#disappear into the crowd type shit
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AUTISTIC TRIGUN IS SO REAL AND TRUE I WILL SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS !!!!!!!!!!!!
HORAAAYYY !!! I'm so glad I've been any kind of influence at all. This is too sweet :'D !!! ahhh !! <3<3
I do have some thoughts about the masking in particular tho..🤔
I see it less as Knives actively accepting his autistic traits, and more as him not being able to control them. He desperately craves control over himself. He's even been shown as self-critical of his past outbursts, referring to it as a "sin". I thought this scene was very interesting, especially with how much Knives is projecting here. "Without self control" "unable to think of anything but themselves"
sounds like someone we know, girl. ✋🙄
100% agree that Vash was the favorite child tho. Lol. Vash and Knives had very different needs as children, and Rem was way more equipped to help Vash. I actually headcanon kid Vash as very shy and reserved, wanting to always follow the rules. While Knives was very loud, outgoing, and opinionated. Knives' meltdowns have always been explosive, I don't think he'd have much of an outlet outside of violence, and Rem definitely didn't have the experience to give him the tools that he needed. Rem really did love him, but that preferential treatment for sure caused him to feel very unloved and isolated. He hates feeling like a burden, (Vash is similar in that way) he's afraid he's going to be chewed up and spit back out if he's not useful enough. "Do you think i'll be eaten some day?"
He grew to resent Vash for his ability to control himself. To mask and be "normal." For being easier to love. He is SO jealous of Vash it's not even funny. He's losing the idgaf war so badly. This is why he keeps trying to make Vash lash out at him (like in July). It's a petty attempt to get him to understand Knives' suffering first hand. He self victimizes so bad y'all. When he sends the Gung ho guns after Vash, he seems to have no worry of his safety at all. Likely cause he sees Vash as such a perfect angel golden child, any pain actually inflicted is because Vash let it happen. He has the utmost faith in Vashes ability to fight, and is very quick to blame Vash for getting hurt in the fights that HE caused. He probably doesn't think Vash struggles in life at all. That's why he's compelled to make him suffer. (Not that any of these thoughts are very conscious, just deeply rooted insecurities he picked up from childhood. Lol.) Knives feels so fundamentally broken, unlovable, and alienated that he's essentially made it his entire personality. His superiority complex is just as much of a mask as Vashes smile. They do it to protect themselves.
Also. The Vash internalized ableism point is SOOOO true and correct☝️. Vash is completely numb. He's dissociative, and doesn't even remember half of his own life or likely his childhood. He continues to mask because it's all he knows. The only coping mechanism he's used his whole life, it's comforting now. He doesn't really know who he is outside of that mask and he definitely doesn't want to find out. He's terrified of losing control and hurting someone. He's scared of ending up like Knives. To go back to the childhood headcanons for a sec, I think in a way, they were both neglected. Because of how much more attention Knives needed to mitigate his meltdowns, Vashes needs were essentially ignored. He learned at an early age that his problems were not as important. He learned to completely depend on himself and value others as inherently above him. He loved Rem, the last thing he wanted was for her to be any more overworked. So he did whatever she said, never complained, and everyone assumed he was fine. He doesn't need help like Knives does. Knives can't take care of himself like Vash can. He felt solely responsible for Knives when Rem was gone, and crushingly guilty for (rightfully) leaving him, "don't leave Knives on his own." He does view Knives as a burden, and that makes him feel even guiltier. But this would also make Vash feel pretty entitled, I'm suffering too. But I don't bitch about it. What's his excuse?
There's a lot of disabilities that could be read into with Knives specifically, I even project my own experiences with physical disability onto him !! Knives is weaker than Vash is, both in plant powers and probably in general tbh. Knives is definitely the one getting noogied in the sibling fights. (Also why he chopped his arm off...even the playing field a bit lmfao.) Theres no way Knives had any clue Vash was going to blast an entire city and half of his body with it. If Knives was capable of leveling entire cities, he would've done it by now. All the displays of his power are more of a flashy "don't get close I'm dangerous I'll get ya" message than anything world ending. He's just not strong enough. He uses his big brain a lot more for that stuff, like taking all the plants away so the humans starve lol. I headcanon Knives as pretty sickly in general, what with his fainting spells and what not. I feel like Knives' insecurities are his absolute biggest motivator.
Knives has always deeply craved acceptance. But he's convinced himself that he'll never get it. So he lashes out instead, letting his emotions consume him, because that's all he knows how to do.
Trigun is a very autism media to me. The twins themselves are full of amazing metaphors for autism!!
The plants wings are a physical metaphor for autism! To me Rem’s and other humans fear of seeing Vash’s overtly autistic traits is shown in their reactions to his wings. We see Knives isn’t afraid of showing off his plant powers ever. The twins have a very cool dichotomy about masking. I see Vash was favored because he masked, while Knives never cared to.
When Vash and Knives see Tesla Rem goes to comfort Vash first. This seems to be slightly on favoritism, but also because she’s shocked that Vash is having a large emotional reaction. I think the fandom sees Vash as hyper-emotinal and Knives as hypo-emotional, but to me it’s switched.
Knives does not hide his emotions. And absolutely does not hide his outbursts! He has meltdowns all the time and is not ashamed of his autistic traits. He doesn’t care about being unsettling or being accepted by humans/neurotypical society. (Even more interesting to consider that all of the Gung-Ho Guns are disabled/neurodiverse in some way). Knives allows his emotions to control him, where Vash is guided by his obligations. He does what he wants, based on his wants. And what he wants is to be with the only other autistic person he knows-his brother. He also desperately wants his brother to be free from his internalized ableism and the pain of masking.
Vash on the otherhand spends all his time masking and denying his autistic traits so he can fit in with “normal“ humans. He also again, in contrast to Knives, acts based on how his mother told him to behave. He hates acting out/standing out. He still operates on Rem’s instructions to be “normal“ and unnoticeable. He does occasionally show strong emotions but they’re not his positive emotions. To be these are less examples of Vash being over emotional, but instead are examples of outbursts. The overflow of negative emotions reminds me of my meltdowns! As well most of the emotions we do see Vash show are also parts of his masking. They are deeply constructed displays of emotion. All set to Vash‘s derived sense of what’s normal. It’s what he thinks positive emotions look like. His mask is baked into everything he does. And only one person sees through it-Wolfwood!!
Wolfwood is also set apart by the narrative. He has been modified. In my view this is the story portraying that Wolfwood is also neurodivergent in some way. He is capable of seeing through Vash‘s mask, and from Vash‘s reaction is the first one to call him out on it. He also goes from being afraid of Vash‘s autistic traits-his wings-to supporting him. His last words are him encouraging Vash to express his emotions genuinely(to not worry about his “unsettling“ autism smile).
Trigun as a media deals to deeply with disability and autism(if someone remind me I’ll make another little essay thing about Meryl and Milly‘s autism). I hope this is coherent!!
Anyways! Happy Autism Month!!
#trigun#vash the stampede#millions knives#trigun maximum#thank you for the excuse to talk about this...😇 lalalaaa I love knives I love knives I love autistic knives lalaalaaa#lalalaaa imagine me with a big lolipop rolling around on a unicycle#I love talking about this so MUUCCHH#Vash pull yourself up by your bootstraps Stampede#my headcanons are a mix of both 98 and trimax btw :d#not even to mention how Rem literally taught Vash to hide himself from humans like aaaauhhh fucked up#disappear into the crowd type shit#this is so funn#also I gotta hear that milly and meryl analysis bro ....#other peoples based takes#my based takes
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LITTLE BLACK DRESS - LN4
halloween special
summary : loosely based on little black dress by 1D😊 happy halloween my horny bffs
listen up : kissing, yelling… him being horny. lando x fewtrell!reader
word count : 1655
⋆。‧˚⋆
She's always been beautiful. She’s the sort of pretty that when she walks into the room, everyone’s head turns toward her.
Today though… shit. She looks straight up sexy.
Max punches me in the arm, realizing I'm not paying attention to whatever he’s saying. But I can’t stop looking at her, long legs and a tiny black dress is all I can see.
As she gets closer, her hair bouncing with every step, I realize that it’s the type of hunger that will only be satisfied by my lips on hers.
There is one slight issue, though. “Sis!” Max grins, messing up her hair as she pushes him away, “Nice costume. You get it half off?”
⋆༺
you
“You're so turning into our dad!” I roll my eyes at Max as he laughs and whips his arm around me, pulling me into a forgiving half hug. He's the mad hatter, cute since I saw Pierta in her Alice costume a few minutes ago.
I scrunch my face up before looking up at Lando. God… Lando. His eyes are practically setting me on fire, looking up and down my body. He's a skeleton.
Looking ridiculous hot in all black, his costume is made by the makeup on his face. An illusion of bones with black and white.
“Hi, Lando. Happy Halloween” I say sweetly as he brings his cup to his painted lips.
“Lookin good, Y/n.” He gives me a slight smirk and I can feel Max’s annoyance before he starts complaining.
“Lando. No!” Max says as if he’s some sort of dog.
“I didn’t do anything!” He puts his hands up in defense before looking at me, “Want a drink?” I flash him a smile, fangs and all. He raises a brow at my favorite bit of my costume.
A vampire is not basic, It’s classic!
“She wants nothing from your grubby hands!” Max says immediately, his mad hatter hat tilting on his curls.
“Grubby!?” Lando scoffs as I laugh, but I see my friend in the crowd and squeal, leaving them both.
⋆༺
lando
How weird would it be if I said I want her to bite me? Fuck, it sounds weird doesn’t it? I don’t care. She’s been dancing with P for the past thirty minutes, downing at least two drinks and moving her ass in a way that should be illegal.
There’s fake blood on her chest and mouth. A mouth I'm desperate to kiss.
I’ve known her forever, and I would never admit it to Max… but I've always had a bit of a thing for her. How do you tell your protective best friend that you’re hot for his younger sister?
The answer is that you don’t.
But this feels different. We’re older, we’re both hotter, and I swear I saw her checking me out.
Max has disappeared and there’s a girl by my side in an instant. I take one look at her, get disappointed that she’s not Y/n, and leave.
I spot her at the bar.
I tug on her hair and she lets out a little scream before she turns and sees me. Her mouth contorts into a mischievous smirk, her nose scrunching. “Two vodka shots.” I nod at the bartender, standing close to her. “I like your costume.”
She looks bored, “Think I look hot?” When she turns to get my reaction I just tilt my head a bit, biting back a smile. She knows I do.
“Well I think yours is a bit underwhelming.” She sighs as I scoff.
“Hey- P spent an hour on this!” she giggles, “What would you rather me be?”
She thinks for a moment as the bartender slides us the shots, “Hmm… a driver?” Her body shifts towards me, holding up the vodka and smiling innocently.
“Very funny.” I take my own shot, tapping the table and downing it without breaking eye contact.
“You here alone?”
She leans against the bar, “Nope… my friends are here somewhere.” She breaks eye contact, surveying the packed crowd.
I lean in closer, “I mean did you come here with a guy?”
She narrows her eyes at me, “No.”
I can’t help but smile, teasing her is my favorite activity. “You open to leaving with one?”
She blinks, biting her bottom lip, “Lando…” I know i’m playing with fire but I don’t care.
“What?” I say innocently, “For safety reasons.”
She lets out a little laugh, “I’m not fucking you in the name of safety.” I frown.
“You’re losing your little flirty spark, Fewtrell.” I lean closer, my arm resting on the bar, “You grow up, finally?”
“I grew up.” She nods, “But I'll never lose my spark.” She looks offended, my eyes flick down to her body… her chest… her lips.
“Prove it.” Her hand goes to her hip.
“You gonna flirt with me all night or actually make a move?” Spark is still there. 1000% still there because the way she’s leaning into me makes me hard.
I glance at the people drinking and dancing, seeing Max instantly in his hideous hat. He's not looking at us, but I know he’s gotten a vibe tonight when I was staring at Y/n’s ass.
“You really want me to make a move in front of your brother?” I ask her and I can tell she’s torn.
Y/n has always been close to Max, but she was always known to be troublesome. I liked her more for it. She would sneak guys in when their parents were away and Max would always call me, purposefully being loud about how much he could bench to scare the guy away.
“Let’s dance.” My hand slips to her waist, tugging her closer. She gives me another suspicious look, “Come on… I wanna see the way you move for me.”
She rolls her eyes, “Take you and your one liners somewhere else.” She starts walking away, but I follow.
“Don’t act like you don’t love it.” I take her hand finally, tugging her into the crowd and pulling her close to me.
“Don’t act like you don’t get off on it.” I bite the inside of my cheek as her hand moves to my neck and into my hair.
“You’re so fucking hot.” I should probably think twice about telling this to my best friend's sister, but why lie?
She throws her head back, laughing. She shakes her head and keeps dancing. The neon lights swirl around us as people push and scream over the music. I can practically feel the djs mix in my body.
Y/n’s hand goes to the back of my head again, standing on her toes to yell in my ear. “I don’t want to smudge your makeup.” I think I'm about to faint.
I shake my head, making her look at me in the eye to make sure she’s serious. She’s staring up at me, a brow quirked as if she’s daring me.
My lips are on hers embarrassingly fast.
Gripping her waist, I slip my tongue in her mouth. The fake fangs scrape against me but I'm too focused on her so close to me to care.
⋆༺
you
I've spent an unhealthy amount of time wondering what it would be like to kiss Lando. Now I know that my younger self was completely wrong.
He’s possessive and rough, holding me close and sliding his hand up my body, to my neck. He tastes like makeup and alcohol, my hands holding his neck and tugging at his shirt.
It’s too loud for him to hear me say his name. He bites my lip and I let out an involuntary whine. He's smirking against me when I tug his shirt, pulling back.
I smile at him, catching my breath for a second just to make sure this is real. “I love this song.” It's ‘little black dress’ by one direction. The song that I played every day of my teenage years whenever Max and Lando were bugging me.
I laugh, leaning back as he rests his head on my shoulder, pressing a kiss to my skin. I turn his head to face me again, kissing him softly. “Maybe I'd be okay with going home to a guy.” I say in his ear.
“You better be talking about me.” His face is serious but I can’t help but laugh, slapping his arm before kissing him again.
“Of course it’s you, muppet.” I’m kissing him again. I get lost in a haze of smoke and music, melting into him as he breathes against me.
He’s kissing my neck now, moving his hand down past my back. Then he’s gone.
He’s off me in a second, “What. The. Fuck!?” It’s Max. “No! No! No!” He looks like he’s about to kill Lando.
“Hey…” I think Max it’s going to be okay until a smirk breaks out on Lando’s stupid face. “What if I told you I'm really drunk?”
Max’s fists clench, “Lando-” He turns to me, looking pissed off, “I can’t even with you!”
I push my hair back, shrugging and wiping my mouth. I look at Lando who’s about to laugh, his mouth is smudged with blood, black paint, lipstick.
“My sister!?” He yells, getting the attention of few around us.
“I- Okay look! I didn’t. I mean! Yeah… She’s hot!” he goes through options, clearing giving up as he looks at me. Max loses it then, “Yup!” Lando turns and fucking bolts.
Max is screaming and i’m laughing, it’s almost too comedic. The crowd basically parts as Lando hurries past, my brother chasing after his best friend.
When they’re about to be out of view, Lando turns, “Yo, Vamp!” He calls out, running backwards with a scared and mischievous expression on his face. He brings a hand to his head, mimicking a phone before breaking out into a grin, “Call me!”
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris fluff
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"License and Registration?"
Shit.
Seven clowns packed into the seats of an old beat up van. As if luck turned a blind eye to their favor, the crowded space was messing its final member. Stress levels at an all time high through the group, the two clowns capable of descalating the situation they've found themselves in had the fortune of sitting up front that evening.
"Is there a problem, Officer? You must forgive us if our driver here went a tinsy bit over the speed limit. We lost track of someone dear to us and its getting rather late, you see-"
As the driver of the vehicle stares the police officer down, observant of the officer's intriguing in a small, retingular device in hand - a voice chases their ear from the backseat.
"Red- We're wasting too much time here. Mime could be seriously hurt for all we know. There's no other cars around so they're probably on foot and alone. Use Pink's gun if you have to."
Orange swiftly ducks behind Red's chair as a sharp snap rings throughout the quiet night. The officer picks at their lip, jaws in perpetual motion as they chew; absent-mindedly scrapping bits of gum off the corner of their mouth. From the bill of their cap draped over their face, it almost appeared as if they were scratching at nothing.
"Officer. How is your evening going so far?"
Beads of sweat line the officer's neck as they shift, angling their body away from its previous placement against the side of the van. Trembling fingers press at the device gripped tightly in their palms.
"License and Registration?"
There's something odd about their tone of phrase. Spoken in the exact same pattern and robotic droning as before.
"Wait a fucking second...."
Rolling the windows down, a hand snatches the officer's cap before they're given the chance to flee. Startled, the officer drops their device as they take a few steps back - shoes letting out a small squeak with every fall. What upon first speculation seemed to be a walkie-talkie turns out to be a tape recorder.
"Mimey?!"
Your chest rises and falls rapidly with silent laughter as the remainder of the group peek outside the windows to get a look.
"Mimey, what the fuck?! Blue nearly had a heart attack when you disappeared- Get your ass in this van right now!"
Muffled whimpers join the symphony of a fist banging against the windows.
"I'm so glad you're okayyyy."
"That's Mimey?...Arrest me first, officer~"
"Naughty little mime.... This type of behavior calls for punishment. I gotta say you do look... delicious in that outfit..."
Yellow is the last to speak as few of the gazes from the windows turn predatory.
"Twenty second head start sound good to you, Mimey?'
Stealing your cap back from Orange, you bow to your partners in crime - barreling off into the darkness as all four doors unlock simultaneously.
#Murder Clown gang#yandere clown#Mime reader#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere oc#yandere insert#yandere blurb#yandere drabble#yandere harem#poly yandere
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thinking about Ghost as a recently freed gladiator
(18+ for some explicit content at the end, also this is just some thoughts so may develop into something with more substance l8r lol)
Gladiator Ghost earns his freedom and sticks around Rome since he sure as shit doesn't want to go home, and wants to help train Soap and Gaz so they survive the Colosseum (like Price did with him).
But he's having trouble adjusting to freedom. Hell, he wears a toned-down version of his helmet in public. It keeps people at arm's length, but the stares follow him everywhere he goes. Better his stupid mask than his scarred face...
But now, he's stuck at a stall staring at two different types of olive oils that the vendor swears are popular choices (The oil that was given to the gladiators to clean themselves was some cheap, generic, crap, and he sure as shit doesn't know what they bought).
Suddenly, you crop up next to him, telling him not to buy that, and you whisk him to an upscale taberna and buy him a fancy little amphorae of olive oil as a celebratory gift for winning his freedom. "If you're hoping for anonymity, my dear Ghost, your fortune may improve if you leave your helm in the arena."
He barely had time to process before you disappeared into the crowd, leaving him with nothing but an I'll see you around the Colosseum.
But Ghost can't stop thinking of you.
Most Romans cowered before him. He's a massive brute who they've watched sow carnage and violence for years, he can hardly blame them. Watching a beast in a cage is amusing. Sharing a bathhouse with that same beast is something else.
You had been so soft and pretty, draped in expensive silk. You had been a brave little thing, walking right up to a known killer, but he had followed you like a dog.
He wants to sink his teeth into you.
He lets the oil you bought him run down his abs and drip onto his cock, stroking himself harshly. The oil feels luxurious on his skin, and a pleasant aroma wafts towards him. This was a quality product, must be why you liked it...
He's rough with himself, rougher than you would be. And his hands are calloused and tough. He imagines your head leaned against his thigh, one soft hand stroking his cock and the other fondling his balls.
He cums embarrassingly hard, letting his groans reverberate around his tiny apartment. The insulae was loud enough, his neighbors wouldn't care.
He dozes on his shitty bed, rubbing the mixture of oil and cum into his skin. It's gross, but he's been covered in worse. And he feels his cock twitch when his thoughts stray towards you again.
He'll nap, jack off again, and just clean up after.
Ghost hopes you meant it, that he'd see you at the Colosseum.
He's got every intention of fucking you if you'll let him. He'll gladly be your hound. He drifts off to thoughts of you riding him, your hand around his throat.
#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#cod x reader#cod smut#ghost smut#simon riley smut#gladiator ghost
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Ok but imagine fratbro chris with shy!reader
"well, uh, aren't you quiet... like a — like a fuckin' mouse or some shit," chris scoffs with a slight shake of his head, his index and middle finger rubbing the bridge of his nose that scrunches up, sniffing — little white granules tickling the insides.
your teeth bite down nervously on your plush bottom lip, standing in the corner of the living-room, eyes flitting around in search of your friend who had disappeared a moment ago to search for her earring that she had lost the night before during a frat party.
you didn't go, of course.
stuff like this wasn't your scene — the drugs, the booze, the loudness, the crowds. you preferred the quiet night life, sitting at home in your room, watching your favourite shows with a pint of ice-cream, or doing something that you enjoy.
but you offered to drive your friend to the fraternity house when she had blown up your phone this morning, begging and pleading for you to give her a ride when she realised that one of her earrings were missing and that she was desperate to find it — although you're beginning to think she came here for a different reason too when she giggled at the sight of a frat brother, his arm winding around her shoulder as he lead her up the stairs to 'find the missing earring'.
