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secretlywritingstories · 1 year ago

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In another life you still would’ve turned my head | phan one shot

Summary: Dan comes across old black and white photos of two queer men messing around, one playing with the other's hair, just like he did in a recent video with Phil. He gets caught up in the emotions that he would have fallen in love with Phil in any universe. He crawls into Phil's lap and tells him exactly that.

Word count: 2.7k

Tags: 2023!phan, established relationship, queer love, couch cuddles

Inspired by Timeless by Taylor Swift and Phil’s video on Twitter

Read on AO3 or below

‘Cause I believe we were supposed to find this

So even in a different life

You would still have been mine

We would’ve been timeless

Dan didn’t really scroll tumblr that often anymore, but he opened the tab sometimes when the mood stuck him. The current mood was laptop time after dinner, sitting in their pyjamas in the living room, just existing next to each other, doing their own little thing.

He’s barely scrolled for more than a minute or two when he’d scrolled carelessly past a post but something made him scroll back up and take a second look. He scrolled up and then let his fingers just hover over the mousepad to look at it. It felt like something snagged in his chest, and knocked the air out of his lungs.

It was four photos of four old photos. Four old black and white photos featuring featuring two young men laid out nicely on a table and captured with a phone camera. Not exactly unusual but there was something about the vibes of the photos, how the two men leaned into each other, one holding the other by his hair, and it was so strikingly familiar that it makes something in Dan’s chest ache.

He scrolled down a little more to see the caption and his eyes felt as they tremble as he read.

found these in the attic, it said 1944 on the back. mum said that one of the men was my grandfather’s older brother James. she didn’t know the other man. i don’t know much about James, but i do know that he never married or had children. but it looks like he still had love. seeing these warmed my queer little heart.

Dan clicked to enlarge the photos, and he felt like he wasn’t really breathing as the took the first one in. It looked like the two had been set up for a proper photoshoot but they got distracted. Both were wearing big smiles, grinning at each other like there was no one else in the world.

In the next one, one of them was rolling their eyes in fondness while the other had his head thrown back laughing. Dan felt like he could almost hear it, loud laughter ringing in his own ears.

He clicked onwards, and now one of the guys had stood up and his hands in the other’s hair, it looked like he was gently carding his fingers through the strands. The man still sitting down was looking up at the other man, all of his focus on him, while the other seemed to be talking, not caring that the camera was pointed at them and they probably should have been trying to sit still.

And then the last one. It was arguably the worst of the photos, one of the men mostly blurry because he was actively being shoved off to the side, but it was without a doubt Dan’s favourite of the four. The man might mostly be blurry, but you could still make out a small smile on his lips. The man who’d shoved at him looked so satisfied with himself.

It was radiating love, practically palpable in the air, and Dan felt like he couldn’t breathe without inhaling it. Without it settling in his lungs, heavy and important.

It was not entirely without reason that these photos hit so hard today of all days. He saw something else in photos, something reflected back at him. Just yesterday him and Phil had filmed a video asking for suggestions of what hairstyle Phil should try next.

It had been utterly impulsive and so fun. Phil had just casually mentioned that he wanted to try a new hairstyle, and Dan hadn’t hesitated to involve himself. He cared a whole lot about Phil’s hair after all.

He’d seen it in all of its stages and he would love it in all of its stages, even the crappy square hair from when they were young. Still, he was excited to see Phil switch it up, and try something new. It was hard for Phil to pluck up the courage for it, and therefore Dan knew he needed a gentle shove to actually do something about it.

The video had been just that. Something to hold him accountable, so he would do what he wanted to do.

Phil had grown tired of the quiff, of having to style it and he wanted to try something new. Dan could have helped with research, or they could have talked to their hairdresser, but why not turn to their community when they’d eat up something like this? And the fact that Dan had been in the video, shoving Phil around and messing with his hair had just been a bonus.

It didn’t feel quite as daunting to post something like that anymore. For a while the two of them had distanced themselves from sharing stuff like that, in the years following their coming out. Things were different than before when they were in a glass closet. Before they had said that their relationship was real, even if both of them had been adamant about wanting to keep it private.

This was a tiny peek into their life, a moment captured and shared just because they could.

Just like these two men back in 1944. They’d clearly deemed the photographs important enough to print and keep, even if they seemed to have been left behind in an attic in the end. It was so silly and fun and Dan couldn’t help but agree with the person who’d posted them. It made his heart warm too.

He stayed on the last photo, the blurry shove, and he opened another tab for Twitter to search up Phil and find the video from yesterday. He moved the cursor near the end where he knew he’d given Phil a playful shove.

He pressed play, hearing Phil lift his head from the other end of the sofa at the sound, and Dan watched how in the video a small smile played on Phil’s lips just as he was shoved to the side. Dan clicked back to the other tab and watched the photo again. The identical expressions felt like it hollowed out something inside of him, and then filled him with warmth.

It could have been them. In another life, in another time, that could have been him and Phil. The photos were taken during World War II and two young men found the time to laugh, and play around. If they two of them had met then, Dan was sure that Phil still would have captured his attention.

He’d have dreamed of having a moment like that with him. Just like he loved that they could have moments like this now. After everything they’d been through. After all the talk about soulmates and finding each other in every universe… it had always been kind of a joke with a grain of truth. A part of Dan deep down that wanted to believe Phil in his adamant conviction that they were meant to find each other. Always.

“Dan?” Phil asked, voice softly curious.

Dan knew his face was probably trying to process his complicated feelings. He wasn’t quite sure how to sort them out, how to put all of this into words that made sense. He couldn’t really.

Seeing photos of queer people existing throughout history always got him, but this felt even more poignant when he could see the two of them reflected in the touches and the smiles. The photos could literally have been stills from the video Phil had posted. 79 years apart and yet it felt like the same story.

Dan was projecting, heavily, but he didn’t care. He pushed his laptop away from him, setting it on the table and turned towards Phil, who’d been watching him. There was something curious in Phil’s eyes, and he quirked an eyebrow up in a silent question.

They were so used to communicating with each other, and Phil would probably understand what Dan meant even if he only got a few words out. But right now, it felt like all of the words were stuck in his throat. It wasn’t often that he didn’t have anything to say.

He could run his mouth on practically any topic. He was a chronic rambler but right now, it felt like it had all dried up. How was he meant to explain that he loved Phil so much that he saw the two of them in other people’s past too? In another time, he could imagine that it would have been the them sharing laughter and messing around.

How could he explain that he would have fallen in love with Phil no matter where or when they would have met? And how loving him felt endless and timeless?

Phil put his laptop on the coffee table right next to Dan’s, and Dan hadn’t even realised that he wanted crawl over but he could feel it now, the innate pull to be in Phil’s arms. His body was moving before he’d really decided to do it. It had always been pretty good at navigating itself when it came to Phil.

Phil was like a magnetic field, and it was so very easy to let himself get pulled into it.

The two of them were cuddly and touchy. They’d always been so, even if they had periods where they were more careful because of cameras being around. Still, it wasn’t quite usual for Dan to climb into Phil’s lap and just latch onto him unprompted.

His knees dug into the sofa cushions on either side of Phil, and he buried his face in Phil’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his skin and thinking whether those two lovers had ever pressed close to each other like this.

Maybe they weren’t queer. Maybe Dan was just reading into it, just like the person who’d posted the photos, but something in his heart sung that love recognised love. There was a reason he saw himself and Phil in those photos.

When he’d been younger, he’d sometimes been mad that he couldn’t quite keep the love out of his eyes when he was around Phil. How it radiated out of the both of them and made them vulnerable to speculation that they hadn’t been ready to face.

That he hadn’t been ready to face.

Everything had been subtext, hidden glances, and then so much love away from prying eyes.

Perhaps the two guys in the photos had never been allowed to be seen for what they were, but it didn’t diminish what Dan could see between them. He was happy that things were different for him and Phil. That they got to exist as themselves. Dan was still working on feeling pride in his identity, but he had no doubt in his love for Phil.

It was the easiest thing in his life.

A given.

Dan Howell breathes, and loves Phil Lester.

Phil’s hands came to rub up and down Dan’s back, and he didn’t complain that he suddenly had most of Dan’s weight just dumped into his lap. He welcomed it, even if Dan was just being emo about a couple of photos.

While he didn’t ask verbally, Dan could hear the questions that Phil didn’t asked. He wondered what had set Dan off like this, even if he would be able to pick up on the fact that it wasn’t really a bad thing. Just emotional.

“Saw some photos,” Dan mumbled against Phil’s neck. “Queers from the 40’s. Goofing around, one playing with the other’s hair.”

The sentences came out fragmented, kind of sharp existing his mouth.

Phil hummed in understanding. “I see.”

Dan knew he did, but now that he was talking, he couldn’t quite stop himself from continuing. It was suddenly very important to him that Phil knew where his head had been at. Dan knew Phil only would be delighted that Dan was seeing them in reflected in other queers through history. He’d have called it fate.

“It could have been us,” Dan said, voice almost a whisper, but he didn’t need to speak very loudly when Phil was this close. When they were touching, embracing and breathing the same air. “I would have loved you even then.”

He meant every word. Even with war and homophobia worse than now, he’d have chosen to fall for Phil. He would have chosen to risk everything and pursue him, just like he’d done in this life when he’d started to reach out as just a fan on Twitter.

More than a decade has passed and yet he could still remember every beat his heart had skipped when he realised that they were becoming something more. When they’d become actual friends, rapidly evolving to best friends, falling in love and deciding that they wanted to share their lives forever.

He thought of all of their different boxes of memories, of how they clung onto all of their history. The story of them.

“Even in another life, you would still have been mine,” Phil agreed, squeezing Dan tighter to his chest. “Can you show me?”

Dan flung his hand in direction of his laptop and felt how Phil shifted both of them forward so that he could pull the laptop closer to take a look. He put it down on the sofa next to them, and Dan heard him click through the photos.

He closed his eyes and relaxed in Phil’s embrace, quite content not to move right now, even if he did want to see Phil’s reaction. He could feel part of it, with their chests pushed together like this, Dan swore he could feel Phil’s heart kick up and go a little faster.

“They’re beautiful,” Phil whispered, earnestly and then because he couldn’t help himself, he added: “Hot too.”

Dan had been so lost in big emotions that he hadn’t expected Phil to say something like that. It startled a laugh out of him, and he almost managed to knock both himself and Phil off the sofa.

“Oi! You’ve got your own hot guy right here!” Dan protested, voice light and airy as he continued to laugh between his words. He put more of his weight onto Phil like he could crush him. Remind himself that he got to be with Phil like this. All tangled up in each other.

He didn’t actually care that Phil found other men attractive. Phil seemed to have a pendant for running into hot men everywhere, and Dan mostly found it ridiculously funny how Phil malfunctioned around them. For fun, he would play up his jealousy or poke fun at Phil with it.

He knew that the love they shared, and how their attraction to each other was much deeper than just physical hotness. Dan knew that Phil would always come back home to him, no matter how many super attractive dudes he might encounter.

“I do,” Phil said, moving to squeeze Dan’s ass unabashedly.

Dan opened his mouth to chastise Phil for fun, but he couldn’t get a word out before his lips were captured in a kiss. He could have pulled away to continue the banter, but he found that he’d much rather melt into the kiss.

Get lost in his timeless love with the one man that he’d search low and high for in any world and in any time. He knew that love would always mean leaning into Phil’s side and getting lost in his eyes.

It was joking around after Dan got emotional about old queers that could have been them. It was knowing exactly how to kiss each other after all of these years. It was how they would always choose each other.

Before meeting Phil, Dan had dared to dream of love and romance, but he could never have imagined what they’d find together. They always had a whole hoard of cardboard boxes with memories, and the collection would only grow and grow.

Dan couldn’t imagine a life where he wouldn’t find Phil. They were going to be timeless. He was sure of it.

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan fluff #my stories #pedia

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a-drabble-a-dray · 7 months ago

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Veilsmoke, Prologue Chapter 1: A Convenience Store Trip.

THUMP.

Lake groaned, rubbing their forehead as they stepped back from the automatic door. Every time. Their eyes trailed up, meeting the sensor’s infrared gaze in an ineffective staredown.

A moment passed, their conviction unflinching.

No dice.

Lake relented, waving their hand around so the sensor would actually detect them.

The doors complied, like inanimate objects were supposed to in the first place.

Sighing, Lake stepped into the convenience store. The air conditioner was as strong as ever inside, heedless of the already cold weather. Overly colorful packaging lined the shelves, though Lake’s familiarity with their own preferences made it easy to ignore all the exceptionally unhealthy temptations.

“You know…” As Lake reached out for a bottle of soda, the cashier’s voice creeping in from behind sent a chill down their spine before the cold of the fridge even hit them. Oh. She was watching. “It’s just you. The door works fine otherwise.”

“W-Well, that’s not my fault!” Lake turned around, racking their mind to come up with a face-saving rebuttal. “Besides, uh…”

“...Besides?” The young woman leaned on the counter, face half-shrouded in a mess of black hair, though her amusement still peered through. “Go on.”

“Besides, you– Wait.” Lake blinked, mentally shifting gears to a more important question. “You were keeping track?”

“Oh, I, uh–” She blinked, standing straight up on her stool. “No, that’s… Stupid. It’s just that, uh, I’d notice. Practically nobody comes here.”

“Oh.” Lake paused, glancing at the shelves, holding a large bottle of lemon soda. “Well, I come here. That counts for something, right?”

“No.” She shot down quickly. “It’s just confusing, really. You walk all the way across the bridge for, what? Junk food?”

“Um… Yeah…?” Lake paused, feeling a twinge of guilt as they grabbed the largest-sized bag of chips the store had. “Wait, how did you…?”

“You were wearing a Roche U shirt last time. I figured you lived on campus.” She explained, putting some of the magazines from the register counter back onto the rack.

“That… Makes sense.” Lake placed their purchase on the counter, hesitating for a second. “But, um…” They piped up, trying to pretend they weren’t blushing. “Why do you remember so much about me?”

The cashier froze for a second, barcode scanner stumbling out of her hand and down onto the floor. After looking for it for what felt like a minute, she shot back up with a counter. “What are you talking about? That’s basic info. Maybe don’t come around so often if you’re so embarrassed.”

“O-Oh. Right.” They nodded, a bit taken aback by the scolding. “It’s just, um, most people don’t remember my name, nevermind all that.”

“That’s… Kinda sad.” She sighed, scanning the codes. Slowly, however, the cashier’s eyes trailed up, until they met Lake’s. She stayed silent, lips parted uneasily. “I…”

“...Lake.” They tried to not look disappointed. “It’s Lake.”

“Oh. Right. Okay.” She nodded, glancing away. “H-Here’s your total.”

Lake tapped their phone against the PIN pad, sighing in relief as a beep confirmed the transaction actually went through. “...Can I ask something, in return?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” She nodded, offering a plastic bag.

“Is ‘Phan’ short for anything?”

She paused, glancing down at the name tag sticker glued to her coat. “...No. No, it’s noth–”

The cashier froze, tensing up and wide-eyed. As soon as Lake opened their mouth to say something, the world went black.

It took a second to adjust. It seemed like a blackout, but that wouldn’t have left them in pitch black at nine in the morning. The lights, thankfully, slowly faded back on, only to remain unstable. The fluorescent bulbs, buzzing and flickering, seemed to form patterns, attention to the lights making Lake feel something clawing behind their eyes.

Their focus shifted to the door. The morning outside was gone. Outside was gone. There wasn’t simply darkness beyond the glass– Whatever was on the other side seemed to consume the scant light left in the store.

Phan grit her teeth. She didn’t seem nearly as confused, but still looked as visibly uncomfortable, bracing herself on the counter.

“What–” Lake mumbled, only to be hit with a stinging pain. The simple sound of words, soft as they were, seemed to twist itself into knives, making even Phan flinch from the aural torture.

‘Shut up.’ She mouthed soundlessly, raising a hand as if telling them to wait.

