#do not seek me for an interview lmao

[blurred-cat]

college is pushing me out of my comfort zone and making me write about msyelf instead of silly little fictional guys. ok. cool.

but also like. i'm having to share some of these writings with other people in real life. okay. right. ok. nervous.

but also after the class ends this semester then where do the fucking essays go?

I'm entertaining to idea of putting them here. idk. i just.

they're amateur. they're not my best writing. they're vulnerable. they don't deserve obscurity. i've spent too much time on that shit.

idc if they might identify me. they might. so be it. the worst this can say to someone is that i'm here, being genuine, as i always the fuck am. so whatever.

and especially since i just cried while making the first draft of one of these essays i think putting them out into the world like a message in a bottle is what's needed to close this particular wound.

[pocketgalaxies]

the fun thing about crippling imposter syndrome and ridiculously prolonged delayed gratification is that they do this cool combo move where they invent an especially ominous form of anxiety that is insidious and subliminal but reaches into me through to the tips of my fingers like an evil little poison impossible to ignore but also impossible to detect except in the way my jaw aches in the morning and the way i find myself unironically saying "this is the longest week ever" on a forking monday afternoon

[bironism]

bironically, my unremarkable career in law has already toed the line of infamy. my ex-employer, a literal millionaire, paid for an interview with him to be published on my birthday and had the last two questions tailored to make a directly inderect jab at me (that is, a jab that points at me but doesn't name me, starting out true and ending false, the sort of thing that can't be classified as libel as it doesn't unmistakably point in my direction without insider knowledge). it's a 10-questions format, so it's quite obvious which questions deviated from the previous interview rosters. it's a 10-questions marketing gimmick meant to define the interviewee's business ethic for potential clients. the business ethic here being a vengeful cunt.

[dickgraysonsptsd]

Feel free to ignore this ask for whatever reason, but do you have any links to posts/articles that analyze the racism in Devin Grayson’s work that don’t devolve into weird name calling bullshit and accusing her of being a rape fetishist or something equally as insane? I want to gain more knowledge on how she fumbled writing race related topics because I’m having a hard time seeing it in her work, but everyone I’ve come across who talks about it is a raging Devin anti who thinks she’s worse than the devil. I trust your takes on her so I have a feeling you’d be the best to come to tbh.

hi anon!! unfortunately the pervasive vitriol towards devin grayson in fandom really does make it difficult to find discussion of devin grayson's writing re: race/racism that is not full of name calling, "rape fetishist" accusations, etc.

here are a handful of posts i have been able to find, presented without agreement or disagreement:

waybackmachine archived version of @judedeluca's post on grayson's writing of roy harper as navajo

waybackmachine archived version of @judedeluca's interview with grayson on roy and lian for father's day 2022, including further commentary on grayson's writing of roy as navajo

@nightwingsgypsyrep's post on dick being himbofied in canon/fanon and how that relates to him being romani, with some mentions of grayson's run

amino user "not richard"'s post on dick being romani, which is critical of grayson's writing

@nacht-nightingale's post critiquing dick being written as romani by non-romani writers

@captainlordauditor's essay defending grayson's sa arc, with some analysis of the differences in how catalina, liu, and mirage were written as woc by their respective writers

@raddadharper's response to an ask about roy's navajo upbringing, with critique of grayson's writing of it

i cannot find anything critiquing her writing of catalina as a sexually aggressive latina that i would feel right including here based on your criteria. i would love to read more commentary about this, because catalina is the character that seems to most overtly step into a racist stereotype without being backed by efforts at research, seeking direct feedback from the community in question, etc (which she did do with her portrayals of dick and roy—she's said more than once that she directly consulted romani and navajo people when writing them)

also, i believe @nightwingsgypsyrep is writing a recap of their recent reread of nightwing (including grayson's run) that i'm looking forward to.

(as a side note i am putting together a post compiling everything i can find that grayson has written, said in interviews, etc. about her writing of nonwhite characters, including the quotes often cited as racist/fetishizing, that i should have up in a day or two. i was going to include it as part of this reply as reference material but it got really big and out of hand lmao)

if anyone has other posts/essays/etc about devin grayson's writing of nonwhite characters that meet anon's requested criteria ("don’t devolve into weird name calling bullshit and accusing her of being a rape fetishist"), please link me and i will update this post to include them!

[stellarblitz]

Hey I have yet more AZ headcanons for yall (I’m fresh off writing so I am Big Brain ™ about him lmao)

- his accent is… unplaceable. He speaks a lot of languages but he doesn’t sound native to any of them, probably most familiar to Kalosians but even then he sounds… archaic. Like an actor in a historical film

- he has two laughs: a soft chuckle or a full belly laugh where he has to sit down or else he’ll fall over. No in between (and it’s often a surprise which one is triggered)

- he is demisexual, but swings any which way romantically. However, you have to be especially flustered around him for him to get the hint that you’re attracted to him, otherwise he’s oblivious

- he has never been inside a car in his life and is, in fact, a little scared of them (“They come from nowhere at my height”). He takes the train though if necessary

- he used to bury things he wanted to keep but couldn’t carry under Geosenge Town but understandably… he’s moved basically all of that stuff to Hotel Z now

- he’s fascinated by movies. His theoretical Letterboxd is a wild ride because he’ll just take movie recommendations no questions asked, no synopsis needed. He um. Has only been let down once (hey punkass why did you recommend the splatter film to the sad old man)

- he has a garden in the back of Hotel Z with a bunch of exotic flowers (some thought originally extinct), he theorizes that Floette collected many of the seeds over the millennia and kept them safe somewhere (even he doesn’t know where)

- sometimes he will completely make up a bullshit story about his ancient past, but he’s not a very good liar because he’ll have a stupid smirk on his face as he tells you lmao

- he only gets the newspaper for the puzzles and throws the rest out (me too man me too……..) his fav is sudoku

- similar to the online footprint thing from my last post, he’s hesitant to do any sort of interviews, even if they’re audio only. He thinks people should get to know him by seeking him out themselves, not having their opinions filtered by canned questions

-that said, he will assist well-meaning historians who 1) know his deal in the first place and 2) are seeking a primary source on past events (again, w his journals, he’s got a lot written down)

- he’s vegetarian (he would be vegan, but you know the French and their cheese) he knows a lot of ancient vegetarian recipes too!

