#discussions about coming out

[lucabyte]

Different standards

[fascinationstreetmp3]

i wonder how many more people would've vehemently hated gale right off the bat on full release if his introduction conversation had stayed like this or something similar

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[casscainmainly]

Since it's StephCass week, I wanted to share one of my fav StephCass moments, from Batgirls #16. Cass' promise to never abandon Steph hits so hard when thinking about their relationship in Batgirl (2000). They have so many good moments it's easy to forget one of the longest running threads in their relationship: Steph leaving Cass, and Cass letting her go.

From Batgirl (2000) #28, #38, #53, #54. It all leads to their final confrontation in #55:

Before she can give chase, Cass gets called away by Batman. Though rooftop tag is a cute tradition between them, in reality Cass never chases after Steph, not once; this final time, letting Steph go results in her death. Of course it's not Cass' fault, as much as it's not Steph's, but she probably does blame herself in some capacity.

Which is why that moment in Batgirls #16 is so moving. For two people who have been torn apart time and time again, sometimes by external forces, sometimes of their own volition - for someone like Cass, who spent most of her life without someone to come home to - finding someone who stays, who fights to stay, is incredibly special. They won't leave each other alone. They never will.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: Check out. The fully-sexual charged cinematic movement design.

Cnetizens: How did the director come up with the idea to have him kneel on a playing card, adding so much aesthetic energy, is that some kind of genius?

[somewhereincairparavel]

i have ALWAYS promptly looked forward to jason grace's povs in the hoo books to the point where'd I'd flip the pages till I find the words "JASON" and would count the amount of povs he has in the whole book before I even finished reading, so I feel excited knowing that I'll get to his povs soon. there, I said it.

[zombie-bait]

Assad I see you and I appreciate you greatly 🙏 this man can’t be stopped and I hope no one ever tries to

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Saying that the gpda should go care about something important, as if they aren't - for the first time in DECADES - taking a definite stand against the sports governing body publicly for all to see, is something.

This goes beyond the jewellery, the underwear, or even the swearing. And their issue about being told not to wear jewellery and bring told what underwear is more about the fact that they were told by the media, rather than by the governing bodies themselves directly in a meeting where the drivers could share their perspectives.

They publicly called out the FIA President for his hypocrisy and for how he has spoken about the drivers both to their face and behind their backs.

Most importantly, they have publicly expressed their feelings about monetary fines, publicly stated that they have no idea what the FIA does with the money they receive from fining drivers, and called them out for it. There is zero transparency from the FIA in an issue we now know has been raised since at least 2021. What is the FIA hiding? Because there is no reason why the drivers should not be allowed to see where that money goes, or at least no legitimate reason.

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Jenson Button)

[coladaminx]

So if you watch this scene izuku and kacchan are sitting on both ends of the couch and what makes this scene so sweet and kinda sad is that izuku consciously or maybe unconsciously brings himself closer to his kacchan with the Manga version you can actively see him scooting closer (HE WANTS TO BE CLOSE TO HIM) and be able to actually talk with him Normally ;A; which we find out later he feels blessed being able to be near him and ya know talk and katsuki didn't push him away THEIR INSANE YA'LL!

[wolves-in-the-world]

the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.

(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)

is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.

(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)

on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.

[artuurle]

BIG fan of the ascension headcanons u posted... I love myself some godly body horror and existential dread!!! Woo!!

Outta curiousity... how do u think huzzle, bauhauzzo, and cobigails ascensions went in this regard? they seem pretty emotionally stable all things considered but huzzle and bauzzie boy ascended AGES ago, who knows how they've changed.....

Also i like your art i think it's pretty cool :3 have an awesome day

Thanks a ton! ^ u ^ So in my opinion, becoming a god is an exhausting affair for all honestly, even without a hitch, so even those who are stable can end up a little frazzled. Bauzzie boy is not exempt from this, especially because he has to get used to remembering everything as if it were new. He showed up in a fissure like from an earthquake after a day :)

Huzzle actually took a while to pop in at 4 days, but when it did, you can say it was with a "BANG!". Huzzle Mug didn't take long because of unresolved issues, but more from not knowing what it was as an answer; such is the curse of the creatives.

Bauzzie made sure to catch it though, siblinghood began day one :) Cobigail Quickly popped in, she had good a sense of who she was, A nice (yet devious with pranks) music teacher well known in her town of Milldread! she sprouted up a little disoriented though, and ended up being spooked by the other gods- though she ended up entertained by that honestly....

now bout the remaining gods..... I currently have no idea how thespius appeared in the current moment, feel free to tell me thoughts if anyone has them, i like giving them unique entrances but he's stumped me <:(

and nobody remembers how Miss Mitternact arrived, not even her, she was alone for a while.....

