#diogenes does a thing

[swamplatibule]

I decided to make a uquiz involving all (and I mean ALL) of my paracosms and I am beginning to um. Regret <3

It’s not even done yet aghh.

[torchickentacos]

hiiiiiiii happy cs day. i have not had my computer pen for literally the entire week so i've got ✨nothing✨ today, literally just started the sketch/planning stage bc I just got home not long ago BUT!!! Flygon with longer velociraptor legs, my BELOVED.

[gemsofgreece]

Origins of Modern Greek folk sayings

NOTE: By "origins" here I do not mean absolute exact origin as this would be impossible to know. It rather signifies the likely first documented usage of the saying in the Greek literary heritage.

Ένα χελιδόνι (ή ένας κούκος) δεν φέρνει την άνοιξη. Meaning: A single swallow (or a single cuckoo) does not bring the spring. This is where the english idiom "one swallow does not a summer make" come from as well. Origin: Μία χελιδὼν ἔαρ οὐ ποιεἶ ( A single swallow does not create the spring) - Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle (384 - 322 BC). Aristotle said this phrase inspired by one of Aesop's tales (620 - 564 BC).

Το ένα χέρι νίβει το άλλο. Meaning: Each hand washes the other. It exists in English as well as in other languages, spread through Latin "Manus manam lavat". Origin: ἁ δὲ χεὶρ τὰν χεῖρα νίζει - Epicharmus, 5th century BC.

Ό,τι σπείρει�� θα θερίσεις. Meaning: You will reap what you sow. Widespread proverb. Origin: Εί κακά τις σπείραι κακά κέρδια αμήσειν (If one sows bad things, he will reap bad things) - Hesiod (~ 750 - 650 BC).

Κάλλιο να σε ζηλεύουνε παρά να σε λυπούνται Meaning: It's better to be envied than to be pitied by others. Origin: κρέσσον γὰρ οἰκτιρμοῦ φθόνος (for envy is better than pity) - Pindar, (~ 518 –  438 BC).

Έπαθε και έμαθε Meaning: He suffered so he learned Origin: τὸν πάθει μάθος (the suffering becomes a lesson) - Aeschylus (~ 525 - 455 BC)

Μη με συγχίζεις Meaning: Don't confound me, meaning "don't make me upset" Origin: μή μοι σύγχει - Homer (8th century BC)

Μη με σκοτίζεις Meaning: "Don't put me in the dark" meaning "don't annoy / bother me" Origin: Αποσκότησον με ("Get me out of the dark" AKA the notorious "Don't hide the sun and gtfo" line) - Diogenes to Alexander the Great

βίος αβίωτος Meaning: "Unlivable life", unbearable life Origin: Ἀβίωτον ζῶμεν βίον (We live an unlivable life) - Philemon (362 BC – c. 262 BC)

Ἐχει και του πουλιού το γάλα Meaning: "It even has the bird's milk" meaning it has anything you can imagine Origin: δώσομεν ὑμῖν γάλα τ᾽ ὀρνίθων (We will give you even the milk of birds / hens) - Aristophanes (446 - 386 BC)

Άει στον κόρακα Meaning: Go to the crow, an equivalent of "go to hell" Origin: ἔρρʼ ἐς κόρακας! (go to the crows) - standard phrase, frequently used by Aristophanes

Κάθε αρχή και δύσκολη Meaning: Every beginning is also difficult Origin: Αρχή δήπου παντός έργου χαλεπωτέρα (the beginning of every project is the hardest) - ancient saying

Η αλήθεια είναι πικρή Meaning: Truth is bitter Origin: ἔχει τι πικρὸν ὁ τῆς ἀληθείας λόγος (there is something bitter in the words of truth) - Demades (380 - 318 BC)

Η αλήθεια δεν κρύβεται Meaning: Truth cannot be hidden Origin: Ἀδύνατον τ' ἀληθές λαθεῖν (It is impossible to hide the true thing) - Menander (342 - 291 BC)

Φοβάται και την σκιά του Meaning: He's even afraid of his shadow (used when someone is afraid all the time) Origin: τὴν αὐτοῦ σκιὰν δέδοικεν (he's afraid of his own shadow) - Aristophanes (446 - 386 BC)

Καμιά δουλειά δεν είναι ντροπή Meaning: No job is shameful Origin: Έργον δ' ουδέν όνειδος - Hesiod (~ 750 - 650 BC)

Χτίζεις στην άμμο Meaning: You build in the sand, meaning you're doing something pointless, that will be ruined or over very soon. Origin: Εἰς ψάμμον οἰκοδομεῖς - Plutarch (46 - 119 AD)

[mythologyolympics]

Ancient World Dashboard Simulator

🐢 aristotlestortoise Follow

I'm so sick of these philosophers waving dead chickens around to prove their point like that's not contributing to unnecessary food waste when children are starving in Gaul

🦷 diogenessimp Follow

and who says they didn't eat the chicken afterwards you presumptuous garum sipper

besides how would that benefit a starving child in gaul diogenes did that in athens thats like 6000 stadia away from gaul

🐢 aristotlestortoise Follow

As if donating a day-old chicken that had been used as a prop isn't a hazard for food poisoning or something geez

How about you bring in a live chicken and demonstrate your point with that and then donate it to a godsdamned farmer who can do something with it

🦷 diogenessimp Follow

look neither of us understands diogenes whole school of thought as well as he does and if he thinks using poultry for props is the best choice then imma trust he knows what he's talking about

🦣 giantwoolybones

do you guys know that you are arguing about a dead chicken

24,874 notes

👨‍👦 corophilus

not to be an art critic on main or anything but has this sculptor ever heard of a dynamic pose

#a boy this age would be moving!!

3 Notes

✊ p-o-p-u-l-a-r-i-s Follow

The people just don't seem to care about how Caligula keeps beginning new construction projects with public funds. People are homeless and starving and he puts up a new theater in the middle of the city as if we need that.

Now he's claiming to be a god?? Plus there's rumors he has sex with his horse.

It's very important that you contact the members of the senate to let them know the people are ready to rise up if they don't depose Caligula. We should get organized and flood the streets.

🎽 crixusstan

I see you not reblogging this. Come on, this should have 200k notes

14,381 Notes

💸 achaemenid Follow

Dude, this invention of the coin is so iconic. Cyrus is gonna go down in history for this one. I mean that in a good way.

🪙 lydianmetallurgy Follow

Sorry but Cyrus stole the entire concept of the coin from us and I'm sick of people acting like we didn't have contributions to make to advancements in science and culture just because we were conquered by your stupid empire. Cyrus is a tyrant and just wants to gather as much power as he can.

🦁 daniyye

Cyrus let my people go back to our homeland, so he's all right by me

#by the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion #now we don't have to do that anymore!!

18 Notes

🥇 gladiatorheadtohead Follow

Remember, you're voting for who you think would win the fight, not who you like the best.

24 Notes

🐺 lyca

just left my den and there's just 2 human babies lying on the ground all alone

wtf do i do

🐺 lyca

so i happen to already be lactating so i guess... i just have 2 more cubs now?

🐺 lyca

guys these babies are so cute. i think they're going to do great things one day

#personal #do not reblog i mean it this time 6 Notes

🍆 miletus-leather Follow

The best sex toy shop in Miletus. Come see our selection!

🦌 artemisbow Follow

I'm not one to harsh on a small business trying to make it but I've been to this shop and women are an afterthought here. You'd think the only people interested in dildos were men the way they act here.

🍆 miletus-leather Follow

Women should be weaving and taking care of their children, not coming into our sex shop.

😈 hermescock Follow

K

🐐 blessedsatir

U

64 Notes

[sunderingstars]

.✦ ── ✦.

mr. cold feet’s pop-up shop

.✦ ── ✦.

what the stars reveal: interpretative analysis, theory crafting, elation!sampo, sampo!sampo (??), lil bit of emanator!sampo & doll!sampo sprinkled in, list format turned waxing poetic, (as always), general befuddlement, op literally trying to think their way out of a paper bag, hijacked by mundanite assembly halfway through, yap class is now in session

word count: 13.5k 😀

overview: (as of 2.6) summarizing my thoughts on all seven days of sampo’s new shop event! i know i said i was “done” with sampo analysis but… i must…… talk about shiny new event………

sampo analysis masterlist

.✦ ── ✦.

My Main Takeaways

.✦ ── ✦.

— Each Curio exchange is potentially a chronology of his existence, beginning as a conceptual something floating out in the ether, then being “created,” caught, or tethered to a specific form, all the way through his experiences with Aha and the Elation.

— Otherwise, I feel these “Curios” may be stand-ins for things he has created himself or been in the vicinity of at some point. In some way, they likely say something specific about his identity and backstory.

— Mentions of both “Diogenes” and “Icarus” link him to other forms of mythology.

— Sampo does not make money from this event; instead, we the player and Trailblazer do (similar to his mythological function).

— Mentions of the Tavern and several specifically Elation-aligned factions or beings.

— Doubling down on the function of the mythological Sampo and its narrative, including lines from the Kalevala itself!

— These different Curios, if not chronological, may instead be alluding to Aha’s “collection” of masks and items seen in Their splash art. this would place Sampo closer in proximity to Aha Themself, if not being Them, since he would be in the position of the one “collecting” or marketing these items. There is also a chance that Sampo, as per his function, was used by Aha to create the equivalent of these Curios, putting him in that strange “creator but also created” purgatory!

— (The name of the event also emphasizes the “Mr. Cold Feet” moniker, which I’ve talked about in my “Notable Topics” post as being synonymous with his uncanny ability to back out and rethink things he doesn’t want to be a part of. The “pop-up shop” itself is also temporary, which may be hinting at the fact that his identity as Sampo on Belobog may, itself, be a kind of temporary “pop-up event” in the grand scheme of his life.)

— Most confusing conversations and backtracking could be explained by Aha’s “secret” and the idea Sampo can’t say certain things about his identity. Thus, he may have to abruptly distance himself from the Curios in conversation if he feels he’s getting too close to “revealing the truth.”

— The event itself might also be a cry for help to us, the player; maybe he knows there are some things we understand that the Trailblazer doesn’t, such as the names of the achievements on the processing screen. He is trying his best to reach somebody :((

— Every day has two phrases repeated in the flavor text for each Curio: “One-of-a-Kind Curio” and “Collectible and Value-Preserving.” I have a feeling these lines not only refer to the literal objects involved, but Sampo himself. This falls in line with Doll Theory quite well (as Sampo being yet another doll would place him as “collectible” but his potential Emanator or favored status within the Elation could market him as being “one-of-a-kind,” likely due to his Sampo-like nature of being “value-preserving”), but it could also mean any number of things, from a purely Emanator!Sampo to Sampo who was created by a being other than Aha — anything that positions him as “valuable” or akin to an object himself is viable for this interpretation.

— Additionally, I’m not sure how his mask factors into all this — it’s a bit unclear if he even has it back yet, and I can’t find anything in the event that might allude to it. Masks don’t seem to be explicitly mentioned in any way; it must be important to him, so it’s a bit of a head scratcher as to why he doesn’t seem to be talking about it (aside from the whole “secret” thing). If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to let me know, I’d love to hear them!

— Despite the length of this analysis, it’s by no means meant to cover every single possibility; so much of Sampo’s character is up to interpretation, so the theory scene is wide open. I’d love to hear any alternate interpretations you guys have in the comments/reblogs!

Update: Due to new information gleaned from Mundanite Assembly (Unknowable Domain), I believe the pop-up event can have an extra chronological interpretation — Sampo as an elemental force drifting through the ether before being captured and harnessed into a singular form (likely mechanical in nature), then used for increasingly dangerous experiments before, through a series of honestly exhaustive events, finding himself puppeted around for a joke at the Tavern.

I do believe this only leads up to day four or five of the pop-up shop, with days six and seven being interpretative of the time after. (And what Sampo is doing now in the present day, trying to figure out the key to his existence and his past.) This is a tentative theory, but I still wanted to include it. I’ll link my Mundanite Assembly analysis here when I post it!

Another Update: While some of this pop-up event may be referencing events in Mundanite Assembly like day three and its themes of being “stolen from the heavens,” I also think some of it, like the references to toys and especially the last day of trying to understand “past and present lives,” are meant to symbolize recent events, such as his experiences with Elation and his current situation. There’s the possibility that Doll theories and Emanator theories would work in this “gap” — or the time between the end of “Windup World” (around day four) and the “present” (day seven).

When talking about Mundanite Assembly, I will be operating under the assumption that the “you” perspective is Sampo, and addressing him accordingly.

.✦ ── ✦.

Day 1

.✦ ── ✦.

— He “missed us dearly,” which is really sweet! :,)

— He immediately addresses himself as “Old Sampo,” bringing both his name and its associations to the forefront before specifically introducing us to something that “won’t make money” — aka something that we will profit off of and he “won’t,” turning our basic items into rewards like his mythological counterpart.

— He also links this venture to the idea of “fun,” putting his pursuits in the orbit of Elation. I’m inclined to take his word on it, which brings up the question: How does he feel about his “function”? It’s something he seems to be aware of, but is it something he enjoys? Did he give himself the name “Sampo” simply because of what he likes to do, or was it always an immutable part of him, some unavoidable truth he attempts to claim as his own — to exercise his own kind of “Elation” alongside it — so that it wears on him less? Basically, what came first: the name or the action? Is he Sampo because he produces wealth, or does he produce wealth because he is Sampo? Interesting stuff to think about!

— He was lonely… :(((((((((((

— This does put his trip to Penacony in perspective, though: if we assume he’s telling the truth (or at least part of it) here, then his run-ins with certain characters make more sense. He may have used getting his mask back as both a way to accomplish a goal (helping Belobog) and to speak to someone he maybe hadn’t spoken to in a while. Although Sampo does seem to be exasperated by Sparkle and the rest of the Fools quite often, he also seems to harbor a sort of fondness for them. There’s also the possibility he knows other people on Penacony that he wanted to talk to.

— Boothill’s Emanator run-in is also looking more viable here, as a genuinely “lonely” Sampo feels like more of a recipe for a drunken confession of identity! In fact, with some of my interpretations from this event, I could see Sampo and Boothill having quite a bit in common, especially in the vein of just wanting someone to have a good drink with and genuinely talk to.

— Sampo & Boothill underrated friendship for the win! 💪

— I feel like his talk of the meme crate is twofold: one, it is a very real item, and two, it may also be something he uses as a way to talk about himself in a roundabout way, much like the Curios during the rest of the event.

— The timeframe of “eight years” gives us a good benchmark; we now know he’s been on Belobog for at least eight years, and the way he references the crate as being “hidden right here in the Belobogian snow fields!” (coincidentally right where we first meet him in the game) can also be interpreted as a reference to himself. Both he and the crate have been here for at least eight years, with Sampo likely being here longer and simply finding the crate eight years ago. Both he and the crate are implied to have been “hiding in plain sight,” so to speak, and the way he backtracks to ask “so how many years would it be now?” makes me think he really is referring to himself. To me, it very much reads as a genuine attempt to remember how long he’s been on Belobog exactly.

— It also almost implies that for much of that time, Sampo wasn’t near civilization, or at least a part of it. There’s a lonely quality to the crate being left out in those fields all alone for so long, and if it’s meant to mirror Sampo’s journey there’s a chance he was out there all alone for some time as well. :((

— Also, the “meme crate” is specific, and may be alluding to Sampo himself as a creation or otherwise “memetic” entity (which honestly, branches off into a lot of different possibilities).

— Additionally, when he says “after Jarilo-VI returned to the silver rail, I got to know several friends beyond the sky” it seems to have a… weird quality to it. It might just be me, but I feel like this is one of his signature “technically true but not quite” lines — the implication for the Trailblazer is that, just like everyone else on Jarilo-VI, Sampo did not have access at all beyond the planet, and so once that access was gained he began connecting with the rest of the universe like everyone else. However, Sampo doesn’t specify this. He doesn’t say he made his first friends beyond the sky, he doesn’t say he rejoined the universe like everyone else. He words it in a way that isn’t technically dishonest, but that carefully leaves out key details — Jarilo-VI returned to the silver rail, not him; he made several friends beyond the sky, but he doesn’t mention whether he already had other friends out there, or if he was simply reconnecting with former acquaintances. It feels very intentional, and man do I find it interesting! 

— Again, we get some pretty heavy references to the mythological Sampo, with him detailing how he won’t make any money from the event but it will be a “golden money-making opportunity” for us. Here, he doesn’t seem discontented with what he’s doing — in fact, he proposes the idea to us. Aside from the fact he may have to carry out these kinds of transactions to survive or stay alive, it really does come across as something he wants to do — or at least is okay with doing — than something he dislikes. (Or maybe we’re just special and he likes us!)

