#do not get me wrong i. am a perfectionist and want big things for this silly lil story

[agentmarvel]

center image by @/ave661

PART II

hitman!ghost x fat!reader (afab, fem) w/ arranged marriage

mdni - 18+; minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

rating: explicit

word count: 3,010

read on ao3

cw: toxic parenting, implied fatshaming, simon begins his descent into madness, so obsessive!simon

♡

It's irksome, the way Johnny fusses over Simon's bowtie. He keeps turning and twisting it in an effort to straighten it out, but the little perfectionist is just never satisfied.

“s'fine, Soap. Leave it alone.”

“Awa’ an bile yer heid. Damn thing's more crooked than yer nose, LT. Not letting ye get hitched lookin’ like a dafty.”

Simon sighs, rolling his eyes with a sly smirk. He's partial to the nickname, though neither of them served a day in their life. Well, not in the traditional sense, at least. But the semblance is a loyalty forged in sweat and blood; Johnny's been with him for years, a parting gift from Price. 

“He's a good lad, Simon - real salt of the earth type. Bit chatty, but he works as hard as his old man did. Think he'd do well with you.”

Simon thinks he truly understated the chatty bit, but as usual, was not wrong.

“Aye, there we are.” Johnny finally steps back, admiring his work. “Yer tie looks better now; shame we can fix yer ugly mug, though.”

“Oi, fuck off.”

Kyle snickers across the small room, straightening his cuff with a grin.

“Don't be such a git, mate. Not every day the big man gets married. Frankly, with a face like that,  doubted he ever would.”

“You're both fired,” Simon mutters, shaking his head as he moves towards the door.

“Where ye think yer goin'? She's not laid eyes on ye, so I dinnae think she's bolted yet.”

“Better give ‘er the chance then, yeah?”

He slips out the door with an amused hum before wiping his palms against his slacks. Never will he admit it, but a waxing sense of anxiety gnaws at his gut. It’s been years since he’s actually felt… nervous. Not since his first solo contracted kill. Treading unfamiliar territory stirs foreign feelings, but perhaps they’re not all bad ones.

To take the edge off, Simon decides to step out for a smoke. That wasn’t his intent initially, lest Soap bitch at him for disrupting the effects of his subtle cologne, but he’s willing to face the wrath for some nicotine. He pats his jacket, feeling the creased, misshapen cardboard pack in his breast pocket and looks for the nearest exit. It’s just a bit further down the hall.

But something stops him before he steps out. An argument behind another closed door.

“Of course I think you look nice! All I’m saying is that you could’ve put a bit of effort into losing more weight. I didn’t hire a top nutritionist and personal trainer just for you to not need more alterations.”

Simon recognizes that voice. Your father has an unmistakable level of condescension that drips off every word he says.

“And would it kill you to smile? It’s your wedding day, for Christ’s sake! Pretend you’re happy.”

“You’re not in any position to ask anything of me.” The response is acrimonious, venomous, and a voice that doesn’t ring any bells. It’s you. 

“Don’t you dare take that tone with me. I am your father, and you will do as I say.” The already bellicose tone swells as his voice raises, and Simon has half a mind to step in. A sense of fury burns within his chest. He should’ve known that someone with such a flagrant disregard for you behind your back would be just as derisive to your face. It’s crass at minimum, especially in the face of your own fucking child.

The only thing stopping him is the want for things to go smoothly today; a temporary ceasefire to ensure that he can fulfill his obligation.

Still, he feels a tug at his hollow heartstrings. No one deserves to be spoken down to in that manner, let alone on their wedding day. He’s certain you look stunning, and he’ll be sure to tell you as much when he finally gets to see you.

He’ll also be sure to limit contact with your father immediately after the marriage license is filed. Keeping that twat on a short leash ought to keep his beautiful bride in high spirits, yeah?

Before he can think better of his decision, Simon sees himself outside. Getting his fix does little to quell the rage stoked by his albeit unintentional eavesdropping. Before he knows it, he’s gone through half the pack and is about to light another when he gets a text from Kyle.

>>> It's time!

He takes the unlit cigarette from his lips and begrudgingly stows it away. Making his way back inside, his stride slows as he approaches the door to the bridal suite. It's partially open, and from what he can see, your father is conspicuously absent. You remain, however. 

It's hard to fathom how a man could be so cruel to such a creature of allure. In the most fleeting glance as he passes by, Simon's struck with a gravitational pull. You're the moon, he's the tide. At that moment, he wants nothing more than to turn back. He wants to make his presence known and promise you'll never face another day of derision after today. You'll never endure another vile word. A painful, gruesome death would befall anyone who treated you so disgracefully from this moment on. In that singular frame, Simon knows he'd break John's rules for you. He’d break his own rules for you. 

And he's never even spoken to you.

♡

Johnny's waiting for him just a few doors down. As Simon approaches, he sees Johnny’s nose wrinkle.

“Och! Ye smell like the alley behind a fuckin’ pub, ye reprobate. C'mere, ye fuckin’ oaf.”

As predicted, Simon supposes.

It's a quick fix, and Johnny rushes him off to the altar. Simon adjusts his jacket, buttoning it properly before taking a deep breath and pushing ahead. The room goes silent as several dozen eyes abandon their previous gazes to watch him. His confidence doesn’t waver outwardly. There’s no room for that. He keeps his eyes forward as he approaches the pulpit. A familiar face awaits him there in a fresh-pressed three-piece.

“Didn’t know you did weddings,” he laughs, low and clipped.

“Do funerals, too, if you know anyone in need,” John Price hums back with a grin. Simon offers a hand, one Price accepts with a quick, firm shake. “Good to see you, my boy. Been too long.”

“Not long enough if your chin hasn’t caught up with your chops yet.”

“Glad to see time hasn’t dulled your sense of humor.” It’s a dry response, but the creases at the corners of his eyes give away his amusement.

Idly, they chat, waxing philosophical to pass the time. Periodically, John checks his watch and looks into the balcony, but he doesn’t miss a single word Simon utters. Simon’s seen this before; something isn’t quite right, and Price is trying to suss out precisely what it is.

The door at the back of the chapel opens, and a small woman with wiry hair rushes up the aisle as fast as her little legs could carry her without breaking into a jog. She clambers the quartet of steps, looking a bit worse for wear. Sweat prickles her brow, her sunken eyes seeming to recede with each movement. John raises an eyebrow as if to ask her if she’s okay, but she ignores the unspoken concern.

“So sorry to keep you waiting, John. Bride had a little, eh, mishap, but we’re ready to begin.”

Simon opens his mouth to demand more detail, but Price shoots him a pointed look, the aim to keep the dog from barking as he reassures her, “Perfectly fine, Doris. Is the young lady alright?”

“Quite. She's just had a bit of a rocky morning. Nerves and all.”

She shrugs with a timid smile, like that'll placate the intense look of defensiveness on Simon's usually stoic face. He knows she's not being entirely truthful, but to whose benefit? 

Price gives her a curt nod and offers his arm to usher her to her seat. Her frail fingers curl around his elbow, blue veins protruding like a web of thread unspooled. She smiles at Simon sympathetically. They descend the short few steps in stagger, and he can’t help but wonder what it is that she knows that he doesn’t.

It doesn’t matter, he decides. After today, none of this really matters. The setting is a mere formality, born of a desire for flamboyancy and extravagance, neither of which have ever been in Simon’s wheelhouse. His preference for something simple and quiet was aggressively overruled from the start.

His eyes drift over the observers that casually mill about the pews. Only one bears any familiarity, the one patting an old woman’s hand before turning back towards the pulpit, while the rest look more like faceless mannequins, nondescript in the forward echoes of memory. 

John takes his place beside Simon, asking under his breath in close proximity, “Are you ready?”

Simon nods, folding his hands together in front of him and adjusting his stance to face the doors at the back of the aisle. In his periphery, he sees Price signal the woman who sits at the piano. She begins to play something Simon doesn’t recognize. Immediately, those stark moths flood to their seats like a bright bulb.

The doors open after a few measures, a pair of well-dressed ushers securing them in position. Shortly, the two pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen enter, timely and in sequence. The young women accompanied by Simon’s men are both bright-eyed and all smiles, but the air of wariness is not lost on anyone keen enough to notice. Circumstantially, this wedding is dubious at best, and if they’re close enough for you to ask them to join the wedding party, then they’re close enough to know the truth.

He’s under no illusion that you’re an overtly willing participant in any of this. You were blindsided. Out of the blue - no warning, no inkling - being told over dinner that your father is not the man you always believed him to be, that you’ve been promised to a stranger to improve business prospects, that you’re seen as a pawn rather than a person. Simon feels vaguely guilty for the turmoil, but seeing the lack of consideration for you truncates it. You’ll be better off by his side. That’s not the fanatical part of his brain speaking; it’s factual. 

When he hears the music change from a simple, tedious tune to a melodic version of the traditional bridal march, reality pulls him back into his body. His gaze locks on the doorway. For the first time - the first real time - he gets to see you.

You look god damn gorgeous. There’s no other way to describe it.

The dress is bright white, almost blinding. Crystalline and pearl accents around the neck and waist lines reflect sun rays from the windows, giving you an ethereal glow. Delicate charmeuse drapes some of your curves while tulle hides others (much to his dismay). Simon swears the halo above your perfectly styled hair isn’t a trick of the light. You look like a fucking angel - his angel.

His heart is racing, raging against the cage of his ribs like the bars of a prison cell. It wants to escape, break free and put itself in your hands. The pace of his breathing has quickened, palms beginning to sweat, and a foreign euphoria falls over him like mist. His lips curl into the smallest expression of joy, barely detectable, and John nudges him with his elbow.

“Congratulations, my boy. She’s a beauty.”

A sense of pride swells in his chest at that.

Halfway down the aisle, you finally look up at Simon. In the span of seconds, your expression rolls through a series of emotions; bitter, then a mite of surprise, confusion… then admiration and ire.

You take on a more timid look as you approach, though, fingers wrapped loosely around the inside of your father’s elbow. Despite the narrowness of the aisle, you’re still positioned as far away from him as you can be. The anger is palpable, rolling off you in waves. Just beneath the surface, an indeterminable despair. You don’t want to be here, don’t want to be anywhere near that bastard or Simon himself. He may not have gotten to know you in the traditional sense, but he knows human behavior all too well.

You’re hurt. Betrayed. Defiant.

The iniquity of it all gnaws at his bones as he extends a hand to you. He watches your snake of a father wrenches your wrist with a hollow smile to pull you closer before taking your fingers in his with a brutish grip.

“Do you give this woman to be married to this man?” Price asks, an obscure grit of disapproval at the display thickening his voice.

“I do,” your father answers, tugging your arm forward in an offering of your hand.

Simon takes it gently, savoring the feeling of your soft, manicured fingers sliding across his rough, calloused palm. You lift the hem of your dress with your free hand, taking each step like it’ll delay the inevitable. There’s a tremble in your touch, undoubtedly apprehensive, uncertain, scared.

When you’re settled on the top step, you glance at your father with pleading eyes. His expression is stern and hardened. He mouths an inaudible warning before turning to take his seat, and Simon swears he sees the last shreds of your stubborn will collapse. 

Quietly, you hand your bouquet to the bridesmaid just behind you before placing your other hand into Simon’s waiting one. Tears spring up in your eyes, and he gives you the softest squeeze.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers so softly that even Price almost misses it. Your eyes shoot up to his. “Let’s just get through this, yeah? We can talk about everything when we don’t have an audience.”

You nod.