Lake braced themself against the counter, letting the seconds flow into minutes, the buzzing and the flickering scratching at the edges of their mind as if to not let them get distracted.

And then, it was gone.

Another flash of darkness, and they were… Back. The lights were on. The sun shone outside.

“...What…” Lake huffed, legs somehow even shakier now that they were, seemingly, safe. “...What was that?”

“I’ve got no idea.” She responded, hesitating. “It just… Happens. Sometimes.”

“Wh- That?” Lake shook their head in astonishment. “Shouldn’t someone, uh, look into that? I-I mean, maybe…” They reached for the business card, still in their pocket from yesterday.

“Someone should,” Phan interrupted, “but… I’d rather nobody did. I can’t really afford to lose this job.”

“...Working retail, you mean?” Lake blinked.

“No,” she corrected, crossing her arms, “getting to slack off unsupervised all day because nobody comes here.”

“...Oh.”

“They even pay well– Maybe because of the, uh…”

“...Nightmare blackouts?” Lake offered.

“That works.” She shrugged. “Besides, I don’t want job advice when you’re specifically going to the cheapest convenience store in town.”

“I–” Lake huffed. “I’m working on that!”

“Uh-huh.” She sighed. “Well, your stuff’s still there.”

“...Yeah.” Lake picked up the plastic bag, stepping towards the door with a bit of a smile. “Thanks.”

“...Ophanim.” She mumbled, as soon as they turned around.

“...Huh?” Lake turned around, cocking their head to the side.

“My name. Phan is short for Ophanim.” She huffed, averting her eyes. “I know it’s stupid, but–”

“I like it!” Lake grinned.

“...Sure you do.” She turned away, leaning back on her stool. ”Can you leave me alone now?”

“...Alright.” Lake turned around, pretending not to notice her smile. “Take care!”

Funnily enough, the door opened just fine on their way out.

#writing #veilsmoke #I dunno what the fuck people would even think of this.

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cyncity2000 · 2 years ago

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ok slight tour spoiler ahead but: during one segment he asked us to pick a noise and an influencer. someone said ‘boink’ and he was like ‘somehow that still sounds sexual’ and then we got to influencer and he was like ‘oh my god did someone say PHIL??’ so the sentence ended up being something about a secret society called the boink run by phil lester

and THEN he fucking says (something like) ‘joke’s on you, me and phil have been in boink together from the START!!!’ and. dan. my dude. YOU were the one who said boink sounded sexual do you not realize what that Sounds Like 💀

#THIS ISNT ME BEING SHIPPY THIS IS JUST LITERALLY WHAT HE SAID #anyway it was really funny #we’re all doomed #dan howell #dan and phil #do i still have to tag this as phan. i suppose.#phan #wad spoilers

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ghoulish-art-tendencies · 1 month ago

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Thank u SO MUCH. for the tag mate, i love ur art so much <333

Have you always been interested in creating art? Yes! since i was a kid ive been drawing and creating art

What's your favourite medium to use? If digital, what programs do you like? I love traditional, but i mainly do digital right now and use procreate

Do you create outside of fandom? sometimes but not often

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting! this piece i kinda lost motivation for (and likr 4 other pieces), ive been struggling a lot with finishing pieces recently </3

Favourite piece you’ve made? definitely my most recent, its so pretty !!!

Draw your icon in a minute or less

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion? this piece took me like 14 hours but it got maybe 50 notes? i didnt expect much though since it is kind of niche (dnp x voltron)

Do you do art in a professional setting? no, but i want to eventually

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media: literally my first ever piece of phanart i had posted on tumblr and it got nearly 800 notes i actually hate it so much please stop reblogging😭

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarities? i still do fairly soft lineart..?

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? yes! i articipated in creating a dan and phil tarot deck with so many other phanartists

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised? quite a bit, it got popular enough to make it into a dnp video and it was really surprising to me since it was just supposed to be a silly sketch of a meme

Who/What is your favourite subject matter? Definitely dan and phil, but i also doodle my friend @frnkeatsmarbels in the margins of my paper quite a bit

Show us something not from fandom you've made: Reddie my love, i wish i had more people to talk about them with

Where do you like to create? my bed usually

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it: #ghoulish art

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces? no commissions but i do have an instagram (i dont post much though)

Insta: ghoulish.art.tendencies

tagging (no pressure) : @teddybassist @stardustedastronaut @ingydar-phan @verianal and any other of my art mutuals bc im too scared to tag u😭

ART TAG

I just want to see more art and creatives

Have you always been interested in creating art? Yes! I've been drawing for as long as I can remember

What's your favourite medium to use? If digital, what programs do you like? I really enjoy drawing traditionally, a lot of the time i sketch and then take a photo to finish it digitally on photoshop (that i pirated)

Do you create outside of fandom? Yes, I draw for myself a lot but I don't really share them

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting mickey eating vegemite toast which i sent to nosho and never posted here haha

Favourite piece you've made?

ive always liked my beer bottle and carton design

Draw your icon in a minute or less

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion

any of my stranger things fanart bc i dont have any stranger things mutuals <3

Do you do art in a professional setting? kinda? im a qualified graphic designer and im working on a logo for a boxing trainer now

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media

100% this one, dan posted it on his ig story and tagged me in it and used it as his header on twitter for a while too

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarites?

still doing outfit challenges, still adding a splash of colour in the bg, colour, details and adding waves to hair! also the shading is similar on the stomachs

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? yes!! ive done a dan and phil poster with other phan artists, a calendar that @pseudophan organised years ago (i still have it) and some cool one on one stuff with other artists in various fandoms <3

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?

this series, very surprised tbh currently at 12k+ notes

Who/What is your favourite subject matter?

People/characters i love, i just love drawing people i enjoy watching ya know

Show us something not from fandom you've made

a modernised take on shakespeares 'Taming of the Shrew', the badge is currently on my battle vest

Where do you like to create? in my bedroom at my desk, i feel inspired in my art corner

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it

'm does art' is my art tag!

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces?

commissions - unavailable but will open in a month or so instagram redbubble

tagging: @doshiart @gallapiech @spookygingerr @konaiiro

@michellemisfit @heymrspatel @vintagelacerosette @ghoulish-art-tendencies

@sgtmickeyslaughter @creepkinginc @kiennilove @burninface

@darlingian @suzy-queued

#love this #tag game #tag games #art #ghoulish art

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shinyfire-0 · 3 years ago

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I had no idea that some of the Phandom drama was trying to say such nasty things about you and as a not-super-active member in Phandom, I just wanted to say I’m so sorry that people feel the need to make such false accusations about you and others. You and your blog are wonderful💛

Thank you - you are really kind.

In all honesty, I have only been caught up with this because I am friends with people against whom direct and unfounded accusations of racism were made.

The people who have been most affected by all these things have been Asian Phans, who have been accused of Orientalism by a white man, and whose names have been placed on a ‘blacklist’ of supposed racists. Asian Phans are repeatedly spoken over and condescended to by this whie man as if his American-centric theoretical understanding of orientalism trumps their day to day lived experience of anti-Asian racism. Asian Phans can do nothing at all to get their names removed from the blacklist that @cefantomeenhabitnoir/@trans-flint/@transphandom promotes and keeps updated. Which is ironic, as he appears to have removed all his PoTO fics from AO3 - fics that contained Orientalist tropes and imagery. It’s one rule for him, and another for everyone else.

Simply blocking any of these accounts is enough to get a person on their blacklist; being tumblr mutuals with anyone on this list is enough to get you put on the list. This clearly makes the list pointless and meaningless and yet @cefantomeenhabitnoir expects people to treat it seriously as a kind of directory of Bad People To Avoid.

I have lost a lovely fandom friend (MadameFaust) who was bullied out of the fandom because of a fic she wrote over five years ago. Despite tagging the fic appropriately (she portrayed period-typical racism but there was absolutely never any sense that she agreed with the racism she portrayed or let alone gloried in it), removing the fic, deleting her tumblr and then removing all of her fics from AO3, this has still not been enough to get her name removed from the list. It is worthwhile noting that MadameFaust wrote fics that were primarily based around the Erik/Daroga pairing (pharoga). The person behind @phandombigotryarchive, and @cefantomeenhabitnoir also wrote pharoga fics.

To criticise the existence of a blacklist is not the same as denying the existence of racism in the fandom. And sadly the list has done nothing at all to remove the actual racists from the phandom - you might have seen the criticism of the West End’s production of POTO casting Lucy St Louis. These posts indicated that the bloggers don’t consider a Black woman should be cast as Christine. These thinly-veiled racist posts went largely unchallenged by the phandom, which is a huge problem in itself. But @phandombigotryarchive and @cefantomeenhabitnoir were nowhere to be seen, despite both claiming to be determined to remove racism from the phandom. Which makes me wonder whether their ‘anti’ campaigns were about stopping racism at all, or whether they were more about bullying a rival author from the phandom.

#racism in phandom #phantom of the opera #pharoga #poto #racism in fandom

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mariusroyale · 3 years ago

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i physically cannot read a fic with first person pov. the way i retch n gag at it.. like. no.

yknow what while we’re at it ill talk abt my list of fanfic icks (fanficks) i get. i used to tolerate this stuff freely in like 2015-16 (when i had no taste smh) now i have zero patience lmao

- shit grammar: i cannot. like i can’t read fics with poor grammar and punctuation, it immediately renders the story unreadable (some exceptions are if im desperate and it’s like the only fic in this v obscure tag n fandom).

- no spacing in paragraphs: SEPARATE UR PARAGRAPHS PEOPLEEEE. tiptop!!! if you create an entire block of text it’s now INCOMPREHENSIBLE and you’ve wasted ur time writing it bc who’s going to read that????

- this also goes for not spacing dialogue properly like this,

“What do you mean?” He tilts his head while asking. She answers absentmindedly, “Like this. Marius can’t read if it’s formatted like this cos it’s supposed to be a new line when it’s a new person speaking.” He pauses in thought, recognising how unappealing it looked. “Oh.”

i can’t bruh it’ll make me stop reading- I MEAN LOOK AT IT. sometimes it’s fucking impossible to tell who’s speaking when! PLS. if a new character is speaking!!! ADD A NEW PARAGRAPH

- if it’s just. Out of character- like shit characterisation: people pls, most characters have dimensions to them! give them better dialogue and actions for the love my ass, you know DAMN well this character would never do that shit in canon

- first person pov (had to talk abt this one again i can’t describe how much it makes me BLEH) like!!! it’s so!! very rarely can i ever enjoy a story written in first person anyway! i don’t care what you think?? lmao?? no human would ever write their daily routine

“I noticed my [insert hair colour] hair possessed a sheen today, which meant I hadn’t washed it in a while.” like? no!

even then if u wrote it like a normal human

“My hair was way too greasy this morning. It’d been awhile since I washed it.”

i still hate it- like if i want details, i want it from an omnipotent, otherworldly being that doesn’t exist outside of narrating

frankly idk why i chose that as an example but you know what i mean: having details is great in third person but so meh in first

- shitty pacing within a brief interaction

i no longer have the patience anymore dude. had i read this in 2015, when i didn’t read well written fics, you’d have me hooked but

i don’t want to read a fic that takes forever to get through and by this i mean: the way you write paragraphs and insert dialogue in between

if there’s an important scene happening, i want to see it. wanna feel it.

if i see a wall of text in between the dialogue which shows Character A’s thoughts im leaving

like you can tell the author kinda just forgot what their original point was and started waffling? like u know??

i once read a fic in 2015-16 (im so sorry it was phan) where the fucking chunks of texts between dialogues were literal PARAGRAPHS. by that point i had forgotten what they were saying cos it was just

“Hey… are you alright?”

A looked at B worriedly. B didn’t know what to say. A had a lot on their plate already. Maybe it was best to not say anything for now. (Like here? This is a good place to stop and continue what B would say. But author just kept going.) B knew how A would react, he wasn’t good with emotions. After all, A had never been truly open with his emotions with people, how could B expect him to do it with him, of all people? He faintly recalled the time he saw A quietly sniffle during a movie and asked if he was alright, only to be met with a brief dismissal. A wouldn’t understand. (AND IT WOULD BE A BIGGER PARAGRAPH THAN THIS!! AND THERE WOULD BE TWO MORE AFTER IT!)

“I-I’m okay.”

Neither of them missed the way B stuttered, but-

AND IT JUST KEPT FUCKING GOING. THIS INTERACTION IN REAL LIFE WOULD HAPPEN IN TEN SECONDS. CANT THIS INTROSPECTION HAPPEN AFTER??? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO KNOW EVERY DETAILED THOUGHT THAT HAPPENS IN THEIR HEAD IN THE TWO SECONDS THEY PAUSE TO THINK OF A RESPONSE???????

(to clarify, do this introspection in between dialogue, sure. but if you’re gonna make it huge and waffled and unnecessary stOPPP. MAKE IT SHORT. OR JUST PUT IT AFTER THEIR INTERACTION IDFK)

- when the summary has me at the edge of my seat and the first few words of the fic has me vomiting

like DAMMIT. you HAD ME

i was SO EXCITED for this premise it’s intriguing and i was gonna read and!!!

your grammar is shit!! DAMMIT

#getting all detaily in first person?? ew #text post #rant #beeg rant #fanfic dealbreakers #fanfic icks #fanficks #!

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iamvegorott · 4 years ago

Text

A New Life Ch 7

Anti-Party

“Yous look pissed,” Yancy commented when he came into the room after his workout, finding Illinois, face-down on the bed.

“Annoyed.” Illinois corrected with a muffled voice.

“They has punching bags in the gym if yous wanna beat it out,” Yancy suggested.

“I might do that.” Illinois chuckled and rolled over to his back. “I’m guessing the workout helped?”

“It was nice to do somethin’ familiar. I actually met-”

“You’re being the stick that’s up your ass.” Someone loudly laughed from outside the door.

“Requesting that you at least give a warning before appearing here doesn’t make me a stick.” Dark’s voice followed.

“I’m just here to see Wilford and JJ.”

“You’re here to annoy me, Anti.”

“Anti?” Illinois perked up and then he smirked.

“A Septiceye maybe? Or another-” Yancy stopped himself when Illinois rushed over to the door and opened it.

“Hello there~” Yancy heard the voice giggle and he made his way over as well, peeking out and seeing a green-haired, spikey ears and teeth, man standing next to Dark. “There’s two more?” The man turned to Dark and placed his hands on his hips. “You have two new people and you never told us?”

“I was letting them adjust first before throwing more at them,” Dark spoke with gritted teeth, clearly trying to keep his tone even.

“Are yous Anti?” Yancy asked.

“Oh, so they know of me but I don’t know of them?”

“We heard your name when Wilford and Dark were fighting.” Illinois had a cheerful smile as he spoke, lying like it was second nature. “It was something about comparing you two to Wilford and JJ.” Illinois saw the shift in Dark’s face and how Anti’s eyes went wide for a second. “Oh? Did I say too much?” Illinois poked a finger to his cheek and Yancy had to put a hand over his own mouth to stifle a laugh, catching on to what Illinois was doing.

“Wow.” Anti popped his lips and took out a phone. “Phan, get the booze and get the boys. We have some newbies.” Anti said before he was suddenly gone, a strange green fuzz left in the air where he had been.

“Great.” Dark rubbed his forehead. “Looks like we’ll be having company tonight.”

“Exciting.” Illinois continued his smile as Dark glared at him.

“I looks forward to it.” Yancy was smiling as well and Dark just grunted before walking between them and down the hall.

x~x~x

Yancy looked around the large room, seeing the circular counter in the middle with lines and lines of bottles of alcohol on it. A little ‘stage’ on the very far right and a collection of chairs surrounding it. Music blared from speakers on the ceilings and lights of different colors flashed to the beat. Yancy glanced down at the red cup in his hand, the bright pink drink telling him to have more.

“This is not what I was expecting.” Illinois’ voice grounded Yancy back to the present. “I mean, with how stiff so many of them are, I’m shocked they have this room.”