— Lastly, when he mentions “the tiring, dirty work will be outsourced to robots” I’m not super sure how to feel. On one hand, he could be speaking as a creation himself, ironically going further down the ladder to use those below him as a means to accomplish what he accomplishes for whoever is above him; this would fit with the “dual” nature of many of his remarks, as I do think many of them don’t just refer to what he’s talking about, but also himself. On the other hand, he could simply be speaking from the perspective of a creator, of someone who doesn’t necessarily have a similar function to the robots but just… wants them to take care of things for him. 

— It could even be both if we’re talking about Emanator!Sampo, stuck in this purgatory between using others and being used. Perhaps he is in the “creator” role overseeing these robots while also being in the “created” role under an Aeon at the same time.

— I also feel like this might be a reference to Aha Stuffed Toys — I’ve made a few connections before between the idea of “mass-produced” dolls or playthings from the Aha Stuffed Toy occurrence and the “intact masks” from the Ship of Fools occurrence. If these dolls and masks are one and the same, then the robots Sampo mentions here fill a similar role to the stuffed toys: doing the work Aha doesn’t want to do, taking the brunt of pain and effort so another doesn’t have to.

— We start off with wind, Sampo’s signature element (very fitting!).

— “The Fluid, the Myth, the Legend” is a fun twist on “the man, the myth, the legend” that takes a specific approach to setting Sampo apart from the idea of “man” or any other solidly definable means of mortality. It also gives him a somewhat mysterious, godlike quality, as “myths” and “legends” often have to do with those who are powerful or divine. Also, it’s a nice reference to the mythological Sampo!

— If we take this to have a double meaning for his identity, then the name may be alluding to either his “core” or “base trait” — like the fluidity of a higher being, his element of wind, or even the intangible concept of Elation — or a more literal time in chronology where he was not yet made into form.

— “Give yourself the chance to experience the wonders of controlling an ideal fluid” may point towards his backstory, with something or someone potentially trying to “control” him in his more fluid or conceptual state. Since it’s followed up by a “(Just kidding!)” it seems this attempt at control may not have been successful, or it may just be another way for Sampo to get his Elation in through the event!

— On the Aha side of things, this “fluid” could be a reference to someone or something that is part of Aha’s collection. For this, either Sampo would have to be Aha or part of them somehow, or simply used by Them to create these things!

— I also like how Sampo tries to talk Silver Wolf down from leaving a negative review — although it does seem a bit desperate at the end? If Sampo’s function is being a businessman in a specifically mythologically-relevant niche, then perhaps negative reviews have some kind of deeper effect on him, anywhere from mild discomfort or unease to even pain. Or not, and he just wants his stuff to sell!

— He also gives us a joke afterwards, and even though he says “it’s just a joke,” I feel like it might mean something more. As much as Sampo aligns himself with the Elation, he also has nuanced opinions about it, the kind that go far beyond making simple Masked-Fools-type jokes.

— Even if the “joke” itself is absurd, I still feel like it points towards something about him as a character. “The world brims with narcissistic wisdom. Only a fool knows that they’re all a joke.”

— We can take this two ways: one, Sampo is recounting a joke he’s heard (likely from the Masked Fools) but doesn’t agree with, and two, Sampo is telling a joke he does agree with.

— If he doesn’t agree, he may be trying to put a sort of ironic twist on the way the Fools view things; he recounts the joke to us and says “it’s just a joke” when we express confusion to highlight how contradictory the Fools are — it’s not just that they like telling jokes, but (as Sampo mentions later in the event), they only seem to care about themselves and their own laughter, not the enjoyment or understanding of others.

— If he does agree with the joke, he’s at least expressing a deeper sense of absurdism, something picked up from his time with the Elation that likely offsets despair or pure Nihility when it threatens to consume him. It also reminds me of how close the Elation and Nihility are in concept; the main distinguishing factor is their presentation. (Perhaps Sampo, as someone aligned with both Paths, is trying to express this as well.)

— Or, it’s like he says, and it really is all just a joke. You never can tell with this man!

— Also, his little box is really cute! It’s color-coordinated with a signature rose and even a sticker of Gepard’s drawing! I’m just very emotional about this. He made it his own. ♡

.✦ ── ✦.

Day 2

.✦ ── ✦.

— Specific mention of “meme catalysis” — yet another reference to memes and intangible or created beings.

— “A fire that provokes profundity” is a very specific phrase as well; I’ve already made some speculation as to his relationship with Erudition, since it seems to pop up quite a bit in his related Simulated Universe occurrences (and to be honest, this new Unknowable Domain content has made me do a double take with how much experimentation and creation is going on in the search for knowledge). I feel like, if this is meant to say something about his identity, this phrase would put Sampo in orbit with the Erudition, since it directly contains a reference to gaining knowledge.

— (Note: “Liquid Flame” reminds me of “Dousing Flames” from Mundanite Assembly!)

— “Liquid Flame in Void” carries across similar ideas as the last day — immateriality and pure substance — although this time it is beginning to occupy a more specific niche. Instead of a mythological “fluid,” we have now stepped into “liquid flame,” something more specific in both name and place. No longer is it vaguely floating in the ether, but it directly resides in the “void.” Overall, it’s a more vivid picture than the last.

— Chronologically, I would interpret this as Sampo’s more “ethereal” and original form (whether Aeonic, elemental, or conceptual in nature) growing more distinct, leaving behind his formless existence to become something… more.

— Additionally, despite the reference to knowledge (and by extension, Erudition) earlier, this feels much more Nihility-aligned to me. “If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you” feels like a direct reference to the abyss of IX, although i’m not sure if IX is the type to “gaze” at all.

— (It also links to “Dousing Flames (II),” where the imagery surrounding the Perpetual Motion Project very much reminds me of IX’s Nihility “boundary” (as seen in Acheron’s burst).)

— This could mean several things to me: one, it could simply be alluding to Sampo’s affiliation with Nihility since that is his playable Path; two, it could be indicative of a chronological time where he was alone, abandoned, or hopeless, simply left to stare into a void until he gained some sort of enlightenment (Path-related or otherwise) — for Doll!Sampo or other creation theories, this would likely be when he was physically abandoned on Belobog for a long time; three, it could be another reference to one of Aha’s “collectibles” They or Sampo made; or four, it could be link to some sort of “origin” for Sampo within space, where his slowly-forming self had nothing but the void for company. Or, hell, it could even be some combination of all four!

— “(There is no such function!)” feels contradictory, but that seems to be a running theme so far. All of the parenthesis are Elation-aligned jokes, which may or may not be true. In fact, they may only even be there to mess with us!

— Sampo also seems to refer to something specific in his comment — “there are all kinds of Curios out there,” mirroring both the variety of event items and Aha’s own collection, and “even a bag of trash can have its own unique shine,” which feels like it’s about him specifically. While Belobog itself surely qualifies for these statements as well, it seems that Sampo may be referring to himself from two steps and a third-person point of view away (as he so often loves to do). In this case, “all kinds of Curios” could be a reference to Aha’s splash art collection (and the “collection” of potential dolls in Ship of Fools) and the “bag of trash” could be a reference to Sampo’s specific position within that collection.

— Generally, I take this to mean Sampo is speaking about how he, despite being abandoned or otherwise considered “trash,” has found himself in a collection where he has his own “unique value.” In this case, him being in the proximity of Aha may have a silver lining or even wholesome implication — despite looking into the void, despite being discarded or seen as waste, there was at least one being in the universe who looked upon him and, devoid of shallow pity, saw the value at the core of his being. While it’s possible there may still be a twisted, cruel sort of irony going on, there’s also just as much of a chance that Aha or the Fools have nurtured Sampo in a way he never has been before.

A Note:

— As you may have noticed, I’ve already started to amend my timeline a bit — for those who have read my other posts, especially Doll Theory, I posited Sampo as having a “creation to abandonment to hatred” timeline, but after this event I feel there are some additions and changes to be made.

— If the items in this event are to be taken chronologically, then it’s likely Sampo had a period of “manifestation” or formless existence, then isolation or abandonment, then being stolen or trapped, then created and used before eventually endeavoring to find out, put simply, what the hell is going on.

— It’s possible that I’m misreading the items in the event and they aren’t meant to symbolize Sampo at all, but a few things like being “stolen” line up neatly with Sampo’s mythological counterpart, so I’m willing to consider it an option.

— Moving forward, Sampo says a few key phrases, namely “red and fiery” and “a lucky portent” — the red matches with his jacket color, fiery may allude to his temperament (as mentioned through his “hot-blooded past” later in the event) or even a specific state of being (fire, elemental, combustible, etc.), and “a lucky portent” relates to his function as the Sampo, bestowing wealth and, in a way, “luck” onto others.

— Additionally, if we are considering that Aha may be the one “stealing” Sampo (it certainly lines up with Their personality), this may reference the Aeon Themself scoping out candidates for a pet project or joke, where they are then intrigued by Sampo. “Portent” also ties in to the kind of “butterfly effect” way Aha operates, and they may have seen something greater within Sampo that he himself hadn’t seen. Either way, yoink!

— Next, Sampo directly mentions the Tavern — a shorthand way of referring to the World’s End Tavern operated by the Masked Fools — and surprisingly enough, links it specifically to the idea of storytelling. We get some good tidbits, like the fact he isn’t “all-knowing,” and that there are many stories that would be inconvenient to share.

— On one hand, this implies that whoever Sampo may be (whether he is an Aeon, an Emanator, or some non-mortal third option), he has blind spots. Depending on who exactly he is, this has different implications — for example, an Aeonic Sampo would basically be admitting Aeons (in general, since Nous is probably an exception) don’t know everything despite being at the top of the food chain, meaning they are still fallible; outsmarting them is near impossible but not entirely. Meanwhile, other Sampos may be trying to convey that although they are old and experienced and powerful, they aren’t the answer to everything; there are some things we still need to figure out ourselves.

— Additionally, the aspect of “convenience” could go several ways for me. Either he is genuinely so powerful that he can’t be bothered to tell us everything, he has knowledge of future events and doesn’t want to mess them up, or there is some sort of power above or within him that creates limitations — i.e. “inconveniences” — if he says certain things. Going back to some doll speculation and the idea of a “secret only Aha knows,” there’s a possibility that Sampo mentioning convenience is just a light way of alluding to the fact he can’t say or do certain things, either out of pure inability or the fear of what will happen to him if he does.

— Also, there’s the possibility he did some really fucked up stuff in his past and he doesn’t want to ruin his reputation with us, LOL.

— He mentions how the Tavern has a penchant for stories as well — especially how they “actively” seek those people out and how, apparently, the Trailblazer would be a prime candidate for the Elation in this regard. Beyond the fact this is another little hint at how the Elation (and Aha) tends to take a liking to the Trailblaze (and the Trailblazer), it also may say a little bit about how Sampo came to be there. Setting aside any kind of “stealing” or affiliation with Aha Themself, the Masked Fools tend to actively send invitations to those whose lives they find “interesting” — it’s possible that Sampo found himself the recipient of one of these invitations even if he was already with the Elation, as whatever his backstory is, I’m sure it’s going to be damn interesting!

— The last little bit of Sampo’s dialogue on day two focuses on the idea of “place,” namely the transporting and selling of goods from one place to another. Similarly to the “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” idea going on in the liquid flame comments, there’s the implication here that items, goods, and potentially Sampo himself are all victims of circumstance — just because an item (or Sampo himself) may be considered useless or “trash” in one place, there are many other places that would consider it valuable.

— It also places Sampo as a “go-between,” neither created nor creator but simply a middleman ferrying all these things between places. It lines up a bit with the idea that Sampo, although potentially being stolen or taken by Aha, eventually found himself in a space where he had the freedom to move things from place to place rather than being the one being moved.

— Again with the reference to a “meme”… Sampo what are you trying to tell us…….

.✦ ── ✦.

Day 3

.✦ ── ✦.

— This seems as good a place as any to talk about the phrases that show up when you submit items!

— One: Cute little emoticons, kinda tech-aligned like Curio Hacker. All in all, a nice little touch!

— Two: “Cool Guys.” May be a simple indication of how Sampo tries to come across as a “cool guy” in most of our interactions, but could also be a reference to the achievement “Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions,” when you clear Simulated Universe with ten or more Blessings of Destruction. Since the text is cut off so early, I’m not sure if the achievement is actually meant to be referenced here, and admittedly the Destruction doesn’t quite fit in with everything Sampo-aligned so far. However, it could be a link to Sampo’s red, fiery, “hot-blooded” past, or to his “breaking” or destruction in mythology. Additionally, maybe the “hate” behind the “love” could also lead to Destruction. (Plus, the Clown’s Item “Cloud of Doubt” does have a door on fire….)

— Three: “Take It Easy, Icarus” is especially notable because it appears repeatedly in the flash of words. For one, it references an achievement of the same name where you fly a cycrane to “test the limits of its remote control range”. This seems directly Doll!Sampo-related — or at least Creation!Sampo-related — since the entire idea of the achievement is taking an automated object and setting it loose to see “just how far it can go”. Additionally, the “remote control range” sounds very similar to the idea of Aha “not being involved in the quality control process” when it comes to stuffed toys. It’s possible that Aha, either creating Sampo Themself or stealing him from another creator, set him loose upon the universe to see just how far he could go, just how far he could advance his awareness beyond what he was created to be. However, much like the cycrane, there is always an invisible wall to hit. (The achievement is also in the “Fathom the Unfathomable” category, which feels Erudition-aligned.)

— Additionally, the mention of “Icarus” himself creates a link to Greek mythology, with the implication being that Sampo may fill similar themes to this figure, like “over-ambition,” “alienation,” “impulsivity,” and “the consequences of breaking boundaries”. It’s also possible that Sampo, in his attempt to reveal the “truth” or manage the “hate” inside himself, may be flying too close to the sun when it comes to enemies — or “prey” — he sets his sights on. (i.e. if he is angry at a specific Aeon, even Aha Themself, he may be biting off a bit more than he can chew by setting them in his sights.)

— The mention of Icarus could be a kind of warning as well; an indication of someone, perhaps Sparkle or Boothill or a different person, trying to remind Sampo of how dangerous impulsivity and setting his sights too high can be. I can just see Boothill saying something like “take it easy, Icarus” to Sampo over drinks after Sampo explains what he’s planning.

— Four: “This must be a trap crea…” — my best guess is that this is meant to say something like “This must be a trap created by…” or something along those lines. I feel like this might also be a reference to something else in-game, but after searching through the wiki I just couldn’t find anything matching this specific wording. While it does link to Sampo’s “Trap” ability — something both relevant and pertinent to the discussion — I’m afraid the text for this phrase is too cut off to meaningfully find any reference (at least for me). :(

— However, the general idea of “this must be a trap” seems like it could be a part of Sampo’s inner monologue or general feelings about his situation. Perhaps he has misgivings about his affiliation with the Fools, Aha, or the Elation in general, or he could be referring to some other event in his backstory. Maybe it has something to do with “betrayal” or “abandonment,” or perhaps it’s simply what others think of him when they see him. Either way, the idea of a “trap” is very much at the center of this wall of text.

— Five: “Diogenes’ Utopia.” This is the achievement you get for going through all of Belobog’s trash cans, and yep, the relevancy to Sampo seems pretty obvious here. Not only is it in the Moment of Joy (Elation-aligned) category, but it directly connects to the idea of Belobog and Sampo himself being associated with trash and trashcans — in fact, one could even say Sampo views himself as the “trash” in the greater “trashcan” of Belobog! Because of this link, it seems to imply some kind of importance to getting to know Sampo, to looking beyond his exterior or the parts others see as “valueless” and finding the worth inside of him. To be loved is to be known, and all that. 

— Additionally, the mention of yet another Greek figure — Diogenes — is important as well. Not only was Diogenes known for founding cynicism (a lifestyle emphasizing self-sufficiency and, perhaps most notably, intentional rejection of luxury), he also rejected “manners” as a whole, often impressing the idea that “truth” and honesty was a virtue. 

— As for Sampo, I find this link quite interesting. It really makes me think about how, despite Sampo’s penchant for being a businessman, he willingly chooses to stay in Belobog, a place far-removed from the luxuries of the wider universe. Not just that, but although he often obscures or leaves out important details of the truth, he never seems to outright lie. With how Tatalov shook out on Penacony, “truth” and the revealing of it seems important to him as well. (He also mentions that he has nothing to hide later in this same event.)

