#disrupting the den

[disruptingtheden-au]

Ok let's start this simple (Ur au got me so curious ngl) Hello, I am one of many askers you guys will encounter. We're mostly voices in thin air that give you guys questions, dares and all sorts alike. We, or at least I, are so happy to join you guys on this new mission. Also who's winning?

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[ sorry this took a while!! ]

[crazy-pe3p]

henry stickmin but there's ANOTHER secret (6th? 7th???) faction that forces the toppats and government to work together or something

i wanna turn this into an ask blog (akin to ending the cycle/glitched charles) but 1. im TIRED💔 2. idk if people will. like the concept??

uh. let me know if you want more??

[peresephoknee]

all this to say I reached the Orientalism Chapter of Alice madness returns and it’s just as bad as you think it it

[tricoloreddango]

☆All’s fair in love and war☆

Yandere Mydei x reader.

You end up pregnant with your enemy’s child. Mydei takes advantage of your misfortune.

Cw: pregnant reader, coerced arranged marriage, mentions of abortion; written before 3.0 version, babytrapping depending on interpretation. Word count: around 1,1k. [BACK TO M.LIST] [BOT I MADE BASED ON THE STORY]

You and Mydei were coming from opposite military factions, both of them being at war, for what was deemed as way too long. Despite the fact it made you both naturally enemies, it didn’t stop you nor Mydei from having a heated, naughty affair behind everyone’s back. Whatever night you could slip away from your group’s tents, you took your chance to come and see him, letting him soak you in pleasure and empty promises. You, dragged around, were rather exhausted of the constant war, but it never stopped you from crossing such line and sharing your body with enemy. It was your need for normalcy especially.

It didn’t mean you weren’t well aware what possible consequences of this affair could bring on you, a daughter of commander, by extension said commander with his soldiers. Disobeying your father came easily when it came to Mydei—he was like a forbidden fruit, who made sure to shower you with attention and make you feel as if you were walking into a lion’s den simultaneously.

To your dreadful realization in just months after your secret meetings started, you ended up swollen with his child, despite trying everything in your power to avoid such plotwist—you were taking only the best of herbs Mydei’s medics provided you with regularly. It seemed your herbs weren’t strong enough, or perhaps it was Mydei’s seed that was too strong, a feat you somehow felt as if was possible with Mydei.

You were scared a ton to announce it to your family, let alone your lover. Coming to conclusion you ought to tell him, your confidant first, you’ve made sure to monopolize his time today; even if having to beg one of his soldiers that knew secret of you both, to let you inside Mydei’s tent.

When he saw you, quickly judging your uncomfortable expression, he was quick to ask. “What are you doing here? It better be an emergency,” he said gruffly.

You wondered how should you tell something so awful and unexpected, meant to cause chaos, something you haven’t even accepted and fully understood yourself yet. So you decided to blurt it out before you could stop yourself from saying it completely. „I’m pregnant.”

The utter shock on his face was the most expressive you had ever seen on him. He stared at you for a few, long seconds, making your paranoid thoughts reach their zenith-oh god, he was going to force you to remove this pregnancy, or he was going to kill you—

“How long did you know for?” was what he finally said, but his tone threw you off a lot. You expected some anger, you expected disappointment, disapproval-but no-Mydei, he sounded almost happy. In fact, he smiled a little as if feeling relief he simply tried to hide.

“I-I just found out today…I’m here to tell you as soon as I could have,” you said shaken up. “I’m really sorry, this wasn’t meant to happen-”

“Don’t be,” he said, making your heart drum like thunder. You were starting to feel really out of place with his unusually positive and calm reaction. Was he not worried what it meant for you both? “It’s my child, isn’t it?” As you nodded, he continued, “That’s why it’s all alright.”

Alright? You were scared to the bone marrow, and he was telling you being pregnant with your enemy, your father’s biggest enemy, your people’s enemy—that it’s okay.

“Mydei, how can you even say that? I just made this war ten times worse!” you yelled, not disrupting his calmness, and he approached you, freezing you in your spot. He looked at you so intensely, you for a moment believed he mistook you for one of the monsters he’d slain. But Mydei stroked your cheek instead, which didn’t feel much better. “No, you don’t see this situation for what it is, my lovely. If you and I were to get married, we can finally set a peace between our people,” he said awfully content, yet not at the idea of ending the war.

Your eyes gulped at his words. Marry Mydei, marry your enemy, betray your people like that. It could bring peace, but you could only imagine what everyone would think of you. They would chase you away from them, leaving you and your child in Mydei’s hands, all on your own. But the knowledge of doing this to them would haunt you the most. “Marriage? Mydei, we can’t just get married-”

„Why not?” Your mouth hung open at his blunt question. As much as you didn’t want to marry him, you had no good argument, besides your personal feelings about why this marriage shouldn’t happen. You were a perfect bargaining chip to end this conflict, with a classic political marriage.

But even with that, you felt a sense of unsettlement coming from something else. Was Mydei to like you that much, his reaction to you being pregnant should still not be so casual and happy-like. He was looking at you with a sense of triumph, as if he finally caught you in a trap you were so long running away from. Or rather, one you were stuck in, but fought so stubbornly to not be dragged away from to his place.

Mydei, seeing your lack of response, continued his unnerved speech and brought you into his arms. “You don’t need to worry as much as you believe you need to. I’ll take a good care of you and our child. You’ll be a good mother, and this child is a blessing.” His words would be meant to be soothing and affectionate coming from any other man’s mouth, but you found them to sound a whole lot more passionate. You truly had no idea how long he’s been waiting for a moment to have you fully next to him, how far his obsession went. It was just this testimony you gave him, his reaction to the news, when you were finally catching up with reality. Your affair wasn’t even that long, but it gave him enough time to start wanting you on a level above simply physical and romantic. Mydei was willing to make you his, and a child was just a mean.

“Blessing?” you asked with disbelief. “We don’t know each other for more than few months! All we did was sleep with each other!”

“Have I not proven my feelings for you enough? This child will be our blessing, even if takes you time to realize this truth. A child out of wedlock is not an option either,” he said seriously, not leaving you any place to argue, before grabbing your chin and kissing you as if he needed to release something he built up during your time together. Withdrawing, he smiled at you warmly, with this emotion not reaching his eyes, and placed his hand on your belly.

“Thank you for this gift, my love.”

You became the martyr of this war.

[kiame-sama]

Humans Are Extinct (Yandere!TWST x Fem!Reader) Monster AU pt 7

(Last of my predrawn beast men, so I should probably see if I can get the next chapter picture drawn despite my slow af laptop fighting me for every bit of existence)

