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#didnt tell him until more than halfway his first year
twowink · 2 years
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are naruleo not that popular…. they won’t leave my brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
unfortunately but perhaps with your help today . ...
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beedlemania · 3 months
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In the episode when Davy’s grandfather comes to visit, Davy is referred to as a minor.  The guy who said this could have just been saying this because of Davy’s size and he looked young.  But imagine Davy being in America and living with the guys and also being required to go to high school because he’s under 18.
Poor Davy, I could see him getting picked on because of his height and maybe getting shoved into/against lockers.  At first, he’d act like he’s a really cool guy and likes school whenever the guys ask him but eventually, he would reach his breaking point.  He would slowly get less enthusiastic about school and stops talking about it to the guys.  Whenever Mike or one of the others asks how school was Davy will just say “fine” or say nothing exciting happened. 
One day he might even come home with bruises and a black eye and when asked, Davy just says he’s not good at sports and got hurt in gym. 
Then he might try to avoid school by saying he doesn’t feel well and even pulls a few tricks to make Mike believe he’s sick (like tamper with the thermometer so it reads higher than it really is or making himself get really hot so it feels like he has a temperature).  Mike knows Davy though and it doesn’t take long to catch on to his plan of faking sick.  At first Davy denies he’s faking but he eventually confesses to Mike and says he hates school and the other kids are mean to him and bully him and push him into lockers and make fun of him for his height and accent.  Of course, Mama Mike will not tolerate this and demands to know who all these kids are.  Davy says he doesn’t want to make things worse and begs Mike to not make him go to school.  Mike is angry but doesn’t want to make Davy more upset and instead just gives him cuddles and says they’ll figure something out.
They somehow work something out and Davy can do his work from home.
Yes!! They tried to get away with Davy not attending school since he technically didnt have the right paperwork to be in the country but through a series of events that probably involved Mr Babbitt and the rent, the cops showed up and enrolled poor Davy in high school. So not only was he picked on for his height and accent but he also joined the school halfway through the year and gets picked up in a bright red car with some weird ass guys some days.
Davy breezes by at first because he takes a lot of insults as good natured teasing/sarcasm. Until he makes a sarcastic remark back and gets beaten up and then he cops on to the fact he was getting made fun of the entire time. He sees the inside of a lot of lockers and toilet bowls after that but manages to keep it all from the guys for a good few months. When asked about his day he’ll either make stuff up or just give one worded answers because he has too much pride to admit he can’t hold his own against these guys.
Davy never ever has his homework done due to the Monkees get into so many shenanigans and general lack of interest, so the teachers start picking on him too. He had to take history since he had to take whatever classes were left and so he’s very lost because England and American history is different so he only knows the bare basics of american history. Because of this he’s failing history which he also refuses to admit to the guys.
On a similar note, Davy’s close to failing all his classes because he didnt realise American grades are continuous assessment and not an end of year exam so he put in no effort. He’s failing everything but wont tell anyone but is also panicking about having to do the year all over again. Hes so worked up emotionally and paired with the physical bullying he just breaks down completely one day. He walks though the door, Micky asks him how school was, and Davy just falls to his knees sobbing.
When the guys eventually get told about how much Davy’s struggling, Mike goes into the school himself and the staff have no idea what to do with the random 21 year old Texan guy that’s ranting and raving about some English kid. They dont know how to deal with him so they just accept what he has to say and they work something out for Davy.
Peters not the brightest in most situations but he was actually very clever in school and he’s a very patient teacher so Davy finally works up the courage to ask for help and Peter starts tutoring him. Davy just makes it by and graduates high school with the help of his friends :3
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crqelsummer · 2 years
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I want to hear more about Yuelle/Lightthief
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i want to clarify before i even start that these two are both idiots.
edit: ok wtf is this formatting tumblr
elle is the most oblivious girl ever -- she didnt pick up on the fact that yuto was actually interested in her until halfway through their second term of first year.
yuto, is also the most indirect guy ever. his love language is quality time, so inviting elle to hang out with him was meant to be romantic! he even brought her snacks and helped her with her homework. elle didn't know this, she just thought he was being nice (her love language is acts of service)
(she calls him 'sweet!' all the time and yuto is DYING)
their friends figured it out a long time ago (moriko and rin have a betting pool going for the class, seiji and daisuke are winning)
he confessed to her on valentine's day with chocolate and she was a bit bewildered. and then gave him some french chocolate she had from winter break on white day. yuto has never heard of this brand. he is cherishing it nonetheless.
however! they do work together really well! yuto's learning to use the binding cloth well enough to save her if she ever gets caught, and her effective flashbangs keep people off of them pretty well. her blinding means he can usually steal people's quirks pretty easily because they're more likely to answer him.
theyre really good friends!! they started out as friends on both sides, yuto just fell head over heels after he saw elle do what she did best and elle pretty soon after their finals before summer break. still, they joke together and annoy one another just as much as anyone else
they hang into in the bottom five of the class for most of the year just because neither of them are super strong students. they gotta fight for it and adapt as necessary. in the academic rankings though, they compete there too. yuto's a little ahead bc he's like. native japanese speaker v. elle only started learning three or four years ago to attend UA in high school.
yuto is a pretty stoic guy, it takes a lot to shake him. elle is not, she is the most emotional person just about ever. they clash sometimes because elle will get really emotionally invested in something and forget to really think. yuto will occasionally only ever look at a situation through logic and forget about how his interactions are affecting other people.
elle is a really touchy feely girl too. once she and yuto start dating shes always got a pinky wrapped around his, bumps into him on purpose, rests her head on his shoulder, etc etc. yuto is only a bit taller than she is (5'5" to his 5'7") but she can and will try and climb him. like full, limbs wrapped around him like a spider monkey kind of climb lmao. yuto finds this odd at first but kinda just lets her at it. he prefers to just be around her, but this works too.
neito finds out bc aiko mentions it offhandedly to him, who then tells hitoshi who then brings it up during dinner. yuto is losing it.
yuga is actually pleasantly surprised that elle found someone she cares for dearly. monica thinks hes cute, to her chagrin.
theres a box of french cheese in the mail within the week
BONUS:
If Elle ever got into trouble Yuto is NOT responsible for how he responds to whoever knocked his girlfriend out. He almost choked a villain out once and will do it again.
Elle's hands can get hot enough to burn with her Light Quirk, and if anyone ever hurt Yuto she's using that to her advantage because goddammit you do not lay a HAND on him.
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"You're All Wet"
Sam "Ace" Rothstein x Reader
Um, I made the decision to call him Ace in this fic, not entirely sure why! Reader and Ace knew each other before he went to Las Vegas and Reader stops in to visit, enjoy!!!
TW: implied smut, cheating, mentions of gang activity
Word Count: 1.7k
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Just like any other night at The Tangiers, Ace Rothstein stalks the casino floor, like a predator waiting to pounce at the sight of a cheater in his beloved establishment. As his eyes scan the crowd, carefully watching everyone's body language for anything odd, there's a hitch when he swears he sees someone familiar. His eyes quickly double back and they land on you. In that moment, he feels like he's travelled back to the past and in another world simultaneously.
"(Y/N)?" he blinks in disbelief, "(Y/N), is that you?" He hasn't seen you in years! That face is all too familiar to him, but that body? Well... Let's just say you've grown up a bit.
"I gotta say, you're not looking so sharp right now, Ace, not with that dumbfounded look on your face," you giggle, holding your arms out for a hug, "You look like you've seen a ghost or something!"
He holds you tightly to him, nuzzling into the crook of your neck for a moment before pulling back and getting a better look at your face, "God... I feel like I have! Fuck, where are my manners, how have you been, darlin'?"
As you catch up, wandering away from the pits to somewhere more private, Ace finds his mind wandering back to old times in the Midwest, to when he knew you best. You're Remo Gaggi's only niece; you grew up with nothing but guys around you, guys who are all involved in the family business, so it only made sense that you were so interested in it too. But it was different with you, Gaggi wanted you to wait until you were an adult before getting into anything, so by the time you were allowed to know anything, you took it seriously because you knew you had something to prove being the only girl in the business.
Ace always admired how you came out swinging the minute you turned 18, ready to prove all your cousins and uncles wrong about you. But he really didn't get to see too much of it, before him and Nicky got sent to Las Vegas.
He even remembers their going away party, everyone getting together one last time before moving to the desert to make the bosses more cash than they could dream of. He remembers how you started to tear-up telling him goodbye, but you had a lot of pride and didn't want any of the guys to see you cry. However, you did cry when you finally got a moment alone with him, and Ace wiped your tears, promising you'd see each other again. And now, here you are in, halfway across the country, making sure that promise is kept.
"Where are ya stayin' tonight, doll?"
"Oh, just at some plaza hotel or something," you shrug.
"By yourself?" Sam inquires.
"Yeah, I'm grown now, ya know!"
"Oh no, no, that won't do. A girl like you shouldn't stay by herself in a city like this," he takes your hand across the table your both seated at, "Come stay with me."
"Ace, I don't wanna be a burden..."
"You're not a burden. I'm so happy to see you, it'd be an honor to have you in my home." His grip on your hand tightens reassuringly.
"You sure your wife will be okay with it?" It was the only defense you have left.
"My wife, eh?" He looks left then right slyly, "You know who pays for the place, right? I'll have a guest over if I like."
• • •
The next few days felt like old times but in a whole new place, a much richer and more luxurious place. Your first morning at Sam's house, you woke up early from jet lag, so you took the liberty of making breakfast for everyone. To which you were met with a "You didnt have to do that," when Ace caught you, but it was followed up by him hugging you from behind and laying his head on you, practically sleeping while standing up.
Of course, you hung out with Nicky too! They showed you all around their new stomping grounds out west. However, you can tell that Ace is making an effort to get alone time with you; you'd always had a special bond back home. Hell, you cried over the man when he left! You'd be lying if you said you didn't miss that closeness.
One night, as you're having a relaxing bubble bath in Ace's luxurious guest bathroom, you ponder on how much longer you should stay in Vegas. You bought a one way ticket because you weren't sure how things would go and you didn't want to be stuck here if things got hairy, but now... You feel like you want to stay for a while, but you don't want to take advantage of your friend's kindness either.
Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the doorknob wiggling before Ace lets himself in. "What? So you just walk in on girls in the bathroom now? I guess with all these Vegas dancers throwin' themselves at you, you must think you're hot shit or something."
"Oh, hush," he cracks a smile, strolling across the tiled floor before sitting down on the toilet lid.
As he sits back and looks you over, your head and bare shoulders being the only thing exposed, you taunt, "Like the view?"
He lightly snorts and shakes his head at you, "You look good, but I just wanted to spend some time with you before the wife gets home. God knows when that'll be." He rolls his eyes at the thought of his wife.
"You don't think it'll look suspicious, uh, hanging out with me while I'm in the bath?"
His eyes wander as if he's deep in thought, then he shrugs and returns his attention to you. "What did you do today?"
"Nothing too crazy. You and Nicky have had me so busy that I just went out for a mani-pedi," you relax back against the wall of the tub.
"Ooh, let me see," he says, leaning forward towards you. You slide a hand and a foot out from under the mountain of bubbles and hook them on the edge of the tub.
He inspects them before taking his hand in yours and holding it closer to him, "Very pretty, I like the color," he says quietly, then he presses a soft kiss to your knuckles.
"Thank you," you giggle at him.
He returns your chuckle and places a few more kisses to the back of your hand and wrist.
"Ace, what are you doing?!" You squeal!
He simply let's out a hum and continues kissing up your arm, his kisses slowly turning from funny to passionate as he passes your elbow. Ace scoots away from his seat on the toilet and kneels beside your bath, lips never leaving your arm.
You feel that fire creeping up in your belly as he rounds your shoulder, lips and tongue working the soft skin of your clavicle. Your other hand rises up out of the bath water, and you cup the back of the man's head.
Feeling a bit of hesitation, Ace slowly moves his lips towards your neck, receiving a small but pleased exhale from you. As your eyes flutter closed, you tilt your head back, giving him access to your sensitive skin. He suckles and nibbles there for what feels like eternity but also only a second, eliciting a series of breathy moans from your lips.
After placing a few kisses to the spot, he pulls away from you slightly, just enough to see your face. You stare at each other in a haze, familiar eyes locked onto yours, and his better judgement leaves him as he graces his lips across yours. Your lips dance with one another's, eyelashes brushing the other's face, in such a soft gentle moment, before he claims your mouth with his. Your emotions are on high from the passionate kiss, until you remember this isn't old times and this man before you is no longer yours to take.
Your lips part from his, "Sam..." It's just above a whisper.
The use of his first name makes the severity of the situation hang in the air like wind chimes waiting for a breeze, the sound of silence deafening to your ear drums. You'd only ever called him that once before, also in a serious moment: a moment when your confession of your feelings for him hung on the tip of your tongue, but you didn't want him to carry that weight to Vegas with him.
His eyes glance over your visage, that beautiful face filled with worry. You should never feel anything but happiness, Ace thinks to himself. The rough pad of his thumb gently strokes your cheek, while the rest of his fingers nestle just behind your ear. Your eyes are cast down, trying not to look at him, so you don't see it coming when he leans forward and kisses you again.
Your lips move together once again, and your hands find his shoulders, gripping onto him as if he might slip away. You sit up on your knees in the bathtub, and immediately Ace's arms are around your waist, pulling your soaking wet body close to his. His hands tangle in your damp locks, and he fumbles around before throwing a leg over the wall of the bath tub and sliding into the water with you. He settles down onto his knees and pulls you across his lap, never breaking your kiss.
Your fingertips comb through his hair, as your making out slows to a halt. Gently cupping his cheek, you take a look at him, "You're all wet," you state quietly.
Slowly, this elicits laughter from both of you. You both stay like that for a moment before he takes you in his arms and lifts you from your bath, carefully stepping out and leaving a hefty trail of water leading right to the guest bedroom where you've been staying.
That night as he makes love to you with his clothes piled in a wet heap on the floor all around the bed, the only thing on his mind is you. He's waited what feels like a lifetime to have you, so nothing would keep him from you, not even the sound of his wife coming home somewhere between rounds 3 and 4.
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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White Carnation
Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader
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a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing
huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista
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anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi
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ong this finna be painful
so
its always been the three of you
with living across the oikawas came great perks
even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime
hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug
iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’
yep thats really how it went
and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(
while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside
you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun
iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets
they liked you because you were like them
you were like one of the bois
but that kinda hurt you in the future
as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things
like you started to have crushes
specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime
thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister
but unfortunately, iwa did too
every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you
‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’
was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats
tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt
‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’
no, they werent old
they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented
but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute
your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him
your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you
‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’
god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead
why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?
‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’
oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you
‘she looks the same’
he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips
‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’
oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room
he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain
‘what the-’
‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’
he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side
‘OI KUSOKA-’
‘so whos winning?’
your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees
your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago
there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen
‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’
he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look
‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’
thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down
‘haji-kun, im fine’
you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off
now iwa was confused
you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over 
not frown and act so coldly
‘oi, y/n, what-’
‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’
oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise
he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions
‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’
omg oikawa is a real one 🥺
oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded
‘uh-eung! yea!’
that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing
except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him
ofc iwa was a loyal friend
he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything
tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!
it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other
maybe thats why,,,
he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between
maybe thats why,,,
he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him
maybe thats why,,,
he was no longer your friend 
iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall
it happened around the 2nd year of middle school
you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant
basically strangers
the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough
he was no longer him
before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa
like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru
you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns
you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped
because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was
he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl
even if that girl,,,
was you
thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen
your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this
you think he didnt know?
you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?
you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?
and oikawa was also worried
he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much
he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you
but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(
he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts
one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away 
no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand
‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’
god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence
you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way
anyways
you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen 
but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you
your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food
iwa wasnt surprised
he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house
it all makes sense
BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS
MAKE IT MAKE SENSE
‘h-how are you’
he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit
you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary
‘oh, now you see me?’
you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said
he winced
‘listen, im-’
‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’
oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows
you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing
‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’
you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie
‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’
i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time 
he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him
‘kay kay’
you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go
you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body
all while iwa was watching
maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost  a year
so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine
but yea he definitely forgot your smile
he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that
god he hated it
but no, he was doing this for tooru
he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him
but dear god why did it hurt
iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice
he could easily handle you two dating
right?
maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you
the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you
you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair
no that wasnt you
you were different
you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants
you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too
you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability
god you were so different
what if you liked him instead?
iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice
tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy
iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation
you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room
oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa
‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’
he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you
but you did and lordie did you hate it
from then on,,,
iwa was just seeing you everywhere
iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside 
he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes
those moments made him laugh
the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice
oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him
you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that
YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER
so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name
his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door
‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’
he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you
‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’
you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout
iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle
if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him
he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach
but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries
oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime
your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors
unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone
‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’
after that 
iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him
bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?
literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?
what kinda unfairness-
but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore
that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class
thats totally not creepy iwa lol
he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions
but the worst was when he got caught
you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back 
it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together
iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with
can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks
oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around
poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?
like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features
how was that possible?
‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’
he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes
‘hm?’
‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’
oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement
but makki chuckled and leaned in
‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′
okay iwa was angry
was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?
was it because you were part of this list?
was it because his own friend said you were pretty?
why did he even care anyways?!
oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more
‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’
the meme duo shared a confused look
‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’
oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two
so he did an oikawa move
‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’
okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch
iwa shook
you,,, had a what on who?!
a crush on him?!
is he the brute?!
so it wasnt oikawa?
it was to him?
then why did you act like that?
why did you both act like that?
