#didnt have that knowledge base yet but still it would be easier to not get so distracted by my own interest in knowledge sometimes

[nerdie-faerie]

Everyone always says that the draw to sciences is hard answers and yet I spend all my time trying to find said definitive answers only to spiral down a research hole every time because they do not exist. Everything is far more complex than you are led to believe particularly in the sciences where they're constantly realising that previously accepted research isn't an entirely holistic view of said topic

[larrythefloridaman]

Y'all like your deities with or without the shell?

Under the readmore is aaaaaaaaall color god observations and musings based on them, because I am studying to become the world's Premiere Chromatheologian and RGB Understander so under the cut is pretty much Oops! All Spoilers! up to the most recent episode of season 3.

Apparently Universal Color God Attributes:

Damage to their domain hurts them, but fixing the issue, or lashing out by using their powers destructively, can help them to repair the damage.

If they sustain enough damage, it can temporarily paralyze them and send them into a strengthened but 'exposed' state (chartreuse's spirit activation in the last fight of 19) and further damage after that will activate a failsafe, which is unique by domain but seemingly designed to give them the chance to balance things, but can get… very out of hand or backfire depending on circumstances. (see: cobalt’s failsafe sending mark's universe into a never-ending apocalyptic war because word of the cure for death became too widespread for the killing urge failsafe to affectively balance anything because every side could simply revive their fallen.)

Chartreuse's failsafe is something of a stopped time bubble quarantine where processes that require the passing of time cannot complete, allowing her the time to wear down the offending party to beat them to death or plan around finishing them.

Cobalt's is inciting war, the casualties serving to balance the scale. I'm not sure we know Crimson's yet- he's never taken enough direct damage without doing damage to compensate in order to trigger it, although i dont remember season one well enough to recall if any of the universe stuff in it tracks with the pattern bc season one is a bit fucky

Connected in a fashion that allows them to simply Sense the overall status of the others to some extent, although they don't know Why theyre in the state theyre in without asking (chartreuse [and by extension, folk, presumably on her information] confronting crimson via crimsonaut for pretending to be dead, Cobalt confronting both his siblings about how they are handling their duties improperly but not knowing about Folk. He knew about the constants deaths because hes a death god, duh, but he didnt use their names like crimson did, possibly implying they're erased upon death so thoroughly that only crimson and the constants can really recall a shattered constants' existence, not even the other guardians.)

Abilities of the guardians can be replicated by mortals through three apparent methods- through machines (dimensional bus, the time machine, presumably J0hn's part in Sephiroth's resurrection,) simply through advanced enough individual skill (Home MD curing death, potentially Dantoinette's universe portal travel, maybe Genwun's sped up time bubble that evolved them into Genfour? although that could very well have just been an illusion and theyre just like, a fuckin theater kid that was doing pretend character development for the Bit or something given GenFive turned out to be a zoroark) or through stealing some of the power of the relevant god (Dr. Order stealing Chartreuse's power, Dani maybe having stolen some of Crimson's when she beat his ass. Dani's one woman universal travel is like, wicked ambiguous)

Cobalt:

Can seemingly perceive or act through any living material. (The Tree. Cobalt instructed Larry to slap his hand on that tree, that shit glowed and he had a new deal tattoo without Cobalt ever having been physically present)

Can influence the resurrected by giving them a killing urge. Represented by an aberrant brainwave and a ringing in the undead's heads. This doesnt appear to be direct control- as the Grunk could clearly restrain himself from killing people that genuinely didn't deserve it (like nightly and cha cha, who WERE grunk event targets but not fatally so. Nagito was a crimson thing so it really doesn't count here. God poor grunk his life really is just a constant plaything in the hands of the gods huh) and Sephiroth very much had personal motivation to want to kill Folk. failsafe activates this ability on the scale of war.

Deals. The extent of what Cobalt can do with these is unclear but Iggy's god powers were taken from him as his part in the deal so what he can take isn't limited to physical things or things obviously related to his domain.

Weaknesses:

Deals. While this ability is impressive his preference for making deals for those that offend against his domain is potentially very exploitable- Larry's knowledge of the cure for death is, if word of it were to ever get out beyond Larry, wildly dangerous for this dimension, so technically the safest thing for the iron-fisted cobalt to do would be to nip the problem in the bud and get rid of him. But, fascinatingly, that wasn't even put on the table, the first thing Cobalt does is threaten J0hn, prompting Larry to make a deal. While Cobalt enforces death, he also doesn't like unnecessary death, and Larry demonstrably knows how to keep a secret for the good of the world even at great cost to himself and Cobalt is aware of this- easily clarifying to Larry the aberrant thing endangering the universe wasn't his timeloop business. So while he's clearly not letting his resurrection fuckery go unpunished, he's being pretty merciful when he doesn't have to be and from a strictly, brutally pragmatic perspective probably shouldn't be.

His control over the undead manifests as a ringing and an aberrant brainwave trackable by J0hn's equipment, and could probably therefore be accounted for and circumvented? J0hn has, wisely, largely sworn off fucking with people's brains after the sephiroth fiasco went So Wrong, So Very Wrong, Oh God Oh Fuck Someone Cool Almost Died, but if he hadn't, and if J0hn let his dislike for authority and keeping Larry safe outweigh reason like he let safety, spite and comedic value outweigh good ethical sense when reprogramming sephiroth, in theory Mr. 'hacked a time machine for breakfast?' could. y'know. probably do it. what is a god's authority to an anarchist, what better to challenge life and death than the cold and eternal machine, you get the point its a fun scenario

Olive Garden Breadsticks and Small Cute Dogs, apparently

Chartreuse's:

Time Clones: taps into parallel timelines to retrieve alternate versions of herself to utilize.

Time Travel: what it says on the tin. Travel to the past creates painful splits in the prime timeline, but through careful action and traveling back into the past, these can be weaved into a time loop. A split from the timeline is a wound, and a successful timeloop is the surgical scar it can become with attentive care, to use a medical metaphor. Carefully closed and healing. Keeping Folk here is essentially akin to chartreuse pulling out her stitches on the initial incision.

Time Stopping: creates a space wherein things that take time to complete cannot complete, where things can move, but everything within is in a perfect unchanging stasis until the bubble drops. This is the form her failsafe takes.

Timeline Creation: can create timelines from scratch.

Can fuse alternate timeline versions of the same individual to allow them to coexist. (Ryan's confirmed in the discord that Dantoinette experienced both failures in 20, because Chartreuse fused the two instances of her to save the post-raid instance from fading. Could... theoretically do this to Folk and save herself the pain, but while Folk and Therapuppy are the same person, there's seven years and untold amounts of difference deriving from the time and circumstance between them and the inherent cognitive dissonances that would result from attempting that would be wicked fucked up to inflict, and that's assuming there isn't some reason that it wouldn't be possible anyway. while the two Danis had like. A day or so's difference between them, so she could be safely fused with the only dissonant thing being that she remembers both being too slow to prevent order's time escape and beginning to dissipate post-raid, AND losing that fight to her pre-raid. RIP Dani, that perfectionism must be kicking her ass)

Weaknesses:

Unwilling to use her powers destructively in her pursuit of domain repair and thereby much easier to damage to the point of paralyzing her, making her particularly vulnerable to Power Theft

Morally Optimistic. At one point in 19, she briefly justifies Crimson's shitty evil actions to herself after experiencing for herself how Wack the kerfuffleverse is firsthand, ("and all he did was kill a couple people!" Chartreuse. Honey.) and when she fights Crimsonaut she seems to actually believe for a second that he's actually worried about her when Crimson asks if she's okay after he beats her. Additionally, as D+, she concerns herself with trying to understand doctor order's motive, and after Larry defeats Order, he makes a point of confirming she feels no remorse before making his request for what Chartreuse does with her, and appeals to the idea of letting Order fulfill her desire to be a god in a way which isn't a problem for anyone and Chartreuse is more than happy to oblige under these conditions after what Larry's done for everybody. Then immediately threatens to evaporate him for playfully teasing her about having a crush on folk. Fucked up a little bit

Crimson's:

Universe Shifting: Travel between universes.

Universe Correction: appears to replace an aberrant individual with the 'correct' version of themselves for that universe, presumably sending them back to their own. (Mario from super mario was universe corrected, but still seemingly exists in wario form as evidenced by smashup kerfuffle, and was simply temporarily replaced with his corrected universe counterpart. But like. The dimensional bus system is still active crimbo doing the Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me routine aint gonna work if they can come back with a shrug and bus fare. you're fighting the symptoms without treating the problem)

Universal Constants:

Three individuals per universe that serve as the pillars which stabilize said universe, created by absorbing red orbs Crimson creates. Becoming a constant grants power, but also makes the constant fragile, and death wipes them from the face of the multiverse, only crimson, those he's possessed and the other constants seemingly able to recall they ever existed, although some physical evidence is still left behind (Larry's record of Nagito's death, which is just as redacted as everything else relating to him but still is very much something Larry has. Kind of a Voidfish adventurezone type beat ironically enough? Taako really has seen all this shit before no wonder he peaced tf out)

To counterbalance the weaknesses the constants have, they have a sort of spidey-sense to alert them to danger, and an intrinsic bonded connection to their fellow constants, and additionally, Crimson apparently doesn't suffer any pain from the death of constants or the structural instability of a universe.

Possession: what it says on the tin! Seemingly can only be done with permission to living things- none of crimson's direct hosts seem to have entered that agreement unwillingly, Valentine lost a bet, Hamburger and Crimsonaut have been by all evidence intentional allies to Crimson- but electronics are fair game, as seen with The Guy's suit. Kinda curious how that rule applies to bitches that are half and half, like J0hn or the clonebot gang, as its unclear whether The Guy's suit was yoinkable without permission because it was mechanical or because its not sentient. could go either way but if it's the former that's potentially very frightening

Fusion: Two individuals from alternate universes can be fused into one shared body which can take on aspects of either depending on which is currently in control. (possibly allows someone who traveled into a given universe to become a fixed resident there without it being an issue for Crimson, whose job is to prevent interdimensional travel?) Monday Mark and possibly T.O.M. are our main examples.

Corruption:

Unpleasant As Hell and can even kill you instead of changing you if you cant handle it.

turns the corrupted individual into a twisted exaggeration of themself, allows them supernatural control over their shape, and makes them very difficult- if not impossible by traditional means- to kill, based on Garfield.

Subjects them to control by Crimson, but can be exorcised of this influence just like crimson's direct hosts can, although the supernatural changes to their physiology are seemingly permanent, judging from Shantae.

Notable Weaknesses:

Exorcism can be performed to free a possessed or corrupted individual of Crimson's influence. Its unclear how exorcism works/is learned in CPUK, but confirmed exorcists: dantoinette and yung papaya's snake dad, confirmed non-exorcists: folk

The universal constant orbs are physical objects so they are Very Stealable and they grant a power boost so theres literally an Incentive to beat his ass for anybody who wants to be strong and either doesnt know or doesn't care about the whole 'getting erased when you die' part

Crimson has lots of tools to create pawns, but all of them have drawbacks. Corruption could kill a potential pawn, possession generally seems to require permission, and he has no control over the constants' choices and actions

Manipulative bitch's highest stat is charisma and it shows. This motherfucker is selling snake oil. If he was mortal rather than a Whole Entire God he'd make an excellent ineffectual saturday morning cartoon supervillain and i think everyone, including him, would be happier for it, ngl

Something interesting ive realized that likely wasnt fully intentional, is that a lot of Dr. Order's creations, considering her motive, can kind of be sorted by a color god it appears to be a crude attempt at mimicking the abilities of. My Grunk is a poorly executed resurrection, the clonebot gang vs chartreuse's timeclones (this one deserves special mention because Chartreuse used this shitty attempted mimicry to her advantage with D+, very smart and ironic play, excellent job Treusy,) spirits are somewhat similar to universal constant orbs (orbs which can be absorbed to grant power, but which have physical repercussions- key differences being that spirits require activation and grow stronger while attuning to a user without being used, and having far less severe drawbacks, taking a heavy toll on the body, but only once they've worn off and without the risk of wiping yourself from the face of existence,) and she also augmented Perfect Spriteman and Larry, which kind of track as crude imitations of Crimson's corruption!

Garfield was an acerbic cat who loved food and hated mondays, now its an actively malicious ever-hungry amorphous entity whose only weakness is monday and whose only consistency in form is 'cat-like.'

Shantae was (to my extremely limited understanding of shantae,) a friendly heroic type who had to introduce herself often, and she became something akin to a biblically accurate angel that can *only* introduce herself.

The Grunks a tough but sweet and supportive single dad with stage presence and a tendency to fly off the handle when he or his family are slighted, and now he gets so hype in the audience when his son does well that he bursts into flames and ascends and we get random grunk events along with the associated murder charges when he gets mad and the target sucks enough that he doesn't hold himself back from killing them.

Perfect Spriteman and Larry fit the trend of exaggeration of already present traits- Spriteman fucking loves sprite and became something that only thinks about sprite, and Larry the Florida Man, characterized from minute one by unpredictability and who spent his first matches in the series pre-shapeshifter transformation staying alive keeping stocks for Shockingly Long even despite getting seventh, became literally physically random as well as developing the ability to regenerate, albeit with the ability to feel pain normally very much intact, unlike Garfield just... Soaking up damage like its nothing in his pursuit of Jon. The fact that Arbuckle legit defeated Garfield, even temporarily, is terrifyingly impressive honestly that dude is fucking built different for being so chronically bland

i dont think they're actually corrupted in any meaningful way we have to worry about, to be fully clear, Spriteman was cured with fucking antacids, i simply think they could be a fucked up attempt at making something that kind of seems like it from a functional standpoint, from the wannabe god doctor that brought us green clones whose only fundamental association with time was accelerated aging and who thought an actively rotting corpse thats just reanimated enough that it can throw hands was as good as curing death

[unironicduncanstan]

the “Tangodeltaindia” blog explained,

aka my brain has cringe spots on it and needs to be inspected by the FDA

hi my names randi/uni and i created a total drama island themed ARG two months ago on a whim that almost no one interacted with bc i started off way too niche and difficult, so i kinda just went increasingly off the rails because i knew most likely no one was monitoring my posts and i could just make a real cursed hidden tomb that could one day be discovered by someone in a goonies esque unveiling. but then i got lice and now im sad and uncomfortable so i’m just gonna explain the entire damn thing in one shot. its absolutely batshit and theres a reason no one uncovered it ok here we go;;;

first of all the name. its so stupid but. ‘tango delta india’ = ‘tdi’ in the NATO phonetic alphabet. it just felt like a funny place to start that implies its gonna be a puzzle blog idk,

moving on to the actual content tho; some of the earlier posts mean p much nothing and were just an attempt to draw people in, such as the mr coconut ‘like if you agree’ or the ‘let him inside hes cold’ posts. 

then theres the cipher (x). it was posted shortly after the height of the ‘using total drama reference pictures to make an alphabet’ meme. in case anybody didnt see that; for a while it was a joke in the fandom to take the transparent references of total drama characters, and line them up, using them like hieroglyphics to make translatable pictures. its supposed to correspond to the alphabet, based on the first letter of their first name. an example could be, alejandro = a, bridgette = b, and so on. there was no solidly set alphabet amongst the fandom though, it was self explanatory most of the time so i made my own solid personal cipher key for that blog to make the whole thing easier.

NOW ONTO THE FIRST PUZZLE POST,,,, (x). theres a scene, a string of text, the cipher key, and a link to a decoder. the way to decode it all is to plug the characters on screen into the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and then plug That translation into the decoder website, and then finally paste in the text under the photo. 

the website linked is to a Caesar cipher decoder. the Caesar cipher is just a code where the alphabet is assigned to numbers (a=1, z=26), and to encode something with it you can move this pattern however you want as long as you keep the regular sequence of alphabet and numbers. so you could scootch over One letter, and “abc” would now say “bcd”. so on and so forth.

looking at the scene + my own total drama reference cipher, alejandro = A, and the beaver = 1, which gives A1. so you could now follow the link to the website, press ‘decode’, and paste in the text under the picture. the ‘shift’ in the middle is automatically set to ‘7′, or as it shows, a -> h, meaning ‘a’ has been moved over by 7 letters. so if you set the shift to just 1 over, or A1, now you can translate the text. it reads;

“lets start simple. after all, a trail of breadcrumbs begins with a loaf. whats the harm in another long winded fandom meme. another inside joke. and arent you curious whats truly lurking inside?”

edgy! simple! kinda just a test to see if people would do it or not. which they didnt so of course i tried to make it weirder-

puzzle 2; (x) using the exact same translation rules as above. we have alejandro and the snake, which with the tangodeltaindia cipher key means A6. going to the website, putting it in ‘decode’ mode, pasting in your text, and setting the shift to ‘6′ gives you this translation.

“in his eyes are an island. nothing but a dream, born out of going to bed angry. sink or swim.”

this was just hinting around at where the story was gonna go so it’ll make more sense later. something else to note; if you zoom all the way in and look into alejandros eye (’in his eyes’), you’ll see the word ‘Thera’. ~thats a surprise tool that will help us later~

so after this one, there are two non-puzzle posts that are also just hints (i was just tryna see if i could get people hyped), the first is a close up picture of chris with red eyes that simply says “those arent his eyes”, and then a post that says “his real names not chris :)”, they’re again referencing his eyes, and this time further implying theres something fake or wrong about them, or with chris as a person. again, it’ll be explained better later on.

moving on to puzzle 3 (x), another test to see if anyones keeping up (which also failed josdfjsdfkjs), using the same translation rules, dj = a dash or minus, and the snail = 5, “-5″, shift the letter ‘A’ BACK five instead of forward, and you get the simple translation of; “getting harder now.”

puzzle 4 and 5; at this point, there are two images posted within hours of each other that i’ll explain together as they line up. (x) (x)

These are some of the only ones that can be translated from just the tangodeltaindia key directly. They end up a string of numbers, which are latitude and longitude coordinates. The first post, labelled “the lie”, translates into “45.57394802102744, -81.46817207492494″. googling that will take you to maps and show you to a place called Lonely Island in Canada.

The second one, “the truth”, translates into “36.404663113177534, 25.39605673375295″, taking you to Santorini, Greece.