Warnings; Yandere, platonic yandere, romantic yandere yandere behavior, yandere tempers, yandere attitudes, custody battle, poaching, territorial behavior, hoard guarding, implied violence, cooking, casual threats, untrusting yet kind-hearted reader, fem pronouned reader, Vampire Bat, Raiju, Cervitaur, Dragon, Crow, Unicorn, Cecilia, Harpy, Nemean Lion, Shinigami, Water Nymph, Gnoll, Crow,

~~~~~~~~

The loud crack of thunder drew you from your deep sleep. You had been pressing your face and entire body into the warmth beneath you and you could already feel the faint imprints along your cheek from whatever you were laying on. Thunder continued to roll outside and you slowly tried to gather your bearings.

Currently, you were in the nest Malleus had constructed in Ramshackle, though you were not the only occupant when you fell asleep or when you woke up. Lilia and Sebek were awake, their gazes turned outside and it was still rather dark out. You slowly sat up, trying to see what was so interesting outside when a green bolt of lighting struck the ground near Ramschackle. The sudden lighting forced a squeak of fright to escape you which drew the attention of Lilia and Sebek.

"I was worried he would wake you. It's alright, (Y/n), go back to sleep."

"What's going on, Lilia?"

"An unfortunate poacher decided to try their luck and Malleus was the one who took note of their presence. Don't worry, you're safe."

"Is Malleus okay?"

Lilia giggled at this, reaching out a hand to pat your head in an affectionate way. He was acting as if he didn't just say Malleus was fighting someone who was trying to hunt you down for their own nefarious gains.

"Of course he is. Malleus is a Dragon and there are very few who can actually stand up against a Dragon."

You were going to respond to Lilia when you noticed something strange. Silver didn't seem to be present and he certainly wasn't with Lilia or Sebek. Worry began to bubble up in your chest as to where the Reindeer man could possibly be before you felt the warm bed beneath you breathe.

Looking down, you were both horrifed with yourself and the situation as you realized you had been laying across Silver's Reindeer half like a bed. Your legs straddled the Reindeer's hips and you had likely been nuzzled down into the shoulder blades of the deer half. His human half was sitting up and completely still even as one of his blue and pink aurora colored eyes stared at you over his shoulder.

He was very warm and soft.

"Oh? Oh! Goodness, Silver, I'm so sorry-!"

As soon as it hit you that you must have crawled on top of the Reindeer during the night, you were quickly trying to get off of his back. Lilia actually started to laugh as you quickly dismounted from the Reindeer's back, falling back into a pile of pillows and disrupting poor Grim. The cat-like creature responded in a startled way to being jostled, his pronged tail lashing wildly as his fur stood on end in fear. You would have laughed at the startled response if you didn't feel so badly about frightening him to that point.

"Myeh?! Hey! What's the big deal? I'm sleeping-"

Another crack of thunder sent the furball diving forward to hide against your stomach, shaking in abject horror from the uncomfortably close sound. Of course Grim would be terrified of lightning, who knows how easily that 'den' of his would flood in a storm or how close he has been to being struck by a bolt. You couldn't help but pull the soft gray critter closer, petting his torn ears and back to try and soothe him even as his little wings shook.

"... You can lay on my back if that will help you sleep."

The almost tired drawl came from Silver as he slightly turned to look at you better, his Reindeer half partially rolling to one side when he yawned. Despite how inviting the offer was, you were still upset with yourself and worried you had offended the silver haired man somehow. Though you had been dubious about sharing the large nest with your- mostly uninvited- guests, you had been the one to invade his personal space and even climbed on his back while you slept.

"No! No, it's okay. I'm so sorry, Silver. I didn't mean to-"

"Why are you so upset?"

"... What?"

"I'm not angry, if that's why you're worried. Father sleeps on my back quite often during the day. I'm not angry you chose me as your sleeping companion."

"But I didn't mean to-"

"I know. You likely were drawn to how warm I typically am. It is quite drafty in this building, and it doesn't seem like there is any central heating."

You made a mental note to ask the professors about potentially acquiring a heated blanket to avoid cuddling your bed companions while you slept. It seemed like Silver was being truthful with you as Lilia crawled over to your side from where he had been gazing out the window. He was quick to flop down across the secondary shoulders of the large Reindeer and ruffled the silver fur with his Bat wings as he made himself comfortable.

"Silver's nice and soft, and his coat always keeps him warm even in winter. He really does make a good bed whenever I need a quick nap. Besides, he makes such cute little snoring sounds-"

"Father!"

"Keeheehee, just saying~ (Y/n), you should have seen him when he was just a little wobbly calf. I have some pictures back at Diasomnia I can show you. His legs were so long and he always tripped over them-"

"Father, please."

Lilia's joking helped calm your stress from the situation and also seemed to be helping Grim calm down. The blue-eyed cat-bat finally lifted his head from where he had been hiding his face against your stomach, reaching out a paw to touch the Reindeer's side. He clearly must have liked how warm and soft Silver was as he crawled out of your arms, curling up next to Lilia on Silver's back and snuggling down into the shaggy fur. You almost missed it, but as you looked up at Silver you could see a clear bright pink blush painting his fair cheeks before he looked away.

"It's over. My liege is on his way back."

Sebek said calmly, still looking outside with an almost unreadable expression. The lightning hadn't struck more than once and the thunder quickly quieted down after the first boom that woke you. It was almost like the storm was not actually a storm and you wondered just what it was that caused the lightning or why it was green.

He entered the room silently, only his bright green eyes were visible in the dark of the hallway as if he were wreathed in shadows themselves before he entered the room. Moonlight streamed across his form and he was once again the odd Dragon that had stumbled across you that first day.

"Did I wake you, child of man?"

"The thunder did."

"My apologies."

"Why are you apologizing for thunder? You didn't make it happen... Right?"

Malleus smiled as he returned to the nest, settling by your side and smiling at you patiently. It must not have been raining as he didn't seem to have a drop of water on him. He tilted his head and regarded you affectionately as if he were watching a beloved pet paw at him for attention.

"How little you know... Don't worry, there won't be anymore thunder tonight. I have the feeling that my message was recieved loud and clear."

"Did..." you found it oddly difficult to talk, "did you kill someone?"

Malleus didn't answer you, he just slowly blinked and reached out a clawed hand, patting your head gently. You found yourself wanting a bit more distance from the Dragon, wondering if you made a mistake to ask a question you truly did not want the answer to. As per usual, Lilia was quick to interrupt the tension with a loud yawn and stretch as if to imply you all should return to sleep.

"Here, (Y/n), I'll groom you to sleep again!"

"You really don't have to, Lilia."

"But I want to."

"One of these days I need to talk to everyone about personal space..."

~•§•~

The early morning dawn seemed to be a sleepy one as things slowly emerged from their warm beds and into the brisk morning. The low roll of thunder heard late in the night was certainly not lost on anyone as to the source of the sound. Even the few who rose for an early meeting seemed to be acutely aware of the Dragon's absence.

"Good morning, all. I have called this meeting at the behest of Riddle concerning the most recent events of orientation."

The Headmage stood at the head of the table, his feathers slightly ruffled from sleep as it was still quite early in the day. He usually rose with the sun and clearly had more energy than some of the Housewardens sitting at the table. Leona was barely awake as he lay with his head on the table, only the flicking tail showed the Nemean Lion was even conscious.

"As I am sure you all know by now, we have a Human living in the dorm on the main campus. Unlike most dorms, you do not need to enter a mirror to get to it and so it is easier for outsiders to access. However, there is no other place the Human can stay without putting her at risk of too curious students. Riddle, you told me you had a solution in mind for this?"

Riddle nodded, clearing his throat and straightening his bow.

"(Y/n) is Human and we all understand the gravity of the situation at hand. Humans died out from Twisted Wonderland centuries ago and now one has appeared in our school. It is our duty as Housewardens to assist in the safeguarding of this Human as her survival could mean the beginning of advancements made far beyond our lifetimes and even in our lives now. I'm sure we all understand the importance of keeping her safe. This being said, I am of the mind that it's time to switch out who is safeguarding (Y/n). This should be a shared duty of all the Housewardens, not just a privilege exclusive to Diasomnia."

Crowley nodded, leaning against his hand as he gave the proposition more thought. It seemed several of the other Housewardens were in agreement- at least, those who were physically present- at the idea of a shared responsibility.

"I, for one, think this is a wonderful idea, Riddle. Octavinelle is ready to open our doors to this poor unfortunate soul and keep her safe."

"You aren't usually one to offer help without a price, Azul. What are you looking to get out of this?"

"Nothing, of course! Just looking to help the less fortunate."

"I highly doubt that, Azul."

It was then Vil spoke up, the Harpy regarding the other Housewardens as if assessing them while he spoke. He could raise issue with letting the soft Human stay with any one of these uncouth ruffians.

"I agree that we all need to take turns guarding the Human, but how many of us can honestly be trusted with her? It is clear now that all of Twisted Wonderland will soon know she is here if they don't already. Frankly I wouldn't trust any one of you with her safety. Riddle, what makes you think you should be the one to protect her?"

"W-What?"

"It was one of your dorm's students who decided to post a picture of her. I think your dorm has done enough damage for now. I should think you would agree to revoke your own rights to guard her until you can prove you are able to keep your students in line."

"What is that supposed to mean, Vil?"

"Oh? Do I have to spell it out for you? Usually you're smarter than this, Riddle."

Vil stood, his crest raised and an almost cruel smile curling his lips as he approached the distraught Unicorn. As far as Riddle was concerned, only he knew the rules to taking proper care of a Human so only he could provide adequate accommodations for her. But the way Vil spoke made a dark kind of doubt seep into Riddle's mind, wondering if the Harpy could be right and that alone was an upsetting reality Riddle didn't really want to face at the moment.

"You can't even begin to protect that Human from students in your own dorm, how can you hope protect her from actual threats?"

Riddle wanted to retort or have the grinning Harpy's head but he couldn't find the words to respond to the proud bird. Vil only grinned wider at the silence he was met with before turning to the other Housewardens with that same energy.

"None of you can. Leona shouldn't even be considered given he's a Nemean Lion. Azul will try to make a deal with her. Kalim will lose her within minutes. Idia can't even talk to us let alone talk to and protect her. Really, the only two who could be of any use are Malleus and I. Malleus is genetically wired to be a good guardian and I certainly have enough skill to actually keep her alive."

Crowley considered Vil's words, tilting his head side to side as he thought about what the Harpy said. He was of the mind to just let the Human choose her own guard, but maybe he would have to reconsider that given how upset the Housewardens were getting over her and it had only been two days. There was truth to the unusual charm of the extinct species and the hold they clearly had over others even in such a short time.

"I think you all are ignoring the bigger truth and being selfish as hell."

The growl came from the golden lion that now lifted his head from the table he had been resting it on. His green eyes glinted in the morning light and the faint sunrays seemed to shine off of his golden coat. Even his wild tresses held a faint glimmer that made the prince look every bit as regal as his lineage suggested.

"She isn't from here. She has a home she likely wants to go back to. We can't talk like we're keeping her when we should find a way to send that Mousey home."

"I would agree with you, Leona," Azul started, his eyes glinting with humor at the knowledge he was about to reveal, "but there are a few problems with that notion. Jade and I spoke with her yesterday and she claims she came from somewhere filled with Humans. There is nowhere like that left in Twisted Wonderland. I would wager she is from another reality entirely, one where only Humans thrive. One that we can't get to despite many trying in the past to prove we are not alone. I don't know how she got here, but she is stuck here now. Besides, do you really want to be the one to tell Malleus we are taking his Human away? I get you don't pay attention in classes, but I certainly do and I have heard the many tales of Dragons going as far as to kidnap Humans they are fond of."

Leona growled a low warning to the Cecilia to watch his words lest he be the recieving party of the Lion's ire. Though he was a lazy Lion and didn't seem to be bothered with much, he was still a force to be reckoned with when he actually decided to fight.

"Why the hell should I care why that damn lizzard wants the Human?"

"Well, Dragons and other Fae did take the extinction of Humans the hardest and mourn the longest, I would wager the older ones are still in mourning. Next to them, the Merfolk were the next most heartbroken by the ending of such a fascinating species. I wouldn't expect you to understand- being a Nemean Lion and all- but-"

"Keep talking, Cephalo-punk and I'll give you something to mourn over."

Azul closed his mouth quickly, knowing he wouldn't actually stand a chance if pitted against the weapon-immune golden Lion. For all his abilities, so many seemed to pale in comparison to the sheer strength Leona contained in his form alone. Out of the water, a Lion would always win in a direct fight against an octopus, the same was true for Nemean Lions and Cecilia.

"I can protect her better than most of you but none of you want to admit that. You all want to pretend I'll gobble that little Mousey up and refuse to even let me stand my own ground. What? Too afraid she'll like me more than you lot?"

This got Vil's feathers to ruffle as the Harpy seemed ready to fight the grinning Lion that so clearly challenged those at the table. Luckily for everyone else, the floating tablet finally decided to interrupt the conversation.

"Fine, we all gotta do it. I vote everyone's dorm gets put in a raffle and the next Housewarden to guard her is chosen that way."

"This is unlike you, Idia. You don't even show up in person to most classes."

"Humans were the best inventors we had before they died out. The last human lived on the Isle of Woe and made enough inventions to keep the Shroud family rich for centuries. Why wouldn't I want the best story telling species and most inventive species to give me new ideas? Probably why you want her too, Azul."

"Well, I certainly understand a profitable business venture when one is presented to me..."

"Exactly my point."

Crowley nodded, clapping his hands together and drawing the attention of those at the table. He heard exactly what he wanted to hear and he was willing to give every Housewarden a fair chance, even Leona.

"I believe a raffle is a fantastic idea, Mr. Shroud! And because I am just so kind to all, every Housewarden will be given a fair shot."

"Headmage, I beg you to reconsider-"

"Let's start this raffle!"

Riddle tried to start but the Crow had made up his mind and there was no changing it. As he used magic to summon his usual way of raffling students, he glanced around the room for a moment. Odd, he only counted six but there should be seven?

"... Did no one remember to invite Mr. Draconia to today's meeting?"

~•§•~

You stood in the kitchen of Ramschackle dorms, tiredly cooking up enough breakfast to feed your uninvited guests, Cater, yourself, and Grim. Despite your annoyance at being the only one to cook- let alone being the only one who really knew how- you dutifully continued your task. According to Silver, Lilia actually cooked often but was so abysmally bad at it they all thought cooking was a useless skill. It wasn't until you cooked for them that they even realized cooking food could actually make it taste better and not worse.

"If you all insist on making me cook for you, I'm going to insist you all provide the ingredients. The kitchen may be well stocked now, but if I have to keep feeding extra mouths every day the pantry is going to eventually run out."

You idly listened to the sizzle as you half-jokingly scolded the group that milled about your kitchen and sniffed in your direction occasionally. They were eager to get some breakfast from you and had all woken up before you did in anticipation for the warm meal you would no doubt create. Apparently you had once again moved to cuddle Silver's warm body in your sleep and the Reindeer refused to let Grim or even Lilia wake you before the sun was mostly up. The five others in the shared nest were all in agreement to let you wake on your own time, but your actual invited guest was quick to herald in the morning and woke you. It seemed like Malleus and Sebek were ready to attack the redhead but quickly calmed when you pulled yourself out of the nest to start cooking.

Cater had been an affectionate nuisance and asked you nonstop questions about what you were doing and how Humans cooked things. It became very clear to you- based on his questions and curiosity- that junkfood really didn't exist in Twisted Wonderland. Despite how you wanted to cry upon hearing this and mourn the loss of your comfort foods, you realized that you may be able to make your own junkfoods. You would certainly need help acquiring things, but there had to be some kind of inventive monster on this campus that could help you.

"I agree! These guys can bring the food and you can cook it! Why let them get all this free stuff if they don't help with getting or making it?"

"I can help cook-"

You were quick to smack the reaching hand with your wooden spoon, startling Lilia as his wings fluffed out in surprise.

"You," you started with a near threatening tone, "will keep your hands off of the things in my kitchen. Silver already told me how your cooking is and I will not allow you to scorch my meals."

"I think I'm a pretty good cook-"

"The answer is 'no'. You don't get to cook in my kitchen. I agree with Grim that it would be a welcome change to have you all bring me the foods you want and maybe even more spices than the few I have here, but you aren't cooking. If you really want to help me right now, you can start washing dishes."

Silver sent a silent thanks your way for sparing him and the others from another evening spent eating Lilia's cooking. The Bat Fae had learned to love cooking from the few Humans he had the pleasure of meeting, but he was so abysmally bad at it that his 'meals' could barely be considered food. Malleus and Sebek were also relieved to see you quickly shut down any idea of letting Lilia cook and they all breathed a sigh of relief.

"I can do dishes! Riddle and Trey make me do them all the time. Don't know why Trey never lets me help him bake things though."

Cater was quick to roll up his sleeves, starting on the pile of dishes that had already begun to accumulate in the large sink. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad if you could get your freeloaders to help clean or gather ingredients instead of doing it all yourself. Despite calling them freeloaders, you were appreciative of at least Malleus and Lilia being fairly adept guards for your safety. It did make you wonder what Malleus had done last night, but you also felt in your heart of hearts that you didn't really want to know if the lovely Dragon had killed someone on your behalf.

"Hey," there was loud scratching at that side door again and you already knew who it was, "the door's locked again. Please, have mercy, I'm just a starving Gnoll."

"... I really shouldn't have fed him. He's gonna come back every day and night for more."

You had the foresight to add extra to what you were making, anticipating the unusual pull your cooking seemed to have on the local monster population. Part of you wanted to keep feeding Ruggie as the gaunt appearance of the ever hungry Gnoll pulled at your heartstrings. His clear hunger and almost non-existent stomach told you just how little the Hyena man actually ate and it genuinely saddened you to know he was likely actually starving.

"Lilia, can you get the door?"

"On it~"

Ruggie was quick to scamper up to your side and sniff loudly at the food you were cooking. His tail wagged at almost impossible speeds as his stomach howled to be satiated, his Hyena head bobbing up and down when he began to cackle in excitement. Despite the warnings you had received about Gnolls, Ruggie didn't act like a slavering beast that sought Human flesh, instead he seemed much like someone who grew up never knowing when he could eat again or if he would be safe in the night. He reminded you so much of that first good look you got at Grim, covered in all the scars that riddled his little body and marred his cute appearance with tales of agony sustained. Both of them made you want to protect them however you could.

As you moved over to another pan which you had been using to cook up some scrambled eggs, you couldn't help but chuckle when Ruggie continued to vocalize his excitement. The cackling and whooping from the Hyena was almost a comforting song in the background of your morning. It was only when he reached a grizzled paw towards the pans that you barked out a similar whoop at him. Your sound startled the Gnoll as his gaze snapped to you in surprise, his nose working overtime as if to find the fellow Gnoll that whooped in response to his sounds.

"Woah! You didn't say you knew how to speak Gnoll!"

"I don't."

"What was that then?"

"Where I'm from, Humans are typically quite good at vocal mimicry because it is how most of our infants learn to speak. You were whooping, so I whooped back."

Ruggie cocked his head to the side curiously, you could almost see the gears in his head turning and grinding as he took in your words. His short tail had been still as he lost himself in thought before it resumed the rapid wagging pace as his brain caught back up to the rest of him.

"Cool! What other sounds can you make?"

The rest of your time cooking was spent making various noises- from growls, to cackles, even to various barking- to entertain the Gnoll and distract him from the food. Once it was ready, you had Sebek get enough plates for the eight of you and set to divvying up the meals. Naturally, Ruggie and Grim were the first to happily dig in to their breakfasts.

Things were peaceful and somewhat quiet, but as it usually was in this strange new world, things were not going to stay quiet for long.

