#some of these are also just based on specific scenes in the show

[omgitskaii]

love that y’all liked the hc’s so i’ll bring some more to the table:

sam sometimes ask castiel to check if his soul is intact; no matter how many times cas assures him it’s there, sam always doubts himself

cas gets phantom pain on his shoulder blades from his wings

when dean has nightmares, he often gets violent with himself or things around him; there’s occasions he’s woken up with deep scratches on his arms or his fingernails stubbed and bloody from abuse to his wall. he tries to hide them when he wakes up.

dean sometimes flinches whenever cas raises an arm to him. he tries to play it off when it happens, but cas will always notice and assure him with a gentle touch afterwards.

when dean was still hosting michael in his head, whenever he’d fall asleep, dean would unintentionally visit him in the bar. michael would taunt him through the door, so often that dean has come to believe some of the stuff he said. he doesn’t tell anyone.

there’s a pillow in the library dedicated to sam for whenever he falls asleep/passes out reading lore books or cataloging

dean will get someone else to hand him painkillers, saying he’s too lazy to get them himself. but it’s really because he doesn’t trust himself.

cas will intentionally seem “dense” just to make dean laugh and does it mostly to fuck with sam.

sam and dean will play mystery puzzle games together to try to do “normal things,” but both of them will just apply hunters lore to it, which makes the game 10x more complicated, and then both give up.

it’s a habit he picked up when he was a kid hunting with john, but dean will still try to hide his injuries no matter how bad they are. it’s gotten him into trouble on multiple occasions.

sam bites his nails when he’s nervous or stressed out.

sam keeps an old jacket that dean gave him once when he was a kid that was way too big for him, even in his teens. it was a ratty thing from the thrift store and dean picked it out for him because he was too cold in the motel their dad set them up in. sam still wears it sometimes. it finally fits now that he’s older.

dean is soft on jack and claire because he sees himself in them, but deep down it’s also to reconcile how he first failed ben. he thinks of him sometimes, and on one occasion has sent him an anonymous birthday card. he believes he’s not father material and wasn’t made for it, no matter how badly he wants it.

dean has turned tricks in order to fend for him and sam when he was young. he’s never told sam.

cas makes rounds in the bunker to make sure both brothers are safely asleep

sam hates needles

dean has spent a lot of his time alone studying spell books to find some way to safely see cas’ true form, or some extension of it. later on, when he finds a way to make it possible, assures rowena with a quick text that he knows what fifth base is now.

sam and cas make an effort to hang out one on one. they go out for coffees sometimes when dean is off on a solo hunt, trade notes on different pieces of history and lore, or they’ll watch lengthy documentaries together.

dean goes to visit bennys grave in louisiana

whenever cas is pissed off he’ll mutter things in enochian

both dean and rowena actually do make an effort to be friends. they both just pretend to be insufferable for the sake of appearances, even though they did initially hate eachother. they’ll occasionally meet up for drinks, and rowena calls it ‘girls night’ despite deans annoyance.

cas gets pissed (and/or jealous) whenever someone touches deans shoulder

sam will sometimes jump on dean on the couch or throw shit at him when he’s relaxing in his room to piss him off, because he’s an annoying little brother. in older sibling fashion, dean will always chase him around the bunker at least once when he gets fed up before inevitably giving up to grab a drink or when cas yells at them for being idiots

dean lets jack, claire, and cas put on their own music in the impala. sam is furious about it when he finds out, but also secretly happy for him knowing how personal that actually is for his brother.

they used to do this when they were little, but sam and dean will still share clothes sometimes, even though they are sometimes too big/small. dean will lend cas his clothes too. it’s more of a comfort thing.

dean buys fidget toys for sam. sam has a collection of fidget spinners in almost every room in the bunker and multiple laying around in the impala for when they have to do stakeouts.

selectively mute dean. there are times where dean will go a few days without talking, usually due to rough nightmares or hunts gone wrong. he’s tired of taking his anger out on people, so he keeps to himself.

cas has robotically perfect handwriting, even when he needs to write something down quickly

dean likes to sing when he’s alone and he’s very good at it, but will purposefully sing off key when anyone comes in. he’ll usually sing whenever he’s cooking or working on baby, using his tools or utensils as a microphone.

[softichill]

Attempted to throw together a bingo card for the first part of the finale? I'm not super great at these fjsbgksng

[mimzaucracks]

Superquest doodles

I'm an ardent the-other-three-1987-turtles-would-just-laugh-at-Raphael-and-his-misfortunes-in-the-episode truther, which resulted in possibly one of my most fun and favourite doodle dumps.

These drawings are specifically how I imagine the 1987 turtles would've/could've been in that episode.

[reality-shitting]

General realizations ab shifting that helped me

The void is not a realm or a place- it is YOU. You ARE the Void. The Void is solely the awareness of being, fully.

You are not ONE being. Think of the consciousness in you as being interconnected with all other infinite versions of you. These interconnections converge into your full consciousness, the true YOU. It's almost Eldritch to think about.

Something I'm just now thinking of, perhaps this means the subconscious is all other versions of you- you're separated and cut off from experiencing the entirety of being, but that entirety is still there, guiding you from behind the scenes.

No matter what the assumption, "I am" is true. I am kind, as my actions and thoughts show, but I'm also cruel and cold-hearted, as may be the perception of another. I think I'm funny, but someone else may think I'm cheesy- therefore, I am both. And this also goes for the personas of myself in other realities. I am everything. Simultaneously, this also means I am Nothing. I simply am.

To add to the points above, I believe this "Eldritch" conglomerate is what we call the Void state, and would explain why every manifestation happens instantly once we reach this state. Think of it like accessing the files in an infinite data base- all you need to do is find the files you're looking for and download them.

As much as people will try to stress things like "you need to let go" or realizing that shifting is easy, you won't truly be able to understand what they're saying until you experience it.

All things exist at once and every inconceivably small action creates a new reality. As small as "this single cell from 7000 years ago died .000000001 seconds prematurely", and smaller.

Shifting IS easy- in the same way that gleeking or stretching is easy. Some people are able to do it on command or go further than others with no training whatsoever. Others may do it accidentally and sporadically. This does not mean the latter are unable to do these things at will, but they simply need a bit of help learning to do it on command.

Question stressing you out? "But what about this plot hole?", "How does XYZ work??", "What will happen back in my OR???"- STOP. No need to stress yourself over that, this by itself I feel cost me years on my journey. Everything will work out. It doesn't matter how, but it will, and it will either even itself out or be in your favor. Don't even think about those things. Relax.

Another one that held me back MASSIVELY. Struggling to visualize your DR? "I know it has THIS SPECIFIC TABLE in this SPECIFIC place and everything has to be perfect"! No. Your visualization does Not need to be perfect. Nor does it have to be "accurate", really. Once you just let your mind wander and let your subconscious make up it's own layout, it'll help you slip in much more easily. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure I was visualizing my specific reality, and it became so much easier when I just trusted myself to build it up from my subconscious instead of "forcing" a look

They say once it's in the 4D (imagination), it's already real. That's why you're encouraged to embody, think, act, feel as your DR self. Like playing pretend as a kid, you'll be so focused on your imagination, you don't even realize you're in your OR. If you don't shift through that alone, it certainly helps make you feel far more connected. This is also why I came up with the Furina method (although I suppose it's debatable if I really "came up" with it)

Methods/Advice are like pants. Some are too itchy, some are too tight, some you like the feel of but there's just some small flaw. When you find what you were missing, what you needed to hear, it'll be a perfect fit.

[youryurigoddess]

So one thing led to another, and I’ve just paid a visit to the first (that we know of) confirmed Good Omens S3 filming locations. Due to the obvious sensitivity of this material, please tag it accordingly and share only with the fans consenting to know potential spoilers.

A fellow Good Omens fan has mentioned that residents of a certain Edinburgh area had unexpected guests recently, knocking on their door and telling them they are filming in their street soon. Imagine their surprise when a polite question about the details led to the offhand answer: “IT'S ONLY GOOD OMENS”.

For those unaware, the City of Edinburgh Council has been working really hard on promoting the city for film and TV industry for a few years now (the effects of which we saw in S2), and has a set of very clear and very publicly available guidelines regarding the modus operandi here.

The Good Omens production has both large scale and a high impact on a specific location due to the crew size, amount of technology used, and requirement for crowd control in most of the exterior and interior scenes (e.g., bookshop, pub, or coffee shop windows), which is why not only the local authorities, but also residents were informed about the filming with an at least 8 days notice:

Ironically, I just had happened to have a trip here planned and a hotel booked within walking distance to the locations on the attached TM and parking plan map, so it would be a waste not to use this opportunity for the greater good of the fandom. Can’t stay long enough to see the actual crew, so unfortunately the hair photos will have to be made by someone else. Disappointing, I know. But there’s still a lot to be excited about!

According to the provided notice, the filming will happen within one working day with the required set-up planned for the day before, mostly in the afternoon hours. The attached map shows planned parking suspension and SYL dispensation on two streets close to the chosen locations, which is where the trailers and equipment vehicles will park:

Location One turns out to be, rather surprisingly, a cosy corner bookshop. The shop — one of the Edinburgh’s oldest surviving secondhand bookstores — is very small, but crammed with a wide ranging library of beautiful books to serve readers and collectors, including antiquarian true first editions and signed copies.

It’s giving Muriel’s sweet and whimsical charm, but the bits and pieces of the unpublished Good Omens sequel point out not towards Whickber Street, where the angel currently resides, but more towards a new in-universe location. Maybe one that will be opened in the future post-Second Coming, maybe one that will remind one of the characters about a home base of operations back in the heart of London’s Soho (and theirs— wait, who said that?).

Notice that the road closure includes north and south sides of the pavement visible in the last photo, so both indoor and outdoor shots could be expected:

Location Two seems a bit more complex, since it’s basically a skewed triangle consisting of one longer street and a short side street diverging from it. Conveniently for the filmmakers, the architecture here is uncharacteristic enough that it could be easily presented as British, Scottish, or even American. I’m personally a bit partial to the last option since it would make sense story- and budget-wise, especially now with the two people previously adamant on shooting the US scenes only on location there not on the production team anymore.

The contrasting structures and materials visible here easily offer background for multiple potential contexts and scenarios, so much in fact that it’s easy to imagine more than one scene being shot here for cost- and time-effective reasons. Some of the buildings along the cobbled road have the right look and feel for historical flashbacks, as you can see below. I find the two separate entrances next to each other particularly lovely:

A considerable part of the buildings in the area, however, belongs to a more modern complex that communicates a very different personality and function. With a bit of camera and post-production magic, it could transform to a wide range of settings — please let me know your thoughts and ideas if you have any!

Specific filming times and more detailed information are consciously not shared out of concern for the crew and cast members who clearly don’t want them to become public knowledge. Those of you who live in the area and might visit the set anyway, please don’t forget to make sure that your presence won’t bother them as well as other locals. And remember to keep any new photos and information contained with tags so that you won’t spoil it to the people who would rather wait for the movie itself!

[chrrymlks]

୨୧﹕ mustang .ᐟ part one

pairing ; au!nicholas chavez x fem!reader contains ; 80s alternate universe , slight smut ( makeout , undressing ) , enemies to lovers , getting caught. a/n ; this is based off of the aesthetic and time period of the ‘monsters’ show, but it is NOT based off of the menendez brothers. it is also based on ‘challengers’, specifically the tennis scenes. nicholas is a rich kid in the 1980s in this fic. summary ; after a competitive tennis match between y/n and nicholas, they decide to let their anger out in another way.

