#I love talking about this so MUUCCHH

[bobosbillionsknives]

AUTISTIC TRIGUN IS SO REAL AND TRUE I WILL SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS !!!!!!!!!!!!

HORAAAYYY !!! I'm so glad I've been any kind of influence at all. This is too sweet :'D !!! ahhh !! <3<3

I do have some thoughts about the masking in particular tho..🤔

I see it less as Knives actively accepting his autistic traits, and more as him not being able to control them. He desperately craves control over himself. He's even been shown as self-critical of his past outbursts, referring to it as a "sin". I thought this scene was very interesting, especially with how much Knives is projecting here. "Without self control" "unable to think of anything but themselves"

sounds like someone we know, girl. ✋🙄

100% agree that Vash was the favorite child tho. Lol. Vash and Knives had very different needs as children, and Rem was way more equipped to help Vash. I actually headcanon kid Vash as very shy and reserved, wanting to always follow the rules. While Knives was very loud, outgoing, and opinionated. Knives' meltdowns have always been explosive, I don't think he'd have much of an outlet outside of violence, and Rem definitely didn't have the experience to give him the tools that he needed. Rem really did love him, but that preferential treatment for sure caused him to feel very unloved and isolated. He hates feeling like a burden, (Vash is similar in that way) he's afraid he's going to be chewed up and spit back out if he's not useful enough. "Do you think i'll be eaten some day?"

He grew to resent Vash for his ability to control himself. To mask and be "normal." For being easier to love. He is SO jealous of Vash it's not even funny. He's losing the idgaf war so badly. This is why he keeps trying to make Vash lash out at him (like in July). It's a petty attempt to get him to understand Knives' suffering first hand. He self victimizes so bad y'all. When he sends the Gung ho guns after Vash, he seems to have no worry of his safety at all. Likely cause he sees Vash as such a perfect angel golden child, any pain actually inflicted is because Vash let it happen. He has the utmost faith in Vashes ability to fight, and is very quick to blame Vash for getting hurt in the fights that HE caused. He probably doesn't think Vash struggles in life at all. That's why he's compelled to make him suffer. (Not that any of these thoughts are very conscious, just deeply rooted insecurities he picked up from childhood. Lol.) Knives feels so fundamentally broken, unlovable, and alienated that he's essentially made it his entire personality. His superiority complex is just as much of a mask as Vashes smile. They do it to protect themselves.

Also. The Vash internalized ableism point is SOOOO true and correct☝️. Vash is completely numb. He's dissociative, and doesn't even remember half of his own life or likely his childhood. He continues to mask because it's all he knows. The only coping mechanism he's used his whole life, it's comforting now. He doesn't really know who he is outside of that mask and he definitely doesn't want to find out. He's terrified of losing control and hurting someone. He's scared of ending up like Knives. To go back to the childhood headcanons for a sec, I think in a way, they were both neglected. Because of how much more attention Knives needed to mitigate his meltdowns, Vashes needs were essentially ignored. He learned at an early age that his problems were not as important. He learned to completely depend on himself and value others as inherently above him. He loved Rem, the last thing he wanted was for her to be any more overworked. So he did whatever she said, never complained, and everyone assumed he was fine. He doesn't need help like Knives does. Knives can't take care of himself like Vash can. He felt solely responsible for Knives when Rem was gone, and crushingly guilty for (rightfully) leaving him, "don't leave Knives on his own." He does view Knives as a burden, and that makes him feel even guiltier. But this would also make Vash feel pretty entitled, I'm suffering too. But I don't bitch about it. What's his excuse?