— It also many be referring to Belobog as a “utopia” for someone like Diogenes, since so much of the planet has returned to the “simplicity of nature” through being cut off from the wider universe.

— Overall, there’s quite a bit of references to Greek figures, and well as implications of both conceptual and material themes. All together, it seems to paint a picture of Sampo as someone who, on a personal level (and despite the way he comes across on the outside), prioritizes truth, ambition, and finding value in unlikely places. It also implies that, on an identity level, he may be someone who isn’t entirely human — a creation, perhaps even technological or otherwise — who has been tossed aside from one place only to be found valuable in another, and additionally who may have been “set loose” to explore the limits of his existence.

— These could have slight alterations, of course, like Sampo not being “set loose” by any one party but rather trying to find his limitations on his own, or being found “valuable” in Belobog’s Undercity as opposed to the Elation itself, but I think the core ideas still stand.

— “High Voltage Stolen From Heavens” is very interesting to me because of one word: stolen. (Well, it also occurs to me that “high voltage” implies the fluid-turned-flame eventually snapped into existence, and was likely taken from that “electrical” form, and that “heavens” implies either space itself or another Aeon, but I digress.) “Stolen” sticks out to me so much because the mythological Sampo has quite a bit of conflict surrounding it, including being “stolen” (several times, if I remember correctly). 

— This fits neatly into a mythological interpretation of Sampo’s character, implying that from whatever form (material or otherwise) he originated in, he was then stolen by another party in-universe. My tendency is to say Aha was the one doing the stealing, as Sampo is currently affiliated with the Elation and it just seems like something Aha would do. The main question now is: From who? Again, Sampo’s identity itself is the main question. (Looking real convenient for that “secret” only Aha knows.) Aha’s motivations seem to have been either experimental, joke, or purely interest-based in nature, so we at least have some leads there. Additionally, it seems that Sampo may have been “shoved,” for lack of a better word, into a smaller or more compact form when he was stolen, so that’s another idea. However, i’m still not sure from who.

— Aha is doing the stealing, Sampo is the thing being stolen, so who else is part of the equation? I’m tempted to say it’s another Aeon, or at least an important Path faction, but for the life of me that’s something I just can’t figure out. Again, this is likely intentional if Aha is trying to keep Sampo’s identity a “secret,” but it still frustrates me to no end. Who is it Mx. Aha?? I need to know!!

— (“Stolen” could also refer to “Those Remembered (I)” from Mundanite Assembly, as Xiaoya and her teacher taking Sampo out of the darkness — likely his home or place he lived — and into the light, or outer world, could be a case of “stealing”.)

— “On stormy days, the unyielding kite will face the wrath of the gods head-on” once again feels like Sampo is referring to himself, this time as the “unyielding kite”. I wonder if “wrath of the gods” is meant to simulate some kind of battle fought over him (which would line up with some mythology-related stuff) or if it’s simply meant to talk about how Sampo might stand up to an Aeon (or multiple Aeons) in the future — hell, maybe he already did! It’s possible that Aha or someone else fucked around too much and found out.

— “(Do not attempt!)” also feels like a warning.

— “Nameless” saying “best luck to kites everywhere” is surprisingly wholesome as well, like we’re giving him well-wishes for his journey. Additionally, “kites everywhere” implies multiplicity, which I of course associate with Aha’s collection and/or stuffed toys because of their many individuals.

— (There’s a chance that, because of this, we may be dealing with a collection item/Doll!Sampo that, out of so many others, was the one to finally stand up and say “Hey! You treat us badly! Fuck you!”)

— As far as I’m aware, this seems like a pretty factual “true story” Sampo’s talking about — coming across a Knight of Beauty who tells a story that outlines and references Benjamin Franklin’s kite experiment, then being a bit taken aback by the Knight’s sheer devotion. 

— While this seems to be a true story in-universe, it also seems to mirror the idea that Sampo may have been “bottled” himself, potentially stolen from a different, more fluid and combustible form and forced into a smaller one through some kind of experiment or, as mentioned earlier, “trap.” If Aha was indeed the one doing the stealing, this lends a more sinister motive to the whole thing. While it’s true Sampo may have found new value with the Elation, he may have only found that through a series of traumatic events, like being stolen, trapped, or otherwise “sealed” (like the evil god in the Shining Trapezohedron Die from Ship of Fools — haha, see how I made that connection! >:3) for the purpose of a “joke” or other experiment. 

— (This experimentation could also be connected to Mundanite Assembly’s “Resleeved,” especially with its use of transplantation and Organic Heart specifically.)

— In this case, Sampo very much comes across as a force of nature — no wonder Aha wants to be hush-hush about his identity! If anyone were to find out, or heaven forbid, break that “seal” (likely Sampo’s human form itself) all hell could break loose. 

— I also just find it nice to see Sampo’s interaction with and outlook on someone outside of Belobog or the Masked Fools! It seems he has some complicated feelings when it comes to the Knights of Beauty — on one hand, he seems taken aback by their pure devotion and unabashed, streamlined fervor, but on the other hand there’s this sort of amused admiration that comes from seeing their antics. If I had to sum Sampo’s conversation up in this regard, it’d most likely be the phrase “backhanded compliment.”

.✦ ── ✦.

Day 4

.✦ ── ✦.

— This is arguably the biggest day in terms of Doll!Sampo theories, and for good reason. Sampo himself says “we’re cooking up some toys today,” and the interesting part is that it’s plural — not just one, but multiple, much like Aha’s stuffed toys.

— The name of the Curio is “The Ice That Never Laughs,” which sticks out to me for two reasons: one, the presence of “ice,” a distinct element you wouldn’t consider to be such a large part of a toy, and two, the phrase “never laughs,” a condition of existence that seems to be the complete opposite of the Elation’s — and Aha’s — goal of laughter.

— “This is a block of ice that never laughs.” It’s an interesting line, from the ice itself seeming to straddle a line between non-sentient and sentient (and in a way being personified despite giving no indication of, well, personhood) to the absolutism of “never.” Not only does it “not” laugh, but it “never” laughs. I’m tempted to say this ice not only represents the stuffed toys in general, but is supposed to clue us in to a very specific toy — perhaps one as contradictory as Sampo — that goes against the Elation’s idea of “laughter.”

— This sentiment is made all the more ominous by the interjection: “(Incorrect! Squeezing it from different angles will make it produce different sounds of laughter!)”. This implies that the toy does not want to laugh, but is rather made to through some cruel idea of a joke. It’s very similar to the Aha Stuffed Toy occurrence, where the toys have to be physically beaten and even broken to grant rewards.

— The main catch is: Who is Sampo in all of this? (Another identity question, who could’ve seen it coming?) If we’re looking at these Curios as intentionally-placed-and-named objects meant to give us insight into who Sampo is, what he believes, and what his role is in the wider universe, then I would say this ice is meant to represent him — or at least a time he was considered a toy like this. However, the comment section where someone compliments the “mental state of this toy designer” is answered directly by Sampo, who responds to it by saying “People here all say Mr. Cold Feet is disturbed!”.

— I feel like this implies Sampo to be not a toy, but rather the creator or designer themself. This, of course, would lead to Aha-centric theories, since Aha is the one who made the Aha Stuffed Toys. If Sampo used to be or is a part of Aha (if not the full Aeon Themself), then it makes sense that he would be the one answering questions about the toy designer. When he mentions being “disturbed,” it also makes me aware that he’s aware of the implications of such toys, yet decided to design them anyways. It fits with the way I’ve described Aha as a toy creator before, if not eerily so.

— There’s also the chance that Sampo, once again, fits in some kind of Emanator purgatory — perhaps he, as a being whose function is concerned with transmutation and even creation to an extent, was used by Aha to make the toys, and as such had some kind of say in the process. This could account for his disturbed designer mentality while also making it clear he’s not an Aeon himself.

— Unfortunately, this doesn’t fully account for a chronological understanding of Sampo’s identity; if he is trying to communicate something about his identity or situation to us through this event, I find it more likely that the inclusion of the ice would be a cry for help than any kind of “hey, I created these fucked up things this one time.” … And we’re back at square one!

— There are a few alternate theories, like if Sampo was captured or “stolen” to then be turned into a toy, or even if he designed the toys themselves only to be betrayed by Aha forcing him to be just the same as them — a prison of his own making, if you will — but it’s all speculation.

— I really want to believe he’s in this predator-prey, creator-created grey area so we can get the best of both worlds, but there’s just not enough concrete evidence to say for sure.

— (The repeated phrase “Collectible and Value-Preserving” also means more here, since the toys themselves would be made to be collectible, as seen in several Simulated Universe occurrences like The *Perfect* Grand Challenge and Ship of Fools!)

— Some of this dialogue also supports the idea that Sampo is more of a creator than a toy himself. “They’re a surefire hit” is very marketing-coded, meaning Sampo’s role here would be more to market and sell these toys than anything else. However, as we’ve mentioned before, it could also be his way of talking around the subject, using other items to, essentially, refer to himself.

— Additionally, he mentions gaining “inspiration,” which leads back to him being a designer, even just on a surface level.

— The inspiration itself, though, is interesting. A “toy bird” with its “expression stuck in horror, emitting a shrill screech whenever you squeeze on it.” If this isn’t the bird from Everlasting Hatred, I don’t know what is. The art for Everlasting Hatred, a Clown’s Item retrieved by Sampo in the Penacony Trailblaze quest, has a direct link to Sampo’s character theme of “hate,” and features a dead bird speared through the chest with an amalgamation of hardened, blackened thorns in the shape of a heart.

— I always assumed this bird was meant to symbolize Sampo, since it’s his “Clown’s Item” (and falls neatly in sequence with the other two), but the way he says “I really loved it” here makes me confused. It seems to imply this bird isn’t him, but is rather someone or something he used to know, some outside object he felt affection for. But if that’s the case, then why is he so specific about it? Why does it still feel like it has the quality of him trying to tell us something?

— If not for that last part, I would want to say Sampo is referring to himself again, referencing a period of time (likely as a toy or another part of Aha’s “collection”) where he was trapped in a horrible situation, likely being used by Aha for something so intensely that his demeanor and sense of self was completely warped.

— (This could also apply to the “Resleeved” experiments in Mundanite Assembly.)

— But, of course, that last line still implies that it was something else?

— Actually, now that I think about it, it’s possible that Sampo finds comfort in this “toy bird” because he relates to it, or because he’s been in a similar situation. I suppose that could explain not only why it is a physical Clown’s Item for him to retrieve, but also why he seems to love a separate object while also trying to convey something about himself. Perhaps him and the bird share similar feelings of distress, pain, and hopelessness, causing him to feel a kinship with it much like he does Belobog. After all, only the disturbed find comfort in the disturbing — and he said it himself, he is disturbed. Perhaps instead of coming up with random ideas, he’s trying to process or vent some part of his own life through these Curios.

— The next paragraph definitely reads like a directly-Sampo conversation, though — “an ice cube can only keep laughing to prevent itself from melting into a puddle of waste water in such a capricious age, haha.” Again, like the bird, this is so specific that I’m not sure who Sampo would be talking about other than himself. The inclusion of “waste water” and “haha” specifically tie things together for him, as “waste” is similar to the trash he is associated with, and “haha” is literally him laughing right after he describes how the ice has to keep laughing to survive. It’s like saying “I have this friend who has to say yippee otherwise they get struck down by a bolt of lightning” and then immediately saying “Yippee!” in a panicked voice while looking nervously at the sky. Despite the way he throws his perspective away from the toy cube at times, I’m still inclined to say it represents him.

— If we go with this interpretation, here’s what I think the ice cube is trying to say: Sampo is or has previously been in a situation where he was considered to be a toy (or at least treated in a similar way), complete with the pain, hopelessness, and dehumanization such a position would impose upon him. As such, his presentation of himself warped, much like the “shrieking” bird and the ice that is “forced” to laugh. Then, continuing forward, he must laugh or be a part of the Elation in order to survive.

— Other ideas may include: Sampo being a “middleman” for these toys, designing them and becoming attached to them in some sort of “disturbed” way. Sampo may also feel a sort of kinship with these toys despite not being one, perhaps because Aha “uses” him for his function in a similar way. (There’s a chance Aha “using” Sampo so much may lead to him breaking, or even being “broken” before, just to tie in to some occurrences and mythology!)

— (Mundanite Assembly also shows “Sampo” breaking and dying in numerous different ways, especially if all the stories are meant to be a chronological look at rebirth / reincarnation.)

— Then, at the very end, Sampo mentions how the toys are getting popular. He even justifies it a little, saying “… the world’s full of turmoil that makes it hard to laugh.” This could be indicative of a general sentiment — “outside looking in” — where he sees the toys as an understandable need in the world, but I have more of a feeling it says something about Sampo himself. To me, it sounds a lot like he’s trying to justify his own pain or suffering, to find some sort of silver lining so that he can understand why this is happening. He makes it sound casual — just enough to throw us off in wondering if he’s really talking about himself or not — but it’s clear he wouldn’t say something like this for no reason.

— (There’s also the chance Sampo is Aha, or at least a manifestation of Them, and is trying to convey something similar to the Primum Mobile: a set of rules where he must laugh, because the Elation may cease to exist if he doesn’t.)

— Overall, I’m more inclined to say Sampo wasn’t originally created as a toy, but rather stolen by Aha and forced to become one (or at least be used as one). And honestly? That’s more horrifying than the original theory!

.✦ ── ✦.

Day 5

.✦ ── ✦.

— “Salutations”… He’s so cute……

— “Full-Auto AetherTurbo Bookmark.” The main thing that sticks out to me here is “Full-Auto,” since it goes back to the idea of something automated, like a toy. I’m not quite sure what “bookmark” is supposed to mean, though? “AetherTurbo” could imply higher existence, such as being or becoming an Emanator, since “aether” is more outside the bounds of traditional elements and “turbo” implies “more” power or speed. A bookmark, however?

— The closest answer I can come to is that since Sampo has been talking about stories quite a bit in this event, it’s something to do with that. Perhaps he was created or has the ability to inhabit a specific “story” or “moment” in time, occupying the niche of a “bookmark” in a greater story. Beyond that, I’m not sure, at least through name alone.

— I’m guessing this Curio though, in a general sense, may be meant to represent the “hot-blooded past” he mentions later, since the art is of a feather on fire (and, well, fire is hot!). It’s possible that this, potentially being his time as an Emanator, could symbolize a jump in power as well as whatever “niche” he occupied during that time — maybe it had something to do with stories or something similar.

— The imagery of a phoenix is not lost on me, either, as that carries a very specific theme of being “reborn” that may also point towards his departure from “toy” or otherwise “powerless” status to something more self-sustaining. Becoming a new self, and all that.

— “Apply the principles of etheric wave dynamics to help you finish books you don’t have time to read!” If anything, I feel like this may support the relation between Sampo and Aha even more. To me, “etheric wave dynamics” fall in line with Sampo’s… everything, so far, from his original fluid state to even his traits as a playable character. Then, “to help you finish books you don’t have time to read” speaks very much to a condition or use, or a very specific purpose. We are moving away from the plain, marketable, cookie-cutter idea of a toy that is forced to laugh, and towards a higher, more specific form of existence. I interpret this niche to be something like a right-hand man, or at least an assistant — Sampo, in this case, would be the one finishing those unread books, while whoever his creator is is sending him out to do it.

Note: I have just finished reading through Mundanite Assembly, and will be attempting to make tentative connections / interpretations more often from here on out. (I will be assuming the “you” in these stories is Sampo, and addressing him accordingly.) In terms of this new information, the “bookmark” could also represent Sampo attempting to understand his past lives or experiments, which could be the “books” he doesn’t have time to read. 

— “(Just like the famous storyteller!)” may also apply to Aha, since the Elation and Masked Fools seem to be focused on the impact of stories and storytelling — just take the Ship of Fools occurrence, where the entire Aha-coded event is basically a train of stories framed as “jokes”. 

— Sampo also specifies that the product makes you feel like you’ve read a certain book, not the act of actually learning and understanding.

— This may be a shorthand way for him to try and experience his past lives, or it could be a way of conveying how Aha sends Their Emanators or dolls out to accomplish tasks They don’t want to / don’t feel like doing Themselves (a la “venting extreme emotions”). 

— (The phoenix may also be indicative of Sampo’s many “lives,” especially the “Resleeved” story in Mundane Assembly where he is taken through many experimental lives in short succession.)

