall weakly back against the bedspread. Only then did he pull back to look at you. He smiled widely down at you, his mouth and jaw covered in your slick. “Absolutely beautiful,” he said before sliding down your body and pressing his lips to yours.

So maybe you could get over the stares that others gave your lover. Maybe you could do that, because you knew that no matter what others said or did, Yuki Sohma wanted you. It was your lips that Yuki Sohma would kiss—your body that he touched. And even if you didn’t feel like you deserved it, you could at least stop waiting for the day that he decided he wanted something more.

[themultilanguagenerd]

Anime for Learning Japanese Recs

Chances are if you’re learning Japanese, one of your motivators is being able to enjoy Japanese media like anime and understand it completely. And while some people might argue against using anime as a tool to learn anime, I say it actually is a great tool to use for shadowing and listening practice IF you use the right series (and don’t entirely rely on anime alone).

My biggest pro tip would be avoid using extremely action/fantasy-oriented anime like Jujutsu Kaisen, Naruto or even Boku no Hero Aacdemia. I’m not saying to you shouldn’t watch them, but I am saying that those aren’t anime to watch for studying. Those are more like entertainment anime. Nice as those anime are, a good portion of the vocabulary wouldn’t exactly be... useful. Trust me, unless you’re talking about the show specifically with friends, ‘cursed energy’ and ‘illusion techniques’ are the last words you should be learning lol.

So I will be supplying a list of anime I enjoy and think would be great tools for aiding your journey learning the Japanese language.

Fruits Basket 2019・フルーツバスケット

Long long ago, God decided to throw a festival extending an invite to distinct creatures of the land. However, the trickster Rat lied to the Cat that the festival would be taking place the day after the intended date. The next day the Rat, the Ox, the Tiger and so on all arrived to attend God’s festivalー all except the Cat who had been tricked. Fast forward to present day Japan and high schooler Tohru Honda finds herself in a particular predicament when, through a series of events, she finds herself living with two boys her age Yuki and Kyo Sohma. The catch? Whenever embraced by the opposite sex, they, along with ten other members of the Sohma Clan, turn into one of the twelve zodiac animals.

Fruits Basket is one of my favorite series of all time, it’s literally in my top 3 anime/manga of all times. It was the first manga I read back in the early 2000s as a little kid, the 2001 anime garnered a huge fanbase, it just has a special place in my heart. It might like look like a typical love triangle series with a bland protagonist and equally bland love interests where she plays ‘which personality do I like the most’, but Fruits Basket is definitely not that. Character journeys are non-linear, the good and bad lovely and messy parts of relationships are depicted and even side characters are given justice and arcs. Despite its whimsical summary, however, Fruits Basket is a story about abuse, trauma and healing and may be triggering for some. But I assure you, Furuba handles the topic abuse with so much respect and grace and deserves every praise it receives as a character-driven story. (There is a 2001 adaptation but it isn’t entirely faithful to the manga so I recommend watching the 2019 remake first.)

Note: Despite being an early 2000s series, Furuba’s remake was adapted to modern day with smart phones and the like so outdated language isn’t really a problem. You’ll actually be getting a good mixture of formal and informal speech throughout the show thanks to our protagonist, Tohru. Contrast to the rest of the cast, Tohru consistently speaks using keigo ー a quirk pointed out by the rest of cast. So if you’re trying to work on formal speech, Tohru will be a useful character to pay attention to.

NANA・ナナ

Nana Komatsu is a naïve 20 year old with a penchant for easily falling in love at first sight. Nana Osaki is a jaded 20 year old polishing the shards of her dream to become a successful rock musician. These two young women are as different as different gets and yet they find their worlds colliding after fate brings them together on a one-way train ride to Tokyo. Once they find themselves rooming together in apartment number 707, it is clear both Nanas are in for the journey of a lifetime.

One of the most underrated josei anime of all time and another 1 of my top 3 series of all time. The characters? Amazing. The music? Ten out of ten. The Nanas have such great chemistry and both are equally amazing. Nana can be a bit to real when it comes to emotions, messy relationships and everything in between so it can be extremely personal, especially if you are in the same age demographic as the the main cast. I also have a fun little anecdote about how I share birthdays with Olivia Lufkin who provides the singing voice for the character Reira and we exchanged birthday DMs, this series is literally everything to me. If more people come to learn about it and love it through language learning, the better! 

Note: NANA takes place in around the early 2000s so things like slang might be a little outdated but you’ll hear plenty of casual speech in order to talk with friends

Given・ ギヴン

High schooler Ritsuka Uenoyama has a simple plan: tolerate school and rock out with his band. But a wrench is thrown into the cogs after he encounters fellow student Mafuyu Sato, a quiet boy who constantly carries around a guitar case. Weird as he is though, the kid has some pipes. Upon asking Mafuyu to join the band though, Ritsuka finds himself annoyed and stumped when the guy says ‘no thanks, not interested’.

Honestly my favorite quirk of this series is how each of the for protagonists has a kanji for one of the four seasons in their names 冬, 夏, 春 and 秋. Given is a lovely series to watch with gay and bi characters and encouraging message surrounding coming to terms with one’s sexuality. This anime does have light suicide mentions as Mafuyu’s previous boyfriend committed suicide prior to the beginning of the series, so I would like for that to be open so no one is taken aback by it. And if you’re looking for a series centered around a queer cast with a splash of music, this is the series for you.

Asobi Asobase・あそびあそばせ

Enter Olivia, an American raised in Japan who can’t speak English. Enter Kasumi who, in spite of her seemingly intellectual appearance, is absolutely trash when it comes to her English class. Then enter Hanako, an intellectual student with decent athletic skills who literally just wants to be popular. Somehow, they end up creating a club together. What kind of club? One centered around learning fun past times and hand games.

Pure chaos and girls being girls the anime, that’s it send tweet. There’s honestly not much more I can say about it, but if you’re looking for a light-hearted watch to accompany your learning this is it right here.

Aria the Animation・ARIA

In the hopes of becoming a certified gondolier, young Akari Mizunashi decides to leave her home on Earth and travel to the new blue planet of Mars to live on Neo-Venezia. Along the way, she meets other apprentices hoping for the same thing and they all train hard in order to accomplish their goals of becoming Primas.

A wholesome and slow series to use to learn Japanese that I loved watching as a kid. Aria actually have several series with the main three, in order being Aria the Animation, Aria the Natural and Aria the Origination. I recommend giving this show a watch! Each episode is its own adventure while following the overarching story of the three protagonists establishing themselves in their chosen career paths. The animation is lovely and so is the music, so I’d give this underrated classic a watch for your studies.

Carole and Tuesday・キャロル&チューズデイ

Carole is an orphan from Earth. Tuesday is a Mars native who runs away from home to escape her stuffy and sheltered rich life. The one thing they have in common? Their desire to create music and after meeting during one of Carole’s impromptu street performances, they realize that their talents combined will get them a lot farther than if they tried being solo artists. 

Another music series but with some light science fiction elements since, like the previous recommendation, C&T takes place on terraformed Mars. And all things considered, C&T is a pretty diverse show with characters of different ethnicities all over and even one of the main characters being a black teen. So if you’re really looking to have some diverse cast members in your anime, give this anime a shot.

If you end up watching any of these series, definitely let me know what you think about them and if they were useful for you! さようなら！

[ghostietea]

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

[coldflame96]

So stay with me and I’ll have it made

Summary: For Kyo Week. Prompt 5; Rain 

Rating: G

Also found on AO3

This is just ridiculously self-indulgent fluff. 

Kyo woke up and saw that Tohru's side of the bed was empty, neatly made, which hinted she's been gone for quite a while. He vaguely recalled her telling him she was going somewhere and then kissing his forehead, but it was hazy. She always was an early riser, and normally he was too, but today he felt...lethargic. Even just sitting up was a struggle, limbs heavy with fatigue, and he had a headache. Was he getting sick? He heard the gentle patter of something hitting the roof and looked out the window.

It’s raining. That explains it.

Learning that the rain still bothered him even after the cat spirit left him was...annoying, but he was used to it by now. He was sure that was probably the reason Tohru went wherever she was going on her own. He heard some shuffling from down the hall and groaned a bit at the thought of having to get up. Good thing it was a Sunday so he wasn’t obligated to be productive…

He stuck a leg out, mentally preparing to leave the comfort of his bed, and right as he did, his door flew open and Emika toddled in.

“Daddy?” She put her arms up for him to carry her. He smiled at her gently.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he hoisted her up, with effort because she wasn’t a tiny baby anymore and she was getting heavy. “What have you been doing?”

She didn’t answer, tugging at his shirt, holding out a large block. “Play!”

He grimaced. “I don’t know if Daddy has the energy for that today, honey. He’s not feeling too great.”

She cocked her head and he wondered how much of that she actually understood. She was still pretty little.

“No play?” Her huge, brown eyes practically inflated.

He wasn’t getting out of this, was he? But he really didn’t wanna get out of bed…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hajime had only turned his back for one minute, and Emika was gone. Mom had asked him to watch over her while she went to the store since it was raining and Dad never did well with that. It’s not like he couldn’t read outside in the living room just as easily as he did on his bed.

Except that last chapter had been particularly intense and one minute, Emika was playing with her blocks and the next minute, she was gone.

And he had a pretty good idea of where she went.

He rolled his eyes, tucked his book under his arm, and headed towards the parents room.

He saw the door completely open and his suspicions were looking more and more likely. His parents always left the door cracked so they could still have their privacy while not locking Emika out since she was too small to reach the handle.

Sure enough...There she was, sitting on top of Dad’s lap handing him a small collection of blocks (How did she even carry all those?) and he sighed. So much for letting him rest.

They both turned to him at the same time. “Did you need something?” Dad asked.

His voice sounded groggy and Hajime felt a little guilty for not doing his job properly.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I was reading and I got distracted. I was supposed to keep her from bothering you.”

He frowned. “You guys don’t ever bother me.”

He averted his eyes. “Yeah, well, I still should’ve kept a closer eye on her since Mom asked me to.”

“Where's your mom?”

“At the store buying ingredients for dinner.”

Dad gave him a confused look. “We just went shopping the other day.”

He shrugged. “Maybe she wanted to do something special.”

Emika decided at that moment that Dad wasn’t paying enough attention to her and started tugging his shirt again, whining. “Daddy, play!”

“Alright, I’m sorry. Your brother distracted me.” He gave him a sly look, almost secretive.

Hajime rolled his eyes. “I can take her if you want. So you can rest.”

His dad raised an eyebrow. “It’s fine, Hajime. You’re not her parent, so she’s not really your responsibility anyway.”

That was...technically true, but the dismissive tone sort of made him feel a little spiteful. Leaving the room would make it seem like he failed. He tsked and sat on the other side of the bed, the made side, next to them, and leaned back on the pillow, opening his book. His dad looked amused.

“What are you doing?”

“Reading.”

“Alright then.”

He was told to watch over his baby sister and if she was gonna be in here, then so was he.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kazuya’s episode of his favorite cartoon had just finished and it was then that he noticed he was the only one left in the room. Where did Emi-chan and Nii-san go? They were in here just a second ago. Were they playing hide and seek? He jumped from his spot. Well, if they’re hiding, I’m gonna find them.

First place he checked was under the couch. Nothing.

He opened the closet door. Nope.

He saw that Mommy and Daddy’s room was open and cocked his head. Their door wasn't usually open and Daddy wasn’t feeling well. And like a lightbulb, it came to him. They’re hiding in the closet!

He pressed himself to the corner, prepared to sneak up on them, but then did a double take when he saw Nii-san sitting in Mommy’s spot reading, Daddy sleeping next to him.

“Why are you in here?” he asked curiously, and Nii-san jolted, glaring at him..

“Shh!” he pointed at Daddy next to him, and he only just noticed that Emi-chan was on top of him, also sleeping.

“Sorry,” he whispered. Just looking at how comfy they were made him feel sleepy.

He went to his brother’s side, hopping over his long legs to press himself next to Daddy.

“What are you doing?” Nii-san hissed. “If you wake them up, you’ll be sorry.”

He maneuvered his way under the covers, warm from Daddy being there, and gave his brother a triumphant look.

His daddy groaned and both of them froze, Nii-san getting that look he usually did before getting mad at him, but then Kazuya felt an arm around him, bringing him in closer to his dad’s side, and then nothing. He relaxed.

“Nii-san, you should nap with us too. It’s warm under here.”

His brother didn’t look up from his book. “No.”

He pouted. “Why not?”

“Because I’m not a baby and I don’t need a nap.”

“I’m not-” he yawned in the middle of his sentence, “I’m not a baby.”

“Uh-huh.”

And the sound of the rain mixed with the heat of the blanket knocked him right out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tohru sighed, carrying her bags for dinner. She’d been gone longer than she thought due to the market being surprisingly packed for a rainy Sunday.

She opened her door, putting the umbrella in.

“I’m home!” She called out. But there was no response.

Huh, that’s strange. In a house with three children and a husband, it normally wasn’t this quiet.

She put her perishables in the fridge and walked down the hallway. Where was everyone?

She was about to ask Kyo-kun if he knew anything or see if he even was still here, but paused in the doorway at the sight before her.

There was her husband, asleep to her lack of surprise, but the interesting part was all the kids around him, also asleep. Emi-chan was on his chest, Kazu-kun was burrowed under the covers next to him, gripping his shirt, and Hajime-kun was on top of the comforter on her side, pressed against his little brother, an open book in his hand, like he’d fallen asleep while reading.

They were all practically one pile and it was quite possibly one of the most precious things she’d ever seen in her life. She got her phone out to take a picture and moved closer so she wouldn’t have to zoom in. Oh, she was definitely sending this to Uo-chan.

“Don’t,” Kyo-kun grunted.

She pouted. “Oh, you’re awake?”

