#do i actually WANT to be in a relationship with a significantly older man? no i dont trust them

[sylphwing]

hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔

[dashiellqvverty]

turning 25 next month and ik that is NOT old but i am sad that i feel like ive missed my window on being someone's concerningly young boyfriend :(

[therealcocoshady]

Eminem with a younger girlfriend - HCs

Hey guys ! Here is a little HC that popped in my head about Marshall Mathers dating someone significantly younger 😉. I hope you enjoy it 💕 it is directly inspired by my experience, a twentysomething who is roughly Hailie’s age, thirsting over him 🙊

- Marshall Mathers knows he’s got young ladies thirsting over him but he shrugs it off. Don’t get him wrong, he is flattered, but it makes him just a tiny bit uncomfortable. And when someone shows him some of these unhinged thirst tweets written by twentysomethings who are even younger than his own kids ? He is downright mortified.

- He doesn’t really get why people his kids’ age think he is attractive. Of course, music is part image and everything, but he’s got three daughters who constantly tease him for being a dork. Same for the younger rappers he works with. So he absolutely does not think of himself as a sex symbol or anything.

- He kind of figures people are not really attracted to him. That it’s more about the fame and the fact that pictures can be misleading. I mean, have you seen the way they photoshop his lines ? He really thinks people would come off it rather quickly if they saw him in person.

- Also, he’s young at heart, but he is very much aware of his « inner old man », who takes just as much space as his inner child. So, to him, no young lady in their right mind would actually be interested in him.

- By the way, he is more easily attracted by someone older than him than younger. And in the instances where he has dated younger women, a decade was the bigger age gap he would allow.

- Unless he meets you, that is. When you meet, the chemistry is immediate. He can’t even deny it. He is just attracted to you as you are to him.

- At first, he does not really register the age difference. But then, you say something like « oh, I remember when that song came out. I was eight ! » that has him in shock.

- He thinks you are absolutely stunning. And he knows he is allowed to. You’re over the age of 21, it’s not like you’re a teenager or anything. You’re an actual adult, mature and everything. But he is still weirded out. It doesn’t help that your personality makes you even more attractive. He is drawn to you and it kind of leaves him wondering if he’s being kind of creepy.

- As soon as he realizes how old (how young) you are he kind of stops flirting. « I’m sorry, i just- I thought you liked me ? » you say as you finally decide to confront him. « Yeah, I did. I do. It’s just… I’m 51 », he replies in an attempt to offer an explanation. « And ? » you ask with a raised eyebrow. « I hadn’t realized you were so young » he continues. « i didn’t realize i looked so old », you said with a pout. « No ! I mean- Look, I like you, you’re great. You look incredible. But I’m old enough to be your dad », he says. « I mean, I wouldn’t mind calling you Da- » you jokingly begin, but he shuts you up with a death stare real quick.

- You try the « come on, age is just a number argument » but it does not work as well as you hoped it would. « You know who would agree with you ? R. Kelly » he replies with a raised eyebrow.

- The two of you keep on talking and hanging out but he insists there won’t be anything besides friendship. Until, one night, your flirty banter finally earns you a kiss. « I knew you’d give in », you grin with pride and satisfaction. « I can still change my mind », he playfully threatens.

- The two of you start dating eventually but, in the beginning, he mentally slaps himself a handful of times. That being said, he absolutely can’t resist you.

- He wouldn’t go public with anyone, but especially not with someone with whom he has such a significant age gap.

- It’s also a reason why he doesn’t want to tell people about your relationship. He’s very reluctant to introduce you to his friends and meet your loved ones.

- He knows his friends would absolutely not leave him alone with the age jokes. You can count on his buddies to make jokes about you having a daddy kink.

- Speaking of which… You’ve got a Daddy kink ? Well that’s too damn bad. Because he will absolutely puke if you call him that. Nothing gives this man the ick more than the thought of you being with him because of some unresolved daddy issues.

- That being said, he will absolutely activate his « dad mode » in some circumstances. He doesn’t even do it on purpose. It’s in the little things, like the way he scolds you for not wearing anything warmer or how he reminds you to call him as soon as you get out of the club.

- He won’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear but he’s not a big fan of you wearing anything that makes you look younger than your years.

- Speaking of looks… dating someone younger definitely makes him more self-conscious about his own appearance. It’s already hard seeing yourself age when you’re a rapper but dating someone younger makes it worse. It definitely has him second-guessing his outfit choices.

- And even though you tell him you like his fine lines and graying hair… he is not having any of that. Look at him using (and abusing) the dye and skincare.

- With time, though, he doesn’t think too much about the age difference. At least, he doesn’t obsess over it too much.

- But he will absolutely throw it in your face in an argument, maybe using it to call you immature or something. (Even if he’s the one being immature)

- That being said, don’t you dare pull that shit on him and suggest that you might indeed go for someone your age. He is pretty confident but he is terrified to lose you to someone younger.

- Deep down, his biggest insecurity about your relationship is that your life plans might not align. And even if you assure him that you’re on the same page, he still braces himself for the day you decide to leave him.

- You might be self-conscious too, given the fact that he is usually attracted to women older than you. But he always makes sure to ease your mind.

- As the relationship progresses, he allows himself to be more committed to you but his reluctance to go « public » might cause some issues.

- Ultimately, though, people around you are supportive of the relationship - even though some of them might have some initial doubts.

- Let’s be honest : the most stressful part is not your friends or his. It’s family. He is terrified of introducing you to his daughters. And his stress is communicative. Also, he’s not too eager to meet your parents. Because he knows exactly how he’d react to his daughters dating someone his age.

- He is not one to give in to PDA anyway but it’s even worse when there’s family around. This man will not be caught holding your hand or even staring at you too intently. Even if people know you’re together. He is guarded like that.

- His daughters might end up telling him there were « signs » that he was dating someone younger : like some newfound interest in a particular TV show, more skincare in his bathroom…

- People around him aren’t specifically bothered by the age gap in itself. But you might be subjected to more scrutiny. They’d be quicker to assume you’re in it for shallow reasons.

- But once you’re in… you’re in. If anything, his whole entourage will be even more impressed. They know that dating Marshall isn’t a piece of cake and they’re really impressed that you handled the scrutiny they subjected you to so well.

- The more time goes on, the less of a big deal the age gap becomes, to you, to him and to anyone else.

- The only reminders are the little harmless jokes and Marshall’s celebration of anything that proves you’re aging. You might be a little self-conscious about your first wrinkles but he’s lowkey relieved. Maybe he won’t feel like a creep. 🙊

[hyperfixatedbastard]

Hi i hope you doing well. I have a resquest... more like a headcanon. What if Adam was a dad ? What his behaviour will be ? Does he be a good or a bad father ?

I understand if you don't do it. I don't want to force you for something you don't want to.

Dadam (Dad!Adam) Headcanons

we bringing out the daddy issues on this one boys

WARNINGS: none

A/N: I haven't done a headcanon type of post yet, but they're easier to write than regular one shots and I'm too tired for that shit. The request didn't specify what kind of Reader (spouse or child), so I just went with general headcanons that don't specify the Reader at all. Insert yourself as you wish!

Also, thank you all for your patience! It's been very busy for me lately and I've been too exhausted to write much, so expect a lot more of these kinds of posts (the formatting is easier and I don't have to write a bunch of dialogue lol).

Dividers

As the father of humanity, Adam had...a lot of kids. The guy lived for 800+ years just populating the earth. That's a LOT of kids. We all know how the first two turned out. That is, not fuckin' well. To be honest, I don't think Adam valued his children. It was just kinda... a thing he had to do. (When Abel died and Cain got exiled, he fr just went and had another kid to replace them.) But I am in deep, deep denial and this is for my enjoyment as someone with severe daddy issues. So fuck all that.

At first, Adam is 100% the guy that freaks the fuck out when he finds out he knocked someone up. That man is SWEATING. He's actually pretty chill if it's someone he's in an established long-term relationship with, though. He still freaks the fuck out, but to a significantly lesser degree and with a much smaller chance of up and leaving. Once he's over the initial shock, he's shocked to find that he's kind of excited. Back when he was alive, having kids was just normal because it was such a common occurrence.

This man knows every little detail about pregnancy and infants. With the amount of kids he's had? He has seen it ALL. Sure, all his information is thousands of years old, but knowledge learned through experience is super valuable when it comes to this shit! He doesn't know what the fuck a uterus is, but he knows exactly how to make his partner the most comfortable, how to deal with cravings, etc. If his partner has a problem, he's got a solution. It might be a fuckin' weird one, but it works! He'll probably grumble and complain, but he doesn't actually mean it. Bitching is just his thing, y'know? But... pregnancy hormones + Adam's douchebag-ness = feelings getting hurt. If his partner starts crying because of some shit joke or complaint he made? He's scrambling so fast. "Shit, babe, fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, fuckfuckfuck, don't cry—"

Once the baby is born, he definitely surprises literally everyone but his partner by actually doing helpful shit. Changing diapers? Easy fuckin' peasy (he does watch a tutorial online because he doesn't know how tf modern diapers work but he's a fast learner) Feeding? No problemo. Getting up in the middle of the night to do both of those things? His sleep schedule's already fucked, this shit ain't new.

When it comes to parenting and raising the kid, though... that's definitely where Adam struggles. He'd struggle with bonding. A lot. Adam mostly talks about things that you really shouldn't say around children, much less bond over. I think he'd be better at just letting the kid ramble while he's just sitting there, fully engrossed in whatever bullshit his child is saying. He's not just passively listening with little 'uh-huh's and nods, this man is active in the discussion. Have you ever heard a small child speak? They say the most random shit ever, and Adam would love it. It's peak entertainment to him. Even if it's just incoherent babbling, he'll have full-on conversations with this baby.

He'd definitely have some shared interests as the kid gets older. I think Adam's favorite shows/movies are a mix of action movies and shit like Power Rangers. He's not ashamed of it either—'fuck you, the Power Rangers are fuckin' cool.' This also goes for video games. I know that man is a toxic COD gamer boy and you can't prove me wrong. Basically, the only thing that keeps him from becoming one of those husbands that locks himself away in a man cave to play video games is the fact that he can game with his kid.

And once they get into school, he just gets really invested in the drama. Elementary school drama is such bullshit, and it'd be the best reality TV he's ever seen. "Oh, don't tell me—it's that bitch Cindy. The fuck did that little shit do this time?" He'd be gasping like it's a damn soap opera. 'Oh no she didn't!' kinda vibe.