♡

It all passes in a haze, like Simon’s somehow running on autopilot while still autonomous in part. Both your vows and his were written by the wedding planner with significant input from your parents. An effort to hide the clandestine nature of the nuptials, he supposes. He recites his from recall, trying to place emphasis where needed like code. Yours, however, have him rapt. While he knows the words are not your own, something about hearing you profess your love ignites a spark within him. Hell, he nearly misses his cue for the ring because he’s so focused on absorbing your presence, memorizing every detail of the way you look right now.

One thing snaps him from his infatuated stupor: “You may now kiss the bride.”

He eyes you warily, seeking any sign of discomfort. There are no sirens sounding, no postings of danger, no flashing warning lights. You’ve resigned yourself to the moment’s arrival, and Simon does not hesitate. His hands curl around the roundness of your cheeks, slotting you into his palms like you were made to fit. The tilt of his head falls opposite yours. 

Slowly, he leans forward. Leisurely so as not to alarm you. Your breathing hitches just a hair as he closes in. The tips of your fingers settle against his chest as he reels you closer. His lips barely brush yours, a hint of strawberry as your gloss transfers in brief contact, and you draw him nearer until you reconnect.

It consumes him wholly now, the spark, engulfing his entire being. Flames of desire lick up the base of his spine, rising until your fingerprints are blistering his skin. He’s melting into you, embers glittering as they rise up and away until he’s nothing more than ash, staining every inch of you he may ever touch with a permanent marking that can’t be scrubbed away. Your name is branded on his chest, now and forever. In every way, he is yours.

Price is kind enough to wait until the kiss ends to formally announce the departure of Mr. and Mrs. Simon Riley with a reminder that a reception will occur at a later date. Simon takes your hand in his and briskly leads you back down the aisle, grateful for the guise of a honeymoon flight to stave off a night of questioning and awkwardness.

It’s not a honeymoon that awaits, but rather a lengthy flight back to Manchester. Movers cleared out your apartment this morning, carting it to the tarmac to load. Another crew will be waiting to unload it the moment you touch down.

Simon hopes you’ll be able to get some rest during the flight. You needn’t lift a finger, don’t worry; he’s just concerned for the dark circles hidden under your make-up, the torn bits of skin around your nails, the way your voice rings unsteady and uneven in the moments you’re alone with him.

It’s understandable that you don’t trust him yet. You don’t know him quite as intimately as he knows you. You’re afraid, unsure of what comes next. The life you knew is in upheaval, disrupted by years of lies and deceit. You don’t know what’s real anymore. You doubt everything. Who knew the truth and didn’t tell you? Are your friends even really your friends? Did your parents ever love you, or were you always just a puppet? The strings are too tangled to separate at this point, so you might as well accept your fate and cut them.

You sob into his chest, tears soaking through his white button down. It’s taken so much out of you, hasn’t it? And now you’re here, spilling your guts to a man you don’t know as he holds you, dutifully and steadfast.

One more hour, and you’ll be away from all of this. He won’t lie to you, he won’t hide things from you. You’ll never have to question yourself or the people around you again. You’re getting the life you deserve now.

It’s okay to trust him, sweet girl. Tell him all your secrets, let him in, let him live in your skin, burrow deep in your mind. Simon will keep you safe. At any cost.

part iii

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

Can you do a set of headcanons of Dallas with a perfectionist reader? Like someone who stresses out before a test or beats themself up when they get a bad grade (and it's not even a bad grade, it's just slightly lower then they thought they'd get.)

A/N: Oh I liked this one. I liked it a lot- thanks for the request! Sorry it took so long!

I wrote this during my anatomy class instead of paying attention, so yeah! Hope this turns out well, I hope you guys like it-

I’m gonna do general headcanons for this one?

I’ll definitely include the scenario you gave me, but I think I’ll have more talk about this way-

In general, Dally really couldn’t give less of a crap about going to school and he honestly thinks you’re kind of a weirdo for stressing out so much about the grades you’re bringing home

He just doesn’t see the point to it, ya know? Like he’s basically a dropout, I bet you he never really goes to school anymore, so he really just can’t wrap his head around why it gets you so dialed up

He’s very unhelpful when it comes to your studies

That’s all.

He’s just unhelpful.

When you’re studying? He’ll purposely shuffle up your papers, steal your pencils, mix up your stuff and just generally be a little nuisance

He does it cause he gets bored when you’re not paying attention to him so ya know, good luck getting yourself out of that mess with him, that behavior really isn’t going anywhere anytime soon

Dal’s absolutely astounded by your grades though- all those 100s and high 90s?

That’s miles ahead of what he was getting when he was still in school and it seems like you do it so easily, just like getting good grades is in your nature

Which, ya know, circles back to kick you in the butt because the minute you bring home something in the low 90s, high 80s range, your world is absolutely wrecked and Dallas doesn’t understand at all

When you start to go bonkahs though, and run yourself into the ground just because you got one question wrong, that’s where Dally kind of steps in and really calls you out on it

He’s going to say that you’re being ridiculous and he means it, he genuinely thinks that you’re being ridiculous because why does one missed question mean so much anyway??

You guys have a big argument of course, because the one thing you should never do is tell a perfectionist that they don’t have to be perfect

So you guys fight and you sulk off to your respective places before comes back, not to properly apologize, but to take you out to the diner or drive-in or something as a faux apology

He still thinks you get a little bit ridiculous about your grades, but now he’s smart enough not to run his mouth off about it, he does get mad though if you refuse a date because you have to study, Dal, I’m sorry

Insert Mr. Winston saying whatever, if you’re studying at home, I’m just gonna sneak in your window and claim that it’s a study date

Let’s just say…studying can get very…hands on…when Dally decides he’s going to crash your lesson cramming sessions 

Don’t think too hard about the phrase cramming sessions because I am NOT getting in trouble for that one but ya know….heh-

ANYWAY

Dal calls you a nerd, a bookworm, a dork, a geek, but mah boy will not hesitate to throw down if someone else calls you those things

Dallas, admittedly a little bit of a bully, does not like it when other people try and mess with you, so boy’s got you covered

I can definitely see him trying to get you to skip school, especially if he’s fresh out of the cooler or reform or something and honestly? He just wants to spend time with you, and it hurts his feelings a little when you’d rather go to school

It’s all about that perfect attendance, okay? All about that attendance record-

But maybe your last period never takes attendance anyway and maybe Dallas just so happens to be waiting outside and you just maybe get your best friend to cover for you so you can skip one class to go out with him <3

Overall?

I can see this dynamic working, at least for a little while-

Despite the fights that are bound to occur, Dallas does enjoy you being a genius and he’ll brag about you to the gang, telling Darry he needs to start hanging your report cards up on that old fridge

Dallas does his best to keep you from driving yourself to burnout and I’ve got this mental scene of you trying to teach him something you’re working on and he just kind of cuts you off in the middle of talking to give you a kiss because he hasn’t been listening to you for the past five minutes but his eyes have been locked on your lips and he’s pretty sure that he doesn’t know the answer but he knows he wants to kiss you real bad-

[reidslovely]

being academic “rivals” with peter

rivals in quotes because you two obviously like each other but are choosing to hide behind witty banter till one of you builds up the courage to ask the other out

maybe you’re a total perfectionist and never really take breaks so you become really stressed out and finally reach a breaking point and peter is just like ‘baby :(’ and he just holds you + maybe takes somewhere to help you relax

I love this trope..because I am a perfectionist in my work. And though I have never really had an academic rival I do heavily relate to mirrorball by Taylor Swift. Anywho..I think this trope is so perfect for Pete! So picture this...

Riding the subway home from your last lecture of the day was the most exhausting experience. Your earbuds were shoved uncomfortably in your ears as you stared blankly out of the window watching the tiled walls of the subway speed by. Your professors voice grating against your ear drums, it was almost enough to make you cry.

It actually brought you to tears.

Finals were coming up, and not only were you competing with yourself and your need to be greater you were competing with Peter Parker.

Biochem genius, your academic rival, and your..boyfriend. It's a funny story, a long story but a fun story. Long story short, too many long nights in the lab working against each other turned into long nights working with each other and helping one another gain points against one another.

No matter how much you loved him, and his dumb little face you had to do better on your finals than he would. A very nice vacation was riding on it: if you got the better grade you two would break open your savings and head up to a cute little cabin you'd been wanting to stay at. If Peter got the better grade you were going to spend a week in Vegas..both were a great option but one was more peaceful and less overstimulating than the other. Your head dropped onto your hand for a moment staring at the dunks in front of you. Your eyes looked up at the lanky figure in front of you and Peter stared down, he was obviously picking up on something you weren't. The subway cart came to a jolting holt you scrambled to your feet, grabbing Peters hand as he led you both out of the cart and up the steps. He reached down slowly pulling the earbuds out of your ears.

"Enough of this, relax." Peter says kissing your head softly. He tucked the earphones into your pockets as you neared his apartment. You felt your gut sink, you knew that he had good intentions but it also felt like he wanted you to fail. Once in the apartment you sat on the couch cracking your book open finishing up rewriting your notes the lecture now playing outlaid from your phone. Everything sounded jumbled and like one big sentence, why was this not sticking what was wrong with you? Why couldn't you get your brain to work? "Baby, c'mere." Peter's body weight drops down over the back of the couch, kissing your cheek softly. "Enough you've prepared enough, no more of this. You're burning out." "I'm not.." You deny the tears already building up in your eyes. He climbs over the back of the couch pulling you between his legs. Pushing books off to the table, and turning the lecture off. "I'm backing out of the bet." He says. "It was stupid. I thought it would be fun but it's put to much on you, so here's what we are gonna do." He speaks softly rubbing patterns on your back. You look up at him, tears finally falling. "We are gonna take our final on Friday and on Saturday morning we are driving up to that cabin and you are not gonna lift a finger okay? No studying, no research work, no spider-man things. Just us. Okay? You just have to promise me one thing?"

"Mhm?" You ask wiping your tears away. "You just do your best and show up. Can we do that?" You nod your head slowly resting your head against his chest, he lowered his head kissing your forehead softly. "Besides, I was gonna let you win either way." He laughs, the vibration off his chest bouncing joy into yours causing you to smile.

[yothangie]

Mini series Masterlist

this masterlist will contain all my mini series lined up for me post, I will not post these in age order but in a order i feel comfortable with posting whichever i can write the quickest 😭

WARNING: These are all angst 😭 i am so sorry

Taglist for mini series (1)

Hongjoong

Meant to be

pairing: rockstar Hongjoong x Ballerina fem reader

Genre/warnings: forbidden lovers au, toxic relationships, mentions of cheating, smoking, drinking, semi abuse (not hj), will have heavy topics, angst, blood, family perfectionist.

Summary: Being part of a very sophisticated family comes with its ups and down, getting connections to the dance world as it’s your dream to perform, and having strict parents who only want what’s best for you. Being in a relationship with Hongjoong also has its ups and downs, your parents disapproving and not having time for each other on the plus side you get a talented loving boyfriend. Or so he used to. With his band on the rise to fame he barely has time for you, things stir up when you meet another dance prodigious during a performance.

Seonghwa

Who could ever learn to love a beast?

pairing: Bad boy Seonghwa x Fem Reader

genre/warnings: toxic relationships, gaslighting, manipulation, toxic seonghwa, possessiveness, jealousy, slight suggestive content MDNI, angst, mentions of smoking, drinking, alcoholic, drunk seonghwa at one point.

Summary: Seonghwa your typical bad boy, an overly jealous and possessive boyfriend. Was he always like this? yes he was. But how did you end up with a guy like him you definitely deserve to be treated better than this. Would you ever think about leaving him? how your life would be if seonghwa was different?

