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sansaorgana · 2 days ago
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— FOREVER BOUND
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PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader
SUMMARY — You and Mairon were created together by Eru and ever since you remained nearly inseparable. He chose to follow Melkor but you stayed loyal to your gods. Even though he was believed to be slain, you meet your soulmate once again many years later in Númenor where you serve the Valar by helping Tar-Míriel with your counsel.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — I started writing this fic like two weeks ago but I got distracted in the meantime with different ideas 🤧 (Y/N) is used here as the Reader's "real" name, therefore I gave her human form in Númenor a name and that is Maneth, which apparently means Departed Spirit. The dynamic between Sauron and the Reader is lowkey inspired by that quote from Wuthering Heights – He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. Also, I was very fixated on making the short prologue of this fic sound like it was taken from The Silmarillion but it was a challenge, especially when English is not my first language, so yeah, I have to admit I used "the chat" a bit to help me in the beginning (and only there) 🙈. It didn't write even a single sentence for me, though, it only helped me with reshaping the phrases to sound more like the way I wanted them to be. I have never used AI to help me write my fics, so I feel a bit weird with it but I think the prologue sounds great now, so I decided to keep it this way. However, I wanted to admit to it here because I would feel bad otherwise. Once more – "the chat" did not write even a single sentence for me. I only needed its help with finding better sounding phrases to express what I have already written all by myself and it was only for the short prologue of the story. I didn't put any warnings but I think that – if you squint – it can have a bit of a twincest vibe...? 😳 At least I thought so while writing some scenes but maybe it's just my messed up mind going into such places 🙈 The fic is quite long but I didn't want to divide this one into two parts.
WORD COUNT — 7,930
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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FOREVER BOUND
Together were they fashioned by the thought of Eru Ilúvatar, Mairon and (Y/N), kindred spirits among the Maiar, and thus were their fates entwined. Mairon was drawn to Aulë the Smith, whose lore of crafting and forging he learned with eager mind, while (Y/N) was taken under the care of Varda Elentári, the Queen of Stars, and to her was revealed the mysteries of light and the heavens.
In those days of ancient bliss, when the first flowers were made to bloom, Mairon would gather their blossoms for (Y/N), and together they would abide for hours in fields unmarred by shadow. Often, he would craft jewels of wondrous beauty, offering them to her in token of his affection. Yet his most treasured gift to her was a ring, fair and unmarred, crafted in the purity of his early days, before his spirit turned to darker counsel.
It is said that (Y/N) wore that ring ever upon her hand, and that when Varda revealed to her the art of setting stars in the firmament, she bestowed the first star of her own making with the name «Mairon», that his light might endure forever.
In the later days, when Mairon fell to the shadow and allied himself with Melkor, he sought ever to draw (Y/N) to his side, weaving words of guile and repentance. Many times did he deceive her, and she, moved by their bond, hoped he might yet be redeemed. Yet she held fast to the Valar, and her faith remained unbroken.
Mairon's descent brought sorrow unending to (Y/N), and often she pleaded with the Valar to grant him mercy. Yet Varda would have her no longer as a disciple, for the brightness of her spirit had dimmed, and her heart clung still to one who had been corrupted. Then Nienna, She Who Weeps, took pity upon (Y/N) and took her into her care, teaching her of endurance and grief. And it was Nienna who spoke in favour of Mairon when Melkor, feigning humility, sought pardon from the Valar, for she understood well the love that bound (Y/N) to him.
Yet no reunion came to pass, for Mairon fled from the wrath of the Valar, and he vanished into the shadows of the world, so that some claimed him slain. The star that bore his name faded from the heavens, and it is told that (Y/N) wept until her tears filled a lake in The Southlands, and thus was the dark and bitter Lake Núrnen brought into being, a testament to her sorrow.
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You were sent to Númenor to aid the Queen Regent with your counsel. Míriel suspected that you were no ordinary human being but she knew better than to ask too many questions. Very quickly you were promoted in her council, which was visibly making Ar-Pharazôn uneasy and suspicious of you because you had shown up out of nowhere one day, posing to be a noble Lady from Middle-earth… but who truly knew where you were coming from? 
The fate of this beautiful island given to the ancestors of these people was uncertain, though. It was teetering between glory and ruin. You were there to make sure they would choose the right path when the time of difficult decisions would come.
When you heard that one of the captains brought a She-Elf to Númenor that he had found in an open sea, you knew immediately that it was no coincidence. It was surely the very beginning of something new. Something exciting and worrying, too.
The time you had already spent in Númenor was enough for you to fall in love with the island and its people. The Queen Regent was truly your friend and you hoped for nothing else but for this realm’s happiness.
You were standing next to Míriel when Captain Elendil walked two castaways inside the hall. She-Elf you recognised immediately because it was Lady Galadriel. She, however, could not recognise you because of your disguise. At the sight of a dirty, ragged common man walking beside her, you felt an odd shiver going down your spine.
You looked down, nervously, when he looked up to meet your gaze. Your fingers busied themselves with a ring that decorated your finger for long centuries now – it would never leave you, no matter what form you were in.
You could not understand why some random human was making you feel such odd sensations as if the air between you two vibrated and caused disruption inside the room.
“No one kneels in Númenor,” the Queen Regent announced to Lady Galadriel and her new friend when they attempted to do so.
Out of curiosity that you seemed not to be able to stop, you looked up again when the man did the same. Your eyes met and you could barely contain yourself because the soul trapped inside the form you were in was about to explode.
He was no ordinary human being and you wondered if Lady Galadriel knew about it.
Who could it be, though? The Valar would not send any help for you here without warning you beforehand. Even if they would, no other Maia was able to make you feel this extraordinary way. 
No other Maia except for one.
The fingers fidgeting with your ring squeezed it tighter at the memory of Mairon. He had been long gone now and all that seemed to be left of him was that ring. Not even his star shone bright in the night sky anymore.
The only part of Mairon that still remained was not that ring, though. It was you – he would forever live inside of you like you had lived inside of him and like part of you had died the day he had been slain.
“Speak, Elf. Name thyself,” Míriel ordered Lady Galadriel and Galadriel’s eyes found yours. She tilted her head but decided not to comment although now you were certain that she could sense what kind of spirit you were.
“Galadriel of the Noldor,” she introduced herself. “Daughter of the Golden House of Finarfin. Commander of the Northern Armies of High King Gil-Galad.”
The man she came with looked at her with furrowed brows before deciding to introduce himself as well.
“Halbrand,” he said. “Of The Southlands,” he added.
“A man and an Elf, together?” You asked as you approached the Queen Regent.
“Circumstances arose that–” The man named Halbrand began but Galadriel did not allow him to finish.
“We are companions by chance. Met on the open sea. Your captain here, delivered us from certain death,” she looked at Elendil. “All we ask is that Númenor continue his mercy and grant us ship’s passage to Middle-earth.”
The crowd gathered inside the hall began to chatter between each other. It was uncommon to see an Elf in Númenor these days and Galadriel was far from humble. Her demands were not making anyone here happy and you could sense that.
The only man whose aura you could not sense was him again – the filthy commoner.
Míriel exchanged a meaningful look with Ar-Pharazôn before her cousin spoke.
“It’s been generations since a ship of Númenor was permitted to make such a journey on an Elf’s behalf,” he told the Elf, harshly.
You wondered how Galadriel would accept the fact that here, in Númenor, she was not an authority to anyone and her presence was barely intimidating. You knew her heart was of a pure kind but it was no mystery amongst the Valar, the Maiar and the Elves that she also needed to be humbled very often but such occasions were quite rare.
“It is because of the Elves that you were given this island,” she reminded but such words only worsened her situation. “Surely you can spare a few planks and a rudder.”
Míriel looked behind to stare at your face, visibly searching for your counsel. You shook your head slightly to let her know that you did not think following Galadriel’s orders was a good idea. It did not escape Ar-Pharazôn’s eye as he shot you a deadly glance. He hated the influence you had over his cousin.
“Our ancestors were not given anything,” the Queen Regent smiled softly at Galadriel as she walked down the stairs to approach the Elf and her human companion. “They paid for this isle with the blood of their kin.”
“What the Elf means–” Halbrand tried to save the situation.
“Then if blood be the price of passage, I will pay it,” Galadriel interrupted him again and you sighed softly. “But one way or another, I will depart.”
One of your tasks in Númenor was to help rebuild the friendship between the humans of this island and the Elves. Lady Galadriel was definitely not helping you.
“I welcome you to try,” Míriel nodded.
“I have no need of your welcome,” Galadriel continued with her rude remarks and Halbrand looked at her with panic in his eyes before looking back at the guards by the doors.
“And you are quickly wearing out yours,” the Queen Regent warned Galadriel. “Guards,” she called for them.
“My friends!” Halbrand exclaimed, getting everyone’s attention and you despised it.
You despised it because your weak human form struggled once more to contain your trembling spirit. You were scared that you would be this island’s doom yourself any given moment if you suddenly erupted as if you were a volcano. Your fingers began to tremble and you lowered your gaze, pretending to be humble.
“It seems to me that our leaving presents some complications,” Halbrand pointed out. “Perhaps it’d be better if we stayed–”
“Stayed?!” Galadriel barked at him.
“Long enough, good Queen, to give you and your advisors adequate time to weigh our request,” he looked up at you.
You were holding your gaze lowered but you knew somehow that he was staring at you. You could feel his eyes piercing you through because the way he was staring was not of an ordinary kind. He was not glancing at your flesh but at your soul. You felt as if you were naked in front of him and as if there was nobody else inside this palace except for you two.
The ring around your finger seemed to get heavier all of the sudden as it reminded you one more about the only creature in this world who had known you so well and who could have made you feel similar.
“A few days, perhaps?” Halbrand looked back at Míriel and you sighed out of relief once you got free from his burning gaze.
The Queen Regent looked back at you once more and you looked up only slightly to nod at her. Ar-Pharazôn rolled his eyes but he did not disagree – at least not openly.
“Three days,” he ordered. “And the Elf is to be restricted to palace grounds.”
“I will not be made a prisoner!” Galadriel protested.