He'd talk so much shit around his kid about the parents of their classmates, the teachers, anyone. Then the kid would repeat it and Adam would get sat down in the office with his kid like: "Your child said, and I quote, 'My dad says your mom's a bitch.'" "What? She fuckin' is." And yeah, he's not wrong - some of those parents are fucking nightmares.

If his kid got in trouble for fighting, his reaction would depend on the situation. If it was unprovoked and/or a part of bullying, he'd originally laugh it off but would be freaking the fuck out internally. He's probably a little traumatized by what happened with Cain and Abel. But if the fighting was an act of defense (whether of themselves or someone else) he would be the proudest dad ever. Fist-bumps his kid in the office in full view of the principal.

You cannot trust this man to give his kid the sex talk. It just will not go well. Like, if his kid needs advice when they're older (basically anything beyond 'where do babies come from') then he's your guy, but it's still gonna be awkward and uncomfortable. He'd probably have Lute handle most of those issues just so he doesn't have to know about his kid's sex life but can still trust that they have a responsible(?) adult if they have questions.

In terms of where Adam is lacking as a parent, there's a few areas in particular to focus on.

Emotional availability? Not his strong suit. At all. He can't deal with his own feelings, let alone his kid's. Most of the emotional support will be coming from his partner. That doesn't mean he doesn't try. But he can't show it with words all that well. He'll show emotional support in other ways—quality time, gifts, and acts of service for the most part. Like going out for ice cream, watching a movie, etc.

He's not good with discipline. To him, everything's no big deal. If his kid hasn't killed their sibling, that's good enough for him! Generally, his partner will choose when/how to discipline (with Adam's input ofc), but Adam's job is to just enforce it/not overrule it. He's 100% the type to be sneaky about it tho. If his kid is grounded, he'll go out with them to give them a break from being stuck in the house, y'know, stuff like that. Because of this, his kid forms a closer, different kind of bond than with Adam's partner. It's more friendly, I guess is the word? Like, his kid won't go to him for actual helpful advice, but if they fuck up somehow or are in a bad situation that they kinda got themselves into (drinking, car accident, etc.), then Adam is the parent they call.

I think Adam's peak parenting era would be when his kid is a late teen/young adult. 'Cause then he can actually be himself, for the most part. His personality is not very kid-friendly, so once his kid isn't really much of a kid anymore—he is so fucking excited. His relationship with his kid would be a lot more unconventional as they grow older. Like, he's really close with his kid once they're an adult. (totally not basing this off my relationship with my mom) His advice would be shit, but he'd give it if his kid needed it!

Definitely the type to text his kid more often than most parents. Mostly because he texts more like them and has the same sense of humor. Lots of shitty memes.

Also!! I think Adam would definitely make time for his partner. Date nights are a must. His kid better get comfortable with sleepovers at friends' houses or getting babysat by Emily 'cause he ain't letting parenthood fuck up his sex life.

I think that's all I got. Not sure how to end this so uh... shoutout to all you bitches with daddy issues lmao

Taglist: @little-miss-chaoss @fakeguysarehot @3sire-777

[rayshippouuchiha]

I remembered your idea about Grimmjow mentoring Izuku and I have world building/background.

Grimm got to the bnha universe because some idiots were trying to summon a demon to kill some heroes and since there aren't any in universe the magic spell outsourced. The idiots did not survive their stupidity. Grimm is really annoying because he's pretty sure it's going to take at least a year to get home.

Finding and starting to teach Izuku delayed his plans, but not by too much. Grim figures he'll just wait for the kid to die and bring Izuku's soul back with him. Classic Arrancar adoption tactics.

Inko is a little uncomfortable with a demon adopting her son with a plan of making him another demon, but honestly Izuku's just so happy these days that she's cool with it. She does the paperwork to make Grim a distant relative.

People in the bnha universe don't really have reiatsu but they still have souls. Grim just has to teach izuku to reform his soul so it's bleach style instead. He's pretty sure that any of the many mad scientists he knows would tell him it's impossible, but izuka did it anyways so there.

For paperwork they claim that it's a family inherited work that is super finicky and requires a lot of control and often doesn't activate without life or death danger or knowing how to activate it beforehand. Which it is true, using reiatsu for stuff more complicated than "be stronger and hardier," let alone kidou, takes decades of learning. Even if hollow style kidou is easier to learn, it's not by that much. Grim mostly focuses Izuku on learning the basics of combat and maybe sonido.

Izuku ends up good at kicking people in the face like canon, but he also has throwing knives and a tanto to complete the danger gremlin evolution.

He kicks Bakugou in the face and breaks his nose. Their relationship isn't great but it's not as awful as in cannon.

Grimmjow is setting up connections with the villain community one day when he hears about some mysterious, powerful fucker called All For One. He hasn't eaten in a while, and that seems like someone no one will miss so he eats out for the day. The villain underground immediately falls into chaos but that isn't his problem.

Coincidentally, Inko's deadbeat husband finally stopped sending money. (Whether he's AfO or just some asshole who died in the chaos is up to you.) She shrugs and moves on. She saved and invested most money he gave them anyways.

Grim ends up running a dojo. First he just needs space to teach Izuku but I firmly believe that despite his general misanthropic tendencies he actually likes kids, so the whole thing balloons pretty fast. He ends up with this weird teenager who calls himself Dabi as an assistant, since the kid already knew how to fight pretty well.

With an actual support system Dabi ends up significantly less burned and significantly more sane. He works as a vigilante, killing marital and child abusers. He's really uncertain about what to do about Endeavor, because he wants to kill him but the man also scares the shit out of him, and he doesn't want to free his siblings just to put them in the spotlight. Grimmjow is less than zero help, but Inko gives him a big hug and helps him start to set up a legal case if that's what he decides to do. He's like Izuku's weird, obnoxious older cousin.

Speaking of the lov, Kurogiri got out and took Shigaraki with him when AfO died. They end up picking up the rest of the league overtime. All the kids try to convince Kurogiri to reach back out to his friends from when he was Oboro. They might or might not be vigilantes.

What are you talking about, this isn't a fix it fic.

The UA staff are deeply baffled when they meet Izuku's guardians: the sweetest little lady you ever did meet and what Aizawa is pretty sure is an actual, literal demon from hell. In hindsight, though, it makes sense.

Thank you for the idea! Sorry for shoving this thing in your inbox.

Never apologize because this is fantastic.

[goat-guy-tm]

Mouthwashing headcanons that I cannot get out of my head;

Organized by character cause I'm normal

Jimmy is at the very bottom so you can skip him if you want.

This bitch is long and took me like two hours to write I wanna lay down...

Curly:

Bisexual Trans man because honestly he has a bit of t-boy swag

For some reason I have convinced myself he's 37. IDK why.

Comes from a pretty big family. He's the second eldest of 8 kids, his older sister is technically only a half sister but still.

He has two moms and one abusive/dead beat dad. Idk I can't explain it I just feel it in my brain that he's got two moms.

He's a mama's boy but in like a good way, not a weaponized incompetence way.

He's technically a nepo baby. His grandfather on his bio-mom's side is a director/board member of Pony Express, thus why Jimmy constantly talks about him "getting his life handed to him on a silver platter". His grandfather actually had nothing to do with him getting the job, as he has a different last name and no one actually realized they were related for a WHILE. He is the reason Curly dreamed of being a space-crafy poilt though.

He smokes cigarettes often. When he gets stressed he smokes a lot more, but he's in denial that it's a problem. Jimmy got him into smoking in the first place, peer preassuring him into it. Jimmy now conviently always seems to have packs of cigarettes on him during hauls when Curly never brings them, specially for when Curly gets stressed. (Not in like a gay way, in like a manipulative way to keep him subconsciously needing Jimmy in some way)

He is surprisingly strict when it comes to "no fraternizing with subordinates". He likes to keep his work and personal life seperate, and especially to not allow any feelings to be developed for any of his crew mates.

His first name is Grant, he was named after his father and eventually grew to hate his first name because of how horrible his father was, but he keeps his first name because his mom likes it on him, it helps her connect better memories to that name instead of the horrible ones his father gave her.

Jimmy was his only friend for a while, which is why he is so die hard about wanting to believe Jimmy is a good guy, plus Jimmy manipulating him for so long to believe Jimmy was the victim of a lot of stuff.

He is a fucking mountain of a man when it comes to muscles. Bro is buff as fuck and scary when he wants to be.

He's been the captain of the Tuplar since he became a captain (roughly 11 years). That ship is his baby.

Anya:

She's omni, if you asked her to really identify her sexuality she would say it's complicated, but she just says she's bisexual.

I feel like she's in her early/mid 30's for some reason? Like 33 at the time of the game. I know realistically she could more so be like, 26-28 (assuming she tried getting into med school the SECOND she was graduating high school)

She's been part of the Tuplar's crew for roughly 4 years, she was transferred to them after getting the medical certification from Pony Express to be an on-board nurse. Before that she had worked with another crew for a while.

She also smokes cigarettes. Significantly less than Curly does, but she still does from time to time. She started after her 4th try into med school, where she then got extremely drunk to cope with failing again, and had drunkenly bought a pack of cigs. She eventually regretted it, but was also in such a low point mentally that she thought "why the hell not" and started smoking regularly. Eventually she smoked more when stressed, which was when she was studying or getting ready for an exam of some kind. Because of this her regular smoking went to her smoking a fuck ton before and after stressful events (mostly tests) because her body has subconsciously attached to that helping her study.

She is an only child. Her mother died when she was a teen, which eventually led to her and her father having an estranged relationship. After her mother's death, her father went into an almost debilitating depressive state, becoming an extreme workaholic and albeit unintentionally neglecting Anya during her teen years. Now-a-days they are doing much better and are trying to reconnect with each other. Her father adores her and becomes devastated when news of her death on the Tuplar eventually reached him.

While Anya is not shy in any way, she is commonly seen as so simply because she keeps to herself a lot.

She worries quite a lot about money since her family didn't make a lot in the first place, and her mother was a big financial gash on them, which led to pretty extreme finance anxiety.

She's actually a big horror fan, especially horror books and often gets a bit too into them and feels like she's being weird about them, but no, she just really likes them.

