#dinner suggestions

[skyrim-forever]

Worst Places to Jerk Off in Skyrim

In no particular order, as they are all shit in their own ways :P

Redwater Spring

Unless you are a vampire or werewolf then you are getting all the diseases. And if you are a vampire, don't do that to the food??? Unless, you're into that 😏

2. Altar of Molag Bal

I don't even need to say why, y'all already know. If you are so inclined (I'm not kink shaming I'm kink asking why) go to the one in Castle Volkihar at least. Don't do it in Markarth my guy

3. The Dwemer Lockbox at Septimus Signus's Outpost

Okay, this might just be me but it would be impossible to have a good time inside a giant Dwemer mechanism with Hermaeus Mora lurking around. HOWEVER, I am aware I am posting this on tesblr on monsterfucker.com so if you are an enjoyer of tentacles than this may be a top spot. You do you bestie, have fun becoming a Seeker someday <3

4. The Chantry of Auri-El

Gelebor has been through enough

5. Frostfall Lighthouse

You probably don't want to anyways

6. Inside Tel Mithryn with Neloth is there

This also has the caveat as some of you (including myself to an extent) are into Neloth. That said, I feel like he would absolutely destroy you with insults that even if he didn't ban you you'd never come back

7. The Warren

Wahoooo second Markarth location! Incredibly depressing, would not be a good vibe

8. The Chill

It's fuckin cold my guy

9. Yngvild

Also cold but more importantly, Arondil has major issues. The room of dead women, the contents of his journals NOPE I am kinkshaming him

10. The Butcher's murder room in Hjerim

Let's offer the dead some peace since we cannot bring the killer to justice as the quest is always broken!!!

Feel free to add your own picks, we could also do a list of the best places ;)

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[qifreyplushie]

i beg you, eat me up. want me down to my marrow. 💘

[a-clown-with-wings]

Separate ref because I need it for… stuff.

:) I’m so hungry right now.

[notbecauseofvictories]

also I've spent the last couple weeks reading some older historical romance novels, and my made up, wholly unverified hypothesis that in the 2000s romance authors finally grasped that the old-fashioned "no, don't! stop, you brute" etc. scenes were not really landing with audiences anymore. So they faced a conundrum about the future of the genre. Ultimately, I think they chose to quietly stop writing those heroes, and switch them out for a more sensitive model. Still dark and brooding! But with limits, often a Heart of Gold, and more general emotional intelligence.

Still, somewhere out there is a parallel universe where these authors decided to take the opposite approach---to write heroines as unhinged, cruel, impulsive, and emotionally ignorant as their heroes. I don't know if I want to live there, but I wouldn't mind a trip to their library sometime.

[tony-dreams]

I feel like Zoro would be the type to just take his pants off. Like, it’s the only way he knows how to flirt.

[the-one-who-lambs]

gift @bamsara

still png because i don't know why the gif is so crunchy

[1nt3rnalpu7ref4ct10n]

s4e17

[str8upjorkinit]

Finally the moment you've all been waiting for...

200 follower special!!

(...events leading to leos pregnancy)

[winepresswrath]

sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.

[letternotekisses]

If there’s one thing you should never do - it’s make a bet with someone like Mauga.

It was a stupid decision to promise him absolutely anything he could ever want if he beat you. You should have seen the dangerous glint lurking in the crimson of his eyes, the grin curling his lips when he shook your hand - you should’ve declined his offer in the first place.

Note to self - never prank your boss to win a bet. Not only did you lose said bet, but Akande had you on desk duty, too.

Although, you don’t find yourself hating the repercussions all that much. It’s almost hard to stay mad at Mauga when he’s smoothing his palm over your exposed belly, his fingers occasionally dipping down to tease the band of your underwear while he busies his mouth with the plush flesh of your tits.

He makes his way down at an uncharacteristically slow pace, his sharp canines grazing your gentle flesh as he presses open-mouth kisses down your body. Your eyes flit down to find his staring right back at you - a dangerous hunger in his gaze that almost has you kicking your panties off yourself.

Mauga’s hair trails his shoulders when he leans to hook his thumbs into your waistband, pocketing that souvenir for later before he parts your legs, spreading you wide so he can get a good look at you. He opens you up for him, like he’s unwrapping the best birthday gift in the world.

“D’aw, look at that.” He purrs, his head dipping between your thighs to trace his tongue over your cunt. “Soaked. Just f’me?”

Your head is dizzy, pussy clenching painfully around nothing. Mauga’s voice not at all helping your terminal case of horny when all you want is something thick and hard filling you up. He hoists you down his bed by the ankles so that he can sling your legs over his shoulders, grinning down at you in a malicious way that told you that you were likely leaving this room with a limp of some sorts.

“Make the most of it,” You huff, trying to remain indifferent despite the incessant throb between your legs, “After this, I’m never making another bet with you again.”

Somehow you both know that’s a lie.

[thegalaxyinapaperbag2]

messy bobutter doodles + redraw of the esteemed crossover episode (click on images for full quality obviously)

[toxic77340106]

hii, I haven't been super active here and I'm sorry for that. my mental health has been slipping like crazy and I haven't had a whole bunch of motivation to post. here's raiden for now though ‼️‼️

drawing suggestions are appreciated btw !!

[juicezone]

pokemon paci icons (transparent + bg)

free to use with credit AS LONG AS MY DNI IS RESPECTED. feel free to put them on boards, on different flags, ect! Feel free to ask if not sure!

[DNI Banner says: SFW interaction only! DNI if: nsfw/kink, ddlg/varients, anti-lgbtq+, anti endo]

Pokemon Paci Icons: (1: You are here) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

[Image ID: All images are little headshots of the following pokemon in order: Growlithe, Hisuian Growlithe, and Cyndaquil. All three have drawn pacifiers with varying orders of red-orange-yellow pacis. Growlithe is an orange tiger-doglike pokemon, with a transparent and then a purple background (darker purple border, light purple inside, and even lighter purple outline). Hisuian Growlithe is a similar pokemon, though most of its face is taken up by curled tufts of gray fur. It has the same purple background. Cyndaquil has a longer snout, with teal and cream, and fire on its back. It has a yellow background (darker yellow border, light yellow inside, and lighter yellow outline. End image ID]

[feyburner]

Truly truly horrible caring for an aging animal where you need to be so loving and compassionate all the time but also the messes are constant like every 1-2 hours and you haven’t slept through the night in a year bc she’s incontinent now and wakes up to shit and will eat her own shit and make herself sick unless you jump out of bed at 3am to immediately clean it and you feel guilty and anxious every single time you leave the house even if your roommates are there to check on her and it is just going to keep getting worse and worse and worse. Remember when your entire life didn’t revolve around someone being home for the dog and you could leave the house (and write???) for more than 2 hours even if your roommates were gone, and your roommates leaving for a week didn’t mean you’d be stuck in the house for 7 days? And also you weren’t in a constant state of worry and guilt and preemptive grieving? That was so crazy

[tingedautumn]

Thats why he was trying to piss off Charlie in her room when she was crying. He wanted to have angry sex. Dude changed his pose after she said fuck you to him, this is proof, trust me

this is so funny i cannot imagine alastor ever genuinely getting mad at charlie (i'm sure there are scenarios but that's the love of his life? sorry she's cute and perfect always.) angry sex would be charlie keyed up because alastor left bone piles in the lobby again and alastor is getting railed having the time of his life