"you jus' gonna stand there the entire time or what, kid?" chris' voice breaks you out of your head, and you blink at him, parting your mouth to speak but closing it once the front door swings open, revealing more frat brothers who come tumbling in, sweaty and gross.
you clutch your jacket tighter to your frame, ducking your head low and keeping your eyes glued to the floor as they walk closer, conversing about something you try to zone out when you hear their crass words — but that doesn't last when you see their shoes stop in front of you in your peripheral vision, and one of the boys addresses you.
"what are you doin' in here?"
you speak up, tone quiet, soft. "waiting for a friend.."
"a friend?" he echoes, a smirk slithering on his lips. "well, while you're waitin' for your friend, why don't you—"
"leave her alone," chris interrupts, and your head snaps towards his direction. he's now rolling a few joints on the coffee table, putting the premades to one side. his eyes flit up to you for a brief moment before darting to the empty space beside him on the sofa, and then back to you. "sit down."
you swallow thickly, your feet carrying you towards his direction and you hear the frat brothers mumble something under their breath before disappearing elsewhere. you sit down softly on the sofa, sinking into the cushiony surface with your hands in your lap, nervously twisting the rings on your fingers as you watch him.
"you're, uh, you're too quiet 'n it kinda freaks me out, if i'm bein' honest," he suddenly admits, licking his lips before lathering his tongue across the paper with one clean stripe. "you look outta place in here — noticeable as shit."
you're a little taken aback by how blunt and honest he is — also a little embarrassed because was it that obvious? you being so out of place in a fraternity house? it also didn't feel great that he said that you freaked him out... that was a stab in the chest.
"you're also kinda cute, though," chris reveals and your head immediately raises at that, the praise making you feel a little warm in the face. "got this uh, this mouse or bunny vibe goin' for ya, y'know? some type of cute, small animal — i don't know."
staring at him, you notice how his pupils are dilated and you assume that his rambling is from him being so amped up from whatever drug is coursing through his system, and your gaze darts down to the table, watching his expert fingers roll.
"you ever take a toke before?" he asks you as he holds out the joint and you shake your head, eliciting a hum from him, "good, good — don't let this shit ruin your pretty lil' head, alright? keep yourself all pure n' innocent up here."
he taps two fingers to your temples and you can't help but nod, glancing at him through wispy lashes and he grins, tonguing at his cheek as his head tilts to the side, watching you.
"yeah... i think you're gonna be my favourite, bun."
© STURNIOZ
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could you write more angst for rafe? I'm craving to be sad, maybe bc he promised he wouldn't do coke anymore and he was doing well but one day he lies to her and goes to a party to sniff some and then she finds out and maybe she's pregnant but he doesn't know yet 😁
a/n: thank you so much for sending a request!💗
you sit on the edge of the bed, fingers lightly tracing your stomach, the softest swell of new life beneath your skin. rafe’s words echo in your mind, the promises he made when you told him you couldn’t do this if he didn’t change. “i won’t touch it again,” he swore, those bright blue eyes locked on yours, so full of hope and fear and desperation.
and for a while, he’d stuck to it. he’d been good. you believed him.
but tonight, something felt off. the texts had come slower than usual, his answers short, distracted. he was out with topper and kelce, just for a drink, he said. you wanted to trust him—god, you wanted to believe that this time was different.
yet, the gnawing in your stomach hadn’t eased up since he left, a sense of dread you couldn’t shake no matter how hard you tried to tell yourself it was nothing. just anxiety. just your mind playing tricks.
until your phone buzzes, a single message lighting up the screen. it’s topper.
you might wanna come get your boy.
your heart sinks. you stare at the screen, dread pooling in your gut. you can feel the blood drain from your face, your fingers shaking as you type back a response.
where is he?
the seconds stretch into an eternity as you wait for the reply, the silence in your room deafening. when it finally pings, the answer is simple.
party at kelce’s.
you stare at the message, the words burning into your brain. you don’t even need to ask to know what rafe is doing there. kelce’s parties are notorious for one thing—coke. it’s everywhere, flowing as freely as the alcohol.
and rafe…he promised you. he promised he’d never touch that shit again.
you stand up, legs shaking as you grab your keys off the dresser, the weight of your growing secret pressing against your ribs. you haven’t told him yet. you hadn’t even planned to tell him tonight. but now, every instinct screams at you to get to him, to stop him before he ruins everything.
the drive to kelce’s house feels endless, the night blurring outside the window as your mind races with thoughts of what you’ll find when you get there. rafe had done so well these last few months. he had tried—really tried—and you were so proud of him for it. but addiction doesn’t just disappear, no matter how much you both wanted it to.
your hands tighten around the steering wheel as you pull up to the house. the bass of the music pulses through the air, shaking the ground beneath your feet as you step out of the car. the usual crowd is scattered around the yard, red solo cups in hand, laughter and shouting cutting through the night. but your eyes aren’t on them. you’re only focused on finding him.
as you push your way through the crowd, the smell of alcohol and smoke thick in the air, your heart pounds in your chest, a sickening rhythm that echoes the dread building inside you. you glance around, scanning the faces, searching for that familiar blond head.
and then, you see him.
he’s leaning against the bar, back turned to you, and your breath catches in your throat. even from a distance, you can see it—the slight twitch in his movements, the telltale signs that you know all too well. he’s on edge, more animated than usual, and you know. you don’t even need to get closer to know what he’s done.
he’s broken his promise.
you feel a wave of nausea crash over you as you step forward, heart hammering in your chest. every step feels heavy, like you’re walking through water, slow and inevitable. when you reach him, you grab his arm, pulling him around to face you.
“rafe,” you say, your voice trembling, and he looks at you, startled.
his pupils are blown wide, the usual spark in his blue eyes dimmed, replaced by something darker, something you’ve seen before but prayed you’d never have to see again.
he opens his mouth to say something, but the words don’t come. instead, he stumbles over his thoughts, his hand going to his nose instinctively, wiping at it.
“what are you doing here?” he slurs, blinking at you in confusion. “i thought you were—”
“you promised me,” you cut him off, your voice sharp, louder than you intended. “you said you wouldn’t do this again, rafe.”
he flinches at the accusation, his face falling as he stares at you. “i wasn’t—i didn’t mean to. it was just…just a little. i’m fine.”
you feel the tears burning at the corners of your eyes, anger and hurt bubbling up inside you. “you lied to me.”
he tries to reach for you, but you step back, your body trembling with rage. “don’t. don’t touch me.”
rafe’s face crumples, and for a second, you almost feel sorry for him. almost. but then you remember why you’re here. you remember the promise he made, the way he swore up and down that he would change, for you, for your future.
and now, that future feels like it’s slipping through your fingers.
“i’m sorry,” he says, his voice cracking, but you don’t want to hear it. you don’t want to hear his apologies, not when he’s high, not when he’s like this.
“sorry’s not enough, rafe,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “it’s not enough this time.”
he looks at you, desperation in his eyes, and you can see the fear creeping in—the fear of losing you, of losing everything. but it’s too late for that now. the damage is done.
“i’m done,” you say, the words feeling foreign in your mouth, like they don’t belong there. “i can’t keep doing this.”
rafe’s eyes widen, and he shakes his head, panic flashing across his face. “no, no, please. don’t say that. you don’t mean that.”
“i do.” your voice is barely above a whisper, but the weight of the words hangs in the air between you. “i can’t keep lying to myself, pretending this is okay.”
“please,” he begs, stepping closer, his hands shaking. “please, baby, don’t do this. i’ll stop. i’ll get better. i’ll be better. just don’t leave me.”
you swallow, tears blurring your vision as you look at him, this broken boy in front of you, so lost in his own demons that he can’t see how much he’s hurting you. “i don’t know if i can believe you anymore.”
rafe’s face crumples, and for the first time, you see the tears welling up in his eyes, the cracks in his armor finally breaking open. but it doesn’t change anything. it doesn’t fix what he’s done.
“please,” he whispers again, his voice trembling. “i love you.”
your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you almost believe him. but then you remember the ache in your chest, the fear that’s been gnawing at you since the moment you found out you were pregnant. you remember all the nights you spent worrying, wondering if this was the right decision, if you could trust him to be the father your child needed.
and now, standing here, looking at him, you have your answer.
you can’t.
the drive home is a blur, tears streaming down your face as you try to keep it together. you don’t even remember how you made it back, your mind consumed with the weight of what just happened. the house feels empty when you walk inside, the silence suffocating as you collapse onto the couch, sobs wracking your body.
you’re pregnant. you’re carrying his child, and he doesn’t even know.
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#rafe obx#rafe cameron#rafe imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe x reader#rafe x you#rafe outer banks#rafe fic#rafe#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron blurb#૮꒰ྀིo̴̶̷̤⩊o̴̶̷̤꒱ྀིა lamy req.。 ♡
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could you do a pregnant reader x rafe
a/n: okay but that got my brain buzzing, so i simply had to get all the thoughts out in the form of headcannons (written right before i fell asleep, sorry if it shows)
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
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okay, so picture this: he's the asshole frat boy, you're the cute college chick who unlike him is actually there for the education.
also, he's your ex...
you were only together for a few months, but still, that shit was intense, the relationship nearly broke you from all of the high highs and low lows
it was exhausting being in love with an asshole, hence why you're no longer together
he was totally the type of toxic boyfriend to only wanna fuck you without a condom, either by pressuring you or just straight up lying and then rolling the rubber right off either as soon as he got you into doggystyle or like halfway through when you were too cockdrunk to notice the difference.
so that might have been why a month or so after the two of you broke up, you were late...
i'm picturing that you finally took a test at the most chaotic moment: at the beginning of a party in a bathroom, your roommate doing a quick run to a pharmacy while drunk folks try to barge down the door.
when your roomie comes back, you're totally freaking out, full-on melt-down, while she sits on the counter beside the sink and tries to calm you down, thinking up other solutions to your symptoms.
but the damn stick shows you two lines.
you were pregnant.
"so are you gonna tell him?" your roomie asks you, but you're still on a completely different planet, trying to comprehend the result.
"huh?"
"rafe. are you gonna tell him? i mean, i assume that it's him, unless there's somebody else, in which, how dare you not spill."
"what? no, there's no one else. of course it's rafe's..."
"...so? are you gonna tell him?"
but you have no idea if you want to or even should. you don't even have the slightest idea what you might wanna do about it all, if you should keep the baby or not.
but timing really is a funny funny thing, because when you then decide to go home to process everything (because damn, now you can't stay at the party and celebrate the close call), you bump into none other then the man, the myth, the whore himself: rafe fucking cameron.
now, you're straight up crying at this point, just overwhelmed as fuck, so of course he doesn't let you just slip by without figuring out what in the fuck is going on, if there is some douchebag he needs to go beat up.
"there only douchebag you need to beat up is yourself," you spit out before you can stop the phrase.
"oh, come on, baby. you can't still be mad at me? it's been like a month."
"please, rafe... just let me go home..."
"no, not until you tell me what's wrong!"
and when you actually say it out loud, it's like the awful party music fades and the buzzing crowd around you disappears.
"i'm pregnant."
at first, he just stands there stunned, staring straight through you.
if he's holding a glass, then he definitely drops and smashes it on the ground.
but then he grabs your arm and wordlessly drags you with him, all the way up to his room.
that's when, in the dull quiet of his dark dorm room, that it really sinks in.
for a while he just stares at you, letting his eyes scan down your frame, surely imagining what you'd look like in a few months.
and then, out of the blue, he whispers, "marry me..."
"...what?"
"marry me," he utters with more confidence, "i know this isn't exactly how it should go, but babe... i still love you. i never stopped... let me take care of you, let me take care of our baby, let me give you the life we deserve. so what do you say? will you marry me?"
but you just stare back at him as if he's gone mad.
"...no."
your stomach starts to flip as you then see the first signs of rage flare up on his features, "what do you mean no?"
"rafe, i'm supposed to be finishing up my degree, being young and dumb, not getting knocked up by the last man i'd ever want to be forever stuck with."
of course he then totally pops off, pushes you into a corner, yelling, screaming, all the nine yards
saying all this stuff about how you should be grateful that he ever gave you his time of day in the first place, nevertheless get you pregnant with his kid.
sooo, me thinks the next steps in their story gets pretty dark, pretty fast....
we talking him taking you with him home to tannyhill because school is simply too stressful for you and the baby (in his opinion)
mayhaps he straight up locks you in a room and acts all nice, pretends that nothing is wrong with the way he handles it all
forced marriage? yes? no? yes.
him getting fucking FERAL when you start to show?
also him getting feral long before that, taking the chance to make sure you're really, totally, 100% pregnant, if you know what i mean (in other words: all of the creampies ever, just over and over again, fucking load after load deep inside of you + so so much cumplay)
and the ending? i imagine that one day, after your kid is born, you run away, baby in your arms and not much else.
you try and create a quiet little life for you and your child somewhere far away
but eventually (of course, just for the sake of ✨drama✨) he finds you...
© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble
#lea’s writing#dark!rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x female reader#drew starkey smut#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron brainrot#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#rafe cameron x kook!reader#dark!rafe cameron x reader#pregnant!reader#rafe cameron headcanons#dark fic
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after the storm —
pairing : bully!ni-ki x student!reader (no pronouns used)
summary : you run into the infamous bully, nishimura riki and eventually get partnered with him as well.
warnings : fluff, enemies-to-lovers, angst if you squint hard enough, featuring boynextdoor’s myung jaehyun, aespa’s karina, jay, jake, and heeseung.
a/n : first ‘long’ fic. i hope you guys enjoy it !! i love enemies to lovers so much :] (my gift to you guys during finals season)
queueing : after the storm - kali uchis, tyler the creator, bootsy collins
— wc : 5.4k — not proof read —
you don’t mean for it to happen. really, you don’t. but monday mornings are the worst, and the crowded hallways of your school aren’t much better. your arms are weighed down with textbooks, and you’re running late to class because karina begged you to grab coffee with her before school.
the chaos of the hallway hits you like a wave as you round the corner—students yelling, slamming lockers, rushing to class. you’re too focused on navigating the crowd to notice the tall figure directly in your path until it’s too late.
your shoulder collides with someone’s arm, and there’s a sudden, sharp gasp followed by the unmistakable sound of liquid spilling. you freeze, looking down to see a large coffee stain spreading across pristine white sneakers.
"you’ve got to be kidding me," comes the irritated voice, sharp and cutting. you look up to find yourself face-to-face with nishimura riki—or ni-ki, as everyone calls him.
he’s infamous. the type of guy who can get away with murder just by flashing his signature smirk. tall, broad-shouldered, and perpetually annoying, ni-ki has a reputation for making people’s lives just a little harder than they need to be.
"what, no apology?" he snaps, glaring down at you. it felt like it was piercing a hole into you with how intimidating it felt.
"sorry," you mutter, trying to sidestep him, but he moves to block your way.
"sorry doesn’t clean my shoes," he says, lifting one foot to inspect the damage. his tone is sharp, but there’s something about the way his lips quirk up that makes it clear he’s enjoying this.
but you’re not in the mood to deal with his shit right now, "maybe if you weren’t standing in the middle of the hallway like you own the place, this wouldn’t have happened," you snap back, your irritation getting the better of you.
his smirk widens, and he tilts his head, clearly amused. "oh, so you do have a spine. didn’t think you’d bite back."
the comment makes your blood boil, but you force yourself to stay calm. "are you done? i’m late for class."
he steps aside with a mock bow, sweeping his arm dramatically. "by all means, don’t let me stop you. but maybe try walking without causing a disaster next time." he says, the last few words more teasing than the others
you glare at him, giving him a side-eye and refusing to let him get the last word. "maybe next time, you can stop being a walking inconvenience."
you don’t wait for his response, pushing past him and disappearing into the crowd. even as you walk away, you can feel his eyes on you, that smug smirk of his practically burned into your memory.
later that morning, you’re venting to jaehyun and karina at lunch.
"he’s such an ass," you complain, stabbing your fork into your salad. "he acted like i spilled coffee on him on purpose."
karina raises an eyebrow, sipping her iced tea. "ni-ki? yeah, he’s like that. he likes messing with people, especially if they react."
"and you definitely reacted," jaehyun adds with a laugh. "i mean, come on, you basically called him a walking inconvenience."
"because he is," you argue. "i swear, i don’t know how anyone puts up with him."
karina shrugs. "jake, jay, and heeseung seem to like him well enough. maybe he’s different around his friends."
you roll your eyes. "or maybe they’re just as bad as he is."
jaehyun chuckles, but karina gives you a knowing look. "just be careful. he’s the type to hold grudges, and i’ve seen him turn teasing into a full-blown hobby."
"great," you mutter, already regretting your choice to snap at him.
—
it’s the next day, and you’ve successfully avoided ni-ki all morning. you’re starting to think you’ve dodged a bullet… until english class rolls around.
you’re barely settled in your seat when the teacher announces a new group project. the groans from your classmates echo through the room as she begins listing the pairs.
"let’s see... y/n, you’ll be with nishimura riki."
you freeze, your eyes widening in disbelief. you whip your head around just in time to see ni-ki’s face light up with a smug grin.
“you’ve got to be fucking kidding with me,” you mutter quietly to yourself
"looks like we’re partners," he says, sliding into the seat next to you.
"this has to be a joke," you mutter under your breath.
"nope, pretty sure it’s fate," he says, leaning back in his chair. "guess you’ll have to get used to me."
you shoot him a glare. "you’re insufferable."
"and you’re stuck with me," he says, unbothered.
later that afternoon, you’re sitting in the library, waiting for ni-ki to show up for your first project meeting. you’re determined to keep things professional—finish the project and avoid him as much as possible.
but of course, he shows up fifteen minutes late, strolling in like he owns the place.
"you’re late," you say, not bothering to hide your annoyance.
"fashionably late," he corrects, dropping into the seat across from you. "besides, you’re so eager. it’s kind of cute."
you ignore the comment, pulling out your notes. "let’s just get this over with."
he raises an eyebrow, leaning forward. "wow, you’re really fun to work with, huh?" he says sarcastically.
"if you actually helped instead of wasting time, maybe i would be," you snap.
he laughs, shaking his head. "relax. i’ll help. what do you need me to do?"
you narrow your eyes at him, suspicious of his sudden cooperation. but you hand him a set of notes anyway, deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt… for now.
as you work, you can’t help but notice the occasional glances he throws your way, the way his smirk softens when he thinks you’re not looking. it’s almost enough to make you question your first impression of him.
keyword: almost.
—
you tell yourself you can survive this project. a few study sessions, a presentation, and then you’ll never have to deal with nishimura riki again. but as the days pass, you realize it’s not going to be that simple.
the second study session doesn’t start off any better than the first. you’re sitting at the same library table, waiting for ni-ki, who, predictably, is late again. you’ve just started debating whether or not to text him when he finally strolls in, looking completely unbothered.
"you really need to work on your time management," you say as he drops into the chair across from you.
"and you need to work on your patience," he fires back, flashing that infuriating grin.
you groan, pulling out the project materials. "can we just get this done? the sooner we finish, the sooner i can stop seeing your face."
he pretends to clutch his chest. "ouch. and here i thought we were bonding."
"bonding?" you repeat, raising an eyebrow. "you’ve done nothing but annoy me since day one."
"exactly," he says, leaning back in his chair. "it’s called building rapport."
you roll your eyes, choosing to ignore him and focus on the task at hand.
despite the rocky start, you manage to get some work done. to your surprise, ni-ki actually contributes… when he’s not cracking jokes or making sarcastic comments, anyway.
"so, about this section," he says, gesturing to the notes in front of you. "do you think we should focus more on the analysis or the context?"
you blink, caught off guard by the seriousness in his tone. for a moment, he actually seems... focused.
"uh, the analysis, probably," you say, regaining your composure. "it ties everything together better."
he nods, scribbling something down in his notebook.
you study him for a moment, curious despite yourself. "you actually care about this?"
he looks up, smirking. "what, surprised i have a brain?"
"a little," you admit, earning a laugh from him.
"guess i’ll just have to keep impressing you," he says, and while his tone is teasing, there’s something in his expression that feels almost genuine.
the cracks in his facade start showing during the third study session. it’s late, and the library is quiet except for the soft rustling of papers and the occasional sigh from ni-ki.
"you’re awfully quiet," you say, glancing at him. "what’s wrong? run out of sarcastic comments?"
he snorts, but his usual grin doesn’t reach his eyes. "just tired, i guess."
you hesitate, not used to this version of him. "long day?"
he shrugs, tapping his pen against the table. "something like that."
the mood shifts, and for a brief moment, you see past the cocky exterior. the ni-ki who’s not always so sure of himself, who might actually have a soft side buried somewhere deep.
but just as quickly as it appeared, it’s gone. he flashes you a smirk and says, "don’t worry, though. i’m still smarter than you."
