#divorced girldad

[birdears]

i dont think u can overstate how much i need to fuck chilchuck tims

[aq2003]

alec hardy has what jotaro kujo also has

[somewherefornow]

[fr-likes-chocolate]

Everyone say thank you Wild life for giving us the following:

Scaridarity

Scarian divorce (and marriage again)

Grumbo marriage

Widow Grian

Scott x BigB as creaking

Scarlet Pearl

Seablings team

Dogwarts reunion

BigB being unsettling

Tango hitting his breaking point and going feral

Jimmy’s canary curse confirmed to be broken

The four Gs (gaslight gatekeep girlboss girldad)

Actually it’s 5 now since Etho is their ally so add grandpa

Jimmy escaped that coal mine but Mumbo fucking didn’t

Snail thought experiment gone wrong

[mecachrome]

if u know me u know i'm obsessed with girldad 814 so i finally finished some comics i sketched an eternity ago :_) been really artblocked so everything is v messy but it is what it is... - lando would 100% be the Annoying Milestone Dad who thinks HIS child is more special and important than everyone else's (also he can't spell picasso) - miss evie (evelyn) norris-piastri goes through a phase where she demands to "play cars" every morning at 5am and it continues for so long that lando threatens divorce - i just think landoscar deserve a baby..............

[kianaisspiraling]

*inhales*

WILD LIFE WILD LIFE WILDLIFEWILDLIFEWIL—

Okay okay so so far I've only watched Grian's pov but I'm gonna be binging soooo many others right after this.

First off- Skizz, Mumbo and Grian is just. Such an unexpected and silly group, I love them. Skizz, loyal to the bone. Grian, loyal but can switch sides if needed; won't betray you first. And Mumbo; the least loyal guy on the server, goes completely bonkers the moment he turns red

They also all just like. Carry themselves so seriously? But will very quickly devolve into being incredibly silly? So so silly. They will NOT last long, they're gonna fall apart faster than the Southlands for sure with the cheating allegations Mumbo is throwing at Grian, but it'll be hilarious :)

Grian: apologizing for knowing the wild cards beforehand

Me: smiles and adds it to the pile of Watcher Grian lore

Moving on from them:

*inhales again*

MISSING DOG FOUND-?!?

AND WE GOT TREEBARK BACK!!!!!! :D

The sheer happiness I felt when I saw Ren back oh my void, we missed you buddy. Martyn immediately pairing up with Ren whenever they are on the same server has my heart. They're theatre kids your honor. Can't wait to see Ren pull out his guitar <3

We also have TEAM CRINGE-FAIL-?! Lizzie, Scar, Jimmy all on the same team-? That's amazing. It would be hilarious if THIS is the season Tim wins. SURELY having such a high concentration of loser (affectionate) energy will circle around to make them clutch. Surely. It's their moment.

Smth smth, Lizzie and Scar were the only two people alone last season. Smth smth, Lizzie died first and Scar last. Smth smth, Scar reaches out an unconditional hand to Lizzie, offering her an ally because he knows what it's like to be without. Smth smth, Lizzie accepts because she knows waiting for allies leads to none. They're friends now :)

I also heard Scar brought the reputation points back?? If that's true then oml we're so close to getting a Third Life parody. So so close, especially with Scar falling off a cliff and dying while singing, claiming that everything that touches the light is his. It is SUCH a good season for us folks that never left the desert. Bonus points if Grian ends up with Scar after the Sub-One Club inevitably crumbles.

We've ALSO got the op, terrifying duo of Gem and Joel. They are going to be SO unhinged. They will be the chaos group this season, mark my words. They will inevitably fuck shit up and I am WAITING for it. Manifesting Gem or Joel win >:)

And over here we've got three of the divorce quartet (Scott, Pearl, and Cleo) allied with the local supportive dad (Impluse). Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone outside or in between, we once again have the girls, the gays, and ImpulseSV. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, girldad <3

The three of them just reminiscing on Double Life while Impulse stays quiet, internally remembering his little life in the suburbs with Bdubs as they stirred the pot and watched drama unfold. He DOES NOT have anything to add to this conversation on messy divorce.

Also apparently Scott canonically believes that HE'S the reason Jimmy broke the canary curse and Scar won in secret life?? Because he stopped them from allying together last season or something?? That's just wonderful to me. I don't think he's entirely wrong either, they would've destroyed each other SO quickly

Now, getting on to BigB and whatever he's got going on. Something DEFINITELY happened to him in that hole last season, because he is getting increasingly cryptic. OF COURSE he would live in the Pale Garden with the Creaking. Where else would he go??

