#i know dean loves cas

[youchangedmedestiel]

Rambling about 15x18

I rewatched 15x18 "Despair" yesterday. I didn't want to at first, I told myself that I'll stop at 15x17 because I just couldn't watch this confession again. It hurts so much. But I had to because I was making a rewatch to determine when Cas knew his happiness was in just being and saying it. And I actually realized that he just discovered it in the moment, seconds before making his confession, because he says, "But I think I know... I think I know now." So now, I KNOW this.

We also learn that he thought about what is happiness could be since he took that deal, and he understood he couldn't have it. "I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have." At some point he knew his happiness was Dean and that he thought he couldn't have him. But which point? I NEED to know.

He couldn't have him for multiple reasons, multiple theories are possible (I still don't know which one I prefer):

Either because he thought his feelings were unrequited.

Either because of the Sacred Oath (it's about creating a nephilim but one could guess it's about relationships between angels and humans in general, plus in episode 12x10 "Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets" he saw Ishim going inside the house to kill the human, which he didn't but was supposed to do), so he probably doesn't want Dean to be killed because of him.

Either because if he was in a romantic relationship with Dean the Empty would come which means he couldn't really have him, kind of the snake eating its own tail if you know what I mean. This theory is hard to explain. I hope some will understand but maybe I'm wrong, who knows? We don't know. I NEED to know.

So now I might have to do a rewatch to know when Dean might have done something that got Cas thinking he couldn't have him? (Because WE all know he has him) or maybe he knew he couldn't have him since a long time? I don't know what to do. I NEED to know.

I couldn't rewatch 15x19 and 15x20 though.

(It wasn't supposed to be that long, but to summarize, I just NEED to know).

[souporsaladnatural]

Obsessed with the sudden shift in Cas' willingness to say insane romantic shit to dean in season 8. A couple of seasons ago, he would tell dean that they had a profound bond to his face. That everything he did, he did for Dean. Now? He's hesitating. He clenches his fists to avoid hugging Dean back in purgatory. He stutters and looks away before saying he stayed away from Dean to protect him. When asked what broke through heaven's brainwashing, he looks away and says he doesn't know. It's so interesting to me

[cthulhum]

i lied theres no sex. were gonna sit down and watch supernatural while we analyze the way almost every character is queer coded especially dean

[strawlessandbraless]

Oof right in the abandonment issues

[jenanigans1207]

I just love the idea that Cas and Dean actually manage to be sneaky in the beginning of their relationship, keeping it secret not because they don’t trust Sam or are ashamed but because they need to feel solid in it themselves before they tell anyone. So they’ve actually done a spectacular job of keeping quiet and not getting caught.

And then one day Cas and Dean are sitting at the table in the bunker kitchen, half asleep while Cas sips coffee and Dean munches halfheartedly on soggy cereal, when Sam comes back from his morning run.

“There you guys are!” He says as he pulls his headphones out of his ears. “I’ve been waiting for you to get up!”

“Why?” Dean asks, dropping his spoon into his bowl and splashing a little milk over the side. “You find us a case?”

Sam shakes his head as he heads to the fridge for a bottle of water. “I think there’s something wrong with the bunker.”

“What kind of something?” Dean asks, casting a curious glance around.

The bunker had seemed fine to him. Nothing strange had happened. No weird noises, no strange smells, nothing creepy or daunting that was outside of the ordinary as far as living completely underground went.

“Well, the lights have been acting weird.” Sam begins, thinking. “And the electricity will just randomly short out. It’s like all the fuses blow at once, or something, even when nothing has changed.”

Dean, still half asleep and only a few sips into his own coffee, doesn’t immediately make the connection. But Cas seems to go incredibly still across the table from him.

“Huh.” Dean says, pushing his bowl away and reaching for his mug. “I haven’t seen any of that. When is this happening?”

Dean still hasn’t pieced it together, but Cas is sending him a solid, desperate stare over the rim of his own mug. Dean’s mind is trying to kick on, to figure it out, and then Sam says—

“Well, most recently was last night. You were already in bed. And Cas— I don’t know where you were.”