There's a lot of disabilities that could be read into with Knives specifically, I even project my own experiences with physical disability onto him !! Knives is weaker than Vash is, both in plant powers and probably in general tbh. Knives is definitely the one getting noogied in the sibling fights. (Also why he chopped his arm off...even the playing field a bit lmfao.) Theres no way Knives had any clue Vash was going to blast an entire city and half of his body with it. If Knives was capable of leveling entire cities, he would've done it by now. All the displays of his power are more of a flashy "don't get close I'm dangerous I'll get ya" message than anything world ending. He's just not strong enough. He uses his big brain a lot more for that stuff, like taking all the plants away so the humans starve lol. I headcanon Knives as pretty sickly in general, what with his fainting spells and what not. I feel like Knives' insecurities are his absolute biggest motivator.

Knives has always deeply craved acceptance. But he's convinced himself that he'll never get it. So he lashes out instead, letting his emotions consume him, because that's all he knows how to do.

Trigun is a very autism media to me. The twins themselves are full of amazing metaphors for autism!!

The plants wings are a physical metaphor for autism! To me Rem’s and other humans fear of seeing Vash’s overtly autistic traits is shown in their reactions to his wings. We see Knives isn’t afraid of showing off his plant powers ever. The twins have a very cool dichotomy about masking. I see Vash was favored because he masked, while Knives never cared to.

When Vash and Knives see Tesla Rem goes to comfort Vash first. This seems to be slightly on favoritism, but also because she’s shocked that Vash is having a large emotional reaction. I think the fandom sees Vash as hyper-emotinal and Knives as hypo-emotional, but to me it’s switched.

Knives does not hide his emotions. And absolutely does not hide his outbursts! He has meltdowns all the time and is not ashamed of his autistic traits. He doesn’t care about being unsettling or being accepted by humans/neurotypical society. (Even more interesting to consider that all of the Gung-Ho Guns are disabled/neurodiverse in some way). Knives allows his emotions to control him, where Vash is guided by his obligations. He does what he wants, based on his wants. And what he wants is to be with the only other autistic person he knows-his brother. He also desperately wants his brother to be free from his internalized ableism and the pain of masking.

Vash on the otherhand spends all his time masking and denying his autistic traits so he can fit in with “normal“ humans. He also again, in contrast to Knives, acts based on how his mother told him to behave. He hates acting out/standing out. He still operates on Rem’s instructions to be “normal“ and unnoticeable. He does occasionally show strong emotions but they’re not his positive emotions. To be these are less examples of Vash being over emotional, but instead are examples of outbursts. The overflow of negative emotions reminds me of my meltdowns! As well most of the emotions we do see Vash show are also parts of his masking. They are deeply constructed displays of emotion. All set to Vash‘s derived sense of what’s normal. It’s what he thinks positive emotions look like. His mask is baked into everything he does. And only one person sees through it-Wolfwood!!

Wolfwood is also set apart by the narrative. He has been modified. In my view this is the story portraying that Wolfwood is also neurodivergent in some way. He is capable of seeing through Vash‘s mask, and from Vash‘s reaction is the first one to call him out on it. He also goes from being afraid of Vash‘s autistic traits-his wings-to supporting him. His last words are him encouraging Vash to express his emotions genuinely(to not worry about his “unsettling“ autism smile).

Trigun as a media deals to deeply with disability and autism(if someone remind me I’ll make another little essay thing about Meryl and Milly‘s autism). I hope this is coherent!!

Anyways! Happy Autism Month!!

[mintytealfox]

Hi! I'm super new to IDV and keep seeing a lot of art (official and fan) with Fools Gold and Alice! I love it all, but I was wondering is there a canon or fanon reason for their connection, or is it just a ship that developed based on their personalities? :)

EEYYYYYY~ I would LOVE for nortalice to be canon but I will be shocked if they make any coupling canon outside of psychologist (Ada Mesmer) and patient (Emil) and if they throw in Geisha's husbando and AKA mostly those who were already coupled before the manor games~

But I personally think there is potential there~ the Da Capo game (the one they are concentrating on in the main story) heavily leans on the Greek Lore of Orpheus and Eurydice~ with the cast consisting of The confirmed roles are these two: Orpheus: Novelist Eurydice: Alice/Journalist then the potential roles are as follows: Hades: Norton/Prospector/Fool's Gold Persephone: Melly/Entomologist not sure where Frederick goes, he will probably throw a wrench into this entire thing LOL