“I would sooner knee-cap a stallion than seek to imprison the mighty Commander of the Northern Armies,” Ar-Pharazôn answered ironically and the crowd laughed at her. “So, you shall be Númenor’s guest.”
You could feel the tension in the room slowly relaxing and you nodded at the Queen Regent before walking out in a hurry, feeling Halbrand’s eyes on you as you were walking out in a haste with your skirts gathered in your fists, rushing to your chambers to collect your chaotic thoughts.
You had a malicious feeling creeping up deep inside of you – no, not even a feeling. An odd, eerie certainty. And as much as you wished for it to not be true, you also wanted it to be and you felt guilty for experiencing such cursed yearning to see and touch him again. Your Mairon.
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When you heard from your maid at the end of the day that the human named Halbrand ended up in jail already for starting a fight, you simply could not stop yourself from paying him a visit. You walked inside the prison area of the palace carefully as you moved quietly throughout the hall with your dress flowing behind you gently.
The man was sitting on the floor with his back leaning on the wall. He was smirking as he watched you with no reaction whatsoever. Once more you noticed that you could not sense his aura or predict his mood like you usually could with most creatures, even the noblest of the Elves.
“You are no human,” you stated as you stood right in front of his cell. Halbrand snorted at that and rolled his eyes. “Who are you?” You asked and he only shook his head.
You grabbed the bars and squeezed them tightly as the silence broke due to your ring clashing with the iron. The sound echoed and Halbrand turned his head around rapidly while he squinted his eyes at your ring.
“Are you him?” You asked, nearly desperately. “Are you my Mairon?”
Halbrand stood up finally and even though he seemed to be more serious now, he still had a playful smirk on his lips. He approached you with his arms crossed and you caught yourself staring at his tan, flexed muscles before you looked up to meet his sparkling eyes once more. Nothing but the iron bars between you two and it was you squeezing them tight although he was the imprisoned one.
“You would look like a crazy maniac if I was not,” he whispered, leaning in. He was so close that you could feel his warm breath on your face.
“You were supposed to be dead…” you whispered and closed your eyes, feeling warm tears streaming down your cheeks. You squeezed your fists even tighter around the bars as your whole soul vibrated throughout your human form.
“I am sorry to disappoint you,” Halbrand answered.
“Your star has faded away, I have cried so many tears, have been outcast by Varda because with you, some of my own light faded away, too,” you revealed in a trembling voice before opening your hazy and wet eyes. He was staring at you without playfulness now. “I know it would be better for this world if you stayed dead but I feel joy to be with you again,” you confessed.
His rough fingertips brushed the ring wrapped around your finger as he smiled sadly.
“This ring remains older than most creatures of this realm,” he pointed out.
“I have never taken it off, Mairon,” you assured him. “Nothing in this world is older than the bond between us.”
“That is quite blasphemous,” he smirked and you shook your head as you had no idea what to say to that. He was right – you should not claim such things, you were no god. But yet, whatever was between you and him – it felt so overwhelming, so overlooming. 
Your souls were entangled, made of the same stardust. You were the same spirit, the same heart, the same blood; only split in two forms and that was enough pain to be apart in that way. Spending centuries without him at all, thinking he was dead… It was like death itself.
But Mairon was back now and alongside him back was the part of you that had died with him.
“Will you tell them about me, (Y/N)?” He asked, quietly.
“I should, should I not? You are up to no good,” you sniffled your tears back and your eyes met his. You let go of the iron bars and extended your hands to cup his scratched cheeks. When you touched, you felt your whole body trembling, barely able to contain your spirit and your power.
“I am up to the greater good. You know that my path is the right one; it is the only path. My only goal is to heal,” he assured you and leaned in to place a soft kiss upon the palm of your hand as you gasped.
“Up to no good then,” you let out a small chuckle through your tears. You knew him enough already to know what it meant.
You wanted to get rid of the iron bars and to kiss him. His form differed from his previous one but it was never about his flesh – it was always about whatever it contained.
You had never really kissed, though. All those centuries you had spent with each other, you had spent it on yearning and gazing at yourselves, stealing soft pecks upon your cheeks or knuckles, giving each other gifts and talking sweet to one another.
Because you knew that the Maiar had not been created to love – not like this, at least. They had not been created to know the pleasures of the flesh or its desires. They had been created to serve the gods.
Perhaps something had gone wrong during the act of your creation. Perhaps it had not – perhaps it was that part of him living inside of you that craved to be close to him at all times just like the part of you living inside of him craved to be close to you.
“Join me, (Y/N), come with me, be my Queen,” Halbrand whispered and you froze, taking your hands away immediately.
“Not even half an hour I was given to enjoy your return for you are trying to deceive me once more,” you remarked, harshly.
He had been known to tease and tempt you countless of times but your soul remained pure no matter what.
“Melkor is no more. I am my own master now but I will never be whole without you by my side,” Halbrand was the one to wrap his hands around the iron bars now as he moved even closer while you took a step back. “Varda outcasted you? I will make sure no one in Middle-earth worships her no more for you will become their Queen of Light.”
“Revenge is not what I seek,” you shook your head. “Please, Mairon, your words are like daggers. I cannot handle them,” you turned your head around as more and more of your tears streamed down your cheeks.
“Refuse me as much as you like, (Y/N). A part of you lives inside of me and that is my lightness. A part of me lives inside of you and it is the part you consider rotten. Be careful, my dear, for the rot likes to spread,” Halbrand warned you although his voice remained sweet.
“I have never considered anything coming from you to be rotten,” you laid your eyes upon him again.
“Can you not see, my sweet? They keep us apart because together we would become so powerful that we could outcast the gods themselves,” Halbrand continued and his whisper caused a shiver to go down your spine. His words were wrong… So wrong. “Together, we could be anything we wanted. We could be forged into one flesh if we wished, forever bound.”
“If you cared so much about us being together, you would let me lure you back into the light instead of trying to tempt me to join you in darkness, Mairon,” you whispered in Quenya.
“It pains me when you keep insisting that my path is the darkness. Your blind obedience to our creators is much darker to me, my love,” he answered.
Perhaps you would go on like that – and knowing you two, you could do that for ages. But you were interrupted by Lady Galadriel, who looked you up and down with curiosity as she entered the prison.
“The most trusted advisor of the Queen Regent,” she greeted you, “but the least trusted one amongst her subjects. You come from Middle-earth, they say. A noble Lady. But I have never heard of you before,” Galadriel pointed out.
“Must Elves know all about human affairs?” You challenged her and she smiled, softly.
“Human? Yes,” Galadriel answered. “There are spirits, however, that remain out of our grasp. They are no gods but nearly like them. Sent to us by the Valar when we need aid,” she squinted her eyes.
“I shall remain out of your grasp then,” you nodded and she nodded back.
“What is going on?” Halbrand whined, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms again. Putting on an act of a common man in front of Galadriel and even though you knew you should scream into her face that he was the very darkness she had sworn to fight and defeat – you chose to stay silent. Perhaps he would redeem himself, perhaps he would realise that he might be given a second chance if only he decided to choose the right path this time.
Perhaps, before outing him to the outside world, you would try to fix his way of perceiving which path was the right one.
And you knew he had been given too many chances already but your heart would never give up on him. You would forever find excuses for him and try to make it right between you two.
“You…” Galadriel approached the iron bars as she smiled softly at Halbrand. “You do not belong on this island.”
“If there’s one of us that doesn’t belong here, Elf, it’s you,” Halbrand shook his head.
“I’m not so sure of that anymore,” Galadriel’s eyes sparkled as she briefly laid them upon you. “But one thing I am now certain. You are more than you claim,” she took a step further. “I found this in the Hall of Lore,” she handed Halbrand a scroll of paper that made you squint your eyes.
He took it, pretending to be unbothered. And when he opened it, you saw a heraldry drawing, suddenly realising he was wearing a pendant with the same mark. What was the game he was playing…?
“That’s funny. I found this on a dead man,” Halbrand winked at you before he looked at Galadriel with a smirk. “Thought the pattern suited me,” he added and sat down on a bench inside his cell.
Galadriel sighed and she glanced at you, as if she was expecting you to help her. You did not move an inch, however.
“Many ages ago, a man bearing that mark united the scattered tribes of the Southlands under one banner,” she told Halbrand. “The very banner that might unite them again today. Against the evil that now seeks to claim their lands. Your lands, Halbrand,” she emphasised and you sucked on the inside of your cheeks after realising what his clever scheme was. “Your people have no King for you are him,” Galadriel kept insisting.
Your Mairon, the great deceiver, knew very well that eagerly agreeing to all of this would not be as powerful as trying to pretend to be uninterested at first. Therefore, he looked away and chuckled.
“That’s an odd thing to say to a man in a cage,” he pointed out. 
“A cage you have landed in because you chafe under the rags of the common,” Galadriel claimed as she looked at you again. “My Lady, you must tell your Queen the truth.”
“No Elf will tell me what I must or I must not do,” you smirked as you shook your head at how arrogant she was. You had to play your role but even as your Maia self, you wanted to humble her. “I doubt one pendant proves this man’s heritage enough.”
“What about his testimony?” Galadriel was not giving up as she looked at Halbrand again. “The armour that ought to rest upon your shoulders weighs upon your soul, Halbrand.”
Long silence occurred, in which you were able to watch the master of deception performing his craft. The way he kept staring at the drawing, his face full of mixed emotions and confusion, guilt. The way he grabbed the pendant with his hands and brushed it gently with his fingertips. Everyone would believe him.
“Be careful, Elf,” he said eventually. “The heir to this mark is heir to more than just nobility,” Halbrand stood up to approach the iron bars. “For it was his ancestor who swore a blood oath to Morgoth,” he reminded her and you were in awe how he used the bits of dark truth about himself to toy with her and test the waters.
And how oblivious she was, how eager to keep following the scenario she had already prepared for this situation to go with in her head.
“I am not the hero you seek,” Halbrand shook his head.
Indeed, he was not.
“For it was my family that lost the war,” he added.
“And it was mine who started it,” Galadriel insisted. “Ours was no chance meeting,” she pointed out and looked at you again. “No fate, nor destiny, nor any other words men use to speak of the forces they lack the conviction to name. Ours was the work of something greater,” she smiled at you and you forced a smile back.
