#do it yourself for less
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There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.
#you will make superficial edits that do not gell well with the rest of your work#and won't actually capture what you thought was so good about that story#close the doc. sit down. think about it for a while. inspiration is fine. getting a 'eureka' moment from another story is fine#but if you find yourself comparing your work one to one with someone else's and taking any differences to be flaws on your part then STOP#you will never write good stuff by trying to make it look less like you wrote it#writing#writing advice#guess who just had to go into her google doc history and undo a bunch of panic-induced edits#because she read a fic about the same characters she's writing for?#meeee. they aged badly within just a few hours of hindsight. learn from my mistakes#self-hatred is not a good motivation for creation#fic writing
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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get a room guys
#in my head it takes them a WHILE to get to this point obviously but even then touch and stuff like this is easier for the two of them#as opposed to like. siffrin or loop and the others. less guilt when it’s just yourself. not None not No issues for sure but. yknow#isat#siffrin#loop#i feel crazy putting disclaimers on like everything i draw but it’s like. i understand these guys have issues and it would take complicated#circumstances for them to do certain things. but i want to draw those things. so#i haven’t been in fandom in too long and it shows im like a nervous dog
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I know I've talked a lot about Alhaitham actually being one of the funniest characters in Genshin Impact, but every time I think about him, I find something new to laugh at.
Alhaitham's character stories and personal criticisms of Kaveh largely hinge on one specific point: That Kaveh's genius intellect and artistic abilities are incongruous with his idealism. Kaveh possesses more talent than a selfless person should reasonably have, leaving him vulnerable to constantly being taken advantage of.
However, Alhaitham states these complaints about Kaveh's personality while having the exact same problem himself.
Alhaitham is literally the definition of "personality and talents do not match." Sir, you are the pot calling the kettle black.
It's a given: Alhaitham is exceedingly competent. He is intelligent, rational, and capable of being impartial when needed. Despite being a slacker as the Akademiya's scribe, during his stint as the Acting Grand Sage, the game goes out of its way to note--in several places--that Alhaitham was actually going above and beyond what was expected of him, taking the position very seriously, uncovering and fixing major issues in the Akademiya, and demonstrating a deep care for the sanctity and future of the Akademiya as a whole when Sumeru's people's will to research and learn declined after the collapse of the Akasha.
By all accounts, Alhaitham is (was) a fantastic Grand Sage. Compared to Azar, who is shown as inherently self-aggrandizing and unconcerned with Sumeru's well-being, Alhaitham genuinely did his best during his brief time as Sumeru's leader, protecting students' research, concerning himself with how to address the people's problems, and even diving in to solve mysteries that normally would have been left for the matra. As Acting Grand Sage, we're told his behavior and judgments were fair, and he addressed problems immediately and with his full effort.
In short, there is literally no one else more qualified to be Grand Sage than Alhaitham.
And yet, despite possessing every talent needed to be the leader of a nation, Alhaitham doesn't have the personality for it. He has every single trait a good leader requires... And yet he refuses to be a leader. His own talent vastly exceeds the slow-paced life his personality leads him to seek, making his particular abilities more incongruous with his values than Kaveh's--by a mile. People keep trying to promote him into positions of leadership because his talents are so obvious, and yet he does everything in his power to deny his own abilities and instead fly under the radar--and under the level of his full potential too.
Awful hypocritical for you to claim Kaveh's talents don't match his personality when yours match even less, Alhaitham...
#genshin impact#alhaitham#kaveh#“You should be less selfless Kaveh so your personality and your talents will finally match.”#“Call me when you stop faking incompetence so you can get paid to read on the job ALHAITHAM.”#Scribe “I can't let them know I can read clocks or they'll expect me to show up to the meetings on time” Alhaitham#should probably not talk about talents that exceed one's values#Imagine spending literal years nagging someone#about how they're selling themself short#while going around calling yourself a “feeble scholar” so no one expects you to do any actual work#Imagine being like “I am the least qualified for this position and I'm putting in only the bare minimum”#when your “bare minimum” is 105746060 times better than the last guy#fake idgafer#for real
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i don't like it when someone is easy to reach. when someone is open to everyone, when literally anyone can get their attention. it is a question of values and principles not to be open to everyone and not to have the need for everyone's attention. people who are easily available won't value soulful connections.