This is where the hints got really out there bc i realized nobody was following along but i still wanted to paint a picture. so this is the set up;;; the idea that the ‘island’ (camp wawanakwa) existing somewhere in canada, is a lie. the ‘true’ location being santorini isnt meant to be taken at face value though. the mythology behind santorini is that a man impregnated a goddess and to escape the wrath of her father (triton), she formed the island (santorini) by having her lover throw clay into the sea, and then she gave birth to her son, Theras, on this island, giving the island it’s Other nickname, Thera.

this is again just a vague implication that the island might not be real at all, or that it was formed through cosmic means.

the next two posts are more non-puzzle hints, the first showing the definition of the word ‘fresh’ (new), and the second being images of total drama backgrounds with no characters and the text reading “they were always empty.” more, admittedly very outlandish implications that the island is some kind of illusion, but again mostly just another try to drag people into the blog.

puzzle 6. (x) this one introduces a new concept to the regular translation rules, some of the characters are laying down. its kinda supposed to imply they’re “dead” and that you need to take their corresponding letters out of the alphabet given on the Caesar cipher page, below the shift. The upright characters translate to “-9″, so you shift ‘A’ back 9 letters. Then remove the letters; “TH-E-R-A-S”, and with those letters taken out, you can finally translate the text.

“he creates life solely to destroy it. to crush it in his hands. he births chaos so that he may have something to control. the power has given him madness. the isolation, arrogance. don't try to stop him, he's already chosen to be unstoppable. his mind is a perfectly crafted prison, one we will all soon be living in.”

this is where the story gets more on the nose. it’s talking about chris, and about him being an unstoppable cosmic force, a diety who can create worlds within his own mind, and he does so maliciously just for power. hes created the campers through mental energy just to torment them. it also hints that his plan is to expand the world of total drama island and engulf the whole universe.

puzzle 7. (x) same as the last puzzle. beaver and moose translate to ‘1-0′ or ten. the characters lying down to remove from the caesar cipher alphabet are “T-U-L-P-A”. this doesnt have anything to do with the modern way some ppl interact with tulpas but just the actual idea of creating thoughtforms, or willing your thoughts into real life creations, referencing how chris has created the entire island and everyone on it solely through his mind. with those letters removed and the shift set forward 10, you get this:

“his psychic power is unfathomable. the reality he bore was just a passing thought. an idea that became so dangerous. he predates the idea of a mind, the minds own ability to recognize itself, his synapses are paradoxically ancient. the island exists only within himself, to torment the souls hes created, and damned from the start. will they ever be free?”

it states that chris is more than a man or even just a diety, hes an all powerful god already, yet he craves more power. the final line, “will they ever be free” is in reference to the campers, which segways into the next arc;;; freeing the campers from chris’ psychic island imprisonment.

puzzle 8. (x) to solve this one you have to translate the top image with the tangodeltaindia cipher key, and add it to the text given, which creates a link. this leads to a PDF, a page from a book written by terence mckenna. he’s a famous ethnobotanist known best for his studies on DMT, the strongest hallucinogenic drug in the world, its also known as the spirit molecule. many people on this drug (without any prior knowledge of this phenomenon) will recount meeting strange fractal beings that can create things in the universe just by speaking them into existence, theyve come to be known as ‘machine elves’, a term coined by mckenna. ill show the most important excerpt from the page;

this is less about the psychedelic drug part and more about the words and ideas, like “punching a hole through a dimension so it pours through” and “if god didnt exist man would invent him”. its more worldbuilding towards chris’ power and cosmic abilities

then come 2 more clues. a picture of chris holding his own body captioned ‘ego death’, and the meaning behind the name ‘chris mcclean’. the latter is another “please look over here” post, but the first is another minor reference to the previous puzzles answer involving DMT and terence mckenna. ‘ego death’ is a term again used with strong psychedelic drugs, its the sensation that your spirit as you know it is literally Dying, and you are instead connected to and a part of everything around you. another reference to chris’ power and how he may look like a man but his body and spirit are connected to the world hes built in unfathomable ways. at this point im cementing the idea that chris mclean is not a mortal man and cannot be fought with mortal weapons

puzzle 9. (x) this one was an attempt to make easier to solve puzzles, and comes with a visual of chris looming over the island. the text is in wingdings, which can be translated through multiple websites found through google. it says;

“s︎o︎o︎n︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ s︎l︎e︎e︎p.︎ h︎e︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ d︎r︎e︎a︎m︎ a︎ n︎e︎w︎ h︎e︎l︎l︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ w︎i︎l︎l︎ b︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎ o︎n︎l︎y︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎,︎ t︎o︎ s︎a︎v︎e︎ h︎i︎s︎ c︎r︎e︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎s︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎ t︎h︎o︎s︎e︎ w︎h︎o︎ w︎e︎r︎e︎ n︎e︎v︎e︎r︎ d︎e︎s︎i���g︎n︎e︎d︎ t︎o︎ b︎e︎ f︎r︎e︎e︎.︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ m︎a︎y︎ c︎o︎m︎e︎ a︎t︎ a︎ c︎o︎s︎t︎.︎ t︎h︎e︎ n︎i︎g︎h︎t︎m︎a︎r︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎,︎ t︎h︎e︎ o︎u︎r︎o︎b︎o︎r︎o︎s︎ o︎f︎ h︎i︎s︎ s︎y︎n︎c︎o︎pe︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ c︎l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ i︎t︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎u︎r︎n︎ o︎u︎r︎ e︎f︎f︎o︎r︎t︎s︎ o︎f︎ s︎a︎l︎v︎a︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ t︎o︎ d︎u︎s︎t︎.︎ o︎u︎r︎ f︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ m︎i︎g︎h︎t︎ e︎n︎d︎ i︎n︎ s︎a︎c︎r︎i︎f︎i︎c︎e︎,︎ r︎e︎n︎d︎e︎r︎i︎n︎g︎ h︎i︎s︎ l︎a︎s︎t︎ i︎n︎v︎e︎n︎t︎i︎o︎n︎ b︎u︎t︎ a︎ c︎e︎a︎s︎e︎l︎e︎s︎s︎ v︎o︎i︎d︎.︎ w︎e︎ m︎a︎y︎ s︎e︎e︎ h︎o︎r︎r︎o︎r︎s︎ t︎h︎a︎t︎ c︎a︎u︎s︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎t︎a︎r︎s︎ t︎o︎ s︎h︎u︎d︎d︎e︎r︎,︎ b︎u︎t︎ w︎e︎ m︎u︎s︎t︎ t︎a︎ke︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ c︎h︎a︎n︎c︎e︎.︎ w︎e︎ h︎a︎v︎e︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎o︎ l︎o︎s︎e︎,︎ a︎n︎d︎ a︎ w︎o︎r︎l︎d︎ o︎f︎ n︎o︎t︎h︎i︎n︎g︎n︎e︎s︎s︎ t︎o︎ e︎n︎d︎.︎ m︎a︎y︎ t︎h︎e︎ s︎e︎a︎ s︎w︎a︎l︎l︎o︎w︎ u︎p h︎i︎s︎ i︎s︎l︎a︎n︎d︎ o︎f︎ l︎i︎e︎s︎.︎ g︎o︎d︎ pr︎o︎t︎e︎c︎t︎ y︎o︎u︎.︎”

this is essentially saying that the island, the campers, werent all just created from his mind, but from his dreams. this confirms that he Sleeps, and claims hes going to sleep again soon, and during that time period theres a chance to kill him before he can dream up another world (or season) to control and torment. its also saying that theres a chance killing him will destroy the island and campers, but that its the only choice we would have to end the cycle. hey guys i am so bored and over the years i have been on every stimulant and anti depressant doctors are legally allowed to prescribe and its still just not quite there yet huh

puzzle 10. (x) the video, the title translates to “the island of his eye”. its just meant to encapsulate everything ive already been hinting around at but with real footage and some audios taken from the show, and again, it was me tryna make some lore that was easy to digest and also terrifying to an audience with no other context. the final images are the only new clues, if you pause fast enough you can barely make out the characters that (paired with the tangodeltaindia cipher key) would say “set them free”, and you can also see an aerial view of what is actually called “the eye of argentina”. it is a real island that rotates atop a swamp, it is geometrically perfect and no one really knows for sure why it rotates the way it does or how it was formed. this clue is simply related back to the idea that the island of wawanakwa’s location is not in canada, and that it does not function like a normal island.

puzzle 11. (x) what td blog is complete without a uquiz? anyways, it doesnt matter how you answer the quiz, theres only one possible result. the title is a link to a mega file, which is protected with a decryption key. the image attached to the result, when deciphered, is the randomly generated key to the unlock the file. the image you see from the file is this; (TW for mentions of self harm and eye trauma)

in case this is too hard to read ill transcribe what it says;

“How to escape the dream - accept that there is no dream to escape, and no you to escape it. - believe in it anyways. - sleep on your back. - cover your eyes. - hide a nail under the pillow. - wait for the ringing. - when you first see him, dont call his name. dont speak. - keep your eyes shut. - on the second night, ask where the camp is. he wont respond verbally. - on the third night, you’ll see his eyes. - on the fourth night, you’ll enter them. - you can’t turn back after the fifth night. - don’t try to hide your fears. he knows them before you arrive. - don’t shut your eyes for too long when it becomes too much. you risk losing them. - find chris mclean. - don’t stop till the nail is through the socket. - repeat on the other side. - repeat on yourself. - congratulations. they are free”

this is, believe it or not, an idea that comes from my very own sleep paralysis experiences. ive dealt with it a lot, so why not make a weird ritual thing for an arg based off it ig. so whenever i’d fall asleep on my back, i’d eventually hear this ringing in my ears (or it’d happen upon waking up), and then the sleep paralysis would begin. i only ‘saw’ stuff a couple times but the fear for me was really more about the overwhelming sensation of pure dread that always came along with it even when i was aware what was happening, and i Always got this feeling too that if i opened my eyes in that moment, something was gonna stab them.

so moving on to how that applies to the arg, the first few lines are about how, obviously, the island is not real, even in the lore being given its a figment of chris’ imagination, but you have to enter it anyways, and the only way to do that is to believe its real. then it tells you how to ‘enter’ that world, (btw i didn’t expect anyone to actually follow these instructions if found, but even if they did, the whole ‘sleep paralysis being caused by sleeping on your back’ thing usually only happens if you’re predisposed to having it and only happens to Some people who have it, so the intent was like. never to bring that upon anybody. but if you are prone to sleep paralysis plz do not attempt even as a joke or anything thx)

the parts about hallucinating chris then are as follows, “ask about the camp / he wont respond verbally” , meaning he will show you through a dream instead, one that might look a lot like the video from before. “on the third night you will see his eyes”, meaning you will see the island but not be able to interact with it, or basically, how we see total drama on tv right now. “on the fourth night you’ll enter (his eyes)” references the island existing ‘within his eyes’, meaning you will enter the actual island. the next night chris will sleep and you will be able to enter the island again and find him. the idea with the nail is that, if you destroy his eyes you destroy the ‘island’ within them. wrapping back around to sleep paralysis, the idea of stabbing yourself with the nail afterwards is because sometimes, the only thing you can move during sleep paralysis is your fingertips and toes, and wiggling those can help bring you out of the paralysis. so at first how i used to wake myself up, but it didnt usually work fast enough so oftentimes id just pinch the shit out of my fingers and use pain to make my muscles start up faster.

the next post is a link to a countdown. again, i knew nobody was rly following at this point, but i wanted a little more build up before just dropping the ending. it was set up to end 5 days after the last post, aka the one that mentioned a 5 night dream ritual.

puzzle 12. (x) going all the way back to the normal multi step translation puzzles. the coloring of the cipher is a bit different, and its missing chris, but its meant to be used the same as it was before, these changes are only for dramatic effect. and chris is gone because well. we mentally offed him in the inception dream land last time. so anyways the snake = 6, shift A to 6, take out the letters “R-I-C-K” of the characters laying in their graves, and you get this translation;

“its almost time. we must now crack open our minds like a crowbar to a sealed chest. like an egg to a pan. to find our way into camp wawanakwa our ego cannot remain intact, and to traverse it we must stay strong. to escape it, we must glue the pieces back together. now we sleep. dream. end the nightmare.”

this is a final message before ‘entering the island’ to kill chris and free the campers from the island. it acts like a pep talk.

the next post is just the countdown ending.

puzzle 13 (the finale). (x)

this post sends you to a new blog entirely, called @awakenfromthenightmare​. there is only one post on it. the post has another link to a mega file, and the link is attached onto a string of text. follow the link by clicking, then copy the text and paste it in as the decryption key. now you have another image to translate with the tangodeltaindia cipher;

when translated, the text is another link to a youtube video. 

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

so there you have it, that video is the ending to the entire arg. it didnt really end the way i wanted at first, i got burnt out from no engagement about halfway through which isnt anybody elses fault, but i still felt this was a well crafted and fitting finale. thank you all for reading.

[flowerslightning]

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

[askderynsharp]

wow, tenth leviathan anniversary. i feel old tbh. as i am currently obsessing over dnd, what class and race do you think deryn and alek would be?

I think about this too much. 

Obviously based on their personalities the first inkling is to make alek some kind of wizard and dylan some kinda knight, but dylan doesnt actually know how to sword fight and Alek is referenced multiple times to have more combat training. Furthermore, one could argue that Dylan is more fit to be a scholar class because of his extended knowledge of the natural world due to being a Darwinist, whereas Alek’s knowledge is more... diplomatic in nature. so, based on that, lets see what skills and stats the kids showcase in the books!Dylan:

For all he’s a soldier, we dont see Dylan get into scraps that often. And when we do, he usually just uses his fists so its difficult to pinpoint what weapon he’d use. But we still shouldnt consider him a martial artist too easily, because you’ll notice that the three times he is referenced getting into a fistfight the text implies he’s not super good at it. 

The first inkling we have of Dylan’s fighting prowess is when he mentions off-handedly that he couldn’t take the other middies in a real fight and thus would have to get revenge in other ways. its also mentioned that he enjoys getting 'rowdy’, but this could easily be in reference to the sneaky ways in which he takes revenge, like pranks and sneak attacks. 

The second we get is a little snippet in Behemoth in which he tells Alek that there is only one guard stationed in the Orient Express’ control room, and that he thinks he can take him. While this implies he is a good fighter, i think Dylan is more relying on the element of surprise. We dont see how Dylan takes the guard out, only hear a quick grunt from him before he hits the floor and Dylan opens the door for Alek. This implies he hit the guard fast and hard without a chance for him to fight back, and i’ll explain how this was likely when we get further down. 

The third instance of Dylan getting into a fight is hypothetical, during his and Alek’s fight in Goliath. Alek mentions that he was punched fairly hard but that Dylan’s stance was all wrong and he could easily counter attack. We dont actually see how right Alek is, but considering he was specifically trained for combat and Dylan’s used to winning fights on the first blow, I think its fair to say he would have beaten Dylan.

Now I know i’ve made a case for how weak Dylan is, but we know from the Bonus Chapter that Dylan is physically stronger than Alek when it comes to power. This power is attributed to the time he spends climbing the ratlines, and which we see in his rescue of Newkirk that he can do without hooking his legs. I dont know if you’ve ever tried to climb a rope without hooking your legs, but it takes a tremendous amount of upper body strength. Dylan laments that he is handicapped by being afab, but i’d remind you that later when he needs to wear his formal shirt he notices that his muscle mass has doubled. 

Furthermore, we learn during Dylan’s stay in Alek’s castle that he can apparently toss an apple and throw a knife through its heart. We dont get many other examples of his proficiency with daggers but he prefers to keep one on hand when skulking in Istanbul. I think its safe to say that his preferred weapon is a dagger, but also that he shows a high dexterity as well. Most of the badass moments Dylan has in the series are attributed to his dexterity, from being able to catch the flailing ladder of the stormwalker or when he spice-bombs the saboteurs on the dauntless. Theres too many examples of him being quick on both his feet and with his thinking for me to go into them all like i did with his fist fighting, but if you read the books you’ll know that Dylan’s main strength lies in his acrobatic abilities: jumping, swinging, balancing, and striking a target. 

Moving onto his mental ability, I think a lot of people overlook just how smart Dylan is. 

He’s described as a ‘quick study’ in most subjects from aeronautics to natural philosophy, and Dr. Barlow openly laments Dylan’s interest in ‘tying knots’ over exploring his intellectual potential. During The Storm Scene he’s shown calculating the weight of the water on the ships back, he picks up on the german conspiracy when meeting with the sultan before even Doctor Barlow, and he’s able to ace the entrance exam with what he’s already studied from the Manual of Aeronautics. 

But the single most impressive mental feat Dylan has showcased is his proficiency with language. In their initial meeting, Dylan is shown to not understand a word of German, which Alek and Volger use to their advantage. Its fair to say that in the following three weeks they kept up this contingency since Alek didnt completely trust Dylan yet. This means that by the start of Behemoth, Dylan’s german vocabulary is limited to the word ‘dumbass’.

He then spends time with Clankers in Istanbul, and once returning to the ship, is able to understand and speak casually with Alek’s men who cannot speak english. This means that Dylan picked up enough of the german language to hold a conversation in just over a month, and based on how he spent his time in Istanbul, purely through osmosis. Now, some people pick up languages easier than others, but the fact he was able to essentially teach himself german by ear is widely overlooked in how impressive that is. 

Now everyone knows the differences between wisdom and intelligence are a meme in themselves but the official definition for wisdom is perceptiveness and insight, which i think his accomplishments showcase. I’d argue that despite the case i’ve made for his overall smarts intelligence actually lags a bit behind his wisdom, due to how he handles the whole Alek situation. 

I’ve stated this before, but Dylan has a painfully low emotional intelligence. I’m gonna keep this brief because I’ve written that analysis before and this is already super long, but a lot of his issues with Alek could have been resolved early on with a self-aware heart to heart. He doesnt understand Alek’s feelings, he doesnt want to understand his own feelings, and he’s consistently surprised by other people’s opinions of him. Lilit’s very obvious infatuation, for example. I know this doesnt really factor into combat and stuff, but i think this makes the case that both intelligence and charisma are on the weaker side. 