"(Y/n)," a familiar voice called from the direction of the door to your dorms, recognizing the voice of the Headmage Crow, "I have news and a gift for you, my little chick! Where are you?"

"We're in the kitchen!"

The Headmage was surprised to see the odd group you had gathered in your kitchen, looking over the various students in surprise.

"Mr. Diamond? What are you doing here?"

"I told Cater he could stay here for the night since he was kicked out of his dorm. Sure, what he did was stupid and I am still mad about it, but no one should have to spend a night in those woods. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something terrible happened to him, especially in the name of protecting me."

"It's beautiful," the Crow sniffed as if he were about to cry, "such a heartwarming display of genuine kindness! I would expect nothing less from the beautiful heart of a Human! I've missed you wonderfully naïve and forgiving little creatures so much! Nothing quite like a Human's forgiveness to soothe the turbulent soul!"

You were stunned when the Crow actually burst into tears, covering his face with his hands and openly weeping from your- in your mind- simple act of kindness. It seemed the others weren't prepared for this behavior either as they all stared at the fully grown Crow Fae man weeping and bawling like an infant. He was quick to compose himself despite the sudden onslaught of tears as he pulled you into a hug you were too surprised to return, wondering what his problem was that he was so ready to emotionally break down in front of you.

"My beautiful little chick is the kindest soul to ever live and grace these halls with such a warm heart!"

"Um..."

"Here," he interrupted your confusion and pulled back to shove a hastily wrapped package into your hands, "A gift from your professors! It's a cellular device to let you communicate with us when you need. Sam assures me Idia has already programed our numbers into it and it is ready to be used whenever you wish."

"Thanks? Why-"

"Also! The other Housewardens and I have come to an agreement concerning your continued need for guards due to Mr. Diamond's actions. All Housewardens and their accompanying Vice-Housewardens will contribute to protecting this dorm and will switch out every week based on a raffle. This week is Diasomnia's turn, next week is Ignihyde's turn. You haven't met Idia or Ortho yet, but they'll be by to introduce themselves soon. Well, Ortho probably will be, Idia is excited to meet you but he isn't one to socialize much..."

A deep snarl came from where Malleus stood, casually setting his plate down to face the Crow directly and continue the deep percussive noise of his displeasure. It was more than obvious to everyone that the Dragon was not content with the idea of giving you up even for others to guard.

"You dare divvy up my hoard like I should have no say in what happens to her? My Human is not a pet to trade with anyone and everyone who takes interest."

"I'm not saying that, Malleus, what I am saying is her protection should be taken seriously by all students at Night Raven College and the best way to show others she is worth defending is to allow them time to form their own bonds with her by protecting her. Besides, Diasomnia needs their Housewarden and Vice-Housewarden. It isn't fair to those students to be left without yourself and Mr. Vanrouge permanently."

Malleus just growled in response, knowing Crowley was right but still furious he was not part of the decision making process.

"And Kingscholar? What of his dorm?"

"Mr. Kingscholar is a Housewarden and has made a convincing argument for allowing himself to be one of (Y/n)'s guards. As Savanaclaw has no Vice-Housewarden, it will soley fall on his shoulders when his name is drawn."

Ruggie then spoke up, trying to give yourself and Malleus a wide berth to not upset the Dragon further. Though the Gnoll was quick to fold to more powerful mages, he was excited to hear Leona would be given a chance and equal respect as a Housewarden.

"If Leona actually asked to help, no way he will let anyone tell him no. He doesn't like doing extra work, so the fact he volunteered for extra work shows he actually means to do it!"

"Exactly my thinking! Why deny such a strong student a chance to prove himself? Who knows, perhaps his time with (Y/n) will prove Nemean Lions do not deserve the negative view society has of them."

You were irritated that none of these men bothered to ask you how you feel about the situation, but if the nighttime interruptions were anything to go off of, you were still in danger. Though the prospect of being bounced around between several monster men didn't excite you, there was obviously need for their protective behavior.

"Now, I hope you all enjoy your classes today. I hear there may even be an unbirthday party happening in Heartslabuyl that you may wish to attend. Have a pleasant morning, my little chick."

[its-cartooncrazy]

[Image description: a list of all tarot cards in the major arcana, along with their meanings. They have been matched to a vessel from slay the princess, using the drawings from the memories page. Full text ID under the cut.]

Hello I spent like a week being abnormal about this (no I did not know the tarot cards by heart before this, yes I do now) so here is my definitive list of which princess matches which tarot card. If you disagree with me then you're wrong (joking, please feel free to tell me with your reasoning, I'd love to hear it!!)

Full list of my reasonings under the cut (scroll to the big text saying "Reasonings" to skip the ID)

[Full ID: three columns, listing first the tarot number and name, then card meanings, then the princess. They are as follows:

0. The Fool. cycle of life, birth & death, hope, optimism, childish, spontaneous, lateral thinking. The Damsel

1. The Magician. practical, success, witty, at home, central nervous system & lungs & senses, unemotional, over analyses. The Moment of Clarity

2. The High Priestess. heightened perception, unknown, mystery, occult, patience, intuition, strong independent woman, unable to control or dominate. The Wraith

3. The Empress. powerful women, creativity, growth, beauty, birth, fertility, warm, loving, sensual, enjoys life to the full. The Adversary

4. The Emperor. structure & power, competitive, achievement, authority, hierarchy, dominance. The Tower

5. The Hierophant. status quo, appearances, marriage, teaching, interpreting, structure, routine. Happily Ever After

6. The Lovers. love, romance, union, soulmates, resolved inner conflict, choice. The Wild

7. The Chariot. reward, victory hard won, don’t give up, try again, vehicles, overcoming obstacles, self discipline, hard work, focus. The Beast

8. Justice. logical decision, balanced mind, negotiation, truth, honesty, integrity. The Spectre

9. The Hermit. Solitude, thinking, introspection, learning, teaching. The Prisoner

10. The Wheel of Fortune. Fate, coincidence, luck, cycles, confusion. The Stranger

11. Strength. generous, loving, courage, conviction, optimism, resolve, generous, antagonism resolved, animals (loving). The Den

12. The Hanged Man. unable to move, temporary pause, patience, self limiting, trapped, sacrifice, wait for info. The Cage

13. Death. cycle of death & rebirth, transformation, something is ending, confronting smth alarming, major change. The Eye of the Needle

14. Temperance. balanced, adaptable, see both sides, calm, solve disputes, works well in a team, mixing opposites, blending, time. The Princess and the Dragon

15. The Devil. material world, buying love, material security, mental health, powerlessness, violence, obsession, secrecy. The Witch

16. The Tower. disruptive, violent, necessary change, enlightenment, trauma, loss, upheaval, tragedy. The Fury

17. The Star. hope, new life, fresh insight, phys or ment wounds heal, heal & inspire others, help, human rights, nature, equality. The Thorn

18. The Moon. dreams, imagination, subconscious, illusion, vagueness, deception, fear, anxiety. The Nightmare

19. The Sun. happiness & vitality, energy, confidence, children, freedom, fun, self expression. The Razor

20. Judgement. decisions, awakening, rebirth, healing, homesickness, celebrate success, self evaluation, blame. The Grey

21. The World. end of a cycle, accomplishment, journey, belonging, wholeness. The Apotheosis

End ID]

Reasonings

The Fool I put the damsel down for pretty early, just because of the childish optimism, but later I was thinking about the damsel route and why it wouldn't fit the Lovers and I said the damsel is more about how they are rushing into it. And then I remembered the Fool is about rushing in lol. I couldn't really consider anything else after that

The Magician mentions the central nervous system and lungs, so I considered putting the nightmare here for paranoids mantra, but the card didn't really fit her that well and the central nervous system is different to the autonomous nervous system anyway so. The Moment of Clarity gets this spot for her practical breaking of you, and the success it brings her. Not one of my easiest placements but I'm still pretty happy with it

The high Priestess was hard to place because she's about the occult, and powerful women who don't need a man. If only there was a princess who fit that mold... (/s if it wasn't clear) so yeah. Half the princesses were written down here at one point. The Wraith gets this spot because I found other places for all the others I guess and also because "She could not find her strength in others, so she found it in herself."

The empress is again a powerful woman, but a loving and nurturing one, who encourages growth. It was both the growth and the partnership she has that gave her the adversary

The Emperor is about hierarchy and dominance. I knew very early on that the tower would fit best here. "This one is dominance."

The hierophant is about structure, appearances, and also marriage. Happily Ever After is all about being trapped within this structure, with ties specifically to marriage. Literally tell me I'm wrong?

The Lovers. Okay. So there's a few this could be. The Damsel, with the voice of the smitten? Not really as equal a partnership, as I mentioned in the Fool section. They don't really know each other. The Thorn, where you can kiss her? Well that ignores like. The entire rest of the route so no. Happily ever after? Maybe, but I prefer her in hierophant. The adversary, with your equal partnership in kicking each others asses? Easily, but I also put her elsewhere. Ironically, the Lovers was one of the last two cards I placed, and the only princesses left were the wild and the grey, and unfortunately I couldn't agree with the drowned grey going here. The wild has you literally being one, achieving a common goal. It's not my favourite placement but I dont hate it so.

The chariot is about putting in the hard work and seeing it through, and she does make an effort to capture you (swallow you whole) and bring you to the door so she can escape. Also it's about vehicles, and she literally acts as a vehicle for you. That idea was too funny to not do tbh

Justice is one of three cards that mention balance, so I wanted one of the ones where you merge to go here. Much like the scales of justice, it is about considering all sides and picking fairly, so it had to go to the spectre, who gets justice for her murder when you help her out. The spectre was written down for like half the cards on this list though my god

The hermit is about solitude and self introspection. The prisoner, sitting in silence for millenia, felt very fitting. I also wanted the cage to be here, because the image of the hermit is him holding up a lantern, and having the cage holding her head like that would be fun, but she fit better in the hanged man so.

The wheel of fortune was one of my later picks. Fate, and also cycles. Its a little vague, and can fit with quite a few princesses, but I put the stranger here. Is it the vibes? Something about coincidences and not meeting her feels similar, but I cant put my finger on it so if you can explain please do.

Strength, but of the inner sort. The Den didn't really have anywhere better to go, I don't know if instinct matches with any of the cards. I felt confidence in ones self was pretty similar to instinct, plus it has ties to animals.

The hanged man is self restrictions. I would have liked to put the thorn here, honestly, hanging from her vines. Ultimately it was the best choice for the cage, though, and I had another good option for the thorn. Anyway, the cage can be hanging from all those chains and hooks. "This one is a body that convinced herself she was only a set of eyes." Sounds like her limits are self imposed for sure!

Death and the tower have similar meanings in that things are coming to an end, and both of them I felt were good fits for both eye of the needle and the Fury. Ultimately I put eotn here because its more cyclical, and when she was the adversary she wanted to continue fighting over and over again.

Temperance is the second balance card, specifically about blending this time. Opposites merging, solving disputes. Felt very much like the princess and the dragon chapter. "This one is perspectives bleeding into one."

The Devil is a person tricking you, but also material security. I only ever put the witch down for this one, and I only ever put her down for one card lol. The mutual trickery and betrayal in her chapter felt too fitting. "A trick behind your back, and a trick behind mine."

The tower, like I said, is similar to death in that they are both about things ending. But the tower is more dramatic, about the sudden upheaval, so I thought thematically it matched with the Fury better, who is very upset and very taking it out on you. This is one of the cards I knew the meaning of from the beginning, so unfortunately there was never a point in which the tower was matched with the tower :(

The star is hope and healing. One of many that the spectre could have matched with. (I wanted to make her star shaped wound be the star... oh well). The Thorn fits well here, if you both choose to end the cycle of violence and leave together. The star also has ties to nature, which fits with the thorns... thorns... I would have preferred her at the hanged man for her self limiting, being trapped in her own thorns, but this is also a very good choice so I'm not too mad lol

The moon is fear and anxiety. Plus the moon only comes out at night, when everyone is sleeping, when you have nightmares! But mostly it's the vagueness, mystery and anxiety stuff.

The sun being joy meant I knew I wanted the razor here from the beginning. I briefly considered putting her at death (for the cycles, and also the uh, death) but I think the dying part of her route is not actually that important? Anyway the razor is my wife and I'm glad she's enjoying herself. "She is cruelty. But she is also joy." See, shifty gets it!

Judgement is where you look back on everything and judge yourself. It was one of the last two cards to be assigned, and the wild did not fit here at all. Plus the grey sort of punishes you for your actions? It's unavoidable, is my point.

The world is accomplishment, wholeness. She is as close to becoming the goddess she truly is as any vessel ever comes. "This one sits at the cusp of awakening." Shifty says. Also Apotheosis literally means climax so I had to put her at the end of the tarot, you understand.

So yeah that's that. Thanks for reading, if you managed to get through all that. Feel free to debate different interpretations at me, I'd love to hear em!

[contemplatingoutlander]

"Hitler had campaigned on the promise of draining the 'parliamentarian swamp'—den parlamentarischen Sumpf."

--Timothy W. Ryback, The Atlantic, Jan. 8, 2025

Ninety-two years ago this month, on Monday morning, January 30, 1933, Adolf Hitler was appointed the 15th chancellor of the Weimar Republic. In one of the most astonishing political transformations in the history of democracy, Hitler set about destroying a constitutional republic through constitutional means. What follows is a step-by-step account of how Hitler systematically disabled and then dismantled his country’s democratic structures and processes in less than two months’ time—specifically, one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours, and 40 minutes. The minutes, as we will see, mattered. [...] Joseph Goebbels, who was present that day as a National Socialist Reichstag delegate [when the Reischstag voted to give Hitler dictatorial powers], would later marvel that the National Socialists had succeeded in dismantling a federated constitutional republic entirely through constitutional means. Seven years earlier, in 1926, after being elected to the Reichstag as one of the first 12 National Socialist delegates, Goebbels had been similarly struck: He was surprised to discover that he and these 11 other men (including Hermann Göring and Hans Frank), seated in a single row on the periphery of a plenary hall in their brown uniforms with swastika armbands, had—even as self-declared enemies of the Weimar Republic—been accorded free first-class train travel and subsidized meals, along with the capacity to disrupt, obstruct, and paralyze democratic structures and processes at will. “The big joke on democracy,” he observed, “is that it gives its mortal enemies the means to its own destruction.” [emphasis added]

Although I don't believe that Trump is a Hitler, he is a fascist, and he (as well as members of his future administration like Project 2025's Russell Voight) seem to be drawing lessons about how to quickly consolidate power for Trump's second administration from other countries' previous & current fascist/authoritarian governments.

This is a terrifying article, because there are so many echoes of Hitler in the strategies that Trump has suggested he might use here in America, including "draining the swamp" by replacing civil servants with partisans, viewing opposition parties as the "enemy" (and in Hitler's case declaring some of them illegal), using the legal system against political enemies, dismantling the opposition media, attacking academia, scapegoating certain groups of people, considering using the military against civilian protests/"unrest," giving immunity to police who use lethal force, and consolidating power in the executive branch.

This is a gift 🎁 link, so there is no paywall. I encourage you to read the entire article

[edited]

[ckret2]

Chapter 39 of human Bill Cipher is SURE he's about to escape being the Mystery Shack's prisoner:

Ford's confronted with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he's a little bit too obsessed with Bill.

And meanwhile, Bill has found a way to reach his loyal cultists... if he can find somebody willing to help him make contact.

He thinks Ford is the perfect target.

Maybe, just maybe, the obsession goes both ways.

(warning for an incident of self-harm via burning, and depersonalization and/or dysphoria (depending on how you interpret it) re: Bill feeling even worse about his body than usual.)

####

Soos, Stan, and Ford had stayed up half the night trying to generate enough NowUSeeitNowUDontium to prevent it from vanishing the moment one of them lost (or gained) focus. They'd eventually given up and stayed the night in Northwest Manor. Soos had texted Melody around midnight, and she'd immediately replied (which alarmed Ford, but Soos assured him she was used to those hours) and agreed, with some trepidation, to spend the night by herself in the shack so that the kids wouldn't be alone all night with Bill. She'd texted a half hour later to report that the bathroom was a disaster, but the kids had reassured her it was just some werewolf thing, so, not a big deal.

Ford had thought getting to spend a night without Bill under the same roof would be a relief. Instead, he found his sleep was even worse. He kept worrying about what Bill might get up to so far away and out of sight, where Ford couldn't do anything to stop him. Surely, by nighttime, Bill had to have noticed that the only humans he'd seen all day were the kids? Would he consider Melody any kind of threat, no veteran to combating Gravity Falls' weirdness?

It figured that the dream demon would find a way to disrupt Ford's sleep when he wasn't even there.

####

Ford had given up on sleep around two in the morning and gone wandering until he stumbled across a den with walls covered in bookcases, massive windows overlooking the forest below, and a pair of richly upholstered armchairs turned to gaze out the windows. He drifted between the chairs to one of the windows. It was the kind of personal library he'd dreamed of accepting esteemed guests in, back when he'd fantasized about one day being rich and famous. He suspected the Northwests had never read a book in this room.

Ford had been staring out at the still night and the dark pines for several minutes when he heard the creak of a door and soft footsteps behind him. He whirled around, raising a weapon. "Back, you spectral fiend!"

"Whoa! Easy, Sixer!" Stan held up a hand defensively. "It's just me!" He lowered his hand. "Why are you holding up a dinner plate?"

"Er—sorry." Ford sheepishly tucked the silver dish under his arm again. "I'm sure I saw a ghost earlier. I thought it prudent to arm myself."

Stan muttered, "This place sure is creepy enough for it."

"Mm. It's built on more than its fair share of bones." Ford returned to gazing out the window, hands clasped behind his back. "I'm sorry today was a failure. When I'm staring right at an experiment on which the fate of the entire universe depends, it's hard not to think about it."

"Eh, I wasn't doing too hot either," Stan admitted, joining Ford at the window. "There's only so many times you can hear Soos whisper 'Think about the miniature particle accelerator' in your ears on a loop before you zone out and start thinking about fishing season."

Ford huffed. "Maybe we should have switched places."

"Yeah, probably. I retired from thinking about science after I got your dumb portal running, and once you get your head stuck on something you can't stop thinking about it."

Ford laughed wryly. "Unfortunately accurate."

There was a moment of silence; and then Stan said cautiously, "Speaking of you getting your head stuck on something..."

Ford didn't like that tone. "Hm?"

"I was, uh... doing some light reading..." He held up Ford's journal.

A jolt of anger and fear shot through Ford. "Give me—" He snatched the journal back.

It wasn't until it was in his hands that he registered the absurdity of his own action; for the past year, he'd given Stan free access to Journal 5. He'd used it to document their travels and discoveries as a reference for them both; he'd even asked Stan to contribute a couple of entries. Based on a prior precedent of seven months, Stan had every right to look at Journal 5. Revoking that access now was... Well, it didn't look good.

Stan didn't immediately say anything. Ford supposed his own actions said enough. He tucked the journal under his arm with the silver dish.

Stan cleared his throat. "I think we're a little past the 'superhero nemesis' thing."

"It's not a problem," Ford said tersely.

"Not a prob—? Ford, you're letting him consume your life."

"He's consumed all our lives. The kids haven't been able to invite anyone over, Melody all but runs to her car after work, you ended up in a showdown with fae nobility—"

"It was just the tooth fairy!"

"Do you know how important a fairy has to be to claim dominion over all teeth?"

"Forget about the fairy!" Stan waved off the whole fairy topic with one hand. "Look, I'm not the one who's dedicated half a journal to talking about him!"

"You don't keep a journal, Stanley—"

"That's not the point!"

"—I'm just saying, if you did keep a journal, I think he'd have come up on more than a few pages—"

"But like this?" Stan gestured toward Ford's journal. "This is turning into an obsession. And not one of your normal obsessions."