"and just like that, you ruined it," you say, rolling your eyes.
he laughs, the tension broken, but the moment lingers in the back of your mind.
—
the night before the project is due, you and ni-ki are sitting in the living room of your dorm, putting the final touches on your presentation. your friends are busy, leaving just the two of you to finish everything.
"we actually make a decent team," ni-ki says, leaning back on the couch.
you glance at him, surprised. "that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me."
"don’t get used to it," he says with a grin, but there’s a softness to his tone that makes you pause.
"why do you do that?" you ask suddenly, the question slipping out before you can stop yourself.
"do what?"
"act like... this," you say, gesturing vaguely. "like you don’t care about anything."
he blinks, clearly caught off guard. "what makes you think i don’t care?"
"because you never take anything seriously," you say. "you’re always joking or teasing people, like it’s all just a game to you."
he’s quiet for a moment, his usual smirk replaced by something more thoughtful. "maybe it’s easier that way," he says finally.
"easier than what?"
he shrugs, avoiding your gaze. "easier than letting people see the parts of you they can use against you."
his words hit you harder than you expect. you’d never considered that there might be a reason behind his behavior. that his teasing and sarcasm might be a shield instead of just his personality.
"that sounds lonely," you say softly.
he looks at you then, his eyes meeting yours in a way that feels too intense, too vulnerable. "maybe it is."
the silence stretches between you, heavy with unspoken words. for the first time, you see ni-ki not as the cocky, infuriating guy who spilled coffee on his shoes, but as someone who’s more complex than he lets on.
"you don’t have to do that with me," you say quietly, the words surprising even yourself.
he stares at you for a moment, his expression unreadable. then he smiles. small and genuine, without a hint of sarcasm. "thanks," he says, and you can tell he means it.
the next day, the two of you present your project in class. it goes off without a hitch, and for once, ni-ki actually seems serious and focused.
"we did pretty good," he says afterward as you’re packing up your things.
"we did," you agree, and for the first time, you smile at him without any sarcasm or annoyance.
he grins back, but there’s something different in the way he looks at you now—something warmer, softer.
"guess i’ll see you around," he says, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
"yeah," you say, watching as he walks away.
you’re not sure what’s changed between you, but you know one thing for certain: this is only the beginning.
—
the weekend has finally arrived, and after a long week of school, you’re more than ready for some peace and quiet. your dorm room is a sanctuary of calm, with soft lighting, cozy blankets, and a pile of books waiting to be read. jaehyun and karina are out with their own plans, leaving you alone to unwind.
you’ve just made yourself a cup of tea and are settling in with a book when you hear a soft knock on your door.
"coming!" you call, setting your tea down and pushing yourself up from the couch. you open the door, expecting to find one of your friends—or maybe a neighbor—but instead, you’re met with a familiar face.
ni-ki stands in the doorway, looking far too pleased with himself.
"ni-ki?" you say, blinking in surprise. "what are you doing here?"
"well, i was just walking by," he says casually, although you can tell by the way his eyes sparkle that he has an ulterior motive. "and i thought, hey, maybe i could hang out."
you stare at him for a moment, unsure whether to laugh or roll your eyes. "how did you even know where i live?"
"oh, that was easy," he says, grinning. "i just asked karina for your address."
you can’t help but stare at him. "you bribed karina for my address?"
"not bribed," he says, feigning innocence. "i just asked really nicely."
"she gave it to you?" you ask, incredulous.
"yeah," he shrugs. "she said it was no big deal. something about ‘you two are friends now,’ i don’t know."
you lean against the doorframe, still processing. she probably just decided to give it to annoy you, "and you thought i’d just let you in?"
"well, yeah," he says, flashing you that signature cocky smile. "why not? i’m charming."
"you’re insufferable," you mutter, but you step aside anyway, gesturing for him to come in.
"thanks," he says, stepping into your room and looking around as if he owns the place. "this is nice. much cozier than i expected."
you can’t help but chuckle. "yeah, well, i like it simple."
"simple, huh?" he says, raising an eyebrow. "i thought you’d have some crazy expensive decor or something."
"i’m not exactly the ‘luxury’ type," you reply dryly.
"good to know," he says, sitting on your couch without asking. "so, what are we doing today?"
you blink, caught off guard by the question. "what do you mean ‘what are we doing’? i was planning on having a relaxing day. just me, my book, and my tea."
"boring," he says, groaning as he flops back into the cushions. "you need to live a little."
"i’m living just fine," you reply, rolling your eyes. "now get off my couch."
"come on, just for a little while," he says, grinning up at you. "let me hang out. i swear i’ll be quiet."
you stare at him, considering for a moment. "you’re not exactly known for being quiet."
he shrugs, looking unbothered. "fine, i’ll be your idea of ‘peaceful.’"
you sigh, sitting back down on the other side of the couch. despite yourself, you can’t help but feel a little amused. ni-ki’s presence is annoying, sure, but there’s something oddly comfortable about it too.
—
it’s around late afternoon when you start to hear the telltale sound of your phone buzzing on the coffee table. you reach over and glance at the screen, seeing a text from jaehyun.
jaehyun: "hey, you up for dinner tonight? karina and i were thinking of grabbing some food."
you frown, glancing over at ni-ki. "i already had plans with jaehyun and karina," you explain. "we were going to grab dinner."
ni-ki raises an eyebrow, his usual grin appears. "let me go with you"
you stare at ni-ki in disbelief. he stands there with that cocky grin of his, arms crossed, as if he’s just asked the most casual thing in the world.
"invite you to dinner with jaehyun and karina?" you repeat slowly, as though you can’t quite process what he’s saying.
"yeah, why not?" he shrugs nonchalantly, a playful glint in his eyes. "i’m not doing anything anyway, and it’d be more fun with me there."
you raise an eyebrow, considering the idea. "you want to crash our dinner plans? you’re really bold, you know that?"
"hey, it’s not crashing if you invite me," he says with a smirk, stepping closer. "besides, i’m fun. i’ll make it interesting."
you glance at your phone, seeing jaehyun’s text still sitting there. ‘are you coming or what?’
you look back at ni-ki. "i don’t know..."
"come on," he insists, giving you a look that makes you feel like you’re being peer-pressured in the most annoying but strangely convincing way possible. "it’ll be fun. jaehyun and karina will love me."
you frown. "do you even know how to act in front of my friends? they don’t exactly have the best impressions of you” you admit.
"how hard can it be?" he grins. "besides, it’s jaehyun and karina. they’ll get me. and if they don’t, i’ll just charm them."
you’re about to protest, but then you realize he’s not going to back down. and, for whatever reason, the thought of spending time with ni-ki, jaehyun, and karina all together suddenly seems oddly appealing.
you sigh, giving in. "fine, but don’t make it weird."
ni-ki beams. "deal. i’m going to be the perfect guest."
when you arrive at the restaurant with ni-ki in tow, jaehyun and karina are already waiting by the entrance. the look on jaehyun’s face when he spots you, and then ni-ki, could only be described as a mix of surprise and mild confusion.
"uh, what’s going on here?" jaehyun asks, blinking rapidly as he looks between you and ni-ki.
"what, you didn’t think i could bring my new ‘friend’ along?" you ask, feigning innocence. "he’s harmless."
"new friend?" karina raises an eyebrow. "that’s ni-ki, right?"
"yep, that’s the one," you say, nudging ni-ki with your elbow. "don’t let the attitude fool you, he’s alright."
ni-ki smirks and waves at them nonchalantly. "hey, guys. don’t mind me. just here to steal your food."
"you’re going to steal our food?" jaehyun asks, laughing as he steps forward to greet you both. "i should’ve known. ni-ki’s always up to something."
"i’m really not," ni-ki says, shrugging casually. "but i might steal your fries if you’re not careful."
karina eyes him with mild amusement. "alright, let’s just sit down before you scare us off."
the four of you sit down, with ni-ki taking the seat next to you, of course. jaehyun and karina sit across from you both, watching the dynamic between you and ni-ki with growing curiosity.
"so," karina starts after a few moments of awkward silence, "what exactly made you invite ni-ki to dinner?"
you glance at ni-ki, who looks entirely too pleased with himself. "he insisted," you say dryly. "he wouldn’t let up about it."
jaehyun chuckles. "that sounds about right. ni-ki can be pretty persistent."
"persistent, huh?" ni-ki smirks, clearly enjoying the attention. "i like to think of it as… persuasive."
"persuasive?" karina repeats, raising an eyebrow. "are we talking about the same ni-ki here? the one who bullies everyone he meets?"
ni-ki looks over at her and grins. "bullying? me? i prefer to call it ‘challenging.’"
you can’t help but laugh at his confident response. "yeah, he definitely challenges everyone. whether they want to or not."
jaehyun laughs. "i think we’re going to get along just fine tonight."
as the dinner progresses, it’s clear that the initial tension has dissipated. ni-ki’s usual teasing doesn’t feel as sharp when he’s around jaehyun and karina. he’s surprisingly… well, charming, in his own way. he cracks jokes, makes sarcastic remarks, and even joins in on the conversation when karina and jaehyun talk about their plans for the upcoming break.
you find yourself watching him more than you intend to, surprised by how easily he fits into the dynamic. there’s no tension between him and your friends, just a playful back-and-forth that somehow feels natural.
"so," jaehyun says, after a long stretch of conversation, "ni-ki, what’s your deal? you don’t really seem like the type to hang out with this lot." he gestures toward you and karina, giving you both a teasing smile.
"hey," you protest, "we’re cool."
"oh, i know," ni-ki says, grinning at jaehyun. "i just like to make things interesting. gotta keep them on their toes."
karina laughs. "that much is obvious. i’m surprised you didn’t try to make everyone do push-ups or something."
"who says i didn’t?" ni-ki winks, clearly enjoying himself.
you roll your eyes. "i’m going to regret this, aren’t i?"
"probably," karina says with a knowing grin. "but i have to admit, i wasn’t expecting him to be so… entertaining."
the rest of the dinner passes by in a blur of laughter, playful banter, and way too much food. by the time the check arrives, you’re not sure whether you’ve just had a fun night with your friends, or a chaotic, slightly ridiculous one.
as you step outside the restaurant with jaehyun, karina, and ni-ki, you feel an unexpected sense of contentment. ni-ki might have started as your enemy, but somewhere along the way, he’s shifted into something else. and now, with him standing next to you, joking around with your friends, you’re not so sure what to make of it all.
"thanks for inviting me," ni-ki says, glancing at you as you all walk to the parking lot. "i had a good time."
you glance over at him and shrug. "you weren’t as unbearable as usual."
he grins, a genuine, soft smile tugging at his lips. "i’ll take that as a compliment."
"you should," you say with a smile of your own. "because it’s the nicest thing i’ll say to you all week."
he chuckles, the sound warm and easy. "fair enough. i’ll take what i can get."
as you make your way home, you can’t help but think that this unexpected dinner with ni-ki might be one of the most fun nights you’ve had in a while.
—
you’re sprawled out on karina’s bed, watching as she types furiously on her laptop. jaehyun is sitting cross-legged on the floor, flipping through his notes from last week’s lecture, though he’s clearly not paying attention. it’s one of those easy afternoons where nothing seems particularly urgent, except for the thoughts swirling in your head.
you’d been trying to ignore them all day, hoping they’d go away on their own. but every time you close your eyes or let your mind wander, ni-ki’s face pops up, that stupid grin of his haunting your thoughts.
"alright," jaehyun says, breaking the silence. "spill."
"spill what?" you ask, trying to sound casual.
"whatever’s going on with you," he says, gesturing vaguely at you. "you’ve been weirdly quiet today. it’s creeping me out."
karina glances up from her laptop, narrowing her eyes. "yeah, now that he mentions it… you’ve been off. something on your mind?"
you groan, sitting up and burying your face in your hands. "why do you guys have to be so observant?"
"because we’re your friends," karina says simply, closing her laptop. "now, out with it. what’s going on?"
you hesitate, chewing on your lip as you try to figure out how to phrase it. "it’s… it’s about ni-ki."
jaehyun lets out a low whistle. "oh, this should be good."
karina leans forward, her expression instantly intrigued. "what about him? did he do something?"
"no," you say quickly, shaking your head. "he didn’t do anything. it’s just… he’s been hanging around a lot lately, and… i don’t know."
"you don’t know?" jaehyun repeats, raising an eyebrow. "that’s not very convincing."
you groan again, flopping back onto the bed. "okay, fine. i think… i think i might have feelings for him."
karina gasps, clapping her hands together like she’s just uncovered the juiciest piece of gossip ever. "i knew it!"
"you knew nothing," you mutter, covering your face with a pillow.
"are you kidding me?" she says, yanking the pillow away. "it was so obvious! the way you look at him, the way he teases you… i’ve been waiting for this moment."
jaehyun nods, smirking. "yeah, i kind of saw it coming too. you two have this weird energy whenever you’re together."
"weird energy?" you repeat, sitting up. "what does that even mean?"
"it means," jaehyun says, "that you two act like you’re in a rom-com. all the banter, the teasing, the lingering looks. it’s textbook ‘we’re pretending to hate each other but actually we’re into each other’ vibes."
karina nods enthusiastically. "exactly! and ni-ki? oh, he’s so into you."
"he’s not into me," you say quickly, shaking your head.
"he absolutely is," karina insists. "the way he looks at you? please. he’s head over heels, even if he’s too proud to admit it."
you frown, playing with the hem of your sleeve. "i don’t know… what if you’re wrong? what if he’s just messing around, and i’m reading too much into it?"
"we’re not wrong," jaehyun says confidently. "trust us. if ni-ki didn’t like you, he wouldn’t be spending all his free time with you."
"he literally shows up at your dorm uninvited," karina adds. "that’s not just friendly behavior. that’s ‘i like you and don’t know how to say it’ behavior."
you let their words sink in, your heart racing as you try to make sense of your feelings. maybe they’re right. maybe ni-ki’s teasing and constant presence mean something more.
but the thought of confronting those feelings, of admitting them to yourself, let alone to ni-ki, feels terrifying.
"what if i just… ignore it?" you suggest weakly.
karina groans. "you’re impossible. just talk to him, okay? or better yet, wait for him to confess. he’s bound to crack eventually."
jaehyun smirks. "and when he does, we’re going to say ‘we told you so.’"
you roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.
—
it’s a typical afternoon after school, and you’re sitting on the low wall near the campus courtyard, scrolling through your phone as you wait for karina and jaehyun to finish up their club activities. the sun hangs lazily in the sky, and most students have already scattered to their dorms or headed home. the courtyard is unusually quiet, except for the faint rustle of leaves and the occasional distant laugh.
you’re about to text karina and ask how long she’ll be when you hear footsteps approaching. without even looking up, you know who it is.
"what are you still doing here?" ni-ki’s familiar voice cuts through the silence, his tone casual, almost bored.
you glance up to see him standing a few feet away, his bag slung over one shoulder and his hands stuffed into his pockets. his hair’s a little messy, probably from running his fingers through it all day, and there’s that usual smirk on his face, the one that makes you want to roll your eyes.
"waiting for karina and jaehyun," you reply, tucking your phone into your pocket. "what about you? i thought you left already."
he shrugs, stepping closer and dropping his bag onto the ground next to you. "thought i’d stick around and see what you were up to."
"oh, how generous of you," you say dryly, swinging your legs idly as you look at him. "and here i was thinking you had better things to do."
"believe it or not," he says, plopping down on the wall beside you, "you’re pretty entertaining."
you snort. "wow. i’m honored."
he grins, leaning back on his hands as he looks up at the sky. for a moment, neither of you says anything, the comfortable silence settling between you. it’s strange how natural it feels to be around ni-ki now, how his teasing doesn’t grate on you the way it used to.
"you’ve been hanging out with me a lot lately," you say, breaking the silence. "what’s up with that?"
"what, you don’t enjoy my company?" he quips, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.
"not what i said," you reply, giving him a look. "i’m just curious."
he shrugs again, a nonchalant gesture that seems almost rehearsed. "maybe i just like spending time with you."
your heart skips a beat at his words, but you brush it off, chalking it up to his usual teasing. "you’re terrible at answering questions, you know that?"
"i know," he says, smirking. "but you still put up with me, so i must be doing something right."
you roll your eyes, but a small smile tugs at your lips. before you can retort, ni-ki speaks again, his voice softer this time.
"it’s because i like you."
the words slip out so casually, so easily, that it takes a second for you to register them. when you do, you freeze, your brain scrambling to process what he just said.
"what?" you ask, turning to look at him.
he blinks, like he didn’t even realize he said it out loud, and for the first time, you see a flicker of uncertainty in his expression. "uh…"
"did you just say you like me?" you press, your heart pounding.
he scratches the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at you. "maybe."
"maybe?" you repeat, staring at him in disbelief. "ni-ki, you just said you like me. like, like me like me."
he sighs, finally meeting your gaze. "okay, fine. yeah, i said it. i like you. happy now?"
you’re not sure how to respond. your mind is a whirlwind of emotions. shock, confusion, and, if you’re being honest with yourself, a little bit of excitement.
"you’re kidding," you say after a moment, your voice barely above a whisper.
"do i look like i’m kidding?" he says, raising an eyebrow. "look, i wasn’t planning to say anything, but it kind of just… slipped out. so there you go. now you know."
you stare at him, trying to gauge if he’s being serious. but the way he’s looking at you, half-defiant, half-nervous, makes it clear that he’s not joking.
"why didn’t you say anything before?" you ask, your voice softer now.
"because," he says, running a hand through his hair, "i didn’t want to make things weird. we have this… thing, you know? the teasing, the banter. i didn’t want to mess it up."
"but you like me," you say again, like you’re trying to make sense of the words.
"yeah," he says simply, leaning back on his hands again. "i do. and it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way. i just… figured you should know."
you’re quiet for a moment, your thoughts racing. you think about all the times ni-ki’s teased you, all the times he’s gone out of his way to spend time with you. maybe he’s been trying to tell you this all along, in his own roundabout way.
"you’re such an idiot," you finally say, shaking your head.
his eyes widen, and he sits up straight. "wait, what? why am i an idiot?"
"because," you say, a smile tugging at your lips, "you could’ve just told me instead of being all weird about it."
he frowns. "i wasn’t being weird."
"you’ve been weird," you insist, laughing softly.
"okay, fine," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "maybe i’ve been a little weird."
"just a little," you tease, your smile growing.
he looks at you then, his expression softer, more open than you’ve ever seen it. "so… what now?"
"well," you say, pretending to think, "i guess you’ll just have to deal with the fact that i like you too."
his eyes widen again, and for a moment, he looks genuinely surprised. "wait, you do?"
"yeah," you say, laughing at the look on his face. "what, did you think i was going to reject you?"
"maybe," he admits, his lips curving into a sheepish grin. "i mean, you’re kind of out of my league."
"don’t push it," you say, swatting at his arm.
he laughs, the sound light and carefree, and you can’t help but join in. for once, there’s no teasing, no pretense. just the two of you, being honest with each other.
in the distance, you hear a loud whistle, followed by familiar voices calling out.
"oh my god, did they just confess?"
you whip your head around to see jake, jay, and heeseung standing a few feet away, clearly having eavesdropped on the entire conversation.
"i told you it was going to happen today," jay says, nudging jake.
"this is better than a drama," jake adds, grinning from ear to ear.
ni-ki groans, burying his face in his hands. "can you guys not?"
"what? we’re just here to support you," heeseung says, giving him a thumbs-up.
you laugh, the sound bubbling out of you uncontrollably, and ni-ki glances at you, his own smile breaking through despite his embarrassment.
"i hate them," he mutters, but there’s no real malice in his voice.
"you love them," you say, nudging him playfully.
"yeah, yeah," he grumbles, but he’s still smiling.
and for the first time, everything feels exactly as it should be.
#kaiyunsim#kpop x reader#kpop x gn reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen niki#enhypen x reader#enhypen x gn reader#enha x reader#enha x gn reader#ni ki x reader#ni ki enhypen#ni ki#ni ki fluff#niki x reader#riki nishimura x reader#nishimura riki#nishimura riki x reader#niki x gn reader#nishimura riki x gn reader
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If you ever heard the song “Insecure” by Jazmine Sullivan, I was wondering if you could read a fic with rafe about that
it’s Like toxic!rafe and reader
INSECURE
PAIRING: bsf!toxic!rafe x kook!reader warnings: emotional manipulation; self-hatred; toxic!rafe.
If someone asked you how it started, you couldn’t even tell them.
It was Rafe Cameron you were talking about.
The guy was a walking red flag, all swagger, all ego, and too much money for his own good. He had the type of face that made you forgive him even when you didn’t want to. And trust, you'd tried to not want to. But that never worked out, obviously.
