#do i or do i not want a kanken backpack

[renedemarie82]

I need a magic 8 ball to help me make decisions

[copperbadge]

In terms of accessories, some people are into collecting shoes, or graphic tee-shirts, or watches, or hats; my thing, mainly, is bags. Specifically messenger bags and backpacks. I own more than I need by about an order of magnitude and I've made several myself, and the only justification I have for keeping them is that I do keep them hung on a wall on display. And because I see them, I often swap out one bag for another. So they do get used.

I've been doing a lot of decluttering -- weeding my clothes, winter gear, kitchen goods, et cetera -- and I've begun to joke that I have so much stuff to donate I should just open my own pop-up thrift shop. But it is going to become a little bit of an issue when I'm done packing it all up and I actually do have to donate it somewhere. I have access to a couple of methods of donating clothing, and I suspect I'll be asking someone to drive me to the local thrift dropoff for the rest, but it's going to be a process regardless.

I've decided, though, that once everything actually is donated, not just weeded and packed up but out of the place, I'm going to treat myself to a reward -- I've wanted a Fjallraven bag forever, and I've never been able to justify buying one because it's a lot of money to pay for something that I realistically could get from Target, just not quite as stylish. And honestly I prefer messenger bags to backpacks.

But I like the idea of trading out this literal carload of stuff for a single, elegant Fjallraven bag, and it'll motivate me to actually get it done, at least I hope. I'm not sure what I'm getting yet but I've narrowed it to three options -- either the traditional Fjallraven Kanken in a fun color scheme, one of the very few shoulder/messenger bags they carry, or one of their hybrid duffle-backpacks for travel. I love my Open Story travel backpack, but they're not terribly durable (plastic fixtures and cheap zips) and as they say, I feel like a Fjallraven travel pack could fix me. :D

[ironmedley]

I do not want to work all weekend, and I want it to be Monday so my thrifted kanken backpack will be here in the mail

[averagelonelypotato]

list of things I want but don’t need (everyone has them so I kind of want one as well ): 

-new phone ( i love my home button, i’ll never give up on her)

- Ipad and apple pen 

-apple watch

-kanken backpacks (I kinda want one but I seriously do not need it)

-the sony headphones wh-1000xm4

-the hair claws (tried to use it but it never could cooperate with my hair

-drivers license and car 

[lazanskywrites]

my favorite indie songs

My favorite blog post we've been assigned so far this semester was to explain our favorite songs. I chose to rank my top five songs from the 2014 Tumblr Girl era because there are too many songs I like to compile into a top five list.

In this blog post, I want to compile my top five indie songs. I've always been a lover of indie and alternative since I've been able to stream my own music. Ever since I can remember I've listened to artists like Foster the People, MGMT, and The 1975. I'm not trying to seem "different" from everyone else, but I never was truly drawn to rap music growing up. I love the soft, abstract, and light sounds that make up the indie genre.

Here are my top five indie songs of all time...

#5 "Walking on a Dream" by Empire of the Sun

This is a classic indie anthem, especially in the summertime. "Walking on a Dream" is without a doubt their most popular song, but there are countless other indie classics from EOTS. This song reminds me specifically of my freshman year of high school. Football games, my first homecoming, and spending countless sleepless nights with friends (before we were all employed and busy).

#4 "Loving is Easy" by Rex Orange County

Like many other fans, this was the first song of Rex Orange County that I'd heard which made me a fan. The tune is so soft and catchy that there's quite literally no way to dislike it. Alex O'Connor's voice is distinguishable and perfect for indie ballads. "Loving is Easy" reminds me of 2018 when indie became the trend. Kanken backpacks, checkered Vans, scrunchies, and HydroFlasks were all the rave when this song was popularized. Other good Rex Orange Country songs are all from his older albums (in my opinion). During 2018 I was also listening to his songs "Apricot Princess", "Never Enough", and "Sunflower".

#3 "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John

I LOVE this song. No indie fan could ever hate it because of its sheer catchiness paired with light and airy sounds. I remember listening to this song in the car with my friend who'd recently gotten her license. We were all sophomores during the 2021 "return to normality" post-Covid school year and it was easily the best school year. We went to campus every other day, so each day that the majority of us didn't have school we'd spend its entirety together having sleepovers almost every night. As soon as we all began to get our licenses we felt so grown up and invincible. This song pays tribute to my friends and me as we lived in naivety and bliss. I think any of us would pay hundreds of dollars if it meant we could go back to being sixteen-year-old girls.

#2 "ILYSB" by LANY

Each one of these songs has a specific time in my life it's associated with. This song holds the most prominent memories for me. My best friend and I used to spend hours together listening to indie hits and reading...this is embarrassing...fanfiction of our favorite celebrities together. What else is there to do when you're eleven-year-old middle schoolers with iPhones and laptops that have unrestricted Internet access? We would sit side by side and share the cute stories we'd found with each other. It must make sense now as to why I'm so good at navigating Tumblr; I've been using it since I was eleven. Unrelated to being typical tween girls, this song will definitely be on my wedding playlist. I just think it's cute not only to sing to a partner but also to a best friend.

#1 Flashed Junk Mind by Milky Chance

What else is there to say besides I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EVERY LITTLE THING ABOUT THIS SONG! No, the lyricism isn't as sentimental as "ILYSB" but this was one of my top listened-to songs throughout my teens. I saw one of my celebrity crushes at the time (2017 Finn Wolfhard in case you were curious...specifically 2017) post about how he liked it, and of course, I had to follow suit. I doubted how much I'd like this song though. It's the ideal summer anthem with a funky beat and easy-to-follow lyrics. There's nothing to dislike about "Flashed Junk Mind" or Milky Chance as a band. If you like this song and want something a little slower, check out their song "Stolen Dance".

I love everything about the indie scene. The music, the fashion, and the emotions connected to it. Indie as a genre can provoke feelings of joy, heartbreak, and passion. These songs, along with others, will definitely be the songs I play loudly on a Sunday afternoon until my kids beg me to turn them down. Spoiler, I'll only turn them up.

[munsonology]

saw you post about big brother. Maybe that's why you get called Vanessa, you give off her vibes. Intelligent, bit paranoid, intricate, and everyone threatened by you

Bestie you might be right because I saw bit paranoid and went

lmaoooooooooo 💀💀💀💀

I’m a soft cinnamonroll uwu tho 😭 I’m the least threatening person. I have a kanken backpack and a Kiki’s delivery service lunch bag 😩

Edit: actually this is so accurate because the older ladies were talking about somebody in the office down the hall who wants to tell them how to do their job and when I asked she said ‘be prepared 😌’.

so I went and asked one of the younger guys and he told me but then said ‘I’ll let you make your own judgement call’ which basically means this bitch is psychotic 💀

[bironism]

It’s pretty when it rains. I’m feeling a bit empty. I need a walk the damp streets, and I also need to get a new lighter and some stuff from the shop, but my sister took the key we share and she’s like, camping at a bf I disapprove of, so I either wait on her or message someone from the house to get the door for me, 

and I’d prefer if everything was as simple as heading out in your slippers. Life should be like that; I think it is if you’re numb or happy enough. I guess it’s my cue to take the evening xan (prescribed, don’t worry) and some painkillers for the muscle ache. Then I’ll head out and feel the calm hit me like a cloud as I somehow light a cigarette with the useless lighter I seek to replace.

