#diss: an advice column

[thislovintime]

A few more selections from the Ask Peter Tork advice column:

Dear Peter! I have a problem with my volume in choir. My director is always telling me to sing louder, but I’m afraid of not sounding good/messing up, so I tend to veer away from singing out. I just don’t want to mess up. I was wondering, do you know of any good ways to squash that perfectionist side of me? Bay, 13

Dear Bay, Yeah. Sing out loud, mess up a bunch and laugh right out loud at yourself. Also, check out the others in choir. Any of them singing worse than you would? Yes? I thought so. OK, then. Singing well at a new volume level takes a bit of practice, tho’, and you might want to warn your director and everyone around you that it may take a bit of time before you are singing loudly and well. BTW, there will be no squashing sides of oneself on my watch, no suppressing the perfectionist. Rather celebrate another side of yourself, the lovable imperfect side, and let the perfectionist side be. That side has her virtues, too, and can be a good friend sometimes. Keep rockin’, Peter

* * *

If you want to hear from someone who’s older than you, you’ve come to the right place. That ‘Don’t quit before the miracle,’ which of course is not remotely original with me, is maybe one of the best general advises I have. (Can that be the plural of ‘advice’? ) Another, which kind of is a bit more original with me, is, ‘Be a hero to yourself.’ By that I mean, regard your life’s story in the same light as those tales of Greek and Roman heroes, who were born to kings and queens and found their lives dashed down to humble circumstances, and who redeemed their lives thru heroic deeds (with a lot of help). Those heroic stories, it turns out, are everybody’s stories, and it’s deeply useful, I am convinced, to regard ourselves as that kind of hero. Hang in there, and don’t quit just before the miracle. Peter

* * *

I won't go nearly so far as to say that everything that came up in the 60's was valid, but as far as I'm concerned, the 60's were to what will come as Greece was to democracy. Remember that in the 60's the political officeholders had lost all touch with the needs of the nation...kind of like the Bush administration now.  Back then the voice of the establishment, Life magazine, was discovered to have doctored photos falsely indicating that LSD caused chromosomal damage. That proved what we (then) kids already knew: that those at the top preached fair play and honesty, but had no more need to honor those concepts than what would give them the next dollar without too much trouble. We saw perfectly clearly that we were on our own, that no one in authority cared about us. Now, like any bunch of kids left to their own devices, some, many, went off the rails. Every false step by somebody walking around under the cloak of the liberal hippy 60's was used as a pretext for dissing the entire generation. Those of us who were truly interested in liberty, fraternity and equality, however, knew we were onto something good and real. What had been called democracy was, and to some extent still is, a pretext for wrapping the will of the greedy and aggressive in a mantle of public acquiescence. Now, the business of wresting power away from those who make a specialty of wielding it will be a long and protracted struggle, with a lot of setbacks along the way. The outlines of the new style of governance are only dimly perceivable, and won't become clear for a long time to come. In the meantime, our job is to practice the principles of fairness and service to the extent possible. One thing is clear: there is a much higher joy in service than there is in acquisition of wealth. (Remember that it isn't money that's the root of all evil, it's the love of money.)  Hanging together in brother - and sisterhood is so happy-making you want to sing right out loud.

Yeah, I feel the same about those ideas as I did then...in case you couldn't tell. heheheh, Peter

More advice from Peter here and here. Plus, with it being February 12th, and thus the anniversary of Peter's appearance on Loveline (on this date in 1995), here are a few snippets: one, two, and three.

[the-english-student-studyblr]

Writing a dissertation: Research

So this is part 2 of the dissertation guide! Part 1 has been...surprisingly popular? Thanks for that everyone. If you want to check that out, and any other posts in this series (which will be coming eventually) you'll want to search/follow the tag #diss: an advice column which is the tag I'll be using for my own organisation puproses.

Without further ado, RESEARCH! The most time consuming, soul-sucking and/or insanity inducing part of essay writing in general and dissertation dials this up to 11. Top tip number 1: pick a topic you enjoy otherwise you will crave death and no one can save you from the hell you are putting yourself through. I will do a whole post on narrowing down topic choices maybe? If people think that would be useful I can write up some thoughts for you. But this is about research, and so we will move on to how to actually research.

Step 1:

Read the primary source material.

This sounds very simple and that's because it is BUT when reading things for a dissertation or any assignment really, you'have to come at it from a slightly different angle, one that allows you to pick out potential points to research further, or analyse, or discuss in your final work. If you are working with 2 texts, find points of comparison. One of the things I did very early on was make mindmaps as I read each book, of things I picked out as relating to the theme I was working with (see below), which isn't something you need to do, but remember that this is a very long process, so writing ideas down early can be helpful.

Step 2:

This is where you start doing preliminary searches for secondary materials. This should be at around the start of the term in which you are doing dissertation (for me, it was beginning of February, because our dissertation module was only 1 term), probably before your first supervisor meeting. You're going to want to go to your university library website, and do a very basic search. As an example, my dissertation was on children's lit and colonialism, so I would do a search for, perhaps, 'Kipling AND imperialism' (as I was using 'the jungle books'), or even just 'The Jungle Books', and scroll through all that. Reading whatever introduction is provided in your copy of the primary text is also a good shout, if there is one. You're not looking for in-depth analysis here, just broad concepts, things that stand out to you, points of interest, and - crucially - texts that get referenced a lot. If something is referred to by loads of academics in the field, it's a pretty safe bet that they're accurate, useful, and well-regarded as a source. In my case, almost every source I read that talked about Kipling used the works of either Perry Nodelman, Don Randall, or both, so my next step was to seek those works out.

Step 3:

Use your supervisor. I cannot stress this enough, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, USE YOUR SUPERVISOR. They know what they're talking about. They know what sources to recommend. They know how dissertation works. If you are lucky, they will have copies of books you may need that they will lend you when the library inevitably doesn't have them. Please, just ask for their advice. It's what they're paid for. Have a meeting with them as early as possible, or just email them, and see what they say. If you have research struggles, they will assist, or at least give you a starting point.

Step 4:

When you're reading secondary material, you can sort of do the same thing as what you did when you were reading the primary texts. Look for themes and analyses that are useful. Write them down. The whole time you are researching, do your reading actively, and take as many notes as you need to. I tended to do this by saving quotes, and leaving myself notes with the ones that piqued my interest or I thought particularly note-worthy. For example:

It is worth noting that while I did a lot of my initial research note-taking on paper (see: the mindmaps in step 1), I later migrated to scrivener for ease of access, which I highly recommend.

Step 5:

Now you're really on a roll, organisation is your best friend. If you're doing everything by hand, use a folder with dividers or sections. If you're doing it on a computer, do whatever works for you that is similar. In my case, using scrivener was a god-send, because - even though my laptop frequently blue-screened - scrivener's 'save-as-you-type' feature meant I lost no work at all, and the fact you can do planning and writing in the same massive file worked really well. Scrivener also does footnotes, endnotes, citations, and comments, which is utterly brilliant, and it has a pre-set template for academic essays, which sets up a title page for you and compiles everything for export really nicely. I promise I am not a scrivener salesperson, I just love this horrifying garbage software that I paid 30 quid for.

Anyway, with organisation in mind, it's worth sorting out citations/footnoting/bibliography while still in the research phase. I do this while writing other essays too, but when pulling quotes, or research notes, consider taking the time to write out your full citation at the top of each section, or in another easy-to-find spot. Scrivener does note cards that sit on top of each section on your 'corkboard' and that was where I put mine. My research section ended up looking like this, which I think is quite lovely:

I'm a big fan of colour-coding, so if you're focusing on multiple texts, maybe consider doing that too.

Step 6:

Know when to stop.

This is the tip I still have the most problems with, to be honest. I was still doing research the week my dissertation was due, while I was writing it, and I started at least 4 months before the deadline. I could've kept going for at least one more. The truth is, any topic you choose will probably have a million avenues you could take, and as many sources to read, and you will never be able to read them all, no matter how much you want to. Falling down the rabbit hole is normal, and honestly? it's kind of a sign you chose the right research topic. BUT there is a point where any more research is just going to confuse you, or not actually add anything that hasn't already been said, or distract from your thesis with a point that just isn't as strong. There is a point at which you have to take a step back, and say "ok, this is enough for now," and if it turns out you need some more later, you can go find it. That point is slightly different for everyone, but I'd say that when you get to the stage where you're finding five or six different sources that rehash the same arguments in slightly different ways, you've probably got enough; if you have enough to make a detailed plan complete with what sources you can use for each point, you've probably got enough; if you're at the point where you recognise every name mentioned, and every source in the bibliographies of articles, you've probably got enough. Obviously it is better to have too much research than not enough, but there comes a time when continuing to read does more harm than good, when stopping and beginning to write is the more productive use of your time.

--

To summarise: Being organised, and taking notes as you go will really help in the long-run, especially if you need an annotated bibliography. Being able to look back and know exactly what you were thinking when you read a specific text is really valuable, and being able to find stuff so you're not constantly searching for that one quote you read one time is likewise very important. Start early, use all the resources you have available (I'd recommend checking AT LEAST two or three different databases for sources, like jstor, google scholar, literature online, project muse, proquest, whatever else your university has access to), and all the people you have available too. Speak to your supervisor, your lecturers, your classmates, any postgrads you know because they all have information that could be useful.

But most importantly, take care of yourself. Don't burn yourself out (and that's definitely another post topic). And try to have fun with it. This isn't meant to be torture, it's meant to be the culminating achievement of your degree, your pride and joy, something that you can show off to all your friends like 'look at this cool thing I did' and then info-dump about it for half an hour. So please, if you've learnt anything from this, I hope you've learnt enough to make the research process not-terrible. It'll drive you insane, but hopefully it won't be quite so awful as it could be.

[rotationalsymmetry]

From Dear Prudence:

Q. Should I rat out my neighbor’s day care? Like many other families, we’ve moved from the city to the suburbs during the pandemic to have more space for ourselves. One of our new neighbors is running an unlicensed day care, as has become very obvious over the past few months. I can deal with the inconveniences that come with it, like double-parked cars and blocked sidewalks during drop-off or pickup times, and I’m very sympathetic to the needs of working parents with no place to put their kids in these times. However, it’s noticeable that neither the neighbor nor any of the parents are wearing masks. It’s a constant barrage of maskless parents and kids entering and leaving the house. Our county still isn’t out of the woods and is seeing increasing cases.

What’s my responsibility here? I’ve held my breath so far, but I can’t stop feeling that this operation endangers the community at large, and I’m tempted to involve the authorities. However, I also feel like I shouldn’t make this my business because it helps out a bunch of parents during difficult times, and it looks like vaccinations are going to make a real difference in the pandemic, regardless of how irresponsibly some people behave.

A: The salient question here is “Would involving the authorities likely make these children and their parents safer?” If the answer is not a straightforward “Yes,” then you should consider your other options, like introducing yourself to your neighbor and talking to her directly about getting her guests/visitors/clients to wear masks. You might even offer to put out a box of masks for parents and their kids to draw from, which would be a much easier and low-conflict way to address the problem than calling the cops.

source here

[ayrthwil]

Oi gente, tudo bem com vocês? Estou trazendo a parte 2 da minha lista de mods. Esse como eu disse anteriormente é uma pasta de variados então existe muitos mods completamente diferentes.

Já adiantando que essa lista de hoje é grande. Então vamos começar.

Em uma linha oculta de Ley - Esse é um traço que eu gosto bastante quando quero brincar com sobrenaturais aleatórios. O que ele faz? Acrescenta um traço para o lote que permite que o bebê gerado pela ação "tentar ter um bebê" possa ser qualquer um dos sobrenaturais existentes no jogo sem se importar se os pais dele são humanos ou outro tipo de sobrenatural. Eu gosto bastante dele e uso ele a um bom tempo.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/632499/on-an-occult-ley-line-lot-trait.html

Quadro de apresentações comprável - Esse é um daqueles modfix essenciais que você precisa ter, pra quem lembra, existe um bug no Vida universitária em que o quadro de apresentações simplesmente some e você não consegue recupera-lo, com esse mod você pode simplesmente comprar outro.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/635633/get-back-your-presentation-board.html

Fraquezas de vampiros opcionais - Veja bem, não é que eu não goste dos meus vampiros terem fraquezas, eu apenas não gosto de ser forçada a comprar o mesmo tanto de fraquezas o tempo todo e é justamente por isso que eu uso esse mod. Muito útil pra fazer um vampirão completamente defeituoso ou completamente perfeito.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/614958/optional-vampire-weaknesses.html

Não se mova no CAS - Esse é um mod que eu não consigo viver sem, simplesmente não sou capaz de suportar que os sims fiquem se mexendo o tempo todo. Eu gosto de olha-los e poder arrumar seu visual sem interrupções.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/630172/stand-still-in-cas-shimrod101-amp-shooksims.html

Anel de luz do dia - Outro problema com os vampiros ao meu ver, resistência a luz solar é legal? Sim, é legal, mas eu sempre imagino que isso seja um dom raro e que a maioria dos vampiros não deveriam ter, mas sabe o que seria mais raro? Uma relíquia familiar vampírica que permite que você ande no sol! Eu simplesmente amo a ideia que esse anel passa e é por isso que eu o uso.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/618744/daylight-ring-mod.html

Orelhas pontudas desbloqueadas no CAS - Sempre gostei de criar sims com orelhas de elfo ou vampiro mas infelizmente isso não era liberado para os humanos, pois bem, agora é.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/596028/pointed-ears-as-cas-sliders.html

Propostas autônomas - Sempre quis ser pedido em casamento ou em namoro pelo npc que ta de namorico com o seu sim? Agora você pode! Com esse mod os sims podem pedi-lo em namoro ou casamento e o melhor de tudo, você recebe uma mensagem perguntando se você quer aceitar esse compromisso ou não. Bem útil.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/591860/autonomous-proposals.html

Estabilizador de híbridos - Pra você que assim como eu já corrompeu um save apenas por casar seu sim feiticeiro com um vampiro e ter um lindo bebê hibrido seus problemas acabaram. Esse mod completíssimo promete estabilizar seus sims hibridos e te permite alterar e personalizar todas as formas ocultas dele! Além disso ainda é possível comprar todas as vantagens e desvantagens de um vampiro feiticeiro por exemplo! Além de ser capaz de ver os dois modificadores extras que só eles possuem. É simplesmente o melhor amigo dos sims que amam sobrenaturais.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/647863/all-in-one-occult-hybrid-stabilizer.html

Desbloqueador de híbrido oculto - Bom, digamos que para o mod anterior funcionar, é necessário que você baixe este também, então apenas faça isso ok?

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/643617/occult-hybrid-unlocker.html

Festa sangrenta - Eu já falei que eu amo vampiros? Pois bem, esse mod permite que você planeje um evento super chique e refinado para beber sangue humano sem que os sims fiquem bravos ou ofendidos com você e o melhor, o prêmio do evento também envolve alimentos vampiros. Yeeh!

DOWNLOAD: https://ilkavelle.wixsite.com/simsquest/post/bloody-party-event

Resolução de conflitos - Se assim como eu você nunca entendeu porque a resolução de conflitos não aumenta no bate papo do seu computador, agora você não precisa. Esse mod faz literalmente isso, resolução de conflitos ao usar o bate papo.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/642522/computer-chat-to-gain-conflict-resolution.html

Caçador de Vampiros - Eu gosto de coisas clichês, vocês não? Que tal um belíssimo caçador se apaixonando por um vampiro? Esse mod adiciona um traço de caçador de vampiro que te permite farejar um vampiro nas proximidades. Ser um caçador te faz ser mais resistente e ter mais força, além de aprender tudo sobre vampiros muito mais rápido que qualquer humano. Você pode produzir agua benta, estacas, eletrolaser e uma adaga, tudo isso para seu maravilhoso confronto final contra o conde Vlad, ou seria contra o Caleb? E você acha que para por ai? Não não não, você ainda pode fazer o maravilhoso anel de ressureição só pro caso de levar uma coça da Lilite Vatore. Além disso o mod adiciona duas aspirações novinhas pra sua vida de caçador, a primeira aspiração se chama ESCOLHIDO, mas escolhido para o que? Bom, se você é da onda de crepúsculo, também temos a belíssima aspiração de romance proibido, quem nunca sonhou em dar uns beijinhos no vampiro? Seja qual for sua escolha, esse mod é ideal.

