#do i tag this as salt???
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honestly just in general it's very exhausting to try to analyze media that is literally meant to be analyzed, only for the replies to be filled with people arguing not against your analysis, but against the premise that the media can be analyzed at all.
i don't even know what to say about it without starting to really betray my frustration, so i'll just settle with— just don't engage with analysis posts? I'm serious. if you're typing a response to a media analysis post, reread what you've written and ask yourself "is this comment/response against the very concept of analyzing the media at all?" and if the answer is yes then delete it all and go sit in the shame corner. throw your curtains away if you want to so bad and stop telling me that I'm not allowed to hum and haw at the fact mine are blue
#ml fandom salt#I suppose#and no amount of adding ''stop telling me to not analyze the media'' on my analysis posts stops people from saying it anyway#and yes. the leaks count. stop telling me that the existence of outdated leaks invalidates all analyses of the completed material#and no. just like every other time i've said this. me saying that i don't care about the leaks is not an invitation for you to try to#convince me to care about the leaks#do i tag this spoilers? it feels weird to. i mean this to be a vague overarching thing about media in general#also of course any ''or maybe the writers are just bad'' arguments ALSO are included in this. YOU guys have been my bane since FOREVER#would you guys consider commenting on fanart with ''umm.... drawing seems pretty pointless lmao'' rude?#i know this is not the first time i've made a post like this and i'm sure it won't be the last
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Song: Louis the Child - Big Time
Show: Monkie Kid
Eyestrain warning for fast moving images.
I described the concept for this video to my brother as a joke and ended up spending five days on it WHEEZING anyway in all seriousness excited for the next season and I am lightheartedly coping with the animation change o7 (higher quality version on youtube)
youtube link
#KNOX EDIT (me)#monkie kid#lego monkie kid#comeback kid#mild salt??#monkie kid salt#salt#just tagging it that just in case i'm just coping h;LKGAJSDF#you know i wasn't planning on doing the whole song it was an accident but here we are#i went through the entire series i really did spend five days on thisNG;LKMASDF#NICE TO BE DONE LESGOOOOO#this took like six hours to export and then upload and post okay so i hope you appreciate it--
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That's how gossip starts.
#salt mid student voice: yes its obviously ritsu from the student council. there is no other possibility. what do you mean his older brother#I find this concept SO funny poor mob keeps being forgotten#ritsu is going to be really pissed off once the rumors reach salt mid#mp100#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#terumob#feel free to tag as riteru if you wish to#mp100 fanart#lalarts
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The lore reveals @/stringsnwires provides frighten me to no end.
#i should just give up and tag my shit properly. forgive me for putting this in the tags tea-for-two community#team fortress 2#tf2#engineer tf2#tf2 engineer#i wonder if eating salt is a thing all americans do. as a hobby.
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Silly/Clumsy WB boys HCs
I see hcs like this and theyre always fun/make me laugh o(`ω´ )o
Sakura’s food went down the wrong pipe at a restaurant and when the waiter asked if it was because it was too spicy, he insisted through coughing and tears that that definitely wasn’t the case (he could tell they didnt believe him though)
Tsugeura sometimes lets one rip by accident when he’s exercising. Not even a little fart either, the kind that stops everyone from what they’re doing.
One time Nirei stubbed his toe so hard, he fell and grabbed onto the nearest object. Unfortunately that was the back of Sakura’s pants, making him accidentally moon a few people in class.
Word recall is hard sometimes. So when Choji calls an ambulance a ‘hospital truck’ really what can you do? At least he’s using words. Sometimes he just mimes the shape or action of the thing and insists that you know what he’s talking about. Will draw a picture if he gets frustrated enough, but if it’s something intangible? Well it’s a guessing word game. (Togame is the best at it, but Inugami is on Choji’s wavelength enough that he’s pretty accurate too)
Hiragi calls the first years by the wrong name sometimes, like a mom with too many kids. He’ll yell and say Sugishita when he means Sakura, but he does apologize before yelling again.
