Ask meme for people in their 30s
What was the first piece of furniture you bought?
What proportion of your meals do you cook?
Foaming hand soap or normal hand soap?
Favorite chore?
Least favorite chore?
Most precious thing one of your pets has destroyed?
Any groceries you've been getting into lately?
What cleaning product do you swear by?
What's your emotional support craft?
Youtube, cable TV, or streaming?
What's something you saved up for and then regretted buying?
How many cups can you see from where you're sitting?
Which filter are you most likely to go "eh, it's probably fine" when you find out you need to change it?
How often do you take baths?
Do you go down each aisle when you grocery shop, or only the ones you know you need stuff from?
Where do you go when you need to get out of the house but it's raining?
What's a movie you saw recently that you liked?
Pro or anti tchotchkes?
What's your go-to tape?
What's in your freezer right now?
Last concert you attended?
Favorite grocery store?
Paper bags, plastic bags, or reusable bags?
Do you get your government mandated 8 hours every night?
Favorite old person activity?
Would you rather sit on the porch drinking sweet tea or sit by the lake drinking beers?
Do you prefer Boardgame Night, Build-Your-Own-Pizza Night, or Movie Night with your friends?
Be honest, do you like all of the pictures of their babies that your friends send you?
Go-to holiday card format?
How many pairs of scissors do you own?
Do you still own your first car?
How do you take your morning coffee/tea?
What's something you collect?
What's your commute like?
Aisle at the grocery store you never bother walking down?
Do you keep a daily journal or agenda?
Do you still listen to the same music you listened to in high school?
What's the last filter you changed?
What little treat do you always get when you run errands?
Grocery list or no grocery list?
What's the oldest thing you own?
What's an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?
Favorite book you've read recently?
Honest feelings on Settlers of Catan?
What's something you wish you had more time for?
What kind of stuff do you keep on the door of your refrigerator?
Lamps or overhead lighting?
If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?
Do you bring a bag with you everywhere you go?
Pro or anti throw pillows?
How many blankets do you keep in your living room?
Did your relationship with your parents get better when you stopped living with them?
What's worse, the DMV or the Social Security Office?
Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?
Favorite high-effort meal that you make?
Favorite low-effort meal that you make?
Do you tend to bring an appetizer, entree, dessert, or drinks to a potluck?
What kind of bag do you use for your bag full of bags?
If you died and your ghost was stuck in the outfit you're wearing right now for the rest of time, would you be happy with it?
Do you have an opinion on your local weather reporter?
Do you have a favorite brunch spot?
Where are you on the minimalism-maximalism kinsey scale?
Opinion on Bath and Body Works?
Last time you visited a farmer's market?
Anything you're procrastinating on right now?
Do you get your taxes in as soon as possible, at the last minute, or late?
Do you keep any stuffed animals on your bed?
Are your garbage bags scented or unscented?
What are you looking forward to next week?
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I imagine that Johnny's "uncle" instincts are so strong that he would do anything for the MOB and Simon's kids, it doesn't matter that "the kids" are cats. Also i think Simon would have a talk with MOB (and Soap) along the lines "if something happens to me he is the person who would take care of you". ~ i spend to much time daydreaming about this fic
mail-order bride
johnny watches with a careful eye as simon disassembles his rifle. he's methodical about it, very careful. he has a clear desk in front of him, and every piece that comes out has a place on the surface, a special spot that it must go.
"ye called fer me, LT?" johnny asks, knocking on the door gently. simon nods, not looking up from where he's sitting. he motions to the chair in front of the desk, and johnny takes a seat, hooking his thumbs into his tact vest and spreading his legs as he sits there. "what do ye need?"
"'ave somethin' ta say," simon mutters. "'n i'm gonna say it, and y'r gonna keep quiet and not interrupt me. and when i finish, ya aren't gonna say anythin' about it. and we aren't gonna talk about it ever again. say ya understand me, sergeant."
johnny swallows, shuffling in his seat before nodding.
"aye," he says lowly. "roger tha'."
simon sniffs, picking up the barrel and using a microfiber cloth to rub it clean. he leans back in his chair, not meeting johnny's eyes.
"tha' last op got me thinkin'," simon mutters. "thinkin' a lot." he sighs, deep from his chest. "wot would happen to my girls. if somethin' were to happen to me."
johnny purses his lips, his palms getting a little clammy. but he doesn't speak, because he's been ordered not to.
