#disclaimer that this is all based on opinion/speculation about their personalities

[lukolabrainrot]

I am going to talk about some of my thoughts about why I believe N's behavior changed as the PR tour progressed. I am also going to talk about my thoughts on if L&N ever got "jiggy with it" 😂 I'll try to get to my thoughts on Toronto and Ireland tomorrow.

Before I start though, I want to mention that I am trying to come to my theories/opinions based off of things I have been able to observe, and verified information online. Obviously though, I don't actually know any of these people irl, so I am never going to understand the full story of what is going on between L/N. All of this is just my thoughts and theories on what is going on based on what has been put out to the public. There has been a lot of speculation online about everything, but I am going to try and not give that information too much weight when coming to my conclusions here. I am interested in hearing everyone's thoughts/opinions though, since this story has a lot of moving parts. Just wanted to put this disclaimer out before moving forward with more of my thoughts/theories.

Alright, on to the main course (this is going to be a LONG post btw)...

N on the PR Tour

I want to start off with the following that we know to be fact about N:

She is INCREDIBLY private about her personal life, especially her dating/romantic life (the same isn't/hasn't really been true about L). In fact, I don't believe N has ever publicly come out as being in a relationship with anyone since she entered the entertainment industry/been in the public eye (although I can't 100% confirm this, so please let me know if there are any articles/or something on her SM where she has publicly confirmed she was in a relationship at some point)

She is VERY online, and very careful about controlling her public narrative

She is a naturally touchy and affectionate person with people, but she seems to hold her true feelings a lot closer to her heart, and it seems to me, that she is kind of "on" in public (which is actually an important skillset to have as someone in the entertainment industry because you really need to know how to stay in control of your public narrative--your fans are your livelihood)

She LOVES photography/taking photos (it is one of her love languages I believe)

Now as I mentioned, L was always a lot more of an open book on the PR tour about his feelings for N (refer to my post here). N seemed to be a lot more reserved/gaurded during the tour when it first started in January, but everything shifted in like April when the world tour started. Below are my thoughts:

N started to become a LOT more obvious through her nonverbal cues about her genuine feelings for L as the tour unfolded. I will say that I believe PART of it probably had to do with getting a little "lost in the sauce" with the energy of the tour. However, I think the larger factor was that L & N were pushed together for many months (in close quarters), and were therefore forced to have conversations about their feelings for each other that I think they had been tiptoeing around for quite a while. From what we then saw from like the middle of Italy (I'm an Italy truther), there was more of a confidence, security, and contentment in how they interacted with each other that signaled to me feelings were shared and reciprocated.

Like I mentioned, she is a PR queen and very, very private about this part of her life. Therefore, why would she decide to be so obvious about her feelings on such a public stage when she knows people analyze everything? Well... I believe this is her way of publicly acknowledging their romantic feelings for each other without ACTUALLY publicly acknowledging anything more than "work besties" is going on with them. Which totally makes sense when you think about it because 1) The fandom would LOSE IT rn 2) That would put a LOT of public pressure on them, and I think these feelings they have shared with each other are very new (but had been brewing for a long time), and I don't think they are confident enough to go public. There is also, of course, the A of the whole situation, which L needs to figure out how he wants to move forward with that. TLDR, the situation is very messy, and I think there is a lot that L/N need to process in private regarding each other out of the public eye. I am pretty confident though that this tour put them in a situation to confront, clarify, and establish what their romantic feelings are for each other outside of the show (and they were reciprocated), and they are taking the space right now to explore that privately.    

Lastly, because I really like analyzing photos and N loves taking pictures, let's talk about those "boyfriend pics" of L she posted since the world tour started. Yes, she was promoting the show, but a lot of those pictures (especially recently) have a very specific vibe. She wants the world to see him the way she sees him. She loves that man, clear and simple. He shines around her, and she knows that. I think it’s also especially telling that she posted the most recent boyfriend pic of her last day of filming (which was the most obvious one in my opinion) now that A is publicly connected to L. It was a statement in my opinion, that regardless of all the drama unfolding, her and L have a really deep and meaningful connection that is special to her. I think it also served as a message that we don’t know the full story, which I think is a positive thing for us Lukola fans. Now I can’t predict the future with these two, but I am fairly certain we wouldn’t have been seeing the type of behavior we saw from them on the PR tour, and the types of photos she has been posting of him lately, if they weren’t confident in moving forward with their romantic relationship in the near future (especially since A has been in the picture for quite some time). I think these pics serve as another crumb that they are a little more than just work besties.

One last note, I think the reason our PR queen started slipping up and changing her answers to certain questions on the tour is because SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY WITH HIM. This can be a whole separate post at some point if people are interested, but I am almost certain from everything I have observed regarding N, that she is quite jaded when it comes to finding a romantic partner, and has been hurt in romantic relationships in the past.  I feel like L is the more sweet, hopeless romantic between the two. I think he allowed her to heal some of her relationship wounds. I think there is something about L and the experiences they’ve shared together that has reignited something within N to make her feel more hopeful about having a deep romantic connection while she can still be very independent and successful in her field. And I think it specifically has something to do with who L is when he is with her and how he treats her. I get the impression he has really altered the way she sees certain things related to romantic relationships. My whole point is that I think they both know what they have, and they know that if they can get on the same page, this relationship would get serious pretty quickly. Therefore, even though N is really private with this part of her life, for L, I think she would publicly acknowledge their relationship, but only when/if they are able to get to a point where they feel confident enough that their relationship would be able to withstand the pressures from the public. They just aren't there currently because of all the other confounding factors, but I don't think that necessarily signals where they will be in like 6 to 8 months imo...

Have L/N ever gotten freaky deaky irl?

From before the PR tour, I just don't have enough information to confidently say yes or no. A lot of people have different opinions on this, and some people think they casually dated near the end of filming season 3/sometime last year (but we don't have any proof of that). This is what I will say:

N still follows J (and vice versa I believe, please lmk if I'm wrong?), so I don't think there is any bad blood there. This makes me pretty certain that L/N never acted on any physical feelings for each other until after that relationship was completely over. I do think though that L/N have had a spark for a while (and tbh, I think L has kind of had a thing for N since they met, and his feelings for her have always been stronger). Therefore, this likely played a part in him emotionally distancing from his relationship with J when season 3 started filming, but at the end of the day, we will never know the specicifics of why they decided to part ways. My guess is that there were a lot of reasons that relationship did not end up working out considering how serious that relationship was.

Considering how WILD L/N's sexual chemistry is, it wouldn't surprise me if they hooked up at some point before the PR tour. But considering L was on Raya by February/March 2023 (from my understanding?), and the fact that N was SUPER busy last year and traveling a bunch, I just don't think there was any time for them to have anything more than something super casual/no commitment (if anything). Even if they did maybe hook up some, I don't think they really directly addressed the depth of their feelings for each other, which is why we saw all that behavior between them on the tour, because I don't think any clear boundaries had been put up and their feelings came flooding back.

Now I feel a lot more confident that somethingggg intimate happened at least once between them on the PR tour. Here are my theories:

I don't think things were great between them at the beginning of the tour (like January) because feelings I think started popping up again for these two during the reshoots in December 2023, and then the NYE kiss comes out, and N and L are feeling disconnected and aren't really on the same page about the tour.

I think they had some conversations in private, because by the VDay event, they seemed a lot more on the same page (and L was giving N those total heart eyes). The extra layer is that (I believe?) A accompanied L to the city the event was in (I think NYC?), but even though A was staying with him, L was STILL looking at N like THAT during the event (which I think speaks VOLUMES).

I think though there were a lot of things they still weren't talking about, and everything came to a head when they got to Italy, which is why the vibes were off at first and it seemed like there was tension between them. This also occurred soon after the Instyle stunt, so I feel like N probably had some feelingssss about that.

I have recently been converted to an Italy truther, so I believe that Italy was where L/N finally addressed/readressed some of their feelings for each other, and N was trying to get some clarity on WTH was going on with A, and making sure it wasn't going to mess anything up with the tour. But I think they "kissed and made up" 😉 and got back on the same page. Which is why there was the shift in Italy, and why we saw what we saw for the rest of the tour.

Not sure exactly what happened of course, but I get the feeling something physical happened after they started having some BIG conversations about each other that they had needed to have for a long time (and I think they continued to have these conversations with each other as the tour progressed). Let's also remember that these are two very non-confrontational people, so I feel like there must have been a LOT of pent up feelings/emotions for them to publicly show that they weren't super happy with each other/beefing during the beginning of Italy.

I also definitely think they physically acted on their feelings in Brazil (like they just had the "glow" imo 😂). And the eff me eyes, c'mon. Like Brazil continually reminded me of that New Girl quote "The stench of filth and lust is all over this room." It just seemed pretty obvious to me 😂 Especially considering the events that transpired right after that with A, and between L/N for the rest of the tour.

Lastly, I know a lot of people believe that L/N didn't physically act on their feelings because the tension would go away. However, I actually think it's a good sign that tension is still there, because I think it shows that there is a pretty deep connection between these two, and they are still feeling that pull/sexual energy after having sex. They kind of remind me of like two friends in a friend group who just admitted their true feelings for each other but aren't ready to go public, but are also having crazy good sex, so they are super obvious and can't really hide it when they are together LOL Regardless if they had ever physically acted on their feelings before the tour, I think these experiences (IF they did indeed occur), helped L/N get clarity if their strong feelings and attraction for each other went past the show and their characters. And I personally think they got that clarity 😉

Wowww okay that turned into an essay LOL, but I think the TLDR is that the situation seems very complicated right now, and I think there is a lot that L/N are needing to figure out in private. But I don't think that negates or invalidates what we saw between them on the PR tour, or that they were "faking" their feelings. Human beings are messy and imperfect, and that is okay. I think the part that still really confuses me is the whole A of the situation, because I just can't wrap my head around it. I would love to hear other people's opinions though on how she factors into all this, so if you have theories/questions you would like to add to that discussion, drop them in my asks. Because I have thoughtssss 😂

[tallerthantale]

Neil and Amanda's Fake Therapist

I originally gathered information relating to Neil's fake therapist in a bit of a messy hyperfocus flurry that included some initial errors, followed by various erratic updates, so I wanted to put the main points together into one coherent place. Some of what I'm putting together here was found by others on the subreddit post.

I once again find myself skirting the edges of my typical rules for myself about analyzing public figures, so disclaimer: this is personal opinion, I'm not scientifically or clinically evaluating anyone based off public appearances / statements, I am commenting on what personal impression I am getting off things, and leaving most speculation about internal states out.

Man does this guy make it hard to stick to that though.

The person I'm talking about here is the supposed 'therapist' that Scarlett interacted with while Neil was (allegedly) pressuring her to say the allegations weren't true. His behavior there (with a paper trail according to Tortoise), and what I was able to gather from Amanda Palmer's podcast made it clear to me that he was not operating within the acceptable behaviour of a therapist, so I decided to see if I could prompt a review of his license. All indications at this time are that he does not have one. But it gets worse.

He claims to be a minister, but like the therapist claim cites no qualifications or organizations in his website's bio. This combination of therapist who isn't a therapist and minister who isn't a minister potentially creates a legal nightmare scenario. I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice, but I'm going to give you my best estimate of the situation, which has involved looking up the law and reading some cases.

As long as he isn't claiming to be a mental health professional, he may be protected in calling himself a nonspecific 'therapist.' He can probably argue it as some kind of spiritual therapy. But because he isn't actually a mental health care provider, he is not subject to mandatory reporting. Generally therapists have a legal obligation to proactively report when someone is a danger to themselves or others. He does not have that requirement. He isn't bound by professional ethics, since he is not a member of any organizations and has no licenses. Moreover, it seems to be the case in New Mexico that if a person reasonably believes you to be a minister, that kicks in clergy-penitent privilege whether or not you actually are a minister.

The origin concept of clergy-penitent privilege is that the law cannot force a priest to reveal what was said to them in confession. The First Amendment means all religions get it equally and it doesn't have to be part of a specific Catholic ritual. In New Mexico, it covers anything that was not said publicly or intended to be passed on regardless of the surrounding context. That means anything said to or by this guy that is not said in public or explicitly intended to be forwarded cannot be used by the legal system for any purpose, no matter how documented or incriminating it is to the client or to him personally. There is no mechanism to remove that privilege form him for being misused because it is derived from his representation of himself as a minister, not his actual status.

According to his linkdin he received a Bachelors degree in creative writing from the University of Rochester, in New York. He then got a Masters degree in Divinity in Organizations from Harvard Divinity School, 1982-1985. These are the only points of education claimed anywhere we have seen. He lists no psychology or mental health qualification anywhere, and is most known as an author. His bookselling success might be due to a claimed promotional appearance on Oprah.

His personal webpage has a long 'client list' or list of 'collaborators' who have hosted speaking engagements. This list was last updated in 2012. The events on his calendar page have no year. I think I recall seeing a section of his website that was only accessible to those who were 'fully committed,' or something like that, but it doesn't seem to be there now. It's possible I'm misremembering, it's possible it got taken down when the reddit thread got popular, I don't have the right skillset to check. He won an award from the Institute of Noetic Sciences, which looks to be engaging in pseudo scientific spirituality in a manner similar to Scientology.

From what I can gather from the video's I've watched, the advice he 'preaches' is a mish mash of bits and pieces of metaphors and perspectives from a variety of religions and philosophies that he probably didn't fully understand. (My speculation.) There are pieces of genuine insight that are lifted from others and that can give the impression he knows what he is talking about to vulnerable people even if he doesn't really understand them himself. He doesn't seem to have any genuine religious beliefs or connections to any religious congregation or organizations. It is unclear if he is or is not technically ordained, but that is something anyone can just do online, and he doesn't even claim it.