DOWNLOAD: https://ilkavelle.wixsite.com/simsquest/post/vampire-slayer-trait

Aspiração Drácula - Um excelente combo para o mod anterior, afinal, que tal se tornar o vampiro ORIGINAL? Parece bacana né? Com esse mod uma nova aspiração é liberada, ao concluí-la você será libertado de todas as suas fraquezas vampíricas e nunca mais se tornará humano.

DOWNLOAD: https://ilkavelle.wixsite.com/simsquest/post/dracula-aspiration

Mais colunas para o CAS - Bom, o que posso dizer? É realmente uma pasta de mods diversos. Faz o que o nome diz, você com toda certeza conhece.

DOWNLOAD: https://www.patreon.com/posts/more-columns-in-27751117

Não! Pare de pedir conselhos - Se assim como eu você simplesmente não suporta que seus filhos saiam por ai pedindo conselhos para todo mundo e fazendo com que seus traços caiam por causa disso, esse mod é pra você. Tudo que ele faz é bloquear os pedidos autônomos de conselho que seus filhos fariam normalmente. Excelente para evitar aquele estresse todo.

DOWNLOAD: https://modthesims.info/d/598495/no-ask-for-advice-parenthood.html

Poderes alienígenas para mestiços - Você sempre se perguntou porque seu filho meio alienígena e meio humano não tinha poderes? Eu sim, e é por isso que eu tenho esse mod. Agora seus sims mestiços poderão ter os mesmos poderes de seu pai/mãe alien.

DOWNLOAD: https://www.patreon.com/posts/enable-alien-for-42116105

Vampiro infantil - A primeira pergunta que eu faço é, PORQUE EA, PORQUE? Eu nunca entendi porque os sims precisavam esperar até a adolescência para terem poderes. Qual o sentido de seu filho vampiro comer comida humana? Esse mod torna as crianças verdadeiros vampiros. Tudo que um adulto pode fazer, eles também fazem.

DOWNLOAD: https://www.patreon.com/posts/child-vampires-42118211

Notas ruins estão ok - Eu sei que as crianças precisam ir bem na escola, mas sempre senti falta dos meus filhos poderem ser crianças más e não se comportarem bem, afinal, eu não queria que a assistente social batesse na minha porta. Com esse mod eu não preciso mais me preocupar, meus filhos podem ter nota zero e mesmo assim eles não serão levados embora.

DOWNLOAD: https://www.patreon.com/posts/bad-grades-are-27849345

Crianças e bebês podem morrer de qualquer coisa - Me perdoe por isso, mas eu realmente sentia falta de os meus filhos sofrerem acidentes as vezes, não que eu desejasse, mas confesso que amo realismo.

DOWNLOAD: https://www.patreon.com/posts/children-can-die-27849431

Restaurante fix - Bom, na verdade isso não é apenas um mod, são vários que você pode baixar de acordo com o seu gosto, mas eu simplesmente decidi trazer como se fosse um só. Vou dar um resumo de algumas funcionalidades do mod, famílias completas podem ocupar uma mesa do restaurante e se divertirem juntas, sims podem pedir sorvete e outros alimentos do vá ao trabalho, suas crianças podem comer os alimentos e ficarão sentados na mesa (odeio aquela andação sem sentido), as refeições terão qualidade melhor (meu paladar refinado agradece), os sorvetes vem visualmente decorados por padrão, mais cafés disponíveis e muito mais coisas. Recomendo que escolham quais vocês querem e baixem, mas eu uso praticamente todos.

DOWNLOAD: https://deichschafblog.de/bienchen/rund-um-mahlzeiten-food-related/

Crianças podem fazer mais - Eu gosto que meus filhos sejam independentes, mesmo que seja preparar um miojo ou ajudar a regar as plantas e eu odeio o fato de que as crianças não podiam fazer isso. Com esse conjunto de mods, seus filhos podem fazer praticamente tudo, desde cozinhar, cuidar do jardim, se exercitar, receber massagem e até usar feitiços.

DOWNLOAD: https://www.patreon.com/posts/new-update-kids-43983833

DOWNLOAD: https://www.patreon.com/posts/realistic-kids-41547853

Spoiler sobre o próximo tema ~Icemunmun~

CRIADORES:

nyandesu - MizoreYukii - RevyRei - r3m - TheMoonlightEffect - CmarNYC - PolarBearSims - Iced Cream - TwelfthDoctor1 - wertyuio86 - weerbesu - @plzsaysike - scarlet - bienchens - ilkavelle - ferdiana

[toongrrl-blog]

The Mommy Myth: Mouthing Off to Dr. Spock (Part One)

American Motherhood in the 1970s was undergoing a real revolution: the country had a 9% unemployment rate, 15% inflation rate, 18%-20% mortgage rates, and President Ford wanted to whip inflation and the most rapidly growing segment of the workforce was mothers with preschool children (Hi Joan Holloway and Kevin, Hi Joyce Byers and Jonathon and Will). In 1970, 40% of married mothers worked and in 1984, 59% of married mothers worked. In 1970, only 24% of mothers with a child one year old or younger worked and in 1984 that jumped to 46.8% Black married mothers were more likely to be in the workforce than white counterparts (won’t be surprised if Mrs. Sinclair had worked outside the home in contrast to Karen) and single-parent households increased by 79% during the 1970s and 90% were headed by women. 

Back then there were few daycare centers, no maternity leave (paid or unpaid), no flex time, no after-school programs, and not the Family Leave Act (mothers still call in sick to watch a sick child) and the VCR and microwave weren’t widely available. 

“This generation of women, who are now approximately 50 years old and older, who raised kids in the 1970s and beyond--these are the ones who are great. It is because of them that companies even established daycare centers, that there are tax deductions for childcare expenses, that there is maternity and even paternity leave (however paltry), that there are now baby seats in supermarket carts. If you are one of these mothers, and your now grown children are even remotely functioning, stand up and take a bow.” The Mommy Myth (2004), Susan J. Douglas and Meredith Michaels

Media centering on motherhood, from women’s magazines to sitcoms, family films were all frozen in 1957. At the same time there was more research being performed on children and infants, to assist in advice columns for moms raising their kids in different circumstances than their parents raised them. But the columnists were often serving mom guilt and had stay in the kitchen attitudes and sitcom moms hardly got angry with their kids and were always soothing and gentle like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Walton and unlike Flor.

Sitcoms were holding a smaller mom revolution: Maude Findlay (also a grandma), Florida Evans, Ann Romano (the OG One Day at a Time), and Alice Hyatt had feminist inspired barbs at their bratty kids, nosy neighbors, and men while advertisers came out with the supermom. Hollywood mostly focused on alienated young men like Dustin Hoffman and Jack Nicholson while movies targeting women mostly stayed stagnant. 

One movie that focused on the misery of the mid-century housewife as she dealt with being economically dependent on her husband, mindless housework, how she was expected to put her needs and wants on the back burner, and of how men acted like they were so dumb. Diary of a Mad Housewife focused on Tina Balser, a Smith alumni who is married to a man named Richard, who manages to fuse together the worst traits of Ted Wheeler, Lonnie Byers, Pete Campbell, and Don Draper together. He’s an up-and-coming lawyer who preens and condescends and insists his wife cracks ice instead of serving it cubed and dictated Thanksgiving dinner (he doesn’t cook it though) and only wanted Danson Plum preserves on his toast and starts the film complaining about Tina being too skinny and her ability to do things the way he wants and dissed her ability to make a 4 minute egg to their bratty daughters (all the combined bratty traits of Nancy and Mike Wheeler and none of the intelligence, empathy, and passion that drives these characters). 

The lesser known Barbra Striesand vehicle Up the Sandbox opens up with one mother telling another: “I’ve read all the child psych books. To be a good mother you gotta learn to eat shit” (few shit has changed it seems). Based on an novel by Anne Roiphe, the story focuses on Margaret a mother of two who loves her kids but wants to do more than stay home and is....pregnant again. She has wild fantasies that makes Doug Funnie look less...funny like debating with Fidel Castro about the status of women and having a love affair with him and blowing up the Statue of Liberty with Black militants or presumably confronting her husband’s secretary/co-worker if she’s having an affair with him. After they went to a party where busty young women fell over him because he was so interesting and he made a dismissive comment about a female Ph.D candidate who wanted to have one kid and go back to work, is where Margaret tells him off:

A woman like me works twice as hard, and for what? Stretch marks and varicose veins. You’ve got one job, I’ve got ninety-seven. Maybe I should be on the cover of Time---dust mop of the year, queen of the laundry room....(where she can’t live up to his colleagues or her mother) I’m a zero, a nothing” and when he said she can do more and be happy, she tells him off more “Did more? I sew. I squeegee. I spend hours waiting in line for a sale on baby sandals just to save a few pennies...I’m an errand boy, a cook, a dishwasher, a cockroach catcher, and you say I’d be happy if I did more.” Karen, spin that shit!

Women’s magazines had a new challenge: so you gave advice for decades about how moms can beat diaper rash, crochet covers for your toilet seats, and make a birthday cake in the shape of a character your kid liked but now there are sentiments challenging the conventions of marriage and parenthood, what do you do?

In 1973, Redbook magazine had a poll saying 9/10 respondents knew women earned less than men for the same work, 3/4 thought the media degraded women, a large majority believed women were second-class citizens, and 2/3 supported the Women’s Movement. Also more of them were working or joining the workforce, even with small children and more were divorcing and looking for childcare and to pay the bills and wanted a break. The shithead experts said no the latter. 

Mom’s can’t be overprotective but protective enough.

You can’t be over-attentive in your kid’s lives but make them feel loved and always wonderful.

You need them to be independent, but always taken care of.

Can’t be too strict or permissive.

You need to be light-hearted.

Those were the rules many mothers of Gen Xers and Baby Boomers were under (and still the same now). Dr. Spock was singled out, he was the most influential of these experts with his famous book coming out in 1946 (the first year of the Baby Boom) and his advice dominated the magazines in the 1950s and 1960s. He dished out mom guilt for working outside the home or not weaning babies before they were one year olds and that leaving kids with a “mother substitute” would make them needy (so not even date night?). Also you had to be bonding with your kids properly (all while moms were dealing with doctors up against the natural childbirth movement) and even an hour may not be enough. Also normal women were sad when kids weaned themselves off the breast! Any misstep in your kids will fuck them up!

In Part Two, I will go over Bruno Bettelheim and the backlash against the Women’s Movement and the revolution in Motherhood.

[askemilydeanyo]

Hello, yes. We had a threesome.

Before I start, I’d like to say that for the bulk majority of my life, I have identified as a relatively jealous person. Not jealous in a comparative way, but in a “tell me everything about your past, in detail, and then comfort me when I get upset about it because I will get upset” kind of way. That being said, when my urge to have a threesome crept up, I was honestly taken off guard. Imagining my partner with other people in the past used to make me queasy, but suddenly thinking of them with someone else was making me seriously horny. What the fuck was going on? I’ll paint the scene for you:

I was on the front porch eating strawberries, reading my final pages of Karley Sciortino’s Slutever, when it first came over me. In a lascivious daze, I looked up to my partner, then cutting the grass, and said: “Do you want to have a threesome?” to which they plainly responded, “Yeah, sure.” So like any self-proclaimed horny millennial sex aficionado, I immediately took to Instagram. (Obviously, I realize that not everybody can hop on their social media account and solicit for a sex partner, but I have a majority of family blocked and let’s be real they are all pretty aware of my sluttiness, so it seemed plausible to me.)

My request, posted in typewriter font over a photo of my leather flogger, simply stated: “Seeking a third for play *devil emoji*.” And voilà, just like that, she was baited. I will say, I got about 9 responses in total, but none of the others quite fit the description. We didn’t want anyone we knew too close, anyone we didn’t know at all, or anyone younger than me. I suppose this is my first tip, being that it might take a while for you and your partner to find someone that you are both attracted to, and it is both okay and encouraged to allow yourselves to be choosey (like, sure it only took us about 3 hours, but I’d say we are an anomaly to the rule.) I know a lot of people take to bars, or get on Tinder, or hire a sex worker, and I think those are excellent options for certain kinds of people, but we didn’t want to just pick from a sea of faces, we wanted to have some sort of connection to our third.

So, when she slid into my DM’s, we were stoked. We both knew her, but very, very vaguely. She and I had met a handful of times in social settings, but never engaged in anything beyond surface level conversation. However, like many of these types of interactions in my life, we had, at some point, talked about sex. I speak very candidly about sexuality – and my online presence is certainly no exception. I run weekly sex polls, I post pre-smut photos of me in full rubber lingerie, and I have an advice column where I answer questions about sex and relationship issues. So the chances that I have given someone sex-related advice online, while only having a conversation about their dog in person is surprisingly high.

Since we had some back-and-forth in the past, she approached it by saying: “If it’s not out of line, maybe I can reach out to you two about joining in the fun? I’ve always thought you’d be fun and comfortable to be around.” Finally! My outward slut-ass-ness had paid off! I was sold on her. I took the idea to my partner and they immediately agreed. As I said, the entire process of deciding we wanted to have a threesome and finding our third took, quite literally, 3 hours, but I’d imagine it is comparable to when you go to adopt a puppy, and think “omg! This is the one!” – it just felt right, you know? We knew that she was hot, and she was kind, and wasn’t a sociopath looking to come in and wreck our relationship, so it genuinely seemed safe.

It became a massive topic of conversation. We began vocalizing our fantasies out loud while we had sex (“You want to see me eat a pussy?” and yes LORD I did), we discussed our expectations and boundaries in depth, and on at least a dozen occasions I said “oh my GOD are we actually doing this?” jumping around like an idiot while doing the dishes. The thought was so exciting. We are both sexually adventurous people, both naturally hedonistic, seemingly born with a desire to please, so adding a third into the mix felt more like an extension of us. Just something and someone fun to do. We ended up running into her that weekend and fucked like literal maniacs afterwards. It was amazing.

The timeline of deciding on the rendezvous and actually putting it into action took a whopping 10 days. The closer the event came, the more and more I became the most annoying version of myself. “Oh my god, she’s coming in 3 days. Oh my god, she’s coming tomorrow. OH MY GOD SHE’S COMING IN 4 HOURS.” When the time finally came, I prepped my body as if I was going to senior prom all over again (except honestly significantly more.) I waxed my bikini line, did a facial, did a hair mask, shaved my legs, exfoliated my entire body, rummaged my closet, took 10 minutes on my eyebrows. We swept the house, washed the sheets, shined all the latex, and boiled all the sex toys. The energy was fun and frantic and flirty.

Within the comfort of your monogamous relationship, it’s normal to begin to care less about these things, which is not to be taken as a diss. When you see someone essentially every day of your life, you care a lot less about deep conditioning your hair and more about paying your rent on time. Knowing that someone was going to experience our home, our bodies, and our relationship dynamic for the first time took us back to those butterfly-in-tummy vibes – when you actually made an effort to match your socks and tend to your ingrown hairs. It was so sweet knowing my partner was taking the time to landscape their pubes and make sure they looked good in their outfit. I felt like I was going on our first date all over again, which was a really welcoming and unexpected phenomenon.

I’ll fast forward and spare you the visual of me crouched over cleaning the toilet in leather pants (just kidding, there was the visual): She arrived. My partner and I were sitting in separate rooms when I saw her car pull up. As one might imagine, I literally screamed. The following is a rough description of what happened: She came in, we gave her the house tour, we chatted over a glass of champagne (that I admittedly took no more than three sips of because I had taken two power shots when I saw her car pull up) (that and my partner refuses to fuck drunk people which is one of the hundred things I love about them.) And then… we showed her ‘The Drawer.’

Okay, look. My partner and I are sex freaks. If you know either of us in person, I can guarantee that our sex drawer is exactly what you are visualizing. It is filled with latex and leather, and sensory deprivation accessories, and cock lassos, and butt plugs, and dildos and vibrators and weird medical equipment that even freaks us out at times. This was the moment of truth. When you open your sex drawer to someone, you are essentially showing them your lifespan porn history, your darkest fantasies, your bank statement and your daddy issues all at once. It is vulnerable and spooky and oddly exciting. Anyways, she was into it.

