#do eye have any urge to reread it of eye ever find it? NO! Was it funny as hell? YES!

[jonahmagnus]

The funniest fic I ever read was a deeply nsfw anime fanfiction I found while I had a fever of about 108° degrees and all I can vividly remember is the character who can teleport using different a windows movemaker default transition when ever he did it. Like it was an active choice he made every single time.

[erwinsvow]

we need more moment where shy!reader was studying and practicing new things to show rafe!! ik that girl is so kinky and it’s always the shy girls <33

YESS omg i srsly love that drabble when i reread it im like she was cookin.. i feel like shes the type to try to prep herself with a dildo bc she can never take all of rafe but imagine he found it n was like ?!!?

really—your boyfriend was too big. it was excessive, and though you could never find the words to tell him to stop or slow down—mostly because you didn't want him to—he always did anyways.

no matter how much you insisted that you could take all of him, rafe didn't like to listen. so you were stuck in a conundrum, and your choices were either lying to your boyfriend that it didn't hurt or accepting the fact that he'll never be as rough with you as you want.

you were willing to sit down and accept a lot of things without a fight—but this was not one of them.

one discreetly wrapped delivery later, you had yourself your very own rafe-sized dildo—a pretty pink color and of such a size that it had your insides churning with anticipation. about half an hour later with the use of some lube and lots of work, you were successfully able to fit about three-fourths. it wasn't perfect, yet, but it was a work in progress.

you didn't want to overdo it and end up insanely sore either, and you were beginning to realize even half was enough to have you cumming over and over again. so much so that you almost forgot about the date you had planned with rafe for that night—scrambling to get up and get ready.

that night, after a nice date and way too much ice cream, you realized you were too fucked out from your afternoon activity to go for another round for rafe. it was no big deal—except it happened the next day. then the day after that. and the one after that.

you had mastered the rafe-sized dildo, and you could take the entire thing after week of practice. but it also meant that it had been a full week without your boyfriend fucking you—something that hadn't happened since you had lost your virginity to him.

a little too clueless around rafe like always, you hadn't realized anything was wrong. rafe was on edge—pent up and unable to keep taking out his frustration on the golf course after almost breaking one of his clubs—but you didn't really notice.

you were waiting for tonight, after another date to show him your new-found skills, but of course, he didn't know that.

getting ready in your bathroom, blasting music and doing your makeup, you don't even hear the door open to your bedroom. rafe came to get you early, knowing you would need more time but way too antsy to wait alone in his car.

he sits on your bed, listening to the muffled music from behind the closed door. he's not impatient with you and hardly ever like this, but the current situation had left him more desperate to see you than usual.

leaning against your headboard, he feels something under your pillow. lifting it to move whatever it was—knowing you, the book you had been reading last night—his jaw clenches when he sees it. a dildo. not just any dildo—a huge dildo. under your pillow like you'd just been using it or something.

the pillow stays in his hand but he has an overwhelming urge to chuck it across the room. was this the reason the two of you hadn't had sex in a week? were you finding pleasure from some stupid toy instead of him?

"rafe?" you ask, stepping out of the bathroom and staring at the scene in front of you with big eyes. you're distractingly pretty everyday but even more so today with a short skirt and done-up face for the date he's not sure if he'll be taking you on.

your face burns with humiliation—stupidly realizing you hadn't put the damn thing away after last night. rafe is looking at you and then looking back at your bed, his fist tight around your pillow.

"um, i-"

"do you wanna explain? i'll give you five fuckin' seconds to explain-"

"no, it's not what it looks like-"

"really, kid? what it looks like is you're fuckin' this stupid thing instead of me. y'know, i'll just fuck off and you can have fun-"

rafe stands, not really angry but still sounding like he is. it's more pent-up frustration bubbling up, but you rush over to him anyways, looking so panicked he feels bad the second he said anything. he can't stay mad at you for longer than a minute.

"it's not what it looks like, i swear-"

"what is it then, huh?"

"i was just practicing! i was just trying to get better for you. see, it's yours." you motion to the toy still on the bed.

"huh?" rafe asks, looking between you and the bed.

"it's you. see. it's like... your size. um-" you get flustered again, shutting up in the fear that you've just said something to rafe that you should have kept to yourself. "i'm.. sorry?"

"no you're not."

"no, but i feel bad. are your feelings hurt? i'm sorry."

when rafe glances back at you, tearing his gaze away from the bright pink that's beginning to hurt his eyes, he realizes how sad you look, thinking you've done something to upset him.

"no, m'fine. just.. tell me next time. it was a jump scare."

"okay.." you stay still infront of him, awkwardly playing with your hands waiting for him to say something. you're a little concerned rafe's still upset, but he doesn't seem to look it, rather looking at you expectedly.

"what?" you question immediately, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"what? get on the bed. you've had enough practice. time for the real thing."

[envy-of-the-apple]

Watchmen

Yandere! Sung Jin-woo x reader

(Warnings: Yandere, Implied kidnapping, stalking, kinda stockholm syndrome, mc has given up on trying to escape)

After a while, you'd given up on trying to get him to talk.

At least, you think it's a him. You're not sure if monsters have genders, much less shadow monsters. He's big, however. Two long tusks prodding from either side of his mouth. Has to crouch whenever he's moving through the room Jin-woo trapped you in. You were scared shitless when he was first summoned to 'protect you'.

Now, you much prefer this monster compared to your captor.

You put down the book. You don't know how many times you've reread this, but you could probably recite it by heart. Books were the only source of entertainment you had here. Wherever here was.

You've given up trying to find those types of questions a while ago.

When you stare back at the shadow monster, he's staring right back.

"Do you know when he'll be back?"

You don't like saying his name, so you try not to say it as often. Fortunately, the shadow monster understands what you're trying to say. Unfortunately, he decides to immediately send your message over to his higher up. The shadow monster turns away, giving a low call that you recognize.

"No, no you don't have to-"

"Is there something you need, My Queen?"

You close your eyes, resisting the urge to pinch your brows. He's already bowing, deep and low to the ground. You would've preferred Igris, or Iron, maybe even Tank. Out of Jin-woo's guardsmen, Beru was your least favorite. All the soldiers were loyal to Jin-woo, but Beru's complete submission to your captor unnerved you.

But he's the only few that could talk, so you had to make due.

"It's nothing. Sorry, if I disturbed you. You're free to go." You wave him away. Beru's head lifts up, his antennae twitches.

"I was told that you had something of importance to discuss? Is that not the case?" Beru's head flicks over to your guard who now is starting to look a bit nervous. "It appears this one lied. Shall I cut off its fingers as a punishment-"

"No! No it's okay." You quickly interrupt, knowing all too well about Beru's bloodlust. "I was just wondering when he was getting back. That's all."

Beru straightens up, eager to be talking about his master. "My King has gone to a dungeon, but he won't have any issues with the raid." He preens. "He should be back by sunset."

Damn, these days, Jin-woo took less and less time to get back. You still don't understand how he's so strong, but you know your captor typically only enters Rank A dungeons or higher. It's partially why you gave up on ever escaping. Even if you got away from his army of shadow monsters, he'd still manage to find you.

"Okay, that's all I wanted to ask."

Beru tilts his head. "My Queen, were you asking because you were worried about the King?"

Another reason why you disliked Beru. He was always so insistent on your relationship with the so-called-King. You hold your tongue, however. You remember the last time you openly portrayed any emotion towards Jin-woo that was pure disdain. You've retained your fear, however.

Instead you hum, letting him think whatever he wanted. The insect flitters in pure delight before he darts away. He's probably going back to write a 12-page report about you blinking to his dear master. Knowing Jin-woo, he'd probably read it. Like soldier; like master.

Glad that Beru's gone, you give your original shadow guardsmen a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry about that." You apologize, knowing Beru isn't just terrifying to you. The shadow monster visibly relaxes. He smiles back, both tusks showing. It's a little cute.

You reach over, patting the guy on the head. He's huge, at least four heads taller than you but with the way he's crouching beside you, it's feasible. He seems to enjoy it too.

You smile. At least there was one monster here that you enjoyed the company of.

You clear your throat and you look at the book you tossed away.

"Want me to read it to you?" You ask. The monster beams, and you decide that it's too cute to be a monster.

You only looked away for a moment. When you looked back, your reading buddy was gone, and Jin-woo had taken it's place.

He didn't look like he'd gone through a dungeon. He never did. You'd suspect him of lying if you didn't know better. Not a hair was out of place.

"Where did you send him off to?" You ask, referring to the orc-shadow.

Jin-woo thinks for a moment.

"Somewhere in Portugal." He decides on. "Forgot the city."

You hum in thought. "How was the raid?"

You don't know why you always ask this. You don't know why he always answers.

"Good." He breathes, leaning into you. He smells the same as he did when he left. Fresh. You remembered the first few times he'd left you behind to go on a raid. He'd always come back smelling like ash and blood, and that only scared you even more. Nowadays, it appears he's cut back on his bloodlust. Or he took a shower before he came back.

You let him rest his head on your lap. It's the same routine you and him always had when he came back. You stroke his hair, combing through his soft locks. You look at his clothes, his shoes. Perfectly average. He had this obsession with wanting to look human.

Even when he clearly wasn't.

"Jin?" You call because he likes it when you say his name. He hums, eyes closed.

"Why doesn't every monster have a name?"

Your question doesn't upset him. That's good. Upsetting questions make his eyes flash, teeth bare. So does begs of being let go, pleads of going home.

"Only knights rank A and above gets names. Makes things easier." He answers. "It'd be a hassle to name all 10,000 of them."

The number doesn't even feel real, but you know he isn't lying. He never is.

One of his eyes open, he stares up at you.

"Why do you want to know?"

You swallow, but you shrug anyway. "I was just curious. So he doesn't have a name? The shadow monster you just switched with?"

"No." Jin-woo continues to watch you. "Would you like to give him one?"

You jolt at his sudden question.

"What?" He smiles in a way that nearly makes you forget that he's stolen you away from your life for months.

"A name," he says, "would you like to give him a name?"

You don't know what to say. To prompt your answer, Jin-woo snaps his fingers, and the familiar shadow-monster appears before you. Seeing Jin-woo, the monster immediately bows to his master.

"Is that okay?" You ask, quietly.

"It will be." Jin-woo concedes. "You should be more comfortable with the one guarding you, after all."

That's why he was doing this. Another way of placating you. Making you feel like you had control in this drama. Like you weren't just as trapped as his thousands of puppets he pulled on his strings.

"Gan," you say anyway, "I like 'Gan'."

You're not sure what happens. You aren't a hunter. You aren't a monster. But the shadow monster seems to be listening to something.

And then, Gan smiles. Wide and toothy.

Jin-woo dismisses him with a wave, rising up from your lap to stretch.

"Have you eaten?" He asks, probably already knowing the answer from Beru.

"I haven't." You shake your head.

He pats your shoulder.

"Go wash up then." He's about to leave again, when you muster up your courage and call out his name for the second time.

"The book." You start. "I was just wondering if I could have...more?" You're careful not to insinuate how bored you were, how miserable.

He watches you. Silent. You can't tell how he took it.

"That's the second request tonight." He notes, tilting his head. "That's new."

Right, he's never been one to give something away for free. You give, he takes. Keeping you in this dollhouse isn't enough for him.

Still, you steel yourself, keeping yourself from shaking. His aura envelopes you when you step forward, it makes your knees tremble. You lean up, and quickly give a peck on the corner of his mouth.

"Please?" You ask, an inch away from his skin.

His lips quirk.

The next day when you wake up, he's gone, and Gan is cheerily holding a pile of books.

[gay-dorito-dust]

@thelightofmylife wouldn’t it be funny if I decided to reread your entire HSR writing list again (I in fact did)… lolol <3 I’m still thinking about your response to me btw. You’re very kind 💖💞💗 truly I can’t get enough of your writing and I suppose kind words

No pressure to do this request if you don’t want to, you can also take this ask as an invitation to chat too

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

ahh! I was thinking ,,,, Sunday + Aventurine + Jing Yuan… and anyone else you would personally want to do …!! Giving them headpats because you love them soooo much!!! And receiving or asking for headpats in trade … <3 i think it’s a universal thing that headpats are <33 so good and lovely and good for showing love ;w;’ <3

Jing Yuan will gladly accept your head pats, he finds your beaming face adorable as you gently patted his head as though you were being extremely cautious with how you gave him head pats.

He recognises it as your primary display of love after awhile and would create a routine where he would just sit himself in front of you, claim that he was meditating, and closes his eyes and waits until he felt you begin to pat him on the head and mutter ‘soft floofy hair’ under your breath as he fights back the urge to smile.

You really do want his heart and he didn’t want to go back to a reality where he did not know the power of your comforting head pats.

Someone could’ve been looking for him about something serious and when they’ve enter the room, they are greeted to the sight of him him dozing off all the while getting treated to some well deserved head pats from you.

A bird popped out of his hair once during a headpat session and you were scared off of giving him head pats for a while in fear of having another tiny bird fly out from his hair. Jing Yuan was a sad man that day and would stop fucking pouting until Yanquing asked you to put him out of his misery and give Jing Yuan his head pats, he couldn’t train with a moody general who didn’t get his daily head pats.

Jing Yuan wasn’t afraid of giving out headpats of his own. He gave Yanquing a couple in the past but he used them sparingly. You however, you could have as many headpats as you’d like from him and Jing Yuan wouldn’t complain, especially not as he got the chance to watch you melt under his touch to the point you were practically cuddled into his side with a look of pure content written across your face.

So if he were to see that you weren’t having the best of days he’d immediately start giving you headpats in hopes of making you feel better. Jing Yuan’s logic was that seeing as how your headpats always helped make his day just that little bit brighter. Jing Yuan could only hope that he could pay it forward to you in a way that let you know that he would always have your back, always.

Aventurine leans into your hand as you give him head pats and closing his eyes as he enjoyed any amount of affection you decided to give him.

He needed this, he really did.

At first he was afraid of what the implication meant but now, he would practically sprawl himself across your lap and silently wait until you were done with what you were doing to give him some head pats, whining that you don’t pay enough attention to him.

He wasn’t use to such gentle, loving touch such as yours and now that he’s gotten a taste, he’s become addicted and would always find a way to get you to give him head pats no matter what. He would ask but Aventurine felt as though he was only worth them when he’s done something to earn such affection.

He viewed everything as a transaction and your headpats were no different.

Until you told him one day that he didn’t have to ever ask to receive love and affection, at least not with you and that you would gladly give him headpats just for waking up.

Aventurine cried that night in your arms as you gave him soft, comforting headpats.

Now aventurine demands headpats for practically everything but you didn’t mind as you were more than happy to spend hours on end if it meant spending time with your lover and reassuring him of your love for him. It heals apart of him that he didn’t know needed healing before, you heal him with your unwavering kindness and compassion and he didn’t know how the appropriate way to thank you, other then to give you some headpats himself.

Aventurine’s headpats were soft, gentle, Alamo as though he was scared he was going to hurt you but they were reassuring and encouraging at the same time that made you feel as though you could move mountains.

His headpats were like a silent ‘I love you’ for a singular reason.

He would pat your head three times and linger there for a couple of seconds then patting your head three more times before repeating this a couple more times, even going as far as to adding in a couple of kisses to your face in between. He loved hearing you laugh but he loved it when you shown signs of being comfortable, being safe with him as that was all he wants was to make you feel safe and happy with him because that’s how you made him feel on a daily basis.

Sunday finds your need to give him head pats amusing and will gladly let you do so to your hearts content if it brings you so much joy.

It doesn’t matter if he was busy because Sunday will always make room for you and you head pats no matter what, and will stress the importance to his staff that a specific time slot remains reserved for you and only you because your head pats were pure magic to the Halovian.

His wings would flutter softly and in time with your head pats that you couldn’t help but giggle at how cute the sight was as Sunday tries to get them to stop, but ultimately just accepts that his wings had a mind of their own when it came to you and how reciprocal they were to your touch.

He defiantly needs them after a hard days work and will most defiantly collapse on your lap, wings drooping like a pair of dog ears in tandem to express his exhaustion, and sigh as he felt you begin to softly pat his head.

‘You’ve done amazing today honey.’ You tell him.

‘Thank you my dearest but all I want to do now is relax with you if that’s quite alright with you.’ Sunday said tired and you couldn’t deny him when he was like this, and for the rest of the afternoon you spent cuddled up with Sunday and giving him head pats as his wings tried to match with the pace of your pats.

Sunday does reward you with headpats of your own but they may not come as frequently as you might like but you understood that he was a busy man, when you do get your headpats its mainly when you were on the brink of falling asleep, so often times it felt like a dream. Sunday wishes he could give you as many headpats as you’d like but giving you them while you were half asleep was for the best.

Bonus: when he’s cuddling you from behind, his wings will try and give you headpats but end up hitting the sides of your face, so somethings you’d wake up to a pair of soft grey wings softly smacking you first thing in the morning.

[jeonqbunny]

do it slowly

suguru geto x f!reader smut ♡

summary: your childhood friend suguru geto comes home for summer break after 2 long years of being away at college <3

content warning: soft dom!suguru x sub!f!reader, smut, porn w a plot, hair pulling, oral m!receiving, unprotected sex (he pulls out), uses of petnames (pretty girl, sweetheart, princess), biker suguru implied, quite a bit of fluff included.

word count: 6.1k (yappatron 6000 jesus christ </3)

today is my bday and i rlly hate this, but it took me so mf LONG to write.

about a year and a half have passed since you last saw suguru; the heat of the summer bringing back childhood memories of you two playing outside, be it in the trees around your house or running through the sprinklers in the lawn. you can’t help but sigh lightly, you miss him. he went out of state for college after graduation while you decided to stay back at home with your parents, it’s been lonely without him.

despite the air conditioner going full blast your forehead is still damp from the humid air of summer, reminding you of a fan you have on your desk that you could probably bring over to your bed. sitting up, you feel the immediately recognizable buzz of your phone on your thigh as you quickly snatch it up and see you have a text. it’s from satoru.

your prior mission of using the fan completely slipped your mind as you swiped the notification away rather quickly, readjusting yourself to lay down before opening it. your eyes narrowed at the message, your nerves immediately rising to the ceiling and beyond. “suguru is coming back for summer break?” you asked yourself out loud, chewing on the tip of your index finger as you reread the text over and over again. it was exciting, to say the least. seeing him again this soon was not something you exactly expected, but you weren’t complaining.

you read further to find out satoru was going to host a surprise “welcome home” party for him. this didn’t surprise you, though. satoru is suguru’s bestfriend, and ever since he left it’s just been you and him. the idea of all of you being back together again excited you, and you were curious to see how much suguru has grown. if he aged even half as well as satoru did, then he would be more than a little attractive.

you replied to satoru, informing him that you would be attending and helping him set up for it. after all, suguru was your beloved friend too. though you haven’t seen him since he left, unlike satoru who flew out quite often to see him with his daddy’s money. the last you heard, suguru had a girlfriend and was doing very well in his studies. 

you got ready to head over to satoru’s place to set up for suguru’s surprise party, picking up streamers and other corny party decorations on your way. you walked up to satoru’s front door, pretty much buried in all the decorations you bought as you struggled to hold yourself upwards. you let out an annoyed grunt at how long satoru took to open the door before you finally heard the door unlock and fling open. there he stood, his tall lanky figure resting against the door frame with an amused grin pulling at his lips.