“Have been since you walked in.”

She knew he was always very in tune with her, but she never thought that extended to her just entering a room. She almost felt bad about waking him.

“Right.” She kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry for disturbing you then.”

She made to leave, but felt a yank on her arm as she fell onto the bed, her husband’s face now in front of her, looking tired but amused.

“Nah, you’re not going anywhere.”  

“Kyo-kun,” she huffed, “It’s Sunday.” Sunday was normally the day she caught up on her chores.

And he knew this and was being smug.

“Should’ve thought about that before coming in here.” His grip tightened. “Now you’re stuck with us.”

She sighed in defeat. She supposed there were worse ways to spend a Sunday than in her husband’s arms, surrounded by her family.

The chores could wait a couple hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kyo blinked his eyes open, wincing a little at how bright it was. Why is it so hot? He was sweating. And his chest felt like there was a weight on it. His vision cleared and he saw his daughter on top of him, Tohru against his side, Kazuya and Hajime on the other side. He was completely trapped. He couldn’t get up even if he wanted to.

He saw the sun peeking in through the window. It had stopped raining at some point, but that was fine.

He wasn’t dealing with it alone anymore, holed up in his room and miserable. Now he was surrounded by the people he loved the most, his entire world.

It could rain forever for all he cared.

He was content.

[trashlie]

!!! omg yes yes i’d love for you to write more about that!!!! and! the first post from you i saw about kousuke and how he subverts the trope of the ml??? it was SO GOOD!! and you got another ask that mentioned how people saw yeonggi as the happy go lucky character! it reminded me of this ask which is very long i sent to @somebody-909 😭 i was just gushingggg about secondary male leads bc i for some reason always end up rooting for them and how yeonggi has the vibes even though he’s a main character 😩 and also we talked about other characters like kyo but i forgot that tohru also had dealt with abuse from her own family so in the end it’s like. it’s a story about two survivors finding happiness etc etc 😔🥺 idk idk all of you guys who make analysis are so cool

I hope you don't mind me answering these two asks separately, because I just know if I didn't I would miss too many things, haha!

I'm not sure if I could write a very good analysis of Yeonggi subverting the secondlead trope, but I sure could try! I feel like it's a little more biased because I DO ship Stalkyoo, but I think I can try to work with it! I also remember seeing that ask (I was going through their blog the other day) and I really enjoyed it! Like you, I tend to favor secondary leads, which I think is also because I have a tendency to love the act of yearning and pining lmao and man second leads sure do pine a lot, right? Also because second leads often (though mercifully not always) have a tendency to hesitate and miss their timing or just plain don't act on their feelings, and it creates a big sense of what could have been, and I think when you are someone who favors underdogs, you really fall into that "what could have been" thing, right?

(I think there's also a conversation to be had about first vs second leads and traits of masculinity, but I am admittedly not well-versed enough to do this, but some general food for thought is: often in the case where I favored a first to a second lead, it's because the first lead evoked a lot of traits of masculinity that I don't care for? Jealousy, possessiveness, being cold and not showing their emotions esp compared to a second lead who was often portrayed as gentle with his heart on his sleeve, kind. In a lot of these cases, the second lead is often not favored by the majority of the audience because "he just feels like a friend" aka he lacks the masculine traits people think a man should have~ or blah blah blah. I wonder if this is still a prevalent thing these days? I tend to avoid love triangles so I'm not sure, but, it's something I would like to throw in if I talk about Nol subervting the second lead trope aaahhhhh now I'm just on a whole other tangent lmao)

Here's an embarrassing admission: in the past, when I was young, back in like, 2007 in my first year of college and I started reading Fruits Basket and I watched the original anime lmaooooo I actually really favored Yukki, because I'm a gross sucker for gentle prince types lmaoooo but as I've gotten older, being able to understand what made Kyo and Tohru work so well was really satisfying!

I've become really enamored with the idea of Nol and Shinae as mirrors to each other, able to help each other identify and work on the parts of them where they are weaker or struggle, and the idea of these two people coming from uneasy lives and finding comfort in the sanctuary they create together? WHOLESOME. I live for that shit. (I don't ever want it to read though like I want Shinae to "fix" Nol or anything like that - he has a lot of work to put himself, just like she has for herself, but I like the idea that as they become people who heal themselves, they help each other heal, too, in the ways that they reflect each other, if that makes sense?) Survivors creating their own sense of home, out of the mess that they've endured is.... AAHHHHHH satisfying! There's something so strong about survival, let alone finding comfort in the wreckage of all that tried to destroy you, isn't it? Shinae has been dealt a bad hand in life, lacked opportunities others had, was judged mercilessly without anyone getting to know her; the idea of her becoming a person who can face the world without feeling like she's ill-fit, without feeling like she's out of place, because she's finally learned her value? Hhhhhh I love it! And likewise, Nol being able to face his awful family knowing that he is more than they ever saw in him, that he was never the villain he was made to believe? PLS my heart!!!!!!!!

(You know, my first time I read ILY, before I realized it was deeper than the surface and than I gave it credit for, I was also convinced Nol was a second lead interest, simply based on the fact that so often characters like Kousuke are coded the first lead and that characters like Nol are there to make us sad lmao. I think that's what made writing the Kousuke analysis so easy for me! At one point I decided to a read where I did not view anything through a romantic lens - not even things like the hospital balcony scene or the wac hand holding - to try to judge just what else could be going on under the surface, that's when I started to realize that a lot of scenes are kind of kind of a couple things superimposed over each other. Kousuke and Nol look like they're competing for Shinae's favor when they each remove their jackets, but what does it REALLY mean. Ironically enough, reading without a romantic lens made me favor Nol and Stalkyoo EVEN MORE lmao because I was finally able to pay attention to the nuanced depth and character development, and the way their relationship progressed as she came to trust him and their friendship solidified really made the framework feel obvious. But the point is: like you I tend to favor second leads and I was already favoring Nol on the principle that he's so sad and I just wanted to see it all turn around for him for once lmaooooo)

[yuusa]

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝟐𝟒

𝐃𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐕𝐮

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟑𝟎𝟕𝟗

𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝟐𝟒:

You absentmindedly searched through the bookstore, your brain was still feeling fuzzy after the events of yesterday. There were many unexplained things that you desperately needed the answers to. You sighed as you pressed your forehead against the wooden shelves, the smell of books being the only thing you could notice. In your hands was a stack of books regarding different family histories as well as philosophical interpretations of the Chinese Zodiac. There weren't many people at the store at this time which made it easier for you to stand around and stare off into space. People came in and out, oftentimes already knowing what kind of books they wanted to buy. 

You shifted your head slightly to notice a young woman in a green kimono, her light brown hair glistening underneath the store light bulbs. She looks to be only in her early twenties and going through a section of fruits. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she was biting her lip as she continued to pick through the books. You felt that if you looked hard enough, you could see that she was struggling to find the perfect book to buy. You slowly took a deep breath, carrying your books in your arms before walking towards her. 

"Do you need help finding out what books to buy?" You asked, shifting the weight of the books by lifting your leg for it to be placed onto your thigh, "you've been staring at this section for a while."

"O-Oh I'm sorry for bothering you!" She hurriedly bowed several times in a row, a string of apologies spilling from her mouth like an overflowing faucet that you left on, "someone like me shouldn't be here right?! I'm sorry!" 

You sweatdropped, for someone who originally looked quite cool-headed from afar, talking to her made you stressed out. She apologized so many times it was almost reminiscent of when Tohru sits next to you whenever she drops her things. 

"You don't need to apologize for being here. . . It's a public bookstore. . ." You corrected, watching as she continued to panic even further, clutching her hair as she nearly screamed her head off at the store, the books she carried in her hands falling to the ground which made everyone around the two of you strange looks.

"I'm sorry!" She paused for a few seconds to register the fact that she already apologized several times, she peered up at you, your intimidating (e/c) staring down at her with a sharpened gaze. She almost wanted the world to swallow her up at that very moment when she noticed your pretty face that looks as if you were glaring at her. 

"Er. . . Do I look that scary to you. . . ?" You stared at her with a slightly offended expression, your eyes dolefully turning to the side while frowning. 

"N-No I'm sorry if I offended you! I should leave!" She held onto her cheeks while staring at the floor in horror. 

You internally sighed before crouching down, setting down your own stacks of books, and picking her's up. All of them were simply descriptions and studies of different fruits, you wondered if she was trying to study agriculture or some sort of nature-related topic for school. 

"Can you just take a couple of deep breaths for me, miss? You're going to hyperventilate if you keep panicking." You neatly stacked them into your arms as she placed her hand over her chest, slowly inhaling and exhaling through her nose before regaining her sense of calm. 

"T-Thank you," you handed her back her books as she smiled, "I'm sorry for inconveniencing you." 

"It's fine. . . You really don't need to apologize all the time, you're going to make others stressed out if you keep doing it." You said, picking up your stack of literature off of the ground and held it close to your chest, "you seem really pale. . . I suggest that you should probably take some breathing exercises so you don't pass out from a lack of oxygen." Although it was supposed to be a teasing remark, she took it to the literal sense.

"A-Ah yes I will!" She quickly began to breathe in and out, her expression still panicked as she tried to calm herself. 

"Well. . . I'm saying to do it whenever you feel stressed, it's a lot more effective if you do it slowly." You slowly inhaled, holding in your breath for only a few seconds before slowly exhaling, "just like this, it should help you focus." 

You watched as she repeated your movements, breathing inwards through her mouth and exhaling for a longer period from her nose. It seems as if her posture was getting much better and her shoulders relaxed after continuously completing the task. You learned this practice when your track instructor suggested it towards stressed students who came into class from a recent test. You were surprised to see that it was actually quite effective. 

"Are you interested in agriculture?" You pointed towards her books. 

"O-Oh, no. . . I was going to gift these fruit books to my family members since I don't know what kind of fruits he likes." She fiddled with the edges of her long-sleeved kimono, the green color being bright while the flowery patterns decorated the bottom half of the fabric. 

"I see. . . I guess that is a good gift." Her eyes shined at your comment.

"R-Really?! You think so?" 

"Y-Yes. . ." Your voice almost came out as questionable as you didn't know how you were supposed to react, "if you don't mind. . . Who are you visiting?"

"Oh, I'm visiting Shigure-niisan!" She smiled. You turned your head away from her with a disgusted look, out of all people this woman could visit, it had to be the nearby pervert that lived with Tohru and two other boys. You felt bad for this poor woman. 

"D-Did I say something wrong?!" She panicked.

You deadpanned, "not really."

"I-I'll leave right now! I'm sorry!" She bowed several times in a row before running towards the cashier, throwing the books down and trying to pay for them quickly.

You pressed your lips together, wondering if you had offended her greatly by your reaction. It wasn't that you hated Shigure per se. Lately, there was something off about him that you couldn't put your finger on. It was as if he was closely watching you whenever you went to the Sohma household to deliver food for them. You wanted to shake off this feeling as paranoia but you didn't know much about the family in the first place. You stared down at the stack of books in your hand and quietly walked towards the counter, seeing that the mysterious woman had already left the store in a rush. 

Were you that hard to talk to? She looked so afraid of you that it made you concerned about your own appearance. You never really had this sort of encounter when it came to meeting Machi, but perhaps she simply didn't want to say it to your face that you were a scary person. You sort of felt conflicted on the inside. You dolefully stared at the books that were being scanned, the woman at the counter smiling at you while you returned hers with a forced one.

Maybe you just weren’t cut out for these types of things. . . You bowed down in front of the store woman and left the store with the bag of books. You were beginning to fear that whatever Akito had said to you was entirely true. There was a part of you that wanted to deny his suggestions, but a small piece refuses to cooperate. 

Were you truly living for the sake of revenge or were you holding onto a burden that you couldn’t keep much longer? You didn’t know if you hated them or if you felt bad for your own existence. Could you truly blame them for your own shortcomings? You were frustrated, deeply frustrated at your mistreatment, but in a way, you thought that you deserved it. Perhaps if you were born looking more like the daughter they hoped, you could make them happy. It’s a shame that you turned out different. 

Then again, you were disappointed with them as well. Disappointed at their lack of care and attention towards you that other parents had. Something that was such a simple concept that flew over their heads like the migrating birds to the south. 

You felt your fists tighten around the strings of your paper shopping bag, if you were to even contact Akito to seek out his assistance, you were worried about Yuki’s reaction. Many things could go wrong by having them both meet up at the same time as you. However, there were also a lot of things that you feared Yuki would find out. Whether it be your family’s name, the gravestone, or your dreams, everything might come crashing down on you if he ever were to see those broken parts. 

If he knew any of those, you would want to disappear from the world. 

You stared off into the abyss of the crowd, watching as they scatter and form groups within each other. Some were students who recently left school, parents with their young children, or the elderly with their canes.  You checked the time from your phone, seeing that time was getting closer to your shift. You took several quiet steps towards your workplace, the area not being quite far from the location of the bookstore. Although the itching feeling that Akito may show up again was at the back of your mind, it was interrupted by a young woman slamming into you. 

You gasped as you dropped your books, the edges becoming bent and dirty from the concrete ground. The short-haired woman quickly got up to her feet, bowing down several times in a row you almost thought her back would snap. She looked down at your form that was starting to pick up your books, a frown evident on your face while your (e/c) eyes looked dully at her. 

“I’m so sorry!” She apologized, feeling like her entire day was going completely south ever since she took up the editing job. Not only did her writer not finish the manuscript that was due today, but she also bumped into a gorgeous (h/c) girl and damaged her books. She could feel her soul slip out of her body as you stood up, placing all your books back into a neat stack into the bag. 

“It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize so much.” You waved a hand to dismiss many of the apologies that kept flowing out of her mouth. This was giving you a sense of deja vu, this woman and the one at the bookstore had very similar personalities. 