After some chatting in the bedroom, we were all clearly getting antsy, so I decided to take initiative. I asked our third to strip to her comfort level. I asked my partner to blindfold her. I took myself in the bathroom, got into a latex get up, and had a full blown Issa Rae style pep talk with myself in the mirror. When I emerged into the bedroom I found our third blindfolded and stripped to her panties, while my partner was rubbing her legs. My first thought was “Oh my god, am I gay?” I was so turned on. The roles of my partner and myself became immediately clear. Here they were, prioritizing comfort and consent, not wanting to overstep any boundaries (especially while I wasn’t in the room), and I come in wearing full domme gear, leather riding crop in hand, alarmingly ready to turn some asses red. My partner is truly the yin to my yang.

I won’t go into too much detail, partially because I blacked a lot of it out (adrenaline, not vodka, I promise) but also because this is meant to be less smut and more narrative; so let’s just say I was in a deviant bitches version of heaven. As someone who identifies as a 96% heterosexual woman, I was honestly anxious about having a vulva in my face. Believe me when I say I am a huge preacher of “vagina’s are snowflakes,” but admittedly, I’m picky (don’t come for me I am literally just straight.) I was so relieved that when our third was naked before us, I was in absolute awe. My dreamboat of a partner, a beautiful naked person, and a nightstand covered with sex toys; I could’ve died right then and been totally cool with it (except our third did not sign up for Necrophilia 101 and let’s be honest I knew immediately that I wanted to do it again.)

The one thing that put me the most at ease was our ability to prioritize comfort. This has to take form in various ways. Being comfortable enough to assert what you want: harder, deeper, lower, just spread my butt cheeks more, being comfortable enough to fumble (i.e. having to literally remove our third’s fingers from my body after dropping the magic wand on the floor and watching it vibrate its way across the room,) being comfortable enough to show someone a drawer filled with electric stimulation pads and urethral sounds (unused, before anyone freaks out), being comfortable enough to ask someone to swap gloves so you don’t exchange bacteria. It is seriously vital. In porn, we often see someone take their dick out of one vagina and put it in the other, and in reality that just isn’t safe. That being said, when our third hopped out of bed and put on gloves without being instructed, I felt like a proud mom (except like horny step mom that fucks the girl next door), because not only was she prioritizing our safety, but she was also simultaneously not judging us for wearing medical exam gloves while we fucked. Truly a win-win.

In summary, we all came, we cleaned up, and we sat on the bed after and recapped straight slumber party style. A visual: All of us are wearing crop tops and undies, drinking Moscato from the bottle, a murder scene of sex accessories littering the floor beside us. During this time, I was paying close attention to my emotions. I had been a third to a couple once in the past, and the girl told me that immediately after the horny feelings subsided, she cried a lot. I was waiting for this feeling to sweep over me, but instead, my thoughts were more “oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot to fuck her with the strap on.” It was all really, really pleasant.

After she left, my partner and I had sex once again, and for the next few days we brought it up at least once every hour or so. In the middle of an art fair: “Remember when you first walked into the room and grabbed her? That was my favorite part.” in the middle of eating pancakes: “Do you think she came good?” in the last few seconds of a Warriors vs. Clippers game: “My finger literally went into her ass on accident.” It was like a Facebook memory popping up to remind you that you are a sex goddess, rather than an unfortunate seventh grader with side swoop bangs.

In addition to these micro bursts of horny memories zapping me throughout the day, I also found myself feeling tremendously liberated all around. Suddenly, I felt like that bitch. I felt more sure of myself and my relationship than ever before. I felt proud of my ability to casually share my wonderful partner with someone else. I also experienced some unexpected but cutesy and innocent feelings of having a crush, like, omg I wonder if she’s told her friends, I wonder if she liked us, I wonder if she’ll want to come back. I still feel all of that.

Some people might read this thinking: Emily, was this really worth a 4000 word essay? It’s a threesome, chill, people do this all the time; while others might think: Hell no, I would never let my partner fuck someone else! Both to which I respond: I get it. A ton of people take comfort in routine, and monogamy, and would never think of sharing their partner’s bodies with someone else. Other people are more laissez faire, and are totally cool with the thought. I guess I fall somewhere in the in-between. The reason I am writing this is solely to inform others of one thing above all else, and that is: When you allow someone else to be with your partners body, it is solely that: their body. You must be able to compartmentalize your sexuality. The sex you have with your partner right after a fight, or at 7a.m. half hard and half asleep, or after a romantic anniversary dinner can never be replaced by a 10p.m Friday night Ménage à trois, nor is it meant to. You are not lending out your partner’s heart, you are lending out their oral sex game because you yourself find it to be phenomenal and you want someone else to experience it.

Your third doesn’t get to know the exact 45 degree angle at which your partner likes their penis stroked, or the exact string of words that’ll make you cum in seconds, or how you like your scalp rubbed before you fall asleep. They are there for newness, for fun, and for straight up sexual gratification. Their roll is essentially to cum and leave (after sitting cross legged blushing over the fact that you both have outie vulvas, and also, like maybe not leaving forever because you might want them to come back in the future!) not to rock your partner’s world and leave them looking at you like an old pair of beat up sneakers or whatever. If you are worried about your third outshining you, or your partner developing feelings, or your primary and secondary running off and having some kind of love affair, then a threesome just is not for you. Having a fear of infidelity as a result is a pretty clear indicator that something deeper is going on, and why subject yourself to unnecessary anxiety if you don’t have to? (PSA: You don’t have to.)

A threesome will not fix your relationship if it is on the rocks. It will not mend your trust issues. It will (likely) not cure your diminished libido. It will not grant you any otherwise unreciprocated respect in your relationship. You get no brownie points. A threesome is literally a novel concept. It is to witness your partner in action outside of your standard point of view. It is to learn new things that turn you on and turn you off. It is to remind yourself that you can be in a long term, serious, primarily monogamous relationship and still be able to experience the joy of other people’s bodies in a safe and controlled environment. It is to fuck, and to get fucked. To cum, and to make cum. It is to let someone eat you out that doesn’t eat you out every day.

If you came here for my recipe for a successful threesome, here is what I can suggest: (Please keep in mind that I am a literal amateur, but I do feel confident in my knowledge, so here you go:) First, plan accordingly. Plan around your menstrual cycle, around your work schedule, when you can get a baby sitter, etc. Then communicate! The communication is pivotal before, during, and after, but it is especially important beforehand as this can make or break your situation. Discuss your boundaries: What are your hard limits? What would you like to try? What are some things you know you like, know you don’t like? Which toys strike your fancy? What are some names you like to be called? What are your pronouns? What terminology do you prefer us reference your genitals with? Which parts of your body are off limits? When was the last time you were tested? Are you wanting to keep this between us three, or can I write a 4,000 word blog post about it? I could go on and on.

Other important things to discuss are rules and expectations (which fall under the umbrella of communication.) Some of my rules were that I didn’t want them being in contact without me knowing, so no exchanging of phone numbers or socials, and we also unanimously decided that there would be no penis in vagina intercourse. Some other rules to consider might be: Areas of the body that can and cannot be touched (anyone say asshole? Cause I sure didn’t), if the third can stay the night, certain sentimental pet names to avoid, etc. Some expectations that I outlined were basically just that everyone do what I say. Surprisingly, this was less of me being ‘the dick manager’ and more of me being more dominant in nature. Luckily, my partner and my third are (or at least were) more sub leaning, so they happily obliged. Other expectations were that everyone felt comfortable to speak freely, to take breaks, to vocalize their needs, and to stop if they needed to stop. Also I wanted to know a general idea of what I was expected to wear and what kind of energy I was expected to bring to the table.

Another massive thing to consider is safety. Do you have any transmittable diseases or infections? Are you feeling sick? Are you allergic to any materials? Are you willing to sanitize toys, change condoms, use gloves, use barriers, and wipe down the hitachi head when switching partners? If not, seriously don’t even consider. It is selfish, and potentially transmitting infections, getting someone sick, or GOD forbid pregnant is seriously not worth the extra set of hands. Clearly talk about safety, make it accessible (condoms and toy cleaner by the bed) and don’t let yourself get too drunk to forget about it.

Something that proved to be really important to us was someone who would honestly just accept us for the freaks that we are. Lack of judgement is important in any activity where you are putting yourself on display, but especially in a sexual situation. Imagine if you came to someone with your deepest desires and they crinkled their nose in disgust? It is honestly world shattering. So, plan your threesome with someone who you know is open minded. In my case, I am lucky that I am pretty outwardly filthy online, so our third likely had some type of idea, but in the case of anyone else, use your best judgement, and have some conversations around the topic. Be clear about your wants and your needs. You want to be able to proudly ask for someone to shove a dildo in your ass, not be hesitant and afraid. Both your orgasm and your dignity are on the line here.

Another thing I would like to highlight is that although the role of the third (in our case at least) is to essentially serve as a human sex toy, they are exactly that: a human. It is crucial that you are checking in, making sure they feel catered to, and safe, and comfortable. I’d like to think this is too obvious to state, but in the event that it’s not, I will say it: Everyone’s comfort and pleasure should be a priority. Only in some fucked up alternate universe does inviting someone new into the bedroom mean you start prioritizing one person’s body over the other. Everyone is equal and worthy of respect, and just because someone might get off on being called a slut in the bed, doesn’t mean they want to continue to feel like a slut once they leave your house. Be mindful. A good third understands that that their role is temporary and doesn’t need to be reminded through negligence of their basic human emotions.

My last point to touch on is how to bring up the subject to your partner, which will likely vary from relationship to relationship. My partner and I are very laid back. Our approach to sexuality is much less focused around ‘the art of seduction’ and much more on direct pleasure and connection. Like, instead of lighting candles to ‘set a mood’ we are lighting candles to pour the wax on each other… because it feels good… you know? So in my case, it was as simple as asking directly because we are always direct with requests. Other people might need more tenderness. You might consider saying: “While I am totally satisfied with our sex life, I was wondering if you would ever be interested in introducing another person into the mix? I think it would be a fun way for both of us to explore, together, and safely, as we would be in view of one another.” Clearly state your expectations, your desires, and your intentions. And if your partner declines, respect their decision. Nothing should be forced on anyone, and asserting time and time again that you want to fuck someone else will likely leave your partner feeling like they aren’t good enough. Then you don’t get your threesome and your partner feels like shit. Was it really worth asking that fourth time?

Returning to my first question (me questioning my overall sanity) – before, during, and after the fact, I realized what was going on inside of me was that I was finally dating someone that I trusted entirely. The reason that I was able to walk into a room to find my partner sitting in bed with a beautiful naked person and not literally vomit is because they weren’t doing anything to me, they were doing something with me. If you are proposing a threesome to keep your partner’s interest, or to prove something shallow to yourself, spare yourself the energy. I have said it before and I will say it again: Expanding outside of monogamy should always be from an abundance rather than a lack thereof. You should not be thinking “My girlfriend doesn’t let me fuck her in the ass, so maybe our third will.” You should be thinking “My partner does this really amazing thing with their tongue, and it would be really hot to see how someone else reacts to it.” (And maybe if you’re lucky your third will gladly take it up the ass?)

So, wrapping up, perhaps you should consider having a threesome if you: Are secure in your relationship, if you find your partner to be too hot to keep to yourself, if you have an abundance of trust and respect for one another, if you are both willing to respect boundaries and safety measures, if you are wanting to explore other bodies while keeping your partner included, or if you are horny hedonists looking for some good spank material. You should not consider having a threesome if you: Feel pressured to, if you think it will mend an otherwise crumbling relationship, if you are feeling insecure, if you have trust issues, if your partner has expressed romantic interest in the third, if either of you have had a relationship with the third in the past (could get messy), if you are not attracted to the third, or if it is a last ditch effort to impress your partner.

Realistically, there are probably hundreds of reasons why introducing someone into your bedroom is or is not a good idea, so please note that I do realize I am only speaking to a small percentage of people. The reality just is that: like a raw vegan diet is not for everybody, like funneling a beer is not for everybody, like adopting a cat, or backpacking through Europe, or learning how to unicycle is not for everybody, having group sex is not for everybody. It is okay to leave certain kinds of activities to certain kinds of people, no matter how intriguing they might seem from a distance.

By no means am I saying that all group sex configurations must be rooted in love. They can be rooted in lust, in adventure, in curiosity – but one thing that is absolutely CRUCIAL is that they are rooted in trust. I trust that you will switch condoms and sterilize shared toys. I trust that you will respect my body and my boundaries and my concerns. I trust that you won’t turn into a pussy crazed lunatic and start trying to have threesomes weekly. I trust my partner with everything from my social security number to my incest fantasies, which means, most importantly, that I trust that they won’t go off and try to fuck anyone without me. If you have any doubt in your mind that you are doing this for reasons outside of solely hedonistic, pure, and/or loving intentions, consider reconsidering.

Now to share some gratitude: Thank you massively to my partner for allowing me to fulfill my sexual destiny, for supporting all my impulsive endeavors, for prioritizing my orgasms, and for never making me feel small (unless I want to feel small, then thank you for catering to that too.) Thank you so much to you, dream third, for making us both feel safe, for coming into our dynamic with an open mind, for feeling comfortable enough to not only share your body with us but also your stories, and your requests, and your positive energy (and for tolerating my demands and recurring slapping.) And thank you to anyone who has read all of this x so so much love.

[siva3155]

300+ TOP UNITY 3D Interview Questions and Answers

UNITY 3D Interview Questions for freshers experienced :-

1. What is Unity 3D? Unity 3D is a powerful cross-platform and fully integrated development engine which gives out-of-box functionality to create games and other interactive 3D content. 2. What are the characteristics of Unity3D? Characteristics of Unity is It is a multi-platform game engine with features like ( 3D objects, physics, animation, scripting, lighting etc.) Accompanying script editor MonoDevelop (win/mac) It can also use Visual Studio (Windows) 3D terrain editor 3D object animation manager GUI System Many platforms executable exporter Web player/ Android/Native application/Wii In Unity 3D, you can assemble art and assets into scenes and environments like adding special effects, physics and animation, lighting, etc. 3. What is important components of Unity 3D? Some important Unity 3D components include Toolbar: It features several important manipulation tools for the scene and game windows Scene View: It is a fully rendered 3 D preview of the currently open scene is displayed and enables you to add, edit and remove GameObjects Hierarchy: It displays a list of every GameObject within the current scene view Project Window: In complex games, project window searches for specific game assets as needed. It explores the assets directory for all textures, scripts, models and prefabs used within the project Game View: In unity you can view your game and at the same time make changes to your game while you are playing in real time. 4. What is Prefabs in Unity 3D? Prefab in Unity 3D is referred for pre-fabricated object template (Class combining objects and scripts). At design time, a prefab can be dragged from project window into the scene window and added the scene's hierarchy of game objects. If desired the object then can be edited. At the run time, a script can cause a new object instance to be created at a given location or with a given transform set of properties. 5. What is the function of Inspector in Unity 3D? The inspector is a context-sensitive panel, where you can adjust the position, scale and rotation of Game Objects listed in Hierarchy panel. 6. What's the best game of all time and why? The most important thing here is to answer relatively quickly, and back it up. One of the fallouts of this question is age. Answering "Robotron!" to a 20-something interviewer might lead to a feeling of disconnect. But sometimes that can be good. It means you have to really explain why it's the best game of all time. Can you verbally and accurately describe a game to another person who has never played it? You'll rack up some communication points if you can. What you shouldn't say is whatever the latest hot game is, or blatantly pick one that the company made (unless it's true and your enthusiasm is bubbling over). Be honest. Don't be too eccentric and niche, and be ready to defend your decision. 7. Do you have any questions regarding us? Yes. Yes, you do have questions. Some of your questions will have been answered in the normal give-and-take of conversation, but you should always be asked if you have others (and if not, something's wrong). Having questions means you're interested. Some questions are best directed to HR, while others should be asked of managers and future co-workers. Ask questions that show an interest in the position and the long-term plans of the company. For some ideas, see "Questions You Should Ask in an Interview," below. 8. What are the characteristics of Unity3D Characteristics of Unity is It is a multi-platform game engine with features like ( 3D objects, physics, animation, scripting, lighting etc.) Accompanying script editor MonoDevelop (win/mac) It can also use Visual Studio (Windows) 3D terrain editor 3D object animation manager GUI System Many platforms executable exporter Web player/ Android/Native application/Wii In Unity 3D, you can assemble art and assets into scenes and environments like adding special effects, physics and animation, lighting, etc. 9. List out some best practices for Unity 3D Cache component references: Always cache reference to components you need to use your scripts Memory Allocation: Instead of instantiating the new object on the fly, always consider creating and using object pools. It will help to less memory fragmentation and make the garbage collector work less Layers and collision matrix: For each new layer, a new column and row are added on the collision matrix. This matrix is responsible for defining interactions between layers Raycasts: It enables to fire a ray on a certain direction with a certain length and let you know if it hit something Physics 2D 3D: Choose physics engine that suits your game Rigidbody: It is an essential component when adding physical interactions between objects  Fixed Timestep: Fixed timestep value directly impacts the fixedupdate() and physics update rate. 10. What do you do on your own time to extend your skills? As a programmer, do you work on home projects? As a designer, do you doodle design ideas or make puzzles? As an artist, do you do portrait work? Having hired many people in the past, one of the things I can speak to with authority is that those people who spend their off time working on discipline-related projects are the ones who are always up on current trends, have new ideas, are most willing to try something new, and will be the ones taking stuff home to tinker with on their own time. Now that shouldn't be expected of everyone, but the sad reality is that there is competition for jobs out there, and those who are prepared to put in the extra work are the ones that are going to be in hot demand. Demonstrating that you learned C# over a weekend because you thought it was cool for prototyping is exactly the kind of thing a programming manager wants to hear. Suddenly your toolset expanded, and not only did it show willingness to do something without being told, it makes you more valuable. The only care to here is to not mention an outside situation that might detract from or compete with your day job.

