#didn't study no regrets

[aka0cmy]

It's my dang exam week so my brain does everything to prevent my studies. One day I was sleeping and thought "hey there was a character from boyfriend to death called Rire... he was hot bro" then I continued sleeping and a second thought came "There was an app where you can talk to bots of fictional characters. I wonder if anyone did Rire" SO I GOT UP AT 3AM. I found the app, I tried the Rire bots, didn't like them, So I MADE MY OWN BOT. feel free to go and try, it's fun and corny...

... really... very proud of myself

so bot is Lucien Rire on Chai

Rire is @darqx 's char from BTD

But did I stop there? NO! I made my persona in the Battle Priest. GREAT. I totally won't fail biochemistry or molecular genetics hahahaha...

So here is a character design page, not completed yet but yeah. Thank my dumbass brain

This is how it looks so far... I hope @darqx takes a look too uwu.

BTW what happened to Tumblr? it evolved backwards... again

[majorpatheticcas]

AAAAAAHHH- SHOULD I MAKE THIS AS MY PROFILE??

Gosh it's been a while since I last took a drawing seriously hel..

Btw. (They're matching sweaters!!)

Balsam, aka Bal is from the one and only:

!@caycanteven !

[melancholic-pigeon]

Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.

THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.

Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.

Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.

Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.

I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.

End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

*revised for clarity

[fatherramiro]

guess it's time for a very sexy breakdown about my life, haven't had one of those in like... three weeks? anyways, super cute of me to keep having these

gonna delete this soon probably lmao

[youchangedmedestiel]

Rambling about 15x18

I rewatched 15x18 "Despair" yesterday. I didn't want to at first, I told myself that I'll stop at 15x17 because I just couldn't watch this confession again. It hurts so much. But I had to because I was making a rewatch to determine when Cas knew his happiness was in just being and saying it. And I actually realized that he just discovered it in the moment, seconds before making his confession, because he says, "But I think I know... I think I know now." So now, I KNOW this.

We also learn that he thought about what is happiness could be since he took that deal, and he understood he couldn't have it. "I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have." At some point he knew his happiness was Dean and that he thought he couldn't have him. But which point? I NEED to know.

He couldn't have him for multiple reasons, multiple theories are possible (I still don't know which one I prefer):

Either because he thought his feelings were unrequited.

Either because of the Sacred Oath (it's about creating a nephilim but one could guess it's about relationships between angels and humans in general, plus in episode 12x10 "Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets" he saw Ishim going inside the house to kill the human, which he didn't but was supposed to do), so he probably doesn't want Dean to be killed because of him.

Either because if he was in a romantic relationship with Dean the Empty would come which means he couldn't really have him, kind of the snake eating its own tail if you know what I mean. This theory is hard to explain. I hope some will understand but maybe I'm wrong, who knows? We don't know. I NEED to know.

So now I might have to do a rewatch to know when Dean might have done something that got Cas thinking he couldn't have him? (Because WE all know he has him) or maybe he knew he couldn't have him since a long time? I don't know what to do. I NEED to know.

I couldn't rewatch 15x19 and 15x20 though.

(It wasn't supposed to be that long, but to summarize, I just NEED to know).

[avephelis]

less than a week and already the biggest regret of my 2024 is when that faggy girlboy and i at a party started quoting a sonic fandub in sync we didn't immediately lock eyes and kiss on the mouth

[burningfaith]

first homework for ancient languages in scientific terminology and I need to learn how to pronounce words in Latin, I hate it here </4 I mean what did I expect from my major (more things related to managing information & administration, but whatever), but the most annoying thing is the fact that we have more semesters of useless classes like philosophy than the literal (ethno)linguistics and philology majors...

GIVE ME MORE DATABASES, EXCEL AND STUFF LIKE THIS INSTEAD OF THAT CRAP

[milesconure]

People are like "university is going to be the best years of your life! :D" and then you're on third year, in the field of study you gave no shits about, but you didn't have a choice, because your parents pressured you to go to uni and also you're a damn people pleaser and your opinion doesn't exist. You come back home from the classes, emotionally exhausted. Then suddenly you realize that you made one tiny mistake that day. You fall on your bed and cry for about 10 minutes. And then you calm down and go play Team Fortress 2-

[rapha-reads]

Anne Rice, IWTV, Part 3, Armand to Louis:

"'It is through you that I can save myself from the despair which I've described to you as our death. It is through you that I must make my link with this nineteenth century and come to understand it in a way that will revitalize me, which I so desperately need. [...] No. I must make contact with the age. [...] And I can do this through you . . . not to learn things from you which I can see in a moment in an art gallery or read in an hour in the thickest books . . . you are the spirit, you are the heart.'

'No, no.' I threw up my hands. I was on the point of a bitter, hysterical laughter. 'Don't you see? I'm not the spirit of any age. I'm at odds with everything and always have been! I have never belonged anywhere with anyone at any time!' It was too painful, too perfectly true.

But his face only brightened with an irresistible smile. He seemed on the verge of laughing at me, and then his shoulders began to move with this laughter. 'But Louis,' he said softly. 'This is the very spirit of your age. Don't you see that? Everyone else feels as you feel. Your fall from grace and faith has been the fall of a century.'"