"and if tha' happens," simon continues. "i don't want anyone else lookin' after them except for you, johnny."
their eyes meet finally, and johnny swallows hard. it's a long gaze, and they hold each other there for a few moments to get an understanding of one another, to speak without speaking.
johnny stands, shaking his head. it's hard for him to believe that simon could die. he's unkillable. he's ghost. he's a man too capable of staying alive, too good at crawling out of early graves, that he doesn't understand truly what it is he's seeing in his lieutenant right now.
the thing in his eyes, he's just never seen it before. it's fear.
"simon."
your greeting as he steps through the front door immediately makes his shoulders relax. you're in the living room in nothing but one of his old shirts, standing there with a big smile on your face. his eyes rake down your body, over your bare legs and socked feet. your smile is bright and contagious, and he drops his bag off as you come closer to him. as always, your hands find the hem of his skull mask and slip it up and over your head, and you giggle when he blushes as you look over his face.
"you're so handsome," you whisper, and he clicks his tongue, shaking his head. you lean up on your toes and kiss him warmly, smoothing your hands up his big arms and wrapping them around his neck. simon can't help himself; he slides his hands down your back and slips them up the hem of the shirt you wear, cupping your ass in both gloved hands and squeezing hard. you laugh into the kiss, pulling away slowly, meeting his eyes. he looks tired. he looks...sad. "simon...is everything okay?"
you swipe your thumbs under his eyes, smudging the eye-black there, and he just shrugs. he doesn't lie. it isn't okay, he isn't okay, and you kiss him again to say you're sorry, because you don't know if he would want to hear that.
"i, uhm...ordered a pizza," you say softly. "thought we could watch a really bad movie and eat gross."
simon smirks, leaning his forehead against yours.
"i'd like tha'."
as you're plating up greasy slices of pizza, simon passes a piece of paper to you. it's an index card with a phone number on it and an address. the address is far, really far, and you lick the sauce off your finger before looking up at him.
"what is this?" you ask, taking it from him.
"tha's johnny," simon murmurs. "if anythin' ever happens...if ya ever need me...'n i'm not 'ere--" you open your mouth to say something, but simon shushes you gently. "--if somethin' ever happens to me...you call johnny."
you purse your lips, meeting his eyes for just a second before looking back down at the card.
"nothing's gonna happen to you, simon--"
he cups your face in his hands, shaking his head. he's staring down at you, pleading, asking you to just do this for him, to just say yes, to not fight him on this one thing because he needs this.
you press the index card to your chest gently, nodding finally.
"yeah...okay..." you whisper. "i'll call him, simon. if something happens...i'll call him."
if something happens, if something happens, if something happens--
"simon," you whisper, grabbing his eyes again. he blinks, and you compose yourself when you see that glaze over his eyes, the slight shake of his bottom lip. you have never seen him this way. you have never seen him shake ever before. this was your husband. simon riley, made of nothing but dense rock and steel. but his thoughts are far away. his thoughts are somewhere else, seeing a scenario in his mind that you imagine may not be hard to think about, as if he's lived something like it himself.
the unknown. the despair. the aftermath.
the inevitable.
"simon."
your voice brings him back. he's back in the kitchen. he's back at home. he can hear the cats in the living room, the little bells on their collars ringing as they chase each other in little chaotic circles.
he's back with you. in his little bubble. he's praying to a god he doesn't believe in that it won't burst so easily.
"dont worry, simon. i'll...i promise i'll call."
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It’s lunchtime at the military base, and you can’t decide what to eat. Ghost is getting hangry.
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“It’s a simple question,” he says. “What do you want?”
“I don’t know, Lieutenant.”
“Are you hungry?” He asks and lifts his hands.
“Yes, sir.”
“What exactly are you hungry for?”
“I-I don’t know.”
He drops his arms to his sides and sits at the corner of his desk. He touches the back of his neck with one hand while supporting himself with the other.
“Every fucking day, you do this to me,” he murmurs. “If you don’t decide this time, I’ll go eat alone.”
“Oh! Is that so?” You squint and hunch forward at your desk.
“Yes!” He yells as he stands up and walks towards you. “Yes, I will. In fact, I would love to.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, and your jaw drops. How dare he? You’d been teammates for years, sticking with him through thick and thin, never betraying him once. But now he...
“...Would love to?!”
“That’s right!” He snaps and slams his hands against your desk. “So, for the last time: What. Will. It. Be?”
You lean back in your chair and bite your pen while considering your options. Ghost’s gaze darts from you to the pen, then back. He groans and grabs the pen from your hand, tossing it to the side.
“Pens are off the menu today,” he declares, snapping his fingers, “I need an answer. Now.”
