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#do let me know if i've missed any!
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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maybebabyplease · 2 years
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one-shot fic recs
ok so i’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much i LOVE a one-shot. this def did not used to be the case -- as a teenager and as a younger adult (28 is still young obv but i’m talking like my early 20s) i read a lot more long fics. but now i have a high-pressure job and a partner and too many friends and my own writing and all these, like, responsibilities. ew! with less time to read fic, i find myself gravitating towards shorter works.
in comes the one-shot! writing short can be so, so hard, and i’m always impressed when authors can give a fantastic, complete story in under 15k words. so, on that note, here are a few of my favs that i love to revisit! 
Terms and Conditions by @squidgilator (wolfstar, T, 6852 words)
These terms and conditions create a contract between you and R.J.L. (the “Agreement”). Please read the Agreement carefully. To confirm your understanding and acceptance of the Agreement, check “Agree” and sign.
The Other Side of the Wall (or Laundry Day is Every Day) by bluberd (wolfstar, E, 10176 words)
Sirius has never been the most moral of people, but he's pretty sure that wanking off to the sounds of Remus having sex is crossing some sort of line.
Credit No Credit by @halictus-writer (wolfstar, E, 13968 words)
Remus and Sirius are both applying to graduate school. Whenever they cross paths at program visits, they inevitably hook up. This situation would make more sense to their friends if they weren't supposed to be enemies.
A wolfstar university-set enemies with benefits to lovers AU.
moonlight sonata by @pancakehouse (wolfstar, M, 13799 words)
On the drive to Lupin Family Christmas, Sirius and Remus break up. What follows is several days of heartbreak, longing, and two boys trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
And if it's worth making right again.
Under Arrest by @lostmykeysie (wolfstar, M, 4163 words)
Remus has just had his first book published, and this rightly calls for a party. His friends and coworkers are there, the champagne is flowing, and life cannot get any better.
And then the doorbell rings.
ok so these all turned out to be wolfstar bc i...absolutely do not make rec lists and thus 0% planned this, but i’d love to see what other short fics everyone’s reading in other pairings too! anything under 15k will do :) feel free to link me in the replies etc. xoxoxo love you all!
**EDIT**: i am removing one of the fics i originally had on this list bc someone has called to my attention that the author jellybeany has said some genuinely awful and disturbing things. no support of that (or ANY of jkr’s views) on my page! 
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inkclover · 1 year
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I'm perfectly normal about her-🌟☀️ TW: eyestrain, spooky eye peepers👁️
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messy sketches over the pass week or so
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holocene-sims · 1 year
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i built this cafe for my story and i felt like sharing it as a random follower's gift, so tada! here it is ☕
details:
price: $39,895
lot size: 20x15
originally built on 6-4-1 hanamigawa in mt. komorebi
not cc-free & uses most of the packs
bonus:
three pieces of cc are included in the file (abandoned cc reupload)
also included is a list of all the other cc you'll need to download + the packs i used in the build!
download:
(no ads) - dropbox
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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deeva-arud · 9 months
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Boo!
I'm the paranormal activity on your dash :]
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izzy-b-hands · 3 months
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You ever have a day where you feel like you're doing everything wrong, even when you're like. just doing things you normally do. And are alone, so like the only person i could in theory upset/piss off/etc right now is me myself, and Yet the feeling persists
Yeaaaaah. That's today's vibe for me apparently lmao
#text post#it's fine bc i know it's probably just a culmination of a couple different worries that i should be able to address#in the coming days/weeks but all the same#my brain is pinging like no you immediately need to check with everyone you know that you aren't mucking up#but like. if that was the case they'd talk to me and let me know#and i could apologise recognise where/how I've fucked up and change what I'm doing/try to do better#some days i just can't turn off the 'everyone is frustrated with u & feeling worse bc u aren't recognising that u fucked up' feeling#bc sometimes it's true! i missed a cue or didn't properly pick up what was being put down/implied!!#and when i do that it just. kills me 💀#like i know that life does just involve fucking up sometimes and being in the wrong and apologising and doing better#but also oh god i need to know immediately if I've fucked up so i can do better and try to make things right#or as close to right as possible#i need to stop typing tags and get onto the survey sites and into the chores that need doing today#fr tho if i have fucked up recently & any friends on here know/have been nervous to tell me#pls just do. i want to know so i can try not to make the same fuck up again#the anxiety over feeling like I've fucked up something but haven't realised it is ten times worse than#being told i fucked up apologising and figuring out how I'm going to try and make things better#no more tags rn tho!! time to try and get something done!!!