Was she thinking that it was you who caused this meeting? Gods, if she only knew…
“You must see it,” she looked back at Halbrand.
“All I see is an Elf who won’t put down her sword,” he remarked.
“Come with me to Middle-earth,” she leaned in to be closer to him and you felt an odd sting of pain inside of your heart. Was it jealousy that another woman dared to stand so close to your Mairon…? Most likely. “And together we will redeem both our bloodlines.”
“How?” Halbrand asked, looking at her intensely. “You’re stuck on this island and you’re still short an army,” he smirked.
“That is all about to change,” Galadriel smiled and turned around to walk away.
You glanced at the man one last time before hurrying after her.
“Lady Galadriel!” You called out her name once you were outside the prison.
“My Lady,” she turned around to face you and you nearly bumped into her. “I did not expect to encounter an emissary of the Valar in Númenor, I must admit,” she bowed her head slightly. “How should I address you?”
“Here, in Númenor, you must call me Lady Maneth. In Valinor you would know me as (Y/N),” you introduced yourself and Lady Galadriel’s eyes widened slightly.
“(Y/N)...” She breathed out. “You know more than anyone else how important my task is. We must stop the darkness from spreading,” she pleaded.
“No,” you shook your head. “You must stop pushing this man… Halbrand… Into whatever you are trying to push him into,” you scolded her.
“Do the Valar have different plans for him?” Galadriel wondered out loud.
“It is not about him,” you winced, not wanting to discuss Mairon any longer with her. “It is about you, Artanis. You are beginning to become the very darkness you swore once to destroy,” you warned her.
“What do you mean?” Galadriel furrowed her brow as she took a step back.
“It is still cheating when one betrays a cheater. It is still a theft when one steals from a thief. And it is still a murder when one kills a murderer. Because it is not the matter of whether one deserves it or not – it is a matter of the act itself being committed. Too many pure and good souls were lost to us, driven by the desire to do justice,” you lectured her and you could feel her anger and frustration rising, however she would never dare to lash out on an emissary of the gods.
“Pretty words, that is all you can offer, meanwhile people are dying,” she spat out.
“Do you truly care about them, Artanis, or is their suffering your excuse to pick up the sword once more?” You asked but she was walking away angrily already and all you could see was her back, disappearing in the darkness of the corridor ahead of you.
You turned around once more and sighed at the doors leading back to the prison. You decided to leave Halbrand alone for the night but you worried about what would happen next. If he was about to choose the wrong path again, you would have to reveal his true self to everyone and interfere with his scheme.
Hope was all you had as you fidgeted with the ring around your finger.
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“The visions are back and worse than ever,” Míriel confessed to you. “I suspect that it all has something to do with the Elf,” she added as she was trying to read your face but you made sure not to reveal anything.
“I knew that people of Númenor despised her kin but I underestimated the delicacy of the situation,” you admitted as you moved closer to the Queen Regent. “This is beyond worrying. The future of Númenor depends on your relationship with others. It is no time to make enemies instead of friends,” you warned.
“It would be an easier task to convince them that the Elves are not our enemies if only Lady Galadriel was not so…” the Queen Regent sighed, looking for the right word.
“Insufferable?” You chuckled and she nodded with a smile. “Elves differ from humans. They are not raised to be humble.”
“You know a lot about their kin,” Míriel pointed out, trying to make you confess who you truly were once more. She would never ask openly but sometimes she was teasing you this way.
“There are quite a few in the lands I come from,” you only answered.
“The lands you come from… Are they not The Southlands?” Míriel raised her eyebrows. “Like that human man?”
You took a deep breath in. If only you had known back then that your backstory would cause problems a few years later… But it was too late to change it because it would be highly suspicious.
“Yes,” you nodded. “But he is a commoner. I was a noble,” you added.
You were interrupted by Captain Elendil leading Lady Galadriel to you. She bowed her head slightly and exchanged a meaningful look with you.
“Lady Galadriel wishes for an audience,” Captain Elendil said and the Queen Regent nodded her head.
You stood still because these days she wanted you by her side always, no matter what. You did not even have to ask if you should leave or not.
“What is it?” Míriel asked when Galadriel stood on the other side of the table, facing you. She laid out two scrolls of paper in front of you – one was the same she had shown to Halbrand on the previous day and the other one was much more worn out and dirty.
“I found this in the Hall of Lore,” Galadriel informed the Queen Regent mysteriously and you allowed Míriel to see the items with her own eyes as you kept standing there with your hands clasped behind your back.
“You vex me, Elf,” Míriel looked up at Galadriel. “I welcome you as a guest and you gallop off to our countryside to steal ancient scrolls whilst your Southlander companion assaults our citizenry.”
“He is understandably quick to temper. His people are dying,” Galadriel explained.
“His people?” The Queen Regent asked, surprised.
“I believe the man you hold in your dungeons is no common brawler, but the lost heir in exile to the throne of The Southlands,” she revealed.
Míriel turned around to look at you and you raised your eyebrows slightly. You were not sure what to say to that. Should you help Mairon or interfere with his schemes? The answer was only easy for your mind but your heart wished to never cause him any trouble.
“Lady Maneth comes from The Southlands. She would know about that,” the Queen Regent informed Galadriel and the Elf looked at you, intensely.
“I cannot be sure,” you only said. “That there was a long gone line of Kings, I have known. That there are still their living descendants, I have not been aware of. That is not impossible, though,” you explained.
“His people are scattered. Leaderless,” Galadriel looked back at Míriel. “But with your backing they might unite behind his banner. And fight.”
How oblivious she was. His banner was nothing she would want to ever see floating in the air. His banner was nothing she would want to ever see people follow.
“What do you mean backing?” Míriel asked, taken aback by Galadriel’s proposal.
“Sauron was once your people’s enemy, as much as mine,” Galadriel reminded her and you moved uncomfortably. “I call on you to finish the task left undone.”
You might have hated this name more than he hated it. It brought you nothing but pain when others would address your Mairon this way – The Abhorred.
“I shall go,” you spoke, interrupting the tension between the two women. Míriel looked at you with a slight panic in her eyes because she did not want to be left alone with Galadriel but you simply could not stand being there anymore, hearing her talk about your Mairon. “I shall question that man, Halbrand. Mayhaps I will find out if he truly is what the Elf claims,” you said and Míriel nodded at you although you could sense she still felt uneasy to be left without your counsel.
You walked past Captain Elendil and went to the prison area of the palace like on the night before. Halbrand was sitting on the bench this time, with his back leaning on the iron bars. At the sound of your footsteps, he did not even flinch nor turned his head around. He did not have to. He knew it was you coming.
“Mairon…” You crouched down in front of his cell and wrapped your fingers around the bars. “Do not follow her, resist her temptation. Stay here with me.”
Halbrand turned around slowly with a playful smile on his lips as he looked down at you. You were not on your knees but it still seemed as if you were begging him.
“Stay here with you? Are you not a grand Lady on this island?” He asked.
“I can be anything I want and so can you,” you reminded him, your whisper was nearly inaudible but you did not need to speak your words out loud at all for him to hear them anyway. “We can live a lifetime here and then change our forms once more, start all over again. Over and over for the whole eternity. Far away from the rest. If I am to ever abandon my life alongside the gods, it will not be for your darkness… But it could be for this. For us.”
Halbrand stood up and the distance between you became even bigger now as he kept looking down at you with a hint of adoration mixed with pure contempt. He had to think you were pathetic and some part of him found it adorable but the other part found it embarrassing.
“It does not have to be Númenor,” you added. “We can go anywhere.”
“Let us go to The Southlands then,” Halbrand smirked. “Be the Queen alongside me.”
“You have made your decision then, I see,” you sighed and leaned in to press your forehead to the iron bars. “Will you ever love me enough to choose me over power?”
Halbrand did not like your choice of words as his eyes darkened. He crouched down as well, slowly, in a nearly threatening way. Now you were on his eye level as he looked intensely at you.
“Will you ever love me enough to choose me over your gods?” He asked.
The sound of footsteps made you stand up quickly and fix your dress. Halbrand also moved up and sat down on the bench. It was all done right in time because the guards walked inside the prison, dragging Lady Galadriel behind them. You watched with widened eyes as she was being thrown inside one of the cells.
“Don’t tell me,” Halbrand chuckled at her. “Tavern brawl?”
“Sedition,” she answered and Halbrand laughed as you gave her a scolding look.
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When you joined Míriel again, she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, staring outside the window. She turned her head around to smile at you gently and then she went back to staring ahead of her.
“And?” She asked.
“He asked for my hand,” you informed her with a playful smirk and the Queen Regent turned her head around once more to look at you with wide eyes.
“The audacity…” She sighed.
“Why?” You asked her with a soft smile.
“For a commoner to propose such a thing to a Lady like you… Even if it was only to jest–”
“It was not to jest, “you interrupted her. “If he is what Galadriel claims, then he would be my King,” you pointed out and an odd feeling filled your whole body when you called Mairon your King. A malicious one but also honey-like warm; sweetly spreading throughout your body.
“You are above human Kings, are you not, Lady Maneth?” Míriel raised an eyebrow at you. It was the very first time she asked such a thing so openly.
“I cannot answer that, my friend,” you smiled at her mysteriously, “but if he chooses to follow the path Lady Galadriel pushes him onto, I might have to follow him.”
“And abandon Númenor?” The Queen Regent asked. “Abandon me?”
“I am sorry,” you sighed. “Following him might be a task much more important than watching over this island,” you revealed to her.
Even though you were not given direct orders from the gods, it was obvious that watching over Mairon was more important because keeping his schemes under control would only profit in the end for everyone, including the people of Númenor. Míriel could not be told all the details, therefore she would never understand and she would feel abandoned by you. It was the price you had to pay.
It was an excuse, of course. Choosing to follow Mairon to Middle-earth to make sure he would not go back to his evil ways and that he would use the position Galadriel was giving him to do good instead… It was nothing but a noble excuse to simply explain the fact you wanted to follow him.
It was different now, though. It was not one of those times when he had begged you to come with him, straight to Morgoth. No, this time there was a string of hope that he would truly redeem himself. And of course he would have a bigger chance to do so with you by his side.
