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justlovej2 · 4 years ago

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My J2 au fic recs

I thought it was time to make a list of some of my favorite j2 fics. This is au only. Not au coming next. Enjoy.

Absence from those we love

by mournthewicked

Word Count: 41,000

Link: https://users.livejournal.com/-mournthewicked/354607.html

Summary: Jensen Ackles led a great life. It just wasn’t the one he planned on. Now he’s newly single, stuck at a job he hates, and sharing an apartment with his lovably psychotic best friend. When he’s given the chance to go back and do it all over again, he leaps at it. Only he soon comes to realize that no matter what’s in front of him, it’s impossible to leave the past behind. Considering what he’d be giving up, he might not even want to. (17 again j2 style)

Like a music that holds my hands down

by saltandbyrne

Word Count: 22,891

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15310197

Summary: Perpetually-single pediatric dentist Jared lets his best friend Misha talk him into going to an anonymous BDSM party. Jared hooks up with a gorgeous stranger, but panics after their encounter and leaves before he can learn more about him. A year later, Jared is stunned to recognize Jensen Ackles as the father of one of his new patients and the guy from the best one-night stand of Jared’s life. With some encouragement from Jensen’s co-parent Danneel and Jared’s plucky office manager Genevieve, Jared realizes that he and Jensen might be perfect for each other after all.

Inked Verse

by non_timebo_mala

Word Count: 43,593

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/344780

Summary: Jared's been dying to get tattooed by renowned tattoo artist Jensen Ackles for ages. When he finally walks into the shop, he discovers he wants a lot more than just ink.

Gently play upon your heartstrings

by Cleflink

Word Count: 11,576

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032133

Summary: Jensen is the superstar lead singer of the world's hottest rock band and, as such, is totally not bitter about getting turned down by Jared fucking Padalecki. Too bad the guy manages the hotel that Jensen lives in and is incredibly difficult to ignore.

Superheroes suck, or, the unfortunately extraordinary life of Jensen Ackles

by Cleflink

Word Count: 33,055

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/468711

Summary: Jensen hates superheroes. Having grown up with not one, but two of them in the family, he's more than aware of just how much having a spandex-clad alter ego can cock up the rest of your life. Luckily, his own powers tend towards the more passive, hippie florist side of things which - while embarrassing - means that all that superhero crap is someone else's problem. Or it would, if not for the frequent interference of superhero-obsessed friends, hostage situations, hotshot new superheroes and irritating relatives. Not to mention a boyfriend who has the uncanny ability to go missing whenever bad things are going down somewhere else in the city. Sometimes, Jensen's life is kind of bullshit.

The beat of our noisy hearts

by Cleflink

Word Count: 47,890

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909642

Summary: In a world where heartbreak is a literal condition, it's Jared's job to sew, fill and patch the physical wounds left in people's hearts by lost loves, misunderstandings and betrayals. Jared's own love life is more than a little dire, largely because Jensen doesn't date and Jared doesn't do one-night stands, but he's got good friends and a job he loves, so he figures that he can't complain too much. When a killer attacks Jensen, Jared discovers that a needle and thread, desperation and a sharp scalpel are enough to save Jensen's life, but at a cost that is going to change Jared's life forever and tie them both together in a way that goes far deeper than flesh.

And the rest, as they say, is history

by Raina_at

Word Count: 17,728

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15012887

Summary: Struggling actor Jensen takes a job as big-shot movie star Jared Padalecki’s dogsitter. And the rest, as they say, is history.

A different kind of team building

by ashtraythief

Word Count: 8,924

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24683401

Summary: Jensen is a facts and graphs kind of guy; he never should have started working at a hipster California startup. His boss is insane, everybody’s wearing beanies, and Jared, the tall and cute head creative designer, thinks Jensen is too stuck up to work at One Tree Solutions. And now they’re going on a company retreat. But when the sleeping arrangements don’t work out as planned, Jensen realizes that maybe he didn’t have all the facts after all.

Hustle & Heart

by righteousbros

Word Count: 16,819

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143701

Summary: Jensen is the star quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers and he lives and breathes the game of football. Then at a charity signing event he runs into Jared, his former teammate and his former flame. It's been years since they've spoken, but Jensen hasn't been able to let the feelings he has for Jared go. To complicate matters, Jared is on the brink of a major decision that will change his life and the history of the sport forever. Now Jensen has to decide if he has the courage to speak up and claim his chance at happiness too.

Cuffs

by TwoBoys2Love

Word Count: 87,156

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1283929

Summary: Detective Ackles gets a new partner who may be a bit of a challenge. They have different views about everything. Ackles picks up some work on a new case that reveals his partner's secret and dredges up the past.

The American Bachelor

by dugindeep (hotsauce)

Word Count: 21,415

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1774633

Summary: Jensen Ackles is the first openly gay president, but that's the least of his worries. He's battling the press on his continued international trips to keep the peace, he has a 12-year-old to raise on his own, and he's trying to make something happen with the hot florist he just met. Jared Padalecki, on the other hand, is trying to not go insane at the prospect that the country's most eligible bachelor, and the world's most powerful man, is trying to woo him.

Splintering in slow motion

by cyndrarae

Word Count: 30,881

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7526416

Summary: Jared has been fighting the ‘darkness’ for as long as he can remember, until he can’t, or doesn’t want to anymore. He decides to treat himself to one final weekend of fun before laying down his arms, so to speak. The last thing he expects is a gatecrasher, someone who might derail his best-laid plans for good.

Apocalypse: Cancelled

by jeyhawk

Word Count: 28,000

Link: https://jeyhawk-fic.livejournal.com/62095.html

Summary: July 7, 2008 at 2 a.m. in the morning a comet will hit Earth, destroying all human life. Humanity gets 54 hours to prepare and chaos ensues. A chance encounter has straight architect Jared Padalecki saving the life of deeply closeted movie star Jensen Ackles. The unlikely couple cling to each other during what they think will be their last days on earth, but what happens to the relationship they built when the world doesn't end after all?

Slowly, with each touch and each kiss

by whisperedstory

Word Count: 24,136

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21607546

Summary: When Jensen starts coming to JD's, the cocktail bar where Jared works, Jared is instantly interested in him. What starts out as a one-night stand quickly becomes a casual arrangement that Jared could easily see turning into more. But Jensen isn't looking for something serious and Jared would rather settle for being friends with benefits than not having Jensen in his life at all.

Baby, it’s cold outside

by Merenwen76

Word Count: 35,245

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22177129

Summary: Christmas is the best time of the year for Jared. But this time he's caught in a blizzard. With his boss, of all people. - Jensen Ackles This one not only hates Christmas but is also extremely hot.

A song in the stars

by strive2bhappy

Word Count: 39,813

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11224314

Summary: Jared Padalecki has dreamed of taking to the skies since he was five-years-old. When he becomes an adult and builds a spaceship of his own, he gets to do just that, looking for adventure -- little did he know the adventure waiting for him. Jensen Ackles is born part human, part Terryn and his life as an outcast is difficult -- music is his only real escape. When he's captured by the Dominion, an organization hell-bent on taking over every galaxy in every way they can, he's used as a lab experiment to see how his special, combined heritage can be advantageous for them. Fleeing Dominion control, he vows to himself, they will never find him again. A chance meeting between Jared and Jensen helps both of them get what they're looking for -- and the way things end up, it may have been more than just chance. From various planets throughout different galaxies, to nights under the stars in space, Jared and Jensen find in each other something worth fighting -- and possibly dying -- for.

#j2 fics #j2 au fic recs #j2 fic rec #au only

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dishearteningmediocrity · 4 years ago

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From Picturegoer Weekly, July 29, 1933

Transcript follows:

“The Woman Who Thrilled Me, by Colin Clive”

In an interview with John Gliddon

It has become a Hollywood habit to send an urgent message to Colin Clive asking him to jump on the next boat for a rush journey to Los Angeles.

It has happened once a year since his first spectacular dash to Universal City to play his original part of Captain Stanhope in Journey’s End.

Now Colin is wise in the ways of Hollywood and has become an expert at packing his bags and leaving England at less than twenty-four hours’ notice; he packed in a hurry to star in Frankenstein: he did it again when Hollywood wanted him as Katharine Hepburn’s leading man in Christopher Strong.

That time he had two big thrills--meeting Katharine Hepburn, the Star Who Can Act, and finding out at first hand what it feels like to be in a Hollywood earthquake.

Let’s hear what Colin has to say about the Hepburn thrill before the earthquake is staged; but let me warn you about one thing. Colin Clive is one of those grand fellows who Hates Being Interviewed; he thinks going to the dentist is much better fun.

Maybe he is right. When I explained to him that we might just as well have a chat about Hollywood and not call it an interview, he brightened up a whole lot and ordered another drink.

Said Colin Clive in enthusiastic tones: “Katharine Hepburn is a grand girl. She is certainly different. There is nobody quite like her in Hollywood--or anywhere else, for that matter. What is her appeal? Certainly not beauty; she isn’t beautiful in the least, yet she has a magnetic personality and terrific vitality.”

“Katharine has got something bigger than beauty; she has got brains and above all things she is an actress, to her finger-tips.

“She is not just--a face, but a great personality. I said just now that she is not beautiful; that is true, though she understands the art of acting so amazingly that she can convey the illusion of beauty if the situation demands it.

“When you get to know Katharine Hepburn you are impressed by her natural intelligence. She can talk; I don’t mean chatter the usual Hollywood gossip, but talk like the intelligent woman she is about interesting things that happen in the bigger world beyond the Hollywood circle.

“Few stars talk interestingly on any topic--except themselves, but Katharine Hepburn is the delightful exception.

“On the set, I was impressed by her powers of tremendous concentration. She likes to rehearse, and rehearse until she feels the scene is right, even though her director may be quite satisfied by the scene as it stands.

“No, she always seems to strive after perfection in her acting.

“I have never known a star to be as painstaking as Miss Hepburn.

“In Christopher Strong, we both had the novel experience of being directed by a woman--Dorothy Arzner.

“Miss Arzner is a clever technician, but it seemed a bit queer, at first, being told what to do--by a woman!

“I got used to it after awhile, though another thing that struck me as a bit strange, until I got over the shock, was that Dorothy Arzner never lost her temper. I suppose she leaves that privilege to the male directors. She is very reserved, very gentle, very clever, and she is an ‘ace’ for angles.”

When shooting on Christopher Strong finished, a bank crash hit Hollywood, and nobody was allowed to draw out any money.

Colin wanted to return home. He took his cheques to the bank, but the banks were closed, and he had to wait until they were re-opened. He waited a few weeks and was getting tired of kicking his heels round Hollywood when the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studio snapped him up for Service, the screen version of Dodie Smith’s play of shop life.

The only bright spot in those weeks of waiting for the banks to resume business were some happy week-ends with Elizabeth Allan and husband Bill O’Bryan.

This young couple have made a hit with Hollywood.

Then he told me about that other big thrill--the earthquake.

“I was sitting in my hotel room writing to Jeanne (Jeanne de Casalis, Mrs. Colin Clive), when suddenly the radio started to screech and the lights flickered. Then I heard a rumble, the house quivered, my books came tumbling down, and great cracks appeared on the ceiling.

“I rushed downstairs and out into the street. There was tremendous excitement. People looked scared. Two girls fainted just in front of me. For a few moments there was panic.

“Then, though it seemed longer at the time, a few seconds later it was all over. There followed a series of small shocks but I wasn’t taking any chances and went back to my room and stood in the archway of the open door. That is the safest place I was told to stand when an earthquake is on.

“Coming home, I dreamt about that ‘quake and woke up in my cabin, having forgotten I was safely at sea, and jumped out of bed to stand in the archway of the cabin.

“Then I woke up--properly, and realized it was only a dream. You see, they are nasty things--earthquakes!

I gave Colin Clive a minute or two to get the impression of that earthquake out of his mind before asking him to talk about two other interesting members of the cast of Service, Lionel Barrymore and Lewis Stone.

“I have never met an actor with less personal pride than Lionel Barrymore,” he told me. “He is an extraordinarily well-read and intelligent man. When he talks it is always about something worth while, though I think he likes sleeping better than anything else.

“I have seen Lionel Barrymore enjoying a sound sleep in his chair at the side of the ‘set,’ yet the instant his cue comes he is wide awake and ready for the ‘shot.’

“Lewis Stone is another very delightful man; in fact he is one of the nicest men I have ever met. Reserved, cultured, charming and courteous to everybody, he certainly seems to know all there is to know about picture acting, yet, with all his experience, he never questions his director, or make suggestions of his own about how the scene should be played.

“Lewis Stone always does what he is told, and how well he does it!

“It was certainly an interesting experience, playing in Service with such splendid actors as Lionel Barrymore and Lewis Stone, though--what pleased me most of all--was the knowledge that ‘Liz’ Allan is regarded as one of the most promising of all Hollywood’s younger stars.

“It’s a grand break for an English girl to win personal popularity in Hollywood. But ‘Liz’ Allan seems everybody’s favourite.”

At the end of Service, James Whale offered Colin Clive the leading part in The Invisible Man, but as it meant waiting two months for the picture to begin, Clive felt he could not accept, though the part appealed to him as being “down his street.”

Colin Clive gets a kick out of playing parts like his grim role in Frankenstein; he certainly does not see himself as a leading man or a romantic lover. He wants the strong stuff.

When Colin Clive is home in England you will have to look for him right in the heart of the country.

Somewhere in Kent, he and Jeanne de Casalis have a small cottage where they spend as much time as possible, winter or summer.

“I have no use for parties,” Colin said to me, “I never go to them, and the only life I really enjoy is away from London, pottering about in the garden at the cottage.

“I suppose it may sound a bit queer for a fellow to say that there is no spot on the earth to compare with England when you want the joy of the simple life. Well, I have yet to discover anything better than English country life.”

That is a true portrait of Colin Clive, the star Hollywood always wants--in a hurry.

#Colin Clive #Katharine Hepburn #1933 #Dorothy Arzner #Christoper Strong #Looking Forward #interview

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dynamightsfave · 4 years ago

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Hidden talent - Luke Patterson

(gif not mine! credits to owner)

AU: alive! luke patterson x oc

summary: in a world were none of the boys have died and instead live in the same timeline as julie, luke’s girlfriend has a hidden talent only her mother knows about

warnings: slight cursing, nothing much

a/n: this is the first thing that i publish, and i’m still trying to figure out how tumblr works, so if anyone reads this, please bear with me people

masterlist

***

Heather had been friends with Alex since they were in diapers. Every memory of her childhood she had, he was there too, since the beginning. The only ones she had he wasn’t in were the ones at family meetings. He was even there when she went to the dentist! That’s how tight these two were.

So it was kind of inevitable her meeting his band. Sunset Curve had been all he and Julie —her other best friend, along with Flynn— could talk about since they had started it. They had met the other members in the music program, something Heather had never even thought about joining, regardless of how many times her mother had told her she had an incredible voice and should definitely let the world listen to it. However, the raven haired girl preferred to keep her voice to herself, like her small little secret.

Meeting Luke and Reggie —she already knew Bobby— was easily one of the best things that could’ve happened to her. She hit it off with them instantly, as she had never really had any trouble with making friends —she was the sociable one out of the Heather-Alex duo, and the mom friend out of the “Triple Trouble” trio. Her and Flynn had denominated themselves as the band’s managers and marketing team, and the others had to admit, they were doing a pretty good job.

While Flynn took the social media part, promoting the band on every platform she could think of and posting stuff like teases of new songs, short rehearsal videos and performance dates and places; Heather had taken the people approach. She had recruited her cousin, Willie —who she suspected only wanted to help her because he had a massive crush on Alex, and not because he “wanted to help his favorite cousin”—, and they had both skated the streets of LA, putting up posters and throwing them around, telling people to “tell their friends!”, a catch phrase Reggie had come up with.

[...]

“I got us a night at The Hollywood Club!” Heather entered the Molina garage with a proud smile and arms on the air, getting immediate cheers “I know, I know, I’m awesome” she bowed.

“Hey, I was there too” Willie pushed her aside, leaving his skate on a corner and plopping on the piano seat “In fact, if it wasn’t for Caleb owing me one, you wouldn’t have gotten that gig. I’m his messenger boy”

“Okay, listen you little shit, it was me that had to offer herself to clean the place up after the show, so I don’t wanna hear any more lies coming out from you” she narrowed her eyes at her cousin, but the skater only rolled his eyes.