UNITY 3D Interview Questions 11. How do you feel about crunching? At smaller studios, this is the 64 million dollar question. My advice is to be 100 percent honest. If you won't crunch, say so now. It may well put you out of the running for a job, but ultimately that's a good thing. No, really, it is! If the company works a lot of overtime and you don't want to do it, then taking the job is going to be punishing for everyone. Having said that, the last thing any interviewer wants to hear is, "I won't do it" because that predicates a perceived lack of involvement and passion (not that passion should equal overtime, but the perception of refusing to do something before you're even in the circumstances could be the difference between getting a job offer and having the company pass you up). Phrase your answer in such a way that you don't sound confrontational with the interviewer. She doesn't want to get into an argument; she just wants to know where you stand. Understand that this question is meant to gauge, roughly, how you might fit into the company culture. 12. How would you make the games you're playing better? You'd be surprised how often this question comes up, even if you aren't interviewing for a design position. Everyone wants a developer who has design sensibilities because it inevitably means she or he will be more involved and engaged in whatever is going on. Knowing ahead of time how you might answer this question means you'll come off sounding like you've actually thought about a game in development terms. Game studios are looking for people who think as they play -- about what they're playing, how it's done, what could have been improved, and most importantly, what they can rip off. One downside to adopting this mentality is that it becomes harder to enjoy a game for what it is, but that's an occupational hazard in all jobs. Believe it or not, you can answer this question in an entirely positive way. However, if you decide instead to criticize a design or implementation decision in a game, be sure you have a solution to the problem too. It's not enough to moan about the final strider battle in Half-Life 2: Episode 2; you have to have an idea of how it could have been made more enjoyable, perhaps through easier car control, or not destroying all the supply stations so quickly. If you decide to bash a game that the company where you're interviewing developed (and that takes courage; some companies will applaud you while others will diss you for not drinking the Kool-Aid), then ensure that what you're criticizing isn't something subjective but something that everyone has had a pop at. Be ready to back up the criticism with proof that it's an agreed-upon flaw, not just you being nit-picky. 13. Explain what a vertex shader is, and what a pixel shader is? Vertex shader is a script that runs for each vertex of the mesh, allowing the developer to apply transformation matrixes, and other operations, in order to control where this vertex is in the 3D space, and how it will be projected on the screen. Pixel shader is a script that runs for each fragment (pixel candidate to be rendered) after three vertexes are processed in a mesh's triangle. The developer can use information like the UV / TextureCoords and sample textures in order to control the final color that will be rendered on screen. 14. Where do you want to be in five years? Personally, I love this question because it reveals if a prospective candidate has a plan at all or is just drifting from job to job as so many are wont to do. There's nothing wrong per se with people who drift along the currents, it's just that those with a plan (or at least a desire to move in a particular direction) are generally much more interesting people. Plus, they are almost always inherently more predictable, which is always a benefit for employers. Having a desire to move forward helps everyone. It helps you measure your progress, and it gives the company a plan to help you get there. Of course, it does depend on you knowing what you want. Most people tend to know what they don't want, but not necessarily what they do want, which is a problem -- particularly if you express that in an interview. Interviewers would rather have a list of things you want to attain rather than things you don't. One optimal answer is, "Still working for you making games," but it smacks of sucking up, so I'd recommend saying something a little more generic: "Still looking for a challenge and putting in that extra effort to make great games." The best response I've ever heard to that question was, "I want your job!" and the individual who said it to me indeed has my old job! But be wary of sounding confrontational. 15. Why vectors should be normalized when used to move an object? Normalization makes the vector unit length. It means, for instance, that if you want to move with speed 20.0, multiplying speed * vector will result in a precise 20.0 units per step. If the vector had a random length, the step would be different than 20.0 units. 16. Why do you want to work here as Unity3D Developer? (This question implicitly includes, "Why do you want to leave where you are?" if you're currently employed.) This question is an open opportunity to show you've done some research on the company where you're interviewing. All companies and interviewers are flattered when the interviewee knows who they are, knows what games they make, and wants to be a part of their experience. Do your homework and put on a good show! Don't say things like, "I need a job," or "I need to move to Sacramento." Instead, pick a few things that are germane to the company in question. The more specific your reasons are tied to the company, the better. "I want to work on FPS shooters" isn't as good an answer as "I want to work on Game Franchise X because I played the first two games and still see potential for future growth of the product." It's sycophantic, yes, but interviewers are as prone to flattery as anyone else -- although don't give that as your only reason. When explaining why you want to leave your current job, the trick is to not be negative. Pick a couple of points that are inarguable, for example, "There was no career development" or "They weren't working on the kinds of games I'm interested in," rather than "Their management is clueless and they are going to die soon." The game industry is a small community -- you could very well be talking smack about your interviewer's close buddy. If you were let go or fired, it's better to say something like, "We decided to part ways," or "It was my time to leave," rather than go into too much detail, unless directly pressed. In that case, the interviewer probably already knows what went down and is just looking to see what you'll say. Answer the question quickly and without negativity, and move on. You want to leave a positive impression. 17. Why deferred lighting optimizes scenes with a lot of lights and elements? During rendering, each pixel is calculated whether it should be illuminated and receive lightning influence, and this is repeated for each light. After approximately eight repeated calculations for different lights in the scene, the overhead becomes significant. For large scenes, the number of pixels rendered is usually bigger than the number of pixels in the screen itself. Deferred Lighting makes the scene render all pixels without illumination (which is fast), and with extra information (at a cost of low overhead), it calculates the illumination step only for the pixels of the screen buffer (which is less than all pixels processed for each element). This technique allow much more light instances in the project. 18. Can two GameObjects, each with only an SphereCollider, both set as trigger and raise OnTrigger events? Explain your answer? No. Collision events between two objects can only be raised when one of them has a RigidBody attached to it. This is a common error when implementing applications that use "physics." 19. What is an Unity3D file and how can you open a unity3d file? A Unity3D files are scene web player files created by Unity; an application used to develop 3D games. These files consist of all assets and other game data in a single archive, and are used to enable gameplay within a browser that has the Unity Web Player Plugin. The assets within a 3D unity file are saved in a proprietary closed format. 20. What's your biggest weakness? Or, if I hired you, what would I regret about it in six months? This is a common question in all job interviews. There are generally two kinds of responses: the brutally honest and damning one ("I get upset with people who don't carry their load"), and the sycophantic one ("I'm a perfectionist"). What most employers are looking for is an honest answer that is followed up with an example of something you have done to work on your weakness. For example, you can say, "My workspace tends to become extremely disorganized," as long as you follow it up with, "but recently, I've put in a lot of effort to go paperless, and I'm extremely systematic in the way I manage my email inbox." The other secret to this question is not so much in the answer but how long you take to respond. If you answer too quickly, you might be suggesting that you already know all your worst points because they are blatantly obvious and you've been told so many times. If you take too long, it will seem as if you're searching for an answer that sounds good, doesn't make you look bad, and is something the interviewer would be happy to hear. Again, it gives the perception that you are being ingratiating rather than honest. By the way, the best answer I've heard is, "I don't know. What do you think I'd regret in six months if I worked here?" 21. What is Fixed Timestep in Unity3D? Why does Fixed Timestep setting affect game speed? Fixed Timestep feature helps to set the system updates at fixed time interval. A queue like mechanism will manage all real-time events that are accumulated between time epochs. If frame-rate drops below some threshold limit set for fixed timestep, then it can affect the game speed. 22. Explain, in a few words, what roles the inspector, project and hierarchy panels in the Unity editor have. Which is responsible for referencing the content that will be included in the build process? The inspector panel allows users to modify numeric values (such as position, rotation and scale), drag and drop references of scene objects (like Prefabs, Materials and Game Objects), and others. Also it can show a custom-made UI, created by the user, by using Editor scripts. The project panel contains files from the file system of the assets folder in the project's root folder. It shows all the available scripts, textures, materials and shaders available for use in the project. The hierarchy panel shows the current scene structure, with its GameObjects and its children. It also helps users organize them by name and order relative to the GameObject's siblings. Order dependent features, such as UI, make use of this categorization. The panel responsible for referencing content in the build process is the hierarchy panel. The panel contains references to the objects that exist, or will exist, when the application is executed. When building the project, Unity searches for them in the project panel, and adds them to the bundle. 23. Why Time.deltaTime should be used to make things that depend on time operate correctly? Real time applications, such as games, have a variable FPS. They sometimes run at 60FPS, or when suffering slowdowns, they will run on 40FPS or less. If you want to change a value from A to B in 1.0 seconds you can't simply increase A by B-A between two frames because frames can run fast or slow, so one frame can have different durations. The way to correct this is to measure the time taken from frame X to X+1 and increment A, leveraging this change with the frame duration deltaTime by doing A += (B-A) * DeltaTime. When the accumulated DeltaTime reaches 1.0 second, A will have assumed B value. 24. Which of the following examples will run faster? 1000 GameObjects, each with a MonoBehaviour implementing the Update callback. One GameObject with one MonoBehaviour with an Array of 1000 classes, each implementing a custom Update() callback? The correct answer is 2. The Update callback is called using a C# Reflection, which is significantly slower than calling a function directly. In our example, 1000 GameObjects each with a MonoBehaviour means 1000 Reflection calls per frame. Creating one MonoBehaviour with one Update, and using this single callback to Update a given number of elements, is a lot faster, due to the direct access to the method. 25. Arrange the event functions listed below in the order in which they will be invoked when an application is closed: Update() OnGUI() Awake() OnDisable() Start() LateUpdate() OnEnable() OnApplicationQuit() OnDestroy() The correct execution order of these event functions when an application closes is as follows: Awake() OnEnable() Start() Update() LateUpdate() OnGUI() OnApplicationQuit() OnDisable() OnDestroy() Note: You might be tempted to disagree with the placement of OnApplicationQuit() in the above list, but it is correct which can be verified by logging the order in which call occurs when your application closes. 26. Okay, we're going to work through a problem here? Often in game job interviews, you will be presented with a problem to solve, or even a full-blown test, depending on the position. It might be grease board work, it might be a conversation, it might be a level design test, it might even be a code test at a PC. The premise is that the interviewer wants to see how you work. Often, once you've answered the question, the interviewer will change the parameters to see what you'll do. But what do you do if you have no clue what's being asked, or if it's outside your area of expertise---> That's a panic moment if there ever was one. Take a deep breath and realize that this is a moment where you need to say, "I'm not sure I understand the question," or "That's not something I've done before." But immediately after that, start asking questions about the problem and take a stab at solving it. That's one of the biggest things you can do at this point -- admit ignorance then have a go anyway. Showing a willingness to try something outside your field of knowledge is huge to interviewers. It shows you want to learn and be more than what you are now. Sometimes, the fact that you tried is more important than the actual result, and sometimes, you'll have an interviewer who will give you hints toward a solution just because you showed that willingness to try. The more junior you are the more likely this is to happen. Occasionally, interviewers will deliberately put you out of your comfort zone just to see how you'll react, so be aware! 27. Consider the following code snippet below: class Mover : MonoBehaviour { Vector3 target; float speed; void Update() { } } Finish this code so the GameObject containing this script moves with constant speed towards target, and stop moving once it reaches 1.0, or less, units of distance? ANS:- class Mover : MonoBehaviour { Vector3 target; float speed; void Update() { float distance = Vector3.Distance(target,transform.position); // will only move while the distance is bigger than 1.0 units if(distance > 1.0f) { Vector3 dir = target - transform.position; dir.Normalize(); // normalization is obligatory transform.position += dir * speed * Time.deltaTime; // using deltaTime and speed is obligatory } } } 28. Can threads be used to modify a Texture on runtime? Can threads be used to move a GameObject on the scene? Consider the snippet below: class RandomGenerator : MonoBehaviour { public float randomList; void Start() { randomList = new float; } void Generate() { System.Random rnd = new System.Random(); for(int i=0;i What's your favorite book? Movie? TV show? ---> Do you prefer open worlds or well-defined quest lines? Do you think a game should/can have both? ---> What's your favorite character class? ---> How would you briefly describe the mechanics of your favorite game to a non-programmer? ---> Do you usually play games to the end? ---> What's your Beta test experience? (No, you're not looking for a QA person BUT it doesn't hurt to hire a programmer who thinks like a QA person at least a little, as in being able to vet their own work before they hand off a fix as "done.") ---> What's your favorite game of ours and why? (If you've only published one game, they better have played it! And listen for their own words-if they sound like they're parroting what they read about your game, it's entirely possible they haven't actually played it.) ---> If you could work in any other area of our industry, what would it be and why? What makes a game fun for you? 31. List out the pros and cons of Unity 3D? Pros: It uses JavaScript and C# language for scripting Unity provides an Asset store where you can buy or find stuff, that you want to use in your games You can customize your own shaders and change the way how Unity renders the game It is great platform for making games for mobile devices like iOS, Android and Web (HTML5) Cons: Compared to Unreal Engine it has got low graphics quality Interface not user-friendly and it is hard to learn especially for beginners It requires good programming knowledge as such most of the stuff runs on Scripts 32. What will you bring to the team? Why do we need you? This is a general question that applies to all interviews. There are two ways to answer: the big answer and the little answer. The big answer requires you to have some knowledge of how the company operates. Who does what---> Your goal is to slot your experience, passion and skills (and if you are a student, your passion, skills, and desired career direction) into any holes the company may have -- and it should have some. Otherwise, why are they hiring---> The little answer is to name some of your previous experiences and best qualities and hope that's enough. Care needs to be taken that a) you don't sound arrogant in assuming the company will die without you and b) you don't say negative things about the company. Statements like, "Well, you obviously can't do good Q/A. You need a good Q/A manager," are likely to go down like a lead balloon. Frame your answer to suggest that you would bring extra expertise, and therefore improvement, to something that's already in place. 33. What game would you make if money were no object Everyone has a pet project they would want to make if they had the chance -- it's just inherent in the game developer psyche. This is your chance to expound on it, and the more realized your idea is, the more it will be seen as proof that you know what you're doing. Taking an existing idea and adding, "but I'd make it cooler!" isn't the answer (the number of times I've heard Q/A staff wanting to become developers tell me they want to remake Counter Strike "but better" is staggering); it just shows you have enthusiasm, but no original ideas. Bonus points if you can take an existing IP license and make a compelling argument for a game out of it. People who can actually do that are at a premium in our industry since most tie-ins, well, suck. 34. What games are you playing? If you plan to work for a video game company, you'd better be playing games -- and you'd better be able to demonstrate that. It's good form to mention some games that are in the same genre as the games made at that company. It's even better if you mention playing some of the games that were actually made there. Again though, don't go over the top. At the very least, play the demo of anything they've produced. You need to be knowledgeable about the genre, what you enjoy about it, and how the development of these games is affected by the genre (as much as you can be). So research the company before the interview. How you answer this question can be a deal breaker or a deal maker for hiring managers. They want to hire people who are demonstrably passionate about the games their company makes. Saying, "I have a level 70 mage in World of Warcraft and a level 40 druid in EverQuest," to Blizzard makes the point that you are immersed in its product genre. Demonstrating some knowledge about older games also shows you're grounded in game history, which is never a bad thing. The wider your knowledge base, the more you can forestall going down blind alleys in terms of implementation and design, which benefits everyone, and that's exactly what a company is looking for in its employees. 35. List out some key features of Unity3D UE4 ( Unreal Engine 4)? UE4: Game logic is written in C++ or blueprint editor Base scene object- Actor Input Events- Component UInputComponent of Actor class Main classes and function of UE4 includes int32,int24, Fstring, Ftransform, FQuat, FRotator, Actor and TArray To create a new instance of a specified class and to point towards the newly created Actor. UWorld::SpawnActor() may be used UI of Unreal Engine 4 is more flexible and less prone to crashes It does not support systems like X-box 360 or PS3, it requires AMD Radeon HD card to function properly Less expensive compare to Unity3D To use UE4 you don't need programming language knowledge Unity3D: Game logic is written using the Mono environment Base scene object- GameObject Input events- Class Input Main classes and function include int,string,quaternion,transform, rotation, gameobject, Array To make a copy of an object you can use the function Instantiate() The asset store of this tool is much better stacked than UE4 It supports wide range of gaming consoles like X-box and PS4, as well as their predecessors Unity3D has free version which lacks few functionality while pro version is bit expensive in compare to UE4 It requires programming language knowledge 36. What is the use of AssetBundle in Unity3D? AssetBundles are files that can be exported from Unity to contain asset of your choice. AssetBundles are created to simply downloading content to your application. 37. In Unity 3D how can you hide gameobject? To hide gameobject in Unity 3D, you have to use the code gameObject.transform.SetActive(false); 38. Questions You Should Ask In Unity3D Interview: What are the core working hours? How do you assign or schedule tasks? Who gets to decide who does what and estimates time? What's the career path for this job? How do I get to progress? What is the process for promotion? What training approach do you use? How would I learn new skills? How are personnel reviews handled? Who does them and how often? Are there any specific development processes used here, for example, Scrum? Who would I report to? If I'm hired, what is the next game I might work on---> How much input would I have on that? Is there a relocation package? What bonus structure or incentives are there? UNITY 3D Questions and Answers Pdf Download Read the full article