Her intrest in phycology is spurred on by this, as reading phycology books makes her start to wonder about villian's reasonings. Jimmy would have been an interesting case for her if he hadn't been who he was.

If asked about any of her interests she will start to excitingly info dump, only to get embarrassed and stop, and refusing to continue when told it's fine.

Caffeine addict. She gets ungodly amounts of extra esspresso in any coffee she drinks.

She would read Warrior Cats.

Daisuke:

Pansexual trans guy. You see that Hawaiian shirt? That's peak t-boy swag right there. Lost his mind when he learned Curly was trans too.

Most likely either 20 or 21, making him the baby of the crew. Swansea balks at him every time Daisuke mentions it cause he's the same age as Swansea's kids.

He is autistic, one of the biggest reasons he has trouble figuring out what he wants to do with his life as he physically is not capable of imagining what his life will be like a few months from the present.

He would have been a DeviantArt kid, and an Animal Jam kid.

He gave the whole crew fursonas within the first week of working there. He also gave them ponysonas, but then he threw away Jimmy's after hearing what he said about Polle.

I feel like he has an affinity for small bugs. He loves saving them from being stuck in rooms, and get actually really angry when someone kills one for no reason. He snapped at Jimmy once for smushing an ant that had somehow gotten onto the ship. Reasonably there was no way to save it but Daisuke was still pissed about it.

He has a pretty strained relationship with his mother, even though he is still actively trying to gain her approval. His dad is pretty removed from his life, his dad is there, but anytime Daisuke asks his dad to stand up for him or anything his dad just shrugs and tells him to just talk it out with his mom. His mom doesn't want to talk it out. That's why he tries to get Swansea's approval, and especially feels bad when he gets injured in the vents Swansea specifically told him not to touch. (His cousins are the ones to hold the funeral for him, his mother says she wishes he would have at least done something productive before dying like that. [she's half an asshole, half going through immense guilt])

He is an only child. He had always wanted to be a big brother, and had asked for a little sibling so many times but his parents kept refusing, eventually he stopped asking but he still wished he could have been an older brother.

He has a really weird addiction to root beer.

I can't explain it but I feel like he'd be a big SCP Foundation nerd.

Swansea:

CisHet ally. Everyone is scared he is homophobic when they first meet him, but he knew his kids were gay before they did.

He was a veteran. Ended up getting medically discharged which was one of the things leading him into his alcoholic days.

He has three kids; two daughters and one son.

He has been working on the Tuplar almost as long as Curly. He joined the original original crew about 5 years into Curly being captain.

If Curly wasn't the only one allowed to use the food synthesizer and if they had actual food on the ship he would have been cooking meals for the crew every night to feel like he was at home again.

He pretends to hate it, but his music taste is 90% white girl pop. He also listens to like metal and rock, but still.

A girl dad through and through. His daughters are the world to him. Extra why he was so pissed and passive aggressive with Jimmy after Anya told him what he did to her.

Had a punk 'phase' during his teens. Still punk in beliefs, just not apparencies.

He's one of those old Brexit geezer types.

He and Curly keep betting on football (soccer) whenever not on hauls. Spoiler; Curly keeps losing.

His family and Curly's are actually surprisingly close. Whenever their respective family members are off on hauls during the holidays the two families spend them together.

I like to imagine his wife's name is Ophelia. I can't explain why, I just feel like she has some ethereal real pretty name.

His wife and Curly's moms have girls nights every week. Eventually Anya got roped into them when the ladies learned of her (to Curly's dismay).

He won't admit it, but he acted like a dad even before Daisuke joined the crew. He found himself often looking out for Curly when he thought the younger wasn't taking care of himself.

He has hand made bracelets from all his kids in his dorm. He hides them to keep up the tough guy act.

Jimmy: (cw; mentions of obsession, codependency and referenced suicide)

He thought he was bisexual, but it actually is just a really bad obsession with Curly. Otherwise I chose not to think about his sexuality.

He is the same age as Curly, 37, but maybe a few months younger than him (which is another thing he holds against Curly for some reason).

He joined the Tuplar crew a few years before Anya did, but wasn't promoted to co-pilot until the year Anya joined the crew.

He unironically uses Reddit and 4chan

One of his only hobbies includes doxing kids online.

He is like, the worst kind of brony you could have the misfortune of meeting.

He is an orphan and has been since his pre-teen years. It's what left him with nothing and did horrible things to his mental perception of his life.

He met Curly when they were both about high school age. He instantly became attached to him and would get extremely jealous when Curly would seem to have any other friends beside him.

Because of this he became very manipulative to Curly, constantly playing the victim card and then acting like Curly not believing him meant Curly hated him. This got to Curly pretty bad, and is one of the only reasons they stayed friends for so long.

The only reason he got into weight lifting is because he knew Curly worked out regularly, but it never really entertained him so he barley did it.

He thought he held power over Curly, unbeknownst to him he had actually made himself quite co-dependent on him.

The only reason he started working for Pony Express was because Curly had. He became quite angry though when they were not originally put onto the same crew, and weren't until Curly was promoted to a captain and given his own ship.

This is when he started the "Curly gets whatever he wants and was handed his life" thought, trying to find any way to reason why Curly was promoted so young and fast but he wasn't.

Even with his obsession with Curly, he doesn't spend a lot of time with him outside of hauls. His feelings would filp flop between obsession and disgust towards him. It doesn't help that Curly's family doesn't like him anymore.

He calls Curly 'Grant' because he knows Curly hates it and only ever does it to piss him off and then call him an asshole for getting mad at him, cause they are supposed to be friends, aren't they?

In his mind, if he isn't in some way better than Curly then he is nothing.

It wouldn't be till before he takes his own life that he realizes Curly is his life and has been since they were teens, and that without Curly he felt like he was nothing.

[gabessquishytum]

just to flip the age kink thing, i've got a suggestion for how they'd have hob as the younger one. hob's getting to the point where he needs to start his next life and he decides that he wants to keep teaching but wants to change up the subject this time. there's a grad program he's really interested in so he figures he'll do that and then teach the subject, he starts crafting his next identity, and dream's so interested in the process since he hasn't seen hob doing this before. he sees the age hob's going for and offers some help -- he could make everyone perceive hob as younger, so he'd be able to get longer out of this identity.

hob, of course, is thrilled. he starts off as young as he can, of course, but it's been centuries since hob's even tried to pass himself off as 22. he could pull it off when people lived harder, but it just doesn't work anymore. dream makes a couple more suggestions -- hob's used June 7th as his birthday before, it sort of is in a way. now tgat he and dream use it as their anniversary he would have picked a different date but hey, if that's the date dream thinks he should go with, no big deal.

so hob goes off back to school, he's having a great time, he's sort of loving pretending to be in his 20s again. his friends do give him odd looks when they see him with dream, though. that's fine -- dream is, frankly, odd. it's probably nothing. until he starts seeing how dream's presenting himself to others and... yeah, the first time hob sees the dusting of silver hair at dream's temples, he drops to his knees to suck dream's cock in the stacks of the uni library. it's fine. he has very normal feelings about it. it's fine.

he's not totally clear on the specifics of the game dream's playing until the end of his first year, though, when dream mentions, in careful earshot of a few of hob's more gossipy classmates, that he'll plan something nice for hob's birthday. it's their anniversary, after all, and five years is a number worth celebrating. hob doesn't realize until later that dream just made sure all hob's classmates know that he got together with his significantly older and significantly wealthy boyfriend on his 18th birthday. and that dream's been supplying most of hob's wardrobe again. and giving him jewellery. and keeping hob at his side any time they're in public together. and that maybe there's a reason he keeps getting carefully worded questions about his relationship, because dream has very intentionally made him look like a pretty young thing being taken advantage of by an older man. hob needs dream to fuck him about this immediately, actually.

(it also occurs to hob, once dream's fucked him through the mattress while calling him little one and darling boy and pet, that this is. probably how gods and fey and other immortals actually do see a relationship between dream of the endless and a human. and gets turned on about it all over again.)

-🐈‍⬛

This is literally what I look like right now. Oh my fucking gOD

I don't. I don't know how to add to this? Hnnngg. Dream with grey in his hair, treating Hob like his little plaything, making Hob’s friends somewhere between concerned and jealous. It's making my mouth go dry.

I think you might have finally bit the "horny overload" switch in my brain, my darling.

ffffffuck.

I'm just thinking about Dream renting a fancy apartment for Hob to live in while he's studying. He comes home from the dreaming every day, and Hob’s friends skedaddle from what ever study club they've been doing (they're a little intimidated by Dream, although hes nothing but polite). Dream gets to have Hob all to himself for the evening, gets to relearn Hob’s body as it hasn't been for a very long time. Being physically 22 has a lot of advantages when it comes to joint flexibility and sexual stamina, and Dream wants to enjoy them to the fullest. Hob is very much immersed in the fantasy of being Dream’s kept boy, and he likes the attention, he likes it when Dream showers him in gifts. He keeps Dream updated on his grades and soaks up all the praise and sweet talk Dream lavishes on him. They go to the opera together, or to fancy restaurants where Dream publicly shows Hob off to absolutely everyone. And the sex afterwards is just insane. Hob rides Dream’s cock in the limo on the way home, or sucks him off in the dressing rooms of fancy boutiques.

They have literally all the time in the world to be horny and stupid and I, for one, want to see it.

[mayordea]

MORGAN HEADCANON POST!!!

so i have posted my elaborate “the robins are separate entities and siblings” headcanons and i think i’ve said too many damn times that i wanna extend a similar headcanon post for morgan and now it is TIME!!