Luke, beaming, reached out to Heather’s arm, pulling her onto the couch with him. The two had been dating for nearly three months, and anyone that didn’t know that could’ve thought they’d been together for years, just by seeing how deeply they cared for each other. Alex had been a tad overprotective of the girl when Luke started to flirt with her, but Julie and Flynn made him realize that if anyone could match Heather’s adventurous and forward personality, it was Luke.

Heather came up with an idea, something to do, and most people —including Alex, who over the years earned experience in this kind of things— would disregard it immediately, because it sounded, and most likely was, crazy. Not Luke. Luke would just smile and do it with her. Hype her up even. They found in each other a safe to talk, the craziest ideas and dreams coming to life. Still, they knew when to draw the line, and realize that maybe cliff diving in the middle of November wasn’t the best thing to do.

Luke liked to get the things he planned, make them real, and with Heather he felt like it was possible. Sure, he had the band to make his music dreams come true, but —and this can come out as shocking— he wasn’t just music. There were so many other things he wanted, and Heather was the first person that encouraged him to let them all out, the first person that listened to all the things he wasn’t as good at but he still liked, and forced him to get out of the studio to do them.

They were basically perfect for each other.

“Besides,” Flynn had pointed out with a teasing smirk and a knowing look that was also in Julie’s eyes “you’re going to end up dating her cousin, so it’ll be fair in no time” Alex had left that conversation blushing like a fool and with his mind a little more at peace.

“You’re incredible, babe” the lead guitarist kissed her cheek “When is it?”

“This Friday night” she answered, making herself comfortable in his arms “That gives you two days to rehearse some songs, maybe even come up with a new one. How’s my musical genius doing with that, Jules?”

“We have a few lyrics left on Finally Free, but I’m sure that we can have it done and perfected by Friday” she smiled, showing her adorable tooth gap “I’m gonna need to borrow your boyfriend for that, though”

“Sure, two musical geniuses work better than one. Meanwhile, Reggie and I have a date”

“Huh?” Luke’s head turned so fast, Heather thought for a second it would snap from his neck.

“Yeah, we’re going to watch the last Star Wars movie. We told you guys to come and you didn’t wanna, so we’re going by ourselves” Reggie could barely contain his excitement, the smile on his face making it impossible for Heather not to copy him.

“Speaking of which... if we don’t leave now, we’ll be late. Let’s go!” the girl pecked her boyfriend as a goodbye, ruffling Bobby’s hair after and blew a kiss to both girls and her best friend.

“I don’t get a kiss?” Willie pouted, but Heather only kissed her middle finger and flipped him off “Love you too, cuz!” he called, but Reggie and her were already out and the only response he got was his light laugh.

[...]

The two friends were meeting Carrie Wilson at the theatre. Nobody would’ve guessed that the lead of Dirty Candy liked Star Wars, but Heather had known her since kindergarten, and she knew the girl.

They all technically knew her, being Bobby’s fraternal twin and all, but the boys didn’t consider her an actual friend until the girls started inviting her to their hang outs, seeing as they were all friends. Luke and her often had friendly bickering of which band was better, Reggie discovered that she could be a wonderful addition to the mischievous duo Heather and him had formed, and Alex found his perfect dance partner one night playing Just Dance. It was safe to say that she had been welcomed into the group.

“You guys are playing at The Hollywood Club?!” was the first thing he strawberry blond said when they arrived.

“Tell your friends!” Reggie winked, then turned to Heather “Damn, Flynn is fast. We have good managers”

“That you do, Reg” she passed her arm over his shoulders. It was a little awkward, because she stood on her tippy toes, but they made it work.

“Can you get me a performance too?” Carrie pouted and made puppy eyes “I need a marketing team like yours”

“C’mon Care, it’s literally my cousin and I in his skate and my roller skates and Flynn with a phone and Wi-Fi. You could do that too” Heather waved it off “Plus, you can have daddy make a call and you’ll be able to play at the Madison Square Garden. Shit, we could do that too, we have Bobby. Why am I putting so much effort into this?”

“You know I’m trying to earn my own spot, Heath. Being famous because my dad isn’t as satisfying as knowing I made a place sold out because they liked me and not the daughter of Trevor Wilson”

“You’re doing great, Carrie” Reggie encouraged “Your songs are good, and your dance moves are killer. People don’t just go to your shows to see if they can meet your dad”

“Thanks Reggie, but I’m pretty sure you only go to my shows to see Kayla” she smirked, and both girls watched their friend flush red.

“T-That’s not true!”

“Really? I guess I won’t give her your number then; she’ll be real disappointed”

“She asked for my number?”

But Carrie just chuckled and walked ahead with Heather by the arm, leaving the gaping boy behind for a few seconds before he snapped back into the real world and chased after them, asking the same question again.

“I’ll see what I can do for ya” Heather smiled “But you’ll have to fight Luke by yourself when he finds out I’m helping our rivals” she finished in a dark tone, laughing along with Carrie.

“Yes! You’re the best Heath!” she squeezed her in her arms.

[...]

Friday arrived sooner than planned, and that left Flynn and Heather to get the band’s asses to the place. Flynn was on the phone with Caleb, assuring him that they were just stuck in traffic and they’d be there soon. They were actually trying to calm Alex down.

“Hey, look at me. Bird, look at me” Heather had her hands on his shoulders, doing her best to get him to breathe with her “You’re the best drummer I know-”

“I’m the only drummer you know, Feathers!” the anxious boy stressed.

“You’re the best drummer I know!” she exclaimed over him “This isn’t any different from our other gigs. You’re gonna get up on that club’s stage, and you’re gonna kill it. I’m gonna be on the side of the stage like I always am, with Flynn. I’m there if you need anything, which you won’t because once you get into the song, you’ll be crazy amazing”

“Okay, I can do this” he nodded to himself, taking deep breaths along his best friend.

“Hell yeah you can” she laughed softly “You good?”

“Yeah, I think so”

“Great, then let’s go people! We have an audience to impress!” the others, behind them, cheered with her and started to go to Ray’s van, were the instruments were waiting.

“Hey” Alex took a hold of Heather’s wrist “Thanks, Feathers” he smiled at her, using the nickname he gave her when they were three.

“I’m always gonna be there for you, Alex. You know that. I’m the Feathers to your Bird, we’re a package deal” she smiled back, then wrapped her arms around him “I love you”

“I love you too”

[...]

Alex did amazing. Obviously.

The whole band was incredible, and the people in the club absolutely loved them. Heather had stayed at the side of the stage like she promised, but from where she stood she could spot Flynn with Carrie, Willie, Nick and Kayla all jamming and moving their bodies along to the song in their chairs. She clapped and hollered once the show was over, a huge smile adorning her face.

“You were right” the man himself, Caleb, clapped next to her “They are really good”

“I told you, dude. Any chance we’re able to play here again?”

“I’ll call you” he offered, and Heather didn’t think it twice before shaking hands with him “I’m closing in half an hour, and I want this place spotless for tomorrow” he smirked.

“I thought you were joking! You have people for that”

“A deal is a deal” and he left. Heather groaned and threw her head back.

“Why the frown, Princess?” at the voice of her boyfriend, the smile was back on her face.

Luke was a sweaty mess, not that she cared. She took a couple of seconds to admire his “after show” glow. Because yes, he was glowing —both literally, because sweat, and figuratively. After every performance, there was a glow to all of them, pure happiness radiating from them. You could see it in their smiles and heavy breaths, but Heather liked to see how their eyes glinted with the ecstasy of doing what they loved. It appeared while they were on stage, and it stayed for some time after performing in front of an audience. When they were rehearsing or jamming in the studio it was more relaxed, content, but on a show it was almost magical.

“What are you looking at?” Luke laughed after drinking some water, with his eyes squinting as he smiled out of pure glee.

Heather too his sweaty face in her hands and planted a firm kiss on his lips. She had never cared if the boy was sweaty and therefore by hugging or kissing him she’d get all dirty and smelly. If she wanted to show him affection, then she would.

“You guys killed it up there” she told him after a moment with a proud smile “Amazing, baby”

“Thanks, Heaths. Sang that solo for you” he added with a smirk, hand slipping around her waist.

“I saw” she answered as she passed her arms over his shoulders and around his neck “You looked really good while doing it too” the smirk widened and the hold tightened, bringing her closer to him to kiss her again.

“Take your lovey dovey acts somewhere else!” Bobby booed, nearing his friends.

“Hey, just because your sorry ass is alone doesn’t mean you have to hate on us” the raven haired girl replied with a teasing smile.

The boy scrunched his face and mocked her, which went back and forth between the two until Heather’s teasing and playful smile turned to a excited one.

“Wait! Oh, she’s looking again!” confused, the rhythm guitarist went to look behind him, but Heather shot her hand to stop him “Don’t look! Not yet... Okay now. See that pretty blond? She’s been eyeing you all night, dude!”

“For real? You think I should go talk to her?”

“Are you stupid? Of course you should go talk to her, did you not hear what I just said? Wait, here, clean some of this sweat” she took a towel and dabbed it over him, then pushed him forward when he didn’t move “Move, Bobs!”

“Thanks Heaths!”

The couple watched their friend jog over to the girl and introduce himself, saying something that she found funny. “I’m an amazing wing woman”

[...]

The club was officially closed. After a couple of Caleb’s songs, that Heather had danced to with Flynn —more like they made a fool of themselves, but at least they had fun— and then she helped them put their instruments back in the van. Now, she held a mope in her hands, swinging aimlessly from side to side, humming to the band’s songs.

“I believe, I believe that we’re just one dream...” she picked up the pace of the song, closing her eyes as she jumped on top of a chair, spinning on her spot and using the mope as a micro “And we’re standing on the edge of great!”

The girl continued to sing her heart out, unaware of the pair of eyes that followed her very movement, watching the private show she put up for herself. When she finished the song, she let out a content sigh and a small chuckle.

“Woah” the word escaped Luke’s mouth before he could stop himself, causing Heather to jump and turn around.

The boy stood just by the entrance, an awestruck expression on his face. Red flushed Heather’s face, and she opened her mouth to stutter out something, but Luke didn’t let her, taking long strides to her.

“Heather, that was incredible! Why didn’t you tell us you could sing like that?”

“I usually like to keep the singing to myself, when I jam with you guys it’s quiet”

“Babe, you could be the lead singer of Sunset Curve! I’ll retire if that means you get to show everyone your voice”

“No” she quickly dismissed “Do not give up your dreams, Luke Patterson, you’re not allowed to do that. Not for me, not for anyone”

“But, Heath, your voice!” Luke was making big gestures, trying to get his point through.

He couldn’t understand how his girlfriend didn’t let anyone know of her huge talent. When he walked inside of the club again to help her, he couldn’t have imagined the scene that was playing in front of him, how she looked so carefree. She sounded like a goddess. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

“I don’t like to be in the spotlight, Luke” she explained “You guys were born to perform in front of people, but I like to keep it behind closed doors. You understand that, right?” she took his hands, looking up at him through her lashes. He sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, I get it. But I really hope it’s not the last time I hear you sing” Heather laughed and shook his head, as Luke’s face lit up with an idea “Oh! You could perform for all of us in the studio! You’re cool with that, right?”

“I’ll sing with you and perform with you at the studio” she agreed, squealing when he picked her up and twirled her around “But you have to promise that if you guys record it, it won’t end up on social media”

“Of course, anything you need” he nodded quickly, bringing her lips to his “If I get to hear that voice again, I’ll even sell my guitar”

“I told you not to joke with that!” she chastised, hitting him on the chest and getting out of his hold. She rolled her eyes at his laughter and smirked to herself, handing him a piece of cloth “Make yourself useful and clean those tables, Rockstar”

Luke frowned, but complied.

He made her sing along with him in his car all the way back to his house, and suddenly realized that he had been an idiot for a long time. Why hadn’t he made her sing with him before? It was his new favorite thing to do.

#jatp #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #julie molina #willie jatp #carrie wilson #sunset curve #willex #charlie gillespie #owen joyner #jeremy shada #netflix #au #julie and the phantoms imagine #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson imagine #madison reyes

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graceslavenderhaze · 4 years ago

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haunted {connor stevens}

synopsis: connor knows your soul and you know his.

authors note:

friends to lovers? fuck yes! forbidden love? hell yes! ‘no one gets me like you’? double hell yes! ‘we balance each other out because we’re exact opposites?’ triple yes!

also readers outfits are high key inspired by the iconic julie molina bc she’s a style queen.

fem! reader because request asked for a female reader, usually i write gender neutral unless specified.

i threw another jatp easter egg bc we haven’t gotten a renewal and i am on the borderline of becoming feral.

also this is going to be split into two parts for maximum angst and fluff purposes.

Your parents were always hard on you. Tough love was their specialty, as one would say. So they had certain expectations for you. They wanted the best for you. So there were rules to make sure you always did the best. No going out late on school nights. No slacking off in school. No disobeying.

However any adult who had ever been a teenager should’ve know that challenging authority is a coming of age tradition. You snuck out on school nights for midnight society meetings. You managed to keep good grades in school while being involved in a few clubs to look good for college applications. And for your parents sake you’d managed to be obedient almost all of high school. The ‘perfect girl next door’.

But it was all bullshit. The only person who ever managed to see through it was Connor Stevens. There never was an odder pairing to walk the halls of shadow bay high school than the two of you. He rocked the classic ‘dark and distressed’ aesthetic. He was on the wrestling team and was popular. He was a natural born risk taker and ignored everything that had a warning sign.

You on the other hand were everything Connor wasn’t. You clashed standing next to him with the bright colors you usually wore in your daily outfits and bracelets that adorned your wrists. You were in the environmental club, art club and theatre. You weren’t popular is the same sense Connor was, sure people knew your name but you were nice to everyone so it was a given that no one forgot the girl who gave out lollipops on valentines day so no one felt left out. You strayed away from trouble and gave distance to warning signs.

You met Connor through Hanna, well sort of, she was in environmental club with you and eventually talked to the midnight society about accepting a new member, you. Everyone knew of with you ,except Connor. He swore he’d heard your name before but he couldn’t put a face to that name at all. So he’d hung around after one of your environmental club meetings with the intention of bumping into Hanna and her introducing him to you. But the day he’d hung around Hanna had a dentist appointment and not knowing anything about Connor’s plan whatsoever, he was left in the dark.

September, sophomore year

Connors eyes skimmed over the crowd of various classmates but he failed to find his red headed friend, his lack of subtlety gave him away. You were walking with your friends Carrie and Kayla. When you noticed the lanky boy dressed in all black. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You said to your friends as you parted ways. Once Connor noticed you he tried his best to look as if he wasn’t spying.

“Hey.” You introduced yourself playing with the strap of your backpack as your looked at your classmate who was currently leaning against a tree. He turned acting as if he hadn’t been caught by you. “Hi. I was just.. hanging around.” He said brushing several fallen leaves off of his jacket that had fallen from the light fall breeze that had started to roll in.

You nodded, “You totally weren’t spying or anything like that right?” You crossed your arms in front of you. His face went slightly red with embarrassment before he started to stutter. “N-no. I was waiting for Hanna.” He said with composure.

You laughed dipping your head down for a second before looking up at him again. “She had a dentist appointment today.” His face drops flat. You tilt your head. “I knew that.” He rebuttal quickly.

“You’re Connor right?” You asked. “You’ve heard of me?” He asked with confidence. “Oh yeah, Hanna talks about her friends a lot. Luke, the mr. perfect, Gabby, the smartest girl she knows, Jai, the comic book nerd that everyone loves and Connor, the lanky stalker.” You said with a satisfied smile.

“I’m not a stalker.” He defended himself. You nodded. “I’m Y/n and I’m not a stalker either.” You said with a wink before you walked away. Connor smiled to himself before pulling out his phone and clicking the messages app.

October, sophomore year

You laid on your bed, clad in your costume aimlessly scrolling through your instagram feed. Your parents had given you a sun down curfew and due to daylight savings it was dark by six. Halloween was your favorite holiday and you felt like a prisoner in your own house. It wasn’t fair, you followed their rules and were in turn met with more rules and restrictions.