[canibecandid]

The newspaper columnist one - Sherlolly

newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au

“…truthfully, you’re better off killing him. All other provided advice up to this point has been unreliable.” Molly slammed the paper down and took a deep breath through her nose. “Oh no, counseling is unreliable, but killing him is a perfectly acceptable answer.”

Greg made a noise of noncommitment as he went through the assigned articles. “I’m sorry Mols, but the readers like him. It’s a nice change of pace, Anderson would just agree with whatever you put.”

“Because my advice is reasonable.” Molly insisted. “At least tell me who he is, Greg.”

“No, you know the rules about writing the advice column, Molly. You can’t know who your partner is while they’re writing the column.” Greg sighed, setting aside his paper work. “Now get out before I give you obits for the next four months.”

She wasn’t above sulking out of the office and huffing as she flopped back into her chair. Obituaries wasn’t really as much as a punishment for her, but it wasn’t enjoyable work. The advice column was a nice change of pace from her normal restaurant reviews. 

“Trouble in paradise, Hooper?” W.S. Holmes asked without looking up from his keyboard. “You’ve stress ate three chocolate bars since this morning.” He spares a glance to the bin. “They aren’t even your favorite brand.” 

“Thank you, Wilbur, for your astounding observation.” Molly bit out, logging into her monitor.

“Mmm, no. Still not my name.”

“At least tell me what the S is for?”

“Sherlock.”

Without sparing a glance, she opened up her notes on the Italian restaurant he’d recommended to her. “Gesundheit.”

The corner of his mouth turned upward as he continued the steady stream of type. Both of their inboxes chimed merrily, they paused and looked at their emails...

Dear William and Margaret,

If you like my work, buy me a coffee! 

or

send me a prompt! (here’s my au tag)

[bunnikook]

✧・ﾟyoonkook fic recs・ﾟ✧

Hello! This is part 1 of my yoonkook fic recs (cause trust me I have much much more) Anyway, just a heads up, you may see some of these *** things; those indicate my personal favorites. Also if you have any questions or just want to spazz about sugakookie my inbox is always open! I use twitter a LOT more than I do tumblr so here: ciara’s twitter So now that that’s taken care of let’s get started!

I know I'll fall in love with you, baby***

The soulmate/soulbond au where Yoongi is part of a famous rap duo and Jungkook is his diligent fanboy, they meet at a fansign and things escalate from there

(alt. Yoongi didn’t sign up for this)

(my notes: FREAKING MASTERPIECE)

 Fool me Once

Yoongi is thirty years old and alone. He's got a watered-down version of his dream job (working for a small-town paper writing fluff pieces and ghostwriting the advice column), an older sister who won't stop trying to set him up with every girl she knows, and today is his parents' fortieth anniversary.

Maybe if he was happier he wouldn't have pretended to be someone else's blind date in the middle of the train station.

The Garden Of Eden***

the truth of it all is that yoongi is inexplicably lonely.

olympus**

“you say that now,” namjoon, a son of athena, states. “but in the future, you never know what might change.”

“trust me, if i am felled, it won’t be because of love,” yoongi tells him stiffly.

first impressions***

"you’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you" AU

 Those candles aren’t the only ones getting fired up

Written from these two prompts:

“i own a candle store and some cute weirdo comes in every day to smell the candles but they have never actually bought any and they literally run away when i ask if they need help” au

“i love smelling candles in this candle store but this cute employee keeps walking up to me and asking me if i need help and i always get super embarrassed and run away” au

 soft melodies and even softer touches*

22:39;

I see the way you look at me, hyung.

Yoongi's world stands still, and in that moment, he wants nothing more than to wring Jimin's neck. It's Jeongguk, it has to be Jeongguk, who else would it be? Yoongi knows many dancers--unfortunately Jimin's one of them--but there's only one that he's on close terms with, and whose number he doesn't have.

Jeongguk. It's Jeongguk. It's fucking Jeongguk.

(OR: Jeongguk's a contemporary dancer, and Yoongi is his academy's pianist).

 Beauty and The Beast ***

Jungkook didn't completely understand what was going on, and he wasn't sure if he believed in the whole true love thing, but he did know one thing. Yoongi was the single most lonely broken thing he had ever seen in his entire life and something deep inside of his bones screamed at him to fix it. So, He was going to fix it. Or perhaps die trying.

 (my notes: i’m gonna go die this is so magical)

trust yourself to me

jungkook isn't one for clubs and yoongi hates his job.

 Can we pretend a little longer?***

 Written from a request prompt:

"we’re only engaged to get our parents off our backs and you’re in love with somebody else so feel free to hook up with them idc i’m not jealous (yes i am)" x SugaKookie

 baby (don’t be so elusive)***

 no one said finding yoongi was going to be easy. (soulmate au)

 your love is such a sugar rush (and i can never get enough)

 A List of Things Jeon Jungkook Expects Min Yoongi to Do to Him After Jungkook Accidentally Calls Him Short:

1.) Take back the green apple sour tapes he gave to Jungkook.

2.) Punch him square in the jaw.

3.) Spit a diss rap he made on the spot at Jungkook's face.

4.) Glare at him until he withers and dies, leaving his life horribly unaccomplished. (Out of the four options, this is the one Jungkook preferred the most.)

 the feeling of you*

 within one moment and the next, jungkook takes his finger in his mouth, slowly, lips hollowed around yoongi’s thumb.

 Loving You (It’s All I Know)***

 Jeongguk is a sunflower and Yoongi is his sun. It takes a long time for him to understand what that means.

Alternatively, Yoongi saves Jeongguk from a playground bully and the rest is history.

Color Swept me off my Feet *

In which Namjoon is an asshole friend who disses Yoongi’s style and Yoongi reluctantly drags himself to get a haircut. Also in which Jeongguk is the hairdresser on whom Yoongi develops a mortifying teenage crush and it all goes to hell from there, with a lot of help from well-meaning friends. (Or: Yoongi changes his hair color a gazillion times.)

 Color Psychology

 Hoseok tries to improve Yoongi's non-existent love life by setting him up on a blind date with his co-worker. Yoongi's flashy dye-job wasn't part of the equation, though.

 One Song Glory**

 When Yoongi gets a drunken call from Jimin's friend Jeongguk in the middle of the night, he's ready to blow him off and go back to sleep. He never expected to end up doling out life advice and driving the kid home across half of Seoul.

 the rest is fiction***

 his mom says that his partner may have the same dilemma as him, not knowing what to write in the notebook they share. yoongi wonders if his soulmate is even alive at this point.

 Behind Every Corner Is A Stolen Kiss***

 Jeon Jungkook is a 5th year Gryffindor with a secret but secrets grow heavy on the heart and stolen kisses are, oh, so sweet and so is a certain Slytherin.

 (my notes: I love harry potter aus omg)

 donut know what I’d do without you**

When Jeongguk follows the familiar route to the shop, he realizes that, despite feeling absolutely mortified with every interaction, Jeongguk almost wants to see if Blondie is there. The coffee and donuts are good, sure, but a part of him wants to find out what Blondie plans on saying next despite Jeongguk always being the butt of the joke.

He starts to wonder if he has masochistic tendencies.

(or AU where Yoongi works at a Krispy Kreme and Jeongguk is a regular. Jeongguk may or may not be smitten).

Teacup Pup*

Yoongi didn't expect to be starting a family with his boyfriend so soon.

ride out to the storm with you***

 babysitting a field operative who probably has the shittiest measure of danger is definitely not a part of yoongi's job description. but that's what he still ends up doing half the time, anyway.

 baby, it’s cold outside***

 yoongi was pretty sure that this was the moment he knew he was in love. (part 1 of christmas special)

 (my notes: XIAJIN I LOVE YOU)

 your eyes are like starlight now*

 jungkook falls in love with baking after he falls in love with singing.

(part 2 of christmas special)

 그 손을 내밀어줘, Save Me***

 That’s when Min Yoongi, self-declared ‘simple man’, turned the corner onto his street, mid-yawn, his breath escaping with a small squeak he’d never admit he made, when he collided into another body, and his ‘simple man’ life was thrown into chaos.

In which Jungkook is angry, nearly a high school drop out, and alone, and Yoongi is an adult who is struggling, and somehow, they find someone to save them in each other.

(part 1 of you shine so bright)

The Best of Me, 나 너밖에 없지***

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since the performance, two weeks since he and Jungkook had that silly little Romeo and Juliet talk. Silly and dumb, maybe, but the thought still made Yoongi smile, even in his groggy, half-asleep state. Nothing had really changed, per say, nothing except for the kissing. God, the kissing… Jungkook kissed, for all his inexperience, like he was trying to make up for lost time.

 Jungkook was still a little shit, Yoongi still indulged him. Days were long, nights were longer, and Yoongi loved Jungkook with more ardor than he’d ever thought possible. It was a pity he didn't seem to be what Jungkook needed.

you’re under arrest (for stealing my heart)*

It should be illegal for Jungkook to be so good looking.

Stupid Cupid

Min Yoongi literally gets clotheslined by love and he is so, so pissed about it.

OR: That time Jeongguk made Yoongi cough up flowers.

Sneeze once; I hate you. Sneeze twice; We’re Doomed.*

Jeon Jeongguk used to imagine himself being brave and confident in front of his soulmate. It wasn't until he realised that his soulmate is a gorgeous (and serious-looking) man dressed in all-black that he started to doubt the whole soulmate thing altogether.

-

Soulmate AU in which you sneeze at the same time as your soulmate. No exceptions. You have a flu? Your soulmate sneezes it all out with you. Your nose itches? Your soulmate finds out through experience.

do it like me***

min yoongi the cop… gets feelings for local housekeeper aka neighbor who's cute af

(or: a darker heart to heart au/spin off.)

(not finished but oohhhhh my god xiajin kill me)

coffee and a date **

when jungkook hears his boss, seokjin, say: “we’re going to have a new promotion!” his body locks the fuck up. like, legitimately - he stiffens, eyes widening in horror.

sun child***

so jungkook lives like this. curiosity may take him from time to time, but it always disappears with something new to do. he doesn’t mind his existence in the tower, nor does he question why he’s always left inside there, nor does he wish to leave.

there’s maybe, only like, one time he wants to leave. jungkook never asks, because he knows his mother will say no; yet still he keeps it in mind, records the dates for that day to come, and paints where his mother won’t see.

other than that, jungkook is fine. he is.

(tangled au i’m literally dying i love tangled so much and this is beautiful i’ve reread it like 5 times thank you so much xiajin (as you can tell xiajin’s writing is amazing read all of her fics you won’t regret it))

siren song***

the thing about jungkook is that he’s a bit of a spacey witch.

forget yesterday***

there is a scar on his cheek. he covers it up with makeup. one day he’ll be able to look at himself without wanting to erase himself completely.

(my notes: I love this one a lot pls read it)

twenty first century boy*

he thinks it’s a problem. it should be a problem. yoongi wonders what he’s doing and - and he doesn’t know how to make himself stop. doesn’t know if he even wants to.

How to Omega

"Can't we just change it?" Jimin asked. They were huddled around their manager's laptop looking at Jungkook's public profile. Underneath his birth date was his wolf status, Alpha, in glowing red.

"Then the company will end up looking like a liar," their manager moaned piteously.

(Or, the one where Jungkook wasn't as alpha as everyone expected him to be.)

color in your cheeks (the feeling flows both ways)**

yoongi and jungkook get put together in a hotel room for the next tour.

just the two of them

find some new friends

“kid, you threw up on my shoes. i think we’re past the formalities. you can just call me hyung.”

“...i’m pretty sure i’m older.”

“...your armband is for teens under eighteen. i’m over eighteen. i’m the hyung.”

“...you’re really over eighteen?”

“born in ninety-three, punk. let me guess. ninety-nine?”

“ninety-seven!”

All My Loving

The said customer practically stomps his way to them and slams 23,000 won on the counter. He huffs and rips his mask off his face and says in the lowest and most serious voice Jungkook had ever heard in his life;

“I’m looking for a flower that passive-aggressively says ‘shut the fuck up’.”

Red

Min Yoongi just really hates the color red.

[tehstripe]

2. Dear _______, - Dave/Rose Newspaper Columnist AU

I finally finished the second fic for my challenge! The prompt was “newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au,” found in this AU list. Also this thing is a small monster that I will probably cross-post to AO3 after... a bit of editing and coding.

(Also keep an eye out I have a second fic to post tonight.)

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Recently, my boyfriend has been acting strangely. He keeps asking about my schedule and when I'll be home. At first I assumed he was just asking so that he could work on planning dates, but whenever I ask him about his schedule, he gets very cagey and won't tell me exactly what he's doing. If I ever demand what he is doing, he tells me he is hanging out with "friends."

Is he cheating on me, or am I just reading into things? I want to confront him, but I don't want to ruin the relationship over something silly...

Sincerely, Am I Just Paranoid?

Dear Mx. Paranoid?

There are one of three options here.

The first is, naturally, the most boring. He is cheating on you. His so-called "friends" are in fact a short-hand for his elicit lover.

For your sake, I hope this is not the case, though I am sure it would be gratifying to know that your suspicions were at least somewhat justified. I would recommend actually talking to some of his friends in order to confirm the story that he is telling you. Is he truly hanging out with them, or is he just using them as a convenient excuse to ditch you?

A few caveats. First, even if his friends back up his story, they may be lying. You can test this by asking a few of them what they were up to and seeing if their stories match. If possible, I would recommend talking to some of their significant others, who will more likely be sympathetic to your cause.