Particularly noticeable in his talks are traces of Jungian psychoanalysis (which is the nonsense Jordan Peterson seems to have got caught up in, and it has antisemitic and fascist origins) some Buddhist resilience concepts that have been misused by westerners a lot, and Christian (I think) concepts about universal love and togetherness. They end up mashed together into a message that I believe will influence most victims who hear it to blame themselves and remain in toxic situations, while making perpetrators feel better about continuing to perpetrate. Not saying that was the goal, but if a person had that goal, this patchwork philosophy is what you would put together to achieve it. I'm not going to be specific because I don't want to be like, putting out a guide for people on how to do this.

Amanda says she met the guy before she had a child, but after she was married. That is somewhere between 2011 and 2015. Amanda says she met him at something resembling a TED conference, where all sorts of people got together to do various (rich people nonsense.) She had a mental breakdown in a horse paddock, and the fake therapist was the guy with the horse, teaching about horse whispering.

"And since then, he’s been my therapist, and he’s also become a true friend, to me, and to my family, and to many other people in my life that he’s taken on, and helped out, in some of their darkest hours of need, and he is my emergency phone call. And in a way, he sort of picked up where Anthony, my old mentor, left off, and I don’t find it a coincidence that Wayne walked into my life right around the time Anthony walked out. "

This is not what a therapist does, this is cult leader behaviour. This is pure speculation on my part, but I wonder if Neil might have known him first and orchestrated their meeting. He is an author with connections to an organization similar to Scientology. It might actually not be a coincidence. Again, pure speculation.

Amanda describes seeking advice from him whenever she was having trouble with Neil, and that talking to him would make her feel like everything was fine again. "Even just to have someone to talk to, to remind me what I’m struggling with, what’s going on, what is home, why does this feel so disorienting, what am I doing? And I can say right now, when I shifted my internal feeling within myself, within my relationship with Neil, around where I was, my feeling in my own house transformed. Because I went, oh, right, none of this fucking matters."

In June 2019 Amanda Palmer has the Portland, OR incident where she tells her fans they need to forgive their r@#ists.

In 2019 the fake therapist did a series of webcasts with The Santa Fe Center for Spiritual Healing over a few months. At times he is titled "Rvrd", and at times he is titled "Dr." there is no reason to believe he is either. In the first one, the host reads a bio she found online, that she says he asked her not to read (she appears to think he was being humble.) This version of the bio claims that he was a Senior Scholar at the Fetzer Institute. When he comes on after she read it, he makes odd comments about whoever might be watching the video online and appears very shaken. The Fetzer Institute has no mention of him on their website. That connection is not listed in his current bio.

In his last video for the Santa Fe Center he claims to be working on an upcoming project in D.C. with a co-facilitator who was famous for brokering a truce between the crips and bloods. He also comes across like he has been asked to stop working with the center and is being super passive aggressive about it. (My speculation.)

His appearance on Amanda Palmer's podcast is recorded in July 2019, about a month after the last Santa Fe Center webcast, in upstate New York. In the descriptor she says it was recorded after a week long retreat with him she set up for 60 of her Patrion supporters. There is a nearly two year gap between the recording and posting, which is not explained. She describes him as a minister, therapist, leadership mentor, and her personal therapist. In the episode itself, she also describes him as her and Neil's relationship therapist. In the description she promotes his books and his website, and says he is still readily contactable there, but to be patient right now because he is mid move. (The description was posted when the podcast was posted, in 2021. As mentioned earlier, there are features of his website that have not been updated since 2012.)

The fake therapist tweeted about Neil being a 'dear friend' in late 2020. He has under 100 followers, not really what you would expect for a best selling author / therapist / minister / community leader / mentor / horse whisper. While I make references to cult leader behaviour, a genuine cult leader would probably have a larger following. But somehow I don't think he lacks for money. I expect there is a market for pseudo-therapists you can freely talk to about the crimes you are actively committing. You can even involve him in the crime, and it still privileged.

The events of Scarlett's allegations date to 2022, about a year after Amanda posted the podcast episode. Sometime in March is when Neil manipulates Scarlett into saying the allegations are false with what is essentially a su!c!de threat, then asks her to repeat her assurances that it was consensual to the fake therapist. Amanda had recently received a scorching message from one of Scarlett's friends about what was done to her. It seems like Neil is doing this to win a fight with Amanda in their "relationship therapy." Scarlett gets a message from the fake therapist.

Tortoise describes it as him "saying he'd be happy to speak to her in complete confidence because he had heard that she found herself in his words 'in the midst of relationships, stories and narratives, not alas necessarily of your own making. Sadly, this is not a surprise. Two creative dynamic people can easily draw others into their orbit unaware of how powerfully the magnetic pull of their influences can have on others.'"

My perception of this message is that it plants the suggestion to Scarlett that her friends are brainwashing her to think she was r@ped by pulling her into 'narratives not of her own making.' I could see how people might interpret the later lines regarding magnetic pull as being about accidental power dynamics abuse, but I read it more as him saying Scarlett's friends are opportunistic manipulators looking to make a name for themselves by taking down a famous person.

Either way, there are a considerable number of things happening there that an actual therapist would not ever do, for a variety of very good reasons. Tortoise's attempt to call him to ask for comment was thwarted by the fact that his phone has been specifically programed not to accept voicemails. Not like, the voicemail box was full or something, he went out of his way to do that. Which means Tortoise can't quite claim that he didn't respond to requests to comment, because they couldn't leave a message. Other organizations probably run into similar difficulties establishing evidence that they have contacted him. It's not a smoking gun, but I don't like it.

A year later Amanda Palmer makes her post on the Russel Brand allegations, where she argues the solution to serial predatory behaviour is to try to get them to stop doing "stupid shit" by trying to heal their lacking and fear with love and compassion and forgiveness, because that the ONLY cause / motivation for abusive behavior. And some unarticulated hope for non-specific accountability vibes.

This post looks to me like the perspective of a person who has been continuously exploited, and manipulated into thinking it is their personal responsibility to heal people who have no interest in being healed. It reads to me like a person who has been justifying staying in a toxic situation to themself so long it has warped their entire worldview. It reads to me like the inevitable end result of this fake therapists preaching.

I don't think that absolves her of what ever her role has been in facilitating access to victims, or actively promoting these views to her audience, but it is something to keep in mind.

There is a broad rage of possibilities for what is going on with this guy. The spectrum runs from deeply misguided fool to deliberately exploitative criminal. Either way it looks like he is charging people money for the service of turning them into the "this is fine" dog. This is not fine. This is not ok. Unfortunately it probably is legal.

[thefirst3chapters]

Unpopular opinion (maybe): Luke's ultimatum at the end of Season 3 inadvertently reinforced Jess's choices that stopped him from finishing high school in the first place.

Disclaimer: The intent here isn't to attack Luke for how he handled things. The overall effect of Luke's presence in Jess's life is undoubtedly positive and instrumental to where Jess ended up. Luke was put in an unfair position that he wasn't prepared for, he genuinely cared and tried his best with the knowledge he had, and it would have been well within his rights to say no to Liz to begin with or to Jess when he came back after the car accident.

From what Jess tells Rory in "Teach Me Tonight," it sounds like he never had much academic support from adults, which is of course why Rory's belief in him will end up meaning so much. Details about Jess's childhood that are revealed once Liz is around suggest that Jess didn't have trustworthy adults in his life and had to learn how to be self-sufficient early. Even though we as the audience can see that Luke is responsible and trustworthy through his own actions and his relationships with people who have known him for many years, Jess doesn't have the same history with him, and it can take a long, long time to unlearn those survival instincts. Additionally, Jess's Walmart manager, as gregarious and pro-corporate as he seems to be, doesn't appear to engage in the practice of pressuring introverts to socialize (which happened to Rory at Chilton) and allows Jess to do something constructive and work toward a tangible reward. Some people get these benefits from going to school, but Jess didn't. Then there's a layer of youthful hubris here because Jess really did seem to think that he could manage all of this and go to school just enough to graduate based on what he tells Rory in S3 E17, Luke in S3 E18, and the principal in S3 E19. With of all this information in mind, it's really not surprising that Jess would prioritize work above school. His logic is self-destructive but understandable, and his fatal flaw ends up being that he committed to more responsibilities than a person could reasonably handle. This isn't the standard media portrayal of ditching school.

Luke's approach to being Jess's guardian is fairly hands-off. After Luke's "laying down the law" talk in the first episode Jess is in, the only requirement we see enforced is that Jess has to work at the diner, which Jess complies with. Luke didn't know Jess was working at Walmart at all until Jess bought his car, he didn't know Jess was eventually working more than full-time hours, and he didn't know Jess was missing as much school as he was. (This last one suggests a significant oversight at the school, which is another story.) When the extent of Jess's work hours is brought to his attention and Lorelai speculates about what is going on, he tells Lorelai that there is no way Jess would skip school and doesn't investigate further. When he realizes Jess is working some days instead of going to school, he offers to pay Jess more at the diner (and later steals his car) to prevent him from working at Walmart (the place he worked before he had a car to earn the money to buy it???) but doesn't press him about what is really going on.

So after all of that, it turns out Jess didn't go to school enough to graduate. Luke does give Jess the option to stay in Stars Hollow and keep going to school, but I could never blame someone for not being able to have a rational conversation immediately after a stranger randomly shows up, claims paternity, and runs out. The emotional damage of that incident really can't be divorced from what happens here. Luke is of course also in crisis mode. Jess didn't graduate because he worked too much, so now he's in a position where his consequence is to keep doing what got him into trouble, only this time he doesn't have anyone looking after him. This isn't what Luke is intending, but his ultimatum basically reinforces Jess's mindset of prioritizing work (i.e. short-term financial security) above school and his reluctance to trust other people, and it reinforces Jess's family history (ironically not including Luke) of abandoning difficult situations (in this case, the aftermath of the fight with Dean) and relationships (in this case, Rory) instead of facing them. Jess ends up on his own with the money he had from work that he was saving for a different car, so he probably thinks it's a good thing he worked as much as he did, and he ends up without adult guidance or restrictions to help him sort all this out and repair the harm he caused. This could have turned out much more darkly than it did, and it's really a miracle that Jess got to where he was by the time he was 21.

When Jess is with Jimmy in California, he acknowledges that he's failed and doesn't know where to go from there. It probably isn't outlandish to think that Jess was earning more as a full-time forklift driver than what he is earning during Season 4. Factoring in the lower cost of living in Stars Hollow or somewhere nearby compared to New York, he probably could have been able earn a decent living if he stayed at Walmart (even if he wouldn't have been better off in the long run). That's probably why Luke's "I'm sorry I didn't think driving a forklift for the rest of your life was good enough for you" stung. It was likely a much better situation than whatever Jess is in mid-Season 4.

In late Season 4, Jess seems resigned to where he is. He doesn't complain or blame anyone else for his circumstances, even when Luke repeatedly mocks him in New York. (Even mid-Season 4, Jess doesn't express anger toward Luke about anything other than Luke stealing his car until Luke provokes him multiple times.) Maybe Jess was already thinking about writing a book or studying for a GED during Season 4, but his posture and mannerisms seem to suggest defeat more than anything else. At this point, Jess might not be envisioning anything other than what he has. It is only after Luke accepts Jess for who he is, and stops seeing him as a failed project, ("You are who you are. I cannot change that, and I'm going to stop trying.") that Jess really starts to move forward. Although Luke isn't even very positive in how he says this, it's still the sort of affirmation Jess always needed and maybe never received from a family member before. Then, he's honest with Luke about his emotions, he's receptive to Luke's advice, he expresses appreciation for what Luke did for him, he offers Luke a way to stay in contact, and he makes a commitment to pay him back even though Luke says he doesn't have to do so. He tries (and fails, for the time being) to make amends with Rory, and after all of these things happen, he progresses into the version of himself that returns in Season 6. Jess pursues a path that Luke doesn't quite understand but has accepted and is proud of (it's also a path that Rory does understand and is proud of, and both forms of support are so important).

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi FAQ

Before you send an ask consider checking this FAQ! I'm trying to compile some of the most common questions I see in my notes and inbox. Feel free to send me an ask anyway if you find anything confusing!

But first just some things about asks... I read all of them and feel kinda bad when I don't respond but I can't really respond to everything so:

Most likely will respond:

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FAQ under the cut (there's spoilers)

FAQ

First of all just a disclaimer that I don't actually know everything I try to put sources on the posts but if you see anything wrong here please let me know!

Q: Where is this extra/information from?

A: Dungeon Meshi has several worldbuilding details and extra comics in different publications. You can check this post with the places where the extras/information sources

If you wanna know the source for a specific extra don't be afraid to ask!

Q: Have you ever posted about [subject]

A: I haven't posted about everything related to dungeon meshi but please check my pinned post! I have a list of tags there, if you don't find specifically what you were looking try to search for it on my blog, I do my best to tag stuff so it can be found. If you still have trouble just send me an ask and I can link you the tag!

Q: How old is Thistle?

A: Who knows! Mostly likely he's under 80 (16 in tallmen years) my best guess is that he's 14.

Q: Is there a post Canon Melini Map?

A: Not really (Spoilers)

Q: Isn't Izutsumi a cat that was transformed into a human?

A: That's not a very accurate description, Izutsumi is a beastkin who was created using ancient magic by fusing the soul of a 6 year old child with the soul of a cat monster known as a greater cat. She's not "A cat that was turned into a human" nor a "human that was turned into a cat" as my understanding goes she was both and now she's still both, spoilers but the plot twist of the Lycion extra is that she can never be fully human again (there's more monster than human so she can't transform between the forms like Lycion)

I made a few posts about it

Q: Are fairies made of Jizz? How do females make them? How come Mithrun's doesn't look like him? Can other races make them?