With all of this in mind, its fair to say he’d favour daggers and his stats would fall somewhere in this order:

Wisdom

Dexterity

Strength

Intelligence

Charisma

Constitution

So I’d put Dylan down as a dual dagger Ranger, considering his top 3 stats are optimal for that class and the play style is similar to what we’ve seen in the books. 

Wow, this is long. I might actually need to stop it here and do a part 2 in another post. I guess I favour my son too much, heh ^^;

[probably-aziraphale]

G rambling

Honestly i wanted to do a collab with g the moment I stepped out of the portal and saw him standing on the island in that big goofy sweater. He hadn't even started to roll it up yet, just let the long sleeves dangle over his hands. The absolute goof was so nervous about joining everyone, and I wish i had stepped up first to help him.

But watching him start working on his base was like watching a caterpillar turn into a butterfly. He just instantly fell into his element.

All the little pranks and jokes and games he started were very much needed for everyone. Hes one of the reasons we all had a lowered stress level for the season.

The first time I got to properly hang out with him was after the civil war when we went end busting together. And I think thats the official moment i fell for him, watching him loop around the chorus fruit and fly circles around the different end cities. There were several times i would kind of zone out watching him (which is how he beat me loot wise) and im sure he probably thought i was weird.

Then there was the whole jangler thing, and im still surprised he figured it out so quickly and easily. Doc and I had absolutely 0 clue who it was. (And i mean the way the cookie in the sky was built should have been a MASSIVE give away come on). Hes so much smarter than he lets on, and its all the better of a surprise when he exceeds someone's expectations.

Im forever grateful that the stupid renbob joke was what made him decide to ask me for help with the whole hippie thing (and it totally had nothing to do with me having intimate knowledge about doc)

The whole hippie thing was where we really started to get to know each other better. Where we'd sit in the grass at night watching the stars and he'd braid my hair while i played guitar. Where naming mushrooms is a normal friend activity and sleeping in the same rv could still be a close friends thing.

And when Impulse joined us i instantly got him alone and asked his advice. Explained the whole thing to him and just said "what do i do to see if this is a friend thing or a live thing?" And Impukse and i brainstormed the concert idea

G had no idea what we were building up until impulse was setting up all the technical stuff and i was adding decorations and getting the hippilagers to the audience area.

Impulse ran the sound system while i (and a couple of villager musicians) went through everything like a normal concert, G front and center watching (and scar and doc several rows back pretending they weren't enjoing themselves)

I gave impulse the signal, broke out the ukulele, and started up with the plan. Singing Dodie's Would You Be So Kind directly to G, finally letting go of my anxiety as i confessed through song.

And when he took my hand and jumped up onto the stage to dance with me i was so happy. A big ol sappy moment where we kissed at the end of the song.

From that point on he was more touchy feely; always holding my hand or arm, playing with my hair (and ears), literally dropping in to give me surprise kisses and then fly off again. It was like opening the floodgates to affection city.

And going back to alpha made g panic. He had admitted to me once that he had been in love before, but had lost them at the hands of something he didnt understand. And he was terrified of losing me as well. When impulse created the portal to hop to the next version, i got stuck.

And for over a year i was in this kind of void parallel world, standing next to them, but not actualky their on the same plane of existence.

I watched grian grieve my loss, watched him lose Impulse too, watched him relive the past world he came from, the one he didnt like to talk about.

I tried to make jokes, to tell him i was still there. And it kind of worked.

And when Taurtis appeared i afraid g would stay with him, refuse to go onto the next versions so that he couldnt lose this love. But he was strong. Knew what had to happen.

So when Taurtis left, g didn't blame "the watchers" didnt blame me and impulse because he understood that you cant mess with a timeline.

He became a lot more somber after that, working hard to get the group to the end portal to fight the dragon.

And watching him fight the dragon i remebered end busting with him and how he told me he had slain it before, but in a less advanced society. In a world where it was easier. We all figured out that the power of slaying the dragon would be enough to reuinite him with us.

And suddenly we were back in hermitcraft like nothing had happened. And g wouldnt let go of me and impulse. When he blew up the bootleg time machine, he wouldn't stop holding me, couldnt stop crying into my jacket.

We watched Scar and Doc announce area 77 as an amusement park, and G broke even more. We all did. Everything we had been through was pointless.

Impulse ran back to the commune and licked himself in his rv. G couldnt stop the panic attacks he was having. And me? I felt empty, the purple streak in my hair glowing in the night felt like the only proof of what we had been through.

The next morning G got us together. Told us we were going into area 77, and stealing the infinity portal. He realized that was how Doc was getting people back, and he wanted to try to get Taurtis to join. I was worried, but at this point we were all fueled by spite and rage so we went through with it.

Making it there we had no idea how to move the portal, and G accidently broke it. Doc wasnt mad. In fact he figured we'd probably try to steal it. The whole time we were gone he had been watching and examining the changes in time/space as well as monitering the new layer of reality that seemed to appear and dissapear quickly.

Doc and G worked together to see if there was a way to get Taurtis to our world.

And it broke g's heart to hear that there wasn't.

And for a while i was scared he wouldnt want to be with me anymore, but instead he rubbed his face with his sweater sleeve, and asked if i wanted to start a new project with him.

A big fancy british castle with horses and fake butlers. For "Alfred Griansworth" and "Nigel Renfeather"

But really it was an excuse to basically live together for the rest of the season.

[lores-curio]

Pop Culture Paganism: a ritual investigation

Ever a skeptic (and also a witch, go figure) I like to see and feel things myself to believe its worth it's altar salt. Ive decided to do a little investigative journalism with this pop-culture paganism stuff. I have to admit, I’m 33, I’m getting older, more eye-rolly and stuck in my ways. I’m also still an open minded person, so I wasn’t going to let myself get stuck. I’ve always tried anything once.

I've never been the best fan-girl of Pop culture, but if it came to something that I've done religiously for over a decade, can mouth lines of it like a prayer, occurs every few months, starts with the veneration and pomp of a Pope’s visit with popcorn- it would be watching The Fifth Element.

As if it was the first time, every time.

One thing about the Fifth Element- either you love or you hate it. Isn’t that the way it is with worship or religion for most people though? Spirituality is very much about personal perspective and feeling. Also I’m still old for picking something not modern, but hey, I’m trying. There are still hordes of people who dress like the characters of the movie at Comic Con, so there still is definitely a cult following!

The Plan

I don’t usually do extensive planning in my spells or rituals, they come pretty naturally. In this case, I had to make a little list the night before so I could make an honest attempt at this new type of ritual in the morning. Also, what a perfect excuse to watch my movie again.

Now, if you know anything about the movie... the supreme being who is destined to save the world, Leeloo Dallas (played by Mila Jovovich) is the embodiment of the Fifth Element, Love. What could be better to meditate on? But in this case- though I love me some Leeloo, I was going to focus on becoming the Fifth element of love.

I’ve decided to use my element stones as I would my crystals, to power up my intentions and body. As an herbalist and spiritual naturalist my daily worship is nature based, so using something elemental does make the new PCP trial a little easier to digest. A few years back my father and brother had taken a week to mold, carve and paint one of the best gifts I’ve ever received: replicas of the four handmade element stones. (Okay, I am a fangirl, happy now?) They had even wrapped them in blue to look like the Diva’s stomach!

Besides “multipass” and “chicken, good” there’s not a whole lot of super serious inspirational quotes to dig through. But with love being the centerpiece, you don’t need it. It’s what drives the story.

One of the Mondoshawan aliens in the movie sacrificed itself so that his knowledge of the Fifth Element would be passed down to the priests. It states “Time not important, only life important.” Going on this and collecting a few different ideas, I found my mantra.

The meditation part of my experience was immediately apparent: Diva Plavalaguna’s song, performed by Inva Mula. God, I couldn’t wait until tomorrow now.

The Experience

For my ritual, I set my stones up as they would go in the movie, with me in the middle.

I put on the Diva’s song

I ceremoniously placed a feather on the air stone. I used my moon water for the Water stone, I used altar salt for earth, I lit a small candle on top of Fire. As I sat in the middle with my eyes closed, I meditated, used mudras and swayed to the concept of love.

I whispered my incantation-

“Time is not important,

only life is important.

I am a supreme being,

I am born to protect.

There is no future

Without love.

I am love.”

In all honesty- I cried a little. The memory of yesterday’s rudeness from someone at my child’s school came to me. I left mad at him, I went to bed scorned. Today, I let it go. I gave him my love. I realized I hadn’t done a loving-kindness meditation in a long time, and it was very overdue.

Closing Thoughts

While only slightly disappointed a ray of light didn’t beam out of my mouth and destroy all the evil in the world- I’m fairly pleased with how it turned out.

In a way, pop culture witchcraft isn’t much different than self-care, celebrating you and what you love. If someone asked me about how to use PCP in their daily life, I’d recommend to start small, do research, and start with something you’re definitely passionate about.

While I don’t think I’ll personally be adding in pop culture references to my daily rituals, the experience itself was refreshing and reminded me I need to meditate more. I can see why others would use it, especially fun young people finding their way in this world. It’s something that can connect you with so many others who share your passions, yet does have the potential to be a valuable addition to someone’s self care regimen- Just don’t let the act only consume it’s true meaning to you. In my case: love, understanding and compassion hold a sacred space in my heart.

Now excuse me while I eat some chicken and watch my damn movie.

[kosmicdream]

Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i  try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that! 

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno? 

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds. 

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

[marsupial-tapir]

unnecessarily long list of decision-making factors

the problems boil down to these 2 main things:

1. should i take the insect physiology course, which would make 5 courses

and

2. should i change my language diploma from spanish to german

so for 1, positives are: 

-  insect physiology looks Rad as Hell, and i want to take it at some point anyway

- if i’m going to take it eventually, next semester is the best time to do it because i’ll have a friend doing it (who is really sweet and i really want to get to know better but she’s graduating next year, so now’s really my last chance)

- also now’s a good time because i’ll be taking the course right after 2 other entomology courses, so the content will be fresh in my mind and easier to take in than it will be in later semesters

- to fit in all the electives i want to do and still graduate on time, i need to take 5 courses in some semesters anyway

- this is an ok subject to do as a 5th course because it’s non-contact, so i won’t need to squeeze any classes into my timetable

- i have a weird amount of space free on my timetable rn, which leaves lots of time to study. i might not get that in later semesters

- basically if im going to do this subject, now’s a really really good time

- i took 5 subjects last year and survived

negatives:

- i say “i survived” but a large contributor to that was that i spent 5 of the critical academic months on an enormous unrealistic energy high, which im well and truly off now, and i dont know if it’ll be back at the right time to get me through 5 subjects again

- as well as the 4 other subjects, i need to work 16 hours a week and also eat, sleep,, communicate iwth other people,, be a person,,

- also when i say “i survived” yeah i did but the aftermath wasn’t fun and towards the end (and afterwards, and recently ongoing) i had some pretty nasty lows and its really unfair to make people around me deal with that just so i can get a kick out of learning, even if it pays off for me

- if i take this course, i’ll be doing 3 third-year courses, as well as a language and at least one other second year course, and the 2nd year is marine science so there’s a good chance i’ll be hyperfocussing on that and studying it to the exclusion of the other subjects (although the same case can be made for insect physiology so)

- can i do it?? yes probably but at what cost

- also when i try to enrol in it i get an error message saying Please Do Not Enrol in This Many Courses, You Must Contact the Dean For Permission If You Want to Die and maybe i should take that as a sign from wiser powers

- yeah i’d need to enrol late by the time i get permission so maybe my chance is gone?? idk

aand problem no.2: spanish or german

arguments for spanish:

- i already took 2 courses in it last year

- if i continue this diploma, i know i’ll be able to graduate on time, whereas starting this german diploma later might make it a struggle to fit (i still MIGHT be able to do it but it’ll be a little harder)

- it’s useful??

- i dont know anyone in the course but maybe that means potential to make new friends?? didnt really work this year but there’s always more chances i guess

arguments for german:

- so when i started the language diploma last year i was tossing up between spanish and german, and chose spanish purely because i had a friend doing it and, in the absence of other deciding factors, that won the day

- BUT the friend dropped out after a semester so now im all on my lonesome.... a tragic victim of social awkwardness in a class that requires a Lot of interaction.... yikes

- now im leaning towards changing to german because i have 3 friends doing it, and i know at least two of them are majoring in it so won’t abandon me (i know its probably not a great idea to pick classes based on friends but from experience it makes a Lot of difference especially in a language course)

- there’s a vague possibility i might be doing a postgrad in germany, so it’ll be useful, whereas im unlikely to do a postgrad in a spanish-speaking country (the reason for this is that uni’s free in germany, otherwise i wouldnt even consider leaving home but yknow. ive got 3 more years to potentially develop an adventurous spirit)

- i studied italian in high school and spanish is quite similar, and i feel like i kind of want to try a different language family? i have a good foundational knowledge of latin languages now, i want to get a broader knowledge of other stuff

- german looks really cool and ive always wanted to learn it

- if i do german i’ll be taking a first year course, which will be much easier than taking a 2nd year course like i will be for spanish (and might be a big help if i end up doing 5 subjects)

- i still want to continue spanish but now that i know a bit, it’ll be easier to continue it on a more casual basis (e.g. at the iml at uni), whereas starting german from scratch will be easier if im doing it as an organised part of a degree

- even if i don’t end up finishing the diploma by graduation, i won’t have lost anything by learning another language. the content will be valuable even without a certificate to prove it

- overall german will be easier (at least this semester), its more enticing rn and seems to have a lot more positives going for it

- ??? theres probably more to say but i forgot

current enrolment sits at 4 subjects, plus one because atm im enrolled in both spanish and german but will drop one when i finally decide. if i drop one now i can pick up insect physiology, otherwise i’ll have to email and grovel for late enrolment later if i decide i want to do it. but at this stage, if nothing changes: i’ll be doing 4 subjects, but no verdict on the language as yet

[themoneybuff-blog]

Which New Car Would You Buy?

Last week via email, reader David Hatch asked: If you were going to buy a new car, what would you get do you think? I wrote a short email replythen decide this topic is worth a deeper dive (of only for my own personal edification). You see, Kim and I have been talking about cars lately. Mine is fifteen years old and hers is over twenty. Although both are running fine, we realize that well have to replace one (or both) of them in the near future. When we do, what will we buy? What kind of new car is right for Kim? What kind of car is right for me? Lets start by looking at the cars Ive owned in the past. Every Car Ive Ever Owned I am not a car guy. Even though I can appreciate nice cars, I dont have any desire to own them. Im not sure why. Maybe its because my parents never had nice cars when I was a kid. They had practical, serviceable vehicles that got the job done. During my 33 years of driving, Ive owned five cars. In high school, I inherited my fathers 1980 Datsun 310 GX. I drove that little red beast until it died during my senior year of college. I had a lot of fun with the Datsun, but I treated it poorly. The best part about this car was that I could perform a lot of the maintenance myself even though I dont have much mechanical knowledge. (Driven from March 1985 to March 1991 six years.) After the Datsun died, Dad bought me a $1000 Ford Tempo as a college graduation present. It was a POS from the start. I drove it for less than six months before giving up on it. (Driven from March 1991 to September 1991 six months.) When I landed my first job (which turned out to be the worst job I ever had), I also bought my first new car: a 1992 Geo Storm. Naturally, I bought it on creditbefore Id even received a paycheck. I loved that $12,000 car the entire time I owned it. (Driven from September 1991 to December 2000 9.25 years.) On 01 December 2000, a semi sideswiped my Geo Storm on the freeway during morning traffic. The car spun 360+ degrees before striking an overpass guardrail, deploying the airbag. The car was totalled; fortunately, I wasnt hurt.

After the accident, I purchased a brand-new 2001 Ford Focus from a friend who worked at a local dealership. I paid $15,000. I hated that car from Day One. It was awful. (I should have read the Consumer Reports reviews before buying; I would have steered clear!) I bought that vehicle with a loan too. (Driven from December 2000 to April 2009 8.25 years.) In 2009, after years of dreaming about it, I realized I could afford to buy a used Mini Cooper. By this point, Id been writing GRS for three years, so I put my own advice into practice. I shopped around. I bought used. I paid $15,000 cash. Ive owned that 2004 Mini Cooper for more than nine years now. In fact, as of this month, its the car Ive owned longest in my lifetime.