A TIE BREAKER is the last thing y/n needed for this match, and she could tell nicholas was furious too, swaying from side to side with his eyebrows furrowed, sweat dripping down his forehead slowly after a long game. it didn’t help that it was in the middle of a heatwave, and y/n’s legs had rubbed together so much that a chafing rash had began to form on her inner thighs. with every movement there was a burning sensation, but at this point she didn’t care — she wanted to make a point to nicholas, that she was better than him. she wanted to humble this rich boy so much, that looking at her in public would anger him.

so, pushing through the pain, y/n got into position and held the tennis ball against her racket, before looking nicholas in the eyes, unafraid of his intense gaze. and without a second thought, she threw the ball up into the air and hit it towards him.

with every grunt and hit of the ball from nicholas, y/n’s heartbeat raced. his muscles glistened in the sunlight as sweat drenched them. it was attractive, sure, but he wasn’t attractive. y/n could never imagine being attracted to him. the spoiled momma’s boy? no fucking way. it only fuelled her need to succeed, to show him who’s boss. so, as soon as she saw the chance, y/n hit the ball as hard as she could to the other side of the net, and without fail the ball bounced just before the baseline before bouncing once again out of the court.

nicholas just watched as he lost — he knew it would’ve been impossible to save himself from that.

as y/n and half of the audience cheered, nick agitatedly rubbed his temples with his left hand, trying to compose himself. this was until he shouted a loud “FUCK!” as he threw his racket on the ground.

y/n laughed at his outburst as they both walked up to the net, “is someone mad?”.

nicholas didn’t answer, putting his hand out for a short handshake. but, instead of letting go, he grabbed y/n’s hand tighter and pulled her in slightly, his eyes locked on hers. nick muttered under his breath, loud enough for only her to hear, “you’re fucking dead to me”, before pushing her hand away and walking off.

y/n furrowed her eyebrows. for some reason she felt hurt? it’s not that she liked him, or wanted him to like her. but that was just… mean.

after packing her things and thanking people for congratulating her, y/n began to leave the small stadium with her tennis bag slung over her shoulder. she walked into the parking lot, making her way towards her car and shoving her bag into the trunk before spotting another car — and she knew exactly who’s it was. the red 1965 ford mustang parked next to the lamppost, two rows from her car was obviously nicholas’.

y/n furrowed her eyebrows. wondering why he was still here, she decided to walk towards the car.

it seemed like nicholas didn’t realise she was walking up to his driver’s side window since he was looking down, eyes closed as he rubbed his temples in annoyance. the girl stood there for a while, pondering on how to get his attention before clearing her throat.

nicholas flinched before looking up at the girl who just beat him, her face in an awkward expression, “so..”

“no” he cut her off immediately, “fuck off”

y/n was taken aback by his rude remark before responding, “okay, no. stop acting like a fucking child”

“being annoyed about losing is acting like a child?” nick scoffed, opening his car door.

the girl moved to the side so he could get out, her arms folding as she leaned against the expensive car, “yeah, it is”

after he got out of the car, he crossed his arms, mimicking her. she had to look up to him now, as he towered over her with an annoyed smirk on his face, “it’s not my fault you’re a bitch”

“it’s not my fault you’re a sore loser” she retaliates, causing him to take a few small steps closer to her. y/n had to look even further up at him, actually seeing his face now as he blocked the sun with his head. the smell of his cologne mixed with sweat filled her lungs, which was strangely attractive to her.

nicholas spoke in a much softer, yet condescending tone than before, “sore loser, huh?”

“sore.” y/n got in his face, “loser.”

the two sat in the tension for a minute, just inches away from each other’s faces. nicholas inhaled her exhale, and she did the same with him. their eyebrows remained furrowed as they looked into each other’s eyes, filled with hate. you couldn’t tell if he was about to punch her, or kiss her.

that was until the tension broke as they both rushed to smack their lips together in a sloppy yet passionate kiss. nicholas wrapped his arms around y/n’s waist, roughly grasping her, as she moved her hands to his neck — one hand ran through his hair as the other dug her nails into his neck, causing him to let out a grunt, kissing her even rougher.

nicholas removed one of his hands from her body, reaching behind her for the door handle and opening the car door. they both swiftly got into the backseat of the car and slammed the door shut behind them, never breaking the kiss.

he then started placing sloppy kisses along her cheek and down her neck, letting y/n catch her breath as she reached for his biceps. she grabbed his muscles, getting flashbacks from when she observed them on the court.

abruptly, nick moved his hands from her waist to her thighs and pulled her in closer, placing himself in between her legs, causing y/n to let out a gasp. nicholas looked up at her, giving a playful smile which she returned before sharing another rough passionate kiss.

as he moved his hand up her tennis skirt, he lightly grazed his fingertips along her upper thighs. y/n’s body shivered at his touch before a sudden, loud knock on the window interrupted them both.

ah shit.

part i | part ii

[moonysbookshelves]

The Cadence of Part-Time Poets

The Cadence of Part-Time Poets by @motswolo

Have been working on this 10 volume set for the past few months now, and they are finally complete. My Magnum Opus. I have peaked and probably depleted all of my brain power.

Thank you to @motswolo for writing such a beautiful story. My brain chemistry has been favourably altered. Will forever flinch when I hear Queen, The Beatles or Bob Dylan. Love to you from western Canada (west coast best coast lets gooooo).

I also posted a TikTok of these since posts here are limited and I love the insides as much as the covers, so if you wanna see between the pages, here’s that.

Also thank you @avisbindery for letting me scream and cry in your DMs while I read the fic. May you get some uninterrupted sleep now LOLLL.

Going to write a whole essay below about the ideas and details because uhhh I wanna yap bit!

So for starters, I wanted to make these binds look like magazines because of the epilogue where (spoiler) Tonya sees Remus in a copy of New Musical Express. But of course this fic is long, so I was like, what if I do multiple volumes? This very quickly spiralled into me painstakingly (finding publication-accurate fonts almost sent me to an early grave) recreating 10 different music-focused magazines from the 70s and 80s from scratch (thank you to Photoshop, Affinity, Procreate and Canva). Each volume features a unique cover, along with stylized typesets to match that display the songs for each chapter but in different designs. And then I went a little crazy and made a 45 sleeve and a cassette too, to really set the scene when I took the photos lol

While the covers display the dates pertaining to the contents of that particular volume (Sept 1975 for volume one, for example) I was thinking about what the magazines would say if they were really published when Marauders are traipsing about being spectacular and famous in the future. I sprinkled in details from the fic itself and fanon-ed it a bit, but that was the general inspiration :-) Tried to keep the photos used either faceless/obscured, or to use the fancasts on Mots’ Cadence master post. I also tried to use period-accurate photos but didn’t always succeed, so settled for photos of 4 member bands where I had to :”) But the general intent with the facelessness was that they could be implied to be Marauders. If you squint? lol. Just pretend. Pls.

Volume One: Based upon The Record Song Book. This magazine went on to inspire the typesets, since it publishes lyrics and such. The cover images are of Spacey Jane and David Thewlis.

Volume Two: Based on ZigZag, specifically the issue from July 1978 featuring Siouxie and the Banshees just because I thought it looked sick as fuck. I re-drew the abstract shapes and such in procreate. The cover images are The Clash and a young Gary Oldman. Lord he was foiiine.

Volume Three: Based on Trouser Press, November 1980. The cover images are a young Metallica, and my personal fav fan cast for James, Reiky De Valk. The film negatives are from a Bruce Springsteen tour, 1976.

Volume Four: Based on Gay Times (November 1984), a queer magazine from the UK because this volume contains Wolfstars first kiss hehe. Also hence Somebody To Love plastered all over the covers. The Front cover is Inhaler. The “4A” on this one is of course the boys’ dorm number, but I made the A the lambda symbol as this was a pride symbol in the 70s after Stonewall.

Volume Five: Based on Melody Maker. Front image is Alex Turner. All of the text on this one is pulled directly from the fic. The scene where they all drop acid and James jumps off the roof Almost Famous style had me hootin’ and hollerin’… until Tomny showed up hahaha :”)

Volume Six: Based on IT (International Times, Aug 1971). Front image for this one is Joy Division, and the back features Jane Asher for Lily

Volume Seven: Based on Record Mirror, June 1976. Front image is John Taylor of Duran Duran. Yum.

Volume Eight: Based on Rolling Stone. More vibes than anything for this one, but the quote still makes me laugh.  Front image is of Matt Hitt. Can you tell I photoshopped a cell phone out of this one? IDK. This photo just screamed ‘Remus’ to me so I had to use it. The back image is an old cigarette ad, but the photo is taken in Shepherd’s Bush.

Volume Nine: Based on Fusion magazine. Front image for this one is once again Inhaler. Oops. Back cover is our gals. Images are Jodie Foster as Cherry, Brenda Sykes as Mary, and Goldie Hawn as Lottie.

Volume Ten: Based on New Musical Express. You know why :”) These are all victims of fanon, but this one especially. I wanted it to be NME instead of the re-invented logos I’d been doing for all the rest, as I wanted it to look like the magazine the Sister gives to Tonya. I referred to an issue of NME from October 1979 for this and layered in fic references where it made sense to. The cover image for this one is (I think) Cigarettes After Sex. This issue also contains all of the B-Side chapters, and the Marauders song lyrics too just for fun :)

Slasher Chick: This is just my take on what Sybill’s zine could’ve looked like. Prob way off but I just wanted to have fun with this one since I had no cover to reference lol. The zine contains her little write-up and the interview, lifted straight from the fic :")

ok yap sesh over byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lmfaooooo

[yzzart]

౨ৎ⊹. BOYFRIEND!KENJI HEADCANONS! ── PART TWO.

── content warnings: F!reader, mention of emiko, mina, emi and professor sato, Kenji and you being Emi's parents, ultraman form and first part here!

── word count: 683!

⭑.ᐟ Becoming a warm routine, you and Kenji watched his old matches together, which were recorded by his mother, and it was, devoutly, impossible not to be moved by little Kenji in the presence of his teammates and Emiko's screams of celebration; who offered support and support for his son.

⤷ So, whenever you noticed the momentary change in his posture, caused by the commotion and emotion that was moving in his chest, leaving him vulnerable, you would rest your head on his shoulder and wrap one of your hands around his arm, signaling that you would always be there. supporting, loving and respecting him.

⭑.ᐟ Kenji, at every moment, in fact, always looked at your lips while you spoke, explained or even hummed something; it was automatic, he didn't know how to control it or moderate himself about it. — And he didn't even hide it, casually, he had given up trying to hide the action. — Well, it's not his fault if your mouth is so irresistible.

⤷ Yes, every time you opened your mouth, telling him how your day was or scolding him for getting hurt during a battle, there were Sato's eyes traveling over your lips.

"Emi's reflexes are improving, and Mina will examine her once more." — You said, correcting your posture on the sofa to admire the baby, who was playing with Mina, and finding it adorable. — "Oh! And she's learning another dance, you've got to see it." — Turning your head towards Kenji, you find his eyes, completely, immobilized on one part of your face, specifically, on the region of your lips. — "Ken? Can you hear me?" — No answer. — "Kenji?"