“I’m thinking some of the Septiceyes are the reason.” Yancy gestured towards when Wilford was with JJ and Edward was with one of the other green-haired strangers. They haven’t been able to formally meet the others yet, all of them too distracted by the idea of a party.

“And I’m thinking Anti’s the reason why Dark’s allowed it.” Illinois grinned and sipped from his own drink as he watched Dark leaning against the circular counter and Anti was sitting on it next to him, a big smirk on his face as he spoke.

“He doesn’t trust them but lets them make a party room?” Yancy shook his head and took another drink.

“Love is complicated~” Illinois sang, looking down at his own drink when he said that. Wilford must have made him something a lot stronger than he was expecting. “We should go say hi to the strangers. We might as well at least get names.” Illinois took a few steps towards a trio that was talking to each other, two of them looking very similar and the third being drastically different from everyone else.

“Baby steps,” Yancy said to himself and took yet another drink, needing a refill soon.

“You must be the newbies.” One of the three greeted. “And you’re both pretty hot.” He added with a chuckle.

“That’s the most forward you’ve been.” The one that looked just like him commented.

“I can be much more forward.”

“Please, don’t.” The third one sighed.

“Illinois.” Illinois flashed a smile.

“Phantom.” The first one smiled back and glanced over at the third one, his smile dropping when he shook his head. “Really?” Phantom huffed. “Why is everyone partnered off?”

“What?” Yancy asked. “Did we miss somethin?” Yancy was ignored as Phantom looked out into the crowd. “Wait...not everyone is partnered off.” Phantom giggled after laying his eyes on a new green-haired stranger. “Real quick, what’s your name?” Phantom pointed at Yancy.

“Uh...Yancy.”

“Cool. Nice to meet ya. I’m going to go play.” Phantom winked before heading out, going right up to the man he saw. He went in front of him and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him in close and swaying to the music.

“I don’t think we were meant to see that,” Yancy said.

“We were.” The second one said. “My name’s Mare,” He added as Phantom looked over at them and perked up a lot when the third one nodded his head this time. Phantom grabbed the stranger’s face and pulled him into a kiss.

“Now I’m sure we weren’t supposed to see that.” Yancy turned away and used a hand to shield his eyes.

“Mad was supposed to, at least,” Mare said. “He just adores being Phantom’s ‘hook-up radar’.”

“No, I don’t.” The third one, Mad, grumbled.

“Care to catch us up on what’s happening?” Illinois asked.

“To put it in the easiest terms to understand, I feel emotions,” Mad said. “And by that I mean I know what others are feeling. Phantom was checking to see if there was any sense of attraction or arousal when you spoke to him.”

“So that means the other guy did.” Illinois hummed, looking at Phantom again and seeing that the one he’s gone up to was bright red in the face.

“Jackie,” Mad said. “He’s got super strength and speed.”

“He’s a good guy,” Mare added. “Or at least, he better be to Phantom or...well…” Mare let that trail off.

“What about yous?” Yancy asked. “If he feels feelings and Jackie’s Superman, what yous and Phantom got?”

“How much do you know about Dark? Power-wise?” Mare asked.

“Not much,” Illinois said.

“Well, the more you learn about him the more you’ll learn about me and my brother,” Mare said.

“Brother.” Illinois hummed, understanding Mare’s previous comment about Jackie.

“Could yous be vaguer?” Yancy scoffed.

“I think he’d have to not-” Mad stopped when Mare placed a hand on the center of his back.

“Phantom said partnered off, what did he mean by that?” Illinois asked, changing the subject.

“Most of us are in a relationship,” Mare said, sipping from his own cup.

“Who?”

“Here’s the tea.” Mad saying that made Mare choke on his drink. “What? Did I say it wrong?”

“No, no, I just-” Mare coughed into the crook of his arm. “I wasn’t ready for you to say that.”

“Phantom said that it means ‘here’s the information’ and it’s commonly associated with gossip and relationship talk is usually gossip,” Mad spoke quickly.

“You’re right, you’re right.” Mare chuckled. “Now, for the pairs. We got-” Mare pointed as he spoke. “The doctors, Edward and Henrik.” Edward was leaning against the one named Henrik and they were both flushed in the face and laughing. “The ‘droids, Bing and Google.” Bing was singing along to the music and dancing with Google. Google, on the other hand, has earplugs in but still looked happy. “The ‘staches, Wilford and JJ.” Wilford had JJ in his arms and in the air as he spun around. “The parents, Chase and Marvin.” The two, Chase and Marvin, were getting handsy with each other on the ‘dance floor’. “Then there’s the undecided, Anti and Dark.”

“They’re not together and from what I’ve been hearing, Dark’s fighting it,” Illinois said.

“Oh yeah, big time.” Mare handed Mad his cup and Mad drank from it, finishing it off. “But if they keep up their drinking, they’re in for a night.” Mare moved his arm so it was wrapped around Mad’s waist. “And it looks like most of us are in for a fun night.”

“Mare.” Mad lightly slapped at Mare’s chest but suddenly went stiff and looked at Yancy and Illinois, brows scrunching in confusion.

“I’m guessing you and Mad are one of the couples as well?” Illinois asked, not noticing Mad’s facial expression. “Any fancy nickname?”

“Can’t give yourself a nickname, you’ll have to ask one of the others,” Mare said.

“There you are!” A young woman rushed over to Yancy and Illinois with a young man at her side. “We finally get to meet you, I’m Yandere.” She stuck her hand out and was bouncing. “Oh! And this is Bim.”

“Hello.” Bim awkwardly waved.

“The teens,” Mare said.

“Phantom wasn’t joking when he said everyone was partnered off.” Illinois chuckled. “Pleasure to meet you.” Illinois’ took Yandere’s offered hand and shook it.

“You must be Illinois,” Bim stated. “Dark’s report said you were the more talkative one.”

“Yous saying I don’t talk?” Yancy asked, crossing his arms.

“No, no, no!” Bim squeaked and moved away from Yancy. “I was-I was just going off of-I-I-”

“Aw, you scared the poor guy.” Illinois’ laugh got Yancy to as well and uncross his arms.

“That part of the report was right too.” Yandere said to Bim, voice softer but still overheard.

“What part?” Illinois asked.

“Oh! I love this song! Bye!” Yandere grabbed Bim’s hand and the two took off.

“I’m gonna start bashing heads together if no one gives us a straight answer.” Yancy groaned.

“Nothing straight to be had here~” Mare sang.

“Looks like we’re not going to get anything else tonight,” Illinois said. “Let’s go have some fun, Yanc.” Illinois looped his arm through Yancy’s.

“How much?” Yancy let himself be lead away.

“Let’s forget this night.”

“Mare.” Mad watched as the two went off.

“Something’s off, isn’t it?” Mare asked, trying to take a drink and pouting when he found it empty.

“I need to study them.”

“I’ll let Dark know.”

-------------

Tag List: (let me know if you want added) @rainymae523 @m0th-goo @windymischeif @voonespelle @ashywasteland93 @robot-intestines @regalrain02 @madallice329 @sophiefrye22 @voe-isnotokay @hakuna-matata-666-13

#yanois #a new life #a lifetime #and here we see the other boys

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i-was-bored-so-this-happened · 5 years ago

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O - Primeval/Doctor Who

I’m very sleepy and slow today, so this might not be very good, but I just....O and Connor...I just want to write it, I love it I have also made the horrible decision that anything I write for Connor & O will have a title that is a word that begins with O Tagging @nowhere-dawn-death-phan cause we’ve talked about this idea

************************

O Is For Onset

Onset - A beginning or start

Connor Temple sits alone in his lab, goggles on and music blaring. Despite Lester and the Minister’s efforts to make a clean, white, modern building, Connor has ruined that in his lab. Lester tends to put the word in air quotes, more considering it a place where Connor dumps every cog, wire, spanner and nutty theory he can find. Lester refuses to step foot in the lab. He has no idea how Connor managed to sneak the x-box in.

“Connor.” Jenny Lewis tries. She’s standing at the top of the stairs with the newest ARC recruit. “Connor!” she calls again. “Oh, for god’s sake.” she mutters before starting down the stairs. The new recruit stays still on the landing, mouth open in an o as Jenny picks her way through the cluttered floor to pull Connor’s headphones off. “Connor, your assistant is here.”

“Huh?”

“Remember you demanded to have an assistant and Lester actually agreed? And then you forgot about the whole thing and drew Kermit the Frog on the list of names I gave you?”

“That was a list of candidates?”

“Yes, Connor.” Jenny sighs.

“Ah. Whoops?” Connor says apologetically, and Jenny swats at his shoulder. She turns and gestures towards the stairs Connor’s ‘assistant’ has just started to make his way down.

“Connor, this is O. He’s been transferred from MI6.”

“MI6? You a spy then?” Connor asks excitedly.

“Uh, no…no, I was an analyst. I never did any field work.” O says, and he sounds apologetic.

“That’ll change now you’re here, though. You any good at Guitar Hero? It’s just that-” Connor’s cut off when Jenny hits him again.

“Connor. Professional, please.” she mutters, pushing his shoulder to tell him to stand up.

“Oh, right.” Connor mumbles, standing up and moving forwards to shake O’s hand. “I’m Connor Temple, I’ll be kinda like your supervisor.”

“Goggles.” Jenny coughs, and Connor moves said goggles from over his eyes to the top of his head, continuing without pausing for breath,

“I do most of the research into anomalies and I invented that nifty little thing out there that detects them. I am also part of the main field team, and I’m the best shot here.” he pauses to look to Jenny, “Did I get it all?”

“A bit of exaggeration, but yes, that’s basically what Connor is. Don’t worry, you’re not expected to go into the field.”

“Well-”

“No, Connor.”

“I’m not worried.” O smiles. Jenny smiles back.

“Alright. I have to go and make sure Cutter and Stephen had their lunch, if Connor gets too much for you, just call.” she’s gone quicker than O had expected, more agile in high heels than he’d thought.

“Why did you transfer from MI6?” Connor asks, already sliding his goggles back on and moving back towards his newest project. He turns his head and waves a hand, “You can put your stuff down wherever.”

“They didn’t want me there anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I tend to research things I’m not supposed to…it’s how I found you, and the ARC.” O’s not quite sure what to look at. There’s so much…stuff. And there’s Connor. He’s so different to the rest of the people O has seen so far.

“Alright. Doesn’t seem like too much of a problem-”

“And aliens and monsters. The monster route was how I found this. They all thought I was a nutter. Especially after the Loch Ness Monster.”

“Loch Ness Monster’s real.” Connor says confidently, holding up a hand.

“Yeah, it was, but it died years ago. Well, one we knew about died.” O says the last part in a mutter, just as Connor turns around.

“I told Cutter that!”

“And he didn’t believe you?”

“Cutter likes having concrete evidence in front of him. Or figuring it out ‘imself.” Connor explains. “Have you met him yet?”

“No, actually, I haven’t.” O tells him, shaking his head a little. Connor grins.

“Let’s go up to the break room then.”

#mywriting #primeval/doctorwho #connor/o #connor temple #dhawan!master

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erindoodless · 5 years ago

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a magical kind of love

CHAPTER 1: A NEW BEGINNING FOR DANIEL HOWELL

author’s note: sorry for taking so long to write this! school is very tiring. i hope to post at least every sunday! let me know if you would like to be on my tag list so you will be notified of future chapters and works.

summary: dan gets accepted into hogwarts and meets a new friend on the hogwarts express.

type: modern phan hogwarts au

wc: 2.3k

honorable mention: to my beta readers for their amazing editing skills and being able to read it very last minute @violetofthesea @some-angelic-flowers @hermit-with-friendz

read on ao3 or continue reading below!

As Dan walked through the train station, he felt nervous butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He never liked normal school so the last place he wanted to go was Hogwarts. The idea of being among loads of obnoxious, magical people his own age stressed him out. All he wanted to do was stay home and go on the internet for the rest of his life because it was the only place he could be himself.

While he strolled into the station, it started to rain. Dan didn’t like the rain very much, so he sped to the entrance of the building. This made him believe that going to a wizardly school was such a terrible idea that the sky started to cry. In reality, it was raining to represent a new phase in his life. A brand new beginning for him.

When Dan first got his letter, both he and his parents were very confused. Although neither of his parents are Muggles, and he had exhibited magic before, he lacked any passion for it. They were sure that Dan wouldn’t get accepted for that reason, but his letter came anyway, and their attitudes changed. They were very excited for the first time in a long time for their son. Even though he didn’t want to leave his bedroom, Dan felt pressured by them to go. His bedroom was the only place he found peace. Yet, despite all his complaints, his irritating parents still made him go.

Dan’s mother took him along to the station on the day he was sent to Hogwarts. Similar to him, his mother had mouse-brown hair and dark brown eyes. Dan imagined that he used to have a more trustworthy relationship with his mother. Unfortunately, that was lost as soon as both of his parents shared their opinions about certain topics that he disagreed with. For being just 11 years old, Dan was intelligent for his age because he was able to form opinionated thoughts about controversial ideas due to his free access to the internet. They walked along with the platform. Dan still felt upset about the whole situation while he pushed his loud trolley. He was glad that his parents let him bring his dog Colin along so he could have some sort of friend. He was happy that Hogwarts updated their policies to allow dogs.

“Oh, don’t look so miserable Daniel. This is an opportunity that most children don’t get! You should feel lucky,” his mother said to him with a disappointing look on her soft face. The only thing that brought Dan ease from his mother is her tendency to feel empathetic for him. But in this circumstance, he didn’t feel any love at all and his mother was just disappointing him. “I’m sure you will meet loads of new friends.”

Dan let out a heavy sigh. He never had good friends at his primary school so he wasn’t sure why his mother believed that Hogwarts would be any different. The one time he had a friend was in his 4th year of primary school. His 8-year-old self tried to kiss him after they had a conversation about kissing, but the boy ran off before anything could happen. He never heard from him again.

As Dan was thinking about his time at primary school and walking through the station, his mother suddenly stopped in front of a pillar while Dan is lost in thoughts about primary school. “You’re supposed to run into the pillar. Didn’t you read the letter at all? The train is at platform 9 and ¾,” his mother asked, annoyed at Dan’s disinterest obvious in her voice.

“No? Why would I read a letter about a place I don’t want to go to? And why do they make you go to a platform that doesn’t exist?” Dan replied, not bothering to hide his misery. “And I’ll probably regret going even though you all think I’ll feel guilty about not going.”

This was a drastic moment when Dan’s awful life was changed forever. Without listening to his mother’s response, he just ran into the stone pole with his trolley and Colin yelped.

And there he was. He was standing right in front of the Hogwarts Express with loads of other wide-eyed children and their supportive families. Since it was 10:55 am, and the train was due to leave at 11 am, he decided to just get on the enchanted train so he could avoid his crazy mother as much as possible.

Fortunately for him, he was able to find a seat in an empty compartment. He sat down with a sigh of relief. The compartment consisted of 4 seats, 2 shelves to put up luggage, and a giant window. The luxurious seats were so squishy that one could easily sink into them.

The brown-eyed boy set his stuff down and let his dog out of that horrid cage. He was fully against putting Colin in a cage because he knew he was perfectly capable of walking to the station, but Dan’s mother and father said he would have to put the dog in a cage or leave him at home. Since he found comfort in Colin, he chose to put him into the confinement even though it made him feel very guilty. When the small dog came out, he did a long stretch and laid down on the comfy seat. Dan began petting him lovingly.

He came prepared for the 9-hour train ride to Scotland with his tablet, earbuds, and downloaded the whole season of Yuri On Ice!!! ‘It took 4 hours to download the episodes so this better be worth it’, Dan thought to himself. Thankfully, he also remembered to bring his portable charger in case his tablet battery got too low.

Just as he was about to start the first episode, he heard a soft knock on the door. Startled, he looked up to see a pale-skinned boy with bright blue eyes and bright ginger hair in the slightly opened doorway. Dan was not expecting to have any visitors so this was quite a surprise for him.