As you can tell, when I buy a car, I tend to drive it for a long time. I rarely (if ever) get the new car itch. I wish I could say this was because Im rational about my car-buying decisions, but thats not it. Im just not a car guy. (Computers, though? Well, I want to upgrade my computer every year. I am a computer guy.) But David didnt ask about the cars Ive owned in the past. He asked what car Id buy new. What Kim and I Own Now Kim and I have been thinking about this question for a couple of years now. Neither of us is eager to buy a new vehicle, but from a pragmatic perspective, were both going to have to do so relatively soon. I currently own the afore-mentioned 2004 Mini Cooper (with roughly 150,000 miles) and a 2016 Harley-Davidson Street 750 motorcycle.Kim owns a 1997 Honda Accord (with roughly 240,000 miles) and a 2005 Harley-Davidson Sportster motorcycle. Both of our cars run about like youd expect. Kims is very reliable and never has major maintenance issues. It also has air conditioning that works. (The Mini has a coolant leak that Im unwilling to pay to have fixed, so we no longer use it for long summer trips.) Ive had to spend a few thousand to repair the Mini over the past couple of years, but its running fine at this moment. Ive been setting aside $600 per month in my car fund, Kim told me the other day. Before our RV trip, she was saving for a new car, but she cashed out that money to help pay for our travels. I have about $12,000 saved now. Thats not enough for a new car especially not for a Tesla Model 3 but its a start. You plan to sell your Honda to the girls at some point, right? I asked. We know two sisters who should be getting their licenses soon. Kim has promised them they can have her Honda for $500. Yep, Kim said. Thats the plan. But should I do that if I dont have enough saved to pay cash for a new car? Thats a tough question, I said. You could always drive my Mini Cooper to work. I dont use it much during the week. And for about half the year, I could ride my motorcycle instead. Im not sure what Id do during the winter. Well, are you still thinking about buying a beater pickup? Kim asked. Since moving to our country cottage last summer, weve come to realize that our lives would be much easier if we had something that would let us haul lumber and ladders and dirt and gravel and plants and furniture and so on. Im hoping to find a small pickup that runs well priced at a few thousand dollars. Yes, I still think the pickup is a good idea, I said. And that could certainly be my winter ride. I guess we dont have to make any decision yet, Kim said. We dont have to decide anything until one the girls learns how to drive. What Kind of Car Would I Buy? Although I spend most of my road time in vehicles that are fifteen or twenty years old, this year Ive had a lot of exposure to modern cars. During both my trip to Florida in January and my trip around the Southeast in April, I rented a car. Ive spent four weeks of 2018 essentially test-driving modern mid-sized sedans. They all feel like theyre from the future. (I think I had a Nissan Versa for one trip and a Hyundai Elantra for the other.) Ill admit: I like some of the new features. Back-up cameras are kind of cool. Sound systems that automatically pair with your phone are awesome. I like the whole keyless thing, too. (The other night, Kim pointed out that her car was so old that we still have to hand-crank the windows!) While visiting Nashville in April, a friend gave me a ride in his new $150,000 Mercedes. Holy cats! The interior of that thing was like the U.S.S. Enterprise (the fancy Picard-era Enterprise, not the utilitarian Kirk-era Enterprise). I have no desire to own a luxury automobile, but I can certainly appreciate the design touches. If Kim were to buy a new car, shed buy the Tesla Model 3. Shes a fan of electric vehicles. If she cant afford a Tesla when it comes time to buy a new car, I suspect shell end up with a Honda or Toyota hybrid. (Im not sure, though. I havent asked her.) She just wants a comfortable, reliable car to get to and from work, and for us to use on long road trips. Me? Well, Ive delayed answering this question for more than 1000 words because I dont really know which car Id buy if I had to buy a new car. Lets think it through together. I prefer smaller cars. I have zero desire to own a modern truck or SUV. I dont want a minivan. I dont want a large sedan. I like vehicles with small footprints. Theyre easier to park, fuel efficient, and generally more agile.I like something a little sporty. Im not a fast driver, but I do like to be able to accelerate now and then, either to overtake another car or to enjoy twisty country roads.I want a car with ample cargo space. As I mentioned earlier, I haul stuff all the time, so I want a vehicle that lets me carry stuff from the hardware store. Itd also be nice if I could transport a kayak or two. (Believe it or not the Mini has decent cargo room. It certainly has more usable cargo space than Kims Accord.) Based on this, Id focus my search on three classes of vehicles: compact pickup trucks, compact cars, and subcompact cars. Unfortunately, compact pickup trucks are a dying breed. Yes, Ford is bringing back the Ranger in a few months, but currently there are only five options in this category. The only one that gets good reviews is the Honda Ridgeline, and that costs $30,000 or more. There arent many options in the world of subcompact cars, either. Most of those options also get poor reviews (and low customer satisfaction scores). There are plenty of choices in the world of compact cars, however, and at prices that dont scare me. Both the Toyota Corolla and Toyota Prius are highly-rated and affordable. That said, if I bought a compact car, Id probably pursue a Mazda 3 or Hyundai Elantra. Plus, Id have to consider the modern Mini Cooper. (My ex-wifes boyfriend is a mechanic and fellow Mini fan. Hes warned me that newer Minis are both larger and less reliable, so Im skeptical that Id choose a Mini again. But I do love mine.)

The Bottom Line So, which new car would I purchase? Honestly, I dont know. I dont want to buy a new car, and I hope I dont have to make this sort of decision for many years. Having said that, I am absolutely in the market for a beat-up but reliable pickup preferably a compact pickup. Something like this seems perfect:

As a wildcard, I suppose a used Subaru Outback might be a smart choice for me also. (Actually, a Subaru Outback would be an excellent choice for our current lifestyle.) The older I get, the more I view vehicles as tools. Theyre not status symbols for me. I dont get an adrenaline rush from a souped-up sports car. Right now, I want a car that runs reliably, allows me to haul stuff, and doesnt take up a lot of space. Thats it. (Except when we take long road trips which happens two or three times each year I dont care about comfort.) Realistically speaking, heres what I expect will happen: One of the girls will get her license in the next year. Kim will sell the Honda to her for $500.Kim and I will pool money to buy her a new car. It wont be the Tesla Model 3 that she wants so badly. Itll be a Subaru Outback or a hybrid Toyota or Honda.I will continue to drive the Mini Cooper until it is well and truly dead. At that time or perhaps before Ill buy a beater pickup for use around the homestead. (Yes, we may end up having three cars at some point but only for a little while.) What about you? If you had to buy a new car, what would you buy? Why? What features are important to you? Are there certain makes or models that you prefer? Refuse to consider? And based on what Ive told you here, what kind of car would you recommend for me? https://www.getrichslowly.org/which-new-car/

[numberonetrashcollectorus-blog]

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"insurance quotes canada

insurance quotes canada

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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garage liability insurance

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insurance quotes canada

insurance quotes canada

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Does anyone know the average insurance quotes for 2007 Nissan Altima in North Carolina?

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Car insurance advice?

I am 20 years old just got my license in February my car insurance is currently 217 with abc I can't afford it so where can I get a cheaper insurance I know because my age cheap isn't a option but 200 is insane.. or would it be cheaper for somebody to put me on their insurance with my car!! HEEEELLLLPPP btw I have a 06 mazda 6

""How much will my car insurance go up for 3,475 worth of damage?""

there were no other cars involved and no police report. i am still a dependent on my father's insurance- 23 year old female, however. i have a deductable- just wondering if I am goign to suffer from this...since I am switiching to my own insurance directly after my car gets fixed.""

Cheap car insurance companies?!?

Does anyone know of any cheap or fair priced car insurance companies? Any suggestions will help??

How much would car insurance cost?

im 18 going to be 19 the car i was looking at cost 29,155$ so since im young how much do you think the insurance would cost?""

How much would car insurance be for someone my age?

I'm 19 years old and I make about $700 a month. I'm a college student and I'm tired of having to depend on using my dad's vehicle to get to my classes. My concern is the car-insurance. I have a perfect record, but I heard that car-insurance companies stick it to younger people. Is there anyone about my age that could tell me what kind of car they have and the cost of their insurance, so that I can get a general idea of the going rates.""

How do I cancel California Blue Cross insurance?

I have been trying to cancel my policy for 3 months. I even tried to stop payment at my bank, but they keep getting around the stop payments by charging different amounts each month. (This month they decided to charge me $50 more than last month) When I call them, I am on hold for over 30 minutes before I finally just give up. On their website, there is NO information about how to cancel your policy whatsoever. Why is it that they don't have ANY information on their California Blue Cross website about how to cancel??? Does anyone know of an address or fax number or wherever I am supposed to send written cancellation to or how do I go about cancelling????""

Learners permit insurance?

My parents are divorced and my mom took me to get my permit and signed for it. In order to drive with my dad do I have to have a card of her insurance in the car?

How much would insurance cost for me if I have a Classic Camaro and I am a 16 year old male with State Farm?

I am thinking about getting a classic car. Probably a Camaro (year 1990 and lower). I have State Farm, and I am a 16 year old male. Anyone have a clue about how much insurance would cost? Thank you.""

What is a semiannual premium for car insurance?

My quote was: Semiannual premium: $1251 Do I pay $1251 twice a year?

insurance quotes canada

insurance quotes canada

Car Insurance?

Ok so my Car Insurance is due 9th Feb, ive had my quote through from Direct Line and I wanna stick with them... Thing is though, Im waiting to start receving incapacity benefit as i am really unwell and unable to work at the minute..so i cant afford it until my benefit starts coming through My car is taxed until June My question is, can i cancel my insurance and keep the car parked outside my house, but obviosuly not drive it, until i can get the insurance OR do I have to inform DVLA and declare my car as off the road?? Many thanks! xxx""

What is a car under 1000 for young drivers with cheap insurance ? ?

What is a car under 1000 for young drivers with cheap insurance ? ?

Got an insurance check for hail damage on my car do i have to repair my car?

I have had the check for the insurance company sitting for two months due to the fact I havent had the money to pay the deductible. Well I am 35 weeks pregnant and this week my phone, water, car insurance, will all be shut off or canceled this week and my car payment was due three weeks ago. So This is my last and final option but my car is not paid of I still owe on it and the check is for 2,000 due to hail damage and it is made out to me and the bank so it says pay to the order of (name) AND (bank) only! Can I put the check into my bank account wait for it to clear and then pay my bills? I know this sounds very wrong but sometimes you have to do what you can with you've got.""

""When renting from Budget car rental service, do you need full insurance coverage?

I'm renting from Budget and need to know if I have to have personal full insurance coverage to rent

I am looking for a name for my insurance agency I deal in Life Insurance and Health Ins.&annuities?

We deal with all ages and alot with seniors We do not deal with home or auto insurance

Whats a good price for auto insurance?

I'm a part-time employee that makes about 210-250$ a week. I drive about 50 mi. 4-5 days a week. I am trying to pay for tuition (3000 a quarter) and a cell phone bill as well (100 a month). I just want a rough estimate on what I should need. When I talk to a representative I feel like he wants to get the most out of me. When I try to pick out a quote myself, I tend to think of the worst cast scenario and opt for the better plans. My plans always come-out to be 220 a month. Is that high or just right? I just need a little guidance by my peers or by older folks that have been down this road before. Thank you very much.""

How much would it cost to insure a pontiac firebird?

Im turning 16 soon and will be getting a car I was wondering how much money it would cost to insure a 1997 Pontiac Firebird.

How does getting a new state license affect your car insurance?

I have a TN driver license. I have a couple of violations on it. I just moved to SC, and I am going to get a SC driver license. I am going to be buying car insurance soon. When they look up my record off of my new SC driver license, will the violation/accident from my TN driver license show?""

Can a good credit score get you cheaper insurance?

Can a good credit score really lower your insurance rates?

Would any car insurance company insure a 17 year old with a 1988 BMW?

I'm just curious if any insurance companies would insure a 17 year old 1988 BMW: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201230480212123/sort/default/usedcars/price-to/1000/body-type/convertible/price-from/0/make/bmw/onesearchad/used/onesearchad/nearlynew/onesearchad/new/keywords/sport/page/1/radius/1501/postcode/ct66ae?logcode=p I know it will cost a lot but I would like to know if it would be hard to find an insurance company that would accept a 17 year old to drive it under their policy!

How much is the average car insurance per month?

Ok so im 18 years old, i still live with my parents and im looking to get a car. SO how much would insurance be per month? I plan to get the car in my name so i am wondering if i can get the insurance in my name or will i go under my parents insurance? My parents don't have a car at the moment so if i get my own car under my name can i get insurance in my name even though im still living with them?""

What are the associated costs of adding different types of coverage to auto insurance?

What are the associated costs of adding different types of coverage to auto insurance?

Insurance for a motorcycle?

How much will insurance cost me... details - live in los angeles - 15 about to start classes and everything in march when im 15 1/2 - want to drive a suzuki gsx-r600 - gpa is around a B average

Cheap sr22 insurance?

I'm looking for a cheap sr22 insurance. Anyone can help me? Thanks

What is the average annual/weekly contents insurance cost?

What is yours or what is the average?

""My husband has bad knee pain, but doesn't want to go to the dr. due to having no insurance.?""

my husband dislocated his knee 3 months ago and has been in excruciating pain lately. He can't bend, walk on, put weight on his knee without it giving out and making him fall. He wont go to the dr, since we don't have any insurance (in orange co, calif) and he feels that IF he does go then they will put him in a brace or something that will hinder him from working. And since we are living paycheck to paycheck we can't afford to have him miss a lot of work. Meanwhile, he is in a very, very grumpy mood (which I can understand) and he keeps getting himself drunk so the pain will go away or is more manageable yet we all know that it wont help. Is there any advice as to what to do to make him go to the Dr? or does anyone know of a place that we can go that will actually help him out with the xray/mri/ct that he will most likely need??""

Where can I get affordable group health insurance?

I am a college student who has alot of anxiety right now due to the recent divorce of my parents. I would greatly benefit from having psychological treatment right now but I have no insurance & it is expensive. Does anybody know of an insurance that would cover this?

Young drivers car insurance uk?

I am 17 trying to find a car ive tryed suzuki alto1.0 and a clio 1.2 and both cost of 10,000-12,000 on go compare and compare market . I know insurance is high but come on it has locked garage immobilser fitted and I have no conviction any help just want a company with a lot lower price any ideas part from dont drive""

Insurance On First Vehicle?

If you buy a used vehicle (in Indiana) and your 15 and your not going to drive it for another couple of months, is it still required you have insurance for it even though your not going to drive it for a while. And if there is an amount of time you have to get insurance, how long is that?""

""Chrysler 300c, tax and insurance?

how much would it cost to insure and tax the 300c for a year and do they drink on petrol cheers

Insurance help please?

hi, does anyone recommend an insurance company for 18 year olds? the quotes i keep getting are around 2000 quid. my mate has a 1.4 corsa and his is 1400 - am i missing something? thanks in advance. additional: i have a 1.4 golf, it has the same bhp as a corsa.""

Health Insurance- pre existing condition?

How do I find a health insurance company that will cover a pre exiting condition?

CAR INSURANCE FOR A 18 YEAR OLD?

would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.

Cheap car insurance for 17 year old?

Where can I get car insurance for under 1000? Thanks x

Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?

Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?

insurance quotes canada

insurance quotes canada

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/https-wwwhumanacom-insurance-plan-quotes-aoalanding-sanid-thomas/"

[yourcertainstudentlight-blog]

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

"What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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What qualifies you for Medicaid in California?

Im 19years old. im in school but didnt get enough classes to stay on my parents insurance. now i dont have any and i only make like 600 dollars a month. i also dont get any financial aid for school. IM not pregnant or anything, i just need insurance. How much would it cost me per month to have Medicaid? Do i even Qualify? What does it cover if i do? How long would it take to get on it? PLease help im stressing so much about this.""

How much would insurance cost with a 2000 mustang convertible? HELP PLEASE!?

I'm a 16 yer old, and I have insurance with geico. I want to buy a 2000 ford mustang covertable. I was wonder if anyone knew about how much my familys insurance would go up. I realize I can call geico but my dad won't let me, ha. So any ideas? Thanks!""

Car insurance price?

i'm now 17, i'm gonna get my license next month, i'm wonder how much car insurance will cost, i'm international student and i live with my uncle in aparterment. i would like to buy my own insurance one not just add to family insurance, please to me exaclty how much it cost for my insurance""

Buying a new car but confused on car insurance...what should I do?

I am going to be part exchanging my old car for a new one. In terms of car insurance I still have 2 months left so I believe its cheaper if I just go with another insurance company as my current insurance might charge a lot for just 2 months. I am thinking of using my previous insurance NCB( elephant 1 year ) for the new insurance as proof of my NCB but the problem is I sent my NCB 1(year) (elephant) to my current insurance(Directline). Basically I would like to know if its possible to use my previous NCB (Elephant) which I it proves I have 1 year no claims for the new car insurance. I done some research and found it that having 2 years NCB makes 20 compared to 1 year NCB. What should I do?

Can I tax my car with learner driver insurance?

My cars tax is due soon and I understand that in order to renew the tax on it you must have valid driving insurance. As I am currently learning how to drive in my car I was wondering if I could still tax my car even though I have temporary learner driver insurance? Thanks

Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old male on a Vauxhall Corsa?

I'm looking to buy a 1.0 Litre Corsa, but all quotes are coming out at around 2500. I've even tried the companies that monitor you by GPS and there prices are even more expensive :L Please, any cheap companies, or tips and tricks to get the price down?""

Insurance costs for two and planning for a baby?

Hello Gurus, I am getting my wife to the USA and i should buy insurance since we are planning to have a baby. Any suggestions on which insurance to go with? I need a good coverage and affordable too. Any help greatly appreciated. Thanks, Raj Thanks, Raj""

Will my car insurance go up?

I live in the state of Missouri and I got my first speeding ticket. I have Travelers insurance. Does anyone know if my rate will go up or do they let the first one slide?

How much does insurance generally cover in a minor accident?

I was backing out of a parking lot space and I backed into a newer Lexus! This was my first accident and I am 18 years old! The damage was kind of minor and the estimate came out to $568.00 *we didnt call 911 How much will my insurance cover? P.S.I have state farm auto insurance

What is the difference between farmer's insurance and state farm?

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Questions about car insurance(Personal Injury Protection)?

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_4cB1MyCtlwM/TN8WP-b6ciI/AAAAAAAAA70/PKN_oape-9s/PIP.jpg http://lh3.ggpht.com/_4cB1MyCtlwM/TN8WQEQb-UI/AAAAAAAAA74/K7-lBKERzf8/GEICO_%E9%A1%B5%E9%9D%A2_1.jpg It is my first time buying an used car, the car does not worth too much money, so the insurance is more about people, not car. Can someone help explain the choices in Personal Injury Protection ? Especially for the word waived , what does the word mean here? Is my car insurance(amount) reasonable? How is the geico price? I did not compare with other insurance companies. Thanks.""

Is it typically cheaper to pay car insurance monthly ? semiannually? or annually?

Is it typically cheaper to pay car insurance monthly ? semiannually? or annually?

Why is insurance on an s2000 so expensive?