‘what’
iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze
‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’
iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair
your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately
‘what the hell do you want’
you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back
‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’
his meek voice made you look up in confusion
‘what are you talking-’
‘you chose me instead him’
then it was like a click that you realized what he said
‘how did you know’
‘i-i’
he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat
the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks
OH GOD HE TOLD HIM
after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy 
‘how could you?! why did you tell-’
‘lets talk, y/n? please?’
iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away
oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,
‘get your girl’
the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now
no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side
‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’
you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes
‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’
he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff
‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’
‘hey y/n lets date’
you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped
‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’
you shrieked
‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’
iwa did the only thing he thought of
he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips
he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way
and it worked
bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy
you was the whole range of emotions in one second
‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’
iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again
tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl
‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’
you seethed when you pulled away
but iwa held your hands
‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’
and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him 
but iwa also
during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked
‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’
you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt
he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere
‘please accept me, y/n!’
he shouted while holding out the single white carnation
your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly
‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’
you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process
you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’
of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both
like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future
‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’
you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars
‘gojira’
he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest
‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’
iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them
‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’
you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport
‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’
you pouted
iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head
‘oi, y/n’
he started and you looked at him
‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’
you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile
‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’
iwa’s face contorted to disgust
‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’
‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’
your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING
like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up
you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands
like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast
‘ew, its the settling down for me’
‘its the flatness of the ass for me’
you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml
you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year
as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position
like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’
you smiled and blinked confusingly
‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’
he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows
‘baka, stop calling me that’
you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest
‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’
you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk
‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’
you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him
iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing
‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’
‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’
‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’
‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’
sure enough you were at the gym after school
the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job
ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants
the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-
‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’
you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well
the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building
‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’
‘shes so pretty’
‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’
yea you get the gist
the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him
‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’
you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately
‘why else do you think i offered it brat’
oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out
‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’
but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic
you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way
in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??
like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come
one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together
he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking
and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring
he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine
but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused
like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out
‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’
you blinked and shook your head
‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’
more important things?!
more important than showering you with love?
more important than even spending a second with him?
now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend
he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities
but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist
and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend
you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent
you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down
‘haji? whats wrong?’
his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry
‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’
you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside
‘hajime, what are you on about?’
you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended
‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’
his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up 
‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’
but he scoffed
‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’
youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa
okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that
and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river
except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million
and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose
when iwaizumi hajime was angry,  you really done it
you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you
‘h-hajime,,,’
you started and he looked at you expectantly
‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’
there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious
‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’
‘but what about me, y/n?’
he tiredly asked
‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’
despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate
so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you
‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’
you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there
‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’
you slightly let go and cupped his face
‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’
you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer
‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’
SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭
tbh that was really your only big fight
even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other
HOWEVER
when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision
you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh
which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision
in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao
tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved
BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS
you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field
that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier
and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club
so that meant,,,
no time for iwa
and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you
even weekends were like that
eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls
and that strained your former strong relationship
and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses
‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’
‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’
like that type of bull
you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone
your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream
‘hey? y/n? you okay?’
she gently asked and you blinked before nodding
‘mhm. just,,, thinking’
but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering
‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’
kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend
at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible
the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls
now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler
so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females
so that didnt really bother you 
but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered
just,,, blank
not even pushing away or feeding into their actions
just,,, standing there
‘haji?’
you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you
‘y/n’
he breathed out and you smiled gently
iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately
the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly
‘how-how are you?’
you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you
‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’
you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive
‘haji,, please understand’
you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him
iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks
‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’
he snipped and you sniffed
‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’
‘dont you think i know that?!’
he cut you off harshly
your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands
‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’
iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw
‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’
‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’
‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’
‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’
‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’
you shrieked
‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’
he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell
your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms
‘ha-hajime,, don-’
‘should we break up?’
was he asking you this right now? 
seriously?
‘what?’
you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes
‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’
he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events
‘t-tuesday?’
that seemed to snap his patience 
with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands
‘damn it, y/n’
he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries
then it clicked
anniversary
it was your 2nd anniversary
and you completely missed it
completely forgotten
you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries
‘ha-haji-’
you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up
‘y/n lets break up’
iwa requested with a cracked smile
your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear
‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’
‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’
your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it
it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it
‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’
‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’
you hiccuped and continued to sob
but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him
‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’
he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms
-------
iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you
even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over
like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other
the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school
it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air
it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying
you continued like that for years until you reached your third year
you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager
the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio
‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’
you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry
he looked up and recognized you as his former manager
‘l/n-senpai!’
he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug
‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’
you teased and ruffled his hair
‘uh-you know him, y/n?’
suga asked and you nodded
‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’
‘she was friends with iwa-’
ope
something flashed in your eyes 
kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years
‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’
she sang out and you perked up
‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’
you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape
kageyama shrugged and continued on training
he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you
and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there
‘its fine, y/n, i got you’
but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high
ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go
you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other
you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare
you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you
‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’
noya growled
‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’
ofc hinata echoed
the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away
‘oi! dont do that, boke!’
kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head
hinata whined and glared at him
‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’
‘boke-’
‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’
you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice
‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’
tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock
the famous seijoh ace dated you?!
this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!
‘yall didnt know that?’
kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him
‘how do you know’
‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’
he simply replied and continued filing his nails
you looked up and smiled
‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’
‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’
‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’
the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair
‘then go out there and make me proud’
but we know how this goes
they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata
‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’
you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly
once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home
you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it
a single white carnation
and a small ripped piece of paper that said,
‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’
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a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(
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Text
Sick - Tanaka x reader
Warnings: none
Words: 2282 
Summary: You and your neighbor walk your dogs at the same everyday, but what happens when he stops showing up 
A/n :! I am so so so so sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth, college is hard man and then it’s partially online and COVID and things and the depression really hit and I have started a new self care book and it is adding one thing back in my life at a time that I am passionate about and last week was French and this week it is writing because I really do miss it! I threw this together last night based off of a request I got forever ago and I hope it is liked <3 
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You’ve lived in the same apartment for years and people always come and go, in and out, it feels like you see a new face everyday. In your three years there, you’ve only had one consistent fact, and that’s your bald neighbor who goes on walks with his dogs at the same time as you twice a day. At first you only saw him occasionally and now the two of you go out at 7:30 am and 6:30 pm on the dot. You have no idea how it started but now you get kinda excited to run into your neighbor on the stairs everyday and hopefully make a comment about how good his two big dogs are looking or even jsut the smallest acknowledgement with him.
   Speaking of your neighbor, he wasn’t out this morning before work, and you didn’t think too much of it because he works kinda funny hours and some random days misses the times. (Though he always tells you about it in the afternoon or the next time you see him) and because you’ve learned he’s a personal trainer he has finicky clients and sometimes is up wayy too early or way too late. It bugged you all day that you hadn’t seen him and no matter how hard you tried to focus at work you couldn’t imagine why he wasn’t out on a Wednesday. All of your explainations could make sense but you really don’t feel right about any of it. And when you got home and took your two babies out and he wasn’t there you were sure something was up. Tanaka loved his dogs more than anything and says that their routine keeps them together and that it keeps them well behaved. Something had to be wrong. Maybe he got a new girlfriend? Or he forgot? But he didn't forget and he hasn’t been with anyone ever, and if he was his dogs would still come first. You had no idea what you were thinking but when you came back up the stairs you kept walking and knocked on the door of the man you knew so completely and not at all. You quickly realized what you’d done and your heart was racing as you silent prayed that no one was home and that you could creep back to your door before anyone heard you.
   This was a great thought, except you forgot what happens when you knock with dogs. They bark. And unfortunately for you Tanaka doesn’t get a lot of guests so his dogs barked a lot. Like they could wake the entire neighborhood a lot. You had to grin and bear it and face the consequences of your irrational actions.
   After thirty or so seconds the door creeps open and there he is, Takana Ryuunosuke, in his pajamas and a beanie opening the door. He looked like a walking corpse and by the way he sniffed out a weak “hello” as he opened the door told you everything you needed to know. He was sick. Very sick, and you had just knocked at the door and now have to figure out what to say to him.
   “Oh, hey,” you stutter, “I was just checking on you to see if everything was alright, you weren’t out with your dogs and I was wondering if anything was up, or if you needed me to take them out for you because of their routine and everything,” you ramble on, hoping that somewhere your logic connected and this made sense.
   Takana stared at you blankly and you couldn’t help but mentally smack yourself because that was exactly what a stalker would say and you now seemed like his stalker.
   After a few more seconds of blank stares his expression caught up to your words and he broke out the goofy smile you love so much.
   “My dogs? Walk them?” He asked. Maybe they hadn’t caught up after all.
   “Well yeah, they weren’t out at their regular time and i wanted to make sure they were still going out and I have my two out and they are so well behaved and you clearly don’t feel well so it would really be no problem,” you rambled on again.
This time he was closely listening and nodded along with you before smiling once again. “No no no,” he chuckled, “ I can take them out” though he was laughing you could hear that he wasn’t feeling well and his energy was lower than you had ever heard.
   “Let me do this one favor for you, I can take them out, no big deal, okay?” You smiled.
   After you smiled it was a done deal for Tanaka, he grabbed the leash and thanked you about a hundred times. His dogs are fantastic and took you less than five minutes to walk before they’d used the restroom and were ready to go back inside. You took them back and he thanked you once again and you headed back to your apartment to make some dinner.
   You settled on a sun dried tomato soup with grilled cheese and happened *wink* accidentally *wink* make more than you could eat on your own and you’d hate for it to go to waste and you do have a neighbor who is sick and could probably use a hot meal right about now. So, you packed up a container for him and wrapped the sandwich in aluminum foil so that it would be hot for him and put some tea in a thermos and headed out your door once more. This time though, you were a little less bold and just rang the doorbell and ran back to your room. You did however, leave a little note saying “hope you feel better soon - room 420” on it and you hoped that it would at least help his night a little bit.
   Little do you know, Tanaka was so shocked to see this from you that he almost dropped the hot soup onto himself in a panic because this not only meant you paid attention to him but you cared for him. This was the best thing to ever happen to him. He finished every last bite and washed the container and thermos and placed them back by your door with a note of his own.
   When you got up the next morning and went to take your dog out you couldn’t help but beam when you saw your tupperware back in front of your door. You picked up the two items before seeing the little note on top of the container.
‘Best Soup Ever! -Room 419’
You beamed and did a little happy dance before deciding to go knock and see if he needed your help with his dogs again today, and boy are you lucky that you went. WHen he opened the door he somehow looked worse than yesterday, you could have swore that he had snot dried to his face and he was a total mouth breather and the bags under his eyes as well as tripled overnight. There were no arguments when you asked if he needed help with his dogs, because truthfully he really did.
   The walk was quick and the morning was over before you knew it. Another distracted day at work, you found yourself wondering how you could help him feel better, especially because he lived all alone and his closest family was something like an hour away last he told you.
You had a brilliant idea and decided to go to the store after work and make him a ‘get well’ basket. You filled the basket with cough drops, tissues, teas, chocolates and other little goodies that help him feel better and put him in a better mood. You got the groceries and were right on your way, practically skipping with excitement.
   Once again, you accidentally made an extra soup after you’d taken care of the dogs and happened to leave it with the basket later that evening.
   In the morning however, none of your dishes were by your door, which was no big deal, especially because he was feeling so under the weather, but what was even more strange is that he didn’t answer the door and the last thing you wanted to do was wake him up. So, you headed to work wondering if he liked what you did for him or if you’d crossed a line or if he was allergic to chicken noodle, or if he was too much of a health nut and you’d offended him, or if he’d… you had no idea, maybe died. This was not good for you and you could feel the stress starting to get to you when you got off work the sprint back home was exhausting and anxious. You rounded the corner of the stairs when you saw
Nothing.
You saw nothing.
That was fine, everything is fine. You are fine. Life is fine. If he doesn’t feel good you can’t expect him to do dishes or even leave his room. That’s best for everyone, no one wants a walking germ contaminating everything around, there were probably old ladies on this floor, you hadn’t seen any, but they were there, probably, so he was just doing the world a favor.
Again, he didnt answer the door for his dogs and you couldn’t force your kindness onto him so you had a night to yourself and went to bed way earlier than usual. You couldn’t help but wake up earlier than usual and instead of looking for things that weren’t there you got out and went to work early and got busy right away. You had a full day and worked until almost 8pm, hurrying back to hopefully get home before your local take away had closed. You made it, but just barely, and got your favorite meal to bring home with you to watch something horrible with.
   You got home and plopped on the couch completely exhausted. Immediatley you started eating and got about halfway through when you heard a knock at the door. Oh shit. You had no one in your life that would ever knock, well almost no one. THere was one person you were really hoping wasn’t on the other side of the door. You were in a t-shirt you got 10 years ago and a pair of crappy shorts from the general store, there was nothing remotely nice, or even tame about your appearance, you looked to be frank, crazy.
You creeped the door open and saw exactly who you were hoping not to see, Tanaka Ryuunosuke standing in front of your door beaming.
   “Hey?” You question nervously.
   “Hey, I noticed that you didn’t take your dogs out earlier and was wondering if you needed me to take them out for you?” He questioned genuinely, smiling from head to toe, clearly feeling better.
   You had no idea what to say or do but he just smiled as your dogs trotted out the door with him, without you saying a word. You awkwardly closed the door and stood there in shock. That was horrible. An embarrassment to you, an embarrassment to your family name and even worse an embarrassment to society. The shock still hadn’t worn off when you heard a second knock at your door, and well that was the man with your dogs and you couldn’t just leave them outside.
   This time when you opened the door you couldn’t help but gasp. Tanaka has a giant bouquet of red roses and a giant blush on his face.
   “Y/n, I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I have had a crush on you since I first met you, and I never knew how to tell you, every time I got close to you I just freeze and I started taking my dogs out when you do to try and get to know you and I could never make myself do it but you have been unbelievably kind to me and I can’t wait any longer. I want nothing more than to have a chance with someone as stunning as you are. Y/n, will you go on a date with me?”
   This time it was you standing there dumbstruck for longer than you should have. You heard every single one of his words and your heart was fluttering out of your chest. You’d had feelings for him for as long as you can remember and here he was with a bouquet of flowers standing in your doorway asking you to go on a date with him. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything so you just grinned and nodded at him enthusiastically, hoping he understood just how much this means to you.
   He beamed right back and handed you the bouquet of flowers, “perfect, then I’ll see you Friday at 7, I’ll pick you up.” He winked.
You were still dumbstruck and nodded again, and right as you were about to close the door for the night he stuck his foot in the doorway.
“One more thing y/n,” he pushed the door back open and had a basket of little goodies for you, as well as a homemade meal in the containers you’d given him with a little note that says ‘your soup warmed my soul, and my heart’. You couldn’t help but absolutely beam with happiness. You set the basket down and threw your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a big hug, repeatedly thanking him for his kindness. You two parted ways happier than you could have imagined and both in great anticipation for Friday.
   The next morning, you were both out at 7:30 on the dot, excited to see one another.
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aelaer · 3 years
Note
Hi friend! You seem vast in your knowledge of Stephen and willing to share so please enlighten me as I don’t read the comics but I do watch the mcu movies, and do love Stephen.
I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.
IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.
The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.
Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off
Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?
Regardless, thank you for your time if you see this xx
Oh yeah, Stephen's my favorite subject at the moment so I'm happy to give my thoughts!
Note that my answers apply to MCU!Stephen and what we've seen in the four films he's been in.
I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.
In my experience of just living, there are personality quirks that can be tempered out and made better, but not entirely eliminated, even if it's undesirable. In my opinion, Stephen's need to push himself and prove that he can Do A Thing is a trait that won't ever go away--especially as that trait has helped him more than hindered him. Examples would include the more mundane such as getting through a combined MD/PhD program and inventing surgical procedures at what is still a really young age for a neurosurgeon. We don't have a canonical age for Stephen, but Benedict was 40 when Doctor Strange was filmed and released; even if he's canonically in his mid-40s, that's still very young for him to be at his caliber after the necessary years of med school and residency in the United States. He's young and nowhere near the end of his career when he gets in the car crash. So with that information in mind, we know that he's very ambitious and throws himself into doing difficult work with gusto. That doesn't even go into everything he did as a sorcerer.
Why get into all of this? Because while we, the viewer who has seen the multiverse open at... some point (possibly, in a rewritten timeline, it's always been open now with what happened in Loki!), we have seen just how nuts it gets. We have seen the consequences. Stephen's smart, but I don't think it's a matter of strictly recklessness and more a combination of ignorance on this specific subject (erasing memories across the world or slightly rewriting time-- we don't know how he's doing it, but a memory spell makes more sense to me), hubris (of course), and the real desire to help Peter out. The latter two traits combined in intelligent people have proven bad in both fiction and reality.