— Similar to what he says in his “first meeting” line about being a “businessman, chaperone, and problem-solving conversationalist” rolled into one; the idea of the stall selling multiple (sometimes unexpected or uncommon) Curios and the idea of he himself taking on multiple professions can also lead to the idea that he, from an identity standpoint, occupies multiple functions or niches. In this way, the stall selling stationery could also be a means to convey how Sampo operates in “multiplicity” as well.

— This is a good piece of interpretation for theory combination, as themes of multiplicity are very much present throughout his character. In this way, Mundanite Assembly could function as a way to convey points of his life associated with the Erudition — he is a machine, a source of knowledge, an organic-inorganic experiment of wonder — while things like his Eidolons could convey his time with the Elation as a Doll, Emanator, or otherwise. Basically, these things may not be in conflict with one another narratively; it is entirely possible Sampo is all of this at once. 

— As for his pop-up event? I’m still tempted to say it is somewhat chronological, if only because it follows a line from non-sentient to advanced consciousness. However, the meanings of each timeline could be twofold: both his backstory with the Erudition and his place within the Elation currently.

— “If people get too obsessed with the outcome, they’ll be driven mad.” This seems to line up with “Resleeved” and several other points of Mundanite Assembly, as the scholar performing experiments on him was clearly unhinged. 

— However, Sampo also treats the bookmark as a dangerous object with an amount of “influence” and danger. It’s possible he is referring to himself as something that can easily drive knowledge-seekers into madness, or even the general idea of “knowledge” being enough to move someone to insanity.

— “To become more open-minded, one must first learn to be self-deprecating.” This feels like a reference to “Windup World (III)” where the Tavern expresses clearly that it is “open-minded” before… well… playing quite a horrible “joke” on Sampo. 

— The next part is one I’m torn in two directions on. The “mental torment without hope of escape” he mentions and the mustering “courage” to complain could be a reference to the clear mental torment of “Resleeved (II)”s experiments, and complaining about dinner could also link to “Printed Truths (II)” where he eats the Curio apple. However, this seems a bit… off from those stories. The experiments eventually break him instead of offering him any genuine escape, and the “apple” he eats doesn’t lead to any escape either. In both cases, he meets horrible ends; the only way it could be an “escape” is if he was aware he would die and be reborn free of his situation, but… he never seems to self-aware of that in these stories, at least not explicitly.

— Which leads me to the other option: this line of thinking may be him attempting to apply vague “knowledge” of past experiences to a current situation he faces. If he finds himself in an unsavory situation within the Elation, especially one focused around the “interest” or “amusement” of another party, then perhaps this line of thinking is prudent; after all, the act of complaining can often spoil the mood, and being a “let-down” may be a good way of diverting unwanted attention or amusement. A toy is meant to be fun, after all, and what use is it if it isn’t?

— He also specifies that he’s not a “comedic actor,” and when following that up with talking about those who “disregard the comedy of their routines” in favor of “doing their utmost to let others hear their own laughter,” it seems like a pretty big reference to “Windup World (III)” where the Masked Fool uses him in an “opening act” by making him, essentially, kill himself in front of a live audience. Obviously, this would be extremely traumatic for Sampo, while the “comedian” fits the description of someone who doesn’t care about the pain or distress of others as long as it makes them laugh. 

— Sampo’s resulting worry — “Heavens, that’s so scary. Please don’t become someone like that.” — makes sense as well, as that traumatic event would cause him to be pretty shaken up when discussing the topic. The idea of us, a “friend,” becoming associated with the fear and adrenaline of that night is simply too much for him to consider.

— It’s also possible that Aha could also be referenced here, since the point of the Laughter is to… well, laugh. Despite Aha being a conceptual being, Sampo may view some of Their jokes as being cruel or unfair, especially if we’re taking a Doll!Sampo leaning. Aha may view it as funny, as a way to prioritize Their Laughter that rings throughout the universe, but from Sampo’s perspective it wouldn’t be comedic at all, just cruel.

— Overall, I do feel like this day heavily references not just “Windup World (III),” but phoenix-like rebirth and hints towards a current “trapped” situation. 

— From an Emanator or Elation standpoint, rebirth may also be symbolic of a transformation we simply don’t see in Mundanite Assembly, something occupying the gap between that night at the tavern and the Sampo we see today.

.✦ ── ✦.

Day 6

.✦ ── ✦.

— “Synesthesia Omnihelper” could refer to his position within the Elation, either as an Emanator or a Masked Fool. The “omnihelper” in this catches my eye, as it implies a job as both an assistant and someone of a flexible position. “Synesthesia” could apply to Sampo’s ability to travel many places and talk to many people, as well as be a link to several points in Mundanite Assembly where synthetic Curios and the general themes of technological / space-time knowledge are present.

— “Resolve workplace troubles” sounds like it might have a link to the times where Sampo was working with other scholars or researchers in an attempt to, generally, gain different types of knowledge. The “dynamically provided solutions” also sound like part of his position in “Dousing Flames (II)” and “Printed Truths (III)”; essentially, when he was in the vicinity of others he could express his opinions to. Qingque’s comment of “It keeps praising me and asking me to work harder” also lines up with “Dousing Flames (II)” where the only real dialogue options you can pick are expressing optimism or pessimism (not exactly any useful solutions). 

— Another interpretation is that this could be his current situation: perhaps he functions as a sort of “helper” within the Masked Fools or even to Aha Themself, doing the dirty work or solving certain issues that come with being as meticulous yet chaotic as the Elation.

— It’s possible that it doesn’t even have anything to do with the Elation at all, but rather Sampo’s general attempts to help Belobog and the Trailblazer, “guiding” us in a way using his wealth of experience and knowledge. 

— However, I am fairly sure this state of being an “omnihelper” may be the job he’s expressed burnout with before; constantly being an assistant to someone else in their (or Their) pursuit of certain goals must become tiring after a time, and maybe he finally just wants to prioritize himself for once. 

— Also, “(This one’s for real!)” is backed up by a commenter saying it’s a “legitimate product,” which could add to the idea that Sampo really is trying to help, or at least tell us the truth.

— I do think there are certain things that are still difficult or even functionally impossible for him to say, but lord knows he’s trying his best!

— Lil easter egg! It is very cute!

— I like how much he likes us — for the first time, we really get an explicit confirmation he cares about us. Despite the casualness of his facade, there’s a surprising amount of love in there. 

— We also feel like we “need to accept these dividends first,” which is yet another tie to his mythological function. Whatever his past lives may have been, whatever differences his backstory may hold, the Sampo we know is the Sampo he is now. He’s still a businessman at heart, and he still wants to help us. And, maybe, for now at least, that’s all that really matters. :)

— Again, it feels like he’s referring to himself here, like he’s surprised at just how many people need his help. Especially when thinking in terms of Belobog and the Trailblazer, there sure seems to be a lot of people who could use the help of someone like him. He also seems to have quite a bit of empathy, asking “How much hardship must people be suffering from…” in a way that seems like he’s… sad? Wistful? Either way, it feels like he understands the need for the “omnihelper” as well as what it symbolizes.

— He comes back to the World’s End Tavern as well, this time detailing how the Tavern only closes its doors to one type of person: someone who is so robot-like that they do the same mundane things over and over.

— At first, I was tempted to say this may be a reference to mass-produced stuffed toys that only exist to be beaten and play the same jingle over and over, but even the stuffed toys have an element of chaos in whether they grant you rewards or not, not even taking into account the spontaneous combustions that can happen. (Plus, “robotic” doesn’t exactly seem like something Aha would be too fond of.) 

— Although Sampo quantifies this as a fable, I also feel like he mentions it for a reason — there must be some truth to it, otherwise why would he bring it up? My best guess is, if not the toys, it may be Sampo’s way of speculating over his own existence. If Mundanite Assembly is to be interpreted as Sampo-related, he would have quite literally been a robotic device at some point. Whether he knows the full extent of these past lives or not, he may be wryly (even ironically) noting how the Masked Fools shun the exact type of person he used to be. 

— The “Who wouldn’t have an ounce of hectic excitement in their lives? I’d love to meet such a person, haha.” line could be a source of dramatic irony within the story, as we the viewer may be more aware of how his past fits with this than he does himself. It could be him reminiscing on how far he’s come and how much his view of the world has changed, or it could simply be a way for Star Rail to convey a more simple idea: that he simply likes having fun.

— I do feel like it could point towards that “gap” in time we don’t know much about. It’s possible that, for whatever reason, there was a time he was shunned from the Tavern for acting this way, and that’s how he knows so much about it. This could have been incited by them finding out about his past identities, him changing when he gained power or even became an Emanator, or whatever clownfuckery Aha might have going on with him. It could even be indicative of burnout or “Cloud of Doubt.” 

— As he said before, if he had been in some sort of unending, mental torment within the Masked Fools (perhaps being used as a plaything or puppet by Aha Themself), then perhaps he had to act like this, had to act like a simple robot unable to do anything but complain over and over and over again until They set him free. He might not even be free, but simply acting in a small reprieve of time granted by trying to deflect the gaze of something or someone determined to find him “interesting.” After all, there’s a chance the people attending that comedy show in “Windup World (III)” liked his opening act a little too much.

— In his last little bit of dialogue, he talks about farces. I’m not sure if this is meant to be about the Masked Fools or Aha directly, as I feel like it could be both. On one hand, his description of a farce’s departure from a regular comedy lines up with he chaos of the Fools, especially the part about the script having no rhythm and the actors stepping on each other’s toes. It definitely seems like each Fool does think they are the center of the world. 

— However, the chaos of Aha’s splash art and their “collection” of masks / items could mean this is about Them too — a cynical take from Sampo that turns the concept of “comedic Elation” on its head. “Twisting around together” really reminds me of Aha’s splash art with just how many items are present. Aha as an entity seems to be a very complicated, twisting thing, so even if They aren’t referred to directly in these lines, They may at least be implicated. After all, action and inaction may be the same in Sampo’s eyes. If Aha doesn’t intercede in the Fools’ affairs — simply allowing them to carry on with their farce because it’s amusing to watch — then that may be just as bad as being part of the farce itself. The question becomes: What’s worse — an Aeon making a cruel joke Themself, or an Aeon simply watching in amusement as that cruel joke plays out?

— Either way, we know Sampo has personal experience with this, since he says it sounds “eerily similar to real life” and expresses his explicit distaste. Whether it was the Masked Fools, Aha, or a specific Fool (like the one in “Windup World (III)”), it’s likely Sampo has been deeply annoyed or even hurt by those that carry out the “farce.”

.✦ ── ✦.

Day 7

.✦ ── ✦.

— “Unlocking the secrets of the universe” seems like something pretty big — potentially a goal Sampo is currently trying to reach in the present. (“Just kidding” is, of course, present, but it feels like something tacked on as a half-hearted assurance, perhaps trying to circumvent any speech limitations.)

— “The Manifest Life of Eternally Homing.” To be honest, I didn’t fully understand this one until I read through Mundanite Assembly. I could potentially see it as a wandering Doll!Sampo who surpassed the limitations of his function and is attempting to find who he wants to be, or a Curio Hacker-related want to find answers for a difficult situation. Now, though, especially with the mention of gaining “detailed insights into your past and present lives,” I believe it is referencing the fact Sampo may have lived numerous lives before this one.

— Mundanite Assembly’s stories are a bit unclear to me on if Sampo has ever been aware of his eternally looping forms of existence, but either way I can understand if he wants more information on who he is, who he has been, and honestly, just what the hell is going on. He may even be as confused as we are, attempting to understand anything about his own existence and why he is the way that he is. There’s a chance he may even be breaking the fourth wall in an attempt to subvert the bounds of the game and find information like that hidden in the Unknowable Domain.

— This makes me think that he’s found some sort of higher way, bargain, or deal to use these “big data algorithms” to his advantage; he may be a wonder of nature and engineering, but there are certain things only Emanators or Aeons may be able to help him understand. I’m inclined to say Aha or Nous is involved here, heavy on the Aha. Nous may be willing to help based on how linked Sampo is to all sorts of information (and the fact he is on one big long quest for knowledge), but the mention of “Take It Easy, Icarus” from earlier makes me think Aha is amused at seeing just how far Sampo will be able to go in his search.

— “Guaranteed answers” here makes me go right back to Nous, though, since knowledge is definitely Their domain. Plus, They might help Sampo just because of how significant his existence is in the first place. Hell, maybe both Aha and Nous are in on it at the same time. I can see both sides: Aha interested in seeing how Sampo’s honestly crazy bonkers story continues (if Mundanite Assembly is anything to go by), or Nous directly inspiring him on his quest to find more knowledge about the universe and the nature of his miraculous existence. (IX might even be here, too, due to Sampo’s playable Path.)

— “You will make the same choice as you do now” is an interesting thing for March to mention in her comment; assuming this Curio works, it may say something about her future story or identity. Perhaps there have been other times in her past where she has made similar choices, and no amount of amnesia can change who she is at her core, nor what decisions she will continue to make. (Sampo even confirms a bit of this when he says “your spirit will always stay the same”.)

— It could also point to a loop in Sampo’s existence — most of his lives to tend to meet similar, violent ends (being “broken,” burned alive, shot through the head and the chest, etc.) — which may mean he makes some kind of “butterfly effect” choice over and over and over again to warrant these gruesome demises. (Hey, throwback to the mundane, repeating “robot” from Day 6!) Similarly to March, it’s possible that even if he makes different “choices” in each of his lives, his spirit — the nature of the “Sampo,” the nature of breaking — will always stay the same. It’s an enormous burden to try and escape, that’s for sure.

— (Also, the art of the Curio shows code in the background, perhaps alluding to his self-awareness and awareness of the game itself, as well as his attempts to break free of what is confining him. Additionally, the Curio itself is surrounded by a sort of barrier or seal, which supports the idea he is bound by his current situation — maybe even unable to speak about certain things.)

— Either way, this man has a lot of conditions on his existence, and I wish him all the luck in finding out whatever is going on.

— Even with all this talk of Mundanite Assembly, Sampo still circles back around to the express idea of selling, monetizing, and money-making at the end. While some of the stories in Mundanite Assembly do emphasize research funds and money, I really think it has more to do with who Sampo is now than who he used to be. Perhaps this is part of a “deal” he made, or perhaps this is a core part of his existence finally coming to the forefront. 

— In a way, maybe the Elation is helping him reconcile positive emotions with business. “Fun and money-making,” he says, perhaps for the first time. For the first time, he might be able to see himself as more than just a tool, more than just an experiment, more than just a puppet on a string. He has a function, of course, but he’s realized he can fulfill it in a way that’s fun for him. A way that acknowledges his personhood and his value. And honestly, I’m happy for him! So much of his life (even lives) has sucked so incredibly much at so many different points that I just want him to be happy for once, goddamnit!

— “I have nothing to hide anyway” feels true, in a sense. I really do think, given the way he details having drinks with friends at the tavern and exchanging stories, he is telling us as much as he’s possibly able to. He’s honest about his interest in “funny tales” and self-creating stories, and even says the meme was “gifted by a friend” of his. However, there are obvious gaps, clear instances of vague wording where there should be detail. For example, who are the friends he had drinks with? Who was the friend who gifted him the meme? Any amount of detail would suffice. It’s strange that he specifies run-ins with Knights of Beauty and Masked Fools during this event, but can’t provide any tiny hint as to who these friends are now.

— It goes back to my theory that he is bound by certain limitations, that he can only say or do certain things — when it seems he is approaching too close to a topic, he becomes this vague, cryptic mess. I feel like this “friend” might be whoever he’s made a deal with, or whoever is responsible for his limitations. Perhaps that’s why he can’t specify who they are — because he literally can’t. Of course I want to believe this is Aha, but it could also be literally anyone else of higher power. 

— Sampo also mentions he’s had adventurous run-ins, much like the Nameless. It makes sense, then, why he would feel a sort of kinship with us; especially if his “past lives” are as varied as those mentioned in Mundanite Assembly, he may feel a sort of connection with how often the Nameless change stories and locations. Constantly traveling, constantly fighting, constantly being thrust into new and unexplored situations — that seems very much like something that would be related to Sampo.

— (Also, “hot-blooded” past is specific and interesting wording. I remember his blood literally boiling in “Resleeved (III)” so it could be a more literal take on events, or it could be indicative of a time, likely with the Masked Fools, where he was, to put it simply, probably batshit crazy. At the very least, he might’ve been impulsive, arrogant, or combative, really anything that would match with the connotations of “hot-blooded”. It could also reference events like his revenge in “Windup World (I)”.)

— “It’s pointless to talk about my past adventures” also feels like he’s trying to avoid a topic where he may have limitations on what he can say. “Pointless” may be that he doesn’t think we need to know, or it may be that it simply wouldn’t be worth the effort of fighting against some limitation he can’t surpass in the first place.