[miekasa]

Things the aot characters would match with u ?

Eren

Sneakers. It makes him somewhat giddy when you guys wear them at the same time, particularly if it was unplanned. 

He just thinks they look nice, and it’s something that you guys can match with that doesn’t look completely obvious or cringe. You can wear them at the same time or on your own, but for Eren it’s really just knowing that you’re wearing something he bought you.

Not matching matching per se, but one of my favorite things to think about is Eren having his key necklace, and buying you one with a lock on it. Again, matching but not over the top.

Jean

Maybe simple jewelry? Like plain, gold or silver bracelets/rings—nothing too much, but you guys still know it’s there. Watches might be a bigger splurge, but he’s willing to do it, especially if they’re nice and classy.

Once he knows you’re okay with jewelry, you’ve gotta be careful with him. He’ll ice you out if you don’t stop him. He has a sorta refined taste where you’ll get something, and think “Hey, this is really nice,” and then boom, the price tag could pay for your courses for a semester. 

Other little things like matching/coordinating phone cases, you guys each having mugs from the same place, even little charms on your keychains that match together.

Water bottles. This was more so him buying you one (and yes, it was an overpriced Hydroflask) to make sure you’re drinking enough water. If you don’t think he’ll force feed it to you if he notices that your bottle is heavy, then you thought wrong.

Levi

Lots of the things are pretty practical, and are the result of Levi buying it for you because he thought you needed it, or needed a better version of it; so, in a way, it’s not intended to match, but because he buys what he already has and knows works, you end up with a copy, so inadvertent matching 😌

For example, he’ll buy you mittens or gloves if you don’t have any, or if he thinks the ones you have are shit and need better insulation. They happen to be the same ones he has because he knows those work, so now you’re matching. Same goes for things like lunch boxes, water bottles, even the towels in your apartment.

Plants. Again, he probably intervened saying you need some source of fresh air in your house, or something smart like that. If you don’t have a green thumb, don’t worry because he’s practically taking care of it for you. Occasionally he’ll note how your plant is doing in comparison to his and it’s pretty cute to hear his little plant parent rambles while he’s watering them.

Matching aprons. It’s cute, don’t let him tell you otherwise; and if he does, you know he’s fronting, because he always wears his when he’s cooking, anyway.

Connie

Tattoos if you’re down for it. It can be as simple or stupid or extravagant as you want, you honestly have full control over the design even tho it’s going on his body please. He doesn’t care—he trusts you, and he wants to match with you, so whatever you want, wherever you want it!

Sneakers for him too, but I think he’d go as far as to have matching/coordinating outfits with you. Particularly sweats and crew necks and hoodies, and if you guys are traveling together, then you’re more than likely matching at the airport.

He probably put some stupid sticker or decal on your car that you’re stuck with now. Good luck. He put the same shit on his so at least you can look dumb together.

Armin

Stickers, whether it be on your laptop or phone case or water bottle or even just in your room; he’s got one and you’ve got one.

Stuffed animals. He has a lot that he just buys for you, but you guys go on a Build-a-Bear date and make bears of each other at some point, and it’s kinda cute. He keeps his on a shelf close to his bed so it’s safe and sound.

Stationary, like pencil cases and pens and such. They don’t have to be fancy with your initials engraved at the top, but you guys buy them in sets of 2 so you have the same stuff, and get cases to store everything that match, too.

Porco

Something cute that you put in his car that he doesn’t have the heart to remove, no matter how much he bitches about it. Like those little sticky rubber ducks with the glasses that go on your dash.

Gym bags. Yes, he’s a gym bro. No, he doesn’t care if you’re not. Allegedly they were “two for one” at the Adidas outlet, so now you’ve got one. It can double as a duffle bag if you’re not getting any practical gym use of it. 

You could probably get him to wear matching rings as long as they’re not too obvious; just a simple gold band is really the furthest he’ll go (he never takes it off, but don’t point it out or he’ll chuck it at you).

Mikasa

Some kind of accessory—bracelets, hats, necklaces, scarves. She’s into that kinda stuff, just don’t make a big deal of it when you’re in public or she’ll get embarrassed please.

Pins. You’ve got one on your jacket and she’s got one on her book bag or something. Again, they don’t have to be identical; you can get two different Pokémon, or references to a show you both like.

Lipstick. You don’t have to both wear it at the same time, but it’s still something sweet to have.

Sasha

Charm bracelets! The charms themselves don’t all have to be identical (tho at least one of them would be), but just the fact that you guys both have them and are collecting charms at a similar rate is cute.

Definitely matching cups or mugs or something of the like. Kitchen towels with the same pattern or each other’s initials on them. Matching shot glasses, too, obviously. 

Your home/lock screens match, too. Pictures of each other from the same day or of the same scenery or something. She always lets you know when she’s gonna change hers so you can change yours too.

Annie

Hoodies. They can be solid colored, or two if the same ones just in different colors. Hoodies are kind of her go-to look, and nothing that draw too much attention anyways; so she doesn’t mind having the same one as you.

Backpacks. Again, they don’t have to be exactly the same and can be relatively simple in design; and is something most people have anyway, so it’s not outlandish. She seems like a Kanken kinda girl, so you both can have one in different colors.

Pieck

Jewelry. Strikes me as the type to be okay with getting each other’s initials on necklaces or earrings or something, but it could also be more covert like having each other’s birthstones on a pendant.

Speaking of stones, you’re getting crystals whether you like it or not. They will be on your nightstand, they will be in your car, they will be in your jacket pocket, they might even be in your bra and don’t ask her how she got them there without you knowing. They’re in hers too if that makes you feel any better.

Hange

Jackets or sweaters. Wanna say matching cardigans in particular, and yeah, they’re pretty ugly but that’s the point! To bask ironically in the pointed ugliness of them all so much that it becomes cute to you.

Snow globes. Hange is obsessed with them, whenever you travel they collect one and sometimes even if they just pass a store at home and see two unique (translation: weird looking) ones, they’ll pick them up. So, congrats.

Socks with funky patterns on them. Beer bottles, weed plants, zodiac signs, dinosaurs—whatever Hange buys, they buy in packs of two so at least you’ll never run out of ankle socks.

[rangingfarandwide]

Backpack Cleaning: 10 Step Guide

Many of us use the same backpack for years on end. If (like me) you've never actually cleaned the thing before and are wary of putting it in the washing machine, here is a simple guide to get you started.

Disclaimer: I use a Kanken which is made of synthetic material. If your kit is made of other stuff, it's probably best to find a material specific or manufacturer recommended way of cleaning it.

Use gentle soap/ laundry detergent and if you're unsure, do a patch test on a hidden part of the material first.

Beware, the waterproofing! If your bag has a waterproof layer in/on the material, it may not be best to wash it unless you have a way of resealing it. Again, check the manufacturer recommendations...

First things first. Empty that bag. Depending on how long it's been since you did that, maybe throw on some PPE and keep a bin nearby. Remember to remove any pins or badges!