“wow, you look like you’re really struggling there y/n.” he chuckled deeply, reaching forward and grabbing a couple boxes before stepping to the side to allow you space to enter his house. you let out a relieved huff when you set it all down on the table, finally being able to stand up straight. you glared at the snowy haired man, the urge to slap his cocky ass grin off of his face nearly consuming your entire being, but you decided on mercy.

“so what kind of party is this gonna be anyway? just a kick back with all of our friends or are you going to be extra like you always are?” you queried with a mocking tone, your gaze fixing up into satoru’s cerulean eyes through your eyelashes. 

satoru simply reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, a weak smile plastered on his glossy lips. “of course it’s going to be extra. you already know i wouldn’t have it any other way.” he snickered, his large hand coming up to his mouth in a mischievous manner. you couldn’t do anything but sigh and laugh along while shaking your head. the time passed quicker than you thought, the house slowly becoming decorated with balloons and streamers along with letters that spelled out “welcome home suguru” along the wall.

as the time draws near, you can’t help but chew the edges of your fingers a little raw in nervousness and anticipation to see suguru again. satoru catches this and smacks your hand away from your mouth, “you know suguru doesn’t like you doing that. stop it. go get a drink or something if you’re really that nervous…” he trails off with a look of ‘oh shit’ forming across his face, prompting a look of curiosity and confusion from you as you sneakily try to nibble a bit more on your pinky, eliciting another smack from him as a slight yelp fell from your lips.

“why’d you get all cold when you mentioned the drinks?” you ask, reeling slightly from the smack he laid on your hand. satoru sighs and ruffles his snowy shaggy hair in an exasperated fashion, “i forgot the damn drinks.” he grumbles lowly, his bright blue eyes shifting to the floor in disappointment. you stood there, absolutely dumbfounded by his utter stupidity.

“how the hell do you forget the drinks for a party?” you exclaim in a tone laced with annoyance and panic. “i don’t know! i just got lost in everything i guess.” he scraped the back of his neck in embarrassment for a moment before turning to you with a confident grin on his face. “look, can you go run out and buy a couple cases of beer or something?” he says, rustling around in his pocket before tossing his wallet at you. “nuh uh, no. i don’t wanna miss suguru’s arrival, someone else can go.”

“you and i are the only people who can drive here, plus what kind of host would i be if i were gone when he arrived? anyway, he won’t be here for like another thirty minutes. just don’t drag your ass and you’ll be fine.” he spits back in an irritated manner before you begrudgingly grab his wallet from where it landed beside you on the couch and head out to your car.

the drink run goes smooth enough, but then you hit traffic on your way back. shit. you are going to be late. the idea of being late because of satoru’s horrible planning only pissed you off even more. “how does that little idiot always convince me to do the work for him?” you sighed out loud, your hand reaching up to tug at your hair as the situation fully settled in. you tap at your steering wheel eagerly, your eyes rolling into your skull as you sit completely still in traffic. after a while of sitting and plotting satoru’s death, the cars finally started rolling. but by then it was already too late, the party had started well over fifteen minutes ago and suguru was most definitely already there.

you pulled up to satoru’s party, the street and driveway already significantly more filled than it was when you left. that’s when you saw it, a sleek black motorcycle sitting in the open garage. it caught your eye, and you were growing more curious to know who it belonged to as you wobbled your way to the door. you lugged the packs of alcohol up the small stairway leading to the front door, your arms struggling to reach the handle under the weight of the bags hanging off of them. 

finally, you managed to get the door open with a loud grunt and a deep breath following in your wake. you panted a bit, your chest heaving as you carried the heavy load of alcohol to the kitchen. you tossed them on the counter not so carefully, desperate to get the heavy weight off of your arms. you hissed, sucking in air through your teeth as you rubbed at your arms for a bit of comfort. 

you were busy soothing the ache in your arms when a familiar voice called your name from behind you. you immediately pivoted on your foot and spun yourself around to see a very tall suguru. you immediately pulled him in for a hug, holding onto him tightly as you rocked on your heels in excitement. he cackled under his breath, a dramatic ‘oof’ catching in his throat from your tight embrace. still, he returned the embrace just as tightly.

soon enough, you pulled away from the hug and shot him a look of amazement. his dark jett black hair now reached down past his mid back, and it was tied messily into a half up half down bun. it was quite the dramatic change in contrast to when you last saw him. his demeanor even felt the slightest bit different, and you couldn't quite place your finger on it. as you were lost in the view that was suguru geto, you felt your face heat up immediately as his lips formed a knowing smile. you knew you were caught checking him out, and you weren't exactly sure what to say in that very moment.

“you look good, y/n. i’m happy to see you again after so long, seems you’ve grown too.” he remarked breathlessly, his dark obsidian eyes grazing over your figure with the same amazement you looked at him with. you nodded to his statement, your eyes fluttering slightly as you offered him a polite smile.

“yeah, not as much as you though, clearly.” you muttered back, gesturing to his height with your arms in a teasing manner. he chuckled at your response, reaching forward to ruffle your hair with his hand. “why were you late? satoru said you were gettin’ drinks?” he quizzed gently, his voice low and smooth like honey and it was enough to make you feel like you were going to melt. you nodded your head in response, carping about how satoru forgot to buy drinks. he shook his head, tsking with a weak smile as his eyes remained fixed on you. “sounds like satoru, dude would lose his head if it wasn’t attached.” he quipped in a defeated tone, before your conversation was oh so rudely interrupted by satoru. “speak of the devil.” you muttered in annoyance, reluctantly pulling him in for a side hug as your gaze remained on suguru.

satoru chortled, his blue eyes rolling as he pulled you in a bit tighter, giving you one more extra affectionate squeeze before letting you out of his grasp. “i told ya to not drag your ass y/n, don’t be angry at me.” he shrugged, his face plastered with the mundane shit eating grin he normally wore. you simply crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, turning back to pour yourself a cup of liquor to ease your nerves as suguru and satoru chatted it up. 

you sipped slowly, your face turning in with disgust at the taste before nudging satoru on the shoulder. “i don’t want this, you have it.” you requested in a dramatically appalled voice, holding the red solo cup out for him to grab. satoru didn’t hesitate in the slightest, shrugging before throwing his head back and gulping it down with ease. the idea of doing it yourself making your stomach turn as you shivered at the thought.

suguru looked over satoru for a moment, but his gaze was primarily fixed on you. after nearly 2 years, you grew taller, your body grew to be womanly, and your voice even lowered a bit. it was quite a lot to take in, especially after not seeing you for what felt like so long. the house was buzzing with chatter and music, the smell of sweat and alcohol filling the air from all the people gathered around to celebrate suguru’s return. your eyes met suguru’s again, your breath hitched in your throat and the pounding in your chest made you a bit nervous. you weren’t entirely sure exactly why you felt the way you felt.

maybe it was the fact that you were seeing him again for the first time in two years. or maybe, it was just the way he looked now. it had you astonished, for lack of better words. not once within your ten years of friendship did you see him like that, but the way he looked at you with his nihilistic smile made that change in an instant. you were lost in thought before satoru nudged your arm, pointing at the crowd that was dancing; with an irritated looking suguru in his grasp. you nodded, waving them off to go have fun as you turned on your heels to exit out of the garage door. you drew in a deep breath, closing your eyes momentarily to gather your thoughts and calm your breathing.

that’s when you saw it again, a black motorcycle standing on it’s peg in front of your eyes. you stepped closer, observing it in curiosity of whose it could be to be sitting in satoru’s garage. you continued looking at it, checking for any signs of it being someone you know. and just as you were about to give up, suguru entered the dimly lit garage with a bashful smile gracing his lips.

“i see you found my bike, it’s nice huh?” he revealed that it was his bike, and it made your head spin in perplexity. just who was suguru now? “i- yeah actually it is nice. i didn’t know you rode one until now.” you admitted in a breathless mumble, your eyes darting between him and his bike. “your girlfriend into biker guys or what?” you puzzled playfully, fully unaware of what he was about to tell you.

“satoru didn’t tell you?” he laughed out loud, his large hands tucking into his pockets as he took a few steps closer to you and his bike. “we broke up, i found out she cheated on me a couple months ago.” he informed simply, his lips pursing into a thin line as he looked you up and down. well fuck, that’s awkward. you sighed in response, resting your hand on his shoulder briefly before letting your arm fall back down to your side.

“i’m sorry, satoru doesn’t tell me much about you these days so..” you looked up at him and smiled sheepishly, an apologetic look written all over your features. he shook his head, pulling his hand out of his pocket and wrapping his arm around your shoulder reassuringly. “no big deal at all, i know how satoru can be.” he replied shortly, a weak smile tugging on his lips as he looked down at you.

“i’m about to head out, you know i hate when satoru throws these over the top parties.” the idea of him taking off already made you feel a bit sad, but you weren’t going to stop him. especially because you were just as overwhelmed by them as he was. “you want a ride home, y/n?” his question made you jolt in shock.

“uh, n-no i’m fine, i drove here. thank you though.” you blubber out, still reeling from the shock of the question. “oh, alright then, no worries.” a definite look of disappointment crosses the otherwise stoic face, making you feel as if you need to back peddle. “but!” you shout almost a bit too loud from nerves as you try to salvage the situation, “we could always meet up at my house, just like the old times, huh?” a slightly unnerving smirk flashes across suguru’s face, making your heart beat all the faster, “sure, i’ll see you there.”

you wasted no more time in heading home, making it there quicker than you’d like to admit. you didn’t even think of saying goodbye to satoru as you pull into your driveway. your headlights shined on suguru who was sliding off his helmet in front of your car, his dark bangs falling into his face messily before he straightened them out. you swallowed thickly, enjoying the view

before pulling your keys out of the ignition and stepping into the warm night air. you let out a deep exhale, the sounds of crickets and your footsteps filling your ears.

you offered suguru a gentle smile, reaching forward to grab at his hand and drag him along with you to the front of your house. he chuckled from behind you, accepting your warm hand into his and enjoying the sense of nostalgia that you brought to him. you fumbled with your keys, doing your very best to unlock the door with your shaky hands. at once, you finally unlocked the door, pushing it open and stepping inside with suguru almost glued to your back.

your parents were gone on vacation for the summer, so the house was empty and looked quite desolate as you made your way up to the bedroom with him. when you reached your bedroom, your hand smacked the wall on the inside of the door and slid around in an attempt to find the light switch. the lights finally flickered on, causing you to squint from the sudden intrusion of light. suguru stepped into the room in front of you, looking around with a bright smile.

“i see your room hasn’t changed very much. it’s cute, i like it.” he murmured, the smile on his face evident in his voice as he spoke. you nodded along, turning on a lamp and shutting off the over powering ceiling light. “yeah, didn’t have much of a need or want to change anything.” you replied with a tint of blush dusting over your cheeks as suguru took a seat on the edge of your bed with his legs spread apart.

“really? even these dumb little things?” he quipped snarkily, grabbing one of your teddy bears in his hand and squeezing it. you let out a whine, as if to protest against him before snatching it from his hands and stroking it’s head with your finger. “i’ll have you know that mr. teddy is not some dumb thing.” you growled back, your finger still tracing its plushy fur as suguru chortled under his breath. 

“nothing about you has changed, y/n. you’re as feisty as ever.” he stated firmly, his dark eyes flickering into yours as he awaited your response. you let out a soft sigh, setting the teddy bear back down onto the mattress before taking a seat next to him on the edge of the bed. “yeah, kinda have to be to hold my ground around satoru when you’re gone.” you provoked teasingly, a toothy grin spreading across your face as you looked back at him. “i’ve missed you, sugu.” you added, this time sounding a bit more sentimental.

“yeah i’ve missed you too, sweet girl.” he hummed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder to pull you in and press a tender kiss to the top of your head. he closed his eyes for a moment, his chin now resting there as he inhaled the scent of your shampoo. he let out a soft exhale, the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears. “how long are you gonna stay? i assume just over the summer, yeah?” you quizzed as your eyes fluttered shut, your head still pressed firmly into his shoulder. 

“just for the summer.” he confirmed in a more somber tone now, his back eyes remaining closed as he pressed his lips on the back of your head once more. he pulled you fully into his lap, slotting you in comfortably in between his thighs with your back against his chest. he slid your hair to the side, revealing the back of your neck. he pressed another delicate kiss there, trying to gauge your reaction to it all.

your breath caught in your throat, your thighs pressing together in a desperate attempt to soothe the aching that was building up in between your legs. suguru took note of this, his arms now wrapping around your waist from behind. his lips moved from the back of your neck, his arm reaching up to hook his fingers around the collar of your shirt to reveal your shoulder. he peppered hot sloppy kisses to the sensitive skin, his tongue darting out every now and then to leave wet spots in his wake.

this elicited a small whine from you, your eyes slamming shut from the sensation as your body began to heat up and squirm in his lap. Your responsiveness mixed with your hips squirming against his groin caused his cock to stiffen against the fabric of his jeans, a low guttural groan falling from his mouth and sending vibrations into your shoulder. “s-sugu..” you whined, your head rolling to the side to give him better access.

“so you do want this, sweetheart?” he asked sweetly, his hands falling to your hips to hold you firmly in place as he moved to suck on the side of your neck. you had little to no way to form words at this point, however deciding to go with a simple nod wasn’t enough. “use your words, baby. i want to hear you say it.” he chuckled deeply into your skin, his lips grazing across the soft and sensitive surface teasingly.

you mewled in desperation, your hips bucking into his throbbing member that pressed against the small of your back. “i want it.. please.. need you sugu..” your voice was wobbly and laced with desperation. you were really exposing yourself at the moment, revealing that this is something you’ve been longing for for quite some time now.

he reached up with one of his hands to wrap your hair into a makeshift ponytail, tugging it around his knuckles harshly to force your head back as he sucked on your skin more feverishly now. “i thought so, you wouldn’t stop fucking me with those pretty eyes of yours all night.” he purred, his voice velvety and full of undying lust as he squeezed your hair in his hand even tighter. you cried out from the sting, your eyebrows knitting together at the painful sensation. your hand reached up to grip at his hand resting on your hip, squeezing it tightly in an attempt to ground yourself.

this caused him to laugh sadistically as he traced small affectionate patterns on the soft skin of your hand. his grip on your hair never faltered as he pulled you up by it and stood to his feet, gently forcing you to your knees in front of him. he muttered a small ‘sorry’ for the way your exposed knees smacked against the hardwood. you immediately know the drill, urgently reaching up to unbuckle his belt as you feel your wetness seep from your panties and onto the floor below. he tugged back your head by your hair firmly, clicking his tongue before he spoke. “slow, sweetheart. do it slowly, i wanna see how pretty you look when you swallow my cock. make sure you look at me while you do it, or i’ll make you stop.” he ordered sternly, his light and gentle voice strongly contradicting the harshness of his order, but you obeyed regardless.

you wanted nothing more than for him to just fill your mouth, so you happily obliged. you looked up into his dark hazy eyes, slowly unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans. with one small tug, his bulge was now visible through his wet and sticky boxers. you let out a needy moan, your eyelashes fluttering up at him as you pressed your tongue to the stain of precum at his tip, lapping and sucking at it through the fabric.

suguru sucked in air through his teeth, a moan coming out with his exhale as he looked down at you. his hand reached down to grip you by the chin and stroke your cheek with the rough pad of his thumb, a gentle smile resting on his lips. “not so feisty now are you? you’re such a naughty girl, didn’t know you had it in you to obey.” he teased, his abs rippling under his shirt as his body tensed up from the feeling of your pretty lips against the clothed tip of his cock. 

you let out a slightly annoyed groan at his statement, gently nibbling on the tip with your teeth to discourage him from teasing you like that. this caused him to tug at your hair roughly, ripping your mouth away from his throbbing cock. you shrieked at the sudden tug, your head reeling with pain before he spoke. “if you bite my dick like that again, i’m not gonna let you cum. and if i’m not mistaken– that’s definitely not what you want, is it pretty?” he grumbled, his voice a lot less gentle and a lot more hoarse. he dragged your head back to force your face into his cock once more, letting out a breathy giggle as his hips pushed forward to press his stiffened member to your cheek.

you definitely didn’t want to be denied the pleasure of cumming all over his cock, so you decided to comply this time around. you reached up and hooked your fingers around the waistband of his boxers, slowly dragging them down his muscular thighs as you looked up at him with an apologetic look in your eyes. he let out a soft hum of approval, his cock finally springing free from the tight fabric of his boxers.

the sight alone elicited a wanton moan to bubble up in your throat, his heavy and girthy member twitching in front of your face with precum dripping from the tip. you lapped at the tip of his cock, the salty taste of precum swirling around your taste buds. a normally unpleasant taste

became something you enjoyed, it sent a rush of arousal straight to your core. you savored it for a moment before wrapping your lips around the tip and swirling your tongue around it slowly. you allowed a full moan to come up your throat, sending vibrations down his shaft as your wet hot tongue slid over his slit. this alone caused his hips to rut forward further into your mouth, his hand that held your hair trembling slightly as he gasped.

the sudden rut of his hips caused you to gag, finally committing to taking him as far as you could down your throat. one of your hands gripped his toned thigh, digging your nails in as you tried to steady yourself, while the other reached up to cup his balls in your hand. suguru got needy enough to start thrusting into your mouth full force, pulling your head forward by the hair to match his pace. you gagged and whined around him, hot tears welling up in your eyes and streaming down your rosy cheeks as his heavy balls smacked into your chin.