- he can sleep anywhere. And often does (his employees have to stay vigilant to make sure he doesn’t fall asleep behind the counter)

[mercuriians]

can't remember to forget you

content warning — some profanity, mentions of alcohol, references to terminal illness. reader’s last name is mentioned once for plot purposes later on.

author’s note — HI YALL 🥴 this is totally unedited & i wrote this at 12am. i just wanted to get this out as quickly as possible so bare with me. as a fair warning there is a LOT to unpack with the reader’s backstory, and to be honest 90% of this fic is literally just you brooding over kenji LMAO 😭. this is basically just an experiment so if u guys like this plz let me know so i can write a follow up!!

you really have no idea as to how such an important piece of information slipped your mind. two of japan's most recent superstar athletes were returning home at the exact same time. it would've brought a smile to your face in any other situation. if only those two athletes hadn't been you and him. kenji.

it's been years since you two have spoken. well, those years were spent productively, with both of you dedicating much-needed time towards your respective sports. he rocked the baseball field. you shone on the basketball court. but at the end of the day, behind all the sweat and arena lights and post-game interviews, there was a sharp pain that remained unresolved at the back of your mind. the last memory you have of kenji is still freshly imprinted. you had been at his house, and having recently heard the devastating news of your mother being terribly ill, you had come to him seeking comfort. little did you know that he was hurting too, with another fight having just happened between him and his father.

there was so much going on at the time, so much to worry about and so much pain in general, that all the pent-up feelings between you two had burst within one crucial moment. he kissed you, and you kissed back. clothes came off. you ended up in his bed. for a while it had felt like heaven because yes, it distracted you from the worry that consumed you from the inside out, but it had also made your most secretive wishes come to fruition.

until that moment, only you had known how deeply and utterly in love you were with kenji, and how strongly those feelings had grown since you two were fourteen.

there was nothing else that could have made you happier. even now, you remember the feeling of his strong arms around you, the feeling of his mouth against yours. the way your name rolled off his tongue so smoothly, so adoringly, as he whispered it into your ear. the way he hugged you so firmly after you two made love, as if he was afraid that you would disappear.

but then you also remember how something in him changed only a few seconds later. how the atmosphere grew dark the moment he pushed you off and told you to leave without even looking you in the eye. there's a part of you that wants to think kenji didn't mean to hurt you the way he did. it's the more naive, more hopeful part of yourself, spinning stories of how he actually didn't want you to leave, and he just said it because he didn't know how to cope with his own feelings. ultimately, it's all wishful thinking, borne out of a desire to believe that he maybe did really love you.

kenji broke your heart that night, and right now, even as you board the plane headed to tokyo, even as you put on a smile and sign an autograph for a starstruck fan, you admit that not a single thing has changed. you're still holding onto the past, and you hate yourself for it. especially when you realize that kenji probably moved on a long time ago.

"you alright?" your agent, himari, asks when you two sit down. she's one of the sweetest people ever, and you really don't want to lie to her because of the guilt that you know you'll feel. you meet her hazel eyes. you open your mouth to respond.

"yeah, i'm fine," you smile.

damn it.

as the plane takes off, you do your best to remove kenji from your mind, if only for a little while. perhaps inevitably, you start thinking about the very reason you've decided to finally come home. exactly two nights ago, there was a dream you had while you were sleeping. it was vivid in its entirety, and there was fire and people screaming and something very, very big in the distance, in front of what seemed like a sports arena. conveniently enough, there was some sort of fog surrounding the mysterious figure, but you didn't need to see it to know what it actually was. a kaiju.

you remember the words your mother told you before she passed away. it was an extremely painful memory, and really there was nothing in the world that could have encapsulated how helpless you felt when you saw her frail figure. she used to be so strong, so lively with everything she did and said. it took you a while to recognize the woman that laid in the hospital bed. however even with the tears that had stung your vision at the time, you heard the very last traces of her resolve within the very last words she said to you.

"when you're old enough, i want you to start what i couldn't. . to protect the world with the gift i'll give you. please. . just remember that i love you, and that it's worth giving things a second chance."

as you stare out of the plane window, watching the world pass by below you, the clouds mix together and blur into a white haze. a moment later, you realize that tears are threatening to fall from your eyes. you wipe them away with your sleeve before they have the chance to. i'll do my best, mom, you think, hoping that somehow she can hear you. i don't know where or how i'll start, but i will.

there's a lot of things waiting for you in japan, and you're not entirely sure if you're ready. but at the end of the day, it's your home, and you know deep within your heart that you'll do anything to protect it. sliding your sunglasses onto your face, you close your eyes and try to get some rest before the plane lands.

around twelve hours later, tokyo is there to greet you in all its glory. it's night time, but the way the city lights contrast so beautifully against the sky's inky blue-black canvas is more than enough to bring a smile to your face. "we're home, himari," you say to the woman next to you.

"we are, indeed," she breathes out.

“man, not even los angeles can compete against this,” you chuckle lightly. your words carry quite a lot of weight to them, especially considering how you were completely and utterly starstruck for the first couple of weeks you were in california. there’s a reason so many movies were filmed there. yet, tokyo remains on another level, still reigning as the undefeated champion.

fine. maybe you’re a little biased.

however, your smile fades away when you realize that the probability of seeing him—kenji—is at an all time high. chances are, he’s already here. waiting for you.

stop that.

you shrug off the thought, reminding yourself that he had probably moved on years ago. there was no use in entertaining an idea that had been burnt out for a long time. the only person that would end up being hurt would be yourself—and speaking from experience, emotional distress was a lot different than physical. physical pain you could handle. as a basketball star, you were pretty accustomed to them by now. ankle sprains, muscle cramps, even that torn acl from a year ago, which had hurt like an absolute bitch.

emotional pain was entirely different territory. and it was territory that you were not willing to cross. not again.

god, you were such a mess. maybe indulging in a momentary distraction wouldn’t hurt.

“hey, himari, you wanna know what i’m cravin’ right now?” you ask, a false smile creeping onto your face. the woman in question gives you a wary look, brows slightly scrunched together as if she already knows what you’re going to say.

“a good night’s rest before your interview tomorrow?” she asks flatly.

you shake your head. “alcohol. lots of it.”

“ms. matsuda, i don’t think that’s a smart decision—”

waving her off, you protest, “just for tonight, i promise. we’re back home and i wanna celebrate. and how many times have i told you to call me by my first name?”

himari stares at you for a few moments before lowering her head and heaving a sigh. “fine. . [name]. please take care of yourself out there. and be prepared—i’m sure quite a lot of people will recognize you when you walk into the bar.”

you smile in triumph, holding up your sunglasses. “i’ve got that covered. sure, having these on at night are a little weird, but i’ll just pass it off as the new trend.”

your agent gives you another slightly concerned look before bidding you a good night. and with that, you start walking to the nearest bar. it’s small, inconspicuous, and lit up with only one neon sign. all good indicators that there’s probably not a lot of people in there. you walk in, head held high, without any trouble. your footsteps are light and unhurried against the wooden floor as your eyes quickly scan the environment—eleven or twelve people, give or take, two bartenders, a potted plant over by the corner. and a vacant stool at the far end. perfect.

sliding into the seat, you drum your fingers on the freshly cleaned counter as you decide on what to order. “the denki bran looks good, think i’ll get that,” you mutter to yourself.

you feel someone take the stool next to you, but you don’t pay it much mind. at least until they reply to your words. “yeah, it is good. pretty bold choice, though.”

your mouth drops open.

you hear the person next to you snicker quietly.

the snail-esque speed at which you turn your head would have been comical if it had been any other situation. however, it’s anything but funny when your heart jumps into your throat, when your eyes widen with pure and unadulterated shock as they meet those of familiar gunmetal gray bordering on black.

kenji gives you a sharp grin that’s only a little bit sheepish. “nice to see you again, ace.”

[morningstargirl666]

Thoughts on Marcel? (I think the writers really failed to see the potential of his story, and went really left field of what could have been. But I want to know you're thoughts!)

Oh boy, where do I even start.