(im also a lot less nervous sharing this time teehee)

more info about the guys under the cut :]

morgan

the girl one

robin’s adopted daughter. parents died after grima goes bananas and robin decided to take her under his wing. i like to think robin held out a little longer than the rest of the shepherds once the apocalypse started so he was able to teach morgan what he knew. plus she self taught herself magic and tactics using his notes even when he’s dead

can be blunt, hates being the butt of the joke, but has a pretty dry and witty sense of humor. sometimes clashes with lucina’s inability to pick up on jokes

since she was a kid when grima goes bad, she is the oldest among the second gen. older than lucina by a few years perhaps

has a close sisterly relationship with lucina. she and lucina sort of reflect robin and chrom’s relationship in the group, with the exalted leader having a wise magic man by their side. given the situation in their family tree (though morgan is adopted, she is still lucina’s cousin) i’d refrain from defining it as anything romantic (besides i hc lucina to be aroace anyway. queerplatonic relationship, perchance)

since morgan was only able to cross paths with lucina and the rest of the second-gen shepherds through her adoption from robin, it is unlikely that she will meet lucina in the good future or at least have the same very close relationship with lucina since she’ll be raised by her bio parents. (one may argue that none of the second-gen shepherds will meet or form a close band without the backdrop of acopalyptic bonding in the good timeline, but the point is that morgan will live a significantly different upbringing if the grima threat is taken care of). lucina sometimes worries about this possibility, but morgan’s conviction to change the future for the better is stronger than this uncertainty. this conviction was also probably inspired by lucina’s drive to change fate

ngl this is all i have unfortunately 😭 but i do wanna work with her more, especially her relationship with lucina

marc

the boy one

chrom and reflect (girl robin)’s son from… a different future. he does not hail from the same doomed timeline as lucina and the rest of the kiddos. instead, he’s from a timeline where grima was vanquished with the falchion (keeping reflect/the vessel alive). he was born shortly after the war ended (though in actuality he’s born after chrom and friends leave smash bros but that’s a whole other can of worms)

the youngest of the future kids

due to his unawareness of the apocalyptic future and grima in general, he has a much more jovial attitude compared to the rest of the kids

brash and a bit of a jock

has a little bit of aptitude in magic from his mom, but he has no interest in actually touching a book

lucina (and the rest of the kids) were confused about this guy’s existence and why he was sent to the past but they embrace him as one of their own anyway (he still doesn’t really know what’s going on)

tbh i have even less going on with him, but i think exploring the silly sibling dynamic he’ll have with lucina should be fun in future projects

his design is kinda messy atm, i do not know if ill fully settle on the one here idk

OH and lastly: his mark of the exalt has not surfaced yet at his age, but i think it’ll appear on either the back of his right hand (like the defile brand) or on his upper back (jojo reference). or maybe even in his right eye like inigo (but that sorta feels like his thing so i don’t wanna rip it off lmao)

anyway that’s it!! i’m kinda pressed for time rn but i wanted to get this out before i forgot lmao!! will edit if needed ough

[stevethehairington]

okay so. overall review:

actually not as bad as i expected it to be! and not as bad as i thought it was going to turn out while i was in the trenches there lol. i still wished it focused a little more on eddie's home life/relationship with his dad and uncle AND his friends, and had way less of the romance stuff (read: none), BUT i will admit that there ended up being a lot less of the romance stuff than i initially expected and a lot less than it seemed like there would be while still in the middle of the book.

the paige stuff still made me uncomfy bc i didn't like the power dynamics there (paige had something eddie wanted desperately, and i don't like the idea that that could have had something to do with his "feelings" for her/why he engaged with them ((esp bc let's be real — he didn't seem super torn up over not getting to be with her in the end)) or that she used that to her advantage bc there was ALSO something in it for her) BUT i will say they did make it slightly less skeezy than i expected bc she was only a couple years older than him instead of like. significantly older like i expected.

i do wish there was more about eddie's friends and their fallout and reconciliation. his friends were super important to him and he just. dropped them. like that. and there was BARELY any blowback. like yeah there was a fight with ronnie, but we never actually got to see the reactions of any of the other hellfire/corroded coffin guys, and i would've liked to see that. same with the reconciliation, it felt very minimal — i would've liked to see more of how that played out too.

I LOVED EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN SECOND OF WAYNE MUNSON CONTENT, THAT MAN IS A GIFT HE IS AN ANGEL I ADORE HIM WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. IF THERE IS ONE THING THIS BOOK HAS DONE IT HAS SOLIDIFIED MY STANCE THAT WAYNE MUNSON IS THE BEST GOD DAMN CHARACTER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

as for eddie — i think the author did an alright job finding his voice. there were times where i thought she really nailed it, but there were also A LOT of times where i thought "he would never say that!!" "he would never do that!!". it wasn't very consistent, but overall it wasn't awful and there were some good parts!

the other characters we know and love that made cameos — VERY fun to see them (gareth, chrissy, jason, hopper, will, jonathan!!!) gareth was ESPECIALLY fun to see because they really embraced that feral chihuahua boy energy we love to assign to him. BUT. i am SO incredibly upset with how badly they massacred my boy tommy h (whOSE LAST NAME THEY COULDNT EVEN GET RIGHT I MEAN W H A T!?) they fucking. got his characterization SO BAD. it was awful. i am. personally offended by it (joking, mostly rhsjsi). (as a tommy lover i am. devastated tho. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT!!!)

OH ALSO — reefer rick. WHAT a fun dude. hes out here in his robe and bunny slippers drinking darjeeling tea, living it up. what a guy.

id like to give a huge FUCK YOU to principal higgins too! they made that dude a straight up MONSTER. he was unnecessarily CRUEL and some of the things he said straight up to eddies face,,,,,,, sir what the FUCK. i know the 80s was a different time but jesus fucking cHRIST was casual cruelty and bullying from grown ass ADULTS commonplace? i sure hope not.

ALSO FUCK AL MUNSON LIVES ALL MY HOMIES HATE AL MUNSON LIVES. that man was AWFUL, TRULY HONESTLY GENUINELY THE WORST. neglectful and cruel and downright AWFUL. NOT ONLY DID HE CONSISTENTLY ABANDON EDDIE THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE BUT THEN HE DREW EDDIE INTO HIS SCHEMES, CONNED HIM, FUCKED UP REAL BIG, AND THEN LEFT EDDIE IN THE ASHES OF THEIR — OF HIS — HOME AS THE ONLY PERSON LEFT WITH THE COP WHO GOT SHOT AND IS LIKE SLOWLY BLEEDING OUT. TALK ABOUT FUCKING TRAUMA WHAT THE FUCK. i hope he got flayed ALIVE by charlie greene lmao it would serve him right that absolute twat waffle.

also, im gonna be real. the end of that book was actually INSANELY depressing. like, it tried to be positive because you gotta end on a positive note right? but it just fell. COMPLETELY flat. bc we all know what happens to eddie in canon. he's sitting there reenrolling in school, peacoking around about how he's GOING to finish high school and he's GOING to graduate and he's GOING to show principal higgins that he CAN do it and that he ISNT the fuckup deliquent he's convinced he is. BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DOESNT FUCKING GET THAT IN CANON. he's taking waynes advice and fully embracing who he is and he's learning to be comfortable in his own skin and to rise above all the noise of people who don't like him and think he's a freak. ONLY WE KNOW HE NEVER TRULY GETS TO DO THAT EITHER BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW IT ENDS IN CANON. so yeah it just ends up being a REALLY fucking BLEAK ending because all of that "positivity" is absolutely tainted. it's fucking soured. and i am once again INSANELY INFURIATED about eddies death. so fuck the duffers, again.

also, eddie munson literally never caught a fucking break. not one fucking break. his ENTIRE life was just one series of tragedies after the other and it truly just continued on that way until he fucking died. honestly, its a goddamn MIRACLE that he has ANY ounce of positivity and optimism and hope left in his life when we get to him in s4. thatd how utter dogshit a hand he has been dealt in life. and it only.got worse from there. and i will NEVER forgive ANYONE involved in his creation for that.

so yeah! that concludes my journey reading flight of icarus. it was a wild ride lol.

[youcouldmakealife]

Liveblogging the End: Jared (103-105)

Okay, I am back to liveblog the end now that we are ACTUALLY approaching the end several...years...later.

Previous parts can all be found under the liveblogging the end tag in reverse chronological order.

And if you want to read along with me, the series page is here.

I am dropping the part summaries going forward, and instead you'll have random ass mini-essays on occasion, because I have Thoughts and Feelings and the like. Starting with one today, below the cut.

I paused the LBTE last time at part 102, because I realised we were, in fact, a long way off from the end, and I was going to finish the liveblog well before I finished the series. And I was…very right about that. It’s a good place to step back in, honestly: Jared’s just told Deslauriers about his relationship with Bryce (it went poorly), Bryce is about to tell the Flames about him and Jared (it will go poorly), and wedding plans are ramping up. Let’s step back to Alberta, everyone.

Here’s the thing about Jared Matheson: he’s beautiful, he’s smarter than most people around him (not all around him, as he believes, but most), he’s in the 0.001 percentile of hockey players worldwide, and he draws good, kind people around him like moths to his flame (also fellow hobgoblins, to be fair). And he thinks like a Mary Sue: ‘here I am, just this ordinary boy, totally unremarkable, why did Bryce Marcus just trip over his feet looking at me, must be a plot’ and then Bryce’s POV is ‘oh look, it’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen’.

Here’s the other thing about Jared Matheson. He’s the narrator of this story, but he’d be the first to tell you the true hero of this story is Bryce Marcus, and Jared’s The Love Interest. Of course, he’s not exactly the mute but there to look pretty and provide stakes love interest of action movies, or the longsuffering picking up after man baby partner of romantic comedies (…mostly), but he is, indubitably, the love interest of the Official Plotline. And fuck does Bryce love him.

I obviously did not know what I was getting into with Impaired Judgment (the series name that just keeps on getting more and more fitting). First off, I had zero handle whatsoever on Bryce. Jared’s voice I had pretty well from the get go — it changed, naturally, as he got older and more settled, and his ‘like’ per part ratio is down significantly at 24 versus 17 (Bryce actually uses it more than he does in dialogue, now), but I had Jared pretty well pegged.

Bryce Marcus. Holy shit man. That guy was a revelation to me as much as he was to Jared. Dude peeled off his layers like a fucking strip tease at the beginning of IJ(aoe) and then grew to be one of my kindest, most earnest, sweetest characters. What I thought was a trash son had only landed in the dumpster accidentally, and required a rescue.

I’m going to have other random little essays while I go through Liveblogging the End (actually for real this time), because this many words and this many years in, there’s obviously something that keeps me coming back to these boys every time I think I’ve reached a natural end to their story, one more step they have to take together before they’re through. But in the meantime, let’s get to the actual story, shall we.

103 - Exertion

Wedding planning feels particularly good when you’re doing it spitefully. Things Jared wasn’t overly concerned with are suddenly important. Fuck yes they’re going to wear tuxes and have the stupidly expensive catering Bryce wants. If Bryce wants a fucking ice sculpture in the middle of summer Jared would probably okay it right now, just as long as he could send a picture of it to Oilers PR.