The back of Ford's neck heated up. He wanted to argue that he had to obsess over Bill if he hoped to find a way to kill him—but Stan already knew that Ford had passed off that project to Fiddleford weeks ago. "How can I be 'obsessed' with somebody I barely even see? I'm avoiding Bill like my life depends on it! I talk to him less than Mrs. Ramirez does!"

"And you're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private!" Stan gestured again, angrily, at Ford's journal. (Ford defensively tucked it further under his arm.) "You're acting like a stalker, Sixer. Not that I care about him, but, I'm starting to worry about your head."

"A st—?! I'm a scientist, he's a scientific curiosity! I'm documenting him! I document plenty of things!"

"Not like this, you don't."

"There's a lot to document!"

"Including spending a whole page trying to figure out—how to draw his—?!" Stan gestured furiously toward his boxers.

Ford pointed at him severely. "You were just as curious as I was to find out how a giant eyeball and a sentient triangle make that work, don't pretend you weren't."

Stan grimaced. "Okay, fine, I'll give you that one. But writing a full entry about his posture?"

"He's not only an alien being in a human body but a two-dimensional creature in a three-dimensional body, how he moves and gestures could tell us about how an utterly unfamiliar species perceived space! Nearly all his gestures adhere to an invisible coronal plane, that betrays worlds of information about his original anatomy. Do you know that elbow thing he does when he walks—"

"Ford. You're using your great-niece to get drawings of his childhood bedroom."

Ford raised a finger. "That's—" Ford lowered his finger. Ford sat in a nearby armchair, put his chin in his hands, and stared into space. "What am I doing."

Stan patted his shoulder.

Ford slid his journal and the dish out from under his arm and settled them in his lap. He stared at the cover, then thumbed through the pages. It was obvious when they'd returned to Gravity Falls; the drawings of Atlanteans, were-rats, shorelines, and boats immediately gave way to page after page of staring slit-pupiled eyes.

"It's just... Bill is an ancient being, many times older than our universe, and the last surviving specimen of his own bizarre species. As both an anomaly and a source of esoteric knowledge, he's an invaluable subject of study. He's going to die soon, and he should die, but... between now and then, I don't want to pass up the last ever opportunity to study him."

Stan sank down into the chair opposite Ford. "You're listening to yourself, right?" He didn't sound angry anymore, just worried. "This is a guy who tried to kill us. He isn't a 'specimen' you can add to your collection of weird stuff, you know that, right?"

"I know, I know." That was exactly why it was so important—why it seemed so important—to capture Bill in words and pictures before it was too late. (It was funny, Ford thought, how Stan's very first conversation with Bill had been a murder, and yet he was the one who talked about Bill like he was just some guy; while Ford had spent so many years obsessively trying to find out who Bill was that he'd almost forgotten he was a person instead of a terrible idea.)

"When execution day comes and you think you haven't dug up enough of his history, what'll you do? Give him a stay of execution until he's dictated his memoirs to you?"

"No," Ford said immediately. "No, of course not. I'm just taking advantage of the opportunity to learn what I can, while I can. It's no different from your 'shopping trip' at the mall—"

"Hey!" Stan pointed a finger at Ford. "Watch it! That was strictly business! It's not like I'm attached to the guy—"

"I didn't mean anything by it! I just meant—as long as we're stuck with Bill, make him useful, and—and to heck with him after that. Right?" Like Stan had said about the scratch cards: why throw away free money just because of the source? "He'd do the same to us."

Stan hesitated. "And you're sure that when the time comes, you'll be ready to pull the trigger?"

"I know I will. It won't be the first time. I'm just glad that this time I'll be able to aim at his own head."

"Hm." Stan didn't look convinced.

Ford sighed. "But, if I think I'll waver—I'll hand you the gun."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes, yes, of course. I promise."

But he knew he didn't need to.

####

Soos drove the tired gang home just past dawn, early enough for him to open the Mystery Shack on schedule.

"Soon as we get home, I'm going back to sleep," Stan muttered crankily. Ford—eyes shut, leaning against the window—nodded in agreement. Stan yawned, "And there'd better not be any nasty surprises at the shack."

####

Bill sat sleeping in his attic window seat, knees to his chest, leaning against the window, ear pressed to the glass.

Outside, Stan wailed, "My car!"

Bill's eyes snapped open. He smiled.

He ran to the kids' room, knocked on the door—"Hey, the bigger Pines are back!"—and bolted for the stairs.

####

Soos got the door open at the exact same time Bill stumbled off the stairs and collided with the living room doorframe. Bill grabbed the doorframe just long enough to steady himself, and then bounded over to the door, shoved Soos and Ford aside, and leaned out onto the porch. "HIYA, STAN!"

Stan whipped around to face Bill. "YOU!" He gestured furiously at the wizard graffiti on his car. "WHAT did you DO to my CAR!"

"Do you like it?"

Stan let out an inarticulate scream of rage.

"Oh, you love it!"

"You massacred it! I've had this car forty-five years! I've done things in this car I can't say! And it's never, never been so—so—violated!"

Grinning ear to ear, Bill said, "What do you think of the girl wizard?"

"The what?!" Stan circled the car. He screamed again.

"Uh-huh?"

"Why does she have a beard!"

"Go on," Bill said gleefully, "tell me what you think! I want the full review!"

"This," Stan said, "is the most ugly, hideous, terrible—"

Bill glanced back at a sound on the stairs. "Oh, hey Mabel! Get over here!" He gestured proudly as Mabel joined him in the doorway. "And here's the artistic mastermind herself!"

Stan choked on his words. "—b... beautiful, stunning, museum-worthy work of art I've ever seen."

Mabel beamed. "It's not finished yet, we ran out of some colors! I was going to add a dragon on the hood!"

Stan's face went white. "No no, it's... perfect the way it is. Don't—don't change a thing."

"Really? You're sure? I don't mind!"

"Really." Looking slightly nauseous, Stan said, "I love it just like this, pumpkin."

Mabel squealed and ran outside to give him a big hug.

Bill was fighting back silent laughter so hard he almost fell down.

####

"...And I still haven't found any sign of the Nightwigglers," Dipper said, sighing dejectedly and dropping his journal on the counter next to the cash register. "So, I dunno, maybe I should give up on this one and move on."

Wendy was sitting back with her feet kicked up on the counter, but she straightened a bit to look at Dipper's journal. She skimmed the news article he'd paperclipped to one page. "Oh, I heard about this," she said. "The cops talked to me about the first burglary. I was in the thrift shop that day."

"Oh, yeah?" Dipper pointed at the picture next to the article. "Did you see anything like this?"

Wendy's eyes widened. "No—but I think one of my brothers did."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, he was talking about it a couple nights ago. He said it was like an armless white thing wearing pants that went up to its face. We all thought he got spooked by a deer butt or something and made up the whole story. Then dad said we should drop it and told us we should stay in at night."

"That's when they come out! At night!" Dipper laughed excitedly. "Do you think your dad knows something?"

"Pfff, not if he can help it." Wendy pulled her feet off the counter and checked the clock. "I could show you the start of the trail my brother was on. It's like ten minutes by bike and the next big tour bus isn't getting here for half an hour, wanna sneak out?"

"Are you serious?! Of course!"

"Just promise you won't tell Gus if we find something. We've been making fun of him for days and I don't want to  admit he was right." Wendy laughed. "Let me grab somebody to cover."

"I'll get my bike!" Dipper was already headed out the door. "I've been looking for a lead for days! I dug through half the dumpsters in town searching for their nests..." The door swung shut behind him.

Wendy ducked into the living room. "Hey Goldie."

"Yello?" He was sitting cross legged on the couch watching TV.

"I've gotta do something with Dipper, do you mind covering for a little bit? Just twenty, thirty minutes."

His gaze flickered to the TV, then back to Wendy's face. "Sure! Anything for you, cool girl."

Wendy had a brief, eerie sense of déjà vu. She shook it off. "I'm not interrupting anything good, am I?" She nodded at the TV.

"Naaah, it's one of those terrible specials about pyramid conspiracies." He shook a cider can, "I'm taking a sip every time they mention Fishmasons or 'ancient dinosaur-worshiping civilization.'"

"Dude. You'll be wasted before the first commercial break."

"Really, you're saving me from myself." He set the can on the TV and followed Wendy into the gift shop. (As he did, Bill checked to see if he had anything on under his hoodie. No? The Pines didn't want him to be seen in public in his hoodie; they thought it would make him "too obvious." He rolled up the sleeves to hide some of the brick pattern and surreptitiously tucked the hood and the bow tie drawstrings into the collar.)

As she headed out the door, Wendy repeated, "Just twenty minutes! Thirty tops. I'll get back before the next tour bus, promise."

"No problem!" He waved her off.

"I owe you one!"

Bill made a note of that.

He looked around the gift shop—any readily-obvious mischief he could get up to? He grabbed an 8-ball cane and took it to the counter. And then he took the stool behind the register, propped his chin in his hand, gazed toward the living room, and resumed watching TV through the wall and backwards. He didn't miss hearing the conspiracy talk—he was sure it was actively making him stupider—but credit where credit was due; they made those CGI pyramid models really hot.

A cutaway of one pyramid showed its internal tunnels and chambers. Bill bit his lower lip. Oh yeah. That's what he came here for.

Several minutes went by. The door opened and a lone tourist crept in, a middle-aged woman with a sun-damaged tan. Bill straightened up and switched his eye patch over to hide his bleeding eye. "Heya! Next tour's in..." He checked the clock, how long until the next bus? "About fifteen minutes."

The woman nodded and quietly started circling the gift shop.

Bill glanced toward the living room, decided he'd better not start damaging his other eye too, mentally cursed the tourist, and pulled out one of Wendy's magazines to read. "Let me know if you need anything."

The tourist spent several minutes making a slow circuit of the room, and then crept up to the cash register. Bill looked up with a smile, didn't see any souvenirs in her hands, and asked, "Can I help you?"

Hesitantly, the woman said, "The sun sets a deep blood red."

Bill's eye flew wide open, his heart leaped into his throat, and his breath hitched. His gaze roved over her exposed skin until he spied a tattoo on her right arm: four triangles stacked atop each other, starting with an equilateral and each getting shorter and more obtuse as they descended, until they'd reduced completely and a single horizontal line underlined all four triangles. This wasn't quite the happiest he'd ever been to see the symbol of a devastatingly self-destructive high-control cult, but it was close. "Oh! Oh, this is—" He rubbed his temples, squeezing his eye shut. "I know this. I rhymed 'red' with 'pyramid.' Why do I give everyone a different code. 'But rises gold over the pyramid'—something like that, right?" Bill gave the woman a pleading look. "I'm close enough that you can tell I know what you're talking about!"

A look of relief washed over her face. "You know him." Voice low, she asked, "Is it safe to talk?"

Knew him? He was him. But he couldn't claim that without proving it—what would convince her?—telling her something that only he knew?—great, but what? Her face was vaguely familiar—he thought he might've given her a visionary dream once—but he had so many little worshipers and they were so unimportant, most of them blurred together.

So all he could do was say, "It's not safe. Everyone here is an enemy."

She nodded sharply. "Where can we meet?"

Bill paused. "We can't. I'm... trapped."

Her brows creased with worry. "They're keeping you prisoner?"

"Afraid so."

"I could get the police—"

"Everyone," Bill repeated, "is an enemy."

She paused, processing that. Bill's gaze flickered to the clock. Wendy said twenty minutes, thirty tops. She'd been gone twenty-two minutes. "Someone's coming any minute."

"Right." The cultist grabbed Wendy's magazine, tore a corner off a page, and grabbed a pen.

"How did you find me?" Bill asked. Of all the tourist traps in all the tiny towns in all the world, how had she come in hereand walked right up to him? 

"We were told a devotee was here," she said. "Someone sent the address and phone number to the Bahamian art studio."

Bill's mind spun. How? Who the heck would know to do that? The only person who knew he was here who'd come anywhere close to any of Bill's other worshipers was...

Ford? No. Did he?

The cultist shoved the paper in his hand and turned to leave.

Bill grabbed her arm. "Stay out of Gravity Falls," he commanded. "But stay close. Don't go back to Death Valley." Between the sun damage and the tattoo, she had to be one of his Death Valley girls. She looked like their usual prey: disaffected middle class white woman, probably had a dead end job and a mediocre husband and a useless degree from a liberal arts college. Maybe being able to guess where she came from would impress her.

It did. She stopped and turned back and looked at him in amazement—and then looked at him, staring hard at his eye. "You're... hosting him, aren't you?" Her voice fell to a whisper. "No. Are you...?"

"You got me." He smiled wryly—behold him, electric god bound in flesh, how low he's fallen, but at least he still has his good humor, doesn't he? "I always said you had great intuition." (It was a safe bet. He usually told the ladies that they had great intuition. Most of them ate that up, and the ones that didn't were often a little too savvy to sucker.)

It worked. She inhaled sharply. "You are," she breathed. "I knew you'd be a woman. Oh, Mary's a fool." She said this like she'd just won some years-old argument Bill had missed.

Mary, as in Mary-whom-Bill-had-put-in-charge-of-the-Death-Valley-compound Mary? Ha. She was getting on in years; maybe Bill could start a schism, that sounded fun. He opened his mouth to say something about Mary having great leadership but waning clarity of vision—

—when the cultist leaned across the counter, grabbed his collar, and pulled him into a kiss.

Okay. All right. She was one of those cultists. Got it. Got it got it got it. Wow. Definitely a "mediocre husband" convert, those were easy to seduce away with a little warmth and affection—nothing obvious, but get them infatuated with the idea of an unattainable incorporeal ideal lover and they'd chase him to the ends of the earth. Maybe a lesbian in denial that Bill had decided to push further into denial, if her assumption about Bill's gender was anything to go by. He tried to remember what he'd told this one.

He leaned into the kiss.

He'd done this before—in dreams, in puppets—he didn't prefer humans, but he could handle them well enough and earthlings had such pretty eyes. And this body he was stuck in made such insistent demands; a surge of human hormones washed over his brain so powerfully it made him dizzy. She broke the kiss to murmur, "Cipher, my lord—" and he took the opportunity to kiss her eyelid and lie, "I knew if anyone could find me, it would be you." He wished he remembered her name. She tugged his face back down to her lips. She was so eager. Cipher, my lord. Oh, it felt good to be revered again—

The door opened. "Um?"

If Bill had had one ounce of his power, he would have killed Wendy on the spot.

Instead, he seized his cultist's hands, ripped them off his hoodie, and shoved her away. "Whoa, lady! What do you think this is, a kissing booth?!" He laughed angrily. "We don't offer that kind of service here! Either get out, or—or buy a souvenir already!" He pointed at Wendy. "From her. Not from me."

Shocked, the cultist turned toward where Bill was pointing; and then turned back, understanding in her eyes.

Wendy raised her hands defensively, grimacing. "Yeah, no, I'm not serving you either. Just... get outta here."

The cultist met Bill's gaze for just a moment, then walked quickly out the door without a word.

Bill shouted after her, "And do not come back!" and quietly mourned as, for the second time in as many weeks, he had to watch helplessly as he sent away his only hope of getting any action/rescue.

"I am so, so sorry," Wendy said. "I leave for like ten minutes and you get one of the nightmare customers."

How Bill loved nightmares. "Twenty-five minutes, but who's counting."

"Psh, shut up." Wendy reclaimed her post behind the counter. "I think she's been here before, she looks kinda familiar. You okay?"

Bill hoped nobody else in town would recognize her. "I think I'll live after some mouthwash. Terrible breath." He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Hey, remember when you said you owe me one? You really owe me."

####

All his cultist had written for him was a phone number. Bill slid his stolen journal from its window hiding spot and copied the number down in two-tone dots and dashes. Plaintext transcriptions were usually tricky, given the vast difference between the language Bill wrote in and the languages humans used—but numbers, at least, were easy. Everyone had numbers.

And then he stared at the scrap of paper, reading the numbers over and over, until he was sure he'd memorized them, just in case he ever lost the journal.

And then he ate the paper.

And then he stacked the two cushions of his makeshift bed on top of each other, planted his face in them, and screamed.

Cipher, my lord. It had felt so, so, so good to be revered again.

His organs twisted with touch-hunger and loneliness.

####

Out in the Bahamas, along the southwest edge of the Bermuda Triangle, were two nut job hermits from Miami. Bill had convinced them that the only way they could purge their sins and purify their souls was by sculpting and selling golden avatars of God into which they could pour their guilt, and they had to keep doing it until they no longer felt guilty (and they would never not feel guilty; they needed so much therapy that Bill had ensured they'd never get). And then he'd convinced them that God's true face was an Eye of Providence in a top hat and bow tie.

Over the years he'd lost a little control over those two—in their desperation to be free of sin, they'd also started sculpting avatars to as many gods as they could find and selling them en masse to afford more art supplies—but hey, as long as his face was still mixed in with the rest, fine. Honestly, he was surprised those nuts weren't dead yet.

Somebody in this house had sent his location to them. And in a moment of what Bill imagined was stunning mental clarity, they had passed on that information to the single least dysfunctional pocket of Bill's top cult in the continental United States. Maybe when Bill was back at full power, he'd drop by the hermits' dreams to tell them they'd finally achieved absolution and could rest. Their decades of out-of-control scrupulosity would probably prevent them from believing him, but hey, he could say he'd tried. He washed his hands of all responsibility over them and their mental illnesses that he'd knowingly deliberately exacerbated for his own benefit. Not his problem.

But the question he came back to, over and over, was who had talked to them.

Bill needed to reach his Death Valley cultist. He needed a phone. Every phone in this house was well-guarded. No one would let him touch one... except, perhaps, whoever had sent the SOS on his behalf.

The only person who made sense was Stanford. Bill didn't think he'd ever told Ford about the nutty sculptors; but in the eighties he had given him the mailing addresses of some niche art dealers who would sell tapestries and statues of an obscure one-eyed god to collectors who could appreciate what they were looking at. Maybe Ford had gotten back in contact with them? Maybe he'd told them where Bill was, and they'd passed the information to the Bahamas?

Maybe Ford's feelings weren't quite so cold toward Bill as he'd been pretending.

Bill liked that idea a lot.

Maybe Bill's birthday gift had swung Ford back around to the side of reason—reminded him just how good he'd had it under a muse and mentor willing to teach him anything his nerdy little heart desired. Or maybe he'd always wanted to come back, and had just needed Bill to say it first.

He probably only pretended he hated Bill because they were surrounded by enemies—everyone in the house thought Ford was looking for a way to destroy Bill, what would happen if they knew the truth?

But the truth was there. Bill could almost seize it in his hands. All those moments where they almost talked like they were friends again, before Ford had to stop himself and leave. That one beautiful little word: jealous. And of course, there was the whole thing with the glass pyramid and the "Mysteries" that Ford had passed on—

—to Mabel.

There was another possibility.

As much as Bill would love if it was Ford, Mabel was the only person in the house who acted like she actually wanted Bill alive. Whatever "Mysteries" Ford was teaching her had something to do with Bill, the pyramid made that obvious. Maybe his lessons included the contact information of everyone else Ford knew who knew Bill? Maybe she'd taken it upon herself to call for help?

It was thin. And it was still dependent upon Ford harboring a secret loyalty to Bill that he was passing on to his great-niece. But that was where things stood: Ford was the only person in the house who definitely knew how to reach Bill's followers, but Mabel was the only person in the house who definitely might want to.

And he had to make completely sure of which one of them it was before he asked for a favor.

####

Ford had missed dinner again.

Fiddleford had sent Ford home with a pile of math. All the calculations he'd done to get the miniature particle accelerator to produce Dontium. By his reckoning, that there jar should've filled with Dontium faster than greased lightning; he just plumb can't understand why it trickled in like cold molasses. (His words.) He'd asked Ford to check his work, see if he'd missed something.

Ford was more than happy to help. It was a much-needed intellectual challenge that didn't involve Bill's underhanded birthday gift. Something that would let him feel like he was making progress. And it was comfortingly familiar. He and Fiddleford had spent weeks checking and re-checking each other's math in the lead up to the portal test, before they knew what a horror they were building.

As soon as Ford had gotten home, he'd put Fiddleford's papers in his underground study before going back to bed. Bill had already admitted he could glimpse the future, although Ford wasn't sure how far; and Ford was growing convinced that Bill's ability to perceive "higher dimensions" let him see through walls like they weren't there. He'd begun keeping Journal 5 and other sensitive materials down in his study at all times, hoping that the distance and layers of dirt and rock would keep Bill from peering in.

And when he'd dragged himself out of bed around noon—an embarrassingly late hour to get up, but he had been awake most of the night—he'd grabbed a quick breakfast/lunch, brewed a pot of coffee to take with him, and gone below to get to work.