I have been looking for used cars in the 10-15 grand range as my second car, currently drive a miata, and I am stuck on a few cars: -01-02 s2000 -01 m5 -01-03 s4 I just recently turned 18, and took my driving test, and passed. I'm a male, about to graduate highschool with above a 3.0 and am already enrolled for a Junior College starting in Fall. I haven't received a violation yet, and I don't think I will any time soon. I was just wondering why insurance on an s2000 is MORE expensive than an m5 or s4. I was really sold on the s2000 because its 4 cylinders naturally aspirated (cheap on gas), a convertible, and relatively pretty. All of this was great news, until I saw how much insurance would be for this car. Lets look at the facts for these cars s2000: 2 door convertible 237hp/153lbft RWD 2 Liter N/A 4 cylinder top speed: 155 0-60: 5.5 - 6 seconds m5: 4 door Hardtop 394hp - I don't know the torque RWD 4.9 liter Naturally Aspirated v8 top speed: ~180 mph / 155 mph with limiter 0-60: 4.7-5 seconds s4: 4 door Hardtop 261HP/I do not know the torque AWD 2.7 Liter Twin Turbo v6 top speed: do not know/ limited to 155mph 0-60: 5.5 seconds I know that the small size of the car may make the s2000 unsafe, but the m5 is much more of a car than the s2000, and in my opinion much, MUCH more unsafe than the s2000. The s2000 is a sports car, but what is the m5 then, a 4 door family car? It is much more than that. High performance sports car in my opinion would be much more apropriate. If you are knowledgeable in the area of car insurance, i.e. you are a insurance agent or work for an insurance company, could you please let me know why an 18 year old has a easier time insuring an m5 or s4 than an s2000 under the exact same plan? Thanks for reading, and if you answer, thank you for answering. Have a nice day!""

Is there a life insurance that can be purchased for a 90 year old lady?

Is there a life insurance that can be purchased for a 90 year old lady?

Get insurance on car if title not in my name?

I am wanting to make payments to a freind for this car until it is paid off. The title is in his name, can I get insurance on it for myself even though the title is not in my name?""

""How do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling?""

how do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling when I'm writing a business plan? We finally have found a great location for a bar and grill we have wanted to open and a business plan requires a lot of estimating costs and I want to find the most accurate figures so that I can set myself up for success.""

Private health insurance plan needed?

I was layed off and need to enroll into a health insurance plan. My Cobra is going to be 700 just for me alone. I really need to have insurance but that's sooo expensive any hints or help is very much appreciated.

What are the best health insurance options for independant business owners?

A dear friend is purchasing a Salon soon. She has covered all her financial bases and made smart choices so far. HEr main concern now is health insurance. She has always worked for a company that provided insurance, with an employee contribution. She and her husband are african american, about 45 yrs old, the husband smokes, she does not. What are the options out there that are affordable? Cobra will do for now, but as you know, full health insurance premiums are very high, what reccommendations do you have?""

16 years old can I get insurance ?

K so I'm 16 getting a 2002 BMW m3 how much will insurance be with just the cheapest I can get how much will insurance be ??? 10 points

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Will Insurance goes up when I change my car motor?

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WHAT CAR INSURANCE COMPANY IS THE CHEAPEST IN NJ?

""Need a dentist, but have no insurance.

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I want to buy a new car in the 2000's. I know that when you a brand new car you have to pay for collision insurance and I don't want to have to pay for that. What is the oldest year car that I can buy without having to worry about the collision insurance?

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Insurance Cost For Mustang GT?

19 year old Male South Carolina 2 tickets full coverage 2003 Mustang GT 90k miles

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Who has the Cheapest NJ Car Insurance? Home owners insurance? Life Etc?

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""Looking for a good car insurance agency but not too expensive, any advise ?""

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Car Insurance pay out when vehicle written off?

My car has been written off and my insurance have offered my 1,250 for it. They said they use some Glass Vehicle Valuation thing so I went on it's website n had the car valued myself n there's 5 categories for pricing the vehicle: Trade-in Excellent condition - 1,376 Trade-in Average condition - 1,210 Trade-in below average condition - 1,066 Dealer sale price - 2,640 Private seller price - 2,221 Which is the price I should get for my car? It was an 02 plate Renault Megane Coupe Privilege + in excellent condition! I found the same car in a different colour on Auto Trader for 2,000. I think I should get the private seller price as I am effectively selling them my car and not trading it in!? My car was set on fire btw! Awoke at 3am to the thing in flames just a few feet away from my house! ='(""

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Motorcycle insurance?

what would be a reasonable monthly rate for motorcycle insurance? For an 18 year old male, with a 125cc honda CL125S two-seater. In Pittsburg, PA. Looking for low-end prices.""

If the 12/31/08 account for prepaid insurance is 3100 and the annual insurance payment is 6000 and this?

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No health insurance? need prenatal care and sonograms?

i don't have any health insurance and have become pregnant, what do i need to do until my health insurance can kick in or until i can have the baby then get affordable health ...show more""

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Someone with insurance rear ended me. I took his insurance information and called his insurance the following day to report the accident. The person who rear ended me did not call the insurance and he is not responding to his own insurance who are trying to get ahold of him to confirm the accident. It's been three weeks. His insurance called me yesterday and said that I need to use my own insurance for get my car fixed. I have a note written by the person who rear ended me admitting that he did cause the accident. What legal actions can I take against the person who rear ended me?

Second driver for my parents car insurance?

well im a full time college student so i can't pay for my car insurance at the moment. whats the requirements for putting myself as a second driver to my parents car? ive had one car accident and been cancelled twice in my own name to 2 different car insurance. (family member passed away and i had to use the cash to go abroad) anyways.. will that effect me to putting me as a second driver to my parents car?? .. (with their name on the car) i mean.. my parents will pay for me so i dont see the problem for me getting rejected by the insurance for my prior non payment cancelation. please help me.

Health insurance coverage for my 88 yr old mother with dementia?

our 88 year old mom who has dementia has medicare part a & b, with Aetna supplement. We need to relocate mom back home since she doesn''t have the funds to stay at the dementia home she is currently in. Payments keep rising. Due to the medicaid five year stepdown, she will be eligible in two years. Until then, we will keep her at home, however, is there a health coverage that will be able to cover any major health catastrophy, should one occur in next two years before Medicaid kicks in? We are willing to relocate with mom to a state that has this kind of coverage. Right now we live in New York, which in itself is very expensive and we are considering moving to help cover mom's costs. Where and what do you recommend?""

""I'm living in Japan, looking for private health insurance. Can anyone recommend a good *affordable company?""

I'm an expat, planning on spending most of my life here in Japan. The national health insurance is good but a bit expensive. So if anyone knows a good expat health insurance company that is somewhat comprehensive, please send the information my way. I only have to cover myself and I have my own business.""

Which insurance company is best?

ok so im 19 and just got my drivers license a few months ago (i never really needed it before now). its tax time and im buying a van to fit all the kids i lug around. well since i've never had to get auto insurance im not sure on what place would be best to go to. i know my age and how long i havent had my DL will effect how much i pay, but im trying to go the cheapest route possible. does anyone have advice on where to go? also what is a 'premium'? i did a free quote online and it told me what my downpayment would be, my monthly payment. and my premium? plz help""

Help i need cheap auto insurance.?

i have a 2001 pontiac grand prix gt and i am 19 years old and i live at zip code 48726 i need cheap car insurance can you help please

Can I insure my car for more than it's worth?

I recently spent a lot of money getting my car into great condition. I don't want to have an accident and have the insurance company only give me a quarter of what I put into it, just because the book value of it is low. I have USAA if that makes a difference.""

What insurance company will give me the cheapest full coverage policy on a sportbike?

I'm 23, I have one year of riding experience, and i have no traffic convictions. I'm looking to go no higher than a 600. I live in an apartment, and I will have a lojack installed. I can't seem to find a policy for less than 3,000 bucks a year.""

What the average of a male 25 year old would pay for car insurance?

i planning on buying a dodge charge 2013 and getting my own car insurances i want to know around how much i would pay i'm been driving for 6 years already but with my parents insurances. but now i want to get my own car insurance

Where is good for recovery truck insurance?

hi can anyone help me .been searching for recovery truck insurance .but not having much luck .anyone send me a link or tell me a site that i can try please many thanks

Will applying for medicaid affect the insurance I have now in any way?

I am 32 weeks pregnant and I am covered under my dad's insurance through Tricare. I remain eligible under his insurance until I am 23 and everything is full coverage. However, as soon as my baby is born he is not covered at all. I am looking into my options and I read that if I apply for medicaid now, then I can call the day my baby is born and just have him added on so that way he will have coverage right away. I am worried if I do try and apply for medicaid now that it will affect the insurance I am covered under now by Tricare. I do want to stay under tricare, I do not want to lose this insurance and its coverage if that is the case. I am also worried that since I have to wait until the baby is born to apply him for his own insurance through CHIP or Medicaid - whichever one he ends up qualifying - that I will have to wait a long time before he is actually covered and I know the baby is going to need check ups and a pediatrician right away. I am really worried about all this and wondering what is my best option and what I should do! Will I lose my insurance if I apply for Medicaid in advanced so my baby will be covered right away? Is my best option waiting until the day he is born and then applying? I also live in PA if that makes any difference. Anybody who can help out, thanks!""

What are some cheap diesel cars to insure?

This is for my first car. I would prefer a diesel but the engine sizes are usually larger so what are some diesel cars with a small engine? Don't really care about the engine as long as its cheap to insure.

Fastest accelerating car in the insurance group 1-3?

Hello, I am going to be turning 17 shortly and would like some advise on which car that would be very responsive and quick. My budget for the car itself is 1450 but there could be a bit of flexibility. As I am sure you all know, insurance for new drivers is very high, so I want something in between groups one and three as I believe that is the area that I can afford. Could I also please ask for serious answers. I am not not wanting to drive irresponsibly, if that is a worry to some contributors. Thanks.""

Health Insurance and Pre-existing Conditions?

What kinds of pre-existing conditions can give you a problem when getting your own health insurance?

I hit a dog last night with my car what should i tell my insurance company now that its the next day?

I don't care about paying a deductible just need it fixed asap so I can get back on the road damages will cost to much to pay on my on

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

What is the cheapest auto insurance for a 16 year old with a 4 door Tacoma?

like allstate, nationwide, geico, progressive.""

Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

Does anyone know of any good companies? I'm hoping to spend around 1500 (or less is possible) Directline is the closest I have come to this. The car is a 1998 Ford Fiesta Ghia 1.25L

""What is the average cost for an underage driver, with a new car, on their parent's policy?

I am 17 and I am considering getting my license and buying a car. How much is the average price of insurance in my position?

""How did the United States healthcare system develop? e.g. health insurance, Medicare.?""

Why does the United States have health insurance? It is optional to have health insurance, because it is not required by any law, unlike auto insurance. I would like to know where the system of health insurance got it's roots.""

If i drive less than 40 miles a day am I really entitled to more affordable car insurance?

You probably notice these ads on yahoo saying if you drive less than 40 miles you are entitled to cheap insurance to click on their ads to find out more. I was wondering if that true, what 's the trick?""

Best choice for auto insurance?

I'm 16 and just got my drivers license and need auto insurance. What would be my best choice?

How can I get heath insurance?

Im 21 college student and just got layed off I havent had health insurance for like 3 years and I need to go to a doctor like a gyno anywayz im going to the social services office to see if I can get like a low cost health insurance from the state or something I live in ct... but if they don't help me how much health insurance is a month? I can't afford more then 50 dollars a month I just got layeoff and I don't like getting help from the state but I really need to see a doctor

Why not make Health Insurance mandatory like Car Insurance?

Why not make Health Insurance mandatory like Car Insurance?

What's the average compression ratio for a car to be considered a sports car?

I know each insurance company has they're own compression ratio's for car but what would be the AVERAGE

How much does a checkup usually cost with insurance?

I just want to have a yearly checkup, and we have medical insurance. I know each place is going to cost more than another,etc. but what's a generaly price for a check up with insurance in alabama?""

Insurance for a Car Loan..?

The thing is.. I have just recently gotten my aunt to co-sign for a loan on a 2001 Chrysler Sebring lxi. Me and my boyfriend will be the ones who have the car, but me on the other hand, I currently have a Learners Permit so i'm unable to drive it but my boyfriend has a license therefore he can. So for the Financial Company who is loaning us the money has me on file because i'm the only one with income since he doesn't have a job. The problem i have is that the financial company has my information but I can't get insurance for myself as i will not be driving the car, ONLY my boyfriend. So my question is, since i hold a learners permit and he has the license and will be driving, can i just put his name for the insurance? The financial company asked for Proof of Insurance but i don't know if they'll allow him to have the insurance in his name since the loan is in mine? I don't want to get denied because of that one factor since i already got accepted for the loan. I'm sorry, i'm new at all at this :/ Any help would be appreciated, Thanks!""

Cheapest car insurance for 1.4L Polo - 17 years old.?

i have a 2001 Volkswagen Polo 1.4 Automatic i cant get any automatic small engine cars, the smallest is 1.4L, theres the 1.0L auto Vauxhall Corsa - but i don't want that, everyone has it. What company does the cheapest insurance? Quinn Direct have gone bust. UK""

Where do I get low rate insurance in Toronto?

I am 56 and clean driver. My daughter is 25 and new driver.Which company can give me a better low rate insurance in Toronto?

Most reasonable health insurance?

what is the most reasonable costing health insurance in southern california? I saw a few with low premiums, high deductables(common), but very few office visits covered, other than paying up to deductable. I need, for my family, high deductable, low premium, low priced generic prescriptions, and preferably unlimited office visits at a set rate ($20-$35) per visit. having alot of trouble finding all that. Anthem had almost all, except barely any office visits unless you pay an ultra high monthly. any suggestions?? thanks!!!!""

Life insurance? i dont feel right about this company?

Hi i applied for life insurance through sun life financial. are they a good company? who do you get your life insurance from? is it even important? anyways, they still havent drawn up my policy since i have applied, even though was approved. All i was looking for was a simple life insurance i can afford, and they added in a whole bunch of accessories to go along with it. anyways, they keep coming back for many tests. which would have been hell of a lot convenient if they did these tests all in one place in one time. rather than having to do 4 or 5 tests over the past 4 months. it drives me crazy now that they are always phoning, needing this and that...now im starting to consider if i even want my life insurance with them also, is it even necessary to have life insurance along with critical illness and disability? i am just a studetn on a budget with two young boys at home. whats your take?""

Can my daughter be on my mom's car insurance even if they don't live together?

Hi, my name is Kathy, I'm 19 year old female and want to buy a car but car insurance is just expensive. I want to be put on my grandmothers car insurance but we don't live in the same city. Do you think it would be possible for me to get on there! Thanks for your answers...""

Will this make my car insurance cheaper?

Hi, I'm only 15 so not anywhere near needing to buy car insurance, but unlike most teenagers, I am very interested in cars, and am already thinking about my first car, obviously I won't be getting an Aston v12 vantage, but I'd like a decent car, at the moment during the holidays I have junior driving lessons on an airfield, which are proven to make young drivers safer, I will have probably have had around 10 by the time I'm 17, will this make my insurance cheaper? Or will it just be for my own safety? Thank you""

Will calling insurance over a cracked windshield raise my insurance rates?

I have Geico insurance for the past 8 years. I have not made one claim in that 8 year time frame. I was driving down the highway last week when something struck my windshield and spider cracked it pretty good. Should I pay it out of my pocket or call the insurance. Will my rates go up for making a windshield claim?

How much would my insurance rate differ if i bought a car with cash or financed?

I am 16 years old and the quote i received for buying the car in cash was about 1200 a year. how much more would my insurance be if i financed ?

""I need Health insurance, is it possible to get it?

Im 20 yrs. old and i work and am a full-time student but don't seem to make enough for health insurance and i got knee issues. How could I RECEIVE GOV. ASSISTANCE ?.What would be my best plan??

What value does insurance companies go by to determine if car is totaled or not?

I have 2001 honda civic ex with 140,600 miles on it. I recently wrecked it and the body work, paint, and labor is coming up to $3900. There is some work under the hood that needs to be done, but I was told to get a seperate estimate for that and contact the insurance company. How much does the repairs have to amount to before the car is considered totaled???""

Can i sue my insurance company for hit and run?

I live in Yuma, Arizona. I'm 15 I Have my motorcycle permit i can drive from sunrise to sunset Okay February 21st YESTERDAY at 3pm Me and my brothers were going to jack in the box they took our car (1996 Isuzu rodeo) and i took my motorcycle (1994 Kawasaki ZX-6) we were going down this curved street they are on the left lane I'm on the right lane and this Winter bird (An older person from out of state that comes down to living in our city in the winter) pulls out on my right lane. While he's doing this i horn my horn he looks back and completes his turn and the brakes and doesn't move... i'm down shifting and my rear wheel locks up when i downshifted my bike shakes and i going onto the curb my bike gets eating up from the curb and i go over the curb and start to eat **** my hip and left get bruised i was wearing this thick overcoat my arm gets road-rash and then the old *** man drives off... doesn't even assist me... my brothers flip a U and we pull my bike to the side of the road and go to the hospital at the hospital we called the police they took pictures of my motorcycle and skid marks on the road then take my statement and brothers i wanted to know can i sue my insurance for anything? I'm not sure what coverage i have I'll add more detail tomorrow Monday morning Here are some pictures of the motorcycle P.S. I'm not sure if you can see but my front tire is flat it got a hole from the accident http://s186.photobucket.com/albums/x262/JokerSmokes/?action=view&current=crash1.jpg http://s186.photobucket.com/albums/x262/JokerSmokes/?action=view&current=crash2.jpg http://s186.photobucket.com/albums/x262/JokerSmokes/?action=view&current=crash3.jpg http://s186.photobucket.com/albums/x262/JokerSmokes/?action=view&current=crash4.jpg What broke Front tire Possible bent rim front brake lever Oil casing headlight windshield possible gears and chain my muffler my front right flaring my bottom flaring""

What is the cheapest auto insurance for college students?

There are so many companies I can't check them all. I should mention that I live in Michigan. I'm not a full time student so I generally don't apply for those discounts. But I have a clean driving record and have had my license for almost six years. So far I have found the esurance is the cheapest. But I was wondering if there is anything cheaper out there?

How much does liability insurance cost? How much coverage do I need?

I am planning a day camp this august. I know I need to purchase liability insurance just in case, but how much do I need? There will be a maximum of 140 girls, 55 leaders, and 30 younger siblings (of leaders), (thats 225 people). The minumum would be roughly 50 girls, 25 leaders, and 10 siblings... I just need a guestimate as I am working on the budget and am trying to figure out how much to charge the attendees.Also, how much coverage do I need?""

I just gave up my car and turned in my insurance?

I just gave up my car and turned in my insurance .I will drive my childrens cars from time to time .My insurance coverage was adequate and included an auto liability of $1,000,000.bodily inj of $1,000,000 and property damage the same .Since my children have only the minimum ,how can I continue to get the same protection when driving their cars.""

