#disparities in appetite are very real

[robustcornhusk]

the instagram version of the post has an ingredients list, for the can't-wing-it-crowd (me)

i'm absolutely down to demolish a whole pan of that, no problem

Had a tiktok of someone making it bookmarked (probably accidentally tbh) so - made Lahsa. Because 'spicy tomato and egg based breakfast' was clearly the gaping hole in my cooking repertoire.

Anyway it was delicious (though made it shakshouka spicy and probably should have gone more menemen level tbh) but having made it I can in fact confirm that the guy in the video saying this egg-and-cream cheese dish is 'light' was talking entirely out of his ass.

[pseudowho]

Random question, during any of your pregnancy’s were you ever insecure about you body, how you were acting, or any of your cravings?

Me and my fiancé were talking about plans for future kids and i’m to scared to ask anyone else. could you give me a small run through of things to expect?

Thank you so much!!

Hey! I'll answer this both as a woman who has done pregnancy and birth three times, and as an experienced midwife. I don't like the 'horror story' sharing that many women do around pregnancy; it muddies the waters, and is supremely anxiety-inducing for anyone who is pregnant while hearing it.

You need to know I could write, and have written, essays on this.

As a midwife: Pregnancy is this period of unique physiological change in your body and mind, that even when it is normal (i.e. normal symptoms, not a sign of an unwell pregnancy) can be profound and lifelong.

These normal symptoms, including but not limited to nausea and vomiting (commonly referred to as morning sickness, though present at any time of day), weight gain, swelling, congestion, mood changes, appetite changes, stretch marks, heartburn and hip/joint pain, can range from barely present/absent, to severe.

Even severe pregnancy symptoms aren't always considered abnormal unless they're making you unwell (i.e. unable to keep any food or water down).

These symptoms can be altered by many of your pre-existing conditions; your weight and general health, your lifestyle and eating habits, your exercise habits, simple dumb luck/genetics, family history, mental health and body image/dysmorphia, etc.

So in that respect, in a normal pregnancy, I have seen some women who are extremely insecure and struggling to cope with the changes to their body and mind, and some women who absolutely breeze through it like pregnancy hasn't even affected them. Nowhere on this spectrum does it ever surprise me.

So now I'll talk about the average first pregnancy. As I said...the experience varies wildly.

Early on in your pregnancy (up to about 12 weeks) often feels like you're in an utter no-man's land. You feel like healthcare professionals aren't wildly interested in you; they'll take your history and 'book' your pregnancy in from (now this is based on the UK) about 8 weeks pregnancy (please note, your 'weeks of pregnancy' aren't calculated from the moment you fall pregnant, it is calculated from the first day of your last period, so in a woman with a regular 28-30 day cycle, there usually feels like there's a 'disparity' of about 2 weeks in your dates-- there isn't, this is how we calculate it). You may have an early scan or two. Essentially, we wait to see if the pregnancy is continuing; lots of miscarriages happen in the first 8 weeks. About 1/3 of pregnancies will miscarry here, in fact.

Tiredness is real at this stage. You may feel like you want to sleep constantly. It's shit that at this stage you often feel the worst, but feel like you're also just being expected to 'get on with it'. Please ask for help. If your partner isn't an equal partner pre-pregnancy, best of luck to you. You may feel utterly useless sometimes days from exhaustion, and this is normal I'm afraid.

Mid pregnancy drags, but you're usually starting to feel a bit better. The top of your uterus doesn't even begin to rise out of your pelvic brim until about 16 weeks, and the lower part of the uterus only begins to expand and form (creating that 'pregnant' belly look) from about 28 weeks, so don't try to force a bump that simply isn't there. Lots of women are very keen to look pregnant. Just chill. It's okay if you dont. Take it easy.

You do not need to eat for two; your pregnancy uses your intake more effectively when you're pregnant. Do take pregnancy specific multivitamins though. They don't need to be expensive or fancy ones; normal store bought are generally just the same, without all the fancy packaging.

Later pregnancy (the third trimester, 28 weeks onwards), you will likely notice that tiredness creeping in again. This is where your baby is largely formed structurally, and is maturing and gaining size and weight. Please ignore any and all comments from people who look at you and announce that you will have a big/small baby. They're idiots and likely wrong. Laugh it off. Here is where you may start to notice things like heartburn, hip pain, mood changes coming back again. You're heavy, and it's harder to move, and your organs are moving out of the way to facilitate a baby. Cut yourself some slack if at all possible.

So...now to me and what I had.

As Haitch: (tw/cw: suicidal ideations) So it's now a running joke, that my body was so 'good' at pregnancy, so utterly flooded with hormones, that while I became this perfect machine for growing and birthing babies, pregnancy broke me.

I spent every waking minute of the first 16 weeks nauseous and exhausted, bone deep exhausted. I had all the usual symptoms hit hard and early. I suffered severe pelvic separation, agonising pain, and @mrhaitch had to help me up from an early stage.

Thankfully, he was exquisite pregnancy support. Full is based on him, after all.

I ended up on some pretty strong medication for my heartburn, as it was severe enough that my stomach acid was damaging my vocal chords.

Worst of all was my mental health. From 26-28 weeks, your progesterone levels boom. This is normal. But this is where we discovered that progesterone is a very bad hormone for me. I developed severe antenatal depression and anxiety, and antenatal psychosis. I was paranoid, delusional, fragile and had active suicidal ideations. I had plans on how I would end my life. This is all utterly unlike me.

With my first pregnancy, our son was born at 42 weeks after a fast, normal labour, but I don't know how I didn't end my own life towards the end of my pregnancy. With my second two, we were more on it, and my lovely colleagues induced my labours from 38 weeks, purely because my mental health was so bad.

I was watched like a hawk in pregnancy 3. We knew I would lose my mind...and sadly, I did. I was medicated but It did little to help. It was at that point (October/November 2024) that I began writing on Tumblr...and here I am.

So as I have said...lots of things you could expect.

To this day in my 13 year Midwifery career, I have seen fewer than 10 women whose mental health was affected as badly my pregnancy as mine was. So I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Phew. If you have any more specific questions, I would be happy to answer.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[hekateinhell]

you already know why i’m here. our house chapter seven please please please i’m nothing

I do know LMAO. As soon as I wrote it, I knew if anyone asked for it, it was going to be you. 🥹 So this would have been the immediate next chapter after what's already up on ao3. I started writing this version I think September 2022 and I just never continued?

We've seen Armand explore his feminine side and his relationship to that a bit already, so in this chapter, I wanted to focus on his more masculine side just for a minute. I also wanted to illustrate a bit of their lives outside of each other. I'll just put everything I have in the doc here, just for you! ♥️

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Well, I think it’s cute,” Daniel bent down to press a kiss to Armand’s scruffy cheek, the first time in four years he’d ever actually seen the product of Armand forgoing shaving for an entire week.

It took a moment’s getting used to; not quite a five-o-clock shadow anymore, not quite a beard yet, darker than the auburn on his head by a couple tones.

Armand sighed, shifting so that his lips caught Daniel’s, more touching, resting in place, than kissing. “I wish you could work home from today,” he whispered. “I keep thinking something’s going to happen. I know I’m crazy but…” Armand trailed off, his forehead coming to rest against Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel gently rubbed his back, feeling the tension he was carrying.

“I know, baby,” hard for Armand not to be tense these days, given everything. “It’s a short day for me, and then I’ll meet you at Dr. Lydia’s at 3:30?”

He tangled his fingers through Armand’s wild hair, trying to soothe him as if he were one of the cats. Armand hadn’t felt the house in a week, and it showed. Decided he could delegate the physical tasks to a temp and do everything else virtually.

Daniel didn’t think it was depression, exactly. Armand certainly seemed happy and animated whenever Daniel was around. He still showered, ate, and slept. His appetite, in regards to food and sex, was as healthy as could be. He wasn’t starved for company either; in fact, Daniel hadn’t come home to an apartment with less than five people in it all week.

Some people he knew well, some he didn’t. Bianca, Laurent, Felix, Santiago. Armand’s European friends. As soon as Daniel’s key turned in the lock, the crew cleared out with an overlapping chorus of hellos and goodbyes — did nobody work anymore? Daniel had asked and Armand had shrugged and said, “They get by, I suppose.” Then he hurled himself at Daniel, demanding to be carried to the bedroom for a pre-dinner romp.

It seemed to Daniel he was getting laid a lot lately. There had always been a disparity in their libidos, once the honeymoon phase wore off. And to be fair, when they’d met, Daniel was trying and failing at AA and snorting conspicuous amounts of coke to compensate. He might as well as have been on Viagra those first three months. Set some very unrealistic expectations, bit of false advertising and all that.

They hadn’t clued right away after he’d started NA, because for the first time in his life, this wasn’t a relationship he wanted to escape from. He wanted to do better, see what might happen if he showed up as his best, sober self.

Only Armand’s whining and bouncing on his lap, overlappingly sleep-deprived and aroused because Daniel’s been fucking his brains out since midnight and it was 3 AM and couldn’t they go one more round please oh please? Just like last time and the time before that and the time before that!

What was different tonight?

It had been so weird to say, looking down at his limp dick that was doing most of the talking as it was, “It doesn’t wanna work, babe, I don’t know what to tell you.” Hadn’t run into this problem in years.

Armand gave him a childish pout that Daniel was sure was more real than fake. He’d rolled off him and curled by his side, pressing his face against Daniel’s neck. Giggling when he said, “I ought to give you a hickey,” like they were teenagers.

“Go for it.”

He did, sucking hard at the skin on Daniel’s throat, subconsciously and then not-so-subconsciously humping Daniel’s hip until he finished a fourth time with a low, deep moan, finally satiated and worn out.

Lucky it was January, seeing as Daniel had to wear turtlenecks for the next two days after Armand had massacred him. The little vampire.

“I’m not sure I can keep up with you,” he’d mumbled over the cereal the next morning.

“What are you talking about?” Armand’s smiling at him, having opted to bring his chair beside Daniel’s instead of staying at the opposite end.

It hurt a bit to say, “What if I can’t keep with you, like with your sex drive, and you just get bored of me?”

“You can’t be serious!” Armand laughed before the look on Daniel’s face stopped him cold. “Danny,” he reached for Daniel’s much larger hand, intertwining their fingers and pressing their palms together.

“Danny, look…” He stared down at the granola in front of him, as if it might grant him the strength to get through what he was about to say. “I like you. I am a lot, I know that! But I don’t need you to ‘keep up with me’. I’m perfectly capable of keeping up with myself.”

[sketchyandirregular]

Finally, I finished the new reference sheets for this little oc series! Now I can scream into the void about them, and then probably go back to alternating between reblogging fandom stuff and sheer radio silence until my next spontaneous oc post. Not that anyone’s in the audience anyway, but yknow, they’re also visible on my Toyhou.se.

Offbeat Avenue is a strange slice of fantasy universe that I’ve been tinkering with for several years. It ultimately revolves around the everyday troubles and chaos of two human-demon halfblood twins, whose measly mentally ill little lives are the somewhat disparate foreground to an arguably unnecessarily vast interdimensional magical backdrop. The titular place is the street which they live on, in a human city with an ambitious tech scene, modern socioeconomic classism, and a mysterious, rumored-to-be-enchanted forest. The main themes include found family, the power of community, and self-improvement.

Being as old of an oc project as it is, it’s just plain convoluted. Somewhere in my dusty old skull is a dream to turn it into an animated show or comic or creative property of some kind, so I’ve been clanging away at it intermittently between the woes of art college and lying motionless in my room after every stressful day of doing things… Well, that and comfort characters is my favorite kind of copium. I assume the sea of fandom-focused Tumblr is an ok place to drop these rambles because I guess it means I don’t have to really confront my fear of putting my work out there, yet. (How does one learn to balance professionalism and being real with an audience? I swear I just feel lame and overshare-y every time.)