“Do you mind if I sit with you? Everywhere else is full,” the pale boy stammered out. He had a strong Northern accent and seemed very shy. Dan hesitantly nodded and the boy quickly sat down.

Dan avoided eye contact with the boy as long as he could and took a few glimpses at him while he was looking out the window. He had lots of colors in his eyes. His soft, orange hair was styled in a quiff. And damn, he was pretty. Even though he was just 11, Dan knew that he found boys nicer to look at than girls. This was another part of him that he had never told anyone in fear of rejection besides, of course, the one friend he tried to kiss. Thankfully, his old friend was somewhat a good person and never told anyone about what happened, even if he made a point of not talking to Dan after. The other parts included his Tumblr URL and his love for anime.

A few minutes later, Dan felt light taps on his shoulder. He looked up and saw that the boy was trying to speak to him. He paused his anime and took an earbud out to listen to what he had to say. “Hey, uh… My name is Phil Lester. What’s yours?” The boy, now known as ‘Phil’, questioned, somewhat awkwardly, his face turning even more red than his hair. He had a high pitched voice, though that might’ve just been nerves. Dan thought it was cute.

“Dan,” was all he said while not looking at Phil in the face. He returned to his anime because he knew he would start crushing hard if they began to have a conversation.

In the next hour or so, Dan noticed Phil eyeing Colin while the dog stared right back at him. Dan took his earbud out again and said, “You can pet him if you want.” Phil looked up at Dan surprised while the brown-eyed boy still wasn’t looking at him in the eye. The pale boy timidly placed his small hand on Colin’s head and began gently stroking him. Dan had never seen someone stroke an animal so delicately in his whole 11 years of being alive. The dog was having the time of his life as Phil began petting his belly.

“Wow, he really likes you,” Dan said out of confusion. He was shocked because it usually takes a while for Colin to trust people.

“Well, I guess I do have a way with animals,” Phil replied with a small smile on his face. “I live on a farm with my parents filled with lots of unique creatures. Maybe if I get to know you better, I can bring you home one time! We have thestrals, house cats, thunderbirds, and loads more. My favorite would have to be my own thestral, Henry,” he babbled on. Dan was distracted by when Phil said he could take him home. Does that mean someone finally wanted to befriend Dan?

“Did you bring a pet with you?” asked Dan. He was curious because he was the other way around where his parents never told him much about the magical world. Since they assumed he would never get into Hogwarts, he didn’t have an opportunity to learn much about special creatures.

“Yes! I have my lovely pygmy puff. She’s a bit on the crazy side, especially since a dog is here, so I’m going to leave her in her cage for now. I’ll show you her another time,” Phil smiled while looking at the small cage.

“Anyway, what are you watching on the screen thing? I’ve been curious about it the whole train ride,” the pale boy questioned. Dan wondered why the boy was suddenly being so talkative after sitting for an hour and not doing or saying anything. “Is that Muggle technology? My parents would never let me have technology.”

Dan was astonished to hear this. “You mean you’ve never watched anime, been on Tumblr, read fanfiction…?” Phil shook his head and had a puzzled look on his face. “Alright then. Come over here and we can watch this anime together.”

Phil blushed a bit again and went across to sit next to Dan. He was more fascinated by Dan’s tablet than anything else. He had never seen a piece of technology in this life besides the few times his parents took him out in public. Colin laid between the two boys while the blue-eyed boy was delightfully petting him again. “So, what exactly is an anime?” Phil inquired. Dan was even more shocked to hear this.

“Japanese cartoon. I need to show you everything now,” Dan responded. Phil let out a squeaky giggle and it made Dan’s checks turn deep red because of how angelic it sounded. “This one I download for the train is Yuri On Ice!!! It’s a competitive figure skating anime and it’s super gay.” That was another word Dan had learned from the internet. He had discovered all the different sexualities.

Phil looked even more excited now because if it’s a cheerful story, then it must be a great story. His parents had told him very little about the Muggle world and they didn’t want him to be involved with technology. All they wanted was their little boy to be a happy farmer. He spent the majority of his childhood reading educational magic books on the different creatures and plants on his family’s farm. He remembers reading the word ‘gay’ in one of his books and it was used to describe pure bliss.

“Oh, I love happy stories,” Phil stated with a small grin.

“I mean, this story has some sad bits. What makes you assume it’s a happy story?” Dan asked in a perplexed voice.

“Because it’s gay.”

Dan burst out laughing. “You know what, nevermind. You’ll learn eventually.” This made Phil even more bewildered than ever, but he just went along with it. Dan gave Phil one of his earbuds and showed him where to put it because he was originally trying to put it in his nostrils. Then they finally began watching. It turned out to be very depressing at the beginning. In Phil’s opinion, it wasn’t very gay. However, throughout the 22 minutes, it became quite funny with all the characters’ dramatic reactions.

After watching the first episode, Dan took out his earbud, and Phil did the same. “So, what did you think?” Dan asked in curiosity.

“I thought it was not happy at all. But I like the characters. And the theme song was good,” Phil responded, still unsure of the whole anime thing. They continued to watch the remaining episodes. Phil began obsessing over Yuri because of their similar love for dogs.

About 5 hours had gone by when they finally finished the anime. They had mini discussions between each episode so it took much longer than Dan expected. They still had 3 hours left on the train. The boys were struggling to think of something they could do or talk about because they didn’t want to be bored out of their minds.

While Dan was thinking of what they could do next, he felt something lay onto his shoulder. He looked over at Phil and realized he had fallen asleep with his head on Dan’s shoulder. Dan let out a sigh and accepted that he wouldn’t be able to move for a long time. He was feeling pretty tired as well so he rested his head against the back of the seat and closed his eyes.

He slowly fell asleep, happy that he possibly made a new friend.

authors note: please reblog and like if you enjoyed reading! again, let me know if you want on to be the tag list!

#erin writes #phan #dan and phil #daniel howell #amazingphil #dan howell #phil lester #danisnotonfire #phanfiction #phanfic #phanfics #fic #fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic #fanfics #dan

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walkinthemists · 5 years ago

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Night of Friendship Part 1

A quiet night in Stormwind, thats what the young paladin got to experience as she followed her higher ups through the Cathedral area, planting herself alongside Lord Bennas in front of the Church. It appears she was going to have a quiet, peaceful evening with no need to draw a weapon or to strike down some cocky-ass bitch. There was a young woman standing near her, just gazing around, looking at her, the Cathedral, and anywhere else.

Phantine took notice and flashed a small smile, “Good evening miss”, she spoke in a soft tone, as there was no need to yell to someone who was about six feet from you.

“Evenin’. ‘how’s y’night treatin’ you? Everythin’ looks quiet tonight.” The young woman responded back in a gentle voice.

“Its slow... so slow tonight.”

“That’s the way its be f’all o’us right?”

“Well I suppose so. What brings ya around here tonight?” she’d inquire, obviously intrigued by this young woman.

“Just passin’ through. Saw y’folks always out ‘ere lookin’ over the Cathedral square, wanted t’pause and pay m’respects, no more no less.”

“I believe I’ve seen you around before. What’s your name if I may inquire?”

“Alyssa Ward miss, and ‘o am I addressin’ this evenin’?”

“Lady Phantine Weatherlight, at your service.”

“Pleasure then Lady Weatherlight. Don’t let me take up too much o’your time. M’sure y’lot ‘have important business ‘here.”

Truthfully the only important business here was just standing in attention and enjoying the nice times while they lasted. As far as she knew, she was off duty and wanted to go out and do something. Phan took a soft breath before her gaze met Alyssa’s once more to ask a question.

“Do you wanna grab a quick drink with me?”

An incline of Miss Ward’s head indicated she was down with the idea of having a drink. “Sounds like an alright plan. There should be a few places still open this time of night.”

“Lead the way then”

Tagged for relevance! ( @theodorebennas @alyssa-ward )

#phantine weatherlight #wow rp #wra #character progression #story arc

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imnotinclinedtomaturity · 6 years ago

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I’ll stop the world and melt with you

title: I’ll stop the world and melt with you summary: Dan and Phil have been on their second world tour for just over a month and it’s been wonderful so far. They finally have a free day, and Dan only wants to spend time in their hotel room with Phil. Phil, on the other hand, is determined to help Dan experience Amsterdam right. words: 5.2k rating: e tags: marijuana, explicit sex, rimming, 69, public sex, amsterphan, ii tour, high!phan a/n: endless thanks to @auroraphilealis for spontaneous reblogging my post about high!phan and encouraging me to write this and editing on pretty short notice so that i could post this for the @phandomficfests tour thing. you’re the best boo <3

The early morning light streams in through the opened hotel curtains, pulling Dan out of his slumber more than he would like. They’d gotten in late last night, and they must not have bothered to draw the curtains closed. As the light shines in Dan eyes, he regrets that. More than anything, he just wants to roll over and go back to sleep.

Which is ridiculous. They are in a new city together and Dan knows that he should be excited to have a completely free day in a new city, especially so close to the beginning of the tour when they both still have so much energy. And they are in Amsterdam of all places — a city that he, in particular, would have died to be able to come to ten years ago.

But this isn’t ten years ago. Dan isn’t seventeen anymore. He isn’t a carefree, reckless young teenager who spends most of his weekends (and weekdays, in all honesty) getting high. Now, Dan is a nearly twenty-seven year old man in a very committed relationship with the most perfect man in the world. His wants, his needs, his goals have all changed over the years.

Twenty-Seven Year Old Dan isn’t desperate to spend his free day in Amsterdam wandering from various coffee shop to coffee shop, indulging in the liberal attitude towards marijuana. Twenty-Seven Year Old Dan isn’t even desperate to soberly see the city today. The city may be beautiful, but it will still be here this evening, and tomorrow, and the rest of their lives for that matter.

Today, Twenty-Seven Year Old Dan hopes to spend the entire day locked in a hotel room with Thirty-One Year Old Phil Lester. Dan doesn’t even have anything specific in mind for today, other than the fact that he misses spending time with his boyfriend, and wants to indulge in quality time with him. Which might be ridiculous, considering that they’ve been together nonstop for the full month of touring thus far.

It’s not the same, when other people are around.

Dan has no requirements for today other than he wants to see Phil and only Phil.

The small cobblestone alley that Dan can see from the window is quaint and beautiful, but right now, there is a sight Dan would much rather be taking in. Dan tears his eyes away from the view and rolls over, wanting to rouse Phil from his sleep with a good morning kiss.

Except, Phil’s not there.

The other half of the bed, the place where Phil is supposed to be, is empty. The covers are rucked back, the pillow dented from his head, but no Phil.

For a moment, Dan tries to focus his ears, listening for the pitter-patter of the shower, or maybe even the soft humming of Phil singing in the bath, but all he can hear is the sounds of city life echoing up the narrow walls of the alley that their hotel room faces.

Dan forces himself to get up a little, balancing himself on his elbows so that can grab his phone and text Phil. It’s where he left it last night, plugged in on the bedside table, but it’s wrapped in a crinkled piece of hotel stationary. Dan smiles; it’s a classic Phil move.

Without any real care for his phone, Dan tugs the paper free. The iphone tumbles to the ground, but Dan can’t be arsed to care about that right now.

amsterDAMN our coffee machine doesn’t work! I ran out to buy some, I’ll be back within the hour xx

There’s no way of knowing when Phil left the note, but according to the alarm clock, it’s only seven in the morning, so Dan feels justified in letting himself dive back into the blankets and ignore the world.

He must have fallen back asleep, because when Dan wakes up next, it is to slightly brighter sunlight and a warm weight on his upper body.

Dan cracks his eyes open to find Phil straddling his waist, a cup of coffee clenched in his hands. Out of habit, Dan pulls his arms from under the duvet and runs his hands up Phil’s bare legs — he must have already shed his jeans.

“Morning,” Dan drawls out, trailing his eyes down from Phil’s face, and taking in his long form. “You’re up early,” Dan mumbles.

“Jetlag,” Phil answers simply.

Dan screws up his face, trying to remember where they were yesterday. He can’t quite remember right now, but he knows that it’s even earlier there than it is here. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how jetlag works, babe.”

“Hmm,” Phil murmurs. He sets his coffee down on the table, and leans forward to capture Dan’s lips with his. “It must be just adrenaline, then,” he whispers when he pulls back a fraction of a centimeter.

Dan lets his fingers wander higher up Phil’s legs, dipping them beneath the hem of his pants. “Maybe you can find a different use for that adrenaline, hmm?”

“I like the sound of that,” Phil murmured, kissing Dan’s lips again. Dan’s eyes drift close, still heavy with sleep. Laying in bed, slowly making out with his boyfriend, and listening to the early morning sounds of a foreign city feels heavenly. Dan has no idea how he got this lucky. He had worried that constantly traveling to new places with Phil would grown mundane somewhere around Kansas City during their first worldwide tour, but it hasn’t. Each city, each adventure brings him closer to Phil.

Dan slips one of his hands from Phil’s pants and wraps it around the back of Phil’s neck, pulling him down more firmly. Phil kisses back hungrily, his hips rocking gently against Dan’s — Phil must have a similar idea for how they could spend their morning.

Without breaking their kiss, Dan slides his hand further up Phil’s pants, coming to rest on his arse. Phil sighs, blindly setting his coffee down on the table. Dan pulls back from their kiss, just a hair. “I was annoyed when I woke up and you were gone this morning, but this has turned into a wonderful wake up call.”

Phil laughs against Dan’s lips, a deep giggle that reverberates through Dan’s body. “I brought you a present, Danny.”

“What’s that?” Dan asks, his fingers drifting around Phil’s hip, inching towards his cock.

Against Dan’s wishes, Phil raises up his knees a bit, his weight lifting off of Dan. Dan is too focused on the way the hem of Phil’s shirt is falling away from his stomach to be concerned about what Phil is doing. It isn’t until a green paper bag is dropped on Dan’s chest that he realizes that Phil was probably getting something off the nightstand.

Dan pushes himself up, just a little bit, resting his shoulders against the headboard. He picks the bag up off his chest, inspecting it. There’s no shop logo, and it’s made out of smooth, wax-coated paper.

“What’s this?” Dan asks warily — and rightfully so.

Over the years, Phil has made numerous sketchy purchasing choices, especially under the guise of souvenir shopping. So when Phil merely shrugs, silently urging Dan to see for himself, Dan hesitantly opens the bag, not sure what he should be prepared for.

The first thing he notices is that it smells amazing — it’s a smell he knows well, too, but it’s also better than any version he’s ever smelt before.

“Philip Michael Lester!” Dan chides playfully, a wide, gleeful smile on his face. “What would Kath say?”

“Nothing,” Phil answers simply. “Because if you ever tell her, I’m divorcing you.”

Dan laughs loudly, freely. “You have to marry me first, you buffoon.”

“Fine. I’ll marry you,” Phil shrugs. “And then I’ll divorce you.”

“I love you, you idiot.” Dan drags Phil down, pushing himself up some, meeting him halfway for another chaste kiss. “Where the hell did you get weed at—” he glances at the clock “—eight in the morning?”

“They sell it in the coffee shops here!” Phil squeals, boyish giddiness in his voice.

“We’re in Amsterdam, Phil,” Dan laughs back, honestly amazed at how surprised Phil seemed to be.

“Exactly.” Phil smirks, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I thought you might want to do Amsterdam right.”

Dan sits up properly, kissing Phil firmly. “God, Philip Lester, have I ever told you how much I love you?” Dan murmurs against Phil’s lips.

Marijuana has never been Phil’s thing — he’d done it a few times back in uni, never disliking it, but never liking it enough to seek it out on his own. But Dan. Dan.

Dan had grown up smoking. It was a vice he’d mostly given up by the time he’d moved to Manchester — he didn’t find himself needing its relaxing effects nearly as often once he had Phil around full time. But it’s an old friend that he returned to every now and again, sometimes with Phil, sometimes without.

And now that it’s in front of him again, especially since it smells like such good quality, Dan is eager to indulge, to indulge right now — and today, he very much wants Phil to indulge with him.