“I’m so sorry! My writer is being a huge idiot!” She continued to bow down until you reached out to her shoulder, halting her movements completely. 

“L-Look it’s fine, please stop bowing so much. Are you okay?” You watched as she clutched onto her head as she screamed at the watch wrapped around her wrist. You sighed before pulling back several strands of your hair from your face and grabbed onto her wrist, dragging her into your workplace for only a few minutes. 

Your hands were extremely warm to the touch, she noted. It was a strange contrast to your outer appearance which looked very cold and distant. Your (h/c) bounced slightly with every step while you carefully sat her down at an empty table. Shimada gave you a strange look as she wiped down tables but you curtly ignored her. 

“Would you like a drink? A hot one should soothe your nerves down.” You took out a hair tie snd pulled your hair back, “if you’re worried about paying don’t mind it. You look like you’re having a difficult day.” 

Without going to your locker to get changed, you set your books down on the floor behind the counter and took down one of the porcelain cups from the shelf. You began to boil the water while the woman fiddled with her bag, staring up at the menu. 

“A-Ah the coffee sounds nice.” She stuttered, pointing at the product above you. 

“Sure.” You began to grind the coffee beans while the water boiled. 

She admired the length and softness of your (h/c), wondering how such a feminine woman could exist in front of her very eyes. She toyed with the edges of her short hair, feeling inferior to you whose appearance seemed very close to a model. Your (s/c) skin was soft and warm, while your rosy pink lips complemented your look. You wore minimum makeup to conceal the fading, dark circles underneath your eyes. 

You were quiet and soft-spoken, your voice was smooth while hers was coarse from screaming. You didn’t overreact to the littlest things, even when you accidentally touched the hot kettle that was pouring water into the cup. You were professional in your workplace. She was envious of your personality and kindness, being around you made her feel as if she was the one burdening you. 

You returned to her figure and placed the teacup in front of her, the dark, rich color of the coffee had white steam emitting from its warm body while the scent traveled through the air. Although it seemed like a simple drink when she placed the coffee up to her lips for a sip her body felt much warmer and comfortable, her shoulders relaxing as she let out a deep sigh. She could feel the energy she lost while running to the stores being regained after one sip.

“T-Thank you for the coffee, you didn’t have to do this.” She said, feeling embarrassed in her current situation. One moment she was coming to her writer’s house for the manuscript, then to Takoyaki Guy, and now she is sitting in front of what looks to be a model at a cafe. 

“It’s okay, I was starting to feel worried about you when you talked about your writer. It must be stressful.” You said, sitting on the chair that was placed in front of you. 

“Well, yes. He never seems to finish his work on time and constantly makes me run errands for him only for it to just be a joke!” She comedically cried tears while drinking her coffee, “I come over to his house to pick up the manuscript but he is never there!” 

“That must be very hard, he sounds very childish.” You commented, watching as she kept drinking the coffee after every sentence. 

“Right?!” She wiped away the tears at the corners of her eyes, “I’m starting to feel like I’m not good enough for this job.” 

Before she could finish the last of her coffee, your voice interrupted her train of thought, “why?” 

“B-Because! I overreact on a lot of things. . . I worry so much and it causes everyone else a burden.” She explained, her hands trembling as she held onto the cup, “I don’t think I’ll be a good editor with this kind of attitude. . . I’m still inexperienced as well.” 

“. . . I think you’re doing fine.” You bluntly replied, “if your writer is as childish as you say he is, could you blame yourself for the way you feel? Not everyone can be good at their job without practice.” 

“B-But you look so young working here!” She retorted. 

“I worked here since I was a middle schooler. I wasn’t born to serve a cafe,” you smiled at her, “I struggled in my first few years but eventually learned to distance myself from worrying too much about it.” 

“You shouldn’t feel like you’re in the wrong for something you can’t control.” Her eyes widened at your comments and she nearly burst into tears. “A-Ah sorry, did I offend you?”

"No. . . I was just thinking about how right you are." She responded, placing down her cup back onto the saucer, "can I know your name? Could we be friends? Is that okay?" 

Your fingers twitched slightly, what exactly was this feeling of lightheartedness? You almost felt as if you were in some sort of dream. You were still trying to shake off your worries about your previous thoughts. For some reason, it wouldn't leave your head despite how many times you tried thinking of something else. Was your appearance that bad that others felt that they shouldn't be around you? It seemed that way with the other woman who screamed in horror. Although you would like to talk to someone about this sort of feeling, you couldn't bear to think about putting your burdens on someone else. 

"Sure." You replied, scratching the edge of your cheek awkwardly, "are you sure you would like to be friends with someone like me?" You quickly bowed in front of her for politeness, "a-ah I'm (L/n) (Y/n), a student at Kaibara Municipal High School." 

"E-Eh? Of course! You're so pretty!" She grabbed onto your (s/c) hands, "c-could you tell me how you do your skincare routine?! You can call me Mitsuru or Mitchan!" 

"W-Water. . . ?" You responded, this was reminding you way too much about your first encounter with Uotani and Hanajima at your cafe, you sent her an awkward smile while looking up at the clock that was hung up on the wall, "you should probably get going back to your writer about now, but you are always welcome to come back here at the cafe." 

Mitsuru turned her head in the direction you were looking at, noticing that she spent most of her time at the cafe already and that her writer must have gotten home by now. She internally screamed knowing that with every minute she spent she might be wasting precious time editing the manuscript.

"R-Really?! Then I'll come by more often! Thank you for everything!" She quickly gathered up her bag and ran out the door, most likely to run back to the place she originally came to visit. You silently waved at her from inside the cafe before sighing. 

You were really starting to doubt if you would be able to keep up with everything while trying to be good friends with everyone. You were starting to feel even more distant from the people around you. If what Akito is saying is true. . . There must be a way to cure this curse you were holding deep within your body.

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 19 + 20 RECAP

Hello!! Decided to pair my recap of episode 19 and 20 together since they both kinda flow into each other and explore the same message in different ways through Yuki and Rin. It’s a really nice and interesting flow of story!

Let’s get into it!

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- Ok, let me get my Shigure hatred out of the way cos I really like some of the stuff he says later. But the fact that he even ATTEMPTED to try and joke about him and Rin having a relationship after we just had that really dodgy scene earlier in the season with him and Rin in his office makes me wanna kick him in the teeth. Anyways...

all the scenes that take place on these stairs are always stunning and i just wanted to show some appreciation of that first. ✨

I love this scene between Hatori and Shigure (I love most scenes between them tbh). I’m beginning to understand that Shigure is for sure the type who believes in ‘using the lesser evils to kill the greater evil’. And, I guess my view of Shigure gets a lot more complicated when I see him through that lens... 

But, I do secretly love very deep down in my soul when Shigure says stuff like this and kinda acts like a trickster God. I have a weakness for trickster Gods.

- Rin feeling both intensely protective about the kind people in her life vs wanting to push them away is actually very reminiscent of our favourite cat, Kyo! Gave me a lot of reminders of this scene:

That uncomfortableness with vulnerability and kindness runs strong with these zodiac kids. It’s sad.

Everyone eventually folds in to Tohru. God tier? (I’m still working on my Tohru is an empathetic God essay)

Aii-ya...

But again, I appreciate how this thought follows through to a resolution and message of ‘needing people’ at the end of episode 20. I’ll get to that later.

- Every time. I love how these moments of Tohru supporting the zodiac are always highlighted by being in the darkness of the night (or rain) to the brightness of the dawn (or clear skies). Poetic. Tohru is a god.

Shigure’s so on point in this episode. I know he’s essentially ‘seed planting’ but... I... might just give him the title of Best Boi for this episode? Yeah... why not 😅

I. LOVE. KIMI. SOOO MUCH. 😂 Her love for chaos is amazing and I love her! Again! Trickster Gods!!! <3 

I CAN’T. Kakeru bickering with Yuki like a scorned lover. Haru essentially being happy for Yuki and playing along (or maybe he was being fully serious, he would). Kakeru being ridiculous and dramatic. It’s alllll gooood!

- The whole scene with Shigure, Kyo, Yuki and Tohru at dinner with the dessert felt all so normal and domestic! It was great, we haven’t had many ‘regular’ scenes since season 1 and it brought me back a little (Also, Tohru noticing how Kyo has been paying more attention to her in the most Tohru of ways was cute as well 👀)

She did look really cute!!! Of course, Rin’s getting Outfit Appreciation cos of course. That’s it. 4 stars.

I love how this is worded and it’s the perfect description for a toxic family setting, in all situations (like... even without the whole cursed to turn into animals thing). Furuba gets so uncomfortably personal sometimes! And again, mixing this with Yuki’s lesson at the end of episode 20 leads to an interesting conclusion... which I wonder if people would be offended by it... but I’ll get to that later.

Lol, as much as I really appreciated that someone had finally asked Tohru the ‘real question’ of why she’s working so hard to break the curse anyway. Rin’s emotional intelligence and empathy to back down from pressing her about it was really lovely.

In general, I really love that none of the characters are just archetypes. Rin could’ve been written like the bad-ass one with an attitude and an awful past but she also ends up being so emotionally intelligent and caring and loving! SO much! 

Also, showing that love can have many unexpected ways of being displayed and expressed. Something which is an ongoing conversation throughout this series...

- The whole scene of Tohru being in bed but dreaming that she was back in her old apartment with her Mum was painfully amazing and definitely relatable. It’s always so haunting when dreams like that happen in general and the look on Tohru’s face at the end when she opens the door just added to it:

Chilling!

Especially if you find a parallel between Tohru’s desperation to be together with her mother to Akito’s desperation to be together with the zodiac...

Tohru is a god

EPISODE 20!!

- Tohru continuing to be a worried mother about Yuki is sweet but also... it’s like... ‘he’ll be okayyyy, Tohru!’ Haha but it’s okay, I think that it’s shown towards the end of this episode that this is kinda the nature of their relationship and Tohru was reassured that Yuki will be ok

Ah, Yuki! How cool of you!!! <3 

(Although the original sub version of this was hilarious with the sudden drop in his voice 😂)

- Goddamn it, Kakeru! Between him throwing the papers and him knocking the plants over the other episode, I’m beginning to think this is an impulse for him as well... 🤨

Haha, turns out I was right!

It’s really great how much Kakeru and Yuki’s relationship has grown to where they can trust each other with secrets or private stuff while they’re both separately dealing with their own lives. It’s just really nice :)

Said so well. Yuki gets Best Boi of this episode, of course.

But seriously, this is a really great display of having to accept trauma to therefore move on. Of course, what Yuki, Kakeru and Rin’s parents do is cruel and wrong in so many ways, but you can’t rely on the option that they’ll eventually get better because so many times that’s not the case.

Yuki specifically has come to a result of him accepting his fate of having these shitty people in his life through family ties but is also adapting the way he can move on personally and grow up despite his shitty circumstances. I said this might be controversial to say as it’s not on the victim who should have to change and be better, it’s the abuser. And there’s a chance someone could read this scene and feel like the show is saying otherwise but I also think there’s a realness to having difficult family members that you may have to be tied to through circumstances.

In conclusion, I’m not saying it’s on the victim of a situation to have to adapt to their situation, that shouldn’t be so. But, at this point, if any of these characters want to grow and develop and just live, they unfortunately need to fight for it. They can’t rely on their abusers somehow becoming better.

- Yuki’s growth is highlighted so much throughout this whole episode but I think I love the scene with his mother the most and showing that while Yuki has grown and no longer even acknowledges his mother as a threat anymore that his mother as well is growing and trying (again, in her own way). Also, Yuki’s awkward face remembering that moment was adorable :3

Aha! <3

- Lol I low-key wanna see Tohru as an evil step-sister as much as I wanna see Hana and Kyo pairing up to be Cinderella and the Prince just to see how chaotic it’d be 

- The closet scene with the black paint really could’ve gone worse if Yuki was still the same as he was in season 1! While Yuki still had an anxious reaction to the situation which was more than understandable (as Kakeru said <3), I love that he’s in a place now where he can almost pick himself up now, be honest about his feelings and he has other people around to go to now for help! In different friendship circles! Wow.

- Machi knocking down the door for him in a silent mutual acknowledgement is so weirdly... gentle.

A MOTHER!!!

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I really like how the message interwove over two episodes in different contexts. And I hope I was clear in explaining how I saw how the messages came through in different perspectives.

Fruits Basket, coming through with the painful reality! 🥲

(Sorry for the weird ending) See you sooon!!

[paper-chain-queen]

String Of Fate 3

Kyo Sohma X FReader

Soulmate AU

Words: 6,000+

Rating: Teen

.

.

One month, that’s how long it had been since you moved to Japan.......it felt longer than that...  

You and Kyo had kept to the agreement, pretending the other doesn’t exist.  

It sucked.  

You felt like you must have caught some sort of virus or something because you always felt like you had a chill even though it was pretty warm outside, and you just had no appetite. Your family had asked what was wrong multiple times, but you insisted that you were just trying to adjust to your new life.  

It wasn’t a complete lie  

And what’s worse is that you kept staring at the red string and slightly following it to Kyo’s pinkie. You couldn’t do this anymore. You felt like you could shatter at any moment.    

I need space. Even catching a glance of him hurts.  

You made a note to visit the main office at the end of the day, there was no way you were going to spend the rest of the school year in the same class as Kyo Sohma. You were barely able to pay attention in class, and your notes were a mess.  

Unfortunately, everyone in the class could feel the tension would, and it made you feel worse, you didn’t want to bother people with your problems. You also didn’t want the embarrassment of having them know about you and Kyo.  

“I’m home....”  

“Welcome home, honey. Look what I picked up; there was a sale at the boutique.” Your mother shoved a bag of various pastel nail polish colours, you picked out a pretty orange colour and then put it back.  

“Thank Mom...”  

“Maybe we could paint our nails together?”  