It’s not like you thought you could change him or whatever. You were not one of those girls. You just...thought you’d be different. Special. Maybe you got a little caught up in that fairy tale bullshit sometimes. Like, maybe if you were the one who held his attention long enough, maybe he’d stop messing around and actually be serious.
Actually see you.
Spoiler alert: That’s not how it worked
You learned that real quick with Rafe.
It wasn’t even two months in before you found some girl's scrunchie in his Jeep.
You were leaving the club, both tipsy, and you slid into the passenger seat when you spotted it in the back. You know how girls leave stuff behind like it’s a game? Like it’s their way of marking territory? That scrunchie was practically a neon sign that read, "I was here."
You picked it up, twirled it around your finger, and waited for him to notice.
He didn’t.
“What's this?” You finally asked, not even looking at him, just staring at that stupid pink scrunchie like it had all the answers you needed.
Rafe glanced over at it for half a second before shrugging, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel. “Dunno. Probably Sarah’s.”
Sarah Cameron, his sister, the golden girl of the family. His excuse every time something came up.
“It’s not Sarah’s.” You weren't buying it. You knew that girl’s style inside and out, and there’s no way in hell she’d be caught dead wearing something this basic. You tossed it into the backseat, feeling your blood boil.
Of course he’d still treat you like shit, why care about a lifelong friendship, right?
Rafe rolled his eyes. He didn’t even have the decency to act like he cared that you were pissed.
“You’re being dramatic,” he said, his voice dripping with that condescension that always made you feel stupid for caring. “It’s just a fucking scrunchie.”
But it wasn’t. Not to you.
See, the thing with Rafe is, he never said he was yours. You never had some grand conversation about exclusivity, about titles, none of that. But that’s how it was with him. He’d show up at your door, flash that killer smile, and you’d forget every reason why he wasn’t good for you.
And yet, there was this constant feeling in your chest.
Tight, twisted, like a knot you couldn’t untangle.
It wasn’t just the girls or the scrunchies or the way he’d disappear for days, leaving you with nothing but unanswered texts and half-assed explanations. It was you. How you felt around him. You were constantly second-guessing yourself, wondering if you were enough, if you were what he wanted. Things were so different before.
If you were even on his radar when you weren't right in front of him. And that feeling, that deep, gnawing insecurity? It was starting to mess with your head.
A week after the scrunchie incident, you found yourself at another one of those parties on Figure Eight. The kind where we Kooks pretend we're so much better than everyone else but still drink cheap beer out of red solo cups. It was the usual crowd—Topper, Kelce, a few other guys you barely knew, and, of course, Rafe.
You were wearing this black mini dress you knew he liked, the one that hugged your body in all the right places. You wanted to feel good tonight, like you could make him see you the way you needed him to. It was pathetic, but you thought if you played your cards right, maybe you'd get more than just half-hearted attention.
But then, halfway through the night, you saw her.
This girl—some random pogue you'd never seen before—leaning against the bar, laughing at something Rafe was saying. And it wasn’t just that he was talking to her. No, it was the way he was looking at her. That look he used to give you when you first started whatever this was between you two.
Like she was the most interesting thing in the room. Like she was the only thing. Even if she was wearing that cheap, threadbare tank top and worn-out jean shorts. The kind of clothes that screamed she probably worked at some surf shop or waited tables just to get by. And here Rafe was, cozying up to her like she was something special. Like she wasn’t just another girl he’d forget about tomorrow. Making yourself compare to someone like her.
You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry, your palms sweaty as you watched them. You could feel your heart sinking, your gut screaming at you to just leave. But you didn’t. You just stood there, like an idiot, frozen in place, watching him slide his hand up the back of her arm, a move so smooth, so practiced, it made you feel sick.
You hated this. Hated yourself. Hated that you let him have this kind of power over you.
Your mind did that annoying thing where it flashed back to the first time you slept with him. Like it wanted to torture you with every little detail of how you got here. You’d both been drunk, of course. But not blackout drunk—just the kind of buzzed where everything feels a little too easy, a little too warm.
You’d known Rafe forever, been best friends since you were kids. He was practically a part of you, or at least, he used to be. You trusted him, which is why when he showed up at your place that night, laughing about something stupid, you didn’t think twice when he crashed on your couch.
Only he didn’t stay on the couch.
You remember how he looked at you from across the room, that cocky smile he always wore, but softer somehow. Like he wasn’t quite sure if he was going to make a move. He’d leaned in, brushed his hand against your leg—casual, but not really. Your heart had pounded in your chest, but you didn’t stop him.
You didn’t want to stop him.
And when he kissed you? You were done for. All those years of being “just friends” went right out the window. It was like all the tension between you, all the unspoken stuff, just exploded. You were in his lap before you even realized what was happening, tugging at his shirt, pulling him closer.
You told yourself it didn’t mean anything—that it was just this one-time thing, a moment of weakness.
But Rafe… he knew how to get to you.
He made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered, even though you weren’t. You were just there, convenient. But at the time? You didn’t see it like that. You thought maybe this would change everything. That maybe the Rafe you’d grown up with was still in there somewhere, buried under all the coke, the girls, the chaos.
You were wrong.
It hurt. It hurt like hell. And the worst part was, you couldn’t even blame the girl. She probably had no idea who Rafe really was. She just saw the guy with the money, the smile, the charm.
Your throat tightened as he leaned in, saying something that made her laugh again. That same laugh he’d once pulled out of you. God, how could you be so stupid? You knew what he was. Hell, you’d known for years. But still, you’d let yourself get wrapped up in him, like maybe you’d be the exception. Like maybe you’d matter.
But you didn’t. You were just another girl he’d sweet-talk, mess with, and then forget about the second something new and shiny came along.
Topper came up beside you, nudging you with his shoulder. “You good?”
You blinked, tearing your eyes away from the scene in front of you and forcing a smile. “Yeah, totally. Just need another drink.” Your voice was light, casual, but inside, you were falling apart.
He gave you a weird look, but shrugged it off.
Guess everyone knew how you felt about Rafe. You weren't exactly subtle about it.
You downed another vodka soda, the burn doing nothing to numb the ache in your chest, and made a beeline for the back of the house.
You needed air. You needed to breathe.
You barely made it past the kitchen before you felt someone grab your wrist, pulling you into the hallway. You turned, expecting it to be some random guy, but no—it was Rafe. His grip was tight, a little too tight, and you could see the annoyance in his eyes.
“You’re leaving already?”
Rafe’s grip on your wrist was too tight, but it wasn’t like that surprised you anymore. It was always like this with him—one second, things were fine, and the next, you were stuck in this same stupid cycle of feeling small and stupid for caring.
“I just need some air,” you muttered, trying to pull away, but of course, he didn’t let go. His eyes flicked across your face like he was trying to figure out if you were actually upset or just being “dramatic,” which, spoiler alert, you weren’t.
“You’re not seriously mad about that girl, right?” His voice dripped with amusement, like your feelings were some kind of joke to him. He leaned in, lowering his voice like that was supposed to make you feel better. “It’s not that deep.”
It's hard to remember this used to be your best friend, before you two started whatever this game was and he decided you just weren't that girl to him anymore, just another body he could call up when he needed to get laid.
You stared at him, mouth dry, trying to figure out why you were even still standing here.
“Really?” You couldn’t help the sarcasm in your voice. “Because it kinda feels like it is.” You finally yanked your wrist free, stepping back just enough to get some space. “Do you even care? Like, do you even care that you’re making me feel like this?” You hated how your voice cracked, how vulnerable you sounded.
“We’ve just having fun,” Rafe just stared at you like you were overreacting. “I don’t get what the big deal is. Why are you always making this such a thing?”
Fun. God, that word made your stomach turn.
Fun for who? You knew what he meant, but hearing it out loud still stung. You’d been holding onto this hope, this ridiculous idea that maybe you were different, maybe he cared more. But it was so clear now. This wasn’t a relationship. This wasn’t even close.
“It’s a thing because it is a thing,” you said, voice shaky but steady enough. “I can’t just turn off my feelings like you do, Rafe. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when I see you flirting with other girls like I don’t exist.”
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “You’re making this complicated. I never said we were serious. You knew what this was from the start.”
And there it was.
The slap of reality you’d been avoiding for way too long. He never said you were his, never promised you anything more than what he gave—a few nights here and there, some attention when it was convenient for him, but nothing real.
And you knew that. But it didn’t stop you from wanting more.
“But you still keep me around, don’t you?” you said quietly, mostly talking to yourself at this point. “You keep me close when it’s easy, when it’s fun for you. And I let you.”
God, that hurt to admit out loud. You let him make you feel like this. Over and over.
Rafe just stood there, completely unfazed. Like this was no big deal. He shrugged, and it made you want to scream. “If you’re so unhappy, then just leave.”
You stared at him, feeling your heart twist in your chest. How did it always come back to this? Him pushing you away like you didn’t mean anything. Like you weren’t standing right here, hurting. You searched his face for something—anything—that showed he actually gave a damn.
But there was nothing.
“Yeah,” you whispered, throat tight. “Maybe I should.”
Rafe blinked, staring at you like you’d just told him the sky was green. The moment you said “maybe I should,” it was like the words didn’t even register with him. He let out this half-laugh, half-scoff, eyebrows raised. “Wait—what? You’re not actually serious right now.”
You just stood there, trying to hold onto the last shred of whatever self-respect you had left, but his reaction made you feel like you were the crazy one. Like you weren’t the one who’d been dragged through the emotional wringer for months.
“I’m serious,” you said, keeping your voice as steady as possible, but inside? You were shaking. “I’m done.”
He shook his head, like you were talking nonsense. “C’mon, stop. You always say shit like this when you’re mad. You’ll cool off in a couple hours. You’re just… overreacting. Again.”
That word—overreacting—was like gasoline on the fire burning inside you.
“I’m not overreacting. I’m tired.” You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling the weight of all the times you’d let him off the hook. “I’m tired of feeling like an idiot every time I care about you. Every time I think we might actually be something.”
He took a step closer, and you could smell the beer and expensive cologne clinging to him. “We are something,” he said, his tone softening just enough to sound almost genuine, like he believed it. “We have fun. You’re acting like I’m out here trying to hurt you or somethin'.”
“You don’t think you’re hurting me because you never even think about me in the first place,” you snapped, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “You never even consider how any of this makes me feel, and that’s the problem. You don’t care.”
His jaw clenched, but he didn’t argue. He didn’t fight back like you half-expected him to. Instead, he just stared at you, confusion all over his face, like this was the first time he’d ever heard any of this.
“So what, you’re just gonna leave?” He asked it like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Like the concept of you actually walking away from him didn’t make any sense. “You’re not serious. You won’t actually leave.”
Your heart twisted at that—at how confident he was that you’d stay. That no matter how many times he messed up, no matter how many girls there were, or how many times he ghosted you, you’d always be right there, waiting. Because you always were. All your life.
He was so sure of it.
You felt your hands shake, and you hated that he still had that power over you. That even now, standing here in this stupid hallway at some stupid party, your heart was still fighting your brain, still wanting to hold onto him just a little bit longer.
But you couldn’t. Not anymore.
“Yeah, Rafe. I’m leaving.” The words came out firm, stronger than you even thought you were capable of right now. “I’m not playing this game with you anymore.”
For a second, something flickered in his eyes. Panic, maybe. Or maybe it was just the realization that he didn’t have you as locked down as he thought. “You’re really gonna walk away from this?” He gestured between the two of you, as if whatever this was had been so good, so untouchable. “Don’t be stupid.”
You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. “You think I’m the one being stupid? You’ve taken me for granted this whole time, and I was dumb enough to let you."
He just stood there, silent, looking like he didn’t even know how to answer. Because he didn’t. He never actually thought you’d go. He never thought you’d call him on his shit and mean it.
But you did. And now he was realizing it.
Without waiting for him to say another word, you turned and walked away, feeling like you could finally breathe for the first time in a long time.
You barely made it a few steps before you heard him call after you. “Wait, hold on!”
You kept walking, forcing yourself to put one foot in front of the other. You knew if you stopped, if you even looked back at him, you’d get sucked right back in. But of course, Rafe wasn’t going to let it go that easy.
“Wait!” His voice was closer now, and before you could pick up the pace, he grabbed your arm—not harshly this time, just enough to make you stop. “Come on, don’t just walk away.”
You sighed, shutting your eyes for a second before turning around. “What, Rafe? What do you want me to say?” You were so exhausted from this, from him, from the constant back and forth. “I’m not doing this anymore.”
He let go of your arm, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated but trying to rein it in. “Can we just… talk about this? You’re pissed right now, and I get it, but you can’t just leave like this.”
“I can leave,” you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “That’s literally what I’m doing."
He exhaled sharply, like he couldn’t believe this was happening. “You’re really just gonna throw everything away? After all this time?”
You stared at him, heart pounding in your chest. “What exactly am I throwing away? Huh? What have we even been lately? ’Cause from where I’m standing, all I’ve been doing is waiting around for you to decide if I’m worth more than just a random hookup whenever you feel like it.”
He winced at that, and for a second, you thought maybe—maybe—he’d get it. Maybe this would be the moment where he actually realized how badly he’d been screwing up. But instead, he went for the same excuse he always did.
“It’s not like that,” he said quickly, like that would erase everything. “You know I care about you, okay? We’ve known each other forever. You’re… important to me.”
“Important to you?” You laughed, but it wasn’t even close to funny. “If this is how you treat people who are ‘important’ to you, then I don’t even wanna know how you treat people who aren’t. Oh wait, I do know."
Rafe sighed, shifting his weight from foot to foot, like he was trying to figure out the right thing to say. “Look, I know I’ve messed up. But…Can we just, like, think about it for a second? Talk about it?”
You shook your head, feeling the frustration build again. “What is there to talk about? You only wanna have this conversation now because I’m actually leaving. You never wanted to talk about it before.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off. “No, Rafe. You think I haven’t tried to bring this up? Every time I tell you how I feel, you brush me off. I’ve been bending over backwards, trying to make this work, and all I’ve gotten in return is you treating me like I’m an afterthought.”
Rafe frowned, his jaw tightening. “That’s not true. I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m trying to talk to you.”
“Because I’m walking away,” you shot back. “That’s the only reason you care right now—because you don’t wanna lose control. That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? You never actually thought I’d leave.”
He didn’t say anything, which pretty much told you everything you needed to know.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “We used to be best friends. I knew you better than anyone, and you knew me. But I don’t even recognize you anymore. And honestly? I don’t recognize me when I’m around you either.” Your voice softened, "I deserve better than this. And you know it.”
For a second, he just stood there, looking at you like he was processing everything. His face wasn’t smug or arrogant anymore. He actually looked… lost. Maybe even scared. It was the first time you’d seen him drop the act in a long time, and for a split second, you felt that pull again—the one that always made you want to fix things, to make it better, to stay.
But you couldn’t do it this time. You couldn’t keep saving him at the expense of yourself.
“I don’t wanna lose you,” he finally said, his voice quieter, almost vulnerable. “You’re… you’re one of the only people who actually gets me. I don’t wanna lose that.”
That hit you right in the gut, because deep down, you didn’t wanna lose him either. He was right—you did know him better than anyone. But that didn’t change what he’d been putting you through. And just because he was scared of losing you didn’t mean he was ready to treat you the way you deserved to be treated.
“I don’t wanna lose you either,” you admitted, “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being the girl you turn to when it’s convenient for you.”
He swallowed hard, eyes flicking down to the ground like he didn’t know what to say. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was finally realizing how badly he’d screwed this up.
You sighed, stepping back. “Look, I hope you figure your shit out. I really do. But I’m not sticking around to wait for that.”
You’d barely taken two steps when you heard him again, this time his voice quieter, almost desperate. “Wait—please. Just… don’t go.”
You paused, but you didn’t turn around. You were trying so hard to keep it together, to not let him see how badly this was wrecking you. Then he dropped the bomb.
“You’re the only thing keeping me sober.”
Your breath caught in your throat. Slowly, you turned back around, eyes wide. “What?”
He looked at you like he was begging you to understand, to stay. “I’m serious. Since I stopped using…you’re the only thing that’s been helping me hold it together. You leaving—it’s gonna fuck me up. You know that.”
Your heart twisted, hard. Of course he’d pull this now. You stared at him, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“I’m not lying,” He insisted, taking a step closer. “I swear. I’m trying to do better. You’re the reason I haven’t gone back to that shit. You’ve always been the one to pull me out of it, and if you leave—”
“Stop,” you snapped, holding up a hand. “Do you even hear yourself right now? You’re really trying to put this on me?” Your voice was rising, and you didn’t even care if people inside the party heard you. “You’re trying to make me responsible for you staying clean? Do you realize how fucked up that is?”
Rafe flinched, his expression shifting from desperate to defensive. “I’m just saying it how it is. You’ve helped me more than anyone else. You know that.”
“No,” you shot back, shaking your head in disbelief. “I’m not doing this. I’m not carrying that weight for you. That’s not fair, and you know it.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but you weren’t done. “You can’t just dump your problems on me and expect me to fix them. I’m not your therapist, and I’m definitely not your savior.” Your chest was heaving now, all the anger and hurt that had been building up for months finally spilling over. “You don’t get to use your sobriety as a leash to keep me here.”
His face fell at that, and for a split second, you saw a flash of guilt. But it wasn’t enough. “I’m not trying to manipulate you,” he said, though even he sounded unsure of his words now. “I just… I don’t know what else to do.”
“You don’t know what to do because you’ve never had to actually deal with the consequences of your actions,” you fired back. “You’ve always just said whatever you needed to say to keep people around. To keep me around.”
Rafe looked at you like he wanted to fight back, but the fight wasn’t there. Not this time. “That’s not what this is,” he muttered, but it sounded weak even to him.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside you. “I’m glad you’re sober. I really am. But that’s not my responsibility. It never should’ve been.” You paused, feeling every word you were about to say. “If staying clean depends on me staying in your life, then you haven’t actually changed. You’ve just found a new addiction.”
He stared at you, and for the first time, he didn’t have a response. No cocky smirk, no empty promises. Just silence.
“I’m not gonna be your crutch anymore,” you said softly, the anger fading, replaced with a deep, painful sadness. “You need to get better for you, not for me. And if you can’t do that… then this was never gonna work anyway.”
Rafe’s shoulders slumped, and you could see the defeat in his eyes, like he was finally realizing that no matter what he said, this time you weren’t coming back.
“Please don’t do this,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
You blinked back the tears that were starting to sting your eyes. “You’ll figure it out."
He was on his knees before you realized. Literally.
Your eyes widened in complete disbelief. “Rafe, what the hell are you doing?”
He wasn’t even looking at you anymore, just staring at the floor, hands running through his hair like he was about to lose it. “Please don’t leave. I’m begging you. I—I can’t… I don’t know what to do without you.”
You froze, staring at him like he’d lost his damn mind. Because maybe he had. What was this? You felt like you were watching some movie, except it was your life, and it wasn’t dramatic or romantic or whatever he thought it was. It was just… sad. And kind of terrifying.
“Get up.” Your voice wasn’t even loud—it was flat, emotionless. You didn’t even know what to feel anymore. “Rafe, seriously. Get the fuck up.”
He didn’t move.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, voice shaky. “I’m so fucking sorry. You’re all I’ve ever had, okay? Since we were kids, you’ve been the only person who’s ever stuck with me. Everyone else leaves. Everyone. But not you. You’ve always been there, no matter how much I’ve messed up.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut because, deep down, they were true. You had always been there. Through everything. The good, the bad, and the absolute worst. And maybe that’s why it hurt so damn much now—because he’d taken that loyalty, that friendship, and twisted it into something ugly and unrecognizable.
“I can’t believe this,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. “I seriously can’t believe you right now.” You shook your head, staring at him in disbelief. “You think this is gonna fix everything? You think getting on your knees and saying some bullshit is gonna make me forget all the times you hurt me?"
He looked up at you, his eyes glassy, and it almost made your heart break. Almost. But you weren't going to fall for it anymore. “I didn’t mean to take you for granted. I just—I never thought you’d actually leave. You never left before.”
“And that’s exactly why we’re here,” you snapped, “You always thought I’d stay, no matter how bad you treated me. You counted on it."
“I’m sorry,” he said again, voice cracking. “I know I fucked up. But I’ll do anything to fix it. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Please, just don’t go.”
You stared at him, the guy you’d known since forever, the one you’d stuck by when no one else did. The one you thought you could save, even though now you realized you couldn’t even save yourself when you were with him.
But this? Him on his knees? This wasn’t him fixing anything. This was him panicking, terrified that the one thing he’d taken for granted all these years was slipping away.
“I’m not the one who’s supposed to keep you alive. That’s on you. I’ve been there for you since we were six, and look where that’s gotten me. Look where that’s gotten us.”
His eyes were pleading, desperate, but you knew that if you stayed, this would keep happening. He would hurt you again, and you’d forgive him.
Because that’s what you did. That’s what you’d always done.
