#difficult breaking into the industry was for either of them

[occasionalsnippets]

I need to know more about fd au reader as robin 🙏 /lh

Main concept

Some assorted miscellany.

If you didn’t think Batman was going to get better, you wouldn’t have allowed Tim to become Robin no matter what. You'd reluctantly give Bruce a B- in parenting. He's not perfect but he's trying which is enough that you're willing to help.

You, through gritted teeth: I know and believe you can be good but this is rotten work, especially to me, especially if it's you, but I'll do it.

Your persona as Robin is carefully curated so that you are almost exactly like Tim. It’ll get annoying if people get confused about there being two different Robins running around at the same time so it’s easier if you just pretend to be the same person. You fill in enough times that putting on the Robin uniform automatically makes you slip into “Tim-Robin” mode which freaks a lot of people out at how uncanny it is.

You can perfectly imitate Tim's voice.

Despite your efforts pretending to be as similar to Tim as possible, it’s not totally perfect, obviously. You’re- a bit scary actually. You make the right quips, make the same distractions and appear to be exactly the same as “normal Robin” but it’s just… something is a little bit off. You’re always watching. Maybe you’re just the Robin that takes after Batman’s demeanor the most.

Part of what adds to the whole “hmm something is up with Robin 3” is that sometimes people will be like “I definitely saw Robin break his arm yesterday so how tf is he okay and patrolling today???”

Tim is still a better detective than you are but you’re no slouch either. You did not squint at gritty photos of crime scenes from three different newspapers and reconstruct doll house versions of them with dollar store craft supplies so you could teach 9-year old Tim how to analyze crime scenes just to become a “mediocre detective”.

During the early Robin 3 days, Batman used to accidentally call you and Tim, Jason. He’s also called you Tim on several occasions.

You take the Robin role during Batman’s “bad days” early on in Tim’s run as Robin because you’re able to handle to worst of it. Batman is… relentless, cold, terribly uncooperative on those days. He didn’t want another Robin and you’re well aware of how he lashes out at the two of you because of it. You don’t want Tim to go through the worst of Batman when being Robin is supposed to be something good. What are you meant to do if not protect him?

Wrangling Batman is difficult. You spend way too much time pulling him aside to say “You need to pull back on your punches. If you land them in the ICU again I will be ending this patrol early.” Although just having a Robin beside him makes things better, it doesn’t mean it’s great by any means. Depending on how much he pissed you off, you enact various punishments upon him such as making all his coffee decaf, helping Alfred make his least favourite foods, shutting down the batcomputer so he can’t work on cases and so on.

Overtime, as Batman gets better, you fill in less often. It's also because around this time you get very busy running Drake Industries.

You get on Commissioner Gordon’s case about how many cigarettes he’s smoking. All these Robins and you're the first to look so disappointed in him.

You have gone on patrol several times and no one noticed it was you and not Tim. It’s funnier not to correct them until you de-mask at the end of the night and reveal that it was you all along.

Sometimes you and Tim just swap in the middle of the night.

At the top of a lot of contingencies, there’s a note that just says “if (Y/n) inexplicably has an answer or solution, believe them and follow what they say”

[sweet-honey-fruit]

Shameless promotion for my ao3 fic. I’m uploading the Prolouge so Tumblr can get a little snippet. I saw like one or two mistakes in there, cant find them, so. If you do let me know and I’ll fix it.

Sanctuary

Just when you wanted to give up, to throw in the towel and lose it all, an opportunity arises for you in this merciless industry.

You find yourself becoming the manager for the newest hot K-pop band, Saja Boys. It’s hair-pulling and fulfilling all the same. You’re starting to feel successful, safe, and secured, until a lingering truth threatens to break free. The sanctuary you once found is on the verge of becoming a war zone.

You may find yourself in the bitter, brutal world once more.

Prolouge:

Each day you regret responding to that ominous letter that showed up at your doorstep a couple of months ago. Was it a bad idea? Absolutely. Did the lectures of ‘stranger danger’ flash in your head from all of those deranged school assemblies in elementary school? The entire time you walked to the address written on the envelope. However, a job is a job and you need one. Desperately.

The competition was exceedingly high in South Korea considering the number of idols and bands on the rise. They were either being snatched up by big-time record labels or flocking to the big-name managers already established in the industry. Very few want to take a chance on someone fresh, new, and young. The inexperience frightened many, who wanted to make it big as soon as possible and did not even want to think about giving new blood a shot. Yet blissful dreams lead to sorrowful ignorance of that fact when you moved out here despite your family's strong disapproval. Between adjusting to the culture shock and putting yourself out there like a desperate clearance sale, your aspirations were being chipped away day by day.

Rent was getting hard to keep up with. The fridge was painfully understocked. You could only survive so long off of toasted bread with chocolate sauce drizzled over it for dinner. Right when you were about to give up. About to throw in the towel and say fuck it, they were right, it’s not worth it, it’s as if your prayers were finally answered. You were just about to go to bed when you felt this deep inner pull towards your apartment door.

Fidgeting with the broken door knob — cursing under your breath at how impossibly difficult it was to open the damn door — you threw it open with a huff. There on the floor was a blue envelope. A magpie sticker keeps the letter inside encased, a slight sheen caught in the hallways lighting showing off the expensive-no- no, it was just wet. Why was it wet??

With a semi-disgusted face, you opened it, eyes skimming over the contents. Each word your eyes widened more, and more, and more. Your heart was pounding rapidly in your chest, feeling it tug as if it was begging to jump out of your ribcage to run off the excitement.

A job offer.

A real job offer and not one of those scam ones. Hopefully.

You squished the letter in your hands, grinning ear to ear and jumping back inside the shitty apartment as to not wake your neighbors. You had practically run to the couch, grabbing the nearest pillow, and screamed into it to let it all out. The stress, the relief, and the excitement were all exhaled into a screech that latched onto the rough cotton of the throw pillow.

You dropped it, taking a deep breath to settle down. It’s only an offer, it’s not official. No need to get your hopes up.

Too late.

You hadn’t gotten any sleep that night. Too busy tossing and turning with bubbling exhilaration that maybe, just maybe, you bagged a break in this ruthless industry. Maybe you don’t have to go home defeated and face the “I told you so,” after all. You didn’t even question how the letter got there, who put it there, or what caused that magnetizing pull towards your front door to check it out. You were too relieved. Too desperate to get a source of income. Too ambitious to achieve your goals and damn it that letter was your ticket to proving your family wrong. Those questions seemed meaningless at the moment.

Perhaps you should’ve questioned more.

Seriously, why was it wet?

The address was..sketchy, to say the least. It was tucked away within the center of the shopping district. A depressing brick building that was just about five stories high. The sun could barely fight itself over the towering buildings around the city to shine even a sliver of light on it. You looked down at the letter, then at the front door that looked sketchier than yours. The portfolio that was being hugged to your torso crinkles with how rigid your body becomes. You were just about to walk away when it cracked open by itself.

You blinked.

Honestly? That’s a sign if you have ever seen one. A job is a job you remind yourself. With a small shrug and a “Whatever,” you walk in. Cause honestly, you were either going to die from starvation with the lack of funds, or die in this suspicious true-crime vibe building where there was a sliver of a chance of there being an opportunity inside. You liked those odds.

You push the rest of the door open, stepping inside and good fucking god you’re blinded. No need for the sun when there’s enough vibrant color within to make up for it. It was the exact opposite of the spectrum than what is being portrayed outside.

Hues of blues, purples, and pinks contrast with each other along the walls in various designs and patterns. Bright, cool light blasts down from the ceiling, an overhead light placed damn near every four steps. Mirrors lined with the opposite wall, your perplexed expression reflecting back at you. The space was huge and open, no doubt the designated space for rehearsals. To the left there’s a staircase, and to the right an entryway leading into a much dimmer hallway.

“It’s like Hello Kitty blew up in here.” You mutter, squinting your eyes as you eye the hallway.

“I was going more for a translucent pastel vibe.” A voice speaks up and you scream, the sound reverberating off the walls of the rehearsal room. Your hand clutches over your heart and you snap your head over to the staircase from which it came.

A tall, deviously handsome black black-haired man stands on the bottom step with his hands up in surrender, looking just as terrified as you did. Your labored breathing evens out with a shaky exhale.

“That was my bad.” He says with a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head.

“What…is translucent pastel?” You ask, trying to buy yourself some time to calm your racing heart. He stares at you for a second as if he were also pondering that answer. Which, by how he looked as equally scared and confused as you, he probably was.

“Ah you know, like-..This,” He steps off the last step and motions to the overly vibrant room as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

It wasn’t. These colors could barely count as pastel but this might be your future employer so you smile and nod. He clears his throat, tugging at his shirt collar as he turns to you with a grin.

“So! You’re the recruitment- ah, I mean, potential new hire!” His eyes shift to the side, collapsing his hands behind his back with a strained smile. So this was the right place. He seemed nice enough. Something about him was captivating, inviting. Perhaps it was how hot he was paired with his silly attitude. Or his enticing aura. Or his chiseled jawline, perfect hair, sexy body- you rapidly blink your eyes to snap out of it. Now is not the time for that.

“Uh, yeah, I got the letter.”

“Great! Any experience?”

“Well not technically BUT-!”

“Perfect! You’re hired!”

What? Your eyes widen and your mouth drops open. Hired? Most people kick you out the moment they catch a whiff of inexperience, but somehow that’s the reason why you’re hired? You couldn’t wrap your head around any events that took place since last night. The silence of your shock must’ve lasted a lot longer than what was socially acceptable since he was waving his hand in front of your face.

You snap out of it, locking your attention back onto him.

“Sorry! Sorry, I’m just shocked it was that easy. Don’t you want to look at my portfolio or get to know me a bit more before- not like I’m not grateful! I am, I’m just confused cause like- you know, like? I don’t even know your name so…uh, you know.” You ramble, closing your lips tight to knock it off. You feel the inner embarrassment rise rapidly as he just looks at you. The longer he looks the more flustered you are radiating off. Then, he laughs, and it does something to you. Almost like it’s a sedative for your head.

“Why would I? Your consistent advertisement for yourself is enough proof of your ambition. Not to mention we’re both new figures trying to make it big out here. Why not give you a chance?” His smile was warm and his words were heavy. Not in a bad way, but more like a weighted blanket. Heavy in the sense of enveloped comfort.

Finally, Fucking finally. Everything paid off. You were just about to cry tears of relief but took a deep breath to ground yourself. You can save that for later.

“When can I start?”

“How does right now sound? The name is Jinu, by the way.”

[guilty-pleasures21]

The bodyguard

Sorry this took a while ... 😅

Bodyguard!Jason x Actress!Reader

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Warning: intimate touching.

---------------------------------------------------------

     “Jason!” X yelled as she sank onto the sofa with her tub of ice cream. “It’s on! Quick!”

     He sighed as he walked over to the sofa and took a seat at the opposite end to her. “You know, you don’t pay me enough to watch this.”

     X shot him an exasperated look. “Then start paying me rent.” 

     She’d hired him as her bodyguard about three months ago and she liked to think that they’d at least become friends in that time - hanging out at secluded restaurants in the middle of the day, watching trashy reality shows after dinner, sneaking off to the supermarket at midnight, when no one would see her. She hadn’t known anyone in Gotham when she’d arrived - she’d only gone there to shoot some scenes for her latest movie, after all - and it was nice to have made a friend along the way. She shuffled closer to him, searching his person for a spoon as she held the tub of ice cream out to him, then she sighed when she saw that he hadn’t brought one. She handed him the tub with an exasperated look, then got up to go get an extra spoon.

     He lowered his head as he accepted the tub, trying to hide his smile. He hadn’t planned on this being a full-time gig when he’d applied for the job. Tim had suggested it to him when they’d been playing video games one night and though he’d scoffed at the idea at first, he’d slowly become convinced by it: being the temporary bodyguard of the quickly rising starlet while they filmed in the area. It seemed easy enough - a perfect fit, actually, considering all his martial arts and weapons training. And it paid pretty well too. Plus, she’d started letting him stay over at her apartment once she’d gotten more comfortable around him and he had to admit that he didn’t hate her place. He glanced up at her as he accepted the spoon she’d returned with, trying hard to not let his eyes flicker to her chest, but she just sat back down beside him, oblivious to his near lapse in self control. He’d expected her to be beautiful, of course - you didn’t become the heroine of a movie without having some sort of physical charisma that drew people to the screen. But what he hadn’t expected was how down-to-Earth she’d be: kind and welcoming and always ready for a laugh. That was the part that was starting to wear on him. He slid his gaze over to her as she scooped up a bite of ice cream, her features illuminated by the soft glow of the television. She snickered at something someone had said and he smiled softly before letting go of his thoughts and settling in to watch the show with her.

     “Cut!” X held in a frustrated groan as the director yelled for them to stop - again. They'd been working on the same stupid scene for the last hour and she still couldn't get it right! Either her moans were too loud or she was wriggling around too vigorously or her expression wasn't ‘lustful enough’. How the hell was she supposed to know how to fix that last one?! She stayed on the bed for a moment long, delaying the inevitable scolding she was about to receive. Finally, she sucked in a deep breath and sat up.

     The director pinched the bridge of his nose and took a moment to consider his next words.

     “Let's take a break,” he sighed finally. “I need a drink.” He stalked off the set before anyone could approach him, grumbling quietly under his breath. X's co-star turned to her in amusement and held a hand out to help her off the bed. 

     “Thanks,” X said as she accepted Sam's help. But she was careful to avoid his gaze as she covered herself back up with her robes: he'd acted in scenes like this a hundred times already, having been in the industry long before she had, and here she was making his job unnecessarily more difficult.

     Sam shuffled awkwardly in position, trying to figure out how to comfort her. It was pretty obvious that it was her first time doing a sex scene, but she was so sweet and so hardworking and he didn't think she deserved the constant scolding she'd been receiving from the director. 

     “Don't take it to heart. You're doing great!” He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder, but she kept her head lowered as her cheeks warmed with embarrassment.

     “Right,” she mumbled, unconvinced by his kind words, before retreating to her dressing room.

     Jason followed after her, concerned by her dip in mood. The director hadn't said anything that didn't seem true, but he still felt like punching the guy in the face for making her feel so bad about herself. He locked the door behind him after entering the room, wanting to give her a little privacy, then he joined her where she was standing by her dresser. X remained hunched over the table in silence and Jason rubbed his jaw while he waited for her to speak, suddenly noticing how hard he'd been clenching it whilst she'd been working on that scene with her co-star. Was it really necessary to include a sex scene anyway? It didn't do anything to further the plot. And this was a soon-to-be Hollywood blockbuster hit, not some undistinguished piece of pornography buried deep in the archives of the internet! He unclenched his jaw - again - and inhaled slowly before clearing his throat. “X?”

     She sighed and slumped over her dresser table, defeated. How was she ever going to get her big break if she couldn't even act like she was in love with someone?! Well, ‘love’ was probably the wrong word - she was fine at acting in love. It was the ‘lust’ part that she was struggling with.

     “I just … I just …” She covered her face with her hands as she turned to face him, her entire body heating up with shame. “Ugh! This is going to sound so embarrassing!”

     Jason raised an eyebrow as he folded his arms across his chest, but he waited patiently for her to continue. X sucked in a few breaths, gathering her courage. Then finally, “I’ve never … I’ve never done it … before …”

     He furrowed his brows, confused by her vague revelation. X looked up when he hadn't responded, wincing in anticipation of the look on his face. But he just looked … confused. 

     “Done what?” Jason asked when she didn't elaborate. X's eyes widened, surprised that he didn't get it.

     “You know …” she insisted, her voice growing softer and softer with each word. “Had … sex …”

     And now it was his turn to have his eyes widen in surprise.

     “Oh! Okay …” He took a moment to consider her confession … but it didn’t make any sense: she was so hot! So pretty and so sweet. How the hell had no one ever tried it on her before? “Why?”

     “Why?” X repeated, her tone incredulous. “What do you mean ‘why’?”

     Jason shrugged, then gestured to her general being. “I mean … you’ve either got to be really picky or just … have crap taste in men.”

     “What?” X narrowed her eyes at him, puzzled by the statement. Jason waved away her concerns.

     “Never mind. It’s not important.” 