Yunho

Where the sea sleeps

Pairing: Surgery Yunho x Oceanography fem reader

Genre/warnings: Loser in love, mentions of the ocean, sea life, student reader. angst, gaslighting, stress, school life, drowning.

summary: You didn’t think you would have stuff in common with a surfer, i mean he didn’t either. He was loser who fell for you, but you suddenly fell harder. Spending the summer with your grandparents at their beach house learning more about ocean life. It felt like a perfect opportunity as they live on the beach. Yunho a common surfer at the beach, knows nothing about the ocean life but surfing, a sudden meeting, a sudden connection, future bf?

Yeosang

It was all a lie

Pairing: upcoming ceo yeosang x BFF friend reader

Genre/warnings: fake dating au, one sided love, family issues, angst, accusations, mentions of cheating, hatred,

summary: upcoming CEO Kang Yeosang, being forced to marry another upcoming CEO, hating such idea he turns to his best friend for help. Arranging to fake dating in hopes to get his parents to cancel the marriage, which was very convincing enough for them to do so. Fake dating for a few months cause you to grow feelings for Yeosang, yes he was your best friend and it was wrong, who were you to control your feelings.

San

I can’t love you the way you love me

pairing: sugar daddy san x uni student fem reader

genre/warnings: dilf san, of adult age 20+, san is in his late 30's, mentions of cheating, secret relationship, angst, ownership. stress, school life

summary: having troubles paying for your tuition can be tough, after your parents divorce it was hard enough for your dad to keep up with bills and such not having enough for school, your dads rich friend san decided to help out without his wifes knowledge. It may be hard keeping such a big secret when hes 14 years older than you, and he has a big friendship with your dad. But what happens when you suddenly fall in love? will he return the feelings or not?

Mingi

you’re the leader or wtv

Pairing: Wolf leader Mingi x Wolf leader

genre/warnings: angst, Suggestive content, mentions of blood, fighting, needles, makeout sesh or a few, smoking, chains, gore, character death, mentions of death and near death experiences if i think of anything else ill add here

summary: after being an abandoned wolf for so long you and your brother decided to raise a pack of other abandoned wolves. Being a danger to the supernatural community they were taken to Dr.Hans school for supernatural. Finding out you’re no longer a leader you grew hatred for the packs current leader.. Song Mingi. Will the connection grow overtime or will the hatred grow ?

Wooyoung

In another world

pairing: Single dad Wooyoung x Nanny fem Reader

genre/warnings: single dad au, character death, hospitals, sickness/disease. angst, cheating, toxic relationships, DILF wooyoung

summary: single father Jung Wooyoung, has a 4 year old daughter, his ex abandoning him when the baby was only a few months old. Struggling to take care of her de decided to hire a nanny, hiring you was one of his best mistakes. As he watches you bonding with his daughter he can’t help but fall in love. After finding out his daughter is sick his ex decides to come back to his life spending the last few moments as a “family” once again leaving you in the dust.

Jongho

All i wanted was you

pairing: childhood friend Jongho x Fem reader

Genre/warnings: reunited friends, childhood friends to strangers to lovers, mentions of past trauma,drama, smoking, drinking, cheating, gaslighting, hatred

summary: After being separated as kids, you never stopped thinking about Jongho, how much you’ve missed him, how he’s doing you know the whole thing. As for Jongho he didn’t feel the same, after you left he moved on, he knew you weren’t coming back so what was the point of waiting? After years of being away you finally moved back you decided to go see Jongho hoping to rekindle the friendship he didn’t think that way about you anymore.

[kranagok0]

Oh boy, this Is a complete love square....

Guys, I don't know what I have about polyamorous romances but it's like a strange feeling of 'look at that, no one is sad and everyone loves each other.'

That just crossed my mind when I saw the new member of the trio of strange friends (now it's a quartet).

Louise is a breath of fresh air among the extroverts that make up the group.

Louise is practically an introvert. Someone closed who was even the last to be chosen on the boat trip (if we leave aside the trio of protagonists). Louise mentions that she has been in the Sparrow Scouts for some time now but has made almost no friends (or so I think).

I understand what it's like to be an introvert, more or less. I am the type of person who acts with a lot of concern, nervousness and gets serious so as not to say something stupid the first time they meet him... However, when I gain the necessary confidence I transform into someone different. I go from being 'a mouse thinking carefully about its next move' to becoming 'a monkey with a shotgun'. I hope I'm not the only one to have that strange way of being....

My life aside, I'd say Louise is kind of like that too. At first she tries to fit in by being normal with the team, but then she begins to get to know them and identify what things the trio of friends think are right or wrong and that is when Louise begins to show more of her personality. It emerges from the cocoon like a butterfly to show its true colors.

And in short: it is perfect for the trio of friends. It's so weird and different that I feel like it's necessary for the group, and I'm speaking in a positive way when I say weird. A good time.Now the main topic..... Romance.

I've seen a lot of Frida X David, Hilda X Frida, David X Frida fanfics and blogs, there's literally everything. But with the arrival of Louise the combinations are doubled. Now it could be Louise X David, Louise X Hilda, Louise

*Music from a 80's TV game show plays*

Hello ladies, gentlemen and other magical creatures who visualize us! I want to welcome you to this little head-canon idea I had of what each character in the trio of friends would be like if they were Louise's partner!

To do this, we will see the qualities of each suitor and what their dynamic with the character would be like:

Let's start with the one who represents better than anyone the shyness and courage that exists within us, he died twice to try to demonstrate it. Here we have David.

David may be a scary guy, but he will definitely come to save you if you are in danger. This kid would literally show what he's made of on a battlefield if he feels like he needs to prove something.... Don't tell me no, we've all seen the Vikings episode.

Our next contestant is not only smart in school but also in witchcraft. If you ask him about a certain topic, rest assured that when he finishes his talk you will at least have knowledge of the entire topic and its related subtopics. She is willing to do anything for her friends, she would even open a portal to the unknown and create non-existent spells just for you. Let's give a big, fervent wave of applause to the young city witch: FRIDA!

Frida may have been a bit of a perfectionist in the past, but after meeting Hilda and experiencing several events she went from being miss perfect to becoming the smartest friend you can count on. To be honest, sometimes Frida can be a bit boring, but that doesn't stop her from reaching your heart by showing great gifts of her intellect and the magic she possesses means that any topic can arise from a conversation. So, if by 'boring' we mean a lot of context and extremely long topics that she explains to you with excitement and great happiness, then boring is pretty good.

Finally we have the icing on the cake, or in this case the blueberry. Coming from the wild and with more extroverted energy than any of the other candidates mentioned above, we have a young woman with blue hair as long as she could grow it (I don't doubt that she would have let it grow longer if it didn't bother her in her adventures). This girl can literally make friends with almost anything and her circle of friends is huge, ranging from elf scribes to giants who are no longer on this planet. She would be the one to always take the first step in battle with her sword if I see it necessary and— Wait, where did he get that sword?

With you, Hilda!

Seriously, where do I get it from?

Hilda is by far the most outgoing and curious person I have ever seen. Don't you remember what Tofoten was triggered by his curiosity? Dude, it was literally the end of the series. And if you hadn't already noticed, this girl would fight barehanded against a king to save her loved ones. She would be the first to take up weapons to save her friends, she is capable of moving every rock in the entire city to find her pet, she is even capable of doing an act of terrorism just because the bells were bothering her friends.

Oh my god, I'd be afraid of this girl if I were someone who played some practical joke on David in the past or something. I would be locked up at home for what might happen to me. Better confinement than meeting Hilda on the street and having her recognize me.

So.... In a little while we will see Louise's possible choices about who she would like to be with, why I think they would be a good couple and also about what their relationship would be like. And it wouldn't just be from my point of view. Indeed, dear reader, you can also have your opinion. Comment what you think a relationship between Louise and any of our favorite trio of friends would be like.I retire to write incorrect quotes and more about this romance because I am burning with emotion. See you later

[seawanter]

Hello! I’ve been making a game and wanted to make a character with npd to mix up the character dynamics. The thing is, as you probably know, npd is so stigmatized, which means it’s literally impossible for me to research. So, if possible, I would like to hear some of your experiences with npd (how it makes you think and behave, that type of thing). If you don’t want to answer, feel free to ignore this.

hi ! thanks for the ask !

i feel obligated to preface this by saying that due to multiple comorbidities, my particular npd subtype (I present with a shier, more "covert" subtype of npd, as opposed to the stereotypical, grandiose, "overt" subtype), and my general personality, my experience and presentation of npd is far different than many others'. additionally, i've only really started realizing and grappling with the fact that i experience these things somewhat recently, so my account may potentially be a bit underbaked. that being said, I hope my experiences are still helpful to you.

Despite popular conceptions, many (but not all) pwnpd actually have very low self-esteem. my self-worth is very often reliant on others' praise (though i very often find it hard to accept praise). The self-doubt and inadequacy i feel can completely overwhelm my thoughts and disrupt my life. i'm a huge perfectionist, with lofty ideals for myself, but i cannot ever find myself meeting my own standard, despite having a sometimes-inflated sense of accomplishment. I often procrastinate to the point of self-ruin due to fears of disappointment or judgement, and of not living up to my self-imposed standards. "i'm not the best, but i should be."

when i first encounter a person, my subconscious automatically tries to gauge where they are in relation to me. do they have inferior qualities, and perhaps deserve (friendly) teasing or disregard? or are they better than me in some way, or at least masquerading as such, and thus deserving of my contempt? it's very compensatory. i know, cognitively, that people are infinitely complex and can't be measured in this way, but my subconscious still always goes through these motions. i know that these feelings are irrational, and i internalize all of it. i often even feel guilt at having these thoughts, often feeling a need to punish myself for having them.

despite this, i don't hold anything against anyone i perceive as "inferior" in any way, unless they do something that icks me (spelling/grammar mistakes for example; i could never let something like that slide). in fact, i don't ever really view entire people as inferior; i am, or rather should be, better than everyone else, but that doesn't make others wholly inferior. they're just human, humans are imperfect. i actually really love people, and often find inferiority kinda... cute, almost, when it's not cringey.

i cannot relate whatsoever to others' accounts of being purposefully manipulative, vengeful, or as many put it, wanting to "get back at people" (i've been described by others as being very kind and sensitive, which, tbf, i don't understand at all either). i prefer just ignoring/blocking people i don't like, rather than making a big deal of it. if someone criticizes/wrongs me, i typically just redirect the anger back at myself, which... is problematic in its own right. part of it is, again, that i really love people and it's hard for me to be really, genuinely angry at someone else. another part of it is a belief that being mean, retaliatory, or vengeful is "beneath me." if someone slights me, i view it as either warranted or simply fueled by ignorance. i am much more likely to retaliate or get outwardly angry when someone else experiences injustice, though that might just be the autism (though, i will say, the feelings of selflessness can really fuel my ego).

in relationships, i can often come off as disregarding or entitled. i like my friends, i just have a hard time connecting and showing interest, especially as far as reaching out goes. i easily get bored hanging out with others, and often i just prefer to stay home and do my own thing, alone, unless the hangout includes an activity i like or a mentally stimulating conversation. social interactions can be hurtful at times, when i don't receive the amount of praise or attention that i feel i deserve (ironic, because i am a very shy/reserved person, and i don't even really like attention all that much. it's a lose/lose). i very often, and only sometimes intentionally, find myself ghosting people. i can "split" on people i love, randomly hating/feeling annoyed with them on a whim. my empathy fluctuates A LOT, partially also due to being autistic. i find it near impossible to show any amount of vulnerability when i'm not inebriated. i sometimes even feign vulnerability when it's expected of me. feeling "too known" is really frightening.

ik this is rly ramble-y and i hope that any of it is at all understandable lol. i got pretty self-indulgent here, as I found this to be a helpful introspection for myself as far as verbalizing how this all impacts me, so... thanks for that ig! i also hope that, despite my experiences being far from typical (again, a lot of what i mentioned is specific to covert npd), they are still helpful to you in some way. also, genuinely, thank you for asking real people for their real experiences on this. it really means a lot, especially when most of the content about pwnpd frames them as evil, manipulative, no-good monsters. thanks again for the ask, and i wish you luck ^^

[mycraftingjourney]

Introduction post

I wanted to give a bit of an introduction to why I'm here, what I'm doing and so on.

tl;dr: I like clothes and I'm into sustainability, so I started (visible) mending a few month or so ago. I also crochet, although not as much as I'd like to, and I dabble a bit in embroidery. My goal is to kind of document my journey with these crafts and maybe inspire people to give some of these a try.