“I can’t keep being your safety net,” you whispered, feeling a lump rise in your throat. “You have to figure out who you are without me always picking up the pieces.”
He shook his head. “But I don’t know how.”
And that was the saddest part of all. He didn’t know how. He had no idea who he was without you constantly there to catch him when he fell. And you were tired of being the one holding him up while he pulled you down.
You took a deep breath, looking down at him—this broken, scared version of Rafe you never wanted to see.
“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, “but this? This isn’t love. This isn’t healthy. This is you being afraid of losing control. And I’m not gonna let you use me to keep your shit together anymore.”
His eyes filled with tears, and for a second, your heart ached. Because yeah, you loved him once. Maybe you still did in some messed-up way. But love wasn’t supposed to feel like drowning.
“I hope you get better,” you said, taking a step back. “I really do. But I can’t be a part of this anymore.”
And for the first time in your life, you were the one to walk away.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron au#rafe x reader#itneverendshere works✨#rafe angst#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe x kook!reader#bsf!rafe#toxic rafe cameron#best friends to friends with benefits#fwb to strangers#bsf to fwb#rafe cameron imagines#rafe fic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron obx#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x y/n#rafe x you#just angst#heartbreak#requested#bsf!reader#kook!reader#rafe cameron one shot
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Entry 18: The One Where Two Roads Diverged in a Wood of GIFs and Written Words
“Lukola Crisis Hotline. How may I be of service?”
Me: Houston, we have a problem.
Dad: Do tell!
Me: You won’t believe who showed up last night! –
Dad: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Whoa! I don’t know what to say! Wait – let me grab my Coke and my smokes. <waiting> Okay, I’m back. So, Misty appeared out of nowhere with Thang?! Well, this just got fun! <laughing>
For clarity’s sake, my father tends to give everyone a pet name. Some of the pet names are funny; some are quite cruel. But if they help him remember who the players are in this fandom (and in any other situation), I’m game to play along. Plus, his pet names tend to add a little comedy relief to whatever is being discussed, especially when it is not an outwardly funny subject.
In Lukola-Land, Luke is “Thang” (it’s actually “Thing” – as in the hand from The Addams Family – but my dad’s accent muddles the pronunciation into “Thang”); Nicola is “Ireland,” for obvious reasons; Antonia is “Misty,” for, umm, the Clint Eastwood movie, “Play Misty for Me;” and Jake is – well, Jake is actually just “Jake” because my father finds the USS Jakola offensive. In fact, when I was discussing the recent fandom events with him on Friday evening, my dad was genuinely shocked to learn the Jakolas still existed. His pet name for the Jakolas is “Fucking Stupid,” by the way.
Moving on to the matter at hand –
There’s been so much “noise” over the past few weeks that, when taken collectively, it is rather eye-opening. We’ve got Luke’s mother posting on Facebook about “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus.” The leaked funeral video and photos (by allegedly Luke’s family). The Best in Show pap pictures of Nicola and Jake. The “just friends” interview. The disappearance of Jake (because he’s rehearsing for a play) and the sudden reemergence of Antonia.
If you’ve noticed from my recent entries on this blog, I have obviously found most of what has happened of late to be comical and not worth putting into written word. Instead, my thoughts have been dumped into GIF stories. To be honest, I was rather disappointed I couldn’t put this last part – Antonia emerging from the misty edges of the forest – entirely into a GIF story. Her reappearance was like a certain Bond villain coming back to life for the seventh time. In other words, it was total cringe. But it also altered an otherwise slow burning campfire into a motherfucking forest fire.
Me: Thoughts?
Dad: I need some time to think about this one – and a cigarette. Or two. Call me back in 15 minutes.
“Psychotic Fan Rescue Center, at your service.”
Me: You’re a dumbass.
Dad: <laughing> Well, this is insane. It makes no sense and it’s a convoluted mess. Why bring Misty back? She was killed off two seasons ago.
Me: No shit, Sherlock.
Dad: Hell, maybe this has all been a nest of vipers.
A nest of vipers? Ah, yes, the idea that we have a group of venomous snakes thrown into the same close-quartered trench – in an every-man-for-himself type situation – each taking strikes at the others whenever their backs are turned.
In Entries 1, 13, and 15 – with an emphasis on “Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea” – I wrote about what the Lutonia narrative could look like, if real. I will not rehash in detail those entries here, but I will link them at the end of this entry if you want to read, or reread, them.
Now, the General Audience almost certainly didn’t pay a lick of attention to Antonia when she appeared alongside Luke at the Boss event held January 30 (she’s always just been a Face in the Crowd). But the sudden reappearance of Antonia stopped the Lukolas dead in their tracks because – like my dad said – she was seemingly killed off two seasons ago.
The Lukolas have suddenly found themselves at an intersection of confusion and, likely, a bit of distress. The long and winding road we’ve been traveling along has diverged into two paths – and, no, you cannot travel both.
The problem with the Lutonia narrative has always been that Luke has never formally acknowledged Antonia as his girlfriend. In fact, Luke had the perfect opportunity to do so when he posted about the Boss event on his Instagram grid – but he did not. I could rationalize the idea that Luke and Antonia wanted to keep their relationship private after the Papsmear misstep if it weren’t for the fact that Antonia has been historically loud in her social media posts. We spent the summer and fall with insinuation post after insinuation post from Antonia. Yes, all those posts that alluded to her being with Luke without any actual evidence that she was, in fact, with Luke. By the time Antonia got to “Pasta-gate” in mid-November, the Lukola fandom barely even blinked before dismissing her as, well, the antagonist from “Play Misty for Me.” And this leads to something even more problematic for the USS Lutonia – Luke has never rescued Antonia from being ridiculed and torn apart by the fandom. My dad would call – and has called – Luke a cad for this.
Jumping to the other side of this misshapen triangle, we have Nicola and her Assassin (my dad’s pet name for JVN). Assuming Lutonia is real, the only logical answer for Nicola’s behavior is that she has spent months trolling Luke, Antonia, and <gasp> the fandom. Nicola herself has admitted to being chronically online and, at a minimum, being aware of fan edits – so much so that during the London premiere she commented that she and Luke “can’t do anything” without the fandom reacting to it. Therefore, I will call “foul” on anyone who tries to persuade me that Nicola was unaware of, at a minimum, how the Lukola fandom had reacted to the Claddagh ring, Chaos Week, and the October airplane posts. JVN openly mocking Antonia on social media with, for example, their Slick Back Bun routine only added fuel to this fire.
For shits and giggles – and so I can get to the bend in this road – we will roll with my dad’s “Nest of Vipers” theory for a moment. We will concede that Lutonia is real, which, in my opinion, makes Luke the absolute worst boyfriend in London and Antonia a woman who doesn’t mind being treated like roadkill. It also, unfortunately, makes Nicola and Fan Favorite JVN come off like online bullies – with the only plausible reasoning for the bullying being that Luke and Nicola are at odds with each other. No, I take that back – they’re not at odds with each other – they’re seemingly at war with each other. I’ll even amp this up a bit and throw in the suggestion that, assuming Lutonia is real, Netflix & Co. is aware of the strife between its two Polin actors and are protecting their asset with blurred Polin-Lukola posts to pacify the fandom. Dun-Dun-DUNN! And yes! That was a sly nod to Jake.
Me: Thanks for that. You just made Luke into an absolute prick and gave Antonia’s starring role in “Play Misty for Me” to Nicola.
Dad: Hey, I’m not the one who dug up Misty! That was all Thang!
Me: Then why does everyone say Luke is the nicest person? Nicola, his co-stars –
Dad: All lies.
Me: Would you STOP?!
Dad: But I’m serious! Thang could be a complete pig behind closed doors and Ireland could be on the verge of a psychotic meltdown because, uhh, maybe she’s obsessed with Thang and pissed he chose Misty.
The unfortunate thing about this Nest of Vipers theory is that I could almost certainly make a convincing argument that it was legit. I’ve always joked with my Inner Circle of Lukolas that no one wants to see me go rogue, especially not – I’ll bite my tongue on that one. But I will emphasize the importance of keeping an open mind when you’re reviewing information. Always consider both sides of the coin. That said, it’s hard to ignore the evidence that was presented to us through the World Tour interviews and behind-the-scenes footage; therefore –
Me: I’m having a hard time believing Luke is someone who wouldn’t protect his girlfriend. He seems to support Nicola online quite a bit. Why wouldn’t he do the same for Antonia?
Dad: <laughing> Fine. Antonia isn’t his girlfriend. Maybe it’s all just a bunch of fuckery like I’ve always said.
“Fuckery” is my dad’s pet name for PR bullshit. If you didn’t pick up on it in previous entries, I am not fond of PR theories. But I also cannot ignore that PR relationships do exist and have for decades (hell, we could go back centuries and find examples of PR relationships across multiple noble and royal families – think about that, naysayers). It was my dad who first sold me on the possibility of Antonia being PR. So, I will consider this road to PR-ville in the same manner as I did the Nest of Vipers theory – with this PR theory having perhaps the better claim.
I mentioned earlier that the General Audience almost certainly paid little attention to Antonia’s existence at the Boss event. Although some people may find what I’m about to say a bit unkind, it doesn’t make it any less valid (and I’m not saying it to be cruel): Antonia, in the overall scheme of things, is of very little importance to the General Audience. She has less than 15 thousand followers on Instagram, even after being connected to a man who has almost three million. However, oddly enough, that didn’t prevent the Daily Mail from dropping a story which predominantly focused on Antonia within the same timeframe that images from the Boss event were being dropped on the Internet. It also didn’t prevent video footage of Luke and Antonia at the Boss event from being leaked online almost immediately – even when there were undoubtedly more famous celebrities attending the event. I’ll be realistic with this next comment, too: Luke may be relevant to the Bridgerton fandom, but that does not mean he is significant to, say, People Magazine’s average reader. So, why the sudden burst of publicity at this event?
I waited to write this entry to see what Luke did with the exposure from the Boss event. Would he finally put Antonia on his Instagram grid? Would he put her in his Instagram stories? Would Antonia post pictures from the event on her Instagram grid or stories? Would Luke unambiguously acknowledge a relationship with Antonia?
Although Luke posted to his Instagram grid and stories about the event, he did not include Antonia – at least not directly. The closest he came to including Antonia was via an Instagram story – on which he did not tag her – of a black screen with a link to a Boss TikTok that included images of Luke and Antonia from the event. The TikTok did not tag Antonia either. Luke did not post Antonia’s image to his grid or his stories.
And Antonia didn’t post about the event at all.
I wasn’t sold on a PR narrative when I started writing this entry, but my eyebrows raised when I saw Luke’s “black screen” Instagram story. This was either Luke attempting to circumvent the Lutonia narrative while throwing Antonia a bone, or it was Luke being an absolute douche of a human being. And, if it’s the latter, Mr. Newton needs to check himself into Assholes Anonymous.
I will concede that a couple of mutuals put up a few stories about the event (which disappeared after 24 hours) and Boss included (and tagged) Luke and Antonia in an Instagram and TikTok reel – without formally identifying Antonia as Luke’s girlfriend. On a side note, Luke could have reposted either of these reels – which tagged Antonia – but he did not. Luke also did not like this Boss Instagram reel with Antonia in it (and he does not have a public TikTok account), but Luke did like a separate Boss post of him and David Beckham (without Antonia). The only news outlets that called Antonia Luke’s “girlfriend” were rag-mags like the Daily Mail and Hello, both of which put an emphasis on Antonia. Digital Spy noted that Luke and Antonia “have yet to officially confirm their relationship.” So outside of some tagged reels (that weren’t reposted or acknowledged by Luke) and rag-mag speculation, what did Antonia get from this?
Dad: Publicity.
A single word but one that resonates throughout an otherwise silent wood.
But to be honest, I’m not entirely convinced this was for publicity. I’m not saying I believe Antonia is Luke’s girlfriend either – that’s a whole cauldron of contradictions on its own. I’m simply intrigued that Antonia has her Instagram tags turned off and she has not yet allowed any Boss event tags to appear on her page. So, outside of some junky rag-mag callouts and a few TikToks, what benefit did Antonia receive? And, if Antonia didn’t truly benefit from this appearance (or, at least she doesn’t appear to be reaping the rewards from a girlfriend or PR standpoint), who did benefit?
I mentioned at the beginning of this post that a series of events had happened one after the other over a relatively short two-week period: (1) Luke’s mum mentioning “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus” in a Facebook response; (2) leaked video and photos of Luke from a funeral; (3) those utterly ridiculous pap pictures of Nicola and Jake; (4) Nicola stating she and Luke were “just friends” in an interview; and (5) the sudden summoning of Antonia after exactly six months of being MIA.
As I sat here writing out the events of the past two weeks – and considering the reappearance of Antonia – I couldn’t help but speculate as to whether each of these events was meant to have a specific purpose that didn’t get its desired result.
The comment by Luke’s mother was so far out in left field, most Lukolas chucked it up to being suspicious and dismissed it as such. The funeral pictures and video released by one of Luke’s family members was quickly scrubbed from social media; therefore, just as quickly ignored. The pap pictures of Nicola and Jake were openly mocked across social media as being staged. The “just friends” comment – after almost a year of, particularly, Nicola dodging that phrase – didn’t seem to send many Lukolas overboard. Is it possible that the fandom’s mild reaction to all these events wasn’t anticipated? Which leads me to wonder if Luke and Nicola wanted a reaction and realized the only way they were going to get it was to play the only card they had left – Antonia.
When you look at the above referenced events individually and collectively, they appear to indicate a push to shut down the Lukola narrative. Why?
They could have shut down the Lukolas before the World Tour even took off. They could have shut down the Lukolas during the World Tour. They could have shut down the Lukolas after Papsmear. Why wait almost a full year to draw the line in the sand? Especially after every devoted Lukola would argue that (mostly) Nicola has left a trail of Swiftie-like clues to insinuate Lukola is real, and that Luke has made a visible effort to remove Antonia from his narrative.
Whatever the reasoning may be, we must admit Antonia’s reappearance had a purpose – and one that we need to respect. I have a hard time believing Luke would voluntarily step in the same pile of dog shit he stepped in back in June without a valid and significant reason for doing so.
And this is where I will draw the line.
I will not speculate further about why Antonia suddenly rose from the ashes of Manderley – and I will not tell you which road to take from here. That’s something you need to do on your own but, be warned that regardless of which road you choose – the one where you conclude Luke and Antonia are a couple, or the one where you decide Antonia is playing the role of PR distraction – the Lukolas are currently fighting a losing battle.
The Lukolas have become collateral damage. They’ve either been caught in the crossfire of an online war between Luke and Nicola (and their respective sidekicks) over, presumably, Antonia; or they’re the unwitting victims of some messy PR bullshit that has resulted in Lukolas being bullied across every social media platform by rabid Jakolas and Anti-Lukes.
Amazingly, though, many Lukolas remain resilient.
When the going gets tough…
But sometimes the tough don’t get going.
Yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Why are we still here? Just when we think something good is finally going to happen we get pushed back down. I’m tired of the dumb games.”
I rarely answer “Asks,” but my response to this comment is:
“Two roads diverged in a wood…”
Two roads.
One road is quite disheartening and the other is shrouded in underbrush.
But what you've overlooked is that there is an alternate path – a third road – the one that brought you to this point.
Turn around.
That road takes you back home – and, if you’re ready to go home, go home. It’s okay. It takes an unbelievable amount of courage to admit you’ve had enough. Remember that saying – “A wise woman once said, ‘fuck this shit,’ and she lived happily ever after.”
Take your time and decide what makes the most sense to you.
Dad: What are you thinking?
Me: Of a poem.
Dad: Oh, which one today?
Me: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by…”
Dad: Which road is that…?
P.S. Just for a bit of comic relief at the end of an otherwise somber post (not even Dad could make it lighthearted), I just wanted to say:
I love eating grapes.
IYKYK.
Those links I promised:
#lukola#luke newton#nicola coughlan#my thoughts#my opinion#speculation only#my humor#did you see what i did here?#grapes anonymous
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𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
< f!reader x kim hongjoong >
you finally catch a break between tours, taking time to enjoy your break with hongjoong. you enjoyed being his “personal assistant” to the public, being his secret lover behind the flashing cameras. however, once he began drinking, his care about his public image went out the window of the car.
cw: car sex, slight exhibitionism, marking, biting, kind of mean hongjoong, degradation, praise, oral fixation hongjoong, hongjoong but specifically him with alcohol running down his jaw. beginning is kind of rushed sorry!
you felt the music in your chest, the bass of the song loud as you managed to dance your way through the crowd. it was some exclusive club in Greece, somewhere hongjoong had scouted. you were happy to actually have a break, the tours had been running the whole group of ateez ragged and they needed rest to actually enjoy themselves. so, before the next leg of the tour in Europe, they decides to explore. leading to your current situation.
he guides you, wooyoung, and mingi to the bar, and you lean against it, the glass cool against your hot skin as you finally catch your breath. the club was absolutely packed, and thankfully no one had recognized any one of you. well, more so them, since you were more so behind the scenes. “Whiskey, cognac or tequila?” hongjoong asked, pulling you close by your waist to speak into your ear.
“Cognac.” you reply, although your mind was wondering elsewhere, his hand sliding down your waist as if you hadn’t noticed. you leaned back to look at his face, and he lowered his black sunglasses to give you a wink, flashing his perfectly white teeth. you shook your head, smiling back as you look at the bottles on display behind the bar.
none of them caught your eye, either too familiar or too exotic to even want to try. he turns to you, holding a large bottle of an unfamiliar type of brown liquor. “the hell is that?” you ask, pulling him towards you by his leather jacket. he shrugged, his face holding that same boyish smirk that always managed to land you in deep shit.
he lead you up a set of stairs, giving a firm nod to a security guard before you went behind a curtain. the music still played, just less loud than it had downstairs. you sit on the plush couch, crossing one leg over the other. mingi and wooyoung filed in after, each holding a bottle. somehow, wooyoung had caught a girl, longer curly hair and brown skin. you didn’t realize when he had disappeared from the group, but you decide not to question it, sitting next to her as the three talked amongst themselves.
“[name] take a shot with me!” hongjoong called out, holding up the bottle he purchased downstairs. he stripped away of his leather jacket, tossing it on the couch as he lifts his glasses up, placing them on top of his head. “fuck it, come on.” you chuckle, standing up and pulling your dress down. you let him talk you into wearing a minidress, despite the chill in the night.
while mingi changed the music to a rap song, you stood in front of hongjoong. you crouch slightly, bending your knees so you could stand below his arm as he poured the shot into your mouth. he almost filled it up completely until you covered your mouth, stopping him. he laughed when you shot him a glare, having to swallow multiple times in order to consume all of it.
“she took it like a champ!” wooyoung applauded you, sitting next to the girl he snuck in. you noticed him rubbing her hip, and you nod approvingly before turning back to hongjoong. that’s pretty much how the night went, taking shots and talking until there was a buzz going.
currently, mingi was standing on the table, rapping to “glock in my lap” by 21 savage. and he was actually going word for word, minus certain ones out of respect. he held the bottle, crouching down as you filmed him on your phone, laughing as he rapped with a serious face. (i’m the author, I’m black, i say mingi listens to 21 savage idc)
you stop filming once the snap met the maximum length of a video, saving it to your camera roll and closing your phone. you pick up the bottle, turning to hongjoong and waving it in his face. he nods, pulling you so your thigh pressed against his. you place a hand under his chin, tilting his head back as your red nails dug into the skin of his jaw. he opened his mouth, and you shift so your knee pressed into the seat, pouring the alcohol into his mouth.
he managed to chug while you kept pouring, and when he noticed your hesitation to keep pouring, he took the bottle himself, taking a large swig. some of the alcohol escaped his lips, dripping down the side of his jaw. before your common sense could catch up with you, you run your tongue up his jaw, licking up the alcohol, tongue barely grazing the corner of his lips before you pulled away.
you noticed the lust that glossed over his eyes, and you smile, pulling away to look down at him. you saw his lips twitch, and he simply laughed, wrapping an arm around your waist and placing you in his lap. you squirm a bit to get comfortable, holding onto him by placing an around around the back of his neck.
“you think you’re slick?” he asked in your ear, his free hand running over your thigh. “what do you mean? i’m slicker than an oil spill on ice.” you tell him, and he nods, his smile never faltering even as his hand slips between your legs, disappearing under your dress. he kept his face neutral, eyes staring at mingi choosing another song to rap, even as his fingers ran over the fabric of your panties.
“hongjoong, what are you doing?!” you whisper to him, grabbing his wrist as you look around. his eyes met yours, and he presses a small kiss to your cheek. “keep still and quiet. wouldn’t want the others to find out. or maybe you would, maybe you get off on that. Dirty girl.” he chuckled, tugging on the fabric of your panties so they rubbed against your clit.