"so good baby, your throat grips my cock so fucking nicely." moans of profanities and your name fell from his pretty lips, his voice growing to be more airy and hoarse. all the sudden he pulled his cock from your throat, letting out a loud groan from the loss of contact on his throbbing length.

you looked up at him as you coughed and tried to catch your breath, a long thick string of saliva connecting the tip of his cock to your lips. you sat on your knees for a moment, waiting for his next move as saliva and precum dripped down your chin and onto your chest. he was staring down at you, his thick veiny member coated in your saliva twitching right in front of your lips. "you look stunning when you struggle to breathe, angel. you look like such a cock hungry little girl." he wanted to enjoy this view for as long as he could, taking in the way your saliva soaked the white blouse you had on as your saliva dripped from your chin in a very lewd way.

he crouched down to your level, finally letting go of your hair, and it was immediately sore and achy from how tight he was holding it. but that thought quickly left your mind when he pulled you in for a delicate but heated kiss, his large hands cupping your dainty face as he began deepening it. his tongue slid across your bottom lip, tugging it in between his lips before plunging his tongue into your mouth. your tongues tangled together naturally, your lips melting into one another's as you moaned into suguru's mouth. the kiss was dirty, sure. but it held a feeling that felt like much more than just lust. 

with no warning he pulled you to your feet with ease, letting you rest against his chest momentarily to stabilize your wobbly legs before bending you over on the desk. your hands rested flat against the cold wood surface, shivering as he lifted up your skirt and grazed his fingers along the swell of your ass. “you’ve got such a nice ass princess.. don’t remember it looking this pretty last time i saw you.” he gritted his teeth, leaving a harsh smack on one of your

cheeks before tugging your panties off in one swift motion. you shrieked, the sting of his hand lingering on your ass caused your arousal to splatter down your thighs.

“already wet and all you’ve done is suck my cock a little.. that’s cute baby.” he hums, his large hand kneading on the flesh of your ass while the other one slides in between your folds, rubbing harsh circles on your clit and watching the way your body tenses up from his touch. his chest filled with pride, seeing you so fucked out for him already from just a couple brushes of his fingers.

he dipped two thick digits into your aching hole, holding still for a moment to really feel the way you fluttered around his fingers. you bucked your hips against his hand, desperate for him to give you even the slightest bit more. doing this caused his cock to throb painfully, hardly able to focus from his imagination of what it would be like to have your gummy walls wrapped around his cock. he took his fingers out slowly, a wet pop following before he licked them clean with an airy grunt. “i’ll have to taste you another time, i need to be inside you, now sweetheart.” he aired breathlessly, his hand gripped his thick cock and he moved forward to press the tip to your leaking entrance. 

he slid it up and down your slick folds, enjoying the lewd sound it made before pushing the tip inside of you. your body jolted forward as if to escape from the sudden but long awaited intrusion, a slight pain creeping into your cunt from the stretch of his dick nearly tearing you open. this causes suguru to yank your arms out from under you and pull you against his chest, shoving his cock all the way in. you yelped in pain, your pussy sucking him in desperately despite how much you were stretched as you began to moan and whine his name.

“it’s okay baby, just take it. i’m sorry for being so rough. but i mmhh– i need to fuck you.” he apologized briefly through broken moans before starting to thrust into you from behind. he held your arms behind your back tightly and shoved you face down onto the desk as his hips snapped into your ass. sounds of slapping, your mixed moans and the creaking of the desk underneath you filling the otherwise quiet room. he leaned down from behind you, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder before bullying into your cunt even further.

you squeal and squeeze your legs together as the tip of his cock pounded against your cervix repetitively, your mouth falling open and your eyes fluttering to the back of your skull. “s-sugu.. fuck meee oh my god–” you babbled on and on, you couldn’t even breathe, couldn’t even speak properly to tell him how much you loved him and the way he ruined you. his hand let go of one of your arms, reaching forward to grip the base of your throat and coax your head back before placing a kiss on the tip of your ear.

“i am fucking you, sweet girl.” he chastised with a chuckle, his other hand reaching down to slide under your shirt and raise it enough to roll your nipple in between his thumb and index finger. your body visibly shuddered from the pleasure, his hand leaving your throat to let your head fall back against the desk before reaching down to rub quick circles around your clit. immediately you felt your high creeping up on you, the pressure in your abdomen building and close to unraveling. 

suguru took note of the way you fluttered around his length, the way you gripped him causing him to clench his jaw. he didn’t want it to be over just yet, making quick work of flipping you onto your back against the the desk. he pushed your knees up to your shoulders, spreading your legs wide and admiring the sight of your dripping cunt before pushing back into you with ease.

he set the pace again, pressing his forehead to yours before capturing your lips into a deep kiss. it didn’t take long for you to get close again, the bottom of his navel rubbing into your clit with each deep thrust he took inside of you. you whimpered into his mouth, lapping at his tongue sloppily in desperation before he broke the kiss. “i’m close sugu.. so so close.. please–” she cried out as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in impossibly deeper than before. he groaned out, one of his hands reached forward to hold your face in it while his other took care of your sensitive bud.

his dark raven bangs clung to his forehead as a bead of sweat dripped down his temple. “i’m close too baby, it’s okay. you can cum.” he reassured gently, stroking her hot cheeks with his thumb affectionately. as he chased his high, he felt his muscles tense up, feeling you lock up underneath him made his hips move more feverishly, determined to pull your orgasm out of you harder.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, gripping onto his back and sinking your nails into his sweaty tanned skin. you panted, finally mustering up the courage to say what you’ve wanted to for so long. ‘i love you suguru, i love you s– so much..” and just like that, you came undone as a white heat rushed through your body. your back arched off the desk, your eyes slammed shut and your mouth fell slack as your insides pulsated around him. your clear sticky cum formed a ring around the base of his cock, coating his pelvic bone and his balls as he thrusted into you.

your confession certainly caught him by surprise, but he accepted it wholeheartedly as it threw him into an orgasm of his own. “i love you too, y/n. fuck– always have, my pretty girl.” he huffed out, his hand drifting from the skin of your cheek and down to your throat to squeeze it tightly. he pulled out and pumped his swollen length a couple of times before cumming all over your tummy.

he fucked his own hand a bit more as he rode out his high, a couple more thin ropes of his hot white seed following behind. a guttural moan jumping up his throat as his eyebrows knitted together. fuck, he looked so pretty. 

he leaned in and moved your hair out of your face before pressing a delicate kiss to your temple. the back of his index finger ghosting down the edge of your jawline before he pulled away to look for something to clean the both of you up. he wiped away the mess, a gentle and almost unreadable expression gracing over his handsome face as he focused on taking care of you. 

he straightened out your skirt, his large veiny hands that were decorated with black nail polish sliding along your hips as if to worship the view a bit more before picking you up and laying you down on the bed. he caged you in underneath him, taking a good look at your face before kissing the tip of your nose.

“so you love me huh? maybe i’ll just have to stay here.” his expression softened, and a smile grew on his lips to reveal his pearly whites. the sight of his smile made your heart swell, it wasn’t the kind of smile you saw very often, but when you did it could like up an entire room. “i suppose i do, sugu.” you teased back, pressing a kiss to his lips gently before you both laid down together on your twin sized mattress.

[rainba]

This is very random– BUT I wanted to talk a little bit more about Luka and his obsession with his darling. ((I'll be posting the Luka kidnapping Kairos and darling fic next. :3c But I wanted to get this out first.))

In most posts, it always sounds like he’s uncaring about his darling– being mean all the time– and only likes the thrill of chasing them. But…

Deep down, he truly is madly in love with his darling. He’s just… Horrible at expressing it sometimes.

tags/TWs: light mentions of stalking, yandere, slightly creepy/obsessive behaviors.

reader is GN

Luka isn’t used to feeling such strong emotions. Throughout most of his life, nothing has really made him feel much of anything. Getting perfect grades? Whatever. Going out on dates? He just did it because he could, not because he had any real interest in people. Winning a competition or getting into fights? A little exciting, sure, but the feeling fades pretty fast.

But when it comes to you..? He feels something indescribable. And it’s intense.

At first, he doesn’t really understand it. Why is his heart tightening in his chest? Why does his face feel so warm? Why is it hard to look you in the eyes? Why are you constantly on his mind?? He’ll never express these things to you, he’s amazing at hiding it, but his feelings for you are making him go crazy.

In the beginning, he’ll start stalking your social media without realizing it. Every time he’s at work and has a moment to spare, his hands will instinctively pull out his phone and open your profile. He checks to see if you've posted anything– and if you haven’t, he’ll settle for rereading your conversations, if you’ve ever had any with him. Honestly, it’s embarrassing, but he just can’t stop himself. It’s addicting. His heart skips a beat when he sees that you’ve shared something.

…Again, highly embarrassing for him.

Then the next stage rolls in: he gets your pictures printed and frames them in his house and on his work desk. Seeing your face always calms him down and makes him feel warm inside. The more stressful days at work now hardly affect him, all thanks to you… And now he doesn’t feel so disheartened when he returns to his empty home.

Then the third stage rolls around: he needs to see you multiple times a week. It’s similar to the way he checks his phone; he doesn’t realize it as his legs instinctually start to carry him wherever he thinks he may find you. He needs to know if you’re safe– needs to know that you’re happy and nothing bad is going on… Those are his excuses, anyway. He’s not exactly sure why he loves watching and following you, but he just does. He also does genuinely love the idea of being your protector, though.

Possessing you, protecting you, spoiling and loving you each and every day… He wants to do it all. Just for you.

But deep down, Luka’s constantly fighting himself. He has to learn to control his urges and manage his emotions… After all, since he’s never experienced such intense feelings before, he’s never learned how to cope with them. Seeing you being around other men makes his blood boil; he’s had to research ways to cope with his rage. Now he just listens to music and goes on runs, trying his hardest to not seek revenge on the innocent people you talk to.

Luka has never yearned for something so badly before. When he goes to bed at night, he finds himself longing to have you in his arms… It becomes almost impossible to sleep. 

How cute it would be to see you wearing his clothes to bed… How nice it would be to see you crawl next to him and give him a kiss goodnight as he wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him. How nice it would be to feel the rise and falling of your chest as he thinks about just how lucky he is to have you.

And Luka thinks to himself: “...Is this what it means to be in love?”

Deep down, he didn’t really think he’d ever feel it– he almost thought love was just a myth. When people told him that love is a wonderful feeling unlike any other, he thought they were lying. Now he doesn’t want to let you go… He can’t, he just can’t. He doesn’t think he could feel this way about anyone (or anything) ever again.

Once Luka has finally realized that he needs you more than anything, he’ll stop being ashamed of his actions. He will have already been a little bit close to you– he talks to you sometimes, but he’s remained somewhat distant up until now. He can’t keep the gap between you any longer.

Luka will do whatever it takes to get you the “natural way” first. In order to start things up, he’ll create a bunch of fake chance-encounters. Like, oh… You’re here ordering some food, too? How crazy! You’re also on your way to shop for some clothes? Wow, that’s also crazy, because he was just about to go out and buy himself a new leather jacket. So… You don’t mind if he tags along, right? (He tries his hardest to be nonchalant about it. Doesn’t want to look like he’s trying too hard..)

After that, he’ll start to ask you out on dates, buy you anything you’d like, ask you about your interests and let you ramble on about anything you like… He already knows all your interests, but he just likes the way your eyes light up as you talk about them. (Also, Luka sort of just adopts your interests too, as he doesn’t really have too many of his own.)

When Luka first tries to court you, he’ll be an extreme gentleman. He always pays all the restaurant bills, holds doors open for you and drives you everywhere. Although, to be honest, he does this even after the beginning stages… He just likes to spoil his darling in general.

In the end, he wants you to basically be his ”mate for life.” He wants you to be his one and only, the most important and special person in his entire life. You’ve shown him what it’s like to feel love, and now he yearns to know what it’s like to be loved in return. Luka won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

[acotarxreader]

Say My Name

Azriel x Reader

Synopsis: After being separated from his brothers by the High Lord of Night, Azriel becomes accustomed to the new chain of command in his life, lead by you. But with the Mortal Realm war beginning to rage, will your relationship move beyond professional

Warnings: Angst.

A/N: Man, writing this made me so unsure of the timeline of the world before Feyre and the girliepops entered, I just used this one to aid the fleshing out of this story. There is a part two that I have half written but maybe you guys would prefer this as the stand alone it is now? Let me know! Also gawk in my part of the world means to get sick (fellow Irish friends can probably tell what part of the country I'm in by that lol) and I kept rereading the line I wrote and laughing.

P.S adularescence is the shimmer from moonstone hehe I love her

*********************************************************

Azriel lay staring up at the decadent ceiling of his new room in the House of Wind. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the intricate detailing in almost two hours, doing what he could to dissociate from his feelings having just been separated from the only family he ever knew. The clock ticking deafened him, soon it would be morning and he would begin work as the High Lord of Night’s personal Spymaster. He couldn’t stop his mind racing but forced his eyes closed, he would be no used to his brother's sleep-deprived. It felt as though the moment his eyes shut, the sun rose and his personal valet entered the room with his clean uniform. 

“Morning Sir” the clear sharp voice sent Azriel out of his bed and onto his feet as the staff member whipped the curtains open after placing the uniform over the chaise. 

“Sir is not necessary” 

“Yes Sir” Azriel decided to not push back further, only moving to dress himself quickly behind his folding screen as the valet left him alone again. Azriel took a deep breath, clearing his lungs out entirely while running his hands through his hair.

“Spymaster, you are required in the drawing room”

“One moment” Azriel fought the urge to sigh before following the voice into the hallway and eventually to the drawing room of the House of Wind. 

The long table reached nearly the length and breadth of the opulent room, a far cry from Windhaven. Azriel took in the faces of the High Lord's staff as they busied themselves around the room, servicing the various members of the Inner Circle of Rhysand’s father.

He took an empty seat closest to the door, the chaos of the makeshift war room giving him some sense of normalcy. He surveyed his hands on his lap whilst reminding himself to breathe until he felt the heat of a stare bore into the side of his head. He lifted his gaze to the direction of the inspection to find your moonstone-coloured eyes scanning him, the only female in the room with a seat at the table. You looked away as if bored by the prospect of him catching your eyeline, landing them back on the High Lord’s empty chair. 

You took a long, almost laboured breath out before standing, the chaotic room entirely stilling at the action, Azriel filed this reaction away immediately. You couldn’t have been much older than him if at all and yet you commanded this room better than any other he’d seen before.

“Well, now that we’ve all arrived-” more eyes fell sympathetically on Azriel, he hadn’t realised he was late “-Ah, keen eyes have found a new member of us, perhaps you are not all so useless after all-” a slight laugh left the group at your dry tone “-Azil is joining us from-”

“-Azriel” he corrected you, every head turning in his direction now, a lump growing in his throat at the feeling, his shadows curling around his ankles in an attempt to comfort. 

“Huh, cute-” you scoffed out “-Spymaster, interrupt me again and no one will have a need to remember your name” Ice nearly leached from your speech, Azriel was making a great first impression with his new command.

“-Right, Azriel, will be the new Spymaster for the High Lord, like the rest of you he will report to me and Azil-”

“-Azriel, intel must need help if you don’t even know my name” he mentally cursed himself for cutting across you again, especially when he noticed the room's eyes fixating forward on the table and not on him.

“Anyways, smartass Spymasters aside, we all have our assignments for next week’s gathering in Hewn City, and arrangements have been made for travel. This is purely a diplomatic function, to help strengthen Winter Court relations, you know where I am if you have questions, which isn’t an invitation to have questions” You spoke with such commanding energy, the room hanging on every word before you gave a half nod and made an exit, trailed by two other members of the council. The room sprang back into chaos and revelry in your absence. 

“She is not to be feared just because of her position” he retorted, moving to stand only to halt at the laugh from the Fae adjacent to him..

“Are you fucking insane Spymaster? I guess they don’t teach common sense at Windhaven-”

“-Illyrians can’t be taught what isn’t natural to them” Azriel’s eyes cut into the Court member who made the throw-away comment before looking back to the High Fae who first addressed him. Benson was as close to your second in command as you could have, he was fiercely loyal and even more so unpredictable. Rhysand had mentioned him before to Azriel, that he had been one of his Father’s most beloved assassins and where possible was to be avoided, great job so far Azriel thought to himself.

“YN is to be respected Spymaster” Benson bit out. YN, had Rhysand ever mentioned that name he thought? Azriel furrowed his brow, deciding he had given into enough of their squabbling, choosing to leave the room. He missed his brothers. 

“Oh she loves to break the clever ones”

“He can’t be that clever if he challenges her” Benson smirked.

“Well she can’t be that much of a challenge if a simple correction throws her off” Azriel shot back at the third High Fae to join the gang up. 

********************************************

For the next week, Azriel familiarised himself with the House of Wind and its quirky residents. He searched for you in the meetings he attended but never found you, he was beginning to think you were a sleep-deprived dream until your silhouette caught his eye during his training exercise outside. He watched you walk the length of the boundary balcony of the House of Wind, deep within your thoughts as he found his legs bringing him closer to you, eyes fixated on the back of your head. 

“Take a mental image, Spymaster, it’ll last longer” You sighed at him before turning around. You shone to him in the light of the Summer sun, positively glowing as though you were made of the light itself. You rolled your eyes at his gawking before turning back again, Azriel only then realising he had been staring. 

“I suppose your silence means the others have warned you, shame you were interesting for half a second there” You almost laughed the words out, surveying Velaris below as Azriel moved to your side and took in the view of Rhysands beloved city.

“I’m sorry about inter-”

“Don’t apologise, Spymaster, just don’t do it again” You glanced at his beautiful face for only a moment before pulling your eyes back again. Azriel left the somewhat easing air still for a moment before speaking again. 