The reason I don't think it's pure impulsiveness is because in the trailer, we see Stephen doing some meditation type thing in the underground area before the spell. He's also always doing research and as he tells Peter he'll help him, he clearly knows of a spell already and has some working knowledge of how it works. The conversation with Wong wouldn't have happened otherwise. But I personally get the vibe off him that he'd not do it without being very confident that he can do it -- and his history in the films has shown 0 failures in any of his spells once he's past novice-level, so in that aspect, his confidence makes sense. If he *should* do the spell due to the risks of failure, and lack of practicing precaution in the face of his confidence, is where his flaws lie, IMO. And in that sense people could say he was reckless for deciding to perform a complicated, dangerous spell, but that follows his M.O. completely -- he performed a very complicated, dangerous spell consistently with the Time Stone again and again, from how the sorcerers spoke about the Infinity Stone (and he casually just... throws himself into a time loop, then to look through time. He takes calculated risks, but they are very much risks).
One last thought on this statement - the biggest, biggest lesson that Stephen learned in his first film was that it was not about him. There was more to the world than his glory and his brilliance and even his happiness. He started doing things for the greater good rather than himself. And he started doing things for others -- fighting for the Sanctum in his own film, and protecting the Earth. Serving something greater than himself. But that doesn't make him suddenly humble, and it doesn't suddenly take away his strange (hah) sense of humor.
IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.
He was more serious in that film. So was Tony. They still had some quips and arguments, but they were very serious. And it makes sense as to why -- it was the end of the world. So the mood of the setting would change anyone's demeanour. But he had very little chance to unwind in that film, considering that he was trying to protect one of six items that would destroy the universe, and also got freaking tortured in the middle of the film with little time to recover. But nearly every Avenger was super serious in that film, and for good reason.
It's a completely different setting from what is now Stephen's life which, from what little we've seen in the trailer, is weird enough that he got a magical snowstorm in the Sanctum. It's safe enough that Wong's off on vacation. It's been nearly a year since he returned from the dead. He's either figured out how to move on in the last year or, as some prefer, has gotten good enough to put on a facade and bury the trauma so far down that he's putting on a normal act - but that's up to debate until MoM. And we have no idea if old traumas are going to be brought up there or if it's just the new things.
I think the point is that it's possible to be both a responsible person and also to make colossal mistakes due to either emotional connections or hubris (or both - we don't know which way the film will go, if they'll explain it at all). They're not mutually exclusive. He can be protecting reality fantastically, while also believing that he's skilled enough to pull off the ability to pull off a dangerous spell which he did in his own film and in IW. He's guided the timeline down a specific path in IW/Endgame, after all - what's a little identity item compared to the fate of the universe, after all? Removing the Spider-Man/Peter association is, in comparison, child's play I imagine to a man like Stephen.
The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.
Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off
He was definitely silly in his own film. He was constantly trying to get Wong to laugh and there was a banter between Stephen and Christine after he gets stabbed. He's always been a bit awkward and a bit jokey--I think Thor showed that combination of humorous snark and good research rather well, though he was flippant in a way that didn't get to show his kinder side that is better established in his film. And now we get to see that sympathy in his agreement to help Peter (at least, in my opinion).
Because he was doing an amazing awesome spell not once, not twice, but *three* times in the trailer alone, I am not worried about Stephen just being a joke. He seems just as powerful as he was in IW and Endgame. The rest of the world is just getting reminded that he's definitely a bit of a socially awkward duck at times (or, if you prefer, Putting On a "I'm Fine" Front And It's Coming Across As Weird). So him being a big joke is not something I am personally worried about.
Situational humor has been a staple of Marvel films since Iron Man. I watched the films casually before 2016 when I fell head deep into Stephen Strange (or well, 2018/9 is more accurate as that's when I *really* went nuts), and my viewings before that time and after that time was a lot more analytical. And it's very easy to see where the silliness started, all the way back when Tony crashed into his own car and Dum-E sprayed him with a fire extinguisher. Thor was the butt of the joke in the "fish out of water" scene in a good, good chunk of the film. Even Captain America had some situational humor. And remember that Guardians of the Galaxy was back in 2014, which was halfway through the MCU's time thus far. The stars of these films are almost always the butt of some joke a couple times and do things that could be viewed as childish.
I don't know your age at all, but if you were born after 1990, what might be happening, rather, is that they are not getting sillier, but that you may be getting older. I was an adult (legally, at least) in 2008, but the way I view the adults of the films throughout the early 2010s as compared to now is night and day. It's just come with my own life experience, and wider understanding to media tropes. The jump is even more significant if you were younger in Iron Man/Avengers days and are an adult now. If you're an older adult than me, then I'd argue it's the matter of life experience adding to your overall knowledge of media plus, potentially, rose-tinted glasses giving you a better vision of the older movies while forgetting that the older movies had plenty of their own flaws (and silliness). Could be a lot of things- it's too individual to really say why your perspective has changed. But I don't think the MCU's largely changed their comedy formula since 2012/2013.
Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?
Oh the comics are a mess of characterizations. It's very difficult to find full consistency across writers, and some writers did him much better than others. At the moment, Jason Aaron's 2015 run is viewed as very good by a large amount of fans, while Waid's 2018 run is viewed with mixed reviews. It's largely a matter of preference as you'll see traits that are just so uncharacteristic in an arc and then it never happens again. He takes on secret identities, he kills billions to save trillions (along with the other Avengers!), he sells his soul, he's in a steady relationship for 30 years, then he's sleeping with a new woman every arc he co-stars in-- it's just so dependent on the writer over the decades. What Marvel thinks will sell. Right now Marvel thinks his death is gonna sell issues, so yeah :P You pick and choose with the comics and build a personality from there.
Thank you for the thoughtful ask. I hope this wasn't too much of a drag to read through; I get rambly on my favorite subjects. Or anything, really.
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riddlessbasilisk · 4 years
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Hi I’m a fellow tom simp 🥺 I really love a mean Tom but a nice one gets me in the feels when he starts realising he cares and gets that guilty feeling. Do you every see your self writing a Tom x innocent reader who he accidentally hurts and then feels guilty for but doesn’t want to admit it but for some reason her cuteness rules over him😭😭💖 I’m tryna turn his lil agressive ass soft but I wanna see how you could make that work 🙏🏽🥺
Hey 👀 Yeah, I've got you. Gotta love a bit of conflicted Tom, Man is a trainwreck when he has f e e l i n g s
Why is this gif of Tom so- 10/10 *chefs kiss*
Y/H - Your house
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×××××
On your first day at Hogwarts, you were considered average, a halfblood with no real reputation on either side of the family. You had a few friends, sure, and you did eventually get sorted into Y/H, which helped people believe more in your kind-hearted nature. But you were still just that, average, plain, unrecognizable in a crowd.
By your Second Year at Hogwarts, you had established some sort of name for yourself. Not all good of course, more than one of the Slytherins had called you too 'soft', but it wasn't enough to overlap what everyone else seemed to think of you. That you were a good person to go to for help, that you were a good person to rely on, that you were a good person.
By your Third Year at Hogwarts, you had been noticed by a certain Riddle, Tom Marvolo Riddle, to be exact. You had heard the rumours about him, girls swooned, guys wanted to be him, and a few, a small few, absolutely detested him - and neither you nor any one else knew why.
By your Fourth Year at Hogwarts, you had been often seen around the said Riddle from before, despite whoever protested to it. Though the name Riddle fitted Tom far too well, and perhaps you should've realised that some Riddles can't be fully solved until the last minute, and sometimes the answer isn't as nice as you'd been made to believe, and sometimes it's so much better than you ever imagined.
---
Your fingers felt frosted as you sat on your cloak against the crisp grass of Autumn, the courtyard was barely visible other than the lanterns splaying the walls. The sun went down at 5 usually now, and as much as you loved the stars sparkling up in the sky, the chill was much too noticeable - but it hardly compared to the chill that had turned into a layer of ice around your heart, and maybe that's why you continued to sit there and let the wind take over your body and the moon take over your mind
You didn't know why Tom had did it really, you didn't have the answer to why you had seen him flirting with a Pureblood Witch from your Astronomy class, but you had an idea, and it was that she was in higher classes than you, just like Tom was, and that's probably where they met, and that's probably where he had realised that she's better than you academically, and much more regal and proper.
And as much as you wished he had turned around and apologised when you caught him, he didn't, you swore he had glared actually. But you didn't mind, it's not like either of you had ever declared any sort of relationship, or said you had loved eachother - but it still hurt, really bad, and as much as you wanted to believe that those days at hogsmede, or honeydukes, or when he would let you, and only you, sit with him in the library while he read, meant something, that seemed unrealistic.
Because you had swore that you had seen him take her into the library with him earlier.
Looking up at the stars felt bitter, because they were like him, twinkling, brilliant, and yet incased in darkness only brightened by the moon, and while you wanted to believe you were his moon, it was far too obvious that you were only a shooting star who went as quick as they came.
But the ice around your heart was thawed only by the woes that Tom had told you so many times before, about how he didn't understand himself as much as he wished he did, about how Abraxas and Avery were annoyances more than they were conveniences. Things he had never told anyone else, things you doubted he would even tell her.
And the ice frosted over again when you remembered the time you saw him pin a third year muggleborn against the wall for something so minimal, or when you saw Avery come out of the Slytherin common room one day with bruises along his arms that you were sure weren't there the day before.
Tom Riddle was a bad person
And you were a good person
People had said it before, so why did it hurt you to realise,
And why did you still want him so so badly.
It was because you wanted to be the moon in his darkness, you wanted him to be next to you with frosted fingers imagining you in the stars, you believed you could be the moon to his darkness.
Which is why you were going to the library, because you knew he would be there, and you knew he was a good person, and you knew that Sienna Bowcan only wanted him for his looks.
Pushing open the library door, your confidence slipped away, there he was, there they both were. Tears pushed up against your vision but you blinked them away, taking comfort in the smell of old books that invaded the space around you.
Pushing yourself forward reluctantly, you stopped in front of them, Tom didn't even glance at you, Sienna seemed to be seething.
"What do you want, L/N?", The pureblood spoke through her teeth, an amount of jealousy seeping through, and you noticed Tom stiffen at that, which thawed your heart again, even though you weren't entirely sure it was her that stiffened him.
"Can I speak to you, Tom?" You spoke quietly, trying not to let your nerves show through, because you didn't know if rejection would hurt more or not, "Alone?", you glanced at her again, and the hate surrounding her made you shiver.
The man himself closed over the book he had been reading, a potions textbook, which seemed a little off for him, considering he was perfect at potions, but you didnt comment. His brown eyes looked up at you with a cold glare, which made you almost sure of rejection,
Until he didn't, standing up,
"Where to, L/N"
But perhaps being referred to like that by him of all people hurt like it was rejection, and suddenly you wanted to cry again, "The astronomy tower?", your voice was meek, and it felt humiliating.
The first half of the walk up there was uneventful, but you could feel him looking at you, analysing you as if you were that potions textbook from the library, "Why do you look sad?", His voice was neutral, but Tom Marvolo Riddle didn't ask questions without reason. That in itself made you think that maybe it wasn't all just a facade.
Forcing yourself to look at him, you couldn't help but smile, that face, that face of his right now, the one that was somewhere between frustration and confusion. He had made it before when he was ranting about his feelings to you, "I'm hurt", you admitted.
Suddenly, halfway up the tower, he stopped, prompting you to stop with him,
"Why are you hurt? Who hurt you, I can talk to them, if you'd like", you felt stunned for a second, confused, talk to them? He would do that for you? Of course, unless he planned on talking to himself, that probably wouldn't work today, "You hurt me, Tom" you looked down, not wanting to look at him, but you could only imagine the whirlwind happening in those eyes of his.
You felt your chin being grabbed softly and pushed up, but you didn't register it until you saw him again. Annoyance swirled in his eyes, prettier than any stars that could be born, and yet his annoyance hardly seemed directed at you, "How...did I hurt you?", All of the confidence that was Tom Marvolo Riddle was still there, but he seemed confused, vulnerable almost. Your smile weakened a little, "I just, thought there was...something between us, but then you started..pursuing Bowcan", You shifted away from him a little, prepared to run so be it he laughed, or mocked you.
You hoped he wouldn't, because you didn't believe he was as bad as people made him out to be.
Yet, he just seemed confused when you looked into his eyes again, "I do like you." He stated in an almost factual tone, as if it were the most clear thing in the world.
"But Bowc-", Tom cut you off quickly, not just with the look he gave you but with the pull he had gave your arm before he interlooped it with his own and led you up the stairs and into the astronomy tower, guiding you towards the edge of the rail and looking up at the stars, "Bowcan means nothing", his voice interlapped with the wind.
"Does that mean we...do have something?", as much as you wanted to say, 'are you mine?', or, 'are we together then?', you knew that that was far too blunt for him.
For Tom, however, he looked up at the stars to avoid your gaze, because he didn't know what he was doing. He had you beside him, he had you, he always had, considering anyone else who got near you romantically ended up with some sort of visit off of him (indirectly or not). Yet he had hurt you, and that hurt him, and nothing was allowed to hurt him, or make him weak, and if you were anyone else he was sure he would've threw you over the railing, or atleast debated it.
But if him being with Bowcan hurt you, despite her being little more than a pawn in the game he played, then he would stop. And even though this encounter had absolutely ruined his match, he hardly cared, because it was you
He didn't hesitate to squeeze your arm, "Yes, apparently so", and as much as he wanted to say so much more, he couldn't, because you didn't know half of the things he did, and he didn't want to ruin that innocence - and feeling you press yourself closer to him in some form of content filled him with emotions he hardly understood.
Maybe the stars told him all he had to know. He was the darkness and you were the light within, both the stars and the moon - because the light in his heart, small as it may be, was reserved for you, and you had all the light in the world to offer to everyone else.
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corellianbrandy · 3 years
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Caught up on episodes 2-16 of The Bad Batch this weekend and these are my thoughts as I watched
1. Love how tarkin has aged like 40 years since we last saw him approximately four-to-six months ago in the clone wars. Like I’m not kidding I genuinely love it
2. Whenever little omega gets out of the ship and sees sunlight for the first time and is so excited about dirt 🥺
3. The scary scary nexu 🥺🥺🥺🥺 so cool
4. The empire just immediately making everyone’s lives miserable ie giving everybody a chain code and shit. You’re right Dave Filoni we SHOULDN’T have social security numbers.
5. CID FUCKING RULES LMFAO. Cathy Bates lizard ass mob boss bitch. Echo knows her as ‘a contact of the Jedi’ which coming from him probably means less ‘the Jedi’ in general and more just ‘Obi-Wan and Anakin’. Cid clearly liked the Jedi, but Anakin I can’t imagine having that much patience to deal with her and he probably just interacted with her out of necessity but Obi-Wan. Imagine her and Obi-Wan interacting.** The flirting. The mind games. They were probably in love.
6. I always know that I personally am going to have a great time whenever the Zygerians show up because they always bring the Peak Weird Scifi Ralph Mcquarrie 70s vibes with them and they did NOT disappoint. The flying lizard vs. rancor fight gave me the strength I needed to go on another day
7. Speaking of the rancor like I knew it was going to be a rancor as soon as we saw the cage but I wasn’t expecting it to be THEE rancor.
8. Furthermore. Lost it at thee rancor making puppy dog heart-eyes at omega as it’s being led away to be chained up under Jabba’s palace to eat Jabba’s enemies for the rest of it’s life until Luke finally kills it in 4ABY.
9. Everybody climbing through the ion engine core was COOL SO COOL. My little nerd brain really loved that. “This is actually a marvel of engineering. This steel coating is capable of withstanding -“ “NO ONE CARES!” 💯💯💯💯 Exactly how I would’ve written it A+++++++
10. The fucking rattlesnake wild west music that aggressively plays every time Cad Bane is on screen. What’s better than this.
11. Cad Bane’s entire new gunslinger cowboy outfit. Everything to me.
12. I love all these deep seeded reasons we’re getting for why the storm troopers SUCK. 1. Being the entire idea to use them in the first place was based off a misunderstanding made after one(1) experimental mission where it’s interpreted that they’re better than the clones when the clones were the reason for the mission’s success in the first place and 2. How a lot of the first-wave storm troopers were trained by the clones who either didn’t want to train them and didnt do a great job on purpose or did it but personally left out a lot of info and skills. Pretty fascinating explanation for protagonist armor while also making a statement about the inefficiency and insincerity of institutional evil/bureaucracy (I guess).
13. Holy shit did NOT LIKE THE CLAUSTROPHOBIC ENDING AAAAAHHH. Like the facility on kamino floating to the bottom of the sea. Kill meeeeeeee. Very cool visuals though.
14. One thing I didn’t like was all of the stuff with Crosshair. It was all just so contrived and weird and didnt make any sense and really just brought the show down in the end, writing-wise. Honestly, most of the stuff regarding the clones’ story arch after their interaction with the guy on Ryloth who still had his armor painted, where we’re supposed to just assume his inhibitor chip . . . didn’t work or something? But instead of anyone bothering to tell him what’s going on after such a big deal was made out of the chips the episode right before this, it’s treated like some kind of moral choice the guy is making kinda took me out of the story severely. And even more so when the same guy manages to talk a bunch of other clones out of working for the empire too. Like can they do that? We’ve had this idea that these chips essentially mind control you repeated to us over and over so wtf. There was no coherent explanation for any of it. Maybe it’ll be explained later somewhere else, but still. Weird to do it this way. They needed to be more consistent with what a horrible scary thing those chips were instead of doing whatever that was. But up until then it was a lot of fun sci-fi.