One of my favourite things about Jared is how much spite he can inject into all his endeavours.

Bryce comes home after two hours, and Jared is given a pretty solid example of Chaz’s reports of the discrepancy between Bryce’s gloss on the phone with Jared versus Bryce in reality, because his face is a fucking thundercloud until he realises Jared’s looking at him, and once he does it gets very — neutral. The epitome of ‘fine’.

Bryce is still masking a LOT at this point in the narrative. It’s kind of crazy to me how far he’s come at this point and how far he’s still going to go.

Jared’s at least ninety percent sure people have recognised Bryce, so he keeps it low when he leans in while Bryce is taking a long-overdue water break, shirt plastered to his back, and says, “Is it weird to say you look hot when you’re punching things?”

Bryce laughs a little breathlessly. “You hate when I fight,” he says.

“Yeah, but when you’re fighting guys are throwing punches back,” Jared says. “And I kinda like your face.”

This is going to keep holding true, much to Jared’s chagrin. Well, chagrin about the fighting: he’s cool continuing to like Bryce’s face.

They do, however, fuck in their own shower — no matter how many times Jared swears they’re never going to do that again, usually while nursing a minor injury, he gets Bryce naked and wet in an enclosed space with him and things go badly. Well, they go badly for his self-discipline; they go pretty okay otherwise. Neither of them even need an ice pack after

The one lesson that is never learned in this narrative, but hey: no ice pack this time.

“Cool,” Jared says. “You still want that crazy expensive catering company?”

“I mean, you keep looking at price per person, but it’s not that much when we only have—”

“You can go ahead and book them,” Jared says.

*

“Hey, is mid-July too soon for the wedding? That huge lake house you thought it’d be cool to rent out just told mom they got a cancellation then.”

Jared would literally marry him tomorrow if Bryce wasn’t so aghast at the idea of eloping.

“I know we haven’t ironed out, like—” Bryce says.

“Book it,” Jared interrupts.

Their entire wedding comes together on the wings of spite and Bryce is kind of loving it, tbh.

“Liar,” Jared says.

“Mom,” Bryce complains.

“Bear, you know you’re a bad liar,” Elaine says.

One of Bryce’s best-worst feelings is when Jared and Elaine team up on him. His favourite people are united! Against him.

Erin drops the ‘I don’t know how hockey works’ b.s. while Elaine’s there, which is good, because if Jared had to tell her one more time that icing doesn’t persist during the power play, while he’s already grit-tooth watching the Flames kill it, well —

Jared should not kill his sister.

This act, which was used to bug the SHIT out of her father and brother, is permanently dropped when she gets together with Julius, and Jared and Don both have dramatic ‘I KNEW IT’ conversations with her.

“But you would have had to tell them before the wedding,” Elaine says. “And telling them affects your career more than his.”

“How?” Jared asks. “He’s the high-profile player.”

“That’s my point,” Elaine says. “There’s always going to be a team that thinks his play makes a potential scandal worth it.”

And that isn’t true of Jared. He honestly like — his dad’s been telling him that since before he was drafted, that a team might decide it wasn’t worth the PR headache, pissing off the homophobic fans. And he knew that, intellectually he knew his dad was right, it’s just — he didn’t expect it to go as bad as it did. Maybe that was naive.

Jared would self-describe as a pessimist, but he’s actually the optimist, between him and Bryce. And he’s usually the one who’s right about how things will go down, versus Bryce, who tends to fear the worst, but unfortunately that’s not always the case.

“I worried about him a lot growing up. I’m sure you can — I worried about Bryce a lot. And I don’t worry — I don’t worry about him in the same way now. And you’re a big part of why I don’t. So thank you for that.”

“I didn’t really do anything,” Jared says. “Like, he kind of — it’s all him. He’s the one who did all the work, you know?”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Elaine says, reaching out and squeezing his hand, and Jared squeezes back.

This is probably my favourite Jared and Elaine moment in the entire series. The utter RELIEF it has been for Elaine, Bryce having Jared in his life. That fear has been so ever-present since Bryce was a child, the weight of it coming off was immense. She still worries about him, obviously, but before, she was Bryce’s sole support. Him having Jared is such blessing to her.

“Why’re you still up?” Jared asks.

“Waiting for you,” Bryce says, but he doesn’t protest when Jared pokes him to their room, supervises him getting into bed. Bryce gets out a plaintive “Come to bed,” before he crashes hard, and Jared gets Gatorade — blue, because Bryce earned it — and aspirin, puts them on Bryce’s bedside table in case he wakes up dehydrated and sore, which Jared knows from experience he almost definitely will. And Jared’s never played the kind of minutes Bryce did tonight. He adds an extra aspirin, just in case.

Soft shit, Matheson.

104 - Ember

Two of them are vanilla because Jared’s selfish and Bryce isn’t there, and anyway, no one dislikes vanilla, so it’s a good flavour to have.

I have been asked about the cake reversal, because Bryce has stated that he liked vanilla best when Jared got him a cupcake for a birthday very early in their relationship, and I will say this: Jared was visibly nervous he got the wrong flavour and Bryce was lying to make him feel better. Jared even pegged it at the time. Also as soon as he realised he could have a non-traditional wedding cake he got excited.

(He DOES like vanilla ice cream best, but he is a chocolate cake guy. Jared’s a chocolate ice cream and vanilla cake guy. Complementary couple.)

“I brought guests!” Bryce tells him, Chaz and Ashley walking in the door before Jared can do more than throw the nearest blanket over himself, give himself a little dignity. Not that Chaz hasn’t seen him in less hundreds of times, but context. Plus Ashley hasn’t, and does not deserve to be unexpectedly subjected to it. He twists it so it covers his chest too. He’s sure Ashley isn’t going to be scandalised by his nipples or whatever, but still.

“Beautiful blanket toga,” Chaz says.

He is stunning in his attire.

“We just got the cake decided,” Jared says. “Chocolate and vanilla, which isn’t like, totally traditional—” he pretends he doesn’t see Bryce rolling his eyes at him. “But it’s not like, a cupcake cake or whatever, so.”

“Aw, I like those little cupcake towers,” Ashley says. “They’re super cute.”

VINDICATION FOR HALLA.

Bryce eats it up, and Jared can’t blame him, considering that’s like, his first enthusiastic Matheson reception, barring Erin the irritating shadow and devoted future sister-in-law. Plus her glaring crush when he first came onto the scene. Maybe Jared will amend that to adult Mathesons — though like, his grandma’s a Murray, not a Matheson, so maybe that’s the difference. No hobgoblin gene.

Jared has the hobgoblin gene from both sides, his grandma has simply bamboozled him into thinking she’s not a hobgoblin herself.

It’s going to cost an absurd amount for something Jared will probably never wear again, except maybe to Oilers charity stuff — and even then hopefully he’ll have put on enough weight it won’t fit — and Jared almost protests and puts his foot down on getting one off the rack, despite Bryce’s obvious horror at the idea, but then he gathers all his reserves of spite and lets it happen.

Bryce continues to be very grateful to Jared’s spite in this matter.

Small potatoes is a stupid term, Julius texts back ten minutes later, ten minutes Jared imagines he spent looking up whatever the hell that meant and then trying to figure out why that was a thing, and then throwing his hands up at the English language. It’s easy to imagine because Jared’s seen him do it multiple times before.

And to be fair, it is a pretty stupid term. Like, what is it comparing the small potatoes to? Big potatoes? A pumpkin?

It literally has no defined etymology and that makes me fucking mad. A good idiom requires a root MEANING, even if it’s no longer relevant to modern life. Fuck you small potatoes.

Jared snorts, then texts Julius with a mad face. “I can’t believe you’re sulking,” Bryce says. “I’m not,” Jared says, and then sends Julius three more mad faces and a I cooked for you ALL YEAR and I get nothing. Thank you for your congratulations, Julius sends back twenty minutes later. Whatever we both knew you were a lock., Jared texts back

I love their friendship. Julius is the friend Jared deserves.

It feels vaguely unethical for them to get preferential treatment when everyone’s supposed to be equal, but Jared doesn’t want some random person at City Hall recognising Bryce, so he’s not actually complaining.

Love Jared like ‘I recognise this is the sort of preferential treatment that leads to systemic inequality which is bad…but also I appreciate it’.

“We’re getting married in July,” Jared says, just to like — tell her. She doesn’t care, she’s just telling them how long it’s valid for so they don’t have to get a new one, but it’s just. It’s cool, saying it to someone.

“Congratulations,” she says, both like she says it a billion times a day, and like she means it, means it as much for them as anyone else, no more or less.

“Thank you,” Bryce says, and it’s stupid, but Jared has the sudden urge to take his hand, follows through on it. She knows they’re getting married, it’s not like a little hand holding is going to shock her. Once again, she doesn’t bat an eye.

But then also NOT getting different treatment is meaningful as hell too.

105 - Promise

It turns out while Bryce’s celebrity was kind of handy in getting some strings pulled at City Hall, it is a pain in the fucking ass when it comes to getting an officiant. Jared figured they could get Elaine or Bryce’s grandpa or someone to get a licence for it, like he’s seen before, keep it in the family, but Alberta’s a buzzkill on that one, and they have to go official.

I ALSO figured that and was displeased with the government of Alberta. (But when am I not, you know? If I get the fucking 'tell the Feds' ad one more time during a hockey game so help me--)

Jared doesn’t want to do that. Like, for one, Bryce is going to have a speech that’s a billion times more romantic and great even if he doesn’t put any effort into it — and Jared knows he’s going to put effort in it. Jared’s is going to be awful in comparison. Every time Jared tries to talk about his feelings, it ends up terrible and often insulting. Bryce deserves better.

Look at Jared trying to make this sound like he’s refusing for Bryce’s sake. (though he is right, it is typically terrible and insulting.)

“You know, the ‘I take you, blah blah blah,’” Jared says. “She just wanted to know if we wanted to personalise them. You’re supposed to save the long stuff for the reception, you know, not drag the wedding on too long.”

Did Jared trawl wedding sites explicitly for this ammo? Absolutely. He’s even got the links saved in case Bryce asks for sources. Sources say: don’t do anything that takes over a minute, it’s a bad idea, it’ll bore your guests.

Any sources that said otherwise naturally were discarded because they did not suit Jared’s purposes.