A: Yes. They probably borrow some. Another person feeds it blood. Probably? For better answers please check the fairy tag LOL

Q: Are there monsters outside dungeons?

A: All points to yes, dungeons just seem to have a higher density of mana which allows more monsters to survive in a higher population.

Q: Is resurrection possibly in any dungeons or only in The Island?

A: According to the adventurer's bibles most man-made dungeons have the revival magic active. Here's a post all about resurrection and healing magic:

Q: Why did Fleki get brain damage when her Familiar got destroyed and Marcille didn't?

A: Probably has something to do with the complexity of the familiar and the strength of the connection, lots of people sent some theories pleas check the familiars tag if you wanna read up.

Q: What does the tattoos mean? What do Magic Tattoos do? Only beastmen have tattoos?

A: Those are Magic Tattoos, they work as a supplement for magic, I assume similar to magic circles or magic runes they use in other places in the anime, they aren't necessarily only for beastmen

Q: How does Mana/The Winged Lion/Dungeons work? (and related questions)

A: I made a post about dungeons you might wanna check, haven't done specific posts for the greater demon/winged lion but you can check the tags for some theories/other asks!

I think that's it for now? I'll add more things later if I see more common questions

Mini FAQ about the person running this blog (cause I get a couple of questions sometimes)

Q: Whats your pronouns? Are you brazilian? What do I call you?

A: There's a tiny about me section at the end of my pinned post I'd rather you use she/her or he/him, but they/them is fine, I'm very brazilian and you can call me whatever, Cyan is just a suggestion. You can also check this side blog, it's me

Q: What do you think about [headcanon]/[ship]

A: I probably think it's neat but cant elaborate cause either I'm being socially anxious or I'm afraid of saying something that will generate discourse on my notes LOL

Q: Could you tag [thing]

A: Yes! Please tell me if you'd like me to tag something, both cws or just something you think would be useful to search for. I'm very unaware of what can be upsetting ngl so I often forget to tag 'obvious' triggers, I'm also forgetful and have trouble expressing myself, so feel free to tell me if I said something weird but be nice pwease

[olderthannetfic]

I hate to revive DNI discourse when it just ended on this blog but I often don’t think it’s as deep as people make it out to be and there’s a lot of, for lack of a better word, ~valid~ reasons someone may have a DNI. Like there’s absolutely contexts of “Kink Blogs DNI” disclaimers having an anti, swerf, etc undertone but sometimes I get it — for example I follow a couple of disability activists who post A LOT about incontinence, needing a caregiver, ETC who have stuff like “ABDL/DDLG/Devotee Blogs DNI.” Oftentimes that is not an indicator on their moral stance of those kinks, but rather them just being like “hey this is an activism-based journal where I post about incredibly personal things in regards to my own life, and while anyone has the right to read or reblog from me, if you’re clearly getting off to my medical needs or even if I get the vague impression you are, you WILL be blocked.”

Obviously that is an incredibly extreme and personal example, but I don’t think having a DNI boundary in your bio is ALWAYS a morality/discourse stance. On a much lighter note, I’m pretty active on Kpop Twitter, and there’s a lot of “RPF DNI” accounts there, and I think that’s more of a “I just want to post about my favorite band without shippers quote retweeting/replying to make it about their ship, and if you do so, I’ll block you. They’ve made public statements against these ships or about their real relationships and I am uncomfortable with people trying to dispute that.”

Oh yes there’s absolutely antis who hate RPF communities and all they stand for. But there’s also people who just straight up don’t want that on their account.

And like. As someone casually involved with RPF (i gossip about potential relationships with close friends and will reblog joke posts about it and will read it, but I’m not a writer for it and I’m definitely not someone who actually tries to speculate just how heavy the “fiction” part of an RPF ship might be), whether or not I choose to follow a person with such DNI depends on context. I keep my RPF ships/opinions off my main account, and even if I DO see a post that I would otherwise interpret as possibly shippy, I just won’t bring it up on said person’s posts, you know?

Damn this made me remember I have a DNI myself on one my accounts, 🤣 I have a minors DNI on one of my sideblogs. But I know I can’t prevent minors from seeing my posts or lying about their age or reblogging to a private sideblog or doing anything else that would go unnoticed. But once I do notice you interacting, if you’re clearly underage I’ll block you, just cuz I don’t feel comfortable with minors following my smutty fanart account even if I know minors look at smutty fanart, as someone who did look at smutty fanart as a minor. . .🎶Maybe I’m the problem it’s me. 🎶

--

No.

It's a stupid phrasing and no amount of validity in the criteria will make it less stupid.

No one here thinks they're always deep and meaningful. What we all say every time this comes up is that it's bad to conflate "I will block you if..." and "It is your job to research my boundaries ahead of time".

I'm not interested in people crying about how they like using an inaccurate term and everyone is supposed to understand what they mean. In practice, many people do mean that it's other people's job to enforce their boundaries for them. Validating this garbage terminology just encourages them.

It's a stupid, shitty term and we should move away from it.

[rainbowsky]

The Road is Long

By now most people have likely heard some mutterings about shakeups in turtledom. Let's talk about that a bit.

Disclaimer: As always, everything I say is a reflection of my own understanding of things, my own values and ideas and opinions. There are precious few verified facts available here, so we can never know for sure what the real truth is. Therefore, don't take what I say as fact. It's just my opinion, some melancholy musings, and a bit of CPN. Totally fake, of course.

Today is a day of tremendous grief among turtles, as it is believed by many that the person who was handling the LRLG posts has been shifted off of DD's staff. They made a contribution to the rumor house saying simply, "See you next time."

When I saw that I was heartbroken, as were many turtles. If you've been following LRLG at all, "See you next time" has frequently been their sign-off when making a post. If it's a goodbye, it would be a fitting - and poignant - one, made sadder by the context of this situation.

It's also an important reminder that nothing is permanent. We may see more from LRLG one day.

As of my screen cap, the post already has 18,000 comments. Most of them are tearful and grateful, showering LRLG in thanks for all the blessings and stories they've shared with us. Turtles are crying together, sharing supportive messages and gratitude, and being overall the sweet-hearted people they tend to be. Just loving GG and DD and restating their commitment to support them both through thick and thin.

The top comment is a photo of some turtle graffiti, saying, "The summer that belongs to us, no one can take away."

Of course, it wouldn't be a turtle post without some CPN, and many turtles have been pointing out that if the staff changes and removal of LRLG is real, then all the posts from LRLG are likely also real.

But we already knew that. LRLG has come through with proven messages time and again. This is just more confirmation of what many turtles already believed.

But why is this happening?

No one knows the whole story, and most of it is speculation based on various events and situations that have been unfolding over the past several months. However, the generally accepted narrative at this point is that DD's management has begun to cave under pressure from toxic solo fans who have been pushing a lot of demands, causing a lot of commotion and threatening to boycott the YH concert next month.

Up until recently DD's team has been completely ignoring these behaviors (and IMHO, rightly so). No one knows why the approach has shifted, but there are a lot of possible reasons. One of the likeliest being that investors/backers in DD's career and projects, and in YH (since it's now on the HK stock exchange) have caught wind of the toxic fan situation and are getting nervous.

From the perspective of a single-minded moneybags it looks a lot like DD's team isn't keeping the traffic happy, which wouldn't bode well for their bottom line. So of course, they will want something done to restore order.

What they don't appear to be aware of is just how much of DD's traffic is from turtles. As CP fans, turtles don't have the status to make demands like solos do (nor are they so toxic), so they just have to sit by and watch these changes that are harming turtles. They have no recourse.

Some turtles are disillusioned with DD because they've always seen him as the guy who would never back down. Some are angry and hurt and turning away from DD because of it.

What they don't seem to realize is that it's completely out of DD's hands. He would not be at liberty to go against what his backers want. They will no doubt have convincing reasons why this is what's best for his career, and why it's necessary.

This is just more of the squeeze GG and DD have been under from the beginning. They are commodities - they are businesses. GG said it in his interview not long ago. They all work for 'the star'.

“There are two Xiao Zhans, one of them is here, that’s me. There is another Xiao Zhan, the Xiao Zhan in quotes, but he is probably not me anymore. We are all working for him, including myself.”

As businesses that employ a lot of workers and bring in a lot of money, GG and DD aren't at liberty to do whatever they want. They have financial and contractual considerations to deal with. They have reputational and governmental issues to deal with.

The central focus of business and financial entities is always how to avoid and mitigate risk. To those with a stake in GG and DD's careers (and with every new project and endorsement the number of stakeholders grows), the important thing is to ensure maximum profitability with minimum risk. Fan wars represent risk. Toxic solo demands represent risk. Fan boycotts represent serious risk. Turtles - to some degree I'm sure in the minds of many - represent risk. Danmei and all things associated with it represents risk.

If GG and DD want to keep doing what they do, they will have to keep these stakeholders happy. They have a financial and contractual obligation to do so.

The reality is, we've always known GG and DD are in a precarious position. We've always known the government is against danmei. We've always known that things were tightening up and getting worse and worse every year.

Turtles have no standing as fans. As I've said many times when talking about endorsement brand candies, it's highly unlikely that turtles are taken into consideration when calculating GG and DD's fan bases and fan power. When everyone is sitting around the table having deep conversations about how to keep fans happy, it's highly unlikely that turtles are taken much into consideration, if at all.

DD's team has been ignoring toxic motos and their demands, but they've only gotten worse. They've been leaving hateful comments and lists of demands in response to everything his team posts, and elsewhere. They reported YH to the government for unfair ticketing of the concert*. They've been vocal enough that stakeholders and even some passersby will be aware of their discontent. They've been threatening to boycott the YH family concert next month (which, by the way, turtles have stepped up and bought all the tickets motos refused to buy, and will be making a big showing there).

*And they apparently discovered in response that YH isn't the producer of the show, it's produced by another company in a province that the gov't department doesn't have jurisdiction over. So there are theories that maybe the ticketing approach was part of the production agreement.

And it seems finally someone came along and demanded that DD's team does something to appease these toxic little bitches motos. These aren't just some random group of fans, they're organized and ring-led by DD's biggest fan club. That's the sort of thing that will make stakeholders nervous.

The changes to his Weibo bio are likely part of this - not necessarily directly as a result of motos, but also because of what I was talking about before - risk. Danmei is officially condemned by the government. CQL is a danmei drama.

And some of the changes to his team seem to have happened long before now. Remember, we used to get a lot of exciting, affectionate, interesting content from YBO. The video updates, the comic strips, the little anecdotes from his daily life. All of that has gone away a long time ago, and we've been getting increasingly dry, increasingly unimaginative, officious updates (maybe time to rebrand as 'Yibo Officious' 🤔?).

More of that is likely to come. DD's team appears to be wielding a sledgehammer now, not a poet's pen. Just this morning they posted some photos from DD's Moncler event, and attempted to crudely photoshop the numbers from his sleeve.

For those who were unaware, the text on the sleeve reads: "MF: 032/33." This is a Moncler FRGMT varsity jacket with a limited edition of 33 in the world. DD's is 32 of 33. (And has a big yellow flower on it, I might add.)

Why would they try to hide that DD is wearing one of only 33 jackets that exist in the world? Obviously because 32 is a number that will be associated with turtles/GG. But in attempting to obscure it they are acknowledging that it's a CP number. And who chose that number?

Well, repos say that DD spent a lot of time trying on clothes and deciding on an outfit, and we know how much he loves the numbers 2 and 3 (ai zan - love Zhan). The kadian of the jacket would read, "Zhan love/ZhanZhan."

As some c-turtles have rightly pointed out: the team can photoshop the numbers, but they can't stop him choosing them. They can remove LRLG, but they can't stop him choosing to award a prize to the seat at row 2 #30 (and then switching it to row 3 #20 when he was told there weren't 30 seats in each row) at the Chunzhen brand event, and they can't stop him from sitting in seat #5 at the Born to Fly theater during ADLAD. They can change the time when photos are posted on Weibo, but they can't change the time he sets his watch to in the photo.

EDIT: I have a theory about why this whole photoshop thing might not be as bad as it seems. More about that here.

DD will always be DD. He will always love GG. He will always care about turtles. He will always need (and deserve) our support. If he loses it, then the motos win. Don't let them succeed at their nefarious, hateful agenda. DD doesn't deserve that.

Is this the right move for DD's career?

I was among those who thought DD's team would never back down. They'd held strong for many months. But we should never underestimate the driving force of money, and like it or not (and correctly or incorrectly), in the eyes of investors motos represent traffic and profit. The money men will take over the vehicle if they feel its heading in the wrong direction. They don't care what they destroy if it saves their bottom line. But will it work?

Only time will tell, but I'm unconvinced right now. For a few reasons:

Everyone knows, paid ransom only leads to more kidnappings. The more management teams cave in to toxic fans, the more toxic they become. The more emboldened they become. The more they sharpen their knives and shoot off their mouths. It's only going to get worse. And we're talking about people who are already so full of themselves that they physically attack turtles at events. How much worse will it get? What will their next demands be?

Motos' ability to carry traffic is questionable. While DD is consistently doing well, his fans aren't doing anything spectacular for his endorsements or projects. BAH, Luoyang, his films, they did well but weren't the blockbusters some were expecting. And turtles are pulling a LOT of weight for him. If the goals of solos were successful and turtles were gone and it was only motos left, what would that look like? Maybe it's an inferiority complex from constantly being outgunned by shrimps, but I think motos vastly overestimate their own power as a group.