14. Every minute cody doesn’t show up in one of these post war 66 shows i get more and more excited for him to show up dramatically in kenobi
**Like fr picture it it’s year 2 of the clone wars. Anakin and Ahsoka are sitting at the space mahjong table in Cid’s parlor bored as fuck and ready to leave but Obi-wan is still in cid’s office. it’s hour four and they’re only halfway through orchestrating the most unnecessarily elaborate and convoluted deal for a piece of information like “where is cad bane the last time I saw him he stole my wallet and car keys and he refuses to return them yes my car got blown up but that’s not the point It’s The Principle Of The Thing.” Literally everyone around them grew bored of all of this 3 hours ago but not obi-wan and cid. This is what they do for fun and they are both having the time of their lives. Anakin this war is stressful some of us are trying to relax
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psycho-pass-saiko · 4 years
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A bit change in order of the events in Gekijouban. What would happen if Akane was also kidnapped with Kougami?
Inside the abandoned chapel,the air was damp and smelly. It was already past sunset, the base of the enemy was enlighetened with dim lights. At the center of the chapel, six bodies were present.
“No! NO!” A desperation mixed furious voice escaped from Kogami’s sore throat. A man with a quite bulky appearence, started to walk towards Akane. Kogami tried to rise on his feet but the chains around his wrists were pulled instantly to sides once he moved. He grunted through his teeth, tasting the metalic taste of his blood in his mouth. He was bleeding, almost everywhere. His black shirt was shattered, half of it was hanging from his abdomen to the ground. On his bare skin you could see the whip wounds as well as small yet good amount of blade cuts. He was chained through his wrists, his arms were forcefully hanged to his sides by a blonde woman and a midget man. They once again pulled his arms to warn him to behave. Pain was everywhere. He had a high tolarence of pain yet he just wanted to whine, laying on the cold stone floor. But he knew he couldnt. Because-
“Fuck off!” Kougami, once again cursed when he heard Akane’s distressed voice. His blurry vision focused once again on her. The bulky short haired blonde man was now next to her, grabbing her arms over her head, he sat on her waist.
“Looking at him, maybe we should have called him “Target Romeo” instead of Delta, hmm?” said the black man with a whip in his hands. For a second Kogami didnt hear him as he was too busy worrying about Akane at that moment. He hissed, rose on his knees. He grabbed the chains with his palms, pulling them forward. The men who was handling his chains were caught off of guard so they tripped one or two steps, allowing him to have a step forward. It was enough for him to face the bastard. Their leader, with a bionic arm and leg was nowhere to be seen. Instead of him another man of his, with a basic black shirt and trousers but striking red hair , was carrying out their torture session. He startled when beaten up Kougami got closer. With a calm yet bloodthirsty whisper, Kougami looked directly into their torturer’s eyes.
“If you touch her one more time,” he narrowed his eyes, continued with his stone cold voice. “ I will tear you apart limb by limb with my own teeth.”
Everyone in the room halt for a second.
Red haired man was the first to break away from the hostile threat of his. He gulped down, smirked eagerly.
“Not before i tear you apart, you rice-rat.” Just as he finished his sentence, his whip found Kougami’s face. With a sudden pain he kneeled down once again, gasping for air.
“Kougami! Get the fuck off me right now!” Akane saw the moment whip hitting his face. She was also tortured, kicked, punched, even stripped halfway from her clothes. She had only her cargo pants and bra on, her torso fully naked. But nothing hurted as much as seeing him suffering in front of her, more than her. She felt the furious tears coming to her eyes but instead she growled behind her throat, facing the man who was on her stomach. Short haired blonde man was gazing upon her,as if she was a meal he was about to enjoy. She frowned with rage. “Get of me!” hissed. Who was sitting on her was a very muscular man with bionic limbs over his chest and shoulders, twice--no, triple size of her. She realized taking a breath got harder every second. But she didnt care about it, her only thoughts were about how to kick this prick’s ass as soon as possible. She heard some chain clatters but couldnt turn her head as the guy grabbed her chin with a force. “You are one wild cat, arent you?” His disgusting giggling almost made Akane throw up, but she had nothing in her stomach to do so. So she spitted on his face instead.
“Free me and i will show you what kind of cat i am, you idiot!” she threated him but only got another laugh as a response. Fingers around her chin squeezed her skin more.
“I now see why he is favoring you, kitty. Its much more fun when your partner is wild and reluctant as you are.” The bulky guy, suddenly grabbed her left breast with his free hand. Akane, flinched with the sudden touch but didnt make any sounds, only frowning more. He leaned forward, more of his weight crushing her. His face was so close that she could smell the alcohol from his stinky breath. Akane heard a sudden gasping from her left and looked towards it. Only to catch Kogami’s gaze with hers. She felt shivers on every part of her body. Not because the touch on her skin, but the look in his eyes. His usual bright blue shines were nowhere to be seen. A fresh red wound was over his right forehead to end of his right cheek, covering his agonized expression. His gaze was now pitch black, reminding her a black hole. The monster inside him was already ready to take the control. She almost saw the image of a hellhound. Kogami, didnt- couldnt hold himself anymore, with a exhale, he released the creature inside of him.
A loud thud and one painful scream.
These were the only things Akane could hear when her face once again forcefully pulled back as the guy was kissing, nimping her bare neck now.
Everything happened in seconds.
Kougami, now more different than his usual self, more brutal, grabbed the chain in his right palm and pulled with a sudden inhumanly power, breaking the steel. The woman who was holding the chain fell on the floor but no one cared about her at that moment, since Kougami was already attacking the man in front of him. His right hand, chain still hanging on his wrist, grabbed the neck of the red haired man who was smirking. With a hoarse growl under his breath, he cracked his neck bone as he closed his grasp over him. Man’s body went limp, the smirk still on his lips. Well, he didnt find time to change his expression. Kougami opened his fingers to drop the corpse in his hand. He remembered the second guy who was holding the chain on his left arm when his arm pulled backwards. But Kougami didnt move an inch, only aimed for the guy who was still on Akane. Swinging his right arm back, he threw the broken chain in his right hand to forward. Chain, as his plan, found its aim, tangled around the bulky guy’s neck like a snake as Kougami grabbed the steel and pulled him back. The blonde guy, with shock and confusion, reached to his choked throat with both of his hands, releasing Akane. Making the biggest mistake. Akane without spending a second rose up halfly with her torso and punched the adam apple’s of the guy’s, just over the chains.
She felt the crack before hearing it.
First his eyes shutted down then his body went unconscious over her. But this time Akane pulled herself to left, saving herself from getting crushed by his massive shape. The chain over the laying man was fiercely pulled back again, only then she hurried and pulled her legs from the weight of him. She quickly stood up, turning to Kougami’s side. He was being dragged on the floor as the woman who fell before also started to pull the chain attached to his left arm. Akane panickly turned back to the body of the bulky man, she grabbed the dagger which was placed on the belt of his right leg, then dashed towards the enemy.
Kougami was on his knees and right hand, but another strong pull made him fell on his left side. His bare chest scraped over the rough stone floor. He felt his skin peeled. With a sour whine he blinked. Just before of his blinking, Kougami saw a glance of a brunette hair although his blood was blocking his sight. Akane, reached to the attackers. Woman dropped her grip of the chains and reached over Akane. But she squated down, attacking from low ground, she stabbed her side, near to her kidney. Blonde woman grunted with immerse pain and doubled over, yet Akane saw the odd smile on her face. With a shiver on her spine Akane elbowed her face before turning over the other guy, leaving the dagger on the woman’s body . As she lifted her head to right she was startled when she found a chilly feeling of the metal, now a gun was on her forehead.
“Stop right now! Kneel!” shouted the short, ponytailed man. She could see his hesitation, even in his prosthetic yellow eyeball.
Akane sighed, gave him a bold look.
“You are not even holding the handgrip right.”
The guy, one hand on Kogami’s chain other holding a gun to her, frowned with confusion. And this moment was the moment she was yearning for.
She quickly hit the inside of his gun holding wrist and with a twist she took the gun from his hand, now aiming his head with a stable aim.
“Loose the chain. Now.” She hissed with a wrathful expression on her. Her finger tensed on the trigger.
Short man instantly dropped the chain that he was holding and without even looking his back started to run with gasps.
Not until he disappeared into the darkness of the corridor in front of them Akane relieved. But she immediately tensed up again, turned to her behind. Kougami was laying on the ground, facedown, seemed to be unconsicous.
She panicked and reached to his body in a couple of steps. She glided on her knees next to him on the ground, carefully turning him to his back. His left arm was reaching backwards on the ground, as she carefully grabbed his arm bringing to his side.
“Kougami?” a shaky voice called his name.
She didnt get a response.
All those years as a detective, all those corpses or the murder scenes she saw, nothing made her lose her cool, not completely at least.
But now, she felt her heart stopped. All the blood in her veins, turned into ice.
“Kougami!” She gasped with a dying scream, holding his face between her palms. He was cold. So cold. Or was it her fingers? She couldnt tell the diferrence as the panic spreaded over her body more each second. She slicked his bloody damp hair aside, tried to open his eyes. But they shutted down once she stoped touching his eyelids.
Her hands started to tremble, moving around his limp, wounded body. She felt the bruises, semi healed wounds, open and still bleeding cuts.... there was so much blood, so much... while her fear grew bigger inside her own chest, she remembered her first-aid lessons as she leaned over his teared shirt to listen his heartbeats. Just the second agter she put her left ear on his heart, Kougami coughed harshly, shaking her head. Akane quickly pulled her head back and leaned over his face.
“Kougami?! Kougami, can you hear me? Kouga-“
“Stop screaming for a second, please.” He whispered with his dry chapped lips, voice hoarse. His eyes were still closed but a second later they opened slowly. A grayish blue flames showed themselves under the yellow dim lights. His gaze went over her as far as they can, since he couldnt even move his head.
“Are you okay? Do you have any wounds? Where are they- UGH!” She slammed him down when he desperately tried to rise on his elbow.
“For fucks sake, stay down. Oh my god,” she cursed between her sobs. Wiped her own tears to see him clearer, as she was only looking a distorted vision of him a second ago because of the burning tears in her eyes. Kougami knew it was serious, if she was cursing.
“Are you in pain?” He asked softly. Akane looked at his eyes. She saw the pure worry inside of them.
“You are the one who was laying dead just a second ago, dont you dare ask me if i am in pain. Of course i am,” She sobbed once more trying to block the unstoppable tears. She leaned over his face, her forehead on his.
“Please, dont, dont ever do that again.”
Kougami wanted to tease her with a joke but tiredness was stronger. He only sighed to her lips. “I am okay now. Calm down. See?” His trembling right hand placed on her left hand, grabbing his face. As he moved his arm the chains tied to his wrist jangled.
“To be fair, i would much rather have the chains in the bedroom.” No matter how tired, Kougami was Kougami at the end. Akane snorted a small giggle, growing into a real laugh. When he heard her cracked laugh his lips also carved into a grin.
Akane leaned back to look his face properly, did a damage control. Except the whip wound on his face, everything was intact. His right eye was red with blood but it was also responding to her moves, meaning it was okay. She carressed his cheek slightly. “Thank you.”
Kougami leaned over her small palm, silently.
“You did all the job, i was tied down.” He opened his eyes, frowning, was obviously recalling the time when Akane was under that guy minutes ago. “ I should have skinned them alive-“
Akane, silencing him with her thumb on his lips, leaned and put her head on his chest again. Finding peace with his heartbeats. She closed her teary eyes, feeling his hand gently stroking the crown of her head.
‘’What it is in your small head, hmm?’’ asked Kougami.
With a sudden chilly wind, her short hair slicked back of her face. Akane slowly opened her eyes as she smelled the salty damp air of the ocean.
Her gaze met with the softest orange colored sunset of the beach where they were laying on a lounge chair, together.
As she tried to fathom the abrupt change of the scenery, she blinked once or twice. Her head was still on his chest. She could hear the steady heartbeats under his broad ribcage. She softly turned her head back to other side, placing her left ear on his chest. She encountered with his beauty, lighten with the mild sunset sunshine. His usual sharp features were now gentle than ever. Without realizing she reached over his cheek to caress his face. Kougami, leaned over her almost ghostly palm. He frowned, fixing his ocean gray irises on her caramel ones.
Akane only smiled as a response.
Thats was all a memory huh, she thought to herself.
Over their kidnapping, a year had passed. A year was a short period of time but the changes were severe on their life. He was now back in Japan, working for Foreign affairs. He had to travel a lot, as expected. And one of those travels turned out to be a good chance as a vacation for them. So here they were on a famous beach yet rather quiet one at the moment, cuddling as the sun was leaving the horizon for the moon to lighten the night.
She knew he was important to her. But that day, when he was lying half-dead in front of her, in her palms; she learnt he was essential to her, like every breathe she took.
She didnt want the world to turn without him.
She didnt want the sun to burn without him.
And most importantly, she didnt want to live a life without him.
Akane put her left palm on his chest, taking a slight boost from his strong muscles, she lifted her head. Now eye to eye, she let her smile get bigger. The whip wound on the right side of his face was almost gone.
‘’Uhm, nothing, just some memories.’’ She whispered, eyes falling down to his lips.
Kougami relaxed his eyebrows, completely letting himself vulnerable in her presence. He always knew the possibility that she could also get nightmares like him, or visions. And he knew it was not some bright memories she recollected a while ago, in his embrace, shaking subtly. He slowly turned his face to the left only to give a small kiss on her palm.
‘’I suggest you to stay in the moment, inspector.’’ He chuckled as Akane frowned lightly.
‘’ I am not one anymore,’’ referring the change in her title by the Sibyl system’s decision.
‘’ You are always one for me.’’ Said Kougami, fixing his eyes on her. He grinned when she got the meaning behind his sentence.
Clever girl, as always.
Another ocean breeze rushed through their embraced bodies, urging Kougami to cover his book holding hand over her back, gazing towards the horizon.
I cant judge her though, everything feels like a distant dream, he thought to himself. Her softness against his firm body, fair scent of her shampoo and salty ocean, complete calm and peace..
These were not the words or moments he kept in his mind so often. Yet, he decided to burn this moment to back of his eyelids. Like he had done to all the times he shared with her.
‘’ Didnt know you could be so poetic,’’ her voice pulled his eyes to herself again. One word from her lips could make him burn the world, destroy everything in sight. But instead, that one word happened to have more affect than any other, holding his ice cold heart with the warmest hug. ‘’Shinya.’’
Next thing he knew, he was already leaning forward to catch her lips like she did to his heart.
...
Here goes second attempt of me writing a lovely-dovely Shinkane, i hope you guy can enjoy now imma yeet myself to outer space byEEE
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Burning Secrets Obi wan x padawan reader pt 2
Pairing: Obi Wan x Padawan reader
Warning: mild language, mentions of injury
A.n here's part 2! Thanks for reading😚
***************************************************
For the first time in his life Obi wan felt completely useless. Battling
Sith? Childsplay. Waiting for the doctors? Literal hell...
He paced outside where the doctors were treating you. A million thoughts ran through his mind. Why hadn't you told him you were injured? Didn't you trust him? Were you afraid of him?? He sighed for the millionth time running his hand through his disheveled hair.
"General kenobi" a feminine robotic voice called his attention.
He immediately walked over to the driod and asked a barrage of questions,
"The patient will be alright, she is under strict orders to rest for the next few days until doctor Ryylis clears her. You may wait quietly inside until she wakes." With that the driod left promptly.
Obi wan felt slightly relieved however he was still very uneasy. He walked through the white doors and spotted you laying soundly asleep under crisp white covers. He plopped down into the chair beside you watching the slow rise and fall of your chest. Suddenly his worry started to be replaced by anger. What had you been thinking? You could have been seriously impaired or worse! He furrowed his brow for a whole nother reason and suddenly felt the urge to grab you by the shoulders and knock some sense into you. He decided against it however and opted to wait patiently while you slept.
He may or may not have angrily pushed a tendril away from your face when he noticed it bothered your nose unconsciously. And he definitely did not (absolutely did) adjust your blanket everytime you moved and it slipped.
And that time he heard you coughing? He absolutely 100 percent did not lift your head like a delicate rose so you wouldn't choke (100 percent did) and slowly guide it back down while fluffing the pillow.
He glared at you as you slept peacefully. How dare you look so calm when he was feeling like this. Stupid reckless padawans...
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For the first time in a while you woke up feeling fresh and rested. You slowly opened your eyes and panicked slightly when you didnt see the familiar grey ceiling of your room. Instead bright snowwhite walls filled your vision.
Then like a bolt of lightning the memories came flooding back to you. We were training and then....oh no!
You ever so slightly tilted your head to the right and internally gasped when you saw your master. This was a med bay room, he had found out. Shit
He sensed you and you quickly snapped your eyes shut very nervous. Shit shit shit.
You felt him shift positions and held your breath.
If you couldve seen his expression you would've fainted all over again.
"Are you seriously pretending to be asleep right now?!?!" He practically shouted in disbelief and anger.
You opened your eyes once more and smiled nervously, "O-of course not master haha I was just....adjusting to the light.." you pulled the blanket higher attempting to shield away from his harsh gaze. A mixture of emotion you couldn't quite place yet. Definitely anger tho. Yup that one was clear...
"Well now that you're awake and well adjusted, I believe you have some explaining to do" he said non humorously, and half glaring.
He stood intimidatingly over you with his arms crossed. "You can start with that" he pointed abruptly at your bandaged midsection that you just now took note of.
How were you going to get out of this one?!?
"Well what can I say...those new training sabers sure pack a wallo-" you abruptly shut up with a gasp when he practically growled and slammed his hands down on the bed on either side of you. Ok joking was a horrible terrible idea you noted.