     An uncomfortable silence soon settled around them as they both tried to figure out what to say. Then X decided to break the tension. “Have you … done it before?” 

     Her heart thudded with nervous anticipation as she waited for his response. She wasn’t sure why, but she was terrified to hear his response: to imagine him with some other woman when … when she’d never been with anyone before. But what did it matter to her? It wasn’t like they were … dating or anything. The thought didn’t stop her insides from twisting with unease though.

     Jason pursed his lips in thought. Had he ever been with anyone before? Given himself over to someone like that? Been so intimate with them, allowing them to see all his scars and his pain and his vulnerabilities? Of course not! No way in hell! “No.”

     Now it was her turn to be surprised - even as a wave of relief washed over her at his admission. A wave of relief she didn’t want to acknowledge given that he’d never indicated any interest in her whatsoever. Not as anything more than a friend anyway. “Why?’

     Jason shifted in position, starting to get uncomfortable himself. 

     “Because of the coma?” he reminded her. That was the lie he’d told her: that he’d gotten into an accident a few years ago and then spent the subsequent time training himself back to peak physical health. She'd wanted to learn more about it, but he'd said that he still wasn't comfortable delving into all the details, so she'd left it alone. She was so compassionate like that.

     Her features light up with realisation. “Oh! Right! Okay. Cool.” 

     She nodded to herself as a spurt of delight rushed through her at his confession and Jason raised an eyebrow at the smile he noticed she was trying to hide from him. He studied her for a moment, her features pinched with nerves, then an idea sprung to his mind about how he might be able to help her. He ran over to switch off the lights, plunging them into darkness without any explanation.

     “Jason!” X hissed, lowering her tone to what seemed appropriate for their new situation. “What are you doing?”

     He took a moment to let his eyes adjust to the sudden lack of light. Then he began making his way back to her. He pressed her back against her dresser, placing one hand on either side of her. Then, before he could regret his decision, “use me.”

     Her heart thudded in her chest at his suggestion. He couldn’t really be offering what she thought he was offering. Could he? “W-What?”

     “Use me,” he repeated, gesturing to his body before he could lose his nerve. “Use my body. Get to know what it feels like. I won’t … I won’t kiss you. Or touch you! If you don’t want me to. Just imagine I’m someone you really like and just … just get to know what it feels like.”

     His voice grew soft as he imagined what it would feel like; having her soft body pressed against his, her expression dazed with lust, her sweet voice moaning his name desperately. He leaned over her, focusing on his breathing to try to slow his rapid heartbeat, and waited.

     She raised her hands and carefully placed them on his shoulders. Was that why he’d switched off the lights? Because he hadn’t wanted her to see his face? Because he didn’t know that the only person she really liked … was him? She turned her face to the side, trying not to inhale the clean, masculine scent of him that made her stomach flip. “But … why?” 

     He could see her gaze flicker up to his now that his eyes had properly adjusted to the dark and shit, she was cute. With her round eyes and her curly lashes and her rosy lips that quivered with nerves. F*ck. He was regretting his decision already. “Because you’re too good of an actress to let something … stupid like this hold you back.”

     He really thought she was a good actress? X smiled with delight at the praise, not realising that he could see the way her lips twisted at the ends. “Okay …”

     She inhaled deeply, slowing down all her internal processes, then she fixed her gaze on his lips. He’d said that he wouldn’t kiss her, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t admire how soft his lips looked; imagine how they would feel against hers. She slid her hands down his chest and her stomach somersaulted when she felt his abdominals clench at the same time that he let out a soft gasp. Holy shit, he was hot.

     Shit, shit shit! What the hell had he been thinking? Offering himself up to her like that?! He liked her - he really liked her - and he’d become comfortable enough with her to want to know what it would feel like, having her hands glide across his bare skin, her lips caressing his scars, her body pressed up against his as they explored one another with equal caution. X traced the outlines of his abs through his shirt and another gasp escaped his lips as her fingers hovered dangerously close to his suddenly aching centre. She curled her fingers around the waistband of his jeans, biting her lip as she thought about what she’d like to do next, then she wrapped her arms around his waist.

     “Sh-Shit …” Jason breathed. He gripped onto the edge of her dresser as she snuck her fingers beneath the hem of his shirt and glided them up his back. God, it felt good being touched.

     Wow. She could feel the muscles in his back rippling as she trailed her fingers along them. She'd always admired the way they'd flex whenever he was teaching her self-defence or when they were working out together and she couldn't believe the day had finally come when she could get to feel them herself! She leaned forward, tugging him closer to her at the same time, and her lips landed on the collar of his shirt. She curled her fingers against his back, frustrated by the interruption, then she slid her hands back down to his waist. “Jason … Can I take it off?”

     He sucked in a breath at her hoarse whisper. She’d said his name - she’d used his name even though he’d told her she could imagine him as anyone she’d ever wanted. This was getting dangerous now - it was getting real. He nodded slowly, then realised that she couldn't see him very well in the dark. So instead, he bent over to murmur in her ear. “Okay.”

     Her stomach fizzed at the slight nerves she could hear clouding the gravelly tone of his voice. He sounded so cute when he was nervous! Was he as nervous as her though? And for the same reason? Could he really like her like she liked him? She slid her hands up his torso to take his shirt off and her chest tingled as her fingers brush over the curved planes of his body. He laid his hands back on the dresser once she was done and she took her time trailing her fingers across the defined lines of his abs.

     His stomach tightened at her featherlight touch and he gritted his teeth against the feeling. He closed his eyes as she pressed her lips to his collarbone, not wanting to think about the fact that it was her who was kissing him, touching him so intimately, so gently. But then she ran her hands up his back and moaned softly against his chest and his brain went numb for a second at the sound of her pleasure - at the feeling of her luscious body pressed so tightly against his. F*ck, she felt good. 

     She whined as he started moving his body against hers, his stiff cock pressing against her throbbing hole. God, she needed him - she needed him so bad! With his soft voice and his beautiful eyes and that one smile he only ever reserved just for her. She moved her hands to the back of his neck and let out a choked gasp when he rolled his hips against hers. “J-Jason …”

     “F*ck,” he muttered under his breath. He picked her up like she weighed nothing at all and set her down on her dresser so she could wrap her legs around him. X untied her robe and sighed with relief at the feeling of his bare skin sliding against hers. She closed her lips around the soft skin at the crook of his neck and dragged her fingers down to his shoulders as she sucked on him carefully. Jason let out another soft curse and X giggled against his neck before licking and sucking her way up to his ear.

     A gravelly moan rumbled out of his chest as she slid her fingers into his hair and began teasing his earlobe with her tongue. In response, he lowered his head to her shoulder and grabbed her ass in one of his hands, squeezing her tighter against him and causing a soft squeak to escape from her lips.

     God, she could feel herself getting so wet between the legs as he rubbed himself against her front. X wriggled her body even more vigorously as her desire for him crescendoed, trying to slide her underwear off so there were less layers separating them. “Jason! Jason!”

     “Shhhhit.” He pulled back to look at her and his gaze immediately fell to her lips, parted with desperation as she rolled her hips against his. He bent over to press his mouth to hers, unable to take it anymore … Then someone knocked on the door and they both came crashing back down to reality.

     “Miss X?” one of the PA'S called through the door. “Are you ready to start shooting again?”

     She looked up at Jason with an expression of both horror and embarrassment. Then they both scrambled to tidy themselves up. She avoided looking at him as she raced over to the door, but she hesitated before unlocking it. 

     “ThanksJasonIreallyappreciateit!” She yelled the words all in one breath then ran out the door and back to the set.

     He stayed in the dressing room for a little longer, trying to process what had just happened. His body still burned in all the places that she’d touched him - all the places that she’d run her hands over - but she’d just been practising right? He started making his way back to the set as well, but he couldn't shake the little voice in his head that kept pointing out to him how she’d said his name.

     Sam’s chest heaved with shallow breaths as he looked down at X in shock. Shit! How had she gotten better so quickly?! He could still feel the adrenaline buzzing through his veins from the way she’d trailed her lips along his neck as she’d run her hands all over his body. F*ck.

     She furrowed her brows, confused by Sam's reaction. She glanced around at the other staff, bracing herself for another barrage of criticism … but they were all staring at her with the same expression. She turned back to Sam in question and he shook his head slightly before shooting her a grin.

     “Cut!” the director finally exclaimed, pulling everyone out of their reveries. Sam stood up and offered a hand to X, helping her get off the bed.

     “Was I … really that bad?” X asked, cringing as she let him pull her to her feet. Sam smiled. She was pretty cute when she was curling into herself shyly like that. And funny too. He hoped they’d continue to be friends even after filming had ended.

     “No!” he replied quickly, rubbing her back reassuringly. “You did great! You’ve got to tell me your secret: how did you manage to improve so quickly?!”

     X grinned at the praise, then her stomach dropped as she considered the answer to the question. It took everything in her to stop herself from looking over at Jason, standing at the edge of the set like he always did. He was always there when she needed him. Even for things that were definitely not in his job scope. 

     “Thanks,” she told Sam, letting her hair fall over her face to hide her blush. But eventually, she turned to glance at Jason, unable to resist the urge. Her heart sped up in excitement when she saw him already looking at her, his moss green eyes dark with lust. A shiver ran down her spine and she wrapped her robe tighter around herself as she pulled her gaze away from his. “But … Do you mind if I go change first?” 

     “Oh! Yeah! Right!” Sam tapped his head like he was silly for not having thought about it himself. “Of course. You want to grab some coffee after? Jason can come too.” He gave her bodyguard a friendly wave and Jason responded with a nod of greeting.

     She gulped at the mention of his name. But wait, this was a good thing! If Sam was there, then she wouldn’t have to be alone with Jason so quickly!

     “Oh! Yeah! I’ll ask him!” X shuffled over to him and fidgeted with her fingers awkwardly as she stopped just in front of him. “Um, Sam was asking if you wanted to get coffee?” She flicked her eyes up to his and bit her lip as she waited for his response.

     God, she had the most beautiful eyes: big and dark and framed by thick, curling lashes. His eyes fell to her lips and he swallowed hard as he remembered how soft they’d felt against his skin. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

     He dragged his gaze away from her and clasped his hands behind his back, reminding himself again how she’d called his name as she’d run her hands all over his bare skin. 

     “Great! I’m just gonna go get changed.” She scurried off to her dressing room and some of the tension eased from his body. Shit. How the hell had he f*cked things up so badly?! Argh! He was such an idiot!

[the-impulse-to-love]

so. house veridian and feathered host

ive been thinking more n more ab the "divide" betwen house veridian and feathered host. and with the two songs off of EIA about the consequences of fame, i'm inclined to believe it relates to that.

more specifically:

house veridian represents the desire to push forward with the band; they must "endure" feelings of burnout

vessel (and the others ofc) care about the fanbase. this much is evident from the music and rituals. something something damocles something something him apologizing for not always being able to deliver his best. he wants to deliver out of love and care, but it's difficult since he's ultimately a person who struggles with his own problems and stress. nonetheless, he's trying to endure.

"the house" can also refer to the fanbase and community. collectively, we have to endure any setbacks or incidents within the fandom (such as. the whole thing with caramel) by reflecting and improving our behaviour as fans. for instance, respecting the band's boundaries which is something they explicitly asked for in caramel. hell, the house might collapse if we can't get our shit together.

the idea of fight (fight vs flight). fight is actively engaging with the issue at hand and figuring out how to beat it/work around it.

so, "enduring" is more so figuring out how to overcome negative thoughts and make the whole process (songwriting, touring, etc) more healthy for everyone involved. bc it's clear with damocles and caramel that it is taking a toll on vessel (and the band).

whereas

feathered host represents the desire to stop; the desire to "break the cycle"

the cycle in this case likely refers to what vessel described in damocles: "and i play discordant days on repeat / till the tape runs out on me," or he has to replay his struggles in his mind to adequately write about them. this is obviously draining.

it can also refer to music industry itself and consumerism, in which artists are often treated as a mere tool to pump out content and generate revenue. we know that sleep token also has some sorta exclusive licensing deal with rca, likely meaning they have more control than the standard artist with their work. (good for them!)

however, it's still a cycle of consumerism and the band is expected to pump out songs and go on tours and whatnot, both by the fans and the music industry.

so, breaking the cycle could either mean stopping the band altogether (which. i honestly don't think will happen for the foreseeable future. this would be in a very literal sense). rather, i think it is finding a better way to navigate making content in which the tiring cycle is broken, or at least minimized so it takes less of a toll on everyone involved. breaking a cycle doesn't mean the extreme option has to be taken.

as for tying into the idea of "flight" (fight vs flight), it would mean escaping the problem at hand which. isn't a bad thing. it's alright to take a step back and take a break, yk?

and i don't think either of these are ultimately Bad Decisions, you know? it wouldn't really make sense to have the fans vote like that for either as well...

instead, i think it's a struggle to find balance between the two ideas.

how do you sustain something you care so deeply about even if it drains you? do you stop altogether? do you take a break? do you just push on and hope it gets better?

if this idea is true, i don't think there will be a clear "winner” with the two sides. rather, they're two ideas that can coexist, but it's just a matter of how.

how can the band and community be sustained/endure while breaking the cycle of consumerism and creative exploitation?

and it's a collaborative effort. we, as fans, have to sorta realize how to be more respectful towards the band and understand that they're ultimately People.

so. basically i'm inclined to believe this might be the theme of EIA. obviously, we still have seven songs left (maybe even the bonus tracks) but. Just A Theory

[g1rlken]

┏ 𝐅𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 ┐

1. Part, Alex turner x actress!reader

summary: ugly break up and working together

warnings: smear campaigns, Twitter incels, award season, depression

word count: 4.8k+

-

Relationships become a hurdle of choreographing well being when you’re going through a difficult period in life. The one person that’s supposed to be wholly yours becomes another face to mask with. Empathy feels good for a week, two weeks, a month. As the days would stack up it would just feel like a customised emotion, a weight. That’s how y/n felt, her relationship with Alex had seen a lot of ups and downs over their year and a half together. A lot of fights, long distances, miscommunications but it never weighed them down nor their relationship. They always came back stronger after a set back as such. However such shaky career hurdles were only ever seen by Alex, writer’s block, studio pressure, album press, billboard charts, the critics it was a coin toss on fate and he’d often land on the difficult side. But he had a lot of years in the industry and a well composed mind to these things.

Maybe her issues were difficult, Hollywood is eitherways a harsher ground for women. Especially the acting industry, she was facing method acting allegations by one of her elderly costars of old fashion. Not that method acting was concept of bad light in modern day cinema but the characters of the show were very demanding maybe some bitterness towards y/n however she never paid any mind to those when it started. Even her costars all took it lightly, the method acting questions started coming up in almost all promotions, either that or her relationship. She handled that with grace too, all until the emmys. The Emmys where she won one, a shining star in the tapestry of her young career. Amidst her speech a stand up show host had a set organised. Seemingly she wasn’t priorly informed about it being found dumbfounded on stage. In front of everyone, the same joke of being an alleged method actor made an imprint on her first ever Emmy. Everyone present just laughed like they would through a normal set, they laughed at her, she felt like the world ended. After that function she felt increasingly uncomfortable with herself, a laughingstock. Twitter was divided like it always is, she would just focus on those who added to the joke. Witty jabs. Variety articles behind y/l/n’s Emmy fiasco.

Alex tried. Alex tried really hard, he forced screens away from her. WiFi in their house only for certain hours and he’d supervise it, weekend getaways for her almost every weekend. She just seemed to not escape it, losing her appetite even. Alex was the cook between the two of them, meals would take hours and hours for her to get it down and he would sit with her without a complaint. He loved her truly unconditionally and he was aware it was genuinely hard for her. Such smear campaign was very hard to escape. When she started having sleep issues as well he forcibly suggested therapy. Y/n truly believed she wasn’t meant for therapy, she wasn’t ’therapy audience’ and he consoled her very hard into joining it. Eventually she did and it just added to the shitshow. Apparently the therapist found her difficult to work through, it lasted barely 2 weeks and the therapist referred her to someone else. It became public and her therapist’s statement was “The most difficult patient in all of my career.” Maybe it was the amateur hour for the therapist or maybe it wasn’t meant in a better light but social media smear campaign treated it like a festival.

