#direct attempt on my life
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Oh I see how it is……. Ok, alright
ONLYFANS!!!!! LIZZ!!! Gimme gimme gimme!!
jj for i have a snippet just for you
He holds the base of the dildo with one hand and teases his entrance with it, rocking back and forth on his knees. R whines, his breath hitching as the toy catches his rim. Jake loves that R never sounds over the top or fake; the whine hits Jake straight in the gut, heat pooling in his stomach. He was already half hard before he clicked the link, and now, his cock is straining in his underwear. Jake pulls it out and starts stroking himself, lightly and avoiding the sensitive head. He wants to tease himself like R is, hold out for the real show.
“Fuck,” R’s voice is breathy and strained, like he’s been on edge for hours. “Fuck, I need you in me, daddy.”
#LIZZZZZ EXCUSE ME#LIZ#direct attempt on my life#ok#that’s fine#I apologize for nothing from here on out#minors dni#jake hangman seresin#bradley rooster bradshaw#top gun: maverick#hangster
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hola. i'm not dead. at least, not physically.
a lot of things have been happening in my life (mostly... not good) but i think things are settling down for now. hopefully. i'm not gonna promise some big dramatic comeback to writeblr but i certainly wanna dip my toes back in soon. i miss this place.
anyways, i'm strapped for cash, so expect an art commission info post dropping soon lol. i know it's the holiday season and everyone is broke but i guess it's worth a try.
#chay's shenanigans#keep reading if you wanna know the series of unfortunate events my life has been this past few months! also i need to vent lmao#over the summer the building i was living in switched management and in late august the new landlord showed up and announced#that they needed to do renovations. which. okay. it was not a new building. BUT the way they handled us tenants was unsurprisingly awful.#apartment hunting was HELL and a half because it was literally RIGHT AFTER all the students had found their places for the semester.#and then there's the part where they promised me a place to relocate and i was hesitating bc it was above budget but when i finally#decided to take it turns out they'd signed it over to someone else without telling me???? even tho they promised to prioritize me???#anyways i did end up finding a place but it's still way more expensive than ideal and despite my attempts to make it cute and cozy#it is NOT a nice place and i am honestly quite miserable.#doesn't help that the seasonal depresso is made worse by the lack of any direct sunlight in this apartment.#aaaand that's what you missed on glee!#i haven't been writing at all BUT i've been playing a LOT of the sims... made nearly all my ocs and dumped them in san myshuno to play with#like dolls. and now they're all intermingling like a massive soap opera#Azami Black-Mizuhara and Kalen Dyonas are dating somehow.
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yumeko..........................................................i gotta catch up on this manga
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#debu to love to ayamachi to!#genuinely really refreshing having a fat woman main character whos like in the middle of a attempted murder mystery story.#ignoring the horrors of her past <3 too busy being a cutie pie who everyone loves#i forgot the english name. my plus size misadventures in love i think? its been a minute#also realized i need to draw more fat characters. im fat myself but i only really know how to like#draw my own fat body type (no hips but a lot of upper stuff going on) without a direct reference orz#(obvs with a direct reference i can draw anyone LOL i miss life model drawing its fun!!) which is a silly roadblock to have#theres so many types of bodies out there. i still need to practice with yumeko here i keep making her cheeks and neck a BIT too small#i will keep at it yumeko. for you. i will capture ur bewitching beauty#but yeah. grabs internalized fatphobia by the throat and throws it out the window. I SHALL PRACTICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#if a bunch of my ocs randomly gain weight in the next few weeks u know why LOL
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I find it kind of silly that so many of those "time based life rule" sayings are like ~deep serious guidelines~ of some sort, but then there's that one other Well Known Rule that's just like "hrmm can I eat something off of the ground or not"