“Sure, I’m just really tired right now, I’m gonna lay down, maybe after dinner?”  You excused yourself and disappeared into your small bedroom, not being heard from for the rest of the night.

.  

.  

New day, same old, same old.  

Kyo wasn’t feeling all that well, his body felt like it was being weighed down by stones and he couldn’t sleep. He was already known for being fun to tease, but his temper had shifted. Kyo had become slightly more aggressive, losing his temper over the smallest of things and had even had detention over snapping a broom in half.  

Tohru watched her friends with worry, something had happened between the two, but they kept denying. (Y/N) insisted it was nothing while Kyo told her it was none of her business. That comment had caused Yuki to kick him clear across the room, but Kyo hadn’t backed down, perfectly happy to take out his frustration in a fight.    

The kind girl felt at a loss with the orange-haired boy, the more she tried to help, the more he snapped. This divide had caused her to kind of remove herself from the situation but also spent more time (Y/N).    

She introduced the new girl to Momiji and Hatsuharu, who were very welcoming to her, and they’d even spent a lot of lunches together. Unfortunately, this somehow led to a fight between Kyo and Hatsuharu and ‘black’ Haru came out. It was a mess, and it had made (Y/N) keep her distance from the Sohma family in general.  

It was a shame because Tohru found (Y/N) to be a kind and outgoing girl who was open to all the new things Tohru and her friend showed her. She was so lovely and just had an overall kind energy, plus she was pretty funny. But something was wrong. Even Tohru could see her new friend had dropped the weight in the few weeks she had known her, and it caused her to worry.    

“SO what’s carrot top’s issue anyway? Did you do something to piss him off?” Uo asked as the girls finished up lunch around Tohru’s desk. Uo was gesturing to the boy who was glaring daggers at them over the top of the comic book he was reading while Tohru was trying to share her lunch with (Y/N).  

She insisted she had a big breakfast and said she wasn’t hungry.  

In response to Uo’s question, which had been asked before, (Y/N) said she had never met Kyo before, and his attitude was just as much a shock to her that it was to them.  

“Maybe I remind him of someone he hates.” (y/n) just shrugged as she sipped her water.  

“I believe it might have to do with a strin-” Hana started to say but was interrupted by (Y/N).  

“Anybody want anything from the vending machine?!?! Anything? Anything at all? My treat!” (Y/N) leapt up, and Tohru insisted she was fine while Uo and Hana told the new student what they wanted.  

“Poor thing..” Hana muttered as the girls watched (Y/N) scurry out of the room.  

“What do you mean, Hana-Chan?” Tohru asked, turning her attention to her friend.  

“It’s not mine to tell... but she’s hurting. Fate is cruel, and her waves have become... empty and cold.” Tohru felt that Hana knew more than she was letting on but wasn’t sure if it was her place to ask. But if there was one thing she knew, it was that Hana’s wave reports were never false.  

If Hana said that (y/n) was in pain, then Tohru felt there had to be something. Anything.  

(Y/n) wasn’t the only one who needed help.  

Tohru had noticed Kyo staring at (Y/N) these past weeks... The brunette had not been paying attention in class like she should and instead had spent her time looking back and forth between her new friend and Kyo. She noticed how Kyo would stare at her, but it... Tohru found it hard to explain, but there seemed to be a deep sadness in his eyes. But there was also longing, and then he would catch Tohru staring and glare before hiding his face.  

Kyo was hurting too. But why?  

“Hey! Kyon! You’re not being very subtle, stop acting like a kindergartner, if you have a crush or something, tell her rather than be a bully.” Uo scolded him, not impressed with how he was treating the newest girl to her crew.  

“Wha- I Do not! Fuck off.” The boy snapped at the blonde girl, and to Uo, those were fighting words.    

The two bickered back and forth, but Tohru didn’t intervene, she was trying to think of a plan. There just had to be some sort of misunderstanding. And she also had to make sure (y/n) ate something with her own eyes.  

“Ah! I know!” Tohru clapped her hands, happy with her idea. It was simple, but she was sure it would help.  

The door slid open, and there stood (Y/N) and Yuki with drinks from the vending machine in hand. (Y/N) stared at Uo and Kyo, who were still yelling at each other, and she raised an eyebrow.  

“Soo... I’m not the only one he doesn’t get along with.” (Y/N) tried to joke as she strained a smile. Yuki shook his head at the comment and gave her his own smile, hoping to make the new student feel a little more comfortable.  

“He’s an idiot (L/N)-San, like I said, just ignore him.” Yuki comforted (Y/N), he even laid a hand on her shoulder, and she tried to smile back.  

Kyo’s orange eyes snapped to the two in the doorway and seeing the two together, so close just... he hated it.  

“What did you say, ya damn rat!” Kyo yelled and approached the two, and his angry demeanour made (Y/N) hide slightly behind Yuki, clearly scared of Kyo and not wanting to have any more of his wrath on her.  

There was only so much a person could take and (y/n) was at her tipping point.  

This time, it was Kyo’s heart that felt like it cracked. He stared at her, she was looking at him, sorrow filled her eyes. She hadn’t looked like the first time she saw. No. Her eyes had been beaming with joy and hope, a smile on her face the first time she realized who he was.  

Now.. Of course, she was looking at him differently. He had done nothing but snap at her and push her away, and he got what he wanted. (y/n) had been ignoring him and leaving him alone.  

So why was he so pissed off?  

He grabbed Yuki by his tie and pulled him forward. For some reason, he was more pissed off than usual.  

“Stay away from her.” Kyo snarled at his rival. Yuki would never admit it, but this threat was different somehow, and he felt a small twinge of fear towards Kyo.  

The orange-haired boy looked again at (Y/N), who now standing with the girls, that damn broken-hearted look in her eyes.  

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  

He pushed Yuki away and stormed off. He had enough. Kyo couldn’t look at that face anymore.  

Kyo ran to the only one he felt would hear him out, taking off his shoes as he entered the Dojo.  

Maybe Shishou could tell him what to do.  

“Kyo, you’re here early. Half-day at school?” His father figure asked as moved some equipment around, Kyo quickly jumped in to take the stuff from his hands.  

“Kind of.”  

“We can spar before everyone shows up, are you up for it?”  

“Sure...”  

Kazuma tilted his head, Kyo was usually always so fired up for training, but he had noticed that something was off these past few weeks. His energy had fallen as if it been raining, but the skies were clear.  

The orange-haired boy disappeared to the changing rooms, and Kazuma waited, all while wondering what was up with the boy.    

It didn’t take long for the karate master to land a hit on Kyo, and since he wasn’t paying attention or kept himself grounded, he went flying into a wall, crashing into some training equipment.  

“Kyo!” Kazuma rushed forward to check on him, not realizing that whatever was bothering had left him this bad.  

“It hurts...”  

“Tell me where it hurts.”  

Surprisingly, the teenager clutched the fabric around his chest.  

“I thought- I thought I was doing the right thing... but it hurts...and I..” Kyo looked at the red thread around his finger.  

Was she hurting like this? He had been watching her and couldn’t but notice that it looked like she had lost weight, and her smile was beginning to dim.  

Am I causing her more pain?  

The karate master looked at Kyo’s eye line, and he was staring at fate’s string once more. Through the years, Kazuma had noticed Kyo looking at the string often when he was younger, they used to talk about it when he was a child. But as he got older, the topic made him angry and would often shut down when it was brought up. In fact, it had been years since Kazuma caught Kyo looked at his pinkie.    

“Kyo? Is this about... Your soul mate?” Kazuma ventured.  

Kyo gritted his teeth and nodded.  

“So you found them?”  

“.... I tried to do the right thing.” Kyo said so quietly that Kazuma barely caught it.  

“Which was?”  

“I pushed her away...” He admitted, and Kazuma knew Kyo well and envisioned that his adopted son had probably lost his temper on her or something of that likeness.  

Kazuma let out a sigh and lightly grabbed the boy’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.  

“Let’s talk over some tea.” He suggested and helped Kyo to his feet, and the boy mindlessly followed Kazuma to the kitchen space in the Dojo.  

“Tell me about her?” Kazuma asked as he put on the kettle, which was still hot from someone previously using it.  

The air was silent for a bit, the kettle softly whistling till Kazuma took it off the heat and poured the hot water into a pot.  

Kyo didn’t speak till Kazuma joined him at the low table.  

“I don’t know much...” Kyo admitted, feeling guilty that he knew so little, and yet you only sat a few desks away.  

“Well tell me what you do know.”  

“She’s annoying....”  

Kazuma couldn’t help but chuckle because what else did he really expect from the boy.  

“And?”  

“She plays with her hair... always tucking it behind her ear and she has this silly cartoon bear on her backpack, plus she giggles at the teacher’s stupid cheesy jokes. And wears these stupidly cute strawberry earrings....” Kyo crossed his arms and started his rant. Kazuma had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep him from laughing.  

“She got the Yankee into something called Doja Cat, and now they listen to music together...And in math, she’s always sticking her tongue out when working on a problem it’s super weird.” The teenager huffed.  

“Sounds like you know her pretty well.” Kazuma pointed out as he poured Kyo a cup of tea and slid it over to him.  

While they hadn’t spoken in the last month, that didn’t stop Kyo from keeping an eye on her. Tohru was friends with (y/n), which made it easier to learn about her. He knew that she lived with her mother and her parents that she liked strawberries and cream, and was excited to go try a karaoke room.  

He knew that she was meant for him, even without looking at the string that connected them. Every time he looked at her, he could feel his heart leap, and the need to bury himself in her was always present, to completely lose himself in her eyes, her smile.  

“She’s way too nice and sweet. All these perverted boys in class keep trying to talk to her and she’s too dense to realize that they’re hitting on her and it just kills me...” Kyo admitted, glaring at the steaming cup of tea,  

“It kills you?”  

“Yeah because when she finally figures out that they’re hitting on her, she’ll probably go out with one of the bastards and then-”  

Kyo cut himself off as he really realized what could happen.  

He envisioned a boy asking HIS soul mate out, them going on cute dates and holding hands and eventually, she would be far from his reach, in the arms of another man while thinking Kyo hated her.  

No. No, no, no.  

Kyo thought he was going to be sick, and it felt like the red string was not only straining around his finger but his throat, and it felt agonizingly tight.  

It wasn’t fair, why give him a soul mate if he was cursed.  

“Kyo?”  

Fat tears ran down the boy’s face, but he was quick to cover his face with his hands, wishing he could run away and hide, but his father figure was quick to rush over and gave him a firm hug.  

Kyo’s mind was utterly and thoroughly haunted by her. He wanted to know how she was doing, if she was happy in her new home if (y/n) would like to go on walks in the forest, stargaze on the roof, what kind of food did she like. He wanted nothing more than to know her and love her.  

To be her’s. To love her and be loved.  

But it was too late. Kyo had made his bed, and he was prepared to sleep in it. Right?  

“I’m sure if you explained yourself a little. I’m certain she would let you into her life.”  

“You’ll always be my troublesome son, I’m sure the universe gifted you with some who would love you through it all.”  

“.. I’ve gotta go.”  

.  

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  

This day felt like it had on for eternity.    

Even if he hated you, you worried about him. Where had he gone? Was he okay?  

Kyo seemed to have quite the temper, and you only have seen him be a jerk, and your brain was telling you to stay as far away and not bother with him at all.  

But your heart? Well, it was just a mess and wanted nothing more than to look at him and touch him and-  

Get a hold of yourself... it’s not gonna happen.  

Letting out a heavy sigh, you packed up your bag and was about to say goodbye to Tohru, but she stopped you from leaving.  

“Umm (L/N)-Chan, would you like to come over for dinner?” The girl asked, a slightly nervous look on her face.  

Maybe she’s shy about having friends over?  

“I’ll text my Mom, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.” you answered, maybe it would help you take your mind off of your red string and the boy at the other end.  

“Oh, but first, I gotta stop by the principal’s office.” You mentioned, there was still one last thing that might help make this whole ‘rejected by your soul mate’ thing a little easier. And maybe it would make Kyo happy too.  

Two birds’ one stone, I guess.  

“Why?” She asked.  

“I’m gonna ask to transfer classes-”  

“What! No!” She cut you off.  

“Tohru I can’t go to class like this, he...” You didn’t finish the sentence, but Tohru knew who you were thinking  

I don’t want to make things hard for Kyo either...  

“Just.. One more day, please?” She asked as she held her hands together in a prayer position, her large brown eyes staring you down.  

“.....fine.” Luckily for Tohru, you were a sucker for puppy dog eyes.  

Not that another day is going to make that much of a difference.....  

.  

The walk was nice, but you were surprised to learn the Yuki was also walking with them; apparently, Tohru had started living with the Sohma’s due to some family... issues.    

Soon they came to a beautiful traditional home, secluded deep in the forest.  

Should I be worried?  

“We’re home!” Tohru called out as she removed her shoes, and Yuki closed the front door behind them.  

“Welcome home, you two. Oh and whose the cute girl? Yuki’s girlfriend.” An older handsome man wearing a kimono greeted you as you walked into the home.  

“Our new classmate, please don’t be weird, Shigure.” Yuki commented and then turned to you.  

“(L/n)-San, please don’t be afraid to tell me if Shigure acts out of line.” He insisted as he gave you one of his polite smiles, Shigure was very handsome, but every time he smiled, you found it a bit off-putting.  

“Yukiii! Why are you so mean, you’re painting an awful picture of me.” The adult whined as he wiggled in his seat, and you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the strange behaviour.  

“You’re doing a fine job yourself.” Yuki pointed out as he rolled his eyes.  

You held a hand to the man to shake his hand, trying to maybe not be too judgmental. You were sure he was just an eccentric being.  

He held your hand softly and laid a kiss on it.  

“Always honoured to meet one of Yuki’s classmates, especially the pretty ones.” He ‘flirted’ and you laughed nervously.  