Because he’s around older guys a lot, Togame sometime uses really old words or sayings. You haven’t hear the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs” or he’s “bleeding like a stuck pig” in years until you’re stuck under an awning during a passing storm or he comes back from a rough fight, nose still bleeding profusely. Also keeps bag balm/cetaphil, some other really good lotion for calluses and dry skin and just kinda slaps it on whatever shishitoren member he sees who’s hands are cracking, saying that the skin won’t heal as well when they’re older so they better take care of it now.
Umemiya’s got the worst habit of losing, dropping, or sitting on his glasses. He doesn’t realize it until he hears the snap and he’s got them taped up until he can go get them fixed again.
Kaji’s kind of a messy eater. Especially with ice cream or food with sauce on it. Started to get better with checking his face after eating after Hiragi slapped a wet wipe on his face after he devoured a rack of ribs, leaving him looking like he’d cannibalized someone
#i couldve sworn i did ones like this before but…if i did i didnt put them in the masterlist#mari writes#wind breaker#wind breaker headcanons#sakura haruka#nirei akihiko#taiga tsugeura#umemiya hajime#togame jo#hiragi toma#choji tomiyama#i actually wasnt gonna tag them all but…im trying to be better with tagging#writing these helps clear up some writer’s block i think#getting silly with it is my favorite thing#ive done and do most of these EXCEPT tsugeura’s#the boys at work are constantly doing that shit.#was thinking of doing piercing/tattoo hcs but this is way better#togame is old man coded once again but do you know how many guys i have to chase to moisurize their cracked hands and elbows????#esp in winter when we handle the sidewalk salt?? Its stronger than regular salt and burns my hands smth fierce#i got off topic i should do more of these
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First Meetings
#salt SUCKS#dabihawks#hotwings#Mha#Bnha#touya todoroki#keigo takami#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha hawks#mha hawks#my hero academia#all I do is tag
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happy birthday to the guy done dirtiest by the narrative, the one true rat of the league, and the captain of your las vegas aces: kent parson!
#kent parson#omgcp#omgcp fanart#check please#omgcheckplease#bro why does this fandom have so many tags..........#watching the cats take the cup like huh wonder why i'm rooting for the underdogs with the scrappy american heel#surely nothing to do with the four-year-old chip on my shoulder about the kvp epilogue! surely unrelated#ok ok sorry i'm gonna pack the salt back where it came from. i just have so many feelings about him is the thing#elijah does art
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so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi pd#william wisp#vyncent sol#THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece#i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that#if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho#BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH#FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE#i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony#recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day#ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS#its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not#well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i
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due to neat metahuman genesTM duke's skin naturally bends and refracts light like he's made of tiny prisms
normally this isn't a problem (dude isn't edward cullen) but it becomes a problem when you're trying to do say, medical imaging
cue bruce having a heart attack when duke puts on the signal suit for the first time and his vitals flatline (heartbeat and pulse ox sensors use light to calculate certain things about your vitals, hence weird refracty skin makes this Hard)
#batfam#duke thomas#bruce wayne#more cursed wheel headcanons/mini story ideas because its my Favorite#you will never be free of me posting cursed wheel era lmao#bread talk#there is so much more you can do with the skin thing i was just thinking about pulse oximeters#this is also my contribution of positivity in the duke tag today#sorry for the salt#but also not sorry
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I do wonder if Scott knows that by trying to "not enable" pearl's "bad behavior" he is enabling actual bad behavior.
Saying that Pearl(and Impulse i think when he joins up with the group) should go try to make amends with Gem and Joel is like saying to the victim of a bully that they should just talk it out. A bully doesn't need a reason to hate a person, they just do it.
Gem doesn't have a reason to hate Pearl(and Impulse, but scott wasn't talking to him at the time). There might be some disagreement or misunderstanding, but it's not like Gem's just going "I don't like them" she's going "I want everyone to hate them, I want them dead, I want you! to be against them, Kill them, Hurt them" and I very much think Scott is doing the thing where you have Zero information but you like one of them more then the other so that one must be right!