Further to my previous point, turtles are more powerful than they get credit for. They are constantly counted out and underestimated. DD's team might have factored the risk of upsetting solos, but I doubt they've fully calculated the risk and potential harm of alienating turtles. Although my belief (and hope) is that turtles will stay strong. Turtles have taken so many blows over the years, and they still hold the line. As one turtle heartbreakingly put it in response to LRLG's post, "😭😭😭😭😭😭I cry and I cry for nothing else. It's because the two treasures are too difficult and wronged 🥺🥺🥺 Please rest assured that we will never let go of our original intention to protect them 💚❤️💛 we will never break our promise." Some turtles get it, and it only makes them stronger and more committed. Others will be hurt and walk away. And while GG and DD are going to be fine, while their careers will likely continue to thrive, there is something special that turtles give them that is irreplaceable. If things take a bad turn with this team it wouldn't be the first time an outsider came along and carelessly destroyed something beautiful that they didn't understand. Even without the numbers game, there's a personal cost here that only turtles and GGDD will recognize and pay.

A lot of turtles are feeling emboldened, too. A lot of them are tired of covering their faces, hiding their colors and bowing down. It will be interesting to see how that factors in to everything.

We will just have to watch and wait, and see what happens. Regardless of any misgivings I might have about these issues and about his revised team, I will still continue to love and support DD. More than ever, actually. He will need our love.

LRLG is a role, not an individual

Some of you might have noticed over the past couple of years, that LRLG hasn't always kept the same tone, writing style, inflection, etc. in the messages they've shared. Many people - myself included - suspect that's because there have been shifts in staffing before, and the person doing the LRLG messages has changed in the past.

What hasn't changed is the messages or the manner in which they've been shared with us. If that's true, it's because LRLG was a role or a task that continued to be managed and filled regardless of who on staff was available to take care of it.

It's possible that role has been eliminated from the plan moving forward, which would be different from simply shifting who makes the contributions to the rumor house. I don't know for sure, but it seems like maybe there's no one left on his team who is in on it.

But that doesn't mean that LRLG won't show up again in some other capacity, or perhaps at some time in the future. Maybe the contributions will come from GG's side. We don't know.

My thoughts

Like I said earlier, this is all based on conjecture. No one knows all the details from behind the scenes. There could be a lot more to this issue than we realize. We just have to stay strong, and be patient.

In any case, it's a sad time for turtles, and there's no doubt about that. I am grieving these changes along with everyone else. It doesn't help that it comes right at the time I'm deeply grieving the anniversaries of the deaths of 2 close loved ones.

So I'm sad, very sad. Heartbroken is a better word.

I really didn't GAF about CQL being removed from DD's profile. If anything it's a bit of a relief. It can no longer be a factor. People can stop arguing about it, it can stop being such a focus. It's such an inconsequential thing. But YBO acting like turtle antis? Editing out candy and possibly removing LRLG? GUTTED.

The noose keeps tightening, and GG and DD and turtles are always the ones to pay the price.

This whole thing feels like nothing less than the triumph of homophobia, stupidity, mindless self-importance, toxicity and hate, and I've seen enough of that lately to last me several lifetimes.

One thing I know deep in my heart: GG and DD love turtles, they appreciate us, they care about us, and they will find a way to feed us and show us their love. They are smart, mischievous and resourceful, and they seem to thrive on challenges.

So take heart, my friends, and stay strong. Everything is going to be OK. The road is long.

A final word to the motos: I hate to break it to you, honey, but he's never going to marry you.

EDIT:

Follow-up post on whether everyone's wrong about LRLG leaving here.

Follow-up post about whether DD chose these changes here.

Follow-up post about the photoshopping of the jacket sleeve (and my theory about why YBO might still be our ally) here.

[firefistfiri]

About Billy's true creator...

1.2 leaks ahead !! Read at ur own risk !!

Disclaimer: this is just a theory and speculation!

There's little to no information as to who built him and when he was built. This guy could secretly be like a hundred years old and we wouldn't even know! It's not like he told us for how long he wandered in the Outer Ring all by himself before he joined the Sons of Calydon (very heavily implied) …

But I wanted to point two things out: His official model name, and then the inventor of BANGBOO Sunbringer, which we have seen in the lore teaser on ZZZ's official youtube.

In his Teaser, he described himself as an Intelligent Tactical Unit with Firepower-Based Area Supresson Capabilities .. That's a mouthful..

He might just he flattering himself here, but given that, this might imply that there might be more of his models around, wherever he was created.

This leads me to think that whoever created him has made him for a good purpose. Whether it's military, or hollow exploration. But the real mystery here is did his creator set him free? Did he escape because he passed the forbidden fruit test?

We can say one thing for sure and that is: He either doesn't have a clear memory of his origins for whatever reason that might be, OR he is hiding something.

.. And if you read my Billy lore summary you already know that the ''mysterious Gang'' they're talking about is the Sons of Calydon, and the gang leader refers to Caesar.

You might also remember that I have mentioned that he is not up for talking about pasts, but we don't know if he meant his more recent past or his old past, so both of these ideas could potentially work at the same time imo.

now.. shortly ABOUT SUNBRINGER, INVENTOR OF BANGBOO..

Bangboo are silly little robots that have made living on this earth filled with hollows a little less stressful and terrifying. Now they are simple, but complex at the same time.

Bangboo all have their own tasks to perform, but they also have their own language and personalities!!

I only wanted to mention this because I believe that Sunbringer might have ties with Billy's creator. Since both of their engineering are very complex in my opinion.

Whether either of them are alive stays unknown for now, I might make a deeper dive on these characters introduced in the lore teaser.

Now, I might just be overanalysing things. The world of Zenless Zone Zero has introduced us to many different species in the world and sometimes it's really not that deep. They just exist, and it's normal to them. That could also just be it, end of story.

Now I do strongly believe that we will get a bit more of Billy's lore in 1.2, as it is going to focus on the faction I have mentioned previously, Sons of Calydon, and we will even get to explore a new area which is the Outer Ring!!

... But I am afraid that they will keep it at that, and the rest we have to figure out by trust events and random mentions of the character in story and quest dialogues. Please let me be wrong!!

I mean.. how complex can he really be..?! Am I just overhyping him? Maybe! But It's fun to theorise about, that's for sure!!

Again, please lmk what you think, your theories and if I have skipped some things or have accidentally put misinformation in the post!

[neo-the-indigo]

ANALYSIS/SPECULATION/OPINION TIME! (again)

So I've been thinking about Despair Time (again), specifically Teruko's animosity for David. It got me thinking, since I haven't seen many people mention this.

Why exactly, does Teruko hate David?

(Spoilers for literally the whole fangan. This is gonna be kinda long, so hang in there.)

Quick disclaimer: Some of the stuff in this post is based purely on what I have observed, so let me know if I miss something somewhere. Thanks :)

There are 2 other reasons why I think Teruko hates David, so I will list those reasons before I mention the main reason.

David's "entire personality" (Teruko's words, not mine) is "fake".

I mean, Teruko says this almost verbatum in the 2nd trial, based on her first interaction with David.

To me, this is a weird (but valid) reason to hate somebody.

(I'm not putting the pictures for Teruko's first interaction with David because we've all seen that lol)

2. David throws Teruko under the bus in the first trial.

The whole cast does, really, but David starts it. This is a more valid reason to hate David, in my opinion. David is the first person to be suspicious of Teruko's testimony (because he's a Xander simp, obviously).

This comment sparked the whole idea that Teruko was the killer, and once David said this, the rest of the cast (except for Eden) jumped on the bandwagon.

And after everyone but Eden sided with David, he was the first to accuse Teruko of murder. I'm aware that they had been discussing this before the trial began, but David is the first person to outright say this.

Though both of these reasons are valid, I don't think either of these are the main reason.

So, what's the main reason then?

Teruko hates David because she doesn't understand why he puts on the "nice guy" facade.

Teruko, from what I've seen, has a hard time understanding why David does what he does. I also believe that Teruko is nearly incapable of understanding why David's "entire personality" is fake, and doesn't really see how he (seems to be, based on what I've observed) conditioned to do so.

Here are some possible reasons why she might have some trouble understanding David's perspective.

Teruko's background/lack of talent.

As we all know, the Ultimate Lucky Student talent isn't a real talent, rather this talent exists because of winning a special lottery (according to canon Danganronpa, but for this I'm assuming that it works the same in DRDT universe.)

Unlike Teruko, the rest of the cast are real Ultimates, meaning that a LOT of people are watching them closely, expecting nothing short of the best. This especially applies to people like David and J, who are (in J's case, was) in the public spotlight constantly. Because David has millions of fans, he feels he has to put on a fake persona to appease them, when in reality, that's not his real personality. It's possible that David, like J, has been in the spotlight since he was young, and was conditioned to hide who he really is to appease other people.

Teruko, on the other hand, is a nobody, and doesn't have to deal with any kind of social expectation/pressure. No pressure from parents (since she's an orphan), and because she was constantly on the run, there was most likely no time to make room to please people when there were more pressing things to worry about like food and shelter. This is part of the reason why I think she's so blunt.

2. Teruko lives under a rock. (I love her, but she does.)

Now now, I mean this in an endearing way. Teruko seems like the type of person who couldn't name a celebrity if she tried, because like I said previously, she had bigger fish to fry. What tells me this is her reaction to J's secret reveal in Chapter 2, as well as what Levi and Arturo said to her during that time.

Out of the entire cast, Teruko was the only one who didn't know who J was (as a celebrity).

Based on both Levi and Arturo's comments, I can assume that not knowing who Mariabella Rosales is is pretty similar to not knowing who Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson or Beyonce are. So yeah, Teruko is 100% clueless about celebrities. Her own reaction says this too.

Yes Teruko, being a child celebrity is a big deal, and so is being revealed as the daughter of the most recognizable name in the nation.

Now, what does this have to do with Teruko understanding David?

Thing is, David is a celebrity just like J is, obviously. Biggest difference between them is that he is always in the public spotlight, while J successfully avoided the press. Like I've said previously, David puts on a fake persona because of his millions of fans that he needs to appease.

My point is, Teruko knows absolutely nothing about what celebrities have to deal with every day, so she doesn't think of their heavy influence on society and the constant pressure that they face. To her, being a celebrity isn't a big deal. This is great when it comes to treating celebrities like people, but not so much when understanding different perspectives.

Based on both of these reasons above, if David were to tell Teruko what he goes through as a celebrity, based on her background and limited knowledge of what celebrities go through, I'm not sure that she would understand. There would be a lot of questions in that area.

I don't think Teruko is dumb, but just not knowledgeable in that area. I honestly really hope Teruko and David's dynamic improves and that they can understand each other more (this is unlikely, but a girl can only hope.) Their dynamic is the most interesting to me, and I wanna see how it develops over time.

Tell me what y'all think. I totally did not spend 3 days on this (lol).

[felassan]

Some more possible scraps of interest from possible DA:D leaks on Reddit, from another Reddit user, under a cut due to DA:D spoilers:

first, the usual set of disclaimers that should be kept in mind with all leaks: might not be real, unable to verify at present, sometimes leakers think they’re right about things but are unintentionally incorrect or got some wires crossed, games change a fair bit between development phases and final release, the opinion-based stuff is completely subjective, take with grain of salt etc.

I tried to gather comments together in bundles where it would make sense (if on the same or related topics).

-

They commented on the timepoint of development that their information is from, saying "It's up to date." and that they played much more recently than last October. Someone asked "Alright so this is like alpha or pre-alpha video right? Which means what we see is subject to drastic change." (basically asking if they played the same build as the Reddit leaker who shared screenshots/gif) and they said "Ehh, that would be based on how soon it’s released. Because I’ve playtested it recently, and if that video is old, then they’ve changed essentially nothing about it and probably don’t intend to lol." "Between when your comment was first written and now, I’ve learned enough to be convinced that it was indeed from at least a year ago, so you were right. I’ve just played a much more recent version." "Nope, completely different. But I read through it thoroughly just now, and that person is right. Based on the write-up [Insider Gaming report], it is pretty old. They’re talking about missing textures and placeholders. In my playthrough, they could’ve told me the game was done and I would’ve believed them. Definitely wasn’t from the same test." So it sounds like folks leaking played different builts/different playtests at different times.

Someone asked a bit more detail about what playtesting involves and they replied "Certain part of the game. I played specific missions, story missions, so I wouldn't know anything about the sidequest fluff." "I played in the middle because that’s how most controlled tests for games work. You almost never just hit “new game” and start from the beginning."

Reddit user: "Rook is the name of the protagonist. Like “Inquisitor” was in DA:I." Someone speculated that Rook would be a fridged prologue companion like Jenkins Masseffect (F) and they replied "As someone who has played the game, don’t try your hand at the lottery for a while lol."

Reddit user: "Grey Warden isn't the class" [of the character seen in some of the screenshots] "I’m not confirming or denying the existence of different origins, but “Grey Warden” was not the class."

Reddit user: "I've played it. You can't directly control party members. A more apt comparison (and it's extremely weird that they didn't reference this [referring to the first Insider Gaming report] considering it's another bioware franchise) is Mass Effect. It's exactly like ME's wheel where you hold RB or whatever it was, and choose what ability they use." "They can always change it, but I've played it and unfortunately, I can confirm. I personally don't care as I never switch to companions in games where you can anyway, but it's exactly like ME in that aspect."

Reddit user: "Given the timing, I'm 99% sure his source is someone I played with." "Nothing in the leak that was stated definitively is incorrect." [referring to the first Insider Gaming report]

Reddit user [re: combat]: "I've played it, and tbf, it was closer to XV than to say, DA:I" "Combat felt like Andromeda with melee weapons. Take that for what you will lol." "XV was in reference t the combat wheel. It wasn't over the top at all though, it played like a typical action game (ie not teleporting everywhere)." "I've beaten all 3 [existing DA games] and have played Dreadwolf. It's nothing like the other games. It's action combat. Grounded though, not in a fantastical way like DMC." "I don't remember a wheel in XV, but then again I havent played it in a long time. What it is exactly like though (and them not using this descriptor makes me feel like they don't play bioware games) is Mass Effect. I've played it. The wheel is exactly like the ME games."