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/aaa-vs-farmers-home-auto-insurance-roger-luther"

[samanthasroberts]

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

On Valentines Day, you can always buy your partner chocolate. For Mothers Day, a spa gift certificate is asafe bet. But gifts for dads?The standard go-to Fathers Day gift is a tie, and its pretty lame. Then again, dads usually make gift giving even more challenging by insisting they want nothing this year. So, what can you do for the dad who doesnt want anything?

Thankfully, there are lots ofgenius products any dadwould lovethatgo way beyond Number 1 Dad mugs and novelty T-shirts. You can actually find Fathers Day presents that seem to do the impossible be something your dad would actually use.

Whether your dad is into unique grilling tools or having a robot clean his floors, get him something he actually wants so that when he opens up the Worlds Best Farter (I mean father) T-shirt you mistakenly thought would be funny, youre not the only one laughing. Better yet, you wont ever have to relive the day when you called his bluff and actually got him nothing. (Ive done that, and the look of disappointment is gut-wrenching.)

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

For Fathers Day, give him the beautiful gift of an ice-cold beer. I dont mean pick up a six-pack and put a bow on it, but get your dad these instant beer coolers. Keepthe Corkcicles in the freezer, and when a warm beer emergency strikes, just pop the Corkcicle into the bottle, and boom, instantly chilled brew. Its perfect for barbecues, parties, or anytime your dad forgot to put his beer in the fridge.

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

Your dad might not be aware of the glory of watching Netflix on his phone or tablet, but with this stand, hell be converted. The stand can also be usedas a grip for easier texting and calling. Italso folds completely flat, so you can keep it on your phone and still fit yourcell in your pocket.

Plus, its way easier to hold onto your phone with this grip, so therell be way fewer instances of dropping the phone and cracking the screen. (And if youre asking if you should buy a second for yourself, the answer is.)

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

One Amazon user wrote: This board game prompted the first time Trump and fun appeared in a same sentence of mine. Playing it on a number of occasions, with different crowds, each time it delivered laughs, catharsis, and knowledge I grew up in New York and I didnt know Trump did all of those things, said one of our guests. Besides holding up as an enjoyably competitive board game (players take turns being all-powerful CEO), is full of fascinating, funny, and yes, sometimes frightening facts about the 45th president.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

No matter how technologically savvy your dad might be, hell sometimes get caught with a dead cell battery. This high-capacity external batteryfeatures three USB outlets to charge your electronics quickly. If thats not enough, it also features a strong LED flashlight, so if hes ever caught in a blackout, this battery will make him the most popular person in the room.

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

OK, a coffee mug doesnt sound like a genius gift, but this is a pretty exceptional mug. This lid seals super tight, so youll never have a leak or spill. Plus,vacuum insulationkeeps drinks hot for seven hours (perfect for when he inevitably forgets he poured himself a cup.)

On Amazon, this mug hasalmost 14,000 reviews, and one user wrote: This is the best coffee mug I have ever owned. bottom line: lives up to its promise. I actually forgot this mug in my office before a meeting and when I came back for it six hours later the coffee was still STEAMING.

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

If your dad loves to grill, hell love it even more when he can tear it apart with these meat claws. You can use these to lift hot meal off the grill, shred it, or just pretend to be a grilling beast. The clawsare BPA-free, so you dont have to worry about melting or any kind of plastic contamination. Since theyre dishwasher safe, clean up is easy and wearing claws while you cook just makes everything more fun.

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

The days of briefcases are over and your dad needs something thats comfortable and professional looking to carry his laptop. Thats where this backpack comes in. It can hold any laptop under 17 inches and has 15 pockets to keep all his things separate and organized. Fully waterproof, he can carry his laptop in the rain without worry. Plus, the bag is extra futuristic with its external USB port to keep his electronic charged.

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

If your dad doesnt have a lot of time in the morning but needs his coffee, this travel press will make his day. Just throw in grounds and some boiling water and the travel press brews the coffee on the go. It has a double micro-filter so he wont end up drinking bits of grounds and the double-walled stainless steel cup keeps the coffee warm all day.

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

If your dad loves to drill you with crazy hypothetical questions, he will love this book.Finally, we all get to know the answer to the question, How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? The book is full of very serious, scientifically accurate answer to insanely crazy questions.

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

Whether your dad used to love his Gameboy or always resented Santa for never getting him one, give dad a taste of childhood with this handheld retro gaming console. This console plays almost any old cartridge (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Genesis) and the player is light enough to take anywhere. You get about eight hours of playtime per charge, so itll get your dad (and lets be honest, )through any future road trips or train commutes.

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

Bottle openers have a magical way of disappearing every time you need one. Dont let your dad fish around the kitchen drawers for an hour, get him this bottle opener magnet. Stick in your fridge and youre done. The super strong magnet will stay put and youll never lose your opener again.

The magnet is non-scratch, so it wont mess up the high-tech fridge your dad spent a fortune on, and can easily take it on and of if you ever need the bottle opener elsewhere. Plus, its made of stainless steel, so itll hold up to years of steady bottle opening.

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

Its surprising how often you need to use your tablet in the kitchen, but dont want to lay it on the counter to get immediately covered in hot spaghetti sauce. This kitchen stand solves the problem.It can hold any size tablet or even a Nintendo Switch, just in case your dad has a game going that he really cant put down. You can attach it to a wall or cabinet, or remove the mount completely and use it as a table stand.

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

If your dads record collection is gathering dust, get him this new turntable. The turntable features three speeds and speakers, so you have everything you need to play all your vinyl plus, it comes with an input jack, so you can hook up a smartphone or MP3 player to its speaker.

But the best part is that this turntable comes with a USB port and audio software so you can transfer your records to MP3s. This gift is the best of old and new school and will suit all of your dads musical needs for years to come.

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

For a movie-loving dad, this mini-projector will make his day. Its a compact size but 50 percentbrighter than a standard LED projector and only a portion of the price. You can connect your phone, tablet, computer, USB drive, or HD setup boxand see it projected on a screen or blank wall. Forget about a 75-inch TV, this can give you up to a 176-inch projection.

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Dad might be a little shy about asking for a massage or a gift certificate to a spa, but hell definitely appreciate this deep-kneading massager. Use it at home, in the car, or at the office to reduce shoulder tension, neck aches, or back pain. The rotating nodes imitate a professional shiatsu massage, so those troublesome shoulder knots will be gone in no time.

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

The Game of Thingsis a great board game thats easy to play and helps you get to know all the players better. Everyone playing gets a topic on a card, each player writes down an answer, and you have to guess who said what. This isnt about trivia or getting an answer right, but trying to come up with a fun answer and seeing how well you know the players at hand.

The game is more innocent than Cards Against Humanity since you get topicslike Things you would do with a million dollars or Things you shouldnt do in an elevator. So, you can play it with the whole family without hearing anything too embarrassing, but its also really fun and you might find out how hilarious your dad really is.

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

Dads often like to pretend that theyre so strong that nothing gets to them. But everybody gets stressed sometimes, and dads are no different. This acupressure mat and pillow set is designed to trigger pressure points to relax the muscles and relieve tension and stress. The product claims that laying on the mat for 10minutes a day can help release endorphins that block pain and youll feel shoulder, back, and neck issues slowly melt away. Plus, the pressure points increase blood flow so muscles repair faster and you feel a little more energized.

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Your dad needs something to contain the multitude of ties from previous Fathers Days. This motorized tie rack holds up to 72 ties and eight belts. It rotates with ease at the touch of a button, so your dad can look through his prodigious collection to pick out only the best tie for his day. To make it even cooler, the rack had LED lights, so he wont have to worry about selecting a tie from the back of a dark closet.

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

If your dads a man who rocks a suit and tie, keep him looking clean and classy with these collar stays. Though collar stays soundpretty old-timey and you probably dont know WTF they do, they actually make a huge difference. These stays are designed to fit all collared shirts with eight adjustable positions. In just a couple seconds, your dad can pop these on and never have to worry about having a floppy or sloppy collar ever again.

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

A good face wash isnt just for women. Most dads might not be up for adopting a thorough skin regime, but they can definitely use this all-in-one cleanser. This does everything its a face wash, toner, and exfoliating scrub all in one bottle. It has natural ingredients like aloe vera, vitamin C, willow bark, and burdock root to cleanse and tone the skin.

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

If your dad is a true beer lover, hell be overjoyed with this beer dispenser. It was featured on, and it turns any old can or bottle of beer into a draft-quality brew. You can use any style of beer from stouts to IPAs and there no gas or chemicals used in the product. Just pop in four AA batteries and your canned beer is transformed into a full flavored draft.

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

If your dads not a fan of getting up in the morning (guess we know where you get it from!), this alarm clock will make his life a lot easier. Its easy to set, and you can completely customize the sound, volume, and frequency of your morning alarm. Plus, it works as a smartphone dock and speaker, so you can play music at night or in the morning without leaving your bed. (And if it just so happens to find its way to your room instead of your parents, we wont tell.)

Dont worry that a phone call will come in a ruin your sleep, this alarm uses Smart Silence which automatically blocks all but emergency calls. Plus, you can use it as a white noise machine to help you drift off.

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

This caffeine shampoo isntmade to give dad extra energy in his morning shower, but to help withhair growth. The shampoo contains Vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize the scalp and hair, while the caffeine stimulates the roots of the hair to encourage growth.

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

is an amazing website with tons of interestingfacts about bizarre places and stories from around the world. Thankfully, the site put their very best stories into thisbook. If your dad loves travel, adventure, or even weird history, hell absolutely love this book.

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

First of all, how many backup batteries come in fake sardine cans? Just this one. Inside the cool 3-D printedcase is a powerful USB charger that works with almost any smartphone or tablet.You get about two iPhone charges out of this battery, so you dont have to worry about constantly plugging it into a charger.

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

If your dad loves making pizza as much as he doeseating it, this cast iron pan will make a perfect gift. Cast iron is the best material forheating evenly and staying hot, which makes it a great choice when making pizza. The reason cast iron pans arent used more often is that they can be a pain to season, which is the process used to prepare the cast iron for cooking.

But this pan is pre-seasoned and ready to pop in the oven. Cast iron is incredibly sturdy and never bends out of shape or loses even-heating capacity, so itll last a lifetime. Plus, if you get this for your dad, you can guilt him into making you pizza every time you come home. A win-win if Ive ever seen one.

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Your dad will feel like James Bond will this badass multitool. It looks like a simple pen, but it also works as a tablet stylus, ruler for metric and imperial measurement, a bubble level, and comes with a Phillipsand flathead screwdriver.

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

If your dad is more of a Ron Swanson type, hell appreciate this old-school shaving kit. This kit is made with all super high-quality, long-lasting material and gives your dad the experience of a class wet shave. You get an impeccable safety razor, badger hair brush, alum block, stainless steel shave bowl, shave soap, and five extra blades.

If, like me, youre about to google alum block, let me save you so time: its a stone that helps stop bleeding from small cuts and also works to fight razor burn. This stuff is all top of the line and super classy.

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

If your dad is hooked on hot sauce, give him the chance to make his own with this kit.You have everything you need to make up to seven bottles of custom hot sauce. With bags of spices, peppers, glass bottles, labels, and easy-to-read recipe cards, your dad will be making sauce like a pro in no time. It even includes a pack of the super hot Ghost Pepper, so your dad can finally get the spicy mix of his dreams.

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

Is your dad hanging onto a George Constanza-style wallet? Get him this slim billfold to help keep him organized. Made of real leather, this wallet features a minimalist design. You can hold up to 10cards plus cash and the wallet still lays flat and slim. Plus, its equipped with RFID technology to protect your valuable information. Sleek, simple, this wallet is a definite dad pleaser.

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

No matter how advanced video games get, theres something about the classics that are just delightful. If your dads into video games, hell seriously love this throwback collection of games. First of all, the whole thing is shaped like Pac-Man, so its already awesome. Then, you just plug it into your TV and play Pac-Man or 10other games like Galaga, Dig Dug, New Rally X, or the extreme Super Pac-Man.

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

If your dad cant put a book down at bedtime,get him this book lightand save your mom from another sleepless night. The four LED lights are incredibly strong for their size and the lamp can clip anywhere. Dont worry about finding weird little batteries, this light is fully USB rechargeable. Plus, its super light, so dad can take it on trips and keep up his midnight reading wherever he goes.

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

Its tough to stay active when you work at a desk, so if your dad is looking to add a little exercise to his work day, get him this foldable bike. This cycle fits under the desk and folds away for easy carrying or storage. Whether you want a light ride or some heavy tension, the bike offers different resistance levels.

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

If I bought my dad a bracelet, he wouldnt be thrilled. But, if I bought him a magnetic wristband that makes working with tools even easier, hed be cool with it. This wristband features powerful magnets that can hold screws, nails, nut, bolts, basically all the small things that typically fall on the floor when your dads trying to work. Now, he can keep all the bits at hand and not have to worry about searching the floor for the one tiny washer he desperately needs.

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

This isnt a scientific fact, but from my experience, pretty much every dad loves golf. My dad always hated the sport growing up, but now he picks vacation spots based on who has the best course. So, give your dad a chance to practice more often with this portable putting green.

With three practice cups and built in sand traps to keep your putts from going all over the place, your dad will get a chance to seriously up his skills. Plus, its made from lightweight foam, so its easy to carry and only takes seconds to install.

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Ive never met a dad wholoves cleaning the floors, butIve met a lot of dads who love robots. Finally, its all come together with this robot vacuum cleaner. It vacuums, sweeps, dry mops, and removes pet hair all while youre sitting on the couch. When the battery runs out, the robot automatically goes back to its charging station and uses smart sensors so it doesnt fall down the stairs or bump into everything.

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

[jimdsmith34]

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

On Valentines Day, you can always buy your partner chocolate. For Mothers Day, a spa gift certificate is asafe bet. But gifts for dads?The standard go-to Fathers Day gift is a tie, and its pretty lame. Then again, dads usually make gift giving even more challenging by insisting they want nothing this year. So, what can you do for the dad who doesnt want anything?

Thankfully, there are lots ofgenius products any dadwould lovethatgo way beyond Number 1 Dad mugs and novelty T-shirts. You can actually find Fathers Day presents that seem to do the impossible be something your dad would actually use.

Whether your dad is into unique grilling tools or having a robot clean his floors, get him something he actually wants so that when he opens up the Worlds Best Farter (I mean father) T-shirt you mistakenly thought would be funny, youre not the only one laughing. Better yet, you wont ever have to relive the day when you called his bluff and actually got him nothing. (Ive done that, and the look of disappointment is gut-wrenching.)

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

For Fathers Day, give him the beautiful gift of an ice-cold beer. I dont mean pick up a six-pack and put a bow on it, but get your dad these instant beer coolers. Keepthe Corkcicles in the freezer, and when a warm beer emergency strikes, just pop the Corkcicle into the bottle, and boom, instantly chilled brew. Its perfect for barbecues, parties, or anytime your dad forgot to put his beer in the fridge.

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

Your dad might not be aware of the glory of watching Netflix on his phone or tablet, but with this stand, hell be converted. The stand can also be usedas a grip for easier texting and calling. Italso folds completely flat, so you can keep it on your phone and still fit yourcell in your pocket.

Plus, its way easier to hold onto your phone with this grip, so therell be way fewer instances of dropping the phone and cracking the screen. (And if youre asking if you should buy a second for yourself, the answer is.)

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

One Amazon user wrote: This board game prompted the first time Trump and fun appeared in a same sentence of mine. Playing it on a number of occasions, with different crowds, each time it delivered laughs, catharsis, and knowledge I grew up in New York and I didnt know Trump did all of those things, said one of our guests. Besides holding up as an enjoyably competitive board game (players take turns being all-powerful CEO), is full of fascinating, funny, and yes, sometimes frightening facts about the 45th president.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

No matter how technologically savvy your dad might be, hell sometimes get caught with a dead cell battery. This high-capacity external batteryfeatures three USB outlets to charge your electronics quickly. If thats not enough, it also features a strong LED flashlight, so if hes ever caught in a blackout, this battery will make him the most popular person in the room.

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

OK, a coffee mug doesnt sound like a genius gift, but this is a pretty exceptional mug. This lid seals super tight, so youll never have a leak or spill. Plus,vacuum insulationkeeps drinks hot for seven hours (perfect for when he inevitably forgets he poured himself a cup.)

On Amazon, this mug hasalmost 14,000 reviews, and one user wrote: This is the best coffee mug I have ever owned. bottom line: lives up to its promise. I actually forgot this mug in my office before a meeting and when I came back for it six hours later the coffee was still STEAMING.

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

If your dad loves to grill, hell love it even more when he can tear it apart with these meat claws. You can use these to lift hot meal off the grill, shred it, or just pretend to be a grilling beast. The clawsare BPA-free, so you dont have to worry about melting or any kind of plastic contamination. Since theyre dishwasher safe, clean up is easy and wearing claws while you cook just makes everything more fun.

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

The days of briefcases are over and your dad needs something thats comfortable and professional looking to carry his laptop. Thats where this backpack comes in. It can hold any laptop under 17 inches and has 15 pockets to keep all his things separate and organized. Fully waterproof, he can carry his laptop in the rain without worry. Plus, the bag is extra futuristic with its external USB port to keep his electronic charged.

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

If your dad doesnt have a lot of time in the morning but needs his coffee, this travel press will make his day. Just throw in grounds and some boiling water and the travel press brews the coffee on the go. It has a double micro-filter so he wont end up drinking bits of grounds and the double-walled stainless steel cup keeps the coffee warm all day.

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

If your dad loves to drill you with crazy hypothetical questions, he will love this book.Finally, we all get to know the answer to the question, How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? The book is full of very serious, scientifically accurate answer to insanely crazy questions.

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

Whether your dad used to love his Gameboy or always resented Santa for never getting him one, give dad a taste of childhood with this handheld retro gaming console. This console plays almost any old cartridge (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Genesis) and the player is light enough to take anywhere. You get about eight hours of playtime per charge, so itll get your dad (and lets be honest, )through any future road trips or train commutes.