⭑.ᐟ During the beginning of your relationship, Kenji occasionally referred to you as his wife; he simply loved calling you that. — Because he felt, in his heart, that, in the future, it would be true and, in fact, official; he believed it. — Soon, it had become something so natural and special, also, very deep.

⤷ There were times, and some press conferences and magazine articles, when Sato mentioned you as his wife and didn't worry about questions from journalists. — Mainly, in his interview with Ami, when asked who he attributed his important change to.

"I wouldn't be here without my family, simple as that." — He explained, with an air of confidence and determination, focusing on his words. — "My dad, mom, wife…"

⭑.ᐟ Furthermore, Kenji refers to you as the mother — temporary, or also the second mother — of Emi; and Mina reinforced the insinuation, showing photos and videos of you to the baby, just like she did with Ken's. —Usually, when she didn't obey his orders or refused to learn something new, like a child, Kenji would declare that you wouldn't like to know about her stubbornness.

"Listen here, young lady!" — In the form of Ultraman, lurking and trying to reach the baby lizard, which was running and having fun around the base, Kenji didn't like the current situation. — "If your mother knows you don't want to take a shower, she won't be happy with you. — The robotic voice exclaimed from the place. — "And not even with me."

⭑.ᐟ You know that scene where he, in his Ultraman form, is sleeping with Emi and his father? This keeps happening between you! — Due to tiredness, exhaustion from the care you are taking with her, you and Kenji fall asleep with the big baby. — With Ken around, holding and protecting you from everything.

⭑.ᐟ When he woke up, with his clothes wrinkled and his hair completely messy and unruly, accompanied by the mug "I hate mornings", Sato found you and Mina watching Emi, who was sleeping peacefully. — After hours of singing an old and graceful lullaby, your voice had captivated the child. — He was still dazzled, but not surprised, by this situation.

"So, she fell for your charms?" — His morning voice, so hoarse and pleasant, compromising with good humor, even if a little exhausted. — "Huh?" — Arriving from behind, he rested his head on your shoulder, fitting in, as usual.

"Oh, yeah." — You answered, with conviction and grace, moving your hands to his messy hair, stroking it.— "Just like you one day fell!"

[jayniks]

SEX NOTE (s.jy)

Your friend is jealous that, thanks to the book that HE gave you, you no longer pay attention to him, so he writes to you in that notebook in a fit of jealousy.

WC . 4,0k

PAIRING . childhoodfriend!jake x afab!reader

WARNINGS . smut (mdni), jealousy, Jay showing up, rudeness, Jay bothering you at first, awkwardness, Jake butting into your room.

SMUT WARNINGS . oral sex (f receiving), lots of kisses, assjob(idk if it's called that), manhandling, spanking, voyeurism (kinda), creampie.

< go back . next chapter >

Maybe it was a mistake coming home early, after all, no one wants to watch their childhood friend get fucked, specifically not jerk off to it either. Well, Jake is a nobody. He froze as he watched you get fucked from behind, though you two seemed pretty busy since you didn’t see or hear him come in. Jake would be lying if he said he didn’t just keep watching and spy on you.

The tent in his pants grew with every second he spent looking at you. Yeah, maybe you weren't moaning HIS name but something similar, so his imagination did the rest thinking you were saying it. He brought his hand inside his pants to 'caress' himself, thus releasing some tension that was coming from there. His palm ran up and down, applying pressure in certain places, feeling bigger with each squeeze. God, what a pervert.

Jake's heart raced as he unzipped his pants, the soft fabric rustling against his fingers, stirring up his lust, but also his guilt. He couldn't help but feel guilty for spying on and nearly pleasuring himself with his childhood friend and roommate. "This is wrong," he thought, "but damn it feels so good."

He leaned back on the doorknob just enough to peek out and see the scene I described in my previous post (lol, self-promotion??? Yeah) while he unzipped his pants quietly enough to not be heard, although I don't think anyone was going to hear him with how loud your moans were.

Well, I won't digress any further, Jake guided his thumb and index finger delicately from the base to the tip to wrap them around where it started. He proceeded to wrap the rest of his hand around what was left of the shaft to begin his downward and upward movements on his member, almost in rhythm with Jay's thrusts. His imagination was in charge of making his movements resemble those of your partner to fantasize that it was HIM who was fucking you.

Jake's breathing came in ragged gasps with each rhythmic stroke, matching the erotic sounds from the next room. His mind raced, imagining every position his friend was in would be him doing it, fueling the fire of desire burning within him. "I'm being selfish," he thought, guilt eating away at him as he continued to pleasure himself, though the guilt wasn't enough to keep his hand away from his cock. With each movement Jake felt himself getting closer to his release, he could feel the tension in his balls, a sensation that spread throughout his groin like wildfire. With a sharp inhale and biting down on his fist, a hot stream erupted from the tip of his twitching member. His body shuddered, feeling weak and spent as he finally calmed down.

After that, Jake's chest heaved as he caught his breath. He felt a mix of relief and embarrassment, his gaze fixed on the door to the next room. 'Holy shit's' echoed in his mind, his hand still wrapped around his exhausted member. I think the post-nut clarity hit him hard enough that he ran out grabbing things off the floor and leaving the apartment.

Shitty book, this was all his fault. Well, technically it was his fault, he had given the book to his friend after finding it on the floor, he could have kept it himself and been the one to stick it up to whoever crossed his mind, but he preferred to give it to his best friend... oh, that sounds like jealousy. Although Jake obviously wasn't jealous, no no. If he was jealous, would he have a problem with using the notebook he found himself? Perhaps—

Ding!

This gave him an idea, it was like for the first time in a long time he was thinking with his cock and his brain at the same time. He went back to his shared apartment and sat on the couch waiting for his friend in silence, after all, it was his right as the 'owner' of the notebook.

It didn't take you long to go downstairs to get a glass of water, although of course, it took you a while to get down the stairs without staggering. When you turned around you saw Jake sitting on the couch with a playful look on his face, you were about to ask why he was there when he spoke first — "I bought the wrong ticket, at the end it was for next week, although I arrived a little tired, what about you?", smiling with a mischief unknown to you. You couldn't help but frown at his answer. Something in his tone made you hesitate, but your body was too sore to think clearly. The throbbing pain in your gut and the small temblors in your legs made anything, even a conversation with Jake, seem like a monumental task.

“Are you sure it was a mistake?” you asked hoarsely, surprising yourself with how you said it, so you brought a hand to your forehead to pretend your state was due to something more. He shrugged, smiling with the same carefree expression as always while fiddling with the hem of his jacket. “Well, let’s just say I wanted to spend some time with you too. Is that wrong?”

It took a few seconds for your mind to process his words. Something in his tone, in his smile, made you feel a pang of unease, but the pain in your muscles clouded any attempt at analysis. — "Jake, I'm not in the mood for jokes. I feel horrible, I feel like I'm overwhelmed." He let out a small laugh and stood up from the chair with an almost rehearsed movement. — "You know what would help you? Going out for some fresh air. A short walk. I swear it feels like magic for your overwhelm."

You leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, eyes narrowed. “I don’t even have the strength to go down the stairs, much less go outside.” Jake approached with slow, almost calculated steps. He placed a hand on your shoulder, and although the gesture seemed friendly, there was something in his gaze that you couldn’t decipher. “Trust me, okay? Just a few minutes outside, and I promise that when you come back you’ll feel better. Besides, I can prepare something in the meantime.”

The convincing tone in his voice, mixed with your exhaustion, made you let your guard down a bit. Maybe you did need some fresh air, or at least a few minutes away from the world you had created in your room. With a heavy sigh and no energy left to argue, you accepted his proposal. Jake helped you put on a light jacket, making sure to arrange it carefully on your shoulders.

— "Just a few minutes," you promised, as you slipped on your shoes, swaying slightly. He held your arm with unexpected gentleness, smiling a smile that seemed sincere. — "Exactly, don't strain yourself too much. I'll be here waiting when you get back." You saw him open the door with an almost theatrical gesture, bowing slightly as if you were a queen crossing a threshold. Despite the pain in and out your body, you let out a soft laugh. Jake stood in the doorway, watching you disappear down the street with a relaxed expression... until you were far enough away.

He closed the door with a soft click, and all the kindness on his face vanished. His eyes took on a calculating gleam, and his lips curved into a half-smile. Wasting no time, he ran for the stairs, taking them two steps at a time until he reached your room. When he opened the door, he was met with the chaos you’d expect after fucking. The bed was unmade, with the sheets hanging almost to the floor, as if someone had fought a battle, only instead of blood it was other fluids. A nightstand was cluttered with napkins, string, and candy wrappers. The desk on the other side was just as chaotic: a crumpled pile of papers, a carelessly closed laptop, and a couple of uncapped pens rolling off the edge.

On the shelf, between books and small stuffed animals, there were albums and boxes that looked like they had been put up in a hurry. Some posters of your favorite singers adorned the walls, slightly crooked, as if they had been put up a long time ago and no one had bothered to adjust them. On the floor, clothes lay in piles; some items still looked clean, but others clearly needed to be torn off in a hurry. Oh freaky you.

Jake moved quickly, checking every corner. He started with the desk, picking up papers and moving the laptop carefully. Nothing. He frowned and moved to the nightstand, opening drawers and rummaging impatiently. Nope, also nothing. Finally, his eyes landed on the bed. “Sure, the usual one,” he muttered to himself, pulling back the sheets and searching through the folds. It took him a few minutes, but he finally found what he was looking for: the black notebook. The Sex Note. He held it in his hands, looking at it like it was a newly won trophy. His fingers slid across the cover, caressing the letters etched into it.

— “So here it was…” — he sighed, letting a grim smile cross his face. His eyes shone with a mix of triumph and darkness. The kind expression he had shown you before vanished completely, replaced by something much more sinister. He opened the notebook slowly, flipping through the first few pages as a barely contained laugh escaped his throat. His mind was already beginning to make plans, he coul keep the notebook permanently- IS THAT THE NAME OF HIS FAVOURITE SINGER? — "Damn, Heeseung? I guess you really wanted your 'y/n' moment," he whispered to himself, closing the notebook with a thud and staring at the door, as if he could see you there, vulnerable and defenseless. He knew that tonight would be the start of something much bigger... probably.

You returned home after a long walk, feeling much better. The fresh air had cleared your mind and soothed your headache, though you still felt slightly dizzy. As you opened the door, the warm aroma of food enveloped you like a comforting welcome. Jake was in the kitchen, stirring something in a pan. Hearing you enter, he looked up and gave you a smile that seemed too perfect, almost as if he had been rehearsing it. — "You’re just in time. I thought some hot food would do you good.” You blinked, surprised by the gesture. “You cooking? Since when are you so considerate?”

He chuckled softly, serving the contents of the pan onto two plates. “Don’t get used to it. I’m just being a good friend.” You sat down at the table as he placed a plate of rice and stir-fried chicken in front of you, accompanied by hot tea. Even though you didn’t have much of an appetite, you decided to eat, silently thanking him for the effort he had made.

Silence filled the room, interrupted only by the sound of silverware and the news on the television. A female voice said in a serious tone, “Singer Lee Heeseung, known for his outstanding career, has reported feeling unwell over the past few days. Close sources say the artist also mentioned experiencing a strange episode of memory loss, stating, “It’s like I forgot an entire day.”