Misinformation and not talking to eachother about important matters, whether relationship with other teams or murder related, will be the downfall of this team imo.
Pearl and Impulse haven't down "Nothing" but they sure haven't down "Something" and It seems like Cleo,,, understands that(from what I know,,, i am still only 4 minutes into the video....)
Gem and Joel want Scott's teammates dead, or more so, Gem, who seems to be the one doing most of the talking bad about the two. Instead of asking Pearl and Impulse What they did, He assumed that they had done something to warrant Gem's dislike already(,,,in,,, episode 2 at the earliest,,,) However, even with this assumption, Gem and Joel still hate His Teammates, and thus, should probably not be on Scott's nice list. The fact that they aren't, kinda says alot about his actual faith in the teammates he chose...
Also Gem is manipulating others to be against Pearl and Impulse at this point, right? I don't think it's entirely Scott's fault that he views the relationship between the three this way, Gem is making it that way. But at the same time, is it? He's not like Bdubs or Etho, who she just lied to and they believed without much word on their part. He's talking about Pearl and Impulses "Bad behavior" with her. He's contributing to Gem's hate.
#Characters only#CHARACTERS ONLY!! Cc's are doing GREAT. i'm having fun!!!! <- going insane#the ramblings of a mad man#scott smajor#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#I won't tag cleo impulse or joel. despite mentioning them. cause they are not the focus imo.#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#wild life spoilers#If you think any of this means i don't like these characters. U are wrong :3#life series#life series spoilers#bully metaphor might be bad but I... have a hard time making things deep. that's the best i can come up with mannn....#If this changes after the first 4 minutes of pearls video... i'll probably make another post going insane about these sillies again XD#take everything I say with a grain of salt. i don't watch scott....#I love talking about the silly minecraft smp relationship in depth despite it probably not mattering!!! It's fun!!!!
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i do just have to say though.................... i feel like people who really really loved the movie's portrayals of the characters are adding aspects of the show characters onto them? you know what i mean? like i see people say that adrien and marinette were more likeable in the movie than the show, when movie adrien didn't perform a single act of kindness in the entire 2 hours despite kindness being a core trait of adrien in the show? marinette was normal and not particularly weird at all and just kind of a generic protagonist? were adrien and marinette actually more interesting in the movie than the show, or are you just cherrypicking the aspects of them you like the from the show and putting them on the movie characters to make your favorite amalgamation?
marinette fell for adrien not because he showed vulnerability and forgiveness and kindness and opened his heart up to her.... but because he awkwardly tried to help her up after being kind of weirded out by her? so like i guess she thought he was hot and that was basically it? chat noir fell for ladybug not because she was strong and confident and showed determination in the face of fear... but because she begrudgingly helped him up in the middle of a battle? so like i guess he thought she was hot and that was basically it? they fell for each other over just the bare minimum interactions? most of their relationship was a montage? like, did the movie do the work to convince you of lovesquare's romantic potential, or did you go into the movie already shipping them because the show had already convinced you?
thats totally a valid way to enjoy the movie ftr! i'm just saying.... idk it's weird to see people praising the movie for being "better" when i feel like a lot of the enjoyment of the movie actually hinges on watching the show as context for their characters. and i guess im just a cringe slow-burn enjoyer but i find it weird that people are using "faster" as a synonym for "better"
#ml movie spoilers#ml movie#to be clear i dont hate the movie it's fine#it was fun enough to watch#we dont talk about plagg#i guess im mostly just '?' about people dismissing all the work the show put in#i just know people are gonna use this post as an excuse to hate on the show but auauaggghhh i really dont care if you hate the show lol#in fact thats kind of the point. i find it weird people are using the movie as an excuse to dunk on the show when the movie didnt#actually do anything particularly substantial#ml fandom salt#<- i guess? i'll tag it to be safe
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If I may throw my hat into the ring here, I think the source of a lot of problems in the writing of Miraculous can be boiled down to its confusion over its target demographic.