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

Bottle openers have a magical way of disappearing every time you need one. Dont let your dad fish around the kitchen drawers for an hour, get him this bottle opener magnet. Stick in your fridge and youre done. The super strong magnet will stay put and youll never lose your opener again.

The magnet is non-scratch, so it wont mess up the high-tech fridge your dad spent a fortune on, and can easily take it on and of if you ever need the bottle opener elsewhere. Plus, its made of stainless steel, so itll hold up to years of steady bottle opening.

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

Its surprising how often you need to use your tablet in the kitchen, but dont want to lay it on the counter to get immediately covered in hot spaghetti sauce. This kitchen stand solves the problem.It can hold any size tablet or even a Nintendo Switch, just in case your dad has a game going that he really cant put down. You can attach it to a wall or cabinet, or remove the mount completely and use it as a table stand.

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

If your dads record collection is gathering dust, get him this new turntable. The turntable features three speeds and speakers, so you have everything you need to play all your vinyl plus, it comes with an input jack, so you can hook up a smartphone or MP3 player to its speaker.

But the best part is that this turntable comes with a USB port and audio software so you can transfer your records to MP3s. This gift is the best of old and new school and will suit all of your dads musical needs for years to come.

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

For a movie-loving dad, this mini-projector will make his day. Its a compact size but 50 percentbrighter than a standard LED projector and only a portion of the price. You can connect your phone, tablet, computer, USB drive, or HD setup boxand see it projected on a screen or blank wall. Forget about a 75-inch TV, this can give you up to a 176-inch projection.

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Dad might be a little shy about asking for a massage or a gift certificate to a spa, but hell definitely appreciate this deep-kneading massager. Use it at home, in the car, or at the office to reduce shoulder tension, neck aches, or back pain. The rotating nodes imitate a professional shiatsu massage, so those troublesome shoulder knots will be gone in no time.

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

The Game of Thingsis a great board game thats easy to play and helps you get to know all the players better. Everyone playing gets a topic on a card, each player writes down an answer, and you have to guess who said what. This isnt about trivia or getting an answer right, but trying to come up with a fun answer and seeing how well you know the players at hand.

The game is more innocent than Cards Against Humanity since you get topicslike Things you would do with a million dollars or Things you shouldnt do in an elevator. So, you can play it with the whole family without hearing anything too embarrassing, but its also really fun and you might find out how hilarious your dad really is.

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

Dads often like to pretend that theyre so strong that nothing gets to them. But everybody gets stressed sometimes, and dads are no different. This acupressure mat and pillow set is designed to trigger pressure points to relax the muscles and relieve tension and stress. The product claims that laying on the mat for 10minutes a day can help release endorphins that block pain and youll feel shoulder, back, and neck issues slowly melt away. Plus, the pressure points increase blood flow so muscles repair faster and you feel a little more energized.

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Your dad needs something to contain the multitude of ties from previous Fathers Days. This motorized tie rack holds up to 72 ties and eight belts. It rotates with ease at the touch of a button, so your dad can look through his prodigious collection to pick out only the best tie for his day. To make it even cooler, the rack had LED lights, so he wont have to worry about selecting a tie from the back of a dark closet.

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

If your dads a man who rocks a suit and tie, keep him looking clean and classy with these collar stays. Though collar stays soundpretty old-timey and you probably dont know WTF they do, they actually make a huge difference. These stays are designed to fit all collared shirts with eight adjustable positions. In just a couple seconds, your dad can pop these on and never have to worry about having a floppy or sloppy collar ever again.

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

A good face wash isnt just for women. Most dads might not be up for adopting a thorough skin regime, but they can definitely use this all-in-one cleanser. This does everything its a face wash, toner, and exfoliating scrub all in one bottle. It has natural ingredients like aloe vera, vitamin C, willow bark, and burdock root to cleanse and tone the skin.

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

If your dad is a true beer lover, hell be overjoyed with this beer dispenser. It was featured on, and it turns any old can or bottle of beer into a draft-quality brew. You can use any style of beer from stouts to IPAs and there no gas or chemicals used in the product. Just pop in four AA batteries and your canned beer is transformed into a full flavored draft.

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

If your dads not a fan of getting up in the morning (guess we know where you get it from!), this alarm clock will make his life a lot easier. Its easy to set, and you can completely customize the sound, volume, and frequency of your morning alarm. Plus, it works as a smartphone dock and speaker, so you can play music at night or in the morning without leaving your bed. (And if it just so happens to find its way to your room instead of your parents, we wont tell.)

Dont worry that a phone call will come in a ruin your sleep, this alarm uses Smart Silence which automatically blocks all but emergency calls. Plus, you can use it as a white noise machine to help you drift off.

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

This caffeine shampoo isntmade to give dad extra energy in his morning shower, but to help withhair growth. The shampoo contains Vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize the scalp and hair, while the caffeine stimulates the roots of the hair to encourage growth.

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

is an amazing website with tons of interestingfacts about bizarre places and stories from around the world. Thankfully, the site put their very best stories into thisbook. If your dad loves travel, adventure, or even weird history, hell absolutely love this book.

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

First of all, how many backup batteries come in fake sardine cans? Just this one. Inside the cool 3-D printedcase is a powerful USB charger that works with almost any smartphone or tablet.You get about two iPhone charges out of this battery, so you dont have to worry about constantly plugging it into a charger.

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

If your dad loves making pizza as much as he doeseating it, this cast iron pan will make a perfect gift. Cast iron is the best material forheating evenly and staying hot, which makes it a great choice when making pizza. The reason cast iron pans arent used more often is that they can be a pain to season, which is the process used to prepare the cast iron for cooking.

But this pan is pre-seasoned and ready to pop in the oven. Cast iron is incredibly sturdy and never bends out of shape or loses even-heating capacity, so itll last a lifetime. Plus, if you get this for your dad, you can guilt him into making you pizza every time you come home. A win-win if Ive ever seen one.

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Your dad will feel like James Bond will this badass multitool. It looks like a simple pen, but it also works as a tablet stylus, ruler for metric and imperial measurement, a bubble level, and comes with a Phillipsand flathead screwdriver.

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

If your dad is more of a Ron Swanson type, hell appreciate this old-school shaving kit. This kit is made with all super high-quality, long-lasting material and gives your dad the experience of a class wet shave. You get an impeccable safety razor, badger hair brush, alum block, stainless steel shave bowl, shave soap, and five extra blades.

If, like me, youre about to google alum block, let me save you so time: its a stone that helps stop bleeding from small cuts and also works to fight razor burn. This stuff is all top of the line and super classy.

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

If your dad is hooked on hot sauce, give him the chance to make his own with this kit.You have everything you need to make up to seven bottles of custom hot sauce. With bags of spices, peppers, glass bottles, labels, and easy-to-read recipe cards, your dad will be making sauce like a pro in no time. It even includes a pack of the super hot Ghost Pepper, so your dad can finally get the spicy mix of his dreams.

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

Is your dad hanging onto a George Constanza-style wallet? Get him this slim billfold to help keep him organized. Made of real leather, this wallet features a minimalist design. You can hold up to 10cards plus cash and the wallet still lays flat and slim. Plus, its equipped with RFID technology to protect your valuable information. Sleek, simple, this wallet is a definite dad pleaser.

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

No matter how advanced video games get, theres something about the classics that are just delightful. If your dads into video games, hell seriously love this throwback collection of games. First of all, the whole thing is shaped like Pac-Man, so its already awesome. Then, you just plug it into your TV and play Pac-Man or 10other games like Galaga, Dig Dug, New Rally X, or the extreme Super Pac-Man.

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

If your dad cant put a book down at bedtime,get him this book lightand save your mom from another sleepless night. The four LED lights are incredibly strong for their size and the lamp can clip anywhere. Dont worry about finding weird little batteries, this light is fully USB rechargeable. Plus, its super light, so dad can take it on trips and keep up his midnight reading wherever he goes.

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

Its tough to stay active when you work at a desk, so if your dad is looking to add a little exercise to his work day, get him this foldable bike. This cycle fits under the desk and folds away for easy carrying or storage. Whether you want a light ride or some heavy tension, the bike offers different resistance levels.

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

If I bought my dad a bracelet, he wouldnt be thrilled. But, if I bought him a magnetic wristband that makes working with tools even easier, hed be cool with it. This wristband features powerful magnets that can hold screws, nails, nut, bolts, basically all the small things that typically fall on the floor when your dads trying to work. Now, he can keep all the bits at hand and not have to worry about searching the floor for the one tiny washer he desperately needs.

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

This isnt a scientific fact, but from my experience, pretty much every dad loves golf. My dad always hated the sport growing up, but now he picks vacation spots based on who has the best course. So, give your dad a chance to practice more often with this portable putting green.

With three practice cups and built in sand traps to keep your putts from going all over the place, your dad will get a chance to seriously up his skills. Plus, its made from lightweight foam, so its easy to carry and only takes seconds to install.

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Ive never met a dad wholoves cleaning the floors, butIve met a lot of dads who love robots. Finally, its all come together with this robot vacuum cleaner. It vacuums, sweeps, dry mops, and removes pet hair all while youre sitting on the couch. When the battery runs out, the robot automatically goes back to its charging station and uses smart sensors so it doesnt fall down the stairs or bump into everything.

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont.html

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Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

On Valentines Day, you can always buy your partner chocolate. For Mothers Day, a spa gift certificate is asafe bet. But gifts for dads?The standard go-to Fathers Day gift is a tie, and its pretty lame. Then again, dads usually make gift giving even more challenging by insisting they want nothing this year. So, what can you do for the dad who doesnt want anything?

Thankfully, there are lots ofgenius products any dadwould lovethatgo way beyond Number 1 Dad mugs and novelty T-shirts. You can actually find Fathers Day presents that seem to do the impossible be something your dad would actually use.

Whether your dad is into unique grilling tools or having a robot clean his floors, get him something he actually wants so that when he opens up the Worlds Best Farter (I mean father) T-shirt you mistakenly thought would be funny, youre not the only one laughing. Better yet, you wont ever have to relive the day when you called his bluff and actually got him nothing. (Ive done that, and the look of disappointment is gut-wrenching.)

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

For Fathers Day, give him the beautiful gift of an ice-cold beer. I dont mean pick up a six-pack and put a bow on it, but get your dad these instant beer coolers. Keepthe Corkcicles in the freezer, and when a warm beer emergency strikes, just pop the Corkcicle into the bottle, and boom, instantly chilled brew. Its perfect for barbecues, parties, or anytime your dad forgot to put his beer in the fridge.

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

Your dad might not be aware of the glory of watching Netflix on his phone or tablet, but with this stand, hell be converted. The stand can also be usedas a grip for easier texting and calling. Italso folds completely flat, so you can keep it on your phone and still fit yourcell in your pocket.

Plus, its way easier to hold onto your phone with this grip, so therell be way fewer instances of dropping the phone and cracking the screen. (And if youre asking if you should buy a second for yourself, the answer is.)

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

One Amazon user wrote: This board game prompted the first time Trump and fun appeared in a same sentence of mine. Playing it on a number of occasions, with different crowds, each time it delivered laughs, catharsis, and knowledge I grew up in New York and I didnt know Trump did all of those things, said one of our guests. Besides holding up as an enjoyably competitive board game (players take turns being all-powerful CEO), is full of fascinating, funny, and yes, sometimes frightening facts about the 45th president.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

No matter how technologically savvy your dad might be, hell sometimes get caught with a dead cell battery. This high-capacity external batteryfeatures three USB outlets to charge your electronics quickly. If thats not enough, it also features a strong LED flashlight, so if hes ever caught in a blackout, this battery will make him the most popular person in the room.

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

OK, a coffee mug doesnt sound like a genius gift, but this is a pretty exceptional mug. This lid seals super tight, so youll never have a leak or spill. Plus,vacuum insulationkeeps drinks hot for seven hours (perfect for when he inevitably forgets he poured himself a cup.)

On Amazon, this mug hasalmost 14,000 reviews, and one user wrote: This is the best coffee mug I have ever owned. bottom line: lives up to its promise. I actually forgot this mug in my office before a meeting and when I came back for it six hours later the coffee was still STEAMING.

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

If your dad loves to grill, hell love it even more when he can tear it apart with these meat claws. You can use these to lift hot meal off the grill, shred it, or just pretend to be a grilling beast. The clawsare BPA-free, so you dont have to worry about melting or any kind of plastic contamination. Since theyre dishwasher safe, clean up is easy and wearing claws while you cook just makes everything more fun.

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

The days of briefcases are over and your dad needs something thats comfortable and professional looking to carry his laptop. Thats where this backpack comes in. It can hold any laptop under 17 inches and has 15 pockets to keep all his things separate and organized. Fully waterproof, he can carry his laptop in the rain without worry. Plus, the bag is extra futuristic with its external USB port to keep his electronic charged.

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

If your dad doesnt have a lot of time in the morning but needs his coffee, this travel press will make his day. Just throw in grounds and some boiling water and the travel press brews the coffee on the go. It has a double micro-filter so he wont end up drinking bits of grounds and the double-walled stainless steel cup keeps the coffee warm all day.

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

If your dad loves to drill you with crazy hypothetical questions, he will love this book.Finally, we all get to know the answer to the question, How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? The book is full of very serious, scientifically accurate answer to insanely crazy questions.

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

Whether your dad used to love his Gameboy or always resented Santa for never getting him one, give dad a taste of childhood with this handheld retro gaming console. This console plays almost any old cartridge (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Genesis) and the player is light enough to take anywhere. You get about eight hours of playtime per charge, so itll get your dad (and lets be honest, )through any future road trips or train commutes.

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

Bottle openers have a magical way of disappearing every time you need one. Dont let your dad fish around the kitchen drawers for an hour, get him this bottle opener magnet. Stick in your fridge and youre done. The super strong magnet will stay put and youll never lose your opener again.

The magnet is non-scratch, so it wont mess up the high-tech fridge your dad spent a fortune on, and can easily take it on and of if you ever need the bottle opener elsewhere. Plus, its made of stainless steel, so itll hold up to years of steady bottle opening.

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

Its surprising how often you need to use your tablet in the kitchen, but dont want to lay it on the counter to get immediately covered in hot spaghetti sauce. This kitchen stand solves the problem.It can hold any size tablet or even a Nintendo Switch, just in case your dad has a game going that he really cant put down. You can attach it to a wall or cabinet, or remove the mount completely and use it as a table stand.

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

If your dads record collection is gathering dust, get him this new turntable. The turntable features three speeds and speakers, so you have everything you need to play all your vinyl plus, it comes with an input jack, so you can hook up a smartphone or MP3 player to its speaker.

But the best part is that this turntable comes with a USB port and audio software so you can transfer your records to MP3s. This gift is the best of old and new school and will suit all of your dads musical needs for years to come.

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

For a movie-loving dad, this mini-projector will make his day. Its a compact size but 50 percentbrighter than a standard LED projector and only a portion of the price. You can connect your phone, tablet, computer, USB drive, or HD setup boxand see it projected on a screen or blank wall. Forget about a 75-inch TV, this can give you up to a 176-inch projection.

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Dad might be a little shy about asking for a massage or a gift certificate to a spa, but hell definitely appreciate this deep-kneading massager. Use it at home, in the car, or at the office to reduce shoulder tension, neck aches, or back pain. The rotating nodes imitate a professional shiatsu massage, so those troublesome shoulder knots will be gone in no time.

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

The Game of Thingsis a great board game thats easy to play and helps you get to know all the players better. Everyone playing gets a topic on a card, each player writes down an answer, and you have to guess who said what. This isnt about trivia or getting an answer right, but trying to come up with a fun answer and seeing how well you know the players at hand.

The game is more innocent than Cards Against Humanity since you get topicslike Things you would do with a million dollars or Things you shouldnt do in an elevator. So, you can play it with the whole family without hearing anything too embarrassing, but its also really fun and you might find out how hilarious your dad really is.

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

Dads often like to pretend that theyre so strong that nothing gets to them. But everybody gets stressed sometimes, and dads are no different. This acupressure mat and pillow set is designed to trigger pressure points to relax the muscles and relieve tension and stress. The product claims that laying on the mat for 10minutes a day can help release endorphins that block pain and youll feel shoulder, back, and neck issues slowly melt away. Plus, the pressure points increase blood flow so muscles repair faster and you feel a little more energized.

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Your dad needs something to contain the multitude of ties from previous Fathers Days. This motorized tie rack holds up to 72 ties and eight belts. It rotates with ease at the touch of a button, so your dad can look through his prodigious collection to pick out only the best tie for his day. To make it even cooler, the rack had LED lights, so he wont have to worry about selecting a tie from the back of a dark closet.

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

If your dads a man who rocks a suit and tie, keep him looking clean and classy with these collar stays. Though collar stays soundpretty old-timey and you probably dont know WTF they do, they actually make a huge difference. These stays are designed to fit all collared shirts with eight adjustable positions. In just a couple seconds, your dad can pop these on and never have to worry about having a floppy or sloppy collar ever again.

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

A good face wash isnt just for women. Most dads might not be up for adopting a thorough skin regime, but they can definitely use this all-in-one cleanser. This does everything its a face wash, toner, and exfoliating scrub all in one bottle. It has natural ingredients like aloe vera, vitamin C, willow bark, and burdock root to cleanse and tone the skin.

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

If your dad is a true beer lover, hell be overjoyed with this beer dispenser. It was featured on, and it turns any old can or bottle of beer into a draft-quality brew. You can use any style of beer from stouts to IPAs and there no gas or chemicals used in the product. Just pop in four AA batteries and your canned beer is transformed into a full flavored draft.

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

If your dads not a fan of getting up in the morning (guess we know where you get it from!), this alarm clock will make his life a lot easier. Its easy to set, and you can completely customize the sound, volume, and frequency of your morning alarm. Plus, it works as a smartphone dock and speaker, so you can play music at night or in the morning without leaving your bed. (And if it just so happens to find its way to your room instead of your parents, we wont tell.)

Dont worry that a phone call will come in a ruin your sleep, this alarm uses Smart Silence which automatically blocks all but emergency calls. Plus, you can use it as a white noise machine to help you drift off.