Your fingers paused on your fork, and you felt a strange pang of nervousness in your chest. You looked at the screen, but it didn’t show any more details. The news quickly changed to another topic, but you couldn’t get that information out of your head. Jake, on the other hand, continued eating calmly. Well, at least until you heard him laugh. It was a low, almost restrained sound, as if he was trying not to let it out completely. You looked up at him, frowning. “What are you laughing at?” you asked, puzzled.

He lowered his fork, still covering his mouth as if to hold back his laughter, though he couldn't quite hide the malice in his expression. — "Nothing, nothing..." —he answered at first, but his tone only made you feel more uneasy. You set the fork down on the table with a soft thud, looking directly at him. Finally, he looked up at you, and though his smile was still on his face, his eyes had a gleam that you couldn't interpret.

— "You'll understand in a few hours." His answer left you silent. A feeling of unease ran through you like a chill, but Jake simply resumed his food, as if he hadn't just said something that left you with more questions than answers.

The awkwardness lingered as they finished eating in silence. Jake, acting surprisingly helpful, stood up first and began clearing away the plates. “Leave it, I’ll wash them,” he said with a carefree smile, taking everything over to the sink. You hesitated for a moment, but eventually relented. “Okay, thanks…” you mumbled, still distracted by what had just happened at the table.

Taking advantage of the fact that he was busy, you decided to quickly go up to your room. Your head was still reeling from the feeling that something wasn't right. When you opened the door, a shock ran through you from head to toe: the mess was even worse than when you had left it. Clothes that had previously been piled up in a corner were now thrown all over the floor; the papers on your desk were more jumbled than ever, some had even fallen to the floor; and the sheets on your bed were wrinkled in a way you didn't remember leaving them.

Someone had been there.

Your heart began to pound as your eyes darted around the room. That’s when you remembered: the notebook. You ran to the bed, frantically searching through the sheets and pillows. Then you moved to the desk, throwing papers to the floor in search of the one item that couldn’t be missing. Panic grew with every corner you searched without success. When you stopped, out of breath, your gaze drifted to the wall next to your desk. There, stuck in a disturbing order, were two post-its. You frowned as you moved closer to read them.

The first one said in large, clear letters:

"You're fucked."

The second, just below, added:

"Literally."

You froze for a moment. Those had Jay’s signature on them. No like, he had literally put his signature in the corner of the 2nd note. You shook your head, trying to calm yourself, and reached out to rip the post-its off the wall, but a sound behind you stopped you. “Did you find what you were looking for?” Jake’s voice, soft and controlled, echoed from the doorway. You turned immediately, feeling the air grow thicker. Jake was there, leaning against the door frame with an expression that was a mix of amusement and something darker. In his hands, he held the black notebook.

Your heart skipped a beat. “Is this what you were so worried about?” he asked calmly, lifting the notebook just a little for emphasis. His smile was unsettling, almost mocking, and his eyes seemed to watch you with an intensity that made you feel naked. You didn’t know what to answer. You just stood there, paralyzed, as Jake slowly entered the room, closing the door behind him.

Jake tossed the notebook towards you in a casual motion, as if it were any ordinary notebook. The black object landed on the mattress right in front of you, and though you wanted to remain calm, your hands shook slightly as you reached for it. “Read it,” he ordered, his tone firm, but with a hint of mischievous amusement. You frowned, your gaze alternating between him and the notebook. Reluctantly, you opened it, your eyes scanning the words written in impeccably neat handwriting:

"Exactly at 21:28, (____) will be in her room, nervous about hearing news about heeseung, and then start feeling inexplicably hot".

You paused, feeling your face begin to heat up. You forced yourself to look at Jake, who now had a grin so wide that his eyes seemed to sparkle with pure mischief.

— "What does this mean?" you asked, your voice coming out more breathy than you would have liked. Jake shrugged, taking a couple of steps towards you as he shoved his hands into his pockets. — "It means exactly what you read," he replied matter-of-factly. "You just have to wait, right?" His tone was light, but there was something in his expression that made you feel like you were being part of a game whose true terms you didn't know.

Just like how it was described, your body temperature began to rise, especially in the middle of your thighs. You tried to cover it up by sitting up on the bed, but your best friend sat down next to you. He leaned in just slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the weight of his gaze, as if he was stripping away every thought you were trying to hide. “Are you going to keep pretending you don’t know what’s going on?” he murmured, his voice deep and almost hypnotic. The distance between you both seemed to shrink with every word, and even though you wanted to move, something kept you anchored in place.

“W-what are you doing?” you asked in a whisper, air escaping your lips as your eyes locked with his. “Using the notebook I found, what else?” he replied with an eerie calm, his words accompanied by a smile that seemed to hold more secrets than you were prepared to hear. His hand slid gently down your cheek, and though you wanted to pull away, you found yourself unable to move, trapped by the intensity of his gaze. Your breathing became ragged, and before you could even process what you were doing, your fingers closed around his, guiding him in a movement that lit a dangerous spark in his eyes.

The change in his expression was almost imperceptible, but when his lips found yours, they did so with a softness that took you by surprise. The kiss was slow, almost reverent, but every movement of his mouth against yours carried an unspoken promise, one that you felt in every fiber of your being.

A soft sigh escaped you as his hands found your waist, laying you down with a gentleness that contrasted with the intensity you felt growing in the air. When his lips left yours, a momentary chill took over you, but it was replaced by the heat of his kisses descending down your neck, each one leaving an invisible mark that seemed to burn into your skin. The brush of his face against the fabric of your shirt made your breathing stop for an instant. Everything about him seemed calculated, but also inevitable, as if each of his movements were written in advance... oh right, he wrote them.

Even though his kisses felt like heaven and you loved feeling like a delicate doll, there was a part of you that was calling out to him, that was crying out for him. You leaned on his shoulders and applied a little pressure to get him to move down, eliciting a playful giggle from him, granting your request. He kissed the band of your panties before pulling them back with his mouth, a gesture that made you giggle softly and then caress his cheek, a laugh that turned into a breathy sigh when his tongue came into contact with your clit. You threw your head back as his head moved closer to your core, kissing and sucking on everything he could.

You felt his gaze even though you couldn't keep your eyes open for long. Jake felt this as approval to stick two of his fingers inside you while he sucked on your clit, making you scream even louder than you already were. Your sounds and movements only made Jake smile more, who couldn't hide it, nor could he hide the sighs of satisfaction he let out every time he swallowed a bit of your essence, which made him look like a prisoner enjoying his last meal.

It didn't take you long to reach your climax with all the effort your friend was putting into it, and boy was it a powerful orgasm, because you tried to push him away complaining that "it was too much", but he buried himself further into your cunt until you couldn't take it anymore and you released, wetting his face and almost drowning him a bit in the process, despite him insisting that he didn't want to pull away.

You sigh deeply, your breathing still ragged from the intense orgasm you just had. You gently caress Jake’s cheeks, looking into his eyes with a mix of satisfaction and desire. “That didn’t seem scripted,” you whisper with a mischievous smile on your lips. Pulling him close, you kiss him passionately, savoring your own taste in his mouth. Jake kisses you back with the same intensity, pulling you closer to his body, making your tongues dance together as if they already knew each other.

His hands begin to explore your body eagerly, caressing every curve and corner. He stops especially at your ass, squeezing and massaging your buttocks with desire, he gently pinches your skin feeling the silky texture of your flesh. "You are fucking delicious" — Jake says as he breaks away from the kiss, a mischievous smile on his lips, — "I love your ass, it's perfect," he growls in a hoarse voice of desire. "I want to see it closer" — he sighs as his hands guide your body until you are forced to get on all fours for him, exposing your ass in all its splendor. "You are a goddess, (___), I could admire this ass forever" - Jake murmurs, giving you a soft spank that echoes in the room.

You smirk as you move back a little to rub your ass against his clothed erection, biting your lip when you hear his ragged breathing as his hands caress your waist. Jake wastes no time in freeing himself from his imprisonment called “clothes”, throwing his top away and kicking the pants and boxers off somewhere in the mess of your room.

He gives his member a few pumps before sliding it between your wet lips. “Are you afraid to put it in?” you say in a mocking tone accompanied by a giggle that is soon cut off by a thrust. God, you felt every vein on his member at the same time as the sponginess of his tip. Nothing but needy moans and the occasional babble that you didn’t even understand came out of your mouth.

"What happened?" — Jake asked, although more than a question it was a mockery, — "come on, mock me again" he almost spat as he gave slow but deep thrusts. "Is that what you want Jakey? For me to m-mock you?" — You laughed softly, answering him with what little of your mind you had left just to tease him. You began to move your hips a little to feel more friction, which was a serious mistake since it made Jake hit the exact angle that made you scream and left your legs shaking. "There? You like it there? Shit, you're squeezing me so good, you're doing it so well" — he pants as he tries to keep the rhythm that allows him to hit your spot. What a gentleman.

You tried to tell him you were close but all you could do was mumble 'i'm's, though Jake understood, lowering one of his hands from your hip to your clit where he drew slow circles on it, a complete contrast to the thrusts he was giving you. It wasn't long before you were soaking his member with your release.

It wasn't long before your friend followed suit and spilled inside you, giving a few extra thrusts to make sure he had emptied himself.

You both stayed in that position, trying to control your breathing to calm down a bit.

The silence was broken when Jake sighed — "So, round 2?"

Taglist:

@nshmrarki @cha0thicpisces @seokseokjinkim @rikisave @strxwbloody @nyfwyeonjun @enhalusional @kgneptun @fleurixzs @simpjay @jakeswifez @lxsunshine @zvxba

Enha Taglist only:

@lilyuwon @myywonie @ratedjaeyoon

©: made by jayniks on tumblr, do not copy or adapt my works on any platform without my consent.

This chapter is dedicated to my irl friend that helped writing the smut scene

[ifwebefriends]

My thoughts during “The Sign” [SPOILERS!!!!!]

ID in ALT

More thoughts under the cut

So I think most of us can agree that this is the best episode of Bluey so far. It was so emotional and satisfying in ways that are kinda new for Bluey. It answered so many questions while giving us a few new ones. I’ve been waiting for this episode for months and it did not disappoint in any way.

This is just a Chekov’s firing squad of an episode. As in a lot of stuff that was set up in earlier episodes all pay off in this episode. I kinda understand why people love soap operas now lol. I will say that this episode was a tad overwhelming for me in the best way possible. As in I had to pause and rewind every 30 seconds or so so I could emotionally process what was happening before moving forward (but that’s a me thing). There was just so much going on and I’m happy about that.

Now onto individual thoughts about specific things:

The callback to Baby Race (“you took your first steps in that house!”) really got to me because Baby Race was the first episode of Bluey that I watched and it immediately made me fall in love with it so it just got to me.

When Chilli said “Frisky and I came up here as teenagers to…um…think,” my mind started racing immediately with “what the FUCK happened at the Lookout?” “Who hurt Frisky and/or Chilli?” And I’m just so curious about what made Chilli say that line like that but we’ll probably never know what happened.

So yeah that scene at the end when the music was playing and Bandit ripped the sign out of the ground and Chilli tackled him to the ground ABSOLUTELY CHANGED my brain chemistry y’all. I can’t articulate my feelings any more than that.