“shit.” you curse under your breath, forcing your face to remain calm as you hold the glass to your lips, using it to hide your teeth digging into the flesh of your lips. he kept his actions up, somehow keeping his smile as he held a conversation with mingi about what song would be next. “put on future, don’t you and wooyoung like him? what do you think, [name]?” hongjoong asked, and you felt eyes on you as you clear your throat.
before you could part your lips to answer, hongjoong pulled your panties to the side, dipping a finger inside of your entrance with a cruel smirk. “i uhm, yeah, future is good.” you choke the words out, and you didn’t miss the confused look wooyoung gave before he turned his attention back to mingi.
his finger continued to pump in and out of you at a slow pace, and your head fell forward slightly. “c’mon [name], keep it together.” he taunts in your ear, using his hand to prop your chin up, lifting your head to maintain the illusion that you weren’t doing anything sexual at all. as mingi turned on “type shit” by future, hongjoong pushed another finger inside of you.
you buck your hips at the stretch, the sting almost causing you to moan outloud. you grip the fabric of his shirt tightly, it was the only thing keeping you sane. “oh fuck.” you whine, feeling his thumb rub circles on your clit. he felt your walls clench around his fingers, and he cocked a brow before he pulled out completely. you felt your jaw drop as he subtly adjusted your panties and patted your thigh.
“what the fuck?!” you hiss in his ear, and he tuts at your neediness. “you need to be patient. we’re not gonna be here much longer, you can wait. be good.” he says, and you glare at him. you stood, pulling down your dress before anyone noticed and walked over to wooyoung, pouring some of his alcohol in your glass.
mixing tequila and brown was a rookie mistake, one that you made every time you decided to drink with them. you felt the buzz wash over your mind, drunken giggles leaving your lips after about ten minutes. you sat next to hongjoong, rocking side to side with him as mingi continued to rap over a song. you couldn’t help the laughter that left your throat, holding your aching stomach as you got your laughter under control.
“let’s bounce out. you guys gonna be okay?” hongjoong asked, helping you stand as he reached for his jacket. wooyoung held a thumbs up, his hand rubbing the thigh of the girl he bought while mingi twirled the microphone between his fingers. “we’ll be good. get back safely.” he waved, scrolling through his phone.
once you had said your goodbyes, hongjoong guided you downstairs and out of the club. you noticed the blacked out limo in front of the club, knowing hongjoong ordered it. “when did you… nevermind.” you shake your head, watching the driver open the door. hongjoong holds your hand as you slide in, the smooth leather on your skin was cool as you scoot in.
once you were inside, you noticed hongjoong whispering to the driver, sliding him a bit of cash with a grin. once he got in, you furrow your brows together in confusion at the altercation. he was plotting, he always was, and he kept the same fucking grin as he did so.
the driver got into his seat, shooting you a knowing look as he pulled off. the soft hum of the partition rolling up. hongjoong was on you the moment it closed, his lips practically swallowing yours with hunger. you climb into his lap, your dress riding up your thighs until they bunch at your hips.
“you did so good waiting for me, baby. i think you deserve a reward for that.” he pecked your lips, his eyes laser focused on the black fabric of your panties. you wiggled uncomfortably as he eased them down your legs, letting them rest at your ankles as he soaks in the sight before him. you were soaked beyond comprehension, your pussy glossy and wet with need.
and he laughed, running his index and middle finger between your folds, gathering up your arousal on the tops of his fingers before sucking them into his mouth. “fuck, you taste so good on my fingers.” he said, shifting so he could slide his pants down. you saw the tent in his black boxers, and it made your mouth water.
“need you so bad, baby.” you whine, pulling him in for another sloppy kiss. you tasted yourself on his tongue, and it drove you crazy in the best way. he tugged at the waistband of his boxers, letting his cock slap against your clit as you kissed. “you want it?” he asked, his voice low and strained as he looked up at you through his lashes. you nod, fingers tangling in his hair.
his hand wrapped around his length, pumping a few times before he angled himself at your entrance, letting you slide down at your own pace. you couldn’t help but moan at the stretch, the sting radiating through your cunt to your thighs. “fffuccckk.” you groan as he filled you, sinking down on his cock until you hit the base.
“just like that, baby. so good for me.” he grunts, holding the back of your thighs. his fingers dug into the flesh as he lifted you up, slamming his hips into you. you gasped, one hand holding his shoulder and the other pressed against the window. he thrusted into you like he couldn’t live without it. and in his mind, he couldn’t. he couldn’t imagine himself without you, being buried inside your sweet pussy.
the sound of his cock pumping in and out of your warmth filled the car. the temperature was rising, every bump in the road only dropping you down onto his length more. “fuck, fuck, oh shit!” you cry out, feeling him spit onto your clit, mixing his saliva with your wetness. your thighs burned, shaking as you barely managed to keep yourself upright.
“such a tight little pussy.” he said through gritted teeth, pulling your dress down so he could latch onto one of your nipples. that was one of the best things about him, his constant need to have something in his mouth. whether it be your clit, your tit, or even sucking on your neck until it was red and bruising, he loved having his mouth occupied.
“so clo-se.” you choke out, your head falling back. you felt the coil tighten in your stomach, your pussy clenching around him to the point he let go of your nipple, his moans mixing with yours in the limo. he was so vocal, especially when he was needy. he even whined, leaning back and pushing off of the seat.
“fuck, i want you to cum right now. right on my cock, baby. please, I need it so bad.” he moaned, looking up at you with desperate eyes. his hips never stopped, and you press a hand into his abs. your eyes squeezed shut, that tight coil in your stomach snapping like a spring.
“dear god! oh shit!” you mewl, gripping his shirt tightly as you came, walls fluttering around him. he saw the cream from your pussy coat his cock, dripping down until it leaked onto the fabric of his boxers. that sight alone had him nearing the edge, and he moved one of his hands to your hips, bringing you to meet his thrusts.
“wait, it’s so much, baby please.” you beg, the overstimulation making your head warm and fuzzy. “shh, you can take it for me like a good girl. i’m gonna fill you with my cum. you want that? yeah, you do. look at you.” he laughed, biting his lip as his cock twitched inside of you.
you clench your jaw, moans humming in your throat. before you could process, you felt the warmth of his cum paint the inside of your pussy, his load moans and grunts filling the air as his head fell back. your breathing was heavy as he held you still, keeping his cum inside of you.
“you did so good for me, baby. such a good girl for me.” he praised you, wiping some sweat from your forehead. you nod, tired and drunk as he pulled his cock from inside of you. he helped you fix your dress, letting you rest against the seat of the car. you looked past him, your hand print visible through the thin sheen of fog that had covered the window.
hongjoong stroked your back, and you let out a content sigh as you near the end of your drive to your hotel.
THE END
#ateez scenarios#ateez smut#ateez x reader#smut#hongjoong#kim hongjoong#hongjoong scenarios#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut
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Like a Moth to a Flame
Pairing: Eustass Kidd + f!Reader + Roronoa Zoro (no use of y/n)
Where are my Zoro/Kidd lovers?!? I'm sick and this is what I spent my day sitting on my couch typing. 11 pages of straight debauchery. Enjoy :3
CW: SMUT, a literal fever dream bear with me, threesome, cunnilingus, deepthroating, rough sex, Zoro is a meanie :3, cuckolding, yes Kidd gets cucked, lots of teasing, slight power play dynamics, dom/sub vibes all around, Zoro calls you 'pretty girl', Kidd calls you 'angel' --- word count: 4.7k
🔞NSFW; MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS KEEP IT MOVING🔞
Summary: Eustass Kidd doesn't own you - doesn't belong to you nor do you belong to him, and he certainly doesn't care what you choose to do with your free time..... unless it happens to not be him. How will he handle you taking someone from an ally crew to bed? The answer: not well. OR Maybe Eustass Kidd just needs to see you get your guts rearranged in order to realize that he does, in fact, give a shit about you.
From the moment he saw you talking to the Straw Hat’s swordsmen, Kidd could tell that something in him piqued your interest. He’d seen it the first time the two of you interacted after the alliance was formed - the way you seemed to gravitate toward him as everyone discussed strategy and tactics, the way you smirked every time Zoro’s eyes lingered on you a little longer than they did anyone else as everyone recounted their experiences during the raid. And now Kidd watched as his suspicions were confirmed, noting how you pressed your shoulders back and your chest against his arm as the two of you sipped sake together.
Kidd could feel himself growing restless as the festivities began to wind down for the night, ready to retire back to the comfort of his ship. As he finishes the last of the drink in his hand he scans the crowd for his lot, eyes settling back on you as you continue to get cozy with the pirate hunter.
He waves a hand in Killer’s direction as he stands and walks toward you, your eyes flicking to him as he saunters over. You quirk a brow at him and unconsciously pull away from Zoro, the action not unnoticed by the swordsman as he flicks his eyes between you and Kid.
You didn’t know where you stood with your captain anymore, you knew he preferred to have you warm his bed rather than a nameless face, and his drunken rambles made you privy to the fact that there may be more to your relationship than just being his crew mate. But what the two of you had was fun, simple, and most importantly, not messy. Neither of you had any expectations of the other one, yet the underlying sense of loyalty you felt to Kidd was always in the back of your mind, never wanting to make him question your intentions.
As he approached he grinned at Zoro, his eyes flicking down to your chest, and then down to where your thigh pressed against his, lingering there for a moment before coming back up to meet Zoro’s gaze.
“You two look cozy,” he chuckles, and you can sense an undertone you don’t often hear from your captain in his words. “We’re heading back to the ship, see to it she makes it back safely.”
Kidd’s eyes remain locked on Zoro, the command weighing heavy in the air as he turns on his heel without offering you a glance. He disappears into the night and you feel Zoro’s hand shift on your waist, his eyes finally moving back to you once Kidd’s presence dissipated.
“Your captain doesn’t handle jealousy well, does he?”
You raised a brow at Zoro’s question, taking a sip of sake before offering a reply.
“To be fair, Kidd doesn’t handle any emotion well,” you start, giggling lightly at the presumption, “But I don’t think he was jealous. He’s probably not thrilled at the idea of me getting “cozy” with a Straw Hat.”
Zoro offers you a sideways look, grinning as he takes a sip of his own sake. You watch the bob of his throat as he gulps down the liquid, the flex of his neck muscles hypnotizing you.
“Is everyone in your crew emotionally dense, or is it just the two of you?”
You feign offense to his suggestion, but he continues before you can offer a rebuttal.
“He’s clearly territorial over you, why else would he only check on you before leaving for the night?”
The concept was not lost on you as you let his words sink in, feeling his gaze on you intently as you contemplated what to say.
Zoro notes your lack of response, swirling his glass a few times before continuing, “Maybe its just a male thing, but I’ve noticed it ever since the first time you spoke to me. You may not notice it because it’s normal for you, but I do - the constant checking up on you, the stares that linger a bit too long, the way he tenses if you smile at anyone that’s not him.”
You nod your head, still processing his comments, “Very observant, Mr. Swordsman.”
He lets out a single chuckle before raising his glass for another drink.
“Does that worry you?”
Zoro’s arm hesitates as he brings his sake glass back to his lips, a devilish smirk curling on his lips before he finishes the drink. The hand around your waist tightens as he pulls you flush to his side, craning his neck down so his face is close enough for you to feel the tickle of his breath as he lets out a chuckle.
“Not at all.”
His lips are softer than you thought they’d be, though the kiss is as harsh as you were craving it to feel as he closes the distance between the two of you completely, his tongue wasting no time and immediately prodding at your lips. They part for him willingly as you taste the sake on his tongue, his scent flooding your senses due to his proximity. You rest your hand on his broad chest, feeling the muscles underneath your hand flex and relax as you settle into his embrace. The kiss quickly heats up and you find yourself biting down on his bottom lip, to which he pulls away and stares into your glossy eyes, his own hazy eyes dark with desire.
“And what about you, hm?” he croons, nuzzling his nose into your chin as he leans down to pepper kisses along your jaw. “You said yourself that you’re captain doesn’t handle his emotions well.” You feel your back arch and your body lean into him as he moves down to your neck, his kisses growing slopier the lower he goes.
“Are you willing to risk his wrath for one night of fun?”
You moan as the idea flashes through your mind, the two of you tangled in the sheets, his hard sculpted body pressed against you as you both explore each other. It was unspoken between the two of you, but deep down you both knew things would never go beyond this fleeting moment. Your loyalties to your captains were woven too deeply into your beings to ever consider anything more.
“Or, is that what you want?” Zoro smiles against the skin of your neck, biting and sucking down on the tender skin above your jugular before detaching his teeth and licking over the abused area. “You love pissing him off, don’t you?”
You feel heat rush straight to your core as you squeeze your legs together, the truth of his words causing a moan to escape your mouth as he continues his assault on your neck. He traces his hand up from the middle of your back to pull at the hair on the nape of your neck, exposing more of your neck to him and earning a deeper moan in response.
You can feel his smile widen at your reaction, the lack of a rebuttal telling him all he needed to know as he pulls away from your neck reluctantly.
“Shall we?”
His invitation doesn’t need any further explanation, his lust-filled eyes watching you as you stand and turn toward the pier. You can feel Zoro’s eyes on you the entire walk to the Victoria Punk, though the closer you get to the ship the faster your heart beats at the thought of what was to come.
You ascend the gangway and immediately scan the deck, relieved to only see a few crew members lingering in the darkness. You reach back and tug Zoro’s arm, trying to make your way to one of the communal rooms without being spotted.
You duck into the room quickly, not noticing that Kidd had spotted you the second you stepped onto the deck. He noted your flushed face and how you kept your gaze low before turning back to the drink he was nursing, cursing lowly to himself for even caring what you did in your spare time.
“Leave it you freaks to have a designated sex room on board your ship,” he teases, cocking a grin as he spins around to look at you.
“Actually,” you say pressing the door shut with your heel, taking his jab as a compliment, “We have three.”
As you spun around and locked the door you felt Zoro’s looming presence surround you, turning and finding him hovering over you patiently, almost as if waiting for permission. You bite your bottom lip and lean against the door, and that seems to be the invitation he was waiting for because he swiftly closes the gap between the two of you, lifting you by the back of your legs and pressing you against the door.
Your hands tangle in his hair as he claims your mouth, this kiss more fervent than the previous one. His hands tug your legs around his waist before roaming elsewhere, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake as he traces the contours of your body.
A needy buck of his hips has you tugging at his clothes, craving more of his touch with each passing second. His large hands reach up and cup the mounds of your breasts, kneading them roughly as he grinds his considerable length into you again, this time deliberately teasing you.
“Zoro, please,” you moan into his mouth, the sound louder than you intended it to be.
He smiles cockily as he pulls away from you, feeling accomplished in having gotten you riled up already.
“Shhhhh pretty girl,” he croons, “Gonna have your whole crew listening to you beg for my cock if you’re not careful.”
A damp heat pools in your core as he grinds himself into you again, testing if that was in fact your plan. The moan you let slip through your lips is slightly quieter this time, but not enough to disprove his suspicions. One more thrust of his hips has you ready to beg him again but instead, he pulls away from your body, still holding you against the door as he drops to his knees before you.
You look down at him with heavy lids as he pulls at the waistband of your bottoms, pulling them and your panties down your legs and leaving you bare before him. The sinful way he licks his lips as your cheeks flush, and you barely have a second to process his actions as he lifts your legs over his shoulders. He supports the entire weight of your body as you’re pinned to the wall, your back arching at the first swipe of his tongue through your wet folds.
He hums at the taste of you, burying his face in deeper as you brace yourself against the door with one hand, the other tangling in his green locks as you bite down on your lip to hold in your moans. You’re only successful in doing so until he prods a finger at your entrance, and then the sudden stretch of his finger has your mouth falling open, allowing a throaty moan to escape you and vibrate the walls of the room. He quickly adds a second finger and curls them along the spongy wall near your entrance, causing you to press your head back against the door as his tongue dances circles around your clit. Stars dance behind your eyelids as you fight to maintain your composure, the knot in your stomach pulling tighter as you yank at Zoro’s hair, earning a grunt of approval from him.
“C’mon, pretty girl, let ‘em hear you,” he purrs before attaching his lips back to your clit, and you feel him wrap his free hand around your hip to hold you in place as you feel that cord inside you snap. You let out a string of curses as your orgasm ripples through your body, your moans morphing into whimpers as Zoro works you through it, his eyes watching you as you fall apart for him.
With a satisfied smirk, he pulls away from you once your hips have stilled, his chin dripping with your arousal as he brings his fingers to his lips, licking them clean.
“You taste as good as you look,” he smiles devilishly, and Gods you’re not sure if you’ve ever seen anything more sinful.
He gently pulls your legs from his shoulders, making sure you’re steady before pulling away from you, walking over towards the bed as he tugs at the remainder of his clothes.
You hear a faint sound on the other side of the door, but the chiseled naked body in front of you pulls your attention right back as Zoro turns and sits on the edge of the bed, his eyes beckoning you forward as you push yourself away from the door and make your way over to him.
He’s fisting his cock as you strut over to him, pulling your top over your head and discarding it across the room as you reach him and situate yourself in between his thighs. He hisses as you place your hand over his, pulling his hand back as you run your fingers over the swollen and weeping tip of his cock. You spread the precum down his shaft as you begin to work him gently with your hands, keeping your face teasingly close to him as he watches you through his lashes. His heavy lids fall completely closed when you give in and finally wrap your lips around the head, swirling your tongue around it a few times before running it along the thick vein that runs along the underside, your eyes holding his gaze the entire time.
Just as you take him in your mouth fully you feel his body shift, but before you can pull back and inspect him or inquire further he grips the top of your head and presses you down further, a mumbled moan of surprise escaping both of you as he tickles the back of your throat. You screw your eyes shut, willing yourself to take more of him as you begin bobbing your head up and down on him, earning a hiss of approval. Whatever distracted him seemingly hadn’t been important enough to mention, so you continue your ministrations as you feel a needy pulse begin to pool in your core once more.
Zoro’s grunts begin to fill the room as he presses you further and further down his cock, pushing you to your limits until your gag reflex is triggered and you sputter and gag against his length.
“Fuck, just like that, pretty girl,” he praises, and gag reflex be damned, you slacken your jaw and allow him to press even further into your throat, his hips raising off the bed slightly as he fucks into you. His hand on your head holds you in place as you feel your airway being restricted, trying desperately to breathe in through your nose for some sense of release. In a cruel act of dominance, Zoro notices your struggling and pinches your nose, holding himself deep in your throat as your ears start to ring from the lack of oxygen. Just as you think you’re going to pass out you dig your nails into his thighs and he lets you come up for air, sputtering and coughing as you pull away from him and try to ground yourself again.
You wipe the spit from your face and chin as you look up at him through bleary eyes, the same devilish grin on his face as his chest rises and falls, seemingly equally out of breath from the intensity of the moment.
“I see why your captain likes you so much,” he purrs, leaning down to grab the back of your head and pull you up into his lap, his erection pressing against your thigh as he kisses you sloppily.
“Is he always this nosy when you bring men back to the ship?”
The question immediately makes your stomach drop, your head flinging to the door as you see a shadow underneath the door, your eyes wide as you start to piece together the signs.
Kidd wasn’t sure why he was still standing outside the door, unsure why for the life of him he couldn’t make his legs work and retreat to the confines of his cabin. His intention of walking over here was to stop you before you got too far into the act, to see if, for some Gods’ forsaken reason, he could convince you not to sleep with someone who wasn’t him tonight.
But instead when he reached for the door handle, his Observation Haki triggered, and it was like he could see right inside the room - see how the swordsman had you pinned against the door, feasting on you like you were the first thing he’d tasted all day, and the way your body was practically singing for him.
At first, he convinced himself it was jealousy - that the alcohol was going straight to his dick, and all he wanted was to charge in there and rip you away from him. But then, when he rested his forehead against the wall next to the door, he could sense the change in Zoro’s demeanor, as if he knew Kidd was standing outside the door.
That made Kidd realize the bastard was goading him, and this was confirmed for Kidd the minute those last words left Zoro’s mouth.
You were still staring at the door in shock as Zoro brought his head down to your chest, taking a nipple in between his lips as he hums in amusement.
“Tell him he’s welcome to come watch if that’s what he’s into,” he teases, pulling you around so you’re on the edge of the bed.
You whip your head around to look at him, realizing he’s serious as he pats your ass and nudges you off the bed, motioning you towards the door. Your legs work before your brain has any time to process, and sure enough, as you open the door, there he is.
His eyes roam over your naked body hungrily, and you feel the heat pooling between your legs as he bites his lip, unable to say anything.
“Come in,” you squeak out, and his eyes widen at your request.
“Is that what you want?” his nostrils flare as he speaks, eyes flicking over to Zoro, who’s still sitting on the edge of the bed with a smug grin on his face.
You can only nod, a smirk curling up on your lips as you suddenly feel emboldened by the current power dynamic playing out before you. You walk over to Kidd, pulling at his coat as you push him back into the chair in the corner of the room.
“Sit.” The command leaves your mouth and, for once, Kidd listens to you with no argument.