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neversetyoufree · 2 years
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Hey! In your recent post about Noè and asexuality, you mentioned there being more evidence displaying that Vanitas finds Noè attractive than vice versa. As soon as I read it, I found myself agreeing but when I stopped to think about it I couldn't recall a panel that really suggests that, off the top of my head. This also isn't a view I have seen a lot of other vnc fans talk about so I'd really appreciate if you could expand on it / unpack it a bit more. Anyway, love your blog!
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[Image Description: An anonymous tumblr ask. It reads: "Hi! I have just recently found your Tumblr blog and have been loving all your analyses. I only found out about the vnc manga a few months ago and some of your posts have been so useful in explaining some deeper themes/subtext that I was confused about. I was reading your ace Noé post and saw that you mentioned that there is more canon evidence that supports Vanitas finding Noé attractive than the other way around. I was hoping you could expand on this?" End ID.]
First of all, thank you both so much for your kind words! It makes me so genuinely happy to hear that y'all like what I post.
And for anyone curious, here's the ace Noé post that both anons mention.
Now as for your question, that's kind of a difficult one. I said that there's more evidence for Vanitas being attracted to Noé than vice versa (in terms of traditional physical attraction, not blood stuff), and I do stand by that. However, Noé has shown pretty much no physical attraction to Vanitas in non-blood contexts, and more than zero doesn't necessarily mean a lot. This whole post is going to be tiny details and subtext, because "Vanitas is attracted to Noé" is definitely not a major or certain thing.
That said, I do think you can make an argument for the idea.
For starters, let's go with the classic Vanoé bait panel: Vanitas's reaction to Noé's excitement over Paris.
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Vanitas is at his most performative in the early chapters of VnC, and though he does sometimes act borderline flirtatious (like when he gets up in Noé's personal space to poke him in the chest), I'm not inclined to give those moments actual weight. It's all too much a part of Vanitas's act to be good evidence for real feelings of attraction.
However, in this particular scene, that argument doesn't hold. Vanitas will play up his flirty persona in order to change the subject when he gets uncomfortable, but there's no reason for him to do that here. There's no need for him to change the subject, and Noé's not paying him any attention. His expression here is just his genuine reaction, not part of a performance made to influence Noé, and it's such a fond reaction!
Vanitas has only just met Noé, but here he is so softly entertained by Noé's glee. It speaks to an immediate draw to and enjoyment of Noé on Vanitas's part, and that doesn't have to mean romantic attraction, but it certainly fits well with that argument. Noé is extremely cute here, and Vanitas likes that about him. Make of that what you will.
Even more than that scene, though I think the most explicit moment of Vanitas's attraction is one of his reactions in the bell tower.
In the middle of Noé's speech to Vanitas in chapter 11, he smiles at him properly for the first time. This is also when we the audience first see Noé smile for the outside of a flashback, so you know that that moment is important both for Noé and to Mochijun. And it also makes quite an impact on Vanitas.
Noé tells Vanitas that he wants to stick with him and see out his "salvation" mission, and then there's an extra beat, a panel for just Noé's smile, and only then do we see Vanitas's reaction to all this.
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He's so struck! Noé has a huge effect on Vanitas in this moment, even before he's finished his whole speech. His words have a big part of it, of course they do, but the way the page is paced (with an extra, albeit cropped panel for that smile) makes me think that Noé's appearance itself is also pretty key for provoking that reaction. If the way Noé looks while smiling didn't need extra emphasis, Mochijun could've given him the smile in the panel above these where he's speaking, rather than give it its own shot.
Noé looks at Vanitas like this for the first time, and Vanitas's eyes go wide with awe. Because Noé is a goddamned vision. It's even more apparent in the animated version, because the animators weren't bound by paneling constraints and could show us Noé's whole face.
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I have had irl lesbian friends tell me how attractive they find Noé in this moment lmao. He's just pretty. So I don't think it's unreasonable to say that Vanitas, in this moment, is affected by how pretty Noé is. Absolutely anyone would be.
It isn't irrefutable proof that he's in love with or generally lusting after the guy, but it is a good argument for a moment of appearance-based attraction, which is something we haven't really seen from Noé toward Vanitas. (We've had Noé staring at him in awe when he does his Book stuff, but never an "oh shit he's hot" moment like this one).
There might be other small moments as well, but these are just the two big ones that I can remember with out combing back through the manga in detail. And though there's no certainty here, these are a pair of scenes that can be read as Vanitas being very struck by Noé's appearance in a way that I don't think we've gotten in reverse.
Any positive number is still more than zero, lmao.
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starberry-skies · 1 month
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idek how to format what i wanna say i'm just gonna ramble in tags b
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hey, hey, quick internet fandom ettiquete lesson; X has two hands jokes only vibe if you are talking to someone who is ALSO already talking about how X has two hands. Okay? Okay. It is in fact very rude to go onto other people’s posts where only one set of hands is involved to evangalise about two hands. When seeing ship art/fic of only half your ot3, it is proper ettiquete to simply enjoy the art/fic as it is, and if so inspired create/commission/seek out the ot3 content of your choice. This has been your quick internet fandom lesson, thank you for your time.