I know some people were upset that Brandy ended up getting pregnant but I thought it was great for her! I’m happy for her! And I think that even though she got what she wanted in the end doesn’t negate the feelings she had about her infertility earlier. But I think we’re all wondering who the father is and I don’t know if the show really needs to answer that.

The whole message of “we’ll see” in terms of if something is good or bad is such a mature message that I never really thought of like that so I will be taking that philosophy forward in life. Congratulations Bluey, you managed to teach a 22-year-old childless person something new and insightful about life that I don’t think I’ve learned from another show.

I want to know more about what Bob was going through and feeling and why he went to India, but again, we’ll probably never know.

I just love how the wedding photos were beautiful but imperfect. Like of course we’re not perfect and nothing will ever be perfect but it’s beautiful and worth remembering anyway.

So many little jokes and moments were so funny in a mature way (I.e. “are we allowed to do that?” And Nana thinking there was about to be a baby announcement) were just so funny and memorable.

I think some people would say it’s a cop-out to end up not selling the house after building it up for 2 episodes but I don’t know, I think it works. I think Bluey and Bingo learned a valuable lesson and Bandit (and Chilli kinda) learned it’s not always about making their kids lives “perfect” in their eyes. Also I’m just personally glad they didn’t end up selling the house and I also kinda like that it wasn’t entirely their choice to keep it.

On a more serious note I think this episode has some interesting commentary on like gender roles and gender relations in straight relationships. In this episode Chilli and Frisky (both women) have to deal with their male significant others pressuring them to move with them far away from what they know and love. In the end they don’t end up moving and the men didn’t seem to have like malicious or selfish intent with it, they were just kinda basing their choices off their jobs instead of what’s best emotionally for their loved ones. But I think it’s interesting to have this conflict where gender is kinda brought up in a way (“because your husband is making you”). It kinda plays into the traditional idea of like men are the breadwinners and the family has to move with them regardless of what they actually want. And this episode kinda like deconstructs that and says “no, it’s not always about the job or money, it’s also sometimes about connections and emotional attachment.” And I’m not saying that you should never move or whatever, but really weigh your options. I just thought that it was interesting that this episode kinda touched on that.

So yeah that’s kinda the main thoughts I had on this episode if you made it this far thank you for reading my rambles and have a good one!

[thefudge]

Advice for writing smut???

gonna do bullet-points of things i tend to live by when it comes to smut (this is just my opinion):

don't switch styles: the way you write the smut has to be consistent with the way you write the rest of the story, so if your story is more comedic or romcom-y in nature, the way you write the smut should have those stylings. i personally find it very jarring when authors decide to break the format for the smut, almost like the story has to stop for the sex intermission; if you're writing a horror story, the smut must be informed and influenced by that genre, and if you are breaking genre for the smut portion, tell us why you're suddenly switching gears (it has to be an aesthetic choice you're making on purpose). likewise, if your style in that story is more lyrical, the smut has to be somewhat lyrical too, or if your story is more cormac mccarthy-esque-cut-and-dry, the smut can't suddenly involve an effluvia of purple, sappy prose. integrating the smut in the story and treating it like any other part of the story is key to me. too often i've seen ppl switch to this anonymous pornified style when they get to the smut

which brings me to specificity. i'll talk about het sex, since that's what i tend to write most: not all men are going to be fingering or eating pussy the same way, not all dicks are big and they shouldn't be, not all women immediately get excited by fingering, not everyone moans the same way or makes the same sounds. you're writing about particular characters so it has to be particular to them. i know this is very old advice, but i think it bears repeating

there isn't an exact formula or sequence you have to follow, there aren't precise steps, you don't have to go "well, first he has to kiss down her neck, then reach the boob area, then play with the nipples, then put the nipple in his mouth, then slowly go down on her, then prepare her for entering her etc. etc. etc." this can get boring and repetitive and you start thinking of your characters as these mechanical dolls who have to fuck for your audience. and that can be a vibe too, if you do it on purpose. but sometimes you can get stuck in a porn routine (and ofc, having only the guy show initiative can also get boring)

in order to break that, insert some character moments. what are the characters thinking during this? sometimes they might be thinking of something completely unrelated on the surface, but which has a thematic relevance that can make the scene hotter. likewise, maybe they're doing smth that seems unsexy on the surface, but which, within the context of the story might be really hot. sex doesn't just involve, well, sex, but so much weirdness and humanity and creativity. two bodies (usually) are trying to do this really awkward thing together and they might have a lot of baggage and history to inform it. there's a lot you can do with that.

don't make it glossy and clean, where everyone smells of strawberry shampoo and there is never anything out of sync. the most boring smut tends to be the kind where no one makes any mistakes and everything is super efficient. i imagine it feels like using an industrial pump to milk various farm animals.

and you know what? you can make that hot too. you CAN write a kind of robotic efficient smut and make it really interesting based on the context. let's say you're writing a 1984 AU fic where ppl are forced into intimacy only to procreate and their sex drive is diminished. you can play with that premise and lean into the dehumanizing industrialization of sex, but you have to mean it, aka your narratorial voice must be conscious of these factors.

if you're writing dubcon, make the dubious part present, make sure you draw out the ambivalence and ambiguity. if you're writing noncon, the character whose consent is being violated has to be transformed by this in some way. it can be forced pleasure, for instance, but not only. it has to be a journey for them too, some kind of spiritual pit, or a form of access to terrible knowledge. i know this is a personal thing, but noncon doesn't work for me if the character being noncon'd is just sort of *there*, suffering passively. i think that sort of dead passivity can be done very well too, but the narratorial voice has to persuade me.

that being said, don't be afraid of fear in consensual sex. terror and vulnerability are a part of consensual sex too, imo, and again, depending on the story and the characters, there's a lot you can explore there

i personally find it really hot when the narratorial voice starts discussing some of the ideas that the story wants to convey during the smut. so like, you can characterize person A and outline their worldview and their plans while they're ramming person B, and the thinking & fucking are thus entwined. idk, i dig that

speaking of which, smut can convey world-building details and social/philosophical ideas, not just emotions and character beats

not all smut has to end with mutual orgasm or even one-sided orgasm, it depends what you want to do or where you want to go. again, you don't have to follow a sequence. plus, it's fun (and hot) to write about frustration and failure too.

if you want to mix up the descriptions, resort to the story & characters. you'll find it's easier to describe someone fondling a boob in a new or at least interesting way if you're thinking about that particular character in that particular story, and not just Man X from planet porn (sorry to be snarky, but mainstream erotica is soooo guilty of this)

screaming & really intense reactions are cool but they have to match the characters and the situations

sometimes, it's hotter if an effect is mild or negated, if the usual outcome doesn't happen; mix up the order of events, toy with the usual reactions. it's not about being original, it's about finding out what works for your characters. writing about sex is, in a way, a performance of it, an attempt to go through the sexual motions, to find out what works and doesn't, to engage with the erotics of text (roland barthes entered the chat)

if you are bored by your own smut, that's a problem. i know we all talk about how hard we find writing smut, and IT IS hard, and sometimes it's not enjoyable, because writing itself is often not enjoyable, but even when it's painful and annoying, it gives you that little intellectual kick like "huh, i'm creating this and making these people do this, and ohh look, i can maybe put this unnamable thing into words". but if you become bored, that's a sign you have to look at the language & characters and figure out what's not working for you

last thing i'll underline: pay attention to your narratorial voice. in this ordeal, you are the seducer. not the characters. you have to seduce us with words and context. your voice matters the most. you can persuade us of anything. but you have to be confident in your weirdness and particularity. this is your bedroom (so to speak), so invite us in.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Plot Method

The Save the Cat! Beat Sheet was originally developed by Blake Snyder to help screenwriters plot movies, but it works just as well with novels.

It breaks down the 3-act structure into small, specific sections (sometimes just one scene long).

Each section pushes your story forward in its own way.

The exact word count/page count of each section depends on how long your novel is and what type of story you’re telling, but you can use the colored chart below and the percentages in the instructions as a guide. 

Context Note: This method is based on the concept of the Three Act Structure, which is an inherently Western approach to plot. It can be a useful way to tell a story, but it is by no means the only one.

ACT 1

Opening Image (0-1%)

Show a “before” snapshot of your protagonist and their world.

What is life like before the adventure begins?

It represents the struggle & tone of the story.

Set-up (1-10%)

Expand on the “before” snapshot.

Explore your protagonist’s life, including the internal flaws and external challenges they’ll have to overcome in order to change for the better by the end of the story.

Present the main character’s world as it is, and what is missing in their life.

Also introduce important supporting characters.

Theme Stated (happens during the Set-up)

What your story is about; the message, the truth.

Usually, it is spoken to the main character or in their presence, but they don’t understand the truth/lesson…not until later, when they have some personal experience and context to support it.

Thus, include a scene where a character says something that hints at what the protagonist’s big life lesson will be - how they’ll have to change and grow by the end of the story.

Catalyst (10%)

The moment where life as it is changes.

Examples: It is the telegram, the act of catching your loved-one cheating, allowing a monster onboard the ship, meeting the true love of your life, etc.

There’s no going back to the “before” world from here… What is the inciting incident that pushes the protagonist into the next phase of the story?

Debate (11-20%)

But change is scary and for a moment, or a brief number of moments, the main character doubts the journey they must take.

Show the protagonist questioning themselves and resisting the path ahead - wondering whether they have what it takes, or whether or they should just run home and hide under the bed.

“Should I just…?” “I really shouldn’t because…” “But what about…” Can I face this challenge? Do I have what it takes? Should I go at all?

It is the last chance for the hero to chicken out.

ACT 2

Break Into 2 (20%; Choosing Act Two)

The main character makes a choice and the journey begins.

We leave the “Thesis” world and enter the upside-down, opposite world of Act 2.

They make the choice to begin their adventure/transformation/journey/new thing.

Show your protagonist deciding to plunge into Act 2.

The Promise of the Premise (21-50%)

This is when the reader thinks “Ah, now we’re getting to the good stuff they hinted at on the back cover of this book!”

It’s also one of the longest sections in your book.

Show your protagonist getting used to their new world - loving it, hating it, making mistakes or doing well, meeting new people (see more below) and keeping the reader entertained.

This is when the main character explores the new world and the audience is entertained by the premise they have been promised.

B Story (happens during The Promise of the Premise)

This is when there’s a discussion about the Theme – the nugget of truth.

Usually, this discussion is between the main character and the love interest.

So, the B Story is usually called the “love story”.

Introduce a new character or characters who will eventually help the protagonist learn their life lesson.

Friends? Mentors? Love interests? Nemeses (nemesi?)? Who are they? How will they help?

Midpoint (50%)

This moment is when everything seems “great” or everything seems “awful,” depending on your story.

The main character either gets everything they think they want (“great”) or doesn’t get what they think they want at all (“awful”).

Either the Fun and Games section has lead to a false victory for your protagonist (they think they’ve been doing great so far) or a false defeat (they’ve been having a hard time so far).

What happens in this moment, halfway between beginning and end?

But not everything we think we want is what we actually need in the end.

Bad Guys Close In (51-75%)

Get ready for a bumpy ride. If your Midpoint was a false victory, now things start to go wrong for your protagonist.

If the Midpoint was a false defeat, well, things seem to be looking up, but the bad guys are getting closer and will have something to say.

Note: Bad guys can be actual physical enemies, but they can also be emotional enemies, like doubt or jealousy or fear.