He'd only worked seven or eight hours with a couple of reluctant breaks in the middle before his head began pounding too hard for him to ignore. He'd been neglecting his exercise regimen the past few weeks, and his back and neck were letting him know. In his thirties, he'd been able to work fourteen hours days and still want to keep going—and that was even before he'd handed his body over to Bill so he could keep working around the clock. He wasn't as young as he used to be.

He dragged himself upstairs after sunset, when the last ambient light from the sky still faintly glowed through the windows. He could make something quick and simple for dinner, go to bed early, and get up early to continue working. He pushed through the door to the dark living room—

"Hello!"

"Gah!" Ford jumped. "You. What are you doing here?"

Bill was leaning next to the door, a dim silhouette with his elbow on the wall and cheek in his hand. Even in the dark, Ford was sure he could see Bill's wicked grin at his reaction. "I happen to live here."

Ford let out an irritated huff. "Whatever you're up to, I don't have time to deal with it. Find someone else to bother." He pushed past Bill and headed toward the kitchen.

It would have been too much to expect Bill not to follow him, wouldn't it? "Aw, c'mon, don't be like that! Would it kill you to act like you're happy to see me?"

"Probably."

Bill's laugh made Ford's shoulders raise up around his ears. Maybe that was the source of his neck pain.

Bill shadowed him into the kitchen and leaned on the table, watching while Ford rummaged through the fridge. "But seriously, Sixer—who are you trying to impress by giving me the cold shoulder? I'm the only one here. You could afford to treat me like a person for two minutes." When Ford slammed the fridge door, Bill smacked it with the tip of an 8-ball cane. "Hey, have my food privileges been revoked? Give me a turn."

How long had Bill had a weapon? Ford snatched the cane from him, but opened the fridge and left it. "I don't consider you a person. I consider you an incalculably destructive force of pure, brutal chaos." He cracked three eggs in a skillet and opened a cabinet for one of the stove knobs they kept stored where Bill couldn't reach them.

"Flattering!" Bill started pulling out his usual nauseating array of condiments: today was sauerkraut, maraschino cherries, mustard, ranch dressing, and barbecue sauce. (Why did he eat like that? Did his species usually subsist on a mostly liquid diet? Was it the flavors—?) "Hey, make me mac 'n' cheese, wouldja?"

"No."

"Fine. Leave the burner on when you're done, I'll make it myself."

"You're not allowed to use the stove."

"Then how about I sit here drinking mustard while you enjoy a hot meal." Bill waved three eggs at Ford. "At least make me eggs too. Zero extra effort on your part. I'll even crack them for you if you want."

Ford gave Bill a dark look; but he supposed, as one of the people who had agreed that Bill wasn't allowed to cook, he was in no position to complain about Bill begging him to cook on his behalf. He snatched the eggs out of Bill's hand. "How do you want them."

"I haven't eaten enough chicken eggs to have a preference. Whatever you'll complain least about doing."

Poorly scrambled eggs it was. Ford shut the fridge and returned to the stove.

Bill sat on the table and crossed his legs in lotus position while he waited. "But really, what do you get out of pretending you can't stand me! We both know it's an act."

Ford gave him a tired, sour look. "Even for you, you sound delusional."

"I know you don't really hate me."

"I could write an entire dissertation and earn another Ph.D. on the topic of how much I hate you."

Ford hated how excited Bill looked by that. "Would you?"

"No! Why would I waste that much time thinking about you?"

"It seems to me like you're already doing that."

The hair on the back of Ford's neck prickled. Surely Bill just meant Ford's research into how to kill him; but his mind flashed to the miniature grimoire he'd spent all his time poring over—the blueprints of Bill's childhood home—the face he'd absent-mindedly drawn in his journal in the middle of the night and quickly scribbled out. Could Bill still see through that face? Had Ford remembered to blind Bill's eye on the blueprints? What about the eyes drawn in his human faces? Did Bill know about Ford's other studies? What did it matter—nothing Ford was doing was wrong. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Bill's smile slowly widened. "Sure you don't. You might hate me to my face, but behind my back you're as obsessed with me as ever. You might as well lean into it."

You're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private. "I am not..." Wasn't he? You're acting like a stalker, Sixer.

"Oh, Fordsy, come on." Bill uncrossed his legs, slid off the table, and was across the room faster than Ford had expected. Ford instinctively took a step back and bumped into the oven; Bill reached past him to lean a hand against the edge of the stove, inches from touching him. "You're not hiding it half as well as you think you are. Did you think I wouldn't notice?" He smirked up at Ford, exposed eye wide and eager, utterly fascinated with him. "And bringing Mabel in on it? I'll have to admit, that surprised me. Can't say I disapprove, though."

Ford couldn't tell if the heat on the back of his neck was from Bill's accusations or the stove. "I beg your pardon?" What was he talking about—their conversation in Portland? The blueprints of Bill's home? (Using his great-niece to spy on Bill, lord, what was Ford doing?)

"Quit messing around! The Mysteries, Stanford. You think I don't know I'm the star of that show?" He poked the center of Ford's chest, "There's no way you joined a cult, you're not enough of a team player! What'd you do? Invent your own cult of one? Mixed a little of what I taught you, a little of whatever you learned out in the multiverse? I know you were asking around about me." Bill chuckled. "You want to keep your little rituals private, fine—I think it's cute, really—just tell me one thing I've been dying to know: how much have you told the kid?"

Ford stared at Bill.

Then he laughed in his face. "You really bought that?"

Bill's smile immediately vanished. "What?"

Ford shoved Bill's hands away. "There are no 'Mysteries.' It was a joke."

Bill stepped back, staring at Ford, brows furrowed. "A...? No," he said. "She's got that glass pyramid—"

"She wanted it because it was pretty," Ford said. "I gave her one since I was throwing them all out."

"That's the stupidest story I've ever heard. Then why would she have brought up the Mysteries!"

"Because," Ford said, "I told her, if you asked about the pyramid, she should make up something to confuse you."

Bill's mouth was open, but no words came out. His face had rapidly turned red. Several emotions flashed across his face in quick succession, from shock to confusion to humiliation to a rage so deep it almost looked like disgust. For a moment, from how Bill's fingers were curling like claws, Ford was sure Bill was about to attack him.

But then he clenched his jaw, backed off, leaned on the table, jammed his fists down against the tabletop, and glared at the floor.

Ford turned back to the stove, grinning to himself. Some of the eggs had burned slightly. Those were Bill's now. "What's the matter? Did you forget that humans can lie?"

Bill didn't reply.

"I'm surprised you didn't expect it. I seem to remember we got you with an impressive whopper last year—"

"Shut up."

"Now you don't want to talk?"

"Now you do?"

Good point; he didn't. If he'd finally rendered Bill speechless, he should enjoy it while he could.

He'd have to thank Mabel later for inventing the Mysteries. Sometimes that girl could be genius.

Ford turned off the burner, put the stove knob away, and dumped the eggs onto two plates. He didn't even bother to keep track of which plate had the burned eggs.

He shot a quick, exasperated look at Bill—he'd sat on top of the table again—and dropped a plate next to him. "Here." He grabbed a bag of bread and looked around for the toaster.

Behind him, voice trembling but low and dangerous, Bill said, "Don't look at me like that."

Ford glanced back warily. "Like what?"

Bill violently shoved off the table. There was an awful squeal of sliding furniture. Before Ford could react, Bill was in his face, grabbing him by his turtleneck, dragging him in, forcing him to look up at Bill.

Ford's peripheral vision was filled with gold. They were so close their noses nearly touched.

"Like you don't remember who I am!" Bill stared down with wide-eyed seething rage. "Your muse!" His voice cracked, "Your god!"

Ford stared up at Bill, speechless.

Then he looked down.

Bill was standing on a chair to make himself taller than Ford.

Ford ripped Bill's hands off his sweater. "You were never, ever my god."

Bill stumbled off the chair, catching himself hard on the edge of the table to keep from falling completely. "That's not true!" He heaved himself back onto his feet with a wince. "You worshiped me—"

"I admired you!" Ford jabbed a finger at Bill's chest. "I respected you! I—I even idolized you, but I never worshiped you!"

Bill jabbed a finger back, "You're splitting hairs! You practically turned your study into a temple to me—tapestries, rugs, statues—"

"Because you said it would help me reach you!"

"And it did! That's what shrines are for, genius!"

"It wasn't a shrine! Not to me."

"You're kidding me! All the money you dropped on that gold-plated statue and you expect me to believe that wasn't an act of worship—"

"Do not. Remind me. How much. That stupid statue cost."

"If you didn't build a shrine for worship then what in the world did you build it for!"

"Friendship!" Ford took a shaky breath in. "I thought... I honestly thought you—you—were my best friend." The air in the room trembled with heat. They were standing too close to each other. Ford refused to be the one to back up.

"I was," Bill said. "I still could be if you'd stop being a moron."

Ford laughed in disbelief. "Which is it, were you my god or my friend?!"

"They're not mutually exclusive—!"

"You can't keep your story straight for THIRTY SECONDS!"

"Don't you call me a LIAR, after EVERYTHING I taught you—!"

"In all the years I've known you I don't think you've told me the truth ONCE—!"

Stan flipped on the lights.

They froze and stared at him. They had their hands around each other's throats. Bill had a foot planted on Ford's stomach like he was trying to get a foothold to climb him. They were both covered in egg.

Stan said, "Could you do this in the morning?"

Ford said, "Sure."

Bill said, "He started it."

"I st—?! You started all of this thirty years ago—"

"Guys," Stan said tiredly.

With some effort, Ford unpeeled his hands from Bill's neck.

To his surprise, Bill voluntarily let go as well. Ford snatched up what was left of his plate of eggs, took the loaf of bread—he had lighters, he could toast it downstairs—and left the kitchen, turning the light off as he went.

Stan was waiting out in the entryway. "Heading to bed?"

"No." Ford shoveled a forkful of eggs in his mouth. "Going to be up late." He was too angry to sleep. He could eat, take a painkiller for his headache, and keep working.

"More research?"

"No. Calculations."

Stan's shoulders slumped; but all he said was, "Suit yourself. Don't stay up too late."

Ford glanced back once into the kitchen. Bill wasn't moving. He sat slumped in a chair, elbows on his knees. He'd pulled on his hood. Its eye stared at Ford.

Ford wasn't about to pity Bill over a performative display of angst. He'd fallen for that already.

He returned to his study and mathematics.

####

Bill stared at his plate of eggs. He mechanically pushed them around on the plate until they formed a perfect equilateral triangle. He scooped out an empty white eye in the middle.

He stood, snatched up the plate, and smashed it on the floor.

They thought he was stupid. They thought he couldn't use a stove if it didn't have knobs, as if he was a child! The humans made it easy for themselves to think of him as a child when they treated him like one, "baby-proof the doors" and "no sharp objects" and "don't talk to strangers." He could show them.

He grabbed the stem where one of the knobs had been removed, and twisted. He heard the hiss of gas under the burner. Everyone was asleep. He could fill the house with gas. It would only take a little push to make a spark and set the entire shack ablaze. In the dark room, he could see the first glimpse of future flames flickering yellow-orange in the periphery of his foresight. No one would survive. Who's your god now, smart guy? He'd rise like a phoenix from his own corpse and he'd tear this town apart.

Where was Mabel?

Was she home tonight?

Bill turned off the gas.

He pushed up his sleeve and pressed the fleshy part of his forearm onto the still-hot burner. The pain burned away his jumbled anger so he could think clearly.

Who cared how the nutty sculptors had gotten Bill's address? He was making good progress on lucid dreaming; maybe he'd astral projected across the country to call for help and forgotten it when he woke up. He'd probably saved himself without even remembering it. It didn't matter. The important thing was that they'd received the message; and now, Bill had friends on the outside. Friends who were on his side.

If he could ever contact them again.

Bill would find a way. He didn't need Ford's help. "Never worshiped you." Ha.

He needed fresh air. Even if it wasn't safe to escape yet, he needed to breathe. He carried himself backward through doorway into the gift shop, pulled aside the curtain hiding the ladder to the roof—

The trap door was shut. He stared up in despair.

He shot a glare toward the vending machine, and angrily crossed back into the living room.

The air was so stuffy inside the shack. "Never worshiped you." Liar. If it wasn't worship then what was it?

Bill took himself upstairs. Hunger gnawed at his stomach. He lay on his makeshift bed curled up around himself, arms wrapped tight across his stomach, his burn pressed hard against a layer of knit yarn, thighs pulled up against his arms. It was a wholly alien position. It felt unnatural and bizarre. This body had curled like this of its own volition. It seemed like the only thing that briefly smothered the ache of emptiness and the hormonal inferno screaming loneliness through every vein. The loneliness wasn't his. He wasn't lonely. This body was. 

Cipher, my lord.

He hated this body.

He ached to be revered again.

####

It was two in the morning. Ford sat at his desk, pages and pages of math scattered before him, glasses off, hand rubbing his eyes.

He didn't want to be checking a mountain of math like a human calculator. He wanted to be studying strange magic and researching new anomalies. He wanted to be digging through Bill's grimoire.

He wanted to be awed again.

####

(I've been waiting to write/draw Bill screaming his grief over not being worshiped since literally April. I hope y'all enjoyed! This is one of my favorite chapters so far, I'd love to hear what y'all think!!)

[weasleyreidstyles]

Serendipity

chapter thirteen

summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.

no use of y/n, but your general nickname is Meadow. all characters are aged up to be over 18.

pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader

warning(s): 18+ content, brief mention of drugs, fingering, oral (male and female receiving), piv, purely a smutty chapter with some fluff sprinkled throughout, soft!matty!!!!!

series masterlist; previous part; next part

It was the end of another grueling day of classes and avoiding the glares that Harry and Ron sent your way. Surprisingly, Hermione would send you a hesitant smile, turning away when one of the boys admonished her incredulously. You wondered how much she agreed with Harry's isolation of you.

You and Pansy had wondered into the Slytherin common room, smothering your laughter as you entired the quiet sanctuary that lay beneath the lake. You had been welcomed into the den of snakes with little resistance, for no one would dare go against the word of Mattheo Riddle – they all feared his father, and feared him as an extension of that.

You enjoyed the atmosphere of the common room, which was constantly filled with soft chatter and was lit only by fire light, candles and balls of magic that reflected off the glass that separated the common room from the Black Lake. It was peaceful here. A place you found solace, as your common room was now filled with hostility rather than the serenity that it used to bring you.

The boys were sat in the corner of the common room, Enzo and Theo had blunts in their hands, but all five of them were high as kites.

"What are you two ladies giggling at?" Enzo slurs as he invites you both to sit. Pansy slots herself between Blaise and Theo, who wraps an arm around her shoulder whereas you go to sit beside Mattheo, who loops an arm around your waist and guides you to sit in his lap instead, ignoring the teasing words of your friends as you do so.

He seems to be the most sober out of all of them, besides maybe Draco, who instead looks to be on the verge of falling asleep.

"Hey you." you turn your head to look behind you and smile softly at him as Mattheo presses a lingering kiss to your lips.

"Hi love." he says, his voice deliciously raspy. "How were your last few classes?"

"You would know if you deigned to turn up." you say teasingly and he hugs you into his chest with a low laugh.

"Funny." he says. "But this was so much more fun." he motions to the scene in front of the two of you: Enzo was trying to create origami birds with his wand, and was failing miserably.

"He's been trying to do that for the past hour." Mattheo mumbles in your ear, mirth coating his tone. You can hear the smirk in his voice as you both laugh at Enzo's expense.

"Oi!" Enzo whisper shouts from the other sofa, pointing a steady finger to Mattheo accusingly. "You better not be gossiping about me with your girlfriend Matt. Only I can gossip with her."

"'S that so, Enz?" Mattheo replies, smirk evident as he speaks. You flush when he fails to correct Enzo – you were not his girlfriend, no matter how much you ached for the exclusivity.

"Yep. Ain't that right, Meadow?" Enzo's blazed eyes move toward you and you let out a soft laugh as you nod noncommittally at him.

"Of course Enzo." you say and he lets out a cheer that disrupts the quiet of the common room and it makes you laugh harder when Blaise shoves him away as Enzo's flailing arms get too close to his head.

Mattheo grunts from behind you and his grip tightens. Your laughter makes you jostle against him and his restraint can only last so long.

Keep moving against me like that and I'll give you and Enzo something to gossip about. His voice is a growl in your head and your breath hitches as you feel his blatant arousal pressing against the small of your back.

You want me to talk about my sex life with your best mate? Really? He can hear the knowing smile in your voice as you raise a singular brow at him questioningly.

His low growl is answer enough. On second thought. I don't want him to know all our dirty little secrets.

In that case, can we go up to your room? You ask, and you curse how desperate you sound.

He smirks arrogantly.

Lead the way, Princess.

You ignore the quiet jeers from your friends as you stand up with reddening cheeks and drag Mattheo towards the boys' stairs by his hand.

~∞~

As soon as you twist the doorknob and enter the room, Mattheo has you pinned to the wood of the now closed door, hands suspended above your head, held there by one big hand, while the other trails featherlight touches across your face, over your lips and down the expanse of your neck, which is free of blemishes just waiting for him to mark it possessively, like he's been wanting to do all day.

"Gods I want you so badly." he says lowly, brown eyes blown and full of lust. He brings his face close to your's, nose brushing your cheek as he whispers dirty thoughts into your ears that would have you melting into a puddle on the floor, if not for the hold he had on your arms.

I want to ravish you.

Take you against every surface of this room.

And then do it again in the bathroom.

Until all you feel is me.

You whimper softly as you chase his teasing lips with your's and he smirks as he pulls away from you and you glare up at him in the way he adores.

"'S that what you want, sweetheart?" he asks you, his voice velvet and smooth.

"I want you." you say, desperately. "I want you everywhere Mattheo. Now."

"So demanding." he teases. But he takes your breath away with a searing kiss. He smiles into it as you mewl against him and his hand continues its exploration with thorough accuracy, fingers evading the fabric of your skirt and brushing against your panties with ease.

"I love when you wear your ridiculously short skirts." he groans against you. "Gets me all hot and bothered. But you love that, don't you?"

"Yes." you pant as you tilt your head forward and catch his lips in another kiss. You want to reach out and touch him, but his grip is so strong against you, bruises no doubt forming under his hands.

He pushes your underwear to the side and groans at the way his fingers glide against your slick pussy.

"Gods you're soaked, darling. Always so wet for me."

"Please Théo," you whine as he strokes you leisurely, avoiding your clit, much to your dismay. "Touch me."

"I am touching you." he smirks and he outright laughs when you growl your discontent at him.

His thumb brushes against your clit softly, but the motion still has you keening against the wood of the door. He speeds up in ministrations, revelling in the way your pussy practically sings at the attention.

"Gods, you're perfect. So perfect." he says as he circles two fingers against your leaking slit. You moan as he thrusts two fingers into you repeatedly, scissoring you open until your dripping into his palm.

Your orgasm is approaching you embarrassingly fast but you need to feel that release. As his long fingers brush against that spot inside you once again, you practically explode, body sagging into his, head resting against his chest. And he continues to finger you through it, with no intentions of stopping.

"Matty– Please." you whine. "I'm too sensitive."

"Awh." he tuts. "But you need this, darling. You're still so tense." He punctuates his words with a particularly hard thrust that has you keening.

He'll stop if you say the word. But you both need this. And you both have no intention of stopping.

His thrusting fingers are relentless and you're not sure how he hasn't gotten cramp from the position. But your thoughts eddy out of your head with each harsh stroke. Your second orgasm sneaks up on you almost immediately. And he releases your arms in favour of cradling you into his chest as you pant against him.

"That's it." he smoothes a hand through your hair, tucking you into his chest. "Do you feel better now?"

You nod against his chest, but you're still aching for more. It doesn't help at all that his cock is pressing heavily into your abdomen. You can feel the heat of it like its seering into your skin. You look up to find that he's already staring at you so you press your lips to his once again, wrapping your arms around his neck, toying with the hairs on his nape.

When you pull away, his eyes are blown out and hungry as he stares down at you. Wordlessly you begin to kneel before him and he instinctively has your hair wrapped around a fist before your knees have even hit the ground.

Nimble fingers undo his leather belt with practiced grace and his trousers and boxers are pulled down in quick succession. Mattheo's cock stands at attention, jutting out proudly as you lick away the precum that's beading at the tip. He grunts and his fist tightens.

"Now, now," he tuts. "Don't be a tease darling."

"Not fun to be on the receiving end, is it?" you say with a feline grin as you bring a hand to your mouth and spit on it for lubrication before wrapping it around him. Mattheo's cock is thick as well as long and you marvel at his size before licking at the underside with your tongue until he's groaning in abandon.