Once it's (mostly) empty- go outside, turn it upside down and give it a good shake. Get out the sand from that 2017 beach trip. Brush off any dried mud, leaves, moss etc

If the bag looks relatively clean you may just want to spot wash it from here. (To do this, grab a soft cloth and some warm water to give it a very gentle scrub to get those grubby areas clean. Then skip to step 8)

If you're doing a full wash then now is the time to fill up a basin (I use the bathtub) with lukewarm water and a tiny dash of that soap/detergent. Dunk your bag a couple of times and make sure to turn it inside out as well

Take your soft cloth and carefully scrub the bag down inside and out, paying special attention to handles, straps and places that often touch the ground

Once that's done, drain the water from the basin and rinse the bag with cold water

You may have to repeat this washing process a few times to get it really clean. Just be gentle so you don't damage the colour

Turn the bag inside out and hang it in a well ventilated area, turning it out a couple times to help it fully dry

Next is reapplying that waterproof layer (if applicable). Grab your spray or wax and read the instructions on the packaging to properly do it

There you have it! Now it's time to pack it up again and put those pins and badges back on

Now begins the process of getting the bag dirty again! Happy travels!

[misogyny]

I am coming here so I can more easily complain about the new Monster High generation since Twitter's limit is agitating.

So, for one, I love Draculaura's new body type. It fits her well, it's cute, and her doll itself is quite endearing. However, I hate her new look; She is painfully TikTok. I hate the split hair, it is not nearly as cute as her old hairstyle and color, and it just does not fit her. I do not like her clothing, either, it has none of the charm of the old clothing with no creative takes on.. anything (jewelry/shoes/etc). The charm of her old clothing is completely wiped. I also am not a fan at all of her new personality. She is a completely new character, and one that I am not a fan of. A true bastardization of her.

Lagoona is just disgusting, sorry. Nothing about her is redeeming. Her clothing is boring and ugly, her 3D and doll model is boring. Over all, none of the choices made really do anything to enhance her design. She looks messy and just generally unappealing. Every change they made to her was another blow to her and she just turned out a complete mess.

Clawdeen's changes are mostly just strange. I understand the reason why they wanted to change so much about her, but I just don't think the direction they went with her was the right choice. She is not the same character in the slightest, and it is disappointing to see. Her clothes are especially underwhelming since she was "the most fashionable" and they turned her into the average Californian art student. Minus Kanken backpack. Another character that stayed the same in name alone.

I think Cleo is okay and they made a few improvements in her design but only in makeup, Ghoulia is bad, Abbey is painfully boring/ugly from what I've seen, and Frankie is okay... but, again, boring.

Base line, I just hate the new fashion so much; it is unoriginal, boring TikTok "alt" fashion. Where with the original generation everything was very unique and inventive in most of the designs, this is just average clothing nowadays as opposed to how the original was all edgy Hot Topic inspired alt styled, and it is just embarrassing to see how generic even the alt monster girl doll line has become.

The shoes with the crazy heels, all of the jewelry with each of the girls' personal flair, the unique hair styles, all replaced... with what? I just don't think it is interesting at all anymore. Obviously, yes, I am an adult now with an interest in dolls, so these are not for me, but the quality of everything just seems to have gone downhill with this new generation and it has none of the same charm. It's Shein clothing with clunkily put together aesthetics. It isn't "bizarre" or "weird" anymore, it's boring, and drab, and generic.

I also think despite the fact that Frankie is nonbinary now, I feel that they have somewhat actually regressed in "progressiveness". Every single woman has long hair now, for some reason? Including Toralei. Most of the characters before did, of course, have long hair before, but Toralei in particular was one character that never did... and on top of that, they made her wear a skirt. This is just disgusting to me, personally. They could not leave the (relatively, with no competition in the slightest) butchest girl in MH alone, and instead had to make her super feminine as well. And look like a TikToker, too, of course. You could argue here that they did it so that the main characters weren't being bullied by the butchest girl in the series, but I honestly never GAF as a child because I thought she was super cute. I also think the removal of her facial markings is sickening.

On top of that, I do think they missed the fact that a lot... of the young girls who watched this show imagined these characters dating. Which is really odd after all they did with EAH and Darling Charming. A lot of this is to do with the fact that the school was mostly populated by women, and the fact that everyone's boyfriends were basically background characters that only ever showed up for an episode or two, just to cause drama for their girlfriends (which made me dislike them more and want the girls to be together more). The girl's friendship was always stronger than whatever guy they got together with for however many episodes. Clawdeen and Draculaura were perfect together in my mind... and they threw the aforementioned together with Deuce?! This is unforgivable. Obviously, the last problem is one I just find really weird personally based on what I thought was cute as a child, but I really don't think they/them Frankie is doing much when all of the girls are still straight.

Also, Deuce in the live action looks like Jughead from Riverdale, which agitates me further.

Another thing that is kind of just nitpicky is that I really hate the proportions on the legs and shoes in this new animation style? This is just so weird looking, I can not get over how tall and short her shoes are and how big her calves are compared to her thighs.

Anyways, I doubt anyone will really read this, or care too much for my Monster High opinions. But I needed to talk about it somewhere. If you do end up reading this and have anything to add, go ahead. I'm not happy with this generation no matter what, though, due to the fact that I feel like it has been stripped down to it's bare essentials with nothing good or new to offer, but I welcome opposing opinions.

[jamiewintons]

hii!! I love your writing so much!! 😭💕 I hope you're still doing matchups or else this is awkward lmao

Name/Pronouns: Alicia, she/her

Personality: So friends have always described me as an agent of chaos which surprises me cos I'm always like isn't this just normal?? I've also been told I'm very "all or nothing". I tend to be either super high energy wanting to do anything and everything, super talkative etc, or I'm exhausted and lowkey ghosting everyone cos I was sleeping all day lmao. I like making people laugh and don't mind looking dumb/doing something super dangerous to do so. I can be antagonistic sometimes cos I like riling people up for fun haha, sometimes I feel bad afterwards though so I'll say "I'm joking!!" if I get worried it came off as mean. I'm also pretty good at giving advice, I've been told I'm "wise for my age" but I'm an eternal child in my opinion 😅

Appearance: I'm 5'4", but I have really long legs for my height so its hard to buy trousers 😭. I have wavy/curly dark brown hair that goes down to my mid-back that's blonde at the ends from when I used to bleach my hair. My eyes are hazel, I smile and laugh a lot even in normal conversations so my face is like :D constantly. My style is just... comfort lmao, I want to figure out a cute style but I don't really have one!! I mostly wear A LOT of sweaters cos I'm ALWAYS cold and jeans with converse, I don't really like wearing skirts/dresses that much, I try to still dress cute-ish though with like sweaters with hearts on them or stuff like that. Oh and I always carry my yellow kanken backpack because whenever I carry a purse I set it down and forget it lmao

Likes: anything colorful!! coffee!! spicy food, hanging out with friends, chocolate, memes, cute things, going out at 3am to a 24hour diner

Dislikes: cleaning, doing any kind of boring chore really like laundry etc, routine, appointments, being told I can't do something

Any hobbies/interests: Cooking, sleeping, cuddling, going to try new restaurants/food/recipes, watching tv/movie marathons, learning languages, camping/road trips, video games, drawing

What I'm looking for: I want someone who can match my energy but also is there for me if that makes sense? 😅 In my previous relationships I felt like I always had to take care of them and be a mom/therapist/personal chef, and I felt like I couldnt be vulnerable or say/do stupid things like I wanted to because I always had to fill those roles for them so I'd like a relationship where I can just be myself. I tend to make fun of someone if I like them so ideally someone who can look past that and not get offended. Also someone who's fine with me being really clingy or is just as clingy as I am, if I'm in a relationship I lowkey wanna be around them 24/7 and its kinda problematic 😭. I can't really think of anything I'd avoid just that they're not boring lmao

A random fact about yourself: my favorite sesame street character is Big Bird cos he's yellow and floofy 💛

I pair you with...