[fireladybuckley]

I can’t believe a boyfriend made a silly sex joke to lighten the mood after both partners had a moment of vulnerability. The audacity. The horror. The normalcy! Unbelievable. How dare a conversation about feelings turn to levity. How dare a couple have a light chat about trauma-related things over dinner that doesn’t turn into an incredibly deep heart to heart instead of a joke and moving on. Unbelievable. I’m never watching this show again! 👎🏻

[backjustforberena]

Then we must press what advantage we do have. And what is that? Dragons. 

[eskeptical]

marriage of convenience with john price in which one party (you) is seemingly unaware of what they have gotten themselves into

it came up as a sort of joke on a lazy night out with some drinks when you decided to catch up after a year or two of not seeing each other. neither of you are getting any younger, and the dating scene only seems to grow stale with the years. you laugh at the idea of getting the military wife benefits, and all he does is respond with a rough chuckle, smoke billowing out of his lips after a puff from his cigar, crows feet present as ever on the corners of his eyes as he seems particularly focused on you.

truthfully, you had forgotten all about it, not bothering to entertain the thought. you think he does the same until he shows up a few months later, back from deployment, with the type of despair in his eyes only certain people experience when they realize that maybe they don't want to die alone. a few hours later, he has slipped a band of metal with a pretty rock on your finger and a date is marked on your calendar.

you think of it purely as a negotiation of sorts. you get the government benefits that come with marriage, he gets the same, and you both get a sort of permanent companion/friend. it can't be all that bad. you're sure price wouldn't mind having an open marriage, given the way it was conceived.

you don't begin to realize you maybe bit off more than you could chew until you show him the short white dress you were planning to wear to the small courthouse and he asks where your other dress is.

"what other dress, john?"

"the long one with the veil, darlin'. have to get married properly, of course."

you didn't think you'd be marrying through the church as well. sure, you figured john was a bit traditional, but not enough to want to get married through the church. you figure he must have organized it for the sake of his more religious parents and family, so you decide It wouldn't hurt to go along with it.

he treats you as if you were his real fiancée. sends you flowers anytime he can. already calls you honey, and you're not sure why it makes your skin burn. anytime he comes back from a mission, he makes sure to greet you with a proper kiss, long and hot and intimate enough to make your cheeks burn knowing there are people around you.

the first day after you get married, you decide now is a better time than any to propose the idea of seeing other people. not so much because you want to see other people, but more out of concern that he might. after your nervous disposition and quiet tone of voice, you fidget with your hands when all john does is laugh for a good minute at the idea. "darling, seventh commandment prohibits adultery. it'd be awfully wrong to disobey the laws of God." you don't bring up the topic again.

he's quick to buy you a house after you do get married. it's quite big, and you joke it could fit an entire family of twelve, to which he only hums, adding after a few seconds, "ten to go, then."

after a few months, you notice there's a room he keeps locked at all times, that he goes into constantly whenever he's around. when you ask him about it, he only responds and says it's a work in progress.

you feel your heart stop a little when one day he's working inside it, with the door slightly open, and you get a peek of soft toned wallpaper with patterns containing leaves and small animals, white long pieces of wood of uniform size, and a small circular thing with stars and planets made from felt that lay beside a stuffed animal.

[upsidedog]

i am so charmed by a lumax wedding because it’s not even something max thought would happen. like she assumed weddings were something the girl makes happen and the guy puts up with. and because she had no desire for one, so there’s no reason it would happen.

among other things weddings are an exorbitant and performative show of love, max loves lucas and she doesn’t care whether or not other people know or believe this. at it’s best marriage to her has been a representation of failed dreams and at it’s worst it’s been a tool to manipulate people who need to get away to stay. maybe they will get married for the tax benefits, she thinks.

this is until max and lucas are older and living together, they’re chilling on the couch and lucas mentions his family has been asking when he’s planning to propose and if that’s something max even wants? max doesn’t care, she doesn’t plan on going anywhere, a certificate won’t change anything and she's not crazy about parties. she doesn’t ask how he feels, he brings it up, that “actually i want a wedding.”

that is saying the least, lucas wants a wedding more than anything. he loves max and he doesn’t need to prove that to anyone, but he’s happy and he wants to share that with others! he wants to work with max to make marriage a positive thing to them, he wants to celebrate their love, everything they’ve been through. also, hell, he’s only human, he wants to show off! he wants to dress really cool and go to a really cool place and show the world know how awesome he and his girlfriend are. HIS WIFE!!!

most of all, lucas wants the moment near the end of the night, where the party’s getting loud and everybody wants his attention, but max asks if he wants to get out of there and he says yes. not out out, just outside the venue. it’s dark and the once booming music is now faint, they sit and catch up, complain about their families, laugh about their friends. max holds lucas’s hand and plays with his wedding ring, she whispers something sweet before asking him to dance. it’s the best part of the night and nobody will know about it but them.

suddenly max decides she wants a wedding.