As weeks progressed everything else seemed increasingly difficult. Especially Alex. Seeing his life, his new normal which would start and end with her well being and nothing would change with her mental state either. Alex was giving out so much of himself yet she couldn’t find it in herself to actually smile even. That guilt was worse than everything else. She let that guilt consume her for a while until she finally decided to do something about it.

That evening, after dinner she finally put a stone on her heart and decided to lay that conversation to him. Guiding him to sit across her on the sofa of their shared place she took his hands into hers “Alex, no one else has stood by me the way you have, these two whole months. It’s the worst thing that’s happened to me perhaps ever and you’ve been with me through it. Just how the cliches say it-like my rock.” She said patiently “I feel like I’m not making any progress but if it weren’t for you I would’ve been at a worse place and” she took in a shaky breath before continuing a long pause following something Alex had no idea of.

“Just how you’ve been around for me.” He said holding her hands in his right her “And what we are isn’t for cliches or for saying y/n, I love you and despite of you being at your lowest as long as I have you, I have all I need. We’ve had rough patches before we’ve been alright and we will be even-“

“Just…just let me finish yeah?” Y/n interrupted him looking down their hands because looking into his eyes which carried soft love was so much harder. “You’re giving away too much of yourself. You don’t see it but I do, you’ve made my well being some sort of a passion project of yours and I understand you want the best for me I really do. But I have to look out for you too, and, I feel like this isn’t fair to you. We’re not working out…we won’t.”

A very long silence followed as Alex stared at her comprehending that, “what?” he huffed in denial “what do you mean?” He asked as if it would change what she meant.

“Alex…” she brought his hands closer to her “you need to do better in life, better than this. You have so much potential to give out, into yourself, into your career and you’ve spent so much on me already. I can’t keep you for me like this…we should…part.”

“I am passionate about you what do you mean passion project? I am in love with you and I want to help you. Just how you’d help me don’t you see it? So you don't get to decide that for me and my potential. It’s mine.” Alex stated firmly.

“Exactly. It’s yours! You’re pouring it all out into me—you’re draining yourself-“

“None of that is for you to decide!” Alex stopped her sentence midway leaving her hands out of his to run his hands through his hair out of frustration.

“Fine…” y/n seemed bad with confrontation and she didn’t want to paint herself out to be a bad lover in his history books years from now but she didn’t know how else to not do that. He was hurting unknowingly. “But this is for me to decide and I have. W-we need to..” she couldn’t even find it in herself to finish that sentence. “Break up.”

“No.” Alex stated so casually like she just asked her a very simple question, as if it was a question. “No we do not. We don’t need to do any such thing.”

“Alex…” she sighed looking away, his denial was breaking her heart. Tears formulated her eyes as she thought about how much this will hurt him.

“What Alex? No: I’m refusing.” He shrugged, very nonchalantly shrugging. Declining her wish as he didn’t even look at her.

“Alex please” she said as she gently cupped his face to look at her, “you don’t realise this…you have been putting yourself through so much for me. This-this is difficult I know, but you’ll be better after this.”

“Y/n, listen to me” he shifted in his seat to face her. “You don’t get to decide this for me. You are going through a tough time and I will not leave you.”

“You haven’t written a piece in two months..you don’t even go to the studio. You barely leave me alone to work with anything else!” She pointed out, all these bits of his habits were vanishing out and she had noticed it all. Being an early riser he’d go for a run around the block but nowadays he’d just time how many hours she had slept because of her issues. Time her vitamins and supplements. Plan things with her and only her as if he wasn’t supposed to have a life of his own.

“I have a writer’s block!” He exclaimed growing increasingly hurt and frustrated that this is how she viewed him helping her. She sounded like a burden to herself but he had never considered one to himself and he hated that she felt that way.

“Because you’re so occupied with me!” She exclaimed back with a sigh rubbing her eyes and looked away, uncrossing her legs on the couch.

“That’s just your assumption y/n you don’t know how my process works and you shouldn’t come to conclusions about things you don’t know.” Alex tried to reason with her even if she was right he couldn’t care less. She was important to him and she needed his full attention.

“Could you please just listen to me Alex…I don’t want to stay within this-“ y/n replied trying to find the right words.

“With me. You don’t want to stay with me.” He rephrased her sentence giving it to her as raw as he fathomed.

“Yes.” Taking in a deep breath she finally let it out because he wasn’t listening to her without brutal honesty. “Yes I don’t.”

“That just isn’t true-that’s not right you’re too tired today that’s all.” Alex replied, he wanted to point it maybe she was also hungry but he kept that for more persuasion.

“Alex, please.” Y/n breathed taking her head in her hands because none of her reasonings got into her head.

He just shook his head in response as the silence weighed heavy between the two of them. Tears streamed down her face as they sat there, Alex was more fine with this tension than he was with being without her. “We just can’t…y/n.” Alex said.

“I’m really sorry” she said as she looked back up at him teary eyed. The tears seemingly made everything difficult for sure. “It’s going to be alright…” she wiped her tears and looked away again. His sad gaze was so gutting to look at and talk at the same time it felt like it would stick with her, hauntingly, even after she leaves.

“But it’s alright already” He urged shifting closer to her and wrapping an arm around her trying to meet her eyes but she kept her gaze fixated at the coffee table.

“That’s what you want to think” she said softly with a heavy heart. “I don’t want to do this either Alex…it’s for the best.”

If it were for the best he wouldn’t be feeling his heart sink lower and his breath shortening. His vision becoming fuzzy already as tears brimmed in his eyes as well. But he wanted to handle this more delicately. “It isn’t, you know it isn’t.” He sniffled. “This isn’t what I want and I know it’s not what you want either, why do you feel this way? This need to run?”

“I’m not running Alex” I’m setting you free, she didn’t say out loud “I’ve been thinking about this a lot and…and this is going to hurt. It will hurt for a while but you’ll get over it.”

“Get over you? Y/n I don’t plan on leaving you” he said still drowning in denial. Stern denial and blind faith he could fix this mess, if he talked to her more. He could fix this mess, if he asked her sleep on it. He could fix this mess, if he held her closer. So he did. “Y/n look at me, look at me.” He forced her to face him. “This isn’t a rational solution. You are going through so much and you are thinking too much but this is a mistake. What we have is bigger than our problems-“

“Alex.” She stopped him midway, staring into his teary eyes with hers the same “This is my problem. You try to make to make it ours, helping me through it is one thing but this is taking up too much effort and energy in your life don’t you get that?”

Alex had never felt this defeated all his life. No reasoning seemed to get to him. He couldn’t digest that she let such thoughts mature for about a week and never once preferred to talk to him about it but just became sure about it. When the fact that she felt so distant from him to not even bring it up brought him to flowing tears. Taking his face into his hands he cried. Breaking down, y/n never saw him like this and she had seen him go through supposedly tougher situations. “You can’t do this to me” he said, his voice parched and eyes red.

The thought of leaving the next day in the morning, sleeping in different bedrooms and hugging him a goodbye at breakfast was so done now. If she didn’t leave now she won’t be able to leave ever. Just holding his face in her hands as her tears streamed down her face reciprocating his. She couldn’t even muster the courage to mouth a sorry. She glanced away at her keys and wallet by the side table. It hit her like a truck when she realised there won’t be a goodbye tomorrow but today. This very moment. She slowly got her car keys and wallet and put them on her side. “It’s going to be okay…” she said sighing. Cupping his face in her hands as he reciprocated the action holding her hands and staring into her eyes.

“No it’s not” he replied with heavy grief laced in his voice. Why wouldn’t she do anything to change this? Why would she let it be this way? He felt helpless to how she firm she was about this. He placed his lips onto hers holding her closer by her waist as she cradled his face. It time were to stop he’d prefer death over letting her go. As they kissed he realised how temporary this moment will be and how this memory will bite him with sharp teeth of yearning. He couldn’t stomach the thought that she would be a memory. Visit him in nostalgia and come up in conversations and that would be all?

Eventually she pulled away from their kiss, wiping his tears with her hands as her own surfaced her face too. His dreary eyes had such an effect upon she couldn’t bare it and she softly kissed him again. His hands would still not let her go. As moments passed in holding each other and the kisses broke she realised it was time. “Goodbye, Alex.” She spoke with a voice barely above whisper because the sound of her voice breaking was louder.

His eyes widened as he realised she was leaving, now. He had barely come to terms with the fact that she was leaving. He held her hand back as she tried standing up. “You’re leaving?” His voice broke as he asked that. Y/n didn’t have it in herself to answer him what he already knew she just looked at him apologetically. Apology she knew she didn’t deserve at this very moment. “You can’t just leave right now-think about this. Sleep on it, if you still want to go leave next week?”

His negotiations seemed to know no bounds and the bargain was to get him nowhere. It would probably make him worse if she stayed. If she stayed after this. “Alex-“

“You can’t even drive in this state y/n absolutely not-if you want a break from me we could just sleep in separate bedrooms I won’t bother you-“ he tried to come up with all possible alternatives.

Her heart sank further realising how further he'd go just to make her stay. It solidified her decision of her leaving because he would always chose her above himself, even at the expense of himself hurting. She had to love him enough to let him go. “Alex…” she breathed stopping him midway “I have to.” Shaking her head she stood up to leave but didn’t see him stand up at the corner of her eyes. Somewhat relived it wouldn’t be harder to walk out that door perhaps. As she clutched her keys and wallet she felt a tug at her leg.

Looking behind to see Alex on his knees for her, it was perhaps the worst sight ever her tears reciprocating his again before he even spoke. “Y/n I beg of you please don’t go” he said as he wrapped his arms around her legs, on his knees weeping for her.

Trying to remain balanced on her footing against his grip, “don’t do this” she pleaded as her voice broke and she knelt to his level. “Please don’t make this harder.” She cried choking on her words and held his hands. Alex held her hands back very tightly.

“It doesn’t have to be hard at all” he spoke through tears as she sat close to him he brought her closer naturally settling onto his lap. As she cried and wiped his tears more just streamed down his face, “We can make it out of this y/n please, trust me please have some faith in us”

The desperation in his voice, the tears and his words it was all so gutting. This would me one of those moments she would perhaps never recover from. If she ever finds happiness again she felt like it would be at the expense of this, it would be hard for him. Very hard, but he would do so much better if she left. It was evident how much he was willing to give even to the last moment, it was concerning. “You can’t love someone this hard” y/n held his face in her hands and told him sternly “I am very miserable and I’m bringing you the same pain-over and over. This is it Alex. You won’t hurt again at the hands of me and I’m sorry it is this way…” she told him. He had no words but tears to shed. He sat absolutely defeated with her entangled in his arms. Neither he said anything nor did she.

Y/n held him back wrapping her arms around him giving him a hug or maybe hiding his teary face from herself and likewise. Rubbing his back as she hugged him sitting upon his lap. He buried his face by her neck holding her close. If the world were to end he wouldn’t care because it already did for him. The thought that this was probably the last time she would be in his arms like this made his agony worsen.

They just held each other for almost a whole hour, her head resting by his chest as they sat intertwined. The silent and slow understanding of the end. Some picture frames on the coffee table and the wall ahead, somewhat blurry because of the tears, those memories came back so much clearer. There will be no more and these will just remain pictures. Alex let out a shudder of a breath at that thought. “Where will you go?” He asked her in a tone just above a whisper.

“To my dad’s.” She replied softly without looking back up at him nor attempting to shift away from his grip. Last of his warmth. Theirs.

“He was just starting to like me…” he spoke as a soft chuckle escaped him through the tears and y/n’s followed. He would often joke with her that her dad ‘hated him’ because he was rather stern to him and she would always tell him otherwise. In truth he may be but what did it all matter now? He looked down at her in his arms when she let out a little laugh too but then quivering, broke down in his arms. He kissed the top of her head with silent consoling and holding her with the last of his love she’d let him give her.

The night wouldn’t last forever just like them and she finally left. With much courage and a heavy heart out of his arms and then their shared place. Alex couldn’t watch her leave and he did not. The last glimpse he caught of her face before he kissed the top of her head. He would think back to this for a long while and he wanted to remember her beautiful face and not her leaving him. She left and the door shut, on their house and their life together.

-

A job is a job. However excruciating and beaten down, it finds you on your face but you’re bound to return. Y/n did as well. Over half a year, she started working again. Lived with her dad to make a comeback to the one place that would have ever even after everything. Her career made a turn eventually the Twitter smear campaigns wear themselves out. Talent comes through in Hollywood despite its vice like grip over its finest stars. Y/n’s project worked out, she avoided the award season despite being nominated but she did walk promotional red carpet for her new project. Time heals.

Time is subjected to heal everything even with some ignited hatred if that be to overcome the hurt. Alex, he grew to despise y/n. The first few months hurt so much, everywhere in the house he’d find his things even after she collected them. There were pieces of her everywhere. Their pictures were what hurt the least. Even after he moved out of the place whose sunrise constantly reminded of her absence of his arm. He kept finding her things everywhere. The longing could surround him for long until he turned all of that sadness into a harsher emotion. It was difficult to teach himself to decline her thoughts, hate her. But he did and that’s when he wasn’t as sad.

When the devil can’t reach you it keeps you on Alex turner’s bad side. Or perhaps send you to him. Just as now, y/n was doing her friend of years, Richard, a favour. Moreover Richard pleaded and begged her to do so. He was making a music video for the arctic monkeys and the studio’s PR team members wanted y/n specially or pull the cord of the entire project. Since her career was booming it would be perfect publicity for the upcoming single and her history with Alex. Y/n would rather not indulge in such at all, especially with Alex. Richard assured her that Alex wouldn’t even be on the set for the music video and it was set in Ireland’s grasslands. Too far for Alex to attend anyways since he wasn’t in the music video.

First day on set after she lands there y/n finds herself treated with warmth with the core team. The operator, the camera team, the crew most of them were faces she’d previously known. Everyone ‘glad’ to see her working again was a comment she was irked with for a while ever since she’d returned to working. They always said it in a comforting tone as if she’d was coming back from jail or so, such patient like sympathy was difficult but not anymore. Very comfortably used to it. Superficial condolences in the best way perhaps.

“Missed you fuckface!” She laughed as she hugged Richard on the set and he joined along. Hugging her back, they’d met after a long while.

“I did too, you jerk.” He laughed and ruffled her hair a bit, she nudged away in response and their inside jokes kept ongoing. Through the conversations it swayed back to being on set and Richard worked her through the video.

“This place is so remote I’m so glad you agreed because nobody else would’ve come this far and Alex wanted just you.” Richard mentioned as he talked her through the cinematic of it.

“Wait, Alex did?” Y/n asked furrowing her brows together. Richard had stated to her that Alex wouldn’t be there at all so him wanting her for the video, ‘just her’ was somewhat unbelievable.

“The record did…it’s kind of the same thing.” Richard replied.

“It’s not” she shrugged given she knew the context conversations between Alex and the record from when they were together. “I’m just so glad he’s not here”

“He’s not a bad person you know” Richard accounted for him thinking the breakup was his fault given how rigid y/n was not wanting to sign up for an AM project.

“Oh no of course not” he’s an angel, she didn’t say out loud. Alex kept whatever happened between them through the break up private. He didn’t even paint her out like someone who wronged him to their mutual friends, when he could’ve done so.

“Then why do you have such a problem with him being here?” Richard asked with voice laced of confusion and curiosity.

“I don’t have a problem just too much-“ drama? Bad memories? Good memories? Regret? All too much perhaps.

“Well that’s great then because he might be here.” Richard spoke hurriedly despite his promise he was just making the video he couldn’t dictate who could and could not be on set. Especially not the lead singer.

“What? What do you mean?” She asked with a dejected scoff, she believed him when he’d promised that Alex won’t be on set. “What do you mean here Richard you told me-“

“I mean here as in he may be around but he’s here for now-“ Richard fumbled with his words mentally preparing for the telling off y/n would inflict on him soon enough.

“Here as in?” She asked raising sharp brow at him crossing her arms.

“As in Ireland…” Richard trailed off and took a cue to hastily add the next information as she took in a sharp breath “Could also be on set”

“On set?!” She exclaimed “right now?”

“I’m not sure okay I don’t know-the video script had some changes and he was needed for some pretext or something. Also, y/n. He’s written this song, it’s his band—I can’t just say no to him if he wants to be on set.” Richard explained. The bickering went on back and forth for a while until a voice from behind broke them.

