#ditto that this is not an angry rant

[pumpkinprincess22]

Butting in slightly because you have unlocked Classics Student Rose TM. There is a misconception about 'the original version' of myths (we literally had a lecture about this the other day) Myths come from an oral tradition where things changed and were developed.

Even works like The Iliad and Odyssey which we consider to be 'canon' had different versions and other lesser known works portrary different versions of the Trojan War myth.

The myths of Persephone and Hades are no exception. There are versions where Persephone goes willingly. The Homeric Hymn to Demeter is probably the most well known version but by no means the only.

I completely agree about the 'feminist retelling' point though. I am writing my dissertation on Medusa in modern fiction and the number of authors who completely ignore the complexities of Medusa myths and portrayals in the classical world in favour of 'victim reclaiming her own story'. Its why the Percy Jackson TV interpretation is interesting because it marries the Monster stories with the Victim.

You and I share a lot of the same literary opinions so I want to know your opinion on this Some people are waaay too invested in a lot of the retelling and essentially remakes of mythology and not the actual history of the myths. For example, Hades and Persephone's origin, where she was literally kidnapped by the god, sure they might have had the "more stable" marriage compared to Zeus and Hera, but it still not great. (It is a mythological marriage from a culture that had horrible views on women)

Ares as the absolute bloodthirsty monster when he was originally a protector of women

Even the humans in myths aren't free from it when I see people get genuinely para-social fandom with Odysseus when analyzing the myth compared to the musical and video games that feature the character.

The modern interpretation of myths have made a lot of people forget the origins and should anyone base something on the original myth it gets extreme hate. I played a game where Persephone killed Hades because he kidnapped her, which is a valid interpretation and continuation of the myth. That is not saying one can't prefer or like the retellings, I find the more modern interpretation of the Hades and Persephone myth great (it is just the most common example rn), but people can't neglect the original myth.

I could go on a fucking tangent about the hades and Persephone myth.

Because it’s not even that, it’s literally called ‘Hymn to Demeter’… It’s about a woman literally defying the gods in order to get her daughter back from the underworld. It wasn’t a tale of an overbearing parent, but a loving one, she wasn’t against Hades and Persephone because age gaps, or whatever, she was against her daughter being taken away from her, or, in a metaphorical sense, dying. It was a tale to give power back to mothers and young girls forced into arranged marriages, where the daughters were taken away from their families, and it was also to make people feel less intimidated by death, as it also promised to the followers of Persephone intimate knowledge about the underworld.

But I’ll stop about that. I think some of the modern interpretations are cool, they just lack the meaning of the original tale.

I think a lot of modern retellings are trying too hard to make myths ‘comfortable’ and sanitised, instead of merely adapting them to the new context. They want Hades and Persephone without the work, so they make Demeter an overbearing parent, as it’s the best they can do to make Hades and Persephone ‘okay’.

I’m not very well-versed in other myths, but honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if similar issues ensued. I know some have changed certain things in order to get their point across, if they’re trying to emphasise certain points, which I think is excusable, to an extent. But when you’re changing something so *fundamental*, it gets so fucking jarring.

I also think retellings need to stop using such negative language about the original. ‘Feminist retelling’ ‘giving a voice to characters that didn’t originally have one’ and it’s not feminist or giving a voice to the voiceless, it just talks about the original in a really non-helpful way. It just gives people the idea that original myths are these terrible out-of-date stories and not the basis for so much modern literature.

[ch4mpagnedrought]

compensation

[full series]

mdni ! art donaldson

summary: you and art cant help but try and compensate for everything you’re missing out on now that tashi and patrick are together.

ever since tashi had suggested a game of tennis for her number and patrick won, its left you and art to roam around the stanford campus like two little lost puppies, begging for their attention when patrick comes to visit tashi.

patrick has made it impossible to get a hold of the girl, her dorm room always locked and her absence in the daily work-outs the two of you usually have made very obvious. not to mention the betrayal art must be feeling, having his best friend be only in the adjacent building to him, but never coming to actually see him.

you’ve had to find ways to preoccupy yourselves, and stop you from going on an angry rampage, like;

hitting racket to ball in the middle of the court, not even bothering to play a real game. “my prof is making me rewrite my whole assignment this week.” you complain, aiming the ball at the green fencing at the sides and watching it bounce back in art’s direction for your own botched version of squash. he laughs loudly, “who knew you were so bad at everything besides tennis.” you shoot him a scowl and his eyes widen, shoulders shrugging unapologetically as he swings his arm once again.

spring fading into summer means that evenings still have a little light in them, and you fight the urge to lie straight down on the tarmac and look up at the greying sky. the light breeze washes through art’s strawberry blonde hair, swaying it to the side to expose his brows that furrow when you let the ball bounce away between your legs, looking at him with a tense expression. the thought that tashi and patrick were somewhere doing god knows what (you knew what) and completely ignoring you made a reappearance in your head suddenly, and it boiled your blood. “ugh! im gonna kill them!” you huff out, grabbing the ball from the ground and stomping to where you left your stuff. art’s arm finding the both of your shoulders, “ditto that.”

having lunch at the food hall together: waiting in line for the same exact salad that you get every day, curtesy of your game-preparation meal plan and taking a seat on the bar stools that overlook the rest of the campus. stabbing your fork into the frail pieces of lettuce in your plastic bowl, art taking another bite of his churro in silence and licking away all the rouge sugar particles from his lips. “you know, patrick didn’t even bother to call me about his visit.” art says, taking off his red baseball cap just to put it back on his head again. “what a dog.” you scoff, shaking your head and taking a sip of your smoothie that tastes a little grainy from the protein powder. you would’ve continued to rant if you hadn’t spotted tashi and patrick walking hand-in-hand in the distance, all smiles and giggles; it makes you sick. “look.” you point it out to art and he mocks patrick in a high-pitched voice, “hey tashi aren’t i so cool? i play pro and i’m totally not cheating on you.” you chuckle, leaning over to snag a bite of his churro.

and confiding in each other in art’s dorm late at night, when the haunting noises coming from the other side of your wall get too much.

his room is surprisingly so…boyish. a couple posters of tennis stars on the walls that seem so out of place, like he put them there for the sole purpose of taking up space. his medals are hung up on the corner of his wardrobe, tinkering on the edge and there is an unidentified pile of clothing in the corner.

his sheets are a deep maroon colour and you lie flat across them, both of your heads leaning on the single flat pillow he owns, legs crossed. his ceiling has remnants of a water leak the university tried to paint over and you study it from below. “i wonder what they’re doing right now.” art hums, putting his hands behind his head, and letting you rest your head on his bicep.

you shoot up, glancing down at him, one brow lifted and eyes narrow, “i can tell you exactly what they’re doing right now,” you say, scrambling up onto your knees, “’patrick i need your racket right now!’’’ you moan tauntingly, rolling your eyes back and crossing your arms over your chest. art cackles, stomach contracting and grabbing onto your shoulder for support. his hand is pumping warm with blood, hovering over your skin for longer than socially acceptable, and his fingers caressed by the long strands of your curly hair that fall at your sides.

running over to his room meant that you hadn’t had enough time to grab a change of clothes to sleep in, so he graciously lent you one of his t-shirts, a navy one with white embroidered writing that you hadn’t bothered to read, which prods at the aching in his head to see you without it.

“when was the last time you slept with someone?” your question catches art off guard, lying back down next to him and watching the blush creep up onto his cheeks, eyes darting away somewhere to think of an answer. “oh come on, was it that unforgettable?” you laugh. he knew when exactly when the last time was, but the thought that him sleeping with someone had crossed your mind, putting the idea of the two of you together into his own had clouded his head, making it unbearably difficult to think, or speak.

“maybe last month” art estimates when the last time he saw the girl in one of his classes that he casually slept with from time to time, your expression remaining unchanged, which whirls something inside of his stomach. you nod, smile spreading across your lips, and eyes glancing down to art’s partially parted ones. art adjusts himself, propping his head up with his hand and looking down at you, “when was the last time that you slept with someone?”

its unclear to him whether you're joking with your response. “ask me that tomorrow.” it spins his head until he sees double, having to shut his eyes for a second to regain consciousness. your nonchalant smile quite frankly irks him, because you seem so unaware of how he is sliding the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip, preparing just incase you decide that you want to kiss him. or the fact that he moved his leg upwards along the bed to cover his raging boner at just the mere idea of you and him together.

the shirt he lends you rides up on your hips, obviously showing off the black panties that you’re wearing and the neck-line hangs low enough to show the indent of your collarbone that he imagines licking a stripe over.

you thrum, looking up at art through dark eyelashes, “isn’t it so unfair how tashi and patrick can ignore us just to get at each other?”

he got the hint, every crumb you’ve put down he’s followed and scooped up all in one go, sighing out a weak, “yeah” that sounds more like a whine, and leaning down to kiss you on the lips.

the taste of your lip gloss he had missed sweetens his mouth immediately and the faint smell of a chocolatey lotion on your skin sends him into complete overdrive, left hand desperately reaching for the side of your face to take you deeper into him. he sinks himself down, pressing his chest into yours and disconnecting his lips to breathe out a groan at the sensation of your boobs against him like a boy who's never felt them before.

his face is burning hot, lips even hotter as they move simultaneously with yours, covering the perimeter of your mouth with long and drawn out movements to fully get the taste of you hes been dreaming of ever since that hotel room. his hands roam down to the curvature of your waist, taking a strong grip to it to make sure his fingerprints forever remember it, then down to your hips, kneading the flesh.

with him over you, he pulls away from your arms that are wrapped around his neck, pulling the hem of his shirt to unveil your midriff and the black lace that frames your lower waist, your thighs pressed together to catch the heat that he manifests within you, “oh my god.” it might just be the lewdest sight he has ever seen, along with your swollen lips that are glistening with his saliva.

he can barely keep away the moans that try to escape his mouth when he lowers himself down to you, eager lips pressing into your hip, lapping at the surface of your skin with a desperation only art could have, along the hem of your panties, and back up your stomach while your fingers entangle with his blonde locks.

your pulse quickens, exhaling his name out when his finger pulls your underwear to the side, letting the air hit your leaking core, a smile playing at art’s lips. “please, please art.” you moan out, squeezing your eyes shut and letting the sensation of one of his digits swiping through your folds overcome you.

he nibbles at your inner thighs, soft licks soothing the area as one of his fingers slides inside you, while the other gropes at your breast through your shirt. his mind is completely consumed by you, watching every change in your expression with his fingers pumping in and out of you, flush on your face and brows knitting every time he draws back.

your legs instinctively move over his shoulders, trapping him around you to continue the motion and giving him the chance to tilt his head to the side, pressing a kiss to the thigh that is thrown over him. “is this okay?” he asks, caressing a hand down your calf and watching the way your hand reaches out to grab him by the wrist.

“lie down art” you keen, his eyes narrow and he pulls back with a sense of confusion that is overrode with your impatience, ushering him below you. so he does, leaning against the headboard whilst you throw yourself onto his hips, his jaw tilting upwards to unconsciously fulfil the want of his lips devouring the whole of your figure.

the shirt he lent you doesn’t last long, ending up in the pile on his floor and letting him ravish in the sight of your bare torso. he gasps out your name, wandering hands reaching out to massage your breast, flesh filling out the gaps between all five of his fingers. “take this off” you strangle out, gesturing to the shirt he is wearing, disheveled hair falling back into his face that burns hot when you let your eyes roam down to his abdomen. even the weight of your ass pressing into his dick through his shorts is teetering him to climax, hands not knowing where to put themselves when he wants to grab a hold of all of you.

your fingers wrap around the waistband of his shorts that he is wearing, pulling down his boxers at the same time and freeing his erection to slap back onto his stomach, recalling something patrick said about the time he taught art to jerk off. the palm of your hand ghosts his cock, restraining yourself from taking it into your hands there and then, “can i?” even the way you sigh out the question has the hairs on art’s arms standing up and mouth swallowing saliva in anticipation. “yes, yes.” he whines, brows furrowing up at you and all of his muscles tensing.

with a gentle touch, he guides you above him, his hands at your sides as you spread yourself open for him, sinking down only to the tip before he grabs your waist and pauses in the position. he looks like a little helpless, bottom lip between his teeth and an alarmed look in his face that says if you go any further he’ll come right now. “i’ll go slow,” you whisper, a small smirk on your face that’s hard to resist when his shimmering eyes try to find the last slither of dignity within him, “i promise.” you smile reassuringly and he glances away, the flush in his cheeks getting a little deeper.

you keep your promise, slowly lowering yourself down onto him, goosebumps fevering your skin and palms laying flat across his abdomen to steady yourself.

taking him in completely, you whimper out his name and his hands journey to graze your back, up to your shoulder blades where he presses them into you to pull you into him, mouth suctioning down the valley of your breasts. his moans vibrate back into your skin when you pull back up from him, stimulating every single nerve ending in his length like it never has before. you set a pace, slow and steady for art, snapping your hips down onto his in a way that knocks the wind out of you each time, gasping for air. he keeps you close to him, rolling his hips to meet you in the middle and put some of that athlete stamina to use and murmuring your name with every movement.

his finger moves your hair from your shoulder, so he can press soft pecks onto the surface, whilst you clutch the wooden headboard, growing impatient and consequently pounding him into you. his moans purr into your ear, grabbing onto your ass to keep you still as he thrusts himself into you from below and shakily calling out an, “im gonna come.”

you nod, clasping around his biceps and leaning down to nip at his neck, losing composure the more your walls contract around him. you ignore the muscles in your legs that ache and your lungs that can’t seem get a hold of the air that is shared between you to continue to mercilessly plunge him deeper into you until it feels like you’re melting into one another, a shudder sending itself down your bare back and deepening the heat that builds in your core.

art is panting, popping your tit into his mouth one last time before falling still, twitching inside of you and releasing all of his seed into you until it overflows from below. your name echoes out of his mouth, whimpering and whining it out until he can open his eyes back up and centre his vision on you burning every last bit of energy to bounce on his dick.

you lean forward onto him, eyes rolling back into your head when reaching your climax and pressing your burning cheek against his face to feel all of him. he brushes his hand down your back comfortingly, you heaving into the crevice of his neck that glistens with sweat and feeling your walls contract around him the last couple times.

art sighs your name out, pressing his lips into your cheek and letting a smile spread across his face when you brush the dampened hair out of his forehead to get a better view of his eyes.

your body feels limp, falling back down next to him with a post-sex fatigue that follows you all the way into the next morning, where you sit at a table in the food hall, thanking art for bringing you some breakfast and trying to ignore the echoing of all the noises he made last night in your head.