Dan gently pushes Phil off his waist, who goes willingly, and grabs his own laptop from the nightstand so that he has a solid, flat work surface. The laptop is a bit small to be doing this on, but Dan’s made do with smaller and less stable before, and he’s not keen on forcing himself out of bed if he doesn’t have to.

Practiced fingers pluck out a paper, fold a crutch, pack the joint, roll it up…

Dan can feel Phil’s eyes following his movements. Over the years, Phil must have seen him do this a few dozen times, but Phil is still convinced that it’s somehow difficult, that it’s an art form.

Which, well, maybe it is. Dan’s smoked enough bad joints in his life to know that it’s definitely possible to fuck up even good quality weed.

Warm lips tickle the side of Dan’s neck, distracting him slightly from his work. “I don’t know what your plans for that are, Bear,” Phil whispers in his ear, “But we can’t smoke it in here.”

“What do you mean?” Dan whips his head to the side to look at Phil, speaking at full volume for the first time all morning.

“The hotel has a strict no smoking indoors policy, remember?”

Fuck. The last thing Dan wanted to do was put on enough clothing to go down into the alley to smoke, and he’d rather not get into trouble with management — neither the hotel’s or theirs.

Dan’s eyes flit over to window, eyeing the balcony where they’d lingered briefly the night before, shyly kissing under the dark cover of night as they took in the foreign lights of the city. The balcony is technically not indoors, and if they close they close the door, surely no smoke would get inside. And it was early enough, and the alleyway was deserted enough, that they would probably be fine wearing only their pants out there.

Dan carefully seals the joint before pushing himself out of bed, offering his hand to Phil. “Come on, we can smoke on the balcony.”

“Now?” Phil asks, humor evident in his voice.

“Yes, now.” Dan chuckles back, pulling on Phil’s hand forcefully enough that their torsos collide softly. Dan leaned forward, ghosting his lips across Phil’s, not quite kissing. “You bought it so I could do Amsterdam right, and now we are going to do Amsterdam right.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Phil mutters against Dan’s before pressing more firmly, properly kissing him.

Dan lets himself get lost in the kiss for moment, parting Phil’s lips with his tongue, slipping inside and tickling the roof of his mouth, just like he knows Phil loves. Dan kisses until a small moan from Phil pulls Dan back to reality. He’s on a mission — kissing Phil can wait just a few minutes. Leaning back, Dan tugs on Phil’s hand lightly, leading him to the balcony, swiping the box of hotel matches off the desk on the way. They aren’t ideal, but they’ll do. Dan isn’t willing to give up his relaxed morning with Phil so that he can find a more controlled, stable flame source. Matches will have to suffice.

Dan settles against the balcony railing, resting his back against the high stone barrier. He lets go of Phil’s hand and steadies the joint in his lips, allowing him the freedom to use both of his hands. He strikes a match, holding it to the end of joint. It takes a few matches, but he manages to light the joint nice and evenly. Dan turns around, peering down the end of the alley to appreciate the view of the city. With a deep breath, Dan takes the first hit and —

Fuck.

It’s glorious. It’s easily the best weed Dan’s ever had, and he’s shelled out for some really high quality stuff over the years. From behind, Phil wraps his arms around Dan.

“Good?” Phil hums in his ear, lightly nipping at his lobe.

In lieu of an answer, Dan takes another hit. “You never cease to amaze me, Phil Lester,” he says on his exhale. He offers the joint to Phil. “You’re turn.”

“Can you help me?” Phil asks coyly, a contrived innocence in his voice. “I’m not very good at this.”

It’s bullshit and Dan sees right through it. Sure, Phil is nowhere near as experienced with weed as Dan is, but the man isn’t a stranger to smoking a joint, either. But Dan knows what Phil wants, and it isn’t a lesson on how to smoke.

“Switch me,” Dan murmurs. Phil is releasing Dan and stepping to the side before the words are all the way out of Dan’s mouth. Dan moves backwards, making room for Phil in front of him. When Phil is positioned in front of him, Dan crowds in closer, pinning Phil tightly between his chest and the railing. Dan rests his right hand in front of Phil, pressing his hips lightly against Phil’s arse. “Ready, babe?”

Phil hums, sounding satisfied with the new position. “I am now. Gimme.” Dan brings the joint up to Phil’s mouth for him. Phil leans forward, taking a long drag off the joint, leaning his head back onto Dan’s shoulder when he’s done. The smoke tickles Dan’s ear as Phil breathes it out, but Dan doesn’t mind. “Damn, even I’ll admit that that’s good stuff,” Phil murmurs softly.

The marijuana chews at Dan’s sleepy brain, breaking down every brick of tension. They are on a worldwide tour, Dan knew he was stressed, but until this moment, he didn’t realized how stressed.

Dan brings the joint back to his lips, taking a big hit. Everything about it is great — the taste, the smell, the feeling. Wanting Phil to enjoy more of it, to feel the effects like he is, Dan shifts the joint back to Phil’s mouth. While Phil takes a drag, Dan seeks out something else for his mouth to do, and lets his lips fall to Phil’s neck. He presses warm, smokey kisses to each knot of Phil’s exposed spine, tugging the collar of his tshirt between his teeth when he reaches the barricade.

Phil lets out a satisfied moan, and Dan’s not sure if it’s from the weed or the kisses, but it doesn’t matter. There’s plenty more of both.

They fall into a rhythm. Dan takes a glorious drag, savoring his puff, before moving the joint to Phil’s lip as he exhales. Dan holds the joint steady so Phil can take a hit, while focusing his own efforts on kissing every part of Phil’s neck that he can reach. Inhale, exhale, kiss. Again and again and again.

When the joint is barely a stub, Phil drops his head backwards onto Dan’s shoulder. “The last hit’s for you, Bear,” he mumbles, his words coming out in a lazy slur.

Dan breathes in the last hit of weed, relishing in its effects. There’s more, in the bag, if they want it. And maybe in a bit, they will. But for now, the edges of Dan have melted away, he’s numbed over slightly, and his nerve endings feel on fire. It’s wonderful.

He can feel every millimeter of where Phil is touching him — the light press of Phil’s arse against Dan’s semi-erect cock, the soft cotton of Phil’s tshirt rubbing against Dan’s unclothed chest, the silky hairs of Phil’s quiff tickling the underside of Dan’s chin.

It’s too much, in the best of ways. Dan can’t resist shifting his hand from the railing to Phil’s hip, pulling their bodies closer together, letting his lips trail from Phil’s neck around to the soft pad below his ear.

A quiet, unrestrained groan tumbles from Phil’s lips and Dan knows that he’s feeling it too, that the weed has blurred Phil’s worries like it has his own. The fabric between them is too much, Dan is desperate to feel Phil’s skin on his own. Without thinking, Dan drops the dead joint to the small table and slips his hands under Phil’s shirt, pulling up, up, up, until the shirt is bunched around Phil’s neck. Phil’s arms raise over his head, silently asking Dan to take it off entirely.

And he does, letting the shirt drop without a care. A moment too late, Dan sees that it’s falling, falling from the balcony railing down, down, down, billowing towards the street below them.

It’s just a tour shirt, nothing important if they lose it permanently. And even if it was important, Dan wasn’t sure he could bring himself to care about it right now. He’s too entranced by Phil, by this moment.

The morning sunlight looks beautiful against Phil’s pale skin and Dan has the urge to drink it all in, to kiss every part of Phil that he can find. So he does.

Dan starts below Phil’s ear, kissing down his neck, trailing down, down, down. Dan kisses every bump of Phil’s spine, his hands splaying across Phil’s back, caressing every bit of his boyfriend that he can reach. Vaguely, Dan is aware of Phil moaning quietly, of Phil’s hands grasping the railing for support, but that’s not where Dan’s focus is. He’s too mesmerized by his boyfriend’s beautiful back to be distracted by anything else.

Dan keeps going until he’s bent at the hips, pressing his lips into the small dimple of Phil’s lower back.

Without standing up, Dan gently spins Phil around, pushing his back into the railing. Dan swoops back into Phil’s space, grazing his teeth where the trail of hairs on Phil’s stomach intersects with his tight, light blue pants.

Now that Dan has Phil turned around, he can see Phil’s cock straining against his pants, a wet patch slowly growing near the tip of his cock. Fleetingly, Dan wonders if Phil has been hard long. He’s reminded of his own cock, and he looks down to find that he, too, is stretching the fabric of his pants.

He loves this, loves that after nearly ten years together, they still have this effect on each other. He loves that merely standing close, intimately sharing a joint, and some gentle kissing can make them both just as hard as the day they met.

Normally, Dan would rush. He would stand up fast, crash their cocks together, grind hard into Phil. Normally, Dan never would have dared to take Phil’s shirt of outside, and not cared when it tumbled down to the street. Normally, they never would have embraced on the balcony, much less in their pants.

But normally, weed isn’t dulling their fears and heightening their senses.

So today, Dan languidly kisses his way back up Phil. After years of kissing Phil, Dan knows every single one of his hot spots, so he takes care to dip his tongue into Phil’s belly button, and circle it around each of his nipples. Above him, Phil is letting out soft, contented sighs, and it’s beautiful.

Phil’s always beautiful, but today, on their anonymous hotel balcony in a foreign city, high on the best marijuana Dan’s ever had, Dan is pretty sure that Phil’s beauty has transcended life itself. It shouldn’t be possible for anything to be as beautiful as Phil is right now, but alas.

The only way Dan knows how to show his love, his appreciation, is through kissing, so he keeps going. He kisses Phil’s shoulders, his forehead, his heart, his cheeks.

When Dan’s lips finally land on Phil’s, Phil kisses back languidly, pulling Dan against him. Dan finally, finally ruts into Phil, feeling a slow wave of pleasure wash from his cock to his mind and back down.

“We don’t do this enough,” Phil whispers against Dan’s lips, his hands tracing light trails up and down Dan’s ribcage.

Dan draws back, only slightly, thumbing across Phil’s cheek. “What? Smoke, or fuck around outside?” Dan mumbles back.

“Both,” Phil mutters as he rocks his cock against Dan’s, his hands gliding down Dan’s torso, resting on his waist.

“When we buy a…” Dan trails off, his promise turning into a moan when Phil’s hands slip into the back of his pants, gripping the cheeks of Dan’s arse lightly. It’s a sentence that doesn’t need to be finished anyway. They both know what’s coming. A forever home. More privacy. The space to do what they want, when they want to. A permanent future.

A future together.

Phil dips his head down, his lips finally grazing Dan’s neck. The weed has clouded Dan’s rational senses enough that he lets out a long, loud whine — a noise that is probably far too loud for their current location, but Dan doesn’t care. Phil’s lips feel like fire coursing down his neck, sparks radiate out from every spot that he touches. Dan feels alive in a way that he hasn’t in a long time and he wants more.

He wants to feel Phil’s lips everywhere.

And Phil knows.

Phil always knows. He’s always so in tune with Dan’s needs, especially during sex. Today is no exception. Phil kisses down Dan’s neck, licking into the hollows of his collarbones. On instinct, Dan’s head falls back, eyes closed against the warm heat of the morning sun, basking in its glow.

“Fuck, Phil,” Dan moans. His neck, his collarbones, have always been a sensitive spot, but with so much high quality weed teasing at his senses, everything is amplified by a million. Phil continues lapping at his collarbone and Dan is fairly certain that he’s had blowjobs that have been less intoxicating than this.

It had been years since he’d had sex while high, and fuck, why had he waited this long to do it again?

Phil’s lips pave their way back up Dan’s neck, tugging the lobe of his ear into the wet heat of Phil’s mouth. “Do you like that, baby?” he murmurs. “Do my lips feel good on you?”

The combination of weed and arousal render Dan speechless, and he’s only capable of mumbling back yes yes yes.

“Let me make you feel good, baby,” Phil continues, pulling on Dan, forcing them to shift positions. The warm stone of the railing presses against Dan’s bare back. “I’m going to make you come with just my mouth.”

“Fuck,” Dan breathes, eyes flying shut. He feels Phil tugging on the hem of his pants, pulling them down to his legs, his lips following the path of his hand down the inside of Dan’s leg. The briefs hit the floor, and Dan opens his eyes to step out of them. He’s greeted with the sight of Phil kneeling between his legs on the stone floor of their hotel balcony. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dan is grateful for the fact that rest of the crew are on lower levels, but even if they weren’t, Dan’s mind is too fuzzy to care about stopping now.

Phil kisses the inside of Dan’s ankle and even that sends tingles of arousal through Dan’s whole body. Slowly, Phil kisses his way up, switching legs every few pecks. They don’t normally have the patience for this — Dan especially struggles to maintain such a slow, tantalizing pace if he’s not physically restrained.

But today, with the marijuana helping to slow them both down, this pace feels right. It takes Phil nearly two whole minutes to finally press a final kiss into the sharp bone of Dan’s hip. Dan’s eyes are wide open, staring hungrily down at Phil, eager to not miss the moment when he finally touches his lips to Dan’s cock.

He doesn’t though. Phil leans back, slightly, his eyes flickering up to meet Dan’s. On a different day, Dan would whine, probably even knot his hand in Phil’s hair and push him forward. But the only thing Dan wants to do right now is keep staring down, down, down at Phil, to do whatever Phil wants.

Phil’s hands slide up Dan’s legs, coming to rest on his hips. “Turn around for me, love,”

Fuck, so that’s how he’s going to do this.

A loud, unrestrained groan tumbles out of Dan’s mouth as he follows Phil’s gentle order. He feels warm lips kissing against his cheek and Dan tumbles forward, bracing his hands on the railing, jutting his arse backwards.

The vibrations from Phil’s resulting moan feel stronger than any vibrator Dan’s ever had inside of him, and, for a split second, he’s actually concerned he’s going to come from that alone.

He doesn’t though. Thank god. He doesn’t want this to end now.

This is too good to end so soon.

Warm, firm hands pull Dan’s cheeks apart. A wet, hot stripe is licked from his balls all the way up to his spine. Dan’s shaking it feels so good. Phil dives right back in, focusing directly on his hole, licking slowly, noisily.

Dan’s quivering, barely able to hold himself up. He lowers himself to his elbows on the railing, granting himself a little bit more stability. Phil’s tongue is slow, but relentless, alternating between lapping at Dan’s hole and dipping inside. The parts of Dan that are wet from Phil’s mouth are particularly sensitive, the cool air tingling against his damp skin.

In the warm early summer air of a random hotel in a random city, Dan feels himself melting. He could come from this — he will come from this, but he wants something just a little bit more. Dan wants Phil to melt with him, wants to feel Phil coming undone as Dan comes.

“Fuck, Phil, fuck,” Dan mutters after ages of Phil eating him out. “Stop, I —”

“No,” Phil circles his tongue around Dan’s hole insistently. “I want you to come from this.”

“Me too, but —” Dan’s cut off by his own gasp when Phil’s tongue darts far inside of him, nudging against his prostate. “Hang on though,” Dan manages to say, his head clouded with drugs and lust. Phil stops licking, but he doesn’t pull back. Warm air is blowing across Dan’s wet hole and he almost gives in. “I want to taste you, too.”

“Fuck,” Phil mumbles into his ass, his teeth catching on Dan’s rim. It’s electrifying. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Phil steadies his hands on Dan’s hips, pulling himself up. “Go lay on the bed, baby. On your side, the way we used to.”

Dan nods numbly, still in a daze. He links his hand with Phil’s, leading his boyfriend into their room. Neither of them bother to pull the door or the curtains closed behind them, the breeze feels nice, the glow of the sun better than any lamplight could ever be.

Obediently, Dan follows Phil’s instructions, crawling on the bed, laying his head at the bottom and swinging his feet up onto their pillow. He lays on his right side, which gives each of them free use of their dominant hand.

Phil threads his hand into Dan’s hair as he passes, pausing to massage Dan’s temples. “Good boy,” Phil praises. Dan lets himself get lost in the work of Phil’s fingers for a moment, the sensation magnified after smoking.