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

This caffeine shampoo isntmade to give dad extra energy in his morning shower, but to help withhair growth. The shampoo contains Vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize the scalp and hair, while the caffeine stimulates the roots of the hair to encourage growth.

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

is an amazing website with tons of interestingfacts about bizarre places and stories from around the world. Thankfully, the site put their very best stories into thisbook. If your dad loves travel, adventure, or even weird history, hell absolutely love this book.

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

First of all, how many backup batteries come in fake sardine cans? Just this one. Inside the cool 3-D printedcase is a powerful USB charger that works with almost any smartphone or tablet.You get about two iPhone charges out of this battery, so you dont have to worry about constantly plugging it into a charger.

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

If your dad loves making pizza as much as he doeseating it, this cast iron pan will make a perfect gift. Cast iron is the best material forheating evenly and staying hot, which makes it a great choice when making pizza. The reason cast iron pans arent used more often is that they can be a pain to season, which is the process used to prepare the cast iron for cooking.

But this pan is pre-seasoned and ready to pop in the oven. Cast iron is incredibly sturdy and never bends out of shape or loses even-heating capacity, so itll last a lifetime. Plus, if you get this for your dad, you can guilt him into making you pizza every time you come home. A win-win if Ive ever seen one.

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Your dad will feel like James Bond will this badass multitool. It looks like a simple pen, but it also works as a tablet stylus, ruler for metric and imperial measurement, a bubble level, and comes with a Phillipsand flathead screwdriver.

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

If your dad is more of a Ron Swanson type, hell appreciate this old-school shaving kit. This kit is made with all super high-quality, long-lasting material and gives your dad the experience of a class wet shave. You get an impeccable safety razor, badger hair brush, alum block, stainless steel shave bowl, shave soap, and five extra blades.

If, like me, youre about to google alum block, let me save you so time: its a stone that helps stop bleeding from small cuts and also works to fight razor burn. This stuff is all top of the line and super classy.

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

If your dad is hooked on hot sauce, give him the chance to make his own with this kit.You have everything you need to make up to seven bottles of custom hot sauce. With bags of spices, peppers, glass bottles, labels, and easy-to-read recipe cards, your dad will be making sauce like a pro in no time. It even includes a pack of the super hot Ghost Pepper, so your dad can finally get the spicy mix of his dreams.

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

Is your dad hanging onto a George Constanza-style wallet? Get him this slim billfold to help keep him organized. Made of real leather, this wallet features a minimalist design. You can hold up to 10cards plus cash and the wallet still lays flat and slim. Plus, its equipped with RFID technology to protect your valuable information. Sleek, simple, this wallet is a definite dad pleaser.

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

No matter how advanced video games get, theres something about the classics that are just delightful. If your dads into video games, hell seriously love this throwback collection of games. First of all, the whole thing is shaped like Pac-Man, so its already awesome. Then, you just plug it into your TV and play Pac-Man or 10other games like Galaga, Dig Dug, New Rally X, or the extreme Super Pac-Man.

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

If your dad cant put a book down at bedtime,get him this book lightand save your mom from another sleepless night. The four LED lights are incredibly strong for their size and the lamp can clip anywhere. Dont worry about finding weird little batteries, this light is fully USB rechargeable. Plus, its super light, so dad can take it on trips and keep up his midnight reading wherever he goes.

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

Its tough to stay active when you work at a desk, so if your dad is looking to add a little exercise to his work day, get him this foldable bike. This cycle fits under the desk and folds away for easy carrying or storage. Whether you want a light ride or some heavy tension, the bike offers different resistance levels.

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

If I bought my dad a bracelet, he wouldnt be thrilled. But, if I bought him a magnetic wristband that makes working with tools even easier, hed be cool with it. This wristband features powerful magnets that can hold screws, nails, nut, bolts, basically all the small things that typically fall on the floor when your dads trying to work. Now, he can keep all the bits at hand and not have to worry about searching the floor for the one tiny washer he desperately needs.

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

This isnt a scientific fact, but from my experience, pretty much every dad loves golf. My dad always hated the sport growing up, but now he picks vacation spots based on who has the best course. So, give your dad a chance to practice more often with this portable putting green.

With three practice cups and built in sand traps to keep your putts from going all over the place, your dad will get a chance to seriously up his skills. Plus, its made from lightweight foam, so its easy to carry and only takes seconds to install.

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Ive never met a dad wholoves cleaning the floors, butIve met a lot of dads who love robots. Finally, its all come together with this robot vacuum cleaner. It vacuums, sweeps, dry mops, and removes pet hair all while youre sitting on the couch. When the battery runs out, the robot automatically goes back to its charging station and uses smart sensors so it doesnt fall down the stairs or bump into everything.

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/162688933712

[allofbeercom]

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

On Valentines Day, you can always buy your partner chocolate. For Mothers Day, a spa gift certificate is asafe bet. But gifts for dads?The standard go-to Fathers Day gift is a tie, and its pretty lame. Then again, dads usually make gift giving even more challenging by insisting they want nothing this year. So, what can you do for the dad who doesnt want anything?

Thankfully, there are lots ofgenius products any dadwould lovethatgo way beyond Number 1 Dad mugs and novelty T-shirts. You can actually find Fathers Day presents that seem to do the impossible be something your dad would actually use.

Whether your dad is into unique grilling tools or having a robot clean his floors, get him something he actually wants so that when he opens up the Worlds Best Farter (I mean father) T-shirt you mistakenly thought would be funny, youre not the only one laughing. Better yet, you wont ever have to relive the day when you called his bluff and actually got him nothing. (Ive done that, and the look of disappointment is gut-wrenching.)

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

For Fathers Day, give him the beautiful gift of an ice-cold beer. I dont mean pick up a six-pack and put a bow on it, but get your dad these instant beer coolers. Keepthe Corkcicles in the freezer, and when a warm beer emergency strikes, just pop the Corkcicle into the bottle, and boom, instantly chilled brew. Its perfect for barbecues, parties, or anytime your dad forgot to put his beer in the fridge.

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

Your dad might not be aware of the glory of watching Netflix on his phone or tablet, but with this stand, hell be converted. The stand can also be usedas a grip for easier texting and calling. Italso folds completely flat, so you can keep it on your phone and still fit yourcell in your pocket.

Plus, its way easier to hold onto your phone with this grip, so therell be way fewer instances of dropping the phone and cracking the screen. (And if youre asking if you should buy a second for yourself, the answer is.)

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

One Amazon user wrote: This board game prompted the first time Trump and fun appeared in a same sentence of mine. Playing it on a number of occasions, with different crowds, each time it delivered laughs, catharsis, and knowledge I grew up in New York and I didnt know Trump did all of those things, said one of our guests. Besides holding up as an enjoyably competitive board game (players take turns being all-powerful CEO), is full of fascinating, funny, and yes, sometimes frightening facts about the 45th president.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

No matter how technologically savvy your dad might be, hell sometimes get caught with a dead cell battery. This high-capacity external batteryfeatures three USB outlets to charge your electronics quickly. If thats not enough, it also features a strong LED flashlight, so if hes ever caught in a blackout, this battery will make him the most popular person in the room.

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

OK, a coffee mug doesnt sound like a genius gift, but this is a pretty exceptional mug. This lid seals super tight, so youll never have a leak or spill. Plus,vacuum insulationkeeps drinks hot for seven hours (perfect for when he inevitably forgets he poured himself a cup.)

On Amazon, this mug hasalmost 14,000 reviews, and one user wrote: This is the best coffee mug I have ever owned. bottom line: lives up to its promise. I actually forgot this mug in my office before a meeting and when I came back for it six hours later the coffee was still STEAMING.

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

If your dad loves to grill, hell love it even more when he can tear it apart with these meat claws. You can use these to lift hot meal off the grill, shred it, or just pretend to be a grilling beast. The clawsare BPA-free, so you dont have to worry about melting or any kind of plastic contamination. Since theyre dishwasher safe, clean up is easy and wearing claws while you cook just makes everything more fun.

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

The days of briefcases are over and your dad needs something thats comfortable and professional looking to carry his laptop. Thats where this backpack comes in. It can hold any laptop under 17 inches and has 15 pockets to keep all his things separate and organized. Fully waterproof, he can carry his laptop in the rain without worry. Plus, the bag is extra futuristic with its external USB port to keep his electronic charged.

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

If your dad doesnt have a lot of time in the morning but needs his coffee, this travel press will make his day. Just throw in grounds and some boiling water and the travel press brews the coffee on the go. It has a double micro-filter so he wont end up drinking bits of grounds and the double-walled stainless steel cup keeps the coffee warm all day.

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

If your dad loves to drill you with crazy hypothetical questions, he will love this book.Finally, we all get to know the answer to the question, How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? The book is full of very serious, scientifically accurate answer to insanely crazy questions.

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

Whether your dad used to love his Gameboy or always resented Santa for never getting him one, give dad a taste of childhood with this handheld retro gaming console. This console plays almost any old cartridge (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Genesis) and the player is light enough to take anywhere. You get about eight hours of playtime per charge, so itll get your dad (and lets be honest, )through any future road trips or train commutes.

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

Bottle openers have a magical way of disappearing every time you need one. Dont let your dad fish around the kitchen drawers for an hour, get him this bottle opener magnet. Stick in your fridge and youre done. The super strong magnet will stay put and youll never lose your opener again.

The magnet is non-scratch, so it wont mess up the high-tech fridge your dad spent a fortune on, and can easily take it on and of if you ever need the bottle opener elsewhere. Plus, its made of stainless steel, so itll hold up to years of steady bottle opening.

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

Its surprising how often you need to use your tablet in the kitchen, but dont want to lay it on the counter to get immediately covered in hot spaghetti sauce. This kitchen stand solves the problem.It can hold any size tablet or even a Nintendo Switch, just in case your dad has a game going that he really cant put down. You can attach it to a wall or cabinet, or remove the mount completely and use it as a table stand.

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

If your dads record collection is gathering dust, get him this new turntable. The turntable features three speeds and speakers, so you have everything you need to play all your vinyl plus, it comes with an input jack, so you can hook up a smartphone or MP3 player to its speaker.

But the best part is that this turntable comes with a USB port and audio software so you can transfer your records to MP3s. This gift is the best of old and new school and will suit all of your dads musical needs for years to come.

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

For a movie-loving dad, this mini-projector will make his day. Its a compact size but 50 percentbrighter than a standard LED projector and only a portion of the price. You can connect your phone, tablet, computer, USB drive, or HD setup boxand see it projected on a screen or blank wall. Forget about a 75-inch TV, this can give you up to a 176-inch projection.

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Dad might be a little shy about asking for a massage or a gift certificate to a spa, but hell definitely appreciate this deep-kneading massager. Use it at home, in the car, or at the office to reduce shoulder tension, neck aches, or back pain. The rotating nodes imitate a professional shiatsu massage, so those troublesome shoulder knots will be gone in no time.

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

The Game of Thingsis a great board game thats easy to play and helps you get to know all the players better. Everyone playing gets a topic on a card, each player writes down an answer, and you have to guess who said what. This isnt about trivia or getting an answer right, but trying to come up with a fun answer and seeing how well you know the players at hand.

The game is more innocent than Cards Against Humanity since you get topicslike Things you would do with a million dollars or Things you shouldnt do in an elevator. So, you can play it with the whole family without hearing anything too embarrassing, but its also really fun and you might find out how hilarious your dad really is.

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

Dads often like to pretend that theyre so strong that nothing gets to them. But everybody gets stressed sometimes, and dads are no different. This acupressure mat and pillow set is designed to trigger pressure points to relax the muscles and relieve tension and stress. The product claims that laying on the mat for 10minutes a day can help release endorphins that block pain and youll feel shoulder, back, and neck issues slowly melt away. Plus, the pressure points increase blood flow so muscles repair faster and you feel a little more energized.

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Your dad needs something to contain the multitude of ties from previous Fathers Days. This motorized tie rack holds up to 72 ties and eight belts. It rotates with ease at the touch of a button, so your dad can look through his prodigious collection to pick out only the best tie for his day. To make it even cooler, the rack had LED lights, so he wont have to worry about selecting a tie from the back of a dark closet.

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

If your dads a man who rocks a suit and tie, keep him looking clean and classy with these collar stays. Though collar stays soundpretty old-timey and you probably dont know WTF they do, they actually make a huge difference. These stays are designed to fit all collared shirts with eight adjustable positions. In just a couple seconds, your dad can pop these on and never have to worry about having a floppy or sloppy collar ever again.

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

A good face wash isnt just for women. Most dads might not be up for adopting a thorough skin regime, but they can definitely use this all-in-one cleanser. This does everything its a face wash, toner, and exfoliating scrub all in one bottle. It has natural ingredients like aloe vera, vitamin C, willow bark, and burdock root to cleanse and tone the skin.

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

If your dad is a true beer lover, hell be overjoyed with this beer dispenser. It was featured on, and it turns any old can or bottle of beer into a draft-quality brew. You can use any style of beer from stouts to IPAs and there no gas or chemicals used in the product. Just pop in four AA batteries and your canned beer is transformed into a full flavored draft.

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

If your dads not a fan of getting up in the morning (guess we know where you get it from!), this alarm clock will make his life a lot easier. Its easy to set, and you can completely customize the sound, volume, and frequency of your morning alarm. Plus, it works as a smartphone dock and speaker, so you can play music at night or in the morning without leaving your bed. (And if it just so happens to find its way to your room instead of your parents, we wont tell.)

Dont worry that a phone call will come in a ruin your sleep, this alarm uses Smart Silence which automatically blocks all but emergency calls. Plus, you can use it as a white noise machine to help you drift off.

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

This caffeine shampoo isntmade to give dad extra energy in his morning shower, but to help withhair growth. The shampoo contains Vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize the scalp and hair, while the caffeine stimulates the roots of the hair to encourage growth.

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

is an amazing website with tons of interestingfacts about bizarre places and stories from around the world. Thankfully, the site put their very best stories into thisbook. If your dad loves travel, adventure, or even weird history, hell absolutely love this book.

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

First of all, how many backup batteries come in fake sardine cans? Just this one. Inside the cool 3-D printedcase is a powerful USB charger that works with almost any smartphone or tablet.You get about two iPhone charges out of this battery, so you dont have to worry about constantly plugging it into a charger.

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

If your dad loves making pizza as much as he doeseating it, this cast iron pan will make a perfect gift. Cast iron is the best material forheating evenly and staying hot, which makes it a great choice when making pizza. The reason cast iron pans arent used more often is that they can be a pain to season, which is the process used to prepare the cast iron for cooking.

But this pan is pre-seasoned and ready to pop in the oven. Cast iron is incredibly sturdy and never bends out of shape or loses even-heating capacity, so itll last a lifetime. Plus, if you get this for your dad, you can guilt him into making you pizza every time you come home. A win-win if Ive ever seen one.

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Your dad will feel like James Bond will this badass multitool. It looks like a simple pen, but it also works as a tablet stylus, ruler for metric and imperial measurement, a bubble level, and comes with a Phillipsand flathead screwdriver.

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

If your dad is more of a Ron Swanson type, hell appreciate this old-school shaving kit. This kit is made with all super high-quality, long-lasting material and gives your dad the experience of a class wet shave. You get an impeccable safety razor, badger hair brush, alum block, stainless steel shave bowl, shave soap, and five extra blades.

If, like me, youre about to google alum block, let me save you so time: its a stone that helps stop bleeding from small cuts and also works to fight razor burn. This stuff is all top of the line and super classy.

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

If your dad is hooked on hot sauce, give him the chance to make his own with this kit.You have everything you need to make up to seven bottles of custom hot sauce. With bags of spices, peppers, glass bottles, labels, and easy-to-read recipe cards, your dad will be making sauce like a pro in no time. It even includes a pack of the super hot Ghost Pepper, so your dad can finally get the spicy mix of his dreams.

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

Is your dad hanging onto a George Constanza-style wallet? Get him this slim billfold to help keep him organized. Made of real leather, this wallet features a minimalist design. You can hold up to 10cards plus cash and the wallet still lays flat and slim. Plus, its equipped with RFID technology to protect your valuable information. Sleek, simple, this wallet is a definite dad pleaser.

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

No matter how advanced video games get, theres something about the classics that are just delightful. If your dads into video games, hell seriously love this throwback collection of games. First of all, the whole thing is shaped like Pac-Man, so its already awesome. Then, you just plug it into your TV and play Pac-Man or 10other games like Galaga, Dig Dug, New Rally X, or the extreme Super Pac-Man.

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

If your dad cant put a book down at bedtime,get him this book lightand save your mom from another sleepless night. The four LED lights are incredibly strong for their size and the lamp can clip anywhere. Dont worry about finding weird little batteries, this light is fully USB rechargeable. Plus, its super light, so dad can take it on trips and keep up his midnight reading wherever he goes.

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

Its tough to stay active when you work at a desk, so if your dad is looking to add a little exercise to his work day, get him this foldable bike. This cycle fits under the desk and folds away for easy carrying or storage. Whether you want a light ride or some heavy tension, the bike offers different resistance levels.

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

If I bought my dad a bracelet, he wouldnt be thrilled. But, if I bought him a magnetic wristband that makes working with tools even easier, hed be cool with it. This wristband features powerful magnets that can hold screws, nails, nut, bolts, basically all the small things that typically fall on the floor when your dads trying to work. Now, he can keep all the bits at hand and not have to worry about searching the floor for the one tiny washer he desperately needs.

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

This isnt a scientific fact, but from my experience, pretty much every dad loves golf. My dad always hated the sport growing up, but now he picks vacation spots based on who has the best course. So, give your dad a chance to practice more often with this portable putting green.

With three practice cups and built in sand traps to keep your putts from going all over the place, your dad will get a chance to seriously up his skills. Plus, its made from lightweight foam, so its easy to carry and only takes seconds to install.

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Ive never met a dad wholoves cleaning the floors, butIve met a lot of dads who love robots. Finally, its all come together with this robot vacuum cleaner. It vacuums, sweeps, dry mops, and removes pet hair all while youre sitting on the couch. When the battery runs out, the robot automatically goes back to its charging station and uses smart sensors so it doesnt fall down the stairs or bump into everything.

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/