“Richard!” Alex exclaimed as he paced up to the man, all colour drained and also made her flustered when the air shifted with Alex’s hasty walk to Richard who she stood right beside. Alex greeted Richard with a hug. “This is a beautiful location, fantastic work yeah?”

“Ah thanks mate.” Richard said with a smile as they made a small talk about the set and think pieces. He tried to include y/n in the conversation too but Alex didn’t once look to the side as if she wasn’t even present there. Richard talked about some of the crew to Alex and then, wanting to relay it slowly. “And y/n, you know her of course”

“Right yeah” Alex scoffed and made a somewhat bothered expression, irritated in an instant. He did so as if she truly wasn’t present there. Intimidatingly he stood with his hands on his waist, leather jacket, the classic Alex. Soon enough without casting her as much as a glance he took his leave from the conversation.

She wasn’t ready for this conversation, not that it was a conversation at all. Y/n’s little ‘hi there’ was blatantly ignored by him too but it was all expected. She had planned to not cross paths with him but hypothetically after all that went down she had anticipated him being cold like this. She wasn’t mentally prepared for it, not today. However she didn’t hold it against him by all means he had the right to act this way. Even if she wanted to be somewhat offended by his harshness his pleading face, desperate tone, begging her not to leave on his knees all of it just came flooding back to sink her in regret. If the roles were reversed she would want to be far away from Alex and that’s what she would grant him. Keep her distance.

“So…” Richard trailed off pulling her out of her train of thoughts to talk about the unsolicited harshness. To an outsider, the breakup had been almost 6 months ago and neither of them made any big grievances about it so it was all very odd.

“Don’t.” Y/n shook her head not willing to go into this discourse.

-

I’ll do a few parts to this series let me know if you want to be tagged ;)

Comments and thoughts will be so so so very appreciated please please please let me know

[fakeagatha]

Rule Breaking | Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal & Alice Wu Gulliver x Jennifer Kale | Agatha All Along Week - Bonus Day Eight: Cops & Robbers

Summary: Rio and Agatha end up sharing the same prison cell. Agatha helps guide Rio through her first night in prison.

A/N: I didn't think I would enjoy AAA Week as much as I did. Thanks to the people who hosted! Also, writing this oneshot made me consider writing a prison series?

Warnings: Swearing Word Count: 1609 Genre: Fluff, Romance, Crack Date: 26/5/2025

Agatha All Along Community

@agathaallalongweek

Agatha was startled as her cell door was suddenly thrown open. She looked up from her bed to see Gulliver unlocking the handcuffs of another woman. Agatha's eyes widened, to see none other, than Rio, her wife.

"Rio!" She exclaimed, standing up, before Alice put her hand up, signalling her to stay back. She scoffed, crossing her arms as she waited for her to finish up and leave. As soon as the door closed again, Agatha slammed her body against Rio's pulling her into a hug.

Agatha had been arrested for scamming people, and Rio had helped her. She honestly thought that they either didn't charge Rio, or she had been sent to another prison. It had been a whole week since Agatha was sentenced, and she was starting to lose hope until that very moment.

The cell that they would share had two beds, each having a nightstand, one desk, and a crappy toilet that was also a sink.

"I thought I lost you." Rio sighed, holding Agatha's face in her hands, looking into her eyes. Agatha let out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding, and ran her thumb over Rio's knuckles.

"Does this mean we get to share? What the hell were the chances of that even happening?" Agatha laughed, but it was clear that there was still some worry hidden behind her voice. The two were startled by a sudden buzz, signalling lunch time.

"Wait till you get a load of the shit they call food." Agatha sighed, pulling away from Rio as she guided her to the cafeteria.

On duty was Sargent Alice Wu Gulliver, accompanied by Jennifer Kale. Jen hadn't been in the industry for long, a couple months at most, so Alice made sure to keep an eye on her and always stayed nearby, as she still had a lot to learn.

"That one was being so unbearable during the pictures," Alice whispered to her girlfriend, pointing towards Rio, "I had to be on standby in case she attacked anyone, but it took them ages to get her to stay still."

Jennifer chuckled, adjusting the collar of her uniform, "What was she doing? Just trying to make their jobs more difficult?"

"I don't know," Alice sighed, "She kept pulling faces a few nanoseconds before the camera clicked. They had to keep retaking them until she got the timing wrong." 

Jennifer shook her head, smirking as she observed Agatha and Rio take a seat at one of the tables, and it was obvious that Rio was completely disgusted by the abomination on her tray. It looked like what seemed to be mashed potato with peas, and sausages?

"I'm a vegetarian!" She heard Rio cry out as she poked at the meat with her fork, "I'm not eating this."

"More for me then." Agatha grinned, taking the three sausages off of her plate.

"Hey! You said you'd go vegetarian with me!" Rio frowned, looking up at Agatha with betrayal.

Agatha snickered, "I know and I was, until we came in here. I would've starved to death by now if I only ate the rest of the food since I came in. This alone doesn't fill me up."

Rio sighed and shrugged, "I wonder how long I'll last..."

Alice and Jennifer looked away from the two. They had seen so many different women come in and complain about the food, whether it be dietary or religious preferences, and a lot of them ended up just eating whatever was given to them after a few weeks. It was true, the food that was served was the bare minimum to survive, so they could pass the legal requirements and be able to spend as less money as possible. Not only that, the process of getting approved for a different meal could take up to a year, God help anyone with allergies.

"Why don't we go to that new place that opened in the plaza after our shifts? My treat." Alice offered, and Jennifer beamed.

"I'd love to! I've been eyeing it for a couple days, it looks great!"

The intercoms buzzed again, signalling that all prisoners should be back in their cells. Rio groaned, and joined Agatha as they dropped off their trays. They walked together back to their cell. 

"Now what?" Rio sighed, making herself comfy on the hard mattress.

Agatha smirked, shaking her head, "We sit here. Until dinner."

Rio groaned, throwing her head back, "Imagine if I was here with some total stranger. We'd have to sit awkwardly for hours!"

"Yeah, I think I'm starting to prefer it before you moved in." Agatha said jokingly.

Rio glared at her, then began looking around the cell. "What did you do here?"

"Well..." She paused, glancing at the walls, "I had a couple books and some pencils. I drew on the walls sometimes and wrote down notches for different activities I did. It got boring after a while, though."

Rio sighed, following Agatha's gazes around the room. There were still two books on the desk with three pencils and a few papers scattered around, but that was it. "How are we supposed to get commissary items if without money?"

Agatha bit her lip, looking over to her wife, "Well, I guess we could always do favors for people, who in return could buy us something from there." She explained, "Or I could even tell Billy to call up and put some credit on. Can't expect him to pay for it, so I'll tell him where our money stash is."

Rio raised an eyebrow, "Don't you need to pay to use the phone?"

"Damn it."

The two conversed for a few hours, coming up with solutions. Surely Billy would come and visit at least once, right? He's the only person who might be willing, as there was zero chance Lilia would step foot in the building. Even with each other, they couldn't survive that long with nothing to do all day, they had to buy more things to entertain themselves.

The buzzer finally went off again, and Rio sprinted out of bed, making Agatha laugh. She discreetly took Rio's hand, and they made their way back to the run down cafeteria.

For dinner, they were serving what looked like spinach pie and beans with orange juice. The combination made Rio gagged, and Agatha shoved her shoulder, "Don't let the chef see you making faces. She'll starve you."

"The prisoners make the food here?"

Agatha nodded with a smirk, and Rio rolled her eyes. They took their trays and sat down at the same table as before. Agatha took a mouthful of the pie, and hummed. "It's actually not so bad."

Rio grimaced and took a bite herself, before somewhat agreeing. "I guess not. I hope the food isn't crappy for the whole nine months I'm in here though."

Agatha gasped, "You got nine? I got a whole year." She sighed, "But I guess you were just the accomplice."

Meanwhile, Alice and Jennifer were eyeing down the prisoners, looking at their details to pass the time. "Her braids are cool." Alice whispered, and Jennifer nodded.

"Hang on... Is that a piercing in her tongue?" Jen pointed in horror, and Alice quickly moved to pull her hand down.

"Shh, could be. I pretend not to notice. Healing piercings suck and I don't want to take away someone's hard work so I just... Turn a blind eye, if I see anything shiny." She winked, and Jennifer gasped in mock offense.

"Breaking the rules, Gulliver?"

"Guilty."

It turned out that surprisingly, Rio was eating Agatha's leftovers. Despite the different food not looking appealing together, it tasted alright if eating one part at a time. "What other stuff do they server here?" Rio mumbled, a piece of spinach falling out of her mouth.

"Well I've only been here a week, but so far breakfast normally has bread, cheese, ham, milk and sometimes cereal with a fruit." She spoke, "Lunch has peas, broccoli or carrots with sausages or chicken that takes ages to chew, and potatoes or rice with juice." She sighed, "Dinner has beans or a vegetable again with hashbrowns or, as of today it seems, pie, and more juice. Don't know if there's any more variety or not, we'll be discovering that together next week."

Rio sighed, wiping her mouth off with a tissue, "At least the juice is nice. Hashbrowns sound awesome though!"

Agatha laughed again and nodded. The buzz rang out through the building again. They got up, left their trays, and headed back to their cell. It was nearly lights out, which meant they had to sleep and make no noise, something that Agatha knew Rio would find difficult.

Agatha helped Rio set up her bed so she could get the most comfort out of it, helping her position the pillow in the perfect way and tucking the blanket in the right corners. Rio got into bed, and groaned loudly at how stiff everything was. 

The lights in the block dimmed, and Agatha pressed her finger to her lips. The guards came by with their flashlights and Alice came into their cell, shining the light in both of their faces while pressing her clicker, and left.

"What was that?" Rio mouthed.

"Making sure everyone's here. The device is the counter, one click equals to one person." Agatha whispered back.

They heard the main door slam, and everything went silent. Rio shifted in her bed, and not even a few minutes later, she quietly got up. Agatha turned her head to see what she was doing, only to feel another weight press onto her.

Rio climbed into Agatha's bed, propping herself up on her chest, and closed her eyes. While Agatha knew they could get in trouble, but she remembered that the guards didn't often come in at night, and wrapped her arms around Rio tightly. If they got caught, maybe they would be spared.

[girlfailureblog]

I LITERALLY WORK IN SUPPLYCHAIN AND LOGISTICS - AN OPINION ON THE DAN AND PHIL IRL MERCH SITUATION

Hi guys, I have been following the dnp / irl merch situation that's currently unfolding and as someone who works in end-customer supply chain, I think I could bring a relevant opinion to why I personally think there are issues with the orders from a picking/delivering standpoint.

I WANT TO CAVEAT THAT THIS IS 100% PURE SPECULATION! I DO NOT WORK FOR IRL MERCH, I DO NOT KNOW THEM, I LOVE DAN AND PHIL, I JUST WANT TO SHED SOME LIGHT ON HOW COMPLEX THIS STUFF CAN BE!!!!!

So, from what research I've done, there seem to be three core issues:

production delays leading to delivery delays

picking errors

damage

Let's break it down.

Production delays leading to delivery delays

So, production delays happen. From a logistics perspective, there's really not much you can do on your end, so I can't really speak on this specific thing. However, logistics and customer service should be proactive about communicating this to customers. It's completely normal in this industry to not give details as to exactly what has gone wrong with production, as the customer doesn't really need to know. But the customer should be told as soon as you know there's going to be problems, so expectations can be managed. From what I've seen, it seems like IRL merch are only getting in contact after customers have raised concerns, which is Not Epic.

2. Picking Errors

A 'picking error' is basically when incorrect stock is chosen from the warehouse and sent to the customer. Again, this can happen for a variety of reasons; the warehouse might be semi-automated, stock may have been receipted incorrectly, blah blah technical stuff. From what I've seen regarding the photocards, it could be one of two issues: either stock was picked from an incorrect rotation, or the stock itself was receipted incorrectly. What this means is that either stock was taken from the wrong places in the warehouse when the order came in, or the stock was stored incorrectly when it arrived at the warehouse, and has been picked and delivered without people realising that it was stored incorrectly. Personally, my money is on option two. If that's the case, it is a nightmare to unpick because it's caused by a cascade of miscommunications, but it can be fixed. Just unfortunate that stock went out to the customers before it was spotted.

3. Damage

Damage is unfortunately inevitable. Hauliers mess up, warehouse staff mess up, postmen mess up. You can have all the safeguards in the world and shit still happens. I once had a whole pallet tip over inside a truck and all the boxes were so damaged that we had to send them back for repack, and even then some stock couldn't be salvaged. Damage sucks all round, for everyone involved.

The only thing you can really do about damage is mitigate. So, having a robust returns policy, clearly communicating with customers, exploring the least costly options for redelivery etc. And it can be really difficult to figure out exactly what's happened if damage is reported but CCTV on all loading points is coming back clean - you do need to properly verify whether damage claims are legitimate before refund/redelivery can be organised. Investigation also takes time, because you're relying on multiple people to get back to you with The Evidence. So just sucky sucky sucky. But good customer relations helps a TON.

I think overall, the IRL Merch drama boils down to poor communication. Logistics and end-point fulfilment is really complicated and if you don't have adequate experience, it can become a shitshow real fast. I've seen some people on twt be really harsh about this, which kinda sucks because they don't have the full picture, but also I totally understand because how would you know if you don't work in the industry?

It seems that from a structural level there are some end-to-end processes that need to be restructured, which is a long-term fix. And perhaps because the key stakeholders involved don't have that industry experience, they're reaching for short-term solutions first as a stop-gap measure, but with the timescales in fulfilment that's just setting you up for further issues down the line.

So I think all around it's a really complicated situation. I do believe IRL Merch are trying their best, but I think they'd benefit from clearer customer communication, and a structural overhaul. And maybe if it's really really bad, a pause on operations just so they can get their bearings.

That's just my two cents, and as I said, PURE SPECULATION! MY ENTIRELY SUBJECTIVE OPINION! I COULD BE COMPLETELY WRONG!

[shmowder]

In case you missed it, Game Rant did an interview with Nikolay Dybowski about Pathologic 3. Here is the link for it.

And here are the bits that stood out the most to me:

Q: The non-linearity of time and how it will be related to the nature of the Town are also core story components. How did this affect design and direction?

A: Connecting non-linear time with a long, narrative-heavy story that involves many characters and cause-and-effect chains would be extremely difficult. We focused on what the player feels in the moment rather than on gathering information in the right order. The latter approach works well in shorter formats like Her Story or 12 Minutes, but in Pathologic, it would be overwhelming.

We wanted players to feel like “everything, everywhere, all at once”—similar to Billy Pilgrim in Slaughterhouse-Five. Different versions of reality coexist simultaneously, creating a “quantum” feeling for the player. Look at the time travel mechanic as an opportunity to correct mistakes, or even to make deliberate mistakes in order to unlock new paths and ideas. It is like a "sanctioned save scum."

-

Q: Conversely, how will it (Pathologic 3) connect to and consider the events and characters in Pathologic 2?

A: Consider it as two subjective retellings of the same events. This is the same Town, the same twelve days, the same participants and events that occurred in the Haruspex’s story. But this is a different perspective. Like two witnesses recounting the same event in Rashomon, the stories vary greatly, each focusing on different details. Finally, we always give our heroes the right to make honest mistakes, forget, and even lie. Every narrator is an unreliable narrator.

-

Q: How did Pathologic’s previous philosophical explorations help inform or play into the narrative and themes here?

A: Everything we now see as true and valuable, we’ve kept. Everything we’ve outgrown, like childhood clothes, we either reimagined and reinterpreted to give these ideas new meaning, or let go of them. After all, we’ve grown a lot (hopefully, along with the industry). When I first conceived Pathologic, I was 21 and completely alone. Now I’m 47, surrounded by incredibly talented people who enrich this universe as much as I do, and that makes a difference.

We’ve kept the idea of the tragedy of utopian projects. We kept the idea that the plague is a voice of the natural order—one that the thinking human mind cannot accept—and that it has its own truth. We retained the belief that evil cannot be defeated with its own tools or outplayed on its field; yet it can be defeated realistically in a different, orthogonal way. In another dimension.