You gulped in fear as you watched him try to calm himself down. "Enough! Tell me the truth." His eyes bore into yours and you hesitated suddenly speechless.
"Now." He added sternly. You swallowed and took a shakey breathe.
"It happened when I was fighting Tane..." you looked away, not being able to bear his penetrating gaze any longer.
"Why didn't you say anything?!" His voice was dark, something you had honestly only heard when he had interegattoed this horrible slave trader before.
"I-I.." you found yourself at another loss for words. How could you tell him? How could you tell him you only wanted to prove yourself? That you secretly felt inferior to the other padawans. Being master kenobi padawan was an honor and many were jealous when you were selected by the council. They made sure to let you know how they felt. It's why you tried extra hard on missions, why you were reckless and why you hid your injury...you didn't want them to be right and the worst thing..you didnt want Obi wan to be disappointed. You would rather take a hundred sabers to the stomach before letting that happen..
Y/n..
Obi wan's eyes softened slightly as he entered your thoughts without permission
You gasped realizing he had heard everything. You suddenly felt very vulnerable.
He sighed letting out some of his anger, "y/n.." he said in a much calmer voice, " I have never been disappointed in you, angry? Yes, annoyed? Almost daily, irritated?-" you felt a rush of shame pass over you before you felt a soft hand on your shoulder,
"what I'm saying is, you've never disappointed me" "I am your master, you dont need to prove yourself to me because I know what your truly capable of. I know you better than anyone. Which is why you have to trust me no matter what... especially when things like this happen .." his eyes shifted over the bandages with worry again. "Its my job to look out for you.."
"Promise me you'll never hide things like this from me again" he looked up into your eyes more vulnerable than you had even seen him.
"I promise" You nodded sincerely. "Good because I'm not quite sure what I'd do if anything ever-" he cut himself off when he realized what he had began to say. An unusual dust of pink on his cheeks. He coughed awkwardly and stood up. "Yes well, I better be going, I have a council meeting" he turned around rigidly while a large smile graced your cheeks.
"Obi wan!" He paused and turned halfway to you from the doorway.
"You sure you wanna attend a meeting dressed like that?" You smirked pointing at his mismatched boots.
He became slightly flustered, mumbling something incoherent under his breathe. He would never in a million years tell you it was because he took a total of 30 seconds to change his clothes and freshen up before returning to you unconscious form.
You couldn't help but smile wider, the mighty obi wan was actually embarrassed "I wouldnt be so smug if I were you, as soon as you're recovered your training will be doubled!"
Oh great
You laughed lightly, "You're on old man"
He turned before you could see the blossoming grin on his face.
Stupid padawans...
A.n thanks for reading! Lemme know what you thought!!
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Stressed Out
You were escorted into the arena by two guards, they each had an arm on you and were pushing their way through the crowd of screaming fans who had collected outside while you were arriving. People were pointing, recording, and taking pictures of you, all while trying to grab onto you and follow you inside. Your body was exhausted, mentally and physically. You were beyond stressed and you felt as if your body was losing the battle of life. You made it inside and took a breath, leaning against the cold brick wall. The guards stood nearby, giving you space but making sure you were okay. Harry hadn't arrived yet, but you wish he had gotten there first. You wanted nothing more than a warm hug and someone to tell you everything was going to be okay. Your body was shaking, your heart rate had doubled and you felt as if you could barely breathe. 
You slumped to the floor, your back still against the wall, your face buried in your knees. You closed your eyes and thought back to simpler times. The days where Harry would surprise you at home, he would walk in carrying flowers and cupcakes, the biggest smile on his face. You would stay inside and watch movies all night while ordering pizza and laughing while he told you all of the dad jokes he had come up with on the plane. You would sleep in until noon, snuggling in bed most of the day and catching up on everything you had missed while he had been gone. In the afternoon you would get dressed only to go out to your favorite park and walk around, ending up at your favorite ice cream parlor where Harry would sample each and every flavor until deciding to get the exact same one he always got, Christmas Pudding. Those were the days. The days when your relationship was still private and fans only speculated what was going on. 
You and Harry had been dating for over a year now, and originally your plan was to keep the relationship a secret and as private as possible. Of course Harry’s fans were dedicated and involved, they had quickly speculated that the two of you were dating but nothing had been posted or confirmed. Thats the way you liked things, you could still go out to the store and not be swarmed with people or have to have guards tag along with you. It had been a month or so ago, you and Harry had gone out to dinner and a pap caught the two of you mid kiss. The news spread quickly and then Harry had confirmed it in an interview and then also mentioned you would be touring with him. Now halfway through the tour, you were breaking down. Fans had taken quite the liking to you, which at first you had been grateful for, but now it was a little overwhelming for someone who wasn't quite used to being in the spotlight and was considered “normal”. 
“(y/n)!” Harrys concerned voice echoed through the walls backstage. You looked up, tears in your eyes as he knelt in front of you. He opened his arms and you climbed into them, breaking into sobs. “Shhh...its okay love.” he whispered into your hair. “Are you okay? What happened?”
You tried controlling your breathing but were struggling. You gripped him tighter and tried explaining. “Th-they-they-they were all around us and-and-they -they wouldn't let go. They just kept pulling on me and I-I couldn't see where we were going. Everywhere I looked-there was -there was a phone recording me and-”
“Shh...Im sorry babe. I should've been there.” Harry pressed a kiss to your forehead and just held you until you had calmed down a little. Your breathing had improved and he had pulled you to your feet, escorting you to the dressing room. You sat on the couch and looked in the mirror. You had big black bags under your eyes which were now red and puffy from crying, you looked a lot thinner, and you almost didn't recognize yourself.  Harry was running his fingers through his hair, you knew you were the cause of his stress which only made you feel worse about everything. He looked at you and sighed, walking over. “I think you should try getting some rest...I have rehearsal but after we can get dinner okay?” You nodded and he wrapped his blanket around your body, tucking you in. He kissed you softly and smiled, “Get some sleep babe, it’ll make you feel better.” you smiled and whispered I love you as he walked out. As soon as the door had closed you sat up. You hadn't actually gotten more than an hours worth of sleep every night for over a week now. Part of it was due to stress, the other part was that you just didn't sleep well when you weren't in your own bed. Normally when you were traveling with Harry he slept with you, making you feel at home and sleep fairly normally. This tour however had been different. He would go from performing to writing and recording, leaving very little time together. On top of not sleeping, you hadn't really been eating either. The thought of food made you feel sick, you felt like someone was always either judging what you were eating, how you were eating, or why you were eating. You had been judged on your weight, your body, and your looks more than you could count. You received more comments on your body image than you ever thought possible and it had made you extremely self conscious. 
A little over an hour later you heard a knock at the door. You stood up confused, Harry would've just walked in... You opened it and found a man smiling. “Hi, you must be (y/n)?”
“Yeah...”
“I’m Dr. Ken. Mr. Styles talked to me earlier.”
“Okay...is Harry okay?”
“Harry’s fine yes, I’m actually here for you.”
“For me?”
“Yes, Harry was a little concerned...he mentioned you may have been feeling overwhelmed lately. You may not be sleeping well, or eating...” 
You didn't answer just crossed your arms and stood in the doorway. “I’m sorry but-”
“Dr. Ken.” Harry’s voice cut in from around the corner. He was sweaty from rehearsal, his shirt slung over his shoulder. Harry shook Dr. Kens hand and invited him into the room. You stood in the doorway not moving or talking and he came over with an exhausted look on his face. “Babe...”
“Harry what the hell.”
“You're not okay! You need to talk to someone, you are actually scaring me. I worry that one day you're going to drop over dead from not eating or not getting any sleep. Its not okay...I don't want to lose you...I don't want you to go home..but you cant continue on like this. I cant watch you kill yourself. I cant lose you.” You bit your lip, tears forming in your eyes. You had no idea Harry was so worried. You hadn't even realized that he had realized you weren't doing well. Harry hugged you and gripped your hand tightly while pulling you over to the couch. “Let him help...” Harry whispered. 
You looked into his green eyes and nodded. You never wanted to hurt or stress Harry out. Dr. Ken sat next to you taking your vitals. He seemed a little concerned but didn't say anything. Harry stood behind the couch pacing anxiously. “(y/n) your body is extremely dehydrated...when was the last time you had some water today?”
You thought about it, and weren't exactly sure. Normally you drank more water than your body every needed but you had no idea the last time you had taken a drink. “I’m not sure..”
“Harry, why don't you grab her a water. She needs to get fluids into her body..” Harry nodded and grabbed two bottles of water. He handed one to you, and dropped the other next to your side. You took a sip, appeasing Harry for a moment. 
“So why don't you tell me a little bit about how you've felt the past few weeks.” Dr. ken asked. You looked back at Harry anxiously. You were afraid at how he was going to react.. you knew he loved you but what if he thought you couldn't handle the spotlight...what if that was the end of the line and he ended things with you because of it. Dr. Ken sensed your apprehension and nodded to Harry. Harry didn't want to leave, he was very reluctant but after an encouraging nod from Dr. Ken he sighed deeply. 
He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I have to get ready for the show. If you need anything, don't feel bad about interrupting okay?”
You nodded and he kissed you softly. You smiled and watched him leave. Dr. Ken looked at you again with a gentle smile. “Lets try again, what have you been feeling lately?” You sighed and let it out. You told him about the stress with fans, your body image, being perfect, being someone Harry should date. You told him about not being comfortable on tour, not spending time with Harry, your anxiety about being overcrowded when out and about. Everything building up in your body was spilling out. You felt a weight roll off your shoulder. Dr. Ken said nothing, he wasn't taking notes, wasn't judging you. He was just listening. He listened to you talk for almost an hour. You shared how you were afraid to talk to Harry about everything because you thought he would leave you. You mentioned how you felt that you couldn't live up to fans expectations. You cried about missing simpler times with Harry. He handed you a tissue and smiled. “(y/n) has Harry ever seemed unhappy with you?”
“No, but-”
“Has he ever said anything about fans not liking you?”
“No.”
“Have you talked to him at all about these fears?”
You sighed. “No.”
“And why’s that?”
“I don't want to stress him out. I don't want to throw off his game while on tour. I don't want him to hate me...”
“Has he ever said anything about hating you?”
“No...”
“(y/n) I think something that might make both you and Harry feel better is talking to him about everything.” You nodded and looked down at your feet. “I also think that you may benefit from going home and not continuing on with the tour..” You didnt say anything. You knew he was right about both things. You needed to talk to Harry. You also needed to go home. You couldnt continue on like this anymore. 
“I know..” you sighed. He smiled and patted your hand.
“Your health is more important than up keeping his expectations of you. If he's that upset about you leaving...he's not the one anyway.” You smiled sadly at him and nodded. 
“You're right... Thank you.”
“You're welcome. I’m going to leave you my number. Call anytime okay? I mean it..even if it's just to complain about Harry. I don't want you holding things in like this anymore. Understood?”
“Understood.” you smiled as he stood up and collected his things. “Thank you Dr. Ken.”
“Anytime.” He walked out, leaving you alone in the room. You waited for Harry patiently, trying to think of what to say. You were so involved in your thoughts you almost didn't hear him walk in. He sat next to you and ran his fingers through his hair. “How was the show?”
“Not my best...I had other things on my mind.” He smiled sadly and you nodded. 
“Harry I need to talk to you about some things...” Harry looked sick, but he nodded. You grabbed his hands and looked at him. His green eyes were searching yours for clues. You took a deep breath. “I think...I think I need to go home.”
“Go home? Like as in leave the tour?”
“Yeah...” you bit your lip and Harry looked confused. 
“But-”
“No...Haz I really need to get everything off my chest. The last month has been so hard-like harder than I ever thought. I don't feel like we have spent any time together...you don't even sleep with me...On top of that, I don't feel like I can live up to your image. I cant make fans happy. I’m not pretty enough for you...”
“Babe thats insane.” Harry cut in. “You are beautiful. I love every part of you. And you make fans happy, they all love seeing you-”
“Harry. People send me death threats daily. They say I’m ugly and fat, and they say I bring down your image and well maybe they are right maybe I-”
“You make me the best person I can be...You are the most beautiful thing about me (y/n)...I’m sorry..I didn't realize this was happening but I want you to understand that none of that is true.” you smiled and nodded.
“I know but it's been hard. I feel like I want to be better for you, and I know you love me. I know you think I’m beautiful. But in this environment I just feel like I need to be more. I cant get away from people. I cant even go out to lunch without people taking my picture and posting it somewhere online. I know thats a part of you. I know you're used to it but I’m not.” You took another breath. “I don't want to leave...I really don't. But Harry I cant go on like this. My body feels like its giving up and I-”
You were crying. You wanted Harry to understand. He pulled you into his arms and cuddled you closely. “I understand.”
“You do?”
“(y/n) I want you to be okay...I want us to work and if you need a break from this...well I am going to support that...”
“Youre not mad? You don't hate me?”
“I could never hate you. I don't want you to be stressed out all of the time. I want my happy, smiley, goofy, girl back. I want to see you stuffing your face with cookies and fighting me for the last piece of pizza.” You laughed and nodded. “If going home helps bring that back, I’m all for it. And I’m sorry I’ve been absent...I should have spent more time with you.”
“It’s okay...I know you're busy.”
“Thats not an excuse though...”
You kissed him softly and smiled. “I think-I think I want to go home tonight.”
He nodded and nuzzled your cheek with his nose. “Then we will get on a plane tonight.”
“We?”
“I cancelled the last few shows of the tour...you're more important. I want to be home with you...I want to make sure youre okay. I want us to get back to where we were. If I have to take some time off, then thats worth it to me.”
You smiled but shook your head. “But the fans?”
“They will understand...”
“Harry.”
“(y/n) Its not negotiable.... We are going home.”
You nodded. “Let’s go home then.”
---
This was a request. Idk how I feel about it yet lol
xoxo
143 notes · View notes
agentsoftie · 4 years
Text
Chasing Cars ( C.M )
summary: you have a full on mental breakdown and penelope is there when you have it. her being the expressive person she is tells everyone leading for emily to get mad, and you to understand some feelings
a/n: this is a whole thing. so prepare yourself. also thanks elle and @anepiphany for helping out with this one!
warnings: mental breakdown, swearing (a lot of it), angry emily, heartbreak, basically angst
pairing: hotch x (fem) reader : emily x (fem) reader : rossi (platonic) x reader
song: chasing cars
tagging: @thestrawberrygirl, @marshmallowtraver, @ghostly-angelic, @criminalmindsmoodrn, @yesimaunicorn​
Remember to like and reblog!! And leave feedback!!
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Today was not the day. Not the day to have fun, not the day to mess around, not the day to do anything, and yet here we were. Walking into the FBI, a place filled with bad things. And in that sense, enough horrible, terrible, and mortifying things to make an angel frown. This whole week was not going well for you. In fact, it was like your life just decided to turn on you when everything was going just your way. First, your dog died, then it was the 5th year anniversary of your brother’s tragic death. And not to mention your anxiety had been getting worse and worse ever since your best friends Emily’s death, and then resurrection. Oh and the fact that you’re 99% sure that the guy you love, hates you. Yeah, that doesn’t help your case either.
“You’re late.” You hear someone say in a very demeaning stern voice while you rush through the 2 glass doors that protect the outside world from all of the horrors. “Oh shit, sorry Hotch,” You murmur while quickly stumbling to your desk as if you were late for class. You spilt all your files on your desk and then plopped down in the chair as if it were nothing. You put down and debated on falling asleep, but then remembering that your boss would scold you more than he already has, and who would like that.
Penelope happened to be walking by your desk at this time. Everyone else was to busy to notice you, but she did. “Hey Y/N! Can you come with me real quick.” She said while tapping your desk. “What, I- yeah.” You say after jolting your head up and getting up. You followed her into her so-called “bat cave” until you asked why she called you in here. “So, why did you call me in here?” All she did was point to an extra chair and say sit, which you gladly did.
“You’ve been acting strange lately, almost like a different person. So spill.”
“Spill what?”
“Your feelings Y/N. Tell me everything. Because clearly no one cares enough to ask, except me of course. And it’s good to get your feeling out, no matter what they are. And that means I want you to lay everything on me. Make me your free therapist. Tell me all of your problems, all of them.”
You were trying to hold back your tears, you really were. “Penelope”' You said trying to catch your breath. “I just cant anymore. Everything is getting, so hard, and I just. I don’t know what to do. I can’t think straight anymore. And it’s like every day I’m failing, miserably. No matter how hard I try, or will ever try, Hotch will always resent me. I mean, he HATES me Penelope, HATES!! And you know what, I love him. I love it so much and he hates me and I just don’t know what to do. I try to be good enough for him, but everything I do is just, it’s not enough!”
At this point, you were balling. It was like a waterfall. “And did you know that my dog Honey dies 2 days ago? You didn’t do you. No one did! No one does! No pays and fucking attention to me, and I know that that’s pathetic but I am a human being too, I need attention and affection! And I understand that I shouldn’t get my personal life mixed up in work, but literally everyone fucking does it!! In some goddamn way, in some goddamn time, we’ve all fucking done it! But if I do it, I’m being a bad person, an attention seeker, a brat! I’m not a fucking brat Penelope! And you know what, I’m done with people treating me like a fucking doormat! Just because I smile people assume they can treat me like absolute garbage! LIke trash! And you know what! I don’t even know why I smile! I’m not fucking happy! I haven’t been happy for a while! You see this smile, ha, yeah its fucking fake. It’s all fucking fake! Ive gotten at a point where this stupid fucking smile is a reflex, I don’t want it to be a fucking reflex, Penelope!”