There are two very clear audiences the show is trying to cater to:
Grade school girls around 5-10
Teens/young adults around 15-20
And this results in some. unique conflicts in the show's internal logic.
Because it's a superhero show for little kids, it's full of fun, bright colors, wacky villain-of-the-week designs, and the characters are all very straightforward with exaggerated personality traits. The cheerful, clumsy, scatterbrained girl protagonist, her utterly charming and goofy (but slightly clueless) love interest, her cool best friend, her mean bully, etc.
This extends to the romance; the show is so comedic that Marinette's nervous crush and Cat Noir's flirting are played up for laughs. Their more "problematic" behaviors read as cartoon shenanigans first and foremost, which I do think was the intention - they're both shown as being more than a little ridiculous for acting this way, so they're not exactly trying to encourage people to emulate them. They're allowed to be genuinely wholesome, too, because it's nice to give the kids something to go "aww!" at, but it's not meant to be more complicated or deep than that.
And of course, it's gotta follow a sweet and simple episodic formula! A conflict in Marinette's civilian life, an inciting incident to get a side character upset enough for Hawk Moth to turn into a villain, Ladybug and Cat Noir show up, there's fun banter, Ladybug uses her Lucky Charm to figure out a wacky solution to the problem, and boom! The day is saved, Marinette and/or someone else learns a moral, and we get a cute little end screen showing all the key players of the episode.
The one aspect of the show's setup that's a little more serious is the fact that Adrien has a super controlling and distant father, but even this is something that doesn't necessarily break the kid-friendly tone for the first season or two. Superhero shows in particular like to put in some stuff that's a little more emotionally challenging for the viewers, even when they're mostly comedic, so it's not totally out of place here.
For example, while they tend to have more grounded tones overall, Spider-Man cartoons are aimed at kids and regularly keep the conflict between Harry Osborn and his father, Norman, intact; often including the plot point of Norman being the Green Goblin, a notorious villain. It's a similar deal with Adrien, and his dad secretly being Hawk Moth.
You can easily anticipate drama coming from this, but the show primes you to expect it to work out fine in the end because every other conflict so far has been wrapped up in a nice little bow once the episode's over. Though I will say, the choice to have Hawk Moth be Gabriel instead of his own, separate character is perhaps the first sign of the tone shift to come.
And, uh. it sure is a shift.
See, Miraculous does not start out with what you'd call a... plot. It vaguely alludes to there being more going on behind the scenes, but the only thing it really tries to get you invested in is the Love Square dynamic. Marinette and Adrien dancing around each other while fighting crime IS the plot, and it's clearly going to end with a cool final confrontation with Hawk Moth.
You expect it to end like... well, like the movie. Identities are revealed, Gabriel realizes the error of his ways when he finds out he's been fighting his son this whole time, and they may or may not make up but he almost definitely gets arrested. Marinette and Adrien kiss, roll credits.
This is not what happens, because the plot the writers actually had in mind is complex in a way that I would argue is meant for the same audience as YA novels. And with that plot comes a lot of darker, weightier traits to these otherwise silly characters.
Marinette isn't just scatterbrained and nervous, she has debilitating anxiety and an increasing need to be in control of everything due to the stress she's under. She has panic attacks on-screen. She's not just great at strategizing, she also knows how to manipulate people, and does so with increasing frequency - and to Cat Noir at times, no less. Her positive traits haven't gone anywhere, she's still loving and creative and sweet and doing her best to help everyone she can, she just. has all of that other stuff going on, now.
Adrien isn't just a charming, goofy, clueless love interest with a gazillion skills and a controlling father, he's like. actively being abused, and in some cases straight-up mind controlled. His tendency to heroically sacrifice himself so that Ladybug can do her Cool Protagonist Thing is gradually but unmistakably reframed as being a sign of suicidal inclinations. He has identity issues out the wazoo and he doesn't even know he's an artificially created human yet, because everyone in his life is keeping secrets from him and/or lying to his face about crucial information.