— The, he leaves to “go have a drink,” which, besides having links to the Elation’s goblet-filled imagery, establishes that Sampo is a man who likes to have a drink. And just what did Boothill find that Elation Emanator doing? Exactly.

— I also love the idea of a full circle here, as “Printed Truths (II)” deals explicitly with the lack of the ability to synthesize Curios, and here we are… synthesizing Curios. You go get ‘em, Sampo!

— And, obviously, we have the first explicit depiction of Sampo’s mythology in canon: dialogue lines taken straight from the Kalevala. I’m not too clear on how this fits into specific theories, only that it directly plays into his theme of “producing wealth,” as well as being trapped in a situation where he must carry out his function. The “function” itself could be Elation-related, laughter-related (as mentioned on Day Four), money/wealth-related (as supported by Aha Stuffed Toy and his mythology itself), or even all three! 

— One thing’s for sure, he is one enigma of a man. He’s at least aware enough of the poem to sing it, although it’s unclear if it exists in-universe or if this is yet another crazy fourth wall-break.

— Anyways, I’ve yapped long enough, it’s time for me to summarize my thoughts!

— Here it is: the event summarized in all its glory. Let’s get into the breakdown!

— General: Clearly, Sampo is trying to tell us something with all of this. It’s just too… detailed, chronological, as if taken from his own experiences. I feel like there are certain things he can’t or won’t say, and as such has to rely on this “pop-up shop” as a means of talking his way around the subject, hoping we’ll pick up what he’s trying to put down. At the very least, he just wants to have a little fun. At face value, we’re simply synthesizing random Curios. But nothing’s ever so simple with Sampo, so there’s something here. The only issue is getting down to what it is; and, well, if you’ve read this far, you’ve probably realized there’s a lot of options. The event is specific yet vague, general yet complicated, shallow yet incredibly deep. And honestly? I still don’t know what it all means. I can only do my best to speculate. So speculate I shall!

— Mundanite Assembly: Day One and Two would be his original form, floating in the ether and untouched by man (likely mechanical in nature); Day Three would be this original form being harnessed by the woman in “Those Remembered (I)”, being “stolen” from wherever he was waiting; Day Four and Five, generally, may deal with events surrounding the experimentation in “Resleeved” and subsequent research in “Dousing Flames” (I am more inclined to put “Dousing Flames” with Day Four due to the running theme of fire, although the phoenix imagery may fit with experimentation more); Day Six would be “Printed Truths” and the Path research that went on there; Day Seven would be the present, with Sampo attempting to understand his “past lives,” either through revealing what they were in the first place, or gaining some sort of key insight based on memories he already has. He is likely trying to convey his existence in a way that won’t overwhelm us, and also in a way that works with whatever “limitations” he has. His talk of the Fools would place “Windup World (III)” as the beginning of the time gap, where we just have his word to go off of. In this time, he likely experienced that cruel puppet joke, joined the Fools, and potentially gained power or some sort of “deal” to accomplish his goals going forward.

— Doll!Sampo: Simply put, chronologically, an element being drawn into form — created — by the act of “stealing” something from the heavens, then turned into an Aha Stuffed Toy that must laugh to survive (even through external force). This would be Days One through Three. Day Four would be a “phoenix-like” rebirth into an Emanator or Fool of higher status, which Day Five would then turn into a specific niche for him to occupy in Aha’s “collection” — that of a helper or assistant. Day Six is once again indicative of the present, with him trying to subvert the conditions of his own existence as a creation of Elation. It’s also possible that Mundanite Assembly happened long ago and, after being messed with by the Fools, Sampo was “stolen” and reforged into a toy by Aha or even the Fools themselves. (Basically, Mundanite Assembly and Doll!Sampo don’t have to conflict with one another; they can still fit chronologically. It’s possible the Sampo we know now has all the past backstory Mundanite Assembly has to offer, but the event simply starts at the act of Aha plucking him out and “stealing” him.)

— Aha!Sampo: Days One and Two would indicate a “conceptual” or Aeonic existence, while Day Three and Four would be Aha potentially finding a way to have a mortal form or siphon some part of Themself into a “vessel.” Day Five would be the “rebirth” of either a new Aha taking the old one’s place, or Aha’s consciousness being reborn into this new form. Day Five would be this new persona — that of a helper — which would then lead to Day Six, where They attempt to find Their true purpose beyond the restrictions of the Primum Mobile (or even circumvent those restrictions in the first place).

— Emanator!Sampo: No matter what theory we’re dealing with, I’m inclined to say Day Four or Day Six are the best indicators of a shift to Emanatorhood. Day Four has its imagery of phoenix rebirth, which could symbolize a shift in power or a rebirth into a higher form of existence, while Day Six could be his present status breaking through the fourth wall and attempting to accomplish whatever it is his current goal is. This can work with Mundanite Assembly and Doll Theory, as in those I’ve already mentioned how I feel Emanator status could work.

— Non-Chronological: This could, generally, not even be about a specific order of events in Sampo’s life, but rather different parts of his worldview, identity, or interests. It’s possible that all of these conditions exist at the same time — he may be conceptual, and organic, and a toy, and a jumble of code, and a phoenix in the process of rebirth. This would allow for a more experimental look at things, with all structure set aside to look at the core of who he is. He’s not just something stolen, but a helper, too. He’s not just a lost soul looking to circumvent the lines of code that bind him, he’s a man in a constant state of rebirth, inventing and re-inventing himself until he’s satisfied. He’s burning his wings while being trapped in the confines of ice, laughing because he has to and sparking because he doesn’t. He’s everything, all at once.

— Non-Identity: If not Sampo’s identity, these Curios could be symbolic of people he knows, or simply just Curios he finds interesting. My most viable thought here is that each Curio symbolizes a part of Aha’s “collection” — or Their Emanators who all have different purposes and personalities. I want to say Sampo is symbolized by Day Six because of the Curio Hacker occurrence, with other Curios being Emanators who range from pure elemental energy to machine devices to stuffed toys. Although, it is possible Sampo can be shuffled around here, as Doll!Sampo is more likely to be the ice cube and his current “helper” role lines up with “Synesthesia Omnihelper.” Sampo can actually fit with all of these, which is why I really feel like it is identity-related, but I still wanted to cover all the bases I could.

Overall, wow, that’s a lot! If I’m being completely honest, I’m still confused (as I feel most of us are). The more I think about this event, the more it seems like a giant puzzle box to me, turning and turning and turning again every time I get close to an answer. Perhaps that’s how Sampo feels about his own existence, and why he’s trying so hard to figure himself out. I really hope this analysis didn’t come across as a scattered mess, because that’s definitely what I felt like writing it. I wanted to get my thoughts out, but there are so many alternative options and theories that I could barely get my head straight! It felt nice to get it out, though, and whatever happens, I’m happy we got to talk to Sampo again. He’s just so interesting! Anyways, I’m going to go take a nice, long nap now. I’ll leave you with some key questions to consider — bye!

.✦ ── ✦.

Key Questions

.✦ ── ✦.

— Did Aha “steal” Sampo from another creator, such as an Aeon or organization? If so, how and for what purpose? (If not Aha, then who may have “stolen” him?)

— What is Sampo’s true identity? We know certain things about his mythological function, but how does that translate into the HSR universe?

— What is the timeline of his “abandonment”? When was he left on Belobog, and by who? Was Belobog even the place he was left, or was it somewhere else?

— Was he originally elemental energy, electricity, or something conceptual? Was he organic or inorganic? And, if Aha did “steal” him, what changes were made to his form?

— How does Sampo feel about Aha? Is Aha a cruel, thieving presence in his life? Are They an accepting, freeing one? Are They a distant, unreachable god? Are They a mix of all three?

— What is Sampo’s relationship with the Aha Stuffed Toys? Was he created as one himself? Was he turned into one when he was stolen? Did he “create” them at the behest of Aha? Does he simply act as a middleman to get them from one place to another?

— What is Sampo's connection to Mundanite Assembly, if any? How might the days of this event fit in with each "chapter" of the Unknown Domain chronology?

— And, for heaven's sake, who the hell is this man?

— thanks for reading to the end! :)

— here's links (one | two) to posts with the memes i wanted to include because i literally hit the image limit on this LOL!

© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[enlitment]

The Voltaire-Rousseau Beef aka V v. JJ part III.

for @stars-in-the-night , @headsinsand and other great (and amazingly patient) readers

part 1 ; part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

7. THE ORPHANAGE (to be read in Eliza Hamilton's voice)

The one thing from his personal life that Rousseau is probably best remembered for is the fact that he gave up all five children he had with his long-term partner, Thérèse, to a Parisian orphanage. One after the other, in what could be called a rapid succession, a simple case of salut and adieu.

The reasons he gave for his behaviour differ from ‘I have fallen with a bad crowd in Paris and this is just what people around me did’ and ‘I basically had no other option anyway’ (not true, he could have married Thérèse and try to make it work. Sure, money was tight, and someone could make a few snarky remarks about the first baby looking surprisingly big for a six-month old or whatever, but these things happened quite regularly. Also, Diderot married his working-class mistress despite his father’s stern disapproval. Just saying) to – now this comes up somewhat later in the Confessions and is significantly darker – ‘I really hated Thérèse’s family and thought it would be better to let my kids be raised by the state than be around them’.

If this was him trying to break a cycle of generational trauma though – perhaps one of the side of his own family as well –  I’d argue there were far better ways of going about it. There’s also potentially one even darker, quasi-psychoanalytical reason for this now infamous choice, but it’s probably best to steer clear of Freud. Nothing good usually comes out of it.

Of course, doing something like this would make anyone seem like a douchebag, but a guy famous for writing a treatise on how to best raise children?* Guy who repeatedly argued that the single purpose of a woman’s life is to be a mother? Now that’s a hypocrisy so deliciously juicy that one simply cannot resist sharing it with the world!

*interestingly enough, he insists in the Confessions that he wanted to reveal this information in his On Education (aka Emile), and that in one of the book's passages, he alluded to this episode in such a way that he ‘basically confessed to it already’. I haven’t found that part yet, and I remain somewhat sceptical about whether this is truly the case.

8. SECOND INTERMEZZO: VOLTAIRE THE AVID HATE-READER

V on Julie, or the New Heloise: „silly, middle-class, dirty-minded and boring“

V on Profession of Faith of a Savoyard Vicar: „I read his On Education. These are reasonings of a stupid nurse in four volumes, of which forty pages directed against Christianity. They are among the most daring that have ever been written, [but] by virtue of inconsistency worthy of this head without a brain and this Diogenes* with no heart, he uttered as much abuse against the philosophers, as against Jesus Christ.“ (letter to Damilaville, 1762)

*calling JJ ‘Diogenes’ was definitely a trend in the 1700s, and what seems like V’s go-to insult for him. Calling him a ‘lackey of Diogenes’ does potentially get a bit kink-shame-y though...

9. A MOUNTAIN AND AN AVALENCHE

The last post featured an earthquake in Portugal, now get ready for a distinctly Swiss natural disaster!

To be perfectly fair to Voltaire, although he was certainly not a person who was above spreading gossip, he did have a good reason to publish what he knew about Rousseau and let all hell break loose, since...

in Rousseau’s Letters Written from the Mountain published in 1763, JJ had exposed Voltaire as the author of the infamous Sermon of the Fifty, an anti-christian work that had the potential to get its author into serious trouble. Voltaire could not and would not let this slide – especially when he had the perfect weapon on his hands. Payback time!

Voltaire therefore went on to publish a short anonymous pamphlet titled Sentiments des Citoyens (aka How Citizens Feel – since JJ proudly called himself ‘citizen of Geneva’ in his works and he championed sentiments over reason – see, it’s all very clever!) in which he exposed details from Rousseau’s personal life. This of course included the most shocking, most hypocritical, and most memorable detail of all: Rousseau, Mr. Family First, Mr. Let’s-raise-precious-children-in-a-way-that-won’t-corrupt-their-natural-godness had dumped all of his offspring into a Parisian orphanage! Not so virtuous now, is it?

Interestingly, Rousseau never put two and two together and realised Voltaire was the real author of the fateful pamphlet. It would be interesting to see how he would react had he known.

That said, much like d’Alembert’s article on Geneva a couple of years earlier, the Sentiments des Citoyens led JJ to pick up a pen once again to do what he did best: to defend the poorest and most oppressed souls against the cruel and unjust world. Which usually just happened to be himself.

And thus, as Roger Pearson, an author of one of Voltaire's many biographies concludes:

“we have Voltaire to thank for (…) being the catalyst of Rousseau’s Confessions” which he calls “one of the world’s great autobiographies”

(no, not like that @chaotic-history. Though now I cannot unsee it every time I read the quote)

->

Tune in next time for the (mis)adventure in Britain which will feature:

another philosopher - David Hume - dragged into the mess

a fake letter from Frederick the Great (that was actually penned by the most messy gossip of a person in the 18th century)

a genuinely funny statue story with an appearance from d'Alembert

[comicgeekery]

Sherlock and Shoscombe

So, after the deep dive I did with Sherlock & Co and the issues with the Case of Identity storyline, I thought it was only fair that I talk about their take on The Adventure at Shoscombe Old Place.

*Ahem*.....This was a lot of fun! I just looked up a summary of the original story because I didn't remember it well, and no wonder! It was the very last Sherlock Holmes story Doyle published, later collected into The Casebook, and thus...one of the boring ones. I'm sorry. I really don't like The Casebook stories. It's also the last batch of stories that the Doyle estate was clutching onto before Sherlock went fully into the public domain, which makes the story feel doubly tedious to me.

But! These episodes were a blast! Practically a survey of all the best parts of Sherlock & Co! There's fun banter! Heaps of character background! A really clever update to the original set-up! BRILLIANT acting and foley work! A cheeky cameo! And a truly exciting, satisfying end! I think this is the most direct information we've gotten about John's past since, well ever, but certainly since we learned about his memories of his dad. Now we know that he grew up in a very class-divided town that once felt so much bigger. And he was deeply in love once, with a woman he lost partially because of classism. (Which is such a great mirror for Beatrice and her husband's situation!) He also lost his friends because they had privileges he didn't. (Did John join the military partly as a way to get away from his roots? Out of a desperate need to be praised as a hero?)

No wonder John has so much resentment for the wealthy when it's so deeply personal. I think it's going to be comically awkward and VERY interesting when he finds out that Sherlock is mega super rich. Holmes is often theorized to be the son of a lord in canon. I figure he's at least from a wealthy family that was able to pay for him to go to tons of fancy schools. And then personal tutors. And a full-time staff that always took care of cleaning and stocking up the groceries. (For all his observation skills, I do think Sherlock grew up never considering who made his household run.) I think part of why Sherlock has been so touchy about John's anger at rich people is because Sherlock is SUPER nervous it would ruin their friendship. I am also so pumped to see what the podcast does with Mycroft! I wonder if his autism might be more limiting than Sherlock's. Like he's got the genius skills, he's got the deceptively powerful government job, but he can't handle going out into the world. Going to Baker Street would be an ordeal. Might have a full meltdown if he's not at home, work, or whatever the Diogenes Club is updated to. But.....It's hard to tell how much Sherlock & Co wants us to suspend our disbelief about some things. John and Sherlock have very clearly committed a LOT of crimes on their publicly available podcast. Maybe that will never be addressed or MAYBE Sherlock, Mycroft, or other Holmes allies have been bribing and intervening to keep them from getting arrested. Imagine the drama! "You hate the rich, but you owe all your success to MY money and power, 'Dr.' John Watson!" *Blinks rapidly*

Where was I? Oh yeah, Shoscombe. That. God. Damn. Chase. Scene! So bold for a podcast to have a climax with a car chase at the center. The foley work was top-notch for the driving and the terrain and then the crash and sinking in the lake. Whoever plays John Watson, you did an incredible job! The reckless car chase where, OF COURSE, he still narrates everything, the diving for Robert (and the clever layer of the recorder fritzing), and that CPR! It was all so engaging and believable! I love when John does doctor stuff generally, but this was my favorite example since the gunshot wound at the wedding with The Solitary Cyclist. Not sure I buy Robert's at-home crematorium as being 100% good, but I can believe John thinks so. Might help that John's a bit more desensitized to cutting into corpses than most folks. Finally, I'm sure folks are quite excited that a certain James made a cameo. (Maybe he's interested in why Sherlock and John keep getting away with all their crimes.) I knew he was going to show up at some point, and making Moriarty a listener shout-out is delightful. I just hope it's a while longer before he's ON the show. It always frustrates me when Moriarty winds up becoming basically Lex Luthor. Then again, we've already had similar cameos for Irene Adler and Baskerville Hall (and probably some I've missed) without them showing up yet. We'll see how it goes!