Raf seems like the kind of guy who’d like, light candles at dinner for ambiance, and Chaz is totally the kind of guy who’d buy Ashley flowers ‘just because’, all these things Jared is totally deficient at

He’s got it backwards: Chaz is candle guy, Raf is flowers just because guy. (And for her mom! And sister! Grace’s fam love Raf so.)

lean on your teammates for help, right? If you’re weak on the point, don’t go there, let a teammate more capable have that slot. Teamwork 101.

God I love Jared trying to hide his machinations with hockey talk, like that’s going to fool anyone.

“No,” Raf repeats. “You have to do your own wedding stuff.”

“It’s just my vows,” Jared says.

“That’s the most important part,” Raf says, sounding faintly scandalised.

Raf is more than faintly scandalized, honestly.

“You seem like a romantic guy,” Jared says to Chaz after they wrap up for the day.

“Oh fuck no,” Chaz says. “I’ve already heard like three drafts of BJ’s vows, there’s no way I’m listening to yours too.”

Three drafts? In two days? Jared’s fucked.

“I was going to ask you to help me write them?” Jared says.

“That’s so much worse, no way,” Chaz says.

And Chaz is done.

He looks up some sample vows on his phone while he’s making him and Bryce dinner that night, and they leave him red with secondhand embarrassment. He can’t imagine saying anything even close to what they say. There will be no ‘light of my life’ leaving his mouth, true or not.

Look at this dude just slipping in that Bryce is the light of his life. Two people making this relationship mushy, Jared.

Jared was always kind of, well — he was a studious kid. He got good grades. He prepared for classes. So it seems to make sense to make a list as a starting point. Sort of a ‘Pros and Cons of Bryce Justin Marcus, Except Just the Pros Because Our Wedding is a Dumb Time To Mention the Cons, Unless the Cons are Endearing Ones’.

Can you imagine this dude listing Bryce’s cons during his vows to be ‘fair’. Pro: excellent at hockey. Con: needs to work on controlling his temper on the ice. Pro: romantic as fuck. Con: romantic as fuck.

Fuck. He is not good at this. This is not his thing. The list part, sure, but not the conveying emotion part. He has a ton of emotions for Bryce, but like, saying them? Oof.

Big oof. Especially considering Jared’s history when trying to convey said emotions.

He’s definitely crazy in love to be thinking about Bryce at like, forty, having a shitfit because he’s starting to go bald, or grey, when he’s so vain about his — admittedly terrific — hair. Or Bryce at sixty, buying a convertible all over again and thinking he’s so cool, or at ninety, grin as shiny white as ever because his teeth are all fake, and still being like ‘yeah, I want that guy’.

We all know this man is due for another red convertible decades from now, Jared has resigned himself already.

Jared closes the doc — password protected or not, no way he wants Bryce to accidentally stumble onto that ridiculousness — unlocks the door to the spare room — he was maybe a lot paranoid about Bryce not stumbling in on the ridiculousness — and wanders into the living room after hiding his laptop in said spare room.

Jared treating his vows like state secrets while Bryce has already emailed Ashley like five different versions for peer review.

He’s having a lot of feelings lately. It’s very disorienting. Like, he always has feelings, obviously, he’s not a robot, but he’s having so many. Bryce always does this to him, dammit.

Thankfully ‘how dare you make me feel feelings’ did not make it to the final vows.

[godofsunflowers]

Lately, I've experienced a different kind of transphobia and have been processing it. So, in the spirit of processing, aka venting; to trans men that take a "more traditionally feminine role" in a mlm relationship:

Don't let people tell you that. They can shut the fuck up. We deserve to be comfortable in our manhood and masculinity, and every transgender experience is unique. That's what makes us individuals that can form a community.

If you're a bottom/sub with a cis man, you are still a man. Your biological sex is not a cause for your preferred role/position. You can still be that even if you were born amab and not afab.

If you're a bottom/sub with a cis man and prefer using your afab genitalia, you are still a man. Some trans men don't have dysphoria using that in a sexual manner, some do have dysphoria with that, and both of these ideas can coexist in a safe space!

If you have a liking for eyeliner or makeup, and someone insinuates that you're doing it to impress your boyfriend, or that you're tapping into your "feminine energy" to attract him - know that that is complete and utter bullshit. I wore eyeliner in a men's style (think Johnny Depp), that actually helps me pass even more and I've never been misgendered while wearing, and I was told I was trying to do that before my bf (an out queer man) and I started dating. It's fucking ridiculous, and you can do whatever you want. Be stunning. Your primary goal is to do it for you if it makes you happy and not for anyone else.

If you're attracted to both men and women, but your attraction to them is different, that different kind of attraction is 100% valid. I am attracted to men and women romantically and physically, but I experience significantly higher sexual attraction toward men than I do women. But also, every attraction/interest you have in different people can be entirely different in general, and that's okay! There is so much grey area between specific queer identities, and we all find so much more about ourselves as we get older and experience more in our lives.

I've had people weaponize my being afab against me, but never while also using misogyny against me. This has been an Experience™, but one thing's for sure;

We do not have to prove ourselves as men. We do not have to explain and defend our masculinity to anyone.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

So I mentors Scott and Remy and there can we assume older sisters Jean and Rouge?

𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐗…

!!! GN reader, telepathic manipulation, overprotectiveness, mentions of comas, sickeningly sweet Jean, trackers, stalker Rogue-ish, infantilism, hints of Scott/Jean and Remy/Rogue (we all know Jean and Rogue wear the pants in their respective relationships and it lowkey shows here).

My eyes have been opened to a world of possibilities I didn’t even know existed.

If you’re someone who doesn’t take well to overbearing and strict yanderes, you may find yourself wondering why you would even bother sticking around Scott (cuz, y’know, you still think you have a say in the matter). The answer is simple: Jean. She comes and talks to you whenever Scott accidentally says something too harsh, softly assuring you that he didn’t mean any harm… he just has a hard time showing he cares! Don’t worry, dear. Jean will talk to him for you, and then all three of you can see about doing something fun later, okay?

She’s just so kind and considerate… it makes you forget she’s a telepath that can easily manipulate you into compliance.

Her and Scott are like the Yandere power couple. One’s an authoritative presence that can keeps you in line while the other offers you honey-sweet consolation afterwards. If you ever find yourself in any trouble, Jean can easily pinpoint your location for Scott to absolutely annihilate whoever or whatever the threat is. Though keep in mind that Jean isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, too. The only reason Scott throws all the punches instead of her is merely because he’s quicker to get his blows in. Should it be a situation where Scott isn’t there, Momma Jean is handing out comas like it’s the damn Oprah Winfrey show.

“I’ve got you, dear,” she’ll coo at you while stepping over a catatonic FOH bigot. “It’s okay. I’ll always be here for you.”

AND ROGUE, MAN. She finds you to be the cutest thing ever. Of course she’s gonna help Remy mentor you!! No one is even allowed to tease you including Remy, much to his chagrin when she’s around, unless they wanna fear for their own personal safety. She’ll be like, “WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING,” and if you flinch, she immediately switches up to the soft voice like, “oh, not you, sugah!! :)” and then it’s back to chewing out the poor soul who thought they could fuck with you.

She would definitely compliment Remy’s mentoring style well. I can see her chaperoning your little late night patrols, acting as a semi-voice of reason should trouble arise, but not actually stopping any of shenanigans afoot. As long as nothing happens to you, she’s pretty much your chill vodka aunt that bickers with Remy like they’re an old married couple. There’s kind of a mini feud between them to see who can shower you in the most love and affection, so expect a lot of gifts and physical contact.

Of course, like Remy, Rogue wants to know where you are 24/7. She’s privy to the tracking devices in your clothes, though she doesn’t check it constantly like Remy does, as she makes it a habit to always be near you. Mission assignments and direct orders have no effect on her; she’s gonna keep you in her line of sight no matter what anyone tells her. And of course this helps out Remy’s anxiety significantly. Rogue is basically the only person he trusts to keep you safe in his stead, so knowing she’s somewhere near you helps him breathe easier.

Now, there’s this weird contradiction in her own philosophy with you. As opposed to Remy’s “they’re just a petit trognon,” she likes to think of you as a big kid… in a very infantilizing way. It’s almost akin to a parent validating their 7 year old’s yearning for responsibility, where she wants you to believe you’re in control while still obviously babying you in the process. Of course you’re old enough to go to the mall on your own. But Rogue wants to go with you!! Not as a chaperone; you don’t need a chaperone, since you’re a big kid, right? It’s just that Rogue also wants to go to the mall!! For totally separate reasons, sugah!! Promise!!

I definitely see her and Jean doing this. They wanna create the illusion of treating you with respect but never actually giving it to you. For Jean, it might actually fly under the radar when considering she’s basically the Team Mom™ to begin with, not to mention Scott’s overbearing strictness possibly overshadowing her own weird behaviors (a little telepathic manipulation here and there also helps out). But in Rogue’s case, it may be a little more conspicuous. Her normally rough exterior completely melts when it comes to you, since you’re just the sweetest little thang ever!! She can’t help it!!

All four together are a wild ride. You have your strict dad, sweet mom, chill uncle, and batshit crazy aunt, all mixing together into this weird cacophony of accidental coparenting. While Scott and Remy don’t really get along with each other, I actually think Jean and Rogue would easily come to an understanding. They both think you’re adorable and want to viciously tear apart whoever wants to lay a finger on you. A completely normal common goal!! Jean will hand you over to Rogue like, “be a good dear for auntie” while preventing Scott from lunging at Remy with her telekinesis. This is just so fun, the five of you are a dysfunctional family that all of the other X-Men are forced to watch with absolute horror on their faces (and they don’t even know the full extent of how weird it is).

I’m so soft for this idea. I wish I could get darker, but I yearn for the comfort of Momma Jean and Taunty Rogue, SOBS.

[hellobitchlet]

Thoughts on Natlan act 3 and 4:

Act 3-

- there is seriously no point to giving Traveler an ancient name. They're very obviously just being given one bc the writers want to show off how amazing they are at everything again. If the whole point of ancient names is that it's solely a Natlan thing, then there's no point in Traveler getting one. Why were they and Paimon scrambling to get one? You're already being praised and given new abilities constantly, you don't fucking need it.