Information like, uh. how his dad died???
Yeah, so we're at a point in the story now where there was no satisfying conclusion to the Gabriel plot, no team-up, no moment where he realizes he's been fighting his son, none of that. He still has something akin to a change of heart, but he also still kind of gets what he wants - the Miraculous of the Ladybug and Black Cat, which he uses to rewrite the universe with a wish. It's just that instead of reviving his wife, he trades his life for Natalie's. Of course, he was already dying anyway, which was his own fault but he did force Cat Noir's Cataclysm onto himself, so, that's another thing poor Adrien is going to have to deal with at some point.
And because there's all these astronomically messed up things in Adrien's life, and Marinette's the one who got to learn about all of it before him, she decides that maybe it would be better if he just. didn't know about it. Which is understandable, if I was 14 and had all this information about my boyfriend's life that he didn't, I wouldn't know how to begin telling him about it, either.
But. can you see how we've maybe lost the plot, here?
Here's the thing: starting with a simple framework and gradually getting more complex and subverting the audience's expectations for how the main villain is going to be dealt with is not a bad thing. The fact that it gets darker over time is not an issue. I actually think that all these developments are, themselves, pretty cool! I'm a sucker for angst and complex character dynamics and the show is absolutely giving me those things.
The problem is that it didn't just start with a simple framework, it started with the framework for a different demographic entirely, and perhaps just as importantly, it never actually... stopped.
For as much complexity and intensity they're injecting this story with, they're still working under the logic of it being "for young kids." We still get goofy villain-of-the-week designs with equally goofy motivations, and the supporting cast is stuck remaining two-dimensional no matter their circumstances. Chloe is the most blatant example of this - she was made to be a simple bully first, so no matter what else they do with her, she has to remain straightforwardly evil.
This, I think, is the reason that Gabriel is a more nuanced and "sympathetic" antagonist than her, and why so much care goes into Adrien's character as a victim of abuse while Chloe is just a Problem Child despite suffering similar neglect; she wasn't made to be interesting, and so the show is resistant to changing that. Gabriel and Adrien, however, were already made with nuance in mind, and so they're allowed to develop as characters. And at the same time, it's a kid's show! We need to teach the kids what kind of behavior is acceptable, and Chloe's home life isn't an excuse to treat people badly, so--!
...Oh crap we're supposed to be teaching kids about acceptable behavior. Uh. Um. Quick, bring back the ice cream akuma who cares way too much about his ships so that Cat Noir can learn about consent! Uhh, but don't change his character too much afterwards, he's only marketable because of his silly flirting, and we can't lose that.
Yeah, remember when I said that the romance having problematic elements to it used to work well enough because it was clearly just exaggerated cartooniness? It wasn't free from criticism or anything, but you could see how it was intended to be endearing and silly, right? You were supposed to point and laugh at Marinette's convoluted plans to spend time with Adrien, at Cat Noir's dramatic flirting attempts that Ladybug herself fondly rolled her eyes at.
The tonal shift into deep character exploration kinda paints the previous stuff in a worse light, and to an extent, I think the writers know that. It's hard to laugh at Cat Noir being flirty all the time when he's also supposed to be taken completely seriously, and the more Ladybug rejects him, the more it turns into harassment, and it. kinda just stops being funny, even with the comedic framing.
It's also hard to laugh at Marinette's crush being so all-consuming when they try to tell us (in what I can only assume was an attempt to get people to stop complaining) that she's like this because it's fueled by an event in her past, one that made her so scared of loving the wrong person that she now needs to know Everything about them before asking them out. Her cartoon antics aren't funny under that light, it's just concerning, but they're dedicated to keeping it up anyway.