You sat up sighing, you had been so excited about this night for weeks. Hearing rustling at your window you stand up and cross towards it. Startled slightly when you see Connor there in his ghost face costume. You opened your window leaning against the frame.

“What are you doing still inside its halloween!” He said with excitement, like a kid in the candy store. If anyone loved halloween more than you, Connor came neck and neck. “I’m aware it’s halloween and keep your voice down.” You said to him looking back at your bedroom door listening for your parents footsteps before turning your attention back to Connor.

“Are you grounded?” He asked with a hint of confusion in his voice as to why you would be grounded. You didn’t answer, which only egged him on. “What’d you do?” He scoffed almost not believing you had it in you to do anything bad. You cross your arms sitting back against the windowsill. He noticed your mood change.

“Hey, you can tell me what’s wrong you know.” He said gently, no longer mocking or teasing. He laid his hand on top of yours his thumb stroking back and forth. “I didn’t do anything. I do everything they ask of me and it’s never good enough. They gave me a sun down curfew.” You said to him making sure your volume stayed low in fear of alerting your parents you weren’t alone.

Connors eyebrows furrowed, “The sun went down at six. Seth has a later curfew than you.” He joked as he let out a laugh but once he noticed that you weren’t amused he stopped. “Sorry.” You let out a frustrated groan, “ I get perfect grades, I act like the perfect daughter that they want at my own expense, I sacrifice my own personality for them and its never enough.” You said looking out at the sky that had a full moon.

Connor sat there in the full moonlight. Your colorful bracelets were discarded, your smile that always was on your face was gone, your eyes were slightly teary eyed, and looking slightly past you saw your room. your doors had artwork and posters on the back but the rest of the room was calm.

“I think you’re enough. I know you’re enough.” He said in almost a whisper but even if he said it any louder no one else would hear other than the stars and the moon. Your attention turned back to him. “You’re just saying that.” You said looking down at your lap. He placed a finger under your chin and lifted your head back up so your gaze was back on him.

“No i’m not. I’ll say it everyday until you start to believe it if i have to.” He said looking in your eyes. “I really want to kiss you. Is that okay?” Your voice was so quiet that if Connor wasn’t so close he probably wouldn’t have heard it. He smiled, “Yeah, that’s okay.” You leaned in and closed the gap between the two of you. Through all of this Connors hand was still enveloped over yours. Breaking apart with huge smiles you both giggled.

“C’mon, we have halloween plans and your parents are asleep on the couch downstairs.” He said standing up and outstretching his hand to you. You hesitated, you’d never snuck out before. “You trust me right?” He said. “Duh.” You said.

Turning around you grabbed a jacket then, went into your desk drawer grabbing your array of colorful bracelets and hastily putting them on. Turning around Connor still had a hand outstretched for you as you slipped your shoes on. Climbing through your window and regrettably, looking down.

“Have you never snuck out before?” Connor said concerned about the way you were looking at the ground. You turned your head and shook it. He nodded. “I got you.” He grabbed your hands and lead you along the incline of the roof. Turning around so he could climb down. “It’s okay.” He said before climbing down leaving you up alone. You swallowed hard, was it too late to go back inside?

“Okay, swing your legs over the ledge.” He said in a hushed tone. You hesitated for a second before slowly moving over the ledge. “There you go!” Eventually you got your legs steadily over the ledge. “Okay so place your right foot right there and then turn around and place your left foot parallel.” Your fear filled eyes met Connors. “I’m right here.” At a turtle speed you started to shift down the shaft. Slipping once or twice and white knuckle gripping the side of the shaft.

“Are you okay?” You swallowed. “Is it easier getting up than down?” You asked. “Much.” He said bluntly coming closer to make sure you’d be okay if you slipped. “Thank fuck.” You nervously laughed. “Okay now just go down one at a time.” He said standing at the bottom ready to catch you when you got to the bottom.

“There’s no more.” You said after your foot slipped. “Yeah now you jump.” He said. “You said nothing about jumping.” You argued. “You’re a foot and a half off the ground, i’ll catch you. I promise.” He said. You turned looking down. “Do i just let go?” You said hesitantly, part of you wishes you stayed in your bedroom. But part of you is glad you didn’t.

“Yeah. I’m gonna put my hands on your waist, is that okay?” He asked looking up at you. “Whatever gets me on the ground faster.” You said as you felt his hands fall onto your waist. After a few moments you loosened your grip on the shaft and then completely let go putting all your trust into Connor.

Falling into his chest and your feet plant onto the ground your eyes stay shut as a reflex. Once you were still you opened them, turning around you looked at Connor who had a hard time reading your face. You started laughing. “I just snuck out. With a boy. That i kissed! My heart is racing!” You said taking Connors hand and placing it against your chest. He smiled looking at you.

present day

“You are blowing things out of proportion.” You said to your mother as you were practically prison marched into your house. She scoffed at you. “Oh i’m blowing things out of proportion! What have we talked about and instilled into you your whole life?” She said rhetorically, she didn’t want an answer but you had one granted she wouldn’t like it. Your dad stood by the door silently as if you’d make a run for it.

“To do everything and anything to be perfect regardless of who you have to destroy even if you destroy yourself!” You exclaimed crossing your arms. If your parents wanted to play manipulation games you could too, after all you were their daughter.

“We break our backs to give you amazing opportunities and this is how you repay us? Lying and going behind our backs? Like an ungrateful brat!” Your father finally spoke up. You were never ungrateful for those opportunities, you just wanted to be a normal kid and when you were with your friends you felt like one.

“I never said i was ungrateful! I just want to be a normal teenager, hang out with my friends and be myself! You guys have made me disregard all mentions of who i am for the sake of this nuclear family image that you so desperately want to achieve.” You said spilling out years of emotions. You hadn’t known how long they’d been in there. Bubbling over and just poisoning your happiness.

“You just want to hang out with that trashy shawn hunter wannabe!” Your mother exclaimed about Connor. Low blow to an already low battle. “This has nothing to do with Connor and he’s actually a really great person! The only person who seems to care about the real me.” You exclaimed. Your parents were slack jawed.

“You are to never hang out with that boy again, do you understand us?” Your father said coldly. You were taken aback. Your heart had sunken to your stomach. “We forbid it.” Your mother added on. “You forbid it?” You scoffed.

“Do you understand?” Your father asked again. You crossed your fingers behind your back. “Crystal clear.” As you turned to go upstairs to your bedroom tears of anger and frustration filled your eyes. Opening your bedroom door and closing it shut. You looked at your window, you were already in trouble. What’s a little more? Shooting Connor a text you then climbed out your window. Connor was right, it did get easier the more you did it.

After a sneaking around to his house being quick to avoid anyone who you knew would tell your parents about seeing you, you made it there in the average fifteen minutes it usually took to get to his house. “You look like you need a hug.” He immediately after opening the door pulling you into his awaiting arms. You wrapped your arms around his torso. You pulled away and he gently grabbed your chin a sad look washed over his face. “You’ve been crying.” His tone wasn’t questioning it was more of a matter of a factual.

Your silence only proved what he thought. “Please just talk to me, i hate seeing you upset.” You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you’d even inhaled. He grabbed your hand and lead you to his couch for you both to sit down. He threaded his fingers and yours together, a habit both of you developed during the time you’d started dating.

“My parents found out about everything and now they’re forbidding me from seeing you.” You said with a bitter tone in your voice, through the whole year you’d managed to keep everything up. Your grades, your attendance in the clubs, and anything else that tied to your limbs pulling you like the puppet your parents treated you as. “Did you sneak out to see me?” He said with a smirk.

“Possibly.” You said quickly biting down a smile causing him to lean in and steal a quick kiss.

“Wow i’ve really corrupted you.” He whispered, up close you noticed the eyebags from the lack of sleep, his room had light shining that was brighter than usual, and a quick look into the kitchen when you first walked in showed freshly brewed coffee. “Are you okay?” You asked. You could tell the gears in his head were turning at half speed.

“I’m always okay when you’re around.” He said slyly. You didn’t wanna pry but he looked exhausted. “Did you sleep last night? Like at all?” You said softly. He looked down. “Con, what’s going on.” He thought for a moment about telling you but he couldn’t. He’d be putting you in direct danger, offering you straight to the shadowman. So he did what he did best to protect those he cared best about, he pushed away.

“Why do you care?” He said swallowing harshly, protecting you was breaking his own heart in the process in a way he thinks might not be fixable. You were taken aback. “”Because i love you, i have since halloween.” The pieces that broke? Yeah they just shattered into more pieces, those pieces all loved you fully.

“Your parents are right, i’m not good for you.” He had to hold his own tears back before continuing. “You shouldn’t be here.” You had tears welling up in your eyes for the second time that evening. Both your broken hearts were breaking and you had no idea where this was coming from.

“I don’t want to lose you, i don’t want to lose this.” There had been numerous times during your relationship where you and Connor swore that you were soulmates. There was no word for explaining it, it was just this immense feeling that was mutual and overtaking. Like a wave that constantly crashed over you both every time you saw the other smile.

“Someday, i hope you’ll forgive me.” He said with his own tears going down his face, and you nodded. Nothing lasts forever. No matter how much you want it to. You stood up and his heartbroken eyes followed you as if you were the sun constantly orbiting. You went for the door.

“Wait!” His voice beckoned, you turned. His arm outstretched holding out a jacket for you. “Here, take my coat.” You had no fight inside of you. You took it.

“I’m not your girlfriend anymore you don’t have to.” He cut you off. “It’s an old one from sophomore year, i have a new one. Plus its freezing outside and we both know you look better in that than i do.” He rambled before stopping himself. You nodded and slipped the jacket onto yourself which loosely hung off your figure. He gave you a tight smile. You noticed from the zippers that it was the one he was wearing when you first met and kissed. That was salt in a fresh wound.

You both stood there, he couldn’t turn back now and you couldn’t know what would happen in the coming week. Neither of you wanted to say goodbye. So you didn’t, you went to the door without saying anything else to him. Then, he just stood there watching. When the door closed he inhaled.

His lights flickered and he realized he was running out of time. He had to get the cottage and do the ritual before it was too late for him. But he was already out of time.

#are you afraid of the dark #are you afraid of the dark imagine #ayaotd #ayaotd imagine #connor stevens #connor stevens imagine #gabby lewis #hanna romero #luke mccoy #jai malyas #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagine #grace writes

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lancetuckershairgel · 5 years ago

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Words: 1,507

Warnings: none

Tag List: @book-dragon-13 @jobean12-blog @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @buckysforeverprincess @marvelgirl7 @mycupoffanfictionreplies @brat-in-a-teacup @bonkybarnes107 @yelenasbarnes @msruchita @southernbell91 @jhangelface0523 @godofplumsandthunder

"Do you have a big house? Do you have a dog? What about all my clothes and toys at the other house I was at? When can Lucy come stay with us? Can we get ice cream?"

Lily asked a million questions as she sat in her booster seat in the back of Chris' truck. The newly appointed guardian just chuckled and tried his best to answer each one. He had a decent sized house, not very big but not small either. He didn't have a dog. He had arranged for the Michaels to bring all of Lily's things to her later that night. They would pick Lucy up in the morning and ice cream sounded like a perfect treat to celebrate.

Little did Chris know that the sheriff had put in a call to the judge, his uncle, on behalf of Chris. The man never doubted Chris' ability to take on the girls, but he knew all too well how the justice system worked so he put in a good word and a bit of encouragement to the judge. Now Chris had a very excited little girl kicking her legs against the seat of the truck as he drove off.

Sure, he was thrilled to have been given custody of both girls but he was also nervous about the way his life was now changed. This wasn't a job anymore, he couldn't just give advice to a kid and leave them at the end of the day. No, he was now essentially a parent and responsible for raising two girls who needed more than just a home. Lily had speech therapy and the judge had ordered that in exchange for Lucy's early release she attend counseling and anger management classes, much to the teenager's disgruntlement. On top of that there was homework, dentist appointments, outbursts, tantrums, and healing to do. Chris was already getting overwhelmed just thinking about it all.

"Hey Chris?" Lily asked

"Yeah?" He peered at her in the rearview mirror

"What's custody mean?"

"Well" Chris scratched his beard, trying to think of the best way to explain to a five year old "It means that you and your sister get to live with me and I take care of you."

"We can live with you forever?"

"Well, not forever. You're going to be grown up one day and have your own house."

"Are you our dad now?" Lily asked

"Something like that."

"Yay!"

Chris smiled as he pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot.

---

"Hey Lucy!" Julie said as she sat down at the table Lucy sat at in the common room "You've had a busy week, I heard."

"Yeah seems so"

"Here, I got you something." Julie slid a can of soda across the table with a smile "Congrats on your placement, kiddo."

"Thanks" Lucy returned a small smile and took the soda, popping the tab and taking a sip "Tomorrow can't come fast enough."

"I know you're excited."

"I wouldn't say excited, but I'm ready to be out of here."

"Are you going to a foster home?"

"No, just some guys place."

"Some guy?" Julie raised an eyebrow

"Oh.." Lucy laughed slightly at the confusion "He's a good guy, a cop. He got custody of my sister and I."

"Is it the man that visits you?"

"That's the one."

"He seems really nice."

"He's okay."

Julie nodded, knowing that she wouldn't get much more out of Lucy about her feelings on the situation. They played a game of Uno before it was dinner time and then Lucy began to go through the trunk of personal items she was allowed to have. She was given a black garbage bag to put her things in and she rummaged through everything, placing item by item inside until she got to the remains of Mr Snow. She felt anger and sadness boil inside her and she slammed the trunk closed. She returned the extra pairs of center issued sweats and tshirts then turned in for the night. Sleep evaded her, her mind wandering through all the possibilities of what living with Chris would be like.

The next morning Chris and Lily stood just outside the gates, waiting for Lucy to be released. Lily grew impatient and tugged on Chris' hand.

"When is her coming? I can't see!"

"Calm down, I got you." Chris laughed and lifted Lily onto his shoulders "That better?"

"Yeah! Now where's my sissy!"

"Patience, little one" Chris shook his head and Lily crossed her arms over top of it and rested her chin and sighed

It wasn't long before the gate buzzed and Lucy walked out of the door.

"There she is! Lemme down lemme down!"

Chris put Lily on the ground and watched as the two sisters ran toward each other. Lucy dropped to her knees and gathered Lily into her arms, hugging her tight.

"I missed you I missed you I missed you!" Lily cried as she clung to her sister

"I missed you too, Punk."

Lucy picked Lily up and grabbed the black trash bag before walking over to Chris.

"Hey, Luc-"

Chris was cut short when Lucy trusted the bag at his chest and walked past him to the parking lot.

"Hey Chris, it's great to see you,thanks for springing me from jail. I owe you one" Chris muttered mockingly under his breath as he followed the girls

Once inside the truck Chris thought he'd try again.

"Lucy, you hungry?"

"Nah, prison slop fills me right up."

"I thought we'd go to the buffet but if you're full…" Chris smirked

"What's a buffet?" both girls asked at the same time and he looked at both of them with raised eyebrows

"Oh you poor things."

Chris drove them into town and stopped at the restaurant. Upon paying, Chris handed the girls their plates and pointed to the buffet lines.

"Go crazy. It's all you can eat, just don't make yourselves sick and puke in my truck."

Lucy looked around, a little perplexed as she made her way down the line. Everything looked so good and her poor stomach growled with hunger. She began loading her plate up with everything she could fit.

"OH. MY. GOSH." Lily squealed and she grabbed Chris' hand, pulling him to the dessert line "WHAT IS THAT?!"

"Shhh." Chris scooped Lily into his arms so that she could get a better view and ignored the looks some customers were giving the loud girl "Inside voice okay? That's a chocolate fountain."

"I want it I want it I want it!" Lily whispered excitedly

Chris laughed and grabbed a skewer then a piece of strawberry. He helped Lily dip it into the running chocolate and watched her happily eat it as they walked around picking what to put on her plate.

---

"So, what did you girls think of the restaurant?" Chris asked as they all got back into the truck

"I want to go there every day!" Lily exclaimed

"My stomach hurts." Lucy grumbled

"I told you not to over do it." Chris smiled as he pulled out of the parking lot "And we can't go every day, Sweetheart, but we can go back again soon."