#the duality of human condition.. two biggest concerns in the modern era are attempts at self fulfilling productivity#and also 'if i drop my sandwich can i still eat it :('#Also while capitalism is often linked with/the source of hyper productivity culture - note that I do not mean the images in that context#'meaningful to you' does not have to mean 'productive within a capitalist system'. The point is not 'every waking hour of every day#must be spent in the most societally productive grinding mindset hyper efficency mode possible' but more like#if you've always wanted to learn french ever since you were a kid and you think it would be fulfilling to you (just because you like it#absent of any larger purpose like using it for a job/monetizing it somehow/etc.). and you've just spent like 5 hours straight on tiktok#or something mindlessly scrolling the internet. maybe someimtes it'd help for your own personal fulfillment in the long#run to try to - the next time you have 5 spare hours - work on learning french or something that is actually significant to you#as a person and that you'll be glad you worked towards. instead of weeks and weeks passing by and feeling you have nothing to show for it#or etc. AAANYWAY. The images/rules themselves are also NOT the main point of this post. More just the juxtaposition of them together#and the fact that 3 of them are serious seeming while one is so mundane it seems silly in comparison.#BUT even though they're not the main point . I still didn't want it to come across as if I was like promoting or buying into capitalist#productivity culture propaganda or etc. I don't find productivity tips like this inherently bad as long as they're kind of divorced from#those ideas. I think it's still important in life to have goals even if those goals exist outside of the typical expected framework.#I mean that's actually part of why a culture of chronically exhausted overworked deprived people is damaging because if you#'re forced to spend 85% of your waking time working at some job that is perosnally meaningless to you that brings you nothing that#youre only doing under threat of starvation and houselesness and etc. then of course you don't have much time for hobbies or things you car#about and of course you'll feel more aimless and personally unsatisfied and like life is not fulfilling or interesting.#Productivity and efficiency is GOOD actually. as long as it's able to be directed in ways that are actually meaingful to the community or#individual and bring some sort of feeling of fulfillment or progress or accomplishment and working towards a person's personal ideas#of happiness whatever those are. rather than just working away aimlessly so some guy you don't know can buy a 20th house or etc. etc.#ANYWAY.. lol.. Me overthinking things perhaps.. probably not as likely#that people see the silly little cat images and go 'WOW EVIL you must be a capitalist grind culture lover' like its pretty clear#thats not the point... but... just in case... lol.. I loooove to over clarify things that don't actually need clarification
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Totally caused a scene in the store we train in tonight after TWO idiots in five minutes saw my dogs and steered their own dogs towards them to allow them to charge up and start a fight. Apparently I was heard clear as day from the other side of the (very large) store. Don't even feel the slightest bit bad about it.
#wish i had yelled at the first guy instead of the second guy but i didn't get all the context for that one until After#but i think i got the second one in time to prevent any issues with hatchet#was attempting to start tassie's training portion right after her own attack and glanced up to see yet another tight leash beelining-#-in my husband's direction#never seen a grown man stop and turn around so quick in my life but i'm glad to see the dog training voice works on people too
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new icon time bc the moment we hit double digits on the halloween countdown my brain genuinely straight up forgot it was still summer
#*changes my icon and immediately forgets so I get jumpscared every time I use hold to rb on mobile*#oh yeah and here’s this funky guy. haven’t posted him before#he exists bc my hand shook in the wrong direction when messing around with a completely different Weird Cat concept and I went o shit that’s#better actually#my art?#my oc art#character art#original character#oc art#furry#character design#ignore that this draft is almost three weeks old just don’t even worry abt it#life is. hahahaahaha. so much rn my summer has been Dog and Constant Stress and art is just. not able to be a priority rn#so ofc I have many ideas :’) someday im gonna be able to do things just bc i feel like it for more than five minutes again. someday#i do have like 4? i think? finished pcs of Bear Art from the past few months that i might post for fbw let me know if you want that perhaps#but that’s not for another month or two I think? i should know that im sorry brooks falls bearcam i have failed :(#there’s some stuff in the drafts i forgot I didn’t post too actually#maybe I’ll get around to that with my. very minimal free time the next couple of days (<- probably won’t)#on that note#if you commissioned something from me and I haven’t posted it pls don’t be sad i am simply attempting to survive the summer#my brain is not good in hot weather under the best of circumstances and this has not been those#I Do plan to post them they just take more brain than like. this quick silly doodle for myself to draft out#i know ppl probably are not worried i am simply. afraid.#anyways. look a creature
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I have never made so many mistakes that the beginners tutorials cannot even anticipate as I have learning knitting. Why do tutorials for stitches leave out random steps that are absolutely crucial to being able to knit? Is it a test? Or am I inventing new mistakes as we speak?