Chris Pitt-Goddard!

If there's someone that is the exact opposite of "boring", that someone is Chris Pitt-Goddard. To me, the two of you sound quite similar with your chaotic, "all-or-nothing" energy, and I think you would make a really fun couple! If you're feeling super energetic, Chris is right there with you, but if you're tired and want to sleep all day, he's happy to just cuddle with you.

Chris definitely wouldn't mind you making fun of him in an affectionate way, in fact, I think he'd find it very attractive. He'd make fun of you right back in a flirty manner, but he's never outright mean (to you at least). He'd also love that you don't mind making a fool of yourself, and he would think that you're hilarious.

If you're clingy, Chris loves that, because he's super clingy too! He'll want to be around you all the time and he'll be glad that you feel the same way. He'll probably want the two of you to be together 24/7 even when it's inconvenient for other people.

The only problem you'll have is figuring out who will do the household chores.

Want to be matched with a Baynton Boy? Check out all of the information here!

[pbandjesse]

I don't understand why but the cocktail hour just got cut very short. I thought I was going to be back here with people till 7:00 but Angie just came around and grabbed everyone and I normally know why. Not the worst thing in the world. I'm having a good time. Maybe more people will come back but for now I'm just chilling.

Today was a pretty good day. I did accidentally set my alarm to p.m. instead of a.m. so I woke up late but it didn't actually matter. The only thing I had to do today was come to the museum at 5:00. So I wanted to enjoy the rest of my day and I felt a lot better today. I was barely dizzy at all. And so when I got up I just felt pretty good.

I thought that I would get more stuff done. But it ended up not happening that way. I don't feel that bad about it it's more just like tomorrow is the last day of the month and I am very behind on my knitting. So I'm hoping I can get a lot of that done in the morning. And I still have to finish all of our thank you cards. But I have time. There's no real timeline for that.

I got dressed and I felt pretty good and then I got to work on all of my signs for the staffs. I only did the one side with the words but I'm very happy with how they came out. I will probably try to attack the other side doing the animals later this week. Maybe Tuesday. But in general I just was plugging along.

I didn't really want to do anything else though. I thought about going out for the afternoon before I had to be here at the museum. But then James texted me something about coming home and then I got confused if they got the car. Turns out they didn't have the car. So they told me I should go out and enjoy the rest of my day. So I went for a drive.

I really love my outfit today so I was feeling very good. And I figured out a different way of trying my hair last night after I got home. I'm just trying the first two under layers and leaving the top two layers to air dry. And my hair was great today so I think that was a good move. But I drove out to the value village and I found some really cool stuff.

I got a little fake kanken backpack which is something I have been on the hunt for. for some reason everywhere I've looked has had them more than $30 and that was not going to happen so finding one for $5 was nice. I also found this cute little evening bag that has pearls on it and I just loved. I almost didn't get it but I saw someone else picking up after I put it down and I was like oh no I want that so much. So once they put it down I went back and got it. And I got a couple other small things. And I got a new fleece and a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt that I absolutely did not need but I am going to put the new spelling of food talk that I found on it. Because I think that will be funny.

But the funniest thing that actually happened while I was out was I was turning a corner and a woman and her husband and her two kids were walking towards me. And she said that I look like an asshole still wearing a mask out in public. I like couldn't believe it. Like her kids were like three and five maybe and she just fully cursed at me for nothing. It was crazy I was flabbergasted.

But it was just funny so I didn't really care that much and I paid and I left. I drove over to five guys to have dinner. The girl there told me that she loved my outfit and that my dress was very pretty. And then I walked over to the Target to look around. There was an entirely too much Christmas stuff and that made me very overwhelmed but that is fine.

Honestly I'm looking forward to Christmas this year. It's our first Christmas being married and James loves Christmas so much. But I wish we could have enjoyed Halloween a little bit more. I did end up finding a bunch of stuff that I absolutely didn't need. But I got sweetp some birthday stuff. And I found this beautiful zip up corset top. And I have been on the hunt for something like it for like a year. And so when I found one that was lower than the prices I have been seeing online and fit me really well and made me feel great I was super excited.

but the line delete was so long and I had budgeted my time exactly so that would be on time to get here and not too early. So when the line was very very long I was nervous. But then I register opened up and it was fine. I paid for my stuff and I headed out of there.

And I got here right on time. And it has been a pretty chill night. The caterer has all of the cocktail hour stuff way down by the window wall so it was kind of weird getting people to come up here. But I still talk to a dozen or so people and so far it's been nice. I'm wondering if this means I can go home early because no one is back here and they seem to be on a different timeline than normal. But the wedding was beautiful and everyone seems to be having a really good time. They're not as like excited about the history of last night but they are very interested in everything so it's still good.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I think what me and James are going to do is our own stuff in the morning. James is going to go in a long bike ride and I'm going to try to catch up on my knitting. And then we're going to do Halloween pictures probably and then I think we're going to see an opera at theater project. I'm very unclear what that is but I'm looking forward to it. I always like being at the theater.

I hope you all have a great night tonight. And get a good night's rest and feel great in the morning. Take care of each other!!!

[jtsfavslut]

Falling [G.D]

Description: Just when Y/N thought she was over Grayson, he pops back into her life, making her wonder if you could fall for the same person twice. Inspired by ‘Falling’ - Harry Styles. 

Warnings: None, Just sad stuff lmao!!!

Word Count: 4K+

Also a special thanks to cole [ @blazedgraysons​] for keeping up with my annoying ass questions while I wrote this, and for helping me and giving me advice I love you <333

   Her small feet carried her body down the familiar street, cars zooming past her as her body softly bumped into the others around her. The loud sounds from the environment being blocked away by the soft, yet loud music that was coming out of an old pair of Airpods she had gotten for Christmas back in High School.

This was Y/N's daily routine. Get up early in the morning, do her business in the bathroom, get dressed, and walk over to her favorite cafe. The Beachwood cafe had become Y/N's second home ever since she moved to L.A, spending most of her time there, before and after class.

A smile lit up her face as the familiar blue door came into her view, a content sigh falling past her lips as she got closer to the door.

The strong smell of coffee hit her nostrils as she walked inside, music being paused as she walked fully inside, giving her attention to the cashier that greeted her every morning, "Hi Y/N, your stuff is on your table," she smiled up at Y/N before pointing towards her usual table.

It was the one by the window in the corner of the shop, the bright yellow and blue floor illuminated her small journey to the table, where her coffee and breakfast sandwich happily waited for her to approach. She sat down, hand reaching into her Yellow Kanken backpack, another Christmas gift from high school that she dearly took care of, she pulled out a brown journal and a pen.

A journal filled with memories and random thoughts that popped in her head. Y/N thought writing things down was good for the mind and body. She believed that writing things down would help you keep your thoughts safely, and lock memories into place without overworking your mind. A pen that has been through many journeys on the same yet different page.

All pages were the same until the pen went over it, recording things until the end of time. They were all the same until she wrote down her thoughts for the day.