If you do not know enough of his friends in order to ask them what they were up to on June 6th at 11:00 PM, consider that you may not be deep enough into this relationship to be too concerned about ruining it. Cut your losses and run. Even if he is not cheating on you, I cannot think of much good that will come from having a boyfriend who, early in the relationship, demands to know where you will be without properly reciprocating.

Naturally, if you do discover that your man is cheating on him, there is only one possible solution. You must sacrifice his body to Zathog the Great Old One. If he is pleased with your sacrifice, then he may grant you the ability to travel through both time and space, which is undeniably a much better thing to be in possession of than a cheating boyfriend.

Ah! But we must not overlook the other possibilities. You may also be in a situation pulled straight from a "Romantic Comedy," as the lay people refer to them, where you are led to believe your beau is cheating on you, when in truth, he is attempting to set up a beautiful surprise for you that only shows how much he loves you. Perhaps there is even a big diamond ring in your future?

Ah, but Miss Therapist, you may proclaim. However will I know whether or not I have found myself within the confines of a "Romantic Comedy"? The answer is simple. Look around you, at the people you surround yourself with. Do you have a gay best friend who gladly accepts the lofty title of "sassy"? Do you have a well-meaning girl friend (who you, mistakenly, call a "girlfriend" despite the fact that the two of you are straight) who is hapless, cute (but not as cute as you), and pursuing her own relationship off to the periphery of your existence? Are there any older women in your life who give you expressions that imply they have seen it all?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then congratulations! You are most likely a fictional character within a film that will be affectionately dubbed a "Chick Flick." On the bright side, you are undoubtedly being played by an attractive celebrity, so that is one important consolation prize to the unfortunate fact that you are not actually real.

You can also check this with his friends, of course.

The final, and frankly, most likely option is that he is planning his own ritualistic sacrifice to Zathog. He is most likely planning to sacrifice you. Get the jump on him. Forgo love and earthly attachments and become the space-and-time travelling god you were always destined to be.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I'm trying to think of what I should get my girlfriend for our two-year anniversary. She's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I want to make it special for her. Any ideas?

-- Two Years of Devotion

dear 2y devotion

okay my dude my buddy my pal

listen to this thing that you are asking me. really listen to it. take the page you are reading right now and hold it up to your ear all gentle like and let it whisper into your ear.

"i want to do something special" cool thats great thats a general thing that everybody who is not a douche wants to do for their significant other but think about this for a sec.

you went to an advice column for this shit. and dont get me wrong my advice column is unequivocally the best advice column cause unlike some columnists im not gonna suggest you throw your girlfriend to sh'blugh the tentacle horror from beyond the veil but

you gave me nothing to go on man

how do i make that special

like give me some details to go off of

you love this girl right tell me something about her

or i guess since its too late to tell me about her because this is a delayed conversation that gets publicly written and published in a magazine think about the kind of shit that she likes

like you probably already know the kind of shit that she likes if youre really as into her as you say

does your girl like flowers? get her some flowers does your girl like horses? get her a horse does your girl like sports? get her a sport

and like that goes for activities too if youve decided to date an adrenaline junkie take her to an amusement park or go skydiving or something

or even just crack open a bottle of fancy wine or whatever

shit is special if you make it special dude and if i tell you exactly what to do that ruins the whole idea of it being special

anyway good luck hope you dont bomb it

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a mother of a beautiful girl who is currently in the second grade. She constantly comes home complaining of a boy bothering her in class. I have gone to her teacher to try and figure out what we can do to make her feel more comfortable at school, but the teacher simply said that the boy probably had a crush and told me that this was a normal peer interaction among children their age.

While I understand that many children do not know how to properly express their emotions or their feelings, I can't help but feel suspicious of this determination. My daughter has said that this boy has pulled her hair and pushed her down on the playground. I don't care what the teacher says - that is NOT the behavior of somebody with a crush.

Sincerely, Concerned Mother

Dear Miss Concerned,

You have every right to be concerned. However, the teacher is right. That boy almost certainly does have a crush.

You see, Miss Concerned, in all my years of giving advice and viewing the world from my lofty place above it, I have come to the conclusion that a man in love becomes the stupidist and most brute-ish thing imaginable. This starts from a very young age, and though the man may be able to temper his natural instincts upon growing older and even produce the occasional bouquet of flowers, this is natural. Why, even at my decidedly unspecified age, I sometimes encounter men who show their undying affection for me by "vagueing" me, as I understand is the modern parlance, in their own personal advice columns.

(By the by, Mr. Strider, everybody knows that my column has more regular readers than yours does.)

That said, this behavior is unacceptable. Were this a fully grown man, of course, I would say that you should toss him to the Old One of your choice as an offering of appeasement for not destroying our planet eons ago, but this is still just a second grade boy. Foolish and brutish as he may be, I will never condone child sacrifice. Instead, focus on the teacher.

Tell her that you don't care if this boy has a crush - it is unacceptable that your daughter is being made to feel unsafe and unhappy in a place of learning, which should be open to her. Children do not learn or grow well in environments they are uncomfortable in. If this boy is making her uncomfortable then, whatever his reasons for doing that may be, he needs to be talked to and he needs to be stopped. That is the long and short of it. If the teacher seems unwilling to help, take it to the principal. If the principal is equally reluctant, then pitch a fit and give some of your fellow parents a reason to outrage. Make the local news. Cause a national movement for little boys to stop pulling little girl's hair in an attempt to flirt. Eventually, the teacher will have to give in. Or at the very least, pressure from social media will get her fired for showing such painful neglect at her job.

Once that happens, naturally, you may sacrifice her to the Old One of your choosing.

I hope that these words bring you comfort and wisdom. You sound like you are a good and caring mother.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I have a crush on a guy, but I don't know how to get his attention. What can I do to get him to notice me?

-- Crushing in California

dear crushinator

well first off let me tell you what NOT to do

the thing that you definitely dont do is call this guy out for vagueing you on your very public advice column especially if youre going to pretend that youre a cool dark mistress of the night who ritually sacrifices people to the tentacled gods of your nightmares i mean okay i guess i should specify that you will definitely get noticed but not in the way that you want despite that saying there is such a thing as bad attention especially when youre attempting to woo a guy

anyways i guess it really depends on the kind of guy youre looking at what do you know about this dude is he into video games?? go take a picture of yourself with a controller in your mouth and accidentally send it to him then hell know for sure that youre a gamer gurl and hell ask to play some fresh games with you and then you have an in (make sure youre actually okay at video games though maybe)

is he into sports??? go dress yourself as a ball

or wear a jersey with his favorite team on it or something

just get a conversation started honestly or if youre already in the conversation zone you can start dropping mad innuendos left and right maybe put on some nice clothes or bat your eyelashes a bit you know just do something special

and again dont call him out on "vagueing" you or hell just continue to talk smack about you to his huge avid fanbase and then youll just be sad and embarrassed

hope that helps

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a high school student and there's a few people who keep bothering me on social media. They aren't bullying me or anything, but they keep mentioning me in posts and responding to all of my statuses. It's getting kind of annoying. What should I do?

Sincerely, I just want some peace and quiet on my FB Feed!

Dear FB Feeder,

Truly, now you understand the trials and tribulations that I myself face on a near daily basis. I do not know you or your body of work, but clearly within the realm of your school, you must be somewhat famous.

Now, I do not know the gender or sexual orientation of these bothering people you mention, but I would hazard a guess that at least one or two of them are interested in pursuing you romantically, but due to having the emotional maturity of a teenager, they do not know how to pursue you in a way that is not hugely annoying.

I am sure you would like to hear that this behavior will naturally fade over time as said teenagers grow and mature into proper young adults, but I am saddened to inform you that often this is not the case. Why, one can even become a semi-professional advice columnist and yet still resort to calling out their crushes in a public space. Therefore, you will need to take some actions in order to ease your own annoyance at the situation.

The easiest option would, of course, be to block them, but I do not claim to be an expert on the delicate social balance of your high school. Perhaps blocking these individuals would be a social faux pas from which you could never recover. In that case, many websites (and I suspect this mysterious "FB" is among them) have a way to block people from showing up on your feed. This may not solve the problem, but may fix some of the annoyance.

You could also try talking to them. Tell them that their constant attention is annoying and unflattering. If they are trying to impress you, then they will back off. If they are trying to get to you, then they are bullying you, and you can report them to the adult of your choice.

Naturally there is always the option of throwing them to the Beasts Below, who quite enjoy annoying human souls.

I hope this helps.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear Disc Jockey Strider,

I have a quandary. You see, there is a particular rival of me who seems to, as of late, decided to take it upon himself to mention me in nearly every single public answer he grants to his purported legion of devoted fans. I am beginning to think that perhaps there is something more to his constant mentions of me. Is this a cry for help? Could it be that the adviser, in this case, should become the advisee?

Sincerely, An Anonymous, but Concerned, Reader

dear anonymous tentacle therapist,

yeah haha nice try

--- dj strider

dear tentacle mistress of the night,

hey so i have this problem and that problem is primarily the fact that theres this creepy advice columnist whos constantly up in my grill and i think shes gotta be in love with me

i mean i also have a problem in that im just drowning in so many fans that i cant barely see straight but thats one hundred percent beside the point

whats my plan of action here do i let her down gently or what

sincerely, a super cool dude with a better advice column than this

Dear Your Advice Column Is Not Better,

It certainly sounds like you have quite the conundrum but I must wonder. Is it her that is in love with you? Or might you be projecting somewhat? After all, it seems to me that you might have been the one who started it. If her responses, as you claim, indicate that she is clearly in love with you, then I am afraid that by your same logic you must simply be head over heels.

In that case, I would not recommend letting her down gently. Not because of her feelings - oh no. I doubt that she has feelings one way or the other about whether or not you actually get the guts to ask her out. No, I would highly recommend that you not let her down gently because, based on what I have inferred from you in this very anonymous and mysterious question, I worry for the implications on your psyche should you make the decision to try and turn this girl down before you have ever confessed your feelings.

No, my professional recommendation is that you suck it up and you go to her and you ask her out. She will likely turn you down, of course. I understand that she has high standards. But if you continue to keep your feelings pent up, it will only hurt you and those around you. Besides, if you do not give it a shot, then you will never know what could come from it. You never know. You might just be surprised by what she says, if you go about it the right way.

Also, I do know for a fact that you have her number.

Your move, Strider.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I was wondering, what's your advice for what to do on a first date? I just met this really pretty girl and we've been flirting a lot, and she agreed to go out with me. But now I have to actually think of a good date idea! What should I do?

Also, since it is a first date, I don't know THAT much about her, since I know that's usually what you tell people who come to you for relationship advice. I mean, that's what the first date is for, right?

Sincerely, Nervous First Timer

dear nervous,

okay yeah for once you got a situation in which im not gonna come over and sit your ass down about actually knowing your girlfriends interests because hey news flash shes not your girlfriend

yet

dont worry my man i will come up with a plan to fully woo this girl and you will then have a girlfriend and then maybe even a wife

just send me a wedding invite okay

actually this goes for everyone if i ever land you a wife or a husband or a gender non specific spouse send me a fuckin wedding invite i probably wont go but i might and i give you permission to advertise to all of your friends and family that you might have a minor local celebrity attending your big special day

but yeah first dates

first off you probably want to do something with a specific end time or else youre gonna end up trapped in a moment of like is it time to end this? do i wanna be the one who has to say i have to go? if nothing else give yourself an excuse to leave at a specific time like you gotta meet a friend or catch a bus

the other thing is that you gotta make sure you leave time to actually you know. talk.

i know seeing a movie seems really tempting and yeah movie dates can be fun but consider what youre actually doing on that date

youre staring at a screen while sitting next to somebody who is a borderline stranger and maybe enjoying a baller flick but are you really advancing that relationship at all?

nah

so yeah generally something like a lunch or a dinner can be pretty good but it can be tricky and awkward if you dont know what youre gonna talk about like what if you start talking and realize you got nothing in common that you actually care about

so thats either good for a second date or if youre like an awesome conversationalist who is always confident that youre able to keep a conversation going no matter who youre talking to

so its usually a good idea to do something thats a little more focused

if you do know anything about her then you can bring her to an event you know she might like

maybe a museum or something? aquarium? zoo? i guess a sport game could work but as i understand it there are drones that come around and demand that you kiss for the crowd so maybe thats not the best idea

anyways just make sure its something for you guys to talk about other than your own awkward burgeoning romance

anyways in the end the important thing is just be yourself dude

i can say from recent personal experience that being yourself works wonders and if it doesnt work wonders then that probably means that the relationship wasnt gonna work well anyways

just make sure you dont dump all your biggest darkest secrets on the first date though or else you dont give your nosy date anything to come back for the next time

but actually that maybe only works if your date is trying to pretend she is a therapist

anyways good luck dude hopefully that gave you some good ideas

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm in a kind of new relationship and it is going great! This guy is great and I could really see it going places. We've been going steady for about a month and a half now, but he's seemed really hesitant about telling other people about us. He won't list himself as being in a relationship on social media, and though some of our mutual friends obviously know, I don't know how vocal he's been about it with the other people in his life.

Now, we are gay, but he's also really openly gay to everybody that he knows, so I don't think that's a big part of it. Everybody knows he likes guys, so the fact that he's dating me shouldn't be that big of a deal. So what's going on? Does he just really value his privacy or is he planning to dump me soon? What signs should I be looking out for. (I need to know when it is appropriate to plan my tentacled sacrifice after all. :P)

Sincerely, Are We Dating Or What?

Dear Schrodinger's Boyfriend,

I'm afraid that going public with a relationship is always a tricky thing, regardless of whether or not the status of your sexuality is broadcast to the entire world. There are many, many reasons that your boyfriend may not want to go public with you. I will, of course, get the obvious out of the way. He may be possessed by one of the Old Ones, in which case, they are notoriously shy about their relationships. They have lived for millenia, so they feel no reason to rush through things. Be patient with them, and it will pay off in a major way.

Now, there is the (admittedly slim) chance that your beau is but a normal human man, with all of the normal lovable foibles of human men. If this is the case, I can see a few options.

The first is the one that I think you are the most scared of - he's Just Not That Into You. Either he is cheating on you (or perhaps you are the one he is cheating with?) or he has plans to end the relationship soon. I cannot predict which of these it is, but if you have mutual friends who know, it may not be a bad idea to ask one of them for their input on the situation. Naturally, if either of these is the case, offer his body up for possession by an Old One. You will have the same problem, but rest assured that the Old One will be faithful and loyal to you up until the point it decides to use your flesh organs as part of an important summoning ritual.

The second option is simply that he is shy or cautious. Maybe, despite being openly gay, he is still somewhat embarrassed by a relationship. Perhaps he has relatives who would harass you if they knew who you were.

Or perhaps he has been burned by rushing into a public relationship in the past.

Perhaps he was, once upon a time, with another boy who he went public with too soon. Perhaps the pressure of the relationship made him feel like he had to perform that relationship to an extent that felt unnatural to him. Perhaps he didn't like how it felt, having something so new, personal, and delicate being handed out to the world at large.

I don't know the type of people who might like to look at your boyfriend's life, but it is also entirely possible that he would not want them to know of any relationship of his, simply because they will find a way to butt their noses in and ruin it. An overbearing mother, perhaps? Nosy friends? A needy ex, who will proceed to harass you as soon as your name is out there as being his "Facebook Official" beau.

Needless to say, there are many reasons that he could want to refrain from making your relationship public that actually have very little to do with your relationship. In fact, it could even be a sign that he values your relationship. He values what you have so much that he doesn't want to share what you have with the rest of the world and thus risk losing it.

Though, of course, he could be cheating. It is possible that I am injecting some of my own thought processes too heavily into this answer. I do not truly know your boyfriend, so I cannot say for sure what his thoughts are. The best thing I can really advise you do is... ask.

Good luck.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I think that two of my friends have hooked up, but I'm not sure. They used to be really annoying to each other, and our other friends and I always joked that they were flirting, but I at least never actually meant it. But now they don't bother each other as much and they're just kind of... calm together. And there are a lot of times that the two of them are pretty obviously missing from group get togethers.

So... were they actually flirting?? Are they dating now?? What if they break up? That will just make them even more annoying!