-

Q: It’s mentioned that the Bachelor is searching for an immortal man in Pathologic 3. Can you say if this is in reference to Mark Immortell?

A: No, there’s no connection between Simon Kain (one of the town’s rulers) and Mark Immortell (the director of the town theater). Mark is a clown. He awkwardly mimics Simon, parodying him, which is why he takes on this pseudonym. He's fully aware that he’s a jester, and the gesture itself is ironic.

-

Q: What do you hope players will take away most from Pathologic 3?

A: The hope that humanity remains a promising and capable species.

-

Also, new game pictures and screenshots dropped:

(some are old ones I forgot to post)

[monimolimnion]

skyshuffle [PRSK april fools shuffle unit set in color order!]

Card sets and lore under the cut! 🔽

notes to start:

all the groups are idol groups with different goals and subgenres! mostly I just don't like coming up with new musical performance genres bc they always run too close to what already exists, and also I'm an idol fan by trade, so it's just easier for me to think of. I did try and avoid outright copying any of the existing units' concepts because I think that's boring LOL but some of them did end up running a little close anyway, despite me making them all idol groups to avoid that. oh well.

this was inspired by this super cute fanart series from twitter drawing all the Blue characters together, and I got super inspired to make similar groups for the rest of the cast. (unfortunately i had to split the blues in half </3 too many. blue domination.)

the Sekais for these units are also linked! I imagine in-game that they're in related/interlocking pockets of the overall dimension, and that breaking through them would be either the end of the April Fools event, or a year 4/5 end to their running storylines.

here they are, in reverse order, for reasons that will become apparent.

pink: ⓢⓤⓟⓔⓡⓛⓘⓜⓘⓝⓐⓛ

Luka, Emu, Kanade, Airi, Kohane; the Dusk Sekai

superliminal evolved from the same theater program as in·di·GO (below!), after emu failed to secure funding for it to continue. she is faced with an overwhelming sense of everything ending, but buries her feelings behind a smile.

kohane, naturally, is a big fan of the limited-run theater program, and to her surprise so is fallen idol airi, who she vaguely knows from school but has never approached before. the storylies weaving into music are something that has made airi feel a bit less bitter (that the industry that chewed her up can still make art that means something). kanade visited the show on its very last night via a hospital program giving her free tickets (which honami lightly forced her to use) and fell in love with the way music along with a story could move her more than just music alone.

together at dusk after the program's very last showing - all people left in the wake of other peoples' dreams - they fall in typical Untitled fashion into the dreamscape of the Dusk Sekai and eventually resolve to carry forward their feelings of quiet yearning, the feelings of liminal spaces and forgotten places, and honor them just as much as the louder ones. in doing so, they start a series of popup shows in strange and mysterious locations, often unannounced or teased with ARG-like social media posts, and with a much stranger and harder to follow storyline (for the diehards). this evolves into a very strange idol career for the group, all aiming to inspire conflicting and difficult to name emotions, and to leave a safe space for them to be kept.

blue/purple: in·di·GO

KAITO, Toya, Mafuyu, Rui, Mizuki; the Midnight Sekai

in·di·GO are ~night time~ idols, vtubers with extensive in-universe lore. like niigo, but for extroverts!

their group evolved from the same program as superliminal. it was an interactive musical theater / escape room program with long-running and evolving storylines that Rui was running out of Phoenix Wonderland. Rui looped in Toya early, knowing from school his classical background and having a Directorial Hunch that he was a talented composer and one able to adapt to the genre-spanning and improvisational needs of the show. a late-night escapee Mafuyu falls into the world of the theater program after sneaking out of home late one night, and quickly becomes a regular fixture once she realises that putting on a mask deliberately (in order to roleplay within the safe improv of the shows) starts to ease something held very tight in her chest.

before long the theater program was sadly closed, but the characters became so beloved that even after their run people searched for more content of them. inspired by the fans' persistence, Rui asks Mizuki for help, knowing her experience of online communities and graphic design. together with Toya and Mafuyu, who has long since graduated from dedicated follower to cast member, they pooled their knowlege together and created Vtubers for the original characters, adding one for Mizuki to perform with as well.

Rui manages the tech and backend for the vtubers, as well as managing any AR concerts they put on. Toya provides music and together with Mafuyu works on the storyline and character motivations as things evolve. Mizuki manages their social media and crafts intricate storytelling and lore videos, with Toya and Mizuki both keeping tabs on different areas of the fanbase to see how things are being recieved.

for Mafuyu, being able to become someone else, but of her own volition this time, becomes a safety net, and a way to explore emotions and express herself while keeping her true self safe. and for the others, the group becomes something similar, as well as a way to look out for the forgotten fans of the original theater production: carving out a space for night owls, oddities, and those who can't wear their true face in public.

blue: unlimitedSKY

Miku, Nene, Haruka, An, Ichika; the Blue Sky Sekai

an idol group centered around the "search" for something; this is more of an extended metaphor in terms of their idol work, but each of the members also has someone or something that they yearn for and strive to find, as of yet without success.

haruka convinced an to try idoling with her due to her apparently endless search to find a partner. the setup is similar to vbs wl2, in which kohane never overcame her shyness in order to take such a bombastic stage as vivid street requires; an never gave up on trying to win her back, but with haruka's encouragement decided to try and inspire her lost partner in a new way. she tries to see becoming an idol as another vector of achieving their shared dream.

haruka, while more tight-lipped about her dream, is in search of the figure from her fes card, and has braved the idol world again despite what happened with ASRUN in order to try and find them, and to inspire and protect others along the way, in the same way her hero did for her.

nene retains her fraught relationship with the stage, and is trying to build a different relationship with performing in order to reach the heights inspired by the mermaid performance she saw as a kid. in becoming an idol, she's trying exposure therapy while avoiding musical theater itself; getting stage experience while trying to stay as far from what she knows (and what triggers her) as possible.

ichika became an idol in search of miku - yeah. lol. - but specifically in search of a way to understand and express her emotions in the same way miku evokes in her. she longs to be able to understand her own feelings in a way that lets her release them in her voice, the same way miku can be a conduit for her own and others' feelings.

the group comes together when haruka becomes stuck ruminating, on feeling like she's unable to help her friends the way she is, and can't get rid of the nagging thought that she once had everything she wanted and just couldn't hold onto it. on a whim, she invites an to sing with her at karaoke, and an's vivid-street-given ability to pull feelings out of her opponent in singing/combat not only overwhelms the room's soundproofing and somehow involves innocent bystanders (nene and ichika, who were there by complete coincidence), but also unlocks something in haruka and an both. a shared knowlege of the feelings of frustration that come with having an open sky visible end-to-end and room to go in any direction you want, but still feeling like there's something beyond it that eludes you; wanting something that is by definition unreachable or invisible.

unlimitedSKY coalesces around that feeling, and aims to give not only themselves the strength to reach into infinity, to believe that not even the the sky is the limit, but their fans as well.

yellow: twin//tails

Rin & Len, Tsukasa, Saki, Shiho, Shizuku; the Daylight Sekai

twintails, obviously, has a twin & sibling theme; this incarnation of the Kagamines are explicitly twins (compared to VBS's partners and the other more ambiguous versions), and the storylines revolve around what it means to support each other as family. i slightly cheated to switch nene and shizuku here so i could make this happen, because their two colors are so borderline. but i actually like how nene looks with the more saturated group anyway tbh and pairing nenean is always funny

despite being a yellow group, their arc color is more of a yellow-green, and comes to symbolise new life, growth, and budding emotion - shizuku learning to let shiho grow, even if that means growing away from her, extends into a full metaphor & growth vector for all the sibling pairs as their storyline progesses.

Tsukasa retains his Tsukasa-Isms, given that their childhood inciting incident at the musical remains unchanged, but things take a slightly different turn when Saki leaves the hospital and doesn't seem to bounce back the whole way immediately (*this is normal actually). she loves his attempts to cheer her up, but seems happiest when things are just normal. scrounging for ideas, he takes her to an idol concert instead, where Saki mentions idly that it'd be nice to sing like that. Aha! thinks Tsukasa. He takes out his phone and starts googling How To Make Sister Idol?, and whoopsiee presses a song called Untitled and whoopsiee Shizuku got both her and Shiho lost after the show and ended up bumping into them right as they were going in--! (I couldn't think of any better ideas at this point. if anyone has suggestions for these last two, please shoot! the connections are sparse between the cast of these last two groups)

red: BREAK→DAY

MEIKO, Honami, Akito, Minori, Ena; the Daybreak Sekai

the unit of Whole Assing Your Dreams, Fuckers!

sunrise -> lantern/light theme -> light in the darkness -> emphasis on fighting for life and the fact that dawn WILL always come if you are stubborn enough.

this tenacity is what binds together both the shinonomes learning to use their clashes for good, as well as minori and honami learning to take charge of their own lives despite their setbacks and strive for what they want earnestly and aggressively (when required!)

i imagine the inciting incident here is Akito, in the absence of running into Toya by chance, still wavering on whether he wants his goal enough to commit to it. then him being challenged by Ena, who declares she'll just have to beat him at singing if he's going to be such a little weenie about it. they strike up a rivalry, for the first time having somewhere to direct all of the energy they waste sniping at each other, and peace somehow miraculously reigns in the shinonome household.

aaand somehow minori and honami get involved and it becomes an idol thing. i really don't know how at this point because honami has no idea who any of these people are pre-canon and even now only really knows ena lmao.

i had to swap the color order of the units so that people reading this from the top would still think i'm cool for at least the first half....

give me ideas if you have them!!!!!!!!!! i really like these units and i want to tumble dry them in my mind some more, but also it's way more fun to think of things with others.

[marvelwitchergilmore]

I'm In Love (With My Best Friend)

Summary: Peter Parker x Fe!Reader -> You and Peter have been best friends since middle school. But when feelings get involved, it can lead to a lot of pining and incredibly romantic kisses inside a Stark lab.

Disclaimer: FLUFF, a little angst, a LOT of pining. Kissing. Jealousy. Happy Ending. Not proof-read. No use of Y/N.

You first met him when you were in middle school. You had been the new transfer student and you had zero friends. The first week of your new school you spent getting lost in the hallways, avoiding the random questions that the people who you assumed were the popular crowd were asking you and trying to concentrate on the work you were being given. 

But, half-way through your second week, you met a boy. 

You had been sitting on your own in the back of the cafeteria, trying to solve your science homework. 

Usually, you were okay with science but every time you entered your numbers, you knew the answer was wrong. 

He’d introduced himself as Peter Parker. 

You recognised the name. 

He was supposed to be in your English, Math and Physical Ed classes though he hadn’t been in due to being ill. 

At first, he sat with you because there was nowhere else to sit. At least, that’s what you thought. Then he asked about your homework. 

“Yeah, Mrs Jackson always sets difficult questions. Do you want some help?”

You accepted his offer and he moved over two seats so he was directly in front of you and for the next 20 minutes, he sat with you and you both figured out the homework together. 

In return, you offered to help him with his English report. 

You couldn’t quite remember when it was after that that the pair of you became inseparable. But, after that, the both of you were never seen without one another. 

Even in High School, you remained the best of friends. Thursday night homework hours were completed together and Friday night movie nights were completed with the same laughter, frustration and smiles. 

And, despite attending different colleges, it was like no time or space had passed between you both. 

You were the first Peter came to when he was ready to tell people about his alter-ego Spider-Man. You were also the first person Peter came to when he had his first crush and date in High School. 

Maybe that was when you had your first heart-break. 

Though you were friends with Peter first, it was a couple years into High School that you realised your feelings towards Peter had grown to be more than friendship. 

But you knew he didn’t feel the same. And knew he probably never would. 

But, at the same time, it didn’t not sting when he dated other girls. 

Either way, you swallowed the pain and your feelings for him and remained determined to keep your friendship with Peter despite them. 

So, you dated other guys. 

And, they were kind. 

Some of them became long term - others, not so much. But despite how much you cared for them, something always seemed to be missing. Though you tried your best to ignore that fact. 

You both had graduated college a few years ago and ever since, Peter had been working for Stark Industries whilst, despite the job offer Tony had given you personally and said he would keep on ice, you had a job helping engineer different plates and surgical equipment that helped towards surgery for animals who’s back legs had stopped moving or had been born without one of the paws etc. 

Still, you met Peter every day in his lab at the compound at 7 since you got off work at 6. 

“Peter? You here?”

“In here. I’m almost ready, I’ve just got to-”

“No worries.”

Whilst Peter ran about the place, finding different parts for some old web-shooters he had in his hand, you sat at one of the tables and tinkered away. 

It was usually like this. 

You’d go and meet him, he’d still be working and you’d sit with him for 40 minutes to an hour before you both left to get food and watch a movie. 

“You know, it’s so cool you work for Tony Stark.”

Peter smiled as he continued to tinker away and you tried to avoid your gaze dropping to check him out despite his outfit consisting of black cargo trousers and a black t-shirt. 

So, he’d been in training today.

“Yeah. You know, you could too if you wanted.” Peter looked up to you for a moment. “He has a job lined up and ready for you whenever you want it.”

You smiled and nodded. “I know. But I like my job.”

“Offer is always there.”

“Hey, did you hear back from Lucy?”

Peter faltered for a moment, though you barely noticed. “Oh, uh, yeah. We’re…we’re going out again, tomorrow, I think.”

You ignored the sad feeling in your chest, despite the fact you had been the one to set them up (technically). 

Lucy worked in the office at your job. Peter came in one day to pick you up and she mistook you both for a couple despite the fact she’d just been flirting with him thirty seconds ago. 

You just opened your mouth and shut the whole thing down. “Oh, no. Hahaha, no. We’re- we’re just friends. Good friends. But friends.”

Sitting up a little straighter, you smiled. “That’s good.”

“What about you? What happened to Frank?”

“Mark,” you corrected. “And it-it wasn’t right. Besides, we only talked, like, twice. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. He said he hated Disney movies and would rather gouge out his eyes than watch another one.”

“Seriously?”

You raised your eyebrows with a puff from your chest, still annoyed at the comment. “Yeah.”

“Well, at least you never have to talk to him again.”

“True.”

At that moment, the door to Peter’s lab slid open and Sam walked in with a pile of plans, presumably for a new set of wings. 

“Steve told me to give you these.”

“Thanks, Sam. Just leave them there. I’ll look over them.”

“Hey, Sam.”

Sam called your name and ran over and hugged you. “How are you doing, kid?”

“Good. Just waiting for this one to finish up. How was Alaska?”

“Cold. Bucky got his arm frozen to a lamp-post. I’ll send you pictures.”

You smiled. “You want them framed?”

“Oh, please.” Sam smiled. 

“Did I ever show you the pictures when Peter froze his webs to the roof? He was still attached to them two hours later.”

Peter, looking between the pair of you, laughing at the photos, shook his head. “Sometimes I regret introducing you two.”

“Too late.” Sam smiled. “Anyway, you both should head out before traffic gets too bad.”

“It’s New York. Traffic is always bad.”

“Even better.”

“And our movie starts in an hour.” you added. 

“Alright, I’m done.”

Sam winked at you and you mouthed a “Thank you” to him before he said goodbye and left. 

Yourself and Peter managed to get to the cinema and find your seats just before the trailers finished and for the next two hours, you spent most of the time trying not to have a heart-attack as the actors jumped from building to building, hanged themselves over the edge of a cliff and nearly died about thirty times before finally succeeding. 

Despite the amount of times you watched movies like that, it didn’t stop your heart from racing and trying not to watch. Horror, sure. You could handle that. But suspense and action - nope. 

“How you feeling?”

You put your hand to your head and covered your eyes for a moment. “I’m still spinning, I think. Please, never do anything like that.”

Peter laughed as you sat down on the bench outside the movie house. “You have my word.”

Slowly, he knelt down in front of you before pushing your chin up. 

“Look at me for a moment.”

You did so and tried to slow your heart down that was beating faster for a separate reason. 

“Stopped spinning?”

It took you a moment to focus. “Y-Yeah. All stopped now.”

“Good.”

Peter stood up again and you mentally slapped yourself as you checked him out again. He’s just a friend. A FRIEND. 

Thankfully, he didn’t notice since he was too busy looking down the street before he gave you his hand. 

“Come on. Let’s head back.”