The show runs on straightforward cartoon logic where you're not supposed to think about it too hard just as much as it runs on grounded, closer-to-real-life logic where people are messy and complicated and actions have consequences. It's so divided that you can hand-pick parts of the story that are influenced by one or the other pretty easily, and depending on the episode you can find instances of both in the same 20-minute time span. Maybe even multiple times!
Neither thing they're trying to go for is bad, and neither is a better approach than the other, but forcing them into the same show makes both sides suffer.
It's not just hard to laugh at the parts I mentioned earlier, it's hard to take Gabriel seriously as a villain whenever you rewatch an episode and remember that he has a once-per-episode pun-based speech that he says so self-seriously that you can't help but laugh at. It's hard to take him seriously when you remember that he repeatedly akumatized a Literal Baby and practically threw a tantrum every time it didn't work, or when he randomly steals (and enthusiastically performs) his nephew's musical dance number, or something similar that you would only do for a cartoon villain aimed at five-year-olds.
And I can only imagine this whole show is a marketing nightmare, too. Hey, little girls, here's your cool role model! She's cute and smart and talented and powerful and can fix anything by shouting the title of the show! Hope you're having fun watching her tell her boyfriend that his newly-deceased father (who used deepfakes of him to sell merchandise that's built to enslave the population and then locked him in a solitary confinement chamber in another country) was actually a hero who sacrificed himself to stop the main villain instead of, y'know, being the main villain! Aren't you excited to watch her wrestle with the guilt of this lie for the next season or so? Doesn't it just make you want to buy her merchandise??
Like. what is even happening right now. what am I watching. how did we get here and why did we start where we did if this was what the story was going to be about
#miraculous ladybug#ml spoilers#ml s5 spoilers#ml s5 finale#analysis#meta#Does this warrant going under the salt tag?? I don't actually post about this series much#ml salt#just in case#'Who is this show supposed to be for' is a question that haunts me constantly#You can't even say it's a family show because family shows are NOT this conflicted about themselves#It's not just 'for everyone' because it's very specifically For Little Kids and For Young Adults SEPARATELY and AT THE SAME TIME#<-Stuff I couldn't fit in the main analysis but is relevant anyway#To be clear I DO like this show quite a lot and I'm absolutely looking forward to season 6#I just needed to get this out there because it was driving me crazy
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every ii1 contestant + mephone with commentary on how it is to draw them
#juice art#osc#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fanart#watch me tag every one of these mfs#oj ii#paper ii#salt ii#pepper ii#apple ii#marshmallow ii#knife ii#mephone ii#paintbrush ii#lightbulb ii#bomb ii#bow ii#pickle ii#taco ii#baseball ii#nickel ii#balloon ii#payjay#payjay ii#ii payjay#phew#oj drawing started off as a doodle to get me out of art block but i ended up doing this
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Why is Percy the only who has to grovel at the rest of the Weasleys family feet? Why is he the only one who to apologize in a fight that wasn’t one sided.
Both sides made mistakes. Why in fics is Percy the only one begging for forgiveness? Why aren’t the rest of the family reevaluating their choices and wondering what made him want to go anyway?
Is it because that would be admitting they’re wrong? Because clearly Percy was wrong so why is the rest of the family wrong? We were on the right side of the war.
#percy weasley#harry potter#hp meta#non percy Stans scare me#YALL DONT UNDERSTAND HIM LIKE I DO#I GET HIS COMPLEX EMOTIONS#IM A PERCY STAN FIRST AND HUMAN BEING SECOND#hp salt#fandom salt#Harry Potter salt#I think those are the correct tags?#not anti Weasley family#but I am wondering#Weasley family critical
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Dirty Water
Steve Rogers x deep sea mermaid!Reader
Prompt from this dirty ask game with our pairing from the Sun, Salt, and Shield series.
Summary: After a very long (but unofficial) courtship, where Steve is too shy to bring up your anatomy and his compatibility, a cultural misinterpretation quite literally sinks his resolve.