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by any chance does anyone have any demon slayer fic recs where nezuko is actually more of a proper character and gets development and is allowed to grow? cause honestly the further i've gotten in this manga the more disappointed in it i've been with the lack of meaningful development, especially in nezuko
#no idea if this is actually a controversial opinion on the series cause i've not come across much criticism#but i do think it falls short on every character. the concepts are great and i enjoy the characters and had a lot of fun watching and#reading this series. but i do think that it fails to do much that's actually meaningful or impactful with any of the characters#ready to be disagreed with but i feel like the only development nezuko ever got was when she went to attack those humans and had to#be restrained by tanjirou. and it falls incredibly flat when she never really has any other struggles other than at the start of the series#i thought she was meant to be a main character but she's more like a set piece#maybe i'm just missing something cause i'm still about 50 chapters from the end. but i just got so disappointed after they did nothing with#her becoming sun resistant except pull a gag that i didn't want to pick the manga up again#like that was the chance to do more with her and finally give her development and let her relationships develop! and the fact that they did#nothing kind of highlighted to me that the series really hadn't done much with any of the characters#there's beats where it feels like there's growth but i don't actually know what about the characters has grown??? apart from getting a new#power and being stronger because of it#they don't grow as characters. and supposed development only ever happens during fights or off screen#anyway i should stop criticising. i'm just very disappointed cause i really enjoyed the manga and then that happened and it was like what's#the point#criticism#demon slayer criticism#<- so you can block the tag if you don't want to see this stuff#it feels very negative for the fact that you really can't expect much from shounen. and i DID enjoy it. it's just disappointing#(the shinobu thing is also annoying. like i like that she can't decapitate demons and that she uses poison but the reason for it being that#she's weak and small is bullshit and FEELS like it's written that way because she's a woman)
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seariii · 7 months
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I was stressed but now i'm more chill and really sleepy...
#overall my mood has been better but i am so incredibly terrified of the future... its like....#like i feel as if someone has holding me at gun point and got told thst if i did any mistakes they would shoot#but then im not given clear instructions on what i need to do and i have to figure it out myself#i am really scared... even tho all of this gave me a new objective... i dont wanna be obsolete...#... so... that what we will work on... also... i wanna work towards my dreams...#I've been putting it off for so long i want to do it#people support me and actually enjoy my voice... i want to...#the things on my plate right now are things i can achieve... but i want more... i want things i actually want...#i want...#my house has a constant buzzing sound. i believe its because of the small power plant behind the lot. which makes it difficult for recording#since i have to get rid of that and that messes with the rest of the audio#its comforting to know it wasnt the mic tho... heh...#tomorrow lets try to take the first few steps... well more like lets try to continue with the set up#we have already a couple stuff but we still have a lot missing...#... today the girls said some stuff that impressed me... thats how im perceived?... is that what people think of me?#i kinda want to... fulfill those 'expectations'... they dont expect anything but its more of a me thing... ive been dreaming and hoping for#so long but i dont take the next step. i never do... and its because of the executive dysfunction... but... once i get the hang of it...#once i do... everything will be excellent... and we will take it easy#i am so tired already... i feel im gonan falla sleep#seari talks
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medicinemane · 15 days
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You know, looking at a diet soda can it occurs to me that it might not be so wretched to me if the cans weren't so unpleasant
Like we know that things like color play a role in how our brain perceives things, and I realized looking at the can that they're always this bland but at the same time nasty looking silver and it just... it looks foul and I think that compounds with the fact that I also just plain don't like diet soda
My point here isn't to say anyone else shouldn't like diet soda, just how I never realized how much of an impact the can has on me not liking it... there's just something offputting about it to me
#I don't ever drink soda these days#like I drink so little soda that root beer is basically something I treat like a dessert at this point#and it's funny; cause I drank nothing but soda when I was a teen#it was just kinda like a switch flipped one day; no idea on why#which is a shame; cause I've known people who really really wanted to stop drinking soda and... I wish I could tell them what I did#but... I kinda didn't do anything; I just changed#would love if I could give practical advice#now; you'll never hear me shitting on people for drinking soda; or have me sitting here telling people how awful it is#we all know what soda is; I mean man... you wouldn't have helped me if you lectured me back when I was drinking nothing but soda#in fact you'd probably have held me back from whatever clicked to make me stop cause you would have annoyed me#...but I don't miss it; now it's so damn sweet to me cause I got sometimes years without drinking it#nah... occasional root beer at a specific pizza place or with dessert; that suits me just fine#anyway; what my real point was is take my thoughts on diet soda with that grain of salt that I don't like regular soda either#I'll take regular over diet any day cause I prefer the sweeteners... like... if it's gonna be a once in a blue moon thing#I know which sweetener I'd rather taste; and it's not gonna be that big a deal to me either way cause I have it so rarely#but yeah; when I make this observation know it comes from someone that never drinks soda#so it's not like my input is that important or useful#...and yet... I'm not gonna go look up how to spell it; but you know barques... barks? you know that one root beer has a silver can#and that wasn't as much of a problem though... I think that even though I liked it the can was a hang up for me that spoiled it a little#really I just like all the brands of root beer; they're all different; but all good in their own way#I should go to Japan and preform as a masochist for them; since my understanding is the general consensus there is#that root beer tastes like medicine; let me put on a show as a weird american who drinks the thing they think is bad and enjoys it
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asinglesock · 1 month
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just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.