EDIT: So technically Melly and Norton could fall for each other cause of Hades and Persephone (I wouldn't be opposed to that either honestly cause that ship is my second love LOL I don't necessarily see them as romantic but I wouldn't be upset if they got together cause of the hades and persephone thing. plus whenever they are in anything together they are constantly memeing on the other and trying to get ahead at the cost of the other loool so I think they meme on each other a little too much for things to get romantical lol but who knows they could prove me wrong one day)

BUT WE AREN'T HERE TALKING ABOUT NORTMELLY RIGHT NOW LOL right now is NORTALICE TIME LOL

but I love em cause of their personalities and I feel like they would balance each other pretty well~

for example, Alice with her OCD would be calmed by Norton's matter of fact and 'it will be fine just work hard' view on things. ((that is what helps me with my OCD anyways lol is someone I trust taking my hands and saying its fine) I have an entire post about hand movements and I went into how Norton's movements are quick and precises and deliberate and Alice would need that for grounding 👀 While Norton needs a gentle touch cause that would be so unfamiliar to him that it would make him stop in his tracks I think~)) ANYWAY OFF TOPIC

Then vice versa with Norton and his gloom view on the world and Alice comes in with optimism and cheery-ness lol. She will protect her lil grumpy people LOL

Alice 👇 Norton👇

So I guess to answer your question, its definitely on their personalities and completely based on potential~ The potential and nuance is there with what we know about them so far and there is the hope that Norton will turncoat in the story, with Melly convincing him to help her save Alice 👏👏 I just like adding the little bit of spice of 'you two get together and heal together okay' I feel like they would balance each other out well~

Norton needing that softness and Alice needing that wall to lean on. And I think they would work so well together~

I hope I somewhat answered your question, I feel like I was all over the place LOL my baaaad

also I have no idea why they keep having Alice looking so down bad for Fool's Gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣BUT I LOVE IT SO DARN MUUCCHH LOOOOL (and added to the fuel for this raging fire that is my love for Nortalice)👏👏👏🤌🤌🤌🤌💞💞💞but it has me LAUGHING at the fact that on hallucinogens drugs she STILL sees Norton as a knock out BABE -WHEEEZZEEE-

[clockvenn]

An oc I made last month when my glasses broke lmao

Zeiez's shape ocs inspired me so there's this silly menace :3

There isn't much I can talk about Zii, besides the fact that I LOVE ZII SOO MUUCCHH and its personality is basically HowToBasic, really unsrs 24/7 and would wreak havoc with literally anything

Being around it is really annoying and frustrating,, though... give it some hazard stripes and it'll immediately act like a cat high on catnip and would keep itself occupied with the hazard stripes

[irkedaud]

Nine beautiful months with you 💋

02.22.24 — 9th chapter together with you.

Happy 9 months of love to us, baby! 🙈 Until now, I still can’t believe that we’ve been together for so long and that we’ve already met in person. It feels so surreal to finally experience the real love that I’ve been longing for all my life. Never would I have imagined that you’re the only person who’ll treat me the best. Baby, you’ve been the best girlfriend that anyone could ever asked for. You’re the definition of what a lovable girlfriend is.

It still feels surreal to finally be experiencing the kind of love that everyone’s been talking about. I would’ve never imagined that I would get to experience this with an unexpected person who suddenly came into my life on that day of April 2023. Without you taking the risk to love someone again, we wouldn’t be right where we are now. Because of that risk that you took, we both got to experience being loved as a whole by someone.

Baby, all throughout our relationship, I’ve been loving you as a whole. I’ve been loving every single ounce, inch, fibers & atoms of you and I’ll continue on doing so forever. You were all I have ever wished for and It’s feels so surreal that the kind of love & person that I’ve ever wished for was just you all along.