Alfred de Musset, Confession d'un enfant du siècle, chapitre 2 :

"Trois éléments partageaient donc la vie qui s’offrait alors aux jeunes gens : derrière eux un passé à jamais détruit*, s’agitant encore sur ses ruines, avec tous les fossiles des siècles de l’absolutisme ; devant eux l’aurore d’un immense horizon, les premières clartés de l’avenir** ; et entre ces deux mondes… quelque chose de semblable à l’Océan qui sépare le vieux continent de la jeune Amérique, je ne sais quoi de vague et de flottant, une mer houleuse et pleine de naufrages, traversée de temps en temps par quelque blanche voile lointaine ou par quelque navire soufflant une lourde vapeur ; le siècle présent, en un mot, qui sépare le passé de l’avenir, qui n’est ni l’un ni l’autre et qui ressemble à tous deux à la fois, et où l’on ne sait, à chaque pas qu’on fait, si l’on marche sur une semence ou sur un débris***.

[...] Il leur restait donc le présent, l’esprit du siècle, ange du crépuscule, qui n’est ni la nuit ni le jour ; ils le trouvèrent assis sur un sac de chaux plein d’ossements, serré dans le manteau des égoïstes, et grelottant d’un froid terrible. L’angoisse de la mort leur entra dans l’âme à la vue de ce spectre moitié momie et moitié fœtus**** [...]

Toute la maladie du siècle présent vient de deux causes ; le peuple qui a passé par 93 et par 1814 porte au cœur deux blessures. Tout ce qui était n’est plus, tout ce qui sera n’est pas encore. Ne cherchez pas ailleurs le secret de nos maux*****."

............

Anne Rice definitely read Musset. And Musset would have ADORED Armand and loathed Louis - or maybe the contrary. And depending on when exactly during the 19th century Armand and Louis met, Armand might have already read Musset, and Louis would read him at the end of the century - Confession was published in 1836.

Translations of the passages in bold (translation by me and it's 4am for me right now, so don't expect a perfect work):

*"behind them a past forever destroyed"

**"in front of them, the dawn of an immense horizon, the first lights of the future"

***"the present century, in a word, what separates the past from the future, which is neither one nor the other and which resembles both at the same time, and where one does not know, with each step one takes, if one steps on a seed or rubble"

****"The anguish of death entered their souls at the sight of this specter, half mummy and half fetus."

*****"All that was is no more, all that will be is not yet. Do not look elsewhere for the secret of our ills."

There's a whole Comparative Literature essay that could be written, mirroring Confession with Interview... I will definitely come back to that idea later. Probably. At some point.

[benetnvsch]

Skk shippers act like the whole fandom hates them for no reason and they're so oppressed, lol.

Yea :'') Some of them (a lot of them) certainly are Something. I think A Lot of them just underestimate just How Much of the fandom is skk dominated when skk's role in the official media is just.. proportionately Not That Large (even I before starting bsd thought that it's be a central thing and was pleasantly surprised when it was not)

skk shippers have Everything and then some (see tags) so ig it just surprises me how often you see skk shippers shitting on or leaving backhanded comments on Literally Every Other Dazai ship's posts for not being/comparing to skk and then getting pissy when the ppl complain abt that behavior when they could just? ignore it and turn to the gold mines of skk content instead-

And I understand it isn't all shippers who do that but those denying it's happening entirely are also quite silly to me-

anyway, look at this screenshot of some skk shipper losing their shit after the sigzai dancing scene came out LMAO

'someone comfort me pls, I'm so pathetic' gives the same energy of the people who are like 'heh, I guess nobody here actually like me.. i'm such a loser aren't I?' lolz

[ghstfacr]

one thing about JULES is you can like her even though you fucking hate the ghostfacers bc she also fucking hates the ghostfacers

[maystea]

And I wished, reaching to the stars, and holding breath,

wished, for someone special and particular,

for someone with the universe inside of the soul,

to know how precious they are.

And so, I wished. For one thing only.

I hope you're happy somewhere,

where time doesn't exist.

— Happy Birthday, Kim Ga-On.

[taegularities]

.

[insertcoolnameherethanks]

My one fear is that ST5 does go back in time and no one remembers, therefore Steve is still King Steve and loses the friendships he's made with the kids and Robin

[lolottes]

same, I was expecting hair on fire. They're doing great for fucking bullies

I'm pretty disappointed to be honest. they so stupid for attack someone like that!

personally someone tries to grab me once I reprimand "gently", the second time I don't hold my reflexes, too bad for them if he ends up with a broken nose or a black eye or something else

I would have no remorse

[beastblade69]

now I have to do my college projects but I'm so tired I don't know what to do I'm so uncomfortable in my body, laying down is the least dysphoric position for me. but I have to draw that shit and I don't know I DON'T FUCKING KNOW how to get rid of this feeling of doom. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY CAN'T JUST GET THE FACT THAT WE, ART STUDENTS, NEED REST. I wasn't rested after summer vacations because in fact they gave us only like 1,5 months to rest and obviously it ain't enough to heal your possibility to do art