You took his hand as he helped you up before letting it go, too afraid of what your own feelings might feel if you held his hand any longer. 

Months later, not much had changed. 

You’d still kept your feelings from Peter and dated a couple of people. Peter dated Lucy for a month before breaking it off - though he never told you why. 

But one evening, as you were sitting home alone - your roommate out on another date - you got the craving for Pizza and since there was none in the freezer, you grabbed your bag and coat before heading out to the nearest pizza place. 

You needed to get out of the house. 

Despite there being no change between you and Peter, part of you called out for it. You either needed to tell him how you felt or you needed to move on. And since you weren't going to do the first…ever, that only left you with the second. 

And, oddly enough, that night you met Colton. 

He was standing in line waiting for his pizza and since the chef got an emergency call from his wife saying she was in labour, he mistakenly made half a pepperoni, half margarita. 

Despite the awkwardness, you both decided to share it. 

You sat outside together on a park bench, watching the ducks float down the water, simply talking. 

“So, what brings you to a pizza place at 9 at night on a Tuesday?”

“Hunger, mostly.”

Before you knew it, he was walking you home, you had exchanged numbers and met him for a date that Saturday. From there, you continued talking and soon enough, months had passed by. 

It was late in the afternoon when you were at SI and, whilst talking to some old friends in the hallway since you’d just come from a shared meeting between both companies, Colton turned up. 

“Hey, what-” you kissed him quickly. “What are you doing here?”

“You left your notebook at my house,” he passed you the hardback notebook that contained most of your random thoughts and problems that were either to do with work or could be to do with work, one day. 

“Oh, thank you.”

“And, since I’m here, I was hoping maybe we could get lunch together?”

You smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.”

Then someone called your name.

Looking behind you, the four people you’d been talking to seemed to split up and gave you a clear view of who had called your name - though you didn’t need to view to know who it was. 

“Peter,” you said, slightly shocked. 

This was the first time, despite him knowing about Colton, Peter was about to meet him. 

“Hey, I was just- who’s this?”

“Oh, I, uh, this-this is Colton.”

Colton stuck out his hand and Peter shook it after a quick moment. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Whether it was real or not, it was like a massive tension cloud was above the whole situation. 

“Uhh…Colton, this is Peter. My-”

“Best friend since middle school.” Peter finished. 

“Cool. Well, we were just about to get lunch so I guess we’ll see you later?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. Can you- Let me just grab my coat.”

“Course, babe.”

Then Colton kissed you for what felt like the longest time - and oddly, it didn’t feel like the others. It felt…forced. 

Either way, when he pulled away you stepped back a little before heading down the hall and towards the cloak room. And in the time it took you between getting your coat and walking back, that cloud of tension only seemed to feel darker and bigger. 

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s go babe.”

You nodded, saying goodbye to everyone else but something in the bottom of your stomach felt guilty - especially when you saw the split-second change in emotions on Peter’s face before he went back to how he usually looked at you. 

Once you left the building with Colton and had driven away, Natasha smacked the back of Peter’s head. 

“Ow, what was that for?”

“I don’t know. For whatever the hell that was, for being jealous, for not telling her sooner.”

“Jealous? I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous?”

Natasha just laughed. “Oh, you look just like Steve when Grant from level three flirted with me. Oh, you’ve got it bad.”

“Nat-” Peter rolled his eyes and tried to walk away but she just pulled him back. 

“You can admit you like her. I mean, we’ve all seen this coming for years.”

“I don’t- you have?”

Natasha shrugged. “What? She’s pretty and you’re both close friends. I’m just surprised it took you this long. I thought you were smarter than those idiots.”

“Those idiots are still standing here.” 

“Peter, how long have you liked her?” Laura asked him. 

“I,” Peter shook his head. 

“Oh, boy.” Laura laughed. 

Peter stood there, slightly dumbfounded, as the others walked away. 

Despite how much he denied it, and how much he convinced himself he didn’t feel that way towards you, he did. Ever since Junior year of College. At least, that was when he’d been getting that simmering feeling in the pit of his stomach every time you looked at him, or even when you didn’t. And that simmer seemed to boil every time he saw you with somebody else. 

But he decided never to tell you. 

He figured, since you had never said anything about extra feelings; ones that surpassed a simple friendship bond, then you wouldn’t ever feel the same. 

And when you made the comment of Just Friends to Lucy, he knew you definitely would never feel the same. So, he guessed he had to get used to the feeling of…something towards you. 

Yet seeing you with Colton - his arm around you, his lips on yours - something seemed to start cracking inside of him. 

Either that, or completely being blown to smithereens. 

Nat was completely right. 

He was jealous. 

He has been jealous. Ever since he first saw you get ready for that date you had with Hank, or Hodge or whatever the guy’s name was - he felt that simmer in his stomach and that small voice in the back of his head for a split second let him think he was watching you get ready to go out on a date with him. 

It had confused him, at first. 

You were his best friend and he was suddenly having these thoughts about dating you and…opening the car door for you (despite already doing that, anyway). But it would have been different. 

He would be yours, in more ways than just friendship. 

“You really love her, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, she’s my best friend.”

Peter looked towards the door where Clint was leaning against the door frame like a dad getting ready to talk to his son. 

Although, despite the comfort Clint provided, Peter faltered for a moment. He had been alone since Colton came and swept you away to lunch - over three hours ago. He’d been tinkering away and letting his mind wander. 

“Relax, kid. It’s written all over your face.”

“Clint, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Tough.” Clint pulled out a seat across the lab desk where Peter was standing. “Laura has already told me what happened and most likely, Tasha’ will do the same later tonight. You might as well talk, Kid.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“Admitting you love her, to yourself, is a start.”

“But do I?”

Even as he questioned it outloud, he knew it wasn’t a question. It hadn’t been a question for the longest time. 

“Pete, according to Laura, you looked like you were about ready to punch his lights out when he kissed her.”

“Well he was just standing there, trying to force himself down her throat. Even I know she doesn’t like PDA like that. And, he was talking about taking her to some kind of salad bar across town when she usually goes and gets her grilled sub from the cafeteria - or I do. And then take it to her. It’s the only thing she ever likes to eat during the day.”

Clint watched as a light, reminiscent smile came across Peter’s face. 

“It’s been the same thing ever since high school. Even if it goes a little cold, it’s still crispy and just as tasty. Plus, the smell doesn’t remind her of the girls' bathroom stalls. There was a leak in the summer before we started. Busted the sewer line that ran under the girls bathroom. The whole corridor would smell but she said it was worse in the bathroom.”

Clint nodded and just let Peter ramble. Though he did get a little worried that the screwdriver he was holding would fly out of his hand at some point. 

Peter’s face grimaced. “I bet he listens to, like, just indie bands and says it’s the best thing in the world and that any other style of music is too…modern because it contains too many lyrics that make sense. She hates that, you know. She had a roommate in college that only ever listened to this…clapping music. Literally, just people clapping along to songs. After that, she moved into one of the sorority dorms. He was probably some douche frat guy, too. Couldn’t get a sorority “chick” then so thinks he can get one now. Not that she’s a “chick” by any means.”

“What is she, then?”

Peter took a short moment to think. “Amazing. Wonderful. Beautiful. Way out of his league. Way out of mine, too. But…”

“But you’re in love with her anyway?” Clint asked. 

“Of course I am but-”

Peter, once again, faltered. 

Had he really just admitted that out loud? 

It felt good. 

“I am. I am in love with her.”

“Then you should tell her. Pete, coming from me, I’d say don’t wait too long. And from Steve, he waited over seventy years - granted, he found Nat. But still. Don’t let her find someone else, especially when you’re already here.”

“But what if she doesn’t-”

Clint already started laughing. He almost doubled over. 

“What? Why are you laughing?”

“Oh, Pete. You really are an oblivious idiot. Kid, that woman has been head over heels for you ever since we first met her. And probably for a long time before that. Trust me, if you tell her, you’ll hear the same thing back.”

Peter stood baffled for a moment before looking at his watch. You should be home by now. You never really liked going out after 6 unless it was for a period run or food.

“I’ve got to go.”

“We’ll be waiting.”

The only thing was…as Peter got to your street, he was stopped in his tracks half-way there. 

You stood on the front steps with Colton. You were laughing and leaning into him and he whispered things to you and then you kissed him. 

You kissed him.

If he went over there…he could ruin the happiness you had with him. He might not like Colton, but you did. And that was what mattered to him. And, even if Clint was right and you did love him back, what was to say you’d say yes to being with him? And, even if you did, what if you couldn’t be friends? Then you’d lose one another. Forever.

He couldn’t risk that. 

So, for the next two months, he watched you flirt and fall for Colton all the while his heart started breaking. 

And then, for about three weeks, he didn’t see you. 

And it was the longest three weeks of his life. 

You had gone on a business trip - and Colton joined you. And, from overhearing Laura and Clint talk, you were going to visit Colton’s family since they lived in the area. 

Part of him wondered if you’d come back engaged. 

You’d only been with Colton under a year but he saw how you looked at him, and how he looked at you - despite not liking either fact. 

But, one late evening as he was working on a couple new designs, he’d gone to the Cafeteria to get some food - he could hear you in his head, cursing him for not having a proper meal in the day. 

When he came back, it was the first time he’d actually had a jump scare. 

You were in his lab. 

You hadn’t even called. 

Friday hadn’t even told him you were in the building. 

You were still you. Not that he expected much to change. 

Your hair half down though the top was thrown into a haphazard messy bun. Your contacts must have dried out in the day since you were wearing your glasses. 

You used to wear them all the time in middle school and high school but they got annoying after a while since they’d slip down your face and get dirty - despite having wiped them thirty seconds ago. Since you wanted to be an engineer and your hands were always full, you changed to contacts. 

It was much easier to focus on the task at hand than the task and the potential of your glasses slipping from your face and landing either in a tank of oil or being crushed under heavy machinery. 

You were wearing a pair of simple jeans that already had oil stains. 

So, you’d been at work today. 

And you were wearing his t-shirt. 

His t-shirt. 

Not Colton’s (unless he owned the same one, though he highly doubted it.). 

His. 

“You’re back!”

“I’m back!” you smiled. 

Silence. 

Peter was still stunned at the t-shirt. 

He’d seen you in his t-shirt, maybe once in college, when the washing machine had broken and you had to hand-wash your clothes in his sink since your sink was broken. 

“It’s nice to see you,” you tried to imitate his voice. “It’s nice to see you, too Peter. Yes, I did have a good time on my trip. I’m so glad you’ve come to see me.”

“Sorry,” Peter laughed a little. “It is good to see you.”

Peter came over and hugged you tightly before stepping back awkwardly and, if you didn’t know any better, you would have guessed he wanted distance between you both. 

“How was your trip?”

“Good. I, uh, I secured the deal with the manufacturer. Everything goes to mass production next month.”

“It does? That’s amazing.”

“I know.”

Short silence and then, Peter asked a question he needed to despite not wanting to. 

“Why are you not with Colton? Shouldn’t you be out celebrating?”

“Maybe.” you agreed. “But, uh, we- actually, I. I, uh, well…I broke up with him.”

Peter tried to calm himself. 

“You did?”

“I did.”

“Why?”

“He was a great guy and all and I cared for him and his family were amazing but, uh, he…he just wasn’t…”

You - that was what you wanted to say. He wasn’t Peter.

“He just wasn’t the right fit. He…he wanted too much too soon and, I don’t know, I guess…I wasn’t ready.”

A pang of guilt played in your stomach. 

You were ready. You were ready for all what Colton offered you; love, a family, a promise of the future. But you weren't ready to have it with him. 

Despite all the shutting down of emotions, you still wanted it to be Peter.  

“Oh, well…that’s good, I guess.”

“Yeah. So, I guess…that was it.”

“Oh, okay.”

Neither of you really knew what to do. Peter’s mind was screaming at him to tell you the truth. And your’s was banging on the wide open door in your heart trying to get your attention. 

But neither of you moved. 

Until Peter did. 

“I-I, uh, I left something in the other- lab. I should probably finish-”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. I should probably head back home anyway.”

Peter began to exit the room but half-way out of the door, he stopped though you were too busy trying to keep your focus on the side desk in front of you to spot it. 

“I’m done wasting time.”

Peter didn’t fully know what made him do what he did next, but no matter the outcome, he would never regret it in his life. Or, maybe he would, but in the long term, he might not. 

Turning back, he hurried towards you and for a moment, you looked back up and he caught your gaze. 

If you were going to kill him afterwards, he wanted his death to be worthwhile. 

He kissed you. 

Cupping your cheeks in his hand, he kissed you - deeply and passionately. Though he didn’t force it. 

It was just as he dreamed and better. 

Your head was spinning. 

All the feelings you had ever felt for Peter all rose to the surface and once your brain registered the kiss was real, you kissed him back just as much. 

Your hands that had been gripping the side of the desk to support yourself came to his wrists and then to his chest where you gripped him by the collar, pulling him closer. 

His own hands raked through your hair, holding the back of your head to be closer to you and eventually, when you both had to break apart due to the lack of air, his head remained against yours. 

Both of you were out of breath and holding one another as close as possible. 

“Sorry, I just-”

“Don’t apologise.”

You pushed yourself to stand a little straighter, keeping him close to you before you opened your eyes to look at him. 

“Don’t apologise. I was just a little…” you couldn’t find the words. 

“Shocked?”

You laughed a little. “Yeah, let’s go with that.”

“I don’t want to scare you,” Peter told you. “But I need to tell you something and if you never want to speak to me again then so be it but if I don’t tell you soon I think I might combust.”

“I’m in love with you.”

You beat him to it. 

“Sorry. I just…I am. That probably terrifies you. I’m sorry.”

“No, no. Don’t-” Peter let out a small laugh. “Don’t be sorry. Because I was going to say the same thing.”

“You were?”

Peter nodded and hummed. “I was. But you beat me to it.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

“I’m in love with you, too.” Peter told you. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I know I should have but I just thought-”

“I wouldn’t like you back?”

Peter nodded. 

“What a pair we make, eh?” you laughed. 

“I know you said you didn’t want to move too fast but-”

“Peter, I only said that because…because I wasn’t ready for him.”

“What?”

“I broke it off because he wasn’t you. Colton was great and all but, that thing that didn’t fit? It was because he wasn’t you.”

“Then will you go on a date with me?”

You smiled. “I’d love to.”

“Great. I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I.”

Without a moment to spare, Peter kissed you again and you kissed him back and it was as if your first kiss hadn’t ever stopped. You turned a little as Peter held you closer and you felt yourself leaning against the desk. Before you knew it, you were sitting on the desktop, pulling Peter as close to you as physics would allow it. 

The next day, you both went on your first date as a couple. A week later, you were official and Nat made it everyone’s business that yourself and Peter had finally become a couple.

The morning after your first night together had been special. Despite Peter having to get up earlier than either of you wanted him to, for work, you stood in the kitchen ready to wash the dishes from the night before he left through the front door. 

Less than ten seconds later, he came back in through the door. 

“Did you forget somethin-”

He cut you off with a kiss. 

“That,” he smiled. “I forgot that.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“See you at lunch?” Peter asked, still holding you. 

“See you at lunch.” you confirmed before he kissed you again, and again, and again.

“Okay, I’ll see you later. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Be careful.” 

Six months later, you both moved in together before finalising the house you both wished to buy. 

Two years later, you and Peter had made a home for yourselves, together and were planning a winter wedding.

[kotegiris]

[Event Story] 3rd Anniversary -Mark of Glory-

Events Referenced: Wings of Frill, White Worship

previous chapter ✧ all ✧ next chapter

Chapter 15: The Future that Will One Day Come

Muu: The question is… “What do you want to do in a world where we don’t have to fight angels anymore?”

Muu: The question is open to everyone, so… Who’s up first?

Flure: H-Hm… I understand the question, but…

Flure: …Muu, aren’t you too used to being a moderator?

Muu: Fufu… I got used to it since I’ve been asking everyone!

Lato: I see. You mean in a world where all the angels have been broken.

Lato: It’ll be a bit lonely not having anything to break anymore, but… That day will surely come one day.

Lato: And when it does… I’d like to try traveling without a destination in mind.

> Without a destination?