You felt a strange sensation on your pinky and looked down to see it moving a bit.  

“Huh?”  

You heard a stomping sound throughout the house, and there was a rough opening of the porch sliding door.  

Bright, saffron eyes stared into yours, and you felt your heart skip a beat. Kyo was here, and he moved his eyes down to where your hand was being held in Shigure’s.  

“Get. Your Hands. Off of her.” He growled, and before Shigure could do as he was told, Kyo reached over and grabbed your forearm. You were ripped out of the man’s grasp and were dragging you out of the house and into the forest.... without your shoes.  

“Wait, hold on!” You tried to stop him but he continued to drag you through the forest.  

Did he hate you that much, that he was dragging you out of the house himself...    

He didn’t say anything to your protests, and finally... you just couldn’t do it and dug your heels into the ground and ripped your arm out of his grasp.  

“ENOUGH!!! I don’t want you to hate me... so I can switch school and you won’t have to see me anymore... I’ll leave you alone, I promise, but please... stop...” You didn’t want to avoid him but... if he was this adamant about not knowing you that he was skipping school... maybe this was the best thing you could do for him.  

All you had ever wanted was a soul mate, to meet them and just... have someone genuinely need you. To have what your childhood friend had found. The love that your grandparents had. You were envious of them because...Now that you knew who your soul mate was and how against you he was... you honestly wished you could cut your hand off and let him be free of you.  

Was I not worth loving?  

“...Dammit.. Don’t cry..” He begged as he tried to figure out what to say next.  

You kept bawling, despite his pleas not too until finally, he placed an awkward hand on top of your head, petting your head as he tried to put together a sentence.  

“It’s.. It’s not that I hate you... I don’t... it’s just-- unfair to you to have me... as a soul mate.”  

Your cries had turned to sniffles, which he used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away and then you gave a few hiccups.  

“Why?”  

“I- My family.. It’s complicated.”  

“How so?” You sniffled, the flow of tears getting slower.  

He looked like there was so much he had to say, but he clenched his fist and turned to the side, glaring at the grass. It was easy to see that he was struggling with something. But you didn’t want him to turn you away. Not again.  

“Please... I wanna know. I want to know you, more than anything. I’ve waited my whole life to meet you!” You tried to make him understand, and you reached out for his hand, and his beautiful orange eyes looked into yours.  

Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.  Kyo had the softest look in his eyes, you wanted to spend the rest of your life learning about him and looking upon those bright eyes.  

Then you remembered his reaction at first seeing you. How scared he was. A mixture of hurt and anger in his eyes. So maybe he really didn’t want you...  

But... if he didn’t want to... then maybe you had to let go...  

You released the hold on his hand, letting it slip out of your grasp, staring at the string on your pinkie. You had once looked at his with such hope. Now it seemed like a joke. Before your hand could fully slip from his, Kyo grabbed hold of you.  

“Don’t.... freak out, okay?” He asked, and before you could answer him, he had wrapped his arms around you. Enveloping you in a comforting smell of freshly cut grass and something else you couldn’t quite place.  

Home. That’s what it felt like. A place that you could always go to.  

But it disappeared before you could blink, and you were surrounded in a mist of orange smoke and that arms that were holding you were gone.  

Coughing a few times, you swatted at the smoke to make it dissipate while calling for Kyo.  

“I’m down here....” You heard his voices and looked down. The clothes Kyo had been wearing were strewn on the ground and sitting on top of them was an orange cat, watching you with familiar eyes.  

“...... hello?” You asked the cat, wondering where it had come from.  

The cat let out an irritated sigh.  

Wait? Can cats sigh?  

“Do NOT freak out.” The cat spoke.... with Kyo’s voice.  

A shrill scream filled the forest.  

You immediately knelt down on the ground, partly from your legs giving way and the other you wanted to get a closer look.  

“Ky--Kyo? Are you okay? I’m so sorry! What do I do? Do you need a doctor? I didn’t mean to!? I don’t know what - Are you alright? Are you hurt?” You were babbling and Kyo, the cat, hissed making you stop and then he took a breath.  

He explained his family story, the cursed members of the family and the Chinese Zodiac and how they transformed when they embraced the opposite sex. There seemed to be something else he wanted to say, but he kept it in.  

“THIS is why... I shouldn’t have a soul mate. So if you wanna walk away, then I get it..” He was staring at the ground, his cat ears flattened to his head.  

You were still trying to process all he had told you, but him looking so sad what was truly made your heart start to crack.    

You reached out, and you picked him and held him close to your chest, gently hugging him as you didn’t want to harm his small body.  

“I still don’t really understand... but I want to. I hope you don’t mind having me as a soul mate because... I know I don’t want to go another day without knowing you.” You told him, and you could have sworn you felt him purring, vibrating against your chest.  

“Plus. I love cats!” You gushed as you held him out and smiled at him. He made a ‘tch’ sound and looked to the side, but you could have sworn you saw a small blush on his cat face.  

You placed him down, and he did a little stretch.  

“Sooo... how do you turn ba-” Before you could finish your question, there was a loud popping sound and orange smoke filled the area.  

Standing before was Kyo back in his human form.... naked.  

Your eyes raked over his chest, he clearly worked out... and your eyes travelled down.  

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AWAY!” He yelled, his face red from embarrassment or anger, you weren’t sure.  

“SORRY!” you’re entire face bloomed red and you finally scrambled to turn around and covered your face with your hands; you could hear your own heartbeat pulsing rapidly and prayed that your soul mate couldn’t hear it.  

While Kyo changed back into his clothes, you tried to arrange your thoughts. You could now see why Kyo was apprehensive about meeting you.  

A family curse that keeps him from being able to hug you. How cruel...You imagined that he was also scared of you rejecting him for his curse. You weren’t the only one who had feared rejection.  

“Come on, pervert, let’s go back.” A small pat on your head brought you out your thoughts.  

“I-! I’m not a pervert!” You defended yourself as you looked up at him, and he rolled his eyes and smirked at your glowing red face.  

“Sure.”  

“I’m not!” And he just laughed, and your heart skipped a beat. He held out his hand to you, you tried to glare at him for laughing at you, but you imagined it came out pretty weak. Your hand took hold of his, and he pulled up from the ground.  

Is it silly to think about how perfect my hand fits in his?  

The walk back to the house was pretty quiet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. When you made it back, Tohru was eagerly waiting on the porch and gave a big smile at your return.  

“Oh? Kyo’s growing up so fast! His first girlfriend. I never knew you were into foreign girls, Kyo-Kyo.” Teased the dark-haired man you had been introduced to before but couldn’t remember his name.  

Kyo stood in front of you, blocking your view. Or maybe he was blocking the man’s view of you.  

“Keep your damn eyes away from her, shithead.” Kyo nearly growled, and then he turned to you.  

“If he does anything, you let me know, and I’ll kick his ass.” He mentioned as if it was nothing, and you could hear the man whining about Kyo being cruel.  

.  

.-.-.-.-.-.  

.  

Dinner had come and gone, it was surprising how easily the new friend just seemed to fit right in. Though Tohru made it easy to make the girl feel welcomed.

Kyo watched as the girl at the other end of his red string spoke excitedly with Tohru about the differences between her home and Japan while they drank tea.  

“So you found her, huh?” Shigure asked quietly as he cooled himself off with a blue paper fan.  

“It’s none of your business...”  

“I’m happy for you.”  

“Tch”  

Kyo still had a lot to think about. (Y/N) just thought that him changing into the cat was the whole curse, but there was still a lot she didn’t know.    

(Y/N) laughed at something Tohru said and then looked over at Kyo, smiling, and Kyo felt his heart skip a beat.  

“Did you really crash through the roof of Tohru’s room?” She asked, and Kyo groaned.  

“It was fine, though! No one got hurt!” Tohru insisted, now worrying that she had embarrassed Kyo in front of Y/N.  

“Alright! Enough. We’re outta here.” Kyo grabbed the girl before anyone else could tell her embarrassing stories and led her out of the house.  

She called out a goodbye to the household, thanking them for having her and thanking Tohru for the delicious dinner.  

“I’m walking you home.” Kyo told you as he slipped on his shoes.  

“I don’t want to trouble you or-”  

“It’s gonna be dark soon, okay?! But don’t get used to it.” Kyo told you as he again took you by the hand and led you off.  

“.... Do I even want to know?” Yuki asked as he let out a sigh, and Tohru just giggled.  

“Oh! I think this means that (y/n)-San might stay in our class!” Tohru remembered what (y/n) had said earlier after school, but hopefully she had changed her mind.  

“huh?”  

“ah nothing.” Tohru waved her hands frantically as she hoped no one would ask her anything more.  

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  

Kyo had let go of your hand when you excited the forested path, and you were slightly leading the way, neither one of you knew what to say, your relationship had taken a 180 in a matter of hours, and it still felt.... strange.  

As you walked, you looked over and noticed something the empty red swing set.  

“Oh can we? Please?” You were already dragging him over to the empty playground.  

“The swings?” Kyo asked as he crossed his arms and watched as you excitedly sat down and smiled up at him.  

“Yeah, Just for a bit, please?” You asked, and Kyo rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he was having some sort of internal argument before he let out a puff of air and sat down on the swing beside you.  

You pushed yourself off and started swinging back and forth.  

When you looked over, you noticed that Kyo was barely moving, just watching you.  

“Aw come on. You’ve been on the swings before, right?” You asked as you whizzed past him on the swing.  

He just kind of scoffed and looked down, muttering something that you couldn’t quite catch.  

You jumped from the swing when it was mid-air and made your way behind Kyo.  

“What- What the hell are you doing?” Kyo panicked as you put your hands on his back.  

“Just giving you a little push.” You promised and did just as you gently pushed him forward before stepping out the way.  

“And you pump your legs to keep it going.” You instructed.  

“I- I know how to swing!” Kyo yelled as he awkwardly and little off time swung his legs back and forth to make him go higher. He kind of looked like an angry child as he concentrated on the act at hand, and you couldn’t help but find it endearing to watch as he tried to find a rhythm.  

You only smiled and got back onto your own swing, pushing yourself off and enjoying the small rush of the wind flowing your hair back and forth.  

Soon you and Kyo were in perfect rhythm as you two enjoyed the swing set.  

“Have you ever jumped off a swing?” You asked, remembering a little game you and your friend back home used to play.  

“That move you pulled earlier?”  

“Yeah. Wanna try?” You asked but be stayed quiet.  

“Come on, we’ll make it interesting!” You tried to bait him.  

“How so?”  

“How about, whoever lands the farthest...... the loser has to buy them something from the vending machine at school tomorrow?” You proposed, and you could see something in his eyes come alive.  

“Your on.” Kyo smirked, his competitive side coming out, and you felt a jolt go up your spine.  

“Okay... one” You two swung, both smiling in anticipation.  

“Two....”  

“Three!” And you and Kyo let go of the swings and pushing yourselves forward, hoping to make a somewhat soft landing.  

“OOf.” You landed on your feet and then fell back onto the woodchips.  

Kyo had also fallen back, but his feet landed a bit ahead of you.  

“Huh... I thought cats always landed on their feet.” You couldn’t help it, and he glared back at you.  

“Ha Ha, very funny. I won. You owe me a drink.” Kyo said as he got off and dusted himself off.  

“Boo, fine.” You accepted defeat, and a hand with a red string attached to the pinkie reached out to you.  

“Come on, it’s dark out already.” Kyo asked as he helped you up and held your hand the rest of the way, a comfortable silence falling between you two.  

It didn’t take long to walk to where you’re home was, Kyo walked you right to the door of your Grandparent’s apartment.  

You fidgeted with your keys as you told him goodbye, nervously tucking a peice of loose hair bhind your ear. A part of you worried that this was all a dream and you would wake up and Kyo would still be glaring at you in class. You thankied him for walking you home and telling Kyo that you’d see him tomorrow and buy him that drink you owed him.  

As Kyo looked down at your form, he couldn’t stop the feeling of butterflies flying around in his stomach as he looked from your bright eyes to your lips. He took a deep breath, hoping this wasn’t a mistake.  

“Maybe we could have lun-” Kyo cut you off, his hand cradling your face and turning your head up as he leaned in, his lips crashing into yours. Once you realized what was going on, you leaned into him, careful to not make him transform but gripping the front of his shirt as your lips melded with his.  

Kyo couldn’t think straight. Everything became hazy, and the only thing in focus was him and you. And Kyo realized that you were the only person that he wanted to kiss for the rest of his life. You were a gift. Kyo wanted to laugh and cry. He felt so lucky he had found, or you had found him, but he was also terrified of losing you.  

He wanted forever with you.  

When you two parted, you couldn’t help but whisper out a small ‘wow’ and that you were sure that Kyo didn’t hear... but he did and laughed while scratching the back of his neck, a small blush on his cheeks that matched yours. Neither wanted to make the first move to leave, finding warmth in the other presence.  

“Night.” Kyo finally gave in as he heard the night crickets and realized how late it had gotten.  

“Goodnight, Kyo.” You smiled up at him, and he leaned down again, giving a quick kiss before finally leaving.  

You opened your apartment door and as you closed it behind you leant back, holding your bag to your chest as you let out a small squeal. You felt as if you were floating, and the only thing keeping you from flying into the atmosphere was the red string connecting you to the handsome orange-haired boy who had given you your first kiss.  

You just looked forward to all the days to come. Even if your soul mate had ‘complications,’ you looked forward to every day you would get with him.    

“Welcome home, honey.”

“Hey Mom, can we paint our nails tonight?” You asked, unable to erase the giant smile from your face as you thought of the tangerine orange nail colour that you wanted to get your hands on.

.

.

Kyo had gotten straight to the roof when he had gotten home, looking up at the stars, his heart still hammering in his chest, and his cheeks were starting to hurt from the smile on his face.  

