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seumyo · 25 days ago

Note

bro wtf is wrong with you?? every time i think i’m safe, you drop another emotional damage bomb like it’s nothing. do you thrive on our suffering??? do you sleep peacefully at night knowing you made us cry??? i swear you enjoy this a little too much. touch some grass. drink some water. go apologize to your stuffed animals for the pain you’ve inflicted on us.

…anyway, malleus angst when? ily ur works pls don’t die broski 😭

to lose malleus draconia against something you could never rival.

ps. based off of my twst oc and his relationship with malleus (male!reader)

You had always known Malleus Draconia belonged to no one.

That was the nature of the dragon fae—too powerful, too eternal, too distant for any one person to truly claim. But you had still thought—hoped, foolishly—that this would end up differently. That after years at Malleus’ side, there would be no room for another. That if Malleus was ever to let someone in, truly in, it would be you.

And yet, here you were. Watching.

The night air was crisp, heavy with the scent of roses from the courtyard garden, the flickering lanterns casting long shadows against the stone paths. It should have been a peaceful night. It should have been yours. How many times had you and Malleus walked these very grounds together, speaking of things that only beings like you could understand? How many times had you stood beneath the same sky, caught between the weight of eternity and the loneliness of it all?

But tonight, Malleus wasn’t beside you.

He was with them.

The human.

You watched as Malleus stood close—too close—to the magicless student who had somehow wormed their way into his life. Malleus was speaking in that slow, deliberate way of his, his voice like a lull of thunder just before the storm. And the human—the human—was laughing.

Bright, open, utterly unafraid.

As if they had any right.

You had been the one to pull Malleus from his solitude, to remind him that regardless what happens, he’ll always have you to turn to when things get rough. You had been the one to stand by him when even other fae hesitated.

You. Not them.

Yet here Malleus was, giving the human a smile that you had never been able to draw from him. A soft one, without the weight of anything to hold him back, without the quiet sadness that always seemed to linger in his gaze.

Malleus looked light.

Your fingers curled at your sides, sharp nails biting into your palms. The sting grounded you, kept you from doing something you would regret—like stepping forward and reminding Malleus just who had been at his side for centuries. Just who had earned the right to stand beside him?

God, you were starting to sound like Sebek.

But then, what would be the point?

You had always known this love was one-sided. You had always known Malleus cared for you, but not in the way you wanted. And knowing that should have been enough to keep you from hurting.

But it wasn’t.

A presence flickered beside you. Lilia. You didn’t look at him, but you could feel the weight of the fae’s knowing gaze.

“You’re brooding,” Lilia observed, his voice laced with quiet amusement. “It’s unlike you to sulk in the shadows. That’s Idia’s job, isn’t it?”

You exhaled sharply through your nose, but you didn’t rise to the bait. You didn’t trust yourself to. Didn’t feel yourself to.

Lilia hummed. “You know, watching from afar won’t change anything.”

You finally turned your head, meeting Lilia’s red eyes with a sharp glare. “And what would you have me do?” Your voice was low, controlled. Strained. “Drag them away from him? Demand that he look at me instead?”

Lilia tilted his head, ever the picture of effortless wisdom. “Would it be so wrong to want him to see you?”

Your throat tightened.

Malleus had always seen you. Hadn’t he?

Hadn’t he?

You turned back to where Malleus stood, the sound of that human’s laughter ringing in your ears. Malleus’ expression was soft, his gaze warm, and you felt something inside you crack. Slow, but not all at once.

You had spent years standing beside Malleus, waiting—perhaps foolishly—for the day that the dragon fae would look at you and understand. That he would realize that you had never left, never wavered, never wanted anyone but him.

But that day would never come, would it?

Because Malleus had looked at someone.

Just not you.

Lilia let out a quiet sigh, as if reading the weight of your thoughts. “Love is a fickle thing, isn’t it?” he mused, voice softer now. “It does not reward patience, nor does it care for history. It goes where it wills.”

You sighed, slumping against the overgrown marble railings of the garden. “Spare me the wisdom.”

Lilia chuckled. “Ah, but it hurts less when you hear it from someone else, doesn’t it?”

You didn’t answer. Because it didn’t hurt less. It hurt more.

The human said something, and Malleus laughed. Not a quiet chuckle, not the polite amusement he often gave others, but something real. Something you had never been able to pull from him. No matter how much effort you put into it.

And in that moment, you knew.

You could never be that for Malleus.

You could be his friend, his most trusted companion, his constant. But you could never be the reason Malleus smiled like that.

Because Malleus had never once looked at you and seen something to long for.

You had always been there. Reliable. Familiar. Expected.

But this human? They were new. They were different. They were something Malleus had never known he could have.

And you—you had always been something Malleus knew he wouldn’t lose.

So you watched.

Because there was nothing else you could do.

And wasn’t that the cruelest part?

You hated the rain.