Doubt, jealousy, fear, foes both physical and emotional regroup to defeat the main character’s goal, and the main character’s “great”/“awful” situation disintegrates.

Show the protagonist’s newly-built world beginning to unravel.

This will also be one of the longer sections in your novel.

All is Lost (75%)

This is when something happens to make your character hit rock bottom.

It’s the absolute lowest part of your novel.

Maybe someone or something dies (either literally or figuratively).

The initial goal now looks even more impossible than before. And here, something or someone dies.

It can be physical or emotional, but the death of something old makes way for something new to be born.

What does this moment look like for your protagonist?

Dark Night of the Soul (76-80%)

Your protagonist now has time to react to their “All is lost” moment, to mourn what they lost and wallow in hopelessness.

They’re worse off than they were at the beginning of the novel.

Show how low things have gotten.

Mourning the loss of what has “died” – the dream, the goal, the mentor character, the love of your life, etc.

But, you must fall completely before you can pick yourself back up and try again.

ACT 3

Break Into 3 (80%; Choosing Act Three)

The “aha!” moment; the “lift yourself up and try again” moment.

Show the protagonist realizing what they need to do in order to tackle their problems, both external and internal.

Thanks to a fresh idea, new inspiration, or last-minute Thematic advice from the B Story (usually the love interest), the main character chooses to try again.

Finale (81-99%)

The protagonist does what they decided to do in the Break Intro 3 beat, and (because of all the learning/growing they’ve done and the support or insight from the B Story), their plan works.

This time around, the main character incorporates the Theme – the nugget of truth that now makes sense to them – into their fight for the goal because they have experience from the A Story and context from the B Story.

The Bad Guys are defeated, the world is changed for the better.

What are the battles? How will the protagonist triumph (or not)?

This is another longer section, so you’ve got the space to make things dramatic and intense.

Act Three is about Synthesis.

Final Image (99-100%)

This is the opposite of the Opening Image, the “after” snapshot instead of the “before.”

Show the reader how the protagonist and their world have changed.

THE END

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ Writing Notes & References

[nobody-nexus]

Episode 4 Talk: Ragatha

LOOK I know this is the Gangle episode (And yes I WILL give my own thoughts and feelings on her later because there's SO much to unpack with Gangle) but I wanna share my thoughts on Ragatha and what it shows about her character since the next episode is all about her.

I think Ragatha was honestly a highlight of her character just not in the typical sense. The reason is because the way she showed flaws in her character was unique and not how most flaws are shown. The stupid sauce making her honest is very interesting to me, but I also think a lot of people won't fully understand what this means

So- let's start with this over analysis on this character and why she's still honestly my favorite in the series

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

First of all, there's no doubt that the stadium teaser is the Ragatha episode. She is literally teaching Gangle how to throw a ball. It's something she knows about well, and it'll make sense for that to be where we see her the most. Of COURSE she's gonna love a teamwork-based game, but similar to this episode, it's probably gonna boomerang back into something horrible

But then there's after Gangle's mask is broken. After checking if Gangle's okay (sort of, she didn't exactly try) she instantly attacks Jax and they start to fight

Considering a line later in the episode that she said that I'll talk about later on in this essay, I think this does make sense for her character. She seems to have a short tempter with specifically Jax, so she's more likely to turn on him. I think this is due to how he behaves in general, so them always being at each other's throats is probably a very common thing

Them arguing as well gives off (personally) sibling or roommate energy, which I kinda appreciate

After a bit though, we get to the REAL meat of the analysis (pun intended tee hee) which is... the stupid sauce

First of all: I do kinda feel bad for Ragatha. She honestly would've been a fine employee (maybe overworked like Jax?), but the stupid sauce getting into her eye was 100% accidental. Meaning from here on out, we know Ragatha is not completely in character, and against her will at that point

But also the creepy scene out of nowhere makes me think that maybe this stupid sauce isn't the best thing to have....

(although on a funny unrelated note, her reaction makes me think she's a bit of a monster fucker. Hehe, Ragatha x Gangle go brrr)

After a bit of funnier shenanigans, and the Gummigoo thing, we get to the first bits of these impulsive honest thoughts

I think that how these "honest thoughts" work is that they're not like her ACTUAL thoughts, but instead it's what she's thinking at that exact moment. She's going off on exactly what she's thinking and just speaking without foresight. This is the first line that I think implies this, especially with the "I wish someone flirted with me" line

She's not exactly jealous. She's just- saying what comes to her mind. And at this moment, its mild annoyance turning into being upset that she doesn't get that same treatment. Like the "Why isn't that me, why not I get that treatment?" impulsive thought

After some more funny, and a very creepy scene that I swear to GOD is a Get Out reference, we get to another part that for me proves that "Impulsive Honesty" idea for Ragatha. She's TRYING to work, but just- kinda can't cause she's all slouchy and all that, to which Zooble gets annoyed

And then Ragatha calls her a "grouch"

She only says this because Zooble's complaining that she's not doing anything. And Ragatha, having impulsive honesty, just complains back only to say something that makes herself laugh

It's just what she's thinking at the moment

And then here's the part where I think a lot of people aren't going to get this right: The Ragatha and Gangle conversation

This scene is VERY important to me. Specifically, with what it shares about Ragatha. First of all, we get LORE-??? She HAD HORSES AT SOME POINT???

And then we get two lines that I can say as someone who has actually recently been so sick while on their period that I had zero filter in the slightest are 100% impulsive honesty

First, we have the "I'm more responsible than you" line. First of all, she's not. She REALLY fucking isn't. She's all bark and no bite she does NOT have the mature attitude it takes to being a manager despite being older. In fact, it's funny she says this because of the fact that she's the ONLY character working under Gangle that's older

She's been in the circus for a while, and that means she also didn't mature from her mindset from whenever she joined in, which I do think it'd be rather young considering Kinger's age

So this "I'm responsible because I'm older" mindset is certainly on the table for why she said this. Probably because she was taught this mindset when growing up

She would NEVER think this is sober I believe though. Again. IMPULSIVE HONESTY. What was on her mind AT THAT EXACT MOMENT

(Also side note: Gangle still clearly cares about Ragatha in this scene, and I think she knows she'd be a bad manager due to her own struggles and flaws)

Of course after the HONESTLY AMAZING RAGGEDY ANDY REFERENCE we get the scene I feel that's gonna make people misunderstand her the most... THIS SCENE.

This whole scene is so interesting about how Ragatha's impulsive honesty works. Because let's be honest... We've ALL had these thoughts. Like em or not, we all have thoughts like this where you find people you care about annoying or undesirable. You never WANT to have them or say them aloud, but you have those thoughts

The difference? Ragatha has no filter. She doesn't know HOW to shut up at this point and time, so she says something she didn't MEAN to say out loud. And the line she says AFTER confirms this:

SHE DOESN'T REALIZE WHAT SHE SAID WAS EVEN MEAN

Yes, it was mean, I can't deny that- but what I'm saying is that there's a lot of thoughts that go through your head every moment of every day, and not every thought you have is desirable

That's the case here. Ragatha, with no filter, WILL say mean things that she'll NEVER say sober. But I find that her even having these thoughts is a bit of foreshadowing for the future. Perhaps she'll either be more likely to hide how she feels more or be more accepting of them after her episode. Guess we'll have to wait and see for that

EDIT: THANK YOU TO @kingzombear for their post because THIS IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO ADD- the way Ragatha words what she says is something to also take into consideration. While Jax straight up says he likes her better when sad, Ragatha's mention of the happy mask makes this important as well

Notice: It's "Happy Mask" and NOT "Comedy Mask". Both the concept art Goose has posted on Twitter AND how even Gangle doesn't call this mask Zooble gave her a comedy mask, but instead it's referred to AS a happy mask

Now knowing what this mask is specifically called, we now know that even though what Ragatha said SPECIFICALLY was hurtful, that was NOT the intention. Sure, words will still hurt that's a given- but let's think about it more like this:

Ragatha doesn't like Gangle's masking. She likes her when she's being her authentic self and even while basically drunk, she can tell this is NOT Gangle. But also it shows her own flaws because Ragatha is also being a hypocrite

She herself masks her true thoughts and feelings for some people (as will be discussed in a moment), but that also means she can tell when a smile is fake. Because she has a faker smile overall. This mixed with impulsive blunt honesty leads to a line that I think even Gangle didn't understand considering her reaction was to begin to spiral into a mental breakdown

The power of wording can make any context for a scene THAT MUCH DIFFERENT so again thanks for @kingzombear for pointing this out cause this is ALSO really good to understand Ragatha as a character even more- especially her flaws

But of course, that's not the last thing, because I just mentioned the hiding true thoughts and feelings:

The last scene that's important gives us full context of what it's like to BE a people pleaser. When Jax and Ragatha interact while she's on the floor. Although more impulsive honesty, in this case it's her realizing her tendencies. Her people pleaser ways

This is her just sort of- realizing she had a weird mindset but doesn't have the right word for it- which I find neat. Not as groundbreaking in my opinion since I always felt she sorta hated Jax with how explosive she usually is with him and all, but her admitting it, even in such a state, is kinda refreshing to hear

Anyway that's my essay over. I hope this can give some new thoughts on Ragatha as a character! She's my favorite for a reason, and I want people to see how fleshed out she really is!

See you another time. Probably with some art too ^^

[ijenoyou]

Ojos lindos.

Joaquín Torres x StarkF!Reader

WARNINGS: none rlly i think it’s just some nice fluff strangers to friends :3

note: helllowwwww it’s been a while since i’ve written sum for marvel lol anywayssss i rlly enjoyed the new cap movie!! and def did enjoy danny ramirez as the new falcon :3 so yeah i hope yall like this ohhh and if i like this storyline enough i’ll probably make it into a series ;) OH also the reader is supposed to be iron heart !!

Since Sam needed a new team for the Avengers the very first person that came to his mind, aside from Joaquín, was you. You definitely had Tony Stark’s brilliant mind and that helped you build your own suit not wanting to use the one your father made you while you were stuck in the Blip.

And Sam needs someone like that, smart, strong and brave. So when you offered to help him rebuild the team he was more than happy that you did. And he even was more happier to the fact that he got to see you. Since the passing of Tony Stark you disappeared leaving him with the wonder of where you went.

But you had to. Thanos had blasted you with the power of all the stones the moment he saw you get ahold of the gauntlet not knowing that the mixture of the power would cause your body to absorbe it.

So you had new powers, one’s that are quite hard to control, so you did what was safe to the people you care for which was disappear.

But now all was good, your powers are more than safe to use now that you know your way around them. And when Sam found out about the things you could do he knew in his heart he should take you under his wing just like he did with Joaquín Torres.

“She told we could have any room we want.” Sam told Joaquín when they arrived to the old Avengers base.

The both of them grabbed their own baggage and began walking inside the building.

Joaquín’s eyes were shining like crazy. He always thought being an Avenger wasn’t something in his path.

“Uncle Sam!” You said as soon as you saw them walking to the area that had all the old rooms the old team used. You arrived earlier since you wanted to clean up the area for the new arrivals.

Sam smiled and left his things on the floor, he then extended his arms signaling for you to hug him. Since you were quite far holding a broom you decided to teleport.