I absolutely love everyone making BigB a Creaking hybrid, but hear me out: BigB has ALSO been made a watcher by the fandom in previous seasons because of things like the Nosy Neighbors in Limited Life and his Whole Thing in Secret Life, right? You know what the Watchers are often compared to? Biblically accurate angels. You know what the Creaking has been compared to? Weeping Angels. BigB is a Weeping Angel.

(Maybe Weeping Angels are a type of Watcher. they're closely related to the Creaking; perhaps they made it?)

(I have not watched Doctor Who, though I'd like to. All I know is that Weeping Angels are VERY Watcher-core to me <3)

Finally we have a classic trio of Etho, Bdubs, and Tango. They're taming horses, they're non-stop bickering, they DO NOT share, it's every man for themselves. Tango is third wheeling Ethubs so much rn. They get on each other's nerves. They're besties, after all they keep putting themselves together no matter how much they bicker. Team BET ily <3

Love that Etho IMMEDIATELY tries to ally with the local Watcher for inside information, but Grian refuses to give it to him. It was worth a shot, buddy. I adore every second of screen time in which Grian and Etho interact. They are SUCH a good duo for me. One Stick Wither and Etho's Dishwasher, you will forever be famous <3

Anyhow, I think that covers everything I have to say for now, having watched one pov and scrolled Tumblr for a while. I cannot WAIT for this season, as there's a lot of stuff from previous seasons coming back, with Renchanting, the divorce quartet, Scar bringing back reputation points, and more. I can't wait to see this unfold :D

[joot-aro]

ok elaborating on this au since it's been rattling around in my head for a while

jotaro is a pretty widely known detective across the country. he used to have a detective agency with his wife but they got divorced (jolyne lives with her mom, and she refuses to speak with him) so he's been traveling a lot over japan from place to place. he's also sort of infamous for fucking up solving a murder case several years ago (back when he was still with his wife) so there's generally a bunch of rumors/distrust that follows him wherever he goes. he arrives in morioh because he thinks it has a tie to his unsolved murder case. he also hates it there so bad

kakyoin is the local detective in morioh. despite being sort of an outcast to the town growing up he knows it very very well. as an adult he has lots of connections to the people in morioh and they basically go to him to solve their problems. there have been exactly zero murders in the town though so kakyoin has spent his detective career solving things like minor robberies and hounding the local news to make sure they report on everything correctly. that is until a kid gets murdered and there's suddenly this new, clearly-more-experienced-with-murder-cases detective in town and to kakyoin's deep annoyance he now has to rely on someone else to help him do his job

rohan. yes he is in this au. he's a reporter and he's made it his life goal to take down jotaro's career. why on earth he wants to do that neither jotaro nor kakyoin know (well. jotaro has his suspicions but won't divulge details) but he's recently moved back to morioh and is working with the local newspaper and is generally making their lives a lot harder. to their annoyance he is the only person there that jotaro and kakyoin know for 1000% certain did not do the murder; he got there by plane shortly after jotaro arrived. besides him though morioh is a small town and basically everyone living in it is a suspect

some more thoughts about this au i'm not 100% solid on but i'll be referencing more of broadchurch so there will be major spoilers for it under the cut:

jotaro has had heart problems for a majority of his life but they worsened a lot when he was working on the failed case w/ his wife. i think what basically played out there is a 1:1 with hardy failing the sandbrook case, ie his wife lost really key evidence bc she was cheating on him but he took the blame for the loss of evidence instead and now HE has he-was-cheating-on-his-wife-and-that-ruined-the-case allegations on his head. he does not regret taking this fall but he does regret how jolyne now distrusts and hates him for it

i'm not 100% sure how i will translate the murderer being miller's husband. obviously kakyoin aroace and the only way he'd get married would be for tax benefits but also i want him to have a connection to the killer for this. so the murdered kid in this au is probably shigechi or koichi (leaning shigechi bc it's closer to broadchurch but w koichi you could do more with the diu cast) and the killer will obv be kira. my running idea is that kakyoin as the local protector of sorts of the town lets ppl live in his house if they're rly struggling and need support, and kira was one of these ppl and maybe over the course of his stay forms a genuine friendship w kakyoin and gets tax benefit married. in the hypothetical fic for this that will never happen the pov narration would never mention the name of jotaro's wife just like it would never mention the name of kakyoin's tax benefit marriage husband until the murderer gets revealed, but having blonde hair and liking cats would be mentioned lol