Warnings for smut (I'm gonna have to call this what it is and just say it's monster-f**king, or the one where Steeb gets maybe-CNC-boinked by a 'monster.' Sorry, babes. Ro's dipped a toe into the darkside for a smidge.) MINORS DNI. Poorly--or rather, not--edited and I have no idea the word count...
Steve swallows harshly and tries not to nervously splash his feet in the pool.
"What?" he chokes out.
He can't think of anything more articulate to say, not that it would matter when so much is lost in translation.
All you did was ask about the singing outside the doors of your 'room'--the retrofitted gym pool at the Avengers compound, the one is the basement without windows for your highly sensitive eyes--but he...could never have predicted why you were so curious.
"They're just enjoying themselves," he'd chuckled, shrugging like it was no big deal. "Do you sing?"
The look on your face, jaw slack and head tilting in contemplation, it should have warned him. You unfurled from your relaxed posture, the stance where your arms cross behind your back and fit atop the swell of your--he'd say tail, but it's more like your ass--rump, the rest of your body bent in a curve until your fin nearly touches the surface, and inched closer to his feet in the deep end.
"Yessssss," you hissed slowly through three rows of sharp teeth, crawling up his legs, out of the water, dripping over his lap as you braced large, webbed hands on either side of his hips.
Even in the very low light of damp room, he could see the lavender of your stare drop to his crotch.
"You sing too?"
Steve's an idiot. He didn't understand yet, so that dumbass actually began humming 'You Are My Sunshine' because nothing else occurred to him.
Then he noticed your tail glowing beneath the scales.
Then he realized you were pressing yourself to his legs.
Aaaand then Steve Rogers looked down your body to witness his knee disappearing in a spongy spot where the armoring swelled apart.
Oh god.
"What?" he now asks like an frightened teen seeing boobs for the first time.
"I make you sing?" Your broad green lips turn up in a smile. "Show me."
Suddenly, Steve's forgotten more english than you've learned. "Huh?"
Your flowing, textured hair, shapely even out of the water, sways when you cock your head to the side, looking through your lashes at him.
"How Stevie sing?"
He shivers for the first time in the cool water and lets an involuntary grunt leave his lips.
He's tried to stop himself from imagining your body and how it works to...ya know, and how he might...oh god, he's going to hell, but apparently, you've already been imagining that humans are either masturbating or fucking outside your door at all hours all the time--
--and oh shit, that means you sing as a part of sex.
He turns his head to the almost black ceiling and fails to think of anything else as the light from your body reflects in waves on every wall. He whimpers when he feels a ripple of muscle through the wet cotton of his jeans.
"Doll make Stevie sing?" Your voice is hoarse, and just as quickly as you say that by his throat, you flip back into the water. You can only breathe air for so long without hurting your throat and lungs.
He thinks he's off the hook, praying the tightness in his pants dissipates faster than they'll take to dry, but he lowers his head to find you peeking from the water, intent as ever on learning his ways.
He should be ashamed, so very fucking ashamed, of how badly he wants to take himself out of his pants and watch the wonder of those pretty eyes as he comes at the thought of you, but Steve's drowning in the hope that he can have you. It's been so long that he's wanted this, even in the most innocent ways.
Your final plea bubbles to the surface.
"Show?"
Steve inhales sharply, running a hand through his hair and licking his lips.
This is wrong, he thinks. You should not be doing this.
Yet he does it anyway because he wants to; he wants to so badly.
He sits up straight at the edge of the concrete, popping the button of his jeans and aches as he lowers the zipper. He can't meet your eye while he pulls out his semi-hard cock and fists it harshly.
You're so long that even looking away leaves your shimmering tail in sight, and he thinks he sees you rattle in excitement. It makes him shiver again, and the vibration shakes the moan escaping his tight chest.
Yikes, it does sound a bit like he's singing...
What the hell are you even doing?
Of course, he knows he's touching himself and he knows well enough how to do that, but he shouldn't be doing this in front of you, much less enjoying it. His blood is running so hot beneath his skin, though, the chilly pool feels soothing over his shins where he rolled up his pants (to no avail).