His cheeks flare into a blush as Zoro chuckles behind you, and you turn around and make your way back to him, hitching a leg over his and straddling him.
“I didn’t take you as a cuck, Captain Kidd,” Zoro’s taunts. Kidd grunts from the other side of the room, his lip curling up into a snarl even though he keeps his eyes trained on your every movement.
“Fuck you,” he growls out, unable to refrain from snapping back.
You look over your shoulder at Kidd in warning, and you swear you see his eyes soften ever so slightly before you turn back to Zoro, who in return grabs you by the hips and turns you around. You’re now facing Kidd, each of your legs on the outside of Zoro’s as he pulls you down into his lap, tapping his cock on your pussy a few times as Kidd watches from the chair.
You notice the growing tent in Kidd’s pants, and you feel a shiver run down your spine as Zoro lifts your hips slightly to line himself at your entrance. He leans forward, nipping a bite on your shoulder before bringing his lips up to your ear,
“You gonna show me why your captain loves this pretty little pussy so much?”
You nearly moan just from the filthy words in your ear, and nod your head as you sink down onto his cock, your eyes staring holes into Kidd’s as your lips fall open once he’s fully seated inside you.
Zoro growls into your ear and offers you little time to adjust to him, his strong arms lifting you up and guiding you along his length as he brings his hand around to trace gentle circles on your still-sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Fuck,” he grunts as you begin to bounce in his lap, the squelching sound of him moving in and out of you accompanied by the slapping of your skin filling the room as you maintain Kidd’s gaze. Every second he looks at you has that knot tightening in your stomach, and you feel yourself growing impossibly wetter from the mixture of the lewd noises and Kidd’s gaze searing into you. Zoro’s cock presses deep inside you, your velvet walls clamping around him as he increases the pressure he’s applying to your clit, earning a strangled cry from you as you struggle to stay grounded.
Zoro leans back and gives you a few deep thrusts of his hips before he repositions you, pulling out of your wetness with a grunt as he walks you over to the corner of the room where Kidd is sitting. You feel a foot on the back of your knees and they immediately buckle, your body now kneeling before Kidd as he sits in the chair, his erection pressing painfully against its confinement.
Zoro drops to his knees behind you and grabs your hair, pressing your face into Kidd’s lap as he thrusts into you greedily, the sensation becoming too much for you as you try to hide your face in Kidd’s thigh. But Zoro notices and tugs your hair, craning your neck back so you’re forced to look up at Kidd, whose eyes are a fiery shade of amber you’ve never seen before.
He pistons in and out of you a few times before pulling you up so your back is flush to his chest, and he runs his tongue up the base of your neck to your ear, his raspy voice making your back arch into his thrust needily.
“Want you to suck your captain’s cock while I fuck you stupid, pretty girl,” he pants, dropping you back into Kidd’s lap as you frantically struggle with his belt.
Kidd’s lips curl slightly as he eyes Zoro skeptically, his eyes flicking back to you instantly as soon as you free him from his briefs.
You lick your lips before taking him in your mouth, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as Zoro’s speed decreases, matching the rhythm of your head bobbing up and down Kidd’s length as Kidd throws his head back. He lets out a throaty groan as you take most of him in your mouth, reaching down to fondle his balls like you know he loves, his hands making their way to your hair to goad you further down his cock.
A particularly sharp snap of Zoro’s hips has your mouth moaning around Kidd, and you feel his cock twitch from the sensation. He presses you to the base of his cock, your eyes watering as you sputter and gag from how far you’re deepthroating him. As he lets you up for air, Zoro tugs you up by the shoulder, pounding into you quicker as he seeks to force you over the edge again.
“Tell him how good I feel,” he growls, and your eyes flicker to Kidd’s immediately, his hand fisting his cock as he watches the lewd scene before him.
His eyes meet your intense gaze, and you avert your eyes to drop your chin as you struggle to find the words.
“H-his cock feels so good, Captain,” you whine, and Kidd thinks he might come just from the desperation in your voice.
Zoro chuckles, reaching over to grab your chin between his fingers and yanking your head back up. You’re convinced your body is going to combust as he sharpens his thrusts, your eyes meeting Kidd’s again.
“Tell him again.”
The sound that leaves your mouth has both men’s lips curling into smirks, and that knot in your stomach tightens again from the new angle of Zoro’s thrusts.
“His cock feels so, fucking, good, Captain!”
You’re sure your cries can be heard all throughout the ship, but you can’t find a morsel of your body that cares as your vision begins to blur.
Kidd shifts forward in his seat, finally unable to handle the lack of control, and grabs your chin into his own hand, snatching your cheeks from Zoro’s grip and bringing his face down to yours.
“You wanna come, hmm?” Kidd purrs, and you feel the tears begin to stream down your cheeks as he watches you intently.
You nod and manage to choke out a feeble ‘yes please’ and he tightens his grip on your chin, his nose almost touching yours.
He grunts in response, his eyes flashing up to Zoro, who looks like he’s beginning to struggle to maintain his composure.
“You come inside her, and I swear to god you won’t leave this ship alive,” he snarls, the possessiveness in his tone going straight to your cunt as you feel yourself clamp down around Zoro.
His response is also a grunt, his eyes screwing shut at the feeling of your walls starting to flutter around him.
Kidd smiles cockily, finally feeling a bit more in control as he looks back down to you, your tear-stained cheeks making his cock ache.
“Come on his cock, angel. Show him how pretty you sing for me.”
Kidd knows he’s end is near, so he lets you rest your head on his thigh as he pumps himself. You’re the first one to break, your pussy tightening like a vice around Zoro as the cord in your core snaps, waves of euphoria crashing over you as your moans fill and vibrate through the room.
Zoro fucks into you for as long as he can manage, but before long his pace turns erratic and he reluctantly pulls out of your velvet walls to spill himself on your back. His grunts echo behind you as he pumps himself dry, Kidd’s own groans and grunts pulling your attention as he comes undone moments later. A few ropes of his cum land on your face as you struggle to catch your breath, the smell of musk and sex permeating the air as you slowly come back down from your high. When you finally open your eyes and lift your head, Kidd is watching you with a softness you weren’t used to seeing from him, and you wipe the remainder of his release from your face as you climb up his limp body, peppering wet kisses along his chest and neck until you meet his lips.
The kiss feels familiar, but at the same time, there’s an unfamiliar desperation in the way Kidd’s mouth moves against yours that has your mind spinning a mile a minute. Regardless, you can’t help but feel at home in his arms, your sweat-slick bodies melding together like they were made to be that way.
You don’t notice Zoro standing and dressing himself, a knowing smirk playing on his lips as he moves towards the door.
Kidd looks around you to eye the swordsman as he opens the door, “Hey! Don’t go running your mouth about what happened here tonight!”
You swat at Kidd’s chest as Zoro raises his hand, swearing himself to keep this secret between them.
“Just make sure I get an invite to the wedding,” he chuckles as he grabs his swords and walks out of the room, your body tensing at the insinuation.
“Not a chance in hell,” Kidd groans, flicking his wrist to force the door shut and locking it again, lifting you and carrying you to the bed with him.
You’re too busy focusing on the fact that Kidd didn’t refute the idea of marrying you to notice the look in his eyes as he hovers over you, sinking his hips into yours for what would surely be an impossibly long night for the both of you.
My hands are sweaty, that is all I have to say :3 lemme know what you thought, and if you liked it, I would love it if you liked and reblogged to spread the love <3 ✨come say hai :3✨ 100 FOLLOWERS EVENT
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Jealousy
♡ Genre: Hurt/comfort, very fluff ending ♡ Pairing: Pro Hero!Bakugou x Reader ♡ Tags: Aged up, established relationships, dating (Jealousy on both sides, it's all unfounded so don't worry! You two are loyal like dogs to each other)
Bakugou was the jealous type.
Everybody in the entire country knew that. There was nothing Bakugou hated more than imagining you leaving him for somebody else. You wanted to tease him about it sometimes, but his jealousy made him so distressed that you ended up comforting him instead.
Currently, Bakugou was still seething at the man who last flirted with you. The guy disappeared into the street's crowd under Bakugou's contemptuous gaze. His anger could only be distracted by you and your words.
"It's okay, Katsuki," you said, while hugging him. "I only love you. I didn't even flirt back, you know?"
"...I know," Bakugou said. He kissed you on the lips, somewhat possessively. When he opened his eyes again, he looked so sad. "One of these days I wonder if you're gonna find somebody better than me."
"Katsuki!" You glared at him. "I could never find someone better than you! You are the sweetest, most loyal guy I've ever met! Even if you do have a temper." You giggled, poking his forehead.
"Dummy." Bakugou rested his forehead against yours, his arm close around your waist. "Sorry. Shouldn't have gotten jealous."
"No, it's okay! Always tell me when you're jealous, always!"
That's how most of Bakugou's jealousy fits went. Over time, Bakugou became less and less easily aggravated, but he still had his possessive moments. But no matter what, he'd never take his anger out on you or try to control you out of fear.
Meanwhile, you rarely got jealous of Bakugou, mainly because you weren't the type but also because there wasn't much to be jealous of. Bakugou made it crystal clear to everyone what he did and didn't like, and you were one of the few things included on the "like" list. In fact, you were the only person ever included on the "love" list.
But despite Bakugou's poor reputation with the public, he still occasionally found fans who fawned over him. These fans sometimes made you uncomfortable.
One day, you two were out in public together in a quiet side path of the town, walking between various shops. Coincidentally, you caught some of his fawning fans exiting a store. Bakugou paid them no attention but you couldn't take your eyes off of the potential "predators" on your relationship. The fans soon passed but not without some loud screeching and several pictures taken without Bakugou's permission. Initially it irritated Bakugou, but you noticed by the end of it he was paying more attention to you.
"Are you jealous?" he asked, seriously. You two walked in the opposite direction of the fans, their voices getting less loud with more distance.
"Of course not..." you lied. "They're just random fans, it doesn't matter."
You didn't want him to tease you for this. This was one of the few times you had to deal with jealousy, and it took you off guard. It was irrational too, and you knew it. Still, you didn't always like being actively reminded that Bakugou could be wanted by others.
Bakugou wasn't having this. He stopped you in the middle of the side path you walked down, his expression focused.
"Don't be jealous, alright?" he said. You opened your mouth to speak, but he interrupted. "And don't deny that you are jealous! I've been jealous of you tons of times, so I can recognize that shit anywhere. But it's just your mind playing tricks on you. You're still the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I only go for the best, ya hear me?" He started beaming at you, and you could tell he really meant it. "I'd rather throw myself off a cliff than go back on my promises to you."
That did warm your heart. He caught your lips turning up and his hand brushed against your cheek, but you still shied away from him.
"I just don't get why you chose me," you said. "You've got so many fans. Sometimes I wonder if there are better options for you out there..."
"I fucking doubt it. I have the best judgment and the best taste, so if I chose you, that fucking means something. It means you're as great as me... or better. Now don't go saying that negative stuff about my girlfriend. Or else."
"O-okay! Alright!"
You didn't know what the heck he could be threatening you with, but you didn't want to find out. Regardless, he still looked after you and made sure nothing the fans did ever bothered you. He would never tease you for your jealousy, because he personally knew how much it hurt. You were one of the few people he could trust, and because of that you two were dead loyal to each other no matter the odds.
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call it what you want pt 6.
matt sturniolo x fem reader.
mom i literally need him 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇
game day. game day. game day.
the day in tradition where the whole school gathers to watch a game of sports, played by a group of cocky, stuck up, shit eating jocks. aka: matt sturniolo.
-
“you have to wear it y/n!” he yelled.
“i don’t have to do shit! im not your fucking trophy, and i don’t want to be paraded around in your fucking jersey, just so everyone knows you’re not with jessica, i won’t do it.” you yelled back. crossing your arms, holding firm as you watched him pace the living room, hands on his head.
this argument had been going on for the last 10 minutes. he wanted you to wear his jersey, and you refused. you knew the only reason he wanted you to wear it was so he could advertise you instead of jessica, and you weren’t going to let him have that type of satisfaction.
“if you don’t wear the damn jersey y/n,” he paused before stomping over to you and coming to a halt less than a foot away from you. “i will drag you onto the middle of the rink,
in front of everyone and tell the whole school your mine, just to get the message across.” he said in a low tone, he was so close you could feel the heat radiating off of him.
quite frankly, you were speechless, there was something about what he said, and the look in his eyes when he said it, that you couldn’t decipher and it made your face hot, and your throat run dry.
there was a pregnant pause, the both of you just staring at each other, faces inches apart. matt was seething, his jaw was clenched and his eyes staring into yours were firm, but you couldn’t deny the low bubbling feeling in your stomach, from the way he took a small step closer, leaning down and bringing his face closer to yours. you swallowed, desperately trying to pull yourself together, but his face being so close to yours was making you swoon.
and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, his eyes glanced down to your lips momentarily, and if you didn’t know any better, he was about to kiss you.
“we’re gonna be late”
the both of you pulled away from each other immediately. not daring to look at one another.
matt practically disappeared up his own ass, walking off into the kitchen with his head down without a second glance, and you cleared your throat awkwardly while turning to look at nick, who stood at the bottom of the stairs, with a flat expression.
“we were just um…” you trailed off, looking back into the kitchen, trying to avoid his eyes at all costs.
“put on the jersey y/n” nick said with a monotone voice.
there was no getting out of this. you just sighed before reaching for the jersey that was hanging over the back of the couch, and pulling it over your head, finally looking at nick with a frown. he didn’t even say anything. he just sent you a firm nod, opening the door and motioning for you to walk out before yelling for chris and matt to meet them in the car.
-
“why are they playing so bad?” nick exclaimed, throwing his hands up.
the game was about 35 minutes in, and so far the opposite team was up by 5 nil. they had gotten 2 penalties so far because of matts team playing dirty, or in other words, matt gets pissed off and starts pushing them around.
you could see he was visibly frustrated. he kept doing that neck roll thing, like he was trying to relieve some tension.
but where else could you look when elijah had been shooting daggers at you, from the moment you appeared in the sidelines, clad in matt sturniolo’s jersey with a huge 4 stamped on the front and back, a stark contrast from elijahs number 9. you knew he must have been furious, but it only made you wanna grab matt and smooch his face off right in front of him, just to see the look of pure rage on elijahs face. you obviously never would but, a girl can dream.
suddenly the whole crowd gasped and fell into silence, snapping you out of your thoughts.
“shit” nick muttered. you followed his eyes and saw matt, pulling off his helmet, skating towards the edge of the rink, where you and nick stood.
you examined him as he came towards you, trying to figure out what the whole crowd was stunned by.
“what happened?” nick questioned, frantically.
“kid sent the puck flying straight at my fucking face” matt replied angrily, dropping his helmet, bringing a hand to his mouth, wiping a smidge of blood, where his lip had split.
your face scrunched up slightly. but soon fell when matt turned his gaze of you, pausing for a moment, like he was thinking, before he moved closer, letting his arms rest on the barrier separating the rink and the stands.
you watched him, waiting for his next move. you could’ve swore you saw a lightbulb pop up over his head, as a smirk grew on his face.
he turned slightly, glancing over his shoulder, seeing the whole of his team, and the other team, watching, before turning back, glancing behind you, at the whole audience in a stand still, also watching, then letting his eyes fall back to yours.
“kiss it better” he whispered.
you’re eyes widened at him.
“what?”
“all eyes on you sweetheart” he cooed, shrugging with raised eyebrows.
all eyes on you.
elijah.
jessica.
caden.
all eyes on you.
you had no time to even register what was happening, it was like your body moved before your brain told it to, and before you knew it, your hands were clutching at his shirt, pulling his lips onto yours, in a searing kiss. his lips were soft, and fit perfectly into yours.
you heard nick gasp from besides you as the whole crowd erupted into applaud. matt smiled against your mouth before pulling away, eyes boring into yours before opening his mouth to speak.
“almost convincing” he muttered, before turning around and skating off back to the middle of the rink, to the rest of his team, leaving you stood there in utter disbelief.
you kissed matt. you kissed matt and the whole school saw.
but you kissed matt and the whole school saw. he got exactly what he wanted, he got to put his trophy on display, and show everyone that he wasn’t with jessica. that’s why he did it, and you weren’t sure if it was because of that reason, or because you wished it wasn’t that reason, that you felt a little pang of sadness deep in your chest.
“what. the. fuck” nick spoke, staring at the side of your face with wide eyes. you just hung your head refusing to meet his gaze.
he was right. what. the fuck.
you just completely went against everything you agreed on and let matt get exactly what he wanted and a little part of you felt disgusted with yourself.
you could feel eyes burning holes burning into the back of you. out of pure fear, of either jessica or caden, you couldn’t turn around, you were not prepared for the blazing confrontation from either one of them.
you lifted your head back up and locked eyes with matt, he was smirking at you as his teammates clapped him on the back and dapped him up, as if they were proud of him and the more you watched, the more all of that disgust turned into complete fury.
how dare he. how dare he embarrass you and put you on the spot like that. he was just proving your point of what a jerk he was and giving you even more reasons to hate the fucking bones of him.
he was hot and cold. one minute, he was calling you ugly and being straight up fucking mean, then the next he was kissing you in front of everyone like it was nothing. he had been pulling you in just to push you back out again and it had only been one week. one week of pure insufferable tension that made you want to yell in his face and slap him blind.
he knew you never wanted to take this too far, this was supposed to be a harmless agreement to fulfil a jealousy plan, and a stupid “piss off your parents” plan, but he had crossed the line. he had grabbed you by the throat and sunk his teeth into you without a care in the world.
you were furious. your face was hot with rage and you’re breathing became laboured. you weren’t sure if you had ever felt rage like this before.
nick needed to hear this. he needed to know what a head fuck his brother was, but as you turned to him, you were met with a look of pure horror on his face. he was staring at whatever was happening on the ice.
in your moment of anger you hadn’t realised the commotion going on around you, people were yelling, whistles being blown, various coaches and other team members rushing onto the ice in a panic.
and when your eyes snapped to where everyone was looking, your face fell, with eyes wide and mouth hanging open, your heart stopped beating for a second.
————————————-——————————————
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‘ Blurry, Tired Eyes ’
A Drunk! Megumi Fushiguro x Male! Reader | SMUT |
A/N ; Yooooo, ngl, I’m running on zero right now yet I’m still doing this shit so sorry in advance. I don’t know how I honestly found the strength in me. It’s currently two in the morning and my ass is still up. Wide awake. So, I decided I was going to make this and finish it anyway. While staying up the entire night. Ain’t that fun? Anyway, here’s some random guilty pleasure prompt and peep the contents below.
Contents ; Masturbation, inexperienced reader, groping, drunk sex, praise, and daddy issues.
Dynamic ; Best Friends To Lovers
Sexual Dynamic ; Sub!Male!Reader | Dom!Megumi
P.O.V ; Second
Age range ; 18+ 21+
To be honest, you weren’t expecting this many people to show up after announcing the birthday party for Fushiguro. But, here you were, faced with an impending crowd all shoved up against one another, grinding and doing every inexplicable thing as they danced. I guess it’s what you get for entrusting Satoru with the planning.
This was the worst. You hated these types of celebrations and you knew Megumi hated them too. It didn’t help that you happened to be claustrophobic and everybody was sweating. Your face scrunched up, grossed out by the smell of liquor and onions. This was pure puke bait.
“And why the fuck does everybody have to be a whore?” You complained out loud before realizing you did so and watched a bunch of heads turn to look in your direction. That was not supposed to be said out-loud.
You took that as your cue to use your technique to disappear into the shadows and escape out of the situation by traveling to another place in the building. Although, it was extremely straining and gave you a headache once you made it into one of the hallways. Time to look for the birthday boy you’ve been trying to find all day.
Gazing up at the pictures that were hanging about, you looked over a couple that had your peers, hovering over to the stoic frowning Fushiguro who bore his eyes directly into the camera in the photo.
A small smile crossed your face, laughing a little at the memory of Itadori harassing the ravenette until he snapped just before it. Those two were always bickering back and forth, never giving each other a break, not once. It was entertaining to watch them chase each other around. Sometimes, joining in on it when it got out of hand. But, it was usually to hold Megumi back from killing the dumb guy.
You weren’t going to lie to yourself, maybe you also helped because you felt left out. The twinges of jealousy when Yuuji would get too close to his face or he’d get in a position with him that looked risqué. Either way, it formed a knot in your throat and you couldn’t help including yourself.
But, that couldn’t mean much. You figured it was because you were overprotective that this feeling frequently came to mind. Megumi had been your exclusive best friend for a couple of years by now. That had to be normal.
A part of you knew that there was more to it than what you were acknowledging. Though, you didn’t want to elaborate on it. There was no point in figuring something like that out if you hadn’t even crossed the flirting stage. And you didn’t know if he was interested in men.
The noise of an object thudding on the ground in the nearby room knocked you out of your mind ramble, causing you to jump in surprise before narrowing your (E/C) eyes at the door. You could sense it wasn’t a curse so that was good. That didn’t mean you were any less curious about who it was.