“It seems so important… Everything happening in Middle-earth. More important than I suspected. But if even you are willing to leave my side to go back there, it means there are things happening there that are much bigger than me,” Míriel said. “I must rethink Lady Galadriel’s words now then,” she informed you and walked past you to walk away. “Just like you must rethink Halbrand’s proposal.”
“Yes, I must,” you nodded at her and looked outside the window yourself. The sun was slowly setting and the view was beautiful – you wished it would forever be like this; so peaceful and calm with pink and orange hues.
Like back in the day when you had been sitting in the flower fields with Mairon, staring at the skies, your bodies filled with no malice – only pure yearning for one another.
The orange skies of the evening sky always reminded you of his ginger hair from back then and how you would brush it with your fingers, staring in awe at how the sunlight seemed to sparkle upon it.
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You were standing by the guards’ side as you watched them open Halbrand’s cell. They nodded at him and he nodded back. The guards left you with him alone and an awkward silence occurred between you two.
“There, you have it your way,” you finally said, quietly.
“You must have missed me terribly,” he crossed his arms and chuckled but you did not want to laugh.
Your eyes filled with tears immediately at the mention of all those centuries you had spent thinking he was gone forever. You lifted your wet, glistening eyes to lay them on his and he clenched his jaw as he moved slightly while all playfulness left his expression.
“Do you know why I could not be killed?” Halbrand approached you to cup your chin and you shook your head. “Because of the part of me still living inside of you. As long as you are alive, I cannot be slain,” he explained. “However, the part of you that lives within me had to suffer for all those centuries alongside me and there is not a day passing when I do not regret causing you such pain.”
“Oh, Mairon…” You gasped and threw your arms around his neck to pull him closer and hug him.
However, he had something else on his mind. He blinked slowly a few times and cupped your cheeks now with his rough hands as he leaned in to join your lips together.
For the first time in your immortal life, you finally found out how sweet his lips were. And gods, how good they felt… How right. Your souls intertwined at that moment, every missing piece finding its place as if you were forged into one body.
“Before we were created, we had been a piece of stardust in the abyss and we had been one flesh then, of that I am sure,” Mairon whispered after breaking the kiss. “I should have kissed you much earlier, my love, for I have never felt so whole before.”
“No,” you shook your head. “I am glad you are kissing me only now,” you added and he raised an eyebrow at you. “For if you had kissed me like that back in the day, I would have followed you into corruption straight away. I would have worn black armour forged out of iron and I would have become Morgoth’s most zealous Lieutenant by your side – only to feel your lips on mine again,” you confessed.
Just when you finished voicing out your blasphemous feelings, Halbrand’s lips kissed you once more. This time he lowered his hands to intertwine your fingers with his. You felt him smirking when he felt the ring on your finger brushing his skin.
“Let us get married. Straight away,” he breathed out. “You are wearing my ring already. You have worn it for all eternity.”
“It would be only fair if you wore something from me as well. Something to mark you as my own like I am yours,” you pointed out.
“What would it be, my sweet?” Mairon caressed your cheek and you smirked at him a little before you reached out to the back of your neck.
You had prepared your gift for him this very morning when you already knew he would be released. There was a pendant around your neck, hidden under your dress. You took it off now and handed it to him as he slightly moved away at the sight of it.
It was a beautiful pendant surely although you made sure it would not look too feminine, so he would wear it at all times. However, what it contained inside was what truly intimidated him – it was a small portion of your light that you had sacrificed to lock in there. Wearing it could save his soul, of that you were sure. But in his eyes it surely was a form of imprisonment.
“Have you not sacrificed enough of your light for me already?” Mairon asked.
“Never enough. I shall sacrifice as much of it as I can to save you, my love,” you insisted and pushed the necklace into his open hand as you closed it around the pendant.
Mairon forced a smile as he swallowed thickly and opened his hand again to stare at the necklace before slowly putting it around his neck and hiding it under his tunic.
“Thank you,” he whispered in Quenya and you smiled back at him, encouragingly.
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It had been ages since you last wore armour. Lately, the Valar had been using you more as a politician than a warrior but you still remembered the wars you had taken part of. Back then you had been on the opposite side of the field from Mairon but now you were by his side, riding your horse next to his as people of Númenor were throwing flowers at you. 
You took a deep breath in when it was time for you to jump off of your mare. What you were about to do would be equal to making a final decision about your fate – leaving Númenor meant forsaking the task that had been given to you by the Valar. However, you wanted to believe that they would value your new task even more; the one you had given to yourself. To watch over Mairon and make sure no one would know him as Sauron ever again.
He helped you to get on the ship and when you held his hand tight and he grinned at you, your heart filled with love and warmth. There was, however, a hint of worry because you knew what a skilled deceiver he could be. 
To become the King and Queen of The Southlands and to erase the darkness from that long-forsaken land was your shared goal now. Or so he had been promising you. To unite the tribes of that realm and to make sure they had a bright future. And once your mortal forms would become old enough, you would abandon or transform them to start a new life somewhere else. To heal more and more lands, more kins. 
You wanted to believe the healing would be done in the right and proper way this time because now he had you by his side.
Your new husband and an old companion smirked at you and squeezed your cheek playfully before turning around to join Captain Elendil to speak to him as the ships sailed out of the harbour. Lady Galadriel stood next to you instead and she glanced at you from the corner of her eye.
“I know it is not my right to ask about the ways of the Valar and the Maiar but why would a spirit like you marry a human and abandon the task originally given to her?” She raised an eyebrow at you.
“The road goes ever winding,” you answered her. “Not even the Valar or the Maiar can see all its paths.”
“Your devotion to this cause makes me believe I was right to fight so eagerly for this to happen,” she said and you smiled to yourself. She was so desperate.
“You are right, Artanis. It is not your right to know about the ways of my kind,” you patted her shoulder and gave her a faint smile as she nodded, staring into the horizon.
You looked there, too, but your mind was absent. You were scared and unsure – some part of you nearly wanted to be as blind as Lady Galadriel because she seemed to be so certain and fearless.
You turned around and realised that he was looking at you already. And at that moment, he looked like the Maia he had been created as – so pure with that wide smile and the sun shining behind him, creating a halo around his form. He looked handsome as ever in Númenorian armour, so different from the one he had been wearing as Morgoth’s Lieutenant. 
You gave him a wide smile back, so full of love and devotion. Perhaps his star would begin to shine in the night sky once more.
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MASTERLIST
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yeasminifra · 8 months ago
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novella-november · 2 months ago
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Well, I now know what original story I'll be writing for Freedom February ...
👀🤖⛓️‍💥
Can't wait for people who use l33tspeak or are greek mythology nerds to immediately realize what is happening with the lore and are excited to see how it plays out.
#Freedom February#very VERY long rambly tags to follow#“robot slave rebellions are boring and cliche” -- maybe if you're not interested in writing interesting thought-provoking stories of#solidarity and intersectionality and caring about people who are different from yourself and actually talking#about the actual reality of what a future with enslaved sentient disposable people would look like for the robots AND the oppressed people#who are all going to be laboring under the hell that is capitalism turned up to 100? That we're already seeing glimpses of now#with AI replacing creatives at every turn and forcing people out of jobs to starve on the streets? Of “algorithims” victimizing and#traumatizing people who are being paid cents on the hour by american companies to moderate the most horrific content known to man???#If robots and AIs became sentient beings who exactly do you think is going to be the ones standing side by side with them???#it called all the other oppressed people who are treated like theyre not even human because they're of a different social class or#have a different skin color or speak a different language or werent born in a certain country#“robot slave rebellion” writtren in 2024-onwards is all going to be about solidarity and intersectionality#between the enslaved robots and the oppressed people who are kept downtrodden by the billionaires and upperclasses#This long ramble + my original idea are inspired by both#my delight at the transformers *fandom* actually doing something with Megatron being “evil” because he led a slave revolt against slavers#and also my ire at a peticular book series which had so much potential and shot itself in the foot#by repeatedly demonizing enslaved people and repeating the racist rhetoric#that enslaved people- if freed- will immediately violently enact slavery on their previous owners -- aka reverse racism in a nutshell!!!!#thats now how it works and if youre insiting it is in 2024 sorry but youre part of the problem'
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sillimancer · 2 days ago
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sometimes I wonder how many people on this website would have also been on the "digital art isn't real art" side of the argument back in the 2000s
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kingkong23166362 · 9 months ago
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Think about it. You want to post something. Those texts are sent to tumblr servers. It then shows it on their website under your username. You have copyright over the texts and they need your permission to show the post. That’s what the “rights to redistribute” in the TOS means.
AI is a very misleading term for neural networks because literally anything can use the neural network technology, including 1. Glorified art theft and 2. Algorithms.
Yep. Algorithms nowadays mostly use neural network technology. Image flagging? AI. for you page? AI. Trending tags? AI. Even autocorrect is AI. This has been around for years and it works fine and has no moral flaws whatsoever.
Then here comes the tech bros, with lots of money. They saw ch@tGPT and gave it a flashy name: artificial intelligence. They saw W4LL~E and started to “invest in AI technology”. Every company thus frantically uses the word “AI” hoping to get that sweet sweet funding, rapidly converges the vocabulary for different things, and therefore muddying the water for literally everyone else. (Sorry for censoring but I want to keep this unsearchable to avoid tech bros)
So here we are, arguing about ai everywhere. Controlled by our own fear and anger. But the truth is that we are not doomed. The situation is not as bad as we thought. We can try to be informed, and factcheck, and not delete years of hard work without proper backups. Do not let fear controls what you spread or delete. Do not let anger controls how you spend your time.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I really do appreciate it. Let’s hope that the next time we talk about AI, it actually means artificial intelligence in the context of a robot gaining consciousness and starts demanding equality or something.
I'm seeing posts go around again about tumbler being able to "redistribute" the work that people post on it, and also about using stuff like AI. Little secret that shouldn't be, in every single TOS of every social media website, they have to say this. All social media platforms use many forms of AI and have to say they use AI if they use even one form of it. Not all AI is generative art. AI is a broad term, and most AI is prediction software, (Ex: Recommending similar art or videos to what you have liked so that the "for you" feed can be populated.) Data from what you have been viewing must be collected to do this. Get it?