Reddit user [re: combat, when someone was asking about hack 'n' slash]: "It's more like Inquisition, although I wouldn't describe it as either. Plays like an action game." "What they meant [in the Insider Gaming article] is that it plays like an action game. So not like any of the DA games" "I described my playtime to friends as "Andromeda but melee"." "I thought it was fun. Funner than the DAs of the past. However I never really took advantage of all the tactical options in Bioware games, so if there's someone who is looing forward to that, they'll probably have significantly less fun than I did." They also confirmed the existence of skill trees, a map, choosing the PC's class, companions who used classes and jumping & a jump button. They said that there are 4 ability slots ("I was only ever able to use 4."). There's blocking but not parrying. Stats are levelled up automatically like they are in DA:I, so no skill points to allocate manually. "I’ve played it with 3 companions and 4 skills."

They confirm the following infos from the first Insider Gaming article:

- "The game still lacks features;" The game is missing voice lines and has a lot of placeholder text. - "Dreadwolf has a lot of similarities with previous games in the franchise;" AND "You can recruit members to your team"; The article basically just describes a Dragon Age game. ***POSSIBLE SPOILER*** "It’s understood that you’ll be able to move from your hub to missions by passing through a mirrored portal." - "You cannot control your team members, but you can issue commands to cast abilities;" Key word here is currently perhaps - "Combat will be hack n' slash-like and will be like Final Fantasy XV;" The article did not say it's hack n' slash like FF15, but the combat wheel itself is more like FF15 (I never played FF15 so I don't know if it's a time-slow type ability wheel or what).

and added on this topic, "I can confirm 75% of what that person has said, and the other 25% I just never experienced. Don't know why they would lie about it." "Unless they change it in the future, you can't directly control companions." "I've played it and can confirm everything in that article except for the release date and multiplayer stuff. You cannot directly control your companions, and its full hack and slash" "Other than what I didn't experience (multiplayer/hub) it's all true. Down to the part about a 1/10th of the lines not being recorded yet." "I can confirm almost everything in that leak." "Multiplayer I didn't experience, nor did I experience the hub world that was described, although the portal thing is true." "The hub thing he described, I never played, but I did use the portals he was talking about." They also commented on the missing voice lines, "It's implemented, they're just not all there yet. During my playthrough Id say maybe a 10th of the lines were missing, and a good amount of the monster sounds." "Oh for sure, it’s definitely not a mess at this stage. On the contrary, the environments are pretty beautiful. Only things that were missing were a few audio clips."

Reddit user [re: mirrored portrals and an open world]: "I can't confirm the existence of one, I could've just never experienced it from my time with the game, but I myself never played anything that could be considered open world. Funny enough, I never thought about that until your question just now. But it would make sense from what I played."

Reddit user: "Combat's are great, cutscenes' are decent. Best ever as far as Bioware is concerned (which should be a given). What's not great are the facial animations. Granted the game isn't done yet (and might be far from done, who knows), but as of rn, it's Andromeda 2.0"

Reddit user [re: not controlling party members]: "It's true." "Unless they change it sometime before release, which I doubt, I can confirm that you cannot." "I can confirm. You can't directly control them." They also commented that companion control felt like Mass Effect.

When someone said "i hope they don't mean a real "action" combat, and it would still have those Dragon Age" they replied "That's exactly what they mean." Someone mentioned no party member control and hack n slash, FF combat and they replied "Can confirm, both are true. I wouldn't say "will be like XV", and technically that's not what he said either. What he meant was that it's more of an action combat, not that you'll be teleporting around." Someone asked if it compares to Elder Scrolls and they said "Uhhh, yeah I guess. I usually play Elder Scrolls in first person, so that comparison would be kinda weird to me, but third person elder scrolls I guess would be more accurate than any of the past DA games. ES combat has no weight to it though, and this has weight. For real, it plays like Dark Souls games if you took out the invincibility frames and all the things that make them "hard"."

Someone asked about the party size, and they replied "Yeah, 2 party members and then a third based on what mission you're playing. Weapon wheel to control 3 abilities each for the two companion's you've brought and then 4 of your own abilities." "Now I will say, Idk how far I was into the game, so it's possible that it'll eventually open up to 3 of your choosing, but I played multiple missions and the third person was whoever you were helping at the time." "It’s still 4 [party members in total, so PC+3]."

Someone asked about what's happening to Solas and they replied "I have no idea lol. He was mentioned in passing seeing as he's the big bad now, but I never saw him or anything." "in Mass Effect for instance right? WHat Sovereign was up to wasn't described in every main mission. It wasn't even described in most of them."

Reddit user: "The look of the hair was pretty damn good I will say, the physics of it though, I didn't really pay attention to. Everything about the graphics looked sufficiently next gen, except for the facial animations. They're still Andromeda level, maybe a step up." "Everyone else's hair is great. Your character's hair is...decent." "Graphics are sufficiently next gen except for facial animations. They were the one stand out." "Movements are less stiff feeling, even when people are still. Animations and movement are better as well. They were satisfying to me, but of course, that’s subjective." "visuals and performance were pretty solid from my experience. That could obviously change though."

On facial animations someone asked them "You said that facial animations were only a bit better than those in Andromeda, but how do they compare to Inquisition? Because I think in Inquisition they were somehow better or at least didn't stand out that much like in Andromeda, despite the latter being newer game. I think I'll be okay with them being just a bit better than in Inquisition" and they replied "I’m looking at clips of Inquisition now and I think you hit the nail on the head when you said “at least didn’t stand out as much” because tbh, Inquisition and Andromeda weren’t that far apart in that aspect, they were definitely made using the same process, but Inquisitions somehow don’t stand out as much. Idk whether it’s because a lot of the people talking aren’t human or what. But it looks more like that than Andromeda. But because technology has gotten better, it looks better than both. I guess the conclusion is it still has that stiffness that both of them have, where it looks a couple steps removed from a robot that gets told to move pieces of their face X way at X time, but then at the end come back to Z position. So I guess I’d say the faces look and move like an HD Inquisition. I would’ve compared it to that instead of Andromeda, but I never realized they were so similar until you pointed it out lol."

Reddit user: "Yup, a KO for you is game over." [a KO for the PC]

Reddit user: "The maps feel like they could've came from DA:I design wise."

Reddit user: "It feels the same but different. I know that's an incredibly bs non-answer but it's true. It feels like a 2023 Bioware Dragon Age. For better or for worse. Anybody expecting DA:I 2 will be disappointed." "It'll probably be worth it [the wait] in the sense that DA fans will find it passable. But at this point (keep in mind the game still isn't done) it's not something that feels like it took 10 years to make or anything. Which is probably due to them reportedly restarting development multiple times." "I'd say most things about the game definitely feel more like Andromeda then DA:I" "If they keep it pretty much the same as my playtest, average players will be happy, but people who play Dragon Age games specifically for the Dragon Age gameplay probably won’t be. It’s completely different."

Someone asked about whether it answers DA lore questions, and what the storytelling/spread of storytelling is like and they said "I was dropped in and out of missions, so idk, but I will say it has A LOT of story elements from DA:O" and then "Same answer"

On characters they said "I didn't spend a significant enough amount of time to make that call [whether they're as interesting as the chars in DA:I. they're quirky though" "I think the character designs are sick, but that's completely subjective." "I wouldn't say I had enough time with the characters to get emotionally invested." Also someone asked if the characters are 3D, realistic and complex and they replied "Stereotypes unfortunately". Someone asked how the dialogue compares to ME:A, expressing the opinion that their "biggest issue with MEA was the MCU-esque style of writing that made the dialogue sound like it was ripped from bad tumblr fanfics. I couldn't take most of the cast seriously because they sounded more like caricatures than real characters." They replied "😬 bad news my man. What you just described is exactly how I would describe it.

Reddit user [re: armors]: "Im not sure how to answer that. Nothing really stood out, if that helps. But then again, idk what parts of the game I played. Could've been closer to the beginning where you just get the plain stuff."

Someone asked them "was the camera a tight over-the-shoulder cam like Andromeda, or was it more zoomed out / character centered like DAI / other 3rd person games?" and they replied "Zoomed out, but then tight when you use the weapon wheel (which youll be using a lot)" The other user asked if it was like Mad Max, and they said "Actually that's not a bad comparison. Picture the camera a bit further out though." On tac cam, they said "I was part of the leakers playtest. As of now, there is literally no tactical camera, but like you said, who knows if they’ll add it sometime before release. Just don’t get your hopes up."

Someone asked them "Does it feel like a medieval fantasy game still? It looks so sci fi to me, like the eluvians are shitty Rick and morty style portal guns all of the sudden. Does the neon purple take away from that feeling at all?" and they replied "It didn’t feel sci-fi to me but it sounds like you’re referring to a deeper level than just baseline aesthetics, and for that I think it’d be subjective. If you’re not though, no it still felt distinctly fantasy. Some parts more medieval than others." Someone also asked about warriors breaking stuff in the world, mages restoring terrain and rogues picking locks and they replied "Let’s just say…the game doesn’t play in a way that requires those anymore."

Reddit user: "Map design was one of the best parts, and boy were they gorgeous. The greenery specifically was the only thing in the game where I was like "This is exclusively next gen, like they couldn't have done this on last gen"."

Reddit user: "I thought it was fun, but I mean fun is subjective. Things were changed about the series that some long time fans will hate and some people who never liked Dragon Age will now love, such as the lack of tactical options." "I thought the combat was fun, but fun is subjective ya know? For instance, you guys already know that all the tactical stuff is gone, and for someone looking for that, they wouldn’t find it fun. I guess the takeaway could be that it’s by no means bad. Footage and screenshots are real. That’s 100% the game."

Reddit user: "I’ve played it. Recently. And all of the things people are giving the “year old” line in reference to are still the case. So the likelihood of them being changed are very slim."

Someone asked them "Hello! Could you share (or hint in some way) if some of the characters from previous games will make an appearance? (Beside Varric and Solas, obv). Some old leaks implied Bioware considered dual protagonist at some point, so I'm wondering if it turned into something. Or, at least, any mentions about Inquisition?" and they replied "[besides Varric and Solas] Literally the only people I saw/heard about lmao, sorry. I also never experienced anything regarding dual protagonists."

Someone asked them "Did it look to be anywhere near close to done??? I mean it's kinda a dumb question because on one hand I think you may have only played a certain area... On the other though I don't know anything about why you playtested, nor do I want to but, I am interested in knowing more about the overall size, comparison of detail to say like anything new gen, and whether or not they incorporated newer tech such as haptics, adaptive triggering, graphic upgrade and is the story intriguing or pushed... You know.". They replied:

"No no, that’s not a dumb question at all. Tbh, they could’ve said it was releasing at the end of the year and I’d believe them. The only thing I could see that wasn’t finished were the voice lines, and not even that many weren’t recorded. Maybe 1/10th. Graphics were superb except for the facial animations (and given Andromeda, that might just be how they’re going to stay). Controls were solid, enemies were solid, abilities were solid, UI and menu all looked unique and finished. General gameplay was in a finished state. Had a couple glitches here and there but nothing that couldn’t easily be ironed out.

[re: about the overall size, comparison of detail to say like anything new gen] From what I played, it seems more instanced than open world like DA:I, so I can’t really compare it in size, and obviously the previous 2 games have been outclassed in terms of technology.

[re: whether or not they incorporated newer tech such as haptics, adaptive triggering] Not that I saw, but idk if that’s the type of thing they’d incorporate anywhere before near the end of development. You sound like you’d have a better idea of that than I would though.

[re: graphcis upgrade] Graphics are for sure upgraded. The flora in particular I would say wouldn’t have been able to be created before the PS5 gen. It’s that good. Environments, clothing, faces were up there as well (clothing and faces could’ve been better with your character, but everyone else’s were next gen).

[re: is the story intriguing or pushed] The thing about judging a story is that even the most interesting ones fall flat if you experience it out of order (unless that’s the author’s intention), which I did. Even with putting bits and pieces together from what the characters were saying, I really felt nothing because I was coming in mid storyline."

[source] <- read the comments in context for them to make the most sense ofc :)

Edit - Update:

New comment of interest from the user (thanku @ladymacbethsimp for letting me know!). Someone asked them "can you attribute a single emoji to every companion you saw? like an out of context spoiler kind of thing". They replied "Hmmm I can try…" and posted these three emojis/series of emojis:

The screenshots I have included here are screenshots of the same comment from 2 different devices side by side, as emojis/emoji groupings can change appearance depending on OS etc.

so.. an elven Black man, red hair woman and woman mage?

[amorremanet]

disclaimer: blah blah blah, this post is just one person’s opinion, blah blah blah, I’m basing said opinion on my own observations but there are no doubt pieces of the story that I’m missing and my opinions should not be treated as fact, something something, DO NOT harass the volunteers at AO3 support or anyone else over any of this, if you harass anyone over this then you are the asshole, period. not a debate, just a fact.

SO, LIKE. I honestly don’t have anything of actual significance to add to the current round of AO3 Discourse because all of my complicated feelings on it have already been said better by other people

(e.g., axing “all media types” tags was a bad idea; some fans may not like them but they are too broadly helpful to be done away with entirely; this is a complex issue, there is likely no way to make literally everyone happy; there should’ve been more transparency and AO3 upset people more by rolling the change out with little to no warning; lumping former “all media types” works into a specific fandom silo was all but guaranteed to piss people off; the Archive userbase being hair-trigger makes a lot of sense after some of AO3’s very high-profile fuck ups in the past few years; however, the three (3) volunteers handling the support tickets are not the people who made the decision and it’s garbage that they’re the ones who are left dealing with so much of the vitriol from upset fans; etc. etc. etc.)