“You can call me by my name”

“I’d rather not gain that level of familiarity with your Spymaster” You clicked your tongue off your teeth.

“You don’t seem much older than I am” he was feeling bold, his loneliness in the Court of much older members starting to weigh on him. 

“I didn’t know the High Lord had high-ranking females in his Court”

“It’s just me, the other applicants for my job were found to be unfit by the time of application” You gave a somewhat dark laugh that Azriel found himself smiling at. 

“Good because I’m not” You laughed fully this time, stealing another glance at the Illyrian, Azriel wishing secretly to keep your iridescent eyes on him for the rest of his days. 

“Rhysand hadn’t mentioned you” You broke the look at the mention of the High Lord's son, not going unnoticed by Azriel.

“That does not concern you Spymaster, nor should it so that perhaps is best left there” 

“YN, they’re ready!” Benson called from the steps of the House and you gave a little sigh at the interruption.

“Your keeper is calling YN” Azriel smiled and you scoffed lightly before turning in the direction of the steps. 

“Make yourself useful tonight Spymaster, diplomatic gathering or not, there’s always war games going on” Azriel found it difficult to tear his eyes from you as you joined Benson’s side and dipped back into the shadows.

***************************************************

The Hewn City gathering was colossal, Fae from both Night and Winter danced and drank and rejoiced in the music of the live band, the two High Lords watching on with amusement and suspicion of one another. Azriel stole Mor away the second he landed his eyes on her, desperate for some ounce of familiarity. The two reconnected and recounted the time they had been apart, enjoying one another's company against the backdrop of the Court of Nightmares. 

Azriel excused himself for a moment from his friend, moving across the vast dance floor to retrieve a drink. A hand suddenly went around his mouth from behind as he reached the edge of the ballroom floor. He felt his body be hauled backwards, almost too stunned at the boldness to fight back. You let go of Azriel once you reached the service hallway of the ballroom before you pushed him back into a tiny disused service closet. 

“What the fuck?!” Azriel evened his breathing out in the dark small space, pushing away the deeply repressed memories, your presence having a soothing effect on him he didn’t care to acknowledge.

“What information had Morrigan?” you bit out through the dim light, Azriel’s eyes adjusting as yours seemingly glowed.

“None to concern yourself with YN” Azriel rolled his shoulders, fighting to pull back some ounce of the composure he lost with being so close to you in the enclosed space. 

“Everything with her concerns me” Your serious tone gave Azriel pause, as you glanced out the hall to check if you had been followed. 

“We were discussing how much we miss Rhysand and Cassian” Your head shot back to him with the sound of their names, reclosing the door as you went, sealing back in the darkness. Azriel shuffled slightly at the return of the sealed door, trying his best to not show his rising discomfort.

“What’s wrong Spymaster?”

“I-I I don’t like enclosed spaces” he admitted, forcing the maroon in his cheeks away before it could rise. He waited for the ridicule that normally followed from that admission but it never came. You seemed to look at him knowingly before pushing the door open slightly so it was ajar, a small stream of light leaking in. 

“Why hasn’t he mentioned you?” 

“There, no big deal”

“That’s what Rhys says about it too” You scoffed at his words

“Not here” you warned but that wasn’t a complete shutdown of the conversation so Azriel felt somewhat hopeful he’d get to continue to unravel your mystery. You shuffled slightly under Azriel’s gentle intrigued gaze. 

“You’re the one who hauled me in here, can I go? Or are you avoiding your handler?” 

“Stop staring at me”

“It’s hard not to”

“Well figure it out” Neither of you could look away from one another.

“No one can handle me” you half scoffed.

“Bet I could give it a shot” You raised an eyebrow at him before stepping even closer to his challenging tone, your chests and toes now touching.

“Not afraid of me Azriel?” You whispered so softly Azriel for a brief moment thought he misheard but the sound of his name on your tongue would never be something he’d mistake. 

“Petrified” He moved a rogue strand of hair from your face, doing his best to not touch his scarred hand off your delicate skin. 

“Good” You leaned in further, as you caught hold of Azriel’s hand, his feelings towards his biggest insecurity melting away. He felt his heart race as he leaned into the space between you both until your head fully pulled back from his reach and you released his hand. 

“Something is wrong” Your head snapped to the door, raising a finger up a few inches from Azriel’s face to prevent him from questioning you. 

“Fuck” You whispered, leaning down to your boot and withdrawing a sharp dagger. 

“Take this and don’t get fucking killed, bail out before you let that happen to you Spymaster” You didn’t give Azriel a chance to be offended before you flung the door open and began to run down the hall, retrieving another blade from our thigh, Azriel hot on your heels. 

The two of you burst into a scene of total and utter chaos, members of both Courts screamed and tried to escape the onslaught of individuals sheathed in black. You sprang into action, catching hold of two not so stealthy characters, and taking them out with one swish of your blade. Azriel dashed towards the Lady of the Night Court, the superhero of his childhood, his turn to defend her. Azriel was almost in arms reach of her before he was sent sailing to the floor by the heavy body of one of the assailants. Before he could react, he felt their warm blood hit the side of his face, looking to find Benson holding the Fae's head in his hand. Rhysand’s mother reached for Azriel as he shot back up to his feet, taking hold of her arm and winnowing her away from the sheer pandemonium. 

**********************************************

Hours later Azriel stayed pacing up and down the hallway in front of your office, waiting for your return. The sound of your strained voice saying goodbye to Benson filled the hallway before you strode down it alone, hair dishevelled and covered in a layer of crimson not belonging to you. 

“YN” Azriel tried not to startle you as he stood out from the shadows, only gaining a slight reaction from your exhausted state.

“What do you want Spymaster?” You half sighed out, reaching to unlock the door of your office, your muscles straining.

“You can say that all you like YN but I don’t believe you”

“I just wanted to see if you're alright?”

“There’s no need to, of course I am, part of the day job” you grunted, the door finally giving in under your weight. You threw down the dirty weapons onto the chaise before rolling your neck and sinking into your chair behind the giant oak desk as Azriel almost sheepishly followed you in. He watched you lift a heavy hand to the side of your neck, just catching a glimpse of a fresh gash before you hid it with the collar of your shirt. Had that been your punishment for not knowing the attack was going to occur Azriel thought. You tossed your legs onto the desk as Azriel closed the door behind him.

“What did I say about interrupting me?” Your legs found the ground again as you leaned into the desk, attempting to cut Azriel with your eyes.

“I’m really not yours to worry about Spymas-”

“-Azriel, my name is Azriel” It came out of him more clipped than intended but Azriel would not become nameless in this Court.

“You can interrupt me but I can’t interrupt you, how is that fair?!”

“News flash Spymaster, nothing in this Court is fair. I will not tolerate being disrespected by a male of lower rank than me” You stood, closing the distance between you, your sharp tone matching his. Azriel’s hand shot for your collar and for a split second you thought he was going to hit you and you’d be responsible for another death that day but no, it instead tugged down the collar of your leathers revealing a fresh weeping gash. You gulped slightly at the motion but didn’t pull back from his touch, if anything you found yourself leaning into him.

“Did the High Lord do that to you because of today?” His eyes bore into the marking occupying his bone-chilling tone.

“Yes” you said faintly, his hazel eyes landing on yours as their adularescence flickered. 

“I should kill him where he stands” he moved so painfully slowly, his lips ever so tenderly met the top of the gash before he calmly pulled back, dropping his hand and moving towards the door, stopping in front of it as you spoke again.

“Are you threatening my High Lord in front of me, Azriel?” You tried to stop your voice from shaking as your eyes were fixated on his back.

“YN, I believe you’re the first person since my brothers that I would tear the world apart for” he breathed without returning to you again and passing through the doorway.

*****************************************************************

Whatcha think? A second part required or is the open ending fun? Hehe Let me know what you think friends!

[themoonking]

breaking / preventing bad booktok habits

no one asked my opinion, but i've been thinking about this a lot so i'm going to give it anyway.

consumerism on booktube is a tale as old as time, and it's just as bad if not worse on booktok (due to the norm on tikok being to post something new at least once a day), and that leads a lot of book influencers (both on youtube and tiktok, and even instagram to an extent) into some really bad spending and consumption habits

this is my very long opinion piece on some tips and changes to make if you've already developed these bad habits or feel like you're about to.

tldr: stop buying in to hype and by more mindful about what you buy, and REMEMBER THAT LIBRARIES EXIST.

go to the library

quite simple. allows you to read as many books as you want without spending money or cluttering your home. and if you argue back that your local library is small / doesn't have a large selection, that's all the more reason to support it!! it won't grow or improve if it doesn't have people behind it.

getting rid of books

don't feel like you have to get rid of books even if you enjoyed them. i myself have larger book collection than most people i know. but you do have to make peace with the idea of getting rid of books from time to time. stop treating it like the worst thing that ever happened to you.

next time your bookshelf is full, don't immediately jump to buying a new shelf. instead, go through your entire collection and see what you really want to keep. do the marie kondo thing and take everything off the shelf so you can go through each book one by one. go over it multiple times over a couple of days, so you can come at it with fresh eyes.

when you look at each individual book, really think about it. ask yourself: did i even like this book? if i did, will i ever reread it? was it important to me or was it just a book i enjoyed and will never think about again? if i can't remember my feelings on a book, am i willing to reread it to find out?

if you have books that you were neutral on, that you liked but not in any notable way, or that you straight up didn't enjoy, it might be time to move on from them. donate to your local library: if you didn't enjoy them, there might be someone out there who might, and if you did enjoy them, they're right there if you ever have the urge to read them again.

don't think about book purges as tearing apart your perfect collection, but instead think about it as making room for something new that you enjoy and appreciate a lot more.

if you've gone over your collection multiple times and you still have no room, then feel free to buy a new shelf and expand your collection. obviously, as you read more books you'll find more that meant a lot to you that you want to keep. again, it's not about mimimalism, it's about mindfulness.

unread books

some book influencers (and their fans) have a MASSIVE problem with unread books. as in, they have 100+ on their shelves and they keep buying more to add to the pile. if you have books in your collection that have remained unread for years... it might be time to get rid of some of them. sorry.

do the same thing with the unread books as you did with the read books: go over them one by one and really think about why you're keeping them.

how long have you had it? if you've had a book for 5+ years, and you haven't felt the urge to read it yet, do you really think you're ever going to? read the description: does it seem like something that actually interests you, or did you buy it on a whim? perhaps it interested you when you bought it, but time has passed and tastes change; does it interest you now?

if you haven't touched or even thought about a book in multiple years but you can't bring yourself to get rid of it because "well maybe someday i'll need it!!" consider how dangerously close to hoarder mentality you're getting.

if you're really convinced that you'll enjoy a certain book, set it aside. make the books you set aside your priority for the next 6 months / the next year and don't buy anymore in that timeframe. if by the end of that time you haven't read the books you set aside, it's time to accept that you are simply never going to read them, and its better that they get some use rather than collect dust.

once again: donate any you get rid of to the library. if you're worried that you're going to suddenly want to read them (even though you haven't for years) and won't have them anymore, remember that if you give them to library they will be right there for you to borrow whenever you like. except that, in the time between you donating them and reading them, they won't have simply been sitting on your shelf gathering dust. instead, other people will have gotten the chance to read them and perhaps enjoyed them more than you ever would.

buying books

quite simply, just be more mindful about the books you buy.

when a new book becomes trendy on booktok or booktube, don't buy it right away. a lot of book influencers' unread books tend to be ones that they bought because they were really popular online, but that they lost interest in when the trend died out. if you're worried about missing out, remember that the book will still be available when the trend dies, and if you're only interested in something so you can partake in the trend... you're not really interesting in the book. you're interested in the clout.

when a book trend catches your eye, takes some time to think about it instead. first of all, does the book actually seem like something you're interested in? yes, everyone on booktok is talking about this new historical romance, but do you even like historical romance? this new epic fantasy is filling your youtube recommendations, but do you even like epic fantasy? look at reviews. look at reviews from people you know have similar tastes to you. did they like it? were the things they liked about it things that you enjoy?

if after thinking it through you're still engaged, go ahead and buy it! once again, its not about mimimalism. it's not about having less books. it's about mindfulness.

if you're subscribed to a book subscription box (or, god forbid, multiple book subscription boxes) maybe take stock and see if you actually want to remain subscribed. in the past 12 months, how many books from them have you read, and how many have you actually enjoyed? in my opinion, unless you've read an enjoyed the majority of books you've recieved in the past year, it might be time to unsubscribe. also always know that if a particular month's selection really interests you, you can simply buy the non-subscription version of the book without paying for all the ones that don't interest you.

like many book lovers, i enjoy wandering aimlessly around the bookstore even if i don't get anything, but if impulse buying books is an issue for you don't go to bookstores for fun. stay away from book-specific online stores. if you're spending issue is really bad, it might be time to block book-related social media tags (aka abandon booktok).

if you have an issue with your unread books getting out of control, set aside a physical space for your physical to-be-read and always ensure that your unread books can fit inside that space. if it starts to overflow, thats your sign that you need to ban yourself from buying books and focus on the books you already have (and then actually stick to that!!).

i personally have a three-tiered utility cart that i use (they're really common, you can find them a lot of places, but mine is specifically from ikea). it has a little wooden table lid that goes on the top tier that prevents me from storing anything in that layer. my unread books go in the bottom two tiers. if they get to the point that, to store them all, i have to remove the lid and start putting them on the top tier, i know that i need to slow down in my book buying and stay away from the book store. if, after that, it gets to the point where the entire top tier is full, then i know that it's time for a full book-buying ban until they're all read.

other methods i've seen people use: keep a separate, much smaller bookshelf in another part of the house. keep them in stacks but use a ruler to measure how tall the stacks get, and go on a ban if they get above a certain height. limit unread books to how many can comfortably fit on the bedside table. etc.

in general, it's best to NOT store unread books on the shelf with your other books. if they're on your shelf next to all your read books, you may not really be able to comprehend how many unread books you have, which can lead to the number getting out of hand.

and if you're buying books less for the pleasure of reading them and more for the pleasure of buying them (aka you genuinely not as a joke say "buying books and reading books are two different hobbies")... babygirl you have a shopping addiction </3

special editions

a lot of book influencers have a lot of special editions of books, but rarely have they read all of them. a lot of people really like collecting special editions, which is why my advice to unsubscribe from book boxes might, perhaps, be difficult.

however, many people who own a lot of these special editions don't really care about what's inside the book. rather, they care about the clout that comes with having a lot of special editions. even if they aren't an influencer, if you consume a lot of book content, you might get a feeling of superiority knowing that you have this type of collection that your favorite creators have.

essentially, when you go through your special editions, treat them the same as your other books from earlier but also ask yourself:

(1) is there anything actually special about this special edition? some special editions have exclusive bonus content such as cut chapters, interviews with the author, special art on the inside, et cetera; is this one of those or is it just the trade version with a recolored cover?

(2) if i have multiple different special editions of the same book, is there anything to actually distinguish them? do they have different exclusive bonus conent? different exclusive covers made by different talented artists? or are they essentially the same, except this cover is a slightly different shade of red, and this one has gold foiling in a slightly different spot?

(3) assuming i've read it, did this book actually mean something to me? do i care enough about this book to want a special copy of it? if i thought it was just okay, or even disliked it, wouldn't it be better off in the hands of someone who has it down as one of their favorite books of all time?

if you're going over your book box subscriptions and you say that you wouldn't be interesting in reading a certain book if you don't get your hands on the special edition, remeber that your experience of reading will be exactly the same if you have the exclusive special edition hardback or the standard trade paperback. it's like the tiktok trend; if you're only interested in this book if you have a special edition, you're not really interested in the book. you're interested in the clout.

essentially, the base thing you have to consider is: do you want this rare, expensive copy because the book actually means something to you, or because you want the online social status that comes from having a rare, expensive copy?

conclusion

once again, the main point is: be more mindful about the books you buy.

actually think about if you're interested in reading something instead of buying books you'll never read on a whim. think about whether your buying something for yourself or for clout.

and remember that libraries exist!! donate books to your library, donate funds to your library, borrow books from your library, etc. if you like audiobooks or ebooks, download whatever app your library uses. if your library doesn't have a book that you'd like to read, put in a request and they might purchase. participate in your library's events and activities. get involved in your library. show your local library the love it deserves!!!

bye. if you have another tip about breaking or preventing bad book habits, feel free to reblog w/ your tip.

[badlywritten-stuff2]

Unwarranted, pt. 3 – Noa x Reader

Sorry for taking almost an entire month to drop part 3 :,,,[, but here it is! I was really struggling to figure out where I wanted to go with this because I had a few ideas that I wasn’t entirely sure how to execute, and some life stuff came up [including but not limited to me locking in for the mid/end of my semester]. However, I think I’ve got this figured out now. Prob will take a slight pause in how frequently I’m posting but only until like next Wednesday bc I have an exam that day that I have to do good on or I’m cooked.

Like a couple of my other fics, the pov does bounce between you and Noa a few times, but I’ve tried my to try and make it obvious when it switches between you. It might be a little convoluted at the end, I’ve reread it like several times and I think it makes sense but that might be because I’m biased as the writer.

That being said, thank you and I hope you enjoy reading!!

RELATIONSHIP: Noa x nomad!reader

MEDIA: Planet of the Apes, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

WORDS: 5.5k

SUMMARY: It had been a many, many days since you and Noa had seen each other. It was eating away at you both, for different but overlapping reasons. This streak of absence, however, was going to break.

WARNINGS: a little angsty, fluffy, some spelling/grammar errors, idiots having a serious conversation

---------

The moment you exited outside the other end of the tunnel separating your worlds, you knew you had made a mistake. However, pride and an unwillingness to succumb to your feelings propelled you forward, forcing your head in the direction of your home. You felt the sting of tears burning your eyes, your hand quickly flew to your face to scrub the tears out; crying meant your feelings had won, it would mean that you were admitting to yourself you truly felt something for Noa, and you could not let that happen. Noa had said it himself, he was already interested in Creek, he had feelings for Creek and you had absolutely no chance because you were a human and she was what he was and wanted: an ape. She would be perfect for him, unlike you, who’d only cause problems. Noa and Creek could build a life together and they’d live happily ever after, and you just needed to find a way to be ok with that.