THE GRAPES SCENE. i can so clearly picture jotaro and kakyoin as this. they chase after someone that they almost know for sure they're the killer but jotaro fuckin collapses and kakyoin chooses to save him instead of catching the murderer. he brings jotaro seedless grapes in the hospital and tells him to choke on the seeds and leaves jotaro's like "wait fuck come back. kakyoin. don't tell the reporters that i'm basically on death's door trying to solve the case oh my god"

i kind of definitely want one of the diu cast to be the psychic from the show. probably tonio because his whole deal is looking super suspicious but actually having good intentions. maybe for kicks he's like "i have this psychic power called a 'stand' that lets me commune with the recently dead if i make food for them" and everybody thinks he's fucking crazy

day 28 of jotaro month: alone/comfort/reflection

[swinging in to jotaro month almost a month late with a coffee] does anybody want to hear about my jotaro kakyoin broadchurch au

[crimeofacentury]

MASTERLIST OF BOTS!!

CHALLENGERS ☆彡

Ghost face Artrick : art and Patrick as Scream Ghostface who pay you a visit...

NEW! Bar Patrick and Art: You catch their eye and they want to buy you a drink…

Party Art Donaldson : you and art share a kiss at a frat party...

Baby Daddy Art Donaldson : you and Art are expecting from a one night stand….

Sugar Daddy Art Donaldson : older-divorced! Art Donaldson is your coach AND sugar daddy…

NEW! Fanboy Art Donaldson : Art is your biggest fan…

NEW! Girldad Art Donaldson: You and Art share daughters who are his whole personality…

NEW! Married Art Donaldson: You know his wife wouldn’t mind…

NEW! DILF Art Donaldson: You paint his and Lilys’ face at the fair…

DC ミ★

Barry Allen : somethings changed about you…

MARVEL / XMEN : ☆彡

Baby daddy Charles Xavier : you and Charles are expecting from a one night stand….

Peter Parker : someone’s got a crush on the new girl…

HARRY POTTER ミ★

Daphne Greengrass : a modern AU where you just got posted on Hogwart express…

Marvel x Marauders James Potter: the reality stone somehow transported you to a magic, British place… with someone who looks exactly like your dead ex…

Puffs Wayne Hopkins : he really really really wants to go to Hogsmeade with you…

NEW! Theo Nott: you’ll do it for him, won’t you?

GLEE ☆彡

Quinn Fabray: she’s just curious about the new girl, that’s all…

OCS ミ★

Marvel Carmen Connors : a supe who REALLY hates superheroes…

Ice Skater James Butler : your little sister does his makeup…

One day I’ll do a full intro to all of these bots but for right now this will do…

[makingmenfightforme]

Propaganda under cut

Atem

well gorsh mr atem I could never say no to a pretty man like you, I wouldn't even dream of it! Why, it'd only be common courtesy to fall to my hands and knees and worship the ground you walk on hehe

Chilchuck

Girldad LOSERRRRRR he's just a guy but so so not normal. He makes looting 100x harder for himself because he's irrationally scared of mimics and makes it harder to combat them. He's divorced and like idk I kinda like that y'know..... sloppy seconds-

[wordstome]

What are the dads’ favorite bonding activities with their kids? 🥺

hello friend!!

Price: I like to imagine Price's girls are engaged in all sorts of extracurricular activities from ballet to the school play. I think his favorite bonding activity with them would be taking them out to eat after a recital or a performance. Just his little ladies and some good old greasy spoon diner food: what else could a man want? And you know that when the girls grow up, those nights are going to be some of their fondest childhood memories.

Ghost: Caden is a parallel play kind of kid. He's quietly doing his little crayon drawings next to Simon watching a tv show. I could also see them bonding when Simon takes Caden out to run errands with him, groceries and stuff. Caden gets a bit of socialization, and Simon is there if he gets overwhelmed and needs a bit of comfort. It really brings them together: the kid knows that no matter how distant his dad can be, he can always rely on Simon.

Soap: JOCK ALERT. His favorite bonding activity is taking his kids to the park. Impromptu soccer games, roleplaying on the playground equipment, buying them ice cream on a hot summer day. When Elodie's older, she stops going, preferring to hang out with friends or do her own thing. But I can see wayyyy in the future when she's an adult, she'll have a lot of nostalgia for those days and will love going on walks with her dad.

Gaz: Kyle is a planned activities kind of man, a very take the kids to Disney World and make lifetime memories sorta guy. Every summer the family gets an airbnb by the lake, and every winter they're off at a ski lodge. (Here's to that delicious, delicious dual income household.) Violet and Elliott are always the kids blowing into the first day of class full of stories about all the fun stuff they got up to over the summer.