“fuck i really need to work on that assignment today” you groan, taking a bite into a slice of honeydew with your head in the palm of your hand. art watches and nods, a false portrayal of an active listener when what he’s really focusing on is the way your lips curl around the slice, biting off a chunk and closing your lips around it in a way that makes him reminisce that he was right there too only a couple hours ago. “i can help.” he offers, truly from the kindness of his heart that kindly wants to spend the rest of his life looking at you.

“you wish.” you scoff, “i’m not allowed to be alone in a room with you anymore.”

art takes a swig of his water to hide the grin that spreads on his face, and when he makes eye contact with a random student from across the hall he feels like they heard that too. he wishes they could hear, and know that you, the best tennis player stanford has probably ever had, are having to physically restrain yourself from him.

“what are you smiling about?” the familiar voice of patrick calls out from a few strides away, in a pair of indigo levis and a white tee, grabbing onto arts shoulders and lowering himself down to his level to grab his chin playfully. art swats him away immediately, pushing patrick down into a chair. and tashi grazes your shoulders softly with her hand when taking a seat next to you and stealing a piece of your fruit from your bowl, “good morning.”

“morning.” you sigh out, taking a sip of your tea and hoping that it isn’t totally obvious that you slept with your friend. but tashi takes notice of the slight frizz in your hair, a dishevelled-ness that is never usually there, so it wasn’t her intention to call you out in front of the four of you when she asks, “why do you look hungover?” she even moves a piece of your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear to get a better look at the colour under your eyes. your brows furrow, eyes glancing to the left of you at the two boys whose expressions couldn’t be anymore different. art’s poker face is awful, he’s trying to keep his face composed but his posture slumps under the weight of patrick’s hand that spreads across over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth turned up into a smirk.

you shrug nonchalantly, taking another bite of your breakfast to act like your lungs aren’t constricting and you aren’t going into fight or flight, “late night i guess.”

theres a moment of silence, everyone in their heads peacefully while you wish you could get into art’s and find out what he’s thinking about your pathetic lie.

“nice shirt.” patrick says.

“thanks." you reply, swiping over the embroidered ‘mark rebellat tennis academy’ with a finger and looking up at patrick, who meets your eyes with a knowing smirk that makes you feel silly for not assuming that patrick would have memorised art’s whole closet, or recognise the school they went to.

and when patrick squeezes art’s shoulder and asks whether he is “up for a game?” you suddenly become hyper aware of how much his gaze slips past art’s eyes and down onto you as they stand up from the table, eyes squinting and a stupid smile on his face. the combination is so piercing you’ve become aware that even if tashi believed your lie, and art thinks he’s got away scott free—he knows, and he’s letting you know.

his hand ruffles the hair on art’s head, arm falling over his shoulders and drawing him into himself, “we have a bunch of catching up to do, art.” he keeps art close to him as they walk away towards the tennis courts, leaning in to whisper something into his ear after the both of them briefly turned around to wave you and tashi goodbye.

tashi seems unphased by their behaviour, continuing to braid a small of piece of your hair that she unconsciously started. “you know patrick’s about to tell art all about your get together.” you chuckle and tashi scoffs, leaning back into her chair, “he wouldn’t say anything” she reassures, “also we didn’t even do anything.” she adds in quickly, stealing another piece of watermelon from your bowl and taking a bite to avoid talking about the topic like you hadn’t just done that. you smile at her, and she widens her eyes to let you know that she’ll tell you all about last night later.

“i wouldn’t be so sure.” you shake your head, stealing back the half-bitten melon from in between her fingers and finishing it off.

[tired-inyxe]

WIP - Batfam/Dc Tag Masterlist

This is ridiculously long so m putting it under cut, m gonna add more (YES MORE. THERES A LOTTA CHARACTERS OK???) tags when I feel like it but I wanna finalize my main master post later

#bat anatomy -batfam masterpost (and everything else dc)

#going batty -batfam analysis (typically angry)

#mailing pipe bombs -enraged at dc's writers

#honey im taking the kids -stuff about dc's poor treatment of the batkids (they're mine now fuck u)

#the bat -abt batman in all its forms (persona not a specific character)

#the bird -abt robin in all its forms (ditto)

#the shadows -abt every other persona in all their forms(because normal ppl dont know em)

#bernards pegboard -crack headcanons

#sandbox -headcanons

#my story now -my personal batfam timeline/story (because dc sucks at writing

#shoved in mahogany 6 feet under -wasted potential of any/all characters

#revived wings -my view of a bat characters true potential

#case files -panels/pages that I use for evidence abt canon

#bamboozled -fun canon comic panels that make me laugh

#goth cake -batfam art

#dysfunctional worms -batfam writing

#cave screeches -rambles, usually angry

#bats and birds -any and all posts that contain any of em

#batcape -anything Bruce

#disco girl -anything Dick

#pride and prejudice -anything Jason

#skateboards and spite -anything Tim

#kittens and knives -anything Damian

#dayshift -anything Duke

#potato waffles -anything Steph

#ballet shoes -anything Cass

#spot of tea -anything Alfred

#all seeing snark -anything Babs

#handmade guns and gender envy -anything Harper

#jaded red -anything Kate

#lack the worms dc edition -any character i dont know/care about enough to make a custom tag for (m sorry)

#revolving door -Rogues gallery

#REFORM THE DAMN JUSTICE SYSTEM YOU BILLIONAIRE -me complaining about dc's inability to make Bruce use his fuckin money and power to change the city, also any arkham/blackgate rants

#i stabbed him hes dead -anything joker

#bats and hounds -anything Harley

#eco friendly -anything Ivy

#shot him he's dead too -anything Black Mask

#strawman argument -anything Scarecrow

#your wife is dead -anything Mr Freeze (sorry not sorry)

#bipolar ableism but gay -anything Harvey

#scared of seals -anything Penguin

#neon green twink -anything Riddler

#broke b's spine -anything Bane

#leather catgirl -anything Selina

#back in the cell -every other rogue I don't care about

#god forbid a woman have hobbies -anything Thalia

#withering gamer -anything Ra's

#magic mountain dew -Lazarus pit

#assassin gamers -League of Assasins

#competent idiots -Justice League

#its just an s -anything Clark

#unbreakable porcelain -anything Diana

#retired at the speed of light -anything Barry

#zooming with the big leagues now -anything Wally

#h in adhd -anything the Flash persona

#neon green with a ring -anything Hal

#weak to yellow -anything Green lantern persona

#blowing bubbles -anything Arthur

#he stole the braincell -anything Jhon (theres an accent mark somewhere in there ill fix it later)

#batson but not yet adopted -anything Billy

#cigarette ash -anything Constantine

#fics favorite magician -anything Zatanna

#hijacked the mainframe -anything Cyborg

#signature chili -anything Ollie

#screech metal -anything Black Canary

#under the roundtable -everyone else in the Justice League

#every band eventually -og Teen Titans (they broke up)

#saltwater bubble blower -anything Garth

#tectonic shifter -anything Terra

#red threads and all -anything Red X

#i exploded him yw -anything Slade

#stronger than steel -anything Donna (might change)

#shapeshifting greenbean -anything Gar

#goth girls inspiration -anything Raven

#international incidents the team -Young Justice

#test tube baby -Anything Kon

#meep meep -anything Bart

#girlbossed zeus -anything Cassie

#rags to the grave -anything Greta

#arrows notched red -anything Cissie

#mosh pit winner -anything Anita

#panic at the disco -anything Slobo

again, theres still more. dc is an 80 year long series theres so many guys. also not sold on some of these so various tags may be subject to change

[emanation-aura]

Much obliged. As requested, a long and unhinged rant about why SHENHE AND YAE share CORAL DEFENDERS, SHINOBU AND HEIZOU use the damned RUIN SERPENT, MIKA is somehow in SUMERU, and much more.

(Be aware that I am just going to ignore release order because I want to make the boss material usage satisfying and don't care about the chronological order these characters released in.)

The Vishaps

First of all: what the actual fuck do either two characters have in common with the Dragonheirs?

"Shenhe fought Beisht in the Archon Quest Interlude 'The Crane Returns Upon the Wind', and it rewards Dragonheir's False Fin, so naturally she should use it—" NO. Logical fallacy. First of all, the Coral Defenders are explicitly Vishaps, and the Fin is 'a piece of biological tissue' found after defeating them. While we cannot actually confirm that Beisht isn't a Vishap, she doesn't look the part— like Osial before her, they both take the look of Hydro elemental god rather than adapting Dragonheirs/Vishaps (and you'd think Osial + wife being Vishap would be a bigger plot point if true). Anyway, why should a Fin that doesn't belong to Beisht be used as Shenhe's ascension material? Not only is Beisht a one-time boss in permanent game content, the Fin she gives for Shenhe does not even have any lore connection to her or Shenhe. The entire thing makes zero sense apart from Enkanomiya and Shenhe releasing at the same time. Ditto with Yae; you're telling me that Yae Miko uses Enkanomiya mats while someone like Kokomi doesn't?

(Btw, 'False Fin' explicitly refers to the fact that the appendage is not a fin and not 'this isn't a Dragonheir fin'.)

The only possible explanation is that Shenhe (Cryo) and Yae (Electro) compliment the Rimebiter and Bolteater Vishaps, which still doesn't make sense to me because other dual-element bosses don't have matching pairs; take Maguu Kenki, whose characters are Kazuha and Sayu despite using both Anemo and Cryo.

Most characters generally follow a trend with their boss drop of choice— mostly tied to element, like the Regisvines and Hypostases, or otherwise with pieces of lore that mirror or reflect the character's traits or quirks. And, most of the time, they stick to the same region as their nation, except in special cases like the Mond-Liyue codependency from early-game.

Conclusion: move Yae to Thundering Manifestation and complete the toxic Inazuma Electro OT3 with Sara and Raiden. Move Shenhe to the Cryo Hypostasis, which is criminally underused anyhow, and let her join Eula and Aloy and actually get people to go to Dragonspine again. Then delete this boss. (If people are screaming new region expansions need new bosses, then throw Kokomi at this, divert Ayato to the PMA, and then delete the Hydro Hypostasis. However, as the Hypostases are elemental beings we're much more likely to need to keep all seven of their variations around for some future lore development, so this is why I'd much rather delete the Vishap boss.)

That Damned Serpent

Do you know how angry this makes me? We all hate fighting the Ruin Serpent, but it is actively worse that the three characters that use it are Shinobu, Heizou, and Yelan, only one of which is native to Liyue, and Heizou doesn't have a single connection to this boss element and region-wise.

The only one of these that should plausibly even keep using the Ruin Serpent is Yelan, because she is a) Liyuen and b) deeply connected to the Chasm. No elemental connection is whatever in this case because it's a mechanical boss; Aeonblight Drake accommodating Wanderer and Nilou, for example.

Shinobu at least has plausible deniability to use the Ruin Serpent because of the events of the Archon Quest Interlude Perilous Trail (I'm starting to think Shenhe and Shinobu's implausible boss placements are due to them featuring in interludes). But there's nothing connecting Shinobu and the Serpent in a worthwhile way, and hey, guess what, if you wanted to have a boss for 'maverick' Inazuman characters, the Perpetual Mechanical Array exists!

(This is also a side argument to why Ayaka should not be using Perpetual Heart, because this is a Khaenri'ahn Hypostasis and it clashes with Ayaka's traditional ethos in every single way. Hey, on the topic of 'traditional swordwork' and 'dual-element bosses somehow getting dual-element character dependents', guess what Cryo sword-using boss exists in Inazuma? That's right, the Maguu Kenki! Both it and the PMA embody the concept of "abandoning the biological form for a stronger, mechanical form" as literally stated in both descriptions, so it's not like Ayaka loses any symbolism by switching from one to the other, also since both bosses also drop their hearts (Perpetual Heart and Marionette Core). It would also make far more sense to pair the foremost swordsmen/women of Inazuma against a sword puppet based on the work of Iwakura Michihiro, famous duellist of Inazuma.)