I'd also love to talk about all things (visible) mending, crochet, embroidery and fiber arts in general and share the knowledge I have / point people who want to start to some resources that helped me.

I've been into fashion/clothes and styling them on and off for a big part of my life. A few years ago, I also got into sustainability, learning about how buying new fast fashion damages our planet and exploits other human beings, and what may be good alternatives.

This path, inevatibly, lead down to getting curious about mending. I learned basic sewing skills when I was a child, but I never altered any clothes and apart from a few tiny things never mended anything.

However, this year, I wanted to change that. I've heard about visible mending before and I really liked it. I had a pair of jeans when I was a teenager that was patched (by someone else) that was my favourite pair. Unfortunately, I managed to ruin it beyond repair and also grew out of it, but this stuck with me. I always liked to express myself creatively, and in recent years, what I wear has become a big part of that. The idea that by visibly mending my clothes I express my passion for sustainability feels really good (and punk!) to me. The idea of altering clothes that I don't currently love but could love if something about them was changed is also a nice one.

I only darned my first sock a few months ago. My goal with this blog is to share this first darn as well as the progress I make, because I want to encourage other people. You don't have to make perfect mends to be sustainable. On the contrary, mend imperfectly, mend messy, but DO MEND. Even if you'll have to redo it at one point, when you have more skill, even if you don't end up redoing it and instead use that piece of clothing for something else, you still gave it another wear, or two, or three (or fifty) - and that's what this is all about.

I tend to be an extreme perfectionist and it's hard for me to deal with a situation where I'm not perfect at a first try. Surprise surprise, I am not when it comes to mending, or embroidery, or crochet, or anything at all really. But I'm trying to let that go and concentrate on what I achieve rather than what I did "wrong" or imperfectly. I want to share my messy bits and the things I'm proud of, and I want to update how the mends I did held up. As i mentioned above, I hope that maybe I'll inspire some people to pick up a needle as well. Even if you "only" fix that button or a ripped up seam. Every mend counts!

When I get into altering or even making clothes, I will share those projects too, but that will have to wait a bit since I don't currently have any space to put up my sewing machine and I do simply not have the energy nor patience to hand sew bigger things.

Apart from mending I also crochet. Talking more about that feels like a bit of an overkill here, I'll make a new post for that.

Recently I also started to embroider, with the idea of using embroidery in my (visible) mending and to embellish clothes. Here again I decided on a project where I just start and don't try to be perfect from the beginning on, I'll share more about that as well as my crochet project(s) soon.

I think this should be enough for the moment with the introduction. One thing about me, as you probably got by now, is that I'm really bad at being brief with my writing. I have no idea how often I will manage to make posts on here due to work and life, but I will try to do them quiet regularly, as well as sharing things I see that might be helpful / interesting / that inspire me. I also think I'll probably only write more for bigger projects but also just share stuff I'm working on / finished recently.

Maybe I'll also share other DIYs that are not really crafts/fiber arts related but I think are cool.

This isn't my main blog (thats @merryfromthestars), so if I follow I follow from there.

I'm also always open to questions, discussions etc. so just send me an ask or dm if you want! Just, I might take a moment to answer them, because life and work :) I'm excited to see where this journey takes me, and I hope some people will come along and maybe get inspired.

[yuseirra]

I'm drawing a comic~ for the meantime...this manga honestly made me so frustrated and pissed earlier, I just ranted on and I found it so funny to read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, here's how I feel about it rn!!

oh, this is such a perfect time to take a break from it though, i constantly feel so nervous about creating something for it because things escalate fast and I need to make good sense of it and reflect it into my works EVERY week. I am nuts for staying accurate to the source material (it may not seem like it but I'm really a perfectionist and I wish to do a good job getting the characters right) This work has a knack for making me feel extremely tense. It's been that way for the past three months I've hopped in, it's nice and enjoyable to have something to be invested on but sometimes it gets too much.. people are growing insane and pointing knives at each other, our protagonist stabbed himself and fell into the waters. The fact that I think it was an utterly foolish decision for him to have been that way does not help. I do not support what he's done. It does make a pretty impressive scene considering it's a manga and the art looks good, I think they planned that scene to be there from the beginning too but Sigh

I think he directed his anger to the wrong guy. I am not convinced that was the right choice he's made so I hate the look of it. Way to feel this way about the main character huh,

I can't draw.. when things make me this nervous, what else is going to unfold? I feel like I can see the big picture for the whole thing, but there is no way I can predict all the little details and what if things get super ugly, even uglier than how it is now?? I can't possibly work with that, it's just so hard!; Mengo-san Aka-san, what did I do to deserve this?? I came in because I thought I understood what this is!!! I have a good idea of how things are going to go!!! Why do you have to make everything SO MESSY?? It's frustrating. I AM collecting the physical volumes you know? I WANT TO TILL THE END?? please don't make me regret it, You seriously AREN'T going to make the one guy Ai confessed her love to a total freak. You know that and I know it too. It's just out there and set in stone, goodness. This isn't funny. This is so pointless. It wears me out ugghhh it's not about the ship I mean, it's about the message!!! the plot!!!!!! I really don't like how this manga makes things way more complex than what it actually is. It doesn't have to be that way.

Heheh. I ranted again- the stuff below's what I wrote earlier. Honorable mention to chatgpt for helping me translate it.. this is just. I just want things to get resolved. It's getting so dumb.

***

Kamiki is drowning and getting dragged away, Aqua stabs himself, then floats on the water with a melancholy expression on his face… and then there's a break for two weeks or so, right? Ugh, seriously.

But honestly, even in this weirdly ended situation, I’m actually glad there’s a break. If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to write things like this. I get too nervous to write because I really hate making mistakes. I genuinely don’t like it. Normally, I wouldn’t enjoy talking about uncertain situations like this…

But what can I do when I see things?;;; If I didn’t understand anything at all, I wouldn’t be able to write something like this, and if I didn’t have enough time, I wouldn’t have time to think about it, so I wouldn’t be able to write then either. But now that I do understand, it’s just… so frustrating, suffocating, nerve-wracking, and I feel all fidgety because of it.

Honestly, this manga should just release one chapter and then take a break. Release one chapter and then take a break. It would be nice to have about a week to think about it with a clear mind. It’s so exhausting, really. I feel like I know where this is all headed in the end, but the creators have been dragging things out so slowly. Even with the Aqukana storyline, I got so tired with how they handled it that I took a break from reading it last year…

The story hands you the key. It even clearly shows you the door that the key can open. But then it puts up dozens of other doors next to it, meaningless ones. Even after giving you all the answers, it tries to confuse you. But you can see right through it. And while doing that, it points to each door saying, 'Isn't this door pretty~~~ How about that one?' constantly taunting you along. All while it's them that's given you the key already in the first place.

It’s really frustrating… I’m so tired. If I couldn’t see anything, I’d just watch while grumbling or be like, 'Oh…' and keep my distance without overthinking it. But it’s suffocating and frustrating not knowing why they’re doing such pointless things, and it makes me anxious too…

Well… I could just take a break, but… I really like Ai. And when I look at the man she loved, I feel like he could actually be a really good character too, so I watch carefully… There’s a lot to dig into. It would be nice to shift the focus onto the other characters, too, but…

Seriously, nothing’s been properly resolved, has it? They’ve been dragging it out for ages. The characters keep doing crazy things. You can’t end a story like this. It’s just… they're not writing well, but they’re doing it on purpose. This manga is like that; the creators enjoy twisting things, and I should just enjoy that too, but I don't think I do. I just want to use the key and go through the door; I’m not interested in looking at the various door knobs. I wish they’d just stop now. I feel like I know what’s going on. That’s why I’m here to draw fan art. I get so up and down every week, but if the outcome isn’t what I’m thinking, I have no idea what it could be, and I don’t think it would make for a good story at all. I’m not saying it has to go the way I want for it to be a good story! It’s just… if it doesn’t, it feels like the message will completely collapse. It’s not about the couple… Even if the characters die, as long as the story is good, that’s fine, but the framework has to hold up!

About Kamiki's state,

his trauma and the dire-ness of his mentality is probably even more serious than Aqua’s, right? And I actually got that right too.

They said they only felt alive when they were with Ai. That means, in essence, they’re as good as dead now. But if they still want to keep living in that state, it means there was something they believed they had to do.

That’s likely related to the wishes mentioned in Mephisto and Fatal.

‘I want to see you. I want your life to return.’ (Mephisto)

‘I want to get closer to you. I want to receive your love again.’ (Fatal)

'For that, I can do anything. I can even offer my life. I can sacrifice anything. What more do I need to use?' <(Common themes in both songs)

In short, it’s all about 'I want to see you.'"

The "you" here refers to Ai.

That’s what it is.

Well… when you think about it, what Kamiki is doing now is essentially that. His underlying wish was that, but the way he’s going about it has become completely twisted. I don’t think he developed this kind of logic on his own. He’s been influenced or possessed by something. Because he was never someone who could hurt others.

This character didn't harm Ai… I truly believe he wouldn't have hurt her. Everything he’s doing now, in his own way, is probably for Ai. It’s just that he’s gone mad.

And thus, you can infer he's in such a serious condition, yet it hasn’t been highlighted at all.

They made his past so tragic and horrifying (I try to thoroughly analyze the character's psychological state; as I mentioned before, I try to sync up with their emotions…), and yet, with this character, there are parts I just can’t dive into because it’s too overwhelming. It’s plainly obvious. He’s not in his right mind right now. He’s too depressed and tormented to be alive.

Think about it, he’s been through extremely serious things since he was at least ten years old, maybe even younger… Just thinking about it makes me… I once considered exploring this, incorporating to my works, but I simply couldn’t. I really couldn’t… it’s too horrifying!

If the author had written him in a way where he turned into a serial killer because he developed a hatred for women or something like that, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive it. Even though I haven’t experienced such things, I feel I know enough of it to say that would be too shallow, convenient, and disrespectful. That’s really not how you handle such material. It’s beyond lazy—it's irresponsible. But I didn’t think it would go that way.

Whether this character ends up being revealed as the ultimate villain or not, if they’ve created a character like this and don’t address it properly, it’s not respectful to the character. It’s too much…

But I believe that the creators have a certain affection for what they’ve created, so I trust they’ll handle it. I just… want to see it handled properly. I think the delay is because they couldn’t fully express it while the anime was airing. They keep taking breaks and adjusting their pace; part of it might be due to the creators’ conditions, but I think they might have deliberately delayed introducing new content to match the anime’s schedule.

Honestly, I got into this because I knew. I realized, "Ah, this is what this character is going through."

He really liked Ai. It was set up in a way that he had no other choice but to become that way.

Other characters have their own core identity, right? Even if you strip away all their relationships with other characters, they have something of their own.

But when you look at this character, from the planning stage, everything was set to align with Ai, and without Ai, the character itself wouldn’t exist…;; He just collapses. Like in the lyrics, "I can’t live without Ai." The only consolation is that Ai truly did love him back… It’s like, the creators made this character specifically as a match for Ai, you know?