Sincerely, Kind of Grossed Out

dear kind of

yeah your friends are definitely banging now and yeah they probably were always actually flirting but they might not have been aware of it

see sometimes if you are an asshole you dont know how to express affection apart from acting like an extra asshole to the people that you like and usually this is a self correcting feature since like youll drive away all of the people you like so they dont have to put your extra asshole-ness the real kicker comes when you end up crushing on somebody who can actually match your punches and act like an equally big asshole in return

its a very delicate dance honestly and you should just be glad that you got to view it in its natural habitat if only youd caught it on camera you could have sold that shit to discovery channel and got richard attenborough to dub over it with his cool nature documentary voice and here we see the assholes in their elaborate mating ritual though it may look like a fight to outsiders they are actually both getting really turned on by it and are gonna fuck vigorously in a month or two

anyways yeah its gonna suck if they break up but honestly what break up doesnt suck

i dont think the way that the flirting process happens really dictates how much a break up process is going to suck and from personal experience probably theyd be less annoying broken up than theyd be together since theyd just avoid each other which is a whole other kinda stress but yeah

i guess what im trying to say is yes your friends are definitely boning down embrace it and congratulate them or something also make sure that none of them are in charge of any advice columns

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Hello, I Am A Long Time Reader, First Time Writer

I Was Simply Wondering How One Would Hypothetically Go About Wooing An Advice Columnist That They Thought Was Very Clever And Humorous

This Is A Hypothetical Scenario Of Course I Was Just Wondering

Sincerely, A Fan

Dear Cooling Unit,

Honestly, I stared at this letter for quite a while, wondering how to answer it. I would have guessed that this was written by DJ Strider, in fact, if I didn't know for a fact that he would never put enough effort into writing something to press the shift button that often.

Regardless, I am sure that now is about the point where I am supposed to tell you how to woo me. This is where you expect me to say that the worst way to woo me is to slyly reference me in your public column for the whole world to see. Honestly, that is a technique that I would not have expected to work on paper, but it must have its merits.

At any rate, I suspect that technique would not work on most advice columnists, so I suppose I will simply continue under the assumption that this is the Very General And Hypothetical Advice that you assured me you were asking for.

My simple advice is thus: treat wooing them like you would any other person. If you do not know them in real life or do not have an easy way to contact them other than through their advice column, then pursuing a relationship is inadvisable. They will treat you as yet another fan, and I can say from personal experience that I am not terribly interested in dating fans.

"Fans," you see, tend to put you up on a pedestal. They take a look at you and think that you have hung the moon, which means that the only way for their opinion of you to go is down. Having a healthy, normal outlook on your strengths and weaknesses as a partner is down-grading their image of you, which means that no matter what, you will become a disappointment to them. The moment you mess up in front of somebody who idolizes you, it will feel like a betrayal to them, because you don't match the perfect image they have built in their head.

No, I would be far more interested in pursuing somebody who is my equal, through and through, and I suspect the same is true of most other hypothetical advice columnists. If you do find one who is excited by the fact you are a fan, they are undoubtedly an egotistical narcissist who wants to hear about how they hung the moon. While I do not deny that hearing of my moon-hanging exploits is quite the enjoyable experience for me, it is not a solid foundation for a relationship. If you find such a columnist who wants to build a relationship on that, might I recommend putting a sample of their blood into a summoning circle to bring about a personal curse on their house and home?

At any rate, any advice that is seeking out this particular advice columnist's interest will, sadly, be too little too late. Against all odds, I happen to be taken with somebody else.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I kind of pissed my girlfriend off. How do I get back on her good side?

Sincerely, In the Dog House

dear i hope thats not a petplay reference holy shit,

okay see this is why people need to provide me more details about their problems like look at me i write long and heartfelt messages to all of you

like i really inject my soul into these answers make sure theyre multi paragraph endeavors and what do you give me?

"oh yeah my girlfriends pissed" like what do you want me to do with that theres so many factors at play here about how to get back on her good side or even if such a feat is possible cause trust me there are ways to get on a bad side permanently and for all i know you have done something worthy of the permanent bad side

like did you fucking go out and cheat on her?? if so then go ahead and dump yourself she doesnt deserve to put up with you

if you just like forgot to wash the dishes that one time or something???? yeah thats probably an offense you can recover from and im hoping that youre talking about something like that over the cheating because i am not a pro cheating advice column ill have you know

im a respectable advice column with family values and also a decent and healthy amount of respect for all romantic partners

anyways if you did something like forget an anniversary then that depends entirely on the girl and how long youve been together and how badly you forgot it

if it is a make up-able offense though what you do to get on her good side is......... also dependent on some awesome details that you didnt fucking give me

like my dude did you put effort into this question at all

did you just decide to mass produce this so that you could send it to multiple advice bogs? actually im gonna ask around and see if anybody else i know got it

anyways its a shit question put more effort in next time

some general shit you can do is obviously like buy her something that she likes take her on a special date to a place that she likes or try and do the thing you screwed up the first time but dont screw it up this time

but mostly just apologize

though i kinda hope you did that already because if you didnt even think to toss a lil im sorry in between the time you sent this and the time it took me to process it and actually respond then im sorry you might be beyond help

oh yeah that said one way to get on a girlfriends good side is to be a super famous advice columnist because then whatever you write will be public and apparently your girlfriend could be into public apologies like i dont know you didnt give me enough to work with

but i guess this is to say uh

sorry for joking about the thing you were right youre always right everybody should go to the best advice column ever the tentacled therapist for all of your best advice needs

(that was not a paid advertisement btw but i cant say that it was done entirely by choice)

((but no really im joshing you dont tell tt but her advice is actually pretty sound. even some of the ritual sacrifice stuff is kinda reasonable when you think about it. she usually only recommends it to assholes that deserve it its not just a blanket ritual since thatd have no meaning))

anyways good luck i guess?

like good luck if you arent a douchebag and i guess if you ARE a douchebag then good luck to your girlfriend i hope she dumps you and goes on to clearer waters

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm thinking of proposing soon. What are your thoughts on a public proposal? On the one hand, it's kind of romantic getting to share a special moment with a lot of other people... but on the other hand, it does kind of trap the other person into saying yes because they don't want to seem like a jerk in front of a lot of other people. What do you think is the way to go with this one?

Sincerely, Nervous Proposer

Dear Nervous Proposition,

Whether or not a public proposal is a good idea depends entirely on the person that you are proposing to.

By this point, I would hope that you had some sort of idea about what the person you are proposing to might like as far as public proposals. Are they easily embarrassed by attention, or do they soak it up like they are plants who desperately need all available sunlight for photosynthesis? How keen are they on things such as surprise birthday parties? Have you ever thrown them a surprise birthday party? Perhaps, before considering marriage, you should throw them a surprise birthday party. You cannot truly know a person until you have seen their reaction to such a fiasco.

I would also recommend that the two of you have discussed the topic of marriage before you even consider popping the question to your prospective fiance. I wouldn't propose until the two of you consider yourselves to be - and I apologize for my use of this cliché - "engaged to be engaged." Make sure that your partner is planning on the prospect of a marriage with you.

You might even consider doing two proposals - one more subdued, in private, just to make sure that they say yes. Then you can propose that you have a big surprise that the two of you get to share with everybody else, and you get to propose a second time without any of the stress.

Now, personally, public proposals are not my style, and anybody dating me would know better than to do such a proposal. But.

That is assuming that they can beat me to the punch. ;)

I wish you luck in your endeavors, and I am sorry there was no good place for sacrifices to the Old Ones in this week's column.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

Who should I pick to be my Maid of Honor? I have two really good friends. One I am closer to, and I know she'll probably pick me to be her maid of honor... but the other one is a LOT better at planning shit out. I know that if I pick her, my wedding will be run like a well-oiled machine, but I also don't want to upset my other friend. Then again, the friend who's good at planning might be offended that I chose the closer friend, and be frustrated when she has to deal with her bad planning as a bridesmaid.

So... who do I pick? It feels like I lose no matter what.

Sincerely, Fretting Fiance

dear ff

yo i fucking hear you on this shit weddings are the most stressful thing that has ever been invented by man

i mean man in the generic sense btw not the male human sense though i guess it might have also been made by a male human? idk i should ask about the history of weddings later maybe

anyways its all politics dont let anybody tell you any different

like you gotta be oh so careful with your seating placements at the reception or ol grandma berthas gonna tear the eyes out of uncle jimmy and we cant risk getting that blood all over the table cloths or else were gonna have to pay a really big fee to the table cloth company we hired and were already gonna be broke because of the honeymoon

and yeah we gotta make sure that shellys the bridesmaid second from the left because otherwise shell block out kelly in all the wedding pictures and kelly will pitch a fit

anyways i guess the easiest thing to do is going to just be to talk to them

you could always offer to split the honor between the two of them too if your planny friend is as good as planning as you say i bet you can come up with a good way to work 2 maids of honor into the ceremony

also uh i guess this is a good a time as any to make a lil announcement guys

so after april rolls around im not gonna be dj strider anymore

better get ready to start making your pleas for help out to dj lalonde

-- the artist formerly known as dj strider

[machinehead]

CYPRESS HILL

Anybody remember these lyrics…? "Say some punk try to get you for your auto, Would you call the one-time, play the role model? Nooooo, I think you play like a thug Next hear the shot of a magnum slug Hummin', comin' at cha yeah ya know I'm gonna gat ya” Or this one? "Time for some action, just a fraction of friction I got the clearance to run the interference into your sattelite, shinin a battle light, swing out the gat, and I know that will gat ya right? Here's an example, just a little sample. How I could just kill a man!” Or this one "Do my shit undercover Now it's time for for the blubber Blabber To watch dat belly get fatter Fat boy on a diet Don't try it I'll check your ass like a looter in a riot” And that ends with: "Happy face n***a never seen me smile”. Always loved that line! Been on a serious Cypress Hill kick lately. I forgot how good their debut S/T record is!  Maybe that it’s just that it takes me back to that time (1991)? Regardless, I can’t get enough of it right now. I saw that Billy from Biohazard is jamming’ with Cypress Hill’s Sen-Dog in a new band called Powerflo, and that sent me back down the rabbit hole. I first heard about Cypress Hill from a local Bay Area magazine called BAM. It had a hip-hop column that was pretty small, but was often on the pulse of all the new stuff.  I checked ‘em out solely on the advice of the columnist (whose name eludes me) but got hooked instantly. The music was so fresh for the sound at the time, which relied heavily on 60’s psychedelica (sampling Hendrix and a plethora of cool guitar licks for their hooks) and 60’s pop yet with an almost bluesy major key undertone throughout. It sounds crazy to say now, but back then there weren’t a whole lotta’ people singing about weed like these dudes were. That was the surface; party stuff, but there was a real dark feel to the lyrics. The album opener ”Pigs” (about crooked cops) sets the dark tone and then track #2 was, (which ended up being the hit single) “How I Could Just Kill A Man” (which sampled a guitar lick from Jimi Hendrix's “Are You Experienced”) and “Hand On The Pump” (of a shotgun…) taking it even darker, melding the post-Rodney-King-era of Los Angeles, with their South Central, blunted out state of mind. Something about the bluesy feel of the music mixed the B-Real’s nasally almost nursery-rhyme delivery made it all so goddamned catchy you could not get the songs out of your head. One thing I always loved that the main music-crafter DJ Muggs did was he almost always brought in a bridge/key change at the halfway point of each song.  It doesn’t sound like much, but hip hop at the time (and even now) kept the same beat/melody almost entirely the same. They brought terms like “gat,” “blunted,” to the public consciousness. Soon enough every rapper and pop group from Ice Cube to TLC was taking a crack at the Cypress Hill sound with bluesy riffs, and major keys at a time when hip-hop was primarily atonal and noisy (think - Public Enemy). By the time I got into them, I had pretty much stopped smoking weed, but I just loved the vibe that they brought. Genevra and I went and caught them live on this album, they were headlining a small club in San Francisco with a fairly eclectic bill for the time. There was Money B of Digital Underground opening, and pro-African, uber-black-power, also-rans X-Clan (who were never really that good, but dressed so crazy and militant that they stuck out) as main support.  Cypress Hill came on and played a short but inspired set that got the crowd going nuts.  I actually met B-Real before the show, who was just chilling’ in the crowd.  I said “what up B-Real?” He took one look at Genevra (who looked ridiculously hot), gave me a completely dead-fish handshake and started chatting her up.  I was “all right, we're outta here!" It was a great fuckin’ show, the energy, and buzz in the audience was palpable.  Not sure if I would do that now (go to a hip hop club), but I was 20-something and fearless back then. And while the hits from the debut album still resonate with me, it deep album cuts like “Pyschobetabuckdown" and "Latin Lingo" that truly set "the kids from the Hill" apart.  The latter blending english and spanish to form the bi-ligual “Spanglish” that flowed so good when you heard rapper Sen-Dog’s baritone with lines like "Troop like a vacuo, who said I was baracho, had an attitude, tried to play me macho, Just relax, calmado mijo, Sen Dog with the funky bilingual.” I still don’t know what most of it means, but it somehow made sense. I followed them through the next couple records with 2nd album “Black Sunday containing the massive smash hit “Insane In The Membrane,” and the very metal-sounding “We Ain’t Going Out Like That” (which sampled Black Sabbath’s harmonica intro for “The Wizard”).  Overall the album wasn’t as strong.  It seemed rushed with a lot of the exact same lyrical content, though with that said, it still contained one of the most random / awesome lyrical gems with “like a chicken wing, pa-cock, so you can just suck my cock!” in the track “Lil’ Putos.” So fucking random, but every once in a while, I still hum it! Temples Of Boom was the last record I really delved into and it had a few gems like “Throw Your Set In The Air” (as in: your gang set), and the brutally dark Ice Cube diss track “No Rest For The Wicked,” but other than that it was a little all over the place. I didn’t even hear the next album “IV”, but then they came back stronger than ever with 2000’s “Skull & Bones” and the rap/rock cross-over double hit “So You Wanna Be A Rock/Rap Superstar” which they did 2 versions of (a Rap and Rock version) that worked equally strong.  Great storytelling mixed with the realities of being in the music business. They have gone on to become a southern California staple with an semi-annual festival (I think) called The Cypress Hill “Smokeout” (Machine Head played it back in 2000, but we were way out of place).  Last I saw them Cypress killed it, putting on a really good show that showed them evolve into a full live backing band playing along with them. Since I listen to all of my music solely on Spotify, I’ve been playing the latter day tracks and checking out what they’ve been up to (Spotify is GREAT for music discovery, I cannot tell you how many bands / songs I’ve found since going purely Spotify!) and they definitely continued to evolve a bring in some cool new tunes. But if you want to go back in time to 1991 and check out a record that changed shit, a record that hit so hard when it dropped, that was pissed off, a record that even inspired a few of my own lyrics on Burn My Eyes (“Blood For Blood" in particular) check out Cypress Hill’s self titled. Spotify:  Cypress Hill – Cypress Hill YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ7DOkfbgpQ

Subscribe to The General Journals: http://thegeneraljournals.hosted.phplist.com/lists/?p=subscribe

[the-english-student-studyblr]

Writing a dissertation

These are mostly tips for an English/humanities undergraduate dissertation, but some of it may be applicable to any long term project.

Proposal:

The first thing you will be asked to do (and will probably already have done if your uni is anything like mine) is to come up with a dissertation proposal. This basically lays out what you're going to research, what sources you're going to start your research with, why it interests you etc. It's sort of like a very very rough draft of what your thesis statement will be. The most important thing to consider when writing a proposal is your personal interest in the topic. If you pick something because you think the department will like it, then you're going to get burnt out super quickly and hate your work. If you pick something you're really passionate about, the work will be, well not easy necessarily, but less like pulling teeth.

Another thing to consider is how adaptable the topic is. You might find that, as you're researching, your original proposal morphs into something entirely different, and having a proposal that is open to that kind of evolution is ideal. My original proposal was about how literature effects our perception of history, which narrowed down to unchecked allegories and portrayals of the British empire in children's lit and how they continue to influence children in the modern day. Two very different topics, but that's what happens with research.

Research:

START YOUR RESEARCH EARLY.

That's my biggest tip for you. The earlier you start it the better. If you have primary sources (if you do lit, basically) try and finish them before your dissertation term starts, or make sure you know them very well. One of the advantages of using children's books is that I already knew the stories well, because I'd grown up with them, but if it's a book you love then reading it in the holidays shouldn't be a problem.