I freaking LOVE the concept of Marcel. Not Rebekah's relationship with him---that I side-eye hardcore. But the whole idea that vampires can't procreate, that they're mosntrous killers so far removed from their human side, but still, you see these tragically human glimpses regardless. I'm a big fan of Anne Rice's Interview With The Vampire (haven't read the books, but the show with Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid sends me absolutely feral) and that's basically the concept of Marcel realised in Claudia. That is how they should have done it. No magical babies. Just stuck with the actual fucking lore already established, and seen how these monsters raised a boy as their own. Seen how that boy became a man, and grew into a vampire just as vicious and dangerous as the ones that raised him.

And throughout all that; throughout all the vampire politics and keeping up with oh right, vampires are not some guilt-ridden redemption-seeking imbeciles, but actual cold blooded killers--- creatures of the night in all their horrifying glory---you'd show glimpses of humanity in the way they raised this boy like he's their own. Show the actual idea of family, not something that is forced through blood. You'd watch Klaus see his best vampiric self in Marcel, but also the human boy he once was, before he was turned, when Mikael's beatings were still fresh. And you'd see them actually establish a home in New Orleans, filled with a child's laughter for the first time in hundreds of years (but also, like, his screams. Because let's be real, they probably traumatised the poor kid several times too lmao).

Marcel is the very idea of unifying those two warying worlds vampires so closely court; passing on a vampiric legacy as bloody as their ledger, while also serving as a constant reminder of the humanity that still haunts them even after centuries.

[dolconfessionsss]

Some private messages from Devil! Wanted to screenshot these, but there were too much, so copy pasting the messages instead:

Devil here.

I did not expect to actually be asked questions! I'm surprised! I'm well aware a lot of people have issues with me and I have taken steps to address them. I do take feedback pretty seriously even if I have stated I don't want the Discord to be a typical fandom space that doesn't mean it has to be a toxic hellhole for anyone who even tries to engage with lighter stuff.

For the stuff I do like about DoL uhhhh...oh God..uh...

Well okay, I've always stated in the server and in-general that I'm a huge fan of 4 NPCs. Bailey, Gwylan, Harper and Eden. So I'll start with those!

Bailey and Eden obviously have history, having been childhood friends, so I find their dynamic and what they are in the world super interesting. Eden fled from his trauma (He has CPTSD, for those that care), while Bailey stayed to seek revenge (You can find him blackmailing Quinn in-game). That instantly to me creates interesting dynamics and real-world parallels! Bailey is also obviously here contributing to the abuse and suffering that's felt in town.

Hi! I have no idea side blogs have their own dedicated private message. So hey! Thanks to your messages, now I know that LMAO.

Also thanks for reaching out! Honestly didn't expect you to reach out yourself, so I appreciate the forwardness :]

Gonna respond to your answers one by one because wowza, there's a lot to go through. Gotta say first though, shaking my hands with you so hard on finding Eden and Bailey dynamics with each other and the town so damn interesting. The way they responded to their trauma respectively says a LOT about their characters; but also, I've always been a sucker of the 'cycle of violence' theme which made me love Bailey even more than I already do 💖

Harper feeds into tropes I love. He's so weird. I've personally argued that he should use his genitalia less during sex-scenes because I am really into the idea of him just getting off using his weird brain-worms and the power of sheer autism. Puri disagrees with me on that and I do accept that sometimes what I want is just fueled by my own 'tism rather than any sort of proper design lmao.

Gwylan is just wish-fulfillment tbh. I have a soft-spot for Witchy, weird, alternative type characters. Always did. Gwylan fills that spot perfectly. Makes me like them.

Personally not much of a Harper or Gwylan fan since I just don't interact with them much in-game; but always fun to see underrated character like Gwylan being loved!

(+Obviously I'm a fan of Kylar and Sydney, their failed childhood friendships, Kylar being a child of Auriga Worshipers, Sydney of Virgo worshipers, I like the Historical references through the Ivory Wraith, I like all of the Love Interests having their own red flags, I like Avery being a serial abuser and a commentary of how easy it is for the rich to abuse the poor and write them off as nothing more than things to be abused, used or toyed with.)

Fun fact, I didn't even know Kylar and Sydney were childhood friends until I saw a fanart depicting them as such and looked it up LMAO. And we love an old rich bastard being an entitled asshole 🫶💕

For other things I like about DoL they mostly have to do with real-world comparisons, trauma, history, etc. I've made a rather long-post about how I think about the town as a result of insularism and isolation turning a pseudo-Christian faith through it's own localized schism towards what we now have with Auriga and Virgo, aka The Children (The Cult) and The Temple, and how their increased radicalization erased the middle of the town.

I also like the commentary about how easy it is to ignore and normalize violence towards marginalized groups, something Vrel spoke about in a rather good interview from 2022.

As a whole you can see I have a very heavy focus on the worldbuilding, characters and lore, and because of my personal interest in the more realistic aspects of the game or comparing them to the real world it does cause some butting of heads due to it basically being anti-escapism.

That's a definitely another take to have on the game. I'm personally not too big of a fan for the realistic aspects in a lot of medias, most of these are escapism entertainments so we're definitely on the opposite ends of the spectrum on this matter :'D

I'm very open to discussing a lot of stuff about the game, plans and lore! For the Bailey-sex thing I did argue in favor of removing it, but that wasn't anything close to a Solo-Decision. There are 5 or more people usually involved in long-term decision making with PurityGuy and Vrelnir having the final say and veto power always.

Oh no, yeah. I think a lot of the anons have agreed that it wasn't a one-man decision. I figure most of them are more irked by your message of making fun of them. Even if it's done in a playful manner, not everyone will take it as so. Especially when they are probably already irked by the sex scene removal, your comment is like a fuel added to the fire 😔

Soft-Eden is OOC, I know a lot of people like his softer side and that's good. Not all of it will nor should be removed. Mostly the stuff to do with specific dates and going into town. I argue in favor that to not harm his character too much he should get more soft-evens down the line, especially once pregnancy content rolls in. He DOES genuinely care about PC, his actions, even putting PC in a cage and such come from a place of care and worry that unless he does these thing PC will not learn and will endanger themselves.

Thankfully the Eden stuff isn't as bad as the Morgan stuff. Morgan needs an ENTIRE rewrite.

Well I can't wait to see all Eden's rewrites and future new contents. Love me their delusional romance ass <3 Also lol, I don't know anything about Morgan, so I'm just going to take your words on that. Definitely sounds like a lot of work for y'all to do behind the scene, so best of luck on that o7

I can't comment much on the topic of Abortion in-game. It's just something we don't want to engage with. +As both cults in town (Yes tbh even the Temple is a cult), worship life and giving birth no one in town would even be willing nor able to perform it. (Yes I know this can easily be written off as just the writers being puritanical but there are just some topics we don't want in the game. It's not a pure sandbox, it's not just a life-sim. There are gonna be endings, permanent consequences, etc in the game. I think people have a right to choose what topics, fetishes, etc, they wanna engage with, and especially CREATE with as Developers, Writers, etc.)

That's a fair reason, yeah! I think if you were open about this reason being why abortion won't be in the game, it could dissuade a lot of the player's dissatisfication. The main reason why it was such a big issue is I think because no one from the dev team seems closed off about it when asked!