My big question in all of this is: if the people on the tag-wrangling committee who made this decision actually thought that getting rid of the “All Media Types” tag was going to be a broadly popular decision with a lot of support from users, then why didn’t AO3 do more to announce this change to users before it started being implemented?

If we are supposed to believe the version of the story that has come out from AO3’s people, the one where they really did believe that it was in the best interests of the majority of AO3 users to get rid of “All Media Types” tags, then why doesn’t their behavior about the decision reflect that? Why didn’t they post more to let Archive users know that this was coming? Why didn’t they talk up what a great change this was going to be and how many people and fandoms would allegedly benefit from it?

Why is it that most users (readers and authors alike) seem to have found out about this from popular posts on reddit, tumblr, or twitter, all made by aggrieved fans whose fandoms have been negatively impacted by the decision? Because as far as I can tell, there was a single solitary post on the official AO3 tumblr about this, which went up AFTER the change had started rolling out and got its reblogs turned off because of all the backlash?

Not to treat “say that shit with your chest” as uniformly useful advice, but……… Come on, AO3. If you really stood behind the decision to get rid of “All Media Types” tags as much you’re claiming—if you really, truly believed that it was in the best interests of the Archive as a whole and that the majority of Archive users would support you in it—then why didn’t you say that shit with your chest?

Because to me, failing to announce the change ahead of time—and then only doing the bare minimum to let users know—looks like moves to try and hide what’s happening, which does not make me, personally, inclined to believe the “We really thought that this would be a popular decision with broad user support” story

I do not have any explanations for what could’ve happened instead of the official story. Moreover, I’m don’t actually want to speculate on that beyond saying “The way this was publicly handled makes me personally feel disinclined to believe the official story” because conspiratorial bullshit thinking like that doesn’t help anybody (it’s way more likely to cause unnecessary harm, especially by spreading ideas that may sound true enough but are probably not gonna be based in reality, when you get down to brass tacks about it)

But the way that this whole change was handled publicly makes me personally feel disinclined to believe the story as put forth by the official post from AO3, and as a longtime Archive user with millions of words of fic posted on the site, who donates to AO3 and the OTW when I can? I really don’t enjoy feeling like I have even more reason than before to distrust Archive staff :/

[oraclekleo]

[Idols After Dark] The Darks Side of Christopher Bang (Stray Kids)

You can see this as a reversed version of usual appreciation posts where fans describe all the good and positive sites of their favourite idols. However, nobody in the world is perfect, am I right? And according to famous psychologist Carl Gustav Jung we should accept, embrace and bring to light all our negative and dark sites as well because they only become dangerous for us if they stay hidden within our souls. And to honour this great man I decided to bring to the light some of the more negative aspects of an idol's personality to appreciate them in a way.  

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Are you excited? Are you curious? Are you outraged because idols have no flaws at all? Let's see!

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Disclaimer: I have never met any of the idols or celebrities in person, I don't know them in any other way than what is publicly known about them and probably even less because I'm constantly busy and I didn't read everything about them. This whole post is based on my pure speculation, it was made for entertainment purposes and I have to put it clear it has nothing to do with real people. It's all just a mere fiction, please don't take any of it seriously. You have every right to disagree with anything written in this text and I welcome all kinds of constructive and respectful criticism, please feel free to express your opinions in the comments or request inbox. All I ask is to keep it civil and decent. I thank  all of you in advance! 

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Christopher Bang is a highly respected and loved leader of Stray Kids and that’s not an easy task. It takes a special and strong personality to manage that kind of responsibility and we will agree that Bang Chan is the right man for the job. However, not even the best people are flawless. Let’s find out what hypothetical downsides Chan could have.

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Bang Chan is a highly respected artist and that comes with a certain ego. He might get really upset when he feels like he’s not heard, his ideas are not taken seriously or are ignored. It might trigger him and his ego gets bruised by such disrespect. Bang Chan is a perfectionist to the highest level. He might suffer terribly when something he does or says is imperfect or flawed in his opinion, he will beat himself up over it and take any minor setback or failure to his heart. He needs to understand that making mistakes isn’t the end of the world, that he’s not less cool or perfect when he stumbles. He’s his own worst critic and it’s possible he might have many unfinished projects on his plate. Leaving them like that, saves him from facing the possible imperfection of a finished project. Bang Chan is likely to self-censor himself a lot, too and often run the “I shouldn’t…” in his head. Which is a shame because he definitely should, whatever he is thinking about. Lol. His own standards for himself are insanely high, though and he might need to let loose a little bit sometimes because he’s creating such an enormous pressure on himself.

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Chan might sometimes jump to conclusions and become hasty, not thinking things through properly. His mind is likely always brimming with ideas but sometimes they might become scattered and chaotic and Chan himself loses control over them. He might have tendencies to overthink and he has a huge distaste for routine. His moods can change easily based on his own perception of himself but at the same time he puts a lot of importance on what other people think about him. Interestingly enough, he might tend to dismiss praises and compliments but he will take any criticism to heart, which might sway him into the downward spiral of self-doubt. Bang Chan might suffer from days when he simply feels completely unlucky, like if the entire world was against him. It might make him question the traditions or customs as he feels like he needs to rebel against the order of things. He’s idealistic and an individualist, he doesn’t like when people put others and especially him into boxes. Trying to label him will make Chan feel offended. There’s only one of him and he’s the only original of himself, he will never fit into categories people made up.

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Chan being the perfectionist, he will try to control his environment and sometimes even people around him. He can spot flaws easily, actually he might even spot flaws which are not there. He can become stubborn and reserved sometimes when he feels like others don’t understand him. Chan can become lethal in arguments as he will adopt all kinds of ideas and views simply to win the argument. He can become moralistic and nitpicking during the argument, obsessed with details and scrutinising his opponents words. Losing in discussion isn’t an option for Bang Chan. When the argument is over and he has won, he feels no shame to leave all the moral ideals he has been using in the argument earlier. They are not needed anymore and he might just act against them himself making him seem hypocritical to his opponent.

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When it comes to love, Bang Chan is not exactly an expert, we might as well call him a dilettante. He might become pretty clingy as he only feels secure in a partnership. It doesn’t matter whether he goes to a social gathering or to the convenience store at the corner of the street, he needs someone to accompany him. At the same time, he spots flaws on his partner pretty easily which can lead to frequent rows. It’s not recommended for his partner to ogle other men as Bang Chan can easily become possessive and jealous. His constant self-doubts and high standards he has for himself will make him think he’s not good enough for his partner and throw him into frustration. In case Bang Chan gets disappointed or deceived by his lover, he’s likely to become bitter and it will take him a long time to heal and start trusting people again.

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All in all, Bang Chan is a highly sensitive and perfectionist man, who needs people close to him to keep his feet on the ground. When he enters the slippery slope of self-bashing over something, his close ones should make sure to stop him and give him the needed perspective. Chan might come off as a bit immature still, it’s very likely he will become more balanced in older age.

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[theonevoice]

Rumination n. 1 - Why we don’t need the coffee theory (or any other theory)

Disclaimer: this is, of course, my personal reading of Good Omens season 2; it’s mostly a way for me to cope with the heartbreak, and does not intend to deny the validity of any other interpretation that you may prefer.

As we all collectively trudge through the five stages of grief after Good Omens season 2 finale, many theories are coming to life to make sense of the protagonists’ breakup. One of the most shared is the so called “coffee theory”, which formulates the hypothesis that the Metatron could have spiked the infamous coffee with a brainwashing miracle in order to convince Aziraphale to follow him back to Heaven. An interesting variant of the same theory speculates instead that the coffee itself could be not spiked per se, but metaphorically spiked, so to speak, in that it functions as a “coded message" based on the name of Nina’s shop, Give me coffee or give me death. According to this variant theory, the Metatron (who was conveniently commenting on the name of the establishment just before the scene in question) has not put any miracle on the coffee, but is using the gesture of offering the coffee as a way to implicitly threaten Aziraphale: so when he offers the cup and asks him “Are you going to take it?”, the underlying message would be “I can give you this coffee or I can give you death” (death potentially meaning not just his death, but also – or rather – Crowley’s death, or Crowley’s existence removed from the Book of Life). Other theories propose that the two didn’t actually fight, but that either Aziraphale was lying to Crowley or both of them were staging a false fight because they have guessed that the Metatron is up to no good and they intend to thwart his plans. The one that I personally find the wildest even goes as far as imagining that the Metatron rewrote entire parts of the protagonists’ past, messing with the Book of Life (even if we are never told if this is how the Book works – meaning if it is a precise record of all history from which one could erase or modify individual bits, or rather it’s just an index that lists the existence of every living being) in order to bring them to the final point.

Now, I am all for fan theories, and I strongly believe that the capacity to inspire such intellectual and emotional involvement in a story is the ultimate demonstration of how amazingly well made (and how deeply loved) this show is, so I am not trying to bring down the effort of any fan who is proposing or supporting these theories. On the contrary, I wholeheartedly admire the unbelievable eye for details, the analytical skills, the time, and the genuine creativity that many fans are showing in formulating such theories. I just don’t think that we necessarily need them.

First, I find that putting a factor of external pressure on that ending would undermine the agency of both characters and the deep emotional construction of the scene. But mainly, I don’t think that the story, analysed from a strictly “narrative balance” point of view, needs a theory to explain how we get to the finale, which is, in my opinion, perfectly understandable as the resolution of a totally psychological and emotional struggle. That masterful confrontation in the bookshop is the surprising but inevitable culmination of a minor, yet lethal, misalignment of Crowley’s and Aziraphale’s positions. A misalignment that they never made the effort to correct, because they were too caught up in their respective fears. I believe that the Job minisode, especially the final dialogue, is already more than enough to set up the "cracks" that, centuries later, will bring about the ep 6 breakup. What does this dialogue show us?

On one side, the minisode shows us that Crowley is afraid of being alone in his “independent agent” chosen path: his very attempt to initially deny it, in the cellar scene, sounds to me as evidence that he is not comfortable with that scenario of complete loneliness (he’s not saying “yes, it is lonely, but who cares”). So, as soon as he spots Aziraphale’s hesitation, he immediately convinces himself (and tries to convince him) that he has found a companion that would share his “third party” option, and begins to refer to Aziraphale – sometimes indirectly, but always clearly, in my opinion – as a sort of twin figure: “That’s how it started for me” (reading as “after all, we are the same”), and “You are just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can” (which is the exact label that he has previously used to describe himself). His deepest fear is to be alone and his deepest need is to find someone “like him” who would turn his lonely “my own side” into a shared “our side”, as we’ve seen him long for since season 1. This led him to ignore the main struggle that consumes Aziraphale for the entire length of their relationship, which is his fear of facing his feelings, and by refusing to acknowledge this fear (which would undermine his need to convince himself that they are just the same in every respect) he opens a first subtle crack in their relationship.

On the other side, the minisode shows us also that Aziraphale is scared to death of loosing his angelic identity and not knowing what he is anymore. He is afraid that stepping away from Heaven would leave him without a well-defined moral framework and he would be overwhelmed by the uncertainty of the world, falling into a radical, utter existential crisis (in that respect, I personally find his characterization deeply human and as close to a universal feeling as a piece of fiction can go). This means that, as he realizes his affection for Crowley, he panics, because what would it mean for an angel to love someone who is “not good”? It would force him to question not just his allegiance to Heaven but his very identity, or at least the specific kind of clear and unambiguous identity that he needs to hold on to. A need confirmed by the many occasions in which, despite his fleeting conversion to "shades of grey", we see him consistently tied to his black-and-white mentality (from the very initial "We are hereditary enemies" to the last "Obviously you said no to Hell, you're the bad guys!"). So, in order to protect his heavenly self, he resorts to just denying Crowley’s identity instead: repeatedly telling him (almost as if he's trying to talk his wish into existence) that he is “a good person”, that he is still an angel who has only temporarily strolled away from the “right path”, waiting to be brought back to Heaven with the help of an undisputed angelic influence. This led him to take Crowley for granted (notice the "I knew you would come through for me, you always do", and the even more telling “Rescuing me makes him so happy”), and opens a parallel and equally dangerous crack in their relationship. His feelings for Crowley are a point of absolute internal conflict for him, and he reacts with fear and withdrawal every time that he feels their pull getting stronger, like during the conversation on the bandstand (by the way, known spot for proposal in Battersea Park, which means that Crowley unusually calling him there and asking him to “go off together” was quite literally a “will you marry me” moment). His “You go too fast for me, Crowley” perfectly represents this struggle, but further proofs of it are everywhere in his lines, in both seasons: think of “There is no our side. […] I don’t even like you!”, or “That’s what friends do”, or the reaction to Gabriel’s allusion of being comforted by the presence of someone special (“I have no idea what that feels like”), which, being pronounced in a scene where Crowley is not present, sounds to me as evidence that Aziraphale is not just acting shy specifically in front of him, but is in fact in full denial of their relationship.

This selective blindness of each other’s deepest needs and fears is, to me, perfectly sufficient to set up the finale without the need to have the Metatron pulling some unfathomable trick on them. Especially if we consider that season 2 is full of moments that bring up the pressure on this dangerously weak point of their situation.