#like I have been attempting to do rib stitching for three days and I never get past one row because the stitches get like#tied together on the needle in groups of three somehow#i watched a tutorial on .75 speed and only then realized YOURE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE WHAT DIRECTION THE TAIL IS COMING FROM BETWEEN STITCHES#no one ever mentioned that#I’ve been frogging for my life out here and the answer was so simple
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#fighting for my life with my therapist attempting to find a Balance™ for everything#the pendulum has almost swung too much in the opposite direction 💀#but im figuring it out#and i think i had a come to jesus moment with her where it was like. i think a single apartment will suit me best#like somehow coming to that conclusion has granted me an absurd amount of zen#miscellaneous#tonight at least my friend and i are doing a little working session so i get to get some writing done c:
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#i have no idea how to respond to the whole qsmp situation right now#i mean. i dont watch it or interact with qsmp ITSELF#only the fans around it#I have made fanart for it but not really because i have any particular attachment to specific characters but just because#its a very good springboard for character design and inspiration#Im very involved with the fanbase though as the QSMPnews discord is one of my main discords#and I mainly use the fandom space as a way of practicing/getting into foreign languages#although i dont watch qsmp it still has impacted my life massively in the last year#this clusterfuck of project management is difficult to unravel and know what to do with#and its difficult to know exactly where to turn your attention#or who to blame#since theres so many levels of miscommunication that hasnt been helped by the sharing of it online#i think. even if QSMP doesn't survive#it would be ludicrous to state it as an inherently harmful server#since there has been an evident change in the minecraft gaming space because of it in multiculturalism.#heck IM direct proof of that as someone who does not reguarly engage with the server itself via streams#the fact that as a result of a 21 year old kid deciding to start a sever I can end up with a group of spanish speakers trying to explain#various concepts to me in my language while i respond in theirs is. insane#so do i think that the qsmp will survive?#um. look i dont see how it can.#I've never thought that it could#but i dont think that im going to demonise fans or avoid content relating to it#considering how integral the fanspaces around it are to me and my personal quest for language proficiency#however I will attempt to keep qsmp posts on my french/spanish blogs#well that was. long-winded#idk this is a very self-centred look into the qsmp and this whole situation#obviously I hope that the staff get paid but. I really have no idea where Quackity Studios might get that money from or how the#server should either end or continue
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i need 2 stop drawing static stuff . white bg . front facing pose. <will do it again
#i looked thru my media tab 2day .horrific#WHERES THA PURPOSEEEE E#there doesnt have 2 be any . of coursies .#but thats smt i want to work on rly hard T_T 2024!!!!!!!!!#smth smth reflection but i am happy with what ive done in 2023#definitely havent finished as many things as id hoped but thats okay.kind of touched on it w that one trgn comp a few months ago#but i tried 2 be more confident in areas i wasnt so sure abt before and it paid off in a way that im happy with T__T❤️#like despite all my gloom & burnout and artblock . i had a lot of fun . and im rly fortunate that ive been able to meet the nicest ppl#through it T__T#idk what jm talking abt anymore but j think . i am happy w the direction im headed in and i just need to work harder now on variability#and concept and composition. not rly sure where to start but i think compiling some of my favs in a single place#and studying them will help. :3.. AND NOT GIVING UP A SKETCH IF ITS FRUSTRATING ATM😭😭😭😭#some of them ..that one w meryl and vash . i ould not for the life of me figure out and i was like soo done w it#but then i was likeno OK just do it who cares . and then i found a workflow that worked and it WAS SOO MUCH FUNNN AND I STILL RLY LOVE HOW#IT TURNED OUTTT ..#and the one w knives . the beautiful universe one . i rmbr being so annoyed by a similar attempt that inwas lkke fuck it im just gna use the#biggest brush ever and play arnd with stuff bc its not gna see the light of day and fhen j agonized abt sharing it and everyone WAS SOOO#NICE TO ME !!&2&2 LIKEEE it was one of my earliest trgn pieces so kind of new 2 da scene and lkke . idk man it helped me enjoy my art from#an outside perspective after struggling w the doubt and its now one of my favorites ever too …#ORRR .. the vash and wolfwood one w the silly blue sky bg .. the textures were so mindless and fun#or the elendira . SOOO MANY FUN ELENDIRAS.. the perspective nail gun one is still a fav bc i shy away from perspective bc its hard as shit#but it worked out and i luv it tew .#sory anyways . very happy. and thankful^__^ ik when j post stuff like URRG MY ART!!!it mostly jst comes from .like GAAH want 2 push myself#harder bc i know itll be fun once i get 2 where im going T_T#anyways if u got 2 this point u r lkterally angel my angelll~ hamtaro pic#tys
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. noncoherent but also thoughts
#i have such mixed feelings on the solas varric save everyone meme#bc on one hand ya that is whats going on in that dialoge but also!! its not!!#solas *is* trying to save everyone from his pov on several levels (the spirits the ancieny elves the modern people too to an extent*)#*the extent being how far he views them as people/everyone being semi dependant on his relationship with the inquisitor i believe#and he is trying this is his third fucking attempt we know of to save everyone#(which of course he will keep trying and keep trying as alone as possible he isnt named pride for no reason he doesnt have a place -#-in the dalish pantheon for no reason)#and then varric..#my god where do i even begin with varric's pov#da2 varric is EXTREMELY you cant save everyone (so why bother to try) and so very much out for himself (and those he cares about -#-bc those are *his* friends and his friends are part of his life)#but for those outside his circle? varric does not give two shits about anyone outside in da2#dai varric has learned over the past 10 years little. imo. he's learned his friends are affected by things he cannot control (hello.) but#he clings to the idea he can control things he can write their (his) story bc if he cant (and he knows he cant its why he tries so hard) -#then its been meaningless the whole time and he's back at square one#varric has learned the you have to try thing the fucking hard way and tbh he doesnt really believe it (at least not in dai)#i REALLY wanna see dav varric and what development he's had (sorry i havent read the comics and probably wont theyre hard for me to see/read#god i wish i could see what my tags are bc i dont remember where i cut several of these off fuck mobile tagging but anyways#i want tosee what direction varric has moved in - his dialogue inthe trailer is deeply interesting to me. specifically. since it does seem#to imply a real shift in his pov but im Suspicious bc while varric has always cared deeply and has been tryung very hard to keep his friends#read his#life comfortable he's really never picked any sort of side in his life varric is deeply centrist bc he benefits from not rocking the boat#(usually.)#(dai trapped him imo and hes not there to save the world by a long shot)#but dav seems to position him into an instigator role a real shake it up and point role#very interesting to me i wanna see where it goes#anyway.#im gonna take more headache meds and open indeed and blow myself up
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HAPPY 51st BIRTHDAY, TAKUYA!!!! Here's a handful of my favorite pictures of him doing what he does best: being a massive dork and yet somehow incredibly cool.