When you create a character like that, it’s only right to handle it in a way that makes that visible.

About his relationship with Ai… it’s not like I just think they look good together or something… It’s more like, when you look at the story and the way the characters are built, it’s obvious that they were made that way!!!

But even in the current situation and how ugly it is, there's one reason I think Ai made a good choice in picking him as her husband. She picked a extremely handsome guy and passed down superior looks to their kids haha. When you look at him, it doesn't make it seem like Ai is way out of his league in terms of looks, does it? She met someone who matched her well and dated him, that’s how it feels. I’m pretty sure they’re really gods, you know? They’re like the god of entertainment and the god of light. Their story is just too similar… they resemble each other so much… If you look at mythology, Ame-no-Uzume’s husband just fell for her at first sight, got swept along, married her, and they even shared a shrine, living happily together… Ame-no-Uzume just barged into his domain, made herself at home, and they got together right away. That god really married well. He ruled over not just one or two domains, but was a supreme indigenous deity and was considered just and noble… It’s like, “Oh, I like this one,” and she picked him like that. And judging by the drawings, Ame-no-Uzume was really beautiful… She was incredibly cute… I was so happy looking at that mythology. They bless the couple’s fate and marriage because they’re satisfied and happy with each other. People even make masks of the two gods and wear them together during festivals.

Look, if I’m a romance writer and I want to write something related to the entertainment industry, and I borrow mythology, and I know this couple's mythology? And then I write a story like this? Well… from my perspective, Kamiki is a mad god who went crazy after losing his wife. He genuinely loved Ai. Look at his expression in chapter 162. It’s the same as in chapter 153. He loved her that much, and on top of that, she was his savior, his lover, and even the mother of his child, raising them risking everything she's got. He believes she died because of his mistake—so what would he do? He might have thought about following her in death but couldn’t, so he thought, "If I do something, maybe Ai will come back." And when that didn’t work, he just ended up desperately wanting to see Ai again… I think that’s what drove him mad. I don’t think he’s in his right mind. He’s totally lost it. I mean, who could stay sane after losing someone like that for over a decade?

It’s not like the readers should have to guess why he’s fallen apart like this, right? It’s time for the story to show us. I’m really struggling with this—making deductions, writing, drawing—and every time a new chapter is released, people come to me, feeling sad or offering comfort. Seriously, I’m fine! isn’t it? Aren’t the creators romance writers? How could they not cover this? It’s not just about the couple—this is such rich material, and not using it would be a waste, don’t you think? And it doesn’t make sense… Why would they write it so that Ai loved someone truly strange? It’s not like that. Ugh, seriously.

As I always say, it’s not my work, so I could be completely wrong.

Still… it just feels like such a waste. Not using this? Not doing this?

I think all the clues are there… They’re doing this on purpose. Just wait and see. I’m not called the Prophet-type for nothing (INFJ)? When it comes to things like this, my intuition isn’t that bad. There are a lot of things I’ve figured out as soon as I saw them.

What’s frustrating about this manga is that if the plot progression itself is confusing, that’s fine as a mystery element.

But here, they give you all the answers, then pretend they haven’t, dragging things out while playing dumb. That really makes me go, “What are they doing?” It’s like they show all the answers and then, without reason, go off on a tangent. It’s like entering the destination into a navigation system, knowing where you’re supposed to go, but steering the car in the opposite direction for three hours.

Then, they turn around like nothing happened and head towards the destination. It’s pointless. If you don’t know the destination from the start, there’s a thrill as you go. But this just looks like foolishness. It’s like, eventually, it’ll come to this conclusion, but the story gives you the answer upfront and then insists, "Actually, no~" and lies about it. I don’t think it’s a very good method. It’s tiring…

Maybe it works in a volume format, but reading it as it’s released makes you wonder, "What’s even going on here?"

Haha, I came into this with confidence. At this point, there’s quite a bit that’s built up.

When I think about it, I’ve gotten all the critical parts right. Look at the expressions Kamiki makes when he looks at Ai. Does he look like someone who would order Ryosuke to kill Ai just because she rejected him?

This guy just can’t come to his senses after Ai’s death. He’s been doing everything he could just to see Ai again.

And if you’re still confused, the answer is always in Ai’s video message.

Would Ai, of all people, say she wanted to live forever with someone who ordered her death? That’s not how you write that story. The answer was already there, so I don’t know what this manga is doing.

That's why I'm not worried about Aqua right now! I'm mad! LOL. Hey, your dad definitely loved your mom more than anyone else in the entire world. He loved her more than his own life. Well, maybe you put Ruby first… But seriously, is he really so crazy that he tried to kill Ruby just to save Ai?!

But if that's the case, then it means he's not in his right mind, so he needs an exorcism…;;

How could Aqua not understand what kind of person his dad is, even after playing him as his role? Why can't he get a sense of it? Why didn't he listen, and instead tried to drown him in the ocean? Why did he do that? Is he really that evil? Am I missing something? Why are you like this? I can’t sympathize with it—was that really the only way? It doesn’t look that way to me. This is like a parade of fools, seriously. Did I completely miss the mark? Am I really wrong? Did I get everything wrong, and did I fail to see it properly? Then why does Ai’s video message say what it does?

Aqua, please get a grip. And Kamiki is out of his mind. He needs to go to a hospital. Seriously. What is all this?

That's all.

[maeshelix]

I hope this isn't rude or offensive to ask, but how many of you are there? And what're your names? :3

Anon. My dear friend.

Not only is this not rude at all, but we've been looking for the perfect excuse to make a little introduction post about us since we found out we were we!!!

At least, I have lmao. And you just gave me that excuse right now let's goooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

So!!! At the moment, there's about 10 of us, possibly 12??? Not sure yet, I'll let one of them edit this if I'm wrong and they exist lmao. But for now just operate on there being 10 peeps in here!!!

(Edit: It is actually twelve. Hello. I think I'll let Rokoko handle edits to the list proper though. She seems to enjoy that immensely-❤️)

(She seems to enjoy most things immensely lmao-💙)

More after the break (^-^)

First up on the list is meeeeeeeeee :3c Rokoko is the name and fun is my favorite game!!! I'm the resident clown-bot-girl of this particular system, a certified Delight here to spread joy and positivity in whatever ways I can!!! Usually through jokes!!! Though mostly because our body couldn't do half the shit I can do internally if we tried and also all of our friends are in completely different states and countries so we couldn't even hug or dance with any of them if I wanted to. And goodness knows I want to!!!

Next up is Salem!!!!!! My best buddy Salem!!!!!! She's basically the polar opposite to me lmao. She's a Protector who's perpetually tired and bitter cause the world kinda sorta sucks alot lmao. She's super sweet and kind if you get on her good side though!!! Which is harder then you think to get on but easier then you'd think!!! She's also a big tough werewolf girl who wants to look both cute and badass!!! Like a big metal spike wrapped in cute red ribbon ^_^

Next, there's Zero!!! She's a super cute robot girl like me!!! Except she's not really into the whole having emotions thing like I am. Like, she still has them (can't really completely avoid those while stuck in a human body after all) but she'd really prefer if she didn't, and she's told me that herself!!! Nonetheless, she's a logical and loyal little perfectionist AI who loves us just as much as we love her 💝💝💝. We're not really sure what her role within the system is (and honestly we don't really sweat it when it comes to roles in the system. Some of us know it instinctively but others don't and that's honestly fine!!!) But we know she's really witty and really smart!!! When she wants to be. She's also kind lazy, heehee :p

There's Daisy, who's a total sweetheart honestly. So much so that she's usually kinda sad and scared of the world around us which, fair lmao. She's a teeny tiny plant girl who just wants to be happy and loved and who's willing to help out in whatever ways she can. She's also adorable and again, soso sweet omgggggg you have no idea!!!

Marking the midway point of this list is Freesia!!! The suave moth demoness of our little family!!! She's an incredibly kind and loving woman who would probably help you move houses if you asked her to. I think she's a Caretaker??? Again, we don't really sweat labels here but it definitely fits with her in my opinion!!! She doesn't really come out often though, which sucks!!! @our brain, let the gal out every now and then she deserves time to herself!!!

Sleepy is next and we know basically nothing about her!!! Mostly because she rarely comes out, at least lately. Despite that though, we know that she's a big ol' goofball who says the most random shit sometimes and honestly, i love that aboit her (^ー^). Also fun fact!!! She's actually the one who originally tipped us off to being us in the first place!!! In that she was the first one to notice that she was different from whoever was in front at first one day and went "huh. Damn that's weird bro." I think she also miiiight controls when we feel especially ready to sleep (hence her name!!! I think. It could also be that she's just really really tired most the time, I honestly dunno!!!) so that's cool!!!

Next up, in no particular order, is Miranda!!! And next to Sleepy we probably know the least about her, except that she formed after a point in time where we played nothing but Elden Ring for like a month, after a particularly stressful point in our life!!! As such, she speaks like a fusion of Melina and Ranni and kinda looks like one too!!! With four arms and everything!!! She's really into fantasy media, and I'm sure she's gonna have a ball whenever we get around to playing Baldur's Gate 3 (let's be honest girls, it's an inevitability at this point, we just gotta pick the time lmao).

Heading up the rearguard is Hana!!! She's a super chill grill with attitude( ￣▽￣). Almost as much of a jokester as me, she's just focused on relaxing and hanging out. She's a kinda fictive??? It's complicated, and not for public speculation!!! All you need to know is that she's got multiple wings like an angel and is super into DOOM!!! She's the best I love her o(^o^)o

If you're looking for a definitive fictive, then F.E. is the girl for you!!! I don't think she wants me to tell you what she's a fictive of, so I won't say her full name, but like. She's not really subtle about it let's be honest lmao. She's the one who usually comes to front and takes care of our body whenever our brain is just far too exhausted (emotionally or otherwise) for any of us to use it!!! Or whenever we're on painkillers. Either or lmao. We actually thought she was also Zero for the longest time since they both kinda have a similar "emotionless perfect being" thing going on, though eventually F.E. found out she's definitely different from Zero and here we are now!!! She's a nice and steadfast gal with a little bit of a mischievous streak and she's also our latest split!!! I love her (^.^)

Last, but certainly not least, probably, is our girl Silver!!! Unlike F.E., Silver's pretty open about what her source is, that being Silver the Hedgehog!!! And I'd say she act an awful lot like the OG telepath too!!! If just a liiiiittle more nervous and anxious. She's an optimist, but she's also a realist, and she never fails to have hope for the future!!! In spite of the evidence to the contrary lmao. She also thinks she's been here the longest too!!! Here being our brain of course. Which I believe!!! Makes sense that we'd have a Silver fictive as a kid lmao.

And that's the list so far!!! We'll probably just edit and re-edit this list whenever something new happens in here so keep an eye out for that!!! And of you can't then don't worry, cause I'm pinning this to the top of our silly little blog lmao.

Again, thank you for the ask anon!!! And I hope you enjoy my answer as much as I did writing it!!!