Her small hand gripped onto the pen as she wrote down her thoughts from the previous night, coffee cup in the other hand as she slowly sipped the liquid.

Last night I thought of him again, just until I drifted off. I don't know why. It hasn't happened in months. Nothing bad, just a memoir of all of our memories together. Like the time we broke into the school's pool one night. Where he pushed me in with all my clothes on, then he jumped in and we made out by the stairs. Funny how we never got caught since cameras were around us. Or when we had our senior trips to the mountains in Colorado, and how he kept sneaking into the girls' room just to be with me. We were lucky we didn't get caught again. I tried to not keep thinking about him. I know it's time to finally drop it and move on, but how? How do I erase all those memories from my brain? How am I supposed to just drop it and move along? Just how? I don't need or want to know why just how.

She softly slammed the notebook closed, right before she could feel a slight burning in her eyes and a rock starting to form in her throat. The subject of her and a past lover that she was still holding onto, still being a deep wound to her.

She thought about and remembered Grayson every day. After all, he was her everything during her entire High School life, and he still was…...sort of.  Grayson and Y/N started dating in the 9th grade, right about in the middle of the year. He asked her out behind the school's bleachers during lunchtime, a mixture of flowers from his mom's garden that she shyly accepted from him after she said yes. That was followed by their date to the movie theater, where he held her close to him every time she faked being a little scared, not that he could tell, and three dates after he officially asked her out where she said yes again, and that was followed by an accidental kiss, he was leaning towards her cheek when she accidentally moved her head to the side, causing his lips to land on hers. Neither of them complained, just smiled at each other and carried on.

They went on for 6 years, all of high school and two college years, where he decided to break it off because of distance. He went off on how being across the country from one another was hard, and the fact that the time difference from New York to California was 3 and 4. She didn't complain. Didn't give a reason as to why not, even if she had trillions of them. She didn't try to change his mind. She simply said okay, and wished him the best. She still loved him though.

The words that her grandpa had spoken replayed in her brain every time she questioned why she still thought about him; "You never stop loving anyone sugar, you just kinda love someone stronger. If you stop loving them, then you never loved them to begin with" She thought about that, and that made her feel better. Maybe there was someone out there who she would love more than she loved Grayson.

With a quiet sigh, she put her journal away, switching it with a book she picked up at the library a few days prior, yet read a million times.

To Kill A Mockingbird is a book she read many times in school, mostly everyone has. It's the one book from school she actually enjoyed, so she picked it up from the book shop down the street from her apartment before work one day, and didn't get to read it until now.

She opened the book with a small smile, the sensation of the book against her finger bringing nothing but happiness to her, and took her mind off whatever was bothering her. She lost herself in the book, almost done with half of the book before her alarm rang, signaling it was time for work. She left a 20 on the table after putting all her stuff away in her backpack and walking out of the shop and towards her job which was a paid internship at a local hospital downtown, all she did was watch and help out with minor cases like cuts, sprains, X Ray's and the occasional stuff like questioning. She entered the hospital, sanitizing herself and changing into her uniform, walking over to her area, that being the Pediatrics Emergency room where her boss, mentor, whatever you might want to call him, Dr. Reyez, and the rest of the team were waiting for her.

"Morning everyone," she chirped at the tired yet awake health care workers, who all had smiles on their faces. "Morning Y/N, you're going to be practicing by yourself today, can you handle it?" Dr. Reyez asked her, which she just nodded her head with a smile. There wasn't a single ounce of doubt in her brain.

"I'm pretty sure yes! And I can just reach out to you guys if anything, right?"

"Yeah, just page us if anything. Your first patient should be here soon, just go wait by the desk," Reyez instructed her and that's exactly what she did. She sat on the desk for over 20 minutes until someone came in with a toddler covered in rashes.

"Hi baby, I just need to ask you and mommy a few questions, yeah?" She sweetly and patiently asked the 5 year old as his mom was filling out some papers, to which he just nodded his head.

"Okay, Xavion, did you eat something new today? Maybe something you've never eaten?" She asked and both the mom and son nodded their heads.

"Do you think he was allergic to something?" The mom asked, causing Y/N to shrug.

"Well, it depends. We need to get an allergy test for him. It doesn't hurt or anything, we just scratch and pour a drop of the allergen over it and see how they react. Mom, do you happen to remember what he ate today for the first time?" She replied by recording some notes down on her clipboard before telling a nurse to get an Allergy Antibody Test ready.

"He ate everything that he usually does except for some broccoli I gave him," the mom replied and Y/N nodded her head before writing it down on her clipboard and walking them to the testing room.

Once the results came back around half an hour later, Xavion was, in fact, allergic to broccoli, and other things that Y/N had to explain to the mother. She got about 15 minutes of break time before Reyez called her another minor emergency.

"It's an 11 year old, possible breakage or sprain to the leg, you can handle this one right?" He asked and she nodded her head, "Good, they're in room 217, good luck," he added before sending her off to the room.

She quickly made her way over to it, grabbing her clipboard on the way, "Hi, I'm Dr.Y/LN, I'm going to be taking care of you guys today! May I have the child's name and date of birth please?" She nicely asked as she walked inside the room, quickly walking over to the desk area that was in the corner and placing her stuff down.

"Uhhh, Caleb Dolan, August 17, 2008," a deep voice that she could recognize from anywhere spoke as she turned around. Her heart dropped at the sight of Grayson in front of her. She tried to reassemble herself, after all, she couldn't make any mistakes right now, Reyez was trusting her and she couldn't afford to mess the opportunity up.

"Caleb, August 17, 2008," she mumbled as she wrote it down on her piece of paper, "Caleb, do you mind telling me what happened, babe?" She asked with a smile on her face. Her smile turned into a small frown as she looked up at the boy who happened to be in pain.

"Me and uncle Gray were practicing for the soccer game that's next and I fell on the mud and hit my leg really hard," he explained as she walked towards him nodding her head.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, One being okay while 10 being the worst, how would you rate the pain?" She asked, walking over to the walk to grab a pair of gloves, putting them on, and walking back towards him.

"Uhh a seven," he replied and she nodded her head.

"Okay Caleb, just know this might hurt a little okay? It's just protocol to check if it's dislocated, broken, or sprained okay?" She asked and he nodded his head, a few tears falling down his face from fear. Grayson quickly leaned down to wipe off his face whispering a quiet 'you'll be okay' as Caleb grabbed his hand.

"Can you try and move your ankle for me? Just try and move it," she explained and he muttered at quiet yes before moving his foot in a slow circle, she nodded her head before placing both hands over his ankle checking for any bumps, which there were none to find, "Luckily for you Caleb, it's just sprained! There are no bumps meaning it's not dislocated, and you can move it meaning it's not fractured! Just to make sure, we're going to need an X Ray' just to make sure there are no hidden surprises yeah? Dr. Lindsey will do those with you, and I'll be right here when you come back," she smiled up at the boy before Dr. Lindey moved him to a wheelchair and took him to the X Ray room, leaving Y/N and Grayson alone in painful silence.

"So this is what you do? This is where you work?" Grayson was the first to speak after a couple of quiet seconds,

She cleared her throat and nodded her head, placing her hands inside her white jacket, "Yeah. It's a paid internship so it's basically a job, what about you? What are you doing here?" She asked to make direct eye contact with him.