Joaquín hadn’t seen something like that. The pink glow that appeared in front of him when you appeared of the blue was something that surprised him and it made him lift the right corner of his lip, amused to the fact you were clearly too lazy to walk a few steps to greet Sam.

“So, this is my new child, also known as the new Falcon, Joaquín Torres.” Sam said while grabbing Joaquín’s shoulder.

Your eyes traveled towards him and smiled. You looked different from what he was used to. One of your eyes had a pink glow and the other didn’t, he tried not to let his thoughts show on his face after seeing your new appearance.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sam’s been talking a lot about you since we were on our way.” Joaquín said while reaching his hand out for you to shake. “I’m a big fan of your work, I was a volunteer on the charity you created a few months ago.”

Your smile became even bigger at the mention of the charity you created in honor of the fallen Avengers.

“Really? Thank you so much! I thought I recognized your face from somewhere else.” You said with a sweet tone. “People usually tell me about my father’s work and not mine so thank you, really.” You shook his hand.

Warm.

That’s what he felt inside him when he touched you. He noticed how small your hand was compared to his and how soft your skin felt against his calloused palm.

The both of you didn’t notice how Sam walked out the scene and began searching for a specific room. He wanted the one Steve used since he heard amazing stories about the incredible shower head pressure.

“Want help finding a room?” You said while taking one of this bags from the floor.

“Oh don’t worry I’ll take it!” He tried to take the bag from you.

Too late. You had already teleported a few feet away from him with a playful smile.

“Come! I think you might like this room.”

He smiled and nodded.

He walked behind you for a few moments when you stopped in front of a door that had the number 10 on it. You pushed a few numbers on the pad that was next to the door and the door opened by sliding.

“This one used to be one of my favorite rooms. “ You said with a soft tone.

You left Joaquín’s bag on an old chair and turned to him with your hand on your hips.

“You like it? The view here is amazing, my favorite out of all the rooms.”

He couldn’t believe his eyes. This room had a perfect view to the forest that connected to the base, he couldn’t help but notice how big the room is. Way bigger than he ever imagined with huge windows and a balcony that already had some furniture on it.

“I really do.” He left his things on the floor next to the old chair and walked to stand next to you. Admiring the view.

“My father built quite a lot of rooms for everyone.” You said. “He wanted everyone living under the same roof.” You smiled at the memory of the old team fighting to get the nicest rooms over the base.

Joaquín turned to see you.

You not noticing that he much preferred to have you as the increíble view you mentioned instead of the forest.

“Que ojos tan lindos.” He didn’t realized what he said until you turned towards him with a lifted eyebrow and small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

“You think? I’m still getting used to the new color but it’s quite cool.” He didn’t know you understood spanish. A blush began spreading to his face and his right hand scratched the back of his neck with a bashful smile.

“Sorry I just..” He tried to speak but being caught red handed specially by you made him lose control of his words.

“It’s fine!” Your shoulder pushed his. “I don’t mind people looking at my eye, I mean, the staring was bound to happen.” You explained and began walking away from him. “I’ll let you get settled okay? Dinner’s at 8! I’m cooking enchiladas, hope that’s okay.”

Joaquín nodded. “I love enchiladas.” You gave him a thumbs up and walked out the room.

He turned again and stared at the windows for a few seconds until he registered what you said about the staring. He quickly turned on his heel and sprinted to the hall. “For the record I wasn’t staring at your eye! I was just admiring them!” He shouted for you to hear.

A big laugh was all he hear from down the hall. He smiled and turned which caused him to have a mini heart attack at the sight of Sam behind him.

“Dude! Make some noise the next time you stand behind me.” Joaquín said while putting a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat at a fast pace.

Sam made a face at him. That damn look Sam had almost all of the time when he found something cheeky. Like he knew a secret about you.

“You and little Stark became friends really fast uh?” Was all he said while crossing his arms over his chest.

[ ]

A plate of enchiladas appeared in front of Joaquín and Sam’s eyes.

“Here you go!” You said while sitting in front of them at the aisle of the kitchen instead of the big dinning room. You had said it felt way bigger with just the three of you, but Sam reassured you that with time and effort that would soon change.

“So, do you know when Bucky’s coming?” Sam asked while cutting his enchiladas.

You nodded, your hand reaching for a napkin. “Yes! He told me he’s coming next week after he visits the wakandians for a new update on his arm.” You explained after taking a big gulp of your iced coca cola. “He’s been staying up here with me for a while so his room is already set up.”

That caught Joaquín’s full attention and Sam noticed. Sam decided to play a little game with the knowledge he now has. His new child had a crush on little Stark. Oh my, how small the world is.

“Really? And what do you guys do? I’m assuming is just the two of you.” Sam told you with a cheeky sneer.

Your cheeks became flushed and that made Joaquín furrow his eyebrows, just a little.

“Well we just spend time next to one another you know? Sometimes I’ll be reading and he would be sitting next to me while he learns how to share a TikTok.” You explained with your eyes locked on your food.

Sam lifted an eyebrows and began asking more things to get a rise out of Joaquín. “How nice of him, right Joaquín?” Sam elbowed him causing him to cough.

“Oh? Yeah…”

“He doesn’t stay a lot.” You explained sensing the weird tension in the air. “He sometimes comes when I tell him I miss my father.”

The strings of Joaquín’s heart were pulled. He couldn’t imagine what you felt. From what Sam told him, it was just you and Tony Stark. He then met Pepper and became partners but for a while it was just the two of you, against everything.

He knew your father was your rock, he was all you had since your mother died while giving birth, the doctors not noticing she was having an internal bleeding causing her to slip away without too much fuss. The info being shared by Sam.

“But now, you two are here so I won’t be feeling as lonely as before.” Sam nodded as the same time Joaquín did.

After dinner Sam had to take a call from the White House, leaving you with Joaquín to wash all of the dirty dishes you used.

It was nice. Joaquín felt a cozy vibe coming from the moment, soft jazz music playing on the background, you next to him drying the plates with a cloth he would give you after he scrubbed them.

“I totally think he faked that call because he didn’t want to help wash the dishes.” You said playfully.

A laughed erupted from Joaquín’s chest and nodded. “For sure! I mean did you see the look he gave us when he stood up?”

Now it was your time to laugh. “That damn look he has! It’s like he knows something about you, isn’t it?” The both of you exploded of laughter. Making fun of Sam was one of your favorite hobbies now that he was more present in your life.

“Thank you for the compliment by the way.” He heard you say while putting the last plate on its designated place. “Yo también pienso que tienes unos ojos muy lindos.”

He almost choked when he heard those words coming past your lips.

“I didn’t know you spoke spanish.” He explained bashful.

“Tony made me learn quite a handful of languages when I was a kid.” You told him. “Spanish was my favorite by far, I think it’s a very romantic language, don’t you think?”

“It sure is.” Was all he said while turning his body to you.

The both of you didn’t notice how close your bodies were. He could feel the warmth coming from your body, that’s how close he was to you. He could see with clear perfection every lash and every beauty mark on your face. His eyes stopping their path on yours. Joaquín could see the pink glow with perfection and it felt like time stopped.

He wasn’t attracted to your eyes just because of the pink color but because he felt really seen under your gaze. It felt like you were going under every inch and corner of his mind, leaving your mark in it.

And you felt the same thing.

“I-I think it’s quite late, isn’t it?” Your voice brought him back to reality.

He stepped back, instantly missing the warmth of your body. He cleared his throat and sighed.

“Oh right.” He spoke. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

Your lips curled and nodded. “Of course.” Your voice came out almost as a whisper. “I’m off to sleep, if you need anything my room is next to yours actually.”

He bit his bottom lip and smiled. “Okay then, sleep well mini Stark.” That damned nickname Thor gave you years ago made your skin tickle. A funny feeling forming inside your chest.

**

Que ojos tan lindos - what beautiful eyes

Yo también pienso que tienes unos ojos muy lindos - I also think you have beautiful eyes

[gods-perfect-idiots]

Okay bear with me folks, I have some ~thoughts~ about the Vanessa/Wade relationship (or frankly lack thereof) in Deadpool & Wolverine. I should start by saying that I am analyzing this with the (likely erroneous) assumption that everything on screen is 100% intentional and mindfully written to deepen the characters and inform their arcs. For the record, I don't necessarily believe that's true - there is certainly room for mistakes, lazy writing, confusing plot elements, or in this case, sidelining a potentially strong and important character for nebulous reasons (I'm guessing scheduling conflicts + run time concerns + actor's strike complications but idk for sure). (Also thanks to @gossippool and @kendyroy for encouraging me to post my thoughts instead of just rambling in the tags in the first place, y'all are the realest)

Long rambly post below the cut fyi

Now, granted, it has been a while since I watched the original Deadpool so I am not as well-versed in their early relationship as I am in the handful of scenes Morena Baccarin has in dp3, but I do think it is pretty canon that Wade generally struggles to express his deeper worries and feelings (without filtering it heavily through crude humor, sex, and pop culture references of course), especially after the events of dp1 and the physical and mental damage he sustains, and Vanessa is frankly no exception despite how much he cares for her. The entire first movie hinges on the fact that he doesn't really believe she could love him in his post-Francis mangled state, which is pretty contrived imo given that the film has established already how bonded they are, and she doesn't strike me as being written to be so shallow as to reject him based on a physical deformity. I mean iirc she wanted to stick around through chemo despite him being literally riddled with inoperable cancer, so she clearly is in it for the long haul (at least in dp1), messiness and all.

Now, in dp2, obviously she is shot and killed early in the film, and Wade spends much of the rest of the film wallowing in his very profound grief, trauma, and guilt over losing her due directly to his violent lifestyle. He goes to prison, he basically gives up on life and seems very resigned to dying once he has the power suppressant collar on, even excited to do so so he can be reunited with her. She is mostly sidelined as a Fuzzy Dead Wife trope basically, but the important thing here is that he spends weeks if not months in the throes of despair over losing the love of his life just as they were trying to start a family, and trying to reach across the boundaries of death to be with her.

Now, my first couple times watching dp3 I was frustrated by the trite narrative presented in the interview scene towards the beginning - specifically Wade's whole "my girl is getting tired of my shtick and I need to show her I matter". It felt contrived and disingenuous, and I just brushed it off as iffy writing, a means to an end, but the more I reflect upon it the more I think it is based in an emotional reality that is just handled with a very light touch by the film in favor of fanservice and Poolverine content (NOT that I'm complaining in the slightest - I think this movie is a masterpiece in many ways, albeit a flawed one but that's beside the point here), which for the record I am not against because I think it lends it an air of realism. This is Wade's story after all, Vanessa is a part of it but it is ultimately about him and his journey.

Basically, I think the combination of what happened to him in dp1 (the brain damage, the trauma, the awareness of the fourth wall, etc) followed by the events of dp2 (Vanessa's death, his grief and the associated guilt and trauma of being the direct cause of her death) led to an unbridgeable emotional gap between the two of them that ultimately leads to their breakup.

It's important to note that I don't think Vanessa has any recollection of her own death, given that Wade goes back and saves her before she can take the bullet, and so of course she can never fully fathom what Wade went through grieving her and their life together and their potential family, for however long he spent between her death and bringing her back with Cable's device. She can try (and she clearly does in the one scene I'll talk about next) but I fear she accepts, maybe even in that scene, that she can never succeed. He is beyond her reach by this point, and vice versa, his experiences having fundamentally changed him.