Anywho, the main cast is as follows:

HATSUMOTO HIRABAYASHI: A human/demon halfblood that inherited so little magic that everyone decided it entitled him to the family heirloom of an animated snake amulet guardian. Good thing his parents gave that to him before dying in a car crash. Add in a second car crash and “gift” of a bionic eye, and now he feels indebted to the local faceless tech corporation that inspired him in his youth, who’s generously given this high school dropout a rather unfulfilling janitorial job at one of their offices. Hooray. At least he can talk a walk into the fenced-off mysterious forest behind his backyard when he’s sad.

He’s known for being an anxious depressed mess with a nerdy heart in robotics, reptiles, and fantasy. You can tell them apart because upon being thrust anywhere out of his house, Hatsu will always look like he’s hoping he can melt into dust and disintegrate. Despite being 6’7” just like his brother, he slouches practically enough to pass as 5’10’. Sometimes, you could catch him jotting down sci-fi dreams and ideas in a notebook that he will downplay as “nothing”.

Romance-wise, his girlfriend is a witch (belonging to WhiteRabbitTea’s “Storytime” on Toyhou.se) who, in addition to being caught in her own battles, has been trying to convince Hats that he’s strong enough to fight his battles— both the one with his inner demons and the one with his sucky coworkers.

DH (demon hatsumoto) HIRABAYASHI: A human/demon halfblood that inherited so much magic that he hardly knows what to do with all the portals, teleporting, and time on his hands. Too bad his parents didn’t warn him how to use it before he caused a car crash. Add in an existential crisis and inferiority complex from magical soul troubles in his youth manifesting as something akin a Hollywood version of DID, and now he’s very dangerous and maladapted even after Hats’ gf helped separate them with a mirror spell. At least his skills help him be a fearsome mercenary. Hooray?

To the dismay of his brother, he’s known for interdimensional chaos so superficial that it usually entails him opening portals to just use the void beyond as a cooler for vodka. His shark tooth grin is just as infamous, next only to his insatiable appetite. A guy’s gotta get the energy for his demon magic somehow. Other than, he has a surprisingly artistic streak, especially in graffiti.

Romance-wise, his theyfriend is a witch (also belonging to WhiteRabbitTea) in a similar existential “evil twin” situation, who compliments DH’s loud, brash violence with a quiet, poetic glare. They’ve tried to convince DH to stop burning his own paintings, but finds better success at calming him with home cooked food.

WILLA WARDLOW: A little bunny girl stuck in Hatsu’s city after a family trip to study the enchanted forest went up in flames. One traumatizing adjustment later, and she’s sent to live with the Hirabayashi twins, sparking a newfound sense of brotherly responsibility in Hatsu and a newfound protectiveness in DH. She herself wasn’t born magical, but the arcane happenings around her are very inspirational.

Not many know her, since Hats’ anxiety means he tries to keep her at home and out of trouble, but to the rest of the cast, she’s either known as the ambitious witchling—drawn to fantasy literature, role play games, and studying the oddities of her brothers’ neighborhood— or the glue that keeps the twins reluctantly together.

MALLY STONEBREATH: What was once a human was turned into a hodgepodge of cat, wolf, dragon, and who knows what else by an unauthorized homemade mad scientist living in Hatsu’s neighborhood and obsessed with the forest. He, then a baby, was deemed a failure and thrown away like a doll before being found by curious dragonlings playing raccoon. Long story short, he now lives happily with a draconic polycule family in the enchanted woods. Under the cover of night, he likes to wander into the city, inheriting his brothers’ curiosity.

Their family named them “Malice” as an inside joke for how their optimism and naïveté often landed him in trouble. Eventually, their nickname came about as a more accurate way to describe them. Other than that, ideally, no one outside the woods but Hatsu and his few friends know about them at all. Said small circle sees them as a ray of sunlight— the new perspective that Hatsu kinda needs… even if they have trouble understanding how positivity can be toxic.

ELIJAH EMERAGOLD: A teenage elf that doesn’t really remember his bio parents or the demonic force that pushed them to emigrate across dimensions anymore. His main concern these days is managing the bar that his late adoptive human grandad left him, making sure his brother doesn’t get back into depression drinking, and grappling with his sheltered childhood. This latter battle has led him to seek out real battles as a mercenary— a hole that he dug with the help of a shapeshifter, and which constantly brings him face to face with jaded pessimism and questions of morality.

He’s known as the stoic, grumpy counterpart to his brother— someone who bar patrons know not to pester, or else. Unfortunately, his friends know that this murderous silhouette is mostly a facade; he’s really a relatively stand-up, if not pretty stuck-up, silly little guy. His brother, most of all, knows him as the quiet, smart, prone-to-being-overstimulated, musician and archer.

ELLIOT EMERAGOLD: A elf that’s still rather stuck in the nervous, agoraphobic habits ingrained by well meaning parents as refugees from the demon king’s conquests. After the disappearance of his parents and death of the kindly bar owner that took them in, he tends to spend his days steeped in a somber grief, not that most people notice with his warm smile and friendly demeanor.

He’s known as the life of the family bar, entertaining patrons both magical and not with telekinetic tricks and casual conversation. He loves hearing the stories of other people’s adventures and travels— except for that of his brother and his merc friends. He often feels like he failed Eli as an older sibling.

Romance-wise, his boyfriend is Zack (belonging to cnidaria4’s “What Do They Know” on Toyhou.se), a kind of demon, who can, in short, relate to having met a very unfriendly world. They compliment each other well— the introvert to Elliot’s thoughtful extrovert.

AMY MIMIKRE: A pink shapeshifter inheriting the infamous mercenary title of her family, alongside the questionable ethics and logic that comes with having been raised in a life of crime— by which I mean, she’s loyal to a fault to those she sees as worthy company and crew, but also sees no issue in hiring teenagers. The more the merrier, am I right? No interdimensional nomad’s life is complete if they’re always lonely at camp.

They’re known in the verboten underbelly of magic society as “The Pink Thunder”, a vicious predator that can appear either as a house cat or a full on panther depending on the size of your bounty or whether you’ve wronged her. Her friends know her more as a quirky older sibling, who can both give a tough spar when you need a distraction, or even occasionally sprout some kind of odd wisdom about chosen family or having confidence.

Other than that, there’s some other side characters, including a dwarf mayor of a criminal town that runs on a truce agreement, the exasperated Lord of the Underworld, the occasional odd neighbor, and more that hasn’t yet exactly been fleshed out!

I guess I’m done rambling for now.

[originalstarfishcupcake]

The All-Consuming Food cravings: When the Giantess Consumes People

Introduction

The planet is a tapestry woven along with fallacies as well as legends, some thus bizarre they tarnish free throw lines between truth and dream. One such folklore that has captivated mankind for centuries is actually that of the giantess-- a substantial being whose appetite knows no bounds. The stories of the giantess consuming individuals stir up both are afraid and also fascination, stirring our imaginations as we reflect the implications of such hunger. Within this article, our team will dive deep right into the mythos encompassing the giantess, examining her wishes, inspirations, and the psychological reinforcements of these eye-catching stories.

This exploration is certainly not just an academic endeavor; it serves as a reflection on individual fears as well as desires. What persuades us to make such impressive figures? Why perform our team find our own selves enchanted by tales where giants walk our lands, devouring those smaller sized than themselves? Through this lense, our team can easily learn ideas regarding our very own weakness and longings.

The All-Consuming Cravings: When the Giantess Consumes People

When our experts listen to tales of a giantess eating folks, it's challenging not to experience a coldness run down our spines. The idea of going to the grace of a creature therefore tremendous and also pressing take advantage of primitive fears-- anxiety of fretfulness, fear of being actually overthrown. However why do these tales sound a great deal along with our company?

The Beginnings of Big Myths

The principle of giants is actually much from new. Historical societies all over continents have shared accounts regarding massive beings that strolled one of mortals. In Norse mythology, there is actually Jotunheim, home to the giants-- Jotunns-- who typically clashed with gods like Thor. In a similar way, in Greek mythology, we possess the Titans.

Cultural Significance

Giant folklores fulfill various functionalities in their particular cultures:

Moral Lessons: Numerous stories include giants as antagonists that work with chaos or even destruction. Personification of Nature: Giants usually symbolize organic forces past individual control. Social Commentary: The disparity between giants and mortals can easily mirror societal hierarchies. Psychological Underpinnings

What drives the story of "the giantess consumes individuals"? At its primary exists an allegorical exploration of power aspects-- the exchange between stamina and vulnerability.

Fear & Fascination

People are actually attracted to what intimidates all of them. The allure depends on:

Exploration of Power: The giantess symbolizes best electrical power over her victims. Vicarious Experience: Viewers may indulge their darkest worries without real consequences. The Giantess Wants Feet Worshipped

In many interpretations of giantess mythology, there's an interesting part relating to praise-- particularly feet praise. This facet discloses much deeper coatings within these narratives.

Symbolism of Tootsies in Mythology

Feet usually signify grounding--

[encyclopika]

Animal Crossing Fish Dish Friday - #18

Brought to you by a marine biologist with pen and ink...

CLICK HERE FOR THE AC FISH EXPLAINED MASTERPOST!

Squid Ink Curry

In ACNH: 1. Catch a Squid. 2. Cook at a stove with 3 Flour & 1 Squid

In Real Life: from India

Fish of Choice: There are two squid ink dishes in ACNH, but IRL, ink is usually collected from cuttlefish, although squid are sometimes used. Anyway, it is more accurately called "cephalopod ink".

Other Ingredients: The thing about curry is that it's defined by the "curry spices" used, and not really the base, which appears to be anything you want that will create some sort of sauce.

Here's a recipe that looks pretty good!

Mollusca is such a crazy group of animals. It's still hard to wrap my head around the fact that cephalopods - octopuses, squid, cuttlefish and all their various tentacled friends - are related to bivalves, like clams and oysters. They just...seem so distant from each other! And yeah, I've known this fact for 20+ years, but there's that magic that keeps driving me back to biology in general. To be honest, this relation is even more crazy to me than the cow and whale relation - at least those two both have eyes and are very mammal, y'know? Between a squid and a clam, they couldn't be more different - the disparity between their intelligence and body plans in crazy.

One of the most obvious differences is, of course, that one of them has a shell and the other one doesn't. That's so obvious, right?

WRONG*.

(*OK, not completely wrong - the majority of octopuses don't have shells, but the other cephalopods do!)

Just like with fish, you can clean and cut your own squid for dinner - very often, if you go to the fish market, you're going to see whole squid for sale. Get them. They are an extremely versatile (and sustainable!) protein (my friend at work makes a stuffed squid that is soooo good, but you can just make fried calamari, or throw some cut squid "noodles" into soup. Endless possibilities!). When you go to clean your squid, you'll notice that this soft-bodied animal has a stiffening rod in its body called the "pen". You'll obviously remove this, because no one wants to chew on toenail. And whoever named this structure was on fire - calling this thin structure the pen when squid make ink? Amazing. (It's also called the gladius, but pen is better. Sorry not sorry.)

Pens come in many shapes and sizes!

The origin of the pen is actually the remnants of the cephalopod shell in decapodiformes, the squid, and one octopodiforme, the vampire squid. Just like their cousins, the clams and the snails, cephalopods of the past had shells - just look at the ammonites and the still-alive nautilus. Squid traded their shell defenses for maneuverability and speed, but they didn't lose them completely! Same for cuttlefish which have a similar structure called a "cuttlebone".

And there you have it! Bon appetite!

[pacific-rimbaud]

Drabble #39: "Hey! I was gonna eat that."

by PacificRimbaud for @grangerdangerfics​ 

Rated M for language and sexual references

Pairing: Pansy Parkinson x Michael Corner

Tags: High School AU, Non-magical AU, discussion of teen sex

"Cocoa Puffs. Nice."