Dumfounded, you stare at the pen on the floor. If someone else had done this to you, you would have slapped them in the face. Worse, if he had watched anyone else treat you that way, he would have ripped their limbs off their body.
But he’s hangry. As insignificant as this conversation appears, he doesn’t handle his hunger with the same poise he handles other, more complex situations. Not only that, but your indecisiveness doesn’t help, either. You need to make a decision quickly, so you sit up straight and place your hands on the table.
“What are my options again?” you ask.
“Pizza or burger.” He replies sternly.
“I don’t want piz—”
“Burger it is, then,” he says with a nod. He knocks his knuckles twice on the desk and strides towards the office door.
“W-wait, Ghost, wait!”
He sighs and leans against the door, his hand on the handle.
“I don’t like the base’s burgers.” You mumble.
“Nobody likes the base’s burgers!” he yells. “But we still eat them!”
“I was wondering,” you say and lower your voice, “if there is another choice?”
He’s softly bashing his head against the door, and you try to persuade him that there should be a third option—a vegetarian meal, perhaps. In response, he begins making whimpering noises. He’s the one getting on your nerves now.
“You know what?” you snap, “I’ll go check by myself.”
He extends a hand in your direction and shows you his palm.
“No, no, no, no!” he cries. “You join the others in the queue, and the entire base will starve until you decide!”
You scoff at his sarcasm, and he opens the door.
“Listen,” he says, “I’ll go check and call you, okay?”
“LIEUTENANT!” you shout, but he slams the door behind him. You peek over at his desk. “You forgot your phone...” you murmur to yourself.
The lieutenant was a very cold man when you first met him. His responses were limited to yeses and nos with the occasional shrug, and he never joined you in everyday job activities, especially at lunchtime. You’d always eat alone in the mess hall, and if your breaks coincided with that of Gaz or Soap’s, you’d sit with them and eat lunch together. Ghost would normally sit in the office or hide in a corner around the base and eat since he didn’t want anyone to see him without his mask. But slowly, he came to trust you all with his face, and you’d eat together, locked in your office.
You look at the time. Given his hunger when he left, he should have returned five minutes ago. What if he gave up on you and is already eating with the rest? Sure, your indecisiveness annoys him, especially since he has to deal with it daily, but he’d never let you eat alone, right? On the other hand... he may be trying to teach you a lesson.
You take another glance at the time. This doesn’t feel right. You start cleaning up your desk to head for the kitchen, but someone knocks on the door.
“It’s open,” you announce, “come on in!”
“I’ve got my hands full.” You hear Ghost reply.
You walk up to the door and swing it open. Ghost stands there with a serving trolley full of dishes.
“Thanks,” he murmurs while he pushes the trolley inside the office.
“You forgot your phone!” you inform him.
“I didn’t forget it,” he says as he stops the trolley in front of your desk. “I’d rather put my bare hand in a fire and let it simmer than add a third option to your dilemma and let you decide while there’s a queue of starving soldiers behind me.”
He removes the plates from the trolley and arranges them on your desk. “Here’s the fucking pizza, the fucking shitburger, and the tofu version of the shitburger.”
He places another plate with five pizza slices on his desk. He removes his mask and immediately slaps a piece in his mouth.
“That’s a lot of food, Lt.,” you whisper, scanning the plates before you.
He turns his head towards you and keeps chewing. “Yeah,” he says, swallowing, “better have all the options in front of you than squeeze any reserve of patience I have left.”
You take a slice of pizza from your tray and bite into it.
He stares at you, raises his plate to the sky, and rambles about how “you didn’t want pizza before.” You clarify that, while you still don’t want pizza, it appears to be the best option among the three.
“However,” you continue, “I would murder for a good burger.”
He swallows and takes a second pizza slice from his plate.
“I know a place,” he explains. “We can go tonight.”
“Lieutenant, you smooth operator!” you tease, “like on a date?”
He nods and takes another mouthful. He doesn’t even bother looking at you. He’s too preoccupied with nourishing his massive body to worry about your mocking.
“What kind of a place is it?” You ask.
“It’s a shithole,” he says, “but it does the best burgers you’ve ever had.”
“So, what should I wear?”
He stops eating and aggressively shakes his head.
“Nuh-uh,” he says. “I won’t get involved in your woes again—I’ll give you the address, and you’ll be there at 8 p.m.”
“Are you going to email me the menu so I can decide what to eat ahead of time?”
He swallows and looks at you. “I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says, taking another bite.
“Why?”
“Because there’s no menu at my place.”
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