He uses the grip he has on your hair to maintain control and pushes your head down to the hilt, so that your nose brushes the skin of his pelvis. You gag against him and he groans at the vibrations.

He's practically fucking your face now, moaning your name in earnest as he uses you like a toy. You love every second of it. You're certain that there will be a bruise forming at the back of your throat and you welcome the pain. His orgasm crashes into him and he fists your hair so tight that you whimper.

He pulls out and runs a finger across your reddened cheeks, damp with fallen tears. Mattheo admires the lust still evident in your blown out eyes.

"You truely are insatiable." he smirks as he offers you a hand to help you stand. You take it willingly and allow him to guide you to his bed. "Lie on your back for me love. I'd like to return the favour."

"I thought that's what I just did?" you question with furrowed brows, but you do as he says either way.

"You didn't think I was done with you, did you?" he asks mischievously as he undoes the knot of his emerald-silver tie. You watch, ravenously as he unbuttons his white shirt, but makes no move to remove it, instead he reaches for your blue and bronze tie, skillfully undoing the knot and practically ripping your shirt from your body; skirt, stockings and panties following quickly after. Once you lay naked before him, he removes the constricting fabric of his shirt before tossing it onto the pile of clothes he had just created.

Then he's onto you. Kissing you everywhere and marking any inch of skin his lips find. Slender fingers pinch and twist at hardened nipples and you mewl as he presses kisses along your collarbone. Mattheo takes one of your nipples into his mouth: sucking, biting a nipping at the sensitive bud, before doing the same to the other one.

His grin is devilish as he moves his ministrations further south, to your soaked centre. Pressing kisses to your naval, he uses a finger to trace your slit, which clenches around nothing as he teases you.

"Don't tease." you demand, but it goes ignored as he presses kisses everywhere but to where you want him the most.

You try to enclose his head between your thighs but strong arms push them apart, holding them steady as he finally, finally flicks his tongue against your slit, licking a long streak to your throbbing clit. He moans at the taste of you and the vibrations send pleasure up your spine. You moan his name.

He feasts on you like a man starved. Licking, kissing and sucking at your slick cunt. He will never tire of your taste; he swears its doused in an addictive drug because he cannot get enough. Teeth nip against your clit and you whine, hands fisting his curly hair, fighting to pull him closer or push him away from the overstimulation.

Don't push me away, sweet girl. You let out a wail of a moan as his fingers finally enter you, making you feel full with the size of three of them scissoring you open. His other hand pushes against your stomach, preventing you from jutting your hips in the air; you can only take what he's giving to you.

In no time at all, your release hurtles towards you, and you sob from the overwhelming feeling of pleasure, dragging him closer to your cunt by his hair until you physically cannot bare the oversensitivity any longer. White spots dance across your vision and you don't register as he hovers above you, fingers lightly stroking your face.

"Are you with me, darling?" he asks softly, smiling when he sees the haze lift from your eyes. "There you are."

You turn your gaze to the side to hide the flush in your cheeks, but he already caught it, fingertips tracing the heated skin.

"Can you go for one more, or are you done for the night?" he asks, eyes attentive and focused as he scanned you from head to toe. Your body was washed with hickeys, but somehow it still wasn't enough. He needed to claim you.

"I can go for one more." you say breathlessly. "But, can you start slow, please?"

Your voice is gentle as you look up at him and he doesn't hesitate to agree.

"Of course, love." he mumbles against your lips as he presses his to your mouth. He uses a hand to adjust you so that one of your thighs wraps around his hip, giving him access to press his hardened cock into your still-sensitive slit.

He kisses away your whines as he presses into you slowly, not stopping until his pelvis presses against your's. His kisses are full of reassurance and he doesn't begin to move until you give him the okay.

You mewl at the softness of his thrusts, easing you into a state of pleasant bliss that has you whining for more, for him to go harder. So he does.

His thrusts are slow and deep, hitting every possible spot that brings you pleasure and you're clawing at his back in response. The pain of it causes him to grunt, thrusting even harder into you.

"So good to me." he breathes into your ear, hot breath fanning over your cheek. "My girl."

Your breath stutters as you whimper, wrapping your legs around his hips, pussy tightening with his words as another orgasm is ripped from you. It's the most intense one you've ever felt; you feel euphoric.

"Salazar." he breathes as his thrusts speed up with an uneven pace that lets you know he's close, too. "Gods you're so perfect for me."

He finishes with a deep groan before settling on top of you, softening cock still inside you. Your mind is still hazed with lust but you know that you wouldn't be able to handle another round.

"That was so good." you groan as you wrap yourself around him. He chuckles deeply, voice low and raspy as it always is.

"You're welcome." he snickers as he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. "Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?"

You agree and let him guide you to the bathroom, cursing at him when he laughs harder at your inability to walk on steady legs.

The water from the shower is hot and soothing against your skin and you can't help the lust that overtakes you once again when Mattheo steps in behind you.

So what if you were insatiable for him? You just could not get enough.

~∞~

The two of you are lying in his bed, covers draped over you both. You're clad in nothing but one of his tshirts and a pair of boxers and he's wearing a pair of light grey tracksuit bottoms. One of your legs is draped over his as you lay your head against his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart.

"Did you mean it?" you ask softly, stroking your finger against his firm pectorals.

"Hmm?" he hums, distracted by the way your hair fans out around your head.

"When you said– nevermind." your hesitance makes him frown.

"When I said what?" he questions cautiously, running a hand down your spine, resting on the small of your back.

"It doesn't matter. It's stupid." you say, burying your face into his neck. He smiles down at you.

Everything you say, everything you think matters. Especially to me.

His voice is soothing against your inner turmoil and you let out a long exhale.

"What are we?" you ask, lifting your head up to face him. His eyes are a deep, honeyed brown, softened from the harshness they present to everyone outside of the room.

"We're whatever you want us to be, sweet girl." he mumbles, looking at you through long lashes. "From the moment I called you mine before Christmas, I meant it. You're mine, sweetheart. And I'm your's, in whatever capacity you'll have me."

You smile at him, wide and wild and teeth gleaming and he grins back with equal fervour.

"You're mine?" you ask quietly, lips hovering over his.

"Your's baby." he responds, sealing the promise with a soft kiss.

~∞~

i wrote this at like 2am last night lol and i had so much fun writing this, i just can't get enough of soft matty!!!!

taglist:

(striked out users are ones that i couldn't tag)

@camille-1019 @lovelyygirl8 @xluansstuff @babeylover @thejadeazalea @undercover-smutlover @adhxmoony @dreamingofonceuponatime @thepassionatereader @urmomsgayforme5 @aphroditeisamilf @devotedlycrookeddonut @purplegirls-posts @nofacenonamelikekira @foxboyapologist @lafrone @lovely-maryj @nromanovaswife @leeknows-wife @dracygf @wildlyobserving @ravenclawprincess33 @melllinaa @vellicora @lantsovheiress @emiliahoward @stunkbiggu @vcosette @prongsprincessworld @mattiesgirl @rachmmb @x-kermit-x @sun-fiower-seed @cas-planet @certaindreampost @weirdowithnobeardo @mikalovesicecream @sunasbbie @rainy-darling @faeriepigeons @lovely-blackinnon @hiireadstuff @gimalo135 @elsafromcabinsix @moonlightreader649 @blueshome @nopedefe @spencerreidsthings @navs-bhat @agent-tempest @magimtz23 @y0urm0m12 @sbrn0905 @leona-hawthorne @whatsupb18 @moni-cah @taylorann2013 @unstablereader @gisellesprettylies @nat1221

[fanaticsnail]

Kid-Pirates Masterlist

Navigation Masterlist Here

Eustass Kid:

Shameless (NSFW Series 3/3)

You have a type, one that has been forcefully revealed by your crewmen's incessant nagging. After being ordered to return to your workshop to receive further instruction, you become fully aware of why you have been hidden away from meeting with the captain of the Victoria Punk. He was exactly your type.

"Good Boy" (one-shot)

Eustass Kid didn't know exactly when it happened, but now he craves to be praised by you. He thrives beneath your words, but the one time you didn't call him a "good boy" has him in a bratty rage.

Restrained (NSFW one-shot)

Eustass Kid didn't know what possessed him to allow his lover to restrain him against his Captains' chair. But yet, here he is: stuck and loving it.

Cellist Kid (NSFW drabble)

Your academic rival and you do not get along. You find his boorish intensity revolting, and he finds your attitude standoffish. As your conductor decides to pair you together to practice, tempers flare and passion ignites.

Longing (drabble)

Eustass Kid doesn't know how to behave around you, especially now that he's developed feelings for you.

You're So Much More To Me (NSFW Pollen One-Shot)

Desperate to impress the Straw-Hat botanist as you travel with his unruly bunch of pirates, he goes against your warning and immediately goes into uncharted territory and does the unthinkable.

Told You You'd Like It (NSFW One-Shot)

You suggested something new in the bedroom, and your boyfriend immediately shot it down. You thought that's where the conversation ended, it had now flung from your thoughts never to be thought of by you again. Unbeknownst to you, Eustass Kid was consumed by the thought so much he almost thought on nothing else.

Baby (NSFW One-Shot)

Eustass Kid wants to treat you like he does with all of his other partners. He wants to top you, degrade you, pound into you like a wild animal. But he can't. Not when you give him praise like that. He's far too in love with the pretty words fleeing from your lips to try.

Whatever you wanted (NSFW One-Shot)

For a single night, Eustass Kid gave you permission to do whatever you wanted to him. He was not expecting the direction you took at, nor how needy and desperate to please you in you pleasing him he became. Trust and love between you, you got to have whatever you wanted.

Massacre Soldier Killer:

Will You Let Me? (NSFW Pollen!one-shot)

Your crew was docked at a port, exploring a new land while you requested to remain behind. Enjoying being without the unruly bunch, your momentary calm was disrupted by the staggering step of your superior. Coughs, grunts and stuttering over his words: your concern grew more severe as you offered to help him through it.

Killer Watchdog (One-Shot)

Studying at sea was never an easy feat, especially while travelling under the captainship and serving alongside the unruly crew sailing on the Victoria Punk. As you complete your intensive over Den-Den, you notice the silence and choose to investigate the cause.

Killer Needs You Too (One-Shot)

Killer longs for you as much as you yearn for him.

Heat:

They'll Love You (One-Shot)

Heat is nervous about meeting your friends and fearing their judgement in your choice of lover. You reassure him they'll love you as much as you do.

Vulnerability (NSFW One-Shot)

Two best friends in the quiet of the night, Heat expresses his emotional and intimate encounter with you to Wire. Wire helps his friend understand his experience, and coaches him through his vulnerability while listening to the waves crashing against the Victoria Punk. (No explicit smut, just suggestive)

Art Practice:

Sketch, pencil

Side Profile, digital

Wire:

Lying down, digital

Heat as a child, digital

Stolen Moment (One-Shot)

Too much time had passed between the rare moments you and your partner found for one another. You both decide to rectify that by doing something as simple as sharing the same Crowsnest and painting your lover's fingernails.

Misc and Multiples:

Kiss their cheek (Drabble one-shot)

It was a simple reaction, an impulse you felt organic and out of your control. Their cheek was right there, and the swell in your chest and spike of adrenaline prompted you to lunge forward and capture their cheek beneath your lips. How do they react to such a soft touch? Do they shy away, or do they respond in kind? Sanji, Zoro, Luffy, Law, Kid

How They Kiss (drabble)

Four different kisses with all of your favourites. Where would you place them in these categories?

You Shot a Baby? Sweet Baby Boy (Dialogue + Drabble)

Benn Beckman shot Eustass Kid's arm off. You are not happy about it.

Dreaming of You (NSFW Drabble)

They couldn't help it. You looked so heavenly in their dreams. The way they had you wrapped around their body as a marionette in their minds, dancing for them as they awoke to sticky blankets when they jolted upright. Their thoughts got the better of them, and they are wracked with guilt. Kid, Killer, Heat

Competency, Stupidity, Duality (one-shot)

They can't help what attracted them to you. No matter what you did, they simply couldn't get enough of you. Their emotions finally catch up with them, and they confess their adoration for you. Kid, Zoro, Killer.

Acid, Salt, Fat and Heat (NSFW One-Shot)

Your captain has engaged with a petulant challenge that included refusing to make port until both Kid and Law did first. Feeling pent up at sea, you set your sights on the blonde first mate to aid you in finding relief. The catch? He won't unless his captain does too. Kid x afab!reader x Killer

Laundromat (NSFW One-Shot)

You're folding clothes in the laundromat and a needy captain Kid decides to enjoy you on the benchtop. Kid x afab!reader x Killer

Wearing Their Shirts (Mini-Fic)

What wearing Kid and Killer's shirts is like.

It won't fit (NSFW One-Shot)

The four commanders of the Victoria Punk were large in size, in every way. Eyes finally catching what goes on below their hemlines, you're brought to terms with the fact that it would be difficult to fit. Kid, Killer, Heat, Wire

Hey Doc (Series)

You are the medical practitioner aboard the Victoria Punk. You are overworked, exhausted, underpaid, but so loved and appreciated. The crew seeks you out for everything that ails them. The Straw-Hats adore you, the Heart-Pirates pity you, your own crew fears you sometimes.

[disruptingtheden-au]

The Intro

They're all open for asks! Rules can be found here!

→ Next

[crazy-pe3p]

sketched up a pfp and banner for that au/blog i mentioned yesterday....

i'm definitely gonna probably do it!! i just need some time to figure out some details haha... might end up making stuff up on the way

wanted to drop these now cus idk how long it's gonna take and i dont want to spoil anything via dropping doodles in the meantime

i WILL say that this probably isn't gonna stay as the final- don't really like the pfp and the banner could use more work....

also!! will start tagging it as "disrupting the den" (best name i could come up with. honestly anything BUT "invading the bunker") on both my own posts AND the future blog :3

feel free to send asks or wtv about the au in the meantime...

[faustiantales]

𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖚𝖗𝖊

Dark Descent: Laito Sakamaki X fem/afab!Reader

Twisted Truths: incest, underaged sexual activities, female-led relationship/femdom, fellatio, biting/blood-sucking, edging, masturbation, vaginal penetration, overstimulation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, pet names

Synopsis: In the middle of playing the piano, Laito was disrupted by his little sister's sudden arrival. From her behavior alone, he knew what she wanted: to play a little game with a valuable prize.

Shadows Lengthen: 7k words

Soft melodies echoed inside the spacious room as a lone grand piano situated in the heart of the musical den. The player was a handsome redhead, his slender fingers glided across the ebony black and ivory white keys. The sound it produced gave him a warm sensation. Soon, a sly smirk adorned his thin lips. He continued the piece, fully aware of the new presence in the vicinity.

"Nii-san~" 

A sultry voice called out. The male knew whose tender voice belonged. The way that the mysterious person leaned against his back was a clear giveaway of their identity. He opened his eyes, revealing emerald orbs glowing brightly. A set of breasts was tightly pressed against his back. The person's arms were wrapped around his neck, their small hands roamed his body.

"Ufufu~"

He let out a short chuckle—the one he was known for making this noise. He could feel aroused by the sensual touch. He allowed himself to emit a moan, making the woman smirk triumphantly. And almost immediately, he halted his performance. After all, the signs are clear—His vixen wants his attention.

"Nii-san~ Will you indulge your sweet, little sister today~?"

She purred seductively against his ear, jade hues lit up from underneath her half-lidded eyes. Her hot breath fanned his earlobe as she pressed her entire body even further as possible, closing the distance between them. The deviant vampire shuddered in excitement at his sister's advances.

"Ufufu~ Can't wait to taste your dear brother once again, Little Vixen?"

Laito grasped her hand that was on his torso while the other landed on her lavender locks, patting it gently. The female let out a satisfied hum, indicating the answer to his query. A moment of peace was shared between them before the younger decided to pull away. Her heels clicked loudly against the marble floor as she made her way around the redhead.

"Let's play a game, Nii-san~"

The vampire princess declared, stopping in front of her full-blooded older brother. Forest-green irises clashed against each other in a fiery stare. Their lips donned the identical smirk known in their family. [Name] had one arm under her chest, lifting her breast to entice the male. While her other arm rested on her opposite side, hugging the curves of her body. The sight alone is enough to make anyone aroused, but Laito knows that he has to hold his desires in.

"What would that be, Little Vixen?"

He inquired, reaching out his arms to get a hold on both her waist. The purple-haired didn't oppose her brother's touch as he pulled her body close and seated her on his lap. Laito made sure that their bodies were as close as possible; and of course, he also made sure that their nether regions aligned properly against each other. [Name] removed both of her arms against herself and idly placed them on his shoulders, her slender fingers playing with his silky, ochre locks. Her lovely breasts were squeezed against her brother's chest.

Laito narrowed his eyes at his sister, the smirk nevertheless present on his handsome face. His hands traveled along the curves of her body before settling on her fleshy buttons. Despite the lack of words that transpired between them, their gazes still hadn't left each other as they roamed each other's bodies. This occurrence is some sort of foreplay for them, but instead of an exchange of pleasure, it is considered as their competition to determine the better player.

[Name]'s hand swiftly stole the male's favorite fedora and perched it on top of her head. Her smirk widened after witnessing the slight frown present on his face. It was subtle, but she could notice it perfectly. Her fingers returned to their original place and resumed her ministration with his hair. Laito, however, doesn't seem quite delighted with the act.

"Ah!"

Laito earned himself a yelp from the female vampire when he pinched her ass hard. He grinned smugly at his small victory, despite the glare his sister was giving him. Oh, how much he loves gaining an advantage over her and watching her break under his dominance. This isn't the first time they did the taboo, and surely, it won't be the last. Morals have no ground in their wretched family, nor does it stop them from ever committing incest. After all, they are a family of vampires—a family that has lust and desire as their foundation.

"Ufufu~ You smell so delectable, Little Vixen. Are you perhaps turned on for me?"

The redhead let out his signature laugh, sniffing her exposed neck and licking it after. Laito removed his hand from the curves of her body and proceeded to untie her school ribbon, exposing more of her tasty skin for him to feast on. [Name] let out a satisfied sigh, clearly enjoying the pleasure she was receiving. She leaned her head back to make it easier for him to access her sweet spot. In a minute, the redhead had already littered hickeys all over her neck and collarbone. He paused for a while to admire his work, then he drew out his sharpened fangs and bit on her skin.

The princess quietly moaned out, fluttering her lids close to savor the sensation. She loved the feeling of being bitten by her brothers, especially Laito. Though, she would never admit it to anyone; it would damage her pride and reputation as the vampire princess who dominates over her brothers. A smirk tugged at his lips as he continued drinking her blood, his chest vibrated as he let out an amused chuckle whilst viridian orbs glowed with every sip he took.

For what seemed like forever, the redhead eventually pulled away. He lapped the dripping blood that oozed out from the bite marks he had created, licking the wound to ensure the healing process. Finally gaining control over her senses, [Name] opened her eyes and faced her brother. The first thing she noticed was the blood flowing from the corner of Laito's lips down to his chin. His eyes met hers and they soon focused on her soft lips. The female seductively licked her upper lip before diving in for a heated kiss.

Laito, of course, returned the aggression with his own. [Name] bit his lower lip and he inclined to obey her wordless command. He opened his lips slightly and instantly, she slipped her fleshy appendage inside his wet cavern. Their tongues engaged in an intense fight for dominance, which the brother successfully won. He smirked in the kiss once the purple-haired sister let out an annoyed grunt. And almost immediately, his gaze met with her heated glare. His hands found their way back to her curves while hers continued playing with his hair, tugging at his ochre locks to release her frustrations.

To add more fervor to their make-out session, the redhead decided that it was time to roughly step up his game. His slim appendages flitted from her upper body down to her thighs, rubbing circles and caressing her delicate skin. He then started to grind against her womanhood, making the girl moan out in utter pleasure. Seeing this as his chance, his finger snaked under her school skirt and got a hold of her underwear.

Before he can rip it apart, however, [Name]'s hands immediately seize him in an iron grip. She broke the kiss between them as well. Laito looked surprised for a moment, before regaining his normal composure and expression. He would admit, he loved his sister's feisty side.

"To answer your earlier inquiry, dear brother—no. I am not turned on for you. At least, not yet. And as for the game, here it is."