Michael, folded in half and pushing a half-gallon carton of Minute Maid aside to grab the milk, stood up quickly, cracking the top of his head on the ceiling of the refrigerator.

"Shit!" The gallon jug of milk hung from the index finger of one hand, and he rubbed the top of his scalp with the other.

He'd entirely forgotten that it had been Spirit Day, but he was reminded of it by the sight of Pansy closing his sliding back door behind herself, her twiggy legs poking out from the ass-grazing hem of her cheer skirt.

"Can you knock?" he asked, pulling the plastic seal from the cap of the milk. "Is that something you've got stashed away in your grossly under-tapped skill set? Or do you just do pom poms now?"

"Mom says I don't have to." She parked herself on the bar stool Michael had intended to sit on at the kitchen island.

"My mom or your mom?"

"Your mom."

He sat down at the opposite end of the bar, reached over to hook a fingertip into the edge of the bowl of Cocoa Puffs sitting in front of Pansy, and dragged it across the counter toward himself.

An enormous bow, purple with white polka dots, sat at the top of her head, crowning her blunt black bob. Her eyelids were shaded to match. Michael thought he smelled artificial grape, and wondered if it was her lip gloss.

"Why are you in my house, Minnie Mouse?" He poured milk over his cereal, then walked back to the fridge to put it away. Bent over again, he heard the distinctive sound of ceramic scraping across granite, and turned around to find Pansy with his bowl back in front of her and his spoon in her hand, chewing earnestly.

"Hey.” He gestured pointlessly at the bowl. “I was gonna eat that."

She waved at him. "Move on. I have a favor to ask you."

Michael pulled another bowl from the cupboard. "You mean besides letting you eat my cereal?"

She nodded, jamming a spoonful into her grape-flavored mouth.

"I need you to start fucking me after school."

Michael froze.

"Excuse me?"

As she waved her hand again, he fixated on her gleaming purple manicure. Each of her nails was a completely smooth oval.

"It's perfect. I checked, and cheer practice lines up almost exactly with robot group–"

"Robotics club."

"Fucking Legobots clubhouse, and mom doesn't get home until 6:15."

"My mom or your mom?"

"My mom. Your mom gets home at 5:45, so that’s another half an hour at my house, which we might need, I don't know. Anyway, like I said, you're right next door, it's perfect." She took another bite of Michael's cereal.

Carefully, deliberately, he set his new bowl down at his new spot at the island, and sat down.

Slowly, methodically, he filled it to the brim with Cocoa Puffs.

“Is this like a fake dating thing? Are you trying to get Draco back by pretending we’re sleeping together or something?”

Pansy shook her head. “No. It’s the opposite of that. We’re going to have real sex, but no one will know about it. And I’m still not talking to you at school.” She’d finished chasing the last globes of cereal around in her milk, and grabbed the box to top off her bowl.

Michael could feel himself glitching.

“Sex.”

“Yes, Michael.”

“With me.”

“Yes, Michael.”

He rebooted. “Why me?”

“It just makes sense. We’ve already seen each other naked,” she said. “Taken baths together. Slept in the same bed.”

“Yes, when we were two.”

He thought about the photo albums on the shelves in the TV room, and the series of photographs taken of her and Michael standing in a plastic pool in the backyard, arms looped around one another’s shoulders, wearing nothing but My Little Pony and Spider-man underpants, respectively, Michael squinting in the sun, Pansy in pink star-shaped plastic sunglasses, tongue out and hip cocked to one side.

“You can sleep with literally any guy at school. And not to be an asshole, like, get it, for sure, but my understanding is that you kind of do.”

She turned toward him with a look of unfiltered excitement and pointed the bowl of her spoon at him. “That’s exactly it. I don’t. But Cassius—”

“Cassius Warrington?”

“Mm hm.”

Cassius Warrington had graduated two years earlier, and now played college football in a very high-profile way.

“I’ve been texting with Cassius, and Daphne was messing around and said something to his sister who told Graham Montague who told Cassius that I’m incredible.”

Michael blinked. “Incredible at having sex?”

“Yes.”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you...not?”

“No! I’ve never done it.”

He looked down into the detritus of cereal powder floating in his now-brown milk, and suddenly short on appetite, dropped his spoon in his bowl.

“But I thought you and Draco, you know, for what, three and a half years…?”

He wondered why he’d felt the need to specify the half.

“His parents are so weird about all that purity stuff. He went down on me constantly, but that’s as far as it went. But no, I haven’t had intercourse.”

“So...you’re asking me to have intercourse with you, so you can have intercourse with your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend yet, but basically, yes.”

Michael suddenly felt defensive.

“Why would you think I’d want to do this?”

Pansy stared at him, then waved a hand down the length of her body.

She was all soft, flawless skin and dark hair and big eyes and long legs and…

Michael breathed out.

“Because I’m me,” she said. “And you get intercourse, Michael. Until I’m good at it.”

“Isn’t that a big deal, though? Like don’t you want to have feelings with whoever you have sex with for the first time?”

“That’s exactly the problem. What do you think of when I say ‘virginity’?”

“I mean, it’s a social and not a biological construct, and there are some pretty gross gender disparities—”

“Exactly. That’s why you’re perfect. I don’t want some guy who thinks putting his dick in me is the equivalent of typing ‘First!’ in the comments.”

“And you think Cassius will be? Why date him then?”

“He’s 6’5”. But you’re an analytical nerd, you’re fucking hot, you’re definitely not going to tell anyone, you’re single—”

“What makes you think I’m single?” He paused. “You think I’m hot?”

She only rolled her eyes. “And yes, the double standards are unbelievably fucking annoying,” she said. “Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Have feelings the first time?”

He swallowed, and pushed the cereal further away.

“I haven’t done it either.”

Pansy and her grape lip gloss stood up abruptly from the bar stool.

He wasn’t tall, exactly, and she wasn’t short, exactly, but when she and her tiny skirt stepped between his parted knees, something about the way she was still a little shorter than him while he was sitting down triggered a rush of adrenaline, and his gut promptly became a thriving butterfly preserve.

“Are you―what, like, right now?” he asked.

He’d been steadily leaning toward saying yes, but if he did, there was a lot of research he’d want to do between now and the actual opening ceremonies.

“No, fucking dork.” Pansy rolled her eyes, and patted her hands against his knees. “My parents are out of town next weekend, and Cassius is gone for an away game, so he’ll be too busy to text.” She smiled, and it was something less like the Cheshire smirk she flashed at her friends across the quad, and more like the way she used to look when they tore open their first Otter Pops in Michael’s back yard every summer, until they’d turned twelve and both moved on.

“We’re going to be so bad,” she said. “But that’s fine.”

“I hope not. I mean...if we...I’d try. Obviously. To not be bad.”

“It’s not like AP Calculus.”

“No, I don’t imagine it’s anything like AP Calculus.”

Michael glanced at her mouth, glistening and faintly purple, and Pansy’s eyes widened.

Fuck it, he thought.

He settled one hand at her hip and the other at the back of her neck, and then he kissed her.

They separated a full minute later, both breathless.

Oh, Michael thought.

“Oh,” she said.

“Next weekend?” he asked, hand tightening over her hip. “Like, what time?”

“I guess...” She stared at Michael’s lips, and her hips tilted forward. “Whenever.”

Oh, fuck.

[hormonalharmonyhb]

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[96thdayofrage]

Even beyond the subject matter—a long-unsolved lynching of a Black man in Georgia—Wesley Lowery’s recent story in GQ was jarring. The July feature has the hallmarks of classic true crime: the ambitious investigator, the zealous prosecutor, the family that would not let the case be forgotten. It’s a great story, squarely in the vein of other cold case classics, including Pamela Colloff’s “Unholy Act,” Matthew McGough’s “The Lazarus File,” and Robert Kolker’s “A Serial Killer in Common.” And yet it is, in one profound way, extremely unusual. Lowery, a Pulitzer Prize winner, is Black. And the true crime genre is very, very white.

True crime is, relatively speaking, small. None of the Big Five book publishers bothers with a dedicated imprint. But the genre wields outsize cultural sway far beyond publishing, especially since the success of 2014’s “Serial” podcast—about the highly contested homicide conviction of Adnan Syed in the 1999 murder of Hae Min Lee in Baltimore County, Maryland—and HBO’s “The Jinx,” the 2015 docuseries about real estate heir Robert Durst and several homicides he is suspected of having committed. (Durst will stand trial for the December 2000 homicide of Susan Berman next year.) So it matters a great deal that most true crime focuses on white police officers and detectives, white victims, and white prosecutors working to avenge them—aimed, said Lowery, “at a presumed white audience.” He believes, rightly, that this is effectively a judgment about what constitutes a sympathetic victim.

I called Lowery not long ago to talk about that whiteness, which swamps the genre across books, magazines, newspapers, and podcasts—and how the color barrier has influenced Americans’ impression of crime itself.

Lowery noted that Samuel Little, perhaps one of the most prolific murderers in American history—he credits himself with 93 victims —remains relatively unknown. Serial killer-related content is extraordinarily popular among Americans; is it not unreasonable, Lowery wonders, to credit this ignorance to Little’s alleged victims—disproportionately Black women? Little’s confessions have been met with skepticism from some in law enforcement and journalism. Lowery said Little remaining under the cultural radar “speaks to the extent to which the subjective decisions that are made about what to portray in true crime is a financial decision, made based on what is presumed a white audience will care about.”

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, and has been for many years. The racial disparity is hard to quantify, but it’s surely been evident for the last two decades, before which true crime was regarded as trash. During each of those years, Mystery Writers of America bestowed its Edgar Awards. Among the categories: Best Fact Crime. Five or six books are nominated each year.

In the last 20 years, few nonwhite writers have been nominated in the category, and none have won. (In 2018, the organization rescinded an achievement award to disgraced Central Park Five prosecutor Linda Fairstein.)

Journalist Sarah Weinman’s latest anthology, “Unspeakable Acts: True Tales of Crime, Murder, Deceit, and Obsession”—in which I have story—features only one nonwhite writer and no Black writers. Weinman is aware that this absence reflects the genre itself. “When pain and trauma is grist for the entertainment mill, certain stories are, still, valued over others,” she wrote in a July essay for BuzzFeed News.

The implications of that value judgment are staggering. Think about what it means to have white writers tell the world about crime that, most often, affects Black people—or that white editors get to choose what crime is worth a book, a feature, a podcast. Think about how this skews some people’s perception of what even constitutes a crime.

It’s hard to overstate how inaccurate and damaging the results and perceptions created by so much whiteness has been. Generations of readers have been led to believe that murder victims most often are women killed by men and that Black serial murderers are rare. Neither assertion is true. According to the FBI, the majority of homicide victims are men killed by other men, and the race of serial murderers is commensurate with the racial makeup of the U.S. as a whole.

The fallout extends beyond misperception into policy, and it has for decades. For example, as Rachel Monroe detailed in her 2019 book “Savage Appetites,” the rise of the victims’ rights movement, led by the mother of Sharon Tate—a white actress whose murder at the hands of Manson Family members has been documented ad nauseam—led directly to the rights of defendants being restricted. The severity of punishment is rarely even questioned. “[True crime] frames the justice system as inherently just, and it frames long prison sentences as something to aspire toward,” says journalist Rachelle Hampton. “It very much sets up a neat line between us—people who are not incarcerated—and them, people who are incarcerated.”

To this day, reporters enable law enforcement to spread misleading statistics—to suggest, with scant evidence, that major cities, including New York, are suffering through an unprecedented rise in crime. That, too, is false.

“We end up misrepresenting what the world actually looks like,” says Lowery.

Or as Jean Murley, author of “The Rise of True Crime,” puts it: “Modern true crime is almost a fantasy genre.”