With that, we therefore take PMA to be the maverick boss of Inazuma for the un-traditional, non-sword-wielding characters (just like how the PMA is an unnatural mechanical imitation of the bionic Hypostasis lifeform): we move in Sayu from Maguu Kenki, keep Gorou or delegate him to Golden Wolflord, and finally we get to Shinobu and Heizou, who both are standouts in Inazuman society for their defiance of gender social roles and unique outlooks. Then delete this thing. I don't care if the Chasm needs a boss; this is not it.

Yelan, meanwhile, can join the Hydro Hypostasis. Bonus: if we boot Kokomi to the Coral Defenders or improved her goddamn strategist characterisation, we could have every single user of the Dew of Repudiation be an incredibly shady and suspicious Hydro user, which would be a perfect bowtie on top of fixing Inazuma.

Conclusion:

The Worst Thing to Ever Grace the Spiral Abyss

"Ok, so this is a rare Anemo boss that's not the Hypostasis, so we should use it for Anemo characters—" WRONG. Have Alhaitham, Dendro scholar of the forests, and Mika, Cryo and Mondstadt explorer who has nothing to do with Sumeru. This is especially sinful because of Mika, who was evidently only shoved at the Wenut because they released at a similar time. Let's try fix this.

We have two cases here: either delete this awful abomination, or keep it. In both cases we want to remove Alhaitham and Mika because their use of this boss' materials makes no goddamn sense; both the Setekh Wenut and its Pseudo-Stamens meta-wise are discussions on the erosion of the original species of Teyvat, of a "better and more prosperous time" that was lost to the sands of time, ultimately because they are mini-reflections of Apep and her lore, being colonised into oblivion by the Usurper.

So Alhaitham and Mika don't fit this. Mika is an easy fix: throw him at the Cryo Regisvine. It's a plain answer, but it's where all the Mond-Liyue early-game Cryo ones go, and the Regisvine is also located in Mondstadt and it's been so long since it's gotten a character that uses its mat that one more won't upset the balance (in fact, if we anachronistically remove Ganyu from the Cryo Regisvine and place her with the Primo Geovishap which all the adepti seem to use, it will still perfectly balance it out with the Pyro Regisvine).

Alhaitham is harder, though, because his MO doesn't fit Jadeplume Terrorshroom (Tighnari-and-Collei 'Forest Ranger Fungi style' exclusive) or the Dendro Hypostasis (Nahida-Kaveh 'closest to true wisdom style' with the cute little addition of Yaoyao). We could, of course, just put him with the Dendro Hypostasis anyway like how every early-game Electro was stuck with theirs.

Alternatively, we could place him with the Aeonblight Drake. This is not initially an obvious choice, but a close eye reveals that it is the 'maverick boss' of Sumeru where all the misfits go (see Layla, Nilou, and Wanderer). And while Alhaitham is not really a misfit on the surface, he fits the theming of the Aeonblight Drake: its entire schtick, similar to the PMA and Khaenri'ahn robots as a whole, is a 'perpetual energy source' and 'reaching for heights mortals should not achieve' (i.e. forbidden knowledge in lowercase). Alhaitham's thirst for knowledge, combined with his actions in the Sumeru Archon Quest, can suit this far more than the Setekh Wenut.

Now, if we have to keep the Wenut for some godforsaken reason, there's also an easy fix: let Wanderer use Wenut mats. He is both Anemo and embodies the "eroded past" theming of the Wenut perfectly. The only hurdle is that the Wenut released in 3.4 and Wanderer in 3.3, but as I've already stated, I don't care about time.

(You could also put Faruzan with the Wenut for the exact same reasons as Wanderer, down to her "eroded past" backstory. This, however, hinges on whether you think she's more closely tied to mechanical habits (ASIMON) or her 100-year crisis (Wenut). It makes no difference to me either way.)

Conclusion:

(aside: it is also pathetically easy to delete the Electro Regisvine from Sumeru. Move Cyno to ASIMON for his desert origins, as that seems to be the default 'desert' boss, and move Dori to Aeonblight Drake.)

Miscellaneous Changes

On the topic of Baizhu and Kirara, which started this post: delete the Iniquitous Baptist, or make it a quest-exclusive fight like Beisht was, for Search in the Algae Sea. I acknowledge that this removes some of the connectivity in Narzissenkreuz lore between the Rene-and-Jakob expedition in Sumeru and Jakob eventually turning into an Iniquitous Baptist, but there is really no reason to make it a world boss (or somehow insert it as a one-time boss in the 3.6 world quest as well, which could lay the foundations for the eventual fight with Jakob.)

Now, where to put Baizhu and Kirara? Jadeplume Terroshroom and Thundering Manifestation respectively, perhaps, but if we carry along the assumption of completely ignoring the release dates of characters, it makes far more sense for Baizhu to use Solitary Suanni, which doesn't match him elementally but is richer lore-wise for his connection via Changsheng to Chenyu Vale. Meanwhile, I see no reason why Kirara can't use Jadeplume Terrorshroom for the beast and wild connections.

Now, in Fontaine, there is also no reason why the Millennial Pearl Seahorse and Emperor of Fire and Iron need to exist. The EFI only services Lyney and Gaming, the latter of which should really also use Solitary Suanni via Chenyu connections, and the former can easily switch to Coppelius to better match his siblings (Lynette - Coppelia and Freminet - Coppelius). Lyney is even Pneuma-aligned, matching Coppelius. In particular, I feel as though the description of Coppelius' drop also matches Lyney on a personal level:

Coppelius's dance will not stop. He will continue whirling till the bell tolls.

This is Lyney's eventual role one day, since he will have to do whatever is necessary to succeed Arlecchino and manage the House of the Hearth. He will have to do whatever it takes.

The Millennial Pearl Seahorse currently is used by Neuvillette and Chevreuse. Neuvillette's case is lore-linked rather than by element: the Seahorse, alongside EFI, emerges from the Fontemer Aberrant War as a victor, and is implied to have caused 'the first diluvian period', perfectly coinciding with Neuvillette's Hydro Dragon lore and theming. I don't have so much of a problem keeping the Seahorse, but to reduce bloat, it could work to move Neuvillette to Hydro Tulpa (ignoring release dates, obviously) and Chevreuse to Prototype Cal. Breguet. Even if Chevreuse can be tentatively connected to the Seahorse by her kit Pyro + Electro -> Overload, she makes more sense with Breguet: used by Wriothesley and Charlotte before her, she'd also fit in with the 'mechanical' theming (Wriothesley - gauntlets, Charlotte - Monsieur Verite, AKA her camera, Chevreuse - her musket).

Neuvillette with Hydro Tulpa seems strange on the surface since the material is Water that Failed to Transcend, both relating to Rene (who is a corrupted version of this boss) and Furina (who is a fake Archon), but I also find it relatively easy to justify, even better than the Seahorse. Even though Neuvillette does 'transcend' in the end of the AQ thanks to Focalors' sacrifice, he is initially born as a Hydro Dragon reincarnation without the power or Authority originally due to him, therefore narratively making him somewhat similar to Furina— both people who are taking up positions without full authority. However, remember that boss drops are Character Ascension Materials, and Neuvillette's final "Conclusion" ascension voiceline explicitly states that he has regained his full power; in addition to this, the Hydro Tulpa as revealed in the Narzissenkreuz Quest is an agglomerisation of water with "countless (human) wills dissolved in water". It is a collection of human will. And Neuvillette's entire reason why he was hired as Iudex was to witness and learn to care for/love humanity, as evidenced by how he decides, in the end, to forgive humanity (as created by Egeria) with the force of his restored Authority, and believing in their will. Therefore, Neuvillette using the Hydro Tulpa, a collection of human wills that attempting to Transcend, coincides with this path perfectly: except he succeeds in Transcending with Focalors' sacrifice.

Conclusion:

This is about the majority of things I could say; if I had the will I could also rant about local specialties (hello Thoma why are you the only person who uses Tsurumi mushrooms?).

(Broke: Neuvillette should use Hydro Tulpa materials Woke: Neuvillette should use Setekh Wenut)

Every day I wake up on this forsaken earth and remember that Baizhu and Kirara use Iniquitous Baptist boss drops and despair.

Yes, 3.6, we needed a new abyss boss for plot reasons, I understand. Let's assign it to the doctor from Liyue and the Inazuman courier cat nekomata and never look at it again.

This is nearly as sinful as Alhaitham and Mika using Setekh Wenut materials, but I digress.

[licncourt]

Do you think Lestat could have and should have ended the cycle of violence (which is Loustat) by committing an ultimate act of violence against Louis?Lestat was pushed to that point in his rawest moment in TOTBT, even after he returned as a vampire. For a man of action and pushing the limits, it's very hypocritical of him. (Louis would probably prefer a death of moral high ground over butchered characterization post-QoTD)

Okay, full disclosure, I have very little in-depth knowledge of TOTBT. Except for some key points that were burned into my brain, I only remember what I gleaned from angry skimming. I read it, but I did not absorb it. Ditto for the rest of 90s canon.

As it is, I feel like I can barely analyze the post-trilogy series as a continuation of the first three books. The characters are so wildly different and inconsistent it almost seems disingenuous to consider TOTBT or after an authentic and reasonable arc for anyone. There's a reason I focus all my meta on the original trilogy.

That said, I don't think so, no. Definitely not. In my opinion, one of the most compelling things about Louis and Lestat's relationship is the potential for growth and healing, both together and separately. I don't think AR does a good job at all of getting them from point a (IWTV) to point b (their happy relationship in the PL era), but the the point remains that the overall trajectory of their relationship is toxic -> happy (bad characterization notwithstanding). I think Lestat actually killing Louis would be a major disservice to their story potential and damage the character narrative much in the same way this book already does.

One of the primary reasons I find TOTBT so disappointing and upsetting is Lestat's behavior, which you mentioned in the ask. The awful things he does in IWTV become, if not justified, at least understandable and sympathetic. He was responding to his environment through mental illness and trauma, but we know from TVL that he's not a heartless killer or evil psychopath. We're happy to root for him in QOTD because we empathize with his flaws and want to see him succeed. He's grown as a person since IWTV and he's clearly still growing.

Instead, the Lestat we saw growing and learning healthy intimacy is suddenly demanding Louis, who he was just reconciled with, relive some of his worst trauma (creating another vampire) to bail Lestat out of a shitty mistake. When Louis refuses and removes himself from the situation, Lestat burns his house down in revenge. Even when they reunite towards the end of the book, Lestat doubles down and is still extremely angry and even threatening.

What AR does with his character is heartbreaking to me because she takes those very dark but sympathetic flaws and pushes them way too far with seemingly no explanation. Instead of deeply wounded young man who's lashing out at his loved ones and exhibiting very controlling behaviors out of fear of abandonment/being hurt, he becomes entitled and abusive. It could read really well as a trauma response if AR had really committed to that and wrote it well, but she doesn't do anything of the sort unfortunately.

(I'm not going to discuss it here, but it's still not the worst of the things he does in the book. I have a whole separate rant about how disrespectful the handling of the SA themes are to victims, especially since Lestat is heavily coded as one.)

All of that is to say that I think it's honestly irrelevant whether Lestat's behavior was hypocritical or Louis was out of character or whatever because I don't think this story arc should have occurred in the first place if it wasn't going to be handled mindfully. Lestat killing Louis here would be the wrong choice because the approach to the entire book was the wrong choice.

I have no problem with the possibility of exploring a Lestat who is backsliding in his growth because of trauma and relationship baggage, but that's not at all how it's handled or framed. It's just the first book of the rest of the series where Lestat no longer seems like himself.

(Another separate spiel I have is about how TOTBT feels more like AR trauma dumping than writing a story for her established characters, but I digress)

To return to my point about Louis in all of this, I think having what you described occur would be extremely disappointing and unsatisfying for them. They were so toxic in IWTV, but then they reunite as better people and begin this really lovely healing process. It's not shown, but it's set up beautifully. I think it would be a big letdown and honestly bad writing to end their arc that way when to this point, it's been about growth and healing.

A well-written character who changes in ways that feel properly paced and genuine is far more compelling than one who essentially stays the same. The "cycle of violence" is already broken with their reunion and reconciliation. Why push their characterization backwards when it's so well situated to continue expanding and evolving?

[softsillytwsted]

Among Us with the First Years

Yall guess who’s late to the party! I played a long session with my friends and it jump-started my writing.

Warnings: mentions of blood and violence.

General

First of all, the number one rule of this game is to keep quiet and stay anonymous until the next meeting, but no one follows this. For one thing, y’all are sitting in a circle while playing this so it’s hard not to talk

Ace also finds it extremely funny to mess with Deuce and Sebek

Then there’s Grim who can’t play and is instead back-seat playing on your lap. He is also honest to a fault so it’s obvious when you two are the imposter

Ace, Deuce and Epel are always down to play, but it takes Jack and Sebek some goading for them to join. Luckily Jack never backs down from a competition and Lilia encourages Sebek to ‘enjoy his youth’

You all usually play a quick game during lunch time or do sleepovers at Ramshackle and play all night long

ANGRY RANTS IN THE GHOST CHATS

The emergency button was pushed. “Speed run on Ace let’s go!”