The cursed boy knew he would have to put up a fight against his family to make this work, but he felt like a new fire had been lit, and he realized just how much he could miss out on, and he didn’t want to miss out on this chance.  

He had grown up glaring at the red string around his pinkie that was on the same hand of his prayer beads as if it was mocking him. But now when he looked at all, he was your face, and it was beautiful, a warm feeling blooming from his chest at the very thought of you and your smile  

.  

.  

.-.-.-.-.-.-  

.  

“...... What the hell.” Uo spoke as she watched (y/n) and Kyo at the vending machine, joking around and smiling as (y/n) put her money in and let Kyo pick something out, they were also standing awfully close.  

“Do you know what’s going? Did Kyo finally confess or something.” Uo asked Tohru, who was watching with a huge smile on her face.  

“Oh I don’t know! I think it was all just a misunderstanding.” Tohru insisted, pure joy filling through her as she watched her two friends. Yesterday the two seemed so burdened but now they looked like they had little to no care in the world as they walked side by side, their pinkies lightly touching before shyly interlocking.

 A silent promise made between two fated souls.

.

.

[kuro-sohma]

A Tummy Rub Always Helps

Not his normal tiredness PT #1

Summary- An awful stomach bug is going around the school. The Sohma family think they have dodged it, think again... It's Friday & Tohru notices Yuki is acting weird.


Trigger Warning!!! Emetophobia


Warning- Has the potential to melt your heart .


"Almost half the class is off with this awful bug." Tohru thought, glancing around at the sparse classroom.
This awful bug has been taking her classmates down one by one, and from what she'd heard, it's a nasty virus. Luckily, neither Kyo nor Yuki had gotten it.
"That would be a nightmare." Tohru thought, imagining how awful it would be if one of the Sohmas was to catch such a virus.
"You zoning out, everything alright?" Arisa asked, glancing back at Tohru.
"Oh, I'm fine." Tohru assured, "I was just thinking about how so many people are off sick with this stomach bug."
"Mm, I had a few days ago, it was like I was dying." Arisa said, "You're lucky, Tohru. You haven't had it yet."
Tohru smiled, "And I hope to keep it that way."
"I agree with Tohru, I wish to keep my health." Saki added, "I sense so many peoples waves are changing when they are unwell. It isn't pleasant."
"Have any of the Sohmas had the virus yet?" Arisa asked, looking back at Tohru.
She shook her head, "No, and I hope they don't. From what I've heard it is an awful bug."
Obviously Tohru didn't want to see her friends suffering from his bug, but she also worried they could transform if they got too sick. All she could do was hope, it was Thursday afternoon, one day until the weekend. Fingers crossed.
OooOooO
"Good morning." Tohru greeted as Shigure and Kyo entered.
"Why are you so cheerful?" Kyo asked, grabbing the milk from the fridge.
"Don't take your grumpiness out in her, Kyo." Shigure scolded.
Kyo scoffed, taking a large gulp of milk from out of the carton.
"Where's rat boy?" Kyo asked, noticing he wasn't their yelling at him.
"I didn't think you cared." Shigure said, purposely annoying Kyo.
"I don't care!" Kyo snapped, "I was just...Nevermind!"
"Don't get your whiskers in a knot." Shigure said, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.
A few more minutes passed, Tohru finished making breakfast and set up the table. The three of them has almost finished their breakfast when Yuki finally appeared.
"You sleep in, Rat boy." Kyo said, frowning.
Yuki didn't answer, he just silently sat down beside Tohru. He didn't bother to greet any of them, which made Tohru a bit suspicious.
"Is everything ok, Sohma?" Tohru asked, "You seem upset."
"Pay no attention to him, Tohru." Shigure added, "He's always moody in the morning."
Shigure was expecting Yuki to snap at him or at least to acknowledge he spoke, yet the rat said nothing. He started at the table, sipping a glass of water and slowly nibbling the food Tohru made.
"We better get going." Tohru said, collecting the bowls and heading into the kitchen.
She was about to take Yuki's bowl, but stopped when she realised it was still almost full.
"Are you finished?" Tohru asked, "Was there something wrong? Did taste ok?"
"It was fine, Ms Honda." Yuki answered, "I'm just not hungry."
Tohru grabbed Yuki's bowl and headed to the kitchen, a worried frown on her face. It wasn't like Yuki not to eat, maybe something was wrong.
Tohru quickly cleaned the dishes and prepared to leave for school.
"Hey, Rat Boy, hurry up!" Kyo yelled, standing beside Tohru.
"I'll catch up." Yuki's voice answered, "You go."
Kyo scoffed, storming down the path. "You coming?" He called back, seeing Tohru hadn't moved.
"Oh, yes. Sorry I zoned out." Tohru said, rushing to join Kyo.
OooOooO
Yuki sat on his bed, staring down at the floor. Something wasn't right. He felt cold, so much he was shivering, but it was summer. He felt guilty that he didn't eat what Tohru made for him, but he wasn't hungry. Wel, not entirely true, he didn't eat because he didn't feel good.
In addition to his body shivering from the absent cold, his stomach was hurting and he felt slightly nauseous. It was a dull stomach ache, but when he moved it felt like he was being stabbed.


[petri808]

@kyoruweekofficial Kyoru week prompt Tease please don’t mind my amateur editing lol.

After finishing up the nightly dishes and putting their son Hajime to bed, Tohru finds her husband Kyo in the living room with the lights off and the television on, relaxing with a movie. She walks over, standing behind the couch. “What are you watching?”

“It’s called the Grudge.”

“Like someone’s angry?”

He chuckles, “you could say that.” Kyo turns to look up at his wife. “I’d ask if you’d like to watch but...” he turns on a faux concern in his tone, “I don’t know— if you could handle it.”

“You’re just teasing me Kyo,” she raises her clenched fist in the air in a show of courage. “I can handle it! I’m much stronger now.”

“Are you sure... it’s a scary movie.”

‘Uh-oh!’ Tohru gulps, maybe she’d just bitten off more than she could chew. But now that she’d declared her willingness, it would be a loss to give in now. “I-I can handle scary movies.”

Again her husband chuckles, then pats the couch next to him and waves her over. Tohru sits down and while her mind was screaming, she held back her anxieties. ‘You can do this! It’s just a movie Tohru. Completely fake, nothing to worry about...’

Twenty minutes into the movie, Kyo side eyes his wife sitting there stiff as a board, and her eyes glued to the television. He’d been checking on her periodically, knowing how easily she gets spooked and was a bit surprised she was doing as well as she was. But that could also be a testament to her stubborn side. Tohru was clearly scared and just hiding it by stating still. Oh, he couldn’t resist.

Just as a scene of the ghost woman creeping through a monitor hits the screen, “boo!” He screams and jabs her side, not hard, but just enough to make the woman shriek and jump into his lap.

“Kyo—!”

“I’m sorry!” He couldn’t hold back his laughter. “It was just too good to pass up!”

“So... mean!” She pummels him with weak slaps on his arm. “You could have woken up Hajime!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry babe,” he bundles her closer, shifting her in his lap to make her more comfortable. Kyo still had an amused tone, but his softened voice was enough to settle her down. “Do you want me to change the movie?”

“No,” she mumbles, “You don’t need to stop it because of me.”

“Are you sure?” She nods her head against his chest. “Alright,” he kisses her forehead. “You can just stay where you are and I’ll protect you.”

For the rest of the movie, the couple watches quietly, and Kyo refrains from teasing his wife further. He was already proud of her for watching part of it, then sticking it out through the rest, even if she wasn’t actually paying attention. It was moments like this one that made him fall in love with Tohru over and over again. Just to have her close, nestled in his arms, the mother of his child, and giving him a life he’d never dreamed of having, he’d happily keep her in his lap for eternity.

When the credits start to roll, Kyo turns the television off, but takes a few minutes to relish the sleeping woman in his arms. She was so cute when she slept. Such an innocence that fueled his desire to protect her from the ills of this world. He kisses her forehead and gains a light sigh, then picks her up and carries her to bed. Tohru may scare easily by movie monsters, but this tough little woman was strong enough to handle a real life one and to Kyo that made her one of the toughest people in the world.

[shedreamsofstars]

our union is a secret i’m hoping, dreaming, lying to keep - chapter seven

you’ve all heard of ‘pretending to be married when you’re not’, now get ready for ‘actually married but pretending you’re not’

When Tohru and Kyo accidentally find themselves married, they must keep their new union a secret from their friends and family. That’s easier said than done when you’re both newlywed dorks who just want to spend some quality time with one another whilst said friends and family are always one step away from discovering the truth.

start from the beginning | previous chapter | next chapter

Tohru had been off ever since Shigure and Akito left.

She hadn't mentioned anything in particular to him, but Kyo knew something was bothering her. He leaned in the doorway, biting the inside of his cheek as he watched her silently rearrange the cushions on the sofa.

It was nothing out of the ordinary, Tohru loved keeping things organised after all, but the fact that she had been moving the same cushion from one place to another for the past few minutes was concerning to say the least.

He briefly considered stopping her, but she seemed so lost in her own thoughts that he couldn't help but wonder what it was that was demanding so much of her attention. She seemed upset, almost, and he replayed their earlier conversations to try and find out what might have caused her shift in mood.

He inwardly cringed at some of the topics that came up during dinner, but despite being embarrassing, nothing had been so bad that she'd spend so long dwelling on it like she was. But if that wasn't it, then what was she thinking about?

Giving up, he entered the room. Tohru glanced up as she noticed him, and her face broke into a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as she finally let go of the cushion. Kyo's brows dipped down at the sight and he sat gingerly on the sofa.

"Tohru, come here," he said, reaching out for her hands. Tohru cocked her head in question as she took his hand, and Kyo tugged her towards him with a sharp movement. She giggled as she fell into his lap, instantly covering her face with her hands to hide the way her cheeks had turned pink.

Kyo bit back a laugh at how ridiculous it was that she still got embarrassed like this. It was almost as if the Tohru he slept next to every night, the one that couldn't fall asleep unless she was holding onto some part of him, was a completely different girl than the one before him.

"Hey," he called softly, knocking the hands covering her face with his forehead. "Anyone in there?"

Tohru nodded, blowing out a stream of warm air as she let her hands drift down to her lap. "Sorry," she murmured as she turned her head to look at him. Her dark eyes were filled with something he couldn't quite recognise, and after watching her for a long moment, he sighed and let his head fall against her shoulder.

It was clear that no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't going to figure out what was bothering her. At least, not without asking her directly.

"Is something wrong Kyo-kun?"

Kyo chuckled, lifting his head to meet her concerned gaze. "I'm fine, but I was just about to ask you the same thing," he admitted. "Is something the matter?"

Tohru glanced away from him quickly, her fingers knotting together. "No," she said quietly. "It's not important, really."

"What's not important?" Kyo reached for her hands and Tohru let out a soft sound of surprise as he began to untangle her fingers and entwine them with his own. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

She nodded.

"I know that. It's just …" Tohru started before shaking her head. "It's nothing."

"Tohru," he chided softly, shaking their linked hands. "It's not nothing if it's upsetting you."

Kyo knew his wife had a terrible habit of keeping her feelings hidden inside of her, and although she was getting much better at it, sometimes she still needed coaxing to remind her that sharing them didn't make her a burden.

Tohru didn't say anything in response, her eyes glued to her lap where she wove her fingers between his over and over.

"Are you mad at me?" Kyo asked, not because he thought she was but just so he could definitely rule it out.

"No, of course not!" she said adamantly, her brown eyes fierce with conviction.

The tight ball of worry in his chest loosened a little.

"Then … are you mad that we didn't get to have a proper wedding like Akito and Shigure are going to?" He'd considered it a possibility earlier that the Head of the family's upcoming nuptials had made her realise just what she'd lost out on, but …

"I'm not mad at all Kyo, especially not over something like that," she reassured him.

"Maybe you should be? I mean, you never got the chance to be a bride or have bridesmaids or any of that other stuff that people normally do at weddings."

"I don't mind that at all, and you missed out on just as much as I did. All I really wanted was to be with you, and I already have that."

"Is that right?" he teased, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. "Well, for what it's worth … you would have made the most beautiful bride, blushing or otherwise."

Tohru flashed him a shy smile and he couldn't help the way his chest stuttered in response. "So, if it's not about the wedding was it about … that other thing," Kyo prompted, hoping she'd catch onto his meaning without him having to spell it out.

Her eyes creased in confusion and he knew he'd have no such luck.

"About the kids thing," he clarified, willing his face to stay passive through sheer willpower.

"Oh," she replied with a startle, and Kyo knew he'd at least hit on part of what was bothering her. "No …"

"But?" Kyo continued, because he knew there was a 'but'.

"Would you want to have children Kyo-kun?" Tohru asked, and Kyo got the sense that she was deflecting the conversation away from her true thoughts again.

He mulled over his response for a moment, Tohru watching him expectantly as he did so. "Yeah? I mean, I think so. Someday."

"Oh," she replied, her tone and face not giving away anything.

"Only if you wanted them too, that is," he added quickly. "Do you want kids?"

Tohru nodded instantly. "I do," she said, her tone a little brighter than it had been before.

"That's great," Kyo said. "But I still think you're not fully telling me what's bothering you."

"I know, and I'm sorry Kyo-kun. It's just … I really don't know how to explain what-"

Tohru cut herself off with a frustrated sigh, her shoulders tensing as she struggled to put her thoughts to words.

"Hey, it's okay," he soothed, pulling her into a hug. He held onto her tightly, hoping she'd know that he cared for her so much and that she'd always be safe with him. "Give it your best shot. I might not understand, but I promise to try my best to figure out what you mean. So, what's bothering you?"