Another thing to note is that DoL has become HUGE, and so it's rather obvious why we'd want to steer so clear from mentions or sexualization of children. We really do mean it when we say the NPCs, LIs, etc are all adults. I'm well aware in fiction for many people anything goes. I've written Ao3 fics, I'm not entirely clueless. The dead dove has been eaten. It's chewy. But yeah, some things are just hard No because we or find it off-putting, immoral or it's outright illegal and could get people like Vrelnir in trouble. Even more so because he makes a living from DOL and donations earned through it.

That makes senses! I know a lot of commerical platforms don't allow sexual portrayal of underage or children character even in fictional context, and I have seen some notable artists being banned entirely for loli/shota contents. But it's also still fair to avoid that just cause the dev team are squicked by it. At the end of the day, it'll be rather unhealthy to create something that actively discomfort you :')

If you have any more questions feel free to ask! I'm basically terminally online most days, sometimes I just dip and aren't seen, but I should be around to talk today until the evening.

I do have to say you've been pretty reasonable and communicative, that's really what actually inspired me to reach out. I'm used to communication being just shut-off or one-sided but you did ask genuine questions and put forward some good points.

Once again, thank you too! I'm glad my overall impresson have been mostly positive 💖

+My evilness is mostly an act to keep the server Dev-Focused and not cause me to tweak out after the 56500th mention of some fetish. (Yes, yes I'm well aware people are still gonna do what they want and it's a porn game server (even though we don't allow most kinds of NSFW talk, we don't have porn channels, etc) but I want to try to at least police the place a LITTLE bit... And I'm not always evil. I often feed chat little mini-fics and such.)

- Devil. Yes, the one with the red role in the server that appears when her name is mentioned. Yes I'm aware it's comedic.

Oh I forgot you're not IN THE SERVER so have no context for the last bit.

We have a Bot in the server that pings us in DMs when certain words (mostly slurs, insults etc) are mentioned and we get pinged for our names.

So people can literally *speak of the Devil* and I appear. Yes it's as funny as it sounds.

I do have to disagree with the 'evilness' that you act out. If someone is breaking the rules, as an admin, you have the right (even expectation) to moderate it! Be stern! Give out warnings, strike or a ban! But I just don't see how putting up this evil act is going to be helpful to prevent more rule breaking. It made it feels like there's no rule breaking happening because no moderation is being done, and that you're just picking on someone out of personal icks.

It's just overall off-putting, in my opinion. And bringing up contents made by users from their other social media unpromptly feels incredibly rude to me. They are all publically available, yes! But if someone were to suddenly show me an old, awful fan content I made without so much as a 'hello', it would definitely leave a bad taste to me - even if the intention are lighthearted and I know that, still won't change that it'll leave a bad impression to me.

On another note, the name mention is actually a really neat feature :0c So it still mentioned you even if a user didn't specifically mention you?

I tried to send that as an Ask btw, but it was far too long and so couldn't. You can screenshot this and share it, just please crop out my account!

Oh and if you're wondering yes I am aware who was sending you the long ass formal Asks, it's a friend of mine.

I do genuinely care about how the community feels and I felt it was good to reach out, I just needed their help to see if you were open to talking and how you felt and all that before I BELLY-FLOPPED into your DMs!

Oh, just remembered something I forgot to say.

SYDNEY IS VERY MUCH NOT A PURITYGUY SELF INSERT LMAO. LIKE VERY, VERY MUCH NOT SO. SYDNEY IS A SPINELESS PAIN HUMONCOLUS THAT IS DOOMED TO SUFFER. (I can explain what I mean if you have questions.)

I definitely think anon is just speculating, nothing that's concrete. I can't blame anon entirely though, it's not too hard of a comparison to make since PurityGuy's whole aesthetic is very much like that.

And ooh, I'd love to hear more about you mean by Sydney being a 'spineless pain humoncolus that is doomed to suffer' 👀🍿

I've also been curious about how the contributor system works? What changed now that prevent OOC writing from occuring again, or to lessened it instead? 🤔

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

okay, this is a genuine attempt to engage, i promise! i'm just too cowardly to go off anonymous. personally, i don't disagree with the core things these people are getting at, even though i really disagree with how they go about it.

it's true the creator of TLOU has drawn from the real-world conflict in gaza. he's on record framing it as like "desperate, conflicted people on both sides" narrative, which i think is fucked up when the reality is there is one side of that conflict that endures greater suffering due to power imbalances, racism, etc. i think that is true. it is my opinion (and obviously does not have to be yours!) that TLOU is deeply flawed in framing a real-world conflict with this “both sides” narrative. and i do agree media like this doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it shapes how people understand real-world power, violence, and oppression. i do wish the fandom made more space to discuss how that potentially reinforces the problem, but they're so incapable of doing it without descending into personal drama. they make it about them and not about wanting to actually talk about this because well... this is tumblr so obviously it's curated af and they can't escape their own egos. anyway, i'm not trying to preach here but i'm genuinely curious like, does that not kind of reframe why some people are like, "this is torture porn?!" perspective?

i think the way those two particular blogs that have been named already are going about this is so immature. they made posts on their blogs calling out behavior rather than directly engage with you because theoretically, even if you were calling them out specifically in your original post, i had no idea that was what was happening until they created a narrative saying so and until they perpetuated the drama with their attention-seeking behavior. like publishing that shit on their blogs and claiming they're trying to have a conversation... anyway... i guess i would like to TRY to have a normal convo about this.

i dont know any of the people who are i guess making sub posts about me. again, ive not been tagged in anything, and i dont go seeking out hate posts about myself so lmao. they can continue to circlejerk.

tell ya what. im going to talk about the CONTEXT and TIMEFRAME of Neil Druckmann's actions bc these things matter and are routinely glossed over by people who would rather water things down so they're easier to digest. In depth, complex discussions that acknowledge grey areas aren't as easy as just screaming "ZIONIST!" at anybody who enjoys TLOU, but here's the former:

most of what I see people parroting is an opinion piece from 2020

here is an article from April of this year that does a decent job at condensing Neil Druckman's comments about Israel and Gaza and TLOU

here is an excerpt I think is worth sharing:

The impetus for Ellie’s trajectory in Part II came from Druckmann seeing footage as a teenager of Israeli soldiers being lynched in the West Bank. He couldn’t shake the fact that there were cheers after such violence. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me,” Druckmann told the Washington Post in 2020. “In my mind, I thought ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’” Once that anger subsided, Druckmann said he felt disgusted over his own fury. But that made him think about how humanity processes hatred. “I landed on this emotional idea of, can we, over the course of the game, make you feel this intense hate that is universal in the same way that unconditional love is universal?” 

In a 2023 interview with Haaretz, Druckmann was keen to note that being inspired by something and basing a game on something are two different things. “It was inspired by, not based on,” Druckmann said of The Last of Us Part II and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “That’s a really important nuance, because my inspiration is like my feeling towards a cycle of violence that I’ve experienced as a child growing up in Israel, growing up in the West Bank specifically, coming to the United States and observing it then from the outside, vs. being in it.” “This game deals a lot with tribalism,” Druckmann continued. “Sometimes tribalism on a very large scale, between two groups that are fighting for land—and again, that has obvious similarities to stuff that happens in the West Bank—but sometimes it’s tribalism within its own group…a sense of a group that feels righteous. And when you’re righteous, it’s very easy to diminish another group and say, ‘They are less than me, and I’m correct and they’re wrong, and therefore that gives me permission to inflict violence upon them.” 