Ace

Ace uses the red character with the cherry hat

He’s the best at this game hands down

This smooth talker is good at persuading people, especially Deuce, to his side

He can also start a harmless conversation while murdering someone in cold blood like a psychopath

Maybe because he loves playing tricks on people that he’s able to use sabotages to his full advantage

Although Ace is the best at the game, because he’s a little shit he’s on everyone’s hit list and will die if he’s not careful

Surprisingly enough, Deuce isn’t Ace’s favorite person to kill. It’s Sebek. Sebek’s reactions just make everything funnier.

Ace looked at the task bar. “It’s been silent for awhile now. Who’s not done with their tasks yet?”

“I’ve finished,” replied Epel, the pouting ghost.

“Same,” you chirped while Grim huffed in your lap.

“I finished too,” Jack, the ghost, responded as he hovered disapprovingly at the imposter in-game.

“I-I still got a few left...” Deuce muttered.

“I have a few left as well,” Sebek declared. You/Grim, Deuce, Sebek and Ace are the only ones alive. 

“Well, I’m done,” Ace sighed. “Can you two hurry up? It’s getting kinda boring waiting around like this.”

Oxygen tanks have been sabotaged.

“Funny how this happens right after you said that!” Grim accused Ace. “Y/n! Get the top one, the top one! We’re not gonna lose this game!”

“Alright already! Deuce stop panicking and finish up your tasks. Ace or Sebek should do-”

The moment you reached your destination, you watched helplessly as Ace’s cherry red character slashed your character in pieces. Grim hissed in annoyance as you silently stared up at Ace. He winked at you.

“-the bottom one...”

Deuce

Deuce uses the dark blue character with the egg

Ace is the first person he goes after when he’s the imposter

Unironically likes to do the tasks and is the fastest at doing them

He also can’t multi-task. Focusing on his tasks while watching out for corpses and the imposter is impossible for him

Will literally run past a corpse 5 times before finally noticing it

This boy isn’t good under pressure especially when everyone is yelling at him. If the oxygen tanks or reactor is sabotaged, Deuce will bang on every wall before reaching it 

Also can’t come up with a good alibi when accused

Epel pushed the emergency button.

“I believe Deuce is the imposter... when I was passing by I saw him standing still in the hallway and when I came back he was still there.”

“W-what? No no no I wasn’t! I was moving around! I’m not the imposter!” 

“That sounds exactly like what an imposter would say!” Sebek barked.

“Yep, I definitely think Deuce is the imposter,” Ace chuckled. Ace doesn’t really care if Deuce was the imposter or not. The frustrated look on Deuce’s face as he tries to think of a way to clear his name fueled the ginger’s amusement. 

“I don’t know, maybe he was just taking his time looking at his map like the last few games?” You tried to defend Deuce, but only Jack agreed with you.

“Nah let’s kill him.” Ace

“Ya.” Epel

“Ditto.” Grim

“Agreed.” Sebek

“...” Jack

And so Deuce was ejected into space where it was revealed that he in fact was not the imposter. He pouted at his phone, still trying to figure out where to go next. “I told you I’m innocent.”

“Cheer up Deuce! Next time should be better,” you giggled at him. Deuce perked up at your laughter and beamed at you.

“Thanks for believing in me back there. I can count on you next time right?”

“...Deuce did you forget the imposter is chosen at random?”

The imposter was later revealed to be Epel.

Jack

Chose the white character with the ski goggles

The second worst player in the game

Is the person who always enforces others not to group together, but when he sees two people in a room he will hover over the door to make sure one of them won’t kill the other

The boy has a hard time lying and faking doing tasks and everyone exploits this

The quickest games are when he’s the imposter and sometimes it’s over before he can even kill someone

When Jack is innocent: “Jack are you the imposter?” “No”

When Jack isn’t: “Jack are you the imposter?” Ears flat, tail lifeless “...”

This game gives him the worst existential crisis because a part of him wants to play with all his might but the other JUST. CAN’T. LIE.

You found Sebek’s cold body lying in the admin room. All hell breaks loose once you report the body.

“FINALLY SOMEONE FOUND MY BODY! I was getting frustrated when SOMEBODY keeps passing me,” Sebek shouts while looking pointedly at Deuce.

Deuce shamefully looks away.

“Alright let’s start with the usual questions,” you began and turned to Jack. “Jack are you the imposter?”

“...No.”

“Okay Jack’s out-”

“Hold it! We shouldn’t rule out Jack just because he said so!” Ace interrupted you with a scowl on his lips. Jack snarled at the accusation. 

“Are you calling me a liar?” he growled out. Unperturbed at the 192cm wall of muscle who was bristling at him, Ace’s face twisted into a mocking smirk.

Well I ain’t calling you a truther. “That’s the whole point of the game! For all we know, you could’ve finally wizened up and are lying to us now!”

“...Ace has a point,” Deuce held his chin in thoughtful agreement. On the other hand, you and Epel were conflicted. 

“I’d say we vote Ace out,” Grim said with a sly grin on his face. “I saw his character look at us funny.” The little monster still held a grudge against Ace for saying Grim sucked at the game. (”But it’s true! You’re paws can’t even hit the buttons!” “Shut up Ace!”)

“That is suspicious,” simple, easily swayed Deuce agreed. 

“Wait wait wait! How the fuck does that make sense?” Ace retorted. At the same time, Grim began smashing his paws at the screen and managed to vote for Ace. (“Hah! Take that Ace!”)

Deuce cast his vote immediately after, and Jack followed up while sending an amused smirk towards Ace. Epel was red in the face from trying to hold in his laughter from the silliness of it all. Eventually, he managed to vote for Ace.

Ace was ejected into space. Crew mates win.

“Lucky guess,” Ace grumbled under his breath.

Epel

Epel chooses the purple character and uses the straw hat

Has the most wins under his belt and is that one player that never gets killed 

Epel usually plays it safe until someone riles him up and now he’s killing like he’s got something to prove

The master of vent assassinations.

Seriously. Usually when the first body gets reported, it’s been discovered that two other people have been killed already.

Tends to go on cams more than do the tasks

You, Ace and Jack were doing tasks in the electrical room. The lights go off and Epel’s purple character jumps out of a vent to stab you with its tongue. When the lights come back on, Epel is gone. Jack discovers your dead body and reports it immediately.

“It was Ace. I was in the same room with him and Y/n when the lights were off. Then he killed Y/n.”

“Hah? No way why would I do something that obvious?”

“So you admit you’re the imposter?”

Everyone votes Ace out. You discreetly squint at Epel for being so devious, but the lavender-haired boy only smiles sweetly at you in return. You were Epel’s first kill in this round, so after you finished your tasks you spent the rest of the game following him around. 

You quickly realized that nothing was more frightening than Epel, a 156cm ball of fury.

You watched him hide in the medical room’s vent while Jack was being scanned. The minute Deuce, who stuck around to see Jack start the scan, left the room Epel jumped out and murdered Jack in cold blood. You saw Jack flinch as his character died, but he resumed his tasks without a grumble.

With only two people left alive, Epel stalked the halls to look for his last kill. He found both Sebek and Deuce in the cafeteria. One is at the vending machine, and the other is at the garbage disposal. Deuce finished first and spied Epel heading towards Sebek. “Oh Epel, did you finish your ta-” he watched as Epel’s character slashed into Sebek. The game ends soon after.

Thanks to Epel, the kill cool down was extended... again.

Sebek

Chose the lime green character with the horns (”THEY’LL NEVER BE AS MAJESTIC AS WAKA-SAMA’S”)

Living in the Valley of Thorns has him unfamiliar with technology in general so he’s extremely clumsy with the controls.

He also has a hard time navigating the area and is always hitting the walls and missing the doors

Also the slowest at doing tasks 

Speaking of tasks, there was one game where he thought he finished all of them and he ended up giving the imposter enough time to kill everyone (”If the tasks are not all green that means you didn’t finish them!” “WHAT!?”)

Sebek is very mission-oriented and although he considers it beneath him to lie, he will to fulfill his objective

Will go the long way around to try and avoid his shifty friends

Absolutely fun to tease but not the worst at the game to be fair

“Wait so who did you see kill Jack, Deuce? Sebek or Hot Sebek?” you asked the teal-eyed teen. 

“For the last time STOP USING MY NAME!”

“Quiet normal Sebek,” you shushed him. “Let Deuce talk.”

“It was the hot one... H-hot Sebek.” Poor Deuce tried so hard to contain his laughter as he spoke. Ace was already rolling on the floor and Epel was stifling a chuckle with his hand.

Sebek was fuming but stayed quiet while everyone else voted. Soon Hot Sebek AKA Ace gets ejected into space and the crew members win.

“We’re starting a new session and this time no one else will use my name. GOT IT?”

“Sounds good,” Jack said as he glowered at Ace. “I don’t understand why you would want to hide your identity. We should all face each other with everything bared - fair and square!”

“That is exactly right, Jack! Cowardly tactics should be frowned upon!”

Ace deadpanned, “Did you guys forget that’s the whole point of the game?”

[columbos-dog]

Honestly same! I found TVWLM very overrated. I think JQ wanted Anthony to come off as strong but he came off as unhinged at times. I though he needed some serious anger management. He was so angry when Newton ran off and jumped into the lake. Like it’s a dog what did you expect, they behave like that. I feel like JQ also exaggerated characters personality’s when they just displayed normal human behaviour. Like Kate calling Anthony a hero for helping out a family friend. It made me laugh. Like that is just normal human behaviour, not to mention he is a viscount and Cressida was a debutante. It’s not as if he was sticking his neck out by helping Penelope. And Anthony calling Kate a menace to society. Just because her dog got him wet and she threw his ball into a lake. I mean this is also all normal human behaviour and generic. Getting competitive in a game is not being a menace to society.

I think what I am trying to say is that Julia has a way of telling not showing. Like show Anthony being an actual hero or Kate being a menace to society by actually doing something. Also with Kate, I feel like she has become fandoms self insert in a way. Unlike all the other debutantes in the world, Kate is special, not meek or demure and has a sharp tongue. Like for fucks sake that is literally how debutantes were forced to behave from birth. I am sure they were perfectly interesting, clever people who were essentially forced to make themselves smaller. It’s annoying that in a fandom of mostly women, they still choose to bash/make fun of other women (debutantes and Siena) to uplift another female character especially while stanning men for being rakes who pretty much saw women as objects except for the one who finally tames them. Like it’s 2021.

Also please feel free to ignore my 2am bridgerton rants 😂!!

You can always come to me with the Bridgerton rants, I’ve gotten way too involved in this series smh. For whatever reason my Tumblr alerts have just not be working properly so I opened up my app to find a 4 day backlog of stuff, sorry!

Yes to alllll that you said. I think one of the most important elements to telling a story well is showing, not telling. I know Julia Quinn/Bridgerton isn’t exactly ‘high art’ storytelling, everything and everyone is so overdone/in your face and almost cartoonish because it makes for fun, campy plots and personalities, that’s what can make it amusing and easy to get invested in. But I alsoo think the fandom doesn’t help by somewhat blindly justifying all Anthony’s behaviour, and putting Kate on a pedestal. 

In the case of some of the men and Anthony in particular, they’re always saying and doing the most aggressive, unnecessary, often misogynistic stuff but hardly ever held accountable for it by the fandom. Just because they do a few nice things, are the romantic lead, or have a ~tragic backstory~ doesn’t mean that criticism of their character isn’t valid. And unlike some of the other male characters, Anthony doesn’t really change as a person, Kate is the one who is expected to accept him because him being a dickhead is all just a big misunderstanding, he never thought he’d fall in love but he’s secretly nice!!11!!1

Plus he kind of victimises himself a lot, like with the Newton situation, if anyone should be annoyed it should’ve been Edwina but she just laughed it off, so why was he holding some kind of personal grudge against Kate for a dog doing dog stuff? 

Ditto with helping others, like it’s nice he did that but it’s some grand heroic act. Speaking with Penelope (who is also his sister’s best friend, so of course he should be kind to her) instead of Cressida who everyone dislikes anyway isn’t a big thing. But supposedly that was the moment when Kate decided he was good enough to date her sister? lol.

I agree, honestly Kate is a lot like a self-insert character. I feel like that’s because she’s one of the only female characters (who isn’t the ‘lead’ character like Daphne, Penelope, Eloise etc) who actually acts like a real woman would, and has a personality that isn’t just being ‘catty’ or ‘bitchy’ like the other female characters like Cressida. Even the other female love interests in the Bridgerton like Edwina, Sophie, and Lucy although I like them, are just very ‘nice’. They’re gentle, traditionally feminine characters, so for girls who don’t relate to that, Kate feels like the only one with a real personality. At least that’s my take on it.

But I really hope they go a slightly different path in the show. As I’ve said before, the show has already done better in giving the female characters more personality, and making them feel more developed and real, so they don’t need to go the ‘Kate’s so different from other girls and she can fix Anthony’ path. They should tone down Anthony’s angry outbursts and sexism, stop pitting Kate against all the other girls, and not make it seem like she’s the only one good for Anthony because she’s the only one who is special enough and ‘gets’ him. 

[styrofauxm]

Look. There's a difference between using it as a defense and actively incorporating it.