What were you thinking, anyway? Letting yourself get attached to an ape of all beings, and foolishly you didn’t smother your feelings the moment you became aware of them manifesting. All those hunts you’ve done together, all those nights you spent by the fire together completely enraptured by each other’s company, the longing glances and lingering touches and gleeful laughs— it had all built up to this catastrophic predicament!

And you just let it happen!

Now you needed to do damage control, attempt to kill these feelings before they can infect you further. Putting some distance between you and him would be good for you, for both of you, putting a stop to your desires before you made your friendship any more awkward. How much time it would take for these feelings to wither and release you, you weren’t sure; you supposed that you’d take as much time as you needed, until you had successfully stomped them out. You urged your horse Twilight onward, his trot speeding up to a canter. The sooner you returned home, the better.

You sighed deeply, scrunching the bridge of your nose as the rest of your face turned into a frown. You shouldn’t have been so short with Noa, he didn’t even know why you were upset— and he never will. Because you won’t tell him! Telling him would make things so unnecessarily messy and may put your friendship at risk (what’s left of it, anyway). You didn’t like guilt, you hated how it sunk its fangs deep into your brain, unwilling to let you go and making you replay your actions in your mind over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

You tried to let your mind wander for the rest of your ride, but it kept circling back to Noa and Creek and how you reacted. You were tormented the entire time, even as your village came into view and you rode closer and closer, you returned smiles and waves although they weren’t genuine, you put your horse with the rest. The moment he was taken care of you slinked away to your hut and latched the door shut. You dropped down your belongings which made a thud. You breathed in, trembled as you sighed, and let your face fall into your hands.

What have you done?

…

Noa tended to the eagles like he usually did, the large enclosure surrounding him and muting the outside. All he could hear and smell was the birds and their song. Eagle Sun perched on his shoulder, preening his large wings. Many of Noa’s days were gloomy, your long stretch of absence weighing heavy on his mind. He had not seen you in a long time, a full moon cycle and a half had gone by; Noa watched the moon wax into its crescent then its half, he watched as it bloomed into full and lit up the valley and then into waning. Noa was watching each and every night, counting the days as they went by, as the pieces of the moon waned smaller and smaller until the night sky held only the stars. Now, the moon has once again reached half full.

You still hadn’t returned. He still hadn’t been given the opportunity to make things right with you. He was uncertain of what had happened to you to cause you to be so distant from him, he had thought that everything, up until recently, was good. Now he may never know what happened!

Despite not wanting it to, Noa could not stop his mind from wandering away from him as he fell into the motions of caring for the eagles. What if you had decided to not come back to the Eagle Clan after your last talk with him? What if when you had returned to your tribe you had gone to your potential mate and he accepted? What if you were attacked on your way back and you never made it back to your tribe—

Noa shook his head, then immediately recoiled as Eagle Sun’s loud screech reverberated inside his ear and skull, as the eagle was displeased with his perch’s sudden movement. Eagle Sun flew away from Noa and landed on his own perch, ruffling his wings and stomping his clawed feet before finding the perfect spot; staring directly at Noa. Noa knew that beast was glaring at him, after all this time the bird still found ways to baffle and confuse him. Noa could feel Eagle Sun’s judging— harshly.  

Noa growled low under his breath, more to himself rather than the raptor side-eyeing him. “Anything you… can say? Tell Noa… what to do? Instead of sit there, and judge?”

Eagle Sun cried at Noa, bobbed up and down before flying out of the aviary. Noa shook his head and sighed, he turned around and the frown that was embedded on his face faltered as he was suddenly made aware of his mother’s presence. Dar approached.

‘Eagle Sun displeased with Noa?’ she asks

Noa shrugs his shoulders. ‘I am frustrated with Eagle Sun. He still antagonizes me.’

Dar chuckles, warmth permeating the enclosure. ‘Eagle Sun was not antagonizing you, son. You already have something on your mind.’

Noa, sometimes, hated when his mother was right. He turned away and huffed. “Nothing is on my mind… thinking of responsibilities.”

Dar raised her brow. “Oh? Then what… has you upset most days..? Has nothing to do with the Echo… does it?”

“…no.” Noa averted his gaze.

While looking away, Noa missed his mother walking across towards him, looking back to her when her comforting hand wrapped around his shoulder.

“Son… let me know what is… on your mind.”

Noa huffed, staring down at the ground. What would his mother say? That he was out of his mind, that the thoughts he was entertaining were dangerous and that he should not have had them in the first place? That is what would make sense.

‘Echo was upset with me… when they left.’ Noa began. ‘I do not understand why. When I asked, they insisted they did not want to talk about it.’

Dar hums. ‘Perhaps a personal, echo problem. Why does this confuse you?’

‘That is what I thought but Echo asked about… how I felt about Creek.’

Once Noa confessed this, Dar did not respond. Instead, his mother now looked deep in thought, mulling over a response. He tried to suppress his anxiousness for her answer.

‘Soona did mention Echo had a mate in mind.’ Noa cringed, which unfortunately was not missed by Dar. ‘Does this upset you?’

“No!” Noa suddenly exclaimed. “Echo has every right to… choose… someone else.”

Dar did not seem convinced. Shit. ‘Then why are you so upset?’

That was the question that had been haunting Noa’s mind ever since you had left all those days ago. You were an echo and he was an ape, there would be no logic or safety if your union came into being. The fact that he had a relationship with you was already hazardous, both for you and him. Maybe it was good that you hadn’t come back, maybe you had come to your senses before he did and realized that your friendship was putting yours and his life is danger and you had decided to stay away for good. He should be happy, if that was the case; you were able to make the hard, necessary choice that he couldn’t. Noa would just have to come to terms with the fact that he would never see you again. Never hear your voice or listen to sweet sound of your laughs, witness your skill and ingenuity in action, watch your lips move as you talk by the fire and the light illuminating your silhouette. Never again would he bask in your presence, and one day he would be able to cope with it… one day he was sure he could do it…

“I think,” Dar spoke, pulling Noa from his thoughts. “you should talk to Echo… enough time has passed, when they come back… say how you feel. They may… understand how you feel.”

With that, Dar turned and walked away, not before patting Noa on his shoulder. The last part of his mother’s sage guidance stuck out to him, wedged itself into his mind that he could not pull out; when you come back. She was so certain that you would return to him— er, return to Eagle Clan— that you wouldn’t be away for much longer. Noa wished that he had the same certainty, that you were only a day away from coming back. If you were coming back, he hoped that you’d put urgency into your pace, that maybe you were anticipating your arrival as much as he was.

Sighing heavily, he returned to tended the eagles. There was a younger bird preening, a particularly sunset coloured feather trailing down to the ground below. Noa grasped it and twisted it over in his fingers.

No use in hoping, he brooded, you’d arrive when you arrived, maybe you never will.

…

These days your thoughts were muddled with longing. Currently, you had managed to find a moment of peace for yourself, a kilometer out from your settlement you had found a decently sized lake. You started by weaving arrows while your horse loudly consumed grass behind you, replenishing your supply of ammunition, but after your fingers began to cramp and feel restless you had decided to search for stones flat enough to throw across the water’s surface. The stones managed to go far before sinking, the distinctive plop plop plop satisfying you each time. However, your satisfaction was always overshadowed as your thoughts refused to release you.

Many moons have gone by. Many of those moons were spent trying to rationalize your thoughts, deter your feelings and attempt to force them into submission, but they were more resilient than you were expecting. You had tried close to everything; repeating to yourself that Noa didn’t want you and that he had a perfect someone else, that Noa found you odd and would never find you attractive in that way, that you found Noa strange and weird and you could never find him attractive in that way either, that his tribe would cast him out as a traitor if they ever found out, that your tribe would cast you out if they ever found out about him. Or worse.

Yet the damned feelings remained, rooted inside you like a parasite. You couldn’t claw them out from the forefront of your mind, every time you tried to think of anything else your thoughts wandered back to Noa. How he was doing, if he had made things official with Creek. A small part of you tried to reason that, if Noa did bond with Creek, then you’d have to let go of your feelings. However, an even bigger part of you screamed and thrashed in protest at that notion.

You missed Noa, you missed him terribly. The memories you had made with him being tainted with misery, haunting you from the moment you awoke, all throughout the day, only being silenced when you had managed to slip into sleep.

You walked around through the dirt and mud, searching for a stone suited for tossing. You ground your teeth, trying to focus on how the water smelled and that there was a frog croaking somewhere not far from where you were. There was a moment, not too long ago, where you and Noa had been in a space similar to this; a pond, much smaller than this one, where you and him spoke together during sunset. You both were consuming dried fish and nuts, lost in each other and your conversation. You couldn’t remember what he was saying, admittedly you were more focused on him than his words, how with every pull of his lips you could catch glimpses of his fierce canines. His eyes were so green,the greenest eyes you had ever seen, in the light of the setting sun his irises shined like jewels with flecks of gold. His hands, so large and intimidating, meticulously pulling pieces of fish from the chunk and placing the morsel onto his tongue. You couldn’t recall any previous times where you had so intensely wished to be a fleck of smoked fish.

“uggh—RRAAAAAAAHHHHH!” you had found a rock; it no where near flat enough to bounce but still you found yourself ripping it up from the ground and throwing it as hard as you could into the waters. You breathed hard through your nose, watching as the stone plummeted with a splash!, water droplets soaring to the shoreline. You had hoped that this lake would make you feel better, that making your arrows would’ve made you feel better, that staying away from Noa for so long would make you feel better. It was no fucking use.

“Hey you,” you jolted and whirled around. “You might cause a tidal wave with how hard you’re throwing those.”

You breathed out, immediately feeling relieved when it was just your friend, Mahla, who had snuck up on you. Still, your mood was volatile, so you turned back to the lake. You hadn’t realized that the sun was beginning to set now and not just in your memory.

“How’d you find me?” you asked, starting to look for another, proper, rock.

“Wasn’t too hard, you’re not as careful to cover your tracks when you’re upset.” Mahla’s voice becoming prominent indicated that she had approached.

“I’m not upset.”

“Liar, you’ve been mad about something for almost two months. So, spit it out.”

You bit down on the inside part of your cheek. Mahla was one of your closest friends and while she wouldn’t understand the full scope of what has been eating at you (nor would you tell her), she had always been, most of the time, a good listener. The only downside of that was when she detected the slightest offset in your demeanor, she’d try her best to yank it out of you. With or without your permission.

You shakily took in a breath. “I’ve been thinking—”

“Careful, might hurt yourself doing that.” her voice was light with teasing, but you were in no mood to deal with it.

“Fuckin’—ok, never mind. Just leave me alone, please.” You snarled, your searing glare burning into the ground.

“No, no, ok I’m sorry, I really am.” Mahla shoved herself in front of you, halting your avoidance of her. “What’s on your mind?”

You sighed, before finding and sitting down on a large rock. Mahla followed suit, sitting so close to you she was practically snuggled into your side. You looked to her, not entirely turning your head to her, but you saw her face painted in a loving expression. You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“…I met someone, a while ago.”

“Outside of the tribe?”

“Yeah. He’s… very different—”

“So that’s why you’ve been going on those long hunts! You’ve been seeing a boy!” she laughs and jostles your shoulders; she was so blissfully unaware of your turmoil. It was grating, but you’d endure, she was only trying to help.

“Ugh, stop, you’re acting like a child.”

“No, I’m not! You’ve found someone!” Mahla’s smile was wide and bright, her eyes glittering in delight. “So, what’s his name?”

You gulped. “…Noa.”

“Ooo, handsome name. What’s he look like?”

“Uh—he uh,” FUCK!  “He’s got… dark, thick, hair..? Green eyes.”

“What’s he like? Does he treat you well?”

“Yeah… he’s been very decent and hospitable to me. And he’s—”  

“Hospitable? You’ve been to his village?”

“No!” you knew lying would eventually come around to bite you, but she was digging for details at such a rapid pace you needed to regain some control of this interaction. “J-just outside of it. Not too close.”

Her eyes narrowed at you, you hoped she wasn’t picking up on your fib. “Uh huh, sure, and he’s been hospitable to you.”

“We’ve just been hunting together.” You ground your molars.

Good lord, you should’ve known that divulging to her would lead to you being grilled about Noa and what he was like. How had her not pestering you for details about him not cross your mind? Of course she’d want to know.

“Sooo,” she scooted closer and wrapped her hands around your shoulders, shaking you slightly. “when are you bringing him around?”

“I’m not gonna bring him around.”

Mahla deflated immediately, her smile slipping from her lips. “Aw, that’s a bummer to hear. Why not?”

“I… I don’t know.” Your hands wrapped around your arms, Mahla scoffed.

“You don’t know why? But this guy has had you in a funk for over a month—”

“He just can’t, ok?” you explained, throwing your hands up. You shook your head, solemnly looking down at the ground. “I don’t know how he… feels about me. I don’t know if he feels the same.”

“Well, did you ask him?”

“Not exactly.”

Mahla groaned your name, dragging her hand over her face before looking at you. “What does ‘not exactly’ mean?”

You opened your mouth to respond but then started really processing what exactly Noa had said to you before you stormed away. “He… I asked him if he liked someone else, and uh, he said that he liked her…”

“And..?”

“…and he said he only saw her as a friend. But I… got upset at him.” You dropped your face into your hands. “I think I might’ve messed it up, whatever he and I had.”

Mahla hummed, her hand found your back and caressed you up and down. “That’s rough, babe.”

“Yeah, I know.” Your eyes were beginning to sting, welling with tears. This was so stupid, you were getting embarrassed.

“However,” Mahla began, her hand a grounding presence against your spine, which you needed. “he did say that she was just a friend. So, even though you completely and totally screwed up royally, maybe going back to him and explaining how you feel might fix things.”

“…yeah, I think you’re right.” And she was, but that didn’t stop the feeling of anxious guilt rearing its head.

“Good! I know I’m right.” Mahla stood so fast it made you jump, her hands found her hips audaciously. “Now hurry up and reconcile, so I can meet this handsome man you’ve been keeping to yourself!”

She smiled brightly and you couldn’t help but laugh. You knew for a damn fact that you weren’t going to be bringing Noa to your camp any time soon; if you did your people would certainly skin him alive and string you up by your ankles for daring to put the tribe in danger. Still, you smiled up at her, the idea of being able to bring Noa back home and show him off fluttering around your chest and warming your cheeks.

“Thanks, Mahla. Now buzz off, I wanna go back to throwing my rocks.” You smiled and she giggled while gazing into your eyes.

“Alright, alright! Have fun brooding.”

Mahla turned around from where she came, ducking through low branches and leaving your vision. You sighed and leaned back against your hands on the rock you sat on.

Her methods left a few things to be desired, such as privacy and non-pushiness, but overall you did agree with what Mahla said. At the time of your conversation you were bitter, Noa begging to understand what he had done when he had done nothing at all had irritated you when it shouldn’t of but you were wrapped up in your envy and you couldn’t stand the idea of him being with another. Despite that you missed him, you felt it in your whole entire being that you wanted to return to him and see his face one last time.

Maybe he’s shacked up with Creek after all, you recoiled at the voice gnawing at your thoughts, then it’d definitively give you a reason to back off.

You didn’t like that possibility.

However, another thought contested, if Noa hasn’t taken to Creek then maybe, just maybe, you got a shot.

Yes, it was a delusional way of thinking. It would be a good way to finally figure it out once and for all how Noa felt. Your guilt snarled, whispering to you that you have been gone too long and that he wouldn’t want to see you, but your guilt could go fuck itself. You stood and searched for your bag, once you found it you yanked it over your shoulder and jogged towards your horse. You swung your legs into your saddle and mounted him, urging him forward into a trot. You were probably too late, that thought crawled across the back of your neck.

However, you’ve made up your mind, and you weren’t planning on stopping. Onward, to Eagle Clan.

…

Noa, after a lot of thinking, had tacked up his mare and began to ride towards the corridor that kept his valley separate from yours. He had no idea how he was going to find you, the rains that had come and gone surely had wiped away any kind of tracks you left behind, but he’d find you. He could feel it in his gut.

Thankfully Noa was able to ride away with minimal goodbyes, the communal fire burning high and spirits in the village were pleasant as he departed. He rode away further into the forest; the sun had almost fully set, the last light of dusk fading out from the sky and pulling back from the gaps in the leaves from the canopy above. Noa had not figured out what he wanted to say to you if he found— when he found you, but he was certain that he’d be able to put his feelings into comprehensible words. Preferably before he had to face you. Noa took in his surroundings before returning to his thoughts, he was finally approaching the entrance of the corridor.

Noa knew he wanted to ask you why his friendship with Creek had upset you so much, he wanted to ask you why you had stayed away from him for so long, how you felt about him and if you felt the same way about him…

As Noa stared down into the darkness of the tunnel, he pulled his mare to a stop when he realized that… something was approaching. A light, a light that was coming closer and closer until he recognized its origin: a torch. He held the reins of his mare tighter, readying himself for whatever could be coming his way, however it became clear that wouldn’t be necessary.

As the light came closer and exited the cave, the torch illuminated your face. Noa suddenly felt breathless, like your visage had robbed him of air. His eyes couldn’t leave you, your torch held high and firm in your hand while the other grasped the reins of your steed, when your eyes took him in and realized he was before you he felt as if he was meeting you for the first time again; he felt nervous, uncertain of what to do next, desperate to take a step forward while being frightened of what that meant. Shock and happiness surged across your face, before falling away as your eyes averted his gaze. He could still see your eyes flicking up at him before returning to the ground, the flames of the torch shone across your lashes and glimmered in the white of your eyes.

The beat of silence didn’t last long as it was becoming unbearable. Noa approached slowly, slow enough to give you time to decide if you had changed your mind, that you actually didn’t want to be here in front of him. Your lack of movement and timid stare locked on him urged him forward however, he didn’t pause until he stopped his mare next to yours. If he had come any closer, his leg would’ve brushed against yours. You raised your head and looked at him.

“…Hey.” Your voice was the sweetest sound he had heard in a long time.

“…Hey.” He repeated, your eyes not breaking away.