As you walked toward it, you could hear sounds from the other side getting clearer and clearer. And they didn’t sound innocent. It was groaning and huffing, desperate too. But, not just from anyone, no. This was the familiar voice of the boy you were thinking about a second ago.
Like a hypocrite, your heart felt like it was about to break. ‘He couldn’t be hooking up with somebody, right?’ you worriedly asked in thought, a wave of emotions washing over you before another loud moan muffled through the wooden door.
There was no way you were going to stop yourself from figuring it out after that. Apologizing to Megumi under your breath, you reached for the door knob and opened it to something you never expected to see instead.
The raven-haired male was completely naked from head to toe, leaning over a trash can with his left hand placed on the wall while the other was rubbing up and down his shaft.
His hair was drenched with sweat, strands sticking to his forehead, and his chest glistened in the lamp light. There were veins popping from his arms, neck, and most of all, his dick. His thumb focusing on his tip every couple of pumps as he mumbled out questions, “Fuck, why do I have to get so hard? Why won’t it go away?”
‘Jesus, fucking, Christ,’ was the only thing you could think. You were watching your best friend touch himself, bare. And it wasn’t taking you much before you were struggling right alongside him. The front of your pants tightening and a bulge poking through the fabric.
He noticed your presence once he adjusted to fucking his hand and took a minute to process, his dark blue eyes slowly widening as he stared back at you. You didn’t say anything, choked up by anxiety. Leaving the two of you to stand in silence, waiting for either one of you to break it.
Megumi covered himself with the sweater resting on the desk near him, eventually speaking up while trying to shake off the shock of being caught, “How long have you been standing there?” A red hue spread across both yours and his cheeks as you struggled to make eye contact. How come he had the ability to be so direct even during something like this? It was a quality that you liked, regardless.
You answered him in a quiet voice, “It’s been a couple of minutes…” Lowering your head out of embarrassment but not looking away entirely. You had just enough access to see what he was doing. And in that peripheral vision, you saw his attention flicker downwards.
Quickly, you hid your hard-on with your hands. Although, Megumi knew exactly what that gesture meant so it wasn’t successful. You could tell from the way his eyebrows switched from furrowed to raised like he was surprised. Then how more silence followed.
Not a single chance in hell were you going to look directly at him again, not when he was staring you down like this. You were hoping, praying to god that he wouldn’t point fingers despite not believing in that which meant you knew you were screwed. Was your friendship finally going to end here? What did this mean for the rest of the friends that are connected to you both? Panic was settling in the more he let you stand there.
“Can you close the door? I want to talk to you,” he asked bluntly after what felt like forever and honestly, that made your fear worse. “Please don’t say we can’t be friends because of this,” you interjected before he said anything else and closed the door like he suggested.
Fushiguro laughed through his nose and grumbled as if he was offended that you thought that, “Why would I want to end our friendship because you caught me jerking off, [F/N]?” Hearing him say it so casual made you get the comfortability to look at him again, seeing that he was picking up his clothes and acting like nothing happened.
He let you watch him get dressed, his back facing you the entire time, but you got the whole show. How he snapped his boxers around his waist, the indents in his back as well as the scars, and how his hair sprung back up into the spiky hairstyle he loved to style it in after he pulled his shirt over his head. You didn’t mean to stare, but it was really hard not to when you secretly admitted the feelings you have to yourself. And you just saw him masturbating. You saw his…
Not trying to finish that sentence in your head, you moved on by walking over to an outlet in what appeared to be an old classroom and kneeled down next to it to plug in the charger you brought. Thank god, you have an excuse now.
Awkwardly snapping it inside of the lightning port of your phone, you left it resting on a windowsill and turned to face Megumi. He was back in the outfit you had given him for his birthday. A cerulean sleeveless top with black Nike sweatpants. It was simple, yet he made it look like gold.
“Are you going to answer or are you going to keep checking me out?” He tilted his head, those wolf-shaped eyes of his burrowing into yours and making you unable to pry them away.
Your breath caught in your throat and all at once, thoughts became jumbled and you couldn’t figure out a thing to respond with. He was acting so careless just a second ago but now, he was flat out telling you that he knew what you were doing. What was going on?
Megumi sighed and rolled his eyes, “You don’t have to tell me. It’s obvious you liked what you saw. Your dick’s been rock solid this whole time.” He nodded his head toward your lower half, causing you to choke on your spit, and sputter, “What? No! No! I’m just drunk…” You struggled to breathe and had to hit your chest to help yourself. Hopefully, this excuse will hold up.
But, it didn’t. The ravenette began to walk towards you, his abyssal blue orbs never leaving yours once while you froze there. Until he was right in front of your face and glancing at your lips. “That’s convenient. I’m a little tipsy myself…” he said softly, looking back up through his long eyelashes.
God, he was so beautiful. You were beginning to fall for his tricks already. But, you didn’t care about how fast you went for it, you cared about the fact he was showing interest.
The pretty boy pushed forward, his hands placing themselves on either side of your head as his nose connected with yours. Your breathing escalated. This was happening. It was happening. He was going to kiss you.
Your eyelids fluttered shut while both of your lips locked with one another. His lips softer than a cloud and the pressure enough to relieve the tension in you. You had been waiting for this for so long. The tugging between his mouth and yours. When his teeth pressed into your bottom lip or how his lashes brushed against your skin. He tasted like Sake and somewhat bitterly sweet like dark caramel. It was worth every ounce of waiting. Every bit.
His hair brushed with yours and the palm of his hand reached up to cup your cheek, moving it to the back of your neck over time. At some point, he needed to pull away for air and as he did, the two of you were back to locking eyes.
The way Megumi was staring at you gave you chills. It was like pure lust clouded over his expression. He was giving you that ‘fuck me’ look so obviously that it made your knees slightly buckle. To follow up with that, he went straight to the point by sliding down one of his hands to your bulge and groping it. His voice smooth like whiskey when adding, “Can I take these off?”
You melted like butter in his hands, instinctively bucking your hips into him and groaning with a nod. It was crazy how bad you wanted this. The damp spot of pre-cum on your boxers getting bigger and bigger the evidence of that.
Fushiguro unbuttoned and unzipped your pants easily, hooking his fingers in the loops to pull them down to your knees. He kissed your cheek and the side of your jaw while continuing down with them until he was at your neck, searching for a secret sweet spot.
Moans cascaded out of you bit by bit during his exploration, getting sharper around an area he kept brushing past. When he figured out where it was, he suckled on the skin and abused it enough to where a huge hickey rested there. He got your boxers off as well and the moment his fingers touched you, your hand grabbed his wrist and tightened.
“Fuck! Wait! I haven’t done this with anybody else before! This is a lot to take in,” you exclaimed, panting and looking down at the sight of your naked bottom half right next to his covered hard one. Sort of wishing that he didn’t put his clothes back on.
Megumi didn’t seem to be phased by that. Instead, he figured out what you were looking at and got to stripping them off too. Once he was in nothing, he gave a soft smile and reassured, “It’s okay, [F/N]. You can trust me with this. I just… I really need to do this with you.” It worked and made you relax your muscles, getting closer to him unconsciously.
Then he leaned forward and pressed his tip against yours, wrapping his big, rough hand around them before spitting on it. Pumping it up and down, matching the pace he was going for himself earlier, and using the same hand now that you mentioned it. Your head rested back into the wall as you grunted out what you were thinking impulsively, “Fuck, daddy.!” You weren’t trying to say it, you just did. Outing a kink to him that you swore no one would hear a single peep about. That was what you get for attempting something slightly not-safe-for-work with a guy you’ve had freaky dreams about.
You scanned his face for any small detail of him feeling disgusted, weirded out, all of the above; you found none of that. Rather, he was seemingly in awe from how his mouth parted. It shifted into him giving a small smirk, letting out the most sexually frustrated voice you’ve heard yet in a whisper, “Keep calling me that… And don’t you ever fucking stop.”
Shuddering, you were letting more and more noises go that you didn’t know you could make and he was savoring every single one. Moaning along with you, fucking his cock against yours, and smearing his pre-cum over the both of you like it was lube.
The sorcerer got impatient. He needed something better than this. He knew what he wanted, the idea felt so right to him, he couldn’t suppress the urge to. You were right there, perfectly laid out.
Fushiguro guided himself down, using one of his hands to grab your thigh and move you to the desk. You placed both of your palms behind you to support yourself, just as ready as he was, maybe even more. With a rush of dopamine, you got the courage to dirty talk back, “Please… I want you… Daddy.” The nickname was hesitated on, but that was because this was all so new to you. How could he be so comfortable with this?
As low as it was, Megumi was pleased with the request and bit his lip at the sight of you spreading your legs below him. He never would’ve thought he would get you like this and fuck, he wasn’t complaining. Hell, he felt lucky.
He positioned himself against you, but teased by rubbing in circles. Making sure that you were wet enough for him to slide in with no issue. That proved helpful as his dick inched inside soon after, easing all of it until he could feel himself so deep that it was close to your stomach. You were gripping onto his arms, one on his bicep, the other on his forearm. Squeezing harder than you ever had.
It hurt so fucking bad. Like he was ripping you apart and forcing your body to succumb to him. Tears brimmed your eyes and he noticed it, stopping and keeping himself there so you could adjust. ‘Fuck’, he mentally cursed to himself, ‘It’s his first… I’m his first.’ A part of him got excited repeating that, proud of it. “Shit, sorry… I’m sorry, baby… Tell me when you’re okay…” Megumi rambled while placing a tiny kiss on your lips to make up for the pain. Never fucking a guy had its drawbacks.
Eventually, you got used to the fullness and it eased away into the pleasure you’ve heard so many things about. You gave him the go by nodding and tightened your grip to get yourself ready. A shocked gasp jumped out when he did the first thrust. It felt amazing. Too amazing.
You begged for more, “Please, faster. I want it. I want you to destroy me…” Losing yourself to the feeling of his huge dick fucking in and out of you, your cries got louder and desperate. Especially when his hand went to wrapping around your shaft to stimulate you even further. The pumping, the ramming, and his growls from his own enjoyment with your body all crashed down onto you.
Your edge was nearing, rushing at you with full speed, and coming closer by the minute as Megumi buried himself to where you could feel his tip poking out of your stomach. You cried out in pleasure, “Gumi! Fuck! You’re too deep…!” Arching your back and rolling your eyes, your dick started to twitch.
He chuckled and went faster with his hand, pumping the cum out of you basically and letting it explode onto your chest. It covered the majority of your lower half and dripped down as he continued to ram you into the desk. More sputtering out while he was fucking the high out of you. Your eyes were lazily closing, your mind becoming numb and dumb from the overstimulation.
Moans were blending together as your body threw a fit, digging your nails into any skin you could. He held you tightly there so you wouldn’t escape, doing you so hard now that it was sounding like everything was going to collapse underneath you.
Fushiguro praised you throughout this as an apology, “God, you feel so good… I can feel you holding me there inside… Like you want me to fucking breed you, [Y/N]..!”
That sent another orgasm over you and caused your cum to spill everywhere again, your legs sticky with it at this point. But, he kept going. He was so close. Right there.
The raven-haired man clawed at the edges of the desk when he was reaching cloud nine, thrusting in hard and passionate. He made sure to fuck his seed inside of you until it was like you were being bred by him. You knew you couldn’t conceive, but it sure as hell would be the case if you could. His muscles stopped tensing the moment he was done and he let out a satisfied sigh that was rare to hear, “If I knew sex with you was going to be that good, I would’ve made you my boyfriend sooner.”
With a peck on the forehead, he pulled out of you and let you catch your breath. ‘Boyfriend? He called me his boyfriend?’ that was all that could repeat in your mind as he walked over to where your clothes were scattered to clean. When everything was put away and he wiped up most of what he could off of the both of you, Megumi decided to have you come home with him. Walking out of the classroom together, he excitedly chimed, “Thanks for the birthday present, [F/N]!”
#megumi fushiguro#jjk smut#jjk x male reader#megumi x male reader#megumi fushiguro x male reader#male reader#smut prompts#dom megumi#sub male reader#megumi gets the title daddy?!?!?
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meeting spencer at a bar and he gets super confident out of no where and sweeps reader off their feet lmao
This was so fun and silly to write. Love you all <3
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The music was loud. You were standing at the bar, waiting for the bartender to come over to you. Your good friend Angela was in town for Vidcon and she insisted you come out with her and meet her friends. You weren’t much of a partier but you hadn’t seen Angela in so long that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity.
You had gone to college with Angela, she quickly became one of your best friends. You were heartbroken when you had to leave LA, receiving an opportunity you couldn’t refuse.
It was like the bartender disappeared. You decided to sit down, still not seeing Angela inside. You knew she was on her way but you assumed it took a minute to leave Vidcon considering the fame smosh had amassed.
—
“Oh my god! I’m so excited!” Angela gushed, sitting in the uber with Spencer and Amanda.
“Hey Spencer, do you think she's excited?” Amanda asked teasingly.
“This girls gotta be the best with how much praise you’ve given her.” Spencer remarked, having heard almost nothing but things about you since the plans were solidified.
“I'm serious Spencer! I think you’re gonna love her! You gotta talk to her.” She demanded.
“Okay we’ll see.” Spencer compromised.
—
Amanda and Angela beelined it for the bathroom the second they got to the bar, leaving Spencer alone. He made his way to the bar, waiting to order a soda. He stood there for a minute, not seeing a worker behind the bar.
“I honestly think he went missing.” You commented, noticing the way the curly haired man was looking back and forth.
“What?” He asked, turning to find the voice.
“I’ve been waiting for like 6 minutes.” You laughed, fixing the strap on your top. “I just want a sprite man.”
Spencer zero’d in on you, focusing on your voice over the loud music. He looked you up and down, taking you in. “You come to a bar for just a sprite?” He asked, stepping a bit closer to you. “I think there’s a McDonalds down the street and it's like 2 dollars there.”
You laughed, throwing your head back slightly. “You don’t say? I’m actually meeting a friend.” You explained.
“Oh shit, that sounds like a date.” Spencer put his hands up, “Didn’t mean to harsh your vibe.”
He was cute you thought, in a kinda nerdy way. Unfortunately, that was just your type. He had brown hair that curled slightly, especially around the nape of his neck you noticed. He was wearing a Creed shirt with a denim jacket over it, his glasses complimenting his eyes. He seemed familiar too, you weren’t sure why, granted he was a white guy and you lived in california so there were a lot of white guys.
“Actually, do I know you?” You asked, with a scrutinizing stare, using this as an opportunity to really look at him.
“I don’t think so, but I’d like it if you would.” Spencer said, shocked at his forwardness.
“Oh? Care to make that happen for me?” You asked, curious about the stranger in front of you. “Tell me about yourself.”
Spencer had completely forgotten about Angela and Amanda. They hadn’t come to find him and some other friends were also coming so he assumed they met up with them, maybe Courtney or Erin. Frankly he couldn’t care less either. He had a beautiful and seemingly witty woman in front of him that he was confidently talking to, who cared about his friends? He introduced himself to you, providing a more formal greeting.
The establishment was large but especially crowded in front of the bar, even with the M.I.A bartender. Spencer grabbed your hand and led you to a more quiet booth against a wall. The tall backing in the booth providing extra privacy for you. Before he sat down Spencer took off his jacket, folding it over and placing it beside him, giving you a new view of his arms. He had tattoos on both of them. You couldn’t help but stare, your eyes darting across the many different patches of ink.
“You like ‘em?” Spencer asked, noticing your gaze.
“I like the ones I can see.” You replied.
“Here.” He said, sliding into the booth next to you and rolling his sleeve up, exposing more ink.
You moved in closer, carefully examining each tattoo. “Thwomp, classy.”
“At least you know who he is.”
“I think I know all of these characters,” You looked, noting each of the pokemon, cartoon, and game characters. Your eyes stopping on a small rectangular character, “Except maybe this guy.” You traced the tattoo, looking up to the man, who you now know to be Spencer, for an explanation.
“That’s boxman.”
“Points for accuracy I suppose.” You giggled. “Do you have any more? Or just on your arms?”
“I have others, wanna see?” He asked, smirking.
“If you’re about to show me a waluigi tattoo on your left buttcheek…” You trailed off, “Count me in.”
Spencer laughed hard at this. Your humor seemed to match his very well. “You still down if it’s on my right buttcheek?” He asked, piling onto your joke.
“I’ve gotta draw the line somewhere Spencer.” You remarked.
His stomach flipped at the use of his name, something about the way it sounded coming from you was so right. He couldn’t help but stare. You looked almost ethereal, even in the dim lighting of the bar.
You had been engrossed in your conversation with Spencer, you hadn’t noticed your phone buzzing every few seconds. You unlocked your phone to 14 missed texts and 4 calls from Angela. The messages beginning with “Hey I’m here!” to “meet me at the bar” and “Where are you?” “God now I can’t find my other friend”.
“Oh fuck!” You exclaimed.
“What's wrong?”
“Remember how I said I was meeting a friend?”
“Not really… but yeah?”
“Yeah me neither, that’s the issue. She's here and I’ve been ignoring her.” You explained, immediately feeling guilty. “I gotta go but it was nice meeting you!”
You began to walk away, Spencer having moved to let you leave the booth. You stopped for a moment before turning around and crossing the few feet back to Spencer. “Since I’m leaving I just wanna say you’re really cute.”
You walked away before he could say anything, making your way around the bar until you found Angela.
“I am so sorry Angela oh my god!” You said, swiftly walking up to her. “I got distracted by this super cute guy, which is no excuse.”
“It’s okay, I’m just so glad to see you!” Angela replied, throwing her arms around you. “It’s been too long.”
“God I know!” You huffed, “Oh! Did you ever find your other friend?” You asked, remembering her text.
“Not yet, I’m sure he’ll turn up.” Angela reassured. “Let me introduce you to some people!” She led you a table down, getting the attention of everyone. “Guys! This is one of my best friends from college! Meet Y/N!”
“It’s really great to meet you all!” You smiled, looking around the table.
People began introducing themselves. The introductions made their way around the table before Alex, who was sitting across from you, noted, “We’re just missing Spencer.”
“S-Spencer?” You asked, slightly choking on the water Angela had gotten you.
“Yeah, that’s the other friend I can’t find.” Angela explained.
“Uh.. He doesn’t happen to have a denim jacket does he? Or a lot of tattoos? Notably a thwomp and large crab on his arm?”
“Yes, that's exactly him!” Angela approved. “You see him?”
You sighed deeply, realizing you had been accidentally ignoring her for her very attractive friend. “I met him, uh, yeah… You know how I told you about that ‘Super cute’ guy?”
“No way..” Angela said, immediately putting two and two together.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Spencer walked up to the table, a coke in hand, not noticing you. Until Alex tried to introduce you two. You both froze for a moment, shocked, then quickly broke into fits of laughter.
Spencer walked over to you, placing a hand on the small of your back as you both laughed. “We, uh, we met.” Spencer managed to get out, stifling his laughter.
You found his laugh to be wonderful, like the sweetest music. It was dorky and yet so attractive.
“I told you you would like her!!” Angela exclaimed.
“I never said I liked her.” Spencer shut her down, sarcastically.
You placed your hand on his shoulder, turning him slightly to face you. “Oh? You don’t like me?” You asked incredulously with a raised brow and a smirk. “I can totally leave.”
“I wouldn’t do all that.” He laughed, putting an arm around your waist and pulling you into his side.
“Yeah that’s what I thought.” You flirted.
—
You caught up with Angela, telling each other about what had been happening in your lives. All while Spencer was by your side. After a little while Spencer untangled himself to go to the bathroom.
“Holy shit.” Angela laughed, “He really likes you, damn.”
“He must do this to all women.” You waved her off. Even though he was kinda dorky, the confidence he held with you had to be a regular thing for him.
“Y/N.. he doesn’t talk to women.. And he's got his arm around you?? I don’t know what it is but damn he wants you bad! I’ve literally never seen him like this.”
You thought about her words. You weren’t a super confident person either but something about Spencer was just easy to be around, maybe he felt the same about you. It was extra flattering knowing you were both sober and he just genuinely liked you.
—
A few hours passed, people slowly leaving and heading back to their hotels. Finally you were about to say your goodbyes, giving Angela a hug and a promise to make your way to LA soon.
“I guess this is goodbye Spencer.” You noted, sticking your hands in your pockets.
“It doesn’t have to be.” He countered.
“Oh?”
“I mean if you need company tonight I’m free.” He offered, running a hand through his hair. His gorgeous hair.
“You don’t have any big youtube commitments in the morning?” You teased.
“Not one.” He punctuated, giving you a long look up and down.
Your face heated and stomach flipped at the insinuation. “My cars out front then.”
“Lead the way.”
#spencer agnew#spencer agnew x reader#spencer agnew/reader#shayne topp#smosh games#smosh#smosh pit#smosh spencer#smosh cast#smosh fanfiction
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