#that's something i think about a lot#the same goes for social media#can't take people serious who seek online validation#especially some men are easily to find behind the posts and likes of women#this makes someone clearly unattractive in my eyes#does someone understand what i am trying to say?#how less do you have to think of yourself to fill the void with VARIOUS people?#i like people who stand out#my writing#soul#letters
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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mockley time it's mockley time will you have some mockleys of mine
#my art#oc#mockley#anthro#furry#dinosaur#i think i like this mockley i think i'm guiding her to where she needs to be design-wise to fit in with her human cohorts#and the lines were fun as hell to render. mockley has so many textures#been in an art rut recently. feel like i'm guiding my art where i don't want it to go. and also feel limited in what i can do#big pity party basically lol but it's good to recognise that and be like well whatever. just do some studies and get back on track#less throwing myself against the same wall and more finding a ladder to get over it. which will involve more studies and less oc drawings#and also less comparing myself to other people and especially people younger than me who have amazing art it's BAD for you#compete with YOURSELF and you can neverrr lose. you can never lose if you have fun LOSING#learn to LOVE losing#my favourite vinny vinesauce quote and one of my favourite motivational quotes ever. he said it as a joke while salty at mario kart#but it's resonated positively in my life ever since hearing it#fall in love with failing.....learn to love losing....(said to myself)
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forgot to post this the other day but i gave myself a little nameless ghoul :3
#ramble#the band ghost#ghost bc#tattoo apprentice things#couldn't pull a line to save my life that day#i had to do SO much fixing#i'm going to say it was just a really awkward placement to do on yourself bc it's right under the knee when you cross your legs#the line weight and the shading saved it and the more i look at it the less i hate it#like if you're not LOOKING for imperfections it's fine. and considering it's the 3rd one i've done on real skin#and it's a lot bigger than the others. it's FINE#i know if i got this from someone else i would NOT think 'this is a terrible tattoo'#it's not perfect but it's not bad#my mentor has said i'm being too hard on myself and she's right akdhdhfh#i might go back once it's healed and even out the thick outlines but right now it doesn't need fixing at all
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yan wushi's betrayal is necessary, his cruelty is the point!!! much like the audience, shen qiao believes that there's kindness in yan wushi, and with time spent together, it will eventually show, no matter how small. that although they walk different paths, shen qiao's is the ultimate truth.
shen qiao's character flaw is not his kindness. it's his ignorance. and he doesn't truly accept (we, the audience, don't truly understand) this until yan wushi betrays him.
#the amount of times i've seen sentiments like 'i love how yws is less evil in the donghua' or people hoping that he's a softie inside#wanting to take away a crutial part of his character because it makes you uncomfortable is strange#because if you were to do that would you be talking about yan wushi? it's good if he makes you uncomfortable#it's good if liking him makes you uncomfortable. that's the whole point!#qian qiu is not this epic love story where good and evil fall in love. it's about ideals it's about power#it's about how you can be held back in life by yourself. it's about morality community hope. love just so happens to also be discussed#and yes. both shen qiao and yan wushi are more than their respective philosophies. but those are the fundaments their character stands on#thousand autumns#qian qiu#yan wushi#shen qiao#yanshen
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i'm aware that due to luffy's more cheerful personality and looks, a lot of people might find it weird to picture him in sexual situations. especially since most of us see him as aroace (as if aroace people couldn't have sex or be in love but, y'know, that's for another time) and it's completely understandable to not feel comfortable around sexual stuff if you don't like it with this specific character. however, being uncomfortable around that type of content and infantilizing luffy's character to the point that you consider it problematic or wrong to put him in romantic/sexual situations is too much and you should let people enjoy characters however the fuck they want. if you don't like something just scroll and ignore it, but don't try to make everyone follow your own moral compass and likes because we're all different and luffy is just a fictional character.
people often forget he's the captain of a pirate crew. he's mature and has critical thinking and if seeing a cheerful/cute character instantly makes you assume he deserves to be "protected" from sex/romance, you are: infantilizing his personality (that may or may not be neurodivergent coded, but that's another story), villainizing sex and romance instead of just seeing those as something you don't personally enjoy but should let other people consume, and using being aroace as a shield from the real world and a stereotype instead of actually being inclusive and truly seeing him as aroaspec. friendly reminder that aroaspec people can have sex and be in romantic relationships because it's a spectrum. that's the whole thing about it. it's understandable to not be comfortable around sexual situations with a character you don't perceive as sexually active, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to write him that way. let people do whatever they want with their idea of luffy and have fun!