There was another beat of silence, you and Noa listening to your breaths in tandem, if you were quiet enough you could swear you’d hear the beating of your hearts. You were certainly feeling the effects of your heart, heat flushing your body.

You swallowed. “I’ve… I’ve done a lot of thinking. About what you said and what I said. I’ve really missed you.”

You saw Noa fiddle with his reins. “I missed you too… Why did you leave? What did… I do to… upset you?”

Oh, there was that guilt. It made sure to wrench around your heart and pummel your entire being head to toe, slamming you against hard stone. You weren’t going to forgive yourself for this for a time.

You sighed heavily, you had to take a moment to look away from Noa. “Is it alright with you if we ride back to your village? Talk while we make our way..?”

It took Noa a second too long to respond, which freaked you out. “Or not—it’s ok if not, we don’t—”

“It’s alright… with me.” Noa circled around you, the hooves of his horse thumping against the earth. He stopped next to you, his horse butting her snout against the nose of yours. Said equines seemed completely disinterested in the tension between their riders, rubbing their few whiskers against each other. You nodded towards him, and both of you began your journey back.

The ride began quietly, the sounds of night critters creating a soothing ambiance; crickets trumpeted in their hidden spots, leaves brushed against each other in the light evening breeze, the odd call of a bird you couldn’t quite place resonating in the open air. As your terrain changed from the thick trees whose leaves shrouded your vision in darkness into open ground, with the light of the moon shining down on you both, you doused your torch and stored the pole into your saddle. You focused on the sounds of hooves, the constant sound helping to compile your thoughts into coherent words. You shuddered a breath before mustering up your bravery.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you the way I did, it wasn’t kind. It wasn’t fair of me.”

“...It’s… thank you. I am sorry too, for what I said—”

“No! Noa you didn’t do anything.” You urged your stallion slightly faster so you could halt Noa and his mare. “I…I acted in a way that I’m not proud of, and that’s because I felt… I felt, ugh, I feel very strongly about you!”

You spared a glance up at Noa, who blinked at you owlishly. You felt heat further spread down your neck, intensifying, the need to shrink into yourself and hide twisted in your mind. You inhaled deeply, held the breath then let it go.

“I didn’t and still don’t know how to wrap my head around it. I just, when I saw you with Creek and how close you both seemed I felt—”

“Jealous?” Noa interrupted, you almost felt faint from heat cooking you from the inside.

“Yeah… jealous. And I know that I have no right to feel that way, and Noa I am sorry that I lashed out at you and didn’t come back for so long... You make me feel nervous and I-I tried to get over those feelings because I know that it’s weird and I didn’t know if you felt the same about me— an-and it would be ok if you didn’t feel the same! I don’t know what overcame me when you were with Creek but I did feel jealous and that freaked me out and I—”

You jolted when a large, warm hand interlocked with your fingers, halting your hand which had been gesturing frantically. His hands were so much larger than your own, almost swallowing yours whole, yet it fit so perfectly. Felt so right, like your hands were made for his.

“I do feel the same. When Soona… told me that you were being courted by another… I felt jealous.” It was your turn to stare widely at him. You had no idea if he could, or if it was possible for him, but in the moonlight, he seemed to blush.

You let yourself think that, anyway.

Noa’s hold on your hand squeezed, despite yourself your heart fluttered. “There is no one else courting me, Noa. Soona saw that I was upset and I didn’t want to tell her that it was you so I, made something up.”

Noa chuckled then smiled at you, softly. “I don’t… want Creek. I want to be with you.”

You bit your lip, so much of what you were feeling effortlessly slipping away as it was overtaken with giddiness. “Really?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Really.” Noa’s smile turned so sweet and shy, he scratched the back of his neck.

You smiled widely, not holding back your feelings. “That’s… wow. I wasn’t expecting that, but,” your thumb rubbed over his knuckle. “I’m so happy to hear that.”

Noa smiled at you, so much so that you could see his canines peeking out past his lips. This revelation was exhilarating, truly you had not expected it. You were ready to be rejected, for him to be repulsed by just the idea of returning your affection, and to demand for you to never return. However, in all your doubts and worry, you hadn’t prepared yourself for what would happen if Noa returned how you felt. You were not ready for this, not even in your wildest dreams did you allow yourself to imagine his hand to be in yours and caressed, accepted for what you were despite everything that would deem you different. You felt high, so light and up in the sky, your heart pounding.

“I honestly don’t know what to do from here.” You said, a sheepish giggle following your words.

“Come back to Eagle Clan.” Noa wrapped his other hand around yours, completely encompassing your skin. “Don’t… have to stay, for long. But come back… with me.”

You made a shocked laugh, this night just kept getting better and better. You were overcome with such powerful emotion, despite yourself you threw your free hand across the back of Noa’s neck and pulled him into you. Your lips met and your eyes closed in bliss. It wasn’t the best kiss and it was odd, you were kissing an ape after all, but it was perfect. Noa made a small, muffled startled noise, to which to yanked yourself away from him. Noa stared at you, his face unmoving before the corner of his mouth pulled up slightly into a faint half-smile. You shyly smiled, trying to find anywhere else to look at besides him, which proved to be a challenge since you were so close.

“Sorry, shit, sorry. That’s a uh, human thing—very human thing. I should’ve told you about it before I…” your voice trailed off when one of Noa’s hand lifted off yours (you wanted to jump up and down when you realized he was still holding you) and gently wrapped around the back of your neck. His fingers pressed against the roots that grew from your scalp, and you fought so hard to not shiver at his touch.

“Echo way to… show affection?” He asked.

“Yeah. It is a way to show affection.” You nibbled your lower lip.

Carefully and ever so gently, Noa brought his head back to yours. For a sweet, wonderful moment, you thought he was going back to kiss you again, but his forehead pressed softly against yours. There was no where to hide from his eyes, his green irises were so tender, you huffed through your nose and closed your eyes. You didn’t need to be told what this was, you had seen others in his clan do this with close loved ones. Warmth embraced your whole body and you melted into him.

“I want to explore this… us.” Noa’s voice tickled your ear.

“I want that, too. I really do.” Your fingers were still interlocked and you squeezed, your other hand wrapping around his wrist that held you together.

-----

Thank you so much for reading!!! i am so happy with how this turned out, i am giggling and kicking my feet, i hope the dialogue isnt too clunky

for the next week i will be busy with studying hard, but i'll try to post a few drabbles here and there if i'm struck with inspiration. additionally, i have opened my inbox! ask me stuff, request stuff, whatever tickles the fancy. i used to do requests when i used to write like a long time ago and i do miss it, so ask away!

anyway thank you so much for readinnngggg it means a lot to me that so many people like what i'm writing.

have a good day or night!

-------

When you and Noa arrived at the village, you were surprised to be met with such acceptance. Any doubts you had of whether or not you were missed, those were smothered when so many of the apes around you acknowledged you with such warmth. Next to Noa, Soona and Anaya happily greeted you and you were quickly pulled to sit by the communal fire. You all spoke together, laughter filling the air.

After a while, you stood to excuse yourself. You needed to relieve yourself, so hidden into the treeline you went.

Once well enough covered by leaves and bushes, but with the lights of the village still visible, you tried to somewhere decent. After turning and examining the space, you found somewhere satisfactory. You were about to conduct your business, when rustling from the bushes made the hairs on your skin stand on end. You cursed, you left your bow and arrows in the saddle of your horse, you reached down and unsheathed a hidden blade you kept strapped against your calf. You held it firm and put yourself into a stance to defend yourself; you tried to convince yourself it was probably nothing, that it was night and you were scared, but if you needed help you had no doubt that Noa would rush to your aid if you called out for help.

Your blood went cold. The bushes rustled more, louder and louder, your heart fell into your gut when you came face to face with Mahla. What the hell was she doing here? How—how had she found you?

This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good, you could hear your heart in your ears as Mahla stared you down.

Mahla gasped your name, and you cringed. “When… when were you going to tell me—”

“Mahla don’t.” you put your knife down, your hands lifting to hold out in front of you. “I need you to be calm, I can explain—”

“Don’t you DARE tellme to calm down!” Mahla exclaimed, you hoped to whatever god was out there that no one heard. She jabbed her finger at you. “You—you have been—”

“Please, please, I can explain everything, I just need you to not—”

“When were you going to tell me that Noa was an APE?!”

[wolfstarshipping]

the marauders & sex ed / casual shoebox propaganda

All the talk about the marauders and sex ed made me nostalgic for the shoebox project, so I reread chapter 13 (the one where Remus has literary wet dreams and they all get "the talk", more or less) and need to share my favorite bits of this classic:

Sirius

"I bought some -- some literature," Mr. Potter continues, shuffling through a few pamphlets in his lap. Pamphlets, Sirius thinks. I will never be able to look this man in the eye again. He isn't even able to look this man in the eye now, staring down at his shoes and wanting, more than anything else, to have the simple life of a shoelace. He'd only ever have to worry about fraying at the edges, or getting chewed on by puppies. That would be the life, even if it didn't have any pudding. "Well," Mr. Potter says, "how does this one sound? It's Perfectly Natural."

James

James knows now he will never, ever have sex. Some day, in the near future, once he has worn Lily down for the second time, and he finds himself locked with her in a passionate embrace, her lips sweet and her hair against his hands, he will remember suddenly and without warning this lone image of his mother, peering down at him from behind thick-rimmed spectacles, her gray hair wild from humidity and chores, saying sexual intercourse! triumphantly. And that will be the end of that.

and of course also:

"You need to be informed." His mother beams at him. "Now, of course, I'm sure you're very curious about all these new feelings you're having, and I want you to know that you needn't be ashamed of any of them, and I want you to ask me some of those burning questions." James gapes at her. "Your parents," she says, "can be a fountain of knowledge about sex in all its many forms." James's brain shuts down completely. After a moment he manages to croak out, "Mum?" "Yes, dear? Don't be afraid to ask the tough questions." "I have to go take a shower." Forever, he adds silently. "You are a little ripe," she agrees. "New glands, of course. Puberty! What a beautiful thing!""I can never speak to you again," James moans hollowly. "I'm going to move to Siberia and become a nun. Thank you, mum, for shaping my life this way.""Dear, I understand you're a little hesitant," his mother says placidly, and kisses him on the forehead before helping herself up to her feet. "But please understand that we -- your father and I -- know from personal experience that sex can and should be one of the world's most beautiful things, and you should never be ashamed of yourself sexually or--" "HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN," James bellows, hurling himself into the bathroom and slamming the door.

Remus

"Your…book," Remus repeats. Oh God, do they know? They couldn't know. Maybe literary dreams are some kind of Lupin family thing, and when they start then you're about to be initiated into the Lupin Family Secret. "I just -- I wanted to look up some, er, dreams." "We know," his father says. He leans across the table, putting a comforting hand on Remus' shoulder. "We just wanted you to know that these dreams happen to everyone." Remus gapes at him, aware that his mouth is unattractively filled with half-chewed peas. "Wh -- they do?" "Of course they do, sweetheart." His mother smiles at him, fond and understanding. The panic rises in Remus's throat. "You see, when you reach a certain age, your body starts to have…certain urges." "No," Remus says quickly. "No urges. There are no urges." "Of course there are," his mother presses, "and they're perfectly normal. It's hormones, you know. A function of the body. Nothing to worry about." "No urges," Remus insists. "No urges." "There's no need to deny it," his mother soothes. "We understand that you must be feeling -- confused, and alone, and possibly intimidated. It is, after all, a new phenomenon. You must be asking questions, like 'What's happening to me?' and 'Am I the only one?' But you aren't alone, dear." "I went through it, myself," his father says, slicing a piece of roast. "No urges," Remus says again. He's forgotten any other words exist. "Now, Remus," Mrs. Lupin says patiently, "we thought that, since you enjoy reading so much, a few books on the subject would prove very useful." "Am I still speaking English?" Remus babbles. "It sounds like English to me. Why aren't you listening? No urges. No urges!" "Well," Mrs. Lupin attempts, "the man at the store suggested this cartoon version for young men. Do you want to take a look?" "Not if it's about urges," Remus says, feeling hysterical. "I get it," his father says, winking largely at him. "No urges. Right? We'll just leave these in the living room. Just in case." Remus stares down at his peas. From now on, he supposes he won't be able to eat peas. He'll forever associate them with this sick, desperate nausea, his mother's helpful expression, his father's demented, lewd wink of conspiratorial understanding. "Ack," Remus says.

Peter

"Peter Wimsley Pettigrew, get your tail down to this room this instant!" Peter scuttles downstairs, not really having any choice in the matter. His mother is glowering at him, holding up something in her hand that looks like…a sock. A very small, rubbery sock. (...) "I don't understand," Peter says numbly. "Socks are supposed to go in the wash. Aren't they?" His mother's lower lip quivers. Her eyes flash with flecks of red fire, demonic and accusatory. Peter shrinks back. "Intercourse!" his mother howls. "It is a filthy practice, riddled with disease! Into the bath, young man! Two hours!" Peter turns tail and runs. "Do you have any idea?" his mother's voice follows him. "The warts -- herpes -- untold infections -- unsanitary -- disgusting -- filthy -- no son of mine--!" Peter slams the door to the bathroom behind him and locks it. It didn't even look like one of his socks. It was too small to be one of his socks. It must have been one of his sister's, got mixed up in the wrong laundry. He's not entirely sure where all this talk of intercourse comes in, and how warts got thrown in the mix, but he doesn't often listen to his mum and secretly encourages dust bunnies as pets, until she takes them away. It isn't as if he has to listen to her. Oh well, Peter thinks, and runs a nice, hot bath.

All quotes are from the shoebox project by dorkorific & ladyjaida.

[nkn0va]

Hey, chef anon here. I was rereading the househusband ask and got an idea from Kokonoe purring. What are some other catlike behaviors Kokonoe exhibits? Maybe going "pspspsps" gets her attention. Maybe she enjoys petting or getting her hair brushed or maybe even that thing people do where they just slap their cats.

God damn it, chef, I have other asks I need to do and then you drop this shit in my inbox now I have to do it.

Kokonoe A. Mercury

-As much as Kokonoe vehemently denies it (and she'd probably kill anyone if they ever find out), she has her fair share of catlike tendencies despite being only half-beastkin

-For one, the ever encompassing pspspsps is a good way to get Kokonoe's attention. Her cat ears stand up and her head immediately snaps over to the source, only to see you quietly laughing to yourself. She grumbles in annoyance and goes back to her work. Give it another 20 minutes and it'll work again. Much like the Kaka Clan also hailing from Jubei, she has quite the short attention span despite her genius intellect.

-Brushing her hair is one the easiest ways to get her to relax, especially when you're trying to get her to sleep for a damn change. Whether with an actual brush or just running your fingers through her hair it makes it harder for her to think before she eventually stops and gives in.

-Bonus points if you start scratching behind her ears too. She instantly goes red in the face as she starts involuntarily purring. If you dare do that in public you're getting your hand slapped away immediately and a scolding remark from her. She still has an image to maintain.

-Only makes it all the more satisfying when you're in private with her again and she puts her head under your hand like an animal does when they want attention and demands you scratch her ears.

-Silvervine has very little effect on Kokonoe anymore, having it basically in her body at all times. Other forms of catnip though is a different story. Swap out her silvervine candy for another kind as a prank and watch chaos unfold.

-She won't get full on hallucinations since she's only half-beastkin but she'll basically be drugged out. Hyperactivity only surpassed by the likes of Taokaka herself and unable to focus on any work she's doing. If there is a tall thing standing on a table or desk, that shit is getting knocked over with no thoughts, even if it was extremely important, a dramatically increased appetite, and if you happen to be in the vicinity, she will give in to her animalistic urges and pounce on you. She won't actually hurt you but you're not getting up for a pretty long while as she nuzzles her head against your chest furiously and purrs like an engine.

-When the catnip wears off and she wakes up Kokonoe realizes what happens and you're getting the verbal beatdown of your life. She'll probably threaten to scratch your eyes out or something and it would be scary if you weren't her husband, you know she wouldn't do that. You just seem to disarm her in a way no one else does, it simultaneously gives the professor that warm, lovey feeling and frustrates her to no end.

-It's not to as big of an extent as normal cats, but Kokonoe also hates cucumbers. Of course you're not so cruel as to sneak one into her food, but when she's not looking you'll sneak one on a table behind her so she'll jump back when she turns around and catches the unpleasant scent. She does have a more sensitive sense of smell than a normal person.

-If you're around she'll shoot a sharp insult your way. If not, she'll mutter angrily under her breath as moves to throw it away.

-Of course there's everyone's favorite, the laser pointer. You at least have the decency to not pull it out in the lab and risk her destroying important work stuff but at home there is no mercy. Pull it out when she's not looking and those urges will surface. She'll run around trying to stomp on the dot, if it goes to the wall she'll scratch at it like mad, so if you're a fan of the couches or the TV, don't put the dot there.

-It'll take her a while to notice what's going on, at least until your laughter gives it away. She'll hear it and snap out of it, angrily cussing you out as she storms off to your shared bedroom.

-She acts mad in the moment, and probably is, at least until it's time for bed and you get in with her as she's sulking. She threatens to scratch you if you get close to her until you spoon her small body and start running your fingers through her hair and she reluctantly and begrudgingly relaxes into it.

-If there's one thing you've learned about Kokonoe in your relationship together, even before you married, it's that she's the queen of mixed signals. Appropriate, given her heritage. No matter how mad she acts, for whatever reason she just can't find it in herself to stay mad at you.