- that aside, Xilonen gave a decent explanation of how ancient names and the night kingdom work. I didn't feel like act 1 or 2 explained anything properly beyond "it sure exists and is important to the super special archon's plans", but Xilonen explaining that deeds have to happen inside of Natlan and be recorded and acknowledged by the Wayob (who will only acknowledge ppl from Natlan) was easy to understand and made perfect sense. My only problem here is that it should've been explained this cleanly back in act 1, before we started using ancient names for drama. Because, you know, maybe I would've cared more about it then?

- the Ororon stuff would've been much more interesting and tense if it wasn't introduced by... being randomly told to you. In the middle of an unrelated plotline. And then spending the whole fucking time assuring you that he's a great person while you follow a trail. And doing nothing else except experience Citlali's inner thoughts. That was literally the entire build up to meeting him.

- despite it being handled in the most boring way possible (and god, do I want to emphasize that they handled it in a boring way), I do like the plotline between Citlali, Ororon, and Capitano. It's a lot more interesting than the basic ass saving Natlan plot, which is about as much of a stereotypical hero plot as they could've made it. I honestly adore Citlali and Ororon now, they're definitely my favorites of the Natlan cast. Like, they had actual on screen conflict with one another for a few minutes! They care sooo much about each other and it was shown through their actions and interactions with each other instead of just monologuing it to Traveler. The bar is below the fucking ground...

- I especially enjoyed seeing Citlali getting drunk and accidentally spilling about her problems. However... it's funny (read: annoying) to think about how long it's taken for this to actually fucking happen when Kaeya and Venti have been here since the beginning, and about how much Kaeya and Venti have been shit on for being alcoholics. It was probably one of the best character building moments I have ever seen from Genshin, but man, a newly introduced Natlan character should not have been the first one to do this.

- "we've only known each other for a few days, right? What would you think of me if I were to start dumping all my complaints on you after we've only just met?" Oh thank god she has some actual self awareness. I wish other characters (playable and npc) would stop infodumping their entire backstories the moment they're introduced. Ultimately, the awkward telepathy moment that they're probably never going to explain served the same purpose. But that wasn't something she was doing on purpose, so I'm willing to forgive her for it and pin it on the writers instead.

-it really sucks that they're being so confusing about Citlali's age. You know it's because of Hoyo's refusal to make playable characters that aren't 1000% conventionally attractive. They're seriously trying to give us a teacher/student relationship in which the teacher is supposed to be significantly older than the student and NOT give her a single wrinkle. She also kept saying stuff that implied she would age to be hundreds of years old, so I want to be interested in that, but it just got caught up in the confusion of "wtf is her age?!"

- I got increasingly annoyed every time Traveler shared the Capitano stuff with others. You fucking idiot!!! He specifically told you not to do that!!! You barely even doubted Mavuika even though you barely know her and she's mostly just been standing around going "trust me on this bc I know what I'm doing" this whole time!!! Are you sure you even care about what he had to say?! Because he specifically said he would tell you if you actually fucking listened to him, which you are going out of your way to NOT do!!! Just a few real life months ago you were acting all buddy-buddy with Arlecchino!!! Can you be consistent about your opinions on the Fatui for one second!!!

- they were really trying super hard to make Capitano wanting to save Natlan mysterious, and make him have ulterior motives (like literally every other harbinger since Scara), but like... First off, this is the last gnosis the Fatui doesn't have, and second, he directly said that Mavuika failing would be bad for the rest of Teyvat as well. He already had perfectly good reasons. You don't need to make yet another harbinger have ulterior motives.

- I almost liked the Chasca and Chuychu moment. But I say almost because... there was no fucking point to it except to tell you that the Fatui found an ancient relic. You were just stuck in dialogue box hell that made a weak attempt at pretending there was gameplay by putting a timer on single dialogue options (not even being given multiple options? really?). That whole thing should've been a sneaking sequence with Traveler. There's literally no reason why it wasn't one. It wouldn't even require good writing to add that. Just have Mavuika say that someone found a large Fatui camp, and have Traveler volunteer to sneak in to check it out. Then, you could've had Traveler finding the relic, and maybe finding Capitano and Ororon and follow them to the domain while they discuss their plan. There you go. That would've saved you a lot of time stuck in dialogue boxes, by removing this sequence and the Ororon memory sequence and replacing it with an extended period of gameplay.

-However, the role reversal and the actually showing how good the sisters are at working together improved their characters a lot for me. Chasca doesn't feel as much like a Shenhe copycat when fighting with Chuychu. But even then, it was very annoying when it turned into "don't worry, we don't actually mean what we say! We're just stubborn!" immediately after their sequence. I could fucking tell, Genshin. I'm not a child.

Act 4-

- ...in theory, initially fighting with Capitano and eventually convincing him to help us is an okay storyline. But none of this felt like fighting him! We literally spent the whole fucking time following him and his troops around and debating what his intentions are! And no, a single fancy cutscene unrelated to Traveler doesn't count! We never got to hear his side of the story until after he failed, and he just had a 10 second spat with Mavuika, revealed that he's from Khaenri'ah, and reluctantly agreed to Mavuika's plan within 5 minutes.

- also, after Fontaine offloaded the majority of Furina's backstory onto an inner monologue in act 5 that just reiterated what we already knew about her, I am not a fan of poor Ororon getting a similar treatment in the end. It's not as bad bc it served a purpose in the story besides "look at how sad he is!", but suddenly becoming one of the special heroes his super special archon wanted and having no objections was a really boring ending to what started off as the first on screen playable ch vs playable ch conflict we've had since like... Childe in Liyue I think? Hoyo is lucky that it has cultivated fandoms that see monologues and sudden info dumps as good writing.

-I'm glad that seelies are finally confirmed to be angels, and that we're getting more proper Celestia lore, but once again, Hoyo is lucky that it has cultivated fandoms that see monologues and sudden info dumps as good writing.

- I have mixed feelings about Capitano's backstory and intentions. On one hand, I like that he's from Khaenri'ah, and I'm very glad that he knows the abyss sibling and Dain. I really like the Khaenri'ah related parts. On the other hand, I'm not a fan of the Natlan parts of his backstory. As I've said before, I'm really fed up with Genshin tailoring harbinger backstories so that they're part of the lore of the nation they show up in, instead of Snezhnaya. And I'm even more fed up with them making every harbinger have different goals that are unrelated to the Fatui. I've talked about this before in this post.

-going back to the point about his goals, his backstory can still perfectly serve as an explanation for why he's helping the Tsaritsa, with or without the Natlan part. You still didn't need to pull any of the special motives stuff. It would've made perfect sense to say that Capitano (+ Tsaritsa as well maybe) was afraid that the destruction of Natlan could interfere with their plan, so Tsaritsa has been sending him and some troops to deal with the situation and try to get the gnosis in the process. But, of course, Mavuika would fight back and be a powerful opponent, so this mini war between them has been going on for a while, which would tie back to Varka's letter from Weinleslfest first mentioning him going to Natlan 2 years ago.

-...oh, wait. That Weinleslfest moment and Mika's backstory was probably just to remind you that he and Varka existed and foreshadow him being in Natlan and didn't actually mean anything. I know this isn't related to Natlan at all, I just felt like saying it. We don't talk about Mika enough, okay?

- with all that being said, after how much I hated Arlecchino, and Dottore being used as a scapegoat to make playable harbingers look better, I had little interest in Capitano initially. But I do actually like him now. Maybe even just as much as I like Citlali and Ororon?

- speaking of the Fatui, I have to mention how weird it is that the pyro gnosis being the last gnosis the Fatui doesn't have isn't treated like a big deal at all. The idea of Capitano even bringing the gnosis to the Tsaritsa is barely even mentioned. We're literally going to Snezhnaya next, and the Fatui screen time is STILL not focused on the Tsaritsa's plans?! There is no worry about what will happen if he succeeds in getting the gnosis? No talk about what the Tsaritsa's plans could be? No talk about what it could mean for Natlan or the rest of Teyvat? No connecting this story to the overarching plot beyond a few lore reveals? Nothing??

- Genshin is seriously bad at stakes. THAT WASN'T A FUCKING WAR, THAT WAS A SINGLE BATTLE! It just... suddenly sprung up, and it took about 10 minutes, but I almost started feeling tense. There were actual corpses all over the place, and I was fighting non stop instead of being stuck in a dialogue box, even if the mobs themselves were fairly boring, and then... Chasca suddenly became one of the special heroes and everything was over. All of that was like... half an act of fighting? Literally any other game would have at least finished the 'war' at... the end of the story? Obviously? We couldn't have at least waited to finish this in act 5?? Seriously?? This whole thing was just a vehicle to quickly make Chasca one of the heroes, finish the 6 heroes plot point, and then show a hint of the false sky??

- gameplay wise, why did the handle the 'war' like that? What was with the slow ass hot air balloon I was forced to use 3 times- but was allowed to teleport to places the rest of the time? Why was I forced into a situation where I couldn't leave, when I was literally just in Natlan and not a domain? Why did we suddenly switch to a different dialogue box just for a few minutes?? Someone PLEASE explain to Hoyo that adding new stuff doesn't automatically make it good. Or, I guess 'novel', as their surveys put it.

- Chuychu was the closest I've ever come to actually being sad for an npc's death. Probably because I actually saw someone react to it, instead of Genshin just expecting you to care because Paimon is telling you to. Because of the Chuychu stuff, I'm actually starting to like Chasca, and I'm glad for it. Liking a character in theory despite canon is much better for rewriting stories than disliking them entirely and not knowing what to do with them (*glances at Fontaine*).

- I'm starting to see that the 6 heroes plot is probably just their current ploy to place the focus on the characters who have come out this update, or are coming out next update. Act 2 has Mualani becoming a Special Hero, because her first banner was up at the time. Then act 3 and 4 had Ororon and Chasca becoming Special Heroes, because Xilonen already is one and they're coming out next update.

- that being said- I feel bad for Kachina and Mualani. Kachina was the obvious 'main character' of act 1, with Mualani and Kinich as supporting characters. But then in act 2, the focus was shifted over to Mualani, because she's a 5 star and her first banner is happening, so they need to convince people to like her. And in the process, Kachina was screwed over in what should've been her plotline, becoming a supporting character whose role is to prove how good at The Power of Friendship Mualani is and introduce us to the 6 heroes stuff. ...and then both are screwed over in the very next update because they're already out and don't have anything else to do.