The apparently minor and funny detail that Crowley has lost his flat to Shax and is living in the Bentley, for example, as much of a gag as it is, is also a throwback to the moment in season 1 where he had offered Aziraphale to stay at his place after the bookshop burned down, and Aziraphale had refused on the account of “his side not liking it very much”. I was surprised, at first, that Aziraphale would let him live in a car for – as I understand – a few years (!), but thinking back on that season 1 moment, the fact that they both let this happen is actually totally in line with what has been established: whether they didn’t talk about it and pretended that it wasn’t happening, or they joked about it in their classic not-serious way and then just left the conversation hanging, it’s a manifestation of the underlying tension that stops Aziraphale from committing and pushes Crowley in a place of sadness and grumpy uncertainty (where we find him in the first episode of season 2). On top of this, we have plenty of exacerbating factors building up. Nina making Crowley realize that his connection to Aziraphale is in fact love, and then her and Maggie’s final advice in the bookshop, push him to go even “faster” than ever before and ignoring how scary that would make Aziraphale. Aziraphale setting up the ball and then basically falling into his own emotional trap, and then witnessing the bravery (from his point of view) of Gabriel’s and Beelzebub's choice to leave everything behind and go off together, brings him on the verge of finally admitting his feelings, which is great but is also a point of extreme psychological exertion for him, that makes him vulnerable to the first “win-win option” who appears to literally drop from the sky and save him from this impasse.

In fact, I am inclined to believe that the timely appearance of the Metatron proves that Aziraphale was about to reach a conclusion that Heaven would not have liked, and that the Metatron himself was spying on the situation and decided to step in at the worst possible moment to take maximum advantage of his state of emotional confusion. Let’s add to all of this the fact that neither of the two has any “emotional education”, to quote Flaubert, and knows how to express feelings: they rely on popular romantic fiction to articulate their love, and the writing of the Nina-Maggie storyline is a very clear message about how unreliable these oversimplified scenarios are in real life.

(I feel the moral and academic obligation to note that Jane Austen’s plots are not oversimplified in any possible way, but, considering how he summarises them, I am under the impression that Aziraphale doesn’t really get the subtleties of her writing.)

That’s why, all considered, I don’t think that we need the coffee theory, or any other theory, to explain what happened. Because what happened is fully explained by what we have seen Crowley and Aziraphale do over the centuries, and by what season 2 explicitly tells us about how complicated love is.

Crowley and Aziraphale undoubtedly love each other very much, painfully even, but that is not enough to establish a mature relationship if you never make the effort to check both your and the other person’s deepest issues, to grow and learn how to process them, and to “say what you are really thinking”.

[narcoticwriter]

So this is how I break my Tumblr fast.

Dexerto: "This list has the speculative ages and heights for every Genshin Impact character so far based off of the canon storyline and respective character lore!"

Me: "You're joking."

Disclaimer: I take some creative liberties and personal interpretations into account as well as additional lore and speculation that wasn't taken into consideration in the initial list linked. I am not a canon authority nor should I be treated like one. And just in case, there will be spoilers concerning past limited events if you care about that.

Notes -

Before I start, I would like to say that I'm not slandering or clowning the person that came up with it nor do I feel the need to do so.

They likely don't have the same capacity to peruse the wiki as well as somewhat memorize a good chunk of it like me. They were probably just trying to write a fun, speculative article for a target audience and as such, I'm also having a bit of cheeky fun responding to it. It's all in good faith and fun, after all.

Feel free to share your opinions and thoughts on these as well, but like I said, it's not meant to be taken that seriously. I'm always down to consider other perspectives, but I'd appreciate it if I wasn't attacked for my own, thank you.

The List -

The following will cover every playable character up to 3.8, be in alphabetical order, and some will have little blurbs that explain why and how I came to those conclusions.

Aloy does not count as in Horizon: Zero Dawn, you'd likely find it in much more certain terms than Genshin Impact.

Also, we all know that the in-game models lie as we have Albedo's hair to prove it, so those will be ignored and I'll take from the story and basic anatomy instead.

Albedo -

Age: Presented as being in his mid-twenties, actually 300+ years old given his lore and the speculation about his master, etc.

Height: 5'7"-5'8"

Al-Haitham -

Age: Mid-to-late twenties, two years younger than Kaveh

Height: 6'1"

Amber -

Age: Late teens given the timing of the manga lore and definitive dates given, although manga lore being in tune with game lore could be questionable on occasion

Height: 5'5"-5'6"

Arataki Itto -

Age: Definitively in his mid-twenties

Height: 6'5" without the horns, 6'10" with them

Baizhu -

Age: Mid-to-late thirties, given his learned ways in medicine, how he carries himself, and the recent lore

Height: 5'9"-5'10"

Barbara -

Age: Early-to-mid teens

Height: 5'3"

Beidou -

Age: Mid-to-late thirties given chronology and lore, definitively younger than Ningguang

Height: 5'8"-5'10"

Bennett -

Age: Early-to-mid teens

Height: 5'6"

Candace -

Age: Late twenties to early thirties, seems to be older and less hotheaded given her character stories

Height: 5'9"

Chongyun -

Age: Late teens, a few months younger than Xingqiu

Height: 5'7"

Collei -

Age: Mid-teens, given the lore in the manga, but as with Amber's lore, it can be brought into some question considering other factors

Height: 5'3"

Cyno -

Age: Early-to-mid twenties, around the same age as Tighnari, but not definitively as the speculative lore can bring certain things into question

Height: 5'7"

Dehya -

Age: Mid-to-late twenties

Height: 5'10"

Diluc -

Age: Early-to-mid twenties, given manga lore and explanations for Amber & Collei respectively, six months older than Kaeya

Height: 5'11"-6'0"

Diona -

Age: Older child to barely a preteen, one or two years older than Klee

Height: 4'2"-4'7" (taking how one measures her feet with the height and different biology)

Dori -

Age: Anywhere from late teens to late thirties because being twelve and being this rich as well as having some good business sense? Nah.

Height: 4'6"-4'8" (she might not be twelve, but she's still short)

Eula -

Age: Early twenties, two years older than Amber

Height: 5'10"-6'0"

Faruzan -

Age: Presented as in her early-to-mid twenties, actually 100+ years old given lore and character stories

Height: 5'5"

Fischl -

Age: Early to mid-teens

Height: 5'6"

Ganyu -

Age: Presented as being in her mid-to-late twenties, actually 2000+ years old and possibly older

Height: 5'5"-5'7"

Gorou -

Age: Mid-twenties

Height: 5'6"-5'8"

Hu Tao -

Age: Late teens to early twenties, six months to a year older than Xingqiu

Height: 5'4"

Jean -

Age: Early-to-mid twenties given the respective comparisons to other characters in the manga lore, six months to one year older than Diluc

Height: 5'9"-5'10"

Kaeya -

Age: Early-to-mid twenties given manga lore, six months younger than Diluc

Height: 6'0"

Kamisato Ayaka -

Age: Late teens to early twenties, at least three to five years younger than Ayato

Height: 5'4"-5'5"

Kamisato Ayato -

Age: Mid-twenties, at least three to five years older than Ayaka

Height: 5'10"-6'0"

Kaveh -

Age: Mid-to-late twenties, two years older than Al-Haitham

Height: 5'10"-5'11"

Kaedehara Kazuha -

Age: Early-to-mid twenties, at least three years younger than his friend before his death

Height: 5'6"-5'7"

Keqing -

Age: Mid-twenties, at least a year younger than how Ganyu is presented as

Height: 5'4"

Kirara -

Age: Late teens given her unique circumstances

Height: 5'3"-5'7" given her biology concerning her feet

Klee -

Age: Younger child, one or two years younger than Diona (this can be disputed given her race and some lore)

Height: 3'6"-3'9"

Kujou Sara -

Age: Definitively in her mid-twenties, at least one year older than Itto

Height: 5'10"

Kuki Shinobu -

Age: Mid-twenties, at least six months older than Itto

Height: 5'4"-5'6"

Layla -

Age: Early twenties

Height: 5'3"-5'5"

Lisa -

Age: Early-to-mid thirties given the lore and speculation concerning her character stories

Height: 5'7"-5'9"

Mika -

Age: Early teens

Height: 5'0"-5'3"

Mona -

Age: Late teens to early twenties

Height: 5'3"

Nahida -

Age: Presented as a young child, actually 500+ years old

Height: 3'9"-4'0"

Nilou -

Age: Late teens to early twenties as I will choose to believe that the article's age is a typo

Height: 5'0"-5'2"

Ningguang -

Age: Late thirties to approaching forty given the chronology and lore, definitively older than Beidou

Height: 5'7"

Noelle -

Age: Early-to-mid teens

Height: 5'3"-5'4"

Qiqi -

Age: Presented as a young child, actually 1000+ years old given lore and chronology

Height: 3'6"-3'10"

Raiden Shogun (Ei) -

Age: Present as being in her mid-to-late twenties, actually 500+ years old

Height: 5'10"

Razor -

Age: Early-to-mid teens

Height: 5'7"

Rosaria -

Age: Mid-to-late twenties

Height: 5'9"

Sangonomiya Kokomi -

Age: Mid-to-late twenties, though some speculation might lend to her actual years being much more than that (100+)

Height: 5'1"-5'2"

Sayu -

Age: Preteen to early teens

Height: 4'5"-4'6"

Shenhe -

Age: Mid-twenties

Height: 5'11"-6'1"

Shikanoin Heizou -

Age: Early-to-mid twenties, at least one year older than Kazuha

Height: 5'7"-5'8"

Sucrose -

Age: Early twenties, at least a year younger than what Albedo is presented as

Height: 5'3"-5'5"

Tartaglia -

Age: Definitively in his early twenties

Height: 6'0"-6'3"

Thoma -

Age: Mid-twenties, one year younger than Ayato

Height: 5'10"-6'0"

Tighnari -

Age: Early-to-mid twenties, around the same age as Cyno

Height: 5'6" without the ears

Traveler -

Age: Presented as in their early twenties, actually incomprehensibly older than that

Height: 5'5" (Lumine) 5'6" (Aether)

Venti -

Age: Presented as in his late teens to early twenties, actually 2600+ years old

Height: 5'4"

Wanderer -

Age: Presented as in his early twenties, actually 500+ years old given the lore

Height: 5'5"

Xiangling -

Age: Mid-teens, at least two years younger than Chongyun

Height: 5'3"

Xiao -

Age: Presented as in his early twenties, actually 3000+ years old

Height: 5'1"

Xingqiu -

Age: Late teens, a few months older than Chongyun

Height: 5'6"

Xinyan -

Age: Mid-to-late teens, a few months younger than Yun Jin

Height: 5'7"

Yanfei -

Age: Late teens to early twenties

Height: 5'4"

Yaoyao -

Age: Younger child, at least six months older than Qiqi given the context of Qiqi's lore

Height: 3'8"-3'11"

Yae Miko -

Age: Presented as in her late twenties to mid-thirties, actually 500+ years old

Height: 5'9"

Yelan -

Age: Late twenties to early thirties

Height: 5'8"

Yoimiya -

Age: Late teens to early twenties

Height: 5'5"

Yun Jin -

Age: Mid-to-late teens, a few months older than Xinyan

Height: 4'9"-4'11"

Zhongli -

Age: Presents himself as in his late thirties to his mid-forties, possibly older than Teyvat as a landmass (6000+)

Height: 5'10"-6'0"

Final Thoughts -

If I missed a playable character (as of 3.8) somehow, I'll correct it when I get around to it. As characters from Fontaine come out, I'll consider doing this for them as well, but as of right now, this list is complete. The reason I compare certain characters to each other in terms of age is due to the closeness that they have in canon as well as the Genshin manga. Anything speculative is stated and should be treated as such.

Until then or whenever I'll see you when I see you.

[oxygenbefore1775]

Ok so what's my interpretation of this line aside from the obvious one that Zeke is an evil-evil narcissistic self-absorbed piece of shit who cares for nothing but to spurn Levi ofc (im being facetious)

disclaimer: this is pretty cut-and-dry as the most of Zeke's motivation was lifted from the manga panels i.e. not speculated on by the likes of me

Just to be clear, Zeke doesn't say this out of the blue or just cuz he's in an insulting mood — it's a direct response to Levi's words preceding this, not a throwaway comment made to pull wool over Levi's eyes

Going back to the beginning of the ch 110, this whole interaction starts with Zeke retelling the events of the Ragako village to Levi — something that he's done a couple of times already — only to be accused of remorselessness by Levi later

It's only then that Zeke replies with:

In general, Zeke doesn't really care what people think of him or his motivations with Eren being the exception. He never tries to convince anyone of his euthanasia plan justness (hell, he doesn't reveal it to the majority of people *because* he knows they'll never understand and thus be approving of it). As seen in the panels from ch 113 below, Zeke believes that no one aside from Eren and himself is capable of understanding that's why he doesn't bother making them understand

(and it's not like Zeke says these words to be edgy or something — he's monologuing so there's no reason for him to lie or exaggerate when there's no one for him to hear that, this monologue is exclusively for the reader to take in)

Levi's opinion is of no value to Zeke. If it was, then Zeke would have made an attempt of justifying his position like he did with Eren. But he never did in the span of his entire involuntary stay in the forest. A month-long opportunity and never once did Zeke deign to use it to tell Levi about the events in his past that led him to the creation of the euthanasia plan. Because Zeke doesn't see it as necessary.

Levi tries to figure out Zeke, though. I suppose this is why Levi asks Zeke about Ragako a couple of times already, it's not the first instance that he hears this account from Zeke. Time and time again, all to come to the same conclusion — that is, that Zeke is not riddled with any guilt whatsoever. And as much as Levi is justified in his attempt to understand the motives of a person whose worldview goes against every value that Levi holds dear when it comes to human life — but his judgement is based solely on the previous interactions he's had with Zeke + Zeke's account of the Ragako village attack. And suffice to say all their previous interactions weren't really conducive to creating a fruitful conversation between them since the majority of times they met was in a battle.

(trying so hard not to sound like a Zeke apologist but—) Zeke does care about human lives in his own twisted way. As someone who's so fucked up in the head to think that death is the ultimate mercy, he truly believes he makes those he killed a great favor by ridding them of their painful existence.