How did this happen? And what, if anything, can we do about it?

[gdelgiproducer]

DOTV AU: An Exercise in Alternate History (Part VII)

Parts I, II, III, IV, V, and VI offer more detailed context. (To briefly sum up why these posts are happening: alt history – as in sci fi, not “alternative facts” – buff, one day got the idea that DOTV could have turned out hella different if Jim Steinman looked for a star lead in other places, decided to reason out how that might work.) This is still getting a good response, so I’m gonna keep the train rolling.

Parts of the AU timeline established so far:

Instead of stopping at recording two songs from Whistle Down the Wind on a greatest hits compilation, Meat Loaf wound up taking more of an interest in Steinman’s new theater work than he did in our timeline, and through a series of circumstances found himself volunteering to play Krolock in the impending DOTV when Jim poured out his woes to him about needing to find some sort of star to attract investors. At a loss for any better ideas, Jim accepted Meat’s impulsive proposal, but not without resistance from his manager, David Sonenberg, who proposed Michael Crawford as an alternate candidate. Through quick thinking on Meat’s part, and inspiration on Jim’s, Crawford left the room accepting an entirely different role than he walked in hoping to get, leaving Krolock still open for Meat.

There was a brief speed bump, when Meat disliked Jim’s English script for the show, but after meeting with the original German author Michael Kunze and convincing Jim to compromise, things were on the road to being back on track… at least until 9/11 occurred.

Following a brief hiatus, everyone involved met to re-assess their options. The current game-plan was to put the new script on paper, schmooze with potential investors or producers, and put together a new creative team. Preferably not all at the same time, but with the crunch on, they’d do whatever needed to be done.

So far, the schmoozing has gone well, but everybody that Meat, Jim, and the crew would like to be involved is tentative. The newest conclusion is that they need to show them there’s a working show, and a concert of selections from the score seems to be the route they’re taking, possibly financed by an unlikely source.

Continuing the alternate DOTV timeline, a little differently this time! This time we get a feature on the concert from the New York Post’s own Michael Riedel. Take it away!

VAMPIRES: NEW MUSICAL BLOOD by Michael Riedel

If you’ve heard the buzz on the Rialto of late, you’d be forgiven for wondering if you were having a particularly nasty acid flashback. Dance of the Vampires, a new $15 million musical of the macabre based on the 1967 Roman Polanski movie The Fearless Vampire Killers, is already a monster hit in Austria and Germany, and it’s starting to gather steam here in the States as well, with some... we’ll call it unlikely... star power attached. After all, what other musical (even in a preliminary concert presentation) can boast Courtney Love as an emcee slash investor, and such disparate names as Meat Loaf and Michael Crawford as co-headliners?

Admittedly, Meat Loaf’s presence is slightly less surprising, as the driving force behind the show is Jim Steinman, who wrote Mr. Loaf’s classic Bat Out of Hell albums as well as the lyrics for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Whistle Down the Wind.  He has written the score and is co-adapting the book for Vampires with playwright David Ives (All in the Timing), who is also currently at work with Steinman for Warner Bros. on a musical version of Batman, from German dramatist Michael Kunze’s original script. He also co-directed this concert with Starmites composer Barry Keating, though early reports that Steinman would be co-directing the eventual Broadway run with Jane Eyre creator John Caird have ultimately been dismissed.

“Roman directed it in Vienna, but he can’t work here because of his legal problems,” Steinman said, referring to Polanski’s indictment for statutory rape in the 1970′s. “He may be the first director who can’t work over here because of a statutory rape charge.” When queried about who then would be directing the New York run, Steinman was tight-lipped, but among those in attendance at the evening’s proceedings was Urinetown’s Tony-winning helmer, John Rando, who is now rumored to be in talks for the slot. Said Rando of the new show, “It takes the vampire myth and pokes fun at it, but it also embraces it. Its message is about the excesses of appetite. It has wit and an edge to it. I’d love to be involved!”

The presentation (at the 499-seat Little Shubert Theatre, about half a mile west of Broadway; events like this cause us rightfully to wonder why it doesn’t see more use) for a by-invitation-only crowd was kicked off by Ms. Love, Hole rocker and widow of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, in memorable form. Says a source in attendance, “You could sum it up in two words: too drunk. She was literally falling over. She wasn’t coherent at all.” Managing to gather herself enough to announce that Dance of the Vampires is a musical for people “who think musicals suck,” she didn’t manage to say much else of importance. “It just became a little too sloppy, and she was removed.” Insiders report that Steinman’s manager, David Sonenberg, who is also one of the show’s producers (and a first-timer at that), worried that those involved would be seen as taking advantage of a troubled addict. Ms. Love’s performance did little to dispel this perception. Lucky that representatives from noted L.A.-based promoter Concerts West, major music manager Irving Azoff (who numbers The Eagles, REO Speedwagon, Journey, Christina Aguilera, and Sammy Hagar among his clients), film and music mogul Jerry Weintraub, and Broadway’s own Barry and Fran Weissler were in attendance; a cash infusion from such sources may well be needed to save face if she can’t “live through this,” to twist a phrase from her 1994 album of the same name.

In addition to Sonenberg, already attached to Vampires on the producing side are Andrew Braunsberg (another first-timer, who also produced Polanski’s 1971 film version of Macbeth), Leonard Soloway, Bob Boyett (Sweet Smell of Success, Topdog/Underdog), Lawrence Horowitz (Electra, It Ain’t Nothing But the Blues), and Barry Diller and Bill Haber’s USA Ostar Theatricals. Boyett, a TV producer turned legit entrepreneur, used the phrases “trial by fire” and “going to war,” perhaps because while some novice producers just put up the money, get the credit and run, Boyett says he’s been taking the process very seriously: “I went to all the meetings and learned, like it was grad school.” While some Hollywood types find Broadway “less cutthroat,” Boyett finds it “more restrictive.” He mentions the sheer physical space of the theaters but also all the rules and regulations: "I’ve dealt with unions all my life, but I do find Actors’ Equity is very restrictive to the creative process.” Further, he regrets that Vampires will not have an out-of-town tryout. “I loved the experience of taking Sweet Smell of Success to Chicago,” he says with real enthusiasm, as if the project ended happily. “It was helpful to have the critics say what they did.” Not that Boyett thinks the right message from the critics got to the creative team. 

As for Boyett’s teammates, Bill Haber attended on behalf of USA Ostar, and although he wouldn’t consent to a formal interview, he couldn’t resist answering one question -- and it has nothing to do with Dance of the Vampires. Why is Haber’s other fall production, Imaginary Friends by Nora Ephron, being called a play if it has six songs by Marvin Hamlisch and Craig Carnelia? “It has nothing to do with how many songs there are,” he shot back. “It has to do with the fact that if you took all the songs out, it still works and you still have a play.”

And all this before we even get to the show itself. Vampires is your typical erotic musical about an innocent girl (played this evening by impressive newcomer Mandy Gonzalez, currently standing by for the role of Amneris in Aida and late of Off-Broadway’s Eli’s Comin’) choosing between two lovers, in this case an older, aristocratic vampire (Loaf, whose appearance here marks the first time he has worked with Steinman in theater since the early Seventies) and a hunky young grad student (Max von Essen, who reportedly also appeared in the Steinman/Caird-helmed reading in April 2001) under the tutelage of a rather intensely wacky vampire hunter (Crawford). Given the level of Loaf’s obvious commitment to the piece, it is surprising that his manager (Allen Kovac, of Left Bank Management) was a no-show, and in that light, rumors that Loaf has yet to formally sign on the dotted line for Vampires (in spite of previous announcements to the contrary, no less) prove even more curious. Calls to Kovac’s office were not returned. The rest of the cast, boasting some fine voices indeed, was filled out by assorted Broadway names and members of Meat Loaf’s long-time touring band, The Neverland Express, which also provided accompaniment for the evening under the crisp musical direction of veteran rock bassist Kasim Sulton (best known for his work with Todd Rundgren and Utopia, among others).

Speaking of the music: the score, as per Steinman’s usual style, is appropriately big and Wagnerian, with plenty of luscious, operatic melodies, including one familiar favorite that sticks out like a sore thumb: Steinman’s famous “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” under whose operatic pretensions I swooned as a teenager. “I couldn’t resist using it,” he says of a song that goes, ‘Once upon time there was light in my life / But now there’s only love in the dark.’ “I actually wrote it for another vampire musical that was based on Nosferatu, but never got produced.” Close listening to the CD sampler for interested investors also reveals a rehash of the vigorous “Tonight Is What It Means to Be Young,” his song for the film Streets of Fire, which I saw in Los Angeles in 1984 and sent me racing along Mulholland Drive to keep up with the propulsive beat.

As for the new stuff, maybe 50′s rock ‘n’ roll with a 70′s preen isn’t what the 80-year-olds who constitute Broadway’s audience want to hear (and Jim’s rock-mock-Wagnerian shtick admittedly tends to play better in London and Las Vegas than in Manhattan), but my sources say they knew from the first number --  an angelic trio with a beguiling (what did they used to call it?) melody and some expert (the Andrews Sisters used to do it) harmony -- that this would be my kind of score. Frankly I’m glad; since the prehistoric vinyl days, Steinman has been the guy I keep calling for to rejuvenate, or just plain juvenate, the Broadway musical, in a world where the musical theater establishment pronounces old ABBA records a hip pop sound.

The book, while reportedly in better shape than the April reading, is something else again. From the excerpts on display last night, the mix of bawdy humor and eroticism still needs fine-tuning. Says Sonenberg, “By the time we open, it will be a new version of the show, significantly changed with a view toward a New York audience, but right now it plays very much like the original in several respects.” Adds David Ives, “The German production is probably more faithful to the film, but it’s a fairly humorless show, with people getting hit on the head with salami. And I’ve been brought in to take out the salami and put in the chorus girls, without veering into camp in the process. Now it’s just a question of finding the balance, which, needless to say, isn’t easy. But I like what we’ve accomplished so far: Meat’s character is vastly different, a much more multifaceted, dynamic, complete figure. We’ve also made other changes and cuts and restructured the show into a book musical, with dialogue; the original is all sung. I think we’ve made it a much more interesting story.”

Time, as always, will be the ultimate arbiter of fate.

[feywildatheart]

Nenîth,

We had such a good time at our lunch! Of course, as soon as everyone started showing up, Elyn started calling it a party, like she knew that word would send a flock of butterflies flitting about in my stomach and she didn't want to use it until our friends had come and I couldn't flee without my absence being noticed. And she probably wasn't wrong. But in any case, it was nothing like the parties we attended on Rugira Prime, and I'm glad for it. Cloudleaper begged off of attending, unfortunately, because she'd come down with a sore throat, but Elyn and I went and there was such good food, and Drime wouldn't let us help with any of it, and as soon as the kids arrived Jesson started running around eagerly saying hello to everyone, and Squirt and I went over to greet him and let him get some scritches in.

While we were doing that, apparently Niko found Elyn and gifted her with the fabric we'd seen on the loom when we'd stopped by her place -- all that talk downplaying it, saying it wasn't much to look at, and it turns out it was a gift all along! Elyn's brother, Tyko, apparently got in contact with her, and between them and some help from one of the scientists Elyn befriended on Honione (my head positively swims thinking about all these friends, spread on separate planets in disparate parts of the galaxy, coming together to do this thing for Elyn, and she looked like her head was swimming at the thought of it, too), Niko wove that cloth to be conductive, so that Elyn could use it to upgrade her gloves. She came over to find me and show it to me after, I think, she'd finished exclaiming over it to Niko, and we spent a few moments just clamoring about how lovely and thoughtful it was, and the children and I listened eagerly while Elyn started telling us about the plans she had for it and the sort of things she could do with it. For as long as we've been traveling together, I'm afraid I still didn't understand half the things she was talking about, and she already looked like her thoughts were spinning off ten steps ahead of her mouth so I didn't want to stop her to ask her to explain anything, but it was nice just to see her so excited and enthusiastic about it all.