At this point, you didn’t even have full control over what you were saying. It was all just coming out, and you just couldn’t stop. “God and my best fucking friend died! Haha, and then she came fucking back like it was nothing! And of course, I didn’t say anything, but oh my fucking god! People just leave, and when they come back, they act like it's nothing. Did you know that today is the 5th year anniversary of my brother’s death? Yeah, this is why I’m late. BUt did Hotch give me a second to explain that I was at his grave, no, he fucking did-”
You were cut off by the door opening. “Hey! We heard some yelling here, is everything okay?” JJ says while looking at the mess that is you.
“Uh, yeah,” You say while wiping all the tears off your face. “We were, just um watching The Notebook, and well you know,”
“Oh okay,” She says in a sense of relief, “Also Y/N, everyone is asking for you to bring some coffee since we ran out of it here.”
“Uh, yeah okay.” You get up and leave like nothing just happened. Penelope was still processing everything you said so she was not paying attention to the fact that you were gone. You quickly grab your coat, purse, and keys and head out.
Penelope was still in shock due to everything that just happened. “Penelope, are you okay?” JJ asks.
“Yes, but no! But yes, ahh, okay. You know what, just get everyone in the briefing room.”
“We have a case? Shouldn’t we wait for Y/N to come back?”
“Yes, well no. God! Just get everyone in there, I have some very important news.”
“Babygirl, why are we here?” Derek says after everyone’s in the briefing room.
“Yeah Garcia, if this isn’t a case, you guys need to get back to work,” Hotch says.
“Oh but this is a case. A very severe one. How much time do we have?” she says while looking at the clock, “Okay 12 minutes should be enough.”
“Enough for what?” Spencer asked, trying to understand what was going on.
“Hush my sweet child let me talk. Uh, okay how does one do this?”
“Do what?” Emily yells.
“Let me think Emily! Okay, our dear friend and teammate Y/N, has been going through some shit and you guys, we, us, are not helping. The poor girl goes through shit every day and we don’t see a thing. Some profilers you all are. And I mean Emily, you’re her best friend! You should have known this!”
“Babygirl calm down. Why are you getting so mad?” Derek asks.
“I’m not mad! Well, I am, but you guys are not seeing the main point here! We’ve all been treating this poor helpless innocent girl like crap! And she can’t even go to her boss because he hates her!”
“I don’t hate Y/N!” Hotch yells trying to defend himself.
“You kinda do Hotch,” Spencer says, causing Hotch to give him a death wish.
“You guys!! I’m scared of her! She needs us! Her dog died yesterday and her brother's death anniversary is today! She’s hurting and we’re making her get coffee for god sakes!! And speaking of coffee, she’s most likely getting out of her car right now, so everyone acts normal, but not. Now scatter!” Penelope says while urging her hands. And with that everyone was out.
Everyone went back to their offices except for Rossi, he went into Hotch’s office. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Hotch yells at him. “Because that’s something for you to tell everyone. That’s something you tell her Aaron! You’re gonna have to accept the fact that you feel this was sooner or later, and I’m hoping sooner. And when you do, you’re going to have to tell her. And then apologize for all the shit you’ve done to her, and then if she wants, comfort her. And with that, she’s here. So for god sakes tell her.”
“But what if she says the opposite?” Hotch asks while Rossi is halfway out the door.
“You deal with it, and move on,”
“Here you all go!” You say while walking up to them. “One hot chocolate for Spencer. An iced coffee for miss Garcia and Jareau. One pumpkin spice latte for Mr. Clean, and a-” You were cut off by a very mad Emily. “Y/N we need to talk. Privately.” You couldn't tell why she was mad, but she was definitely pissed about something. Honestly everyone was off but you just couldn't tell why.
You both walked into the briefing room and before you could say anything she yelled at you, well not yell, but expressed loudly. “Why!” She asked. You were confused, as anyone would be. “What?” You answered not understanding anything. “Why did you tell everything to Garcia! Am I not good enough for you! Am I not your friend anymore? Because I swear Y/N if that's the case then I don't know why I even came back.Because you what, when i\I came back I thought that you out of everyone would trust me.”
“Oh really! Emily, you left! You were gone! And didn’t even bother to tell me, your best fucking friend!!”
“Okay, you know what Y/N, yes I was gone! But I did for my safety! I did it four all of our safety!”
“Emily, we could have helped you! You didnt have to go halfway around the fucking world!”
“No Y/N you don't understand, and never will!! But you what, all that time that I was in France I couldn't stop thinking about you! About what you were doing! About how you were! And you know what I still feel that way! I want to be with you! You’re my best fucking friend! But you don't tell me SHIT!! WHY!! You're gonna tell Penelope but no me!! Me!! And Penelope out of all people!! Y/N if you’re hurting you should have come to me!! I've been through this!! I am going through this!!”
“Why cant you realize that you can fucking come to me!!! I mean did do something fuking wrong?! Y/N, I'm asking you. “ You didn’t answer, how were you supposed to. You were still taking everything in and honestly none of it made sense. Was she mad, was she concerned. All you could tell was that there were tears running down your face and you didn't know how to stop it. You tried to breathe but you just couldn’t. “Y/N! God, whatever. Just know that you probably hate me right now, but I'll always be there for you.”
And with that she was out. She walked out of the room without looking back, or maybe she did, you just didn't see. This was too complicated for you to understand. Ha, and you were a profiler for god sakes. You wanted to run out but before you could you heard the door open. You didn’t look up because you were too ashamed to face Emily with all the tears running down your face. But suddenly you felt an arm on your shoulder. You turned around to see that shadow of a tall man that glared over you.
“Hotch?” You asked quietly. “Y/N,” he said looking down at you. You still hadn’t faced him in the eye. You couldn't, you were a mess and you couldn't let him of all people see you like this. Although when you think about it, if you like him, shouldn't he see you like this. You being the real, true, authentic Y/N. “Hotch, I, can explain.” You say while snifiling, his hands still on you. “No, let me explain.”
“Ever since the day you came here, I’ve been a terrible friend, boss, and all around human being. I’ve treated you like a child, and you're not one. You’re an exceptional agent and I'm so proud and grateful to have you on my team. And the fact that i keep making your life probably miserable, yeah, ha, im so fucking sorry Y/N. It’s just that, I'm scared. Scared of truly accepting my feelings of you. After Haley, I just can’t risk it. And that means I cant have feelings for you.”
“So, I thought that if I treated you worse then I wouldn't feel for you, but I was wrong. You are an amazing, brilliant, gorgeous woman who I just can't not not. The way you act with Jack just, it just makes me wanna marry you! But I was too scared to tell you. And I regret that everyday. I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you and that I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”
Did your boss, Hotch, just say that he loves you. Were you dreaming, was this real? Did you love him back? Of course, I mean you've been pining over him since you came to the BAU, right. He stopped talking for a few seconds, but then he did something unspeakable. He kissed you. And it was in this moment, when you truly realized. You didn’t love Aaron Hotchner. You loved someone else. Have you ever even loved him? You didn’t know. Maybe, the only reason you liked him was because he, well, there was something about him. But we will never know, or at least for now that is.
You pulled away after realizing that you weren’t kissing back. He didn’t seem to notice that small detail. “Hotch, no I can't.” You mutter while looking at him. “What do you mean?” He says confused. “I mean, you can't waltz in here saying that you love me and you’re sorry for the way you treated me and expect everything to be fine. Everything you did, everything you said, all those time and days, yeah they hurt. And you just can't say those 3 words and expect everything to be okay!” You hadn't realized it, but his hands weren't on you anymore, instead they were slowly retracting from you.
“That’s not how this works okay, you really hurt me. And I loved you. If you told me that you had any interest in me in a non-planonical way. I would have said yes. But instead you chose to hurt me and I can’t really forgive you for that.”
“Y/N I… I understand, I'm sorry. I truly am, I hope you can forgive me.” He says while in shock.
“I hope I can too Hotch.” And then suddenly you were out the door. Running down the stairs as if your life depended on it. “Where are you going!” Hotch yelled from the door of the briefing room. “Somewhere over the rainbow!” You said while quickly grabbing your coat from your desk. You realized that she would most likely be getting in her car right now since she wasn't at her desk. So with that knowledge, you sprinted down the stairs since you thought it would be faster, it wasn't.
And look, there she was. Right by her car trying to find the key to unlock it. “Emily!” You yelled while running over to her as fast as your now jelly legs could carry you. “Emily, wait up!!” She heard you this time and looked up to see you running over to her. “Y/N, is everything okay?” She was cut off with a kiss. A soft, tender, sweet kiss, right on the lips. It wasn't too big, but it was big enough. You pulled apart when you realized she wasn't kissing back.
“Y/N I-”
“No, wait, let me. Emily it took me so long to finally understand. Understand that it was you along. You were always there for me when I needed you the most, and I was stupid for not telling you, or realizing. You’re the one who’s opinion I care about the most, not Hotch! You’re the one i wanna see first when i get hurt, not Hotch! You’re the one I wanna see every morning I wake up, not Hotch!! I wanna be with you Em. Because you make me happy like that. You make me wanna be a better person everyday and I need that in my life! I need you in my fucking life Emily! And so I love you! I love you! I fucking love you Emily!”
“Y/N I- what are you saying?”
“I'm saying that I love you! I love you so much! I love you the way Romeo loved Juliet and the way the sun loves the moon!”
“Y/N, I love you too. But not in that way. Um, I'm dating JJ.”
Your heart dropped. You couldn't breathe. All the air was still there, but you couldn't take any of it in without dying. Was this real. For how long? Was it really too late? Why would this happen? Was everything not enough? After everything you had been through, did you really need this. And why did it have to be this? Why couldn't you just be happy for once? Just once!
“Oh,” You say not sure what to say. “That’s um, that's great Em. I’m really happy for you.” And with that, you started heading to the building. “Y/N wait!” She yelled. You just turned around and smiled a half assed smile, but she didn't have to know that. She probably did. How could you have not known. I mean you were a profile for god sakes! That was your job! This is what you do and you can’t even figure shit like this out!
You walked with a moping look and the personality of a dead person. You kept your head down as you dragged your legs up into the BAU. Keeping your head down fearing from someone who might accidentally see your waterfall of tears. You made your way up into the only place where you knew you could go for a hug and comfort. Well, besides the batcave. Rossi’s office. The door was open so you made your way in and immediately shut it causing him to look up in fright.
“Y/N you scared me. Are you okay?” He said while getting up as a reaction of seeing your crying face.
“No Rossi, I'm not.” You say while snifiling. He sat you down on his couch and placed a blanket over you. “What happened my dolce colomba?” The tears started spilling again when you told him everything. You couldn't help but not to. It was impossible. “My sweet sweet child, this looks hard. This is hard. But I want you to always know that I am always gonna be here for you. No matter what. I love you. We all love you.”
“Rossi, what do I do?”
“You just live. Try and see the good in every moment. For instance right now, youre talking with me instead of working on some boring paperwork so think about that. Think about your brother and all the memories you shared. But for now, just live because before you know it all of this will be over and you'll wonder where everything went. So no matter how just live in the moment. Even if it's hard, do it.”
“Living is hard.”
“I know mia dolce colomba, I know. But we do it anyway, It is not like we have a choice. But just alway rember that I will always be here for you. So if you ever wanna go chasing cars, make sure to call me.”
47 notes · View notes
writingbakery · 5 years
Text
“tapewebs”; a series 🕸
hanta sero is just your regular everyday japanese-american immigrant college student, living in the heart of brooklyn. when miles morales collapses on the windowsill of his shitty one bedroom apartment, life gets.... a hell of a lot more interesting 🕷
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[a spiderman! sero au one shot series, featuring class 1-A, hanta sero, miles morales, an assortment of marvel villains, & you, dear reader - the object of one tapespider’s affections ✨]
[pairing; sero x gender neutral reader 🕸]
[warnings; fluff, violence, action, angst, romance, & a lot of tape/spider puns 🕸]
“Sticky Note Origins”
───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────
the city is prettier up high, sero realizes. granted, he wishes he’d come to that conclusion on solid ground, without his feet nervously planted on a skyscraper ledge, but still.
every whip of wind threatens to topple him over, send him careening down into a frenzied spiral of buildings and colors until he meets concrete at the bottom - and he’s supposed to willingly jump.
he wonders if he’ll pass out before his bones meet solid mass, cracking in so many different ways the coroner’ll have to play connect the fragments until he’s a person again.
behind him, an impatient cough sounds, bringing him back to the task at hand. fuck.
you’re probably wondering how he got here. let’s rewind a week.
one week earlier
at ten pm on a friday, the city is in its prime, bustling crowds of people laughing and stumbling through the brightly colorful streets. hanta’s just trying to protect his pad thai & dumplings, hugging the greasy paper bag to his chest as he weaves in and out of the chaos.
a day full of long classes & a quiet shift at the cafe-slash-bookstore halfway between campus and his crap one bedroom apartment leaves him exhausted, shoulders hunched as he makes his way home. nobody ever sees him regardless - the city’s too big for one lanky, always tired beanpole to be much notice.
despite living in brooklyn since he was four, he’s never felt a hundred percent comfortable here - he had an accent right up until he was thirteen, still trips over certain words and customs that don’t exist back home in japan. he’s awkwardly tall, not enough to be a phenomenon but towering over all his family. he just doesn’t quite fit anywhere - too smart and plain to be popular, too boring to be with the jokesters, too awkward for the nerds. he’s been a loner all his life, and while he doesn’t mind too much, he just wishes it was a little easier to belong.
a text rolls across his phone screen as he’s shuffling songs, skipping some j-pop rock song to settle on kendrick lamar as he smiles. you. he couldn’t lie and say he was completely alone, not when he had you in his life.
you were a year younger than him but twice as smart, skipping a year ahead and landing yourself in hanta’s high school freshman english class. the pair of you had just... clicked, from the very first moment he pointed to shakespeare’s likeness on the cover and mocked “what, you egg?!”
your laughter had left him on cloud nine the entire day, and he made it his personal mission to hear that beautiful little giggle at least once a day for the rest of his life.
a lovely friendship had bloomed from there, the two of you joined at the hip - if you were somewhere, hanta was bound to follow & vice versa.
you’d even gotten into the same college, albeit for drastically different majors - he was a biochem/engineering double major, while you were an english/history double major. you were opposite but similar in so many ways, and the way you both completed each other didnt go unnoticed by sero.
you were his puzzle piece, the bits of him he’d never been able to fill easily made whole by your presence.
he could never tell you, however; your friendship was too precious to risk, especially over his dumb, emotional heart.
sending a string of laughing emojis towards the meme you sent, he jogs up the seven flights of dimly lit stairs to his tiny, one bedroom apartment - living in the city wasn’t cheap, & while the elevator was always busted at least he had a doorman, and heat that worked on occasion.
stepping into his apartment, however, he can immediately sense something is wrong; the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, a heavy silence coating the darkness. the air feels wrong, tipsy turvy like the whole place is holding its breath - like something’s on the verge of exploding, catapulting him into chaos and danger.
quietly stepping through the living room, he peeks into the kitchen and bathroom, holding his backpack out like a makeshift weapon - his $200 biology textbook finally going to good use. finding nothing in either dark room, he slowly advances towards his bedroom, carefully measuring every step. at first, the room seems perfectly normal - nothing’s been moved, and it’s just as empty as the rest of his apartment.
and then he sees the blood.
dotting his windowsill in bright, red streaks, the window itself pushed halfway open - but that’s not what stops him in his tracks, eyes so wide it hurts.
spiderman is leaning against his windowsill, covered in blood and panting heavily, one hand held up in an effort to stop hanta in his tracks.
“i need...... help,” he whispers, voice rough and low; hanta’s amazed he can still speak.
he opens his mouth to react, somehow, even steps forward to catch him before screaming like a ten year old girl at a morgue, panic setting in like cold water.
never a dull night in brooklyn.
───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────
once he’s made sure that spiderman - miles, as the young man bleeding all over his $12 walmart carpet supplies - isn’t going to die anytime soon, hanta’s quick to recover from his shock. bustling around his tiny kitchen to make cheap ramen and digging around in his closet to find his mini first aid kit, he’s in full fanboy mode - he’s got posters plastered wall to wall of miles morales on his bedroom walls, for gods sakes. not that he knew it was miles morales, but still.
miles morales is curled up in the fleece blanket hanta’s mom had sent him his second week at college, and he’s totally not freaking out.
he’d had to cancel his nightly facetime call with you, lying about a stomach bug - he hates keeping things from you, but this is just too big and messy and dangerous. he’ll tell you in due time, he promises himself, trying to ease the coil of guilt in his stomach.
“how did you end up on my windowsill, again?” hanta asks, gently pushing the bowl of noodles towards the injured man. he’s got his own pad thai long forgotten in the microwave, more focused on the superhero who’d gotten his ass whooped on his doorstep, so to speak.
“i told you. i’d been watching you for a while - you’re the most promising candidate i have.” miles’ voice is slick with humor, a sort of teasing confidence that’s clear even through the pain.
“which i’m still not understanding - candidate for what? blood services? biology questions? how to make $20 last two weeks??” he knows he’s being childish, too joking for the severity of the situation, but he can’t help it. the neighborhood’s - and his own - hero is sitting in front of him, eating shitty 33¢ ramen from the bodega around the corner, telling him he’s a prime candidate.