I wouldn't be upset at all if people just acknowledged, from the very beginning and throughout, that Yelena is aroace. It's pretty simple to show that she doesn't reciprocate those feelings, but she's along for the ride. Or, that she's not asexual aromantic, she's demi, or grey, or another micro-identity and then actively and continuously incorporate that.

Saying "oh well aroace people can still be romantic/sexual" is a DEFENSE when getting called out on it, and a DEFENSE of continuing to not acknowledge it after being called out on it.

But, there's no need to be defensive if you mean no harm.

If you honestly didn't know, then say "oh I didn't know that" and do better going forward. If you did know and didn't care, then say "I messed up" and do better going forward.

allos first response to us saying "hey please dont ship these aroace characters" being "well actually aroaces can still have romantic bonds & asexual people can still have sex" feels aphobic tbh

[pokemonthingsandstuff]

There is a slight problem for all people who want to become pokemon scientists. Well, there's many, but by far the funniest problem is that Oddish and Kabutops are the only pokemon with scientific names, those names being Oddium wanderus and Kabutops maximus. It is such a stupid problem, but scientists around the world are starting to actually try to scientifically name pokemon.

I hope they succeed, and maybe rename Oddish while they're at it. I've got no clue what Oddium wanderus is even supposed to mean. Well, I do, but then we have to take the other members of the family into account and yeah the name falls apart pretty quick. I'm going to let Kostya take the wheel from here, because he's got the greatest rant about this.

... I am one of those scientists. Oddium wanderus is complete and utter nonsense, I don't know how that name came to be and I hate it. We're trying to find proper names for these creatures, and I swear to Arceus if we can't find a halfway decent name for these, I will just steal names from the Animalia. Most of the Old World animals are extinct, so we can use the scientific names of certain species, such as Canis lupus familiaris, the mostly extinct species known as dogs, we can use Canis lupus catulum for Lillipup. Then, from there, we can edit it a little more to make certain that it's possible to tell that they're pokemon. I still have to do that. Professer Blossom and I have been taking turns at this, and last night was the first time I've slept in three days.

Canis lupus deus is still by far my favorite name for Arcanine, though. Vulpes ignis was a personal favorite, as well, but for Ninetales. It's significantly easier with animals, mind you. We ended up giving up on Ralts, but that line is incomprehensibly unscientific. Selachimorpha ferus was a real interesting one to figure out, and even though I dislike Sharpedo, I think it's a cool name. We tried our hardest, but I hated trying to name the Trubbish line. I'll admit, I cried during that one.

We didn't go over all of them. We tried with the Deino line, though! Draco unus, Draco duo, and Draco tribus, was something that Professer Maple suggested. She also suggested we keep Kabutops maximus, and we name Kabuto Kabutops minimus. I quite like that one, actually.

... Oh, I completely forgot to mention legendaries. We tried, alright? We really tried. It didn't go well, but Lupus rex and Lupus regina were tossed around for Zamazenta and Zacian.

They weren't fans of it the names. We aren't even going to mention how the Galarian Legendary Birds reacted to names that Kostya has asked me to not say.

However, I can confirm that Eternatus enjoys the scientific name Draco astrum. Calyrex, the horses, the new Regis, the Kubfu line, and Zarude have no opinions on their non-existent scientific names.

Back to my turn, nobody is having a good time and we need more scientists. Sweet Arceus, do we need biologists over here. We've come across a scientific breakthrough in the fact nobody knows how we're supposed to classify Solosis. What even is Rotom?! Porygon counts as a pokemon, but is it an object pokemon or not?! Ultra Beasts! Just Ultra Beasts in general! What's a Spiritomb count as?! The entire Trapinch line are all insects/dragon/ground elementals, yet the insect only affects their biology and not their typing! What is Aggron?! What about Onix and Steelix?! Coalossal is just a bunch of rocks, too, a lot of pokemon are just rocks but why are they alive?! What are Throh and Sawk?? Yamask in general, what's up with that?! Cryogonal is just an angry snowflake! Golett! Golurk! Aegislash! Those are problems in their own, but then you get into stuff like Phantump and Trevenant and Exeggcute! What are Falinks?! What are Voltorbs? And then there's Koffing and Weezing and Muk and Grimer, not to mention Dittos and Meltans and Glalie! I-

I think I need a nap.

[teawithhoneyharper]

🍦🍰🎀🍉

🍦 - Your blog is great

*aggressively sends virtual hugs* oh but not “angry” aggressive, more like “enthusiastic” aggressive

🍰 - I wish we were closer

ahhh! me! too! i tend to get rlly nervous abt making friends bc i’m scared that i’m annoying them so it’s very reassuring to hear!!! <3

🎀 - You make me smile

*more hugs coming your way* and literally same! i love interacting w you or even just seeing your posts!!!

🍉 - I wanna talk to you more

ditto! ik sometimes its a bit hard to find things to talk abt w mutuals or its intimidating, but i mean it when i reblog those posts that are like “mutuals can talk to me whenever about whatever”! also i am most definitely going to rant to you when i read all of your book recs so get ready for that

[ducktracy]

138. porky the rain-maker (1936)

release date: august 1st, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: joe dougherty (porky, porky’s father), tedd pierce (narrator), earle hodgins (salesman)

the first cartoon to have a narrator! tex in particular would play around with narrators, whether it be in his travelogues or to serve as important plot devices like in the village smithy. this is also the first cartoon where porky is considerably slimmed down—he’d fluctuate weight, especially contrasted with tashlin’s large interpretation for him, but especially with the addition of ub iwerks and eventually bob clampett in 1937, porky shifted onto a diet, tashlin the last one to slim him down after porky’s double trouble. here, porky and his farmer father are in the midst of a treacherous drought. porky spends their remaining money on a selection of pills rumored to bring on any weather event at will. however, trouble strikes when the farm animals accidentally eat the miracle pills instead.

tedd pierce fills us in as we open to a long, beautiful pan of a farm. an overlay of visible heatwaves paired with his commentary indicates that we’re in the midst of a severe drought. “valuable crops scorched by blistering heatwave! shortage of feed threatens farmers with ruin—their only hope is rain!” zoom in on an apple tree that wilts in an instant. “uh-oh, looks like there’ll be no shade—“ a chorus of hilariously dissonant voices join in, singing the classic “—under the old apple tree.” all of the crops suffer from the heat: apples shrivel up in seconds, corn stalks are stripped of their contents... we even hone in on some more predictable yet slightly rewarding puns, such as water boiling inside watermelons or eggplants cracking open and frying eggs on the ground.

porky and his father observe the drought solemnly, porky’s father (dougherty once more, only speaking in his natural voice, stutter and all) lamenting “worry, worry, worry.” a clamor from various farm animals calls over their attention, and they approach the barn to see what all the fuss is about.

as the narrator implied, there’s been a lack of feed thanks to the drought. no crops to sell, no money to make, no feed to buy. the animals are none too pleased, forming their own union and going on strike. haughty hens strut along, one carrying a sign reading “NO FEED — NO EGGS!”, the hen behind her matching with a simple “DITTO!”. a disgruntled horse is next, “NO FEED NO WORK” plastered on his side. a cow marches along with her nose in the air, her udders protected by a barrel that reads “CLOSED SHOP”—a very amusing gag that works both ways. of course, closed shop implies that she isn’t giving out any milk, but it’s also a labor union term. essentially, only those in the union can work at the shop/place of business. and, of course, only the cow can give the milk. how can you have milk if you don’t have any udders to milk? if you didn’t know tex liked gags, you do now.

despairingly, porky’s father reaches into his pocket and pulls out a sock, complete with a clasp at the top. he opens it, stuttering “here, my son. take our last dollar—“ he fishes in the sock for a dollar coin, “—and buy them animals some feed.” porky accepts the coin and heads on into town.

just as he’s about to stroll into the general store for some feed, a sharp voice catches his ear. in the middle of town proudly stands a merchant on his stage, selling a product to the congregation around him. the sign behind him tellingly reads DR. QUACK’S FAMOUS RAIN PILLS — $1.00. sure enough, dr. quack is ranting and raving: “now friends, i’m here today to advertise my famous rain pills!” earle hodgins does a wonderful job of the salesman, his lines full of energy and greedy passion. he lures his audience in, asking if they’re fed up with their dying crops thanks to this treacherous drought. he holds up his box of pills, assuring that they can bring instant rain. “each and every one of these capsules is guaranteed to make it rain where and when you want it!”

the cost? as the sign behind him advertises: a dollar. clever execution and timing as little porky pops his head up in the front row of the crowd at mere mention of the cost. to make the deal even sweeter, anyone who purchases a rain pill gets a free box of assorted pills with all the weather events you can think of. rain! snow! ice! lightning! thunder! tornadoes! earthquakes! fog! wind! you name it, it’s there in that measly little box! porky is absolutely enraptured, hoisting himself up to lean on the platform so he doesn’t miss a single beat. wonderful comedic timing as the salesman seamlessly pauses his long-winded rant just to shoo porky away, nudging him with his cane and instructing “don’t lean on the platform, son, you bother me.”

porky obeys, still taking in every word as the salesman blabbers “i’m going to pass out... these umbrellas!” (more fantastic timing and a great gag), distributing umbrellas to the crowd to showcase a demonstration. once everyone is armed with their umbrellas, dr. quack stuffs a rain pill in a little tube and spits it into the air. the pill is propelled into the air and explodes.

sure enough, the clouds grow heavy and dark, real rain showering upon every citizen in the square. porky is just beside himself as he sticks his hand out to feel the raindrops—“oh boy! real rain!” dr. quack eyes his audience, asking “now who’s gonna be first to buy one of these rain pills?” zero hesitation or remorse as porky fishes in his pocket and thrusts his father’s last earnings into the greedy hands of dr. quack, who hands him the fated pandora’s box. porky heads back to the farm, ready to knock the socks off his father.

porky’s father paces along, still muttering “worry, worry, worry” all the way. his face brightens up as he sees his loyal little boy marching towards him with the feed he so diligently went to the store to buy. feed in the shape of a box. with pills inside the box. rightfully so, porky’s father is furious. “PILLS!? i told ya to get FEED, not PILLS!” porky, unable to decipher why his father is so angry, ducks as his father tosses the useless box away.

the contents of the box scatter all across the farm. one of the picketing hens stumbles upon a spare pill, a lightning pill. mistaking it as feed, the hen happily gobbles down her food and grins contentedly at the audience. however, her delight is quickly put to a stop as volts of incomprehensible electricity jolt through her body and electrocute her. she flops to the ground, winded, and attempts to run for her life, squawking along the way. it’s too late—she turns into a literal lightning bolt as she tries to outrun from herself. the entire gag, from the contented grin to initial jolting reaction to turning into a lightning bolt in the midst of a frenzy would be reused in porky’s duck hunt, with daffy and an electric eel substituting the chicken and her lightning pill.

elsewhere, the picketing horse stumbles upon a fog pill and wastes no time ingesting it, too. a cloud of fog grows around his stomach, and in no time his surroundings are shrouded in mist. a horsefly (literally a horse with fly wings, which would serve as a minor plot point in a similar tex porky cartoon milk and money) comments into a microphone “altitude 10,000 feet. no visibility. ceiling: 0.” the gag is amusing, but slightly incomprehensible and lacks a smooth transition. enough to get the gist, though. meanwhile, a curious goose gobbles down both a thunder and wind pill, its body shuddering and shaking around as it regurgitates artificial wind from its body, blowing around aimlessly.

porky and his father observe in steely silence, his father glowering and sulking. helpful is porky, who finally pipes up with “there’s a pill there that’ll make real rain, pa.” porky’s father freezes. he whips his head around: “well why didn’t ya say so? where is it?” he crawls through the wooden fence and gets down on all fours, searching on his hands and knees for the fated miracle pill.

spotting a cyclone pill, porky reaches out to grab it. unfortunately for him, a chicken swoops in and swallows it before he can retrieve it. porky’s predictably peeved, glowering at the chicken, but his anger turns into awe as the chicken is whisked away into her own personal tornado. things finally settle down, and all that’s left is a nude chicken with a single tail feather. she glares at her feather, but it too turns into a mini cyclone and flies away. hilariously deadpan, she turns to the camera and gasps “well, imagine that.” not at all unlike an oswald short tex worked on in 1933, the zoo, a bear’s fur reduced to shreds thanks to a swarm of hungry moths. instead of screaming or overreacting, the bear also mildly states “well, imagine that.”

never mind the cyclone pill—porky spots another pill scattered on the ground, an earthquake pill. he reaches for it, and yet again another hungry chicken swallows the pill. this time an earthquake erupts in her body. amusing incongruity as the hen stalks away with her beak held high in the air, interrupted by frantic bursts of spasms and shakes. she clings to a tree for support, the entire landscape around her shaking. when the earthquake has finally paused, she ogles at the camera in disbelief.

porky and his father continue to search for the remaining pills, crawling on their hands and knees. porky finds something in the distance and trots over to it. sure enough, the fated rain pill is right in his reach! surely nothing can go wrong now, right?

