#diomedes x penelope

[little-cereal-draws]

Odysseus: what would I not give to be the filling of a Diomedes-Penelope sandwich... *siiiigh*

[tagzpite]

New items available!!! Shirts, coasters and prints too ! >:3 

Unfortunately Hermes is currently under review because of some brand 💀😒 I shall inform when he and the full sheet are available!

[simoondraws]

Why choose when you can have it all

[pendrakonsposts]

Diomedes: That's Odysseus, cleverest of the greeks. He's probably concocting a wicked plan right now.

Odysseus *internally*: Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Pen-

[shwoooops]

Someone should write something where it's the Greek heroes from the Iliad watching odysseus during the odyssey from the afterlife. like achilles and company just being like yea fuck that guy up man. u got that. or he's crying over missing penelope and telemachus and they just feel bad for him or smth.

could also be them all listening/watching the epic songs/animatics 🦭

(even tho a lot of them don't die it's a fun idea in theory)

[emmikay]

Penelope: (gets a text message)

Odysseus: (through text) My love, I am intoxicated.

(5 minutes later)

Diomedes: (sends Penelope a picture of Odysseus passed out, phone in hand, zoomed in on one of her selfies)

[miyetko]

old OdyDioPen art that I don’t like that much but I want to rant about Diomedes and they way that others write about him because YOU ALL JUST DON’T KNOW HIM LIKE I DO OKAY

okay so I actually despise when people write OdyDio and make Diomedes hate Penelope. I’m (hate reading) re-reading The Song of Achilles and Miller kind of hints at OdyDio a little, but every time Odysseus brings up Penelope, Diomedes gets really bitchy like “shut up we don’t want hear another story about your wife” and it’s more used a representation of how he hates Aegiale but I still don’t like it.

Dio fucking loves Penelope and no one will convince me other wise

there was a lot of time between when Diomedes got to Ithaca (after being exiled from Argos) and when Odysseus gets back. I especially love the idea that Pen and Dio get fake married to detract some of the suitors, or at the very least, Dio hangs around the palace to make sure no one’s bothering her and Telemachus.

…and maybe when Odysseus gets back everybody gets not fake married… idk…

[deathnguts]

Thinking about the AU where Diomedes takes care of Penelope while Odyseuss is gone and how he probably would have taken care of Telemachus too and taught him all the things his real father couldn’t so the boy wouldn’t grow up without guidance as a man. Thinking about a young Telemachus thinking of his father and not being able to match the story with a face for his whole life and then guilty beyond repair when that face starts to be Diomedes.

[backpackingspace]

My hot take is that Penelope does not call odysseus baby girl. They are too evenly matched in my head for that. DIOMEDES HOWEVER

[little-cereal-draws]

These three because I love this ship so much

*Penelope and Diomedes flirting with each other yet again* Odysseus: And you two are sure you're not dating? Penelope: 100%. Diomedes: Of course not! Why would you think that? Odysseus: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Diomedes. I fucking wonder.

-

Diomedes: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Diomedes: Penelope is still mad about it, but me and Odysseus were drunk and thought it was funny. -

Odysseus: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Penelope: Yes? Odysseus: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Penelope: Fuck. Odysseus: It's gonna be a fun week! Penelope: I'm going to Diomedes's house. Odysseus: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker. -

Penelope: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Diomedes: It’s my turn to cuddle Odysseus. Penelope: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT! -

Diomedes: H-how do you ask someone out? Odysseus: Well, first- Penelope: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Diomedes: ...And you said yes? -

*Odysseus is telling a story* Penelope: Wow, Odysseus, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! Diomedes: Romance? Penelope: I'm in love with him. -

Penelope, holding a rock: Diomedes just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock". Odysseus: If you don't marry him, I will. -

Diomedes: It's pretty cold outside... wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Odysseus, blushing: Okay. Penelope: It's fucking summer. -

Odysseus: If I say I love you, will you say it back? Diomedes: Yes. Odysseus: I love you. Diomedes: It back. *Later* Penelope: Why is Odysseus crying face-down on the floor? -

Penelope: Ooh, somebody has a crush Odysseus: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Diomedes. I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him. *Later that night* Odysseus, very much awake: Uh oh. -

Penelope: Did Diomedes just tell me he loved me for the first time? Odysseus: Yeah, he did. Penelope: And did I just do finger guns back? Odysseus: Yeah, you did. -

Penelope: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Diomedes. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Diomedes! Odysseus: Nope. Penelope: In that case, as the archbishop of Odysseus's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Diomedes right on the lips!!! -

Odysseus: Thank you all for coming. Penelope, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. Odysseus: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Odysseus Task Force". Diomedes: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way. -

Odysseus: *looking through his closet* Has anyone seen my top? Diomedes: Penelope’s in the kitchen. -

Diomedes: *sucking on a popsicle* Penelope: Pfft, you practicing for when Odysseus gets here? Diomedes: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle* Penelope: *Concern* -

Diomedes: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Odysseus: Like its slips on and off really easily. Diomedes: Odysseus: No, I didn't mean it like that- Penelope: We know what you meant. -

Penelope: Can you please just apologize to Diomedes? Odysseus: Fine, but I have to warn you that this may make me a nicer, better person and that is not who you feel in love with. -

Diomedes: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Odysseus: I’m “a couple of things”. Penelope: I’m “got distracted”. *Penelope and Odysseus high five* -

Penelope: That shirt looks great, Odysseus. Odysseus: Thanks. Penelope: But I bet it would look even better on Diomedes's floor. Diomedes: Are you hitting on Odysseus... for me? -

Diomedes: Hey, Odysseus? Can I get some dating advice? Odysseus: Just because I'm with Penelope doesn't mean I know how I did it.

[tagzpite]

new stickers up on my shop!!!

[leynaeithnea]

How I imagine OdyDio to work out (based off of @akaittou s "Hold to your Vows)

Dio: I dont want to make you break your wedding vows-

Ody: My wife gave me leave to get fuck who I want to

Dio: Rly?

Ody: Yeah.

Dio: Oh good for m-

Ody: I never fucked a man though

Dio: ...Thats bullshit

Ody: Yeah youre right

Dio: So...who was it?

Ody: ....

Dio: 🤨

Ody: .......listen-

Dio: Ody-

Ody: ...

Dio: ...

Ody: Meneleaus

Dio: Oh, that's not sur-

Ody: ...and Agamemnon

Dio: What.

Ody: ...

Dio: Together?

Ody: ....

Dio: Oh...oh gods

[simoondraws]

Silly kids 😌

[incorrecthomer]

Diomedes sitting on a couch with his arms crossed: So I've seen that you've been spending a lot of time with Penelope lately. Odysseus: Wait no dude it's not what it looks like I swear Diomedes: Oh really? So theres no reason for me to be jealous? Odysseus: No! You're the only one for me Diomedes: Is that so? Odysseus: I promise! Penelope and I are just dating, ok? Diomedes: so there's no rivalry-friendship feelings involved? Odysseus: you are still my only Rival. She's just the best thing that's happened to me. Nothing more Diomedes: but I'm the best Rival to have happened to you right? Odysseus: Of course! Penelope just watching all of this go down: What the fuck

[under-a-shady-ash-tree]

I would like to announce that odydio and odypendio have taken over my mind

They mean everything to me

[eternalera]

diomedes and odysseus are the type of people to always end up being either way too close to going to jail or actually in jail when penelope has to go their and bust their dumbasses out