“to take the mantle.” all traces of laughter are gone now, miles leaning forward on the table to emphasize his words. “i’ve been doing this long enough to know when to quit. my body’s giving out on me - i got slammed into a wall last week and couldn’t shake the pain till yesterday. before, i’d be fine within an hour. the city needs someone new, young, willing to take the risks.”
hanta’s ears stopped listening the moment he heard quit. “me? are you fuckin’ joking?” he wheezes, coughing his way past the shock. “i get winded walking up to my apartment! an old lady beat me to the c train yesterday! a strong wind could kick my ass!”
miles is either willfully ignoring him or just can’t hear, plowing ahead with his explanation. “you’ve got the perfect build for webswinging, and you’ve got a good heart - you know when to do the right thing and when to step away. leave the rest up to me, and trust me - i know what i’m doing.”
hanta can’t believe his ears, pushing away from the table to pace around his kitchen in panic. “i don’t till you understand, you’ve got the wrong guy - there’s no way i could be spiderman!” his words are falling on deaf ears - miles is standing too, and he doesn’t seem to care about hanta’s impending panic.
“you’ve got to trust me on this, alright? meet me tomorrow, at this address - 12 pm sharp. the city needs you, hanta - hell, i need you. just have a little faith.”
hanta scoffs at that, throwing his hands in the air. “faith?! i met you an hour ago, bleeding all over my windowsill! that’s not exactly the most- hey! where the hell...” there’s nothing but a blanket, a hastily scrawled address, and an empty bowl where miles had sat, leaving hanta alone with his thoughts.
damnit.
───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────
hanta pushes through the crowds of people at eleven am the next morning, half asleep but wired enough to power the whole city - hell, the whole goddamned country. he’s running on no sleep, adrenaline, two redbulls & the guilt of lying to you again, his “stomach bug” keeping him from class. he’d told you he was going to visit his parents for the weekend to recover; your sweet messages in response only made him feel worse.
he’s tossed and turned over this decision a million times & yet, he’s still not sure where he stands - it’s so little information, so much responsibility in so little time. he’s still half convinced he’s being punked, if he’s honest.
and yet, somethings drawing him to the address miles had left him, something deep in his gut that tells him he needs to be there. clearly, miles had seen something he himself is woefully oblivious to, and it couldn’t hurt to find out more.
apple maps leads him to a tiny shed somewhere behind a deli & a nail salon, not too far from his apartment, and he’s completely confused. “stupid gps, probably got me lost,” he whines, leaning against the door of the shed to zoom in on his location.
the pigeons in the alley are the only ones to hear his panicked yelling as he phases right through it, tumbling all the way down a metal chute into the dark unknown.
at least, for ten seconds. he lands on a remarkably soft pad of foam, a glass panel separating him from a brightly lit, fancy looking room lined wall to wall with computers, parts and half made suits, spiderman suits. he doesn’t know where to look first.
a robotic, feminine voice brings him out of his shock, the glass panel lighting up with code and writing.
“please enter your name.” hanta is floored.
“uh.. hanta sero?” the voice trills lightly, before a red grid-like laser scans him head to toe. he’s proud to admit he only squealed in terror once.
“identity confirmed. welcome, hanta.” the panel slides away to allow him access, his careful steps alerting the rest of the room’s computers to light up at his arrival.
“you came. i knew i chose wisely.” miles comes into view slowly, limping heavily as he smiles. it’s almost familiar, like he & hanta have been friends for years; he finds it comforting.
“well, not everyday you get to be spiderman,” hanta jokes, fidgeting a little where he stands. “you gonna fit me for a suit or something?” miles just laughs, shaking his head.
“that comes later. first, we’ve got to get you bitten.”
bitten?
───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────
for the third time in 24 hours, hanta’s screaming like a man who’s just been told he has two days to live.
“you want me to let that thing bite me?! have you lost your mind?!”
miles sighs patiently, holding up the little glass vial to the light; inside, the spider races up and down the glass, an odd orange color to its patterning.
“it’s the only way. no offense, but i saw that lady beat you to the c train. she was like, 85.” hanta’s pouting now, crossing his arms.
“she had a cane and she was agile- hey hey! you keep that thing away from me, so help me god-“
“you’re being dramatic, it’s the size of a pea-“
“that’s a fat ass fuckin’ pea-“
“stay still-“
“i will not- ow! jesus fuck, that thing has tarantula jaws!”
miles carefully shepherds the spider back into the glass, chuckling a little. “it’ll take a moment to cause effect. the original spider was cross-bred with a more agile, lanky species - perfect for your body type. i’m hoping it’ll be most effective in your transition.”
“hoping?” hanta squeaks, staring at the red welt forming on his hand - his visions already starting to blur out, a throbbing pain traveling up his arm.
“well, it’s the first time i’m experimenting with this-“
“you used me as a guinea pig?!”
“it’s perfectly safe! my mentor-“ but hanta’s not listening anymore, the world swimming in front of his eyes before the ground rushes up rapidly to kiss his face.
god. damnit.
when he comes to, he’s wrapped in about half the blankets in brooklyn, a cold compress against his sweaty forehead. he’s burning up, and his elbows hurt for some reason - his skins gone all itchy, and he’d probably kick a pigeon for a glass of water.
sitting up alerts miles to his newly conscious state, the man quickly scanning his vitals with a smaller version of the glass panel hanta’d been fascinated with earlier. “thought you were gonna croak on me. how do you feel?”
“itchy. and my arms hurt.” hanta’s pushing off the blankets as he speaks, attempting to get comfortable - his body feels weird, like he’ll burst out of his skin at any second.
“alright, don’t panic. i need to see how it’s mutated your body. stay still.” miles’ fingers delicately press against his neck, shoulders, before jabbing at his ribs without warning. hanta’s arms shoot up on impulse, a trail of sticky, precise webbing escaping him from his...... elbows?!
“what the fuck, dude what the fuck look at my elbows, they’re all puffy and red i’m gonna die, and the coroner is gonna leak my story to the press and my moms gonna see me in the paper with fucked up elbows-“ hanta may or may not be panicking, poking at the tender, slightly swollen skin around the bends of his arms. miles just rolls his eyes, clearly amused by his antics.
“you’re not going to die. japanese tape spiders shoot webbing from the bends of their eight arms; its a thicker & stronger strain of web. clearly, your elbows are how your body has adjusted.”
“that doesn’t make it better.” hanta’s too busy staring at himself to notice the other changes at first, but slowly, they’re trickling in. heightened eyesight and hearing, an odd balance to his feet he hadn’t had a day ago, even itchier fingertips - making it easier for him to grip flat surfaces, or at least as miles says.
“come on. let’s get you a suit.”
───── ⋆🕸⋆ ─────
a week’s worth of planning & adjusting has led him right here to this rooftop, suited feet firmly balanced on the ledge. he likes his suit, thinks it’s unique - he’d modeled it after the spider who’d blessed him with these powers, orange and black and white [miles sort of thinks it’s ugly, but who cares.] he’d been in & out of the fondly nicknamed “spider-lounge”, getting fitted for his suit & honing his new abilities; he’d also been avoiding you whenever possible.
he couldn’t suck you into this world, not when he was barely comfortable in it himself; he kept promising himself he’d come clean, but the guilt’s eating him alive with every sad look & evening alone you spend.
another impatient cough brings him back to the present, miles sitting in the middle of the roof & watching hanta’s nervous stalling. “you’re going to have to jump eventually, you know,” he calls, and it takes everything in him not to turn tail and run.
he has a duty, a responsibility now, and he doesn’t take that lightly. he thinks of you, sitting in your ratty little apartment off campus and remembers that your safety is all but in his hands now; he’s got to protect the city, for your sake at least.
“i absolutely will not hesitate to kick you off this rooftop,” miles threatens, but its empty - they both know hanta needs to do this himself.
one step back, then two, the nerves racing up his spine as he prepares himself to meet cold concrete [a dramatic thought, miles would catch him far before he reaches ground. a bad knee wouldn’t stop him from that.] he says a silent prayer to every god he’s ever heard of and closes his eyes, taking a step forward into the air-
and trips over the ledge, falling ass over heels into the air. nice.
the rushing wind only heightens his panic for a moment, before one arm snaps up to blindly shoot into the air; his spider sense kicks in from there, aiming without even realizing and latching onto a nearby ledge. he swings aimlessly for a moment before finding a new ledge, then a railing; slowly, he finds a rhythm.
he’s soaring through the city before he realizes, laughing at the sharp roar of the wind in his ears - he feels like he’s flying, weightless as a bird. the only thing he can think of is you, how much you’d love this.
one day, he’ll take you webswinging. one day.
for now, he relishes in the fact that he’s one step closer to being brooklyn’s - & new york’s - new spiderman, fresh faced & determined to bring peace to the city.
he’s going to do it for you, even if it kills him.
442 notes · View notes
bulletproofscales · 4 years
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Could you do a Yoonseok fic where they are uni teachers and they teach in the same room? Like when Yoongi's class finishes, Hoseok's class comes in after and Yoongi has a bad habit of overstaying to get a glimpse of the other cute teacher and they just end up falling in love somehow?
– hello!! i dont know why i had such a hard time writting this request???? like its simple its cute, its lovely. i just struggled so much to find a direction to take it form. so i really hope this fufilled your vision it came out supper fluffy!! i didnt make it feederism because the pormpt didnt specify, theres like hints to a chubby yoongi if you squint . anyways enjoy!!!
3.8k words
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30115707
Yoongi loves literature. 
He’d go as far to say, literature is his favorite thing in the world. 
No, he hasn’t read fiction since he was in highschool, and he hasn’t read fiction voluntarily ever.
What’s that got to do with anything?
When the university offered Yoongi this job as the professor in Thermodynamics, they had assured him his schedule wouldn’t clash with the other Calc II classes he gave during the week; always with a break in between. Which meant, the professor always has at least 2 hours in between his classes to use for research purposes. 
Yes… Research purposes. 
LIsten he hadn’t meant for it to get this far. Yoongi had only curiously stayed as he saw the new professor who was replacing the old lady who gave World Contemporary Literature after his class. The man looked young, about his age, delicate complexion, angelic face. 
His name is Jung Hoseok, and Yoongi had only talked to him for a couple of minutes, welcoming him to the university before leaving for his office. Though he was later very frustrated to find out, he could barely get any work done with his mind playing unhelpful reruns of his exchange with professor Hoseok. The most reasonable thing would be to try and not cross paths with him again for the sake of his investigation, right?
Yoongi is not nearly as strong-willed as he needs to be to accomplish that. 
In fact his time at the World Contemporary Literature class, only prolonged after that encounter. Waiting until the class was full to make his leave, or sometimes waiting until Hoseok started the class, or sometimes even staying for a bit at the front row before leaving. By now, his two bi-weekly classes of Contemporary Literature had become part of his routine. Staying at the back of the class where he admired the young man, as he walked around giving the class diligently; impressively capturing a large number of students who were now actively interested in it. 
Yoongi had been captured, in a different way. 
“You’re staying over this class too?” Hoseok’s voice is soft spoken, not upset but just lightly accusatory. It’s been weeks, of course he noticed Yoongi staying over every single class. And as startled as Yoongi is, he still considers himself lucky that the professor doesn’t sound annoyed. 
“I just–I really…” Think Yoongi, think of anything. “I’ve just really been trying to get into literature.” He manages to smile softly through his lie. And it seems to work, because Hoseok’s expression is widening and then grinning in excitement. 
“Who would have thought!” He beams cheerfully. “Well you’re free to come as many times as you want. Though I might have to start testing you along with the rest of my students?” Hoseok jokes, or at least Yoongi hopes he is joking. He just laughs it off and goes to his usual seat in the back, where he will be doing nothing except staring as professor Hoseok gave his class; without actually registering anything that’s being said. 
Lucky for Yoongi, the test never comes. But him and the literature professor grow closer, Hoseok starts inviting him out to have their lunch break together; since he knows for a fact Yoongi gave his class first thing in the morning and then stayed until near noon in Hoseok’s lecture. And just like had accepted defeat before, the older agrees without a second doubt.
In comparison to his typical lunches stuffed in the Sociology department with Namjoon and Seokjin, those bi-weekly 40 minutes he spends with Hoseok are… so refreshing. He remembers fearing that the literature professor would ask Yoongi what he thought of the class, but that wasn’t the case at all. 
Long forgotten were his heated debates about deeply rooted issues within humanity over lunch. Now Yoongi couldn’t wait until it was wednesday or friday, and he could just converse with Hoseok. Of course it started out like it typically would, professors talk, complaining about students, complaining about their superiors, how they got into teaching. But somehow Hoseok deemed him worthy, and just opened himself up for Yoongi. Nothing too dramatic, but the engineering professor found himself walking down the campus and being able to register what Hoseok’s favorite sitting spot was, under what specific tree; because he had told him. Or pushed himself to get weird stares by his colleagues for grabbing one donut too many because he recognized the strawberry filling ones that were Hoseok’s all time favorites and was considering dropping them off to him. 
It had been half a year, and by now, Yoongi could say he had opened up to Hoseok as well. He was more than happy to take his role as a listener to everything the younger had to say. As useless as it was, Yoongi would soak it up even when he didn’t mean to; and he had come to accept that. But, Hoseok didnt let it happen, always attentive, always considerate; asking Yoongi’s input into anything their conversation had decided to settle on. Asking for Yoongi’s favorite spots on campus, or what donuts did he reach for first when they brought some into the professors’ room. 
And Yoongi… he soaked up all that attention Hoseok gave him, too. 
It didn’t take long until they learnt the other’s schedule, sometimes using their own breaks to stop by the other’s class; just to see one another during the day. He’ll never forget the first time Hoseok came to visit as Yoongi was finishing one of his own classes, and widened at the different graphs and drawings that took over all the chalkboard. 
They were definitely friends, of course they were by now, but Yoongi couldn’t help but think that their friendship had something more special to it. Maybe it was the way the older just felt safe and soothed whenever he was talking with Hoseok, or the way Hoseok didn’t shy away from showing how much he enjoys Yoongi’s company. 
They were friends but they treated each other, just a little bit softer than the rest of their friends.
Which didn’t have to mean anything, of course. Different people have different dynamics and it just so happens Hoseok takes out the gentler side of the engineering professor. Just like it also happens to be Hoseok the one who takes out all the butterflies caged in Yoongi’s chest.
Well… maybe this different dynamic does mean something… To Yoongi at least; and he has come to accept that fact. He had reached an age where he didn’t really think he could get a crush again, yet here he is. 
Considering his feelings, he had felt a little hesitant to initiate anything with Hoseok outside their work hours; a little voice in his head telling him not to abuse the younger’s friendliness because of his own ill intentions. Hoseok made him happy as is, and he should be content with that. 
Surprisingly it’s the literature professor who, during the peak of exam season, offers to hang out and correct exams together. The little voice reminded Yoongi of his ‘ill intentions’ , but, like he keeps saying: he is simply a little weaker when it comes to Hoseok. And that first time, getting to see Hoseok outside their university, at the doorstep of his apartment which he had organized very last minute, casual clothes, beer pack in hand, gentle smile on his face. Yoongi feels himself fall in love all over again. 
Yeah… He is in love, by now he had come to accept it. 
Maybe he should be nervous, but he wasn’t, not really. How could he be when Hoseok had become his safe space? No amount of romantic feelings could change that. 
They laugh, they drink, they revise exams, they drink again, laugh some more; Yoongi finds out Hoseok is a lightweight. Third beer bottle is halfway done as the literature professor slurredly tries to write feedback onto the back of an exam.  
“You doing alright there?” Yoongi can’t help the amusement and endearment in his voice. 
All he gets is a slurred hum, and that’s all the response Yoongi needs. Still grinning as he stands up and comes back with a glass of water to Hoseok, who seems to be in some sort of trance staring at the universe. “Drink up, handsome.” He swears it was meant to sound teasing, but a blush betrays Yoongi spreading on his cheeks. 
Hoseok doesn’t seem to dwell on it, thank fuck; rather focuses on drinking his water slowly and in a way that is too endearing for Yoongi’s heart to bare. He watches as Hoseok downs the glass, trying hard not to focus on the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down, stop staring at his neck in general, creep, and rather rubb the younger’s back. 
He finishes the glass and he leans his head on the table groaning. 
“I think you’ve done enough grading for tonight.” He chuckles enamoured. “Think you can take a ride home?” Hoseok still has his cheek squished against the table and eyes fully closed when he nods. “Ok, Seok, up.” He instructs softly, squatting down as his hands reach for Hoseok’s middle. Surprisingly cooperative, Yoongi manages to get the younger buckled up in the passenger seat of the car looking dazedly out the window. 
It's… pleasant, Yoong thinks. The silence is always comfortable with them, and he gets to drive around the deserted city with simply the knowledge that Hoseok is by his side. He makes sure to take his liberties stealing glances at the younger, his face angelical even when confusedly staring into nothingness. 
“Here we are.” Yoongi feels the need to announce it given they’ve stopped and the drunk man hadn’t made any sign of moving… He still hasn’t. “Uhm… Hoseok?” He offers trying his best not to smile a little amused at the situation. 
It looks like it physically costs effort for him to open his lips to speak. “Can you make sure… I actually go to bed?” His eyes barely meet Yoongi’s, quickly glancing somewhere else. It could be the older’s mind playing tricks on him, but even with the white street lights Hoseok’s cheeks still manage to have a beautiful pink tint. He is blushing, and it only makes Yoongi’s smile spread wider. 
“You don’t seem like the type of drunk to cause any trouble.” He questions with a smile that already gives away his answer to Hoseok’s request. 