It's possible to acknowledge Neil Druckmann's personal experience influencing themes throughout the story without oversimplifying it and deeming the entirety of it as Zionist propaganda. Him leaning into the worst parts of himself/humanity, being disgusted with his ability to lean so easily into that, and wanting to creatively explore it isn't Zionist propaganda. I think where people fail to make the connection in many of these statements is TLOU (both games and first season) was created prior to the events of Oct 7.

(IMPORTANT TO NOTE: this current conflict is another facet of an extensive history of conflict between Israel and Palestine. It's an incredibly chaotic, messy, and violent history that cannot possibly be summed up in this post alone. There is also the history of politics in Palestine itself that I recommend you read about.)

Neil Druckmann was born in 1978, decades into what we now acknowledge as the ongoing conflict. His first real exposure to the violence from the ongoing conflict would most likely be when he was a teen, which is what he references in that "kneejerk reaction" comment. The comments about being inspired by and not basing material on something were in April of 2023.

Now, let's talk about his actions after Oct 7. A few hours after the news broke, he posted an Israeli flag on IG with the caption Israel forever written in Hebrew. A few days after that he posted to twitter about a donation to an Israeli based charity Zaka, who purport themselves to be volunteer rescue and paramedics.

Let's take a minute to talk about Zaka. They have a weird history with questionable actions/leaders across the spectrum. Sometime in the mid 2010s they were given some privileges with United Nations. Zaka immediately started fundraising after Oct 7. A few months later a report came out that exposed the shadiness, purposeful misinformation, and mismanagement of funds by the organization.

Sometime in mid October, Druckmann tweeted about a donation to a Middle Eastern Red Cross humanitarian charity that isn't directly affiliated with any entity involved in the current conflict. The tweet highlighted that Playstation matched his donation, and he was thanking them. This tweet included both the Israeli flag as well as the Palestinian flag.

all this to say....

Surprise, surprise: a guy who spent some of his formative years in Israel has a complicated and oftentimes questionable-leaning-ugly conduct about Palestine.

Water is wet. Demanding that he retroactively apply current circumstances to his past self is not only impossible but also derails legitimate discussion and warranted critique; however, his trajectory is not one I'd readily align with a Zionist.

And bc I know some of you ignorant bitches lack media literacy, I'll make it easy for you:

Fuck Israel and their military state. The Palestinian people deserve freedom and peace, and yes even at times from their own presiding political groups.

catch ya later, Puddles

[archeryn]

Just Kat, You and Rue.

Basically like what if you, Katniss and Rue won because we need Rue alive guys

＊┈┈┈┈＊┈┈┈┈＊┈┈┈┈

✧ Before Marvel could throw/stab a spear at captured Rue, you come in and fight with him

✧ Things started getting bloody, but Katniss arrives and manages to shoot Marvel

✧ You both untie Rue (yay) and they tend to your booboos

✧ Then Claudius Templesmith makes the 2 winners from same district announcement. So that means either you and Katniss (district 12), Rue and Thresh (District 11), or Clove and Cato (District 2) could win.

✧ They call up a feast. You and Katniss decide to go while Rue stays safe in the cave.

✧ Katniss gets attacked by Clove but you come rescue her using your weapon, and you guys are chill with Thresh because he knows you're taking care of Rue. We chill like that.

✧ Unfortunately, Thresh does kill Clove in an encounter, and then he dies from the mutts. Then Foxface dies from nightlock you accidentally collected.

✧ You, Katniss and Rue seek higher ground on the cornucopia roof and so does Cato.

✧ He threatens Katniss by strangling you up with him, saying if she shoots him, you're coming down with him.

✧ You gesture Katniss to shoot his hand and it worked—he fell into the pool of mutations. Then Katniss kills him out of mercy.

✧ Since Rue is not from you and Katniss's district, Katniss pulls up the nightlock and explains if Rue isn't coming with them, nobody is going to win.

✧ And it worked. You 3 have been declared as winners. Though some people didn't like it because it was "too many victors" and "favoritism."

✧ The interviews, then the sad ride back to the districts. You and Katniss say your goodbyes to Rue before boarding the train.

✧ No worries, Rue visits you and Katniss every 2 weeks on Saturdays, and you two visit her the other 2 weeks on Fridays, basically seeing each other every week.

✧ Lmao you and Katniss are like the parents to little Rue

＊┈┈┈┈＊┈┈┈┈＊┈┈┈┈

GUYS MY BSF (KNOWS I LIKE KATNISS) AS A JOKE JUST GIVING ME NOTES AND STUFF ABOUT ME DOING SMTH NAUGHTY NAUGHTY WITH KATNISS?? AND IT'S 💀💀

made me giggle (in a bad way) so much in class bro I'm CRYING

Ty for checking out <33

(i need sleep not really wait yes no i probably should but i can't URGHHH no not yet but i want to)

[azaharinflames]

Some 806 spec, because these next two weeks, my God...

Forever thankful to Tim for not leaving us with a cliffhanger, but now I'm just lost as to what will happen in 806. We have no clues, other than whatever happens has to do with Tommy's past. We know Buck will spiral a little bit and will seek help from Bobby as well as from Maddie. And once he's talking with her, Josh will intervene and probably give Buck a nice perspective.

(side note: I think it's very telling it is Josh the one to talk with Buck, who is a gay man around Tommy's age. I do believe he'll be there to be a friend for Buck, but also to give him some much-needed perspective that Bobby and Maddie simply cannot give him)

We know, again from Oliver's interviews, that 806 has Buck and Tommy learning some (uncomfortable) truths about each other (although this can very well be just Buck learning something about Tommy, the wording here is vague on purpose) and some things they need to navigate and get through.

We also know post 806 Buck faces change, and that there is a lot of possibilities for him. And I will be fully honest here, the use of the word 'possibilities' definitely made me wonder if BT were breaking up in ep 806 - and in a way, possibilities was talking about Buck's love life moving forward.

However.

Firstly, it might be just me, but I think it would be a bit weird to speak of an upcoming breakup as 'a lot of possibilities' for Buck. It can also apply to it, which is why I am worried, but it also sounds a bit odd.

Secondly, I remind myself every day that Oliver wants Buck to get off the hamster wheel. That he wants him to finally have a mature relationship that works through its issues and doesn't crumble at the first obstacle. To break BT up now would go against everything he's said lately.

More so, in those interviews, he also refers to these hurdles as something that makes their relationship deepen (when the interviewer says this it is not as a personal take, but saying -not verbatim- that Oliver has mentioned this).

Even more so, the way they were portrayed in 805 didn't scream doomed to me. They were shown as a solid new couple, still learning about each other but working as a pair. Their portrayal was entirely optimistic - even if Tommy was skeptical, he still took care of Buck and fully supported him. He was there for him even for the funeral of a mummy. This to say - if they suddenly broke up in 806 that would be an extreme whiplash for the GA, who has just seen an episode where BT is presented as a great couple with no evident issues.