"It's … Shigure-san mentioned that-"

"Ugh, him," Kyo growled. "You know, you really shouldn't pay any attention to what Shigure says of all people." Tohru blinked at him and Kyo realised that he'd just rudely interrupted her. "Sorry, I should have let you finish talking first. Go ahead, I'm listening."

"I think Shigure was right."

"What?" Kyo spluttered, not sure he'd heard his wife correctly. As much as he didn't want to, he loosened his hold on he so her could face her with ease. "I think my ears are broken. Did you just say that you think Shigure was right?"

"Mhmm," she hummed, nodding her head.

"About what exactly?"

"About us."

Kyo shook his head and in confusion and Tohru groaned in embarrassment, but she followed through regardless.

"Back when we lived at Shigure's, we were basically staying in one room together and Yuki or someone was almost always home, so it made sense. But then you moved out and I missed you so much, and I thought that when were living alone we could maybe …"

She took a steadying breath and Kyo ran his thumb along the back of her hand. She let out a half-laugh as he pressed his nose to her cheek. "Keep going," he murmured, pressing his lips to the base of her jaw.

"I was too nervous to say anything, but then we got married and we … never," she squeaked nervously, her face glowing with a blush even brighter than the one she'd worn before. "Shigure-san said we have the whole place to ourselves, and we do so … I was thinking that maybe …"

Tohru looked away from him, leaving the rest of her sentence hanging tensely in the air between them. Kyo knew that if her hands weren't in his right then that she'd be covering her face from him again. He was glad that she wasn't looking at him though, since his own face went as red as a beetroot as her meaning slowly dawned on him.

Was she asking if they …?

Hesitantly, she turned back towards him and Kyo's mouth fell open, his heart threatening to tumble out as he took in Tohru's heated gaze. It wasn't as if the thought had never occurred to him, he was only human after all, but … god, he couldn't think straight right now.

He tried to stutter through some form of a reply, but his words came out as nothing but garbled nonsense. He gave up on them quickly as Tohru began to shake with a quiet giggle.

"It's okay, Kyo," she said softly, and he barely even registered that she'd dropped the honorific, something he'd been trying to get her to do for the longest time. "It's like Shigure-san said, there's really no pressure or anything."

Now it was Kyo's turn to chuckle. "No that's … that's not how Shigure meant that," he said, a smile spreading across his face. In that moment, he knew exactly how lost Tohru must have felt earlier when she struggled to explain herself.

He placed a single finger under her chin and lifted her gaze up to his. Kyo wanted to tell her that he wanted what she did and so much more for them, but then, words had never really been his forte. He'd always preferred action.

And so, he simply leaned into her and let his lips do the talking before he found some other way to make a ridiculous embarrassment of himself. His kiss was soft and firm, and when she kissed him back with a hunger he'd never felt from her before he gasped against her lips in surprise.

She tried to pull back, afraid she'd gone too far, but he pulled her back and kissed her more insistently, his hands framing her face. It was new and exhilarating, and it took all he had to mumble a simple 'yes' as he lost himself in her touch.

"Wait, really?" she asked when he finally pulled back for air, studying the way her eyes were suddenly glittering with what he could only call desire. Kyo could only laugh against her lips at the surprise in her voice.

When it came to Tohru, he was so far gone that he wouldn't have been able to deny her the world had she asked for it. Maybe one day she'd figure it out, but until then …

"God yes," he murmured, pressing light kisses against her neck and jaw.

"Kyo-kun, I don't want you to think that you have to-"

He cut her off, smiling widely as he kissed her hard enough to make her forget all of her doubts. The slightly stunned look on her face when he pulled back was almost enough to send his thoughts flying into the unknown.

"Sorry. I know I should let you finish but I don't like where that was heading. You're not forcing me into anything, I promise."

He let his head fall back against the sofa, hair flopping across his eyes. He pushed it out of his face with his free hand and nudged Tohru with the other. She got the hint and turned so that she was facing him, her knees pressing into the sofa on either side of his legs.

She leaned in towards him, her nose brushing against his with a small smile and the scent of wildflowers. He reached up and let his fingers trail down her cheeks before cupping her jaw.

"Tohru," he said quietly, his voice floating in the small space between them. "You don't know how hard it's been sleeping next to you and trying not to think of you … like that."

"Kyo-kun," she called softly, her own hand reaching for his cheek. Her touch was cold, but it felt nice against his hot skin.

"What I mean to say is, you're not making me do anything I haven't already wanted to do for months." He shifted one hand onto her back and lowered her down onto the sofa, so he was hovering above her and meeting her intense look with a matching one of his own. "I want you," he drawled, his voice low and husky.

"I want you too," she whispered, and before he knew it his lips were on hers again and his hands were sliding down her thighs. Their touch felt real and right, and when her fingers wound through his hair, tugging gently on the strands to bring him closer, it took all Kyo had to break off the kiss.

Tohru mewled in protest at the loss of his touch, but he stroked her cheeks to keep any doubts at bay. "I think …" he breathed against her lips, struggling to catch his breath, "… maybe we should take this upstairs."

Tohru looked flustered for a second, as if only just realising that they were still in the living room before seeming to remember that they were all alone. No one would walk in on them anymore, so it was fine. But a bed would definitely be more comfortable.

She nodded and Kyo rolled off of her. Tohru made to follow, but before she could, Kyo leaned over and scooped her into his arms, holding her bridal style. "Please," he said softly. "Let me carry you like I should have on our wedding night," he said, the blush he'd been fighting for so long finally breaking through and lighting up his cheeks.

Tohru looked at a loss for words, but her shy smile said everything he needed to know. She leaned her head against his chest and let her hands snake around his neck. The way her fingers wove through his hair, Kyo wasn't sure he had enough self-restraint to make it the short distance to the bed.

... xxx ...

ack, apologies for taking so long with this chapter. i kept going back and forth about how far i wanted to take this and it was a whole dilemma lol. the next chapter will start *after* their night together and is more light-hearted (so this won't get too nsfw) but if i ever do post the spicier stuff i'll let you guys know if you’re interested.

thank you so much for reading and supporting my work, i appreciate it so so much and i'll see you in the next one. take care x

[lonefaith]

Nails in Fruits Basket

In the Fruits Basket Banquet fan book, Natsuki Takaya mentions that Yuki started cutting his nails short after he opened up to Kakeru. And if you pay attention, it’s clear that between volumes 15

and 16

the boy got some nail clippers. Once he opened his heart, Yuki was relieved of the shame of his bottled feelings. Yuki has always been one to develop in small noticeable increments, like being able to tie his tie correctly and holding back from fights with Kyo. All of these small things are signs of him being able to move forward. 

But Yuki’s not the only character whose nails tell a story. Just look at the difference in length between Saki and Tohru’s nails.

Tohru’s nails are kept short. She’s a working girl, and it’s hard to make onigiri when the rice keeps getting stuck underneath your nails. Tohru isn’t concerned with style. She prioritizes practicality, as opposed to Arisa, who still likes to keep stylish with long painted nails.

And do I really need to go into detail about the significance of Saki’s nails? 

Saki does eventually grow her nails out. She definitely has an aesthetic. Despite being the proof of the sin that she committed in her youth, the color eventually becomes a comfort to her. She takes ownership of it in style.

Nails in Fruits basket are also used to inflict pain.

Akito’s nails are kept long. One could pose the theory that she keeps them long in an effort to reconnect with the femininity that she was denied. It’s hard to say. But what is clear, is that Akito uses her nails to intentionally hurt others. 

Kyoko’s nails are kept long. In her anger, she clenches her fist and repeatedly hits her desk. When she opens her hand, she sees that in lashing out at the world, she’s only hurting herself.

In Fruits Basket, small details are often signs of large significance. And it’s the mark of a truly brilliant mangaka, that so many stories can be told by utilizing the smallest common characteristics that people share. Something as seemingly insignificant as fingernails. 

In the comic where she mentions Yuki’s nails, Kyo tells Takaya that no one is going to notice something so small. But we see you, Takaya. We do.

[yearoftheyuki]

Details in episode 7

So, as I mentioned in my last post, this was my favorite episode so far. In this post I wanna get a little more specific as to what I really meant by that. There’s a lot I loved, I’m considering making a future post on either Akito’s  portrayel in this episode or the perfection of Kyo and Tohru’s conversation in this episode. To talk about the whole episode would be overwhelming, as I’d wanna go into everything that I loved which makes writing difficult so I really want to focus on the beach scene between Yuki and Tohru because it is very important to me and it fits the theme of my Yuki centered blog. That was the first scene I saw of the manga. That scene is so very important for Yuki’s character. And I’ve read that scene so many times, I can still remember wishing I could see it animated. That being said, when I say I loved this episode I mean that the anime really did a good job of playing it out EXACTLY how I pictured it in my head. The chances of the anime doing that are very slim because these scenes are all very subjective; we’ve all read Fruits Basket and constructed our own thoughts or interpretations, so to satistfy everyone’s thoughts would be very difficult. I happen to love this episode because this time the anime nailed it, in how I pictured this scene. Some may have pictured it differently. *𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵!

So what did they do that I loved? Well lets start with the fact that since this scene is so important to me, it must be treated with care. The care this scene was treated with is evident in how the choices the anime team made like:

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗥𝗦: The colors were absloutelty BEAUTIFUL in this scene. Such a soft, calming pallete that really fit the vibe of this scene. I pictured the night exactly like this; that kind of nighy where the sun is setting and blending into a purple sky (if that makes sence). It really set the tone for the whole scene; subtle but important. By subtle I mean that the colors were simple, by important I mean that they stand out enough to draw you in and make you realize that what’s going on is worth paying attention to.

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖: Wow, they gave this scene a special song, as they should! The music they chose was the kind that makes you choked up as your’re listening to it, in the moment. This really works because Yuki is overwhelmed at the moment with lots of feelines; love, gratitude, sadness, fear, confidence, but above all hope. And that is why he is so choked up. He is so thankful for Tohru and is now hopeful for his future because of her, and he’s trying to show her that. Seeing Yuki cry isnt enough, I think the way the violins are playing during that part really accentuate those emotions.

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦: Let me tell you, nothing is more pleasing than watching a scene that I read sooooo many times in pen come to “life” in animated form. It was like my manga had come to life in front of me. Sometimes the anime misses certain movements, and I get it, we don’t want a 100% copy of Takaya’s work, and neither does she. And sometimes it doesn’t fit the timing. Most people don’t notice. But when there’s a scene you’re passionate about you notice EVERYTHING. That being said, I know this part like the back of my hand. I was so happy that they didn’t leave out any movement. This was not the scene to cut things. They got every thing down, from how Yuki goes from holding Tohru, to kissing her, to leaning on her. They even made it a little more obvious that he was crying which I LOVE. Nice job😍

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗣𝗧/𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚: This scene stayed very true to the wording of the manga, at least from subtitles. And his voice actor KILLED it. I should make a section for the acting because he really gave it his all in this. I mean the voice crack, and the way he said “you didnt know it was always you saving me”. UGH HE NAILED THAT, I really felt that. Thats just how I pictured Yuki’s saying it! I’ll have to really listen to it when the dub comes out to extend on this part. But I love how Yuki said everything that he said in the manga, almost identical. I get upset sometimes when its not the same but thats a me thing😂 Though, I’m curious to know why they took out “I love you”? I should be more upset but idk “so dear to me” actually sounds more genuine. We know he loves her, I just thought “dear to me” was sweet. So yeah, go anime team!

𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦: Yuki is actually really expressive. It may not be as explicit as Kyo’s facial expressions, but you can really tune into Yuki’s feelings from watching his face. In the manga, I loved Takaya’s art during this part because I felt that Yuki’s eyes said so much during this part, without words needed. I actually think they exaggerated that in this scene, and I’m all for it. Tohru asks why he’s so sad for good reason, and we need to see that. We need to see him saying one thing but his facial expressions saying another because there’s something important that he’s not telling her. I’m so glad that the anime team really understood that.

Oh man, lets look at another please

Wow. Here in this picture we see beautiful colors (and a beautiful person hehe), a top tier facial expression, a movement directly taken from the manga, tied in with appropriate music in the background, with appropriate wording, and all done with care. THAT is what care is to me. They took a scene that I had very high expectations for and met them flawlessly. That, among other things, is the biggest reason why episode 7 has been my favorite so far✨

[kumeko]

A/N: For the Bnha LBGTQ+ zine! Thank you for being an inclusive zine. 😊 I wanted to do some queer exploration for Nejire, grappling with confusion as she grows before accepting who she is.

…

…

…

…

“Kiss,” Nejire read aloud, her chubby fingers tracing the word in the picture book. Seated in her mother’s lap, she leaned closer to the book, eyes wide as she observed the image of a prince leaning down to kiss the princess.

 “You read it right,” her mother praised, beaming brightly. “The prince kisses the princess, breaking the curse.”

 Nejire glanced up at her mom, then at the book she was patiently holding open. “Kiss,” she repeated. “Mommy, what’s it taste like?”

 “Taste?” Her mother laughed, surprised. She hummed lightly. “Now that’s a question…what does it taste like? What’s your most favourite thing in the whole world?”

 Nejire snorted. That was easy. “Candy,” she replied immediately.

 “I should have guessed.” Letting go of the book with a hand, her mother tousled Nejire’s hair affectionately. “Then that’s what a kiss tastes like.”

-x-

 Her first kiss tasted like cotton candy. In the shadows behind her school, Nejire clumsy kissed her classmate and tasted the chapstick on her lips. In retrospect, it was a clumsy kiss, filled with fumbling hands, bumping noses, and clacking teeth. At the moment, though, Nejire noticed none of that. Her heart beat fast as she gripped Tohru’s shoulders. Her face, her hands, her everything was warm, almost hot, and she tried to remember how to breathe as their lips pressed one another.