Lato: Yes. I want to go wherever the moon takes me and to places no one has been to before…

Lato: I don’t care what I do or where I go. I just want to have a taste of true freedom.

Lato: And if it’s possible… I’d like to have a thrilling adventure.

Lato: If I’m going to be traveling… It’ll be more fun if Aruji-sama and I enjoy it together, right?

> Huh? > Y-Yeah…

Flure: Wha—Lato? When you said you’d go on a trip, you meant with Aruji-sama?

Lato: Yes… Can I not?

Flure: N-Not that you can’t… It’s not for me to say since it’s Aruji-sama’s choice, but…

Flure: If it were me, rather than a dangerous trip… I’d rather live peacefully in a town with Aruji-sama…

Lato: Hmm… So you’d like to live in a town.

Flure: Y-Yeah… Somewhere like Tisaille would be nice.

Flure: It’s famous for its fashion industry… I don’t mind if it's small, but I’d like to start a shop there…

Flure: I want to make the best clothes for my customers. And not just for people, but I want to make clothes for dolls too…

Flure: A-Aruji-sama, if you lived with me in Tisailles… I’d make clothes for you every day!

> E-Everyday…?

Muu: Hmm~ If it’s Flure-san, he looks like he’d really do it. I’m not sure if that’s impressive or scary…

Miyaji: Hm… Either way…

Miyaji: Both Lato-kun and Flure-kun want to stay with Aruji-sama… Even after the world becomes peaceful, it seems like your feelings won’t change.

Miyaji: …I also feel the same. I’ve tried thinking about my future after we stop being Devil Butlers…

Miyaji: Being a teacher, a musician… They’re all wonderful jobs, but…

Miyaji: None of them are as wonderful as being Aruji-sama’s butler.

Miyaji: For me… My ideal life is close to my current life.

Miyaji: Lato-kun, Flure-kun, Muu-kun… And Aruji-sama…

Miyaji: You’re like my family, and being with you… Is an irreplaceable way to spend my life.

Miyaji: That’s why I think… I’ll stay at the mansion.

Miyaji: Even if we all go our own ways… I want to stay at the place where our family can all gather again…

> Miyaji…

Lato: Kufufu… Don’t worry, Miyaji-sensei.

Lato: Even if I go on a trip… I already know where I’ll return to.

Lato: When my trip is over… I’ll go home to you, Miyaji-sensei.

Flure: Me too… Devil’s Palace is my home.

Flure: And now that I’m thinking about it… I’m so shy around strangers, so suddenly starting a shop in a different town will be difficult…

Flure: First, I’ll open one in Espoir… And I’ll go back and forth between there and Devil’s Palace every day!

Muu: Fufu… Everyone really loves Devil’s Palace.

Muu: Of course, I do too! There’s no place that’s as comfortable!

> Me too.

We were talking about the future, but… It made me realize how happy I am now.

Savoring the happiness I felt from being with them… That night I spent with them was full of warmth.

A few days later… It was the day of our departure, and we finished our preparations for going back, but…

When we went to meet Sharkil to receive his letter… We were told something unexpected.

Sharkil: Postpone your return to the Central Lands for one more day.

> What… One more day?

Miyaji: Hm… As scheduled, we’ve received your letter, so that means…

Miyaji: There’s another issue?

Sharkil: That’s right. There’s been a report of an out-of-season sandstorm in the desert to the north.

Sharkil: If you’re in a rush, then I will not force you to stay, but… Getting lost in the sandstorm will only be more time-consuming.

Sharkil: According to the astronomer, it should settle down tomorrow. I advise you to wait until then.

Miyaji: I see… Thank you for your concern.

Miyaji: Then, we will accept your kind offer and extend our stay for another day.

> One more day… What should we do…?

Muu: Should we go around the town a little more?

Miyaji: Hm… In that case…

Miyaji: Sharkil-sama. If it’s alright…

Miyaji: Would you grant us permission to see the malak (1) figures?

> Malak figures…?

Sharkil: The malak figures…

Sharkil: It is a sacred place to the Portrea family, but…

Sharkil: …If it’s you then, I’m sure you will refrain from any reckless actions. You may go.

Miyaji: Thank you, Sharkil-sama.

We headed for the malak figures. They were not in Dalaja, but to the south of town.

While heading there… The entire time, my line of sight was filled with a large, familiar tower.

It was the Ancient Tower that’s in the Southern Lands.

The tower can be seen even from a far distance. It stretched up high into the dark red evening sky…

And by the time we finally got closer to the tower, the sun was already setting in the west…

Muu: Phew… We’re finally here.

Flure: I didn’t expect it to be so far.

Flure: It’s starting to get chilly… It’s a good thing we decided to change.

Lato: Miyaji-sensei. May I go take a closer look at the Ancient Tower?

Lato: I may be able to encounter some angels… I won’t take long.

Flure: Hah… Do you even have to ask? Of course, you can’t go.

Flure: There’s no way Aruji-sama would let you do something so dangerous.

Flure: Right, Aruji-sama?

> Lato, no doing dangerous things, okay?

Miyaji: Aruji-sama and Flure-kun are right. Could you hold yourself back?

Lato: I understand. Then, I’ll refrain from going.

Miyaji: Thank you.

Miyaji: Although… Even if you went, you won’t be able to get close to the tower.

Muu: What do you mean by that?

Miyaji: The Portrea family’s soldiers closely guard the Ancient Tower.

Miyaji: They’ve built a wall around the tower and have guards permanently stationed there.

Flure: It’s that strict? But why would they go so far…

Miyaji: Probably to prevent intruders from getting close to the Ancient Tower… And to avoid “incurring the wrath of god.”

> God…?

Muu: You’re talking about the god in the religion of Malakism that the Portrea family believes in, right?

Muu: I heard about it from Lucas-san!

> That’s right. > (What did he say again… I don’t remember.)

Lato: To put it simply, if you get close to the Ancient Tower, then… You’ll anger a being referred to as “God”...

Flure: Lato… Don’t do it.

Lato: Kufufu… Flure, you worry too much.

Muu: Lato-san! Our destination is the malak figures, not the Ancient Tower!

Lato: Fufu, of course I know that.

Lato: By the way, where are the malak figures?

Miyaji: They’re in the ruins underground.

Miyaji: See… There's a door over there.

Lato: Hm… So that’s where it is.

> So what are the malak figures?

Miyaji: It’s the ruins where the former heads of the Portrea family’s tombs are.

> The former heads’ tombs…

Miyaji: …Now then. Let’s take a look at the ruins.

Miyaji: Don’t go inside the catacombs at the back. These are sacred grounds for the Portrea family.

Flure: Phew…… We’re not going into the catacombs.

Lato: …Oh? You look a bit happy about that.

Flure: N-No, I’m not! Let’s just go already.

T/N: (1) Malak means angel in Arabic.

[brandwhorestarscream]

my heart breaks seeing optimus cry, he's such a big lovey teddy bear 😭 what did jazz find? plz i need to know ive been rotating this story in my head like a rubiks cube i can't stop thinking about it

I'm glad to hear it anon! 🥰 I hope you've been enjoying all the Reports I've been putting out, those tie in with this story! We're only at the tip of the iceberg now :) so, without further ado:

...

Jazz sounds troubled as he relays the very limited information. The company responsible for manufacturing those dolls in their likeness, and who's logo matched the marking on the unfortunate victim, had shut down seven earth years ago. There was very little readily available information about it: the humans had only started universally sharing global information a couple decades ago, and it was still a very primitive, underused tool. Mentions of the company on the internet and in publicly available texts were plentiful, as they had been a giant in the industry during their time, but there is very little to be said about it's sudden closure. There had been a quiet, formal statement issued by the CMO about slipping profits and an unsustainable business model. A few news articles and interviews had been dug up, but they were full of speculation about what their factory's closing meant for their otherwise-unremarkable town.

"They shut their doors, most everyone cleared outta there within a couple years. Nothin' else."

For all the world, it looked like a standard, unfortunate case of a business struggling to stay afloat amid economic shifts and a fickle target audience. Perhaps it had been. But, regardless, it was evident that something utilizing their logo had committed unspeakable atrocities on a human child, and it warranted immediate investigation.

Ratchet tries his hardest to keep Optimus from joining them. His face still sagged heavily with grief, and his optics were hollow, but he presented a steely resolve. Insisting that he had to go, he owed it to the poor thing that had perished because of him. How could he delegate the difficult work to others, rather than forge ahead? He wanted to excavate the truth, bring it to light, and hopefully, in having their story told, the child could rest peacefully.

"I need to know how and why this happened, Ratchet," he had said, voice softly rasping. "I need to know by who's hand... and I need to ensure it never happens again."

And that was that. They departed with Ironhide, Jazz, and Bumblebee to investigate, with Skyfire making what would've been a several hour drive less than 45 minutes by flight. It was once a very charming little human town, Ratchet thought as they descend low over the city limits. Neat little houses lined up in rows made up abandoned neighborhoods, their roof tiles bleached and weathered from years without maintanence, with a central busy district with all manner of little shops and businesses. At the west side of the city and stretching from border to border, towering above everything beneath it, was the factory. The sheer size was impressive, given that it was operated by humans: it was compromised of many smaller, interconnected buildings in a variety of shapes, towers and smokestacks alike stretching into the air. The colors are faded, but widespread: in it's peak, the factory had been splashed bright yellow and red, green and blue, with stripes in some places and polka dots in others.

Skyfire let's them out nearly a half mile from the factory, but it can still be seen plain as day. They send him off with promises to comm when they needed an extraction, before turning their attention to the massive building. The setting sun is sinking behind it, setting a blazing orange backlight and the illusion that many of the windows are lit.

On approach, it looks normal. Wide sparse fields on either side of the central road leading up to the central building. Dust kicks up beneath their tires, and there's quite a bit of tenacious vegetation growing in the numerous cracks in the asphalt. All fine and dandy for a road that hadn't been cared for in years, but the sign.

It's a massive sign, comparatively, nearly eight feet long and half as tall, staked into the ground with two metal beams. It looks like it should light up, but the image is plenty clear without any. It's the company's name displayed in big, bright letters in simple, child-friendly font. But leaning against the first letter and raising one hand in greeting is Optimus Prime's perfect likeness. Beside him, there's Ironhide, smiling in a very un-Ironhide-like fashion and giving a cheerful thumbs up. There's Hound, Blaster, Arcee, and even Bumblebee too, all of them posed happily around the letters and looking to be greeting incoming guests.

"...I'm not the only one that thinks that's weird, right?" Bee aounds distinctly uncomfortable. "I can't be the only one."

"Definitely weird, Bee." Jazz is audibly frowning. "

That sign definitely hadn't been present the last time they were here. Or, if it had, it had been knocked over or destroyed because of the decepticons, and Ratchet hadn't seen it. He'd remember seeing something like that. Had they really been this heavily featured in human marketing and never noticed?

It gets even worse when they arrive at the main doors. The building is tall, and the automated double doors are more than thrice the height of the average human. They creak and screech unpleasantly on their tracks, rusty from sitting dormant for so long, but they're able to fanagle their way inside with moderate crouching. It's definitely cramped with the five of them, and Optimus is hunching a little bit, but they do manage to make it inside. The ceilings look to be about 20 feet, so the likes of Jazz and Bumblebee are able to move around with relative ease.

Without warning, the lights suddenly come on. Bumblebee yelps and utters a startled swear, backpedalling away from-

"OH! Oh Primus, that's uncanny-"

There's another Bumblebee.

Standing off to the side, between a central desk and a glass door that leads into a darkened room, there is another Bumblebee. He stands at exactly the same height as theirs. He's painted bright yellow with the exact same proportions, the same facial structure, everything. Their scout looks shaken, optics wide and leaning away from it.

The other Bumblebee remains completely motionless. Ratchet swallows.

"S'it... alive?"

The medic steps toward it. It doesn't move. It gives off no heat signature when he scans it, and when he bends down to get a look at it's face, there's no eyes. Just a film of blue-tinted plastic.

"No. No, it's just a-"

"HI!"

Ratchet will deny the shrill noise that rips from his vocalizer as he stumbles back, already reaching for his blaster as it suddenly shouts at him. It's arm creaks and raises at a 90° angle from It's body.

"I'm Bumblebee! Welcome to Playco! Make sure to check in with our Welcome Ambassador to be assigned to your tour guide! And don't forget to stop by the toyshop, because every child deserves a toy!"

They all remain frozen. It's mouth doesn't move, the sound projecting from somewhere in it's torso.

"I don't sound like that, do I?!" The real Bumblebee asks, sounding despaired. "I don't- do I really look like that?!"

Ironhide pats at him absent-mindedly. "Ya sure it's not alive, Ratch?"

The medic gulps. Primus, look at him, jumping at the slightest thing like a timid newspark. The autopsy is still heavy in his mind, it has him on edge. "Yes, I'm sure," he grumbles. "It... must be motion-activated. It's not-"

"HI! I'm Bumblebee! Welcome to Playco! Make sure to-"

It continued to play it's recorded greeting, and Ratchet sighs. "On a timer, it looks like."

Great.

...

Gonna cut it here cuz my fingers are tired. They've officially arrived on scene... wonder what they'll find next 🤭

[bird-inacage]

Net x James: An important reminder that BL partnerships consist of two individuals and they are not just a single entity.

So the Netjames news has been a notable bombshell in the fandom of late, and I've been quietly observing this as it unfolded earlier this week, particularly the varying reactions and discourse around it.

In his statement, James explained that his current career goals are moving in a different direction, which has resulted in him pulling out of 'Love Upon a Time', and by extension his acting partnership with Net. He wants to explore his other avenues as an artist, whereas Net is presumably focused on acting for now.

With BL partnerships, we often see the two co-stars tied at the hip. Its part of the gig and it comes with the territory. They don't just work together on their project, but they do a huge amount of activity (both public and private) outside of that. They travel, perform, they do fan meets, press events, and spend a huge amount of time together as a twosome. So we get accustomed to seeing them as a united entity, which means news like this tends to hit harder because it feels akin to a divorce. This is one of the pitfalls of the Thai BL industry. When you create a narrative around two people who exclusively come as a package, it makes it incredibly difficult for both the actors themselves and fans to accept or make peace with any possible deviation from that. I think it's natural for any actor or artist to desire collaboration with different people: to develop their craft, to further their experience, to broaden their versatility. If sticking to only one working partner 'for life' doesn't work for them, I completely empathise with that.

In their recent Instagram lives, Net and James were clearly sad and their feelings still very raw. This led to a lot of speculation regarding any ill-feeling or fall out between the two. But such accusations can be harmful. Even in an amicable or mutual break-up where ending a relationship is in both parties' best interests - the two people involved are still grieving. Being brutally honest and transparent with someone close to you, that things can no longer continue as they are, isn't easy. If fans feel upset, just imagine how difficult this is on them both. When you've been nurtured as a partnership from the get go, your co-star whose always been at your side provides a sense of safety and familiarity. And the prospect of now moving forward without them is a scary new unknown. On top of that, they probably feel an immense amount of pressure and guilt in digesting the potential fallout and response from their fans. There will be trepidation in how well their careers will fare in the immediate aftermath.

Despite this, there are also positives to be taken from this decision. Arguably, Net and James were still in the early stages of their partnership. Bed Friend really put them on the map as a couple. So for James to come forward with this realisation now, before they got too established as a pairing was a responsible thing to do. I'm sure the last thing anyone wants is for their favourite artists to feel stuck or obliged to continue working together, which would undoubtedly lead to feelings of resentment eventually.

So respectfully, these instances are not to be taken personally or to be deemed as a betrayal of your support. After all, what we know of these artists is only a very small piece of their identities as people. It's okay to be devastated, but be respectful of their wishes. You can choose to continue supporting them as individuals, or choose to no longer support them at all - either way, you are perfectly valid and entitled to your choice, just extend the same courtesy back and be mindful of casting unfair judgement on their choice.

For me, it is admittedly a shame because I did see great potential in them both as a pair, and they had fantastic chemistry which could have been nurtured with more time and experience. Regardless, I truly believe they both have immense love for one another, and I wish them both the very best. They've just come to terms with the fact they no longer share the same vision for what they want in their careers. And that's okay.

(I will always be grateful that they gave us THIS iconic moment).