[thechaotictheoryy]

Unravel | 3. How's The Weather?

summary: What if you had chains around your heart but you were the one who put them there? If you took a look at Parker’s heart, you would see a nice beating heart but Parker felt there were heavy metal chains wrapped it. After years of a disconnected relationship with her parents and a hard break up with her boyfriend of four years, Parker Williams made her heart mentally chained. Declaring to never fall in love again but what happens when she meets a witty musician who is all about seeking love?

pairing: main character x Hongjoong ft. ex! Yeosang

genre: (18+ minors dni), romance, fluff, lots of angst, coming to age, college au, smut, strangers to lovers, self discovery

word count: 3,459

chapter warnings: no major warnings in this just a tad bit of overthinking and insecurity in Parker.

song rec for this chapter: Deny by Monsta X

Friday October 8th, 2021. (Present)

I wiped the sweat on my forehead as I admired my painting. It was hot today in the studio for some reason and the three fans that Mr. Cook placed in here were not helping at all. You would think being in California all my life I was used to this but I wasn’t, I hate being hot. I wish it was cold all year long, the breeze just blowing on my face every chance it got to. The painting I was doing was an assignment that was due next week and it was counted as a midterm grade. I was nowhere near finished and I didn’t even know what I liked about what I had done. I looked at the details and colors I mixed within what I had so far, it wasn’t something to be excited over but it wasn’t bad either but I know I can do more. 

“It looks pretty good so far,” I heard Sarah say.

“I don’t know if I like it or not”

“Anything you make is beautiful Parker, you are just your biggest critic and you piss yourself off the most”

I rolled my eyes at her and grabbed my sketchbook. I don't like when peoples’ statements are true about me. It rubs me the wrong way but maybe it's just my pride. I wanted things to always be perfect or great in my eyes before someone else judges it. It wasn't like that with just my art, I was like this with everything. Maybe I am a perfectionist but I don’t like when things go wrong and I have no control over it. It put me in a spiral and I didn’t like how dizzy I got from it. 

“Class is dismissed early, I have a doctor’s appointment. Please remember your paintings are due this upcoming Thursday, no late work is acceptable” We heard Mr. Cook say. 

He wished us good luck on our assignments and left the room. Everyone started to pack up except me, it was around lunchtime but I didn’t have much of an appetite. I wanted to figure out what I was going to do now because I know how distracted I could get. 

“Are you not coming to the cafe?” Sarah asked

“No, not that hungry today”

“Don’t overwork yourself Parker”

“I won’t”

“Alright I’ll text you later”

I nodded and she walked out the room. The room had a peaceful silence and I sat back in my chair, looking at my painting. I sighed and threw paint all over it, I decided that I hated what I had. I would go to the art shop and buy a new canvas on my way to my dorm. I grabbed my sketchbook and tapped on it. I needed to be inspired by something and I didn’t have enough inspiration to come up with something random like I always do. I needed to do something or go somewhere. Art was supposed to be something that I can express myself through but I can’t even put together my emotions because they were all over the place. 

My mind was still floating around from what happened on Tuesday and I hated how I was over analyzing something so small but it was so big in my brain. I could do something involving pain but I wanted this painting to be a little different. I was known in my major for making heartbreaking paintings and I wanted something with a new feel. Something that no one would expect from me at all, not even Mr. Cook. 

I need something to inspire me again. Something that would make my feelings pour into my piece. I have had a lot of rough times before but this felt different than the other times. 

I heard footsteps walk in and I looked up. 

“Sorry did I bother you?” The girl said. 

“No, I was just thinking that’s all”

“You’re Parker Williams right?”

“Yeah, how do you know me?” I raised my eyebrow. 

“I’m Choi Soojin, I’m a year under you. Your work is just always talked about and I seen it in the exhibit on campus before”

“Oh well nice to meet you”

“I was coming up here to get some yellow paint, we ran out and Mr. Hawks said Mr. Cook is usually fine with us borrowing it”

“The cabinet is near the storage closet” I pointed towards it.

“Awesome, thank you”

 She made her way over to it and looked back at my sketchbook which was still blank. I didn’t know if I was going to get anything done today and it made me upset. Maybe I need to go out tonight with my suitemates. 

“Thank you for showing me” I heard Soojin say, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“No problem”

I saw her face have a slight pink tint and she was fidgeting a little. I didn’t even study her that well when she first walked in here, my mind was pretty clouded. Her skin was a little pale and she had black wavy hair with a tint of brown on the ends. She was obviously shorter than me, I could tell by the length of her legs. She wasn’t thick but wasn’t skinny either, she was right in the middle of the two. She was definitely beautiful but her energy was off, it was almost like it was telling me to stay away from her. 

“Parker”

I shook my head out my thoughts and she had an eyebrow raised at me. 

“Sorry, did you say something?”

“I was just saying, I’ll see you around”

‘Okay, see you around”

She waved and walked out, I waved back and turned my head back to my canvas. This painting was like my brain right now, a complete and utter mess. The more I stared at it, the more I wanted to ruin it. I grabbed my stuff and made my way out of the room. I hope Kayla and Nicole were down to go to a club tonight because I really needed it. Plus, Kayla could buy us some drinks. I wish I was 21 already and didn’t have to rely on a friend to get me alcohol. 

The campus looked so good at sunset. It was always not too quiet but not too loud either. You could always see how the orange light from the skin mixed in with the blue to create that beautiful pink shade. It reminded me of this painting that Sarah did one time, she called it “Minutes In The Sky”. The way her colors blended together to create the path that led to the starless night. 

It was so beautiful. It was so simple to her but you could understand her colorful mind through it. 

It took me about 15 minutes to get back to my dorm. I stopped at the art shop to buy some more supplies. Maybe I should try to paint in my room, I just need to do something to help remove this creative block that I’m having. I opened the door and I heard my roommates in our living room area having a conversation. 

“Hey losers”, I sat down in between them. 

“You okay?”  Kayla said. 

“I want to go out tonight” 

“We were just talking about that blind dating thing that’s happening downtown”

“Not you guys too?” I scratched my scalp a little bit. 

“Someone else mentioned it?” Nicole said. 

“One of my classmates Sarah said I should give it a try”

“Well let’s go! It starts in like an hour” They both jumped up. 

I watched as they both walked to their rooms and I threw my head back. Blind dating? That didn’t seem like something I needed, what I needed was a drunk night. I wanted to get wasted then come back here and call someone up. Love wasn’t really something I wanted to pursue. It was exhausting to start over with someone. I tried going on dates even after my break up and I wasn’t in the right place to give myself to someone again. I don’t honestly think I’m healed from what happened with Falynn. 

I got up and walked to my room, throwing my stuff on the bed. I laid down on the edge and let out a sigh. Should I just tell them I don’t want to go? It was my idea to go out tonight anyway. It’s not like I actually have to go to this again, one night dealing with this won’t hurt me. Would it? 

“The things I do in my life are so questionable” I ran my hand over my face and stared at the ceiling. 

I figured that not going would only leave me sitting in my thoughts all night and that was something I was trying to avoid at the moment. I could also use this as a way of inspiring me to paint something from things I hear tonight from different people. 

An hour eventually made its way around the clock. We were in line at the building and apparently we had to go in blind folded and someone would guide us to the booths. This is the weirdest blind date event I ever heard of in my life. 

“It’s really surprising me that you guys are not questioning this method” I looked at my two roommates, who were looking into their phone cameras, touching up any makeup that had the slightest mess up. 

“Something new never hurts anyone, right?” Nicole said. 

“You guys do know these people aren’t going to know what you look like”

“If you really want to move on with the person that you talk to, you can choose to give them your number or not” Kayla said, putting more lipgloss on. 

I laughed a little and shook my head at them. I don’t even wear make up but I didn’t dress to impress because I knew I wouldn’t find anyone here unless they wanted to fuck. Some people I saw in line weren't too bad to the eye either. There were roughly about 50 people here. It made you wonder were they here to actually potentially be with someone or were they here to simply find someone to hook up with. This could turn out to be a real life version of Tinder. 

We finally made it inside and they blind folded us. I knew we were separated when I didn’t hear their voices anymore. The person helped me to the booth and guided me to sit down. 

“You can take off your blind fold when you’re ready. Only rules are no peeking over your seat, no phones out please, and do not say your name. You will get 5 minutes to talk to the person on the other side, if you both want longer time together, you press the white button to add 5 more minutes. When you are ready to leave, you press the black button in the middle of the table.” He said to me 

I took my blind fold off and heard his footsteps disappear. I looked around and the place reminded me of a big restaurant but everyone was really spaced out. They probably did this so you could hear who you were having a conversation with. I heard someone sit on the other side of me. Their guide was telling them the same things that the guy told me. After about 10 minutes, the bell rang for everyone to begin talking to each other. 

“How are you doing?” The person said on the other side. I could tell it was a guy, his voice was really nice. 

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m okay”

“Why just okay?”

He went on to tell me about how his week was going and I felt a little bad for him. He had just came out to his parents as bisexual, the girl he had been dating since his first year in high school broke up with him because of it, and he just lost his job because his company moved.

You always think about your struggles and realize there are people out struggling with life just like you. It makes it feel a little less lonely in your head. 

“I think your parents will come around when they see how happy you are living in your truth” 

“You think so?”

“My parents were a little eh when I told them I was pansexual but once they saw how I didn’t let their disapproval affect me, they came around. Caring parents who want to make sure you are happy will stop giving a shit about your sexual orientation. Also fuck that girl, you sound like a sweet guy and someone will love you for you when the time comes”

“You sound like you been through something like this relationship wise”

“My ex is a piece of shit,” I laughed. 

“Did they do something painful?” 

“He cheated on me for more than half our relationship with two people,” I put my head down. 

“I can hear the pain in your voice”

“Yeah it still tears me apart a little bit”

That’s a fucking lie..It still so painful that I want to cry everytime I talk about him. 

We talked a little more about my situation and his situation. The bell rang and we said our goodbyes as I heard him get up from his seat with a guide and walk away. Hopefully all my conversations would go as smoothly as that. It was nice to encourage people. 

A smooth 45 minutes had passed and I felt I had talked to everyone in that line. I even had conversations with Kayla and Nicole, they are some fucking clowns flirting with me. I was reaching my limit though and I was ready to go. They both told me to stay a little long but that was 20 minutes ago. I guess for them I would do one more person but then I would wait for them outside.

I felt the next person sit down and I sighed a little bit. 

“Sounds like you had a long day?”

My eyes widened at his voice, it sounded so nice like dripping honey. 

“Yeah I did, I came here with some friends”

“Guess both of our friends dragged us here”

“What would we do without them?” I said sarcastically. 

We both laughed and even that sounded nice coming from him. I kind of figured he was around my age or younger than me. We continued to make small conversation and even found out we go to USC together. He was a sophomore and an English major. 

We heard the bell but I shook myself when I pressed the button on the side of my seat. I heard him let out a small laugh. 

“I guess we both want to talk some more.”

“I guess so” I smiled a little. 

Our conversation continued with talking about different books and paintings. Everytime that 5 minute buzzer went off, we both kept pressing that white button to the side as fast as we could. This went on for about 25 minutes and I didn’t mind it at all. 

“Where are you from?” I played with my fingers. 

“Anyang, it’s in South Korea but I moved to the states when I was 16. My parents got a job offer in Seattle, Washington”

“How’s the weather?” I looked at the ceiling. 

“It rains a lot but it’s peaceful. I miss it. I miss most of the weather in Korea tho, especially the snow in the winter” 

“Would you move back after you graduate? Like to Seattle or Korea”

“Probably just Seattle and travel to Korea a lot. California is expensive. I’m here on a scholarship”

“What if you had someone who made it worth the stay?”

Parker.. What the in the absolute fuck are you saying? You don’t even know this guy, you don’t know what the hell he looks like, and she could be a creepy woman with just a really nice voice. Get yourself together now. 

“Just depends if they really show that they are worth it”

“What if you had goals that you wanted to achieve?”

“What if that person was the one to push you harder and come along for the ride?”

“People can become selfish” I laughed a little. 

“Even selfish people deserved to be loved” 

“Not at all” I looked down. 

“Have you ever loved someone so selfishly that it hurt?”

“I have”

I didn’t want to open up about it. He was smooth but I wasn’t going to fall into the hand of a stranger that I just met almost 30 minutes ago. 