 Tohru had the prettiest long, brown hair, and Nejire had spent hours fantasizing running her hands through it. Doing it now, her fingers felt awkward and sticky, like she would tear out her hair before her hand managed to comb through it all. The tips of her other hand brushed against Tohru’s neck, against the soft skin there. She was too nervous to raise them higher, to rest her palm on Tohru’s cheek.

 Breathless, they finally broke apart. Nejire panted as she tried to steady herself. A bright-red Tohru slumped onto her knees, chest heaving as she looked everywhere but at Nejire.

 It was cute. Terribly cute. Nejire slowly crouched down till they were at same height again and smiled. “Want to do it again?”

 Tohru squeaked.

 -x-

 Her second kiss was the sharp sting of a slap. Nejire reeled backwards, automatically clutching her cheek as she backed away from her classmate, Arisa. Unfortunately, in their eight-grade classroom, there was nowhere to go. Desks penned her in from her sides and behind her, Minako stood, her smile dark and malicious.

 It was afterschool. Her teacher and other classmates were all long gone, the classroom empty save for her and five girls. One in front, one behind; Nejire looked at her right, glancing at the remaining three as she hoped for help. None of them said anything. Arms crossed, identical glares on their faces, they might as well have been mannequins for the support they offered.

 Arisa shook her hand, wincing. “Damn, that hurt.”

 Nejire gritted her teeth. Fine, she could handle this herself. She growled, “What was that for?”

 “It was to wake you up,” Arisa replied, rolling her eyes. Not even paying attention to her anymore, she massaged her hand. “I should have just tossed water on you and been done with it.”

 “To wake me up?” Nejire frowned, perplexed. “The hell, I am awake.”

 “Clearly you’re not,” Minako snorted inelegantly. She stomped her foot on the ground. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

 “Done what?” More and more, she wondered if something was wrong with her hearing, if she had swapped bodies or timelines and didn’t know it.

 “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Arisa grimaced, her nose scrunching and brow furrowing. “You kissed Tohru.”

 Nejire looked at Arisa, and then at Minako. “Yeah?” She rubbed her ears, maybe she really did need to get her hearing checked. “What’s wrong with that?”

 “Whats…” Flabbergasted, Arisa stared at her for a long moment before massaging her forehead. “Are you serious?”

 “It’s unnatural!” Minako interrupted, obviously ready for this to be over. “You kissed a girl. You’re not supposed to do that.”

 “Why?” Nejire stepped toward Arisa and tried not to feel hurt when she stepped away. “Why not?”

 “I can’t believe we have to start there—no wonder your grades suck. Just like your Quirk.” Arisa laughed and as if on cue, the other girls chimed in. In the small room, their laughter surrounded Nejire, swirling around her as though it were alive. “Tohru’s a girl, you’re a girl. You’re supposed to kiss boys.”

 “But—”

 “No buts. You’re not that stupid, are you?” Arisa flipped her hair over her shoulder and strolled away. “Don’t worry, we talked to Tohru about this.”

 When Tohru stopped talking to her the next day, it felt worse than the slap.

 -x-

 Her third kiss tasted like peppermint, strong and sharp. Hidden in the trees by the playground, Nejire grabbed Hiro and kissed him. Just like with Tohru, she had to take the first step. Unlike with Tohru, there wasn’t any chapstick to taste, just the overbearing taste of peppermint, of a breath spray used a few too many times.

 It was strange. Really strange. Nejire opened her eyes, studying the boy in front of her. His hands rested nervously on her hips, his eyes squeezed shut. Part of her liked this overly worried boy, this boy who gave her the shyest of smiles. His voice had shook when he’d confessed to her.

 Would she have liked him if Tohru hadn’t stopped talking to her? It was a question without an answer. His lips were rougher than Tohru’s but the kiss was just as clumsy, just as awkward. Their faces fit together, somehow, but Nejire hadn’t figured out the placement just yet. Her skin burned, just like it had with Tohru’s, and her hands buried into his soft, dark tufts of hair. This time, her fingers didn’t get stuck in the short, curly locks.

 She felt the same rise of excitement, the same heat running through her spine and curling her toes. The thrill was the same, whether it was Tohru or Hiro she kissed. The thrill was the same, the joy was the same, and why did one get her attacked and the other ignored?

 It didn’t make any sense.

 -x-

 Her fourth to twelfth kisses were done secretly. Ever since that afternoon in the classroom, Nejire didn’t like getting caught with her crushes. In empty stairwells and locked classrooms, she tasted cherries and spearmint and the remnants of lunch on her peers’ lips. With each kiss, the taste grew more and more diluted, until all she could perceive was water.

 Each kiss grew easier, more graceful. She learned how to place her nose, how to press her lips. Her hands threaded through hair like it was silk and her tongue shyly peeked out of her lips as she mastered the art of French kissing.

 And when she grew weary of it all, she’d disappear into the library and quietly look up books on romance. Men saving damsels, women smiling at one another in coffee shops, two guys taking a ride to nowhere; she devoured each tale as though it were fact.

 Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Nejire repeated each label, but none of them sounded right. None of them fit quite right. She poured through books on gender identities and sexual identities—if girls tasted of lip gloss and boys of breath spray, what did non-binaries taste of? Did she hate her clothes or her gender?

 Whatever the answer, Arisa had been wrong. Utterly wrong. There was nothing strange about kissing a girl.

 -x-

 Her thirteenth kiss was a surprise. The moment she entered the Hero Academy, Nejire stopped thinking about kisses, about labels, about romance. There were too many new things to do, people to meet, and despite what her mother said, her kisses no longer tasted like candy. Besides, she had made two good friends in high school, two people whose quirks were just as bad as hers. Two people who were just as motivated to improve. They met up everyday after class, training in the yard until they had to crawl home from exhausted.

 So, she hadn’t expected anything when she’d jogged behind Mirio, building up her stamina. Hadn’t thought of what would happen when she’d tripped over a rock, yelping as she fell.

 “Nejire!” Mirio whirled around, his reflexes sharp as he reached out to grab her.

 Her own arms were windmilling, trying to keep her upright. It wasn’t enough and she crashed into him, slamming them both onto the hard ground. Their lips connected, their teeth hitting each other like they had in her first few kisses, and she briefly tasted oranges and sunshine.

 They lay there, groaning. Her forehead ached from hitting his and slowly she sat up, rubbing it. “Ouch.”

 “Y-yeah.” Mirio’s voice was an octave higher. Maybe it was because she was sitting on him, cutting off his air. “You o-okay.”

 “Yeah. You?” She glanced down at him, blinking in surprise when she noticed his cherry red skin. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Can’t breathe?”

 “N-no.” He laughed nervously, his eyes averted as he looked everywhere but at her. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she was reminded of someone else having that same reaction, of someone else looking like a cute mess, but the memory was too distant and it slipped out of her fingers. “S-sorry.”

 “Why? I hit you.” She cocked her head, bemused.

 “B-because.” He blushed, turning into a tomato now. “We…we…k-k-kissed.”

 Nejire stared at him, her eyes wide. So that was what she’d tasted before. She hit her fist on her hand, comprehending everything. “OH!”

 “Y-yeah,” Mirio nodded, still looking embarrassed.

 “Oh.” Nejire licked her lips, remembering the tart taste. Unlike her last kiss, this one hadn’t been like water at all. Still sitting on his torso, she pressed her hands on his chest. Beneath her, Mirio’s eyes were wide, his skin red, his flyaway hair a mess. It was cute. Beaming, she asked, “Want to do it again?”

 In response, he turned an even darker shade of red and disappeared into the ground with a surprised squeak.

 -x-

 Her fifteenth kiss was on purpose. By the time she’d reached second year, she considered Mirio and Tamaki not just her favourite people, but her best friends. There was something about them that never failed to bring a smile on her face. Even when they were studying, which was her least favourite thing in the world. Sitting in the library, she resisted the urge to slump on the table as she stared at her math homework. They were at a school for heroics. She did not want to learn algebra. Chewing on her lip, she glared at the paper, willing the answers to come.

 Tamaki glanced at her nervously, his hands fiddling with his pencil. Despite how long they’d known each other, he never looked entirely comfortable when they were alone. “Are you stuck?”

 “Yeah.” Nejire sighed, annoyed. “Hey, hey, do we really have to learn this?”

 “Yeah. It’s a requirement.” He sunk into his chair slightly, looking depressed. “It’s the only thing I’m good at. Why am I here?”

 Nejire immediately wrapped an arm around him, knowing exactly what to say. “Because you’re amazing and a hard worker.” She beamed brightly at him. “Hey, hey, if you can beat these numbers, you can beat any villain.”

 Tamaki flushed at her praise and squirmed in his seat. He hunched over, trying to hide his face. “It’s not that amazing.”

 “It is,” she insisted. “Extremely amazing. Super amazing.”

 “You…” Flustered, he looked up at her, his expression shy. “I’m not...”

 Cute, she thought. So very cute. And then, without thinking beyond that, she leaned forward and kissed him. He tasted of octopus and cinnamon, of the meals he’d consumed in his earnest attempt to improve his quirk.

 Tamaki fell off his chair before she pulled away, and that was cute too.

 -x-

 Her fourteenth kiss was in gratitude. Nejire had three good friends in high school, and her third one was Yuyu. Now that they lived in dorms, they alternated every night over who’s room they visited, carrying with them an assortment of creams and nail polishes. Tonight they were in Yuyu’s room, surrounded by bright pastel colours and posters of fashion models.

 Yuyu held up a bottle in the light. Inside, blue and yellow swirled around one another, touching but never mixing. “This is an interesting shade. I wonder how they do that.”

 “Magic,” Nejire suggested, grinning as she carefully applied topcoat to her nails. The clear liquid gave her nails a glossy look. “Hey, hey, can I ask you something?”

 “Hmm?” Looking away from the bottle, Yuyu nodded. “Sure, what’s up?”

 “I…” Nejire chewed her lip. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t know where to start. She thought of cotton candy, of peppermint, of water. Of the sharp sting of a slap. “I…” Yuyu looked at her expectantly, no judgement on her face. “I don’t get it.”

 “Get what?” Yuyu raised a brow.

 “Kisses. Love.” Nejire waved her hands in front of her helplessly, not sure of what words to use. “I just don’t get it.”

 “Ooh, romance.” Yuyu sat down on her bed and patted beside her. “Tell me everything.”

 Nejire plopped down next to her, feeling immediately at ease. “I…I’ve kissed girls.” She paused, glancing at Yuyu, but she didn’t say anything, just impatiently gesturing for her to go on. Feeling emboldened, she continued. “And I’ve kissed boys.” She stared down her hands, at the topcoat drying. Her tongue felt heavy.

 “Hmmm.” Yuyu opened the nail polish bottle and gently took one of Nejire’s hands. Slowly, she started to apply a coat. Nejire felt a tingle run up her spine at the attention. “And what’s the problem?”

 “That’s just it, I don’t get what the problem is.” Now that she’d started, the words just poured out in a rush. “What’s wrong with kissing girls? It’s not the same as kissing boys, but it’s just as good.”

 Yuyu’s tone was as kind as her touch. “There’s nothing wrong with it.”

 “Really?” Nejire blinked. Whatever words she’d expected, those weren’t it.

 “Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with it.” Yuyu looked up mischievously, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “If anything, I think there’s something wrong with kissing boys.”

 That was something she hadn’t heard before. Nejire knit her brow. “But it feels just as good.”

 “To you, yeah, but not to me.” Yuyu shrugged. “I think girls are just better.” Pulling back now, she let go of Nejire’s hand. “What do you think? How does it look?”

 She looked down at her nails to find they were coated in swirls of blue and yellow, each nail looking different from each other. Nejire held them up to the light, eyes bright as she admired the patterns. “Wow! Hey, hey, you’re great at this.”

 “Of course I am.” Yuyu puffed her chest with pride. “I know fashion.”

 “Thanks!” Nejire wrapped her arms around her friend tightly, making sure to keep her hands clear. After all that hard work, she couldn’t smudge the finish. Kissing Yuyu on the cheek, she murmured. “Really, thanks.”

 “It’s what friends are for.” Yuyu leaned her head against Nejire’s. “And don’t ruin those nails.”

 “I won’t,” Nejire swore.

 “Great. Now please tell me that wasn’t the only love problem you have.” Yuyu pulled away, frowning. “Come on, my love life is dead, tell me yours isn’t.”

 “Well…” Nejire hummed contemplatively before grinning broadly. “I like Mirio and Tamaki.”

 “Huh?” Yuyu’s jaw dropped and speechless, she gestured with her hands in lieu of words. None of those signals could be found in any sign language dictionary, which was a loss to the world. Recovering, she managed, “Both of them? Seriously?”

 “I like their taste,” Nejire replied, fanning her hand lightly to help it dry faster.

 “That’s…not really an answer.” Yuyu sighed, shaking her head. “Well, at least you’re getting enough love for the two of us.”

 -x-

 Her next kiss was unknown. It could be far into the future. It could be today. Nejire stood in Mirio’s room, twisting a strand of hair around her finger as she looked down at Mirio and Tamaki. They sat awkwardly on his bed, fidgeting slightly as they tried to figure out why they were here.

 “Is something wrong?” Mirio asked, concern in his voice.

 Nejire shook her head. “The opposite.” Her heart was beating a million miles a second and her palms were sweaty, but she knew where she stood now. She knew what she wanted and so the words tumbled out of her easily. “Hey, hey, I like you. Both of you.”

 She smiled brightly. No matter what they’re reaction was, she was ready for it. Her nails were still painted that blue-yellow and Yuyu had hot chocolate ready, so even if she was rejected, she could handle it. Nejire was resilient and she was strong, and even if this didn’t pan out, there were other candy-like kisses out there. She just had to find them.

 Still, as she watched Tamaki’s and Mirio’s skin flush a bright red, she hoped the answer was yes. Nejire had always had a greedy streak, after all.