emanation-aura

[emanation-aura]

Frodo…I swore to protect you.

[emanation-aura]

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

[emanation-aura]

sometimes a theme recurs in your work without your permission. and sometimes it reaches a threshold where you're like. well now i think this is saying something about me against my will. don't know what though

[emanation-aura]

Every day I wake up on this forsaken earth and remember that Baizhu and Kirara use Iniquitous Baptist boss drops and despair.

Yes, 3.6, we needed a new abyss boss for plot reasons, I understand. Let's assign it to the doctor from Liyue and the Inazuman courier cat nekomata and never look at it again.

This is nearly as sinful as Alhaitham and Mika using Setekh Wenut materials, but I digress.

[emanation-aura]

[emanation-aura]

Me at age 13, exhausted at school after staying up all night to read fanfic: I can’t wait until I’m an adult and I can stay up reading without any consequences!

Me, an adult, exhausted at work after staying up all night reading fanfic: Fuck.

[emanation-aura]

its called irony poisoning bc it makes u sick in the head

[emanation-aura]

rb with your most common recurring theme in your nightmares. mine is pregnancy

[emanation-aura]

I am Zaura, god of the three people who have died

(…I think there are more than three to be honest)

I am Arran, god of the most important thing

EDIT: if y'all don’t wanna use your name use your username

[emanation-aura]

me watching 'gratuitous' sex and violence and ''problematic representation'' in my shows and movies made for adults

[emanation-aura]

ON the subject of undernegotiated kink in fanfiction. i think we should talk more about how the concept of "not talking about it" is just as much wish fulfillment for some people as "in-depth, therapy-speak conversations where everyone is clear and understood" is for others

like yes, in reality the antidote to shame is open honest conversation with someone who will validate your feelings and wants blah blah blah but SOMETIMES what i want out of my fanfic is characters being understood without having to expose themselves in that way. SOMETIMES it's fun to not dismantle the shame and repression all the way and to instead treat that understanding-despite-not-being-clear as the fantasy

[emanation-aura]

me: writing is my coping mechanism.

also me: *puts my characters through the same emotional turmoil i’m actively avoiding*

[emanation-aura]

"Dont drink coffee after 2 PM" is such a neurotypical issue that sounds made up. Such a thing couldnt happen to me, ADHD Georg, who has coffee past 9:30 PM and can still fall asleep freely because I have a natural toxicity resistance to caffeine.

[emanation-aura]

Reading through through my wips like holy fuck it’s so obvious when I started a thing to deal with being upset huh.

[emanation-aura]

I have tried to find it but cannot. So I appeal for aid— does anyone have that GIF from that one Tumblr post about rotating blorbos in your head that’s like a ‘tumbler’ with machinery constantly rotating something. I have seen it about a thousand times but cannot for the life of me find a copy of the post. Please send help

[emanation-aura]

The rise of folks adding addendums to their tags for their work is making me sad again. “Not ship art,” or “Tag this as X and I’ll [threat],” or even just “i’m so sorry I made this,” like. Babes. You made it. Enjoy it. But I’m not going to get the exact same thing out of any kind of art as you, no matter what it is. I argued over the yellow wallpaper until I was blue in the damn face because how I interact with art stems from my life, and only I have lived my life. You’re going to interact differently. Why is this not a good thing?

I don’t know, it seems maybe not a good thing that so much effort goes into restricting who’s allowed to enjoy what or that we’re so worried about things being enjoyed the ‘wrong way’. Can we let people scrape together what little joy they can?

I’ve taken to blocking those kind of tags. I don’t want to see your stuff if you’re going to try and make me feel like shit about it in your endless pursuit of a false purity. I just want to dig my grubby little hands into the things that bring me happiness and hold on tight. Are you even allowing yourself joy?

[emanation-aura]

just found out that if i stay in my room all the time my life will eventually shrink to the size of it and i will lose all memory of how to function as a person. shocked & upset