We spent some time just catching up with people, at the start, but Elyn noticed Lorraine looking a little haggard as she ran after Jesson, trying to corral him, and so Elyn swooped in and distracted him with a story about tiefling birthday party dances that she learned from Tyko. Jesson wanted her to teach him how to do them, and I chimed in that I'd love to learn too, although apparently they're at least related to the dance she taught me when we got drunk together on Sumula Station, so I had a head start on learning it and was glad for it. (Elyn, when I said as much, tried to protest that I was light on my feet and should be good at it, but I reminded her that no one who'd seen us trip all over ourselves with Daisy would believe so.) Jesson threw himself into it with more enthusiasm than grace, but it was delightful to watch, and it was good just to be dancing with friends and in a place where we didn't have the fate of a child or a city or a king's life hanging on the balance of whether we executed the steps right or not.

Elyn taught us another dance, too, an elven wedding dance called the Funky Griffin that was great fun, and had us all in peals of laughter, and then I encouraged Niko to share some of her people's dances with us. She seemed a little reluctant at first, and said that they really were better suited to her home plane, but she tried to give us a demonstration all the same, and if what we got was the less impressive version then I can't even imagine what the real thing looks like, because it was lovely and graceful and had my jaw on the floor right from the start, as she jumped and leaped about the place.

Elyn and I taught everyone one of the simpler Mashoy dances that we'd learned, too, though she was better at remembering the steps than I was, I had to take my cue from her more than once. And probably anyone at the Fesdi's party would have turned their nose up at what we managed, but everyone seemed to be having fun, and if there'd been balconies to watch from I'd wager that the patterns we all made across the floor of Drime's in would have been just lovely all the same, even if they weren't quite what they were meant to be.

We all wore ourselves out with all the dancing, and worked up an appetite, and so we were all glad to collapse into chairs at the tables and have our lunch, I think. Ren was rather idly plucking out a tune while we all ate, but when they shifted from that into the opening notes of the Ballad of Perrick Starstriker, of course I had to hop up from the table and go over to sit near them and listen. They nudged me with their boot until I joined in, though I daresay their voice is better than mine. But it's a folk song, anyway, and meant to be sung by anyone who cares to, not just those with a clear fine voice and a bard's training. Some of the others joined in, too, or tried their best to on the chorus, when it's clear most of them don't know a word of Halfling. They did their best, though, and it was charming and delightful and made my heart swell so full I thought it might burst right out of my chest. It reminded me of home, of you, of all those times we sat close to one another in the night where there was no work left to be done for the day and we sang it, the three of us together. It made me so glad, even as it made me a little bit homesick. You wouldn't think I would be, when that was the closest to home I've felt in months. You'd think I'd have been more so on Rugira Prime, surrounded by all that heat and sand and not a tree in sight as far as the eye can see. But it was like getting a bite of your favorite food, and remembering all the reasons why it's your favorite, but then only getting that one bite when you want to eat the whole plate. It made me feel closer to home, and to you both, but without the twilight sky above us and your arms wrapped around me, it's only going to remind me how far away you really are.

This probably makes me sound like I'm sad or like I regret what I'm doing and the choices I've made, but I don't. Please don't think that. I had a wonderful time at the party and I was so very glad for all of it, even the singing. Especially the singing. I just wish there was a way to do what I need to and be with you both, all at the same time. Writing these letters to you helps, and I pore over every word you send back to me, but I miss the sound of your voices, and your faces, and the way your hair smells when I hug you tight.

Anyway! Here I tried to make this all less maudlin, and I just made it more so. Please don't worry about me, nenîth, I really am happy. I can be happy and miss you at the same time. I've just had too much time to myself, too much time to think, these past few days while the Seles Emsel has been taking us back to Mir, because Elyn has spent most of it holed up with her new fabric, testing and experimenting so she can figure out how to use it to upgrade her gloves, and I've been loathe to interrupt her at it. And Cloudleaper's fine company, but she's prone to abruptly start yelling at her LICD, so mostly it's just been Squirt and me keeping one another company, and I think that's probably just given me too much time to think and reflect and miss you. We'll be back on Mir within the next day or so, though, and then we'll likely have information from Athan and Kian, and smugglers to hunt down, and I'm sure we'll be so busy that we'll be wondering why we ever left Nosirion-1 and our friends and our little mini-vacation behind.

I love you both, with all my heart.

Maliah

[patriotsnet]

Why Republicans Are Wrong About Everything

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-republicans-are-wrong-about-everything/

Why Republicans Are Wrong About Everything

Why So Many Republicans Cling To Trump

Saagar Enjeti: Trump, GOP, On Wrong Side Of EVERYTHING Since Coronavirus Began

Ben Shapiro got part of it right. A toxic mix of status anxiety, persecution fears, and echoes of the Civil War helps explain why they follow Trump into the abyss.

On September 17, 1862, over 10,000 Confederate soldiers were killed, wounded, or went missing in a single day at the Battle of Antietam. Very few of them came from slave-owning families, so why did they agree to give their lives in defense of human bondage?

I was reminded of this question when I noticed that Politico Playbook had recruited conservative celebrity and author Ben Shapiro;to explain why the vast majority of House Republicans voted not to impeach President Trump on Wednesday for sending a murderous mob after them on January 6. Politico was slammed by liberals for opening its best-known section to a conservative whos been charged with being bigoted and intolerant. But Shapiros explanation of the rallying around Trump during his final days wasnt totally off base. He was on to something about how Republicans see the world.

With Trump leaving office within a week, defending his incitement of an insurrection doesnt seem to be in the long-term self-interest of Republican officeholders.;But the Civil War example helps explain why people sometimes do very self-destructive things out of spite or insecurity.

White supremacy was such a consensus view at the time that Lincoln felt compelled to defend it.

Like the rebels at Antietam, no one wants to die for nothing.

Support Nonprofit Journalism

Why Are Republicans So Mean

Let’s state right off-the-bat that conservatives indeed have much to offer. In fact, the very notion of conservatism itself keeps us grounded in tradition and prevents our society from spinning into the chaos of constant flux that would surely result if we were to impetuously pursue every new liberal idea to spring forth from our fertile minds. And conservatives admirably believe in America, established order, family, freedom, and success. This all sounds wonderful.

But when it comes to other people who happen to be different from the establishment, Republicans seem to be downright mean and nasty.

We are constantly reminded of the meanness of Republicans over and over again. One recent example is evident in the xenophobic remarks of the Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, who recently referred to Mexican and other immigrants as rapists and murderers.

Basic common sense, however, tells us that human beings are not any more or less violent based upon where on a map they happened to have been born. And the evidence in studies bears this out as well by indicating that immigrants are no more likely to be violent than members of the overall population. Makes sense.

But Republicans seem to harbor some sort of a fear of foreigners and an aversion against other kinds of people who are not part of the established in-group. Their view seems to be that these other people are not like us, they pose a threat to us , and thus automatically they should be regarded as enemies.

There Arent Real Forces Within The Gop Leading Change

There is some appetite for change within the GOP. In those 2024 polls, at least a third of Republicans either were supporting a GOP presidential candidate other than Trump or were undecided.;

In YouGov Blues polling, only about 40 percent of Republicans identified themselves as Trump Republicans. A recent survey from Fabrizio, Lee and Associates, a GOP-leaning firm that worked on Trumps presidential campaigns, found that about 40 percent of Republican voters didnt want Trump to continue to be a leader in the party. Those numbers dont necessarily mean that those voters want the GOP to change drastically. But there is a substantial number of Trump-skeptical/ready-to-move-on-from-Trump Republican voters. But that sentiment isnt really showing up in the Republican Partys actions during the last three months basically everything GOP officials in states and in Washington are doing lines up with the Trumpian approach. So what gives?;

related:Why The Recent Violence Against Asian Americans May Solidify Their Support Of Democrats Read more. »

It is hard to see Republicans changing course, even if a meaningful minority of voters in the party wants changes, without some elite institutions and powerful people in the party pushing a new vision. And its hard to see real anti-Trumpism forces emerging in the GOP right now.;

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Reality Check : Biden Cant Be Fdr

Theres no question that Biden is swinging for the fences. Beyond the emerging bipartisan infrastructure bill, he has proposed a far-reaching series of programs that would collectively move the United States several steps closer to the kind of social democracy prevalent in most industrialized nations: free community college, big support for childcare and homebound seniors, a sharp increase in Medicaid, more people eligible for Medicare, a reinvigorated labor movement. It is why 100 days into the administration, NPR was asking a commonly heard question: Can Biden Join FDR and LBJ In The Democratic Party’s Pantheon?

But the FDR and LBJ examples show conclusively why visions of a transformational Biden agenda are so hard to turn into reality. In 1933, FDR had won a huge popular and electoral landslide, after which he had a three-to-one Democratic majority in the House and a 59-vote majority in the Senate. Similarly, LBJ in 1964 had won a massive popular and electoral vote landslide, along with a Senate with 69 Democrats and a House with 295. Last November, on the other hand, only 42,000 votes in three key states kept Trump from winning re-election. Democrats losses in the House whittled their margin down to mid-single digits. The Senate is 50-50.

Most Republicans Said That President Obama Should Be Impeached Because Of The 2012 Attack On The Us Consulate In Benghazi

Their own investigations, however, proved them wrong. Every Congressional inquiry, including those by the Republican-led House Intelligence Committee, concluded that the Obama administration did nothing wrong regarding Benghazi, that there was no stand down order given, and that neither the President nor anyone in his administration lied about it. Each and every Republican investigation has reached this same conclusion, but Republicans continue to exploit this tragedy for political gain.

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Nominating Mitt Romney For President

Despite the failure to grab the Senate, the GOP was still riding strong anti-Obamacare sentiment and voter frustration over the slow recovery from the Great Recession. Much of this was fueled by the Tea Party movement, which added a rare Republican grassroots element to the GOP.

When you think about it now, all of that made former Mitt Romney an extremely odd choice for the Republican nomination for president in 2012. He embodied the establishment GOP in almost every way. Romney had years as a hedge fund manager at Bain Capital on his resume at a time when most Americans were still blaming Wall Street for the nation’s economic woes. Worst of all, his universal health coverage plan enacted while he was governor of Massachusetts looked eerily like Obamacare. In fact, “Romneycare” was seen as one of the models the crafters of the Affordable Care Act used when they wrote the law. If the GOP wanted to put up a candidate who invigorated its anti-Obamacare and increasingly anti-establishment base, they couldn’t have missed the mark much more than they did with Mitt Romney.

Bidens Bill Is More Popular

We live in the middle of an era of tremendous polarization, yet Joe Bidens American Rescue Plan is shockingly popular. Its one of the most popular, least polarizing pieces of legislation in recent memory. According to a recent Politico/Morning Consultpoll, 76 percent of voters support Bidens plan, including a majority of Republicans.

Its worth noting that most polls show that 70 percent or so of Republicans believe Joe Biden is an illegitimate president. Therefore, a large segment of people who think Biden stole the election also supports his COVID and economic recovery plans.

Obamas Recovery Act was never this popular. A January 2009 Gallup poll found that the public favored Obamas plan 52 percent to 38 percent.

These are good numbers but nowhere near the sky-high popularity of the Biden plan. At the time of this poll, Obamas approval rating was hovering around 70 percent. Bidens plan is more popular than he is Bidens job approval is 52.8 per FiveThirtyEight. That disparity is evidence of Bidens COVID plan’s political durability and the dangerous game Republicans are playing by opposing it. People who dont like Biden but like his plan are the exact people who the Republicans need to win over to take back Congress.