Lily seemed satisfied with that deal. The ride home was quiet, with just the radio playing softly. Chris didn't want to push Lucy to talk to him, and Lily was busy looking out the window as they made their way to their new home. Once they arrived, Chris helped Lily out of the truck and headed toward the door. Lucy got out of the truck and stood for a minute, looking at the structure before her. It was a simple ranch house, with a fence around the small yard, and a view of the mountains in the back. Lucy grabbed her bag and made her way through the front door.

"Welcome home" Chris said softly as she entered the small foyer

It didn't feel like home to her but she didn't want to tell Chris that. She just gave him a nod and walked past him and into the living room. A beige couch lined the back wall and there was a TV on an entertainment center with not much else in the room.

"Would you like a tour?"

"I think I can figure it out." Lucy replied a bit more bitterly than she had intended

"Okay...if you need anything just let me know. I'll let you get settled but I want to talk later."

"Great." Lucy muttered

She left the room and began to look for the bedroom that would be hers. She entered one bedroom and immediately determined that it was Lily's. A small bed was lined with stuffed animals and there were Barbie posters on the wall. Lucy closed the door and went into the next room. Inside she found a bed with a grey striped comforter, a dresser, a desk, and something that made Lucy stop in her tracks.

"This must be mine." Lucy said aloud as she looked at the white saucer chair.

#safe haven #fan fiction #fanfic #sebastian stan #destroyer!chris

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thewayiremember · 5 years ago

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youtube

EPISODE 3

July 7, 09:50 AM

All packed up. I checked twice if I hadn’t forgotten anything but I'm sure by the time I get home I’ll notice that I hadn’t, of course, packed everything. Happens every time. I just hope it’s something I won’t miss. To not my surprise at all, my blood test results are fine, so my mom can pick me up a bit earlier than we planned. Luckily for her, because that way she won’t be late for work.

As much as I’m eager to leave this place and hopefully not be back any time soon, I have to admit I’ll be very curious about Nathaniel’s recovery. I hope he wakes up soon and goes to Australia just like he wanted. We were friends while one of us was unconscious, would we still be friends if we got to know each other? Would Bobbie and Nicole like him?

I already have two friends and I think that’s plenty. Sometimes, when the three of us are not together and I discuss something with one of them, I need to have the same kind of conversation with the other one the next day. It’s a waste of time. But who am I trying to fool? Friendship is not really what I have in mind, is it?

And yet I felt like leaving him something as a gift would be a nice gesture. I thought for a while what it could be, but since I didn’t have that many things to give away in the first place, I grabbed my notebook and a pencil and put it on his bedside table. I asked my mom to buy it for me when I decided to start writing this journal, but I quickly figured that a laptop and a phone are a lot more convenient. I left him a note saying it’s a gift for keeping me company and that dr. Gramm says that visualizing your thoughts helps with the way your brain works. I didn’t write down my name. Take care, buddy.

11:15 AM

“There’s leftover spaghetti in the fridge if you’re hungry,” said my mom, before she left for work. I microwaved it immediately after she closed the door. It’s good. Hospital food wasn’t that bad, but I missed something with fat.

I’m very proud of myself that before I wound up in hospital I had this unexpected urge to clean up this room. I can’t imagine coming back now to its usual form, which is just like everybody else’s room, but upside down. It’s a little dusty, but hey, dust never bothered me anyway. I also already wasted water on taking a bath, making sure I’m a big part of climate change. And people say I’m irresponsible. I’m responsible for global warming! Checkmate.

Okay, I need a plan. Bobbie and Nicole are coming in less than an hour and I still haven’t told them about anything and I don’t know how to do that without making a big deal out of it. My face looks roughed up but I swear it’s not as bad as it seems. On a logical level, of course, I know it’s a big deal for them. They’re my friends, obviously, they care. And yet every time they do care and they do worry it makes me furious. And one thing I know is that I can’t control my emotions and I tend to be very hard to stand in those moments.

Bobbie and I have known each other since 1st grade and he is my best friend. He’s the most beautiful and kind-hearted soul on this planet. How on earth does he put up with me? I have no idea. I don’t think he has one corrupted molecule in his body, which I’m pretty impressed by after all that time he spends with me. He’s very understanding and I know I don’t have to worry about him pressuring me into something I don’t want to do. Like remembering, for example.

Nicole, on the other hand, I can already hear saying “If you don’t find out what happened, I will.”. I have to ask her if she realizes how dramatic she really is sometimes. But it is my body and my memory, Nicole. You don’t have to always be adventurous Mrs. Smith who must solve the case shooting the UMP-45 all the time. She hasn’t said it yet and I’m already mad.

THE PLAN:

Open the door like nothing’s happened. Like my face isn’t purple at all. “Hi, guys! Long time no see! What have you been up to? I need to know everything! *then I point at my face and say* What, this? That’s nothing, not even worried about it. The doctors said “Ian, you have nothing to be stressed out about, you are perfectly fine. And you tell your friends when you’re finally reunited that everything’s good, thus they shall not worry. And doctors know better so you can’t argue.”

Stop turning everything into not-funny jokes, sit down with them, and acknowledge the fact that they simply want to know what happened. You’re adults, you can handle talking about emotions, without being emotional.

Now go find some snacks before your guests arrive, like a good host you are.

1:10 PM

This journal is slowly becoming like some influencers’ Twitter account, where they can’t go on with their lives without updating what’s going on every 5 minutes. Well, this is the closest I will ever get to feeling like a celebrity, so let me shine.

Dear Diary, I just wanted to update you, that nothing went according to my very simple plan. I know! How could anybody mess it up? Well, I’ll tell you all about it when I’m done hiding in the bathroom and contain my very human emotions. Talk to You later! Oh, and I promise I will never call you a Diary again.

8:30 PM

They already knew what happened because they came to visit earlier that day. Apparently, they wanted to surprise me in the morning but of course, I wasn’t home and my mom was the one who opened the door. She had no way of knowing I hadn't told them, but she had the opportunity to confess to me. In the car for example. I’m not upset with her, but I am upset with myself for acting like a child and not just telling them. Like every normal person would do. The goal was to not make a big deal out of it, and I made it the complete opposite.

“You say it’s nothing serious, yet you lost a part of your memory. Sounds like a pretty serious injury to me,” said Nicole, and I could tell she was being suspicious of my truthfulness. And she was correct since I’m still not sure I want them to know about the part when I travel in time. Again, I want to be a dentist, not an actor. I’m not that good at lying.

“Look, Nicole, please don’t try and make me all freak out. Can we just talk about your trip? How was camping?” I tried to change the subject.

“But don’t you want to know who did this to you?” she wouldn’t give up.

“No, to be honest, I don’t. I’m glad I don’t remember. Do you know why? Cowardice. I’m scared, Nicole. I’m not you, I don’t usually face fear, you know that. It’s easier to move on that way, I can’t cope with nightmares that I’m pretty sure would occur the second I remember.”

And that’s true, I am a coward. And although I know that everybody deals with their problems they’re own way and not everybody has to be brave or be the hero in the story and that there’s nothing shameful about it, sometimes I do wish I were a little more like Nick. She gets things done. She doesn’t run. I mean, she does, she gets her scholarship from running, but she doesn’t run away from her problems. She solves them. Just like that.

I’m spending the night at Bobbie’s. Like most of the summer nights, probably. And if I’m not at Bobbie’s, Bobby’s at mine. Some things never change. It’s not as easy for Nicole, because she doesn’t live just across the street as we do from each other, so she went home. I’m finishing the last French toast we made earlier as I’m waiting for Bobbie to get out of the shower, so I could go. What’s taking him so long?

11:50 PM

I woke up looking at Bobbie’s concerned face. He came back to the room and found me already asleep, but it was still early for him so he just lied down and started reading. He noticed I was acting weird but didn’t interfere at first. Not until I woke up screaming.

“Are you ok? Who’s Nora?” he asked.

“I… don’t know,” I lied to my friend yet again.

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maekkelae · 4 years ago

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A brief summary of touring Europe in times of the pandemic

I made it. I didn't seriously believe it could work even halfway through. Too predictable were cancellations, in fact the majority of shows towards mid-autumn have been pretty much in question. I knew then and I'm still aware that touring amidst a pandemic is most certainly not among the most sensible things one should do. A lot of, if not most of my fellow touring artist friends decided for good reason to stay home. I do respect this and I absolutely understand it too. I've been thinking a lot about things like responsibility before setting out. About the dangers for me, audiences and promoters too. There were difficulties likely to face especially with crossing borders. Too many borders to make it a task realistically to be mastered. I think I wrote in here before what it means to me to play shows. It's not only a job to make a living, this is an important part of it, sure, but an equally important thing to me is telling stories, singing my songs and — this might sound a bit mad — making people feel something, change something in their hearts, their minds. And it keeps me from going mad. Something I have to admit didn't work particularly well during the time of the first, strict lockdown in spring when there was no chance to play a concert. I've been touring a lot over the past years. I think it's safe to say an average of 150 shows a year. I wouldn't have done that without serious reasons. If a routine like this comes to an immediate halt this feels like I imagine it must feel like stopping a vehicle going 300 KMH down to zero in a split second. It has a strong physical effect. Or at least it had on me. I felt mentally and physically terrible in any imaginable way. Never thought it could be like that, never thought I'd need it that much. By June/July I more or less decided for myself I'd bloody do that tour if there'd be the smallest chance it could work. Even if it was for just half of the shows. I just don't want to fall into that big black hole again. Everybody has to decide this for him or herself, I was to at least give it a try. If things went pear-shaped I'd have to deal with it. If I was to end up in hospital — not good but damn, you can't escape your destiny anyway. It doesn't make a big difference whether you pick up your infection in a supermarket, a tram or a concert. Or a hospital. I'm not ignoring the virus, I'm not one of them twats to deny it. I'm afraid of it, like a lot of other people are, and I was worried throughout the whole journey. At the same time it was the most intense thing I experienced in terms of touring. Been asking myself after every show if this had been the last one. Last on this tour. Or the very last one. But believe me, I'm more than glad I decided to do it. This will remain one of the things I'll always remember. Halle in Germany had been cancelled. A lovely little venue there and right on my way to Warsaw. Had to change plans which later turned out to be what I was quite occupied with all along the way. Left a day later than planned and booked a cheap room for a night in Görlitz, a small-town bordering Poland thus cutting short the good nine hours drive to Warsaw to bearable driving stints. As also the show in Biala Podlaska wasn't possible due to the town being in a yellow zone I stayed in Warsaw for three days. As I had been a bit disappointed about the Polish capital on my last year's tour this was a chance to possibly discover it's hidden beauty. And guess what — it was worthwhile. 15/09/20 GER-Halle, Cafe Ludwig CANCELED/POSTPONED 17/09/20 PL-Warsaw, La Boheme 18/09/20 PL-Biala Podlaska CANCELED/POSTPONED 19/09/20 PL-Warsaw, Ada Pulawska 20/09/20 PL-Krakow CANCELED/POSTPONED When the Krakow show turned out to also not happening — this one not due to Covid — it was an easy decision to move on to Wroclaw. I fell in love with the city when I played there last year. It's among the nicest, most interesting places in Europe. Three nights there I reckoned would get me enough rest for the long distance rides coming. This is talking European long distance. Not Canadian... But things started to pick up speed once I was there. Received a message from Jozef, the promoter in Trnava, Slovakia, to double-check if my border crossing are going to work out as there are new regulations in Slovakia. By that time I still had a show booked in Prague on Friday, 25th September. For several reasons that particular one meant a lot to me. But: Slovakia decided to declare Czech Republic a risk area. This meant once I was in Czech Republic for the Prague show I'd have had to quarantine after re-entering Slovakia. That would have meant cancelling my concert in Trnava, Slovakia. One of the places that confirmed the date very early this year to make sure I'd be really coming. A good place run by a dear friend. No way to not play it. Well, that was the situation on 21st September. So with a heavy heart I cancelled Prague to make sure I could make it to Trnava. Thanks to my mate Dasa Fon Flasa I got a replacement show for 25th in Banska Bystrica. They added me to the line-up. Two death-trash-metal-whatever-core bands plus me. I'm fine with shows like that, or like Dasa says, “at the end of the day we're all punk rockers, aren't we?“. Few hours later both bands cancelled. Alright, so then it's just me. Another couple of hours later the Trnava show had to be cancelled. The town became a red alert zone in Slovakia. Even though it was already set to a private event it became impossible to do it. 22/09/20 PL-Wroclaw, Piesniarze 23/09/20 SK-Bratislava, Cyclo Kuchyna 24/09/20 SK-Zilina, Hajovna 25/09/20 CZ-Prague, Proti Proudu CANCELED/POSTPONED 25/09/20 SK-Banska Bystrica, Bosorka At the Banska Bystrica gig, which was possibly the nicest I played in this town so far, I met Miro. He surprised me a lot with telling me he came to see the show because of particular songs. “Lily Of The West“ was one, the others I don't remember. Doesn't happen too often. After the show he asked me about my plans for the next days. Nothing special actually. Saturday show cancelled, so probably trying to find a place to stay. That's how I got into the wooded hills near Zvolen. Miro and his family living there middle of nowhere in an old farmhouse, self-sufficient, mostly cut off from system and society. He asked me whether I'd be up for playing a house show for him and his family. I did it. It was one of the most rewarding and intense things in a long time. Maybe some day I'll write more about it. Maybe. 26/09/20 SK-Trnava, Archa CANCELED/POSTPONED 26/09/20 SK- somewhere Hangin out two days in Moravia. One night in red zone Uherske Hradiste, a second night in not so very red zone Brno (from a Czech point of view). Waiting to pick up my mate Pavel Cingl at Brno station who'll join in on violin for the Czech dates. So far my experience with all the shows is: everybody, almost everywhere is absolutely aware of the situation. No wild parties. People behave in a most responsible way. I've got a feel most European governments love to exaggerate about how devastating the situation is and point their finger first thing at all the neighbouring countries. Of course this is a big mess. And yes, no one should underestimate the threat, but being there myself I actually don't think people are not giving a fuck. 29/09/20 CZ-Brno, Jazz bar U kouřícího králíka Enjoyable show in Brno. Thanks Pavla. How come this works in Jazz venues now? That's a new thing. Word reaches me Linz in Austria and Prien in Germany are cancelled. Predictable. But France seem to still be mostly fine with the shows even though being rated a red area by the Germans. Same with Spanish Basque country, which is in fact rated a high risk area by Germany. What's that then? Dark red? Mega red? Deep purple? Either way, the cancellations will let me leave Czechia, do the mandatory covid test in Bavaria, quarantine until receiving the — ideally — negative result and move on towards France. Oh – and I urgently need a negative result as I need to see the dentists before leaving Germany. Since Zilina I've got a painful, bad cheek tooth. 30/09/20 CZ-Prague, Parukářka 01/10/20 CZ-Tabor, Tabook 9 02/10/20 CZ-Milevsko, Domeček Šrot 03/10/20 CZ-Semanovice, Nostalgicka Mys Now after five excellent shows in Czechia with Pavel on violin, highlighted by the last one in the small village of Semanovice this seems to become a race against the pandemic or rather it's side effects, the shutdowns, lockdowns and curfews Europe will have to face or already does. Sunday after our last show I met the The Spermbirds guys for a cuppa whom we shared a show with on this tour in Tabor. They're one of the most exciting groups you can currently hear in Prague but from this very Monday — that's tomorrow — there won't be shows for them over here for the next four weeks coming. And that's just the start of it as it looks like. Germany seems to be still more relaxed due to lower infection rates but that's just a matter of weeks, maybe days. No reply from Saint-Romans, my first French show. Assuming it's not going to happen. 06/10/20 AT-Linz, Kapu CANCELED/POSTPONED 07/10/20 D-Prien, Piraten Pub CANCELED/POSTPONED Test result arrives Wednesday afternoon (8th October), seeing the dentists midday 9th and leaving for Basel in the afternoon to stay over at friends making it one third of the distance down to Tarbes. Switzerland by this time still OK. At least for travelling through. The forty CHF parking ticket is a bit annoying though. My Basque friends get in touch. Two shows cancelled, but one extra booked. So we're still good here. They want to know if I'm really coming. Yes. I am. 09/10/20 F-Saint-Romans, Association le Fair'ailleurs CANCELED/POSTPONED Sunday's show in Basque country also cancelled on short notice. One of the venue guys tested positive. Shite. We're down to three now. I'm on my way, so no use in a change of plan. I knew beforehand it wasn't going to be an easy one. So — fuck it. I'm still lucky I can do what I can do best and love most. Gotta keep moving on. 10/10/20 F-Tarbes, Celtic Pub Great show. Fantastic evening. I love JL's Celtic Pub Is Not A Pub. Name as crazy as the man. I love this. Checking the latest covid restrictions in Europe. My fave website these days is https://reopen.europa.eu and the Spanish seem to let me in. So far so good. First rumours the Czech are going to close down their borders. The shit is definitely, seriously preparing to hit the fan. 11/10/20 E-Azkoitia, Matadeixe CANCELED/POSTPONED 13/10/20 F-Lartzabale, tba. CANCELED/POSTPONED 14/10/20 E-Bilbao, Bira Kultur Gunea 16/10/20 E-Ataun, Oargi 17/10/20 E-Itziar, Burugorri Gainean