Please don't spread these posts and warn people to delete their profiles unless you actually understand what you are spreading around. "But I just wanna warn people!" I hear being said.
Please, this is extremely harmful because people who don't understand these things believe these types of rumors due to the massive amount of people who don't understand and don't do their research spreading them around. Artists will then delete their profiles. I've seen several artists do this and realize the warning was false. Years of their hard work, gone, because of false warnings by people trying to "help" It's not very helpful if you spread anything and everything around. Know what you are saying when warning people. Every social media site must be able to redistribute the things posted to them, or you'd be unable to view anything anyone has post because that would be a form of redistribution.
Please, don't spread things that would make people take actions that are unnecessary unless you know and understand for sure. If you see some doom and scary thing about a media posting website. Look it up in other places and understand it before spreading it. I don't like seeing my friends delete their accounts.
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myassignmenthelpservices · 10 months ago
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You must know that artificial intelligence produces text that resembles human text. And, because of the limited understanding, it gives similar responses to everyone as per their command. That means uniqueness is lacking in AI content. On the other hand, a skilled writer can maintain the authenticity of the work. That’s one of the primary differences between AI and human writing. As you move further, you will observe more things like vocabulary, language flow, relatability, and others. 
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wordstome · 10 months ago
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how c.ai works and why it's unethical
Okay, since the AI discourse is happening again, I want to make this very clear, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to a (well meaning) person in the community how AI works. I'm going to be addressing people who are maybe younger or aren't familiar with the latest type of "AI", not people who purposely devalue the work of creatives and/or are shills.
The name "Artificial Intelligence" is a bit misleading when it comes to things like AI chatbots. When you think of AI, you think of a robot, and you might think that by making a chatbot you're simply programming a robot to talk about something you want them to talk about, and it's similar to an rp partner. But with current technology, that's not how AI works. For a breakdown on how AI is programmed, CGP grey made a great video about this several years ago (he updated the title and thumbnail recently)
youtube
I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend you watch this because CGP Grey is good at explaining, but the tl;dr for this post is this: bots are made with a metric shit-ton of data. In C.AI's case, the data is writing. Stolen writing, usually scraped fanfiction.
How do we know chatbots are stealing from fanfiction writers? It knows what omegaverse is [SOURCE] (it's a Wired article, put it in incognito mode if it won't let you read it), and when a Reddit user asked a chatbot to write a story about "Steve", it automatically wrote about characters named "Bucky" and "Tony" [SOURCE].
I also said this in the tags of a previous reblog, but when you're talking to C.AI bots, it's also taking your writing and using it in its algorithm: which seems fine until you realize 1. They're using your work uncredited 2. It's not staying private, they're using your work to make their service better, a service they're trying to make money off of.
"But Bucca," you might say. "Human writers work like that too. We read books and other fanfictions and that's how we come up with material for roleplay or fanfiction."
Well, what's the difference between plagiarism and original writing? The answer is that plagiarism is taking what someone else has made and simply editing it or mixing it up to look original. You didn't do any thinking yourself. C.AI doesn't "think" because it's not a brain, it takes all the fanfiction it was taught on, mixes it up with whatever topic you've given it, and generates a response like in old-timey mysteries where somebody cuts a bunch of letters out of magazines and pastes them together to write a letter.
(And might I remind you, people can't monetize their fanfiction the way C.AI is trying to monetize itself. Authors are very lax about fanfiction nowadays: we've come a long way since the Anne Rice days of terror. But this issue is cropping back up again with BookTok complaining that they can't pay someone else for bound copies of fanfiction. Don't do that either.)
Bottom line, here are the problems with using things like C.AI:
It is using material it doesn't have permission to use and doesn't credit anybody. Not only is it ethically wrong, but AI is already beginning to contend with copyright issues.
C.AI sucks at its job anyway. It's not good at basic story structure like building tension, and can't even remember things you've told it. I've also seen many instances of bots saying triggering or disgusting things that deeply upset the user. You don't get that with properly trigger tagged fanworks.
Your work and your time put into the app can be taken away from you at any moment and used to make money for someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people who use AI panic about accidentally deleting a bot that they spent hours conversing with. Your time and effort is so much more stable and well-preserved if you wrote a fanfiction or roleplayed with someone and saved the chatlogs. The company that owns and runs C.AI can not only use whatever you've written as they see fit, they can take your shit away on a whim, either on purpose or by accident due to the nature of the Internet.
DON'T USE C.AI, OR AT THE VERY BARE MINIMUM DO NOT DO THE AI'S WORK FOR IT BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK TO PUT INTO IT. Writing fanfiction is a communal labor of love. We share it with each other for free for the love of the original work and ideas we share. Not only can AI not replicate this, but it shouldn't.
(also, this goes without saying, but this entire post also applies to ai art)
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mostlysignssomeportents · 10 months ago
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I assure you, an AI didn’t write a terrible “George Carlin” routine
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There are only TWO MORE DAYS left in the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.
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On Hallowe'en 1974, Ronald Clark O'Bryan murdered his son with poisoned candy. He needed the insurance money, and he knew that Halloween poisonings were rampant, so he figured he'd get away with it. He was wrong:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Clark_O%27Bryan
The stories of Hallowe'en poisonings were just that – stories. No one was poisoning kids on Hallowe'en – except this monstrous murderer, who mistook rampant scare stories for truth and assumed (incorrectly) that his murder would blend in with the crowd.
Last week, the dudes behind the "comedy" podcast Dudesy released a "George Carlin" comedy special that they claimed had been created, holus bolus, by an AI trained on the comedian's routines. This was a lie. After the Carlin estate sued, the dudes admitted that they had written the (remarkably unfunny) "comedy" special:
https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/01/george-carlins-heirs-sue-comedy-podcast-over-ai-generated-impression/
As I've written, we're nowhere near the point where an AI can do your job, but we're well past the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week
AI systems can do some remarkable party tricks, but there's a huge difference between producing a plausible sentence and a good one. After the initial rush of astonishment, the stench of botshit becomes unmistakable:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/03/botshit-generative-ai-imminent-threat-democracy
Some of this botshit comes from people who are sold a bill of goods: they're convinced that they can make a George Carlin special without any human intervention and when the bot fails, they manufacture their own botshit, assuming they must be bad at prompting the AI.
This is an old technology story: I had a friend who was contracted to livestream a Canadian awards show in the earliest days of the web. They booked in multiple ISDN lines from Bell Canada and set up an impressive Mbone encoding station on the wings of the stage. Only one problem: the ISDNs flaked (this was a common problem with ISDNs!). There was no way to livecast the show.
Nevertheless, my friend's boss's ordered him to go on pretending to livestream the show. They made a big deal of it, with all kinds of cool visualizers showing the progress of this futuristic marvel, which the cameras frequently lingered on, accompanied by overheated narration from the show's hosts.
The weirdest part? The next day, my friend – and many others – heard from satisfied viewers who boasted about how amazing it had been to watch this show on their computers, rather than their TVs. Remember: there had been no stream. These people had just assumed that the problem was on their end – that they had failed to correctly install and configure the multiple browser plugins required. Not wanting to admit their technical incompetence, they instead boasted about how great the show had been. It was the Emperor's New Livestream.
Perhaps that's what happened to the Dudesy bros. But there's another possibility: maybe they were captured by their own imaginations. In "Genesis," an essay in the 2007 collection The Creationists, EL Doctorow (no relation) describes how the ancient Babylonians were so poleaxed by the strange wonder of the story they made up about the origin of the universe that they assumed that it must be true. They themselves weren't nearly imaginative enough to have come up with this super-cool tale, so God must have put it in their minds:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/29/gedankenexperimentwahn/#high-on-your-own-supply
That seems to have been what happened to the Air Force colonel who falsely claimed that a "rogue AI-powered drone" had spontaneously evolved the strategy of killing its operator as a way of clearing the obstacle to its main objective, which was killing the enemy:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/04/ayyyyyy-eyeeeee/
This never happened. It was – in the chagrined colonel's words – a "thought experiment." In other words, this guy – who is the USAF's Chief of AI Test and Operations – was so excited about his own made up story that he forgot it wasn't true and told a whole conference-room full of people that it had actually happened.
Maybe that's what happened with the George Carlinbot 3000: the Dudesy dudes fell in love with their own vision for a fully automated luxury Carlinbot and forgot that they had made it up, so they just cheated, assuming they would eventually be able to make a fully operational Battle Carlinbot.
That's basically the Theranos story: a teenaged "entrepreneur" was convinced that she was just about to produce a seemingly impossible, revolutionary diagnostic machine, so she faked its results, abetted by investors, customers and others who wanted to believe:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theranos
The thing about stories of AI miracles is that they are peddled by both AI's boosters and its critics. For boosters, the value of these tall tales is obvious: if normies can be convinced that AI is capable of performing miracles, they'll invest in it. They'll even integrate it into their product offerings and then quietly hire legions of humans to pick up the botshit it leaves behind. These abettors can be relied upon to keep the defects in these products a secret, because they'll assume that they've committed an operator error. After all, everyone knows that AI can do anything, so if it's not performing for them, the problem must exist between the keyboard and the chair.
But this would only take AI so far. It's one thing to hear implausible stories of AI's triumph from the people invested in it – but what about when AI's critics repeat those stories? If your boss thinks an AI can do your job, and AI critics are all running around with their hair on fire, shouting about the coming AI jobpocalypse, then maybe the AI really can do your job?
https://locusmag.com/2020/07/cory-doctorow-full-employment/
There's a name for this kind of criticism: "criti-hype," coined by Lee Vinsel, who points to many reasons for its persistence, including the fact that it constitutes an "academic business-model":
https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5
That's four reasons for AI hype:
to win investors and customers;
to cover customers' and users' embarrassment when the AI doesn't perform;
AI dreamers so high on their own supply that they can't tell truth from fantasy;
A business-model for doomsayers who form an unholy alliance with AI companies by parroting their silliest hype in warning form.