And there is one more thing. This screenshot from an interview Oliver gave:

Again. Using fun to describe a breakup does not make sense to me. It would be very tone-deaf, and we know from the past that Oliver is very careful about the words he uses as well as the one. It wouldn't make sense, just like it didn't make sense when he described ep5 as fun, and that side of the fandom claimed he was breaking up with Tommy, or discovering a deep, dark secret.

So. All of this (sorry, extremely long, I know. 806 is killing me and we barely know a thing about it) to say...

I think Bucktommy will have the main SL for Buck (I think Eddie will have the main ep SL) during the episode... but I think something else happens. That they'll be okay, and then something turns things around for Buck.

And I think these changes that apparently affect Buck post-806 are not to do with Tommy, but with Buck as an individual. And I think it might have to do as his future as a firefighter.

I don't know. This felt like a big ramble lmao.

Let me know what you think so I know I'm not the only one losing their mind <3

[chasedeys]

HI ME ASKING ABOUT JJKOC. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THEM AFTER THAT RAMS GAME. CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 STRAIGHT UP ANGSTTTTTTTT TALKKKKKKKK goddddddddd oh but like. disclaimer lmaooo i keep saying that for all my shit but for real i wasn't really present for that game 😭 i was away for my death i fear so like. i know bits and pieces of that game by which i mean i saw koc mad and jj fucking. devastated. and like. ashen faced. and like. that pr perfect face locker room interview. and answers im assuming lmao truly suchhhh a fascinating man the way he alwayssss has the perfect answer on hand!! was he built this way brick by brick coming into the league lol how has ja'marr differed so loudly from him in this aspect when they're so similar in so many other aspects ANYWAYS MORE UNDER THE CUT 😭 warning mentions of joemarr because of-fucking-course.....

but for real that rams game that i didn’t compute at all bc i was off tumblr and like. came back and was flabbergasted. holy shittttttt. justins face (beautiful. haunting.)…….koc spitting mad (hot. compelling.)……….oh my god…………....

but like. okay. so im like. not that good at angst tbh LMAOOO im more of a crack and joke kind of shitpost feel-good writer i fear but i will delve deeper into Comfort Dynamics!!

the thing is to meeee the way i seee itttttt ->

koc is soooo soft. he's such a?? good coach???? a players-coach is the word people use i think? you can see how much he cares so fucking deeply for his players not just like. as an athlete he has to move around as chess pieces on a board or players on a field but like. as a person. wait sorry i gotta mention this lol i've sent you this when we were like. comparing the vikes and lions game as like a basically who loves their coach more game LMAOOOO (also can i just say. it's objectively fucking hilarious. that dan campbell said. see you next week. to koc. and um. um. um. BUT ANYWAYS.) but do you know depaola has like a mug of my coach is hotter than your coach aksaskfl THAT'S SO???? (justin and harri also have a hawk statue?? with patched up holes these men are so. just. god why are they like this akfaklsf) BUT LIKE you can seeeeee you know that he loves them and they love him and they're comfortable with him!! that's speciallllll arhrgrhrghh soooo happy he's extending lmao BUT TO THE JJKOC OF IT ALL SORRY got distracted by ko's insane charisma lmao

koc's soooo soft, he has sooo much fun teasing his players and them teasing him back, and justin is no exception!!! seeking him out and throwing at him and needling at him and justin doing his nasal ass laugh delightedly whenever ko gets within even 30 yards of his vision and needling him right backkkk they have so much funnn teasing each other its so!!!! cute to me!!!!!!!

like. that's comfort!! that's a nice ass basis to have for a relationship!!!! something to look forward to when you know you're getting to a shitty ass situation and you know you're in the last quarter it's the last 3 minutes and your quarterback (sam....im also so sad about sam btw.....that clip of sam hoisted to the air and ko looking fondly at his team and then. flash forward to their last game. wow.) just threw another fucking pick (i have no idea how the game went btw lmao just that it was um. shit. and sam was um. shit.) because he's throwing to the ghosts of his teammates past apparently who the fuck knows and this is the nth time of your fucking life that you're falling short in the post-season and you're looking to your left and it's your coach and his face is rigid and he's staring at you evenly but he can't keep looking at you he has to be at 5 places at once and you close your eyes and all you can see is darkness but you're the face of the franchise the star of the game there's nothing dark about you not since 20 fucking 19 the stadium lights pulsing into the back of your eyelids as the crowd roars disjointedly pounds your eardrums making you sway and stutter and feel like you're disappearing and reappearing in and out of reality but if you just dig deep you can imagine him—him—pressing his cold fingers into your bicep during winter practice making you yelp in affront and imagine looking up and seeing him laughing at you crinkly eyed and rosy cheeked and so fucking handsome it makes your heart clench up and you hope he doesn't see the way it's leaping forward right at him and he's saying to do your stretches i get you're 20-something but come on now and with that you're shrinking back to reality but you keep that minute paradox of cold-warmth loud-quiet crowded-alone memory to center yourself so you won't break down into tears to be caught in front of all those 4k cameras waiting to capture their next 30 second viral clip to burn over and over and over until you're nothing but just a typed out what a waste of talent there in the vikings get justin jefferson out of there in every single social media account you aren't even really a part of but can't get out of because you have a record breaking contract saying you have to have them. you look to the left and he's gone but the memory of him is etched in you so deep it's enough. you sit on your bench and wait for another chance to fight and it might not be enough but knowing that he's there is enough for you for anything. your hands are so fucking cold but at least that minute warmth isn't just a minute, not really. wow. not rereading all that <3 hope there isn't a typo or grammar error and it makes sense <3 and like not disgustingly corny wow should i reread it.. no ok wow no. BUT ANYWAYS.

justin simultaneously looks like he wants to break down into tears and like he wants to pick a fucking fight. something like ja’marr lmao augh love me a good justin ja’marr parallels why is that i think like. they’re both so good at picking fights and shit at letting people be kind to them. (well no. i think like. justin's better at knowing who he can pick fights with and who he can't. and keeping people away via spinning words and poof they're gone with literally zero trouble. while ja'marr's better at ignoring people because he cares very little for those who aren't really up to his standards whatever the fuck that is. but well that leads to not so good things. but yeah very good at picking fights when they really want to lmao.) and so confused at people wanting to be soft with them. at people choosing to not be like high strung competitive and sharp the way they usually are with each other (which they love and appreciate about each other, btw)!! (see: tee with ja’marr! joe pursuing ja’marr with like. a way that he isn’t used to. a devotion he isn’t used to being on the receiving end. MOREEE ABT THIS IN THE ENDDD which is so very typical sorry).