Safe to say these were three fantastic shows I had the chance to share with Eneritz Furyak. A great, young Basque singer-songwriter. Two sold out, one almost. Amazing audiences. I instantly fell in love with the attitude of these people. New homeland discovered. Eneritz and her boyfriend Mono recorded/filmed my version of „And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda“ on one of the off-days, had the opportunity do a little live appearance on Basque radio and last but not least saw a fantastic concert of a Basque band in a bullring. That was a debut. Never seen a bullring in real. Impressive scenery. As for now it still looks like Toulouse is going to happen It's a bit of a drive from Hendaye to Perpignan where I'm playing next. Distance wise it doesn't make a big difference whether you go through Spain or France. As I haven't been to that north-western part of Catalonia I thought it a good idea. Beautiful landscape, book a cheap room in Lleida, spend the night, relax, just a short drive the next day. Lovely idea but I'd have better checked my favourite website. On arriving in Lleida I ask the lady at the reception where I could possibly go for dinner. Erm... nowhere. We're under lockdown here. All bars and restaurants closed, if you're lucky a coffee to go. Supermarkets are open til nine. I'm having a walk through town in search of a supermarket. This is a town under wartime conditions. That's what it feels like. In bigger squares I see big white tents, covid test centres. This, as they tell me, goes for all Catalonia. Monday morning I'm setting out for Perpignan. Almost no traffic. Passing by towns and places I learned to love over the past years. Banyoles, Girona, Figueres, Darnius... Stopping in La Jonquera to fill up the van and buy a couple of canisters of olive oil. Warm welcome in Perpignan by Lionel and Vanessa. Good friends who are going to host me until Wednesday if the Toulouse show will not be cancelled, until Thursday if necessary. Things seem to be still comparably normal down here. And yes, the show will take place. Leila's L'Escalibar. She's a great, tough, wonderful person. I'm glad this time the show can happen. Last year, touring by train, there was no way to make it here. Severe thunderstorms had literally flushed away the rail tracks then. Monday evening it doesn't look very good for Toulouse, on Tuesday we know there won't be a show in Toulouse. They closed down the city. 20/10/20 F-Perpignan, L'Escalibar 21/10/20 F-Toulouse, La Cave A Rock CANCELED/POSTPONED Leaving Perpignan after a good show on Tuesday and a pleasant off-day hanging out with my hosts and an enjoyable walk in the hills around Céret. Driving up to Saintes for the night, half the way to Rennes. En route news reaches me Chateaubriant, my Saturday show, is cancelled. By now nine major cities in France issued strict curfews for an indefinite time. This means my Lyon show in late November is cancelled as well. Brittany still mostly fine for now but time's running out there too. Still hoping for the Nantes gig to happen next Wednesday, 28th October. 23/10/20 F-Rennes, Bar La Ruche Things going wild now. The show at La Ruche is not only the last one before strict curfew rules will apply starting midnight. It's also the last ever show Aurelie will host here as she'll quit after this evening. Place is packed, people go nuts and so is Aurelie. A fantastic evening and a last goodbye to Bar La Ruche. As the Saturday show is cancelled I gladly accept my friend Francois' offer to come to Avranches, Normandy to spend the night and do a house show at his place early Sunday evening. 24/10/20 F-Chateaubriant, La Charrue CANCELED/POSTPONED By Sunday morning it becomes a fact that Nantes is also cancelled. I get in touch with Meghane in Besancon to let her know I can't play the Friday show at Les Passagers du Zinc. No point in hangin out in France for a whole week. Only option would be to reschedule the gig to Wednesday. Makes sense as Besancon is right on my way back to Germany. Let's do it she writes and I love her for this. 25/10/20 F-Avranches, House Show Leaving for Paris to spend two days at a friends place. It's a ghost town. 28/10/20 F-Nantes, La Scene Michelet CANCELED/POSTPONED 28/10/20 F-Besancon, Les Passagers du Zinc 30/10/20 F-Besancon, Les Passagers du Zinc RESCHEDULED Now this is the final one. As it looks like for quite some time. Few days ago I read the Czech closed their borders again and I'm afraid others will consider this the ultima ratio as well. Sold out tonight. As most of you know this simply means the maximum number of people allowed by authorities due to current rules has booked seats. Doesn't mean packed. It's another last show. Last for Les Passagers du Zinc as from tomorrow on there'll be strict curfew rules in effect here. Last for me as all November shows in Europe are cancelled and the same is more than likely to happen in December.

#Maekkelae #Mäkkelä #tour 2020 #corona and artists #tour diary #covid_19

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emisonme · 8 years ago

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Here we go again..................

That MTV interview with the photographer was a well written piece of propaganda for "Bare with me", basically saying that love is love, and it is beautiful in all forms. The stuff about Lauren and Lucy was all propaganda to prop up the narrative.

The photographer and the wardrobe lady were only saying what they were advised to say. LIES! (though the wardrobe lady decided to fuck the narrative a bit with the "sisterly and maternal connection") Management did the same thing with DWTS. Val was advised to lie about when and where he had his first meet up with Normani for DWTS. They had been rehearsing for days before that Houston Rodeo, yet they wanted to push the narrative to the general public that the girls were in on the surprise, and helped introduce Mani to her dance partner. Why? To show how much they support her decision to do her own thing.

My point is, they (management) have no problem getting outside forces, other than the girls, to help sell their narrative. The ladies who did that photo-shoot with Lauren and Lucy are no different. Why have the photographer say what she said? They needed someone, other than Lauren or Lucy, to confirm that Laucy was real, to prove that Camren wasn't. That one interview killed three birds with one stone. It confirmed Laucy, destroyed Camren, then destroyed Laucy, all at the same damn time. Brilliant actually.

Why did they need to confirm Laucy, and do so in a way that spans a few years? A few reasons really. Lauren was tired of being stuck in the public closet. She was ready to be herself, and to come out as "a proud Cuban American Bisexual woman". She couldn't do that, because it would basically confirm Camren. The Label's are not ready for Camila to be considered anything but "straight" for her career.

People keep asking, even though I have explained it before, why it's OK for Lauren to come out, but not Camila. Again, Bisexuality is more accepted in the Music Industry than Homosexuality is. They convinced Camila, and maybe more so her mother, that if she wanted a lasting career in the music business, she had to be "straight", and mention boys every time she opens her mouth. For a girl who used to stomp her feet and curse under her breath every time she was asked about boys, we have been hearing the word "boys" come out of her mouth, at least three times in every damn interview since she went solo. It's a promo trick. They want to pound into our heads that "Mila likes boys". I recognize the trick, that's why I'm not buying it.

So, Lauren needed a prop to come out, that could be believable and take the emphasis off of Camila and Camren. Who better, than her already out Bisexual best friend. It's not the first time someone famous has used their BFF to come out, and it won't be the last.

Let's do a little timeline..................................................................................

If my memory serves me correctly, Lauren and Camila were both "separately single" in the beginning of 2015. I believe it was around June of that year, when they really started publicly pushing Laucy in our direction. Interestingly enough, that's also the same month they started to push a possible Shawmila romance at us.

They weren't confirming Shawmila, but they weren't denying it either. They just sat back and let the fans do their thing, to promote the duet. Then after a while and song success, it was decided to put an end to the Shawmila rumors and say "just friends". No worries. With the demise of Shawmila, they began ramping up Laucy. They also began ramping up the "tension" between Camila and the girls. They needed to kill Camren 1) before Lauren came out, and 2) before they announced Camila's departure.

That brings us into 2016 and the 7/27 era. Last year, Lauren couldn't turn around without bumping heads with Lucy. She was everywhere Lauren was. London in May. Brazil in June. A few different stops on the North American leg of the tour. Lauren literally couldn't sneeze, that Lucy wasn't right there to wipe her nose.

It went both ways. They had Lauren spending almost all of her free time in NOLA with Lucy as well. The very private Lauren, the same girl who can travel the world's airports without anyone knowing she's there, never failed to let it be publicly know that she was in NOLA with Lucy.

Then it was off to Europe. October was an emotional month for all of the girls. Camila was publicly separated from them, and all of the girls were an emotional mess, but they never failed to put on a good show. After a little over a month, they got to finally come home, just in time for Halloween.

I don't know about you, but if I had just spent a month away from my girlfriend, my first stop after arriving home, would have been her bed, not California for a few days to play dress-up with friends. Maybe that's just me.

November was also a very busy month. They had to cram quite a bit into Novermber, before Thanksgiving and the Jingle Ball tour. Lauren had to go to a family wedding and pose for a kiss pic with Lucy, so it could be "leaked" (released for the public to see).

A few days later, Camila is at the dentist and snaps that she has seen all the hoopla over the kiss pic, and that she regrets logging on. She then is outside and she shoots out a tweet of a pic of her and a dinosaur, with the caption, "cuffing season" then another one that said "please believe me" Then they all go to the Epic party, where I'm pretty sure Camila is the one to find out, December 18 will be her final show with the girls. I know this all happened the same day, because she was wearing the same clothes.

Then just a few days later, Lauren officially comes out, in a long ass Trump rant in Billboard Magazine. After that rant is published, we find out that Lauren and Lucy are doing some kind of photo-shoot together. On November 20, the girls go to the AMA's. We got some cute Camren moments. Lauren had to stop herself from putting her hand around Camila's neck. It was funny.

That brings us to December. The Jingle Ball tour starts and 'Back To Me" is released. Lauren, sometime, does a live chat with Marian Hill, where she sort of addresses her Bisexuality, but says nothing about the kiss pic or a relationship with Lucy. We get to the Dec. 18 Miami Jingle Ball performance. In the very early hours of Dec 19, Management shoots out a ridiculous message to the masses announcing Camila's official departure from Fifth Harmony, to pursue a solo career. Then we are blessed with that whole cluster fuck back and forth, between Management. (must have been awkward criticizing themselves)

Merry Christmas! Who wasn't expecting a Christmas pic of Laucy? We've all seen the picture. Apparently there is more than one way to view it. Laucy shippers see a nice moment with a loving couple. I don't see it that way, at all. I see Lauren's thin lipped forced smile, her glassy eyes, and her stance, and my first thought was "she'd rather be cuddling a cactus." I mean, come on. She looks like she'd rather be getting shark piss shot up her nose with a three foot needle, than posing for that pic...but I digress.

Happy New Year! Camila heads off to Cancun for some fun in the sun, and Lauren heads off to Lake Tahoe for some fun in the snow. She poses for a snowy night pic with Lucy, a bottle of Champaign, and an ugly ass piñata. She parties with some friends, does a live performance with Marian Hill, then falls off the face of the earth. I'm pretty sure I know where she went, but anyways. She reappears at LAX a few days later, takes a pic to prove she was there, then off again.

5H do their PCA performance, on January 18, just before that is Lucy's Birthday. January 11, is the first time there is even a hint to Laucy by Lauren. She writes out a B-day message to her, basically saying how happy she is to have Lucy in her life, and addresses her as "My Love". WTF! Oh wait. If calling Lucy "My Love" in a birthday message means she fucking her, she must have also fucked Ally somewhere along the line, because she called her the same damn thing, in a birthday message.

That brings us to the Women's March on Jan.21. Lauren and Lucy were at the same March, only they weren't together. Uh oh, trouble in Paradise? (how are people actually falling for this shit) Rumors start flying that Lauren cheated on Lucy at the PCA's. REALLY!!! Is that the best you could come up with? What, did Lauren whisper "My Love" to a stage hand and get lucky. Jesus Christ!

Then it's Camila's turn to do press. She does an interview were she is asked if she has had any contact with the girls since her departure. She says "No! I tried. It's to sad to talk about." move on. The girls also refuse to discuss her when asked. OMG! The girls hate Camila. Camila loves the girls. How can Camren be a thing, if they aren't even talking? Everything's a damn mess! ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE ALL THE BULLSHIT!!!!!

To bring it full circle, Now we are back to the hilarious happenings of the last couple of days. They released the photo's from the photo-shoot first. The Laucy shippers were on cloud nine, and completely full of themselves. I'll admit, they were some nice pics. Lauren looked fantastic. Then they released the interview, and the Laucy shippers got gut punched.

The photographer, from a 4 month old photo-shoot, does an MTV News interview about Laucy. A fucking photographer "confirms" that Lauren and Lucy were in an on again off again relationship, for years. They were a beautiful loving couple during the shoot, but wait, they aren't together anymore, but they wanted us to still share these loving memories with the world. HOW SWEET!!!

Wait, since this on again off again relationship spanned years, when was there time for Camren? Well, let's see. Lauren had that Emblem 3 guy in 2012. There was Luis from the end of 2013 to July/Aug 2014. Then there was Brad also in 2014. They didn't "break up" until December. Lucy didn't move back to the States from Puerto Rico, until the Fall of 2014, to attend classes in NOLA. That means, Lauren didn't "reconnect" with Lucy until 2015. So that means, this on/off relationship that spanned years, was in 2015/2016. How convenient. She showed up just in time to kill Camren, help push Camila's solo career, and for Lauren's coming out. Do you not get it guys???

The whole point of Laucy, was to destroy the Camren ship, so Lauren could come out, without being linked to Camila, and so Camila could go solo, without being linked to Lauren.

So in one interview, a photographer managed to confirm Laucy, kill Camren, and break-up Laucy. I'd say that photographer knew EXACTLY what to say, wouldn't you? (like reading from a well rehearsed script) just sayin.

It couldn't end there though, could it! NO! Those delusional, disgusting, crazy ass Camren shippers, just had to get some payback. They started the #laucypartyover. Really, just couldn't let it go could you?

Apparently, Lauren (or her SM handlers) were stalking that hash tag. Someone tweeted using the hash tag "no wonder Lauren hates Camren" Couldn't let that go by without a comment, right? It was laughable really. I mean, it wasn't just never real, it was "...never real...Ever"

Why would Lauren (if it was her) go out of her way to comment on a Camren tweet in a Laucy thread. Simple, after it was confirmed that Laucy were no more, the Camren shippers got their hopes up. Not on Lauren's watch. She literally obliterated the Camren ship...again. Why is she so adamant about killing it. Two reasons. 1) to protect Camila and her solo career and 2) now, Lauren is out and proud, single ready to mingle. (not really, but for Camren's sake, lets pretend)

What about Laucy? Lauren and Lucy are and have always been BFF's. Lucy is still available to use again, if need be. You know what the best part about all of this crap is? Finally, Lauren and Camila can have their "secret" relationship in private, without all of the Camren bullshit. (yes, I still ship them)

I don't know when it will be "safe" for Camila to come out, but one day she will get to. She wanted to before, but was pressured to keep quiet. The pressure, eventually will be off, and she'll get to be her true self, not only in private, but in public. Until then, I am going to continue to support Camila, Lauren, Dinah, Normani, and Ally. They all lost control of their lives chasing their dreams. They have done nothing to deserve the hate and the division of this damn fandom. We should support every single one of them, and wish for them all to find their true bliss, despite the fucked up business they're in and the people who run it.

#camren #laucy

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cyanidefilledcandy · 7 years ago

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So....I started another text post trying to explain everything, but it’s just going on too long.