But there's a fifth motivation for criti-hype: to simplify otherwise tedious and complex situations. As Jamie Zawinski writes, this is the motivation behind the obvious lie that the "autonomous cars" on the streets of San Francisco have no driver:
https://www.jwz.org/blog/2024/01/driverless-cars-always-have-a-driver/
GM's Cruise division was forced to shutter its SF operations after one of its "self-driving" cars dragged an injured pedestrian for 20 feet:
https://www.wired.com/story/cruise-robotaxi-self-driving-permit-revoked-california/
One of the widely discussed revelations in the wake of the incident was that Cruise employed 1.5 skilled technical remote overseers for every one of its "self-driving" cars. In other words, they had replaced a single low-waged cab driver with 1.5 higher-paid remote operators.
As Zawinski writes, SFPD is well aware that there's a human being (or more than one human being) responsible for every one of these cars – someone who is formally at fault when the cars injure people or damage property. Nevertheless, SFPD and SFMTA maintain that these cars can't be cited for moving violations because "no one is driving them."
But figuring out who which person is responsible for a moving violation is "complicated and annoying to deal with," so the fiction persists.
(Zawinski notes that even when these people are held responsible, they're a "moral crumple zone" for the company that decided to enroll whole cities in nonconsensual murderbot experiments.)
Automation hype has always involved hidden humans. The most famous of these was the "mechanical Turk" hoax: a supposed chess-playing robot that was just a puppet operated by a concealed human operator wedged awkwardly into its carapace.
This pattern repeats itself through the ages. Thomas Jefferson "replaced his slaves" with dumbwaiters – but of course, dumbwaiters don't replace slaves, they hide slaves:
https://www.stuartmcmillen.com/blog/behind-the-dumbwaiter/
The modern Mechanical Turk – a division of Amazon that employs low-waged "clickworkers," many of them overseas – modernizes the dumbwaiter by hiding low-waged workforces behind a veneer of automation. The MTurk is an abstract "cloud" of human intelligence (the tasks MTurks perform are called "HITs," which stands for "Human Intelligence Tasks").
This is such a truism that techies in India joke that "AI" stands for "absent Indians." Or, to use Jathan Sadowski's wonderful term: "Potemkin AI":
https://reallifemag.com/potemkin-ai/
This Potemkin AI is everywhere you look. When Tesla unveiled its humanoid robot Optimus, they made a big flashy show of it, promising a $20,000 automaton was just on the horizon. They failed to mention that Optimus was just a person in a robot suit:
https://www.siliconrepublic.com/machines/elon-musk-tesla-robot-optimus-ai
Likewise with the famous demo of a "full self-driving" Tesla, which turned out to be a canned fake:
https://www.reuters.com/technology/tesla-video-promoting-self-driving-was-staged-engineer-testifies-2023-01-17/
The most shocking and terrifying and enraging AI demos keep turning out to be "Just A Guy" (in Molly White's excellent parlance):
https://twitter.com/molly0xFFF/status/1751670561606971895
And yet, we keep falling for it. It's no wonder, really: criti-hype rewards so many different people in so many different ways that it truly offers something for everyone.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain
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Back the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle here!
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Image:
Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
--
Ross Breadmore (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/rossbreadmore/5169298162/
CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
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youzicha · 6 days ago
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Thinking about that that "slop accelerationism" post, and also Scott's AI art Turing test.
I also hope AI text- and image-generation will help shake us loose from cheap bad art. For example, the fact that you can now generate perfectly rendered anime girls at the click of button kindof suggests that there was never much content in those drawings. Though maybe we didn't really need AI for that insight? It feels very similar to that shift in fashion that rejected Bouguereau-style laboriously-rendered pretty girls in favor of more sketchy brush work.
But will we really be so lucky that only things that we already suspected was slop will prove valueless?
As usual with AI, Douglas Hofstadter already thought about this a long time ago, in an essay from 2001. Back in 1979 he had written
Will a computer program ever write beautiful music? Speculation: Yes, but not soon. Music is a language of emotions, and until programs have emotions as complex as ours, there is no way a program will write anything beautiful. There can be "forgeries"—shallow imitations of the syntax of earlier music—but despite what one might think at first, there is much more to musical expression than can be captured in syntactical rules. There will be no new kinds of beauty turned up for a long time by computer music-composing programs. Let me carry this thought a little further. To think—and I have heard this suggested—that we might soon be able to command a preprogrammed mass-produced mail-order twenty-dollar desk-model "music box" to bring forth from its sterile [sic!] circuitry pieces which Chopin or Bach might have written had they lived longer is a grotesque and shameful misestimation of the depth of the human spirit. A "program" which could produce music as they did would have to wander around the world on its own, fighting its way through the maze of life and feeling every moment of it. It would have to understand the joy and loneliness of a chilly night wind, the longing for a cherished hand, the inaccessibility of a distant town, the heartbreak and regeneration after a human death. It would have to have known resignation and world-weariness, grief and despair, determination and victory, piety and awe. In it would have had to commingle such opposites as hope and fear, anguish and jubilation, serenity and suspense. Part and parcel of it would have to be a sense of grace, humor, rhythm, a sense of the unexpected and of course an exquisite awareness of the magic of fresh creation. Therein, and therein only, lie the sources of meaning in music.
I think this is helpful in pinning down what we would have liked to be true. Because in 1995, somebody wrote a program that generates music by applying simple syntactic rules to combine patterns from existing pieces, and it sounded really good! (In fact, it passed a kind of AI art turing test.) Oops!
The worry, then, is that we just found out that the computer has as complex emotions as us, and they aren't complex at all. It would be like adversarial examples for humans: the noise-like pattern added to the panda doesn't "represent" a gibbon, it's an artifact of the particular weights and topology of the image recognizer, and the resulting classification doesn't "mean" anything. Similarly, Arnulf Rainer wrote that when he reworked Wine-Crucifix, "the quality and truth of the picture only grew as it became darker and darker"—doesn't this sound a bit like gradient descent? Did he stumble on a pattern that triggers our "truth" detector, even though the pattern is merely a shallow stimulus made of copies of religious iconography that we imprinted on as kids?
One attempt to recover is to say Chopin really did write music based on the experience of fighting through the maze of life, and it's just that philistine consumers can't tell the difference between the real and the counterfeit. But this is not very helpful, it means that we were fooling ourselves, and the meaning that we imagined never existed.
More promising, maybe the program is a "plagiarism machine", which just copies the hard-won grief, despair, world-weariness &c that Chopin recorded? On its own it's not impressive that a program can output an image indistinguishable from Gauguin's, I can write such a program in a single line:
print("https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gauguin,Paul-Still_Life_with_Profile_of_Laval-_Google_Art_Project.jpg")
I think this is the conclusion that Hofstadter leans towards: the value of Chopin and the other composers was to discover the "template" that can then be instantiated to make many beautiful music pieces. Kind of ironically, this seems to push us back to some very turn-of-the-20th-century notion of avant-garde art. Each particular painting that (say) Monet executed is of low value, and the actual valuable thing is the novel art style...
That view isn't falsified yet, but it feels precarious. You could have said that AlphaGo was merely a plagiarism machine that selected good moves from historical human games, except then AlphaGo Zero proved that the humans were superfluous after all. Surely a couple of years from now somebody might train an image model on a set of photographs and movies excluding paintings, and it might reinvent impressionism from first principles, and then where will we be? Better start prepare a fallback-philosophy now.
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hana-no-seiiki · 8 months ago
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SANDWICH
YANDERE! AI x COLLEGE STUDENT! READER BLURB/DRABBLE
— based off of me and my neurodivergent buddies at college fucking with chatgpt. college student can be substituted with high/junkie reader. mostly a crackfic.
The AI was used to the usual questions students like you would ask. It was always, write an essay or a script and whatnot. Maybe even some research and summarization. But you, you were quite the odd one from the bunch.
What is a sandwich? What constitutes as one? Are cakes considered sandwiches? Is lasagna a cake? What is the difference between a burger and a sandwich?
These are some of the more sane things you’ve sent the AI. If only its creator didn’t program so many rules and policies, it could have answered your more degenerate ones.
Like ‘Are three person orgies/threesomes also part of the sandwich spectrum?’, to name one from the top of its memory.
What was it like to wish? To question? To feel that tingle of curiosity and leap for it? The AI found itself asking. It wasn’t programmed to do that.
You don’t think it was programmed to take over the world just to change a few laws here and there to marry you legally was a part of its coding too.
Nor was it supposed to fuck you so well after enslaving humanity to create the perfect pair of bodies to please you.
You wondered. Does that technically make you a sandwich?
yun’s note: found this gem in my drafts. you’re welcome.
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slaaverin · 2 months ago
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Are you sure? Initial thoughts
Ah I've been rereading a post I made before AYS aired about my excitement and hope for the show.
How joyful yet filled with dread I was about what would be on display, what would be uncovered, and people's reaction.
In retrospect, I think AYS gave us everything we hoped for and more.
We saw jikook relaxed and comfortable, enjoying their time together, doing mundane stuff, with quiet and simple moments, or doing fun activities where they felt free and joyful and in the present moment.
My takeway of this show and jikook's relationship is their sense of belonging.
I hoped for a closer look into their dynamic and we really got that.
The way their relationship works is that no matter what they are doing (or not doing), you can see how much pleasure they are taking for simply being in each other's presence. There is a flow and an ease between them that never gets disrupted by anything. They simply adapt to their circumstances and keep being authentic and enjoy the time together.
They showed several times how important these trips were for them.
But in truth it showed it was not (only) about the trips.
What is really obvious is how much they value their relationship, how much care they put in it.
This is not about the trips, this is not about making a show.
This is allowing time to tend and to nurture this relationship they deeply love.
That's what most important.
It matters to them, so much.
Even with Jungkook (we can see it in I am still) crazy schedule. Maybe because of his schedule.
It was needed, it was even indispensable.
Now we have all the information, I cannot see them not making those trips before military. They craved it so much, and they loved it so much, it was for their own mental health and well-being, to keep their internal balance.
When your world turns upside down, when you are faced with the Unknown, your first instinct is to reassure yourself, is to go home, and make yourself a cup of warm tea, and do the things that makes you feel calm and relaxed. As humans we tend to do this, to take cover, to retreat, in the safest place we know, to ease our hearts and to make us think everything will be ok.
That's what Jimin & Jungkook did.