like justin is not used to. like wait okay so. you see ko poking fun at him!! teasing smiles pokey and jokes and jabs and sharp at times knows when to make it pointy but knows boundaries and that’s the kind of thing he’s used to! that’s the bro ish friendship he’s used to in lsu etc etc competition with ja’marr being a receiver under joe etc etc butttt. kos also so good at like. soothing him. he’s good at picking him apart. being soft with him. when justins needling at him trying to get a rise kos being indulging and when justins purposefully trying to get him angry at him he’s intuitive and gets justin to settle down and breathe. gets him to unclench his jaw lower his spikes soften his brow unsharpen his tiger claws he still wields even if he isn’t a tiger in name anymore and the first time ko ever does this justin runs away spooked new coach what the hell is he doing. i think justin didn't have the best experience with his previous coaches too? not sure abt this lmao but like. koc is definitely a wholeeee ass upgrade im sure. and that’s so. he’s intrigued. he’s charmed. kos always offering him a handsome smile. a warm hand on his shoulder on his bicep on his hip. a little how many times do i have to tell you to stretch i get you’re young but come on now. a little hey made some cinnamon rolls yesterday you want some? c’mon now you’re fit you don’t need any diet grab three i got you. here you look cold wear my jacket keep it it looks good on you. clicking his tongue applying antiseptic on his turf burn and pressing bandages over it even when justin laughs over his mothering tendencies. that overly long ass explanation of his mic'ed up moment too btw that shit was so. why the hellllllllllll did he go on such a long tangent just saying shit about his 'world class relationship' with justin just to say he was mic'ed up while pretty princess justin jefferson laid there all pretty and proper trying to stretch oh my god. ko you are so....and justin you are so......

but anyways. post game. silent. bus ride. plane. vikings stadium? im assuming? restless. justin fucking struggling but he's always been picture perfect. he's already said his peace with sam, who's clearly haunted (i truly do not know what to say about sam 😭. like....girl.......also question is like jj mccarthy playing next year lol. will sam like. return...he's also in the probowl right. which. wow.) and koc finally has a chance to lock in justin jefferson who has been avoiding him for some reason. clearlyyyy this man knows that ko is the person who would. understand him most. who would. pick apart his bullshit pr perfect exterior. then pick apart his next layer of spikes and snarls and a whole other set of perfect words to be said to instigate a fight. always knowing exactly what to fucking say. justin jefferson. is his major communications lmao what the hell made him to be this way i am sooooo. and so koc has his hands all up around the sides of his neck even when jj is snarling at him to shut the fuck up who the fuck does he think he is acting like justin is some kind of child to tend over he's an adult he doesn't need to be coddled over a loss this isn't some high school rusted consolation trophy—and koc has his head ducked down to press over justin's forehead, shushing him, telling him he's so fucking proud of him this season, telling him he's one of a fucking kind, that he's never been so amazed at a player before, that he's never had the pleasure of coaching someone so talented before, that he wished he played with someone like justin—with justin, that he was justin's quarterback, if he was even worthy of him, that he'd do just about anything to get justin a fucking ring, and justin's breaking into tears at the press of skin, at the spill of words, at the sincerest of voice, at the way this man believes in him like no other before, at the way that even with the loss he knows that it never really is one because he has it with him, with koc, so whatever the outcome is—it's okay. god that's corny as shit im so sorry but anyways they kiss. salty as hell because justin's crying all those pent up tears. and ko's kissing up his wet cheeks over his lids pressing down on his cheekbones telling him he's so pretty even when he cries but hey isn't his head hurting why doesn't he let up and show him his pretty smile instead so ko can also get to some healing of his own and justin starts beating at his stomach smiling through his tears complaining thats so fucking cheesy oh my god did he just imply justins smile heals him shut the fuck uppppp. they don't fuck? maybe they fuck who knows. they're exhausted thoughhhhh so maybe they fuck like. the day after 😭

ALSO. IT'S SO. all of justins faces of like. him staring besotted heart eyes at koc is so. wait no i'll talk abt this in the other ask lmao BUT LIKE this is truly insane to me....the hell is wrong with him.......girl the fuck.........and i think like. koc has this man looking at him like this and has him. pupils dilating like crazy....

(a little joemarr off tangent lol boy jjmarr parallels sorry they’re like. twin flames. to me. joes like this to ja’marr too but not exactly? joe isn’t soft per see. he’s so fucking pushy he’s an entitled brat to ja’marr's space at times and that’s the thing that draws ja’marr to him because ja’marr has never once had someone be that into him. be that interested in him as a person not just as an athlete or as a warm body. joe wants all of him and that makes him cave. joes isn’t naturally soft but he’s learning how to be because its ja’marr—it makes him want to be and that fucks ja’marr upppp looking at this man being this way about himmmm is it really a wonder that ja’marrs a bit well a lot lmao crazy about him right back. aauguhgu corny asssss but whatever we move on i have to. go 😭)

also. if i had even a reach of understanding of the vikings rosters personality the way i do the bengals. how is that like oh my god i fucking adore the bengals i could write fucking pages of their stupidity and like. characters and personality??? like i get them?? sort of. obviously surface stuff what they show and what not but like. i can't do it about the other team rosters???? pisses me off. why is that. i watch their shit too. sort of lmao. i think bengals are just. truly my beloved 😭

[dickgraysonsptsd]

Okay not hate please hear me out- 1) Jason shot Damon once in the chest him getting shot seven times was by pink haired motorcycle guy (flamingo?) Jason was involved in that fight as they were both fighting him 4 v 1. As a Jason fan I see people attributing violence Jason didn’t commit to Jason because he happens to be there so it is just funny to see it happen. Not defending Jason, he shot damian in the chest to distract dick and run away in bftc 2) Jason fans are pulling all kinds of gay homosexual subtext out of especially winicks writing irt Bruce I know you have a storied gay history of gay dick and Bruce (is that mostly from the Adam W show? I don’t really go to dick Bruce so idk) so like is it just that if you like a character enough you start fomenting incest? At the end of the day good post ty for taking the time to write it

true, thank you for the correction!! flamingo is the one who shoots damian in the spine, idk why i've had it in my mind this whole time that it was jason?!?! i think because i was mostly paying attention to jason in this issue rather than anyone else (i really love morrison's jason lmao). i corrected my last post <3

i didn't personally see brujay undertones written into winick's uth comic the times i've read it and i haven't gotten any sense from winick's interviews about it that he intended for jason to have attraction to bruce (though it's not like dc would have let him say it openly if he did, but he does know how to step around questions in this era to imply that jason is bi without breaking dc rules, so...?? idk).

to me it comes off very strongly as the one "real" father/son batman/robin relationship at the time--they see each clearly as father and son with no other relationship elements mixed in. that's jason's dad bruce and that's bruce's son jason. and that's what makes jason's death and its aftermath so devastating for both of them, and it's part of what has jason convinced that he's bruce's true heir in bftc and lost days. and winick goes pretty heavy-handed implying gay shit when he feels like it so i'm inclined to think he intended jason to be bi but NOT to be attracted to bruce?? personally?? i will seek out analyses of brujay subtext in winick's writing though because i want to know what people are reading there!!

i do support all brujayers, please fill the world with more dadson incest. especially with jason topping because i firmly believe he deserves to fuck bruce about all of his issues and there is nowhere near enough top jay brujay out there 🥺👉👈

[bigbellybelle]

If you don’t mind me asking, what got you into the Feederism community?

Alright everyone story time, gather round. And I'll tell my journey :3 also I'm like, super high so this is gonna be reaaaally rambly

So in my first relationship I asked my partner at the time if they had any kinks. I'm asexual and at the time I was *violently* compensating cus I thought something was wrong with me, so I was weirdly comfortable about sex cus I just didn't care for it and figured everyone else loved talking about it. I made a lot of people very very uncomfortable lmao.