wrong! the goose who had swallowed the thunder and wind pills is still aimlessly blowing around the farm uncontrollably. it knocks right into porky, tossing both of them to the ground. nevertheless, the goose is unscathed, seldom hesitating as it gobbles up the rain pill. porky ever so calmly and politely wrings the goose’s neck, calling it a varmint. he opens the goose’s beak and peers inside. no sign of the pill. frustrated, porky grabs the head of the goose and slams it on the ground, the goose settling back to normal as its head bounces back up. sweet, mild mannered porky!

his animal abuse may bring about some good after all. the goose, now shaken up, regurgitates the rain pill, sending it flying into the air. with a familiar snap, the pill explodes. could it be? yes! it could! the clouds darken and dump buckets of real, genuine, miraculous rain. all of the farm animals (and porky’s dad) crowd together, all sticking out their extremities just to feel the rain, reveling in it and soaking up every single last drop. apple trees grow back to size, corn stalks are nice and hearty again, all of the crops spouting 5x the amount of goods than what they used to. a gag that would be reused in many cartoons (especially and situationally in swooner crooner), a hen eagerly runs inside of her coop and lays an astounding mound of eggs, poking her head out of the coop and sighing in relief.

the joyous celebration continues, and everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief. good times are here at last! nary a problem in sight, only one little caveat. just one teensy little issue that needs taking care of... the animals still have the pills inside them. the celebration is cut short as all the animals jolt, jitter, shudder, fly, you name it. even porky and his father feel the effects. the false sense of security is pulled off strongly and coyly. everyone poses defiantly at the camera, a happy cartoon close sting... and then silence except for an array of sound effects as the pills take their course. tex plays around with the iris out as the goose blows itself out of the iris and into the black void, where rain is still pouring down. the goose frantically pounds against the black wall, squawking frantically. the iris opens one last time as porky yanks the goose inside for good.

a very amusing and creative cartoon for sure. milk and money would follow a similar route—porky needs to help his father earn money for the farm, and hilarity ensues (and there’s also a horsefly involved.) i like that one a bit more, as i feel it’s a stronger cartoon. this one came off more as a showcase of gags than anything, not having too much plot, but it was still definitely there. some gags were certainly funnier than others, but this still remains as a relatively funny short. the ending is particularly amusing, with the coy “all’s well that ends well” poses of the gang and the orchestral swell, interrupted by the natural elements inside each animal. the first appearance of porky’s father, too, who would make a handful of appearances, even during the mel blanc era with porky’s poppa in 1938. not tex’s best cartoon, but certainly watchable and amusing. worth a potential watch!

link!

[rainymeadows]

I rewatched Eternal Diva and this time I took notes as I went through

Dive under the cut if you dare to experience my mad in-the-moment ramblings (warning for spoilers for pretty much the entire prequel trilogy)

-          Don Paolo’s voice sounds like what Papyrus’s voice probably should

-          Winter Layton is precious in that giant coat

-          Janice is so pretty omg an angel

-          Layton geeking out over the Detrogan is goddamn adorable

-          I love how everything is greyed out in Janice’s flashback

-          Suuuuuuuuper subtle indication that maybe “Janice” seeing how young this little girl was is what prompted her to find a way to put an end to this whole thing

-          Whether it’s a moped or the Laytonmobile, Emmy drives like crazy XD

-          Bitch you ain’t on Top Gear

-          God her big sister relationship with Luke is adorable tho

-          Aaaaaaaaaaaah Layton smiling at their banter dad’s so happy for his son

-          They did such a good job reusing the game’s music for this movie

-          The opera house looks so cool but so precarious – my first thought upon seeing it was “when is this thing going to sink”

-          I MEAN IT’S ON A CLIFF

-          Janice’s voice is so pretty TToTT

-          I like that they kept the Japanese vocals for her singing

-          SONG OF THE SEA-SHADOWING

-          I hate that Layton and Luke were the ONLY people to honestly applaud the performance. Everyone else is a DICK

-          First time I saw this dude, I thought “that’s a puppet, no ordinary person moves like that even in animation”

-          Once again, Layton putting a polite and gentlemanly spin on “fucked if I know, my dude”

-          Lol I love that even the people who didn’t applaud and thus apparently knew what they were in for weren’t down for dying

-          Fuking cowards

-          Layton is always DTF (down to fight)

-          GROSKY OF THE YARD

-          FUCK YES

-          This dude’s manliness is infectious

-          “Gee, I wonder who’s behind this-“ *Descole’s theme starts playing* “-oh well never mind”

-          Honestly who else but Descole would be this fucking extra tho

-          Gotta admit I love the twist of the opera house being a ship, I was totally expecting it to just go plunging into the ocean at a moment’s notice

-          Aaaaah the CG in this movie is really well done

-          Layton’s angry face is kinda ridiculous but I love it

-          I love that it’s pointed out like “where tf did all these sharks come from”

-          I prefer Cartoon Saloon’s Song of the Sea, but this one’s pretty too

-          Lol as if a MAN-EATING SHARK could keep down GROSKY OF THE YARD

-          I’m surprised he can see over the top of his chest hair

-          God, the detrogan is such a cool instrument and I really wish something like it existed irl

-          Ah, it’s only like fifteen sharks, Grosky will be fine

-          I love the air of mystery surrounding Oswald Whistler

-          Layton’s hat is made of 100% pure uncut husband material

-          AAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE HOW PUZZLES ARE USED IN THIS MOVIE IT’S SO GOOOOOOOD

-          I’m so glad they didn’t scrap it entirely coz I mean they’re so integral not only to the Layton games, but Layton himself

-          This music box tune kinda gives me Gravity Falls vibes tbh

-          I think the backing melody sounds pretty identical to the tune’s intro

-          I love that this movie actually lets us see inside Layton’s head and his thought process, it’s so much better than just having him put everything together seemingly offscreen

-          Tbh any puzzle where “the night sky” is the solution is bound to be a good puzzle

-          I just fucking love the implied MASSACRES in this movie

-          God Luke is so goddamn precious

-          Pffft pumpkin dude is so subtly duplicitous

-          Okay I have ot pause for a bit to rant about layton’s design because it’s SO GOOD. Warm colours make him seem welcoming and kinda comfy and the simple facial features, while a bit Ditto-esque, do combine nicely with his overall shape to scream “friend”. Professor Layton is friend shaped. And of course there’s the popped collar to show that he’s cool, the high collared shirt gives a scholarly vibe, his shoes which I stg are plimsolls show a practical side and of course the quintessential top hat shows that he’s a Gentleman first and foremost. Add the amazing voice to that and BOI I DIE

-          Although I can’t help imagining that gif with the teddy bear slapping eyebrows onto its face to look angry whenever he gets mad

-          Luke is not friend shaped. Luke is son shaped.

-          Precious bab shaped

-          Wpw a sea captain I would never have guessed other than the “sailor” accent and the fact that you’re wearing a sailor’s uniform

-          Ugh I love these quiet moments where things can sink in and characters can just talk to each other, I really wish more movieswould do this

-          I love that even if you don’t have a literal look at his thought processes, you can still see Layton THINKINg

-          Agh Amelia is SO CUTe this series is so good at designing beautiful women and cute girls while also making them look DISTINCT

-          I like that they hinted at her intelligence by having her solve the puzzles by herself

-          One advantage a film has over the games is that the visual novel format kinda limits the dialogue, coz it’s hard to convey one charafter talking over another

-          I really like the side characters. They’re simple, yes, but they don’t really need to be complex

-          I will admit that the limits of Layton’s simple facial features means it can be hard to tell who/what he’s looking at sometimes…

-          “that man” asked me to write an opera, huh

-          WHY DOES NOBODY ASK WHO

-          Fuck descole’s theme is SO GOOD

-          WHERE DOES HE GET THE FUNDING FOR ALL OF THIS THOUGH

-          And Grosky boards the ship just in time for it to blow up XD I love this dude

-          I can only imagine his gigantic pecs act as a flotation device

-          Layton preventing Luke from looking at the exploding ship THIS MAN IS SUCH A DAD HE’S SO GOOD

-          I love this scene with Emmy investigating because these parent’s appearances are just enough to make it ambiguous whether they’re Nina or Amelia’s parents

-          Seeing them all wrapped up in blankets is kinda cute tbh

-          LET. THEM. SLEEP.

-          I wonder what Layton uses to keep his hat on?

-          Lol Emmy pushing a fossil aside to look at the map

-          I can only assume, given that they set off from the White Cliffs of Dover, that this island is SOMEWHERE off the coast of mainland Europe in about the same region as Spain

-          Ugh I LOVE Emmy’s uppercrust accent, the fact that she sounds like such a refined lady is such a fun contrast to her literal arse-kicking

-          Also this is totally BBC news lol

-          I love the detail of the historian’s scrapbook being kinda hodgepodge with bits falling out

-          And I love the Ambrosia Seal being super detailed but the subtle incorporation of a sheet music design

-          Gotta admit I totally thought this little banquet was poisoned on my first watch

-          Lol I love that pumpkin guy just KEEPS POURING THE WINE

-          Ugh that beach looks SO PRETTY, I want to go there

-          Janice is totally crushing on Layton, pass it on

-          D’awwwwww luke trying to befriend ‘melina’ is SO CUTE this boy must be protected at all costs

-          Layton how did you hear what she was humming from all the way over there

-          Why do so many anime characters have inexplicable super senses

-          Those wolves’ eyeliner is on point lol

-          “I’m not built for running” lol mood

-          FUCKING HELL DESCOLE WHO IS FUNDING ALL YOUR SHIT

-          HOW MUCH DISPOSABLE INCOME DO YOU FUCKING HAVE

-          Admittedly on my first watch I wasn’t as familiar with descole’s theme, but I saw that castle and I just thought “it’s descole, only he can be that extra”

-          The twist of using the cages for personal protection rather than to trap the walls is simple, but so clever

-          I love that Mr Whistler was one of those accidentally trapped outside. Keeps suspicion off

-          And I love Layton saying “well that solved PART of our problem”

-          YOU SHUT UP LADY THE PROFESSOR IS AMAZING

-          And then he trips and falls lol that’s what you get for wearing old man shoes

-          “Even a good gentleman needs to get some exercise!” pfft

-          Oh hey, they found the starter house that Descole was using while he was building that castle. I wonder what texture pack he’s using?

-          And here Layton puts MacGuyver to shame in the most Ghibli way possible

-          I’d love to see someone try to build this thing XD someone call the Mythbusters

-          Bjut I adore how even LAYTON isn’t sure how this fucking thing works

-          Fucking NERD

-          Yeah, these filmmakers were TOTALLY influenced by Ghibli

-          This is so Castle In The Sky, it hurts

-          “Hang on tight! NOT TO THE PILOT!” – best line in the movie

-          You can’t escape it, Layton. You is a dad

-          DID YOU GUYS NOT SEE LAYTON LAPUTA-ING HIS WAY IN

-          It’s great how all those puzzles seem like they could be ripped straight out of the Layton games, complete with outside-the-box bizarre thinking required to solve em

-          I’m so proud of Luke for solving it!!!!! Such a good boy

-          RUDE

-          Yeah, just stand in the middle of the suspiciously empty room, I’m sure nothing will go wrong

-          That’s what you get for shoving Layton aside, bitches

-          Lol I guess luke could just step through the bars if his head was a bit smaller

-          DESCOLE HOLY FUCK YOU ARE THE KING OF EXTRA

-          “humble scientist” GOOD GRIEF WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT YOU DRAMA QUEEN

-          I love that Emmy can FLY A PLANE

-          Holy shit grosky there are better ways to signal for help

-          And LESS GROSS WAYS TO DRY YOURSELF OFF IN A PLANE

-          Yeah, see, you lost your knickers

-          Ugh, god. I adore this scene with Layton in Melina’s room. It’s so quiet, the soft evening lighting… aaaaaaaaaaah so peaceful, but you can still feel the tension in the air, especially after Melina comes in

-          Oh my god, Layton plays like an angel *swoon*

-          The lack of background music in this scene is what makes it so perfect, the tension is so REAL

-          Lol I love the historian just standing there like ‘welp there they go’

-          NOOOOOOOOO LUKE DON’T CRY

-          BIG SIS IS HERE

-          Oh fuck yes

-          EMMY I LOVE YOU

-          God she and grosky are so fantastic XD

-          WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE THAT EMMY

-          Somehow emmy gives me Michelle of the Resistance vibes

-          God, I kinda love it when you can tell Layton’s already put it all together and is just biding his time

-          AAAAAAAAAAH I love the subtle resemblance between Layton and what you can see of Descole’s face

-          In hindsight, that… stole? Is that what it is? The fur thing isprobably to hide his face shape because it most likely ups his resemblance to Layton

-          But he’s totally wearing black converse like the extra hipster nerd he is

-          God, I can’t even imagine the nightmare of having your memories overridden and personality suppressed

-          Aaaaaaaaaaaand here’s the summation. I love this part in pretty much every Layton thing

-          “Assisting you was the scientist, Jean Descole!” Descole: lol hi

-          LAYTON YOU ARE SUCH A DAD I LOVE YOU

-          Him being gentle with kids is so sweet

-          Also damn this backstory is a lot. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a loved one, but I’m not surprised a father would do anything he could to keep his daughter alive

-          “When did you realise I was involved” “ur an extra bitch who lives for drama, who else could it be”

-          That brief bit of Luke without his hat just makes him look even more BABY BOI MUST PROTECC

-          Okay real talk when did Janice get hold of the key

-          I’m guessing it was in the commotion when Mr Whistler grabbed Luke

-          SUCH A GOOD TWIST I LOVE IT

-          My heeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaart goddammit

-          In hindsight, the hint of Janice wearing Melina’s pendant was really subtle and clever

-          GODDAMMIT DESCOLE CAN YOU STOP BEING EXTRA FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS

-          It’s kinda cool that he’s an archaeologist too though. It really does run in the family.