Good job, Sherlock & Co! I'm excited to see what you do next!

[thegildedbee]

Apology/Imperfect: May 23 & 24 Prompts from @calaisreno

This latest chapter and the previous ones are here at ao3. ..................................................................................

In and of itself, the passing of time had not yet begun to blunt whatever was continuing to tear at him in losing Sherlock; in and of itself it had not offered a pathway forward. His impulse to revisit the beginning had surprised John –.he had no idea if this flight of fancy (and of his feet) would worsen his situation; although he’d wager that "worse" was not a possibility. But the impetuosity had sparked his synapses, and as he buys his ticket for the train, he knows that it is the right thing to do, even if he cannot put words as to why.

On the day after Sherlock had come into his life, the “pink lady,” Jennifer Wilson, had traveled from Cardiff to London; nearly two years later, his remembrance of her existence had prompted John to travel in reverse, allowing the train to carry him further back in time the nearer they drew to Wales. Six minutes from Paddington, as the train accelerates to its running speed of 125 miles an hour, he realizes that he has no idea what he will do once the train pulls into the station. He takes himself to task, wondering if what he’ll do is to step out on the platform, consider the whole journey a folly, check the timetables, and turn around and head back to London. He decides that he doesn’t need to decide, not yet. In two hours’ time, when he steps off the train, he can exit the station, sit down in the nearest pub, and then work out what comes next.

Already he feels as if he is more free to breathe, outside of Harry’s home, beyond Baker Street, increasingly distant from the Diogenes, and Bart’s Hospital, and Scotland Yard, moving further and further away from Charles Magnusson’s corporate high-rise and the street where Irene Adler had lived, and the Tower, the Old Bailey, and Sherlock’s grave. Within the neutral space of the moving train, within the in-between of departure and arrival, John thinks he can let go enough that it will allow him to begin to make a reckoning, loosening knots that bind him to what has been, by thinking new thoughts.

The day that Sherlock had solved the pink lady’s murder was the day that John had thrown in with him. It was the start of them being . . . something . . . to each other. A something that would become something more over time. Two mates? Best friends? A pair? A duo? Twinned? A merger? A team? A partnership? A match? A couple?

It's a complicated question, he admits to himself grudgingly, because there are two sides to it, right? Knowing the answer for one side does not automatically reveal the answer for the other. From one angle -- his -- it’s simple, because whatever it is, it just is. But the whole bloody mess is full of multiple dimensions isn’t it, tenth Doctor timey-wimey stuff. He starts to feel irritated at this line of thought, and throws up his hands. Best put this off until he gets to the pub. Best put this off until he’s been at the pub for a while – and after he’s a few pints down.

But it wasn’t just two of them, was it, he and Sherlock, although they wouldn’t know that for a while. There was a third, right at the start, although the third had thought that he was one of two. He had thought that he was at the start of . . . something . . . with Sherlock. Nothing as simple as mates or best friends or a pair; what he was after was more complex than these: A duo? Twinned? No, it would be closer to a merger, although that wouldn’t be emotionally true enough, would it?

Sherlock had been on Moriarty’s mind ever since he discovered him in the aftermath of Carl Powers’ death. He had been planning a courtship through all these years, the trainers his Rosebud, that he would lay at Sherlock’s feet. He wanted, at least early on, to be a team, a partnership – yes, that would be closer. It might have even been satisfactory if that was all that was possible from Sherlock's end; or might be satisfactory as a way station, until Moriarty could bend him to his will. Moriarty had already raced ahead: his something was as a match, as a couple.

Moriarty had been writing himself and Sherlock into a twisted fairy tale from the start. He didn’t know Sherlock as well as he might have thought; he would need access to Mycroft’s brain, and memories, and his expressive tells to compensate for both his lack of data, and his lack of a soul, unable as the psychopath that he was to feel the emotional connection that his lust for power over Sherlock craved. In the aftershocks of Jennifer Wilson's death and the Yard's summons to Sherlock, Moriarty had sent Sherlock a setpiece from The Princess Bride to play, to test his mettle: to see if he died -- and that his brain had been made of inferior stuff, and playing the game wouldn't have been worth the candle; or whether Moriarty’s hypothesis that Sherlock was worthy to be one of two with him was proven, by his staying alive, demonstrating that he possessed a mind that was laced with iocane powder.

How disappointed Moriarty must have been when he realized that Sherlock hadn't understood the reference! John smiled, wistfully, remembering: the inevitable glitch in the operation of genius, yes? That there’s always something.

But Sherlock hadn’t needed an iocane-laced brain; he had John: John could act that night as the antidote to the poison, and he had. He had played a role in the fairy tale, although not a part that was written by Moriarty, but the part that was appearing in letters across the London skyline, like magic ink when it becomes visible, written by the two of them: John and Sherlock.

Their once upon a time, which had begun the day before, ended its first chapter with John saving Sherlock by slaying a dragon.

The train surges ahead as the landscape outside the window greens, and a young mother and her son make their way down the aisle back to their seats, hand-in-hand. She listens to him with an intent expression as he waves outside the window and then to his mobile, explaining something or other about the Pokemon he’s captured. Outside, the long stretch of empty track behind them leaves evidence of the miles that have disappeared during that moment.

John had seen himself as Sherlock’s protector from the start: a soldier to protect him from harm, harm from others and harm from himself, even as Sherlock set out to protect London, with all the recklessness, brilliance, abrasiveness, arrogance, imperfection and exuberance that was embedded within his being.

But John had not been able to protect Sherlock in the last days of his life. Something had gone wrong, and while there were more contributing factors than he was sure he could count if he counted until the end of his days, he knew that some of that wrongness had been down to him. He catches glimpses when he remembers those times when he was at Sherlock’s side during the tumult of the photo calls that began with his retrieval of Turner’s Reichenbach Falls painting. He senses deep inside that he owes Sherlock an apology for the condescension he had indulged in, which obscured his view of the field of battle, leaving Sherlock alone to try and overcome the curse that Moriarty had spun around him. There's more there he needs to think about it, if he's ever going to understand what happened. He can't just skip over it; he has to go through it, and hope that he emerges on the other side.

........................................................

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @friday411 @peanitbear @original-welovethebeekeeper

@helloliriels @a-victorian-girl @keirgreeneyes @starrla89 @naefelldaurk

@topsyturvy-turtely @lisbeth-kk @raina-at @jobooksncoffee @meetinginsamarra

@solarmama-plantsareneat @bluebellofbakerstreet @dragonnan @safedistancefrombeingsmart @jolieblack

@msladysmith @ninasnakie @riversong912 @dapetty

.............................................................................

[megamindsupremacy]

Misc PJO Fic Recs (Part 4)

The Stolen God by TsarinaTorment

Python is defeated. The prophecies are restored, and Nero has fallen. Apollo has not been seen since. His trials are over; why isn’t he back on Olympus?

-

Baby Blofis College Fund by zipadeea

Valerie calls her an hour later.

“Sally, what the hell?”

“That bad, huh?”

“Bad? Sally, it’s gold. I went from squirming in my seat to crying genuine tears. And that twist, making him a Greek god, it’s exactly what we’re looking for right now. How soon can you get me the next chapter?”

***

In which Sally Jackson realizes by the time the new baby is eighteen, a semester of college will cost an arm and a leg. And those Fifty Shades of Grey books sure did make a lot of money.

-

to bet on losing dogs by furnaceglow

The thing is,” Apollo said, the coolest prisoner of war in all of time. Prometheus wasn't prone to jealousy, but even he felt a drop of envy at how relaxed Apollo was in maximum security. "How to define a man…are we talking ontology here? That’s broad scope, bigger picture. We can include ourselves in that definition. Philosophy otherwise! Our good man Diogenes. You remember Diogenes! Or are we specifically talking about man for the sake of man? Is this about anthropology, is what I’m saying.” “I’m open to all interpretation,” Prometheus said. “Been a while since I’ve had good conversationalists here. Krios is all grunting, and Hyperion is solely interested in making his quarters nicer.” “Well, he has an eye for interior design, I’ll give him that,” Apollo said.

In which Percy Jackson ascends to a reluctant godhood, his mother loses the war but wins a battle, and for once, Prometheus picks the winning horse.

-

and if your eyes don't speak by Pixelfun20

Estelle Jackson is seven years old when she meets her nephew for the first time, over a grainy Facetime call.

OR

Estelle grew up with stories of Percy Jackson, but it takes meeting his son to realize who he really was.

-

the carriage held but just ourselves by Writeous

The official story is this: Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, just two months shy of their seventh wedding anniversary, hurtle off a cliff on a lonely mountain road. A tragic accident, a sharp turn taken too quickly. Their 2023 Prius was found buried under debris, three hundred feet below where witnesses claim they fell. Paramedics declared them dead upon arrival, suffering blunt force trauma as their car collapsed with them inside.

The real story is this: Percy and Annabeth watch as Hecate’s children create perfect duplicates of them that are promptly hurled off a cliff. Percy loved that Prius.

(Or: at the end of the Titan War, Zeus offered Percy immortality. Percy was mistaken in thinking it was an actual choice.)

-

Dawn Rises From The East by TsarinaTorment

During the Battle of Manhattan, Michael Yew fell into the East River; his body was never found. Two years later, a homeless kid known only as Ferret has a chance encounter that changes everything he knows.

-

Annabeth and the Nine Step Career Plan by feeling_the_aster_9145

Annabeth Chase does not accept limitations. Everyone knows that. If she wants something, no matter how impossible, she will find a way to make it happen. Though, perhaps she will allow Bruce Wayne and his ridiculous paranoia-induced company restrictions a small portion of the credit.

Actually… now that she thinks about it, the man may have had a point in his worries.

Wayne Technologies does not accept college interns. Annabeth always has a plan B.

-

is it really a crime if you don't exist? by MidnightBunny

"So, what you're saying is," Percy said, staring at the man in front of him. "you're me from the future."

The man took a drink out of the coffee cup in his hand. "Yup."

"And you're here," Percy said slowly. "Because Annabeth's brother's boyfriend is trying to prove the existence of the multiverse."

The man nodded.

"And you got sucked in when he turned it on."

Nod.

"And now you don't know how to get home."

Nod.

"And how did you get sucked in, again?"

The man mumbled something.

"What?"

"I was coming back from the bathroom and opened the wrong door."

-

(I'm so excited this one is back y'all, the author privated all her works but just unprivated them a few weeks back so now I'm recommending you read all of her stuff, especially this fic)

Son of Sea Foam by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

“She’ll never claim me,” he whispered. Silena shook her head, eyes wild as she looked around for anyone who could be watching.

“My mother doesn’t remember half of her children as it is,” she said with a note of bitterness. “If you do something to impress her, it won’t matter. Return the bolt in her name. She’ll claim you if you act the part. If you stay unclaimed then they'll figure out what you really are," she said, squeezing his hands tightly. Percy's heart sped up.

"I - I don't know the first thing about Aphrodite-"

"My mother was born of sea foam," Silena cut him off. "And if you're really who I think you are... you are the sea. You can pull this off," she said and touched his cheek. "Get the bolt. Survive," she said. Percy swallowed.

"What if I can't act the part?" He asked. Silena's expression went blank for a moment. Slowly, she slipped off her bracelet and placed it in his hands.

"If you're going to be one of us... you better learn."

Or

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he's a Big Three kid otherwise he'll be killed on the spot. Unfortunately for him, unclaimed kids tend to raise the most suspicion... but he might have found a loophole in the form of Aphrodite.

-

This fic on tumblr that’s one of the best PJO fics I’ve ever read

[starkraivennemad]

Convince Me Tomorrow

By all accounts it had been vicious for the past weeks in Mycroft Holmes’ life. It genuinely felt as though the classic Mr. Murphy and ALL his laws were out to get him.

Completely wiped out, he ordered an equally exhausted Anthea home. That she only gave trace argument against leaving until he was also ready to leave spoke volumes. Too drained to make it to his vehicle, he decided to kip for a moment on the sofa.

Mycroft removed his suit blazer and rolled up his cuffs.

But first, a much-needed snifter of brandy.

“Mr. Holmes. Detective Inspector Gregory Lestrade is on the premises.”

Ah, Gregory. Always the perfect elixir to what ails me!

“Thank you, please send him up.”

He chuckled to himself remembering time early days of knowing Gregory when he loathed the man. Stubborn, but respectful in a sneering way that showed how he felt, Gregory simply did not kowtow to him. Highly intelligent and intuitive, Lestrade a rare thing in Mycroft’s world - an honest man. The fact that all of it came in a very pleasing to the eye package that was unfortunately married then. Even as he slowly grew to respect and admire the man, he spent years being the cold unapproachable man. Being Iceman. Antarctica. The above such trite things as sentiment. The one who regularly touted ‘caring is not an advantage’.  

But that was then.

Now respect and admiration had grown to full on love. And though Greg was now divorced - alas, only Mycroft himself knew of that love. After years of holding himself away, he had no idea how to get close to the man.

Thus, it was a Mycroft Holmes who was more than a snifter or two of brandy in, that cheered when Gregory entered.

“Greetings! It’s been a minute as the youth say. Join me a drink?” Mycroft stilled his snifter in time to keep it contents from sloshing over the rim – barely. 

Oh, he’s wearing one of his better suits! It does not look he’s worn it all day. He must have gone home and changed. He looks good. Why does he look so good?

He frowned as Gregory quickly closed his gaped mouth. “What?”

“I um…” Greg scratched at his head. “…In all the years we’ve known each other – I cannot claim to have ever seen you this… relaxed… in appearance or temperament.”

Mycroft looked at himself.

Granted on any other man, being jacketless, waist-coated, with perfectly folded sleeves would be an elegant casual look. But for the normally, impeccably dressed, three-piece bespoke suited Mycroft? -it was down-right slovenly in his mind, and he was horrified!

“Oh! Do I offend? I - I – I did not mean to -” Mycroft immediately stood and put down the glass to unfold his sleeves.

“No don’t!” Gregory practically yelled as he darted to his side, placing his hand atop Mycroft’s to stop him. “It was not censure, Mycroft! Please relax. I am happy to see you—this much of you… I – I mean see that you can sit back and relax a moment.”

Both men were transfixed by Gregory’s fingers that gently grazed along the fine hairs above his wrist…

He’s… He’s touching me! He’s TOUCHING me! He’s touching ME!

…but then Gregory he realized what he was doing and quickly moved his hand.

Mycroft was admittedly inebriated, but the shock of Gregory’s warm touch fired off several cranial pistons into action.

Oh, stopped, but he did not apologize. What does that mean?  

Greg lifted the near empty decanter. “Uh, are we having a celebration of sorts?”

“Oh dear, wasn’t that full an hour ago?” Mycroft said sheepishly. “Wait. What brings you here?”

“And on that note – I think we need to get you to your driver.” Gregory put down the brandy decanter.

“What? Why? You’ve just arrived!”

Too upset at the thought of being parted from Greg so soon, he be more horrified to know he whined.

“I’m here because you invited me. And perhaps to ensure a pod person has not taken you over?”

“What are you talking about?”

Greg showed Mycroft his phone.

TEXT–1744: It’s sad but true. How I think about you. It rhymed! Ooh! – MH

TEXT–1745: Drinks. You and Me. Now. Diogenes. It rhymed again, see? – MH

Mycroft looked at his pocket watch and then checked his own phone in horror.

Yes, I sent those over an hour ago. Oh, I was, and am, well into my cups.

“Oh…” Mycroft blushed deep to his roots.

I texted – in rhyme dear god – and he got dressed and came. But he’s in A SUIT - for me?

“Oh…” Gregory echoed, and promptly lost his battle to remain stoic.  “You look so incredibly gobsmacked right know, Mycroft, were you not drunk, I could kiss you.”

“That implies you could kiss me when I’m sober.” Mycroft said carefully. “I may be drunk and thus emboldened -that is true, but you know I remember everything. If I ask to see you tomorrow - would you?”

“See you tomorrow? Or… kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“If you ask to see me tomorrow?” Gregory gave a shy, but burgeoning smile of hope. “Tomorrow… I’ll kiss your whole face—don’t try me.”

“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps…” Mycroft mixed quotes as he began to roll his sleeves down, then retrieved his jacket and briefcase. “Good night till it be morrow…”

Gregory reached for his hand when they reached Mycroft’s sedan.

“I know you’ve noticed I dressed in this suit for you.”