First of all, I want to say I’m sorry to everyone, but specifically people like @eene-fangirl, @glitterashley, and @solangeamiratennyson. People who have been messaging me with requests and projects and such that I haven’t gotten to at all.

To make a long story short, my life is a complete shit show right now...

The biggest issue right now is about a month ago, I got what I thought was a toothache. It was out of nowhere, literally unbearable, and worst of all....CONSTANT. It didn’t stop or ease up at all...

I go to the dentist as soon as I possibly could, and they don’t find anything but recommend a root canal since they worked on the same tooth a year ago. I schedule an appointment and have to wait a full week. Not only that, but the payment for it was due THAT day since they were a “specialty” place and so they didn’t offer payment plan. Meanwhile, I’m still in unbearable and have no pain pills to speak of. I don’t know what the fuck is up with this state, but they are VERY strict about giving out pain meds...

So, I’m forced to take over the counter meds....they do NOTHING. Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely HATE pain meds....hate meds period, but I have to be close to killing myself in order to take pain meds.

And there I was popping 20-40 a day! As some of you may know, pain pills are complete poison to your liver and kidneys if taken in high amounts...I knew that, but it was either that or be in unbearable pain....not that taking the pills was any better. I can feel them affect my body terribly from starving me to making me weak to making me pain and nausea so bad that I actually had to leave work multiple times because I literally couldn’t walk. Finally get the root canal done, but the pain doesn’t lessen and in fact feels like it’s getting worse. But, I try to soldier through it and continue working....failing miserably. I got sent home and had to call out repeatedly. Meanwhile, I’m popping pills at an alarming rate just for ANY type of relief and it’s slowly making me sicker and sicker.... And the pain is indeed getting worse, starting to radiate to other places on my face and up to my head to the point of triggering migraines, which I’d been having issues with regardless. It had gotten so bad to where most nights, I had shut off literally everything in my house (lights, fan, etc.) and just sit in the dark and the quiet because any type of sensation just seemed to amplify my symptoms. Also, my symptoms seemed to mysteriously elevate to 100 at nighttime...

After one night of nearly killing myself because they pain was just so intense, I called out of work of my own volition and called the dentist in for an emergency exam to see if I could get some pain pills (I had called him in before and he called in some antibiotics thinking it was an infection). As I mentioned before, this state is extremely strict about prescribing pain medication and he said the only way he could is if I had swelling. I did not....

But while I was there, he asked me to describe my symptoms. I did....and he said what I was describing was actually some kind of neurological condition and that I may need to see a neurologist to get to the bottom of it. He couldn’t prescribe me anything, but I was grateful for being pointed in the right direction...

However, I’m still literally careening at night, pulling my hair out, sobbing, trying my absolute best not to swallow a bottle of pills to get it to stop... However, I keep (somehow) convincing myself to give it another day....that things will be better tomorrow.... So, I once again go to an emergency medical clinic and I just straight up break down everything that’s been happening, damn near tears and the doctor can plainly see that I have not been having a good time, and suggest we get to the bottom of it as soon as possible. And I’m like “FINALLY! Someone gets it!” He writes me a referral to a neurologist and I call as soon as I can...

August.

The first available appointment they have is in August. Like....god forbid I have a brain tumor or something. I’m sure it’ll be fine until August....

I call a different place, and they have an opening on July 18....not really any better, but fine.

Meanwhile...I’m still fucking here. They gave me some shots at the medical center and it’s the ONLY thing that’s helped me so far, but like....what am I supposed to do when it wears off (btw, it has....only lasted about a day and a half). They did prescribe me some pain meds that I had to ask for, but it’s only a low dose and they only gave me 10....when I need 2 for it to have any effect...

Furthermore, because of this stuff, I had to take time off from work (couldn’t even work the full week in prep for it) and I’m pretty much out of vacation and personal time (I only get a week and two days). My rent is due Saturday and because of this stuff, I basically missed an entire week’s worth of work from both jobs and don’t have nearly enough... Furthermore, my car payment is a full month overdue because I spent it (plus some) on a root canal that I didn’t need...and the second payment is due. My lights have yet to be payed...and on top of all of this, the Department of Education has started garnishing my paycheck... There’s a form I can fill out for leave of absence at work so I can get paid, but 1) you have to be out at least two weeks, and 2) you have to get a doctor to sign off on it...

I was hoping to get the neurologist to do so, but I won’t see him for another month basically. I have a so called “primary care physician” who has literally stared at me the when I brought the migraines up to him at least twice before (once he literally asked me “what do you want me to do about it?��). So, I feel like I don’t have that option. I honestly can’t work, but....I also can’t afford not to, and I.... I just don’t know what to fucking do anymore guys...

Before all of this, I had planned to just quit my job and start over in Alabama with my friend. I was hoping to find a job first....even though a large part of me was terrified of that since I’m in no mental state to be trying to look for a new job anyway. I feel so dead... He even offered me a place to stay even if I WOULD be jobless for a while....and I honestly considered that as well, but...I’d like to have SOME money saved up (even just a couple hundred), so it’s not ALL on him... Though, I must admit....I came VERY close to just packing my shit and leaving because....I just CAN’T anymore. And I know that sounds like a lazy cop-out, but....it’s true. I just can’t right now...

I planned on maybe saving a couple hundred, and just leaving and finding work once I got there and had time to collect myself (I thought a big part was that I was so overworked from working 65+ hours at 2 jobs with no sleep...), but then all this shit with my health started and.....I just don’t fucking know...

I still want to just leave (honestly, I feel like I should’ve left a LONG time ago...), but my health insurance is through my job, and I can’t just....go on with these issues. I just don’t know...

And between this literally unbearable pain, the bullshit life keeps throwing at me, and just...feeling dead anyway, I just want to just....end it.

I’m so tired of it all. I’m so tired of pushing through. I’m so tired of fighting to live when I honestly don’t even feel alive anymore. When I have no goals. No dreams. No pleasure. No joys. Like....all of that has been sucked out of me to the point where literally nothing elicits any type of emotion for me. Where I can’t get excited about anything anymore. Like....what’s the fucking point?

....but I went off on a tangent. Sorry. I just kinda wanted to let you guys know why I haven’t been around...and why I’ve been so inactive.

All I can say is I’m sorry. I’d like to get back to that point again, but not sure I can....

#personal #health

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amaintainedrisk · 6 years ago

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My papa has been Dead less than four hours and my mother has already started her rampage against me. I knew she would start taking her grief or whatever the hell it is out on me, I was just hoping to avoid it tonight. No such luck.

I love you guys so much but there’s only so much one person can take. I have no grandparents left and the one family member who never hurt me just died. I asked if there was going to be an autopsy so we knew what happened and I literally got my head torn off, got called names and yelled and screamed out. I’m locked in my room at the age of 32 years Old

AND FUCK SIRI FOR HER RANDOM CAPITALIZATION THAT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MORON. UGH.

I should have known better than to go to my mother for comfort. That’s my own fault for doing it. I’m just so upset I didn’t know what to do with myself and I just made everything so much worse. I just wanted a hug. I just wanted my papa and I didn’t know what to do with myself so I was hoping for one night, just maybe my mother would act like my mother. But I should have known better and that honestly was my own fault for going down there in the first place expecting comfort when I know how much the rest of my family hates me and uses me as a punching bag. I didn’t meet my father until I was 24 years old. My grandfather raised me so it’s like I lost my dad not my grandpa. It hurts so bad. You have no idea how much I mean SC right now. Matt, Kim, and especially Resa. I miss everyone so much. I am so appreciative of A Monsie and A Christina and A Justin sticking by me no matter what, but honestly it breaks my heart that it seems so easy that the rest of sc just seemed to have no problem letting me go, as if I wasn’t worth being friends with in the first place. Especially during times like this. But I already whined about this before and everyone has moved on without me and there’s nothing I can do about it. But for some reason it’s just a fact that is always in the back of my mind every day because of how much I loved them. never mind. I’ve said this all before. I’m just so lonely and I just want my papa. He was the only one who loved me in this family and that’s probably why SC is on my mind so much tonight. As long as I have power, I didn’t tell her if my family hated me because at least I meant something to someone and I don’t have that anymore.

now that my papa is gone, there is officially nobody in the family who gives a damn about me. There is only so much one person can take and I would give anything to have gone with my papa tonight.. at least then he wouldn’t have died alone and I would finally be free of all this pain that I know is a bout to get so much worse over the next few weeks because it’s already starting. I don’t mean a fucking thing to anyone and I honestly wonder if I ever did. if I meant something it wouldn’t have been so easy to just move on without me and once again here I go with that bullshit whining. I’m sorry. I just want this to be over with. There’s literally nothing left for me now that he and most of my friends are gone.

I’m going to stop talking now because this entry I just wrote? 63 times I had to stop and correct what Siri fucked up. Yeah, I counted. It’s infuriating and I’m already on the edge. I just wish my papa took me with him. I’m so tired of being told I’m worthless every night and I haven’t even mentioned what has been going on the last two days alone. My mother beat the crap out of me with her purse while she was having a seizure and I was trying to take care of her. It’s not just mental anymore, it’s physical.

I do have my uncle Billy but my mother will not let me see him. She’s mad at him because he left the family after the way my grandmother and my aunt treated him and his wife and his kids. My mother holds that against him but yet makes excuses for my aunt physically abusing me when I was three years old, and it Turning on emotional and a purple abuse after that. It’s wrong for my uncle to protect his family and that makes him a bad person and my mother’s head, but my aunt physically beating me to the point where she almost broke my arm is just no big deal.

I called my uncle for support and my mother heard and just attacked me and took it as a betrayal. But my aunt trying to put me in a homeless shelter and doing everything she did, it’s perfectly acceptable for her to stay in our lives. But I’m not allowed to talk to my uncle and I just got screamed out for 20 minutes because of it.

I literally have nowhere to go and there’s only so much one person can take. I have nobody. I just called my uncle out of Greece and now I’m going to be paying for it for days. I am already on hospice anyway so what’s the point if I go now or wait until my neurological disorder kills me sometime this year if I don’t get Americal? My friends didn’t want me. My family doesn’t want me. The only friends that did, I can barely get to, and the only family members that cared, One I am not allowed to talk to you and the other just died.

I just wanted some comfort. I couldn’t get it from my mother so I went to my uncle and now I probably won’t even be able to leave my room for days as punishment. It hurts so much that my mother faults my uncle for doing so little but she absolutely loves the sister I would be absolutely ecstatic if I was dead and gone for good.

… I just wanted to grieve. I am so fucking stupid for reaching out to my mother and then to my uncle. I think it’s just time. The loneliness is too much. The pain is too much. It would just be so much better for everyone and my family if I wasn’t here anymore, something that was actually said to me verbatim last year. i’ve been forgotten by one group of friends and I’ve been hated my entire life by my family. I give up. I just fucking give up. I have no phone to even try to find support and the only way I got to my uncle Billy in the first place was through some sort of FaceTime app thing he sent me for my iPad because he knows I’ve been without a phone for over six months. That’s how my mother found out I was talking to him. she heard me through my door and I had to talk loudly because like I said, I’m stealing my neighbors Wi-Fi and it’s spotty at best so the program only works half the time and really isn’t worth it. I was just desperate and boy did that fucking backfire. i’m just really lucky that my mother isn’t tech savvy and didn’t put two and two together and realize I was online by stealing somebody’s Wi-Fi. The only real way to get in contact with me is through my iPad‘s iCloud account, from the one I sent at Christmas time. I’m true. I’m trying so hard to hang on but my fingers are slipping. I can’t take the abuse, the loneliness and feelings of abandonment, and I can’t take these memories anymore. I just want to go. I hate sounding so emo and suicidal but I am so tired of crying myself to sleep. There’s a lot of other stuff going on too but I just can’t tonight. I still have my temporary dental bridge in from July 2017 because nobody will take me to the dentist. I look like a fucking hillbilly and I can’t even smile without extreme embarrassment and shame, But over the last few years I haven’t really had something to smile about so it’s not like it matters.

I miss my friends. I miss the old me. I hate and I’m extremely hurt at how easy everyone has moved on without me as if I didn’t even matter. And I hate being hated by my family. There’s only so much I can take. and I am humiliated that I am 32 years old and I am allowing this to happen to me so I should share some of the blame and fishing as well.

And all this because my grandfather died and I just wanted a hug. I just wanted someone to hold me while I cried for my papa. I should have known it was too much to ask for. And now that he’s dead, my aunt is going to be in my life even more than ever because she’s a lazy piece of shit and refuses to grow up and take care of herself. She makes everyone do it for her and everyone actually does so. She has six kids and has been arrested for welfare fraud. My grandfather was taking care of a 43-year-old woman with six kids and now that he’s dead my aunt is going to expect my mother to do so. And my mother will.

I just want to fucking go. I just want to be with my papa. I’ve been trying to hang on because I wanted to have at least a resemblance of a life, at least some happiness before I die, but that’s not going to happen because I’m not allowed to go anywhere, I can’t get my teeth fixed, there’s no way any man would want to be with me if you saw the way my teeth look worse all the way my back works. Nobody wants to be with an ugly woman who can’t even smile. I have like two T-shirts and two pairs of pants because I can’t go out shopping and I can’t meet anybody new because nobody will take me so clearly, that happiness I’ve been holding out for is never going to come. And now I feel like total shit for making my grandfathers death all about me.

i’m so sorry for being a horrible friend and a horrible person. i’m so sorry.

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papermoonloveslucy · 8 years ago

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Lucy and the Countess Have a Horse Guest

S4;E6 ~ October 25, 1965

Synopsis

The Countess turns up on Lucy's doorstep with the only thing her late husband left her: a race horse. When she can't pay the stable fees, Lucy lets the horse stay on her patio. They hope it will race again one day, until it is discovered that the horse is pregnant.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carmichael), Gale Gordon (Theodore J. Mooney)

Mary Jane Croft (Mary Jane Lewis) does not appear in this episode.

Guest Cast

Ann Sothern (Rosie Hannigan, the Countess Framboise) makes the first of her three season four appearances at the Countess. Sothern had appeared in the first “Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” “Lucy Takes a Cruise to Havana” (1957) as Susie MacNamara, the same character she played on her show “Private Secretary” from 1953 to 1957. In return, Lucille Ball played Lucy Ricardo on her show in 1959. Sothern appeared with Ball in five films between 1933 and 1943. She was nominated for an Oscar for her final screen appearance in The Whales of August in 1987. She is buried near her home in Sun Valley, Idaho, a place also dear to Lucy and Desi.

Herb Vigran (Veterinarian) played Jule, Ricky Ricardo’s music agent on two episodes of “I Love Lucy” in addition to playing movie publicist Hal Sparks in “Lucy is Envious” (ILL S3;23). He was seen in the Lucy-Desi film The Long, Long Trailer. He played the role of the baseball umpire (an eye doctor) in two previous episodes. He went on to play other characters in two more episodes.

The Veterinarian says he's been a horse doctor for 22 years. He never gives his name.

Bill Quinn (Mr. Morton, stable owner) is probably best remembered as Mr. Van Rensalear on “All in the Family” and “Archie Bunker's Place.” This is his only appearance with Lucille Ball.

The character introduces himself as Mr. Morton, although the final credits list him as Mr. Frink. Morton is, of course, Lucille Ball's name by marriage to Gary Morton, the show's production consultant and warm-up act.

Sid Gould (Porter #1) made more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” all as background characters. He also did 40 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by marriage to Gary Morton. Gould was married to Vanda Barra, who also appeared on “The Lucy Show” starting in 1967, as well as on “Here’s Lucy.”

Bennett Green (Porter #2, uncredited) was Desi Arnaz’s stand-in during “I Love Lucy.” He does frequent background work on “The Lucy Show.”

He does not have any dialogue.

William Frawley (Horse Trainer) was already a Hollywood veteran when he was hired by Desi Arnaz to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy.” After the series concluded he joined the cast of “My Three Sons” playing Bub Casey. This was his final appearance before his death in March 1966.

William Frawley gets his own full screen end credit, listed as "And our own Bill Frawley as The Trainer."

There are two live horses (Oil Well and May) and two foals (Lucy and Rosie) used on screen.

An uncredited and unidentified background actor leads Oil Well into the stable.

This episode was written by Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson and directed by Maury Thompson.