Read Also: How Many States Are Controlled By Republicans

Times Republicans Were Wrong

It’s no secret that politicians tend to use exaggerated political rhetoric to get people to vote for them. In recent decades, Republicans have repeatedly made very ominous predictions about the horrors that will result from Democratic policies while painting a rosy picture of what will result from Republican policies. Now we have the luxury of looking back over the years to examine those predictions and policies. Below, you will find twenty-one examples of times Republicans were blatantly wrong.

Taking The Perspective Of Others Proved To Be Really Hard

Why both Democrats and Republicans are wrong on inflation

The divide in the United States is wide, and one indication of that is how difficult our question proved for many thoughtful citizens. A 77-year-old Republican woman from Pennsylvania was typical of the voters who struggled with this question, telling us, This is really hard for me to even try to think like a devilcrat!, I am sorry but I in all honesty cannot answer this question. I cannot even wrap my mind around any reason they would be good for this country.

Similarly, a 53-year-old Republican from Virginia said, I honestly cannot even pretend to be a Democrat and try to come up with anything positive at all, but, I guess they would vote Democrat because they are illegal immigrants and they are promised many benefits to voting for that party. Also, just to follow what others are doing. And third would be just because they hate Trump so much. The picture she paints of the typical Democratic voter being an immigrant, who goes along with their party or simply hates Trump will seem like a strange caricature to most Democratic voters. But her answer seems to lack the animus of many.;;

Democrats struggled just as much as Republicans. A 33-year-old woman from California told said, i really am going to have a hard time doing this but then offered that Republicans are morally right as in values, going to protect us from terrorest and immigrants, going to create jobs.

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Reality Check #: The Electoral College And The Senate Are Profoundly Undemocraticand Were Stuck With Them

Because the Constitution set up a state-by-state system for picking presidents, the massive Democratic majorities we now see in California and New York often mislead us about the partys national electoral prospects. In 2016, Hillary Clintons 3-million-vote plurality came entirely from California. In 2020, Bidens 7-million-vote edge came entirely from California and New York. These are largely what election experts call wasted votesDemocratic votes that dont, ultimately, help the Democrat to win. That imbalance explains why Trump won the Electoral College in 2016 and came within a handful of votes in three states from doing the same last November, despite his decisive popular-vote losses.

The response from aggrieved Democrats? Abolish the Electoral College! In practice, theyd need to get two-thirds of the House and Senate, and three-fourths of the state legislatures, to ditch the process that gives Republicans their only plausible chance these days to win the White House. Shortly after the 2016 election, Gallup found that Republican support for abolishing the electoral college had dropped to 19 percent. The National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, a state-by-state scheme to effectively abolish the Electoral College without changing the Constitution, hasnt seen support from a single red or purple state.

Surrendering Before The Battle

The midterm elections of 2014 gave the Republicans control of the Senate that they should have won in 2010. But even before the new members took their oaths of office, then-Senate Majority Leader-elect Mitch McConnell promised never to trigger a government shutdown. That effectively took the sharpest arrow out of the GOP’s congressional quiver, and again relieved the greatest pressure the Republicans could have exercised against Obama.

Don’t Miss: Did Donald Trump Say Republicans Are The Dumbest Group Of Voters

Unified Republican Opposition To Obama’s Policies Helped Them Retake Congress In 2010 Here’s Why It May Not Work Again

When the House of Representatives passed President Bidens COVID-relief plan last weekend, every single Republican voted against it. Earlier this week, Senator John Thune, Mitch McConnells deputy, predicted that every Republican Senator would vote against the Biden plan. Thunes reasoning was typically cynical. He said the Republicans wanted to:

make the Democrats own a piece of legislation that I think is going to have long-term adverse consequences.

This was the latest example of Republicans saying the quiet part out loud. Thune is admitting they are making a bet that the Biden plan wont work, and Republicans can reap the political rewards of a sub-standard economy in 2022. This is the same bet the Republicans made in 2009 when they decided to oppose Barack Obamas efforts to address the financial crisis.

Politically, the 2009 bet paid off. The Republicans rode a wave of economic discontent to control of the House and a massive set of wins down-ballot that would impact politics for more than a decade. But just because it worked then doesnt mean it will work now. The Republicans may be making a massive miscalculation by re-fighting the last war.

Republicans Said President Obama Would Raise Taxes Sky High

It never happened. Income taxes for over 95% of Americans remained the same or lower than they were before Obama was elected. The only people whose income taxes increased were those who make more than $400,000 per year, and their taxes rose only 3%. For most Americans, taxes are still lower now than they were under Reagan.

Read Also: Trump Quote In People Magazine 1998

Blowing The Midterm Elections

The 2008 elections gave Barack Obama a clear win in the presidential election and the Democrats a filibuster-proof supermajority in Congress. They proceeded to spend that political capital almost entirely on passing Obamacare in a lengthy process that included a number of unusual compromises with their own party members, like the “Cornhusker Kickback” and controversial legislative tricks like the “deemed as passed” maneuver. All of this took place even as the Affordable Care Act failed to gain majority support in the polls.

That set the stage for a strong Republican advantage going into the 2010 midterm elections. On paper, the GOP did score a resounding victory, picking up 63 seats in the House of Representatives and a net gain of six seats in the Senate.

But Republicans blew a solid chance to retake the Senate. They put up weak candidates in several winnable races. They included Sharon Angle in Nevada, who was seen as too radical and managed to lose to then-incumbent Harry Reid despite his very weak approval ratings in his home state. Arch-abortion opponent Ken Buck won the GOP nomination in Colorado, . The biggest mistake of all was Christine O’Donnell in Delaware. O’Donnell lost after she became infamous for her revelation that she had once experimented with witchcraft.

As a result, the Democrats kept control of the Senate and the Republicans lost a chance to force Obama into what could have been a series of advantageous compromises over the next six years.

The Gop Is A Grave Threat To American Democracy

Unless and until Republicans summon the wit and the will to salvage the party, ruin will follow.

About the author: Peter Wehner is a contributing writer at The Atlantic and a senior fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He writes widely on political, cultural, religious, and national-security issues, and he is the author of The Death of Politics: How to Heal Our Frayed Republic After Trump.

The hope of many conservative critics of Donald Trump was that soon after his defeat, and especially in the aftermath of the January 6 insurrection, the Republican Party would snap back into its former shape. The Trump presidency would end up being no more than an ugly parenthesis. The GOP would distance itself from Trump and Trumpism, and become a normal party once again.

But that dream soon died. The Trump presidency might have been the first act in a longer and even darker political drama, in which the Republican Party is becoming more radicalized. How long this will last is an open question; whether it is happening is not.

To better grasp whats happening among 2020 Trump voters, I spoke with Sarah Longwell, a lifelong conservative and political strategist who is now the publisher of The Bulwark, a news and opinion website that is home to anti-Trump conservatives. She is also the founder of Republican Voters Against Trump, now the Republican Accountability Project.

Recommended Reading: Donald Trump People Magazine Article 1998

Prior To Going To War In Iraq Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld Optimistically Predicted The Iraq War Might Last Six Days Six Weeks I Doubt Six Months

What’s more, Vice-President Dick Cheney said we would be greeted as liberators by the Iraqi people after we overthrow Saddam.

They were both horribly wrong. Instead of six weeks or six months, the Iraq war lasted eight long and bloody years costing thousands of American lives. It led to an Iraqi civil war between the Sunnis and the Shiites that took hundreds of thousands of Iraqi lives. Many Iraqi militia groups were formed to fight against the U.S. forces that occupied Iraq. Whats more, Al Qaeda, which did not exist in Iraq before the war, used the turmoil in Iraq to establish a new foothold in that country.

The Iraq war was arguably the most tragic foreign policy blunder in US history.

[falkenscreen]

“We’ve Seen A Real Appetite For Film” – Sydney Film Festival Online

“The response from our audience has been fantastic, we’ve seen a real appetite for film.”

With the Sydney Film Fest in full swing online Festival junkees and toe-dippers alike still get to enjoy the early-June staple amongst friends even if we’re a little further apart this year. With the annual ‘Europe! Voices of Women in Film’ strand now taking on an even stronger pride of place amidst a less expansive yet still premiere Program, with individual tickets and Fest passes now on sale, Sydney Film Festival Director Nashen Moodley sat down to talk 2020 and highlights.

“Europe! Voices of Women in Film, run in collaboration with European Film Promotion, showcases films from some of Europe’s most vital female filmmakers – many of whom we introduce to Australian audiences for the first time,” said Nashen. “From gripping Irish sci-fi thriller ‘Sea Fever’ to gritty German love story ‘Kids Run’ and daring Swedish drama ‘Charter,’ each film brings something unique to the Festival and enriches the overall program.”

Amidst the selection ‘Sea Fever,’ a flick that would likely have otherwise been programmed in the ‘Freak Me Out’ strand, stands out as a high point among both the retrospective and premiere selections. A mix of sci-fi, thriller, horror, fantasy and folklore set far off the west coast of Ireland (our full review here), there’s a fair amount of emerging talent behind and in front of the camera worth having on your radar.

‘Kids Run,’ covering the career and life of an amateur boxer and struggling father of three, hits a lot of the strides of many a familiar fight flick; notably excelling in it’s final, sport-centric stretch when a key contest turns on a beat novel to boxing dramas making much better use of the ring as an analogy for perseverance, as is commonly the case, than most.

‘Charter,’ likewise about a struggling parent, the fallout of a broken relationship and too benefiting greatly from well-cast child actors, navigates contentious and deliberately nebulous material sometimes to great effect and inevitably wildly different interpretations. One karaoke sequence, appearing at the outset as if characters are pointedly going to sing their feelings to the audience and all concerned, turns out to be one of the best in show; doing well to tease out the dynamic between the three family members (see here for further coverage).

‘Our Law,’ a highlight of the program and an Australian entry, has deservedly garnered much attention amidst rising awareness of racial prejudice and disparity in Australia and across the globe following the reported tragic deaths of Indigenous Australians, African Americans at the hands of Police Officers and the Black Lives Matter and related protests.

Created prior to most recent events (see here for our interview with Director Cornel Ozies), the film is instructive in how cultural sensitivity, knowledge of communities and use of language can be beneficial to law enforcement; chronicling examples of regular challenges and personal hurdles faced by two Western Australian Officers.  

“’Our Law’ explores the nature of Police work from the unique perspective of Officers working at Western Australia’s only Indigenous run Police Station,” said Nashen. “It is a particularly significant film as it explores whether Indigenous officers are the key to dismantling prejudiced Police culture from within – a topic that is both very relevant and underexplored.

“In light of the Black Lives Matter movement, the film’s overarching themes are particularly pertinent in today’s socio-political climate.”

Having gone wholly online for the first time ever, amidst numerous Festivals doing so, SFF achieving such to date represents within Australia a unique undertaking given the scale of the project, breadth of the audience and extent and nature of premiere features on offer.

“We are exceptionally grateful for the continued support of filmmakers, Government funders, partners, donors and our audience for helping make the virtual Festival such a success,” continued Nashen.

“We do not currently have plans for an online component in future years. The Festival very much looks forward to seeing our audience in cinemas next year for a fully immersive and connected Sydney Film Festival.”

on Film Fight Club

on Festevez

[tipsycad147]

Five hard truths about magick

Posted by Michelle Gruben on Mar 29, 2019

Of the many laws of magick, there are a few that you’ll never see on a T-shirt or affirmation board. Here, we’ll cover some of the tough stuff: The harsh, the unsettling, the ambiguous facts of living an enchanted life.

This article was inspired by some recent discussions of false positivity—that is, the habitual repetition of encouraging words and images. In short, false positivity means well, but it does harm by shutting down discussion of anything problematic. You can’t hide the truth forever—and when you try, it seeps out in sneaky and unexpected ways.