[Name] stood up from the redhead and backed away from him. His emerald orbs intently watched as the girl made her way over to the grand piano, a sway of her hips with every step she took. Her fingers brushed against the keys before removing the lid prop and pushing down the cover. A smirk adorned her pink lips as she hauled herself up and settled on top of the instrument. There, on the grand piano, sat a lavender-tressed vampire princess. Her legs dangle from the side, her hands propped up to support her leaning upper body. Her smirk widened after seeing Laito's hungry gaze on her slightly exposed collarbone, a strew of love bites present on her soft skin.

"This game is quite difficult, you see because you need extreme focus and concentration. First, I want you to play a classical piece on this piano. However, there's a twist; while you play, your attention must be on me only as I masturbate in front of you. Surely, you wouldn't question why I situated myself here, would you?"

"Of course not, Little Vixen."

"Good. Though of course, you won't be able to completely enjoy the performance I have for you. Because if you miss even a single note, there'll be punishment awaiting~"

Her emerald eyes glowed a dangerous amount, mischief and sadism evident in those pools of hers. Laito knew that she rarely got herself this aroused and serious at the same time. Most of the time, she would resort to flimsy BDSM with him to satisfy her cravings. But now, it's like she wanted to reassert her dominance and remind him of who he should bow down to.

"For every note you miss, it will equal the number of minutes you'll be experiencing for the punishment. This punishment, however, will serve as another game. But don't worry, after the punishment—if you've successfully passed it—I've prepared a reward for you."

Laito's cat-like eyes keenly followed her body movement. [Name] shifted around to position herself properly on the grand piano, her soaking womanhood on display for the vampire of lust to enjoy. She spread her legs wider, enabling the male to have a full view of her sex. A satiated giggle escaped her tender lips after witnessing the bulge on her brother's tight pants. She knew all too well how to tease the male and force him to give in to her desires.

"My, my~ Are you perhaps turned on for me, Nii-san~?"

She imitated his earlier statement in a mock fashion. To further excite the male, her fingers glided across the curves of her body before setting themselves on her breasts. Laito's involuntary lick on the lips didn't slip from her watchful emerald orbs. Slowly, as if teasingly, her delicate fingers removed the buttons on her uniform. One by one. The sluggish—almost agonizing—act his sister decided to perform was not helping his situation. He wanted to give in to his overwhelming desire. He wanted to ravish her right then and there. He wanted to fuck her so bad.

The purple-haired princess, however, continued her ministration, unperturbed by his forest-green irises that glowed with a dangerous glint. His fist was clenched tight to restrain himself from acting impulsively. Oh, how much effect she had on her brothers, especially Laito. She knew all too well about her older brother's affair with their dear mother. And she also knew how many characteristics she inherited from the woman, most notably, their appearance.

To say that she bore slight hatred towards her mother is such an understatement. No—she scorns the woman. After all, the bitch was the sole reason her brothers were like this—that she became like this. [Name] and Laito were Cordelia's primary toys for pleasure. The female Sakamaki would be under the first wife's mercy as she would force random men on the poor girl, watching as her daughter writhed in pain and pleasure. Cordelia loved breaking her only daughter's sanity; her childhood consisted of day-to-day torture and sexual assault. She made sure that lust and desire would engrave themselves on the youth's soul, reminding the child that her whole existence was just a plaything to others.

The female eventually halted her act, leaving the remaining buttons sealed just below her breast. Laito instantly inhaled the sweet scent coming from the vampire princess—the delicious aroma that only she could produce. It was tantalizing and addictive just like a drug. And along this is her equally luscious blood that the brothers crave so much for. After all, she is their poison.

"Oooh~ Aah~ It feel so good~ Nii-san~"

She moaned out, her left hand gently massaging her breast while the other slides across her slits. Laito snapped from his reverie, his eyes falling onto the female's lewd expression right away. Her wanton cries resonated throughout the expansive room. [Name] had her lids closed as she continued her act. The fedora that once rested on her lavender tresses gently fell on the marble floor when she tilted her head back from the pleasure.

Laito smirked. He briskly got up from his seat on the piano chair and made his way toward the fallen headpiece. Once he got ahold of his possession, he returned it to its original spot on his head, tipping the fedora upward to eye his sister. He licked his lips before feasting on her mouth. His slender hand rested itself on her cheek while the other caressed her silky purple locks. [Name]'s moans were muffled due to the passionate kiss they shared. In a moment, the older pulled away. Their emerald orbs stared at each other.

"Nfufu~ Don't you think that it's unfair to get a headstart right away, Little Vixen? You're making me aroused even more. My~ Surely, I won't be able to focus now that you've prepared an exciting performance, dear sister~"

The redhead stated, chuckling as he returned to his seat. However, the vampire princess remained silent and fluttered her eyelids close, resuming her act. With his gaze fixated only on his beautiful lewd sister, his finger pressed down on the piano keys. The music came in shortly after, its gentle tunes harmonizing with the lavender-haired's soft moans. The way that the notes weaved themselves with her voice and the effortless movement of her slim appendages to pleasure herself often made Laito briefly forget about his current task. He had already missed five notes despite the music piece being only a quarter through the entire composition.

[Name] decided to up her game once the male entered the halfway point in the piano piece, moving aside her silk panties as two of her fingers entered her wet cavern. She let out a loud moan, feeling her insides being partially filled with her slim appendages. Her other hand roughly pinched her sensitive nipples, causing electricity to course through her whole being that enabled liquids to flow more from her entrance.

Fast then slow. Rough then gentle. The lavender-haired female played with herself in sync with the rhythm of the music. Her delicious juices overflowed with some already dripping down to the keys. Sweat covered her whole face and exposed her breasts. Her parted mouth produces soft pants and wanton moans are dripping with saliva down to her chin. [Name] finally opened her lids, bright jade locking with gleaming hunter-green ones. For the entirety of the hour, Laito never leaves his gaze on her mess and still manages to perform the piece without any mistakes.

The music was now coming to an end; with only a few more notes to press before Laito could finally relax and enjoy the sight. However, [Name] had something devious planned out to break his streak and lose his concentration. Her irises glowed dangerously bright as she focused on her power—allurement. She noticed that the redhead's eyes dimmed and appeared distant as if he was in a trance. Despite this, his hands moved automatically on the keys. The princess knew much about this. Muscle memory—it seems.

A smirk adorned her lips, causing the male to lose his composure and miss another two notes. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, eyes narrowing at her. She let out an amused chuckle, witnessing the indignation in her brother's expression for a few seconds before being replaced by his usual facade. At last, the music had come to an end and they both halted their actions.

"That's extremely unfair, Little Vixen. I wanted to punish you so badly due to that naughty behavior of yours. Nfufu~"

Laito whined out, his thin eyebrows furrowing to indicate his displeasure with the act. He stood up from his seat and stalked towards her. The amused smile never left [Name]'s face while watching her brother's movement. He stopped in front of her, his keen eyes scanning the mess she had inflicted on herself. He inadvertently licked his lips at the outcome, before diving into her face for another kiss. The female allowed the redhead to do so, meeting his soft lips in a passionate make-out session. This lasted for a few minutes when the younger pulled away.

"You're very funny, dear brother. Firstly, you sounded like Reiji-nii. Secondly, I should be the one punishing you. And lastly, you're enjoying it, don't you? Admit it, Nii-san."

She casually stated, her hand finding its way to Laito's pale cheeks and caressing it after. The fedora-wearing male leaned into her touch, his hand placed on top of hers. He let his eyes close as he gently grasped her hand, moving it to his lips and planting soft kisses. Oh, how much he loved showering his sister with so much affection. If only he could have his way unto her right away.

"Dear brother, let's proceed to the punishment, shall we?"

The redhead begrudgingly obeyed, removing his hand from hers. [Name] hopped off the grand piano as Laito took a step back, her perfect breasts bouncing teasingly. Her slender hands glided across her brother's figure, feeling every curve and bump of his muscle underneath the uniform. In a moment, she gestured him to sit on the piano stool—the same seat he was previously situated. The male complied patiently, remaining silent whilst his cat-like gaze lingered on her delectable body.

"For your punishment, let me explain it. Since you've missed seven notes, you have to endure seven minutes of punishment. I did say that a note is equal to a minute. For this game, you will have to survive without cumming as I give you a blowjob for seven minutes. However, you cannot interrupt me such as moving my head whenever you please. I'm the only one who will decide whatever, and you have no permission to do so. You only have to sit back and enjoy. Though, if I taste even a bit of cum, you'll automatically lose and will have another punishment waiting. Is that clear​​​​​​?"

Laito could feel her authoritative gaze boring through his body and that gave him goosebumps. He deeply loved the female's unquestionable authority and dominance over them, and he yearned for her sadistic method of engraving those in their body. No one—not even Shu nor Reiji—ever defies her command. Because for them, [Name] is the only one they are willing to become a slave for.

"Yes, Little Vixen."

"Good. Now, let's see if you can enjoy the overwhelming pleasure~"

Her emerald orbs glowed with a glint of sadism and mischief. The female slowly got on her knees, facing her brother's bulging manhood entrapped within the confines of his pants. She placed her hands on both of his thighs, giving them a soothing rub before making their way to his nether region. Laito moaned out once her delicate appendage was pressed on his cock, slowly massaging as if to tease him. Her other hand continued to play with his belt strap and roamed up and down his legs. [Name] glanced up to examine her brother's reaction only to see his eyes closed in pleasure and head tilted back. She smirked.

After a minute of slow pleasure, the vampire princess decided to move on to the main course. She first peppered quick kisses on his manhood and thighs, sinking her fangs into the skin near his shaft and producing two holes in the fabric. Laito's breath hitched at her unexpected act, making him more aroused than ever. Retracting her fang out, she uses the sharp teeth to rip the pants apart, enabling her access to the flawless porcelain skin underneath. She hungrily licked her lips at the mark she had made, crimson blood leaking from the wound. She hurriedly lapped the flowing liquid before reentering her fang in its original hole and drawing out more of her brother's delicious blood.

Her brother let out a lengthy moan at her ministration, his whole body shivering with excitement and anticipation. At last, the female pulled away and admired her work with a red hue smeared across her cheeks. She instantly licked the dripping blood up to its opening, sealing the action with a quick kiss on his skin. [Name] proceeded to unbuckle the belt strap whilst her piercing emerald eyes seductively stared at Laito's face. The aforementioned male locked his gaze with her, watching as her hands did the job.

It didn't take the young woman a minute when she removed the belt and unzipped the pants. She moved her brother's boxer down and let his shaft free from its confines. Laito's manhood sprung from the underwear, almost hitting his sister in the face. He noticed that the lavender-haired's gaze was fixated on his throbbing sex, precum already decorated along his length. He frowned at the scene. Surely, this isn't included in the seven minutes.

"My, my, Nii-san~ Are you that excited? This won't do. I have to clean you up before the seven minutes starts~"

[Name] giggled childishly, nearing her face to his cock, and licked the dripping white liquid. The redhead moaned as her tongue traveled up toward his hole, lapping away all the precum while lubricating his shaft with her saliva. Once she reached the tip, she inserted his whole penis into her mouth. The male unwittingly gasped at the sensation. The female let her tongue roam around his length before letting go. She swallowed the salty precum and licked her lips proudly, gazing at the now clean member.

"Now, let's start the main event~"

She once again, let out a giggle as she dove into his dick. [Name] first teased the male by licking only his hole. Laito grunted in pleasure while his body shuddered. A smirk played upon the lavender-haired vampire when she decided to lick his whole shaft next. Her left hand proceeded to fondle his balls while her other hand inserted two fingers into her sex.

After lubricating Laito with her saliva, the female vampire then took in his whole length, deep-throating him. Her head bobbed with every movement, trying to cover most of his cock in her mouth. She could feel his tip against the back of her mouth due to her rough thrusts. She didn't mind though; she just had to make sure she won't gag during the whole seven minutes. [Name] produced a lengthy moan once she thrust her fingers deep into her cunt which turned to vibrations with her brother's dick still in her mouth. Along with the pressure of her blowjob, this brought immense pleasure to the male. But he held the need to release.

Fast then slow. Rough then gentle. The female vampire repeated the same method that she used to pleasure herself prior. Soft pants escaped Laito's parted lips and resonated throughout the musical den. Sweat appeared on his handsome face as the minutes passed by, creating a perfect image of the devilishly sexy vampire of lust. His grip on the piano stool was tight due to the continuous pleasure and restrained release from the build-up, causing the wood to crack under his strength. Purple locks fell from [Name]'s intricately styled braid and onto her beautiful face as she constantly bobbed her head.

After a minute of sucking her brother's dick, the princess decided to tease him next. [Name] withdrew her head from his cock with a pop. She halted her actions of pleasing herself and instead admired Laito's throbbing sex, his veins popping along his length. The redhead drew in a breath once the crisp breeze blew past his manhood, making him shudder once again. He finally opened his eyes and peered at his sister with a half-lidded expression, the sweat on his face decorated his image perfectly. Both emerald jewels stared intently at each other.

[Name] could feel her dead heart skipping a beat just from that sight alone. Red smeared across both of their faces, their synchronized pants are like music to their ears. In a moment, the female's slim hand grasped Laito's shaft and gave it a slight squeeze. This earned her a mewl coming from him and she smirked smugly. She began her teasing by pumping his sex in a rather slow—almost painfully—motion. She continued her ministration; stroking him while her gleaming hues stared at his lewd expression.

"Are you quite enjoying yourself, Nii-san?"

[Name] let out an amused yet derisive chuckle. Laito could only glare at her in response, seeing that his mouth was busy producing wanton pants and soft mewls. After pumping his hardened member for another second, the lavender-tressed vampire then dove her face down unto him once again. This time, however, she swirled her tongue around the head for a few seconds, alternating between up and down and all around.

For the entirety of her act, [Name]'s gaze never left her brother's. She made sure to make eye contact with him, even though the redhead kept closing his eyelids frequently or tilting his head back from the overwhelming surge of pleasure. Purple locks were dangling freely in front of her face while others were stuck on her sweat-filled skin. Yet, despite this obscuring her vision, the vampire princess didn't let it hinder her as she executed devilishly provocative eye contact with her beloved brother. Laito could feel his skin getting goosebumps just from staring into her mesmerizing jade hues. "A-ah~!"

Laito, who had been keeping his voice down from ever producing loud noises, involuntary let out a pleasure-filled scream, arching his body and tilting his head back. A smirk played upon his dearest sister's face as she continued what she was doing—gliding her fangs lightly up and down his shaft, giving him a tingly feeling. She took notice of the male's serrated breathing, clearly becoming drained from keeping up with his punishment and controlling himself not to release. She giggled, taking her brother's cock in her mouth once again. Only this time, there'll be no more teasing—only pleasure.

The vampire princess bobbed her head at an inhumane speed, her lavender tresses going astray from the intricately styled braid. Her left hand fondled his balls at the same time, her speed never going down even a bit. She made sure that she goes deep, the tip of his member repeatedly poking at the back of her mouth whilst her remaining appendage stroked the area where she can't reach. Laito's moans increased in volume and quantity, feeling completely obliterated by the continuous strew of immense pleasure.

The piano stool he sat on broke even further; its sharp-edged splinters dug deep into the redhead's pale skin, red liquid trickling down from his wounds. He harshly bit his bottom lip, once again drawing out blood. Laito never felt this much pleasure before, and yet, he was already addicted to it. His whole body trembled with beads of sweat rolling down across all parts of his exposed skin. He never thought that restraining his need to release would instead bring forth even more pleasure from the build-up. "A-ah~! More~! More~! Take me even further~ Little Vixen~!"

The way that Laito moaned out the girl's favored pet name made her speed up. Liquids were already flowing out from her entrance, pooling down her thighs and staining the marble floor with her womanly juices. Her nipples were already hard and perky as her breasts bounced with every movement. She moved her hand away from her brother's member and inserted three fingers inside her cunt whilst her thumb rubbed circles on her clit vigorously.

Both of them knew that the time was almost up, and hence the reason why the vampire princess decided to halt her teasing. As much as she enjoyed tormenting her dear brother, she wanted him to lose this punishment so she could conduct further abuse to him and his body. Ah~ Just the thought of Laito writhing in both pain and pleasure underneath her is making her aroused. She loved seeing her brothers squirming in the palms of her extreme dominance—their various reactions and expressions when she played with them were endearing.

Time seemed to slow down for both of them. Laito's cock was throbbing uncontrollably inside the female's mouth whilst she continued her ministration. They knew about what was to come, quite literally. [Name] hastened her pace and let her fingers thrust deeper inside of her, feeling her orgasm building up. For the poor redhead, he had to maintain his composure and hold on to the need to release. Loud pants and mewls echoed around the spacious music room, enveloping the two residents with their wanton noises. The vampire princess could feel her energy leaving almost immediately; her actions—caused by fatigue—becoming sloppy and slow.

Minutes passed by. Then seconds. There is only a small gap of time left before the punishment finishes. Fueled by determination, [Name] resumed her vigorous action as adrenaline pumped through her veins. Laito, who was faring well to restrain himself prior, drew in a sharp breath from the newfound energy his sister accumulated. He gritted his teeth in annoyance and tightly shut his eyes as another wave of extreme pleasure washed through his entire body.

Ten... Nine... Eight... Seven... Six... Five... Four... Three... Two... One...

"AAAH~!"

They both screamed at the same time in complete bliss. Laito had his head leaned backward and eyes rolled at his release. His fedora was long gone from his head and was now discarded and forgotten on the marble floor below. [Name] had already removed her head from her brother's cock and rested against his thigh. Their bodies quaked from the high they just reached not too long ago, the remnants of their orgasm lingered still in them, making them efficiently sensitive.

Juices squirted out from the female's core, pooling down her thighs and staining more of the marble. Her whole face was covered in sweat as random strands of hair stuck on her skin. The slim fingers she had used to pleasure herself were coated with her liquid, the appendage was lying on the cold floor tiredly. [Name] had trouble keeping her eyes open and soon fluttered close, trying her very best to regain her breath from the strenuous activity.

Once Laito had calmed down from his climax, he let his eyes wander upon his exhausted sister. He smiled, removing his injured hand from the stool, and gently patted her soft tresses. His member was still throbbing as cum squirted out his hole while some dripped down from the sides. He knew he had successfully passed the punishment—after all, he came a second after the designated time. It was quite challenging if he were to admit it. Nevertheless, he enjoyed the entirety of their time and is now excited about his reward.

They both took a few moments to regain their energy to continue with the next event. [Name] carefully stood up from the ground, unvexed by the mess all over her body—wrinkled and stained uniform, legs dripping with her cum, sweaty exposed skin, and disheveled hair. She had a half-lidded expression on as she faced her brother, a small delighted smile soon present on her face. Laito also stood up from his seat, taking a few steps towards the female and then wrapping his slender arms around her figure.

The siblings shared an embrace for a few seconds before the redhead pulled back, still keeping a proximity between them. They stared into each other's eyes, observing their reflection in the pools of their beloved. Laito used his right hand to caress his sister's cheek, leaning into her face after for another passionate kiss. [Name] eagerly returned the kiss with equal passion, her hands finding themselves in his ochre locks once again. They both shared the intimate moment before pulling back, a string of saliva connecting their mouths.

"I can't believe that you were able to pull through, Nii-san."

"Ufufu~ Of course,​ Little Vixen. I'm your brother, after all."