Eventually, Phil moves on, crawling onto the bed, swinging his legs up, letting them come to rest at Dan’s side. They’re both on their sides, facing each other. Phil smiles down at Dan for a second, shifting slightly on the bed to move his cock closer to Dan’s mouth, before turning his attention back to Dan’s lower half. Phil tenderly grabs Dan’s thigh, maneuvering it above his head and over his shoulder. Without warning, Phil’s lips are back on Dan’s hole, sucking and licking with renewed vigor. Dan reaches out with his own mouth, taking Phil’s neglected cock into his mouth.

Phil’s cock jumps at the contact, a bead of precum leaking onto Dan’s tongue. Dan moans at the taste, swallowing as much of Phil down as he can in his current position. He can’t take Phil nearly as deeply or as skillfully when he’s on his side like this, especially not with the way that Phil is sucking at his hole, but Dan hopes that what he lacks in technique, he makes up for in enthusiasm.

This isn’t a position they indulge in very often, although they used to, when they were younger. These days, they both usually prefer to have more freedom to perform as skillfully as they want, their ministrations untainted by the other's.

But today, this feels right. Dan was desperate to have Phil’s cock in his mouth, but he wasn’t ready to give up the feeling of Phil’s tongue in his arse yet either.

They should do this more. Every part of this. Smoking, fucking outside, sixty-nining. They should do it all more.

But, to be fair, Dan wants to do everything with Phil more.

Both of them seem to be in silent agreement to take things slowly, to not rush. Neither of them increase the speed of their ministrations, and neither of them push their hips to encourage the other to move faster. It’s slow. Maybe slower than they’ve ever fucked.

Dan loses track of time. He has no idea how long he’s felt right on the edge, but not quite tipping over. Considering he has been so close, for so long, Dan shouldn’t be surprised when he comes, but he is. His orgasm wracks through his body, powerful waves that threaten to crash him into another dimension. He sucks harder at Phil’s cock, needing somewhere to channel his energy.

Phil’s hips snap forward once, twice, and he’s coming down Dan’s throat. Dan moans at the taste, working Phil through his orgasm.

When they both still, Dan pulls his leg from Phil’s shoulder, rolling onto his back. He stares up at the ceiling, which he’s just now noticing is patterned with concentric circles.

“What now?” Dan murmurs.

Phil’s hand reaches out, thumbing through the come that Dan hadn’t realized is streaked across his own stomach. “First, we are ordering room service, because I’m starving. And after we eat, we are smoking the rest of that weed, and then I’m fucking you.”

Dan tilts his head to the side, pressing a small kiss into the crevice of Phil’s hip. “God, I love you.” Dan mumbles. “We are doing Amsterdam so right.”

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phandom #high!phan #amsterphan #ii #ii phanfic #iminclinedtowriting #phandom fic fest #100 #200

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auroraphilealis · 6 years ago

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Ready to Let Go (1/?)

Ready to Let Go (1/?) | Dan doesn’t want to go to India in February, just before Valentine’s Day, with his increasingly homophobic parents. He doesn’t want to be a lawyer, or settle down with some pretty girl one day. Dan wants to spend Valentine’s Day with Phil. He wants to be an entertainer. And he sure as hell plans on marrying Phil one day. But more than any of that, Dan just wants be himself. He wants to be happy. Sequel to Too Tense to Be Undone. | Phan | Explicit | Homophobia, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Growing Up, Explicit Smut, Rough Sex, D/S Undertones, Love Making, Rimming, Multiple Orgasm, Blowjobs, Skype Sex | 9,574 Words This Chapter

Special thanks to @imnotinclinedtomaturity as always for supporting me CONSTANTLY and editing for me all the time. She is the best ever, and this is now here early birthday present. 1. Because I literally wrote almost all of the first one and literally ALL of the sequel for her, and 2. Because she deserves a really huge birthday present for being the most amazing friend.

Hi guys! I’m finally with the promised sequel! It’s been a really intense ride working on this, and while I’m posting before it’s complete, I know that I’m going to finish it. I’m aiming for approximately 1 chapter a week, or however quickly I can pump this thing out, but your support means the world to me! As you might have seen I was struggling a lot working on this fic the past week (more, but the last week I’ve been vocal about it on tumblr) so it would mean a lot to me to hear if you guys want more!

I’ve got three more chapters written but not edited, and I’m projecting the fic to be about 6 chapters, but if you were with me on the wild ride that was Too Tense you’ll know how quickly plans can change.

Enjoy!

(ao3)

The atmosphere in the kitchen was stifling. Dan wasn’t sure which was worse, the heat of the oven, or the heat of his mum’s anger, both of which felt scalding as Dan stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest defensively.

“I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult about this, Dan.” Dan’s mum’s voice was terse, sounding more annoyed than it had in ages. Somehow, she sounded even more annoyed than she had when Dan had come home drunk on grad night and threw up all over her favorite pair of shoes. Dan wasn’t sure entirely sure how, but she was managing it.

“You’ve been to see Phil three times in the past month alone,” she continued, straightening up with a huff, hands now grappling with a hot pan of lasagna. “Why do you need to go to Manchester again instead of coming to India with your family? You used to love family vacations!” she added, completely exasperated as she managed to kick the oven door closed with her foot, and placed the hot baking tin on the kitchen counter. “Lord, teenagers,” she muttered under her breath, “Ungrateful and selfish.”

Finally, she turned around to look at Dan, who was attempting to summon up the anger he knew he was going to need to fight his parents tonight. Dan’s expression was contorted into his best imitation of mature - a mask of hard indifference he’d learned from his parents over the years. His mother’s face, meanwhile, was flushed red from the heat of the oven, and her expression was set in a frustrated frown as she crossed mittened hands over her chest, clearly waiting for an answer.

“I know, I just don’t want to go on this vacation,” Dan replied curtly. “I’ve sort of got plans already,” he added a bit more teresely than the situation demanded. Dan couldn’t help it, though. He had a horrible feeling he knew what was coming, and while he’d walked into the kitchen tonight with the full intent of telling his parents he had a boyfriend, and that his boyfriend was Phil, he already knew he wasn’t coming out of this unscathed.

While Dan’s parents weren’t blatantly homophobic, their behavior over the years had made it clear to Dan that they’d never exactly been okay with the fact that he swung both ways. Dan already knew they weren’t going to take it well when he explained why he insisted on going up to Manchester so often.

“What kind of plans could possibly eclipse spending time with your family? I’m sure you can reschedule,” his mum pressed, refusing to back down.

Dan shook his head immediately. Sure, he could reschedule with Phil, but the fact of the matter was, their family vacation perfectly overlapped Valentine’s Day, and Dan…

Well, Dan wasn’t exactly looking forward to spending the holiday with his parents. Not when he could be spending it with his boyfriend.

Not bothering to wait for a proper response from Dan, his mum turned her back on him with a loud sigh. “Charles, can you please talk some sense into your son. I can’t believe he’s acting like this,” she muttered, picking up a towel and beginning to fan her lasagna. Her movements were stiff and abrupt, belying her obvious anger. Dan tried not to cringe too hard at the display of emotion.

Dan’s father, on the other hand, slowly put down the coffee mug he’d been sipping from on the breakfast bar. Up until that point, he’d been silently observing Dan’s fight with his mother, but it wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Generally speaking, Dan knew how his parents fought - they played tag-teams.

And now it was his father’s turn.

“Come, now, Daniel. We’ve already got the plane tickets,” he said, voice a composed drawl. “You can stand one week with your family, especially if it means you knocking off messing around with that Phil bloke in Manchester.”

Instantly, Dan was on the defensive. His brows furrowed as he looked at his father, the heart of the matter having been struck far sooner than Dan had been expecting. The thing was, Dan wasn’t willing to listen to his boyfriend being bad mouthed by anyone, especially his family. It was only inevitable that he’d cause a scene.

He’d just been expecting it to take a little longer to start, that’s all.

“What the hell does that mean?” Dan asked, already feeling outraged.

“Language!” his mum berated him.

Dan snapped his mouth shut, but didn’t turn his glare away from his father.

“I’m just saying,” Dan’s father pressed, “If you’re not careful, someone’ll start thinking your dating him. He’s a bit funny, isn’t he?” his father continued, nonchalant but hard. Dan watched as he waved his hand in the air as if the words were meaningless, but to Dan, they were anything but.

It was exactly the reaction Dan had been expecting, but that didn’t make his father’s words hurt any less.

Suddenly bristling with anger, Dan straightened up, and stared his father down head on. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked through gritted teeth.

With a dramatic sigh of his own, Dan’s father rolled his eyes. “I just mean he’s a bit queer, is all. I’m not so sure he’s a good influence on you or your reputation, for that matter. If you want to be a respectable lawyer someday, you need to start thinking about who you spend your time with,” he explained firmly. His eyes were stormy, like he’d known this was coming for a long time now, and he’d been waiting for the opportune moment to put his foot down on the matter.

Heat surged into Dan’s cheeks, and he took an angry step forward into the kitchen, an action that had his father’s expression darkening abruptly. There was no denying Dan’s threatening demeanor, but it was nothing compared to his father’s, and his dad was sitting down. Nevertheless, Dan refused to back down.

The pressure from his parents, particularly his father, was too much, and Dan was sick of it.

“Who said I even wanted to be a reputable lawyer?” Dan snarled back. “And besides, what’s that got to do with Phil?” he nearly shouted.

His father let out a long suffering sigh, and took a sip of his coffee, as if Dan were merely an annoying gnat that he wanted to swat away. Dan felt his hands curl into fists at his sides at the very thought of his father dismissing him, and did his best not to just start properly shouting the way he wanted to.

“Don’t start this up again, Daniel. We’ve already decided on your plans for the future,” his dad replied. “Once you’ve settled down with a nice girl, and you’re able to support her the proper way, you’ll thank me for pushing you.”

“The hell I will,” Dan replied before he could stop himself. His mind was swimming with thoughts, anger rushing through him in a way only his father could cause it to. Dan wasn’t thinking about Phil anymore though. While Dan had originally come downstairs to talk about his boyfriend, and he still planned to, there were bigger issues being aroused here. Dan’s father wanted to force Dan to accept his planned future, and Dan wanted nothing more than to rail against said plan.

Dan didn’t want to be a lawyer, and while he’d spent the last few months doing whatever his parents asked of him to make them happy, he wasn’t sure he even cared about making them proud of him anymore.

“I don’t want to be a lawyer. That’s your dream, not mine,” Dan said, a new sense of anger surging through him. “What do I care whether or not I have a good reputation in Wokingham of all places? As if I have any plans of coming back here once I’ve got my degree,” Dan continued, snarling the words the way he’d wanted to for months now.

“And who the hell said I was going to settle down with some girl, anyway?” Dan continued, on a roll now. “You act like my whole life has already been planned out, but you’ve never once asked me what I want!”

“Enough already, Daniel. You’re acting like a child. Your mother and I know what’s best for you -”

“Like hell you do!” Dan shouted, eyes beginning to prick with angry tears. The way his father was staring at him, as if Dan were less than him, was not only demeaning, but outright painful. It made Dan want nothing more than to reach forward and slap him - a thought he hated himself for having.

Dan wasn’t a violent person, but his dad… sometimes his dad just pushed too far.

“You don’t even know what I want to do with my life!” Dan continued, when his father refused to answer Dan. “When was the last time you actually asked me what I like to do? I don’t just spend all of my time playing video games and messing about on the internet the way you lot make it out to seem,” he said, his voice beginning to wobble a bit.

“And when I did tell you what I wanted to do, you mocked me for even dreaming of it! What the hell is wrong with me becoming an entertainer? It’s not completely impossible, you know! Being a YouTuber is this whole new thing, and people are actually making it! Phil even gets paid, now! If you’d just look at my stats page for one minute, you’d see that -”

“Enough, Daniel!” his father shouted, voice thunderous, as he cut Dan off once again. He slammed his hands down on the breakfast bar, and pushed himself out of his seat, his own six foot four frame meeting Dan’s head on, and yet making Dan feel small, even from almost all the way across the kitchen. “That’s enough! I told you if that silly video crap of yours is going to interfere with your education, with the internship I worked so hard to secure for you, then I’d put a stop to it!” he argued. “I don’t care what your stats look like, being an entertainer isn’t a viable career option for you!”

Dan was shaking with anger. All thought of why he’d originally come down here had completely fled from his mind now. All he could think about was the fact that his father was forcing him to do something that they both knew Dan hated, and Dan wasn’t sure he could play pretend any longer.

The way his father had said for you wasn’t sitting well with Dan either.

Before he could stop himself, before he could try and gain back some control, Dan shouted, “What’s that supposed to mean!? What, you don’t think I’m funny enough to be an entertainer? Or is it that I’m not attractive enough? Or better yet, do you reckon it has something to do with the fact that I’m gay?”

Everyone froze.

The kitchen, which had previously been filled with the sound of his mum making dinner, the sound of Dan screaming at his father and his father shouting back, suddenly went deathly quiet. Dan’s breathing stopped as he realized what he’d just said, adrenaline rushing through his veins. His mind was spinning, and while the words weren’t untrue, weren’t even a secret from his parents, they were still a topic his family usually skirted around so carefully that saying the word aloud was as bad as swearing.

Dan’s father looked beyond furious, shaking with anger, and his mum… well, his mum was curled over her lasagna, completely still.

If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d say that not one single person in the room was breathing. But they had to be. The way his father's chest was absolutely heaving spoke volumes on its own.

In an attempt not to do something any more stupid, Dan squeezed his hands into fists and dug his fingernails into his skin, waiting for the dam to break, and for all hell to break loose.

It came in a far less violent manner than Dan had been imagining.

“You’re not gay, Daniel,” his father eventually replied, teeth gritted, his voice a quiet, almost inaudible murmur.

Somehow, the quiet tone, the reserved anger, felt worse than if his father had outright screamed at him.

Even so, Dan couldn’t seem to help himself. He barked out a humorless laugh, and rolled his eyes. Riding high on the adrenaline, Dan replied, “Fine, I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. Does it really make a difference?” The words didn’t really come out as a question, more as a statement. Dan pushed on, his fury taking over. “Do you really care what I call myself? Does it really matter? Because from what I’m getting, all you care about is whether or not I shack up with a girl and go to law school to live your dream!”

In a rare fit of rage Dan hardly saw from his father, his dad swung at his coffee mug, and sent it flying. Coffee flew everywhere, spraying not only Dan’s mum, but her lasagna as well, ruining it in an instant. The mug shattered against the kitchen wall, sending shards of glass everywhere.

“Charles!” Dan’s mum shouted, shocked. She sprung back, recoiling from the shattered mug and the splatter of her home made food. Dan found himself flinching as well, but he was far too angry to stop fighting now.

He could feel his heart pounding fast against his ribs, and every inch of him felt like it was vibrating. He was done with his parents’ bullshit, done with his father acting as if Dan were the one in the wrong. For the first time in Dan’s life, he felt like he could actually take his parents head on.

“Don’t you talk to me like that, Daniel!” his dad shouted.

“Don’t talk to you how? Honestly?” Dan challenged, stalking forward, “Making sure that you know good and well that this is not the life that I chose for myself? Or is it the fact that I’m not letting you and mum beat around the bush about my sexual preferences anymore?” Dan barked out another humorless laugh. “Admit it. The only reason you ever insisted I stick it out with my cheating ex-girlfriend was because you were afraid I’d run off and fuck boys if she was out of the picture!”

“Watch your language, young man!” Dan’s mum shouted, her voice shrill and filled with horror. “Your father’s right, that’s enough! What on Earth has gotten into you?” she demanded, finally turning around.

Her eyes were rimmed with red, her gaze not quite falling on Dan.

Somehow that only made Dan feel worse.

What had gotten into him? What had gotten into him? How could his parents not know, how could they not see that Dan was trying to fight against the box they were attempting to force him into? How could they not see how badly they were hurting him? How could they not understand that for once in Dan’s life, he was just trying to stick up for himself?