#kimura takuya#hard to believe this man has changed my life so much#but he really has and im so grateful for it and him#becoming his fan lead me to making some incredible friends and learning new skills#and helped me find a direction to attempt to steer my life despite my body working against me#and yeah im feral over him because i find him attractive yadda yadda but i honestly do admire him a lot#i admire his loyalty and commitment to doing a job well no matter how small and how much he looks out for others#among other traits but im getting tired of this tag rant LMAO if you read this far then 😘
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Thinking about this video I saw of a dude lifting weights with the caption “I’m like Batman except I hate fat bitches” with this really serious broody expression on his face
And that still cracks me up to this day
Wtf does that mean, man?? Did fat bitches kill your parents????
Also shoutout to a girl making fun of the guy who said “anyway you know Batman loves him some fat bitches”
#nerd ramblings#it’s me I’m the fat bitches that killed his parents#and now he must workout tirelessly so he can attempt to defeat me and avenge his parents#but my big fat ass is a formidable weapon#and a form of defense as well#he’s in for the fight of his life…#*jiggles threateningly in his direction*#(okay but seriously I couldn’t even be offended it’s just so fucking funny to me)
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the happy couples on Valentine's day make me sick to my stomach. im praying on their downfall
#i only kind of mean that#and it is directed at my friend and her boyfriend bcs the boyf is my worst enemy#we've been feuding for so long and i need them to break up now so she can realise all the shitty stuff he does#but also i'm a bit jealous bcs i blunder thru life oblivious to any and all romantic attempts til its too late
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Hey everyone how are you doing today because I'm uh. I'm??? I'm.
:^)
Yeah I'm!! really Going Through It, holy fuck
#ignore me#Tyto listens to WtNV#I've passed the point I originally stopped back in the day so this is all new to me#me after episode 100 (an ignorant fool): WOW there sure has been a lot of plot-heavy stuff happening but that was a nice repreive. I bet we#'ll have a few chill episodic fillers before we get back into another huge plot thing :)#Fink and Cranor: lol. lmao even.#I mean FUCK we barely had time to blink before [REDACTED] died!!!! that would have been earth-shattering enough on its own!!!!!! T_T#and then before anyone's had time to recover from that suddenly REALITY IS CRACKING APART AT THE SEAMS in a way that is somehow#JUST AS IF NOT MORE UPSETTING than when the city had to fend off a LITERAL DEMON attempting to drag them all into nothingness!!#it's less direct terror and more overpowering dread in this case but oh my god the DESPERATION in Cecil's pleas at the end of ''Cal''!!!#he's so afraid of the others abandoning the city but he wants THIS reality!!#THIS is the version of his life that has Carlos and Janice and all his other precious memories in it...!!! GUH#I'm losing my everloving mind over the last few episodes if you couldn't tell#and the next one's title. god. GOD. and he opens the announcements by saying 'hey if you're new maybe dont start with this one' which is 8^)
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‘all my problems would be fixed if i had somebody to love.’ well as much as i believe that love is the answer, ENDEAVOUR TO LIVE MORE LOVINGLY AND PEOPLE WILL FLOCK TO YOU WITH LOVE SITTING WARM IN THE PALM OF THEIR HAND!
#i think i pin a lot of my hope for a better life on singular 'fixable' issues. such as having a romantic partner or losing#weight or academic success.#and i've come to the conclusion that if i put more effort into making things better for me personally (and for no one else) then love will#gravitate to me regardless. not in the more superficial sense that i was hinging my optimism on#but more in the sense of putting greater intention into my mental and physical health#and into my relationships with close friends and family#and generally (as i was recently advised) not just letting life happen to me.#i think taking charge of my life and attempting to influence it's direction to a place that makes me personally happier will naturally#attract more love along the way.#<3
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