-          The way Descole and Whistler’s schemes intertwined was really cool

-          Yeah, it just wouldn’t be Descole if there wasn’t some over-the-top machinery

-          YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MAGIC MUSIC THIS IS MY SHIT

-          When escaping from a crumbling castle, do be sure to grab your boy.

-          AAAAAAAAAGH THE SCENERY IN THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING GOOD

-          Good lord, there it is. Descole just can’t function unless he has some ridiculous Humongous Mecha at his command

-          This thing looks especially monstrous and I love it

-          I don’t think I’ve seen ANY faults in this movie’s animation, jesus Christ

-          Descole, did you learn nothing from the attempted excavation of Troy? It’s very possible that your efforts to unearth Ambrosia will be what destroys it!

-          Aaaaaaaagh this flying scene is intense as FUCK

-          Layton and Luke are SUCH A GOOD TEAM

-          WHAT IS THIS MUSIC I LOVE IT

-          Luke you are SUCH A GOOD BOY

-          Sorry but you’ll never be mob tho

-          Mob is perfection

-          JESUS CHRIST DESCOLE ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL A CHILD

-          I was about to ask where that explosion came from but then I realised it was probably a petrol-powered chainsaw

-          Layton who told you that you could look this goddamn epic

-          But I love that he’s taking on the sword-armed Descole with a PIPE

-          That footwork tho

-          Layton must be an amazing dancer

-          So cool that he’s patiently explaining why Descole was wrong

-          Sun, stars and sea. I feel like that’s a Dothraki term of endearment meant for oceanfairing

-          MORE MAGIC MUSIC I AM BLESSED

-          AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS IS THE FUCKING COOLEST

-          I’M SUCH A SLUT FOR MAGIC MUSIC GODDAMMIT AND THIS IS DOUBLE TEAMING ME WITH SINGING AND PIANO

-          I do enjoy that despite its emergence, Ambrosia is still partially submerged. Some movies would’ve had it rise from the sea completely

-          Lol at Descole losing his shit because SOMEONE ELSE found the answer

-          Yeah, bad idea attacking someone right on top of your humongous mecha’s control panel

-          “DESCOLE!” dude he’s fine you really think he’d die

-          I was going to ask why Emmy didn’t use her plane but she probably couldn’t get to it in time

-          Yeah, this is SO Ghibli. The gigantic industrialised machine self-destructing on the ruins of an ancient civilisation lost to nature

-          Noooooooooo don’t do this to me movie, nothing kills me like sad flashbacks

-          Ow my heart

-          This hurts

-          “I’m sorry, Father. I’ve only ever brought you grief and sadness, haven’t I” as someone who’s struggled with depression this is a whole-ass mood

-          NO THIS HURTS STOP IT

-          Also the lil detail of Whistler’s waistcoat being the same shade of purple as Melina/Janice’s dress

-          NOOO DON’T MAKE LUKE SAD

-          “I’m so glad all of you were my very last memory.” Damn that line hits hard

-          GIVE THE GIRL A HUG, LAYTON

-          I said a hug, not a hand on the shoulder, she needs a HUG

-          Seeing the destroyed detrogan really hammers it home, huh

-          It’s very kind of Grosky to let Whistler play one last time in memory of his daughter

-          When I got into the Layton series, I was no expecting to be hit so hard with the FEELS

-          “Do you know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”

-          GNU Ambrosia, I guess

-          Ugh it’s so PRETTY tho

-          Fucking sparkles and shit

-          D’awwwww, I love the image of Luke patching up the wolves, he’s so sweet

-          Knowing the truth about Emmy and seeing her being so happy with Layton and Luke makes it really painful :’(

-          The world needs more of Layton with a big, happy smile

-          Awww, Author Lady and Pumpkin Dude kept in touch

-          GROSKY GOT HIS UNDIES BACK

-          Ugh seeing Layton and Luke peacefully listening to that music is SO CUTE and SOFT

[fire1033]

Tell a human they can't

So one thing I have been seeing around that really bugs me is this idea that if you tell any human they can't do something or that someone else can do it better, everyone will say hold my beer. While some people, like myself, will in extreme circumstances, (see Forget that! post) if someone told me in my everyday life I am not good enough, it would hurt me, and while I may try to prove them wrong, not everyone will. Adding my own take. Keep in mind, multiple people respond in different ways, so this is just one. Feel free to add your own.

As I turned the corner, I heard Jim-whose-real-name-is-color, the captain, a 7'6" foot tall four armed behemoth, telling Cindy, "I doubt you could do that. I bet James could do it way better than you." As I saw Cindy stiffen, her eyes glistening, my vision went red.

"Captain, what the frick? Why would you ever say that to her?"

Jim turned and stared at me in surprise, and then caught Cindy's sniffle. "What do you mean? I was under the impression that telling your species they can't do something made them want to do it better." "Who in the ever living space brothel told you that? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" As the captain stared at my, Cindy turned and said "It is ok. Really. If he thinks James can do it better, let him." I glanced at Cindy, her eyes glistening with held back tears. "That is why I was hunting down the captain in the first place. James is in the gym distraught and crying because the captain said a similar thing to him!" "He did what?!" With a speed I had yet to see from her, Cindy turned and pulled herself to her full 5'2", and glared directly at the captain. "How could you do that? Don't you know how much James struggles with his self esteem?" The captain looked confused and scared, that this tiny human could burn a hole through him just seconds after being on the verge of tears seemed to throw him off balance. "But... Don't humans like being challenged and compared to others. It increases efficiency, right?" As Cindy prepared for another rant, I stepped to her side. "As angry as we are, maybe screaming at the captain now would not be best. How about you and I go comfort James, and the four of us can meet up in one hour in the break room to discuss this. Cooler heads and all that." Cindy glared at me but stalked off, and I turned to Jim. "One hour, I expect you there. If not, we will find you. This needs to be resolved ASAP."

An hour later, all four of us had met up, and James and Cindy seemed to be trying to see if humans really could kill with a glare. "How about we let Jim explain before we correct him, so we are all on the same page." After getting a nod from the other two, the captain started slowly explaining how humans had been observed making bets and challenging each other, and how that had led to advancements such as faster ships, better fuel sources, etc. It had become "common knowledge" that if you tell a human they can't do something, they will prove you wrong in so many ways.

I rubbed my temples slowly. "Yes, that is true in some cases, like when you told me I could never pass that physical test you set up because it was not made for humans, but that only works for some people and certain situations. For me, if you tell me I can't do a physical thing, I will step up because it holds no value to my self image if I fail, and when you say it you are not attacking a core part of me. I am an intellectual, so physical feats are not my forte. But if you say I am not good enough to do something like understand why people act the way they do, that is attacking my core traits, and that hurts." "Cindy piped up, "And when you tell me I am not good enough to do my JOB, it makes me feel worthless and pathetic." James just glared and replied with "Ditto." "You see, each person is different, and we have different tolerance levels. Just because it works for some things or people doesn't mean it will work for everyone. I k ow you misunderstood and meant well, but you still hurt them." Jim looked horrifies, and started apologizing profusely, promising to rectify the misinformation and to never do it again. Cindy and James both softened at his response, and James simply said, "Just improve and we will be ok. We know humans are tough, but we are also soft in some ways. You just need to be careful not to push too hard. I forgive you." "Ditto" Cindy said, throwing a smirk at James. After that, I told the Captain I would be informing Terra that there was a bit of misinformation around that way there was less of a chance of an intergalactic incident, and he agreed immediately. As I was talking to Command, the person on the other end started getting mad, then laughed and explained that this was the perfect reasoning behind the rash of complaints that aliens were "belittling" humans recently. New information on how to properly motivate and understand humans was distributed, and incidents dropped to almost 0, as nobody wants to make an enemy of the adorable iron killers.

[medea10]

Medea Just Saw Pokemon: Detective Pikachu

Well, it’s time I talk about a recent movie I just watched.

No. No, not that one.

No, I’m not going to review Lelouch of the Resurrection. It’s been almost 10 years since viewing and reviewing the entire Code Geass series and thought it’d be best to sit this one out since I’m not a hard core Geass-fangirl.

Today it’s Detective Pikachu!

Being the derpy-idiot I am, I have never played the Detective Pikachu game. I don’t know why. Not enough time on my hands? I’m gonna go with that excuse. But that doesn’t stop me from watching this creature feature. And I do mean CREATURES because this movie contains many, many, many pokemon. And not just Gen1. So you crybabies who bitch that Gen1 is the reason why no one can have nice things can stick a cork in it and watch this movie. They showed many pokemon from other generations. Just to name a few, Sneasel, Snubbull, Pancham, Greninja, Comfey, Loudred, Ludicolo, and Torterra.

I’m sure Clefable was somewhere, just not in my sight.

And you think it’s a funny that me, the derpy-idiot who never played Detective Pikachu to watch this film? My mother, who is almost 70 years old mind you, joined me in this escapade voluntarily. And to my amazement, she stayed awake the entire movie and actually liked it. Yeah, flashback to when movies # 1-5 came out and ask her to remember what she saw. She can’t answer. But I digress.

Warning before I continue, I will delve into spoilers. So...SPOILER ALERT! I hold nothing back from my “Just Saw” rants nor my actual reviews. So if you don’t want to be spoiled, sit this one out. Also be aware of the trailers that they show before the feature. There’s a good chance they’ll play that FuckUp the Hedgehog trailer. They did and I just facepalmed throughout the entire trailer (along with several other failures coming soon). NO ONE ASKED FOR LIVE ACTION DORA OR A SECOND ANGRY BIRDS!

On with it Medea! Okay, okay!

We begin the story with Mewtwo escaping from a laboratory and blowing up a car that’s driving away from the lab. Fast forward to Tim (a young adult played by Will Smith’s eldest son Justice Smith) being pressured by his friend to capture a pokemon. He gets Tim to capture a Cubone.

Now seeing a crying Cubone can trigger any true Pokemon fan due to the sad story of Cubone and his mother. And they even made a joke about how Cubone’s wearing the skull of his dead mother. Classy! But the capture didn’t go well and Cubone literally attacked Tim. Thankfully none of the Pokemon games nor Pokemon Go go that far. After that failure, Tim gets word that his father, Henry has passed away and must go to Ryme City.

Ryme City is a place where Human and Pokemon live together in harmony basically. No battles, no pokeballs, no harm. And all of this is made possible by a man named Howard Clifford (played by Bill Nighy). Tim goes to the detective agency where his father used to work to get keys to his apartment. Now from the looks of it, Tim and his old man do not see eye to eye. And the movie kinda shows little 5 second snipits of him younger every couple of seconds for a bit here. After the death of Tim’s mother when he was younger, they kinda drifted further apart.

Once Tim gets to the apartment, he’s stopped by a girl named Lucy Stevens, a girl who works as an intern at a news station. Oh yeah and she has a Psyduck (who can cause explosions with his mind if he has a headache). She’s been on the trail of Tim’s father and his disappearance. But of course that goes nowhere since it’s been years since Tim has seen his father. In his apartment Tim runs into two abnormal things. One, a capsule with purple gas. And two, a Pikachu he can understand! First the purple gas, let’s just say he accidentally released it and it got outside. Apparently, it has the power to turn pokemon demonic and vicious. Don’t believe me? Look at Aipom.

See? Cute as a button. Now look at Detective Pikachu’s...

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

If your mission was to scare children so hard they shit themselves inside-out for a week, mission fucking accomplished!

And we see these scary fucking gremlins for several minutes as a horde of them are chasing Tim out the apartment, down a garbage chute, and into the streets. But then they turned back to normal. Yeah, nothing about this is normal. A Pikachu can talk to you and you just got chased by a horde of nightmare monkeys. Nothing like a cup of coffee to calm you from this. No. No amount of coffee could ever make this right. I don’t care what Pikachu the Coffee Addict says.

So Pikachu is Tim’s father’s partner pokemon. And Pikachu is hell-bent on proving that Henry is still alive by any means necessary. Only problem is that he has amnesia and has no recollection of what happened the night Henry disappeared. On another note...

Rachel Lillis was Jigglypuff.

That’s right. O.G. Jigglypuff in the movie.

Rachel Lillis also voiced original Misty.

Just stating facts. Moving on.

Tim and Pikachu end up learning things about this mystery little by little with talking to Lucy, interrogating a Mr. Mime (and almost setting it on fire), and sneaking in an illegal underground cage match arena. Unfortunately, the owner of this arena has a vendetta against Pikachu because he hurt his Charizard in a previous match. So he wants a rematch.

Remarkably Tim knows Pikachu’s best attacks, but Pikachu can’t remember. And then dude gives his Charizard that purple gas so it goes demonic. Yeah, there have been reports of pokemon going berserk and that purple gas is the culprit. Tim gets the guy to cough up information on where he gets it. Unfortunately another capsule breaks causing all the pokemon in the arena to go berserk. Thankfully all this resolved eventually with Charizard turning back to normal and a powerful water attack from a newly-evolved Gyarados.