#sorry i'm a bit tired of people around here#this was written by an aroaspec person by the way#like y'all be treating luffy like a KID when he's literally 19#stop infantilizing the aroace spectrum stop infantilizing neurodivergent people stop infantilizing luffy's personality and looks bc he's 19#also stop using being aroaspec as something that keeps you away from sex and romance completely#if you do this you don't respect or understand aroace people and you're just using us to make yourself feel more comfortable#stop villainizing sex and romance too btw it doesn't make you less pure or worthy of being a good character#that being said please see luffy however you like bc he's a fictional character#one piece#monkey d luffy#zolu#lawlu#<- using these tags bc i saw discourse abt this with these two ships and i find it appropriate
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the candle.
a comic about rediscovering passion and recovering from burnout.
creative notes:
#this comic ended up feeling so much more somber than i think i originally intended#i hope the conclusion at the end comes off more settled and happy than it does reluctant or disappointed#since i do feel that way. happy that is#its a cliche but returning to your inner child#just making stuff that YOU'D like to see more of#it does wonders for making you feel less like being a creator means giving away parts of yourself#im sorry if this is coming off as preachy#obviously you can do what you like#and im not ever gonna be the wisest person in the room#im barely into my 20s#but i spent almost a year torturing myself over what i wanted to be#deciding to just...do what i thought would be cool ended up being the best possible decision#its 10pm#this series makes me really marinate in my own issues#very pretentious but at this point its my brand#comic art#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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YES! JOIN ME IN THE DELCIOUS DUNGEONS!
#ask#non mdzs#I truly cannot emphasise enough how much of a rush it is to hear that people checked out Dungeon Meshi in part due to my comics#I do imagine its a multi-factorial thing (its been everywhere lately and its been around for a decade with people singing its praises)#I am going to get so tall by the end of season one. Thank you to everyone who reports back about getting into Dungeon Meshi.#You are making the hours spent on comics and sleepless nights worth it <3#Also to the person who said they think this series could fix them: IT CAN.#The power of Senshi is *real*. I have learned so much self-care from the wise words of that dwarf.#It's a hard road to put yourself first when you've been taught to push yourself but woah...#“looking after your health is a greater sign of responsibility that pushing yourself to exhaustion” is a *life changing* message.#Yes I said that right after 'sleepless nights making comics'. I've been doing it less! I've been taking more breaks!
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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I see a lot of creatives (including myself!) frustrated at themselves for not working on their craft enough. Please consider the only reference point you have for a productive day’s work is the one given to you by an incredibly abusive capitalist system and that’s not sustainable for your job, much less your hobbies outside of a job. Please!
#this is mostly @ writers because y’all are horrible bosses to yourself#and a reminder to myself#there’s a whole cycle I’ve noticed where worrying about not doing enough leads to me doing even less. I need to make a chart#it’s supposed to be fun!#art and hobbies are supposed to be fun!#I can focus for an hour straight before I need a break#and I can do that four times a day before I’m done#mine
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Call me crazy but I don't think following thru on BBEG's plan yourself doesn't make it any less evil
#guys doing the bbeg's plan yourself doesn't make it any less evil ffs#critical role#critrole#critrole memes#bells hells#bell's hells#ludinus da'leth#predathos#dorian storm#ashton greymoore#corellon#corellon the arch heart#the arch heart#cr spoilers#cr memes#cr shitpost#courtesy of me#cr campaign three#crit role#critrole meme#cr3#cr c3
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HABIT
“I just wanted flowers.”
It really pained you, that you asked for the simplest thing and didn’t receive it.
After months of asking, and buying your own flowers, you decided to not let this battle slide away from you anymore.
HABIT was always good to you, with constant praise, and date nights, and promises to get you things.
And yet, you always have to drag him out of his work just to remind him that you exist that day.
And deep down, it hurts. Because flowers are so simple, and at the right time of year you can find them in the side of the road.
They’re not expensive, not that money is of any proper value to him.
Your hope was fading, and you’ve realized you have pushed too far, because u like the other times you didn’t want to take, “I’m working on it, my sweet. I have plans for you. Big ones ” for an answer, when he has said that over a year ago.
You cried yourself to sleep that night, knowing he won’t come to bed until the late hours of the morning after hovering over his work for the whole day.
He won’t notice the dried tear stains on your pillow because he was too busy admiring how soft your skin looked in the moonlight.
A hopeless romantic, they call them. Maybe even a little narcissistic.
Too obliviously in love to value what you asked for, and has already decided what you really want.
HABIT didn’t think that you wanted silly old dying flowers. Nooo, you wanted a full garden. A bountiful garden that will last through the cold winters and stormy summers.
But you didn’t want a garden.
You only wished to dust off your vase, even just for a week out of the year.
Just flowers. Just for one week.
#get your partner flowers#or your friend i’m sure they’ll appreciate it too#creepypasta#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta imagines#creepypasta blog#HABIT#habit x reader#habit emh#habit everymanhybrid#emh x reader#inspired by an event that previously happened#Of course in habits case habit is just an asshole#but as a human you must come to the realization that others will not think the exact same way you do#nor will they love you like you love them but that doesn’t mean that they love you less#love yourself#that’s all kitty will ask of you
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