And oh. Oh. Dean understands now.

Because yeah, he had been in bed last night. It just so happens that Cas had been in his bed, too. And they were— busy, but sleeping isn’t exactly what they were doing.

Dean purposely does not meet Cas’s gaze.

“Weird.” Dean says with a shrug that he hopes is nonchalant.

“Yeah,” Cas finally manages to agree, his fingers tight around his mug. “That is strange, I haven’t noticed it, either. We’ll have to keep an eye out for it and address it if it’s an electrical issue.”

Sam, beautiful, sweet Sam, doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss. He shrugs. “Yeah, just let me know if you notice it. Maybe it’s just a weird fluke.”

And it will be awhile yet before Sam understands why this only happens when he’s alone in the bunker at night, why it never happens when Dean and Cas stay up with him to the early hours of the morning to research. Sam will live confused but peacefully oblivious for as long as they can all get away with.

[found--family]

cas would not kiss dean first. dean would also not kiss cas first. this is their tragedy. but a shapeshifter or some kind of monster clone or djinn dream would initiate the first kiss and they would 100% return it. or the real dean and cas would've just simply fallen together somehow like tripped and fell and gravity would bring their mouths together whoops anyway they'd both take it from there - and that's not fate pulling strings it's just dumb luck for these two dumbasses (affectionate)

[mxrisacoulter]

Barbie (2023) // Supernatural (2005-2020) 8x05 - "Blood Brother"

[wigglebox]

Destiel Pride - Day 22; Featherlight ✨

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

Me: hey brain, can we think normal things tonight?

Brain: PALEONTOLOGIST!DEAN FINDS AN ANGEL THAT GOT BURIED DURING THE EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS.

Me: *quietly* ...what the fuck

Brain: Dean is working on an excavation in a cave system when he uncovers this. fcking HUMAN BEING WITH *WINGS* AND *TOO MANY EYES*. PRESERVED IN ROCK IN THE SAME STRATA AS THE DINOSAURS. And ofc Dean is really freaked out and scared of this thing, but then he notices that the figure is curled forward over something, and as he looks closer he sees the skeletons of a nest of baby raptors that the "human" figure was holding tight to its chest, like it was trying to shield them from something. And he realizes that this... Thing... died protecting them.

Except the "human" figure isnt a skeleton, its preserved fully in the rock. Or perhaps...

[strawberrryangel]

angel with a shotgun. woah. just like in destiel.

[tiktaalic]

there are many many many characters who if they went through what dean winchester went through would go oh! i have to either change or die! i have to suffer through the unimaginable pain of growth because the other option is the unimaginable pain of stagnation, which i have been doing for forty years and is killing me killing me killing me and to boot there are no rewards of being loved! but. well and truly. WELL. and truly. i think dean could knuckle through ignoring even the last lesson.

[masakia]

Everyday I fight the urge of writing a destiel fic where everything is the same but Dean has a baby girl (the mother didn't want to be involved cause they were both young, like 24 maybe.) So Dean is like "well I guess I'm gonna parent this child now" and yeah he raised Sam and he did the best job he could with the circumstances they were given, but something about this little girl makes Dean wanna cry everytime he looks at her and thinks how he doesn't know how to give her a better life.

Anyway she would be two at the first season and Dean would put her hair up in silly hairstyles and Sam just has to reset himself when he enters the impala during the first episode and there is just baby stuff on the back seat.

When Cas shows up the baby gets attached to him really fast and Cas, who has never interacted with a baby before, holds her by the back of her clothes like she is a kitten.

[fluffsnake]

[strawlessandbraless]

Honestly if I want to clown over destiel, it’s my god given right. Like I appreciate your concern, but no thank you. Choosing hope and love just like my boy castiel, this is where I live now

[diamondsunbursts-and-marblehalls]

I know we’ve all talked about the callbacks to the tragic greek myth of orpheus and eurydice in relation to charles and edwin but just think of the callbacks to the more ancient and tragic myth of dean and castiel

[valeron99]

No one making me laugh so hard so many years.

challenge from here lets go everyone)