Tim is now convinced that his father is still alive despite video footage of his car being flipped over and on fire. Tim and Pikachu then end up meeting Howard Clifford, the visionary for the city of Ryme. He knows what happened to Tim’s father. And through holographic technology shows them that it was Mewtwo that caused the accident to happen. Not only that but Pikachu was there on the scene and Mewtwo stole his memories. The reason behind this is that Howard’s son Roger has evil plans to use Mewtwo and is the reason behind that purple gas.

Tim gets Lucy to help them get to the lab where Mewtwo escaped from. Inside, they discovered more than they bargained for. While the lab was still abandoned and a wreck after Mewtwo destroyed the place, there were still Greninja and Torterra held in captivity. Pikachu hacks into the computer to see holographic flashbacks of moments before Mewtwo’s escape, including learning that Henry caught Mewtwo in the first place. Apparently Roger plans on manipulating with pokemon evolution and created the purple gas from Mewtwo. But then shit got real when the Greninja escaped from their pods and attacked Lucy and Tim.

As they escaped, Greninja went after them and was ready to attack. And now it’s time for Psyduck to step up. Unlike Psyduck in the anime with psychic attacks, this Psyduck’s attack when it gets a headache attacks like this...

Which then caused a literal tectonic shift. But we can blame that on those captive Torterra. Because they are fucking giant. We proceed in several minutes of Lucy and Tim trying to escape from falling to their deaths. They do well with that except Pikachu wound up badly hurt. But thankfully a herd of Bulbasaur led Tim and Pikachu to a place in the forest to get help. Unfortunately that help came in the form of Mewtwo. And then Mewtwo was captured by Roger.

After all that, Pikachu starts to recover some memories and realizes that he thinks he’s to blame for Henry’s disappearance. Which causes Pikachu to finally spark up for the first time in the film (well over an hour in) and also split from Tim. So Pikachu wanders around by himself (while singing the first Pokemon opening) and Tim and Lucy drive back to town just in time for a parade. Tim heads up to tell Howard Clifford what his son was up to. But then...

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN...

Howard was the mastermind this entire time. After being diagnosed with a crippling disease that has now left him in a wheelchair, he went overboard with wanting to transfer his mind into the body of Mewtwo and through a machine, he was able to make that dream into a reality. His mind is now in the body of Mewtwo, literally the world’s strongest pokemon. Next phase, release the purple gas onto the crowd of people at the parade and have people’s minds in their pokemon’s bodies. Lucy tries to stop it from happening by trying to warn her colleagues and higher-ups but to no avail.

Pikachu finds a clue at the scene of Henry’s accident and thinks he’s got it all figured out and heads back to town. Pikachu ends up in a fight with Mewtwo that lasts several minutes. With pretty good effects for Volt Tackle and other attacks. Tim ends up finding Howard’s son tied up in a closet. Yeah, Roger was a good guy this whole time. But Tim ends up fighting with a pokemon. Or should I say, several pokemon in one. The answer is Ditto. Howard had a Ditto. And since all Ditto can do is transform, it has been transforming into different people this whole time to keep everyone thinking that Roger, Howard’s son was the bad guy.

Ditto turns into Machamp, Aipom, and other pokemon to take out Tim. Before you ask, yes all of them had those beady eyes. And then to add more nightmare fuel, it transformed into Tim’s love interest Lucy. The best way to describe Ditto transforming into Lucy would be this...

Yeah, it was that creepy.

Long story short with the fights, Tim was able to rip the machine of Howard which stopped Mewtwo. And Ditto deflated eventually. Mewtwo now has his body back in control again so he made things right. Mewtwo turned everybody back to normal again. Then got Tim’s father back to him. How?

The night of the accident, Mewtwo put Henry’s mind in Pikachu’s body and lure Tim to help him with this case. So Tim’s father was in Pikachu this whole time.

In the aftermath, Roger Clifford took over his father’s business and is going to set things right with the lab and earn back the public’s trust (all the while Howard being dragged off by police). Lucy gets a promotion. Tim is about to leave to go back home but decides to leave that old life behind and live with his father...Henry Ryan Reynolds and Pikachu. Hey, let’s face it. Selling insurance can suck it when you can solve mysteries with a Pikachu and your father.

Oh yeah...

I ship them so hard.

This movie was...interesting. I didn’t hate it but I still find my own faults with it. There were several things that kinda bothered me. At the beginning, I felt like the acting was kind of hokey especially when it came to Tim and Lucy. But it got better as the story went along. Next, they never really explained why Tim didn’t really want a pokemon or partner pokemon. Was it because when he was supposed to become a trainer his mother died? I feel like I missed that connection.

With the pokemon...I know I gave a lot of flack for many of the designs when the trailer first came out late last year, but many of it was very creative. A good look at what everyone would look like in the real world. I just could have done without Mr. Mime and Aipom. But definite creativity with pokemon like Octillery, Snubbull, and Flareon.

And Ryan Reynolds...yes, he did superb. All of you hyper fan people that yelled at executives for years to get this to happen, thank you. And thank you for the casting agents that got him to play Pikachu. And thank you for adding the word “Hell” to the Pokemon universe. It’s out there. And also, thank you for having Ikue Ohtani voice Pikachu normally.

Despite all my irks with this picture, I thought it was fine. I did enjoy the twists this story gave me and I do give a recommendation to go see it. And perhaps one day I’ll play Detective Pikachu.

Pokemon’s Detective Pikachu is now in theaters. Oh yeah and they also give out Pokemon Trading Cards at the theaters too. You know, just like in the good old days. I got Pikachu, Psyduck, and Jigglypuff.

[tiggerpup91]

The Four Sword Links & Smash Bros

So earlier last month some friends and I were talking about the FS Links playing Smash, and I kinda ended up ranting and going on off on a fun tangent about it. Thought I’d share it with all of ya’ll, too! (Note: I never played the Wii U version, unfortunately. Most of this headcanon-ing is based off of Brawl.) Warning: LONG post! 

First off, their mains! Vio is obviously a Fox main. After all, Fox is the best, that’s an undeniable fact, and Vio only uses the winning strategies. Blue’s main is Link (duh) because Link is the best and don’t you DARE say otherwise. Green mains Pit, because he likes Pit’s versatility and maneuverability. Red... well, Red used to have a different main, but now mains Pikachu, just because he’s cute. What WAS his first main? Well...

The first time the Links played together, they did a four-way smash based on stocks. Blue was playing too aggressive, fighting anyone who gets near him recklessly, and getting a lot of SD’s. Green couldn’t ever focus on just one enemy to attack, so he doesn’t get many kills. Vio is tactful and focused, avoiding getting killed or SD’ing. So at the end of it all, Green is pretty sure he lost and is okay with that, while Blue and Vio are arguing over which one of them won...

Victory screen pops up, and, surprise surprise, Red’s the winner! Blue can’t help but laugh while Vio curses the game for being wrong, Red hides behind Green (whose head is in his hands). 

Needless to say, after this Red is no longer allowed to play as Kirby.

After a while, the Links get better at the game and play more often. Whenever Blue is playing against Vio, he switches to Meta Knight because he knows how much it bugs Vio. Of course, he always loses in these cases (which only adds fuel to Vio believing Fox is superior), but Blue just enjoys getting under Vio’s skin. When Blue plays the others, his Link is surprisingly good! Link’s got lots of tactical moves- hookshot, bombs, boomerang- and Blue uses them all well. He just sometimes forgets about Link’s poor recovery.

Meanwhile, if you’re playing against Red and end up above the screen, well, you’re already dead. “PIKAAAA!” is the last thing you’ll hear after a Thunder, with Red quickly playing innocent only for Vio to insist that ONLY PIKACHU KNOWS THAT MOVE, RED. Red’s also surprisingly hard to kill due to Pikachu’s recovery, and often uses this to playfully tease the others. “Missed me! Missed me!”

Of course, we can’t forget Shadow! Shadow changes whoever he plays depending on who he’s playing against- but if he’s against all four of them, he’ll go with Dark Pit. Mostly so that he can bait Blue into Green, then score a hit against Vio (who’s currently defending from “pika-CHUU”, “pika-CHUU”). 

When Shadow’s playing against Blue, he picks Bowser- only because he knows how much it ticks off Blue, and whenever Blue starts to get too over-confident, Shadow just grabs him and jumps off the side with him. Against Red, he plays Pokemon Trainer- mostly because he knows how much Red loves the cute little Pokemon, and honestly, Shadow just wants to see Red happy whenever he can. Besides, three characters provides for a lot of options against the annoying ball of electricity that is Pikachu.

Against Green, Shadow picks Ganondorf and almost solely uses Warlock Punches and grab-SD’s. Eventually, Green stops playing unless they’re doing a group brawl, or unless items are on. And against Vio, Shadow will go with Falco. He wants to make sure Vio gets an even challenge with his Fox- currently, the two of them have a tied record (neither one can ever get more than two wins ahead of the other). 

Shadow once saw a video of Jigglypuff’s Rest attack. He practiced for hours in secret, then challenged each one of the Links to a one-on-one match, just to Rest KO them, and see their reactions. He never used it again, but he’ll still threaten to bring out his Jigglypuff if the others start annoying him too much. This is around the time that Green, head in hands, decides he’ll only play one-on-one battles from now on if items are turned on.

Once, Shadow bribed them all into doing a five-way, 100-man stock Ganondorf battle. 

It went about as well as you’d expect.

Near the hour-mark, Green starts to SD repeatedly. Of course, no one liked that so they ganged up on Green- which ultimately had the result of Green dying first. That was exactly what Green wanted, though, so it kinda backfired on the others. Still, Green knew he had to be the first one out... so that he could break up any fights if the others got too angry once the game got down to the last few stocks.

After Green goes out, Blue and Vio start going at each other more hardcore, with Red thinking he could stay safe and out of the way and just let the other two go at it. Shadow sees this and instantly is like “nope”, focusing just on Red and bothering him endlessly. Which, of course, results in both Blue and Vio temporarily suspending their own battle so they can gang up on Shadow. He goes out next.

Shadow tries to leave, but Green won’t let that happen. He grabs Shadow by the collar. “If I have to suffer through the rest of this, so do you.” Fair enough, and Shadow sits back down.

At this point, Red starts becoming more of a spectator again. After all, it’s worked so far, right? Even when he accidentally SD’s, he’s still got way more stocks than Blue and Vio. However, he can’t help himself- and when one of the others is sent flying off-stage, Red opportunistically jumps in and lands a Warlock Punch, KO’ing them. Big mistake. Vio and Blue then wordlessly agree to do nothing but use Warlock Punches against Red for the next two minutes or so, resulting in Red’s elimination. “PLAYER THREE, DEFEATED!” Red pouts. Green worries, because now he’s gonna have to likely diffuse yet another Blue/Vio fight.

Now, neither Blue nor Vio are experienced with using Ganondorf. Vio is better at strategy and being slow and careful, whereas Blue is less patient and doesn’t like being forced to slow down and plan out his moves. However, at the same time, Vio is used to a fast-responsive character like Fox, and Blue is used to the bad recovery of Link and slower attacks. It’s pretty even, down to the last few stocks... 

They KO each other at the same time with their last stock, resulting in a Sudden Death. (Yeah, I know it’s technically ‘not possible’ in Brawl, lots of things in this post aren’t, but look it’s magic okay). 1 stock left, 999% damage. Both of them can’t land a killing blow against each other, neither one wanting to take the risk to get close enough to the other and get killed, and before they know it the bombs start falling. Vio takes shelter from them, but Blue is all “GET OVER HERE” and lands a Warlock Punch on Vio as he’s trying to avoid a bomb.

Of course, as Vio’s Ganondorf is flying off stage, Blue doesn’t notice the bomb about to hit his own character. Both of them are sent flying.

“GAME!”

At first, Green doesn’t know what to do- stand in between the two, or cover Red’s ears from all of Blue’s curses. Vio is smug and wordlessly puts down his controller, crossing his arms confidently, while Blue screams that he only lost because of the bombs so technically Vio didn’t win, he just got lucky. Shadow is, of course, an incoherent mess of laughter and crying in the background. Red’s trying to remember all the colorful words Blue is using, so he can look them up later.

It’s a few days before Green lets any of the others back on the Wii. And from then on, Ganondorf-dittos become forbidden.... 

Except when Green’s not around. ;) 

-Tigger

[kindofgirlicouldlove]

ok let's get serious Hutchies

The last rockstar doco -

had high hopes. Really I did. Then $the opening$ oh my nesmith

Desecration ! Farce! Insult! What the actual fuck !

I was very very angry about this whole pos

Pos - piece of shit ok!?’

The music= good 

The fucking bullshit= fuck you 

On the upside it made me appreciate Hutchs solo album more but let's be real - we already appreciate it !

Simon Le Bon can fuck right off

Ditto Tina money grabbing pos CUNT !

And part 2 I had to turn off the tv I couldn't go on

Which meant I missed the footage of the ashes being released

I'm so glad INXS had nothing to do witH this 

Fuck you Tina again 

End rant