Dan wanted to cry. He wanted to grab something and hurl it at the wall, same as his father had done. He wanted to make the pain go away, in any way he could.

But the only way Dan could think of was to hurt his parents the way they’d hurt him, and the only way he could think to do that was to tell them what he’d come down here to say.

It just sucked that suddenly, Dan felt like he was using Phil as a weapon.

“I have a boyfriend, mum,” Dan declared, furious now, spitting the words out like they were acid. “Phil’s my boyfriend, and the reason I don’t want to go on vacation with you guys is because I’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with someone who actually loves me!”

Once again, the kitchen fell into shocked silence. Dan’s outburst seemed to be the last straw for both of his parents. Dan’s mum whirled away from Dan, knocking her hip into the tray of lasagna she’d baked, and sending it falling to the floor. The sound of glass shattering broke the silence, followed quickly by the sound of a horrified sob.

Dan’s father’s face had turned purple in fury, and he stalked around the breakfast bar and straight towards Dan so quickly that Dan actually thought his father was going to hit him.

He didn’t. Instead, he stopped mere centimeters away from Dan, somehow towering over him with a look that could turn anyone to stone.

“That’s enough,” he said again, this time his voice filled with so much venom, so much hate, that Dan actually fell silent. Suddenly, the adrenaline rush that had allowed Dan to speak to his parents like that fled from him, and his eyes grew wide. Unconsciously, Dan shrunk away from his father.

“That’s enough, Daniel,” he repeated. “I don’t care who you think you are. As far as I’m concerned, you will study law, and you will settle down one day with a proper girl. Whatever you have with that friend of yours ends now. Do you understand me?” he barked.

Limbs trembling, Dan slowly shook his head.

His father’s eyes turned murderous.

“Go to your room,” he ordered. “If you insist on acting like a child, then I’ll treat you like a child.”

Without another word, Dan’s father turned around and stormed from the room. A few seconds later, the sound of the back door being slammed echoed throughout the house.

Dan stood, stunned, in the middle of the kitchen, listening to his mother quietly sob, and wishing, for the first time all night, that he’d handled this differently.

He’d known when he’d come downstairs earlier in the evening that things were going to dissolve into a fight. But he hadn’t been expecting this.

“You heard your father,” Dan’s mum spoke up suddenly, her voice broken by tears, but no less angry than his father's had been. “Go upstairs. I don’t want to see you right now.”

Woodenly, Dan turned on his heel, and walked away. Every part of his body was shaking, and now that the adrenaline was bleeding out of his body, he felt nothing but exhaustion. For a moment, he was numb. There was so much going through his head, so much his body was trying to process, that Dan moved on autopilot, following his parents orders for lack of anything better to do.

But then the tears that had begun to fill his eyes spilled over, and Dan was hit with a wave of pain, of anger, and of resentment.

His heart felt heavy in his chest. He could hear his mum sobbing in the kitchen, and the sound of his dad’s horrible, angry words refused to stop echoing in his head. He’d known tonight would be messy, he’d known that things might not go his way, and that he might get stuck going on that trip to India with his parents, but he’d chosen to tell his parents about Phil anyway.

He hadn’t known to predict this kind of outrage .

He hadn’t expected his father to tell him to end things with Phil. He hadn’t expected to be told that he would marry a woman one day, that he had to marry a woman one day. Dan might be eighteen now, he might legally be an adult who could make his own choices, but tonight his parents had made him feel like a child all over again. Suddenly, he only had two choices: obey his parents, or lose them forever.

Losing his parents didn’t have to be the worst thing in the world, but Dan had never, never expected their reaction to him having a boyfriend to be this bad. He’d never expected to have to make this choice.

And it hurt.

But more than anything else, it made Dan angry. How dare his parents insist that Dan let go of everything he wanted, everything he loved, just for their own personal satisfaction? How dare they not only tell Dan that he didn’t have what it took to become an entertainer, Dan’s one and only dream since he’d turned sixteen, but that he also wasn’t allowed to find love in a man?

How dare they try and take Phil away from him?

Dan felt like a blob of confused emotions, with tears dripping down his cheeks, and his heart pounding from the terror his dad could still instill in him. The anger that had pushed him to scream at his parents like that, however, refused to leave. It pumped through his veins and kept him agitated, practically spinning in place as he stormed up the stairs.

The moment Dan reached the upstairs landing, however, the anger drained out of him, because he could see his brother stood just outside of his bedroom door. Having forgotten amidst all of the yelling that Adrian was home, Dan came to an abrupt halt, peering into the dark hallway with tears still dripping down his cheeks.

It took a moment for Dan’s gaze to focus, but when it did, he realized that Adrian was crying too.

“Adrian,” Dan murmured, suddenly terrified. The rejection of his parents had hurt enough, but Dan hadn’t even thought about his brother. It wasn’t that he and Adrian were super close or anything, but Adrian was still his brother. And Dan loved him. He really did. The last thing he wanted was for Adrian to hate too.

Biting his bottom lip, Dan found himself unable to step forward, or say another word. He was petrified, and while he still felt angry, he also suddenly felt overwhelmed with grief.

For a long, drawn out moment, neither male said anything. And then:

“I love you,” Adrian mumbled, gaze catching Dan’s and holding on fiercely. “Not just Phil,” he insisted.

Dan could see his bottom lip wobbling, could see his hands shaking on the frame of his bedroom door. He could see Adrian holding back any more tears, forcing his voice to stay steady, to stay stern.

The sight of his brother trying so hard for Dan caused him to let out a choked sounding sob, and he nodded his head vigorously in response, unable to open his mouth and respond.

For a moment, Dan considered rushing forward and dragging Adrian into a fervent hug in thank you for being so supportive of him, but he found that he couldn’t. He had a horrible feeling that he was about to fall apart, and the last thing he wanted was to do so in front of his brother.

Movements jerky, Dan tried to rush past Adrian and into his own room, but before he could, Adrian reached out and touched him - his touch gentle on the inside of Dan’s arm. Startled, Dan stopped, and turned to look at his brother.

Adrian’s expression was even more fierce up close.

“They’re wrong,” he insisted. “You can do anything you want.”

A second overwhelming surge of emotion rolled over Dan, and he let out a shocked, happy laugh. There was a huge lump in his throat, building with each passing second, but the reassurance, the acceptance, the downright loyalty coming from his brother made him feel stronger.

“Thank you,” he mumbled through tight lips, offering the wobbliest smile he’d ever felt, hoping that Adrian would be able to tell how much this meant to him.

Adrian nodded back, far more strongly than Dan had earlier, and turned on his heel to push back into his own room. He didn’t linger. Adrian never lingered. In fact, Adrian wasn’t big on words, or emotions. What he’d given Dan tonight had been a truly surprising gift, but a welcome one nonetheless.

Smiling a little, feeling a small sense of hope in his belly, Dan managed to make it the rest of the way to his room before falling apart. The moment his door shut behind him, he fell backwards against it, and let himself slip down it until he was sat on the floor. Angry sobs pushed at his chest as Dan battled his own emotions, and tried to pull himself together all at the same time.

So much had happened in such a short amount of time, and he didn’t know how to process it. Dan was still reeling from the fight, from the accusation that he would never make it as an entertainer, from the pain of being rejected for loving a boy. Dan just couldn’t understand what could possibly inspire so much hate inside of a person that they would reject their own son.

Curling in on himself, Dan drew his legs to his chest, and held on tight. With his face tucked into his knees, he let himself fall apart. Painful sobs wracked his body, and no matter how hard he bit his lip, whimpers and gasps for breath broke the silence of his bedroom. His fingers were gripping so tight to his knees that he could feel his fingernails practically piercing through the fabric of his jeans.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to rail against the confines of his own bedroom, of his entire house, if it only meant that he could set himself free from this misery. All the people who’d ever said he’d go to hell for liking other men had been right - only hell wasn’t a place in the afterlife, it was a very real place on Earth. Dan knew because it felt as if he’d been cast down into it.

Not only was he being rejected for liking men, for having a boyfriend and refusing to agree to give him up, but he was being rejected for wanting to find his own path in life. What kind of a fucked up family dynamic was that?

When had Dan’s life become his father’s? When had Dan stopped fighting for what he wanted? Shouldn’t Dan be the one deciding his own future?

He couldn’t do this anymore. He needed to get out.

He couldn’t keep living like this, and the first step was leaving before his parents could come upstairs and force him to live their lie.

Only Dan had nowhere to go.

All of his friends had taken off for uni the second they’d finished secondary school, and the ones who hadn’t had long moved away from Wokingham, most of which he didn’t even have the numbers for anymore. It had been a long time since Dan had gone to someone’s party, or bothered to keep up with them - especially since he’d gotten together with Phil.

Wait.

Phil.

Why hadn’t Dan thought of it before? If there was one person in Dan’s life who he could always count on, it was Phil. Dan just hoped he didn’t have any plans for the weekend, because like hell was Dan staying at his own house for one second longer than he had to. He’d come back the day before India, that should be enough time to let his parents cool down, and for Dan to get enough of a hold of himself to figure out where he was going to go from here.

Plus. It meant spending time with Phil, and that was something Dan would find any excuse for ever.

Dropping his arms from around his legs, Dan reached up to scrub at his eyes viciously, trying to shove away all of his feelings, and pull himself together just enough to call Phil and make sure it was okay for him make the trip up there for the weekend. His knees shook as he attempted to push himself up into a standing position, but he braced himself on his door with his hands, and managed it well enough.

Searching his pocket for his phone, Dan realized he hadn’t taken it downstairs with him. He vaguely remembered not wanting to have it go off in the middle of his conversation with his parents and leaving it upstairs plugged in. Sniffling a little, Dan pushed himself to walk to his bed, and collapsed on top of the covers the moment he found it.

He felt intensely weak. The combination of the adrenaline rush, the crying, and the fight with his parents had worn him out. Nevertheless, Dan rolled to the edge near his bedside table and grappled for his phone.

Fingers shaking, Dan managed to unlock his phone, and jabbed the contact button. Phil was at the top of his “recent” menu, so Dan clicked on his name, and jammed the call button.

As soon as his phone was pressed to his ear, Dan rolled onto his stomach, allowing himself to melt into the comfort of his bed. The tears hadn’t really stopped just because Dan had forced himself to stop sobbing, and he could feel himself continuing to sniffle, but he’d already accepted that hiding the fact that he was upset was going to be a lost cause. He just hoped that Phil wouldn’t push too much when he heard just how choked up Dan sounded.

It took three rings for Phil to pick up, but when he did, the soft sound of his voice washed over Dan like a warm balm.

“Dan,” Phil murmured, a husky chuckle escaping his lips. “There you are,” he added. “I was beginning to think you’d gotten tired of me. I haven’t heard from you all day.”

Dan snorted, his lips turning up into a smile. The very idea of Dan ever getting tired of Phil was downright ridiculous.

“Unlikely,” Dan replied, sniffling a little. “I was just busy earlier. What you’re doing this weekend?” he asked, apropos of nothing. His voice was raspy, and Phil had to be able to tell that Dan was crying, but Dan couldn’t seem to hold it back. A second wave of tears slipped down his cheeks as Dan cleared his throat.

“Dan?” Phil asked, suddenly sounding far less warm, and far more panicked, as he picked up on the sound of Dan’s voice. “What’s wrong, bear? Did something happen?”

Dan shook his head even though he knew Phil couldn’t see him, and forced himself to let out another chuckle. The sound of his childhood nickname, the one his parents had given him, rolling off of Phil’s tongue hurt more than it probably should.

Dan wanted that name to mean something good again.

“Kind of,” he admitted after a moment, because there was no use in lying, “But it doesn’t matter right now. I don’t want to think about it. Are you doing anything this weekend?” Dan asked again, pushing past the conversation about what was wrong.

Phil hesitated.

For a moment, Dan tensed, terrified his boyfriend was going to say yes, or worse, push for more information. But after another moment, Phil let out a deep breath, and said, “No, not really. I was just planning on filming a video or something, but it can wait.”

There was no disguising the worry in Phil’s voice, or the fact that he really sounded like he wanted to push, to ask Dan what was going on.

Before Phil could do just that, Dan said, “Great, I’ll see you tomorrow then, okay? Let your parents know I’ll be staying for the weekend.”

Phil didn’t even try to protest, though he did sound confused when he spoke again.

“Wait, really? Are you serious? Are you sure that’s okay? I thought your parents wanted you home to pack for India?”

Dan tried not to snap at Phil the way he’d snapped at his parents earlier.

“We’re leaving Tuesday. As long as I’m home by Monday I don’t think they have very much room to complain.” In an attempt to change the subject again, Dan added, “I hope your parents won’t mind too much.”

“Are you kidding, Dan? My parents love you!” Phil insisted immediately. “They’ll be happy to have you. I think they’re surprised you haven’t been around since last Tuesday, actually,” he admitted.

Surprised, Dan let out a bark of laughter. “Really?” he asked, unable to help himself. After the hell evening he’d just had, Dan had almost expected Phil to tell him that his parents hated Dan too.

“Really, really,” Phil agreed instantly. “They adore you. Sometimes I think they like you more than me,” he teased.

Rolling his eyes, Dan laughed the words away. “Yeah right, Phil. Who couldn’t love you?”

“You’d be surprised,” Phil muttered, drawing the conversation into the more natural pattern of his and Dan’s usual conversations. They argued playfully, Phil whining at Dan and insisting that there was plenty wrong with him that Dan just didn’t know about yet. Dan refuted Phil’s claim easily, and demanded Phil to prove it.

Phil did his best too, recounting story after story to Dan, but no matter how hard he tried, Dan never once gave in. There was nothing that could convince Dan that Phil wasn’t wonderful.

As the conversation continued, Dan found himself able to momentarily forget about his parents, thoughts of them disappearing and being replaced with thoughts of Phil. They talked about literally nothing, but it was better than anything Dan had ever talked about before, because it was Phil. As they traded stories, sharing personal histories and catching each other up on their lives, Dan felt all of his pain start to melt away.

They talked for a couple of hours. Neither of Dan’s parents ever came upstairs to talk to him, to interrupt him or yell at him some more. Once, Dan heard his father come back home, storming into the house, but he never came upstairs. Dan was left on his own to talk to Phil for as long as he might want.

When midnight eventually rolled around, and Phil started yawning, however, Dan realized that he was going to have to let Phil go. While they normally stayed up all hours of the night talking, Phil had gotten up that morning at eight am for a trip down to Manchester City Center to visit some friends and film some videos - thankfully sans Charlie, this time. While that wasn’t early by some people’s standards, Phil had been up until four the night before indulging Dan in a quest on Guild Wars, which Phil was really quite terrible at.

So it was no surprise to Dan that Phil was on the verge of collapsing with exhaustion so early. Dan said goodbye as good naturedly as he could manage.

“Are you going to be okay?” Phil asked, just before he hung up the phone. His tone was hushed, like he didn’t really want to ask, but knew he needed to. Dan inhaled sharply, jolted out of his good thoughts by the reminder that Phil knew something was wrong, and that Dan needed to explain to Phil eventually.

Not tonight, thought. Not while Dan was still trapped inside this hell hole.

Managing a small smile despite the fact that Phil couldn’t see him, Dan nodded his head and said, “I’ll be fine, Phil.”

Dan wasn’t sure if it was a lie, or the truth, but he certainly felt better than he had earlier.

“Alright,” Phil agreed after a moment, “If you’re sure.”

Working up all the courage that he had, Dan said, “I’m sure.”

They didn’t waffle any longer, no matter how badly Dan wanted to. Phil murmured a sweet I love you, and Dan whispered one back, before they hung up. Dan let Phil do the honors, not wanting to be the one to end the phone call, and sighed when the beep of a disconnected call reached his ears.

Sighing, Dan let his phone fall onto his bed, and rolled over onto his back. Suddenly, he was very, very alone, staring up at his dark ceiling, with the sound of his parents moving around downstairs, murmuring to each other, ringing in his ears.