The bell rang but only on our side and I saw a guy walk over to me. 

“Are you ready to go ma’am?”

I turned and saw that my hand was over the black button. I panicked, I was so inside my head I didn’t realize that I had pressed it out of being too scared for this to move on any further. I couldn’t.. I couldn’t open myself to someone again. 

He put my blind fold on and helped me up. 

“It was nice talking to you, I guess” I heard the guy say so defeated as I walked away. 

My feet were moving so fast that I left the guide and ran out the building, snatching my blind fold off my eyes when I saw the front door. I ran to the side of the building and put my back against the wall. I slid down it and put my knees to my chest. What was this? Why was I so fucking comfortable talking to her? Why was I so drawn in to getting to know her and wanting to stay?

“Fuck…fuck…fuck!” I said as I put my head in my hands. 

I felt my phone start to vibrate in my pocket and pulled out, answering it right away. 

“Hello?”

“Dude where did you go? Our guides knew you were with us and told us you ran out of the place” I heard Kayla’s voice. 

“I’m on the side of the building”

“Okay we’re coming” 

I hung up the phone and sighed. I’m such a fucking idiot. A fucking coward. I knew I shouldn’t have come tonight. I didn’t know this was going to happen but I don’t like that it happened. 

“There you are” 

I looked up and saw my roommates with so much worry in their eyes. Why did I do this to people? Why did I become such a ticking time bomb that could off myself in any minute? Why did I become so close to people that I was such a bother and made them think about me? 

They sat down on both sides of me and held my hands. 

“What happened?” Nicole said. 

I told them about the guy and how long the conversation lasted. I said things we talked about and how he sounded to me. Not only did he sound like dripping honey… 

He sounded like a paintbrush on a canvas that had been painting for hours to create something beautiful and to me… that was like heaven. 

“Sounds like you got scared that you were going to open up too much to  this mystery man,” Kayla said, rubbing my hand. 

“There’s nothing wrong with telling a little about yourself Parker, you never know when you would see him again anyway. USC is a big ass school and who knows if he even lives on campus” Nicole said to reassure me. 

I felt guilty for ending like that. He probably thinks I’m a coward. 

But if I did run into him? What if I recognized his voice and he recognized mine? How do I react? I didn’t want this to turn into something. I didn’t want to give myself to anyone anytime soon. I wanted to lock myself in my room for the weekend and forget this night happened. I was never doing this blind dating shit ever again. 

“Can we just go back to the dorm?” I asked. 

“Yeah, we’re going to get you some ice cream on the way back” Nicole pinched my cheek a little. 

We all got up and started walking back towards campus. They always knew how to make me feel better and I always appreciated them. I just wish I could be stronger for them and that I wasn’t so weak interally. I didn’t want them feeling like they had to take care of me all the time and I felt like that’s why I always shut people out, I didn’t want anyone to feel pity for me. 

I want to be stronger and I hope I get there sooner than later.

 

Taglist: @hwaslayer

previous. next.

[lucidl0ser]

HI IM BACK AGAIN, THE 🍓ANON, this time I want to request a matchup for TR.

Female, straight, I want to be paired with a man pls ^^

I'll try to keep it short because I have a complex personality but ok

Firstly, I'm introverted, I like to be at home, playing my video games, drawing... I'm just too lazy, but i like to go out too for a bit and make chill plans like taking a stroll around a park or something, nothing about partying or that sort of stuff, I'm chill, tho if I'm in the mood I won't reject a new experience for me at all, i love my comfort zone but i know how much i need to get out of it too, for my own well being.

I'm a highly sensitive person, I cry a lot, even for good things, but I am really rational too, loyal to my own beliefs, stubborn and a perfectionist. I like dressing in all black, but I love cute stuff like sylvanian, hello kitty, cats...

I can be quite jealous or obssesive with a partner but i try to control it and talk things out if something goes wrong, I'm touch starved tbh, loyal and kind. I'm a big tease too, sometimes too much, tho i get flustered very easily

Sarcastic, a bit passive-agressive.

I have a sense of humor, which is mostly quite sarcastic and dark or even really stupid, I laugh about everything. I overthink a LOT, and I'm really fearful and I got anxiety, but I'm always trying to improve, and I want to get out of my comfort zone to overcome my insecurities-fears-vulnerabilities so i can be happy with myself.

For my friends I'm a weirdo but not even joking (they say it with love ig) bc I do weird stuff, they aren't wrong lol😭😭😭 Well that's it thank youuu

Sorry this too so long, but I saw the other ask as well with the other details. I hope you enjoy! ♡

You got...

.

.

.

Chifuyu Matsuno!

○ I think you and Chifuyu would bond first over your mutual liking of cats and Hello Kitty, tho his favorite is Chococat♡

○ Together, I like to think you two would bicker and tease each other like an old married couple, but I don't think you'd argue

○ About being touch starved, that's definitely gonna change cause Chifuyu is CLINGY. He's gonna want lots of hugs and casual affection, holding your hand lots and just kissing your cheek

○ I think if you're feeling anxious out in public, he'd immediately notice and make some lame excuse before dragging you away

○ About your jealousy, I think he'd love it! It just makes him so happy knowing you love him so much that you hate seeing him with other girls(which is a rare sight anyways)

[syverse]

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ABOUT ME.ᐟ

꧂ sy ; 18 ; she/her ; famous for being weird and off-putting in a captivating charming way ; currently listening to genesis by grimes

꧂ i've literally had this account for at least 5 years but just decided to start posting on it cause i've been getting back into a lot of my old interests (art, anime, writing) and wanted a platform to share them on as well as connect with others that are passionate about similar things!

꧂ as i said i started posting mainly just to have a place to share, so my posts probably won't be very consistent, i'm also a full-time college student, so that factors into my activity a lot too.

꧂i'd really love to have more people to connect with! that being said, i'm clinically unwell and get really nervous about reaching out to people, so if anyone wants to wear the pants in the relationship and be mutuals i would absolutely love you (sorry for being weird)

꧂pls stop! yourself before judging me i do not claim anything that you might find cringe on my blog because i choose to not perceive that kind of tomfoolery. like my bio states i'm literally just a freak on the internet same as you ok so no need to pass your freakish and unwhimsical criticisms on me thank youuuu im just a girl here to giggle in wonder! same thing goes for trying to spread hate although i am the biggest hater in the universe i will not tolerate drama

꧂i feel like i should apologize in preface to all of my writing for being very ooc, but then again this is my blog and my writing and i choose to live to yolo lifestyle, so if you don't like what i have to say then go the other way! goodbye disagreers! and also since this is my blog i WILL talk to myself. i have much to say about everything ever.

꧂ people who submit literally anything other than the wrong thing (hate) will be kissed. please yap 2 me! my tag for rambling/ responses is #syspeaks xoxox

꧂also which i feel might be most important is that im like a clinical ill perfectionist about myself and literally everything i do. i can get very discouraged when it comes to writing if its not coming out the way i want it to so i mostly end up scrapping a lot of my ideas. now that i've embraced the cr*nge i will definitely try to push myself to revisit my frustrations, but just to let you guys know! i am my biggest enemy!

꧂more on my interests for those who even care:

✩ anime: mha, haikyuu, jjk, mp100, chainsaw man, soul eater, kamisama kiss, death note, kny, hxh and probably a lot more

✩ music: charli xcx, blood orange, cocteau twins, mannequin pussy, wilco, arctic monkeys, pixies, the cure, the strokes, hole, adrianne lenker and at least 500x more (please pmo to your music i can never have enough)

✩ misc: i also draw (and maybe down the line will share that? idk) as i said i go to college so i am a big party girl and uhhh i can't think of anything else and i also LOVE jersey shore currently

꧂lastly! my requests are open but i make no promises to actually fulfilling them

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ TTYL.ᐟ

[cherryluvrx3]

meat lovers amirite??

Dave Strider x Reader X Karkat Vantas

Chapter 3

[masterlist]

I stopped pacing around the room when I heard the doorbell ring. I practically ran to the door then stopped just in front to compose myself. Straighten out my clothes and pat my hair down and take a deep breath before I opened the door.

Dave, who was waiting on the other side, heard the heavy footsteps of someone running to the door.

‘Am I gonna get jumped??’

The pause.

‘Maybe they had a change of heart.’

The deep breath.

‘No they’re definitely getting ready to fight me.’

And the door opened to reveal a.. sweaty, nervous looking dude- the same one from last time actually.

“Uh..” Dave quickly peaked behind them and didn’t see anyone else, hiding or otherwise. “Your friends didn’t set you up like last time?” He smiled albeit a bit nervously.

“Oh! No I eh.. just.. asked for you myself..”

“..really?”

“Yeah really..”

“…”

Awkward….

“….Right.. well your total is $9.99..” Dave took out the pizza from his little pizza carrier.

“Hopefully it isn’t burnt this time.” I joked and Dave seemed to look surprised.

“Wait really? Your pizza was burnt last time?”

“Uh yeah, like half of the pepperoni was singed. I mean my friend ate it anyway but still.” I said and took note of how he looked sort of confused.

“Yeah that’s.. kinda weird? My friend is the one who makes the pizzas and he usually follows the Pizza Hut pizza making regulations like, word for word. Sort of like a perfectionist? I feel like if he burnt a pizza he would’ve remade it. Or are these false accusations you're putting on my bro’s name?” Dave questioned with a quirked brow and crossed arms.

“No?? Why would I lie about that dude?” I laughed.

“Well I mean, you didn’t call to replace it either.”

“Yeah ‘cause my friend already tore that shit up.” I snickered and pulled out a $10 bill to pay him. He seemed more relaxed now, smiling as he took the money.

“Oh, keep the change, buy yourself something nice.” I winked. “Well aren't you made of money? Sure you can give so much to little ol’ me?” He chuckled and pocketed the bill. “I have more money than I know what to do with man.” I lied confidently as if this pizza didn’t use up the rest of the money I had for the week. “Ha! Have a good one. I’ll let you know if anyone I know needs a sugar daddy or something.” He laughed and walked off.

I closed the door.

Hehehehehe!!!!!

I giggled and tossed the pizza on the counter, running to my couch and flopping down to text the group chat, my legs kicking behind me.

Me

-GUYS

-GUYS OMGGG

Roxy <3

-wat wat wat!!!

Me

-I talked to him :3

Roxy <3

-wooo!!! yeah baby!!

Tezi >:]

-Ok… and?

Me

-wym

Gamz :o)

-so what else

Me

-I just

-Talked to him

-Idk what you want me to say

Nepetita :3

-(Y/n)!!! You have to do more than just TALK to get close to him!! *Nepeta pouts and taps her foot*

Me

-IDK WGAF TO DO!!??

-Like I think,, laughing with him and making small talk is a good start righttt

Roxy <3

-yep def a good start

Tezi >:]

-Stop feeding into their delusions!!

Roxy <3

-what i do? 😭

Tezi >:]

-You’re coddling them and letting them take baby steps! They need to make big jumps to make progress >:/ you could’ve asked what school he goes to, how old he is, when his birthday is, his work schedule, his address or

-Or something!!

Gamz :o)

-yeppp exactly what she said

-remember I said ya gots to take risks babe

Me

-mannn >:/ let me take baby steps

Roxy <3

-yea!! theres norhing wrong with wanting to tske things slow and easy

-its better rhan them coming off as desperate tbh

Nepetita :3

-I guess… but still!! You have to do a little better than having a short pleasant conversation with him okie?? At the end of the day we want you to be happy but you gotta try to okie??

Me

-Yeahhhh :/

-I guess I can like.. go to the actual place and try to chat him up there then ask for his number?