It soaked through your clothes, clung to your body as a literal unshakable feeling, and turned the world into a cold, miserable blur. The water was pooling at your feet, running in rivulets down your cheeks like mock tears—because you refused to cry. Not here. Not for this.

Not for him.

Malleus stood just a few feet away, regal as ever, the rain sliding off him like it dared not touch him. Even now, with you standing before him, drenched and trembling with the weight of everything you had kept locked inside for centuries, Malleus was unmoved.

And that—that was the thing that shattered you the most.

“You—” Your voice came out hoarse, your breath uneven. Your chest ached, a deep, twisting thing that no magic could heal.

“Since when did I lose?”

Malleus blinked, his expression unreadable.

“Lose?”

A sharp, bitter laugh tore out of your throat. You tilted your head back, let the rain sting your skin, let the cold seep into your bones. You should have known. You should have known it would come to this—because you had always been waiting, hadn’t you?

Always standing just behind Malleus, always within reach but never touched, never chosen.

And you had been okay with that for a time.

Because you thought that if you had been patient, if you were loyal, if you stayed, then maybe, just maybe, Malleus would one day turn to you and realize—

But no.

No, because Malleus had turned.

Just not in your direction.

Never in your direction.

“Yes, lose,” you spat, taking a step forward. “Since when was I not enough?”

Malleus’ brows furrowed slightly, as if he did not understand—as if he had not known. “[Name]—”

“No,” you snapped, stepping closer, your voice raw with something you could no longer hold back. “Don’t say my name like that. Like you don’t know. Like you haven’t always known.”

Malleus said nothing, but something in his gaze shifted.

And that was enough.

Enough to confirm what you had feared all along.

Malleus had known.

He had known, and he had still—

You exhaled sharply, a bitter, humorless sound escaping you. Your hands trembled as you ran them through your soaked hair. “I have been by your side for years, Malleus,” you murmured, the words thick with something you couldn’t name. “I have stood with you when others feared you. I have fought for you, bled for you, given you everything—”

Your voice cracked, and you swallowed against the lump rising in your throat.

“I have loved you, Malleus.”

Silence.

The rain poured harder, like the sky itself was mourning for you. It could also be influenced by how the fae in front of you felt. Honestly, you couldn’t care anymore.

Malleus’ lips parted slightly, but he did not speak. He just watched, as if waiting for you to continue, as if he did not realize that you were standing here, breaking yourself open for him—offering your heart on a silver platter, knowing it would never be taken.

You laughed, a sharp, wounded thing. “You don’t even look surprised.”

Malleus inhaled, slow and measured. “[Name]…” His voice was quiet, heavy with something you would rather not hear. “I—”

“Don’t,” you cut him off, your voice hoarse. You shook your head, stepping back, suddenly feeling so tired. “Don’t say it.”

Because you knew what was coming.

You are my dearest friend, [Name].

You are important to me.

I never meant to hurt you.

Words that meant nothing.

Words that would only twist the knife deeper.

Malleus’ eyes searched yours, and you hated that. Hated that even now, when you were falling apart, Malleus still looked at you with that quiet, unreadable expression—as if you were a puzzle to be solved instead of someone standing in the ruins of something that had never even begun.

As if he hadn’t known you well enough throughout the years.

The rain continued to fall, each drop heavy against your skin, against your chest, against the gaping wound in your heart that you refused to let bleed any more than it already had.

You let out a shuddering breath. When you spoke again, your voice was quieter. Resigned.

“I can’t force you to love me.” Your throat tightened. “And I wouldn’t want to.”

Malleus’ expression flickered—something almost like pain flashing across his face. But still, he said nothing.

You exhaled shakily, tilting your head up towards the sky. The rain was suffocating, pressing against your skin, drowning you in something you couldn’t escape.

“That’s the worst part, isn’t it?” Your voice dropped to a whisper. “That I understand.”

Because you did.

You understood.

Malleus had chosen.

And it wasn’t you.

You felt something inside you break completely, splintering into a thousand irreparable pieces. And there was nothing left to do—nothing left to say.

Because if Malleus had wanted you, he would have chosen you. There wouldn’t be a reason to choose in the first place.

But you weren’t even an option in the first place, you realize.

What a fool. Naïve, hopeful fool.

And that was enough.

You exhaled one last, trembling breath before taking a step back. Then another. Your boots splashed in the puddles forming beneath you, the water soaking into the hem of your coat.

You glanced at Malleus one last time, committing the image to memory. The prince you had loved your whole life. The man you had given everything to.

You were willing to give the world and back to.

The one who would never be yours.

The rain blurred your vision, but you didn’t blink.

“I hate the rain,” you murmured, more to yourself than anyone else.

Because it reminded you of when Malleus was sad. When you were the one to stick by him as the weather passed by each quiet night in his castle.

Then you turned.

And you walked away.

Because if you stayed—

If you stayed, you would break. More so knowing that you lost Malleus to something that you could never rival.

Genuine, unadulterated love.