There are certain aspects of magick that are difficult to come to terms with. The purpose of airing them is not to discourage anyone from their path, but to counter some of the shallow advice and empty promises that the witchy blogosphere churns out.

It’s time for some straight talk about magick—some Swords to go with your Cups, some Rue with your Roses.

1. It's not for everybody.

Can anyone become a Witch? Any honest answer to this question is complicated. In some ways, yes—the magickal arts are open to all who seek them. In other ways, no. Some people lack the gifts, the learning—but most often, the dedication—to become effective practitioners of the Craft.

These two are the fundamental magickal skills: The ability to alter reality through will. And, the ability to perceive things beyond the normal senses. These experiences are part of our natural state of being. They are, in a sense, the birthright of every conscious creature.

Yet these abilities are constrained on our earthly plane and must be located and cultivated. You need a strong will to accomplish this. It takes repetition. It takes humility. It often requires help from others—partners, spirits, plants, disparate parts of self—whose cooperation you must earn.

In short, excelling in magick is just like excelling in business or music or athletics. Not every aspirant will have what it takes. Talent only gets you so far. Hard work isn’t always enough. Sometimes you do everything right and still don’t get the results you want.

It’s not easy. It’s not for everyone (or at least, not all of the time).

2. Real witchcraft isn't photogenic.

Thick black eyeliner, a bespoke cloak, moon tattoos, and a table full of Amethysts—that’s what magick is made of, right? Sure, if you believe the internet. Like so many other things, witchcraft has been co-opted in recent years by lifestyle bloggers and taste makers, advertisers and influences. Super-stylish, just-edgy-enough witchy pics go hand-in-hand with the idea that magick is a piece of cake.

What’s wrong with enjoying all these highly preformative images of witchcraft? Nothing! There’s no reason a person can’t be genuinely magickal and also extremely good at self-presentation. Visual art is a kind of magick, too. However, let’s not make the mistake of confusing Instagram witches with the real thing.

It’s even possible for personal magick and social media to work at cross-purposes. Oversharing violates the principle of magickal silence—the idea that talking about your workings can dilute or disperse their energy. People who endlessly photograph their working tools, altars, and ritual garments are arguably siphoning off some of their power for the sake of likes and followers.

Thinking back about the most powerful magick I’ve witnessed, much of it has been in the dark, among old or shabbily dressed people, with nary a smartphone in sight. The most eye-opening books I own are crappy dog-eared paperbacks that would look terrible in a tableau with a crystal pendant and a sprig of Rosemary. Pinterest offers no altar porn for the third eye…you’ll have to find those goodies on your own.

3. Magick is dangerous.

The Satanic Panic of the 1990s was in full swing when I first embarked on my magickal studies. The media often reported on the addiction, insanity, and death that were the obvious consequences of dabbling in the occult. Religious tracts and books warned against the dangers of “gateway” activities like drum circles and Harry Potter books. I used to hoard these writings and snicker at them. What a quaint idea—that devils stalk the earth, seeking the ruin of souls through Ouija boards and zodiac pendants!

With more experience, I see a grain of truth in those zealous warnings. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies out there, folks. Different magicians have different opinions about whether spirit entities have an external reality or only dwell within the mind of the magick worker. I can’t prove it either way, of course. But my own instinct says that entities are real, they have independent consciousness, and not all of them have your best interests in mind.

Not scared of spirits? Fine—let’s go to the energy model of magick. Playing with spiritual technologies—meditation, invocation, astral travel—can cause extreme and rapid shifts in your energy body. They can wreck your appetite and mess with your sex life. They can effect changes in your mood and sleep cycle that will disrupt every aspect of your daily existence.

Other hazards of the occult are more pedestrian: You can become arrogant (common!). You can turn into a colossal bore who only talks to plants (and even the plants wish you would shut up). You can invite the scorn of people who don’t approve of your path, people who formerly respected you. It’s hard to keep your spiritual and mundane lives in balance—but it’s absolutely necessary if you want to make magick a lifelong quest.

Anything worthwhile carries some risk. With magick, we are talking about nothing less than the rapid evolution of the soul…so it only makes sense than the risks would be commensurate with the reward. Only you can weigh the dangers and decide if it’s worth doing. (See #1: It’s not for everybody.)

4. You (probably) need tools for effective spellwork.

“Cast spells without tools!”

“The secret of mental magick!”

“Advanced witchcraft!”

There’s a whole slew of authors and teachers offering instruction in tool-less spellcraft. And yeah, technically they’re correct: The only tool you really need is your focused, unadulterated Will.

But therein lies the problem. How many of us actually possess a focused, unadulterated Will? We’re human! Our thoughts are always mixed with distractions, mental noise, memories, and misgivings. Magick without tools is theoretically do-able…but in practice, it’s rarely as effective.

It’s true that intention is the most important component in spellwork. It’s true, also, that the more practised you become with certain skills (visualisation and trance induction), the less you tend to rely on the externals. However…

Magickal tools—and I’m not just saying this as a shop owner—tools play a very important role. Several roles, actually. That’s why Witches—yes, even “advanced” ones, have employed them for centuries.

What do tools accomplish that thoughts alone do not? Here’s a sampling:

1. Anchoring: Tools link your intention in the physical plane (which is where you want the results to manifest, right?) Most magick spells can be conceived as a kind of cycle—from earthly need to thought/will and back to physical action. Tools complete the loop by grounding your petition in the present time and place.

2. Distraction: Tools subvert the less-magickal parts of the brain (mental chatter, worries, skepticism) by engaging the older, more primal parts. Tying knots, lighting incense, and dressing candles are all classic ways to activate spells. You could say these actions let your magickal self do its work by keeping the mind and body busy.

3. Correspondence: Spell ingredients like herbs and candles contribute allied energies to your spell. The magickal brain is both literal and sensual. To a person who is very familiar with lemons, the thought of a lemon is enough to invoke Solar energy. But if you have an actual lemon—bright and yellow and soaked in the summer sun—that’s better, you know? I refer to Randall Garrett’s maxim: “The best symbol for a sharp knife is a sharp knife.”

4. Effort: The extra work of using tools is a gatekeeper that separates the worthy spells from the unworthy ones. When you go through the trouble to acquire and prepare materials, you’re signalling to your unconscious that this spell actually matters—and that will generally translate to better results.

Magickal tools don’t have to be complicated, and they don’t have to be expensive. (See our list of cheap and free witchcraft tools.) A candle and some oil. A pen and a piece of paper. Keep it focused: An over-encumbered spell is just as a bad as a flimsy one.

Unless you are a super-adept—like, the kind of master that comes along once in a zillion years—you probably can’t just speak or dream your desires into being. Spells without tools are more akin to…wishes. It’s fun to make a wish, but they usually don’t come true on their own.

5. There are no experts.

“We’re all apprentices in a craft where no one becomes a master.” Ernest Hemingway was referring to writing, but the same can certainly be said of the metaphysical arts.

Magick is a vast and mysterious topic. There’s a natural instinct to look up to people who have been at it longer than you, or who seem to be more sure of themselves. But while some people are objectively more accomplished, there’s nobody who’s got it all figured out. We are all grappling with the inexplicable mystery of consciousness. We are all grasping at forms we can’t possibly see the shape of.

It’s scary to realise that everybody else is basically flying blind. But it’s liberating, too. When you stop relying on others to show you the way, you can begin to truly explore your own power.

And there you have it...five tough nuggets. I don't expect that this will become one of my most popular blog posts ever, but I'm happy that I published it. What are your hard-won magickal truths? Share with other readers in the comments!

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/five-hard-truths-about-magick

[coachdog96-blog]

Things line up | Chinese-inspired chicken noodle soup

If I make it to the early yoga class, things line up so that I head in with unadulterated darkness behind me, but come back out to sun. It's a fleeting thing, but the contrast is especially bolstering. It adds to that ta-dah feeling of doing meaningful work to start your day. Crazy as it sounds, the making and eating of today's soup affords a similar feeling of goodwill. 

It's the Chinese-inspired Chicken Noodle Soup from Simply Nigella, a book which includes this cake — the most beautiful bundt imaginable, but also one so dulcet with the persuasive combo of five spice and apple cider that it's looks are rendered a second billing. Since the book came out late last year it's shouldered itself comfortably into a spot in my regular rotation. 

When it's me alone for lunch, brothy soups are my ideal. I make up some stock early in the week or late on the weekend, and then reheat it by the bowlful and cooking whatever add-ins I have around directly in my serving. Lawson's soup keys in on all that's appealing of that habit. The process is thoughtful and still the particulars are forgiving to fiddle to suit your likes.

Two days ago Sean brought home a plump but petite organic chicken, the perfect size to tuck snugly into a 4L cococtte. After a moment of bronzing, followed by a Shaoxing deglaze, the bird was joined by cilantro stalks, celery, and carrots, then water, garlic, ginger, soy, lime, and dried chiles. From there all is trusted to slowest blip and burble that can be maintained, under a lid clamped tight. But this, this is where it all shifts, goes sideways, and changes. What begins as intensely heady and clear, simmers into a with a wholly different character — one of redolent singularity rather than disparate components. 

The chicken came from its soak, pale and splendidly tender. The broth, deeply flavourful with supple weight on the spoon was a triumph, the ideal example of the alchemy of slow cooking. I ladled a clear, steaming cupful and drank it standing by the stove, in raspy slurps so that the air would cool it just enough to save my mouth. It made me feel lit up while soothed, like medicine and precious reward all in one.

When it came time for a proper serving, I laid a bed of noodles in my bowl then nudged some shredded chicken up beside. I brought the soup to another boil, and added leeks followed by Shanghai bok choy; first the stalks, then the leaves, so that the former was poached but the latter only wilted. At the table there came radishes, sesame oil, more soy sauce, the leaves from the cilantro now, and sesame seeds. The garnishes accentuated the broth — think of turning up the light rather than stealing the spotlight— and the slipping, tangled slide of noodles and vegetables went down with ease.

As an epilogue, the leftovers lasted three meals more, which made Monday's endeavour feel especially productive and satisfying. I hope you're having a great week. 

A quick endnote — Simply Nigella was photographed by my friend Keiko Oikawa and a public hooray for her felt apt. K, you've been such an inspiration for so many years, and you did an expectedly bang-up job with this. xx

One more — my cookbook was included in Food52's Piglet Tournament of Cookbooks this month, and while I was kicked out in the first round, to lose to Ruth Reichl hardly feels a loss at all. And, the nomination was truly the most unexpected honour. Cheers and thanks for that. 

CHINESE-INSPIRED CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

"Actually, there are dual inspirations for this soup, for it really a version of My Mother's Praise Chicken from Kitchen infused with Chinese flavours. What you end up with is the sort of soup you want to eat in bowls held up inelegantly close to your mouth so that you are in easy slurping distance. I am embarrassed to say that I can't use chopsticks, unless they're the children's sort held together with a piece of card and an elastic band, but this soup really makes me want to learn.

I always recommend organic chicken (or organic meat generally) but I am mindful of the fact that not everyone can afford the luxury. Even so, if you use an intensively farmed chicken here (and the lack of taste is only one concern), you just won't get a flavoursome enough soup, in which case some bouillon cubes or concentrate in the water. 