Anyways I asked about his kinks and he was into inflation and feet and a couple other things. And like the lil autistic I was, who happened to be super interested in sexual psychology at the time, I started looking up examples of everything and reading about how they're caused and I listened to interviews and whatever other nerdy shit I could do. And eventually I got really damn interested in inflation and I ended up learning how to inflate myself with my mouth cus im super cool like that. And then I eventually found fat models on the internet and they just looked so soft and cozy and I just kinda loved looking at them. And eventually I realized I'd actually gained a bit of weight by accident and I just felt soft and I loved it~ and I really just wanted to gain a few pounds and see how it felt~ and now I kinda doubled my weight 😅😅😅

And then through that I just tried to seek out people like me cus I was obsessed with the idea of being fed. This was way longer than I thought it would be, hope it was worth the read :3

[bisexualdawnsummers]

due south for the fandom ask meme

my favorite female character: Victoria Metcalf. I find her fascinating and would love to read novel length fics about her pre and post Fraser life. I love a female villain in general, and I think Victoria is an example of a well done one. I love that she’s smart and competent, complex, and most of all, uncompromising. She does love (and hate) and want Fraser, but she’s not going to ‘go good’ for him. She doesn’t soften or learn the error of her ways, and I think that’s great. At the same time, I don’t think she’s portrayed as Pure Evil or cartoonish in her villainy, she’s still human.

my favorite male character: Ray Vecchio. For me, Ray is a case of if I loved him less, I could talk about him more. Idk, I just love him. I love how he grumbles and protests doing anything, but still goes along with everything – and usually ends up going above and beyond. I love how brash he can be. I love his fashion sense. I love how loyal and caring he is to everyone he loves. I love how he feels like a real, lived in character with real flaws to go along with all his good traits. I would like to write more, but again, thinking about him makes my brain overheat with love and meltdown.

my favorite book/season/etc: Season 1. Overall s1 was the best written and had the most cohesive character/story arc.

my favorite episode (if it’s a tv show): The Deal (THE Ray Vecchio episode) A big thank you to David Marciano for fighting for this one.

my favorite cast member: I guess I’d have to say Callum Keith Rennie (my birthday buddy!) as he’s the main reason I started watching the show in the first place. I’m more familiar with his work outside of due South than any other cast member. (However, my fixation on RayV has bled through into wanting to seek out more of David Marciano’s work - and listening to a few podcast interviews - so he’s catching up. I also love DM for fighting for RayV’s character. We wouldn’t have The Deal without him.)

my favorite ship: RayV/Fraser. THESE TWO!!! This ship just perfectly scratches at a very specific part of my brain. I love the way that Ray just instantly welcomes Fraser into his life, into his home (into his heart). The way he offers Fraser friendship and acceptance on a level that he’s probably not used to. I love that they have a sort of two sides of the same coin thing going on, how they are parts of a whole, how when they’re alone they are incomplete but together better than they are separately!!!

a character I’d die defending: Ray Vecchio. I’m lucky that I wasn’t around for the Ray Wars and didn’t have to fight against the ‘Ray Vecchio is Homophobic’ or ‘Ray Vecchio is a bad friend to Fraser’(LMAO) allegations that apparently were flung at him back then. I’ve encountered a bit of it in some fics and it makes me want to scream. (To be clear, I don’t mind if RayV has some internalized homophobic issues, I think that’s fair to explore, I’m talking about Ray being violent towards Fraser or refusing to be his friend if he’s gay type of thing. The stuff that is clearly written in bad faith towards RayV.)

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Hm, idk…maybe Pa Vecchio.

a character I grew to love: Meg Thatcher. I never disliked her, but I think I grew to appreciate her more in subsequent rewatches than on my first run through.

my anti otp: Hm, I’d have to say RayK/Stella, I guess, but only in an ‘endgame’ scenario. I actually find their relationship and history interesting and like reading about it in fics occasionally. I also love the idea of them reconnecting as friends because they are a very important part of each other’s lives. I just don’t like the idea of them rekindling their romance in any sort of permanent way. I think Stella makes it very clear that she doesn’t want to reconcile with Ray, so I hate to see that happen on her behalf. I feel like she had to work hard to put up boundaries to keep them from slipping back into old patterns, because while they clearly still care about each other, they’re ultimately not meant to be married. I think that’s why she tends to act so prickly towards Ray, to keep that wall up, and Ray might take any softness as encouragement. Also, I’m not a big fan of divorced couples getting back together in general. I’ve seen a lot shows/movies where couples divorce/separate, only to reconcile (usually without really addressing the issues that led to the separation in the first place), and I’m always like “Please let that woman stay divorced!”

Thank you so much for the ask! <3

[onlyhereforangst]

I don’t go here but you’ve mentioned chenford isn’t great. Do I know what Chenford is? No. Do I still know they broke up? Yes.

Pls share the fandom lore and ur thots 🎤

ok so.

chenford, or lucy chen & tim bradford- former rookie & training officer, respectively. the actual characters have been written so fucking phenomenally i barely have words (she says as if she isn’t about to just. go off). they have managed to truly incorporate authentic human flaws and emotions and decision-making into these characters which have, across six seasons, played out for gorgeous individual & paired character arcs. like they are GREAT are they in a great spot? no. but they are FANTASTIC.

now.

if you were to ask the fandom that same question. excuse me while i die laughing 💀 unfortunately the strikes really helped a large majority of the chenford fandom to twist canon into barely recognizable fanon and now that canon is back and progressing as it absolutely narratively should people are losing their gd minds. deactivating accounts, claiming their done with the show, touting that they’ve been manipulated a bold face lie if you have critical thinking skills but i digress. there’s a select few of us having the time of our damn lives, feeling blessed to have such good writing on a procedural????? of all things. unheard of. truly.

so yeah the fandom is Something because who doesn't enjoy a feast of delicious angst? i mean lucy cannot stop inserting herself into every situation, even her boyfriend who has repeatedly asked her to not because he is trying to protect her (this is it's own separate problem) but literally flinging yourself around outright screaming at your significant other is just. not it. i speak from experience 💀 this is not how you get someone to healthily tell you what's bothering them to the point of tears multiple times. its like if lucy isn't the default hero she just cannot handle? its insane and beautiful because its her tragic flaw coming to a glorious, screeching climax. AND meanwhile??? so is tim's!!!! his loyalty to a tragic fault got him in a bind and he doesn't know what to do and can't handle and thinks protecting the one he loves by shutting her out is the way to be most loyal to HER because suddenly he doesn't feel he deserves her so he's going to break his own heart since lucy was too polite to do it.

anyways this storyline has been blessedly built up with undertones and crumbs since literally the end of season 4 and the fandom acts like it was a total blindside. lmao honeys. have you watched the show??? plus its been teased in interviews for over a year i can't 😭

both characters have a LOT of growing and self-discovery to happen individually before they can even begin to consider being in a relationship. not when that relationship had been built on a foundation of subordinate-superior. that *shockingly* doesn't equate to a romantic relationship of equals and guess what?! it had its ramifications!!! miscommunication trope my beloved you slayed.

ok that was surely more than you wanted seek but a million voice notes to the like 2 people that have been calling this storyline with me since the beginning and the vibrating still isn't out of my system!!! cheers to the hate anons i'm sure to get if anyone takes the time to read this 🍻