When we first had our long conversation, I realized that I wanted to get to know you even more. I realized that I wanted to know you deeply. You left me curious about you ever since that day. Since then, I’ve been asking questions about you that I’ve always wanted to ask and we even exchanged some questions.

Baby, I’m uniquely in love with you. It was like we were really bounded to meet and be lovers in every lifetime. I sometimes get the feeling of like you were my past lover in my past life. Simply because It feels so unreal that we instantly clicked and became lovers. Baby, I love you so veryy muucchh. I really love you and I’m trying to hold my tears as I’m writing this because my love for you is overflowing.

I looveee yoouu soo veryy muucchh myyy bwaabbyy !! Let’s celebrate our 10th monthsary together next month babyy! 🥺 and soon, let’s celebrate our first year anniversary together! I looveee yoouu soo muucchh !! 😚

(I’m crying while writing this) Baby, I’ve never begged anyone to stay with me ever since because I know that not everything stays as it is. But baby, can you please stay with me forever? You’re the only person who knows the real me. You were the first person whom I can be comfortable with and I can tell you everything. You’re also the first person that I wanted to stay with me forever. I can see my future with you baby. I can see ourselves being happily in love with each other in the future.

I would want to build more and more memories with you all throughout the remainder of our lives. I’d love to do the things that we’ve always dreamed off. I want it to be me and you until the end, baby. So, can you please stay with me? 🥺

Being someone’s first love might be great but being someone’s last love is beyond perfect.

Let’s be each other’s last love, baby. I’d love to build memories with you knowing that I’ll be your last love. I want to do all of the things that we’ve always been excited about. Like, living together, marrying, having a family of our own, raising our pets & kids together, and traveling together in every country. Baby, you’re the only person that I can see my future with. Without you in my life, I wouldn’t be here today. You made me felt the love that I needed the most. You made me feel safe in your arms. And for that, I can’t help but to love you even more as each day passes by.

You were everything I’ve ever wanted baby and I promise that no one could ever break us apart. I would risk everything for the sake of our relationship, baby. I love you so very muucchh !! 😚

Babi, I know that there’s nothing permanent in this world we live in— but can you please be mine forever? 🥺 I don’t want to be with anyone else other than you. I can’t see a future without you in it, babi. I love you so much more than what I could ever find the right words to describe it. I love you so veryy muucchh 🥺 love na love kita and pwease be mine forever : ( stay with me forever po babi pwease?

I love you more than everything and anything baby. You’re my baby forever and I’ll be yours forevermore. I promise to stay with you even when things get rough and I promise to fix all of our arguments before going to sleep babi. I really really looveee yoouu soo muucchh !! Love na love kita babi 🥺 I’ll always be your wabwab forever and more! Mwaaa! 😚💋

In our 9 months of being together, I’ve done nothing but to love you even more as the days passes by. Loving you was the best thing that I’ve ever done. Nothing can go beyond to how much love i have for you. I can never exactly describe how much I love you, but I’ll always find a way to make you feel my love and to make you feel special even in just little things.

Babi, I promise you that you’ll always have me forever. I will never leave your side no matter what. You can always tell me the things that’s bothering you and you can freely vent to me. I’ll always be here for you whenever you need me, baby. I’ll be your comfort and safe person forever. I looveee yoouu soo veryy muucchh !! 😚

You’re as beautiful as the bouquet of flowers baby. If you were a bouquet of flowers that’s inside of a vase, I would stare at you for ours and admire how much your petals are beautiful and how uniquely beautiful you are. I could stare at it like it was a painting.

Baby, what I’m trying to say here is that you’re beautiful. You’re beautiful on the inside and outside. You’ve always been beautiful baby and you’ll forever be.

In terms of your personality & your thoughts, you are way much beautiful. The way you are so gentle with me makes you even more beautiful to the point that I can’t help but to admire your personality and your kindness even more.