#a sock speaks#local construction#fundamentally I lack the confidence needed to be a writer or a teacher#on the one hand I can't brazen my way out of this by pretending to be confident. I need to actually have the knowledge and skills I claim.#on the other hand I can't just say I'll be confident once I have more knowledge and experience. I have a master's degree!#I want to get more school but more school on its own will not fix this#I've let opportunities pass by because I was depressed. I didn't see how I could be enough for them.#or I was too tired (because I was depressed)#but sometimes it's bc I'm not sure if trying would make things better or worse (that one's on the OCD more than depression)#it makes sense that I lack confidence because of inexperience. but I can only gain experience by going for it. doing things badly is good.#it makes sense that I'm scared to face criticism. I've faced my whole community against me.#I've been stuck at someone's house debating scripture for hours with a migraine and no food. I think that was mildly traumatic for me.#but in most cases I am physically safe and the physical fear is irrational. I can work on this with some gentle exposure therapy.#but I need to bring together the effort to organize my thoughts and the bravado to hold my ground in an argument#and I can only build up this confidence with practice. I need to write. I need to do public speaking.#I'd need a platform for speaking (I'd hate to do a podcast or vlog but it'd be good for me)#but I should write! why am I not writing more? I need to write. writing is the way forward#several years ago I was in such deep despair with life that in order to survive I told myself#that I just had to survive. I didn't have to achieve anything or prove myself in any way as long as I stayed alive#and I went to grad school in Georgia not because I saw a path to a career in biblical studies but because school made me want to be alive#(extremely bizarre case of grad school not being the problem. I know.)#I know I missed a lot of benefits I could've had if I'd been mentally healthy when I went. but it's okay because it kept me going#I can go back to school or not go back. do biblical studies or do something else. I don't have big expectations for myself#but as my mental health improves it occurs to me that I COULD do more if only I believed it was worth the effort#I don't need to fear failure when the alternative was not even attempting it#I need to write. I need to write. I need to write.#I'm thinking I might start a newsletter or blog or something. some Bible stuff and some church/social commentary. just kind of open ended.
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snootlestheangel · 2 months
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Drowning out my feelings with Dr. Pepper, falling back in love with Silence is Golden But Consequences Are Red, and thoughts of Mother Hen Wolf Shifter!Ghost
*rant in the tags if y'all want*
#i have been having entirely too many feelings lately#and not a time nor place to cope#I have been having far too many conversations about the future and it's starting to make me freak out#this aquarium trip was supposed to help me answer the questions I had about what schooling/degree I would need to be an aquarist#all it did though was make me realize that being an aquarist may not actually be right for me#which now means I don't know what I would be going back to school for#which sucks absolute ass because I miss being a student. I miss that freedom and I miss learning#i miss being a college student so badly actually and I honestly regret dropping out. Like I did before but now#I always told myself it was for the best cause it's better than failing a semester and tanking my GPA#but now I've been stuck in this horrible depressive cycle and feeling so fucking burntout I can barely function half the time#now I don't have any time or energy to do things I love let alone do some self learning#I currently don't see any point in going back to school cause I don't even know what I would go back for and it's fucking scary#all of my siblings have had major things happen and are progressing on with their lives#and like I get i'm barely even in my twenties and I shouldn't be panicking this badly about my life#I feel like half of my troubles are self inflicted even though they're really truly not#but I can't help but feel I've doomed myself and my motor functioning is worsening#my executive functioning is down the fucking toilet and I can't fucking fix it and it's upsetting me#but god i just had a birthday this past week and about three years ago when I started college#I really believed I'd be in a much different place at this age than I am now#and it's scary it's fucking terrifying and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and all I am doing is spiraling really badly
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girlcrushau · 6 months
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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