König: Dress-up. Come on, you knew this was coming. He's so girldad. Ava can't keep her hands out of her dad's luscious locks, and loves making him paper crowns because of his callsign (he definitely speaks German with her at home so she knows what it means). He also buys Ava those big plastic playsets that are a grocery checkout or a little kitchen and roleplays little scenarios with her. Ava's a militant chef, by the way. She would make a great line cook.

Horangi: Concerts with his daughter, Ryujin. Probably a few raves, as well. Ryujin's a punk rock and indie scene kinda gal, but she'll listen to anything, and has a few favorite kpop groups whose concerts she's dragged Hong-jin to. He's a diehard Once (fan of the girl group Twice) himself. They've also definitely gotten a few tattoos/piercings together, which would be an odd thing to do with your dad if Ryujin's dad were not so cool.

Keegan: Same as Johnny, except instead of taking his kids to safe parks and soccer fields, he takes them into the woods. Camping, fishing, teaching them a bunch of useful skills. It's such a "things your divorced dad does with you when he doesn't know what else to do for the weekend you're staying with him" activity, but Jason and Cecelia have never had someone do those things with them before, so they're having a good time. Other than that, laser tag and airsoft is a big one. Keegan was hesitant to get them into stuff like that, but they've always been curious about his military career and things just sort of escalated from there. I saw this tiktok of a cosplayer in a Logan mask captioned "when you're playing airsoft with your 15-year spec ops dad" and it's the cosplayer plastering themselves against a wall in terror: that's Keegan's kids. He's not going to hold back when he plays, and they don't want him to.

[quadrupleangst]

CHILCHUCK!!!!!!!

@ranchjustranch

most recent image in your camera roll is your soulmate.

my love....

mutuals who is your great love

@theazurebug @mistermeanor @nikosgames @ianhoolihandeluxe @therealsophieelizabethfoster @thenotherkid

[buggiebeetlesposts]

CHILCHUCK! MY FAV DIVORCED GIRLDAD!✨

[charactersmashorpass-2]

"Divorced girldad and overall wine aunt energy"

"DILF"

"Ive seen the rest of the main cast on here but not chilchuck or kabru yet. I just wanna see what people think about this man."

"He looks like a teen but is actually a middle aged man with 3 kids and a wife. A union leader. His vibes are immaculate. I wanna bounce him on my hips like a pogo, god bless."

[vampirehizzies]

@satisaranea @persephoneprice @thefloatingwriter @ylvisruinedmylife @comradekarin

@relentlessescapism @101jackalope @little-de-vil @sparklebear11

@atefingersdagger

[moon-jellie]

He’s afraid of change he’s not good at anything he’s essential to the business his drivers license is expired he’s a girldad he’s divorced he’s deeply in love with his ex wife he’s a deeply closeted gay man he’s a childhood best friend to a dead man he’s a nepo baby minus the bloodline he doesn’t have his food handling license he’s trying to cut back on slurs he doesn’t want to ask hardware store employees for help. I didn’t say his name but he popped into your head

[thatstormygeek]

Like a lot of unfathomably wealthy people who have the resources to harvest their own beef, Zuckerberg now reportedly considers himself a “libertarian.” He has spent a lot of time in recent years attempting to cultivate a personal brand as a sort of happy-go-lucky #GirlDad. His new politics are not as ominous or viscerally off-putting as the red-pilled divorced energy of Elon Musk. But they are a politics. Deciding that you no longer want to advocate for a path to citizenship as part of comprehensive immigration reform is as political as the act of advocating for it was. Responding to years of conspiracy theories and personal attacks from conservative politicians by cultivating closer relationships with them is a political tactic. According to the report, Zuckerberg twice talked to Donald Trump by phone this summer, while his new Republican political attache has sought to reassure the ex-president that Zuckerberg has no plans to spend money shoring up election infrastructure this year. It does not really get more political than a pleasant phone call with a man who tried a coup. Zuckerberg’s efforts to discourage political activism among Meta employees (per the piece) mirror his own efforts to discourage political content on the platforms he controls, such as Facebook and Instagram. Attempting to mute or disincentivize political speech is, of course, a political act, and it betrays an ominous worldview. In that sense, at least, he and Musk aren’t so different; they’re collectively building a “digital public square” where you can find everything but reported, factual news. Zuckerberg has made it clear that he is frustrated with specific kinds of political speech—including criticism of him. The truth is there is no such thing as an apolitical oligarch. Zuckerberg’s fortune came from a monopolistic enterprise that’s been used to foment ethnic cleansing and collectively unlearn a century-and-a-half of germ theory. His wealth is sustained and protected by political structures, and his spending and strategic priorities can make or break communities, newsrooms, and democratic norms. When he puts his foot down, you notice it. But when he lifts his foot up, you notice that too.