The one scene we really see from their relationship between dp2 and dp3 is the one where Cassandra mind-gropes Wade in the Void and we see Vanessa struggling to reach Wade across this aforementioned gap - she wants him to open up, she wants him to share what he's going through, she wants him to be the person she initially fell in love with (not even selfishly - to her nothing has changed really, because to her no time has passed). But not only does he not understand what she's really asking for but he responds in such a way that makes me think he has unprocessed issues that are only tangentially related to what she's saying - ie the stuff about mattering, about asking her if she even wants to be with him, etc. And he's not the Wade Wilson she met back in dp1 anymore. He watched her die and grieved her and brought her back, believing it would make everything go back to normal and they could resume their life together as if nothing had changed, but he has been fundamentally changed in a way that she can't grasp, even if he WAS good at externally processing his trauma openly without the artifice of wry jokes. She didn't "come back wrong" - instead, she came back exactly the same as before, but HE'S different now. Not wrong, per se. But changed.

It's an interesting scene because it's obviously a memory, and a crucial one at that, but you can see how Wade is misunderstanding what she's saying, viewing it through the prism of his own lack of self-worth and his own hopelessness - he takes away that she thinks he doesn't matter (even though like he says she didn't actually say that, but I don't think Cassandra invented that wholecloth - I think she pulled it out of his psyche because that's what he believes deep down, hence why his fixation on mattering even though she never said those words exactly), he takes away that she doesn't want to be with him, that she thinks he's nothing. Which would be frustrating as an audience member to witness as a pretty simple misunderstanding which could potentially be solved with one conversation, but it feels believable to me that these two people who have shared a great love would be fundamentally separated by unimaginable, cosmic trauma, and the on conversation they would need to have to rectify the misunderstanding is one that is impossible for Wade to verbalize and equally impossible for Vanessa to conceive of. It was one thing when they had shared trauma like violence and SA in dp1, but what Wade has gone through in dp1 and dp2, humor aside, is unfathomably traumatic, brain-breakingly so even, and that's not even factoring in the possible mental illnesses he now struggles with (I've seen folks suggest schizophrenia, DID, depression, etc. but I won't get into armchair diagnosing a fictional character here - suffice it to say he is canonically unwell as a result of what has happened to him, and yes it manifests as quirky fourth wall breaks and cheeky one-liners, but within the universe of the movies he is undeniably profoundly mentally ill, and that includes this humorous alter ego he created to cope with his trauma).

I think off-screen Vanessa probably really tried to reach him, maybe for years (the six year gap implies to me that they didn't break up immediately, that they tried for a while to stay together), trying to get her Wade back, but that Wade is gone. He struggled to express that to her until eventually he started to feel rejected because he couldn't express his trauma or how much he has changed, because even he can't fully conceive of the gulf that has formed between them. The truth is, he WANTS to be that Wade again, for her and for himself, but that Wade died when she died. Or maybe he had already started dying when Francis got a hold of him in dp1.

Anyway, all this is to say, I think Morena Baccarin WAS criminally underutilized in dp2 and dp3, but I think there is a strong argument to be made for the believability of their breakup regardless. I think even relationships built on enormous love can crumble due to trauma, and what Wade suffers over these movies is mind-bogglingly enormous trauma. It's especially heartbreaking that he blames himself for their relationship ending, talks like she just got tired of him, thought he didn't matter, whatever. But it is a credit to him that he never seems to feel anger towards her about it. He doesn't seem to feel entitled to her, though he longs for her and what they had and what she represented (hope, love, a future, a family), but ultimately she becomes more of a symbol of what he lost when he gained his powers, because let's be super fr right now - even if they had succeeded in having a baby, not only would they have lived in fear of her or the kid getting killed, but ultimately Wade would likely outlive both of them even if they managed to die natural deaths. The moment he gained his powers he was already destined to lose her, which is heartbreaking because she was the only reason he opted for the treatment in the first place - so he could stay with her.

I think a big part of Deadpool & Wolverine is watching Wade continue to process his own motivations (vis-a-vis Vanessa but also his other friends) and how he does eventually let go of the idea of "mattering" in favor of just saving the people he cares about (*cough* and being saved right back *cough* by Wolvie, as the final line and shot implies). And in the process he finds someone new who cares about him, who thinks he matters, who tries to sacrifice himself for him and his friends after mere days of knowing him, who comes home with him at the end of the story, who breaks his own centuries-old patterns, who has also experienced unimaginable grief and trauma, who has struggled with wanting to die and being unable to, who not only matches his crazy but matches his FREAK and also not only won't die on him but CAN'T die on him - and more importantly cannot be randomly killed by a stray bullet.

Idk if any of this makes much sense but I do think if you read between the lines and consider the potency of trauma and grief, guilt and emotional damage at play here, Vanessa and Wade's off-screen breakup is actually pretty realistic, and really heart-breaking to boot.

You can tell she still cares about him in so many ways - she shows up for his birthday party, she shows up to his welcome home party at the end, she finds excuses for physical contact multiple times, her eyes get soft when she looks at him, but there is a distance there that Morena Baccarin does an incredible job of portraying. She cares about him deeply, she has mourned the loss of their potential life together, she has let him go and accepted that the Wade she fell in love with is gone, but she wants him in her life even though she's moving on because she realizes he's gone somewhere she can't follow (literally and figuratively). And she wants him to be happy which is why I fully believe she would immediately clock the Poolverine of it all and not-so-subtly encourage them to make it official.

Anyway. Poolverine forever. Nothing against Vanessa at all - I think she delivers a nuanced and beautiful performance, I think their relationship is sweet and heart-wrenching in large part due to her acting chops, especially given how little she is given to work with - but I think their relationship was sadly doomed from almost the very start, because Wade becomes this traumatized superhuman and Vanessa would always be at risk in his orbit, but also would always on the outside of his multiverse superhero experiences. I think it's weirdly beautiful, even if I am filling in a lot of gaps and giving the writers maybe undue credit.

Anyway... thoughts? Please DM me or write in the tags, I am feral about this movie and just want to talk about it with anyone haha. If you have further insight into these characters too I'd love to hear it - I am by no means an expert in these movies or characters!

[ambrosiagourmet]

In chapter 28, Marcille lays out why the journey she's been on has been worth the pain: because they were able to bring Falin back. The injuries, the indignity, and the mess of it all - they are tolerable primarily in context of destination she believes she's reached at this point.

In truth, of course, the story is far from finished. In fact, I would argue that this is actually where hers really starts. This scene holds the seed of the very thing the Winged Lion will exploit to lead Marcille to become the Lord of the Dungeon. After all, with a desire as far reaching and deeply held as Marcille's, if the only acceptable outcome is success, what other choice does she have but to bargain with the infinite?

So let's talk about this idea - where it leads her, how Laios' path intersects with it, and how they both help each other move forward in the face of failure.

First though, I want to step back and talk about something else: the shapeshifter chapters.

With these chapters recently covered by the anime, there has, of course, come plenty of fun discussions about which version of each character belongs which other character's perceptions, and what that means.

One thing I've seen pointed out a few times is the fact that both Laios and Marcille's impressions of each other are based around Falin. Marcille's version of Laios is larger and more masculine, because those are the traits that stuck out to her in contrast to Falin. Laios' version of Marcille was directly inspired by her appearance and demeanor when resurrecting Falin.

So why is this important to a discussion about Marcille being focused on success? Well, it shows us where Laios and Marcille's relationship starts: built primarily around their shared love for Falin. It's from that shared beginning that they begin to learn about each other on their own terms.

And this is true for the whole group, to be clear. They are united by circumstance - love for a lost companion, a sense of responsibility, a desire for freedom - but they all grow and help each other beyond that circumstance. They help Senshi bury the ghosts of his past and eat some Hippogriff stew. They help Izutsumi open up to mutual love and friendship. And they learn so much about each other: about Chilchuck's family and Laios' love of monsters and Marcille's desires to live life alongside others.

In the particular case of Marcille and Laios, understanding each other is what lets them save each other. It is not through Falin that Laios talks Marcille down from the edge the Lion has brought her to, nor is it through her that Marcille comforts Laios after the demon is defeated, when it is still unclear how everything will work out.

In fact, it is very specifically the unknown fate of Falin that Marcille comforts him about.

She is willing to accept the outcome - willing, now, to embrace the journey itself, rather than only accepting it as a means to an end.

This is a lesson she learns from Laios, and it's a lesson we watch Laios learn, too.

Just before making her deal with the Lion, Marcille recalls everything that led her to that moment. She lingers on the pain, recalling the worst of their journey:

She only pushes through by remembering her goals: saving Falin, and equalizing the lifespans of her friends to match her own.

And yet, 10 chapters later, when reflecting on why she actually wants to see her goals through, it is the good parts of that very same journey that shine through.

There's an inherent contradiction here, one which Marcille doesn't know how to face. How can the suffering that she tolerates also be the love that drives her forward? How can the loss that she's worked so hard to reverse also be the very circumstance that created a world she, now, cannot stand to give up?

And Laios confronts her with the truth. Because it just is.

Losing Falin forced him to open up to others in a way he never had. It forced him to choose what he cares about, and in making that choice, it gave him the opportunity to be seen. To connect with others.

He has already had to come to terms with the fact that Falin's death has given him something - he would not have been able to kill her again if he hadn't.

There is something here that is fundamental to Dungeon Meshi's understanding of what life even is. Like, I don't think it's a coincidence that part of Laios' speech to Marcille in chapter 85 is actually first seen in the chapter where they fight off ghosts.

In 'Sorbet,' while possessed , Laios thinks that it would have been better if the dragon had eaten him, instead of Falin. The ghosts make people lose their will to live - they are dragged away from life.

When he's pulled back from that brink, Laios realizes that he can't move forward without accepting that she is gone. He even compares the way he was holding on to her to being possessed: it pulled him away from life, from the present moment.

To carry on, he must accept what has been lost, and focus on protecting the life that they still have.

Like Marcille, he has to accept the contradictions of their journey. That life means eating, and eating requires death. That sometimes one must be selfish in order to be kind, and that selflessness can easily be twisted into to cruelty.

That loss will, inevitably, lead you to find happiness that you may not have found otherwise.

This is how he gets through to Marcille. And I think part of the reason he reaches her with these specific ideas is because those contradictions are baked so thoroughly into their relationship.

Marcille only met Falin after she had been left behind by Laios. Laios was able to reconnect with Falin because she left Marcille. They both met each other through Falin, and yet they only really got to know and care for one another after she died.

And of course, that's why Marcille uses the same ideas to comfort Laios, in the final chapter. It is because of Laios that she is able to accept the journey for itself, and not need the happy ending to justify its meaning to her.

Together, they help each other move forward, and accept that they may not be able to bring Falin back.

Which, if I'm being honest... I think this is the reason Falin can come back, narratively speaking, without the resurrection feeling like it takes away from the themes of the story.

After all, she doesn't do it for Marcille or Laios - she does it for her own sake. Her own hunger and her own desire to eat are the things that lead her back to life.

All three of them, together, end the story like this: not clinging to the things they are afraid to lose, but knowing they can choose to move forward together.

And, importantly, this happy ending is no longer the thing that gives the journey meaning. Rather, it is the privilege of the journey itself that is her happy ending: the chance to walk alongside others in the time they have, to get to know each other, and to eat well.