"Moved here after me and E graduated, looking for some roles and an agent," he spoke, his voice not as deep yet shakier than when he first spoke.

"Any luck with that?"

"Yeah. We've landed a few small roles here and there," he answered and she just nodded her head.

"That's good! I'm glad everything's working out for you," She gave him a genuine smile before continuing to fill out Caleb's paperwork.

"Listen, I know it's been 2 years but-," Grayson began to speak before Y/N cut him off. "-Grayson just don't. I'm at work right now, and it's enough seeing you after 2 years, but I don't really need this right now. I'm sorry," She apologized before leaving the room to get some papers before walking back in, thankfully Caleb was already in the room when she walked in.

"I'm going to wrap your ankle up with this and then you're good to go, buddy. Make sure you don't apply pressure on it for two weeks. And carefully when you're playing any sport, I don't want you back here," she said while wrapping his ankle up carefully. She gave Grayson the discharge papers, their hands touching each other for a split second before she pulled away waving them off before walking to where her team was.

"That guy was looking at you intensely," Reyez pointed out, earning a glare from her.

"Don't even start," she rolled her eyes before taking a sip from her water bottle that was on her desk.

"Wait is that the?" Jacob, one of the nurses, asked and she nodded her head.

"Yeah, that's him," she sighed, shaking her head.

"Holly shit Y/N, I knew you said he was hot, but girl? That man is hotter than-,"

"Mackenzie, don't you dare," Y/N joked towards her other co-worker, "God why do you do this to me? I was almost over him and then you put him on my path again? The universe hates me,"

"I'd go for it again if I were you," Mackenzie encouraged earning a glare from her.

"Alright, leave her alone before she starts to crumble, Mackenzie go fill out reports, Y/N go take a breather," Reyez ordered them around and they all nodded their heads, going on their way to do what they were told.

. . .

Soft snores began to quietly run past her lips as she drifted off to sleep, all before a feeling of suddenly falling down an empty whole woke her up. She shook her head letting out a quiet 'fuck' before turning to look towards the clocks on her nightstand, 3:30 AM being brightly displayed on it. Y/N let out a loud sigh, knowing she wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon.

Her mind suddenly clouded with knotted thoughts and notions, too many of them just to focus on a single one. She pushed her body up, just enough for her to reach over and grab the small yellow backpack that she lazily threw on the floor, pulling her journal and pen out before throwing it back on the floor.

She clicked the pen and opened the journal, blank pages waiting to be filled up, her hand delicately moved along the paper as she scribbled letters and words on the empty pages, thoughts clearing out of her head, one by one.

I saw him today. He looked different. He's grown. After it all, it has been two years. His voice is deeper too. He wanted to talk, but I said no. Maybe if I did, I would fall for him again, or something. I'm doing just fine, so why did he have to move here. Anyway, Reyez finally allowed me to take care of patients by myself today. It was fun, I liked it, I guess. Luckily I'm free tomorrow because I can't sleep at all now. Maybe it's the repeating thoughts of him running through my mind, or just simply the lack of melatonin in my body right now. I'll probably go to the park tomorrow, stop at the cafe first then make my way there, but anyway, I'm going to try and sleep now.

It was a quick entry, nothing special, just her major thoughts being written down, just enough for her to feel better. She got up from the bed walking over to the kitchen grabbing a water bottle before leaning against the counter and sipping it. She crossed her bare legs over each other, looking out of the big window in her living room. Her favorite part about the apartment? It was the window that looked down on bright LA city. Y/N could sit there for hours and not notice the time pass by, she knows this because it happened before. She left the kitchen and walked towards the window, propping her body down on the small couch she had in front of the window. She laid her head on her hand, watching the few cars that sped down the street, the small yet bright red lights disappearing into the distance as her eyes followed them until they could.

Her eyes softly closed as she laid down on the couch, drifting off into another universe. The next morning she woke up at around 8 AM, doing her daily routine, except she stopped at the Cafe, picked her things up, and made her way to the park. It was an old park, there was an old playground that seemed like it hadn't been used in years. She sat down on an old bench drinking her coffee as she watched the scenery.

She didn't take her notebook out, her mind not having any thoughts, or at least no thoughts relevant enough for her to write down. She just took her time to take her surroundings in. She admired how the wind moved the trees, yet they were so strong they didn't crack. The way the birds lifted off whatever surface they were, and drifted off into the sky. She admired the rare butterflies that randomly appeared just to disappear once again. She simply admired the earth, something that she didn't do quite often; Always being too deep in her thoughts to actually study the things around her.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" Grayson's voice spoke out of nowhere, making Y/N do a slight jump in her seat as her heart raced.

She brought her hand up to her chest, a sigh falling past her lips as she glared at Grayson who was chuckling, "You fucking scared me,"

"Sorry," he sighed, sitting down next to her.

They both let out sighs. Both knowing that there was no escaping the conversation that was about to happen, a conversation that was long due.

"You could, hmm, you could go first," she spoke after a few moments of silence, throat dried making her clear it in the middle of some of her words.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. You were working, and Ummm, it wasn't the right place or time to talk about things. I'm also sorry because I never gave you an explanation as to why we should've broken up. After all, you didn't ask anyway," He softly spoke. He thought every word through, studied each meaning before letting them run past his lips.

"I didn't ask because it's what you wanted. Your decision was clearly made. I mean, I don't think breaking up with someone is a spontaneous thought is it? Your decision was made, and if you felt like I was holding you back, then I had to let you go, if I loved you, then I think I did the right thing." Her words were careful too. And quiet, so quiet feeling that if she spoke too loud the things around her would break.

"I didn't want to break up. I felt like it was the right thing to do, you know? We were always so busy, and we made time for each other, but it was exhausting. And when you were out with friends, I felt like I was annoying you or something," he sighed and she shook her head, the thought of her ever getting annoyed at Grayson's presence being absurd.

"Oh God absolutely not," she chuckled, "I thought I was annoying you. Like I wondered if you talked about me, or not. I wanted to know if I annoyed you because I felt like I did,"

It was true. In her journal, multiple pages were filled out with her question herself on whether Grayson talked about her or not. Even after the breakup, she wondered if he'll ever need her. Most pages were about him, all of her thoughts revolved around him, always.

"I did. All the time, to the point where I said your name subconsciously," he smiled, remembering the conversations he had with his friends about her, and how great she was.

"I did too, well not say but write," she sighed, leaning her back on the bench.

"You wrote about me?"

"Grayson you know I did, that's a dumb question," She shook her head, taking a sip of the coffee that was somehow still warm.

"Do you still write about me?" He asked and she stayed quiet, not knowing whether she should answer truthfully or not.

"Honestly speaking, I do. I write about everything that comes to mind, so sometimes? Yeah," she sighed, knowing that it would be easier if they just told the truth.

Maybe this was the closure that they both needed, yet never got. Maybe this was going to help her fully move on from him, and have thoughts that don't include her.

Or maybe not. Maybe this would help them reconnect. Y/N left it all up to the universe. She was a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that you can't change your future since it's already written about. When she got home after a couple of hours she took a shower, lit on her favorite candles, and did the expected. She took out her notebook and wrote.