Once that's done, you can start your research. If you have highly influential theory texts to read (Said, Freud, Foucault, etc.) that make up the backbone of the research in your field, read that first. At least then you'll have a starting point for the rest of your research. After that, do a search in you uni library system, or websites like jstor and proquest that most unis have access to. Take notes on this research as you go along, important quotes, key arguments, facts and figures, anything that might be useful. I'll do another post about research and how I do it, because I think that would be helpful but it's too long for this.

Supervisors:

Your supervisor is your best friend. Use them. I was super intimidated by my supervisor because she'd edited the most recent copy of one of the primary texts I was using, but once I actually knew what I was doing, she was so helpful, and so enthusiastic. It was really nice to have someone there who was knowledgable, but also genuinely interested in what I was researching. Your supervisor is normally assigned to you based on your proposal, but some departments make you find one yourself. In any case, they're extremely knowledgable in your chosen field, and therefore know all the research sources you will ever need. Every time I had a meeting with my supervisor, I ended up with at least 3 more books to read. It was terrifying but also amazing, because I would not have found half of them on my own.

Some unis will tell you there's a limit on how many meetings you can have with your supervisor (ours said 5 for the whole term), but I would advise asking your supervisor directly about this, because mine didn't care and would've let me meet with her every week if I'd asked. Even if you can't have loads of meetings, they'll normally reply to any emails you send (and believe me, I sent so many emails, especially closer to the deadline).

These are just a few tips for the start of your dissertation journey. Part 2 will be research, because that's big enough for its own post I think.

[scottbcrowley2]

Miss Manners: Husband deliberately disses school at fundraiser - Fri, 24 Aug 2018 PST

Miss Manners advice column for Friday, Aug. 24, 2018. Miss Manners: Husband deliberately disses school at fundraiser - Fri, 24 Aug 2018 PST

[magpiewords]

March AU Madness 02

This was supposed to be a flash fill but I accidentally wrote 1700 words of bantery fluff. Eh, I had fun writing it. Hope you have fun reading it!

newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au

Dear Iron Man, I’m about to go in and ask my boss for a raise. I know I deserve it, but I’m still nervous! Any tips? Thanks, Corporate Ladder-er 

Tony chuckled as he picked the reader to answer this week. As CEO of Stark Times, he so often found himself bored between proofing publications. Their paper went out twice a week, which left five days of nearly nothing to do. Well, not nothing, Tony was sure, but Pepper took care of all those minor troubles. To fill his time, and to fill a half a page in the gossip spread, Tony thought running an advice column would be fun. And oh, was it fun. Especially now that the Shield Chronicle was trying to keep up with them.

Dear Captain America, I just got a promotion! However, my new department is very different and I have a lot of new responsibilities. I want to succeed, I want to impress the department heads, but I don’t like working overtime- I want to have my own life too! This new position seems to require a lot more hours than I expected. How can I balance work and relaxation? From Unbalanced

The Captain was a poor pseudonym. It took five seconds on the Chronicle’s employee page to discover Steve Rogers had served in the army, with a rank of the same name. Tony had almost completely forgotten about Rogers; while rivals in NYU’s journalism program, they disappeared from each other’s lives after graduation. Apparently, Rogers had not forgotten about him.

 Dear Unbalanced, Work/life balance is a skill to be mastered with time. Spending all night locked in your office, forgetting to eat and ignoring people’s phone calls, is bad for your wellbeing and the health of everyone around you. On the other hand, having crazy weekends in Barbados isn’t the path to success either. Talk to your department about setting clear hours, and plan your social life around that. If work gets to be too much, they give you vacation days for a reason. Hopefully, you can find your own source of relaxation at work. I know I have. Congratulations on your promotion, by the way. Sincerely, Captain America

Four years of memories rushed back as Tony read the rival paper. Even as they competed with each other, Steve had watched out for Tony. Those late college nights often involved a midnight pizza delivery or coffee runs together. They were special moments, some of Tony’s favorites. And Steve had just throw those memories to the public without a care of who could connect the dots! Because it didn’t take a genius to remember Tony’s spring-break-week-turned-month in Barbados a few years back. He had been a new CEO and it made the front page of every paper, including the Shield Chronicle and Stark Times.

“Relaxation at work my ass.” Tony knew Rogers juggled the advice column with a busy investigative schedule, but he always knew his old rival was something of a hypocrite. At least some things don’t change. “Want to be petty, Stevie? Because two can play at that game.”

Dear Ladder-er, The key to all success is confidence. Go to your boss, be direct, and be proud of what you’ve done. Those late nights in the office are worth a lot. Whatever you do, don’t be passive aggressive about it, because it’s not clever and everyone will see right through what you’re doing. If you have something to say, say it to their face. XOXO, Iron Man

The publication went out a day later, and the following week, The Chronicle had another letter responded to.

Dear Captain America, I’m starting high school next month. My friends are all excited, but everything is changing. They wear different clothes now, listen to different music. One of my friends even dyed her hair! I don’t want to get left behind, but I like my clothes and music. If high school is anything like the movies, without my friends I’ll be eaten alive. I can’t lie to them, I’m no good at lying. How do I change who I am? From, Metamorphosis 

Dear Meta, The only answer I have for your question is: don’t. Don’t change yourself. True friends will accept you no matter what you wear or listen to. You should always be true to yourself. If not, you could end up like Iron Man over at Stark Times, he’s a shallow copy of what he thought he was supposed to be and I don’t think he’s very happy like that. You should do what makes you happy and friends will naturally follow. Sincerely, Captain America

“That bitch!” Tony throws his tablet across his office, the digital copy of the Chronicle still on the screen.

“What did Everhart say this time?” Pepper says calmly, voice carrying between the doors of their respective workplaces.

“Not her. That idiot at the Chronicle is slandering me!”

“It’s not slander if it’s not your real name.”

Tony huffs at that, but goes to pick up his tablet. Much more satisfying to throw than physical newspaper would be, especially since he wouldn’t be caught dead giving money to that sham of a reporting group. At least the tablet was sturdy.

“Alright Rogers, I can do high school drama.”

Dear Iron Man, Help!! The school musical is in three days and my co-star just quit! It can’t possibly be my fault; he was acting like a jerk while we rehearsed. Never memorized his lines, always showing up late, I couldn’t stand it!  I’ll admit, I said some harsh things, but he was mean right back! Now the director wants me to apologize to him. Should I? Thanks, Broadway Bound

Dear Broadway, Tell that little bitch-

 “Tony we can’t publish that.”

“I am the CEO, I can publish whatever I want!”

“Tony.”

“Fine.”

Dear Broadway, Apologizing is a hard thing to do, but it’s also an art form. You need this co-star for the show, and you need your director to keep you in a positive light. If something mean was said, apologizing is the right thing to do. You’ll look like the bigger person. Someone who isn’t petty is always someone successful. You wouldn’t want to end up like Captain America over at Shield Chronicle, who is incredibly petty. Someone like that is a real asshole-

“Tony, please.” 

Someone like that is a real jerk, and you’re better than that, Broadway. Break a leg! XOXO, Iron Man

The columns continue for weeks, each becoming slightly less related to the original problem of the anonymous sender. The letters coming in start to change in nature, whatever issue is presented acting as a pretty obvious front of indulging the Iron Man VS Captain America feud.

“Look man,” James Rhodes was from sales, but Rhodey was Tony’s long time coffee companion.  They walked out of the Starbucks down the street together as the lunch hour was ending. “I don’t know what your deal is with the guys at Chronicle, but our reader numbers are higher than ever since your column got stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Tony grumbles, “He’s stupid.”

 “You’re both stupid, but stupid sells so keep doing whatever you’re doing.”

Whatever Tony was doing takes an interesting twist when the papers come out at the start of the week. Both Stark Times and Shield Chronicle’s advice columns happen to feature the same letter, but with very different responses from the two papers.

I love my job. It’s stressful, but I’m good at it. I enjoy a challenge, but sometimes I can only take so much. Recently, my work partner has been acting stranger than usual. He’s always a workaholic, but there are weeks where I’m pretty sure he’s worn the same suit every day. He’s always loud and obnoxious, but I can hear him ranting even when I close my office door. He’s obsessed with this new project and I’m happy for him, but I need to keep my own sanity. Every time I try to bring it up politely with him, he doesn’t seem to pay attention. He’s a bit of a news junky, so I thought writing in to the paper could help. Also, he keeps stealing my leftovers in the office fridge and I need him to know I’m not happy about it. Regards, Red Hot Chili 

Dear Red Hot, I truly hope your coworker will read my response. His behavior is absolutely unacceptable in the workplace, no matter how brilliant or important his work may be. No matter the job, everyone needs to go home and sleep. If his behavior continues, see if you can take it higher up. But if even the CEO wont listen, I’m afraid you’ll have to tune him out. Try some good headphones and your favorite album. I recommend Mumford and Sons. Or perhaps you can move his office. This guy sounds a lot like ol’ Iron Man, and those types love a dimly lit basement to overwork themselves in. That type also has a low spice tolerance; next time, spike your chili with jalapeños. Sincerely, Captain America

Dear Chili Pepper, If this guy buys you lunch for the next week and closes his own door more often, do you think you could forgive him? XOXO, Iron Man

Pepper seemed content to dig into the chili Tony brought her as they worked late the following evening. “I expect a Louis Vuitton sized bonus this month,” She says around her fork, “They have some new pumps I was looking at.”

“Consider it done. Did you really have to write in to both papers though?” He stabs his fork into his own bowl of chili. Pepper just shrugs.

“Be lucky I’m not actually moving you to the basement.”

Tony laughs. Despite his higher position in the company, they both know she could very well have his office moved through various means. Between bites, he looks at the Chronicle again, the ink of the paper seeming to itch itself onto his skin.

“You didn’t say anything about my work being brilliant, though.”

Pepper looks up at Tony’s non-sequitur, before a fond smile crosses her face. “Well it is, but no, I didn’t.”

Dear Captain America,

Do you believe that time heals all wounds? The last time I spoke to a person in my life, we left on poor terms. This person is now coming back into my life in an admittedly strange way. He’s still the same stubborn, reckless jerk I remember, still the same funny and charming guy too. Aside from Mumford and Sons, how can start again with him? XOXO, Heart of Gold

Though the letter Tony sends to the Chronicle never gets published, his own submissions box gets a response the next day.

Dear Iron Man, How does a date sound? Sincerely, Stubborn Solider

[the-english-student-studyblr]

Writing a dissertation: supervisor meetings

By this point in the year, you're probably already midway through your dissertation term/module so this is just a short guide to getting the most from supervisor meetings.

1. Go in with specific questions

If you really want to, you can just go to your supervisor to chat - and they will chat all day about a subject if you got one they're interested in - but if you want to make progress with your draft specifically, you really want to go to your meetings with questions in mind already.

Write them down if you think you'll forget. Maybe it's something simple like 'I read this book and I think it's really interesting. Do you have any sources that discuss similar things?' Or maybe it's something more complicated like 'An academic was writing about [insert concept that is wildly confusing] (yes this does happen even in final year and postgrad) and I'm a little confused. Would you mind explaining it for me?' Either way, take specific questions, take something to write notes on, and get the advice you need, rather than just letting the conversation run away with you all. (This same advice applies to office hours, in case you were wondering)

2. Be adaptable

With the above point in mind, sometimes your conversation will run wild, and that's ok. This is the chance to get information you wouldn't otherwise find, and maybe it'll even help you find that elusive angle to your argument that you sorely needed. Let the conversation flow naturally, and if the answers to your questions prompt more questions that's totally fine!

3. Don't be afraid to 'be a bother'

This is honestly the thing that I struggled with most. Your supervisor is there to help you and is (ideally) incredibly knowledgable in their field so do not hesitate to contact them whenever you need. Even if you have a random question that doesn't need a whole meeting to answer ('do we need to do an annotated bibliography because the assessment guide is unclear?' for example) just send them an email. I emailed my supervisor almost every day the week before my dissertation was due with various tiny questions about things and she always answered promptly.

4. Send them your work to read over

Some unis will actually require you to do this, and some have limits on what you can send them, so maybe look into your institutions rules specifically. In any case, your supervisor is the ideal person to send drafted sections to because they are most likely a published academic and know how to write well. Send them your plan. Send them your opening section. And take their feedback graciously. You don't always have to follow what they say - different people have different styles - but it is nice to have someone read your work who isn't a friend or an examiner.

5. Be honest

Your supervisor is there to help you, but they can only do that if you're honest about what you need help with. There's just no point in asking about conclusions when what you're actually stuck on is the intro. And if you're really struggling, they're the first person you should contact so they can try and help as early as possible. If you are having personal issues or some kind of extenuating circumstances they can tell you who to contact and what forms to fill out.

This is your reminder to follow #diss: an advice column for more posts like this!

[the-english-student-studyblr]

Writing a dissertation: the plan

Honestly? planning is something you should sort of be doing in little pieces throughout the research process. Taking notes as you read will help when you collate everything later. But, for a comprehensive plan, this is my personal method of doing it.

Step 1: Thesis statement

I've talked about thesis statements before. They're basically your core argument for your essay, the thing everything links back to. A thesis statement should be relatively brief, concise, and get to the heart of the issue at hand. Your thesis statement goes in your introduction. It is the "in this essay, I will..." part of the essay, so if you want to think of it like the meme, go for it, just don't write it in that style in your actual dissertation.

Because the thesis statement goes in the introduction, and is important to the dissertation as a whole, I always put it at the top of my plan, for easy access.

Step 2: main body

As I've said many times before, I write my intro and conclusion last, so my main body paragraph plans come first. This method doesn't work for everyone, but as I've already got my thesis statement, it's much harder to get waylaid than you'd expect.

I always split the main body of my essays into 3 segments. If it's a short essay, those are individual paragraphs, in a dissertation they might be 5 or more paragraphs long. This structure works nicely because of the rule of three, but also it just makes things nice and easy to plan. The 3 segments normally have headings that are themes relating to the thesis statement. For example, my dissertation's thesis was basically that children's lit perpetuated imperial ideology by glorifying it in uncontested places. My segment headings were 'setting', 'protagonist and plot', and 'gender politics' (in that order).

Underneath these headings, I bulletpoint the points I want to make, split into individual paragraphs if I can, and at the end of each 'paragraph' I have a little subheading that is 'LINK TO THESIS STATEMENT' with exactly what point I need to make to link it back. Rinse and repeat for as many points as you can come up with. You do not need to actually write all of them.

Note: at this point I do not include any quotes or analysis, that comes later, once the broad structure of the dissertation is established.

Step 3: intro notes

After you've got the main body planned out, you can go back to the intro and plan that out. A dissertation is funny, because you can actually plan an intro, and make it as long as you like. I wouldn't recommend it, but my dissertation intro was over a thousand words. The higher word count over all does give you more room to play around though, and the long intro worked in my favour in the end. Your intro is where you lay out your argument and any ideas you need to establish early on, so in my case this was mostly talking about current affairs that made my topic a necessary point of discussion. So, for planning an introduction, you're going to want to include any facts and figures you need to mention, any background information, and the overall shape of the dissertation. And also your thesis statement. Everything is thesis statement. You can never forget it.

Step 4: concluding remarks

This is the plan for your conclusion, so it doesn't need to be long. A lot of conclusion is just wrapping up what you've already said BUT it is important that you ultimately link to your thesis statement again, so it can be useful to just sort of make notes on what you need to bring up to get there. It can also be useful to link back to points you've made in your intro. So, as an example, I'd spoken at length about imperialism in modern day politics and society in my intro plan, so in my conclusion plan, I made notes on how children's lit has contributed to that, and how classics are still popular via film adaptation. If there's anything that needs clarifying, do it here

A plan like this is not necessarily for close analysis or for you to actually write from. It's a very broad stroeks kind of plan that covers the main points you will make and little else. This is, however, the kind of plan that you can send to your supervisor towards the end of your research for them to give feedback on, because nothing in it is set in stone. It's basically a vaguely ordered list of things you want to talk about, which means you can add to it and move stuff around and take stuff out as much as you like. My plan went through so much editing before it was actually usable, so don't lose heart if you think it might be bad. I promise, it's not terrible, just a work in progress.