“No, but I’ll fall asleep halfway into my apartment.” The younger man manages to smile lazily, dainty hand settles on his shoulder. And Yoongi feels himself swallowing thickly, no person should be allowed to look this good when they’re this pathetically drunk. 
“That adds up.” He chuckles getting out of the car and turning around to open Hoseok’s door for him. “Look at that, you unbuckled your own belt. Impressive.” Yoongi teases as he takes Hoseok’s hand to help him stand. 
“I’m drunk, not 5.” His playful tone and little smile makes the idea of Hoseok being annoyed at him less convincing. He is taller than Yoongi, yet he feels so much smaller when he is tiredly leaning his weight onto the older, a protective arm wraps around the literature professor as they walk inside Hoseok’s apartment complex. 
Yoongi tries his hardest not to blush when the doorman eyes the two oddly and Hoseok mumbles a sleepy: “He’s with me.” with his head buried deep into the engineering professor’s shoulders. And keeps it there all through the elevator ride… and all  through their slow walk around the hallway… and it’s still there as Hoseok clumsily tries to type in the security code for his door. 
He doesn’t want it to go away, the weight of the younger’s head on his shoulder giving him a sense of pride that makes Yoongi want to swell his chest up. But Hoseok keeps failing to type in his code, with his nose buried into Yoongi’s neck. 
“I think you might need to look at the keyboard to actually type the code.” His hand rubs up and down Hoseok’s side, with a smile that’s too fond; though the younger can’t see from where his head is resting. 
Hoseok groans. “Can’t we just be comfy?” The older specifically loves the way Hoseok assumes this position is comfortable for the two of them. 
“Wouldn’t we be much more comfortable on your bed?” Yoongi swears he didn’t mean to say that. And he knows if the other were sober, he definitely wouldn’t brush past it. 
Drunk Hoseok, however; he hums as if thinking it through “Yeah… We would be more comfy there…” He sounds so serious about it, like he was actually considering just staying here for the rest of the night, comfortably settled against Yoongi; the older can’t help giggling. Too cute. 
“Put the code, then.” He urges, big hand squeezing at where it is settled on Hoseok’s waist. 
It’s his first time going into the literature professor’s apartment, it is very neat, even if it’s filled to the brim with books. Yoongi tries to take in as much as he can, while still helping Hoseok balance himself as he takes off his shoes and coat: the hanged pictures, the bookshelves, the toys. Hoseok owns toys: stuffed animals and figurines adorning his couch and bookshelves; Yoongi is a little stunned as they walk by. He never would have guessed. 
“Room is at the end of the hallway.” Hoseok mumbles, not only his head falling back on the older’s shoulder, but his arms wrap around Yoongi’s middle. 
Right… He has to make sure Hoseok gets to bed. 
There’s a knot at Yoongi’s stomach, but he nods; slowly walking towards the closed door. Despite seeming impossible, his room has more bookshelves, bed adorned with a few more odd looking plushies. It’s so Hoseok, the older can help his heart as it does a little flip. The younger settles on his bed, sitting down before letting his back fall. Yoongi doesn’t know what to do with himself; staring feels a bit inappropriate, yet he doesn’t know if leaving him in such a state is much of an option. 
“Should I…-” 
“I just sleep in underwear.” 
They both speak at the same time. Yoongi’s cheeks blush a furious red, Hoseok seems unfazed. He already managed to get the younger to bed. After all this time he had meant Yoongi had to tuck him in?!
“O–Oh, okay.” He doesn’t know what else to say. Then, similar to a toddler, Hoseok raises up his arms. It takes Yoongi a full second to realize; and when he does, his face gets simpossibly redder. With timid hands, he slides Hoseok’s shirt off his torso delicately. Yoongi is pretty sure he isn’t breathing, but he can’t bring himself to do so, the moment too fragile for him to possibly ruin it. The little voice in his head tells him it’s immoral to stare, but he does anyway; admiring Hoseok’s lightly tanned, slim body. 
It seems he is Yoongi only one of the two with the professor-chubs, huh. 
His blatant staring is interrupted by Hoseok popping his torso heavily onto the bed, legs extending forward in Yoongi’s direction. The older feels his heart stop completely. Yoongi is so thankful that Hoseok isn’t sitting upright so he can’t see the tremble of his hands as they hover above the button of his jeans. 
He has to hurry, otherwise Hoseok will get suspicious, and he’ll notice Yoongi making things weird. 
He feels like a teenager all over again.
He undoes the button, slowly pulling the zipper down. Yoongi’s slim fingers slide barely underneath the waistband of his jeans and start tugging down. He tries his best to be gentle, but with Hoseok’s dead weight on the bed it’s a little hard; college professors aren’t known for their strength. So he makes the younger’s body rock back and forth on the bed until he gets the pants out of the pool by his calves and finally takes it out. 
Huh, Yoongi totally would have considered Hoseok a boxer’s guy.
He somehow feels he shouldn’t say that outloud, or shouldn’t hint at paying attention to Hoseok’s underwear at all. 
Or maybe, he is just overestimating drunk Hoseok. 
“All done, you just need to wash your teeth.” He says simply instead, and the man plopped down gorans dramatically. His thighs even clench at the loudness of it, not that Yoongi was staring. 
“I need to get up?! Again?” He looks up at Yoongi with a disbelieved expression, like suddenly brushing your teeth was the most ridiculous idea anyone could propose. Yoongi has to hold back a laugh. “Why didn’t you make me go brush before I laid down!?” He sounds so insulted but his lips have the softest pout to them. 
“You plopped on the bed before I got the chance to, genius.” Yoongi finds himself rolling his eyes, all the tension that had accumulated in his body minutes before had dissipated. Even with so much of the expanse of Hoseok’s sin staring back at him, so much so quickly that Yoongi had never gotten to see; the man in front of him is still the safest place. “Come on, Seokie, up.” It feels like a dejavu from getting him out of Yoongi’s apartment. 
Hoseok’s hands are so dainty in his own, he pulls him up gently; chests bumping together softly. Soft chuckles as their noses brush, Yoongi can feel his own adoring smile. “Careful.” He mumbles, his hands squeezing into Hoseok’s. All the response he gets is a grumble, eyes barely opened as they stare directly at Yoongi, shamelessly. 
As sleepy as his gaze is, and as cute as the pout on his lips is, Yoongi can’t help it but feel somewhat intimidated, there’s something blatant about the way the younger is looking at him. And even if he can’t put a name to it, it still manages to make Yoongi shiver the slightest bit. 
He wastes no more time of Hoseok being forced to stand and rather guides him slowly towards the bathroom. Graceful Hoseok, elegant, diligent inside the classroom, that same man is looking down at his feet with a concentrated pout and frown as he takes heavy steps following Yoongi. It’s endearing enough for a giggle to slip out past his lips. 
The bathroom is only a little cramped but, it’s not like it matters; Yoongi was already holding Hoseok close to him already. Lets the younger lean against him as he has to balance his sleepy legs into picking up toothbrush and toothpaste. Yoongi allows himself to stare, even if it’s quiet and obvious he is doing so. There’s something so domestic about the sight, he can’t tear his eyes away; exposing himself through the evident adoration in his stare. 
Hoseok doesn’t pay him any attention, washing his teeth with sleepy long blinks. Only noticing Yoongi through the mirror once he is washing his lips, sleepy as he straightens back up, and when he is back to leaning against the older, he turns his head to face him. Face looking sleepy and ethereal as ever. 
And Yoongi must have gotten too caught up staring at the sleepy glimmer of Hoseok’s eyes because nothing could have prepared him for the slow, soft meeting of the younger’s lips on his. 
Hoseok kisses him like he is the most precious thing in the world; a gentle peck that makes his eyes flutter close relaxed. Not Yoongi though, his eyes are wide like plates until the younger separates. 
His mouth opens and closes a few times before he manages to speak. “Why….Why did you do that?” Yoongi has a hard time finding his own voice, opting for a soft whisper. Part of him thinking this was all just an elaborate hallucination. 
“I didn’t want to do it with bad breath!” He whines like he was being antagonized for doing something completely normal; and not kissing your friend/coworker. 
Yoongi doesn’t know what to do with himself, or with the Hoseok laying against his body, staring at him expectantly. He feels his face begin to heat up with what is most probably a deep blush. “Uhm… Well I appreciate that.” He tries to say as neutral as possible, getting his hold back on Hoseok to get him to his bed. 
The younger is pliant in Yoongi’s hold, letting himself be dragged as he tiredly lets his head fall against Yoongi’s chest. “You appreciated the kiss too though, right?” Hoseok’s voice is gentle, unsure. And it probably doesn’t help that the older one takes a second to reply; too busy trying to control the tug at his heartstrings. 
He is back to guiding the younger out of his own bathroom, only replying once he manages to set Hoseok down on the bed as gracefully as he can; only then, when worried self conscious eyes are staring up at Yoongi. 
“I do appreciate it, so much.” He mumbles gently with a gummy smile spreading his lips softly. And Hoseok looks so visibly relieved by this, it earns a chuckle from the older. Yoongi is leaning over, hand pressed to the pillow so close to Hoseok’s soft locks it could just– fuck it. 
He runs his hands through the younger’s hair, just to see the way his eyes close relaxed by it. “I’ll get going, yeah?” A little voice in his head urges him to not leave Hoseok’s side, to stay until he gets another kiss from those addictively soft lips. 
But another, more rational, voice tells him he’ll have all the time in the world to do that. 
Hoseok looks unconvinced though, it takes an endeared smile and a kiss at his temple for him to look somewhat pleased. “Fine.” Yoongi has to hold himself back from leaning to peck the pout off his lips. “Will I see you tomorrow?” 
“Text me when you wake up.” 
Yoongi can feel how different everything is from the moment he watches Hoseok walk towards him at the little campus cafe. His eyes are a little groggy stil, and a pout is still on his lips; he looks like he has a hangover, basically. 
And Yoongi is still so, so stupidly enamoured by this man. 
“Morning.” 
“How are you so upbeat? You aren’t even a morning person.” Hoseok grumbles, obviously cranky, taking a seat beside Yoongi instead of infront of him. Their shoulders touch as well as their thighs. 
“I know this may come as a surprise to you, but not all of us get drunk from a couple of beers.” Yoongi teases softly, turning to side eye him. 
“I’m not sorry.” He smiles turning to face the older. Their noses brush similarly to how they did last night. Now it should be different though, the morning fills the small cafe of busy people trying to get on with their day, not private, not imitate, not one bit romantic. They don’t need it to be, though; they managed to fall in love in the simplest of ways; through Yoongi’s obvious love for literature.
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laceymorganwrites · 4 years
Text
Proud of you
Word Count: 1,632
Pairing: Oikawa x fem!reader
Warnings: swearing
A/N: Oikawa ponders About how he deserves you and what went wrong in his past relationships when you decide to Show him how amazing he is
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Oikawa didn´t want to get into a relationship after being dumped by his ex. He hated to admit it, but it depressed him more than he liked. What was it even worth?
Yeah, he´d see a cute girl, work his magic and get her. But what for? For him opening up, sharing his secrets and fears, for him allowing intimacy and for her not to give a shit. It was always this way.
And they all said they were such big fans of him, what a great player he was. And yet volleyball was always the reason they broke up with him. Because they couldn´t grasp the great amount of his life it made out. Maybe it would come as a shock to some people that Oikawa really did not like being in a relationship. He always put in so much effort and it was all for nothing, he went out of his way to organize romantic dates only to listen to his girlfriend at the time complain to him about how he played too much volleyball. He was so sick of it and so he decided not to waste a thought on girls ever again.
But you know what they say, love hits you when you least expect it.
You were with him for about half a year now, which to him was impressive. How come you didn´t run yet? He was barely there to spend time with you, sometimes he caught himself deliberately spending more time on training so that he had to postpone one of your dates. It wasn´t because he was sadistic, he really did love you, but something inside of him was still awaiting the rejection.
Something inside of him was waiting to be hurt yet again, because there was no way in hell someone as perfect as you would stay with him.
You were currently sitting on his couch together, watching some movie you didn´t pay attention to. He seemed off lately, like something was wrong and you spent your days trying to figure out just what it was. It wasn´t like Oikawa to be so much in his head, sure there were always phases, but they never lasted so long. You were really worried about him, but you didn´t want to annoy him. After all you blamed yourself for him distancing himself from you, you didn´t know any better, you thought he didn´t like you anymore and you couldn´t blame him. After all he was busy with volleyball, you were just distracting him from that. Maybe it would be better for him if he never was with you.
But you forcefully pushed those thoughts to the side, if you were the problem you´d simply better yourself and try to be the best girlfriend in the world because it was what he deserved. He was too sweet and thoughtful to be so down.
“Tooru?” you quietly asked, watching him shift his gaze to you, a soft smile on his face.
“Yes, my love?” he responded, pulling you closer to him.
“Can I come to your next game?” you asked, hoping he wouldn´t shut you out of this part of his life.
You were always afraid to ask this question since you didn´t want to control every single aspect of his life, you didn´t want to make him feel bad. You always thought that he would think you being at one of his games would be like you scolding him.
“Hm...I don´t know, (Y/N), I don´t want you to be bored” he thought out loud, sighing heavily. Every time he took some of his former girlfriends to games, no matter whether they claimed to be his fan or not, they´d always be bored and leave halfway through. And those who stayed just complained to him afterwards about not spending enough time with them.
Oikawa just wanted to have someone to celebrate with that wasn´t his team, as stupid and simple as that sounded.
“I could never get bored of watching you” you smiled at him, watching his cheeks flush.
He chuckled, kissing your forehead slightly, only with you did his heart flutter like it did the first day he saw you, you made him feel so loved and cared for and all he wanted to do was to give that back to you three times more, but he felt that if he did that he´d scare you away. He knew he was too much.
“You flatter me too much… listen, you can come if you want to, but don´t expect too much, okay?” he told you, maybe it wouldn´t be so bad if he told you that from the beginning.
But he couldn´t help it but get more nervous the closer the game got.
He didn´t want to see your bored face, it would only get him down. And neither did he want to see you leave in the middle of it.
However he didn´t have time to worry about this right now, he was leaving early to meet up with his team and train before the game started.
You got up only a little bit after he left and instantly started preparing yourself for the game.
After getting dressed you threw his jacket on. He gave it to you on your first date when you were cold, the thought always brought a smile to your face, Oikawa maybe seemed like the biggest asshole on the outside but on the inside he was a softie who always gave you his jackets at every opportunity he had.
Before leaving and checking your bag for everything you needed you made sure to pack the milk bread you made for Tooru. You wanted to surprise him with it after the game and had to hide it away from him before he could see it.
Luckily you caught the train you had to take to get there in time, but it was more cramped than you bargained for. You didnt´t know the way so you just followed the crowd, fortunately the volleyball fans and spectators were very distinctive. Somehow you felt more excited now, all of this was so special to you and people´s good moods and the whole great atmosphere just caught onto you.
You had to push some people away to get to the first row, but it was worth it, you wanted to see your boyfriend after all.
And when you saw him step on the court you felt like you were cheering the loudest and the game hasn´t even started yet, it was only the warm up.
When Oikawa spotted you, his heart did a little leap, he couldn´t contain his big smile as he saw you in his jacket. Somehow they always looked better on you than on him. You were looking so happy, it made him happy too. Maybe all his worries were just bullshit.
You blew him a kiss as you saw that he noticed you too and he caught it, blowing one right back.
You could see his teammates groaning at that, making you giggle. So what if you were the cheesy romantic couple? How could you play down your feelings when Oikawa Tooru was your boyfriend? It wasn´t possible.
And Oikawa, well, he was always a drama queen.
When the game officially started you felt yourself get more tense and your eyes were glued on the field, okay they were glued on your boyfriend but who was counting?
You tried your hardest to keep up the cheering with the fangirls, it was nice knowing you weren´t the only one who cared about him as a player, it was nice to see that other people supported him too.
During the game you realized how much you loved watching him play, how much you came to adore the sport, every time they scored you could feel a rush of excitement go through you, it was amazing. And the whole crowd felt the same which simply took your breath away.
The game was over too soon for your taste, you wanted to watch longer, wanted to see more, wanted to cheer more even though your throat must be dry by now.
You rushed down the stairs to be the first to catch your boyfriend. Of course you waited until they were done stretching not to disturb them.
“Tooru! That was amazing! Congratulations on winning” you smiled at him.
“Honestly I didn´t think you´d make it through to the end” Oikawa said, teasing you.
“Are you kidding me? I loved it! I want to watch more games” you let him know, making his eyes light up.
“Oh, before I forget this, I made something for you and I have a feeling you´ll like it” you grinned cheekily as you held up the milk bread proudly.
Tooru instantly picked you up, hugging you and spun you around like a child making you giggle.
“(Y/N), you´re the best! What did I do to deserve you?” he whined, you just laughed and hooked your arms around his neck, kissing him.
“Well, you´re busy with volleyball and you still make time for me, that´s just amazing and I don´t tell you enough how much that means to me, how much you mean to me… and because you´re so good to me and make me feel so special, I wanna make three times the effort for you! I want to support you in everything you do and if that means just coming to your games and cheering for you, well, nothing easier than that” you told him, making his eyes water a bit.
“(Y/N), what the fuck? You´re actually gonna make me cry….I love you so much” he sobbed, earning a mocking laugh from Iwaizumi who he then shot a pouty look.
“Go ahead then, princess” you laughed, holding his hand.
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