This goes the same thing with your appearance. Baby, you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my entire life. You are drop dead gorgeous baby. I love you so very muucchh !! I hate it when you sometimes tell yourself na you’re pangit when It’s not even real ‘cause you’re so very gorgeous (hays babi ayaw ko na tinatawag mo yung self mo na pangit)

I looveee yoouu soo muucchh my so veryy gorgeouuss girlfrienddd !! MWAAAA !! 😚😚

[24hs]

ik this is like verryyy random but im so happy to share my a class with you like!!! 💕💕💕💕 i think it's gonna be soooo muucchh fun with you and i hope i can get bits of your intelligence because you're like so educated when it comes to languages i'm??? i wanted to say that ily and i hope you will reach your goals 💖💖💖

GGDGFGFGFG im Love u too hoe…………… I’m happy too Bitch the Happiest actually and whomst are you talking about my intelligence when I’m just trying to breathe the same air as you to gain that confidence and brain I’m! lets reach our goals together!!!!  

[irkedaud]

366th day with you 🫀

05.22.24 — First anniversary with you.

Happy 12 months to us, my beautiful baby! 😚 We've been together for a year, and my love for you grows every day. Each day, I find myself falling more for you. Over these 366 days, I’ve learned so much with you by my side. Despite the ups and downs, here we are, celebrating our first anniversary. You’ve brought comfort, peace, happiness, and love into my life.

I love how you make my day without even trying. You brighten up every conversation, and you make my heart skip a beat. I cherish the way you show your love for me. Knowing you'll be mine forever makes me happy. No one can break the bond between us. We will be together forever. I adore you so much. Baby, I crave your touch every day. Since we met, the way you held my hand made me feel safe. Every night, I prayed we would meet again so I could feel your touch. I really miss holding onto your arm : (

I think about our future every day. The idea of marrying you fills me with excitement. I can't wait for the day I see you walk down the aisle. You are everything I ever wanted, and I’m so happy to have met you. You are unique, and I want you to be mine forever. I will be yours forever too. I can't wait for us to be parents. We'll be the best mothers, baby! We'll give our children the love and care we wanted as kids. Our home will be a safe haven for them and us. I'm excited to be the best mommy for you, baby! I'm thrilled about our future together.

I love everything about you and always will. You brought color into my life when I thought it would always be colorless. You brighten my days and make my life lively. I look forward to talking to you every day. There are no words to express my love for you, but I want you to know I’ll do anything for you. Even if the world is against us, we will stand strong together.

I love writing love letters to you because they let me share my true feelings. I look forward to spending my entire life with you. You will always be the person I cherish. I adore you more than anything. I appreciate every day we spend together and look forward to making new memories. More love letters to come! I love you so very much my baby girl! 😚

I will always be by your side and am grateful to call you mine. I will support you in good times and bad. I promise to help you in every way as we navigate life’s ups and downs. I’ll be there if you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I will love you with all my heart for the rest of our lives. You are my soulmate, best friend, and the love of my life. My riri, I adore you completely.

I can never fully express how much I love you. But I want you to know you are my most treasured person. No one else can brighten my day like you do, even after a bad day. My joy and happiness come from you. I have endless love for you. I think of you before I fall asleep and whenever something new happens to me. I will choose you in every dimension, world, and universe. Without hesitation, I will always choose you. My love for you will never grow old. We will be together forever and always.

Lastly, happy first year anniversary to us my palagi! 🫀 You’re the greatest and the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. You really have that special way of making me feel valued and loved everyday. Because of you, I have felt what it’s like to be gently and genuinely loved by someone as much as how you love them. You’re the best girlfriend, baby. I promise that nothing can break the bond between us forever. I will always choose to fix things with you than to break that bond. I can’t afford to lose you— you’re my comfort person and I only seek comfort around you. I love you so very much, my riri. I love you with everything inside of me and I love you forever and more. Happy first year anniversary to us my special baby girl! 🙈🩷

P.S I’m sorry if this letter is short. I promise that you’ll have a longer love letter for our next date. I looveee yoouu sooo muucchh besstt girlfrieenndd !! 😚