Dan closed his eyes, wishing that Phil could have stayed on the phone with him for just a little bit longer. Phil needed sleep, though, and Dan would seem tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Right.

Sitting up, Dan leaned over the side of his bed and quickly retrieved his laptop. He had train tickets to book, because he sure as hell wasn’t planning to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary. Confident in the fact that his parents were unlikely to come bother Dan at this time of night, Dan booted up his laptop, and went straight to Trainline.

The earliest train to Manchester Piccadilly was 4:40 am, with a return time of Monday at 1 in the afternoon. Not even blinking at the 70 pound price, Dan booked the ticket instantly. Normally, he planned ahead so he could find cheaper tickets, but tonight was an emergency.

Closing his laptop once the confirmation appeared in his email, Dan got out of bed and flipped on his lightswitch. The sudden brightness had Dan blinking his eyes owlishly for a moment before he adjusted to it.

He could still hear his parents voices carrying softly up the stairway, not quite loud enough to make out the words, but still enough for Dan to know they were talking. Figuring he was safe enough, Dan quietly begun to move about his room, packing a few sets of clothes and his laptop for his trip to Phil’s. As soon as it was full, Dan sipped it closed.

If all went well this morning, he’d be out of the house before his parents had even woken up. There wouldn’t be a second conversation, there wouldn’t be a demand that Dan stay home, that he stop seeing Phil immediately, or that he get out before his parents kicked him out.

This was Dan’s decision, and no one was going to stop him.

Shoving his packed suitcase in the corner of his room, where his parents hopefully wouldn’t find it if they came in to check on Dan that night, Dan turned off his bedroom light again, and crawled into bed. He was still dressed in the jeans and t-shirt he’d pulled on that morning, but it was all the better if Dan was planning to get up in three hours.

Setting an alarm on his phone, and plugging the device in, Dan yawned and did his best to sleep.

But sleep never came.

The fight he’d had with his parents kept flashing through his mind. His father’s harsh words, the sound of his own blood pulsing through his veins, kept pushing at Dan’s brain, forcing him to hear it over and over again. He couldn’t relax, his body tense and wound tight. A mixture of anger and pain raced through him, forcing him into limbo between asleep and wide awake.

He never really drifted, he didn’t think. He just kept imagining the look on his father’s face, the way his mum had refused to look at him, Adrian’s soft, caring words, the fierceness in his expression. He just kept reminding himself of how Phil made him feel, and shoved back at the part of his brain that felt overwhelming shame for being gay.

A few times, Dan had to shove his face into his pillow in order to scream, desperate for some kind of relief, but mostly, he just cried.

And cried.

And cried some more.

By the time 3am rolled around, Dan’s alarm going off to let him know, Dan couldn’t take it anymore. He was glad for it being time to get up.

His stomach felt hollow from lack of food, and his mind was hazy with the need for sleep, but more than that, his body ached with the need to just escape. He couldn’t say in this house any longer.

Besides. It was a good fifteen minutes to the train station from Wokingham. Dan could walk there, and extend it to an hour. Then, he’d just need to wait about another hour for his train.

He could do that.

It was better than staying at home.

Dragging himself out of bed, Dan rubbed at his face in an attempt to wake himself up some more, and, in the dark of his bedroom, moved around looking for his shoes. Once he found a suitable pair, he dragged them on over a pair of socks, and started digging around in his dresser for his headphones.

Once he’d secured those, he shoved them into his pocket, along with his phone, wallet, and keys, and then grabbed his suitcase and headed for his bedroom door. He couldn’t hear his parents speaking downstairs anymore, but he’d never quite heard them go to bed.

Part of him was afraid he’d tried to make his way downstairs and run straight into his parents, but another part of him, a bigger part of him, didn’t care. He just needed out, and there was nothing his parents could do to stop him.

There was nothing that would keep Dan from making that train journey today.

Still. Just in case his parents had gone to bed sometime in the three hours Dan had attempted sleep, Dan creeped out of his bedroom, and lugged his suitcase quietly down the stairs by holding it securely in his arms. The moment he hit the bottom step, he placed it down, and turned to see that the lights in the kitchen were still on.

His breath caught in his lungs, and he felt the strength in his legs start to give.

No one was speaking, that much was evident, but Dan knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that at least one of his parents was still in the kitchen. They had to be. Or else the light wouldn’t be on. Dan could only hope it was his mum, and not his dad.

Doing his best to summon up the courage, the drive to escape, Dan took in a deep breath, and forced himself into motion. His suitcase rolled quietly on the carpet behind him. Dan’s entire body was tensed, ready for another fight, ready to flee if need be.

He passed by the open archway to the kitchen, and turned his head, freezing immediately.

On the other side of the breakfast bar were both of Dan’s parents sat side by side, nursing what looked to be mugs of coffee.The broken shards of Dan’s father’s mug, and the ruined lasagne dish, were swept neatly into a corner of the kitchen, but not properly disposed of.

Dan’s mum looked up.

Their eyes met.

Her eyes, normally a vibrant, warm brown, were dull. She stared for only a moment, before she looked away. The shame on her face was clear.

It only took another moment for her to shove away from her seat, and walk away. The action seemed to startled Dan’s father, who looked up, followed her movements, and then turned and caught sight of Dan.

His face twisted back into the grimace from earlier, his hands coming down to the counter as he shoved his chair back, scraping the legs against the floor. “Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded, catching sight of Dan’s luggage.

Frozen, Dan said nothing.

That only seemed to make his father even more angry.

“Who said you could leave the house? What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Dan still didn’t respond. His heart was pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears. He didn’t know whether to scream, or cry.

“Well!?” his father near screamed, “I asked you a question!”

“I’m going to see Phil,” Dan blurted out, tense with a new surge of adrenaline, eyes darting everywhere, unable to meet his father’s gaze.

“Excuse me?” his father demanded. “Who said you could -”

“I did,” Dan insisted suddenly, his blood beginning to boil at his father’s attitude, at the fact that his father was treating him like a child. “I’m 18 now, you can’t stop me,” he added, knowing, even as he spoke, that he was only making things worse. “And I’m going to go see Phil, my boyfriend before you lot ship me off to india for some bloody family vacation.”

The words were ice cold, and in a way, Dan wasn’t sure where they had come from. His hands were trembling, and there was a part of him that thought his father was going to come over there and slap him for saying such dirty words in his home, but he didn’t.

He didn’t get the chance.

He hadn’t so much as took a step forward, ready to race around the breakfast bar and physically restrain Dan from leaving, before Dan was out the front door, slamming it shut behind him and practically running for the bus stop.

He didn’t know whether the action was from a need to get away from his parents, or to reach Phil faster, but he wasn’t going to question it. He just let the momentum of his legs carry him as far as they could manage before his breath eventually gave out, and he was a few meters away from the bus station. A small group of people were huddled up in coats in front of the bus stand, a beacon that would surely make the bus come to a stop, so Dan bent double and allowed himself to catch his breath for just a moment.

By the time he’d straightened back up, Dan realized that he’d begin to cry once again.

The February wind nipped at his cheeks, not cold enough to freeze the tears to his skin, but cold enough to make them burn. Reaching up, Dan swiped them away, and jogged to the group just in time for the bus to pull up.

But he wasn't getting on it. No. He was hiding in the small crowd in the hopes that if his father had tried to race after him, he’d think that Dan was getting on the bus, and he’d leave him the hell alone. Not nearly bundled up as much as he should be for the chill of the 3am air, Dan glanced behind him, only to find the pavement startling bare.

There was no tall, imposing figure chasing after him. There was no blurry shape glaring at him from a block away.

There was nothing.

Just the cool night air steaming up in front of Dan, and the bright lights of the street lamps illuminating the path Dan had just taken.

Unsure whether he felt relieved, or even more hurt, Dan stilled.

Everything suddenly felt eerie. It was as if Dan had exited one universe, and walked right into another. His heart racing, Dan felt… free.

“You getting on, mate?” the bus driver asked, knocked Dan out of his thoughts. Whirling around, Dan turned away from the empty street in front of him and looked up into the bus.

“No,” Dan mumbled, “No, I - No. I’m just going to walk,” he answered, stumbling over the words. His teeth were beginning to chatter. Dan shoved one hand deep into his pocket in an attempt to keep it warm, and shook his head once again for good measure.

The bus driver peered at Dan for another moment before shrugging his shoulders, and closing the bus doors. Dan watched as the man drove away, taking off down the street in the same direction Dan was headed.

He should have gotten on the bus.

But Dan didn’t think he could handle sitting still for an extra fifteen minutes more than he had too. The train ride to Manchester was going to be hell enough. Dan could only hope that the walk to the train station would be enough to tire him out enough to sleep on the train.

Taking one last look behind him, towards the direction of his house, Dan searched for any sign of his father, and when he found none, he turned, and walked away.

The train was at least warm when Dan climbed onto it at 4:50, ten minutes later than his departure ticket had claimed. Dan was too numb to care, shoving his luggage into the seat next to him in the hopes that anyone else ridiculous enough to take a train this early wouldn’t attempt to sit by him. Digging his headphones out of his pocket, Dan shoved them into his ears, and started a playlist on his phone, thankful he’d thought to charge it before he’d attempted to sleep the previous night. He could only hope the 73% battery life would be enough to get him through the four hour train ride to Manchester.

Before Dan could forget, however, he sent Phil a quick text letting him know he’d be arriving at the station about 9, and hoping that Phil would wake up early enough to see it. If worse came to worst, Dan knew the bus trip to Phil’s by heart by now, but he’d rather not take it alone if he didn’t have to.

With a heavy sigh, Dan leaned the side of his head against the window next to him, and allowed himself to drown in the sound of Matt Bellamy's voice, letting it lull him to sleep.

He drifted off before the train even started moving. It was a good thing, too, because it gave Dan a solid four hours of blissful rest from thinking about his parents. His sleep wasn’t dreamless, but his dreams were fuzzy and unclear, at least, allowing Dan some peace. By the time he was being woken up by another passenger encouraging him to get off the train, Dan felt a little bit better than he had when he’d first climbed on.

The swirling pain of his parents’ rejection, the aching anger that had pushed him as far as he’d come in the last 12 hours, was more a dull ache in the back of his mind, now. Dan was thankful for the small reprieve, and climbed off of the train, carting his luggage along behind him.

His phone was even still alive, not that Dan noticed until he’d disembarked. He was jolted into awareness by the sudden beeping of a nearly dead phone, and his music shutting off. Looking down, Dan pressed the power button, and sighed at the 10% warning. Worse than that, there was no text reply from Phil, which told Dan all that he needed to know - Phil was still sleeping.

God, Dan wished that were him.

Leaving his headphones in in the hopes that he’d be left alone, Dan exited out of his music app in an attempt to preserve whatever was left of his battery power, and started making the trek to the bus stop he and Phil usually walked to together. His legs ached a bit, probably from all the running Dan had put them throug, but he kept moving regardless.

He just wanted to be in Phil’s arms. That was all that mattered to him anymore. He wanted the comfort of his boyfriend wrapped around him, the comfort of knowing he was loved. But more than that, he wanted the reminder that he belonged to someone.

Because Dan didn’t belong to his parents anymore. He didn’t belong with the Howells. He belonged with Phil.

As Dan made his way around the corner to the bus, which was thankfully already stopped and waiting for any stragglers to jump on, Dan dug around in his pockets for his bus fare. After paying that, he moved to the back of the bus, where is was the most empty, and pressed his forehead to the glass of the window in order to watch Manchester pass him by.

He and Phil had talked about living here, once upon a time. It had only partially been a joke, a long dream of Phil’s and something that Dan would give anything to be a part of. They’d discussed how they’d both get real jobs and find a nice apartment to stay in, with one bedroom if they had to, though Dan wanted a room for them both to have a YouTube set, and a breakfast bar, because Dan wanted a thousand more three hour breakfasts if he could get them.

They’d talked about filming videos together, and their audience growing. They talked about one day maybe even getting a chance to work with other big YouTube channels, maybe even the entertainment industry outside of Youtube in some capacity, even it was something as simple as guest starring a few times.

They shared two common dreams: being together, and being entertainers. They were just two boys who wanted to make others happy, and maybe one day, use their voices to do good.

The very thought of it brought angry tears to his eyes, because his parents wanted nothing more than to take that away.

Maybe Dan could get a job sooner rather than later. Maybe Dan could give up on Uni altogether. Maybe he and Phil could get that apartment soon instead of after Dan had graduated or whatever. Maybe Dan could just leave his parents, and be okay.

God, he hoped so.

Eventually, the bus pulled up a few blocks away from Phil’s home in Rawtenstall, and Dan disembarked with a half hearted wave at the bus driver. He was the last stop on the bus route, and he felt kind of bad having been the last rider, but the bus driver just tipped his chin at Dan, and drove away once Dan had climbed off.

Still consumed by the very real anger coursing through him after the long morning he’d had, Dan started to make his way to Phil’s, hoping that someone would be awake to open the door. It was - Dan checked the time on his phone - just pushing 9:30 in the morning. Surely Phil’s parents would be home.

But when Dan turned the corner onto Phil’s street, he realized that neither of Phil’s parents’ cars were in the lot. For a moment, Dan stopped walking, shocked and more than a little bit happy at the sudden change in circumstance. Dan hadn’t imagined Phil’s parents would be at work when he arrived today, but of course they were. It was a Friday, after all.

Did that mean he and Phil would have the house to themselves?

The thought was an exciting one to Dan, who wanted nothing more than to bury his sorrow in the solace of Phil’s touch. He’d been ready to accept cuddles and possibly a quick, quiet bout of sex in the middle of the night - hours after Dan had arrived, but now…

Now Dan could have what he truly wanted from Phil just then. Now he could indulge in the comfort of Phil’s very physical love for him.

Only Dan wasn’t in the mood for sweet. No, the anger simmering low in his veins made him want something more heated than sweet. Dan just didn’t know whether or not he’d be able to convince Phil to give it to him. They’d never been that rough with each other before - not as rough as Dan needed right now.

So Dan was a bit of a masochist, but who could blame him? He’d gone eighteen years without an orgasm, it almost seemed natural now that the achy feeling that came with denial, with pain, and the feeling of his balls curling tight to his body with no release in sight, would transfer into a kink once Dan had figured out just how he could make that pain stop.

He wanted, needed, craved rough, today. And he wanted Phil to mark Dan up so viciously that there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind who Dan belonged to - so viciously that his parents wouldn’t be able to pretend that Phil was just Dan’s friend.

He wanted Phil. He wasn’t ashamed of Phil. He loved him, and he’d fight for him, every day if he had too.

Just like he had last night. And that morning.

Dan pressed his phone to his ear the moment he stepped onto Phil’s doorstep, ringing Phil at the same time as he pressed the doorbell. A part of him was terrified that Mr. or Mrs. Lester would answer the door instead of Phil, and ruin his sudden and abrupt plans for the morning, so he only pressed the doorbell once just in case.

After all, he didn’t need the Lester’s hating him, too.

As Dan’s phone rang out and sent him to Phil’s voicemail, Dan found himself chuckling and rolling his eyes. Of course his boyfriend was still asleep. Dan had said he was going to come in as early as possible, but clearly Phil wasn’t any more used to waking up early than Dan was. That was too bad, because as soon as Phil woke up, he was going to be getting one hell of a wake up call.

Pulling his phone away from his ear, Dan redialed Phil’s number, and waited impatiently on the doorstep for the call to be put through. No one was answering the door, either.

Dan’s phone call rang out again, and Phil’s all too familiar voicemail played for him a second time.

Just as Dan was about to pull his phone away from his ear and call Phil once more, the sound of pounding feet came from inside, and then Phil’s door was rather suddenly wrenched open. Surprised, Dan’s eyes went wide and he nearly dropped his phone as he took a step backwards.

Holy shit.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phandom #phan #phan smut #phanfictioncatalogue

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