- I know that she'll presumably get more screen time when she comes out, but it's greatly worrying me (for reasons that should be obvious) that Iansan is barely being given any screen time. I am so worried that they're trying to pull a Xinyan or a Candace with her, because of course they would.

- literally what response are you expecting me to have to Xilonen slowly dying for Traveler to get an ancient name when it's revealed in the randomist and calmest way possible?? It's obviously supposed to be cheap emotional fuel, but both Xilonen and Citlali are being so calm about this random reveal that I didn't end up caring either. I don't care so much that I almost forgot to mention it in this post.

Overall, not impressed at all, but there are a few tiny gems in here that will be good for when I eventually have to get to it in my rewrite lol.

[nekropsii]

…I swear to God, why have like half the Beforan players tried to bone someone significantly younger than them??? Probably because the author’s a creep who got a kick out of it, but still, between what was just discussed with Rufioh, Aranea trying to hit on Jake, Cronus trying to bone his dancestor (jesus fuck) and Meenah dating a physically 13-year-old Vriska… that’s a THIRD of the dancestors? And those are just the four I’m aware of, I would be very disappointed but not at all surprised if there was a fifth.

Honestly, adults having inappropriate relationships with children is just a heavily recurring theme in Homestuck... It's not really all that surprising when you take a step back. Doc Scratch, Hussie's own self insert, Bro Strider... They're all much older than the Alpha Trolls are, and are creepy towards the Betas in some way.

Further discussion going under the cut.

Content Warning: Discussion of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Pedophilia.

... Man, I'm having to write about this topic a lot lately, aren't I? This isn't even close to the only ask left in my inbox about something adjacent to this. It's kind of... Flattering, in the weirdest way possible? I don't know, I'm often approached for my opinions on some of the much more serious and dark aspects of Homestuck. Things that people don't really know, or talk about, or address- like the racism issues, Dave's CSA, et cetera. It's not really prestigious, I don't think, but it does require a level of trust in maturity and literacy. I appreciate it.

Anyways, this is mostly going to be me adding to and even debunking your ask here. I think this subject both deserves and requires specificity. It's an extremely emotionally charged topic, so peoples imaginations tend to get a little... Carried away, when they don't know the full extent to what's happening. Considering how it's not easy to term search things said by most of the Alpha Trolls, and some people really just do not want to/cannot interact with things relating to Child Harm and Abuse... There's bound to be both a lack of information and an excess of misinformation. It's understandable, but... Deeply annoying for me in particular. Lol.

Let's do this.

---

The inclusion of Rufioh in this is both correct and based on some of my own posting on the matter. Rufioh was hitting on Aradiabot, who is 13, because she reminded him of Damara... Specifically remarking upon how she's "just like the real thing". Charming...

Here's where I'm going to supply a debunk: Aranea did not try to hit on Jake, and he is not significantly younger than her. That's a pretty ugly misconception. She's 19, and he is 16. She had zero romantic or sexual feelings towards Jake. Yes, she tried to kiss him once... Because she knew that he was attracted to her and assumed he'd appreciate her making a move on him. This was part of her little scheme to make him Hope-splode. She never did actually kiss him, and there was genuinely no consent violations involved in the situation- he told her to stop before she could, and she did. It was just a misunderstanding. It happens. If you're still put off by that age gap, that's fair and entirely respectable, but that's not "significantly younger", and the situation wasn't really objectively creepy.

... Cronus is... Fucking gross. His whole gimmick is that he is "The Worst Character in Homestuck", and boy does he succeed at it. He won that title. Earned it. Absolutely flying colors. He tried to "get with" Karkat, Tavros, and Eridan. By which I mean he stalked Karkat all the way to his house and then tried to break into it, got really handsy with Tavros in the middle of a crowd, and... Sexually assaulted Eridan- his own flesh and blood!- also in the middle of a crowd. All of these kids are 13 years old, and his main character trait is "Sexual Assault + Harassment". No one's free. Not even literal children! Cronus counts as a full-blown Pedophile, by the way!! There's your fun fact for the day.

Then there's Meenah, who had her whole thing with (Vriska), who was 13. Not just physically, but mentally, too. She was just 13. That was a whole arc, so it doesn't really need much elaborating upon, I hope.

---

That's... Just about it, I think? That's all I remember, anyway, as far as the Alpha Troll Age Gap Weirdness goes. So... Only 3 of them are really problems in that respect, which is 1/4th of the cast. Still an upsetting amount, but not... As bad as 1/3rd, as far as optics goes.

In full honesty, it's kind of funny to me how the Alpha Trolls who have overtly sexual theming are... Pretty normal about kids. Damara's nice to them and nobody else, we've got zero reason to suspect Mituna of anything, and Porrim's just chilling. It's accurate, if anything.

Hopefully this has been fun and/or informative. Have a lovely day.

[the-chaos-crew]

okay this is gonna be SUPER different than most of my posts but god ding diddly dang it I'm frustrated so hear me out

I had a bad childhood, like a really bad one, as far as I know since I was 6 but my dad and older brother think I probably was affected by the insane shit since 4yrs old. which if you don't know is pretty fucking young. and that traumatic childhood lasted until I was about 11. that's a pretty long fucking time for trauma to build up over time.

now because of this shit childhood, I developed the coping mechanism known as dissociation. I often feel like I'm in a dream or I'm watching someone else live my life and it's really really weird. now sometimes though, that dissociation is taken to an extreme. and extreme where I just suddenly BLIP lose several hours or more of time and I have no memory of it.

my IRL friends have told me that during these periods of time where I just black out, I act completely differently or my behavior shifts suddenly

I've tried denying that this is a thing and at one point I did consider Dissociative Identity Disorder. I snapped out of it of course cause I'm too young for that to start disrupting my life, right? yes my abuser is gone, she'll never return, I mean how could she when she is in an urn sitting on a shelf now. but, I'm a teen now, and in therapy, I should be fine and healthy now right?

I told my therapist about how these black outs in my memory freak me out and I just cannot keep ignoring it anymore, and my therapist told me to talk to my psychiatrist cause she might know a bit more and be able to help me

you wanna know. what my psychiatrist said? what she said about this very worrying and distressing thing that affects my life and relationships?

"you're fine, it isn't affecting you that significantly" (while I was there crying cause I am honestly scared about whatever is going on) "it sounds totally normal to me, everyone gets a bit more extreme in their emotions"

LIKE WHAT. LADY. AUGHHHFHFFHH

she completely waved off my concerns.

I don't try to get into discourse in stuff I'm not even a part of, but fuck man. this is what mental illness fakers are really doing. "erm endos aren't taking resources away erm uh" BRO. MY THERAPIST KNOWS OF DID, SHE KNOWS THE ABSOLUTE SHIT I WENT THROUGH AS A KID. and yet she isn't too sure about going anywhere in that realm of possibility other than me dealing with dissociation above the average for C-PTSD sufferers. why? because my therapist has dealt with one too many fakers trying to be fucking debilitated like I am, without the actual debilitation part!

my psychiatrist is waving my concerns and problems away because she knows that a lot of kids of my generation are just saying this shit for attention or clout or to validate their delusions

mental illness fakers are making it so no one believes the people who are actually struggling and it's making me pissed off. I DONT WANT TO LOSE HOURS OF MY LIFE TO SOME OTHER FACET IN MY BRAIN. I WANT TO GET HELP FOR THIS SHIT. BUT NO ONE WILL FUCKING BELIEVE OR LISTEN TO ME.

I WONDER. FUCKING. WHY.

okay. rant over. sorry. I'm just super fucking pissed and I just want help for whatever the fuck is going on with me dude

[wetcatspellcaster]

Hello! In the spirit of Rosalie Lore questions I have one as well. As long as it’s not spoilers, how do you see their relationship with Astarion when she’s significantly older — in her sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond?

hmmm, anon. I'm worried this one could potentially have consequences!

generally, I'm happy to have everyone imagine whatever future they want for the characters as I write them. I finish my fics at the point where I'm happy and the story feels complete to me, I'm honestly not particularly fussed about what's comes after. I also know a lot of people are having feelings about immortality vs. mortality in the case of Rosalie, and I'm more than happy for people to end their comfort reading in whatever way gives them most comfort! If you want a world where they're together forever, you go for it!

with that being said, I'm also happy to answer your question, I've just put it under the cut so if people want to resolve things the way they want them they have that option. don't like don't read!

for me, I genuinely don't see many timelines - except Pieces, where they have lost time to make up for and to mourn - where Rosalie isn't mortal. this is partly bc I didn't know tiefling age ranges, when I first wrote her - I'd misunderstood the source text, and thought they lived a lot longer than they did!! (to like 150-200 years). when I found out i was wrong, it did feel sad initially, but I found that I actually liked that feeling bc it mirrored something in my own experience, of thinking you have more time with a person than you end up having (insert gesture to personal life here. but alongside a gesture to shadowgast, my favourite critical role ship. i love immortal/mortal pairings actually, D&D is fucked up for putting humans in a world where others live for half a millenia).

so I imagine that, even in timelines where Astarion is cured of vampirism or True Resurrected, as an elf in his??? late 30s?? he outlives Rosalie by a long way. I think as Rosalie ages, they stay together but their relationship gradually becomes more platonic from her 60s/70s, the same way that most marriages that have lasted a really long time become more companionable, with romance and desire still there but intimacy being the primary factor. if sex is something Astarion wants (I fall differently on this issue every time I think about it) they potentially move to an Open Relationship in Rosalie's elderly life, but every other need I imagine is still fulfilled the way a relationship between two aging people is fulfilled. they can still be close, still live together, still have fun. and then, yes. Rosalie dies at some point.

I know that this is not something people like to imagine for their comfort characters, so I'm not going to force the issue! But it is my personal belief that even if any romanced!Tav dies - not just Rosalie - the impact that they have on Astarion's life going forward is probably astronomical and indelible. They have helped him, over a stretch of decades, build up the tools with which to enjoy and appreciate whatever life he makes for himself after them. He care about others, and can form connections with others, partly because of them. I imagine he goes on to have future relationships, and though none of them are the same ,they are had in the knowledge that she was the person that made them possible. That doesn't mean that all of the future partners are inferior to her, they're just different - and I think those partners are probably capable of appreciating and cherishing the memory of her along with him, because they know she helped shape the man they love, and they know it's partly because of her that he's even alive.