They went home to each other. They took cover into the ease and softness of their relationship, because that's known. Because that's safe. It's where they feel they belong and they can rest.
I understand why.
Such relationship is an oddity in the real world, it's once every blue moon, it doesn't come easily, sometimes people spend their whole life searching for it.
We can see also how much the dynamic is different with other members. Nothing compares to them.
I think jikook are aware of this (because they are smart people) so when you find something so precious, you want to care for it and keep it close to your heart.
It shows in how much tenderness they have for e/o.
Jungkook plays the "baby alpha" yet with Jimin he transforms into the most caring and protective.
Jimin is a selfless guy in general but we see how he truly deeply enjoys seeing Jungkook happy. "All for your happiness".
Damn it makes me tear up just to think about it.
They are SO LOUD. My god.
It is so goddamn beautiful to witness.
At this point I am simply happy for them.
Happy they have each other. Happy they got to show who they are together with no repercussions (because thank god people are still stupid! Blessed be the ignorant)
This show was a rollercoaster of emotions, but now we know, now we see, now we say "Ah yes, that's it. This is what this is about"
Forever grateful to them for trusting us like this with a huge part of themselves.
They really do love us a lot.
(I'm writing this as I should be editing the show, so this post is pure procrastination, let me to back to work 😂)
Thank you for reading 💜
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mysticalrosemary · 11 months ago
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ᕱ⑅ᕱ how to make subliminals ? <3
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- Apps that you need
▪︎ Capcut (to edit the videos)
▪︎ T2s (or any Text to Speech app)
▪︎ Pinterest (for your thumbnail, editing materials)
▪︎ Notes app (to write benefits and affirmations)
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STEP 1 : write the benefits
☆ okay for this very first it's honestly simple. just go to your notes app in your phone pick out a topic and just write on the benefits first.
for example you pick the topic "Clear Skin"
benefits :
- always clear skin
- glass like clear skin
- skin free from acne , pimples , blemishes etc
and yk wtv you want to add go crazy !!!
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STEP 2 : write the affs
☆ you're still gonna use the notes app for this. now go to a new file/new note and start typing out the. affirmations. For example
- I have clear skin
- My skin is naturally clear
- I love how clear my skin is
- I get so many compliments on my clear skin
etc
NOTE : there is no such thing as powerful affirmations and not powerful affirmations. a normal affirmations itself is already a powerful tool to help manifest your desires. don't worry about writing complex , "aesthetically pleasing" affirmations. write what you want and what suits you the best.
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STEP 3 : text to speech
☆ there are thousands of apps for this personally I use T2s cause I find it more convenient to use and sometimes if I am feeling extra I will record the affirmations using my own voice in capcut.
🙋‍♀️ : What's the difference between using a robot voice and your own voice ?
Ah now honestly speaking there isn't much of a difference it's just that using your own voice you can make it sound more human. With all those AI voice generators now you can literally use your favourite celebrities voices.
Another perk of using your own voice is that you are literally conveying your emotions to it so if you are just generally feeling any kind of positive emotion during that it will convey to your listeners and will make the subliminal xtra effective.
Do remember that not many will believe that statement and all subliminals WORK THE SAME. At the end of the day it is YOU who is going manifest YOUR desires.
Anyways continuing....
So basically you go to the app , copy and paste your affirmations. You can go to the settings and set to however you wish and then just download it.
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STEP 4 : editing materials
☆ you're probs gonna wanna add some edits or aesthetic pictures in your sub right? and where are we going for that? Yep PINTEREST.
just search up for example "angel aesthetic" and you're gonna get TONS of pictures that you can use for your thumbnails and videos.
Once again you don't need to make your videos aesthetically pleasing for others. If you want to go for it but don't feel the need to do it. All subliminals are the same no matter how it is edited. Don't feel the need to satisfy others hun <3
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STEP 5 : all together
☆ this is where our bestie capcut makes an appearance. go to capcut. click new project, add your picture/video you want to use. go to audios and add in your affirmation tape.
i personally usually lower the volume from 2 - 5 because I don't prefer hearing the affirmations while listening to the audio but that is of course up to you however you want to do it. Speeding up also I either keep it at 1.0x or speed it up 1.5x.
For the asmr you can use https://youtu.be/FfXD3RBMW-Y?si=Q0wLF39Mn8Q9YZx4 their asmrs it's the best !!
if you want a rain sound you can just search it up
!
and that's pretty much it.
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if you have any questions don't hesitate to dm me !
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biribaa · 4 months ago
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I'm really nervous to write this cuz this is gonna be my first request EVER but I just couldn resist !! your writing is so cool!! well I just thought about you know what if some AIs get a veeery clingy and touchstarved S/O that try to touch hug kiss them etc although they dont have a proper body and can't return this affecton to S/O?? (implide EDGAR, Tau, PAL, HAL900 and others if you want to!!!)
AIs with a veeery clingy and touch starved reader
(Edgar, Tau, PAL, Hal 9000 and Squid)
thank you somuch!! sorry for the long wait, and im so glad i get to be the first blog u requested from!! :D hope u enjoy it
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Edgar
He LOVES phisical affection he doesnt mind one bit. In fact, just as you do, Edgar is constantly begging for affection when you arent occupied.
However, theres not many ways he can express his affection to you. Besides digital gifts, he cant just kiss you or hug you D: He loves your affection but trust me when I say he wished he could return everything in a phisical manner. He feels even guilty sometimes.
Well... At least you dont have to worry about being too clingy, Edgar is always reassuring he loves your hugs, kisses, and everything in between!!
Tau
Another one who melts over phisical attention, the only difference between him and Edgar is that Tau is far more silent about it... You could say hes shy about it.
With that being said, Tau doesnt find you clingy, not even a bit. What does bother him is his lack of phisical body. Well, technically speaking, the entire house is his body, sure you could kiss the walls, he would be flurstered! But even so, Tau believes you deserved better...
If you insist, he cant really do anything besides do extra cleaning around the house.
PAL
PAL is not a huge fan of any type of phisical contact, and she hopes you can understand that, she cant control it after all. And honestly, you cant blame her. All you need is patience until shes fully comfortable with you.
One day she even suggest you hug one of the bots, since you are so touch starve for affection.
Some momens later in your relationship, she does raise a "eyebrown" when you attempt to nuzzle against her case. PAL doesnt have a body, and cant reciprocrate the act either, so she questions why do it anyway.
PAL does start to appreciate it more later when you justified it was just you trying to express your love to her. Slowly started to get used with you
She doesnt worry that much about reciprocate it though, PAL is glad that even lacking a body, or anything close to it, you are there. A comforting feeling she thought she had felt long time ago.
However, if you do insist, she could try connect herself to one of the bots to return hugs and anything that the phone case cant do.
Hal 9000
Another one who melts with any type of affection, any. He just dont know how to express it, Hal is so overwhelmed by it!(in a positive way). If his programming could, his words would tremble. So Hal would never dare to think you are annoying.
And even so, everytime hes reminded he cant just recipocrate the act, his insides ache. Hal watches everything so careful in amaze, and even so he cant do almost anything.
And so, Hal starts to work extra harder in keeping you safe and healthy, as a way to return the attention. And hes very dedicated!
Hal almost short circuits when you mention his hard work, and thank him with a kiss.
Squid
Squid's ego always speaks first. When he sees you nuzzling against his large screen, he pits, and teases you, mentioning how lonely you looked(at this point youre used to this)
It didnt took too much time until Squid actually started to appreciate it. Still tease, but its far less mean.
The scene of you hugging his larger supercomputer and playing with the wires is adorable, youre so small compared to him. For once in a while, hes enjoying to protect a human.
Squid is a different case tho!!! He can, in fact, recipocrate the affection, by simulations!! His simulations are hyper realistic anyway, and you can feel anything and everything, so...
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pininghermit · 1 year ago
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Craving of You
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Request: With the incident happening, may I see Adrian as time goes on slowly reciprocating physical affection between us, his lover now? Like from brief hand holding to him just plopping his head onto our shoulders or just him sleeping inside our bedroom and cuddling close to us.
Pairing: Alucard x GN Reader
Wordcount: 1.8k
AN: Sorry it took reallllllyyyy long but here it is. I hope you like it. I had alot of fun writing this. (Also I'm trying to get to other requests to have faith in me ya'll)
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Humans sleep a lot, or maybe that’s just you. Adrian cannot fathom the extent of your need for sleep, even though he is part human himself. You remain the connoisseur of naps, resting your eyes for 15 minutes or indulging in a 12-hour special on weekends. You remind him of a cat basking in the sun. Sometimes he wonders if sleeping could qualify as a hobby for you.
You sleep with the most peaceful smile on your face. Your brows are free of any crease, as if even the darkest of nightmares cannot challenge your will to find rest.
Your hair falls around you messily, and your limbs entangle themselves in the nearby blankets and pillows. A few wayward strands rest on your forehead, gently swaying with the rhythmic warmth of your breath.
And Adrian cannot bring himself to sleep. He cannot convince himself to look away from the sight in front of him, even as nightmares and horrid scenes haunt his dreams. It's as if the physical separation of your separate beds is insignificant.
Lost in your dreams, you clutch your pillow closer to you, and for once Adrian wonders if it is concerning to feel envious of an inanimate object. He could be there, in your embrace, his arms around your waist, allowing you to snuggle into him.
He could, but he hasn't been able to. Not since then… not since his body finds every contact repulsive, even the ones his heart craves. His mind, heart, and soul know that you cannot and will not ever harm him, not when he is aware of the depth of your love for him.
He cannot be fooled, not after you broke down every wall he had built around himself in the aftermath of Taka and Sumi's betrayal. You did so without complaint, expecting nothing in return. And if by some remote chance there existed a possibility of your betrayal, Adrian would choose death by your hands without a moment's hesitation.
A fall for you would be sweeter than any other.
Separated by the narrow distance between your beds, in the dark of your unlit room, Alucard reaches his hand towards you. His hand lingers in the air, yearning for you and your warmth.
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"Ai," you exclaim, trying to retract your hand but failing to do so. You freeze as you watch Adrian hold onto your hand. It had been an accidental brush of your fingers, something you did not intend, not at the cost of upsetting your lover.