The heat floods his veins and mind to the point rational thought quiets, and Steve's eyes slither up your demure form.
Your eyes get wider and wider the more noise he makes, and his rampant imagination feeds off the sight of that gap in your scales visible as it undulates in the refraction beneath his feet.
He leans his head back and closes his own eyes at just the wrong moment.
Mid-whine, he misses the splashing sound that would have warned him you were coming, and instead Steve is pummeled by the end of your tail and topples into the pool, shocked and sputtering salty water until his body is pinned to the flat of the concrete wall he used to be perch on.
As he scrambles to toss his arms over the ledge, he feels claws dragging his jeans farther down his legs, and the fabric hangs like an anchor while the silky-slick webbing of your fingers glides up and down his thighs.
Then your tongue runs the length of his cock, making Steve moan embarrassingly loud and thrust his hips forward. If he weren't in the water, he'd be a puddle.
Pleasure races up and down his spine, fighting for dominance over the feeling of cold when he slips from the ledge and submerges briefly.
He barely registers the loss of your tongue and your quick lap of swimming before you're backing into him again.
It's on your ass, too, the soft entrance like you rubbed against his knee, but he could not have imagined what it could do--what you could do--how you could manipulate your muscles inside your tail.
He has no brainpower left to describe it. Steve just lets go, trusting your body to hold his weight as one hand grips the mossy softness of your waist and the other hand spreads over your lower back. Out of instinct, he tries to get leverage to push himself in and out of you, but that's useless.
There's a strong ripple of muscle that pulls him in, and in, and in, delicately tight on his sensitive cock and wide enough to slowly suck his balls into the massaging cavern.
Steve's eyes roll far into his head. He's going to pass out if this keeps up.
"Doll," he gasps, but it's too quiet in the slosh of the water. "Please, I'm--"
A clear, high note crescendos from the deep below, something disturbingly pure and paralyzing, and Steve can't move. He can only feel and experience a siren's song in action.
His body twitches violently before his cum is milked sensually, desperately, methodically from his cradled and ravaged pelvis, and never in Steve's long life has he ever been so fucking spent.
He whimpers when your cunt releases him, only faintly aware that he's propped on your back by his elbows as you swim to the shallow end and let him 'stand' on his shaky legs.
The screeching hinge of the door startles him.
"Cap," the junior agent yells over your hiss from the bright light spraying in, "everything okay? I heard..."
Yeah, I couldn't describe it either, Steve thinks.
He spits water from his mouth. "Fine," he huffs back, "we were...singing, and I fell in."
"Oh. Alright. Sorry to disturb you, Miss G." The man nods his apology at your hand-covered eyes and leaves.
Steve can't help but laugh like an insane person, laying to properly float in the water, uncaring what you're up to until he gently hits the stairs leading out of the pool.
Your head rises out of the water hopefully, and he cups your cheeks, still chuckling. He has zero words to describe...anything at the moment, but he can show you a human tradition of affection in return.
Shifting as easily as a feather in the water, he pulls you two together and sweetly presses his salmon lips to your seaweed pout, letting your long locs fall over his own shoulders.
Soon, he's gasping for air again, yet just before you dunk below the surface, you grin and coo at him.
"Stevie sings lovely."
[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
what...the hell have i done. *hits post before final two braincells protest*
@fandom-has-taken-me-hostage @leah2901 @blogbog710 @supraveng @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @late-to-the-party-81 @rogersbarber @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @jamneuromain
#dirty asks#ask game#sun salt and shield series#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers fic#steve rogers smut#steve rogers fanfic#tw monsterfucking#deep sea mermaid#mermaid!reader#mermaid au#captain america fanfiction#captain america x reader#captain america x you#fantasy au#i do not have any idea how to properly tag this HALP
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Sos mog design
#salt art#mogswamp#mogswamp fanart#sos mog#sos smp#sossmp#sos hardcore smp#mcytblr#mcyt fanart#what do i tag wtf
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