“I… have…”

“Then remember this: I was hoping to convince you to get me out of it.” Gregory took Mycroft’s hand in his and kissed it. “It is a hope that I have had for quite a while now.”

“I hope you can convince me then.” Mycroft returned the gesture and climbed in the sedan.

----    ----

TEXT–2359: Will you see me tomorrow? – MH

TEXT–0000: It is tomorrow. – GL

TEXT–0001: I know. – MH

A grinning Greg, who clearly had been expecting this, opened the door to his flat to see Mycroft standing there. “A promise is a promise, Gregory.”

“I know.”

“And you’re still in your suit.”

“I still hope to be convincing, Mycroft.”

Gregory kept his promise.

And was very convincing indeed.

--------------------------------------------- Comment on AO3

@mystradepromptsandscenarios

Mystrade Monday Prompt #99

[swamplatibule]

hello madd tumblr. assuming you have no clue who this is (it’s Eli) will you do me a favor and tell me what details about him you can find in this picture

Brighter version under the cut if needed

[jeannereames]

Do you think alexander considered hephaistion his alter-ego?

"He, too, is Alexander"

Did Alexander think of Hephaistion as his alter-ego? Quite possibly—but not by that term. For one thing, “alter-ego” is Latin, and we find it first used in writing by Cicero, although it may have been (quite possibly was) in common parlance prior.

The concept did appear to exist in Greek, but the tendency to apply it to Alexander and Hephaistion owes chiefly to two attestations. The first is the recorded meeting between Alexander, Hephaistion, and Sisygambus, wherein he supposedly said, of Hephaistion, "He, too, is Alexander." The other concerns a quip attributed to Aristotle, mentioned in Diogenes Laertus that friendship is one soul in two bodies—but this not found Aristotle's surviving works, despite a longish passage on friendship in his Nikomachian Ethics.

Without being unduly cynical, we must always take exact phrasing with a grain of salt. I think there's very little we can be certain Alexander said. Same problem with Aristotle, unless you're reading his actual writings, and even some of those are dubious, such as the infamous Ath Pol, or Constitution of the Athenians. We typically distinguish these as “pseudo-Aristotle.” (So if you see “pseudo-”some-name, that means the work is attributed to that person but almost certainly not actually written by him/her.)

So, as part of my usual ‘Let me ‘splain you why you can’t trust that story/saying…,’ let’s play some dating games here.

First, Cicero is our initial attested use of “alter ego,” in a letter to his friend Atticus, that dates the phrase to somewhere between 68-44, or middle of the first century BCE. Maybe we can push it back a little earlier to the early first century, but I’d be uncomfortable pushing it further without solid evidence. Popular terms change. Anybody call a fashionable (male) person, “That cool cat…” these days—except as a bit of a joke? I didn’t think so. 😉 But “cool” itself is otherwise still in common use. So we have to be careful about when terms are popular.

Now, the story of Alexander before Sysigamgus is best known from Curtius (3.12.16-17), but Diodoros also relates it (17.37.5-6), and so does Arrian (2.12.3-8)—although with a caveat. He says it doesn’t appear in his trusted sources (Aristoboulos or Ptolemy) but he tells it anyway, apparently because he approves of the actions in it.

We don’t know where it comes from. Maybe Kleitarchos? Possibly Kallisthenes? It does not appear in either Plutarch’s bio of Alexander or his Moralia, although normally he loved these sorts of anecdotes. There’s a good reason, however, that Plutarch doesn’t tell it (see below). Justin is just too short. (It also appears in abbreviated form in a couple of later Roman sources, Valerius Maximus and Dio Chrysostom. So it was clearly popular in the rhetorician crowd.)

So, what are the words attributed to Alexander? Diodoros’ Greek is kai gar kai outos Alexandros estin: “and for also this [man] Alexander is” (6). Arrian renders it kai gar ekeinon einai Alexandron: “and for that man is Alexander” (7). Curtius puts it, albeit in Latin, nam et hic Alexander est: “for he also Alexander is” (17). Yes, I rendered those into English pretty exactly, even if it sounds a bit funny. First, it helps show how every translation is an interpretation, but also allows us to watch the parsing itself.

None of them is exactly the same, even if the meaning is the same. That’s a good reminder we don’t have his exact phrasing!

Assuming the event even happened.

Why should we doubt it? Aside from Arrian’s skepticism?

This story feels a LOT like a classic lesson in proper clemency. I’ve talked about the importance of clemency before. The bulk of this tale is meant to show a chivalrous Alexander early in his career, before he fell victim to divine aspirations and the lure of that nasty Oriental Luxury <tm>. See what a good guy he was?! Plutarch, in his take, insists not only did Alexander not rape the royal women, he wouldn’t even look at the women. That’s probably why he doesn’t tell this story, because going to their tent absolutely IS looking at them, donchaknow. It’s even funnier because it’s Plutarch who tells us Statiera died in childbirth well, well after that baby could have been Darius’s. (Consistency? What consistency? Pfff.)

My point here is that the story may very well have been fabricated to make a MORAL point of how to be an honorable victor—whether in the era of the Successors (which grew increasingly bloody and vicious), or in the later Roman period. It would also provide a perfect example for Curtius to contrast with Alexander’s later Asian debauchery.

You may be wondering, But why would they make up an entire story like that? Wouldn’t people know?

Um, to prove my point I give you…Twitter, QAnon, and whatever quote is being attributed (wrongly) to Samuel L. Jackson this week. The more often people hear something, even a lie, the more likely they are to believe it’s true. Arrian’s other stories of after-Issos events has Leonnatos going to talk to the women, not Alexander (and Hephaistion). Of course, it’s entirely possible Leonnatos went the first evening, while Alexander and Hephaistion went the next morning. It even makes a certain amount of sense that he’d visit the royal women. So, the bare-bones of the encounter may be true, but mistaken identities and all those speeches were likely put in people’s mouths later.

Incidentally, there’s a pun in the line, as alex-andros translates to “protector of men.” So Hephaistion is also a protector of men. Romans and Greeks ate up that sort of word-play.

As for the Aristotle titbit…Diogenes Laertus reports a list of “sayings” (aphorisms) attributed to various philosophers. For Aristotle, one is: “To the query, ‘What is a friend?’ his reply was, ‘A single soul dwelling in two bodies’” (5.20). I’ve seen people claim he was referencing Alexander and Hephaistion. There’s absolutely no reason to assume that except romanticism and an Alexander-centric view. In our surviving writings by Aristotle, he barely mentions Alexander.* Shock, I know. 😂 But Alexander wasn’t at the forefront of his mind.

Additionally, as I said above, we have a longish bit on friendship in the Nikomachian Ethics, where that definition doesn’t appear, although nothing he says about true friendship in it contradicts the quote, either. But “Sayings of…” were a popular form of literature in antiquity, and sometimes a clever quip got attributed to more than one person! Maybe Aristotle did say that, but it’s not in actual writings about friendship by Aristotle. Aristotle’s writings on friendship are rather more complex; he lists three types of friendship in Book VIII.

Anyway, this little in-depth study is meant to help folks see how complicated it can be, to get back to what ALEXANDER himself said, thought, or even did.

Yet one thing ALL the sources agree upon: Hephaistion was Alexander’s favorite, not just (or even primarily) as a commander, but as a person. I’ve never read any claim to the contrary, and I have (quite literally) read everything in the ancient sources that concerns Hephaistion (and most everything that concerns Alexander too).

So, while it’s impossible to say that Alexander considered Hephaistion an “alter-ego,” or ever called him “Alexander too,” you can rest assured that every ancient source agrees that Hephaistion was dearer to Alexander than anybody else, maybe even including his own mother.

—————-

* 391a2: his “On the Universe” treatise opens with a reference to “Alexander,” who I think it’s safe to assume is the king. And 1420a5, is “Rhetoric to Alexander”--except that treatise is widely understood (even in the medieval world) to be bogus: e.g., a "pseudo-Aristotle" text. Plus Alexander is mentioned in a couple fragments.

[thescienceofdeductionn]

Stoic Perspective

This post will be some kind of addition to mindset, but also very important part. You might be wondering how it is related to deduction and Sherlock Holmes but even though we don't see Sherlock talking about Stoicism, he follows it in most cases. (Mixed with Cynicism which started around the time Diogenes lived.) So, let's see how Sherlock uses and how we can use it in our daily life.

Remember this episode? Season 1 Episode 3. Sherlock solves 5 cases in a row with some time constraints, stress factors, etc. In one scene, Watson asks, "There are lives at stake Sherlock! Actual human lives. Just so I know, do you care about that all?" and Sherlock answers with a brilliant answer: "Will caring about them help save them?" and Watson says "Nope." and then Sherlock says "Then I will continue not to make that mistake." Obviously, they show it like Sherlock doesn't care about anyone and is an egocentric narcissistic robot but that is certainly not the case. If you watch other adaptations(Granada, Elementary or even the books)Sherlock cares about other people, but not in a way normal people do. I am pointing out this scene because it shows us the attitude and mindset of Sherlock. Let's see how we can apply this in real life:

1-Caring without Emotions

"Emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning." -Sherlock Holmes

After watching Sherlock we shouldn't try to be like Sherlock, especially if we don't understand how he thinks. When he says, caring won't save them it doesn't mean he doesn't care. It just means it is not relevant and emotions won't help them in any way because it will cloud his thinking and deductions. So, what can you do in situations where stress is high and your emotions come to the surface?

1-Recognize them: Don't suppress or act like you don't have them. Just realize they are there and act accordingly. If you say "There is nothing wrong with me. I don't feel any emotions right now..." then you won't be aware of the affect they have on you.

2-Think Clearly: It is easy to say but hard to do. How can we think clearly? What does it mean? It means you have to use the relevant data and eliminate what is not. If you want to think clearly, you have to recognize your feelings, emotions etc. You have to be aware of them at every step so that when they are affecting your reasoning, you can overcome them and keep going.

3-Follow Your Logic

Sherlock doesn't call Moriarty after he solves the case because he wants to use time advantage. He wants to work on other cases and because of that, he doesn't call Moriarty. Watson is reacting with emotions and says this woman was covered with bombs all this time. Although Sherlock cares about the woman, he follows the logic. If he uses the time to his advantage, he can save more than one life but if he reacts with emotions, he will just save one. So, use your logic and act accordingly.

2-Perspective For Problems "External things are not the problem. It's your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now." -Marcus Aurelius

This can change a lot of things about how you see your problems. Let's say you have a lot of work to do and after a long day you are going home. When you arrive there, you realize your house is on fire? How would you react?

I believe, most of us would be full of emotions. Why did this happen to me? Why is life not fair? My life is over. What will I do now?

But if we just can change our perspective and practice it in our daily life we would have a very different and constructive response to the situation. Now, here is the perspective I am talking about:

Now think about the same scenario. You see that your house is on fire. You think "Can I do something about it?"->"Yes. I can call the fire department." or "No. It is too late. Everything is turned to ash." In both cases, you don't have to worry because it is already done. You can't travel back in time so you have to create your plans for the future. You can't waste time thinking about the past because it will limit your capacity to act on the future.

If you use this perspective in every situation, eventually it will become automatic and your emotional reactions will not be as strong as it is now. This way, you will be able to use your logic more easily and solve the problem you have.(Or you will stop worrying if you don't have a problem.) This is probably the fundamental perspective of Stoicism.

3-Expressing Emotions

I won't go deep into the Jungian Shadow or deep psychology of the emotions and suppressing etc but we have to be aware of this fact: The fact that if you don't express your emotions in some way, it will come out later bigger than it was.(Also, you won't be in control.)

If you watched Elementary, you know that almost in every episode Sherlock express his emotions to Watson.(Or to someone else. Which by the way is a more human adaptation of Sherlock.)He talks with her about what he feels and thinks about the situation because he can't deal with them alone. We can't deal with them alone too so we have to find some ways to express them. Here are some basic ones: 1-Talking to your Watson

If you have someone you are close to, then talk to them. Explain your feelings and emotions as clear as you can be.

2-Keeping a Journal

You won't always have an opportunity to talk with somebody so you need to talk with yourself clearly, which is what journaling does. You use words and getting things out of your head so you can analyze them more clearly. Just write and then read them aloud.

3-Physicality

If you like to work out, run, go to the gym or do any physical activity, do it. It is especially useful for anger and sadness. Try and find whatever works for you.

So, that is a general look at emotions and how to live with them. After you read this, you won't immediately detach from your emotions and act with your logic. This post is not enough, so you have to do your own reading. Some suggestions for reading: Meditations-Marcus Aurelius (Excellent example of journaling in a stoic way.) The Handbook-Epictetus Ryan Holiday's books(All relates to Stoicism)

And one last thing. Always remember these wise words:

"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength." -Marcus Aurelius

[gemsofgreece]

Hey! This is a linguistic ask, I think? I actually have another question as well, but since it has nothing to do with this topic, I'll send a separate ask. Anyway.

Could you tell me the meaning of βασιλεύοντες? When I looked it up, it appeared that this word is plural and that it would be translated more literally as "reigning ones". The pages showed me that it can be written as something like basileus. The specific phrase is "παρεγένοντο δὲ εἰς Σπάρτην ἐπὶ τὸν Ἑλένης γάμον οἱ βασιλεύοντε ς Ἑλλάδος. From what I understand, Ἑλλάδος is Hellas, i.e. Greece. So βασιλεύοντες Ἑλλάδος would be something like "those who reign over Greece". In the English translation, it's usually "Kings of Greece". However, if it's indeed basileis, from what I have researched this term is not literally "kings", since, for example, basileus/basileis was used for Byzantine emperors and for other authority figures other than kings in Ancient Greece, such as certain types of leaders. With that, my question is the following: does this word necessarily imply royalty or at least something equivalent to royalty in the society in question? Or, for example, can it be used to designate a noble? If it's exclusively royalty, it could apply to a prince (since in this context it's being applied to princes, including). Another intriguing thing is that one of the characters designated as such is actually illegitimate. In case the characters so named are needed for the interpretation, this is about Helen's suitors and in this source they are: Odysseus, Diomedes, Antilochus, Agapenor, Sthenelus, Amphimachus, Thalpius, Meges, Amphilochus, Menestheus, Schedius, Epistrophus, Polyxenus, Peneleos, Leitus, Ajax son of Oileus, Ascalaphus, Ialmenus, Elephenor, Eumelus, Polypoetes, Leonteus, Podalirius, Machaon, Philoctetes, Eurypylus, Protesilaus, Menelaus, Telamonian Ajax, Teucer, Patroclus. The source is Pseudo-Apollodorus' Library.

The other term that is present in The Iliad and is διογενὲς, which can be written as diogenes. The translation, from what I researched, would be something like "sprung from Zeus", "Zeus-descendent" and similar things. While researching if this meaning was literal or could have another possible connotation, I found the following suggestions:

The term describes characters who have Zeus in their bloodline in some way.

The term describes heroes in general in a complimentary way, regardless of their association with Zeus.

The term describes characters of royalty, as royalty comes from Zeus.

In the English translations, Caroline Alexander translated it as descended from Zeus, Zeus-descended, seed of Zeus and god-cherished (it's the same word in all cases), Martin Hammond translated it as Lord, Richmond Lattimores translated it as illustrious and Robert Fagles translated it as Prince. My doubt arose precisely because the translators seemed to have different interpretations and so did the academics (which is where I got the 3 theories suggested above from. It was from articles). Lattimore seemed to interpret it as a way of designating praise, Fagles seemed to interpret it as something that designates royalty, Hammond seemed to interpret it as something that involves status and Alexander simply went with the most literal idea, although in the case of god-cherished she may have interpreted it as designating someone divinely favored (in the sense of support). In The Iliad, this term is used in several characters, such as Achilles, Odysseus, Patroclus, Menelaus, Telamonian Ajax, Euaimon, etc. In The Odyssey, it's used with Odysseus.

I tried to research to see if perhaps some Greek scholar had given their own interpretation, but I couldn't find anything, probably because it hasn't been translated into other languages. So I'm curious if there was any Greek professional who suggested some possible meaning for this term? Is it to designate heroes? Is it a compliment? Is it literally someone who is descended from Zeus? Is the character royalty?

Many thanks in advance!

Hello! Welcome to Greek semantics haha

a) Βασιλεύοντες

Βασιλεύοντες is the plural masculine present participle of the verb "βασιλεύω" (basileúo) which means "I reign". Consequently, it means indeed "the men who reign over". Participles are extremely important in Greek and they replace common nouns very often. In this case, it could have been βασιλείς (basileís), kings, and it would not make any difference in the meaning of the text whatsoever. The choice could purely be aesthetical, personal, even instictual, without much thought put into it. Of course, the participle offers one additional information; time, those are the men who are currently reigning.