All of this Levi could've learned but never does — all of his conclusions about Zeke are drawn from his very limited experience of interacting with Zeke (atp they had only 2-3 brief conversations which mainly consists of them trading taunts). Not that he is obliged to — Levi has enough reasons to judge Zeke for his actions yet he assumes Zeke's intentions and judges them too.

As per this post, the Japanese version intended Zeke's line about women to be a comment on Levi's social skills, how his ill-based notion about someone's motivations is making him out to sound unlikable. Hence it's followed by 'Don't act you understood someone else's thoughts'. Because in Zeke's mind, Levi never understood Zeke's thoughts/intentions.

Zeke thinks that no one is capable of understanding him or his intentions. That's why he doesn't appreciate Levi attempting to do it (and erroneously so) and shuts him down.

[redstrewn]

The 7 august 2023 redstrewn perception of Leander

Before you read:

Nothing in here is new. It's all things I've already rambled about and theories others have already shared. I'm just dumping all my thoughts in one place.

I'm crass so there's gonna be sexual jokes in there

Disclaimer 1: This perception is based on many theories by other people. I don't claim to be the original speculator for these ideas.

Disclaimer 2: Plz don't yell at me for my insane delusions of Leander. You dont have to agree and I don't expect you to.

Onto my perception of Leander.

In my opinion,

His hogging of MC is due to the following:

Primarily, their power.

He has plans for it I think. The hands could have connections to fogfall (Vere, paraphrased from memory: "You're like me: not quite human, not quite monster." Vere emerged from fogfall. The soulless that attacked MC seemed more interested/distracted by their hands).

Leander could be interested in fogfall serving him—increasing his ability with magic, which is a distortion of/messing with reality. He's got motifs of what's often considered the territory of god(s) that mortals aren't to meddle with, lest they suffer terrible consequences. (Heaven, underworld, life cycle/resurrection, immortality/eternity, crossing planes/boundaries, dislike of the unknown.)

Along with his apparent egotism from his uquiz result, his erased fatal flaw, repeated use of the word "hero," and "Mages lust for power. It's always their downfall," I think it's not unreasonable to assume he intends to meddle with exactly the things mortals are told not to mess with. He's described as a rebellious mage after all (I think. Going from memory here).

Leander is taken aback by MC's power, noting its contrast from other curses he's dealt with. Considering it can completely overtake another's mind and, in my opinion, also affected Leander before he got ahold of himself (his expression dropping and seeming to reach for MC's throat), it seems to be highly powerful and thus...something exactly a mage would lust for.

Secondarily, their vulnerability.

People have many differing opinions on Leander: whether he's a yandere, if he treats MC like special or if he's just like that to everyone, if he's actually an asshole or just naïve, etc. But there's one thing that's pretty much indisputable and canon: he's got a mad savior complex. He and his Hounds act as Lowtown's helpers and his attitude to Vere in his relationship chart spells this out clearly.

Enter MC. Completely hopelessly clueless on even the most basic customs of Eridia. Desperate and broke and with nobody to turn to. To top it all off, he can give them something no one else can: normal touch that they're starving for.

If that isn't the ultimate wet dream of a guy with a mad savior complex, I don't know what is. Pretty sure he would've cum on the spot after MC responded "yes" to his question, "Am I the first person you've touched like this?" if he didn't care about weirding out MC LMFAO.

Thirdly, his egotism

Truthfully, this is related to his savior complex—it derives from egotism.

He loves attention and dislikes being ignored canonically. To MC, he is special to a metaphorically and literally magical extent: because only he can continuously, over a possibly infinite future, offer them something they've never had in their entire life.

Won't an egotistical guy get excited over that?

MC is special to him because he knows he is special to MC. He knows his magic can't cure them. But he can offer a taste of it the way no one else can.

Fourthly...loneliness?

"Despite his popularity, he isn't close to anyone." Like the saying goes, being alone in a crowd (Bloodhounds in his case) is the loneliest feeling of all.

So why isn't he close to anyone?

It's on purpose

Eridia's currency is information. Baring oneself (metaphorically at least) to anyone poses more risk in this city than elsewhere. He's a leader. Leaders need followers. Followers need someone to believe in. For people to believe in someone, they must have good reputation. Baring his flaws poses risk to that.

Nobody want him lol

I think it would be funny if he's popular and has a good enough reputation that people respect and adore him...but know that they're better off not getting with him lol. Vere looked into his soul and fucking hates what he saw. I don't have enough evidence for this take. Just that it would be fucking hilarious.

Was he chasing after the other LIs because he's lonely?

He seems to be the type to chase anyone down (or at least anyone that may be able to offer him something) whether that's just to gather information talk over drinks/dinner or recruit them into his Bloodhounds.

So, okay, yeah maybe it's not just that he's lonely but he also gets to gather more information by picking people's brains. And also he gets to add onto his growing gang that does his bidding. And also he could convince and influence others to do things he wants (like he does with MC! "Noooo haha MC stick with me the rest can't help youuu").

He could be both lonely and networking like the business major that he is 🤷‍♀️

What's his fatal flaw?

"Mages lust for power. It's always their downfall."

🎵 Love's gonna get you killed. But pride's gonna be the death of you, and you and me 🎵 — "PRIDE." by Kendrick Lamar

God complex! Savior complex! Egotism! The deadliest of the seven deadly sins! The sin of Satan himself that caused him to be cast out of heaven! The cause of Icarus's great fall! The damnation of Faustus! Give it up for HUBRIS everybody!

It's all about arrogantly believing you can handle or know better about greater powers you're told no one should or can.

Gosh, how embarassing this would be if people knew your fatal flaw was considered the worst of all flaws...and about being the biggest failure too. If I was an egotistical guy worried about my reputation, I'd scratch out my fatal flaw too.

Does he care about MC at the time of demo?

He cares about them a lot! Because of their power, his savior complex, and his egotism! The loneliness probably helps. He's special to them so they're special to him!

So he likes them?

Sure! He loves how much their power can do for him and how much they feed his ego!

Wait what? Is he just using them?

😬🤭 Don't worry, he's lonely. He'll probably end up actually caring enough to honestly think about what's actually best for MC and not just his selfish intentions...eventually...at some point...maybe?

But he's jealous! He likes them then, yes?

I mean...I wouldn't want to lose a source of great power and ego boost to anyone else as an egotistical mage, personally. Especially not my rival that I'm actively trying to kill.

This perception of Leander is too dramatically horrible. He can't be as uncaring as you think.

I think he likes to think he cares! He probably likes thinking of himself a hero who does no wrong and only does what's best. Even if the means might be a little unconventional or reprehensible to some people.

But I also think he's highly fucking delusional about it all. Probably why people get deranged/insane vibes from him.

I think his head is so far up his own ass he can't fucking see he's clearly being more selfish than he might like to think. He's so convinced he knows better, runs away from his cushy home, runs away from enrolling into the elite institution to do his own thing and make his own group to run his own set of people. He says something like, "I'm just as good as the Senobium. Better, even."

That's some audacious shit! That sounds like a man who doesn't know his own shortcomings. And he is according to his uquiz and the fucken slashing of his fatal flaw. HUUUUUUUBRIIIIIIIIS. He's delusional about himself: his feelings, intentions, knowing what's best, whatever.

I want to fucking swing a bat against his thick skull, honestly. He'd make a great piñata.

End note

Honestly thought this post would be longer but I don't know what else to ponder about this rascal.

[frrrfrrrfrrr]

The Host Lyrics Frerard Analysis

Disclaimer - This post is entirely speculation. I could, in fact, be dead wrong, and I give Frank permission to bully me on Twitter if he ever finds this. But in all seriousness, no one except the guys truly knows what goes on behind closed doors. This is just an interpretation that has been in my brain-worm-filled head for a long time. Some friends also added their insights and interpretations to this. A big thanks to them!

In this post, I am going to use a Frerard lens to analyze the lyrics from The Host, a song off of Frank’s solo album Barriers.

Before I begin, please be aware that this theory falls under the assumption that *something* happened between Gerard and Frank in the past, whether it was just mutual attraction or maybe much more. As many in the fandom believe, I too think that Frank was heartbroken by whatever the hell happened between them - he has a lot of regrets and/or still longs for Gerard in some capacity.

This analysis also falls under the assumption that Frank and his wife Jamia had/have some kind of open relationship and that Frank may be polymorphous. I am not in any way trying to diminish the love Frank has for Jamia. He feels an insanely strong connection and deep love for that woman. She is a wonderful person - a saint - for supporting Frank throughout the years, and he adores the kids he had with her. However, I still think Frank has an insatiable love for Gerard that he just can’t escape.

Let’s dive deep into the scenario my brain created based on the lyrics of The Host. First, the title of the song: I imagine “the host” to be Gerard at his LA home. At the first Newark show (2022), Gerard said he had not been to NJ for a long time, so I doubt Frank could have been the “host” in the lyrics. Recent intel has revealed that the band reunited in 2017, so I think the song could be referring to one of Frank’s visits to Gerard, most likely during one of the MCR BBQs in LA or perhaps one of their jam sessions. 

I interpret this song from Frank’s perspective as he’s talking to Gerard, “the host.” As a basic summary, I more or less feel that Gerard and Frank fell back into flirty habits during Frank’s visits. Nothing serious probably, just their usual affectionate touches and other subtle intimacies. It most likely happened when the others weren’t around - even if it was just Gerard and Frank in the kitchen for five minutes getting a cup of coffee. During these moments, Frank wonders what it would be like to live in a house with Gerard and have a domestic relationship with him if things had turned out differently.

Let’s go line by line:

“I can't stand the fun we're having

Drifting off and rambling on

With high roads full of mass contusions”

^ This introduces the idea that Frank and Gerard are just hanging out (the fun we’re having), catching up on things (rambling on) and so on. They’re having a lot of fun together, but Frank still remembers all of the hurt that happened between them (roads full of mass contusions).

My crippling fears, and your designer jeans

^ “Crippling fears” is most likely referring to Frank’s anxiety. He has mentioned many times in interviews that he has thoughts and anxiety eating away at him constantly. Even though they are having fun at that moment, Frank is still feeling some kind of anxiety about his relationship with Gerard, past or present.

The “designer jeans” reference is very blatant in my opinion. During the breakup years, Gerard began wearing some designer clothing brands like Greg Lauren. So, this is a clever way to call him out without being *too* obvious about it. 

“You're choking on all your good decisions”

^ I believe this is about Gerard’s marriage to Lynz. It has come to light that she is not a very nice person and has done really shitty things. The “good decision” (stated sarcastically) is Gerard’s rushed marriage to that woman and how maybe his perfect dream life isn’t turning out the way he planned. Therefore, he’s “choking.”

“While I'm basking in what I settled for” 

^ This is Frank referring to his current life/situation. Again, I’m not saying he settled for Jamia, more so that he “settled” for a life without Gerard as a lover/partner. He loves his wife and family but can’t get over his pining for Gerard.

“(I never wanted to want much more)” 

^  This is implying how badly he wanted that kind of life with Gerard.

“Unmade bed and blanket statements ”

^ THIS FUCKING LYRIC. It is my favorite from this song, and it also kills me. The “unmade bed” line signifies all that is left unresolved, unsettled, and unsaid between them - aka their past. Things are still kinda messy, not tidy, and neither of them have fully moved on from it. Also, read more literally, their romantic long-term relationship was/is a “bed” that was “unmade,” i.e. never fully realized. 

The next part “blanket statement” not only adds to the image of a bedroom, sleepovers, or playing house, it implies a lot. It could mean things spoken & whispered under those blankets, on that forever unmade bed of theirs; those promises, hopes, fears, and desires. It’s literally both the big “blanket statement” covering all things (MCR is not reuniting; we are only just brothers in rock) AND the small intimate things (I think about us all the time… what if we HAD worked out?).

Another interpretation is that Frank was always open and upfront with telling Gerard exactly how he was feeling in very specific terms, saying “I love you” etc. But Gerard always tried to avoid having to make those kinds of direct statements by using a blanket statement. For example, if Frank ever tried to confront Gerard and make him admit his feelings, Gerard would reply with something vague such as "You know how I feel about you."

“You're playing house like we're home alone”

^ I interrupted this as Gerard doing domestic things with Frank (cooking, cleaning etc) and showing him affection/interest as if they really lived together. The phrase “like we're home alone” implies others are around (family, band mates, etc.), but Frank and Gerard are still in their own little bubble. 

Alternatively, it could be referring to Gerard and Lynz. If their life isn’t so perfect and they are unhappy together, they could be “playing house” by themselves. Maybe they don’t do domestic activities together - for example, maybe they don’t sit down together for dinner and instead eat separately.

“On and on, so far gone

On and on, I'm so far gone”

^ This part can have multiple meanings in my opinion. “So far gone” could be referring to Frank still being in love with Gerard - it’s not something he can escape. On the other hand, it could be referring to the distance between them mentally and physically. Gerard also seems to put a wall around himself when it comes to Frank. He also lives in LA which is thousands of miles away from NJ where Frank lives.

The chorus repeats - skipping it for now

“What have I waited for?

I'm running out of time

I'm running out of time”

^ I’m not entirely sure about this part, but I think it could be Frank debating with himself about making a move on Gerard or telling him how he still feels. Like, a small part of him still believes he can make things right with Gerard.

“I'd give up everything all for a glimpse”

^ I think this is kind of self explanatory at this point.

Other parts of the song repeat like “So far gone” and the chorus

“I'm looking for a sign

I'm looking for a sign

I'm looking for a sign

I did it right”

This is Frank questioning his past choices and wondering if they were correct. However, I think Frank has already gotten his “sign” that he did it right - he loves his family more than anything and says he wouldn’t change anything. 

But there may be part of him that still mourns over what he and Gerard could have been.

And that’s my analysis! This song and this interpretation kills me, but I had to get it out my system and share my brain worms with others.