[tuesdaytangerine]

that was one of the best fucking manhwa i have ever laid eyes on and its only at 41 chapters and hoLy shit the world building is actually so cool i love the power system i love the monsters i love the backstory its feeding into EVERY single cliche i NEED and crave and search for like a man dying of thirst in the desert the art style is actually making me hyperventilate its so good i need to study it under a microscope and dissect it HOLYH SHIT the main character is so FUCKING fine i cant DO THIS Anymore IM ACTUALLY LOSING it the plot is great its so good its so good i genuinely couldn't stop reading it and i actually think im burning up rn because of it i had to physically set my device down and just sit there and THINK because of this shii and IM STARTING TO THINK OH whatever i cant think RN because omgo the author dropped these arts and i actually cant im going to lose it this manhwa is so crazily good i have a presentation literally tomorrow and i haven't started on ANY of it my brain and mind is entirely occupied and I CANT BLAME them for anything this manhwa actually has me on my knees im a fcking prisoner to this manhwa you guys don't understand after reading sm trashy boirrng manhwa im like a Chinese immigrant during the Californian gold rush finding a gold nugget during my afternoon sifting except this gold nugget is actually a fucking 19249012480912 karats and I've just become the richest person to EVEr exist i gen cant do this anymore every time i think about the characters or the plot i become overcome with the overwhelming urge to reread the entire thing because it left off on a cliffhanger which will surely by my academic downfall

[otissbluebearshirt]

I See Red 18+

Chapter 12 - You Know Where to Find Me

Word Count: 4545

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

If Crowley had known that ruling Hell would be this boring, he might have given it more than a split second of thought before he agreed to take on the mantle. 

Every day was exactly the same. Long. Tiresome. Full of incessant, whiny, prepubescent demons who all think they deserve one thing or another just because they managed to do their jobs without ending up dead. And if Crowley had to sit through another one of their spiels, without falling asleep — or straight up killing them, then there was no doubt about it… He was going to go crazy.

It’s like Ramiel knew what he was signing Crowley up for when he offered him the throne, and if Crowley ever saw that yellow-eyed bastard again, then mark his words, there would be Hell to pay – pun fully intended.

“All I’m saying, sir, is that I think I deserve a little more credit for all the deals I’ve made this month.” A demon named Elias said, respectfully of course as Crowley wasn’t in the happiest of moods today and he’d already killed two demons just for wasting his time.

“And all I’m saying is that I don’t care.” Crowley muttered, rolling his eyes that he had yet to raise from his phone. The screen of which they had spent all evening glued to, rereading the last text message he’d received from Selina and allowing him the chance to feel something other than frustration and hatred towards all demonkind.

“Figures.” Elias huffed out, all signs of respect gone from his tone the second he lifted his head, revealing the sly, crooked smile that was tugging on his lips as Crowley finally glanced up from his phone, his eyebrows raising over his darkening eyes, which were slowly widening the longer they remained locked with Elias’s. As though he was urging him to continue as he could probably benefit from killing someone else today. 

Bad things often did happen in threes, and it appeared as though Elias was more than happy to be the third as he didn’t hesitate before carrying on, his tone slick with hatred, “You’re probably too busy texting that little whore of yours to even notice what’s been happening in Hell these days.” 

Crowley chuckled dryly, casting his thoughtful gaze slowly around the room to find that everyone in it had froze. Quite literally too as there were now multiple hands suspended in the midair, and one demon had even been in the middle of picking something up as he was now hunched over, too afraid to stand up straight should he draw attention to himself. 

Nice to see they were still scared of him. Still terrified of whatever wrath Crowley might release on them given Elias’s idiotic decision of bringing up Selina. Not to mention calling her a whore? On a day where the King was already in a homicidal mood? Didn’t Elias know any better? That was just plain suicidal and the others did not envy him at all.

But they did pity him a little. Especially when Crowley decided that hands-on would be the best source of punishment and practically ripped himself from his throne. His jaw tensed tightly as he pushed Elias up against a pillar, digging his fingers so deep into his throat that blood spewed from his mouth and caused those around them to recoil out of fear and retreat cowardly into the shadows. 

“Do you want to say that again?” Crowley gritted, increasing the pressure and the pain he was inflicting on Elias, silently begging that he was stupid enough to say it again. 

At least that way he’d have more of a valid excuse to kill him. Unlike the last two. Come to think of it, he should probably stop killing demons for no particular reason other than for boring him. Otherwise, his ranks would wear thin and he’d have to go looking for new ones to take their place, and that was never fun. 

But at least this time, he’d have a reason. And a damn good one at that.

Elias chuckled, it being nothing but a spluttered breath that sent blood dripping down his chin as he choked out, “We’ve all heard the rumours. About you and the Winchester girl. Hard to believe that the King of Hell would fall for a human. Let alone a hunter.” He coughed, more blood spurting out from between his stained lips before he corrected himself, “Or should I say, a whore .”

Crowley said nothing. He didn’t need to. The intense rage behind his eyes spoke the words for him and when he blinked? When that deep, blood-like red clouded over every inch of what had once been white, brown and black? Smoke wisping out of them like they were on fire? Well, that was all Elias needed to know that not only were the rumours about him and Selina one hundred percent true, but that he had fucked up. 

Royally. 

Everyone knew that Crowley didn’t flash his essence, let alone in such a way that had it seep out of his eyes, unless the situation was dire. And in this case, it just so happened to be the direst it could ever be, which is why no one was surprised when, in one quick motion, Crowley pulled out his angel blade and stuck it so deep into Elias’s chest that the tip poked out through his back, colliding with the cement pillar behind him. 

The pain-filled cry that left Elias’s mouth, mixed with the pulsating of electricity beneath his skin brought Crowley a warm, self-satisfied rush of pleasure. So much so that he didn’t release Elias’s body from his tight grip until the very last spark of life had left his eyes, now cold and empty as they stared up at him, still frozen in fear in a way that had a small smile twitching on Crowley’s lips.

Eventually, and with a soft hum of satisfaction, Crowley pulled the blade free, allowing Elias’s body to slide down the blood splattered pillar and land in a heap by his feet. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a black handkerchief and began to wipe the blood from his blade as he turned, throwing his still serious gaze towards those in the room who hadn’t snuck away out of fear for their life. 

“Clean up, aisle nine.” Crowley said humorously, which was surprising given what had just happened. Or rather, what had been said to cause what had just happened. He pocketed his now clean blade and stepped away from the body, watching as two demons instantly began to drag Elias’s dead meatsuit out of the room, leaving a faint trail of blood behind them. 

Normally Crowley would have someone clean that up the second the body was removed, but today he decided against it, opting to leave it there as a reminder of what would happen should anyone dare utter Selina’s name in his presence again – regardless of the context. He didn’t think anyone would after seeing that , but perhaps a verbal warning might be a good idea too as his demons weren’t exactly the brightest and oftentimes they had trouble picking up what he’d put down. 

“I’m sure you are all well aware of the rumours that are circulating the asylum,” Crowley began, in a tone more serious than any his demons had ever heard leave his lips. “And while I don’t give a damn what any of you little rodents should think about them, I will say this: Should any of you, for whatever reason, go near Selina Winchester. Should you lay a finger on Selina Winchester. Should you even utter her name in my presence then believe me, I will not hesitate to send you so far into the darkest reaches of Hell that even God himself couldn’t pull you back out, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, your majesty.” The response was quick, mumbled and, for all intents and purposes, half-assed but it would suffice. His subjects were frightened, and rightfully so, so he couldn’t fault them for that.

Therefore, Crowley simply smiled his usual, cocky smile then said, “Good. Now get out of my sight.” 

Those in the room moved faster than ever before and within seconds the doors to the throne room banged shut, allowing Crowley to let out the rather deep, and relieved, breath he’d been looking forward to all day. Why he ever stayed King, he’d never know. It was truly exhausting and it was lucky he had Selina to take his mind off most of it these days, otherwise Guthrie would find himself getting one hell of a promotion – again, pun fully intended. 

After pouring himself a rather hefty drink, Crowley took a seat on his throne now that he had peace and quiet that would hopefully remain undisturbed – it should, he didn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to disturb him after today. He pulled out his phone again, a soft smile pulling at his lips when he was greeted instantly with Selina’s message thread, which he’d forgotten to close in his haste to kill Elias.

Taking a long sip of scotch, Crowley began to scroll through the vast amount of messages that lived within it, the ones of late consisting mainly of cat pictures as Selina could get a tad enthusiastic when Kit fell asleep. Like seriously, Kit could move even the slightest inch and she’d be sending him another picture. Not that he minded, obviously. If it made her happy then it made him happy, but as much as he enjoyed seeing pictures of Kit, he’d much rather see pictures of Selina herself. At least that way he’d have something to focus on rather than the whiny demons around him.

Crowley hadn’t seen Selina since Henry died, which was coming up on two weeks now. Two long, dull and seemingly never ending weeks without seeing the only face he could ever want to see, and all because she and her brothers decided to road trip around America killing any monster they came across – they never were good at dealing with their grief in a healthy manner so he expected nothing less.

But it was going on for far longer than he’d anticipated and it was no wonder Crowley was killing so many of his men. At this rate, if he didn’t see Selina soon there may not be any demons left to take his frustrations out on. So, perhaps it was in everyone’s best interest that he text her and see if she was back home yet. Maybe then he’d find himself feeling a little happier and less murderous. 

Crowley: Have your adventures come to an end yet or are you still off exploring the country?

He waited patiently for a reply – sort of, his fingers were drumming restlessly on the arm of his throne and if he didn’t receive one in the next thirty seconds then he was popping up inside the bunker to check for himself. And he didn’t even care if he was welcome or not, he just needed to see her. 

Luckily, and as though she had read his mind, and sensed his impatience, Selina replied. But not with words, or at least, coherent words as one might have expected. Instead, all she sent him was a babble of letters that sparked a hint of worry deep within his chest. Was she hurt? Was she being held hostage and in need of saving again? The possibility was high and Crowley had already abandoned his drink and stood up, about to go straight to her before another message came through. Only this time, it was a photo. 

More specifically, a selfie. Featuring a rather happy and smiling Selina, one that made the worry in Crowley’s chest fade away and it was replaced instantly with relief – warmth too as he never thought he’d get to see her smile like that again. In the background stood Sam and Dean, looking less happy and, quite frankly, unamused – no doubt because Selina was sitting on the pool table that they were clearly trying to play, if the cues in their hands were any indication. 

It looked like they were home as they appeared to be in the bar located just down the road from the bunker. The very same place, outside of which, Crowley had given Selina her birthday present — that he could see still fastened around her neck. Right where she said it would stay.

And so, rather than text her back like anyone else might have, Crowley found himself being quickly overwhelmed with a sense of longing to be near Selina, even for a moment. Therefore, he took it upon himself and decided to join them.

The second he appeared in the bar, taking cover in the bathroom hallway as even though most of the patrons were probably drunk – he couldn’t risk them seeing him, Crowley immediately spotted Selina. She was still sitting on the pool table, kicking her heels against the edge with a smile on her face and a drink in her hand, looking as happy as Crowley could ever want her to be and in turn making him feel the same.

Funny how a single person could easily make him forget the events of the day. And thank God she could otherwise, who knows where he’d be right now.

“My, my,” Crowley began, making his way towards them and hearing the faint groan of annoyance that left Dean’s lips before he’d even caught sight of him. “Fancy seeing you lot here.”

“Crowley!” Selina said giddily, jumping off the table with such haste that she almost toppled over, making Crowley have to physically catch her before she did. 

Once their bodies collided, Selina practically clung to him, her arm wrapped so tightly around his neck that if she flexed, his head might have popped off like the cork in a bottle of wine. She wobbled on her feet as she positioned herself by his side, a soft, contented sigh leaving her lips as she nuzzled her face against his shoulder.

“I knew you couldn’t resist me.” Selina mumbled, only loud enough for the two of them to have heard. Thankfully. She sighed again, only this time deep enough that it wafted its way towards Crowley, making his nose twitch from the stench of pure alcohol that was all but radiating from her.

“Are you drunk?” Crowley asked, glancing down at her and getting nothing but a faint giggle in response as she hid her face from him. It was his turn to sigh now, clenching his jaw as he turned to her brothers and asked, or more so demanded, “Is she drunk?”

Sam scoffed, “Drunk is an understatement.”

“She’s hammered .” Dean said with emphasis, leaning down to line up his shot now that Selina had removed herself from the pool table. He could have done without it being Crowley who drove her to do it but hey, a win is a win.

The gentle clack of the pool balls followed suit as Crowley frowned, reaching out to take Selina’s drink from her hand as it was plainly obvious that she’d had enough and the last thing he wanted was for her to pass out and end up choking on her own vomit. He set the glass aside just as Selina tried to take it back, clearly offended as evident by the overzealous pout on her face. One Crowley might have adored had she not been in such a state. 

“I think you’ve had plenty.” Crowley said seriously, taking a gentle hold of the hand she had extended in front of him and slowly lowering it to her side, which only made her pout even more.

“You’re no fun.” Selina huffed out, removing her arm from around Crowley’s neck and folding them across her chest. However, her sulking only seemed to last a split second before she turned back to him, her head tilted a little as she asked curiously, almost childishly, “If you’re a King… Why don’t you have a crown?”

The sound of a pool cue hitting the side of the table echoed through the air before Crowley could speak – not that he knew what to even say to that. He glanced to his side, meeting Dean’s widened eyes after he’d literally missed his shot. He’d seen his sister drunk before but never to this extent, although clearly Sam had as all he did was sigh to himself and run his hand down his face, unsurprised to say the least.

Then, Selina gasped, her eyes wide, “I could - hic - make you one! Does anyone have any alu- hic- minium foil?”

“Alright.” Dean muttered, setting his pool cue aside after sharing a brief nod of agreement with Sam. “I think it’s time you went home.”

“No. I wanna stay here and drink more.” Selina protested, not ready for the night to end just yet. She turned to face Crowley, placing her hands on his shoulder and resting her chin atop them as she all but batted her eyelashes. “Crowley, stay here and drink with me.”

“I don’t think that's wise, darling.” Crowley said softly, subtly, yet reluctantly, shaking Selina off him as he was well aware of the two pairs of eyes that were currently fixated on them. It was becoming clear that Selina had absolutely no filter when she was this inebriated so the less she drank, the better. Otherwise, she might end up saying something she probably shouldn’t. “Perhaps I should take you home instead.”

“You’re always so good to me.” Selina hummed contently, closing her eyes and leaning her head against his shoulder, where Crowley could feel the rather wide smile she had plastered on her face. 

“Unless you two have any issues with that?” Crowley added for good measure, casting his questioning gaze towards Sam and Dean, both of whom weren’t sure what to think right now let alone did they know what was happening. 

But perhaps Crowley was right. 

It was clear that Selina was in absolutely no fit state to stay, and if she did, there was a high chance that she’d end up passed out on the floor. Or worse, wind up being dragged away by some sleazebag with bad intentions – not that Sam and Dean would ever let that happen, it’s just that Selina did have a tendency to wander off when they weren’t looking and lord knows what she might get herself into. A fight probably. 

So maybe it was for the best that Crowley took her home. At least that way, and they couldn’t believe they were thinking this: she would be safe. It had only been a few months ago where they would never, ever dream of sending a drunk Selina home alone with Crowley of all people but these days? They’d never admit this aloud but ever since the day he’d stopped Selina from getting assaulted they’d grown to trust him a little, which is why they showed no objection and happily – sort of – allowed him to take her home. 

After a stern warning of what would happen should be try anything. Obviously. 

The bunker was a welcome sight for Crowley when he and Selina appeared within the walls. Not just because it meant Selina was home for good and that he might be able to see her more often but because it was becoming more and more obvious that she was in desperate need of some sleep, as she’d practically fallen into one as she leaned against him. 

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” Crowley said softly, wrapping his arm around Selina’s waist as he began to guide her down the corridor towards her bedroom, making him wonder why he didn’t just zap the two of them there and save them the extra few steps.

With a wave of his hand, Crowley sent Selina’s bedroom door flying open, allowing her to shuffle slowly inside as she hummed the tune to a rock song that was vaguely familiar, but just not enough for him to place it. This would normally be where he took off and left her to her own devices, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. At least, not until she’d drunk a few mouthfuls of water and was safely beneath her covers.

So, Crowley followed her in, smiling to himself when he found her cooing at Kit like she’d never seen a cat before. He grabbed the edge of the door, spinning on his heels a little as he closed it quietly behind him. He’d barely managed to turn back around to face the room again before Selina was suddenly all over him, pushing him up against the closed door and raking her fingers through his hair as she kissed him, with such intense heat that it could potentially rival that which resided in Hell. 

Not to mention allowing him to taste exactly how much scotch, and surprisingly tequila, she’d consumed tonight. And let’s just say, he had no idea how she was still standing. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for so long.” Selina whispered, the alcohol pumping through her veins making her unable to feel embarrassed over her obvious desperation. She kissed him again, this time even harder as she took hold of his hands, placing them on her waist with a little more force than necessary, as though Crowley was fighting against her.

And little did she know, he was fighting against her. Strongly at that. He wanted to touch her, lord knows he did, but he knew he couldn't. If he gave in and allowed her to take the lead then they’d only end up sleeping together and that wasn’t right. No matter how much they both wanted it – Selina was drunk, and if there was one thing he swore he would never, ever do, it was take advantage of her like this. 

“Selina,” Crowley exhaled, pulling back from her and trying his best to keep up with her wandering hands that were currently pulling at his tie. But Selina seemed to be more focused on what she’d been resisting since her birthday to pay any attention to his words.

And so, Crowley said her name again. 

Only this time he said it more sternly, with more depth, making her finally stop what she was doing and glance up at him with those gorgeous doe eyes of hers. He took a gentle hold of her face, feeling the softness of her skin beneath his touch as he whispered, “We can’t do this.”

“But I don’t wanna resist it anymore, Crowley, I want you.” Selina said, in a voice so low that had Crowley not been a demon, he never would have heard it. But he was, therefore he had and it was enough to make his heart flip beneath his chest. Guess the saying was true, drunk minds do speak sober hearts. “I thought you wanted me too.”

“I do want you, darling.” Crowley said quickly, assuringly. All whilst ignoring the tug of his heart as he never thought she’d misread his dismissal as him not wanting her back because by God did he ever. “More than anything, do I want you but just… not like this.”

Thankfully, Selina was coherent enough to understand the true meaning behind his words and part of her knew he was right. This wasn’t the way and there was still enough soberness left awake in her mind for her to know that. She didn’t want their first time to be whilst she was drunk and most likely not going to remember it. She wanted it to be special. She wanted it to be everything she’d imagined it to be. A moment she’d be able to remember and so she nodded, her tiredness quickly taking over as her eyelids began to droop.

In one swift motion she fell forwards a little, nuzzling her cheek against Crowley’s chest, hearing the faint beat of his heart and feeling as he wrapped his arms tightly around her small frame. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss atop her head and she could have sworn she heard him whisper ‘ we’ll do it right’ — before he released her from his hold and helped her cross the room towards her bed, sitting her down gently on the edge.