Who and what can a basileus (king) be in Greek history is pretty fluid. In general, it means the person who rules a particular state or region, no matter how small or vast. It is not always that or just that though. In Mycenaean Greek, the same word (in the form of something like quasireu) was to describe a nobleman of authority but quite probably not the king. This was the anax. The anax barely makes it to the early Archaic Homeric Greek. While various characters are basileis (most are the ones you are inquiring about) and by that time it really means kings, only Agamemnon is referred to as anax if I remember correctly, and Priam from the Trojans.

So, here's how that worked more or less. All of them were kings to their respective regions. Hellas and Argos (Central and South Greece, at the time) were always divided in smaller kingdoms where a chieftain, a warrior king ruled. These small kingdoms were technically the predecessors of the Greek city-states. Agamemnon was a basileus like everyone else. He could not really meddle at the inside matters of, say, Ithaca instead of Odysseus or Phthia instead of Achilles. However, when an issue greater than each's inside issues arose, when multiple basileis had to face a challenge together, when there was need for a common policy, then Agamemnon had the first say amongst them and he would take the final decision. He was the anax, the "king supreme" of Hellas and Argos. (Around that time both Hellas and Argos start being used interchangeably to define all of central and south Greece too and by the time of pseudo-Apollodorus Hellas was by far the most prevalent term to use.) The usage of anax soon faded after Homer. It interestingly made a comeback in Byzantine Christian context later. For example, the Virgin Mary is sometimes called "Ánassa", Queen (of Heavens). Derivative words from anax are present in modern Greek, i.e anáktoron, royal palace.

After the drop of anax, basileus was the only and general word for king. In Greek it resolutely does not matter how vast his land and how many people or ethnicities the basileus rules over as long as he is the supreme ruler in his region and answers to no one. This is why in actuality the obvious distinction between king and emperor that exists in western European languages are nowhere near as clear in Greek. In fact the Greek word for emperor αυτοκράτωρ (autokrátor) was a term coined in the Roman period to translate the Latin term imperator (commander, used for the Roman emperors). Αυτοκράτωρ means "the one who has all the power to himself". In other words, it was not a word that held a distinct meaning than that of the king. It was a coined term to emphasize on the power of the emperor, who in the eyes of the Greeks was... a king, but a strong one. This is why there are instances of the title ΒΑΣΙΛΕΥΣ ΑΥΤΟΚΡΑΤΩΡ (basileus autokrator). It techinically means "the king of all power". After the division of the Roman Empire and the fall of the western part, Greeks just kept calling the emperor βασιλέα (accusative case), as was their way. Especially once Greek became the official language in 610 BC, this was the official title for the emperor; Βασιλεύς Ρωμαίων. Modern Greek has probably been influenced by the western perception in this and treats βασιλιάς and αυτοκράτορας (the casual modern nominative cases) as different types of royalty and power like in the west, however this wasn't the case up until the Middle Ages.

Now, you are also right that sometimes the word addressed noble people without them being strictly royalty. It could be if the person had the utmost authority for a considerable area or if they were just royal, as in kin to an actual king or connected to them. It has always been even used as a compliment for commoners as well, "kingly". This belief has very old origins, certainly already in early archaic times. Someone kind and civil in their behaviour, someone with grace, bravery and other virtues, someone beautiful was thought to descend from royal genealogy or was praised as "fit for a king", "fit for a queen", even "fit for a prince or princess". This association never went extinct, it very much exists in modern Greek folklore. Furthermore, the names Basíleios (Basil, kingly), Basileía and Basiliké (queenly, royal) are some of the most common in Greece.

b) διογενές

Here it would be useful to have the full phrase you encountered this to know how literally or figuratively the word is used. And are you sure it's διογενές and not διογενής? Because the former is neuter. Both ε and η are transliterated as e in English.

If it's literal then yes, we are talking about a descendant of Zeus or something made by Zeus.

If it's figurative, then the explanation of this word will be consistent with the last paragraph above. Here I invite you to consider whether you have also stumbled onto the word δῖος (díos) that describes Homeric heroes several times, most of all Odysseus. And perhaps you know that Διογένης was a pretty common Ancient Greek name. Okay, keep this thought in mind for later.

Zeus' name ultimately derives from the PIE Sky Father god Dyeus. Its root can be better seen in the conjugation of Zeus' name (Greek proper nouns have declensions too). In Latin characters, it goes like Zeus Dios Dii Dia Zeu. Now, this di- root that has PIE origins meant "shine, brilliance, skylight". It is why the most important god is called as such because after all he is the God of the Heavens, THE God. (Other sky deities like Ouranós, unfortunately transliterated to Uranus, were later developments as Greeks were expanding their perception of their theogony).

So, δῖος means something like "divinely luminous", "god-like", "godly", "brilliant". It kind of means all those things. This is why Lattimore translated it as "illustrious", because it has the meaning of "great, renowned" and it is also through the same reasoning and a similar etymological concept, as it derives from a word that means shine, bright in Latin. Illustrious though misses a little on the divine connotations and the connection to Zeus in comparison. BTW no I did not forget this is about διογενές (diogenés) instead but the second part of the word is very easy to explain. In short, in this context it means birthed, produced, descended. So since δῖος and Zeus have the same etymology, you can say that it either means produced / descended from Zeus (literally or figuratively) or "made of (Zeus) divine brilliance". The most important thing here is that it does not matter much. Yep. The reason it does not matter is because if it's figurative then it absolutely designates praise. Godly. Divinely brilliant. God-luminous. A proper descendant of Zeus. Not that he certainly is. But he is magnificent enough that he could be. That's the point of these words. So whether Alexander's "seed of Zeus" is poetically accurate or not depends on the context of the full phrase, which I do not have.

Coming back to the beginning, a proof that it was often meant as praise and not always as a literal conviction that the character in question necessarily came from the (admittedly massive) genealogy of Zeus is how common the name Diogenes was in the real Ancient Greek world. All these common people did not actually claim ancestry from Zeus or that they were made of his divine skylight. It was a figurative form of praise, like names usually bear positive connotations.

Now, Hammond's and Fagles' Lord and Prince are way too liberal translations (another way to say they were wrong), however their reasonings are not all that far off. It's not that the terms δῖος and διογενής-ές designate royalty or status but they were definitely praises more frequently associated to nobility and royalty. This is because Ancient Greeks thought that their legendary heroes and kings and noblemen were superior to the mere humans that they were. After all many of them seemed to actually descend from gods according to the Greek myths. They were imagined as mortal humans but with some presumed distant divine intervention in their genealogy that made them more glorious human beings. This is a recurring positive association to nobility and royalty, which in turn evolved into this association of virtuous, gifted common people with a presumed relation to nobility and royalty that I described in the first answer. So, yes, it was commonly used as praise for royalty but no, it did not in itself mean royalty.

From a figurative perspective, Lattimore's "illustrious" is the closest interpretation however it misses on the divine aspect of it, which is the most important. It is unlikely you will find various interpretations from Greek professionals because the understanding of the word is pretty unanimous in Greece. Διογενής as an adjective is not in use in Greek anymore probably due to its direct association to Zeus, however there is the just as ancient synonym θεογενής [descended from god(s)] which also produces proper names such as Θεογένης or Θεαγένης, which mean the same thing except it comes from the most generic term for the god θεός and not specifically Zeus the Sky god (which are interestingly believed to come from different PIE roots despite sounding so similar). The connotations of it being overwhelmingly figurative and designating praise are clear to us because such adjectives associated to divinity ie θεϊκός, θείος meaning divine, god-like etc are very common in Greek and are used very liberally and expressively all the time.

The reason I focused way more on the figurative explanation is because the fact that we get four so different interpretations probably means the context of the phrase wasn't that of a character that we already know that was an offspring of Zeus. And because the literal meaning is so much easier lol

Okay for you and anyone who made it this far, congrats, you made it through a massive post with Greek semantics!

[lisbeth-kk]

December moments

Prompts used in this chapter: resolutions - Auld Lang Syne

Almost everyone who knows Sherlock wouldn’t believe it if they were told that the great detective has resolutions for the upcoming year. If they were to guess what said resolutions could be, they would fail. Exceedingly.

December 30

Sherlock’s phone pings with a text before we get up this morning. He frowns at it for a while, huffs, hums, then sighs and turns to face me. 

“John, I…uhm…”

It’s so out of character for Sherlock to stutter like this, and I worry instantly, which Sherlock assures me isn’t necessary. 

“Not to worry, John. I had a dream just before I woke up this morning, or rather a memory. You remember when Mycroft sung when I played earlier this month?”

“Of course, love. It was the most surprising thing I’ve ever encountered, but definitely a wonderful surprise. What does that have to do with your text?” I ask him. 

“The text is from Mycroft. He’s asking us over for dinner at his chambers at the Diogenes this evening. My instant thought was obviously to decline.”

“Obviously,” I chuckle, which earns me a smile. 

“You know I don’t do resolutions of any sorts, but I can’t help myself. It’s clearly your fault for having put a spell on me or something,” he tells me, his eyes now gleaming mischievous. 

I snort and poke him in the ribs. He grabs my wrist and brings my hand to his chest and rests his own hand on top of mine. 

“Behave, captain,” he purrs, and only those two words, not to mention the tone of his voice, makes my penis instantly interested. 

I beckon him to continue, and I couldn’t have been more surprised if Sally Donovan had sent Sherlock a Valentine card. 

“If you’re amenable, I think I’ll say yes to the invitation. My brother’s clearly serious about him and George, and I think it’ll be a good thing to spend some more time together with them. Besides, the food and drinks at the Diogenes are excellent. Would be a shame to let those two devour it all by themselves.”

I lean over to kiss his perfect mouth and give him my answer while looking down at him, with what probably is a soppy expression. 

“How is it that you’re still able to surprise me like this, sweetheart? Of course, I’ll come with you, and you two Holmes’s can use the evening to practice names,” I say and kiss him again.

***

When I see Sherlock walk into the sitting room all dressed up, I just want to undress him, no unwrap him like the exquisite gift he is. My fingers itch to mess up his perfectly styled curls and I clench my fists and groan. The smirk appearing on that beloved face, showing his dimple, make my knees weak. 

His long legs are enveloped in black, bespoke suit trousers, which end in black polished shoes. My eyes wander up his body, finding his torso covered in a white shirt, a black bowtie and a burgundy jacket with black velvet lapels. I lick my lips and swallow the considerate amount of saliva filling my mouth. 

“You’re staring,” Sherlock rumbles, but there’s no hiding that he enjoys my openly admiration of his attire and general looks. 

“Anyone with a pulse would,” I mutter and deliberately walks in a large circle to avoid the temptation of touching this delectable creature that is my boyfriend. 

I take my time dressing, fully knowing that I’m no match when it comes to Sherlock’s otherworldly beauty, but I will make an effort to look my best tonight. My pinstriped grey suit, white shirt and ivy green tie look rather good on me, and I put a bit of product in my hair and the aftershave Sherlock gifted me on my birthday, complete my business in the bathroom. 

“John,” Sherlock breathes reverently when I come back to the sitting room, and that tells me everything I need to know. 

His eyes roam over me with a hungry look, and I bask in it for a few seconds before I tell him we need to be on our way. I know from experience that if I even took his hand just to kiss it, we’d be lost in the desire to undress and devour each other right here. His disappointment is apparent, but I remind him of his resolution, and mentioning his brother’s name, is enough for him to tear his attention away from me. Not without an eyeroll and a growl, though. 

“Later, my love,” I say and wink at him over my shoulder before I descend the stairs. 

***

Socialising with Mycroft at his club, is not something I ever thought I would experience, but here I am. He greets me with my first name, and Sherlock calls Greg by his in turn. I may have to start believing in miracles if this continues. 

“Myc was over the moon that you came,” Greg whispers while Sherlock and Mycroft discuss the best way to open a champagne bottle. 

“Does he let you call him that?” I ask incredulously.

Sherlock is going to have a stroke when he hears about this!

“Of course, John. He’s my boyfriend,” Greg says a bit affronted. 

Boyfriend. Another word I find hard to associate with Mycroft Holmes. 

Sherlock saves me from embarrassing myself further, by handing me a flute of fizzy champagne. Greg walks over to Mycroft to grab his own glass, and Sherlock curls his pinkie around mine, and bends his head down to my ear. 

“Alright?” he inquires softly. 

“Yeah. It’s just a bit…”

I let the sentence hang in the air, but Sherlock catches up quickly and chuckles quietly. 

“I know what you mean,” he says and kisses my cheek before he straightens. 

We toast our host with the exquisite champagne, and the rest of the evening proceeds quite civilly. As Sherlock informed me, the food and drinks are superb. In particular the veal saltimbocca served with a perfectly matched Italian wine. Even Sherlock eats a fair amount. 

The warm forest berries and egg liqueur ice-cream leave me in a state of bliss, which the cognac Mycroft serves in large glasses, does nothing to change. My hand hangs over the armrest of the comfortable chair; my fingers interlaced with Sherlock’s where our hands meet in the empty space between us. Mycroft and Greg mirror our position and now, after hours being in their company, it doesn’t seem strange at all. 

I feel a bit emotional; I blame the alcohol, and I must swallow hard when Auld Lang Syne plays on the hidden music system. I vividly remember that it was sung by myself and my fellow soldiers before we got on the plane to Afghanistan. Sometimes that day seems like a lifetime ago, but right now it feels like it was just the other day. I close my eyes and lose myself in the memories and don’t realise that Sherlock has stood up and looms over me. 

He reaches out his hands to me and I let him pull me out of the chair and into his embrace. His long arms encircle my shoulders and I place my head on his chest, registering that my face is wet with shed tears. 

“My John. My brave captain,” Sherlock murmurs into my hair while holding me tight. 

Of course, he’s picked up on my mood and the reason for it. 

My brilliant detective of a fiancé. 

Suddenly I feel the urge to be back home; just him and me. 

“Let’s go home, John,” Sherlock says as if he’s read my thoughts. “There’s a car waiting outside.”

Many things can be said about Mycroft Holmes, but his effectiveness is never to be questioned. When Sherlock releases me and I brace myself to face the two men, I realise we’re alone in the room. In my relief, I grab Sherlock’s lapels and kisses him fiercely, conveying all my gratitude and love into the kiss. 

“I love you, Sherlock Holmes,” I whisper when I withdraw. 

“I love you too, John,” Sherlock retorts and strokes my cheekbone before handing me my coat. 

Read it on AO3

@totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @a-victorian-girl @phoenix27884 @safedistancefrombeingsmart @raina-at @gregorovitchworld @helloliriels @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @sabsi221b

[northeasternwind]

Considering writing a short Frogwares Games/Canon (or more likely Granada since then I don't have to deal with Watson's marriage I'M SORRY MARY I JUST LIKE SIMPLICITY) crossover isekai thing where the wave at the end of The Awakened dumps frogwares!boys into a parallel dimension and now Canon Holmes and Watson have to sit here and watch going oh god. We're fathers now

Canon!Holmes: I think a trip to the Diogenes is in order here

Frogwares!Holmes: a trip to the what

Canon!Holmes: WHAT DO YOU MEAN A TRIP TO THE WHAT oh god it's worse than I thought

Poor Sherlock and Watson get to deal with their Cthulhu trauma by obtaining two middle-aged fathers. For literally zero reason I love the fanon that Holmes's father is the one who taught him to box, so he learns that Frogwares!Holmes can't box, immediately deduces half his tragic backstory, goes oh my god you poor child and then realizes holy shit I have an intellectual equal and I can teach him boxing.

Frogwares!Holmes is traumatized but maybe beating up his "older brother" will help. LMFAO.

My idea here is to posit that the fanon "eldest brother Sherrinford" does exist but died stillborn in Frogwares verse, causing the Holmes couple to wait a little longer between babies and making them more demonstrably affectionate toward the sons they did have. Canon Mycroft is as chill as he is because his parents were SUPER detached and he wasn't expected to inherit the estate, so Canon Holmes learns that Frogwares!Sherrinford and the Diogenes club don't exist and puts it all together like HEAD IN HANDS

(Meanwhile canon Watson can say FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T GIVE HIM ANY DRUGS HE DOESN'T CONSENT TO, IT'S HARD ENOUGH KEEPING HIM AWAY FROM THE ONES HE DOES even though I suspect Frogwares!Holmes has a rather different relation with medicine in general OOP)

I haven't even STARTED on Jon yet, lordt