I've given an exuberant list of ingredients for sprinkling on at the end, as I love that final fling of flavour. And though I haven't added them here, should you be making a fresh foray to an Asian food store to make this, and you see Chinese flowering chives about, they would be a real treat, and are so beautiful. Despite the Asian inspiration for the soup's flavour, I make a steep geographical about-turn and use golden nests (one per person) of an egg-enriched tagliolini for the noodle element, though I do also love this with those very thin mug bean or rice vermicelli. In fact, I just can't think of a bad way of eating this: even noodle-less, and thus rather not living up to its title, this is bliss in a bowl. "

— from Simply Nigella, by Nigella Lawson (Appetite by Random House, 2015)

Serves 6 to 8

INGREDIENTS FOR THE SOUP

3 leeks, cleaned and trimmed

3 carrots, peeled and trimmed

3 stalks celery, trimmed

3-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely grated

1 small or medium chicken, preferably organic

1 tablespoons vegetable oil

1/2 cup Chinese (Shaoxing) rice wine

tied stalks from a bunch of cilantro, plus leaves to serve (see below)

2 1/2 quarts cold water

2 teaspoons sea salt flakes or kosher salt

1 teaspoons Szechuan pepper or crushed red pepper flakes

2 tablespoons soy sauce, plus more to serve

2 fat cloves garlic, peeled and finely grated or minced

zest and juice of 1 lime, preferably unwaxed

10 ounces baby bok choy, tatsoi, choi sum, or other greens of choice 

4 ounces radishes

2 ounces dried fine egg noodles or vermicelli per person

salt for noodle water to taste

1/2 teaspoon Asian sesame oil, plus more to serve (see below)

TO SERVE

Asian sesame oil

2 (or more to taste) fresh red chiles, seeded and finely diced (optional)

leaves from a bunch of cilantro (see above)

finely chopped chives (optional)

METHOD

Slice each trimmed leek in half lengthways, and cut into 1/2-inch slices. Set aside. Cut the carrots into 1 1/2-inch lengths and quarter each log lengthways. Chop the celery into 1/2-inch slices, reserving any leaves to add to the soup at the end. Grate the ginger onto a plate for the time being. I use a microplane grater and get 4-5 teaspoons of fiery pulp out of this. Don't wash up the grater yet, as you'll need it for the garlic and lime later.

Now, with your vegetables prepped, untruss your chicken, cut off (but do not discard) the ankle part of the leg (I find kitchen scissors more than adequate to the task), and put the chicken, breast-side down, on a cutting board, then press down until you hear the breastbone crack — perhaps I shouldn't like this as much as I do — and the chicken is slightly flattened. Wash your hands, and then warm the tablespoon of vegetable oil in a pan that comes with a lid and that's big enough to take all the ingredients comfortably; I use a saucepan of 12 inches in diameter, 5 inches deep, which is a tight, but good, fit. 

When the oil hot, put the chicken in, breast-side down, and leave to brown for 3 minutes; the heat should not be too high for this or it'll start burning. Turn the chicken the other way up, then turn the heat to high and chuck in the rice wine. While it's bubbling, throw in the chicken ankle pieces along with the tied cilantro stalks, sliced carrots, and celery. 

Pour in the water, then add the sea salt flakes, Szechuan pepper (or crushed red pepper flakes), soy sauce, and finely grated ginger. Add the garlic, then grate in the zest of the lime, and squeeze in the juice of half of it. Let this come to a boil. 

Once it's bubbling, clamp on the lid, turn the heat to low, and let it simmer, covered, for 1 hour. Once the hour is up, take the lid off, then turn up the heat and bring it back to a boil again, and, once it is, add the leeks you sliced earlier. Cover partially with the lid and cook for 10 minutes, then let the broth simmer uncovered and confidently for another 10 minutes. This is to let the broth strengthen a bit. Then turn off the heat altogether, though keep the pan on the stove, clamp the lid back on, and leave for at least 20 minutes and up to 1 hour. While this is going on, I'd put a saucepan of water on to boil the noodles later, and salt it when it comes to a boil.

When you want to eat, remove the chicken to a board: it may be falling to pieces, but so much the better. Remove the chicken skin (I discard it, as for me there's no joy in chicken skin unless it's crisp), then take the meat off the bone and shred it. And by the way, should you not use up all the chicken for the soup, know that it is magnificent — flavoursome and tender — in a salad or sandwich the next day. 

Chop the stems of the greens you're using, and put the leaves into a separate pile. Quarter the radishes top to tail. Bring the pan of soup back to a boil, add the stalks of the greens and the quartered radishes, and let it come back to a boil once more. At the same time, add the noodles to the pan of boiling salted water, and cook them (if you're using the fine noodles or vermicelli they shouldn't take more than 2-3 minutes). 

Add the leafy parts of the greens to the bubbling soup and drain the noodles. Put the noodles and shredded chicken into your serving bowls. Taste the soup for seasoning, and add more salt (or soy) and the juice of the remaining half of lime, if you think it needs it. When satisfied, ladle the fragrant broth, with its vegetables, on top of the chicken and noodles, add a drop of sesame oil to each bowl, then sprinkle with chopped chiles, cilantro, or chives, as you wish. Bring the bottles of soy sauce and sesame oil, and some more of the chopped chiles and herbs to the table for people to add as they eat. Warning: don't burn your mouth; this soup smells so good, I'm afraid it's easy to be dangerously impatient and eat while the soup's still scaldingly hot. 

STORE NOTE:

Transfer leftover cooked chicken to a container, cover, and chill within 1 hour. It will keep in refrigerator for up to 3 days

FREEZE NOTE:

The cooked and cooled chicken can be frozen, in airtight containers or resealable bags, for up to 2 months. Thaw overnight in refrigerator before using.

NOTE FROM TARA:

Because I'm probably the only fan of radishes in my household (I'd be sad, but it means more for me), I left them out of the soup pot and added them instead to my serving alone.

Newer:The width of the universeOlder:Won't soon forget | Roasted Winter Squash Soup with Curry and Coconut

Source: http://sevenspoons.net/blog/2016/2/24/things-line-up

[conversci]

People Conducting Research - Jake Valentine

Meet Jake Valentine – PhD student and researcher at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre and the collaborative NHMRC-funded National Centre for Infections in Cancer (NCIC). Though relatively new to the research scene, Jake is already looking to be an absolute powerhouse in the biosurveillance field. His research aims to improve the ways we monitor and detect infections in cancer patients and to evaluate the sustainability of federal funding schemes in healthcare using ‘big data’.

Jake has always been interested in science, studying biology and chemistry at high school and beginning a Biomedical Science degree at Monash University soon after. Initially intending on pursuing medicine, Jake realised that research underlies much of the ‘behind the scenes’ in the clinic, and instead majored in Microbiology and Infectious Diseases. Jake got his first taste of wet lab research during his third year as part of a research project working on the bacterium Clostridium difficile, which ‘hijacks’ the human immune system upon infection.

Though passionate about microbiology, Jake decided wet lab work wasn’t his calling. The frustrations of day-to-day negative lab results (including a few too many ‘disappointing’ Western Blots!) caused him to reassess his research interests. Keeping his passion for infectious diseases central, Jake seamlessly transitioned to the dry lab for his Honours year, working at the Monash Central Clinical School within the Alfred Hospital, where he was the recipient of the Bachelor of Biomedical Science Honours Prize. His project involved working with big data to characterise epidemiology of infections in cancer patients - specifically, invasive fungal diseases in patients with hematological malignancies, or cancers of the blood1.

Because of the immunosuppressive implications of cancer treatment and care, cancer patients are more susceptible to infections than the general population - whether bacterial, viral, parasitic or fungal. Jake’s research involved migrating disparate health data from clinical and administrative datasets and using these ‘big data’ to look at the rates of fungal infections in cancer patients, and how and why they occur. Analysis of these data then informs how invasive fungal infections may best be addressed in the clinical setting. Jake also investigated the cost burden of these infections using data from the Victorian Government’s Department of Health and Human Services. These datasets can then be linked, providing insights into the bigger picture of invasive fungal infections in blood cancer patients across Victoria. We can then determine the most efficient use of cost and hospital resources to achieve better health for patients through prevention and earlier detection of these infections.

Using epidemiology and biostatistics in a clinical setting Jake says ‘wet [his] appetite’ for something more. In early 2018 he commenced PhD studies at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre and the University of Melbourne working on a similar project2 within the National Centre for Infections in Cancer (NCIC). The government (NHMRC)-funded NCIC is a collaborative effort across the Victorian Comprehensive Cancer Centre (VCCC) and partners to “address a critical need for informed strategies to reduce infections in cancer”. They aim to use surveillance, implementation and innovation to improve patient prognoses and better manage infections in people with cancer. Jake’s role within this team is primarily within the surveillance arm. He broadly aims to improve surveillance of infections in patients with cancer using big data, and to ensure federal funding models are equitable and sustainable for hospitals managing these healthcare-associated infections in cancer patients. Using patient data from the Peter Mac and beyond, he aims to create new technological solutions to audit and assess these data to have the greatest impact on patient outcomes. The biggest killer of cancer patients, aside from the cancer itself, is infection – and using data systems that Jake is developing, we can work towards detecting these infections earlier, or preventing them from occurring altogether, all whilst ensuring hospitals are appropriately funded to do so.

 Image 1:  Kaplan-Meier survival estimates of haematology-oncology patients diagnosed with and without an infection

It can often be difficult to imagine what a scientist does when they aren’t in a lab coat all day - but Jake assures that being a dry lab scientist is almost more difficult as you can work ‘whenever and wherever’ you like! A typical day for Jake involves lots of emails, reading (or writing!) literature, and all the statistical work that is required to look at patient data. The datasets that Jake uses in his work are complex and diverse, and ‘cleaning the datasets’ (i.e. preparing them for analysis) often takes up more of Jake’s day than the research itself!

Image 2:  Heat map of infection incidence (per 10,000 occupied bed-days) stratified by cancer type

Working with hospital and patient data can also be difficult at times, and frustrations can arise from ‘red-tape’ when getting access to databases. To access data, researchers must go through lengthy processes of obtaining ethics approvals, which are time consuming and involve lots of paperwork. However, for Jake, this is a great reminder that the patient data he is analysing comes from ‘a real person’ - and is not just a number. The ‘beauty of working with big data’ for Jake is that he can ‘see improvement in patient outcomes’, and that the work he is doing is making a real difference. Connecting the research to the patient is absolutely crucial, and Jake urges all researchers to take a step back and ‘understand the significance of your findings in a clinical setting’.

Very much still at the beginning of his research career, Jake doesn’t see himself moving down the academic path, favouring working in a government or corporate health setting to make high-level changes to health systems. Establishing both national and international collaborations during his PhD is a priority, to ensure his research is translated appropriately to key stakeholders. Jake is also a big believer in public engagement and networking, agreeing that we should be training our students to communicate their science from the start. This extends to the wider community, and that getting patients ‘on board’ with research is ‘fundamental’ to a positive public perception of science. Fluent in German, Jake is also a huge believer in using the ‘other side of [our] brains’ to ‘bridge the gap’ between science and language (or something else!) to improve the way we approach our research.

We at the Convergence Science Network will be following Jake’s journey as he completes his PhD studies, and are excited to see how his project influences infection rates in cancer patients at the Peter Mac and beyond. You can follow Jake on Twitter @jakevalentine95, and follow @NCICancer for updates on the NCIC’s mission for greater strategies to reduce infections in cancer.

Bethany Davey | Science Communication Officer | Convergence Science Network

References:

1. Valentine, J. et al. A population-based analysis of invasive fungal disease in haematology-oncology patients using data linkage of state-wide registries and administrative databases: 2005 – 2016. BMC Infect Dis. 2019; 19(1):274. doi: 10.1186/s12879-019-3901-y.

2. Valentine, J. et al. Sepsis incidence and mortality are underestimated in Australian intensive care unit administrative data. Med J Aust. 2019 Mar; 210(4):188-188.e1. doi: 10.5694/mja2.50017

This is Jake’s most recent article discussing hospital funding models for Australian hospitals: Valentine J. Demystifying casemix funding and hospital-acquired complication penalties: the coding continuum. https://cancerandinfections.org/ncic-blog. National Centre for Infections in Cancer. 2019