We spoke today. He told me the reason why we broke up. It wasn't an intentional meeting though, I was just admiring nature. I was looking at the butterflies I think. He randomly spoke. And I know it was long due and needed so I just told him to say it. It's better to just get it over with than to just keep pushing it back, I think. He told me why he wanted to break up, which right now, sounds like a valid reason. I just wonder why he didn't just say it back then. It would've saved me a lot of nights, don't you think? He now knows I write about him, and where I go to write about him. Maybe I shouldn't go there anymore. It sounds out of this world I know. But maybe, just maybe, I should just close that chapter in my life.

There are just too many memories of him at Beachwood. That's where he surprised me the first time he came to visit. And it's where I write about him the most. I could find another cafe near here, there's plenty.

I just wonder if we're ever going to see each other again. If I'll ever fall for him again, if that is even possible. Because I don't think you could fall for the same person twice, right?

That was the last page in her journal. All the pages filled with her delicate letters, her writing being eternal. Filled with on-going words until the end, where an unanswered question laid. The weight that was once on her shoulders began to fade, and for once in her life, the thought of her future no longer made her afraid.

 This is the first time I’m proud of a something I wrote, so if this flops, I will deactivate! Just kidding, sort of. Anyways, yeah, I feel like my writing has improved, and as always, if you have any tips, and/or constructive critism, please, please, please drop them in my inbox, and don’t worry, I won’t say your hurting my feelings lmfao!! 

Tag List:   @guiltydols @evergreendolan @ydolanssss @rhyrhy462 @resilientdolan @simplyxdolxstyles @simplyxdolxstyles​ {If you wanna be added to my Tag List, just let me know :) lol}

[am-artist]

the wilds s2 e7 girls!! we are close to the end and i am close to the end of my rope

the fact they let gretchen twist these kids’ trauma into making them listen to her is so fucking sick! where is nora! what horrifying thing are we going to learn about seth!

wow the child casting is so good on this show

happy montage is way too happy what’s happening now. oh mommy abandonment issues? oh child self-harm lovely. well was expecting worse as the SA backstory but here we are

what’s so good with the girls is they all have their ups and downs / moments where they step up for the team. also this is rachel’s season i love her & her fucking self-determination.

fatin it must be said has also been flawless team mom the whole season.

seth needs a jumpscare at this point

of course seth is the #nice guy hung up on a girl friend dating someone else. please tell me he does not assault her while shes drunk.

fatin’s kanken backpack still holding up bless

kirin and josh’s friendship is good, but kirin’s mentality is a bit screwy and the influence is 50/50 good and bad. toxic masculinity is a bitch is the moral here. nice job gang.

poor fucking henry trying to passively coast through the entire mess on the island

seth and henry’s home dynamic is so specific and weird. not really feeling the focus on seth’s nice boy act. and since back home he has the girl and whatever now im expecting some other drama to unravel him enough to land in therapy with gretchen.

god seth makes me so uncomfortable with the buddy buddy look at me im so nice act. show some contrition or honesty jesus. you assaulted someone!!!! theres no reset button asshole!!!!

rachel being that girl once more. she gets through to leah. she gets through to toni. she gets through to herself.

just now connecting dots to dot’s dad and martha….. yeah ow

me @ seth when hes talking to henry: stay away from her! get a job!

even more so because seth clearly has a hand in this island bullshit so hes just! letting it happen! fuckkkk him!! so hard!!!!

why are we all moving on from this assault so casually gang. seth has to fucking psychologically admit to it at some point. yes his stance is logical but i feel like they should still make him face his actions not just circle around them via niceties.

oh hes going to do something insane to the boyfriend isnt he.

OH THE FUCKING CAT

leah bi confirmed thru her crush list babey

i have mixed feelings about shoni this season

well there goes the haircut. shelby’s bangs and wig are bad.

is there a second mole on the girls’ island??? i forget if this has been established before.

i feel for raf so bad bc hes got one singular friend who brought him into the fold & who he wants to help but that friend is a fucking piece of shit.

GOD seth’s complete refusal to act anything but jocularly normal is driving me insane.

ok well it’s driving everyone else insane too apparently! thank you showrunners.

oh yeah full abusive obsessive #nice guy it checks out. still not connecting the dots with what made him assault josh but the whole vibe is cohesively terrible. henry has it right.

oh my god gretchen shut the fuck up this guy needed an actual therapist not your enabling ass

honestly i keep saying this but she’s such a failure this whole experiment is such a flop. her dumbass justification is so stupid. terf logic

oh my god THIS random guy who knows leah??? are you joking

as stupid as it is gretchen’s awful son being her downfall would be just satisfying enough to be appreciable

[nalgenewhore]

Slipping Through My Fingers - Three

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

warnings: none 

an: let the games begin bitches 

Lorcan was desperate. 

The five-year old sitting on the floor of his room refused to get dressed and Lorcan’s nerves were getting frayed. He looked more like Lorcan than his mother, but his features softer than his father’s, his eyes brighter - a pale doe-brown. The freckles over his button nose were Essar’s, no doubt about it.  

“No, Dad.” Despite his words and negation, Lorcan was forever grateful that they spoke his mother tongue at home, as well as Essar’s. That their son was able to speak their languages, for their cultures and people to be kept alive for one more generation. They tended to mix and match with the two tongues, one from the northernmost part of Doranelle, and the other from deep within the Bogdano jungle. 

He sighed and ran a hand down his face, rubbing his eyes before he too sat on the floor. “Prince, please. Please just put on your pants.” 

“No, Dad. Don’t wanna go to school,” Kohana* said, his arms crossed tightly, glowering menacingly. He was already wearing his long-sleeved t-shirt, sweater and puffy jacket. The child insisted on wearing all his layers, even though it was hardly fall and he would definitely become way to warm by the end of the day.

“I know, kiddo,” Lorcan said, wishing that Essar was here to convince him. She’d always managed to soothe their son and sometimes - most of the time if he were honest - Lorcan felt like a failure. He’d asked every god, multiple times, why him. “I know you don’t.” 

His tone was defeated and Kohana looked up at him, his brows lowered. “If you know, why telling me to go?” 

That was a very good point. An excellent one. Lorcan resorted to his last point: bribery. “Alright, if you go to school, tonight when we get home, we’ll get ice cream and watch your favourite movie. Deal?” 

His son looked between the pants and him, narrowing his chestnut eyes, just like his mom. Finally, Kohana nodded. “Ok, Dad.” 

Ten minutes later, Kohana was concentrating on his laces, his tongue sticking out as he tied his shoes up. He was successful and clapped his little hands, “Look! Tied my shoes!” 

Lorcan smiled, his heart cracking just a bit, “Good job, baby.” Kohana stood up on the front hall bench and lifted his arms. Lorcan scooped him up and tossed him up, catching him before setting the little one down on his feet, smiling at his son’s pealing laughter. “We ready?” 

Kohana grabbed Lorcan’s pinky and ring finger after Lorcan helped him put on his mini rainbow Kanken backpack. “Yep! Go time!” 

As Lorcan opened the door, Kohana froze, “Oh no! I forgot to say bye bye to Tigger!” He raced back into their house, seeking out Essar’s old ragdoll cat. Lorcan had a love-hate relationship with Tigger, but even he smiled when he heard the kid’s little voice saying good-bye. He looked in the mirror beside Essar’s picture, noting the length of his hair had just finally begun to brush against his shoulders after he had cut it, out of respect and honour for the passing of his wife. 