Gamz :o)

-mhm that’s a good idea lil mama

Me

-Yeeeshhh I’m just so like nervous cuz he’s like… so cool

-Like what if he thinks I’m a loser and laughs in my face

-I think I would die

Tezi >:]

-Then fuck that guy!!!

Roxy <3

-yeah I don’t rhink you gotta worry bout nothing

-like I’m very sure if that happens terezi and gamzee r gonna stuff him in a oven 💀

Gamz :o)

-fuck yeah we will

Nepetita :3

-don’t be nervous! You’re literally so epic! I purrmise he’s gonna end up liking you beclaws who wouldn’t!!

Me

-dawwww :>

-ty little meow meow

Nepetita :3

-:3 *hugs you*

Me

-*accepts hug*

Tezi >:]

-*TEARS HUG APART

-*GRABS (Y/N) BY SHOULDERS AND SHAKES THEM*

-YOU CAN DO THIS

-YOU BETTER DO THIS

-BECAUSE WE’RE ALL TIRED OF YOU COMPLAINING OF NOT HAVING A BOYFRIEND

Me

-Okay okay!!

-I’ll try harder

-not today or tomorrow tho

-soon tho!! I swear

-I got missing work too do remember

-but yeah I’ll try harder

Roxy <3

-great :)))

I sigh and toss my phone on the couch while I get up to eat the pizza that’s probably gone a bit cold now.

Yeah I’ll definitely approach him better. Someday.

Damn this pizza is burnt again?

———

The bell on the door jingled as Dave entered the store. He tossed the keys back to Aradia who was looking through a crusty magazine from 2015.

“Do you want me to take over deliveries again? We got two more calls.”

“Uh yeah but stay here for a bit? Need to chat with Karkat real quick ‘fore I man the phones again.”

“…but the customers need their pizzas.” She looked at him with a strangely intense gaze.

“Uh.. they can wait a few minutes bro. It’s not the end of the world.” He nervously joked before dipping to the back.

“Hey kat.” He greeted his friend who just finished boxing a pizza. “Oh. What do you want Dave?” He grumbled and moved the pizza to the counter for Aradia to grab.

“So the guy I delivered to just told me the craziest thing. That the pizza they got a few days ago was actually..” Dave paused for dramatic effect, “burnt..” he slapped his hand over his mouth in faux surprise.

Karkat visibly stiffened.

Dave didn’t notice though because he was more focused on teasing Karkat.

“I thought your pizzas were your ‘works of art’? Your ‘babies’? And you burnt one? What if this affects the store's reviews huh?” He laughed and elbowed Karkat.

It was then he noticed the strange look of guilt on Karkat’s face.

“Uh..dude?”

“..it was a mistake. So what if some schmuck got a burnt pizza?” He grumbled and went off to look for something to occupy his hands.

“Well yeah I wasn’t accusing you of doing it on purpose,” Dave paused and turned to look at Karkat, “did you.. do it on purpose..?” He asked, with a confused smile.

“AGH!”

uh oh.

“WHO CARES!?”

here it comes.

“GET OUT! GET OUT!! GO DO YOUR FUCKING JOB DICKBAG STRIDER!”

Karkat snapped and shoved Dave out the kitchen and back to the front of the store.

Before Dave could try to talk to him again, Karkat already rushed to the break room and slammed the door shut.

“…”

“.. I will go deliver the pizzas now.” Aradia got up quickly, snatching the two pizza boxes and leaving.

Dave checked the clock to see how long he had left on his shift.

2 hours.

Goddamnit.

———

a/n - I sure use "..." a lot... but I like it.. hehe...

idk its just so I can portray the timing of their pauses while they speak and they make a lot of pauses *skull emoji*

also nepeta's contact name is 'nepetita'. I'm mexican and adding "ita" to something is sort of saying "little" in an affectionate way so her contact is saying 'little nepeta' if any of u are confused

[mimikyvvnz]

An ask for one of those 2 you missed: Do you have a hobby or interest you wanna rant about? I'll read it all :)

okay so um. um um. okay i. good timing cause i was cooking up a good old yap!!! honestly drawing/creating is such a big part of me like what the hell! i procrastinate watching/playing games because i prefer making stories and characters myself and ERRrrr a lot of what i make is very personal to me!!! like characters will be based off people i hold dear to me and all etc etc i even do this subconsciously and only realize who i was thinking of when i made a certain character very much later on coughs and/or my character's backstories and lives are usually related to a part of me (i will write about my ocs and all later on) (i loooove being lazy /j) so if my characters seem not so diverse im sorry!!!! this is all i know how to write and i don't want to write anything else because i might get it wrong or i don't feel passion for it oh my lord!!! my art is also so symbolic sometimes (especially with the nonexistent colors) (you guys are just colorblind. trust) (me not coloring my art is also a symbol for somethign SJDSJSDJKJjdjskds)

another thing to consider is art has been my hobby since even before i had the mental capacity to remember things!!! i'm also self-taught without any formal education on this lol so if you see me make a lot of anatomical mistakes (i hate anatomical mistakes but art is art. mistakes are mistakes. and mistakes are a part of art) erm!!! no you didnt (lol) ERM. okay im dumping art tips here too now okay TIP NUMBER ONE DO NOOOOTTT care if you make mistakes DO NNNNOOOOOOOOOt be a perfectionist with your art this type shit hurts your self esteem and ruins your motivation! art is supposed to be fun not a burden lalala. be free. be carefree and all whateverr pro tip nummber two tune your feed to give you art that has artstyles you like this is just a personal thing but i tend to copy what i see so i dont want other traits that i have to work to unlearn in my art errm! learn color theory /j (i dont know color theory i just eyeball it and i have one rule) guys please wait i made a tutorial on my color stuff somewhere pls https://www.penup.com/artwork/1697369659896622?collectionEnabled=false guys pls i made this a long time ago and my style changed a lot imm crying i had to scroll way back to my old art to find this thing i okay im done THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I MIGHT EVEN ADD TO THIS LMAOOO

WHY DIDNT THE LINK EMBED IM SO MAD i read the tutorial again and its so badactually sorry guys i am not smart anymore

[nishloves]

hey nish, so here is my ask for the match. thank you again, hope its not a bother!

i am an intj and more of an introvert. i can adapt well depending on my interlocutors and can be really shy as well as extremely outgoing. i love staying outside in the comfort of my house but also like hanging out with my friends even if i loose my energy pretty quickly. i am usually described as someone with a rather calm aura but the moment im really comfortable i am rather crazy lmao. i tend to lose focus quickly, ramble a lot (and forget to whom i said what) and can’t see for shit. i am a lazy perfectionist who hates things being done incorrectly but i want them being done quickly. i can be seen as arrogant but im a huge overthinker. I hate showing my feelings and have a hard time accepting my failures. since im always the youngest in my different friend groups, people tend to baby me which is really advantageous.

regarding my hobbies, i do ballet and modern jazz for more than fifteen years and it’s an art and sport that i am really dedicated to, creating choreographies and being kind of a scary mentor when i want to even if i like being like a big sister » so the youngest (im one of the oldest now). i also used to play tennis but outside those sports, i hate physical activities. i love manual activities such as making jewelleries, embroidery, crochet, drawing silly doodles and painting (even if i can’t wait until it is completely dry). i like reading (esp criminal novels) and love animes (my fav are haikyuu, hxh, fullmetal alchemist and bsd). id like to watch kdrama but i dont have enough time and can’t stay focused for so long anyways.

i am a sucker for light and dark academia and you’ll find me most of the time with velvet pants or oversize jeans and a pullover. finally, if i had to choose only five svt songs, it’d be 24h, home run, i don’t know, fallin’ flowers and hot.

thank you so much, i hope i didn’t ramble too much. love you!

hehe not at all! i loved reading all of it <3

when I read intj, i immediately thought about jun/hao/wonwoo but when I read it further, i thought that you might suit joshua more. but!!! when I read about the ballet portion, i just couldn't help thinking about dino!

so i match you with, wonwoo!

he is one of the most considerate individuals I've ever seen, he would be able to differentiate between your moods and energy levels and take care of you whenever you're out; it's like— he can just understand if you're drained or anything and would politely excuse you both from the gathering if he feels as if you're getting overwhelmed.

he would keep you grounded— scold you when you're wrong and empathise with you when you just want to rant. kind of like a very sturdy shoulder to cry on and your biggest motivation for any project.

he would absolutely love your calm-crazy dynamic, he loves it whenever you're so happy that your calm demeanor of an intj morphs into something more childlike and adorable. he also likes the fact that you have "maknae" tendencies, and would absolutely adore it.

he's not a perfectionist per se, but he has friends who are and rest assured that he will do his absolute best to help you take a break/ break your overthinking thoughts and help you get rational again. (vice versa)

you'd think that having a few hobbies to share might be a problem but it actually isn't; wonwoo is very happy whenever you're doing what you love and it makes him want to engage in your hobby with you. you both push each other to step out of your comfort zones and try out different things <3

and god, if you ever make him a bracelet, or crochet a small keyring for him, he's gonna treasure it; I think he might cry in secret too 😭

he also likes the fact that you don't like physical activities because then he doesn't have to do it, you both would probably spend your days cuddling or trying out each other's hobbies or cheering each other on!

he would be your biggest hypeman for your ballet and jazz music <3

[elsewherewitch]

Hello 🥥 Could I please get a reading? I want to know what will my future be like when I become an actress? I am going to go to personal classes in September and will pursue a career in the film industry. Thank you, I am Polly 🏹

Hello Polly! You are the first tarot request, so you actually get 3-cards! Woo-hoo🔮

Your question was simple enough so I added two additional clarifying questions for your extra card-pulls.

What will your future be like when you become an actress?

What do you have to look forward to in this industry?

What do you need to know?

I used The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit deck by Kim Krans. This deck is advice heavy (even if unwanted, literally did that to me right before your reading 😒) and focuses on the negative so you can create the positive from it.

Here is your 3-Card Reading:

Card #1: The Octopus

This card is complex. It means messy relationships and oversharing at the wrong times. This is a weakness in this industry. Do not assume everyone has your best interest at heart. Speaking from personal & professional experience, the theatre & film industries are ruthless. People will use your weaknesses against you. You must be weary of colleagues and keep your guard up. This is a job and people will do what they can to climb the later. Do not overshare and be slow to trust. Do not give trust until it is earned. You must be tough and be able to handle rejection, because you will be rejected over and over again. Learn from it, use it. Do not mistake prying for casual conversation because then you are risking burnout or blacklisting. If you are cautious and set boundaries with those around you then you will thrive.

Card #2: The Crocodile

This card emphasizes the power and strength in patience. Listen to those around you, observe, be quiet, learn, and you will do well. Once you begin to stop and find the power in waiting you will be able to better identify opportunities coming your way. You will have something big, if you are smart and strong enough to wait for it. Do not misunderstand this card, being idle is of no use. You must work and learn. Networking, influence, and reputation is everything in this industry. Use it to your advantage and just like the crocodile: strike when the time is right and you will find what you seek.

Card #3: The Mouse

This card wants you to know that you are a perfectionist and an over-thinker. It is telling you that this will not serve you well in this industry. It is better to go out and audition for roles that might not fit, rather than not go at all. There is not waiting and wanting in this industry, just doing. Do not get caught up on the details or you will miss opportunities. Be true and do the best you can, but do not dwell on minor things. Big things are coming if you are ready when they arrive. Don’t be nervous, be confident even when your resume is wrong or your headshot printed poorly. Only you know what you are capable of, so you must show your potential without worrying about the little things.

I hope you enjoyed your free reading and let me know if it was accurate or resonated with you💜 Best of luck on your future endeavors! ~Elsewhere🌚