[Name] could feel the vibrations from Laito's low chuckle. He had pressed his body close to her, resting his face against the crook of her neck to inhale the sweet, forbidden fragrance. The lavender-haired princess adjusted her head to the side, flitting her lids closed as she savored every moment. Her brother's hardened cock squeezed tight in between their heated body, just by her abdomen. Once again, the female could feel her arousal return. A smirk displayed upon the redhead's lips, his hot breath fanning against his sister's flawless skin.

"I do believe that I earned a prize, dear sister~"

"Of course, of course~ I won't forget about that, brother dear."

[Name] chuckled lightheartedly. She shifted her right hand from his silky tresses to his pale face, guiding his head up to face her. The two both locked gazes, green reflected in each of their pools. Soon, both of her hands found their way unto her brother's arms, once again guiding his appendages towards her fleshy ass. Laito didn't hesitate to squeeze her bottom, his left hand sneakily inching toward her hole.

"How about this? As your reward, I belong to you for the entirety of the day—you can do anything you want to me; make me your plaything. After all, it is very rare for me to become one's possession. Make me yours. Assert the dominance that you had hidden for so long."

She pulled her brother closer to her, leveling her wet core on top of the redhead's throbbing manhood. Her delicate, exposed breasts were pressed tightly against his broad chest. With Laito's hands still on her ass, she gently lifted both of her legs and wrapped them around her brother's waist. The redhead instantly knew the gesture, and whilst carrying her weight, a smirk played upon his face at her invitation. He took a step forward until they were pressed against the piano. The older carefully placed the princess on the piano keys, unperturbed by the cacophony of notes being emitted. He doesn't care about anything else. As long as he can have his way with his lovely sister, he couldn't ask for more.

The girl pulled her brother's head forward, and both of her hands found their way back to weave into his ochre locks. Once the boy was leaning against her neck, he inhaled her sweet aroma excitedly, letting out his tongue to taste her skin. [Name] smirked, inching her mouth towards his ear as she whispered the magic words, her pink lips moving along as she spoke.

"Fuck me until I break."

"With pleasure~"

Without any warning, Laito bit into his sister. This made the girl let out an unstrained moan with pink dusting her cheeks. Smirking into her skin, the vampire continued his act while he moved his pelvis back. After aligning his throbbing member with the female's entrance, the redhead didn't hesitate to pound right in. [Name] mewled out his name with such eros, her lids immediately shutting close to further heighten her other senses. 

Skin slapping skin and their wonderful moans were the only melody reverberating inside the musical abode. Laito aggressively thrust inside his beloved sister, lifting her legs in the proceedings for deeper access. A lone moan escaped his lips at that, feeling her pussy sucking his dick more and more inside.

"Little Vixen~ You're tight."

The crimson-haired male teased, his hands sliding up and down her thighs; slowly, but surely increasing his pace. His movements were forceful and demanding at the same time, causing her to buck her hips back in a reflexive reaction. Her grip tightened around his shoulder blades.

"More, Nii-san, more! Faster, please...!"

His title rolled off her tongue so smoothly and seductively, as though it was a secret that they would be alone together forever. Just hearing her sultry voice moaning out the role predestined to him that reminded him of their taboo relationship caused his member to stiffen inside of her, his sister's warmth enveloping him deeply.

"Your wish is my command, princess~"

Laito quickly picked up speed as he continued to pump in and out of his sister. His hard length slammed into her slick passage with no hesitation or mercy, and as she felt his strong rhythm driving right deep inside her, her heart fluttered wildly in excitement. She clung onto him even tighter, the tip of her nails digging painfully into his flesh. Laito growled, his voice filled with lust and satisfaction.

"Ah, I am going to cum soon. Prepare yourself for my load, Little Vixen~"

"Mhm~"

Laito increased his pace even more and her walls rubbed against his dick with each thrust. The blood pumping inside him grew faster and more impatient, wanting nothing more than to explode in his beloved sister's sweet, wetness. He felt himself nearing the edge and his desire grew even stronger. He knew that she would also be close behind. To prolong their pleasure, he decided to use his left hand to grasp hold of her breast.

The young man started kneading her tender flesh softly with his thumb, squeezing the hard nub lightly. [Name] gasped, her eyes shooting open as the sensations overwhelmed her. The younger sibling released a high-pitched whine and arched her back, her nails digging deeper and harder into his muscular back, drawing blood through the fabric. Laito smirked evilly at the sound that escaped his beloved sister's lips. His other hand swiftly reached underneath her shirt, his fingers groping her smooth stomach. [Name]'s back trembled violently as her sensitive nipples were roughly squeezed, eliciting a loud cry from her throat.

"Nii-san... Ah!"

The princess cried out, unable to control herself. Her body stiffened and she clenched her buttocks tightly as he fucked her. She screamed and panted uncontrollably, the knot in her stomach came undone and pleasure overwhelmed her system. Yet, despite her wanton cries and convulsing body from the high, the red-haired teen continued ramming into her, enjoying the way she squeezed him inside.

"That's good... Cum for me, my darling sister~ Let yourself come undone, for it will just be the start~"

Laito spoke with a dark and husky tone as he pumped in and out of his beloved sister, enjoying every second of the exquisite sensation coursing through his body. His left hand gripped her hip as he lifted her leg to hook on his shoulder, allowing for deeper access as he mercilessly slammed against her repeatedly. [Name] could feel Laito's cock rubbing against her cervix. It was not painful, but rather pleasurable and satisfying. She writhed under him, her hips moving erratically against his hand. Laito was breathing heavily, almost panting like he was running a race, his face a bright shade of red. His mind was foggy and hazy with ecstasy; he was beyond himself. 

"Oh, fuck...!"

A loud grunt escaped from his lips as he finally came undone. He lost himself in her warmth and the scent of her perfume. [Name] followed suit shortly afterward, feeling herself releasing again just a few minutes after her first orgasm. The redhead remained on top of her, continuing to thrust deeply inside his beloved, not showing any signs of stopping.

"More! Make a mess out of me, Nii-san!"

The female demanded as she tugged his hair. Laito complied, pressing his lips on her neck before trailing kisses up towards her jawline. He peppered soft, gentle kisses all over her face; his hands roamed up her sides and then towards her ass, gripping the curves delicately. The female squirmed against her brother's touch, feeling his shaft pound her without holding back. She opened her eyes slightly. The room was shrouded in darkness, except for the dim lighting from the moon outside and the small lights embedded in the ceiling. She watched as her brother's eyes were filled with lust and desire, his gaze fixed solely on hers.

"My beautiful little sister. My dearest sibling. Let me fuck you until dawn breaks."

"Of course, Nii-san~"

The purple-haired vampire princess breathed out, her entire face flushed with pleasure and eyes clouded with nothing else but lust. The redhead smiled, giving another harsh thrust inside his sister, sending ripples of pleasure throughout his body. Laito was already at his limit. The intense pounding he did earlier must've taken a toll on him. Still, his desires burned brighter than ever, and he couldn't help it. Every fiber of his being was telling him to fuck [Name] till sunrise.

The two lovers go on with their forbidden activity for several hours, and each time that they reach their climaxes, their salacious moans and wanton cries become louder and unrestrained. Even when some of the brothers decided to investigate the music room, they didn't stop. They just continued with an unexpected audience, minding their own business while providing a show for the remaining brothers to watch with envy. Of course, the others were enraged by this scandalous behavior—Reiji and Subaru for example—but none of them tried to stop them. After all, it was their dear [Name] they were dealing with here. For all they know, this might be one of her desires.

And unfortunately, even when they tried to leave, they couldn't. Their body was frozen and was unable to move, their undivided attention was on the siblings as their different colored eyes were wide open. Some of them gulp, some of them grit their teeth, and some shout profanities due to this unusual occurrence. [Name] opened her eyes once again, now meeting gazes with her other beloved brothers. Once her emerald hues caught their eyes, her pools glowed a dangerous glint. She narrowed her eyes, her gaze boring into each of them. Alas... only one word from the precious vampire princess was enough to make them submit to her demands.

"Stay."

📜— Return to the Shadowed Archive

[dovabunny]

Angsty Ghostsoap Idea of the Day - Not Soap anymore

Cw: angst, misunderstanding

Soap was so sure his heart was safe in Ghost's hands, his place was secure in the 141.

2 hours he stood there in the disciplinary hearing, listening as his every insecurity is turned on him.

Every thing he hated about himself, was self conscious about, or wishes was different is read out loud.

'Unprofessional. Insubordinate. Talks too much. Appearance not regulation. Too loud. Disruptive. Too familiar. Undisciplined.'

He fought back the tears.

'Too emotional'

He doesn't look up from the floor. Doesn't want to see Price and Laswell at the table with his old smug commander he thought he finally got away from.

He was wrong. He disobeyed a direct order to turn back and plant explosives to prevent the building from being used again.

The premise had been cleared 5x in the past 3 years of human traffickers. It was secure and by the docks. They were gonna come back. His suggestion was shot down but after what he saw in there.. he decided to do it anyway.

So yes, he was wrong. No, he doesn't regret it.

But then Ghost had yelled at him over the comms for all to hear. Calling him a danger, an idiot who can't listen, a liability.

Then he reported it to Price who wrote him up for it after shouting the same words.

Price didn't know it would be the third strike on his record.

💰Soap didn't see Price flinch as words he'd written were shot at Soap like bullets. They were taken out of context, and never meant to be used like this.

He sees the man tremble, sees his eyes glaze over. He could see this destroying his boy and he couldn't stop it.

💀 A firm hand settled on his leg and Ghost looks up at Gaz. He didn't even realize he made a motion to stand in his anger. He was beside himself. This was his fault - he did this to Johnny. The commander's vitriol as he dug into Soap's character felt like a knife to his chest.

This wasn't what he wanted! He had been so fkn terrified when Soap ignored him and ran back into a crumbling smugglers den alone to blow it up. It came from a place of overwhelming worry but all he knew was violence. So he snapped and hurt, just so Johnny won't ever do it again.

He told Price, had to. He knew Price had a soft spot for Soap and was also worried at how reckless he got. To show him how serious it was he wrote him up.

Not knowing there was a commander who had been waiting for a third strike on Soap's record.

Soap's punishment: 6 months off the task force stripped of his title as he was sent to undergo training with new recruits. To 'remind him how to conduct himself as a soldier'. All of it at a base away from the 141.

Price tried, he really did, Laswell too. It was helpless. They just had to wait it out.

6 months later Ghost, Gaz, and Prize stand excited on the tarmac awaiting their favourite Scott's return to the 141 and as Sargent. Gaz is excited to hear all the stories of Soap kicking his instructors' asses, Price hopes he slept well. Ghost just wants him close again.

The man who steps off the heli, however is not the Soap they were waiting for. He doesn't have a mowhak, or trademark t-shirt and jeans, confident swagger or beaming smile.

He walks upright, his gaze his fixed but distant, his hair buzzed to the roots dressed in full basic fatigues.

"... Johnny?" Ghost asks as if he isn't sure who this is.

"Captain Price, Lieutenant Riley. Sargent John MacTavish, reporting in."

"Welcome back son. Your room is how you left it." Price says slowly.

Soap nods and goes to walk off but is stopped by Gaz's hand on his shoulder.

"Soap? Are you okay, mate?"

He stopped, took a moment, then looked back at the three staring expectedly at him.

He was fixed now. Like they wanted.

"I'm not Soap anymore. My call sign has changed."

He takes off his dog tags and hands them over.

Sgt. John 'Hazard' MacTavish

[swampyswan]

Is no one going to point out that the only time we get food is in the Happy Ever After ending?

Every other time food is mentioned, it’s in one of three cases:

1. Completely dismissed by the narrative (both the Princess and the Narrator describe it as irrelevant)

2. An act of cannibalism or auto-cannabalism (which is almost entirely exclusive to the Den route, but the Princess also chews off her arm).

3. An act of absorption or mixing of identities between you and the Princess (The Witch morphing into the Wild).

In Happy Ever After, it’s no wonder the food isn’t filling, or slowly grows stale. It’s not actual food, but simply fake food conjured out of whatever you and the Princess were made out of. In devouring the food, you are eating yourself.

And this is why I think comparing the Wild and Happy Ever After is good, because both are each God “consuming” the other at the cost of something important.

The Shifting Mound prioritizes change, but at the cost of personal safety and identity. You can join the Networked Wild, but also end up losing what you are in the process. You can join her willingly, but at the cost of losing the plot. And it inevitably fails because Shifty takes her away.

The Long Quiet, through the Narrator’s influence, prioritizes personal safety and stagnation over change and freedom. The Long Quiet has the Princess trapped within himself in order to enforce a happy status quo, but at the cost of her freedom and autonomy. Eventually, however, something must change and you eventually leave.

And it’s funny, cus both of these routes have opposite aesthetics. The Wild is a complete unraveling of the Hero and the Princess’ basic story: the Princess joins the narration, the cabin is nonexistent, and there’s no pristine blade until the end. It disrupts the pattern so extremely.

Happy Ever After plays very deeply into the Narrator’s status quo, with the royalty aesthetic present in the story and rescuing the Princess in the end.

[aspenmissing]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪᴄᴇ ᴘᴀɪᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ

ꜱɪʟᴄᴏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ || ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ || 1382 ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ (ᴋɴɪꜰᴇ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɴ)

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ʟᴇᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴢᴀᴜɴ, ʏ/ɴ ꜰɪɴᴅꜱ ꜱᴜᴄᴄᴇꜱꜱ ɪɴ ᴘɪʟᴛᴏᴠᴇʀ, ɢᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ʀᴇᴄᴏɢɴɪᴛɪᴏɴ ꜰᴏʀ ʜᴇʀ ɪɴɴᴏᴠᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ. ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱɪʟᴄᴏ ᴠɪꜱɪᴛꜱ ʜᴇʀ, ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛꜰᴜʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴜɪʟᴛʏ, ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴛᴇɴꜱᴇ ʀᴇᴜɴɪᴏɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇᴀʟꜱ ᴜɴʀᴇꜱᴏʟᴠᴇᴅ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ, ʙᴜᴛ ꜱʜᴇ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴꜱ ꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅꜰᴀꜱᴛ, ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱɪɴɢ ɪɴᴅᴇᴘᴇɴᴅᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʀᴇᴄᴏɴᴄɪʟɪᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1

ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ꜱɪʟᴄᴏ

The lights of Piltover gleamed in the distance, a stark contrast to the industrial fumes and oppressive fog of Zaun. It had been a year since she had left the underbelly of the city, the place where she had learned how to manipulate both metal and people, where her skills had been used and abused by Silco. Now, as the woman in the papers, she had found a new purpose. She was no longer bound to the power struggles of Zaun; instead, she had learned to thrive in Piltover’s streets, quietly ascending to a status that many would envy. It wasn’t for the faint of heart, and no one knew that better than she did.

Her name had become synonymous with innovation. "The woman from Zaun takes Piltover by storm," the papers read. "Her creations disrupt industries." In the year since her arrival, she had proven herself to be an unstoppable force in the world of engineering. Her designs—simple yet revolutionary—were making waves. Her ideas were sought after by the most prestigious houses, and her name was whispered in the halls of the council.

She hadn’t forgotten Zaun, though. It was always there, lurking in the background. But here, in Piltover, she was in control. No longer just a tool, no longer just another pawn in a man’s game. She had built something—herself, for once—and it was something she wasn’t willing to lose.

She was in her workshop, as usual, her hands deep in the guts of a new project. The metallic scent of freshly cut steel and burning oil filled the air, and the steady hum of machinery surrounded her like a symphony. The delicate movements of her fingers seemed effortless, each action deliberate, as if every piece of this world had been designed for her. It had taken years, but now the skills she had honed in Zaun were finally being recognized, respected, even celebrated. It was a far cry from the day Silco had scorned her, abandoning her as another tool he had no use for.

Her mind drifted, unbidden, to him. Silco. He hadn’t crossed her mind in weeks, but the thought of him was always there, like an itch that couldn’t be scratched. The guilt she’d felt when she left Zaun—the ache of leaving behind everything, including the one person she had truly believed in—had dulled with time. But deep down, a small part of her still wondered. Would he ever regret what he had said? Would he ever understand why she had left?

It didn’t matter. She was free. She was doing what she was meant to do.

The clang of a metal tool hitting the floor snapped her out of her thoughts. She sighed, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear and bending to pick it up, but then a sudden, familiar scent cut through the air—a smell she could never mistake.

The distinct scent of smoke.

Her hand immediately went for the knife at her waist, and without hesitation, she hurled it toward the doorway, the blade sinking deep into the wooden wall with a sharp crack. The sound of his footsteps faltered as the knife quivered inches from his head.

"Did you miss me?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She hadn’t even turned to face him yet.

Silco stood in the doorway, his silhouette framed by the dim light from the hallway. He looked almost the same as she remembered, though his clothes were more refined, the edges of his coat sharp, the scars on his face a permanent reminder of the battle that had defined him. His piercing eyes scanned her as though he had just walked into a lion’s den, and for a moment, he didn’t speak.

"You always did have a way with knives," he finally said, his voice smooth, almost too calm for her liking.

She turned, setting down the wrench in her hand. "You’re lucky I don’t use them more often."

The silence stretched between them like a thin, brittle thread, both of them standing in the midst of it—him, unsure of how to proceed, and her, calculating every second. It had been a long time since she’d seen him, and it showed in the way he looked at her. She wasn’t the same woman who had cowered in his presence. No, she was someone else now. Someone powerful. Someone who didn’t need him anymore.

Silco’s eyes narrowed as he stepped into the room, his gaze flicking to the knife embedded in the wall. "That could’ve been a fatal mistake."

She tilted her head slightly, watching him, before her lips curled into a small smirk. "You know me. I don’t miss."

He took a step closer, but she didn’t flinch. She was done flinching. "I’ve seen your work," he said, his voice tinged with something like admiration. "It’s impressive. Piltover’s taken notice of you."

Her expression shifted, the smallest of smiles crossing her lips. "I told you, I didn’t need you to make a name for myself." Her words were laced with an edge, but there was no anger in them. It was a fact. He had abandoned her when she was no longer useful to him, and now, it was clear that she had found her own path.

Silco stopped in front of her, studying her face. She could see the conflict in his eyes. The guilt. The shame. "I never meant for you to leave," he said quietly, the words seemingly coming from deep within.

She cocked an eyebrow, her arms crossing over her chest. "Didn’t you?"

There was a long pause, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop, the two of them standing in a kind of suspended silence. He took another step toward her, his voice barely above a whisper. "I… I didn’t mean to push you away. But you were more than just a tool to me. I never wanted to lose you."

She looked at him, her eyes scanning his face for any trace of sincerity. She’d seen it all before—the manipulation, the promises, the lies. She had trusted him once, and look where that had gotten her. But this… this was different. She could see the vulnerability in his posture, in the way his hands twitched at his sides, as though unsure of what to do with himself.

"I left because I wasn’t going to waste my life under your thumb," she said, her voice steady and cold. "I had to leave to find out who I really was, not just what you needed me to be."

The guilt that had been gnawing at Silco’s insides seemed to deepen. "I never wanted to control you. You’re… different. But I was afraid of what might happen if you became more powerful than I could manage."

Her eyes softened, just for a moment. "I was never your possession, Silco. I was a person. And it took me too long to realize that."

He nodded, his eyes avoiding hers. "I’m sorry."

The apology hung in the air between them, fragile and uncertain. She didn’t know what to say to it. She didn’t know if she even wanted to respond. It wasn’t that she was angry anymore. She had long since buried that part of herself, knowing it wasn’t worth her energy. What bothered her was the fact that he had only come to this conclusion now, when it was too late.

"You should go," she said, her tone no longer as harsh, but still firm.

Silco seemed to hesitate, his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer. "I didn’t think you’d be this far gone," he said softly, almost to himself.

She looked at him one last time, a mixture of pity and indifference crossing her features. "You made sure of it."

With that, she turned her back to him, returning to her workbench. The clink of metal against metal filled the room once more, drowning out the silence that had settled between them.

And Silco, standing in the doorway, knew there was no going back. Not for him. Not for her.

"Goodbye," he whispered, though she couldn’t hear him over the noise of her creations.

And with that, he left her—just another casualty of his own making.