It made his throat close up, this feeling that he was moving on and forgetting her - when he’d once promised to never forget her. Lorcan had meant it that dark day in that sterile hospital room and he meant it now. His gloomy thoughts were interrupted by the pattering feet of their son as he came racing back and crashed into Lorcan’s legs. “Ready to go.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Kohana chattered the entire way to his school, looking out the window as he kicked his feet, sitting on his booster seat. Lorcan grinned and conversed with him, only slightly worried about the amount that he talked. 

Kohana was a fairly quiet child, reserved and freakily observant like his dad, and preferred to silently ride in the truck wherever they went. Soon enough, they pulled up in front of the school and Kohana fell silent, nervously glancing out at the other kids and parents. 

“You need a minute, Ko?” 

Kohana slowly shook his head, “No, I ready. Go time, Dad.” 

Lorcan stifled his chuckle and unbuckled his seatbelt, turning off the engine and making his way to Kohana’s door. He opened it and Kohana unclipped his seat belt and stood on his booster seat, waiting for Lorcan to pick him up. Lorcan did, propping him on his hip as he got his backpack and shut the door, clicking his keys to lock the truck as he strode through the parking lot, unaware of the stares and attention he drew to himself as he walked to the school. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide checked the time again, reassuring herself that nobody was late, considering the bell didn’t ring for another fifteen minutes. She breathed out slowly, checking over her class list and making sure that each little desk (who knew kindergarten desks could be so cute) had a velcroed name label on it. She figured she would let the kids choose their seats and go from there once she knew the different dynamics. 

She checked over the reading area, making sure the toadstool-patterned pouffes were placed correctly and relative to the bookshelves and toy area. What she had wanted was a whimsical, faerie-woods like reading area and Elide was happy with what she had done. She'd even managed to find a tree-throne inspired wooden chair made by a local artist. 

The art corner was all ready, it had been the first area she set up, and Elide walked into the cubby area, which was separate from the rest of the classroom. 

Unlike the desks, the cubbies were designated to each student and she made sure that the velcroed labels stuck on well. Elide did not need wild little ones pulling things off at random. She popped into the little bathroom they had, thanking her gods and goddesses for being one of the few kindergarten classes with their own toilet. There was a sign with diagrams on correct hand washing and a step stool up to the sink, soap and paper towels in easy access. 

She looked at herself in the mirror, running an eye over her outfit: a pair of raw-edge, blue mom jeans and a slouchy lavender sweater, paired with a pair of delicate silver hoops, her hair twisted into a low-bun and held together with a silver hairpin, a gift from her ex-girlfriend. She wore her everyday, white sneakers, her makeup simple with just mascara and a light dusting of blush. 

Perfect for meeting parents and kiddos. Comfortable and still somewhat professional for the first day of school. Aelin had asked her to model some things for her newest collection and had dumped a bunch of custom made pieces into her arms. A congrats-on-your-new-job present, she’d said, so needless to say, Elide was well-equipped and excited for her new outfits. 

Someone knocked on the door and called out, “Hello?” 

Elide squeaked and hurried into her class, “Hey, I’m— Lorcan?” Oh gods, what was he doing here? Elide subtly checked the available exits, in case something went sideways. “What are you doing here?” 

Just then, she noticed how shocked he looked and the children’s backpack that dangled from his hand, not to mention the nearly identical child who held onto his other hand in a death grip. “Um, I- kid- school-” he stuttered out, his jaw still dropped as the child tugged on his hand.

“Dad?” The dark-haired child looked up at Lorcan in confusion, his brow wrinkling. Elide genuinely thought that every kid was cute, but by the gods, this one took the cake. She had the sudden urge to kiss his round cheek and clamped down on the desire. 

He was a father. And she was his kid’s teacher. And she should not be thinking about how he held her up and fucked her against a wall three nights ago or how the way his lips parted as she got on her knees for— 

“Oh my gods, sorry,” Elide said, snapping out of her shock. “Hi!” The kid looked nervous and hugged Lorcan’s legs, hiding his face in his father’s navy painter pants. 

“Ko,” Lorcan said, crouching down in front of his son. Elide scanned the class roster, landing on the name Kohana **Tangaroa-Salvaterre. Lorcan began to speak in a language she discerned as ***Ozuye from hearing it during her gap year, but she didn’t comprehend a word, her mind reeling. 

Even if this wasn’t the situation, she still wouldn’t have been able to understand a word on account of not speaking a language other than the common tongue and Blackbeak. 

“Ok, Dad,” Kohana whispered. He walked over to her, his light eyes wide as he clasped his hands together in front of him, “Hello. My name is Kohana. I am five.” 

Elide huffed a laugh and crouched down in front of him, “Hi, Kohana. My name’s supposed to be Miss Lochan, but you can call me Elide.” He smiled and nodded, running back to Lorcan to grab his backpack and grab a quick hug before saying bye with a tight hug and an accepted top-of-the-head kiss. He quickly ran back to Elide’s side. 

Lorcan laughed quietly and nodded an only semi-awkward goodbye before ducking out of the classroom. “Alright, Kohana, why don’t we see your cubby?” 

“Ok,” he said, following her closely as she led the way to the coat room. 

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

Hellas save him, this was a mess. How had he managed to sleep with the one person that would be his son’s teacher for ten whole months? 

Lorcan stopped at a red light and hit his head against the steering wheel, swearing low. If Essar could see him now, she’d be crying in laughter. That got him to smile, even if it was forced and unnatural. 

He drove in utter silence to the mechanic shop he worked at, alongside Fenrys and Malakai, trying to think about anything other than the sounds she had made when he was inside her. He was not successful in the slightest. 

It had him in a foul mood when he parked and got out of his truck, stalking into the back room. Fenrys was sitting at the table and drinking a cup of coffee when he walked in. “Woah, who pissed in your coffee this morning?” 

Lorcan sighed and braced his hands against his locker, hanging his head. “I fucked Ko’s teacher.” 

“Wait, just now?” 

He snarled and spun to glare at Fenrys, “Yeah, in the five-minute period I was dropping my kindergartener off at school, I took her in the cubby and fucked her real good.” He walked over to the blonde and slapped him upside the head, “Fuck is wrong with you? She’s the girl from the bar.” 

“Well. You two are fucked.” 

That was exactly the problem.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

*Kohana is a Lakota name that means swift 

**Tangaroa is the Māori god of the sea! In this story (and all things i write) both Essar and Lorcan are indigenous - Essar is Māori and Lorcan is Lakota because you can never have too much colour 😌✨

***Ozuye is the fictional tribe of my own invention, it’s very largely based off the Lakota nation

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[utilitycaster]

I would like Liam to play something that's completely batshit feral. I'm talking Circle of Spores or perhaps a Divine Soul Sorcerer who is more on the happier and 'will do what I want' kinda thing. Doesn't have to be a cha class, just something where he's not as angsty and gets into Shenanigans yanno?

okay here is the thing. I am with you on both those subclasses; I am with you on a happier less angsty character who gets into shenanigans; I am completely failing to see how this is batshit feral. There is some post that is like "you are not goblincore you have a fjallraven kanken backpack with a bunch of enamel pins on it" and that is sort of how I feel about the use of 'feral' on Tumblr. Divine Soul sorcerer would be great but also seems like the opposite of feral. So A- for the confusion.