The original telecast included commercials for Wisk laundry detergent, Lux dish washing soap, Dippity-Do hair gel, and White Rain hair spray. There was also a promo spot for "The Ed Sullivan Show"

This episode was filmed September 16, 1965. That was a big night for CBS, with the very first episode of “My Three Sons” after moving from ABC titled “The First Marriage”. It was also the first episode of the series broadcast in color, something “The Lucy Show” did three days earlier with “Lucy at Marineland” (S4;E1).

Although William Frawley had left “My Three Sons” due to declining health, two of the “sons” had been seen on “The Lucy Show”. Don Grady (Robbie Douglas) had played Chris Carmichael’s friend Bill and Barry Livingston (Ernie Douglas) had played Mr. Mooney’s son Arnold. Barbara Perry was also in the “Three Sons” cast that night. Perry would do two episodes of “The Lucy Show” in 1966. Fred MacMurray teamed with Lucille Ball on “Lucy Hunts Uranium” (LDCH S1;E3) James V. Kern was the “Sons” director, a position he also held on “I Love Lucy.” “My Three Sons” was filmed at Desilu Studios.

“Gilligan’s Island” also had marriage theme the night of September 16, 1965. That episode featured “The Lucy Show” actors Mary Foran and Alan Hale Jr. Natalie Schafer (Mrs. Howell) had played Phoebe Emerson in “The Charm School” (ILL S3;E15).

Lucille Ball has restyled her hair for this episode.

Ann Sothern, Gale Gordon, and Herb Vigran all receive entrance applause from the studio audience.

Rosie once again arrives at Lucy's home with lots of luggage, although not nearly as much as when she first arrived in Danfield (above). Once again, Sid Gould is one of the men delivering it and being tipped.

Lucy tells Rosie that so far in Hollywood she has met:

Lassie's Hairdresser ~ Canine star Lassie was mentioned on “I Love Lucy” in “The Young Fans” (ILL S1;E20), among others.

The Man who used to dry off Lloyd Bridges ~ Actor Lloyd Bridges was the star of “Sea Hunt” (1958-1961), a TV series about a scuba diver which featured extensive underwater filming. It was previously mentioned in “Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower” (S1;E18) and “Lucy Buys a Boat” (S1;E30). Bridges played a doctor on the season five opener of “Here’s Lucy” in 1972.

Liberace's Dentist ~ Flamboyant pianist Liberace (well known for his continual smile), was mentioned on “I Love Lucy” in “The Diner” (ILL S3;E27). He will guest star on a 1970 episode of “Here's Lucy” playing himself.

When Rosie says that her late husband left her Oil Well, Lucy says that she'll be in with the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts. Rosie says she'll be in with the Longdens and the Arcaros because Oil Well is a racehorse. The former are two of the wealthiest families in America, although it was Rockefeller who made his fortune in oil as owner of Standard Oil. Eddie Arcaro (1916-97) held the record for winning more American classic races than anyone else. Johnny Longden (1907-2003, above) was one of the most successful jockeys of all time. By the end of his 40 year career he had racked up 6,032 victories. He played himself on “I Love Lucy” in “The Loving Cup” (ILL S6;E12).

Rosie formally asks the Horse Trainer (William Frawley) to announce her as the Countess Henri Gaston Armand Jean-Louis Philippe Framboise Le Cul-de-Sac. The Trainer grimaces (in Frawley's inimitable way) and then shouts “Some dame is here to see you!” After William Frawley's brief cameo as the horse trainer, Lucy says “You know he reminds me of someone I used to know.” This is an obvious reference to his nine year history of playing Fred Mertz opposite Lucille Ball.

This was William Frawley's final appearance on television. He died of a heart attack at the Knickerbocker Hotel, a few months after shooting this show. Desi Arnaz was grief-stricken with the loss of his friend and took out a full-page ad in the trade papers, consisting of Frawley's picture, framed in black, and three words: "Buenas noches, amigo!" Lucy had wanted Frawley to appear on “The Lucy Show” earlier, but because he and Vivian Vance did not get along, Lucy had to wait until Viv was no longer a regular.

Oil Well's board and feed bill comes to $937.14. Adjusting for inflation, that would be more than $7,200 today. Lucy spent $86 for oats, which she tells Mr. Mooney is for baking cookies.

Rosie says that Oil Well may be old enough to be the first horse to collect Medicare. Congress enacted Medicare to provide health insurance to people age 65 and older, regardless of income or medical history. President Johnson signed the bill into law on July 30, 1965, just two weeks after this episode was filmed so this was an subject very much in the news in 1965.

MR. MOONEY: “Mrs. Carmichael! We will talk about it right here, if you don’t mind!” LUCY: “Of horse! Of course, of course!”

When Lucy is trying to hide the fact that she’s keeping a horse in her apartment, she inadvertently (perhaps deliberately by the writers) quotes the lyrics to the sitcom “Mr. Ed” the most famous horse on television!

“A horse is a horse, of course, of course And no one can talk to a horse, of course. That is, of course, unless the horse Is the famous Mister Ed!”

The show aired on CBS from 1958 to 1966. The night before this episode of “The Lucy Show” first aired, “Mr. Ed” featured actor George N. Neise, who had played Mr. Carter (no relation) in “Lucy Becomes A Father” (S3;E9) a year earlier. In 1966, Bill Quinn (Mr. Morton in “Lucy and the Countess Have a Horse Guest”) appeared on “Mr. Ed.” Jimmy Garrett, who played Jerry Carmichael, had done an episode in 1962. On a 1970 episode of “Here’s Lucy,” guest star Carol Burnett also mentions Mr. Ed.

Lucy's checking account is known around the bank as ‘Mooney's Millstone.’ In this case, Mr. Mooney is referring to the Biblical proverb about “a millstone around one’s neck”, which means to put some burden on a person’s life or punishment that makes escape impossible. It also means to force somebody takes up some responsibility or a job that they are trying to avoid.

When the Countess sees Mr. Mooney, she addresses him by his real name, instead of “Mr. Money,” which was a running gag back in Danfield.

There are two references to sending Oil Well to the “Glue Factory.” This has become a euphemism for euthanizing a horse (or any animal) but it is based in fact. Early adhesives were made from a process that incorporated animal bones and hides. The animal were generally horses (due to its shear size), but other animals were also used.

The Veterinarian's diagnosis of Oil Well is that “She's pregnant!” When Lucy Ricardo was expecting a child in 1952, the network forbade the word “pregnant” from being mentioned on air. Times have changed.

When hearing that Oil Well is expecting, Lucy prepares the horse a lunch of dill pickles, strawberries, hot sauce, cod liver oil, and sardines. Lucy and Rosie assume that horses have the same pre-natal cravings that some women experience.

Lucy gets an irate phone call from Mrs. Goldaper, the woman who lives downstairs from her, about Oil Wells clomping about. Goldaper was Lucy's husband Gary Morton's birth name, so technically Lucille Ball is also a “Mrs. Goldaper.”

As Oil Well is giving birth, Mr. Mooney sings “Sonny Boy” hoping it is a boy. "Sonny Boy" was written by Ray Henderson, Bud De Sylva, and Lew Brown and was featured in the 1928 talkie The Singing Fool sung by Al Jolson. It is ironic that a Jolson song should be sung in the same episode that features William Frawley, who had a long-standing and sometimes bitter rivalry with the performer.

Lucy reminds Rosie that she has given birth and is a mother (without mentioning their names). Rosie says her sister has also given birth, making her an aunt.

Oil Well has births two foals, which Rosie and Lucy name... Rosie and Lucy!

Callbacks & Fast Forward!

In “Lucy Wins a Racehorse,” a 1958 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour,” Lucy also kept a live race horse (named Whirling Jet) in the house.

Lucy Carmichael says she bought a special chair for Oil Well to sit in and rest, although the horse never actually sits on it on camera. It is possible that the producers were hoping to recreate the gag of the horse sitting an an armchair that was featured in “Lucy Wins a Racehorse,” but that Oil Well refused to cooperate. There seems little other reason for the chair and the dialogue. Also, there is a hard edit in the film as the telephone rings. Saved by the bell!

Lucy jokingly tells Oil Well to chew his food 30 times before swallowing. When Lucy Ricardo is trying to delay getting to the theatre in “Lucy’s Night In Town” (ILL S6;E22) she tells Ricky that “ Everyone should chew their food 25 times before swallowing, just like the animals do.”

While mixing Oil Well's food, Lucy says that when she was pregnant she always wanted ice cream with sardines. On “I Love Lucy,” Lucy Ricardo also craved ice cream and sardines, even sending Ricky out in the middle of the night to get it for her.

She also mixes in some dill pickles, which was another craving that Lucy Carter said she had when she ‘faked’ her pregnancy in “Lucy the Part-Time Wife” (HL S3;E14).

When Oil Well goes into labor, pandemonium ensues just as it did when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). “Call the cab!” “I’ll call the cab!”

In the panic, Mr. Mooney says “I’d better go out and by Dr. Spock’s baby book.” Benjamin McLane Spock (1903-98) was a pediatrician whose 1946 book Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care is one of the best-sellers of all time. It was first mention on “I Love Lucy” in “Nursery School” (S5;E9) and again in “Little Ricky’s School Pageant” (S6;E10). Ricky often mispronounced his name as “Dr. Spook”! Convincing their sons to deliver a cake for them, Viv calls Lucy Carmichael “The Dr. Spock of Danfield” in a 1964 episode of “The Lucy Show.”

Live horses were also featured on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy Visits the White House” (S1;E25), “Kiddie Parties Inc.” (S2;E2), “Lucy and Arthur Godfrey” (S3;E23), “Lucy Discovers Wayne Newton” (S4;E14), and “Lucy and Robert Goulet” (S6;E8).

Blooper Alerts!

Luggage Jenga! When Porter #2 walks toward Rosie to be tipped, the baggage he has stacked topples over with a loud thud. He turns around to see what has made the noise, but does not go back to fix it and the scene goes on as if nothing has happened.

Shut The Door! As usual on “The Lucy Show,” when Mr. Mooney enters Lucy's home he leaves the front door open.

What’s My Line! Lucille Ball jumps Ann Sothern's line when she's in the kitchen talking about her tin mine in the Alps.

Sitcom Logic Alert! When Rosie arrives at 4am, Lucy is wearing pajamas, a robe, with her hair in curlers, but still has on very thick eyelashes!

Second Story Horse! It has previously been established and confirmed again here that Lucy lives on the second floor, making the idea of Oil Well getting up the stairs and living on her patio quite unlikely!

My Three Sons! When Oil Well is about to give birth, Mr. Mooney says “I hope it's a boy. I've always wanted a boy.” He forgets that he has three sons of his own: Ted Jr., Bob, and Arnold. Which brings our story full circle!

“Lucy and the Countess Have a Horse Guest” rates 4 Paper Hearts out of 5

RIP Bill Frawley (1887-1966)

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curiouskarenscapers2017 · 7 years ago

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March 2005

And so the short February month came and went. Only 5 months to go…how time flies! Things will be tight as we don’t get paid holidays and we had 6 days holiday this month….oh well, all part of the experience I suppose…limits my excursions a bit though, so this month will be a tad quiet by my standards.

Suddenly I have to plan to go home…find another job and organise to send my stuff back! When you get here you plan on how to make the place your own and half way through your contract you plan on how to take it all back. 1 cat, 1 Hi Fi and a bike I never had before! Interesting! Well on the other hand who says I’m coming home??? Made you think, haven’t I? We’ll see how it goes with finding something either back home or else where…all depends. My flight is on the 23 July 2005…my cut off date! Don’t you just love the stress levels and adrenaline rush attached to deadlines!!!

So my first weekend in March I get sick. Probably took all of three hours Friday afternoon and I was wheezing and coughing and struggling for air! Lay in bed the whole evening watching Lord of the rings. Saturday wasn’t much better and after my 2hour class I was ready to give up on life as I once new it. You don’t realize how important breathing is until you can’t! I told my boss Judy I don’t feel well, she whipped out her brother-in-laws business card to his nose and throat clinic, isn’t family wonderful, and off I went. Slept a few hours as the clinic only opens at 3pm. Eventually I got up and started cycling really slowly until I got there. Very neat, tidy and big. Got entered into the computer via my National Health Insurance card and got assigned a number, 34. I took a seat in the foyer where the other people were waiting. A very efficient and effective system. I sat in the front first and then moved into a corner position where I felt more comfortable and could watch the people from there, I gave one good cough and the guy next to me got up and went to the far side of the room…teeheeeeheee, didn’t mean to frighten him off. He probably thought what disease did this foreigner bring into the country! After a while I noticed one of my students in the clinic, Elaine, she helped me mark a few test after class today, I felt bad as I thought I had given her this killer virus. I told you it worked fast, 3 – 4 hours and you have it!!! We’ll see on Monday how many I affected, maybe it was the other way around, they did it to me!!! I felt like a bit of a celebrity as Elaine and her brother waved at me and eventually the mother waved as they left, everybody looked at me. Next minute another teacher form the school saw me and waved and I waved back and everybody looked at me again! Yeah, I know people everywhere!!!! Cool hey!!! The numbers flew by and finally it was my turn. I walked through the sand blasted glass door and was met by a slight Chinese doctor, Judy’s brother in law. With his mask on and the usual big silver round shaped “whatever that is”-iron eye on a band around his head. He was very friendly and gave me back NTD20 of the NTD100 I paid when I came in to get an appointment. A benefit of working at Sesame Street School! He asked me what was wrong I explained and I was seated in a dentist looking chair for the check up. The chair came fully equipped with a foot pump for the vertical movement of the chair! Cool!! He pulled out my tongue and asked me to say “ee” Do you now how difficult this seemingly easy task really is? Let someone pull out your tongue at least over halfway out of your mouth and then say”ee”. Anyway, he brushed some brown stuff onto the back of my tongue for the sore throat, which worked immediately..very effective. Then he sent me with his nurse. Not even 5 min and I was out, amazing. I went with her into a little indent around the corner where some inhalers were. She set up a little machine for me with a liquid ball in the middle and added the medicine to it and the next minute with the turning of some knobs and things it looked like a hubbly bubbly. I had to keep the “Kreepy crawly” looking pipe close to my nose and inhale deeply…okay lady!!!! About 5 inhales later I could breathe fully again, amazing. As part of his diagnosis he told me I have asthma…lovely, this air is doing me wonders!!

After about 5 min I was done on the hubbly bubbly and was shown to the dispensary where I received a long package of individual sections, for each day, relevantly marked 1, 2, 3 which meant morning, afternoon and evening. SO for three days I take these and come back for a check up. Cool, see ya then. I went home and went straight to bed. At about 1 to 2 in the morning I realized what it felt to have an asthma attack or to suffocate. I couldn’t breathe, I had short breaths of air coming into my lungs and the bubbling of all the liquid in them made it sound like someone was laying snoring in my lungs, the weight proved that theory as well! I was in a panicked stricken way at this time and the more I tried to breathe the less air I got in and each breath became a huge effort. My muscles were aching in every possible way. I didn’t know you had muscles around your lungs, I think their stiff after this work out!!! I calmed myself down and eventually decided to take the number 1 package allocation of pills, because this was the morning. After that at about 3 my breathing became a tad more regular and I felt much better, just as I thought I will live the earth reminded me that this could be a temporary illusion. It shook and shuddered and went away…for about 1 min and came back just to say….fooled ya!!! Eventually at about 3:15 it was quiet again and I went back to sleep with Draco curled up next to me to keep me relaxed. I slept until Sunday afternoon when Melissa, the stunning flat mate she is brought me breakfast in bed! We chatted a bit and I went back to sleep, the pills I was taking was very effective and I felt better although every muscle in my body was aching……I think I lost another 2 kg’s because of this…cool!! Bring on the next 2 bottles of water please! Because of all the sleeping I lost track of the times a bit and found myself at 12 at night waking up and walking around a bit! Monday should be interesting as I have to cycle to the new school which is a few kilometers away, I think I’ll ask for the scooter!!

A few breathing attacks later every time I cycled somewhere, I was fine. The clock is ticking and I feel the stress of deciding what to send when and how in the next two months. Finding something else at home or abroad is my other little stress factor but I’m not too worried at this stage.