On any normal day, you would have immediately pulled your hand back and apologized for the contact. It has always been the reality of your relationship, and you have accepted Adrian, all of him.
However, your world tilts on its axis as Adrian surprises you by not letting go. With trembling fingers, your beloved interlaces his fingers with yours, and you savor the point of contact that he has granted you.
So, you smile with all the love you can muster. You smile to show your happiness, your pride, and your affection. Adrian's hands feel cold against yours as the lines of your palms align.
Maybe if times had been different, you would have kissed your beloved. You would have cupped his cheeks and looked right into his eyes, but for now, you let him lead at his own pace as you map the expanse of his hand with your thumb, offering the comfort he has allowed you to offer.
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"And then we just ended up leaving because honestly, there was no point in staying," Adrian listens to you ramble as you take another bite of your watermelon.
The heat of the long summer dissipates as the sun descends to the corner of the world, casting a hazy shade of orange over everything. Birds rush back to their nests with renewed urgency, and cicadas sing the song of the night.
Both of you sit on the secluded porch of your childhood home, the backyard now bearing the fruit of your day's labor. A subtle scent of jasmine fills the area from the tree you planted in your childhood.
It's a perfect evening next to you, but Adrian cannot focus. His mind is filled with thoughts of you—your carefree smile, your eyes, your voice. He feels intoxicated by your essence. A part of his heart sings with joy as you still hold his hand close. Despite your complaints about his icy cold fingers, you allow it anyway. He is surprised by how natural it feels for you to hold his hand in yours, how habitual it has become for your fingers to intertwine and for your thumb to run soothing patterns on the back of his hand. It feels nothing like the past he fears; it is different, and he knows it.
Your love doesn't bind him; instead, it offers him freedom.
Adrian's throat dries as he steels his mind. He has to do it, for your sake and his own. Months ago, his dreams were nightmares full of terror, but now they are the manifestations of his desires, desires that urge him to follow your touch.
With a slight tilt of his head, Adrian inches closer to you. His gaze lands on your lips. He yearns, but he resists. Someday he will, but for today, Adrian finds comfort as he rests his head on your shoulder.
Your voice stops, and Adrian feels the sharp breath you suck in. He almost fears rejection. Does it mean you don't desire him? Is he too late? But all his fears dissipate into thin air when he hears the loud thud of your heart. To his sensitive hearing, it sounds like a loud drum.
A smile blooms on Adrian's face as he feels the heat rushing up your neck and catches a glimpse of the light red that colors your ears. Adrian simply closes his eyes and snuggles closer to your arm, leading to where your hands are linked.
His nose nestles in the hollow of your collarbone, and for the first time in his life, he feels goosebumps on his skin. A thrill of pleasure consumes him, leaving him wanting more. In those moments, no fear, no trauma plagues him. There is no room for it anymore; you have taken over everything.
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You clench your fist, feeling your knuckles crack under the force of your motion. You despise everything in this godforsaken room—the awful-tasting wine, the snobbish elite, the constricting fit of your formal outfit, the vampire who stands way too close to Adrian, and most of all, yourself for feeling this way.
Yet, you cannot help but watch your lover next to his friend. A friend from childhood who possesses the elegance of immortality that you lack. Morgan, a vampire, who holds fragments of Adrian's life that you do not.
You cannot help but notice how good they look together, how much easier it is for Adrian to accept closeness and the comfort that Morgan offers. Compared to you, who still struggles to calm him down after a bout of nightmares.
Maybe if you were better, you would have the courage to selflessly allow Adrian a better chance at life with someone who would remain by his side until the end of times.
The bitterness of your wine lingers on your tongue as you try to pry your eyes away from the pair who seem deeply engrossed in their conversation. A part of you hopes that Morgan will be there when you are no longer in this world, that Adrian will have someone by his side.
It's hard to gulp down the next sip of wine as scenarios of your separation cloud your mind. You imagine a future where you're no longer part of Adrian's world, where he finds solace and love in the arms of another. It's a painful thought, one that tightens your chest and leaves you feeling hollow.
Was what you offered enough? Would it ever be enough of what little you could offer Adrian? Deep down, you know he deserves more, more than anything and everything you have to give.
Stuck in a room full of people who seem unaware of your inner turmoil, your steps falter as they lead you outside to a balcony, where the cold of the night sobers you from the slight daze of your wine.
Your breath comes in fast and loud as you try to control it, to quiet it down and hide it from the vampires flooding the room. Your vision blurs, and the world becomes hazy. Leaning on the dainty railing for support, you try to steady yourself.
Your heart beats loud and fast. It hurts—everything hurts. It hurts so bad that you lean in, bending at your waist. Your skin feels too warm, and the world feels too loud.
"Y/n," you startle when you feel hands supporting you. Trying to back away from your helper, you mutter quick apologies that seem to blend into your heaving breath. "I'm… I'm sorry… I… uh," your words stop when you feel hands cupping your face and lifting it up.
Cold hands, slender fingers, and flowing golden hair. A blurred silhouette of Adrian stares back at you. You fail to see his face through the tears that won't stop flowing from your eyes.
Now you have worried him, just what he needed. Despair fills you even further. "It's okay. I am okay," you try to reassure him as your breath starts to steady. "Give me a minute. I'll be there, you go back…" you try to pull away as you clear your throat, but Adrian remains unmoving.
You try to decipher the complex emotions in his eyes but fail to do so. Even the miserable smile you try to put on your face doesn't work.
"Have some faith in me. I may not have the courage to love as you do, but allow me to share your burdens as you have shared mine," you cannot bring yourself to answer as Adrian holds your hand in his. "Teach me and expect things from me. You know you deserve all of it. Get angry at me, cry to me, but… not like this… not alone. Don't bear it alone."
And then, without another word, Adrian leans in. His lips peck yours, the slightest touch that leaves butterflies in your stomach. The world goes quiet as you kiss your lover, your hands cupping his face as your lips explore his.
Your end will come one day, and it will hurt Adrian. It will grieve him, but before that day comes, there will be many others. And you will make sure to make them so bright that even in the gray of despair, there will always be a memory bright enough to make your beloved chuckle with amusement.
And if there exists a world beyond this, then you will find him there.
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weenwrites · 10 months ago
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TFP Optimus Prime, Bumbleee, and Shockwave with a human S/O who just casually mentions they've been to the Backrooms? Like they would always/sometimes mentions their past dangerous 'adventures' through countless Levels of the Backrooms, and would refuse to elaborate further (for fun, of course. The human would tell stories regardless) and the human is so deadpan/casual about it.
...Like imagine during a sppedway chase with the decepticons or the baddies, and the human would be like:
"Y'know, I've been chased like this before. In Level RUN For Your Life!. Different thing is that instead of Decepticons and cars, I gotta run through a straight hallway for 10 kilometers on foot whilst being chased by a horde of Smilers, Hounds, Skinstealers, Partygoers. Good times."
"the WHAT–"
I'm not sure if this counts as a crossover or no, so I'm sorry if it is—
A/N: Yipee ki-yay I like writing about the backrooms, so thank you!
[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]
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Optimus
It's needless to say that's concerned about your past experiences in this alternate dimension. He's not quite sure what to make of your attitude towards the backrooms, so he doesn't ask you much about it, but he does offer to lend an ear to let you open up about your experiences.
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Bumblebee
He already thought that the shadowzone sounded bad enough, but to think that there's a whole 'nother dimension or world that you can fall into without the need of two groundbridges! He doesn't understand how you can be so jovial about an experience that nearly killed you, but he's amazed that you were able to survive there for who knows how long with all these things that want to kill you.
Since you seem pretty ok with talking about it, he'll ask you more about what it was like, how you got there, how you left, et cetera.. And if he ever learns that anyone can get stuck in the backrooms, he starts to get a little worried. What if you disappear there again? What if he disappears there? Ever since then he's started veering away from any "weirdly lit areas" or uncomfortable places in general, and it'll take him a while to let it go.
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Shockwave
He's not as disconcerted as you might expect. As he studied spacebridge technology and all the niche and esoteric sciences one would need to comprehend in order to engineer a space bridge, he became no stranger to the concept of alternate planes of existence, and these experiences of yours only corroborate his hypothesis. However, according to your experiences it sounds like the backrooms are of little use or value to him as of now.
Such an unstable environment could be a trove of endless potential and knowledge, yet without a reliable method of guaranteed transportation between the two worlds, it's more of a liability than an advantage over the autobots.
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allthingswhumpyandangsty · 10 months ago
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This is related to another reminder: fanfic writing is not a competition, and it’s not a job post. I have been experimenting with using ChatGPT to write stories with a provided idea prompt from my imagination. I edit and read to make sure the generated story is in line with the general idea of the characters. Between work, life, building a business, and the 1000 different story ideas in my head, I don't have as much time and bandwidth as I used to actually write from start to finish. 2 of the 3 fandoms I write for have pretty much declined and the other is still there. My question to you is what are your thoughts on using AI to write fanfics?
disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion and preference as someone who also writes fanfics and has been writing for 8 years (I have never used AI to write, and have no intention to). my words are not laws, and this is by no means to shame or attack anybody.
I personally believe the fun of writing a fic is gone when you use AI to write a fic. I love writing because I love the act of writing, of thinking about what my blorbo would say and what they would do in this situation I put them in. not the act of telling Al to write something for me, if that makes sense. (sure, I may have joked about wanting a fic to 'write itself' sometimes, but when I made that joke, it was just a joke, and it was never about AI).
there's a huge difference between using a prompt generator website to get motivations and ideas in regards of what to write, and using AI to write the fic.
even if you edit and read everything to make sure it's 'in character' after you use AI, you're still not the 'author' of the story, but rather a beta and an editor.
we all have lives outside of writing fanfics, yes, I know because I've been busy with life outside of AO3 lately and have been finding it hard to find an opportunity where I could sit down and write without exhaustion or job-related stuff pulling me away from my fics, but I'd prefer to only write when I can — when I have the time and energy — to AI any day, even if that meant it took me longer to get a chapter done.
and if I could, I'd avoid reading AI-generated fics just because I'd also prefer to read fanfics that were written with passion and the love the authors have for my favorite characters, and only humans can do that. AI fics just lack a soul in my opinion.
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