[artemis-fowl-incident-report]

Fowl Futures

(btw, I'm sending in query letters to literary agents atm. Wish me luck)

Artemis: I imagine Artemis relaxes a lot in the future. He's already proved himself, he's been chaotic, he's literally died to save the world. He's earned some rest. Not all of it, though. He's never been one to rest on his laurels. He pours a lot of his time and attention into Fowl Industries R&D department, creating things to help better humanity (and making the lives of Politicians who stand in the way of that a whole lot more difficult). I could see him settling down eventually, maybe having kids (something he would be terrified of, since he doesn't want to make them feel the way his father made him feel) but most of all, it is is good life, a life he deserves.

Beckett: Because of his connection with animals, I believe Beckett would have a hand in farming. More accurately, he would be ethically negotiating with animals for their by-products (eggs, wool, milk etc. He draws the line at meat) He runs it more like a union than anything. It started with him keeping bees, since they largely consent to their domestication by humans. He also writes children's books

Myles: Surprising no one, Myles goes on to completely dominate all fields scientific study, and probably invents several new ones. Because of his focus on his nutrition from a young age, he grows to be the tallest out of the Fowl siblings. He is also a massive foodie, and runs the kitchen like a military commander whenever they have events.

Angeline & Tim: I feel like they spend the rest of their lives absolutely devoted to one another, with Angeline going on to spear head many charitable causes, and Tim there simply to be her cheerleader.

Butler: Lets be honest now, Butler is never going to completely retire, but he does slow down a bit. He takes up running the estate and helping Artemis raise his family, becoming the unofficial extra grandpa of his principles children. He also takes up writing as a hobby, and you best believe his window boxes are always weed free.

Juliet: Of course Juliet has a very successful wrestler and goes onto international acclaim, after which she becomes a trainer for those trying to break into the industry. For some reason I think she would really do well as a foster parent, specialising in kids that need physical protection from those they have been removed from.

Holly: Holly would go onto greater and greater heights, punching and kicking the whole way. She would redefine ever aspect of the LEP through either major or minor elements. She would also absolutely terrify the council the whole time.

Foaly: Inventing, loving his wife, loving his kids (which he may or may not have. It certainly sounded like it in the Atlantis complex, but Eoin seems to have forgotten them past that point)

Mulch: Continues to dabble both in crime and solving crime for a good long while, and eventually publishes a very successful autobiography (the factuality of which is still debated long into the future).

No1: Not only is No1 a once in a generation warlock, but a once in a generation teacher, once in a generation councilman, once in a generation bad ass with way too many hobbies and a penchant for adopting any stray cats who look his way.

[vegantinatalist]

why do you think "wrong body feeling" is related to autism/adhd?

-some autism spaces are seeing such a massive amount of autistic children being harmed by gender ideology that they are finally speaking up and determining that autistic kids need to be protected https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/620071/evidence-based-autism-they-ve-gone-gender-critical

-we know that doctors who are giving gender affirming surgeries are making absolute obscene bank, this is a multibillion dollar industry, we have seen their discussions with eachother where its clear their goal is to make as much money as possible and to get people on whatever treatments take the longest and cost the most. they have full incentive to manipulate as many people as possible into believing this will help them and the most manipulatable people are children, scared parents, and some neurodivergent people/pw mental illnesses.

-personal/anecdotal, but when i was a kid there was a school i didnt go to but my friend did and i visited once. it was almost entirely populated with autistic students and every single one of them used neopronouns or believed they were trans and it was very cultlike, it was weird how the school practically only accepted these types of kids and i think they were either trying to protect these kids or were grooming them to follow gender ideology religiously. they even had breaks mid class where they would talk about it daily. every trans person ive ever met was autistic and ive met many -i have multiple autistic family members and i know a lot about what they experience. autistic people often experience discomfort just 24/7 in general, often without them being able to tell exactly what it is. all kinds of sensory things can bother them. being unable to communicate/being misunderstood is a common thing as well. being perceived also seems to be very stressful for them in general, even if they arent abused when young. i have watched with my own eyes how they tried to cope with this across their lifetimes. ive seen them as children trying to explain it by claiming they actually must be dogs or aliens. ive seen them as adults putting their complete faith in all manner of random bs explanations in hopes it will bring them understanding and salvation from their unending discomfort and feelings of isolation and being misunderstood. it is not at all difficult to imagine an autistic youth or adult stumbling into gender ideology and being convinced that transitioning is the answer. much of this also applies to adhd and sufferers of cptsd who are struggling to gain a sense of control over their bodies and mind after being terribly abused.

Im not saying all people who identify as trans are autistic/adhd and im not saying autism/adhd being the cause of something means it doesnt exist. im just saying i think for MANY trans people the root of gender dysphoria is actually just related to their neurodivergence and there are better ways to treat it.

Another example of a similar situation, is eating disorders and bpd. We know pw bpd are very likely to have eating disorders and a common thing you get educated on when you are learning about how to help ppl with bpd or eating disorders, is that you should first find out if they are neurodivergent in some way and get them treatment for that first. its like step #1. or if you know they have bpd, TREAT THE BPD FIRST and dont fixate on the eating disorder, and likely not only will the eating disorder be relieved but the laundry list of other issues related to bpd will get better as well. this is a huge problem with bpd- it often comes with so many other behavioral issues and physical pains that people get distracted and never treat the root problem. i think the same thing is going on here with autism/adhd and gender fixation. its a very similar thing. "my body is wrong, i must do these harmful things because, although it hurts, it hurts more to do nothing". but there is a third option. and people are not considering it, theyre going backwards and considering this third option offensive/an attack. understandable, because a lot of people are religious self righteous pricks and act severely smug about telling others they know whats best for them. i consider those people just as much a part of this problem, so i want yall to know i dont think anyone has any right to force any specific treatment on you or deny you the right to do what you think is best for you. this is just my experience and my advice and the warnings i want to give, especially about these doctors. and im also here on this blog to say that while it is your right to do what you want to do with your own body, it isnt your right to violate sex segregated space rules, those are womens rights that i want to defend. your rights end where others rights begin etc etc.

[uboat53]

This is an open letter to rural Americans, if that's you or someone you know, read on. Fair warning, though, this is the kind of no-nonsense straight talk that you pride yourself in and won't be easy for you to hear.

Look, I hear your complaints about gay and transgender people and I hear your concerns about kids identifying as strange things like nonbinary. I even hear your, admittedly strange and not well supported, complaints about kids identifying as animals.

I know what you're worried about, you're worried about things changing around you, and you're right to be. The last half century or more has been absolutely devastating to people like you and communities like yours. I don't even need to know where you live, just about every rural town and rural county has seen their population cut in half since the end of the Second World War and the economy has suffered for that.

Farming and ranching, the cornerstones of the rural economy, have gotten harder. You've been squeezed by your suppliers and your customers to the point where it's difficult to make ends meet, much less a profit. Kids don't see a future in your community and they leave for somewhere else which only makes it harder for the ones who decide to stay and people increasingly turn to drugs and suicide because they don't see any other way.

Thirty years ago there was a hospital in easy reach, then it closed and the nearest one is now hours away. That means that things that didn't used to be fatal now kill people in your community, things that didn't used to be damaging now maim them because they just can't get to the doctor fast enough. And even if they're not suffering heart attacks, being bitten by animals, or being injured on the job or out in the country, the stress is building up day by day. It gnaws at the back of your mind, making it hard to focus on the things you need to do, and the adrenaline is slowly eating your body alive.

Fifty years ago you could have sold your farm to a young farmer in your old age and retired, now you're stuck working until you die because there's no one to pass your legacy on to and, when you do die, your land will get swallowed up by a huge factory farm that won't bring jobs or contribute to your community. Change has been terrible for you and I don't think you're insane for wanting it to stop.

But here's the thing, you're focusing on the wrong change. It's not your fault either, the people you trusted have betrayed you. Hear me out, because this is going to hurt, but you need to hear it.

What do the politicians in your area tell you? They tell you that you're tough, independent, no-nonsense people, right? You're not one to complain when life get's hard, not like those pampered city folk? They say that they're one of you, don't they? That they're just farmers and ranchers and they know you like those outsiders never could, am I still right? I know because that's what the politicians where I grew up used to say. Still do actually.

You need to look at them, though. The average Congressman or State Representative is a millionaire and your guys are no exceptions. They're not poor farmers breaking their backs trying to make ends meet, they're the owners of big businesses milking federal and state subsidies while putting on the theater that they actually have to go dig fence posts and clear brush instead of the reality that they have people to do that kind of thing for them when they're not trying to impress you.

And when they go to the state house or the capital, they're not advocating for you. They're taking millions of dollars from your suppliers and your distributors and making sure that their interests are heard. And you may say "oh, well that's fine, representing the agriculture industry is representing me too," but is it really? Let me ask you this; the agriculture business in the US is worth $1.5 trillion according to the USDA, how much of that are farming and ranching communities actually seeing?

If even 10% of that money was making it to rural communities it would revitalize the country. Can you imagine what $150 billion would do for all the rural towns and communities across this country? Agribusiness is doing fine, but you aren't. Stop to think about that for a minute.

The reason the politicians sell you the idea of tough independence is that they don't want you to notice how dependent you are on the outside world. That's not a bad thing, by the way, we live in a modern, interconnected world that can provide things our parents and grandparents couldn't have dreamed of. You've benefited from it too, from better technologies to increase yields and greater access to more customers all around the world.

What you haven't benefited from is the middle men. Remember when I talked about your suppliers and distributors squeezing you? Yeah, your suppliers don't actually make the things you buy and the distributors don't actually use the things you sell. These people stand between you and the people who actually do those things and take whatever money they can along the way.

And if there were lots of suppliers and lots of distributors that would be fine. You live far away from factories and cities, you need someone to bring things to you and take what you produce to your customers, and it's reasonable that those people make money too. But how many suppliers do you have? How many distributors? Like I said, I don't even need to know where you are to know that it's less than 5, probably less than 3, because it's like that everywhere.

Every business you buy from knows they have no competition, so they jack up their prices as high as they can while still making a sale and every business you sell to knows you have no other options so they offer you the lowest price they can, and both of them are pocketing the difference. When you wonder what happened to your communities and your downtowns, think about how everyone but you is making a decent amount of money off of agriculture in this country.

So yes, you're tough and you're independent, but you're still a part of the world economy. You still buy things that come from somewhere else and you sell things that go somewhere else and somewhere in the middle of that you need to make money. And the people you keep electing, the ones who tell you they're just like you and that you're tough and independent and no-nonsense, they're taking a ton of money from the people who actually are making it in order to make sure that nothing changes and nothing gets better.

At the end of the day, it's not gay people or trans people or atheists or immigrants or even furries that are destroying your communities and your livelihoods, it's the people who smile and tell you they're one of you. They're the ones making sure that your money goes to them instead of to the new field equipment that could help you expand your operation, they're the ones making sure that you don't make enough to rent another field and hopefully put in some extra crop next season, and they're the ones making sure that none of that money that comes from what you produce stays in your community where it could build wealth and income for the people who actually live there.

At this point you may be wondering whether I think you're a fool or an idiot. After all, I just described you getting taken for a ride by the people you trusted for most of your life. It sounds like I'm just another city person who thinks that anyone without a PhD is a moron who needs to be told what to do every minute of every day so they don't drown in the shower because they're that stupid.

But here's the thing, I don't think you're a fool or an idiot, far from it. I think you're proud.

You're proud of who you are and where you come from and there's a lot of good in that, but there's a reason the good book lists pride as one of the seven deadly sins.

Long ago you and your distributors and suppliers used to work hand in hand to produce more food and get it in the hands of hungry people. You got to know each other and trust each other, working together to make this country one of the most agriculturally productive on Earth. But sometime during the Cold War, things changed. The local distributors and suppliers you used to work with got bought out by big corporations. They kept the local faces they knew you trusted, but they had no real interest in you or your community and they used that trust to pull the rug out from under you.

It's decades later now and the results are undeniable. Whole towns depopulated, main streets crumbling, young people moving away, and necessary services like hospitals unable to make enough to stay open, but you still refuse to look the truth in the face because doing so would mean admitting that you've been had, and you're too proud for that. So instead you vote for politicians who pretend to be like you and tell you comforting slogans while selling you out and you blame people who had nothing to do with it, all because you're too proud.

Because the people destroying your community don't have purple hair or piercings. They don't want to use the wrong bathroom or lust after their own sex or deny God. Heck, they don't even wear fursuits and use litter boxes instead of toilets. The people destroying your community wear ties and suits. They keep their hair neat and trimmed and they don't decorate their bodies with tattoos or piercings. When they do actually come to your community, they trade the suit and tie for working clothes, but they're so clean it's clear they've never been used. They look like they fit in, but they don't, they may have owned a farm, but they've never actually had to work one before. They were born into wealth, not labor, and they're the ones paying millions to the people you elect.

They've told you for years that they're one of you, just more workers in the field of agriculture that you work in too, but they're not remotely the same. They're the ones that sit in offices and crunch numbers, they hire people like you and illegal immigrants for the real work. They've been doing this for as long as most people can remember, telling you that they're part of your community while sucking it dry.

If you're going to save your community and your way of life, you're going to need to overcome your pride. Look into the faces of your children, walk around your community, talk with God; do whatever you need to, but you need to realize that right now your pride is the biggest obstacle to saving everything you value. Pride in your home and community is one of the greatest things on Earth, but right now what your home and community need isn't your pride, it's your humility. You're going to need to dig deep and find that within yourself. Find the part of yourself that would give anything, even your life, to protect your family, and prepare for something that, for some of you, might be even harder.

Now, once you're in the right frame of mind, take a hard look at the questions I asked you earlier. You know the ones, the ones about how many distributors there are that you can actually sell to and how many suppliers you can actually buy from. You knew the answers to those, didn't you? Now I want you to look at the actions of the people you vote for. Not their words, their actions. Have they ever voted for anything that would give you more leverage to demand higher prices? Have they ever voted for anything that would give you more options and lower the price of the things you buy? I'm betting the answer is "no".

They'll tell you that they don't want to interfere in the free market, and fair enough, but look at what they do vote for. How many of those things give money to the big companies you buy from and sell to? How many times have they looked the other way at those companies hiring illegal immigrants while they tell you how much they're doing about the problem? Again, I don't need to know where in the country you live, I know the answers to those questions because they're all the same.

The truth is that they've been using your pride against you, the people you elect and the companies you do business with. Like a magician who keeps you watching his right hand while his left keeps pulling rabbits, they've kept you angry at a parade of things all while they pick your pocket year after year after year and, if you let them keep doing it, soon there won't be anything left.

So what can you do? Well, you remember those city folk? The ones with purple hair, piercings, tattoos, and transgender surgeries? The ones who celebrate gay people and reject God? The ones who don't know a hard days' work like you do? They're starting to feel what you've been feeling. The big companies they work for and buy from have started sucking their communities dry too and they've been noticing. You're never going to agree with them on values, but you're in the same fight now. The threat is growing and either both of your communities are going to survive or neither one is.

Remember what I said about putting aside your pride? This is going to be the hardest part of it, you're going to need to practice your humility. You're going to need to look past what your politicians say about immigrants and gay people and start looking at what they're promising to do for your business. Not more subsidies for farms, more handouts, real action to level the playing field so that you can sell your crops and livestock and buy your equipment at a fair price, and they're going to need to work with the people from that other community to do it because your community alone doesn't have the power to break up the big businesses that are dominating everything now.

The truth is that big companies haven't just gotten powerful by working the economy, they've gotten powerful by taking over the government and tilting the field in their favor. So many of the people you vote for are in their pocket that it's going to be hard for you to find someone who's not and, when you do find them, it's going to be hard for them to get their message out to people because the guy who does what the big companies want is going to have a lot more money to swamp your radio and TV stations with ads and to buy every billboard in the county.

But if you want to stop the slow death of your community, you're going to need to do something, because what you're doing now isn't working. It's going to take the hard work that you know how to do and the type of community spirit that you've built, but it's also going to take a lot more humility than you've had to show in your life. If you can do it, there's a chance you can reverse the decline and rebuild your community. If you can't, then the way of life that you know and love may become as much a part of the past as the flintlock and the tricorner hat; a symbol of the intrepid spirit that built this country that fell behind the times and only exists now in museums.