We decided we needed a break and went to the Maple Leafs in Yunlin which is about a 30min scooter ride from our place in the opposite side of Taichung. So if you were in Toti Taichung would be Durban and Yunlin would be Scottborough. Or Faerie Glen compared to Jo’burg. Take your pick.

So Ryno left for Hong Kong to meet up with his parents on Thursday night to fly over on Friday morning and left us the scooter. We decided at the last minute to take the scooter and go exploring a bit. The evening was cool but warmer than usual. It was about 10pm when we finally got some vague directions as to get there. Off we went! We went through some places we have NEVER seen or knew of, cool! My kind of adventure! We finally turned down a second option after the first option was not the right road. There were two quick shops on either corner, a 711 and a Hi-life. We were told to turn at the 711 which in turn was actually the Hi-life. We drove down a beautifully lit up avenue and some interesting bars and places. After not finding the bar we phoned for final directions and were on the right road! So we turned around and just had to go down a colourful archway and there we were on our right the Maple Leafs- actually in honor of the Toronto Maple Leafs Ice skating team.

Foreigners everywhere and they were putting pylons in one of the lanes in front of the pub. Apparently some sporting event was organized for tonight because it was St. Paddy’s day! Well, another very celebrated holiday in Taiwan, everything was green, everyone was wearing green and your beer was green…way to go guys!!! Americans, Canadians, Londoners and of course South Africans and some local Taiwanese. The live entertainment was a guy Melissa and Kim got to hear at a party a few nights before and apparently he was really good, called Andy. Looked very Israeli but was a Pommy. He was really good the little I heard before we were all ushered outside to view the sporting event that turned out to be—–tug of war. SO in the streets of Taiwan the foreigners played tug-o-war celebrating St Paddy’s day with bewildered drivers of cars and scooters passing in one lane next to the event. Cheering and shouting, comments entertained all who were watching including the Taiwanese family on the second floor of the building…poor people. After the girl teams won a few of the bouts the winning team dragged the losers over the chalk drawn line on the street while the host, a guy from Canada that reminded me of Brian Barry, making his comments and cheering them on, held his hand up and announced the winners.

The next event raised a few eyebrows as two cat sized rocks, green and gold, were brought outside. The gold one was slightly smaller than the green one that looked like a watermelon without the stripes, but not as round. It was boulder tossing!!! Lines were drawn and people were listed and the fun began. The contestants were at least courteous enough to wait for the scooters and driving cars to pass before tossing the boulder…most didn’t go very far but far enough to bump into a scooter or two parked outside the pub. Nothing serious, it just rolled that far. Soon the police was circling and the Chinese lady explained what was happening while the boulder was nimbly passed through the crowd out of cop sight. “Keep the noise down, the people are complaining.” “Okay officer, maykwanshie(no problem)” Off they went, out came the boulders and we cheered a notch softer. The girls used the gold one and I was very tempted! But withheld the urge and took photos instead.

We met some familiar faces from our valley and met up with Melissa’s people she met at the party. Very nice and festive, still small but nicely decorated with many ice hockey memorabilia. The drinks were reasonable at about R20 a Smirnoff ice, so we had two as we were scootering back home still. So at about 1am we decided it was time to find out way back. The road there was very basic and straight forward, no real turns or anything. One turn right and straight until we get to our traffic light and left. EASY!!! About 30min. It was a tad colder when we rode back but still better than it has been recently or at least the last two months. Summer is on its way.

We’ll definitely do that again! Great fun and a well deserved break from the working environment and flat. I spent most of Saturday in the internet café after our school meeting which dragged on to 4:30. So at about 7:30pm I got to our flat and we decided that we will go to the movies on Sunday. See what was showing, maybe Miss Congeniality 2 or the Aviator; I still wanted to see that.

So we ended up seeing neither but Assault on Precinct 13. Good movie. We went home and watched whatever was on channel HBO, which is our favorite because of the lack of commercial breaks!!! The only channel to do this I might add. We counted on our other channels, and there were more or less 10 commercials run in a break. Lovely, the short half hour movie becomes a two hour premiere!!! Nearly as bad!!! Anyway, we have cable, don’t complain.

The following weekend we decided to join the girls and go on the Kenting trip for the holiday weekend of April. The Tuesday is a Holiday, 5 April, tomb sweeping day, and it’s exactly what they do. They go to where there ancestors are buried and they clean it out a bit, just to remind you where you come from I suppose.

Anyway, so we have this trip to look forward to if it happens. It is a spring festival and apparently it is a bit of a “Splashy Fen” or “Woodstock” effect. Many local and international bands play there and everybody goes to pack out and listen! Stunning! Our organising was a bit late so we’ll see if we get space. Julian, had organized a bungalow for us all to stay in for Friday and Saturday night. Coming back on the Sunday. Some of us still have to work on the Monday. But I think a bit of a break will do me tons of good. The cold has subsided both, sickness and season. Spring has arrived and it has been raining a bit. We decided to go to the Maple Leafs on Friday night as we were braaing and drinking Canadian Club and orange juice which changed to Sprite when the orange juice was done. The guys, Ryno and David were drinking Beck’s and then Erdinger, they got it on special as the locals don’t really drink the foreign beer. We went to Maple leafs which was dead compared to last time we were there and watched them playing charades, which turned out to be good fun, especially after a few drinks (the contestants I mean!). We eventually left at about 12 and got home and crashed. Sunday we hit the streets and markets and went exploring, coming upon another market that appeared out of nowhere. Very interesting and I took some pics and video. Can’t wait to let you see this and hear it! To be lived!

Photos 8,9,10,11,12

We explored the small alley ways that was quiet and peaceful away from the bustling of scooters and people. We ended up passing a guy that was making dumplings. A small round piece of dough filled with your favourite filling and expertly folded and ruffled to look like a blue bottle on the beach or a “man o war”. I got some for tonight’s dinner.

Anyway, back to popular street we discovered that they had an extended market that day and it was exciting again. We stopped at a little stall which had the most divine smelling dumplings and little snacks steaming away in their steamers. I have to get into the steaming, the food is great here just using the steamers. Anyway, I saw some crab, rice, chocolate and other many different flavoured bits. I tried to ask him what meat was in the dumplings, but the face said it all and he kept on saying it is NT10 per dumpling. Okay thanks, but what meat is inside? After trying to say the word for chicken meat and pork and getting no response but it is Nt10 I resorted to flapping my wings for chicken and snorting for pork! Melissa by this time was killing herself laughing as well as two guys in the stall next door. Eventually we just took ones that looked good, and they were divine! A mix of veggies and the dumpling dough with meat. Too good!!

A while later as we traveled through the stalls we came upon one of the guys that was standing laughing at the previous stall and as we passed he flapped his arms and made like a chicken…thanks for that!!! I will be known as the bird woman from Changhua from now on!!! Melissa just died laughing!!!

So I finally got to experience and photograph my first big parade. Definitely the biggest I have seen so far. It was a drizzling Thursday noon and the next minute the wine of the flutes and deep beating sounds of the drums woke me up. I got ready and eventually saw them outside my window rounding the 711. I got my camera and started filming a video. After some checking it was no good from that far away. I wanted to go to the internet café anyway, so I got on my bike armed with my camera and off I went. I felt like the Polar Express kid, chasing after the procession as it disappeared into the drizzle. Then it reappeared as I came closer. The illusive parade. It was actually a funeral procession of some important person, but it was beautiful. My camera was suddenly full and I quickly dashed into the internet café and downloaded what I had taken. Then I told them I’ll be right back! This is what I came to Taiwan for. I jumped on my bike and off I went. Stopping every now and then, to take photos. Then racing ahead and catching them at another angle as the approached. I saw the huge trucks with the colourful decorations and neon colours at that! Music galore! Each section had different music. From a forlorn sounding tone on the traditional instruments to prerecorded music from the huge trucks. Then the bands added their flavour as they passed. A military procession and band was followed by an all women’s band with their white shoes, short skirts whether they suited the figure or not! There was a truck that was totally decorated in the most beautiful flowers, it looked like a moving island of flowers. This was the actual funeral cart with what looked like the priests and family on the back. And then I saw my dragons! Although they were covering them with plastic against the rain I managed to get some of them uncovered. Will have to try and glimpse one again in all its glory.

Photos 17 – 28

Then a section appeared with the painted faces of the gods and characters of their religion carrying a person playing the part of the physical god. I mentioned him at the Chinese New Year party we went to, he was on their shrine; a red face and long black beard and the god of kung fu and things physical. What an experience! I really felt like a little kid seeing the circus come to town! I was in and out of the procession, first on the opposite side of the road then in the middle then on their side going with the flow and then turning and going against the stream. I was in my element, and then they disappeared, I tried to keep up and the next minute they were all gone, as the sun came out the mist with all it’s fantastical creatures disappeared. I went back to the internet café and read my email and went back to work….aaaaaahhhhhh.

So our plans changed at the last minute and we are skipping Kenting, no space and too expensive at time, instead Kim suggested a place called Taitung on the east coast of Taiwan nearly directly across from where we are but a bit further south and it takes forever to get there. We have looked at it before and Melissa and I wanted to go badly! The photos on the http://www.tealit.com sight of this area are beautiful and very scenic. This side of the island is very mountainous and vegetated as our side is an alluvial plain and flat. The roads are narrow and winding and the trains stick to the flat lands which mean they go around the island to get there. No problem! Maykwanshie! All part of the sightseeing experience!

Now the weekend is creeping closer and we are getting ready for our 5 hour train ride to Taitung on Saturday morning at 6:30…can’t wait! Need to do as much as possible in my last few months!

Taiwan Times Vol 8 March 2005 And so the short February month came and went. Only 5 months to go…how time flies!

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rezilient-m3 · 4 years ago

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Omg. A lot has happened since that first weekend... like A LOT. So, firstly I should tell you how court went. It was on June 26th, this past Friday, and it didn't go as I would have liked. Judge's decision was we get joint custody, I get every 2nd weekends (that were supposed to start July 3rd) and were to consult with each other on decisions, BUT he gets the final say. Like, wtf was that dumb ass judge on? I was pissed. But I thought that was how it was to be forever, like, we were officially done done. I was devastated. I cried. I was mad. Then, Alex reminded me of how James' stupid and will eventually fuck up and I will get my girls back. Blah, blah, blah. It kind of helped. We didn't know it would be 3 days later and how badly he would fuck it up.

Little back story of my weekend. Alex quit his job to go to his real job that started today. So, he was home for the weekend getting ready. I went to my sister R's for a graduation bbq for my nephew on Saturday and picked up my twin brother to come back with me. He was going to watch the dogs and my house while my son and I went to my parents house for the week. So, they were here when I got calls from James, early Sunday morning.

I wasn't answering right away, cuz I knew he was drunk. Only time he EVER calls me. So, I get out of bed, go outside and finally answer. Starts talking about how he's happy court's over (gloating), and how I can't do anything without his permission. Like a total asshole, "if you want to dye their hair, and I say no, you can't. Or if you want to cut their hair, and I say no, you can't. And if you try to take them North and I say no, you can't." Fuck whatever. But I kept my mouth shut, cuz our daughter T was still up with him, listening to us. So, fucken disrespectful, the way he chooses to speak to me in front of them. He doesn't give a shit. Anyways, I ask him what's the point in calling, about to hang up. Then, he suggests me taking them for the week, since "he gets final say", so he figured he can bend the rules to fit him. Whatever tho, I wasn't going to say no to a visit with my girls. Since I was going to get them on Friday, he says instead, to take them until Wednesday and then come back for them on Friday. Whatever again. I was on my way.

Now, it gets worse. It's like and hour and some minutes drive. I was calling and msging but no response again since I went put in gas. I was getting frustrated because my thoughts were what if I was going for nothing. I was msging Alex too, and he told me to just keep going and to report it if anything was wrong. So, I did. I called again from fb and my daughter answered. So glad someone picked up. She said her dad went pass out in K's bed (our youngest) and only her and S were up alone. So, I said I was still coming and to wake up her sister and get ready cuz I was only half hr away. I said I'd call her back when I was in the next town over and for her to keep her dad's phone. I did. We stayed on facetime until I got closer, they seen me pull up and were waving, and I told her to go wake up K and to say I was outside and we had to go. She goes downstairs, into the room, and flips out. She ran away crying and said to me, "Daddy's doing something to her!!" I immediately started shaking, yelling at her, asking her what. She and S come running all the way out and she was scared, I asked her again what she seen and what she meant, but she said she didn't wanna tell means to just go get her. Like wtf? I was choked. I go into that house, down the stairs, preparing myself and scared of what I was going to see. But I go to that room, she's laying there, James with his pants down to his ankles, but seemed to be asleep. I wave to K to come, she came and I whispered what he did to her. All she says is "Idk, I was sleeping." I just want to get out of there, fast. Before you're thinking, like, why didn't I do anything to him? I was fucken shook. I was afraid if he got up, he wouldn't let me take them, or something would have went really wrong. So, I told them to grab their shit and let's get the fuck going. (Not what I said, but basically).

We leave. It's quiet. We're all still pretty shaken. But I question my daughter T. I pulled over after that next town, told her to come outside and stand with me and said I need to know what she seen so I can tell someone. She was hesitant, but I start asking the yes or no questions. Was daddy touching her? No. Was his pants off? Yes. Was his underwear off? Yes. Then she said she seen him trying to put K on top of him and she was crying. OMFG. I asked, Did she have her clothes off too? No... Okay. I told her I need to now phone the social worker and tell her everything.

This is where it gets stupid (on their part). I call the on call worker, since it's Sunday. Same woman I spoke to about them being found alone. She informs me that they're not the ones that have assigned him a worker and his social worker is in the city closest to me. I didn't understand that part. She told me I have to find out who his worker is and contact those workers and let them know. Now, I have to wait until the morning to report it. I wake up 730 cuz their office opens at 8. I couldn't find the exact number to call a secretary or something to help me, all I could find was direct numbers to names of people who worked in the office. Dumb. So, I phoned to 1-800 number listed for reported neglected or abused children. Spoke to this lady and she says he wouldn't have a worker there because he lives in that reserve. Wtf? But she writes down everything that happened and said she'd forward it to the reserve's office. Okay. Gotta call them back. Same woman answered. I informed her that James has no worker in the city and they said that her people should have an open file with him since he.lives in that reserve, she fricken says he doesn't because our girls aren't registered to their band. I got upset. I said, "this is all just dumb. Like, who is supposed to be protecting my kids and who is supposed to let me know that I can keep them here safely? Cuz I don't want to take them back to their dad." I was on the verge of crying, I was so mad. She agreed though. She said she'd talk to her supervisor and talk to her and figure out what we're all going to do next. Finally.

I try get through the morning, just waiting, worrying, sad for my girls, hoping they're okay, wondering if I'll know how to get them through this. What a nightmare.

I get the call back while I was in the vehicle with my brother. I pulled over. She told me I can keep my girls here, that James was to not have any contact with my daughters and I don't have to talk to him either. That made me so happy. And she also advised me to hold off on making a police report and taking them to the hospital to get checked cuz she wanted to talk to her supervisor some more and I'd need a social worker to come with me. NO FUCKEN CALL BACK YET. So, I decided to call the cops myself in my little town. They told me it was out of their jurisdiction because of where it happened, and to all that detachment. Then that detachment told me these ones can do the interviews and take the statements because we were all here. Then, again, no fucken call back Monday. But she did call this morning, but couldn't do them today. So, I take in my girls at 11 in the morning to talk about what they seen and went through. Fuck my life. I hope they'll be okay. I'm scared for them. But I can honestly say, that they seem so strong. It's fucken horrible what they went through, especially by the hands of their fucken dad- but they seem to be okay.

Idk what the next steps will be, or what exactly is going to happen, but I do know, they're safe and they have me. We will get through this. I keep thinking about counseling. Talking to someone who is a professional might be what's best. I just need to figure all of this out. I'm just trying to catch up on things they haven't done their young lives, like eye appointments, dentists, and dr check ups. Did their eyes today, they all need glasses. 😳

But this is all I know. Pray for us. I hope for better days and for them to get through all this shit. My heart hurts for them so much. But I'm trying to be the best mum they need right now.

Until next time. ✌

#allofme #thisisme #resiliency #runsthroughourblood #strongandbrave #scaredshitlesstho

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porfirioenserafinakg73insur-blog · 5 years ago

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