Clicking his fingers, Crowley magicked up a glass of water and handed it to Selina, finding relief when she took it without a fuss and began to slowly drain the glass. He smiled warmly, brushing her hair out of the way before he began to search around for her pyjamas, which hopefully she’d manage to change into by herself as he didn’t think it was the best idea to do it for her given what just happened.

After looking under her pillow, where he found nothing but a rather large knife – that he removed and set as far away from her as he could, Crowley ended up just lifting Selina a new pair of pyjamas out of her drawer, setting them down beside her and shooing Kit away when he tried to lie on them. He crouched down in front of her, having set the now empty glass aside, and took a gentle hold of her hand, causing her to look down at him with a lopsided smile.

“Chances are, you won’t remember any of this when you sober up. But if you do. And if you still want me... You know where to find me.” Crowley said, lifting their joined hands to press a soft kiss against her knuckles, raising her smile to a full and proper one that made his stomach flutter something terribly. 

Crowley straightened and adjusted his tie, which was partially crooked and half falling out as Selina had nearly unravelled it in her moment of weakness – which, come to think of it, Crowley was really hoping wasn’t a moment of weakness and that she’d make good on her confession once she was sober and able to fully consent. He didn’t think he’d be able to forget this night, and if Selina didn’t remember what had happened, he wasn’t quite sure how long he’d be able to keep her in the dark about it. Even if he did want to save her from any embarrassment it may give her.

“Crowley.” Selina said softly, pulling Crowley from the thoughts he hadn’t realised he’d fallen so deep into. He hummed in acknowledgement, glancing down at her with a warm smile as she hesitated for a minute before saying, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Crowley said reassuringly, as she didn’t and he didn’t ever want her to think that she did. He reached out, placing his hand lightly aside her face, feeling as she leaned into his touch and made it ten times harder for him to want to leave. Then, he leaned down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead before whispering, “Now get some sleep and I’ll call you in the morning.”

And before Selina could say anything in response, he was gone. Leaving her to do nothing but change into her pyjamas, climb into bed and hope that when she woke up – she wouldn’t remember a thing.

Chapter 13 ->

[slayerdurge]

Secure Your Soul: A Cyberpunk 2077 Fanfiction

This fic was previously published under the title "Before the Event Horizon."

Summary: Six months ago, V's boss at Arasaka ordered her to assassinate his rival. Instead, with the reluctant but invaluable help of her old friend Jackie Welles, she pushed them both off their thrones and claimed one for herself. Now the new Director of Arasaka Counter Intel has a problem. She's uncovered information that indicates that Yorinobu Arasaka, the heir apparent to the Arasaka dynasty, is a traitor. But without solid proof, she's forced to take matters into her own hands. An AU in which Corpo!V never leaves Arasaka.

CHAPTER ONE: BALLAD OF A POLITICIAN

[read on ao3]

V’s eyes were glued to her leftmost monitor, incessantly rereading the international regulations on lunar base licenses. Her right monitor displayed the bios of every member of the European Space Council; her center refreshed every two minutes with the latest reports from Frankfurt. Assuming the lead she needed existed, it was buried in one of these places. A regulatory loophole, a bribe or blackmail opportunity of a key council member—if there was some potential solution, she would find it.  

Without thinking, she opened her drawer and inhaled a cognitive booster. An hour had passed since her meeting time with Jenkins; she wouldn’t be able to put it off much longer. But if she couldn’t present an alternative idea to save the lunar base licenses, she knew he’d go through with his deep clean of the entire Space Council. V was unlikely to shed any tears over a bunch of useless bureaucrats, but Jenkins’ plan was a stopgap at best. They’d gain about a week, and lose more eddies in the cover up than that week was worth.

V used to admire Jenkins’ ruthless efficiency, but ever since Abernathy had fucked him over, he’d gotten careless. A stupid emotional reaction.

V’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, willing herself to come up with some new angle to try, when her stomach gave a sudden lurch. She brought up her biometrics panel on her optics display. Heart rate: elevated. Cortisol level: elevated. Daily intake report: 865 calories below optimal. It occurred to her that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and she’d just taken… she counted the empty containers…  four cognitive boosters in the last hour? When had that happened?

She didn’t have time to consider it any further because another lurch forced her to run to the bathroom and vomit all over the fancy black marble sink.

—

She received a call just as she was ridding herself of the last bits of her breakfast. She hadn't intended to answer it right then, but the rocking motion she made as she was throwing up caused her optics to register her eye motions as an Accept Call signal. Which meant one of her confidential informants got an earful of vomit noises.

"V," said Jackie Welles. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," V gasped. "Just needed a breather."

"Sounded like you just blew your guts airlock."

V wiped the leftover vomit off her mouth and frowned at her reflection. "Yeah," she admitted. "I barfed."

"Job's gonna kill you.” The translator in her brain had shifted the conversation to English, but it alerted her that Jackie was using Spanish. She'd have guessed so anyway. He tended to do so when he wanted to make a point. A fairly ironic point coming from a street merc.

"Yeah," V said. "Maybe I should've gotten a safe one. Like you did."

"Hey, at least I always know who's shooting at me. Sometimes even why."

V was about to respond, when one of her coworkers walked into the bathroom. She didn't recognize him, but that was no surprise considering the size of Arasaka's employee count. When he noticed her situation, he paused at the door and stared as if unsure whether he still wanted to come in.

V felt the urge to yell at him, but that was absurd. Defensiveness in a moment like this would only make her come off as even weaker. She forced herself to smile in an imitation of graceful humility.

"Sorry about the mess," she told him. "By the way, if you go to the café on level B2, don't order the burrito."

The man nodded politely before walking into a stall.

"Bad burrito, huh?" Jackie continued.

"Look, Jack, is there a particular reason you called me?"

“Damn, V. Just checking in on you. No need to get all annoyed about it.”

“I’m sorry. Just caught me at a bad time, that’s all.” V exhaled, her muscle memory leading her through the neuromotor relaxation exercises she'd learned from her life coach at Quantified Satori. “We had a leak. My boss called. Dragged me in because we had to intervene. Everyone at Night City HQ is on edge.”

“But no way you’re fucked, right? You’re the one who fixes other people’s shit.”

V nearly laughed. “If you work in Arasaka Counter Intel, you’re always fucked.”

She checked the clock on her optics. The Council would convene for the vote within the next fifteen minutes. Her time was up. “Listen, gotta go. Work won’t do itself.”

“Good luck,” he said in Spanish again, then hung up.

V took a second for one last round of the exercises, then headed out.

—

She pretended to ignore the fact that everyone in the hallways was talking about Frankfurt, but, in reality, she listened eagerly. It was as good an opportunity as any to keep her finger on the pulse of NCHQ's emerging consensus on the issue. Most of what she heard was speculation and complaints, but even those details had value. Most importantly, the general chatter confirmed that Jenkins’ reputation had tanked as much in everyone else’s eyes lately as it had in her own. Not for the first time in the last few days, she wished she’d attached her name to someone else, and she nearly cringed when she overheard someone refer to her as “Jenkins’ girl”.  

About halfway to Jenkins’ office, a voice called out to her, “Hey, V. It’s been ages. It’s me, Frank. We met during Icefall. East coast, remember?”

He did look familiar. He’d grown a beard since she last saw him, and he’d installed some new cyberware, but you don’t easily forget an agent you used to do fieldwork with. Despite her tight schedule, V slowed down. Frank Nostra was Spec Ops, and there’d never been a better time to expand her circle of alliances.

“I didn’t know you were in Night City,” she said with a slight lilt. “How’ve you been?”

“Ah, you know how it is,” he continued texting as he spoke to her, but V knew better than to take that as a slight. More likely he was too busy to slow down. “A week ago I was still in Cape Town. I heard you’re in Counter Intel. Must have a shitshow on your hands right now after Frankfurt. Jenkins is your lead, right? Is he what everyone says he is?”

V decided to play it coy. “What does everyone say about Jenkins?”

“That he’s effective. Like any psychopath. Apparently, he’s gotten a little crazier lately.”

“Well,” V said. “He’s in an unfortunate position. He thought the director was planning to greenlight his promotion when the Japanese arrived, but she decided against it. I suppose he interpreted that as a betrayal. Even the best of us have been known to crack under that kind of pressure.”

Nostra stopped texting just long enough for her to tell that her insubordination had been noted. “I work for Director Abernathy, actually,” he said. “She’s really good. Came up with the whole Cape Town ploy on her own.”

“She is,” V agreed. “I’ve always thought she was an intelligent woman. You’re lucky to work under her.”

Nostra put his phone away for the moment. “You know, V, Spec Ops is always looking for new operatives. With our history, I could put in a good word for you, let Abernathy know if you’re open to a change in position.”

V smiled. “I’d appreciate that, Frank. I think it’s a good time to explore some new career opportunities.”  

“Ah, you do, don’t you?”  Nostra asked, his eyes narrowing. “Of course, Abernathy’s looking for the right candidate. Someone who knows how to appreciate being pulled screaming out of a raging dumpster fire.”

In a way, she envied him that lack of subtlety. He could only afford it because of his advantageous position over her. Still, even with a rotten hand, V always found this game exciting. “Of course. I think you’ll find working under Jenkins for two years has given me a lot of insight into his worldview. I’d happily share that with Abernathy.”

Nostra was already back on his phone. “Well, then I think we have an agreement. Nice seeing you, V.”

“Nice seeing you too, Frank.”

V walked away, now running later than she could excuse even in the most severe circumstances. Well, pretty soon it wouldn’t matter anymore. It’d be good to be back in the field again. The boardroom intrigue had its own appeal, but she’d been sitting in a desk chair so long that she felt eager at the thought of physical action.  

She passed through the security scanners in front of Jenkins’ door, and stepped into his office.

[sweetgoblinhaze]

I have some drider OCs I would like to share, but I'm miffed that I don't have good art of them yet because WHY SPIDERS?? Why do your legs do that???

That out of the way, their story is a tragedy of the highest degree. I will put a cut here and under it is summary of their lives.

I did not reread it before posting, so if things may be raw.

Formerly a drow and a sun elf, their names have been lost to them, and so I will use the names they were given after their transformations. Imfryn'yath and Quevelki. Fryn and Elki for short.

Fryn escaped Menzobarrenzen by making a run for it while going up for a raid on the surface. Caught up in house politics, he knew he had a large target on his back, and just enough gall to leave. He made his way ahead of the raiding party to the small village of elves that they were tasked to slaughter and warned them of the incoming attack... with charades and trying not to be stabbed mostly. He helped defend the village to endear himself to them and, as he had hoped, they allowed him to stay afterwards.

Adjusting was difficult at first, but it didn't take as long as he thought it might to settle in and see things in a more "surface" way. He fell in love with the flora around him and the arts that the elves seemed to always be crafting. It took years before he was sure that no one would stab him in the back.

By that time, he had caught the attention of a sun elf, Elki, and they began courting. They were a match made in the heavens. A decade later, they were married- a whirlwind romance if an elf had ever seen one.

Then, in the dead of night and with none of the usual barbarity that comes with a raid, they were both whisked off back to the Underdark. Back to Fryn's house. Lolth demanded punishment suddenly after all those years, and it hadn't taken a spy more than one trip to find his weakness.

Elki and Fryn were separated by a stone wall between their two cells. Fryn wasn't tortured, questioned, or even spoken to. He was kept fed and healthy. Elki was not so lucky. The priestesses broke him down bit by bit, demanding that he forsake any surface god and give himself fully to Lolth.

Eventually, the torture worked. Elki and Fryn were brought before a cadre of priestesses and the matron of Fryn's house. First, Elki was brought before the alter and made to kneel. The Matron demanded then that he repeat what he had claimed under the priestess's whips, and he repeated in slurred and hardly formed drow that he would forsake all gods but Lolth. He was hers.

Typically, Lolth can only make a drow into a drider. However, with Elki on his knees declaring his loyalty, that was close enough for Lolth to pull the strings and bring into being a slight against Elvin kind itself.

Elki was destroyed and remade in front of Fryn, and he could do nothing to stop it. Then, it was his turn. He fought tooth and nail the entire way, and he had to be held down as the rites were recited and his body broke and warped into the half-spider abomination that was a drider.

He expected for his mind to go fuzzy, then crazed with the want of blood and flesh. He knew all drivers to be nothing more than killing machines, aimless until reigned in by one of Lolth's own. However, when he staggered to his now many legs and tried to find a sense of balance, his world was as clear as ever, save for a seed of violence that he could feel growing.

When he went to Elki's side, no one stopped him. He helped his husband off the floor and looked into his eyes and found nothing there. No violence, no anger, no sorrow or haunting. Elki made a chittering noise and threw his now unnaturally long arms around Fryn's shoulders. The noise Elki made was one of happiness, and Fryn only had a growing horror.

Fryn was left with the violent urges of a drider while still maintaining his self and his mind. There was plenty that he could not remember, but he could think and be gentle as he pulled Elki along. Elki still did not have a mean bone in his body or plate in his carapace, but had lost himself to Lolth's curse. The Matron Mother mocked him as he told Elki how much he still loved him, and the hideous smile he got back was more than enough for Fryn to know that it really was Elki under there somewhere.

They were removed from the house, and from Menzobarrenzen, left to die in the tunnels and caverns of the Underdark. As he guided his love away from the city, the Matron Mother's last words to him wouldn't leave his mind.

"How long can you love it now, I wonder?"

[gguksgalaxy]

4:38pm | Minghao 1k

Fluff (very very slightly suggestive), requested by anonymous, request me here

info: I didn't have much in mind for this so I'm not really satisfied but I still hope that you like it!

Minghao’s apartment is quiet when you enter. That's how it seem at first. Upon further inspection, you can hear his shower running. His shoes by the door tell you that it indeed is him and not one of his roommates. Good. You’re looking for a quiet place to study, and your boyfriend was about the only person who knew how to actually be quiet when you asked. 

Or so you thought. 

About 30 minutes later he finds you sitting cross-legged at his living room table. Bent deeply over your anthropology book. He chuckles under his breath. Before you can even look up at him, you feel water drip onto the back of your neck. 

You squeal. “Minghao!” You look up to find him behind you with his hair still wet from the shower.

He laughs now, bending over you and closing your book. “I think that’s enough anthology for today.” 

“Anthropology,” you correct. “I have an exam in three days.” 

“And you’ve been studying non-stop for almost a week now. Enough is enough, babe.” He looks down at you, keeping his finger on top of your book in order to keep it closed. “You can argue with me, but I know you just reread the same paragraph 10 times and haven’t picked up a single thing.” 

You frown. “How long have you been watching me?” 

“Long enough to make tea,” he says, motioning towards the kitchen behind him. “Come on, you need a break. Didn’t you get up at six this morning?”

“Five,” you mumble in return. 

Your boyfriend fights the urge to roll his eyes and you push him back still. “Hey! Don’t shove me!” He steadies himself on your shoulders. “Listen, taking one evening away from that ancestry book of yours really won’t hurt anybody. Definitely not your poor boyfriend who’s feeling awfully neglected.” He gives you his version of puppy dog eyes. Big eyes, pursed lips, slightly raised eyebrows. It’s always a challenge and a plea. 

Today had been a long, tiring day. He had been right, about you staring at the page unable to read. Maybe he’s right about this too. Maybe you do need a night off. Just a bit of relaxation. 

“I can see the cogwheels turning in your pretty little head,” he muses. “I’ll get the tea.” 

“Hao,” you trail as he walks off. 

“I know, no sugar.” 

You chuckle. “Bring me something to eat.” 

He stops, shooting you a glare over your shoulder. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

“Uh,” you think, “do peanuts count?”

“I’m whooping your ass when I get back.” 

You’re still smiling at him when he comes back. “You know that you’re the best boyfriend ever, right?”

He sits down beside you, pulling you into his side and kissing the top of your year. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I won’t judge you for not eating.” 

You sigh. “Listen, I just forgot, and I was too lazy to find anything to eat on campus.” 

Minghao sighs, fingers absentmindedly carding through your hair. “I know you don’t want me to baby you but I’m seriously considering making you packed lunch.”

“I’ll be back to normal when exam season is over,” you shrug. 

He shakes his head, kissing your cheek again. “Just want you to take care of yourself.” 

You nod, leaning into him. He’s always been attentive, and he can get a bit aggressive about it when he wants you. Like, he will respect you when you want space, but he will also nag at you to take care of yourself until you do. Just a little. With a lot of love. He has made you realise that taking time off is important. It’s just that when you get stressed, you tend to forget. Which is why you’re so grateful to have him. 

He cuddles closer to you, leaning back against the couch. “So, what are we doing?”

“I don’t mind. You’re the neglected boyfriend, you pick an activity,” you tease.

Minghao is so beautiful like this. When he’s not trying. Not that he isn’t always, but there is something so ethereal about him when he’s not paying any mind to it himself. The slope of his jawline, the taunt stretch of his neck as he scans the room for something to do. 

“I mean…,” he trails off, looking back at you with a hint of mischief. You recognise that look all too well.

“No,” you deadpan. “I am way too tired for any of that.”

He laughs, nuzzling into your shoulder when you try to pull away from him. "I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I just showered.” 

You yawn, and in return, so does he. “If you can’t think of anything I will go back to reading my anthropology book.” 

Minghao whines, shaking you. “Anything but that stupid analogy book.”

“Stop mocking it!” 

“I will when it stops receiving more attention than me.” 

“You are such a baby sometimes!” you accuse mid laughter. 

He shrugs. “I like to accept and show all facets of my personality.”

“How philosophical of you good sir. Now please choose an activity or I will simply choose to nap on you.” You sprawl out in his lap, not really caring that you’re on the floor. His rug is much softer than his couch anyway. “You have literally 30 seconds before I pass out, I’m warning you.” 

Minghao groans, shifting your body and before you know it you’re hauled onto the couch. “Fine, nap, but not on the fucking floor.”

“I bet the floor’s seen less fucking than the couch,” you counter with one eye open.

He stops midway sliding in next to you, grimacing. “You have a fair point. Bed it is.” 

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